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Historical-Basis-196 Archive

View 4 posts and 42 comments by Historical-Basis-196 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Common scenario, that the women want to split when we're not at the top of our game. Never when we're on our way up. Definitely no point in staying with someone like that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 07:54 PM
1

Escorting isn't illegal, technically. You pay for companionship and what happens behind closed doors is up to two consenting adults. Many escorts have LLCs and pay taxes etc. That said, there's obviously still danger so some precautions must be made (like using a Google Voice number and getting your info out in as few places as possible..)
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 01:26 PM
1

Message me, happy to help describe how it all works.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 01:23 PM
12

If your main motivation for dating is sex, you could just go the escort route. I did, and it fills an immediate need without me putting in the work and emotional strain of dating someone new.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:54 PM
2

Thank you, this perspective helps.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 12:27 AM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 12:26 AM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 12:26 AM
1

Depends on what you're looking for in dating. If it's just for sex, which us 100% understandable, escorts might be an alternate route.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 05:18 PM
5

You're right, four months is better than most. We'll, she came up with a $ number (half the value of this house) which I agreed to, and after I wrote her the check, which came out of my retirement nest egg, she didn't contest anything else in the divorce. No lawyers, just waiting on the state court to go through the process.. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 05:07 PM
11

We shared a life for 16 years, so it's jarring to be fully on my own. Thank you! One day at a time..
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 05:03 PM
3

20 lbs lost here--due to loss of appetite, my simple cooking (no noodle dishes like she used to make), and of course exercise. People have commented I'm looking lean and "younger". I like it, hopefully I keep this up as I actually start to date again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 04:49 AM
2

16 years of being very close with my in-laws and nephews, and there's a high chance I may never see them again. I'm not part of that family anymore, and that's just it. I miss them to a point. Now I also feel some blame towards them for not helping their daughter course correct and help fix the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 12:50 AM
2

100% this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 12:45 AM
4

Emotional affair...I don't think that tips the scale of bad behavior, sir. All in all it sounds like you'll be better off in the "2.0" stage of your life. Yes financially we inevitably get divorce-raped, but you make a very good living and will be sure to rebuild.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:15 AM
4

My ex's friends and parents. Her friends: lifelong bachelorettes and feminists. Her parents: domineering mother and deadbeat father. She was basically destined to disrespect men.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 09:55 PM
3

Common theme bro, but longterm we persevere.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:20 PM
5

I'm three months in, so it's a bit too early to tell, but right now it seems my ex will have an easier ramp. It's probably a common theme when the divorce is initiated by the wife. They've had at least a few months, maybe even years, to ponder this and figure out their next steps while most men are blindsided by the news. I don't wish her ill, but do wish her to have regrets. They say success is the best form of revenge..
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:18 PM
15

It definitely feels like that right now. On the other hand, 80% of divorcees get into another marriage within 5 years! Crazy statistic.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:55 PM
1

Agreed but it wasn't really optional, given that I'd married a princess.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 09:31 PM
1

True, not marital property but it's considered to be her sole property as a gift.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 02:19 AM
1

So much lost financially over the course of my marriage. Resigned high profile jobs, moved across country to support her work, all the money spent on bullshit purchases, vacations, gifts and jewelry. Bought a house near her parents. All the while, paid the majority of all the bills. Then screwed bigtime at divorce. The process of rebuilding begins, though today it seems like an uphill journey.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 08:50 PM
2

Never. I took the marital wows seriously and believed we were "each other"s persons." Hindsight is 20/20, now it's clear that despite some great times at the beginning of the relationship, I had settled down with the wrong person.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 08:30 PM
1

Yes, since the property is joint owned she can ask for half of the fair market value on it. You can write her a check, for a mutually agreed upon amount, or be forced to sell. This happened to me (I decided to keep and stay in the house) and it's another way the man gets screwed. I cut her a check and she doesn't have to deal with selling, just to get movers for whatever furniture she wants. And of course when / if I eventually decide to sell the house, I will make less because of real estate ag…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 03:45 AM
7

My sbtx is also selectively choosing what she's going to take with her. I'm staying in the suburbs while she moves back to NYC. Some of the stuff she leaves behind will end up on the curb. Slightly depressing realization when I saw her leave 16 years of photos, scrapbooks, and cards behind as well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 11:10 PM
3

I assigned no significance to it at the time, but a self-professed feminist would be a red flag for me today. IMO just a nicer way to frame up "I'm bitchy" and more.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:29 PM
1

Huge effect. My ex had a good relationship with her father, and he's a good guy and an old hippie-- but someone who never provided much for the family and let the crazy wife make all the decisions. No wonder my ex grew up to be disrespectful toward men. I also had my own wagon-full of baggage from my upbringing. Hindsight is 20/20.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:23 PM
2

It's true. Hindsight is 20/20 but things weren't so clear at that point in time. Also when we're younger we might feel we have fewer options and can settle too soon. I know that's what I did-- settled with a woman who was nice to look at, but shared neither my interests nor my values.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 09:13 PM
1

OMG..!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 09:09 PM
2

It might just be what the options are.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 07:38 PM
3

One of the hardest things in my divorce process is being separated from my inlaws. I wasn't close with my own dad, I can see now that was my fault too, but my FIL was like an adoptive father to me for 16 years. When I was in town I used to come stay at my inlaws on my own, attended every Thanksgiving etc. Haven't had contact with my inlaws since "the talk" and not sure I ever will again. Same story with my wife's brother, my nephews etc. I'm no longer a part of that family and that's just it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 04:08 PM
6

I was reading how near 50% of newlyweds in 2024 didn't have sex on their wedding night.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:59 PM
9

As our wedding date approached, I remember thinking how our sex life has already been deteriorating. Should've listened to my gut!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:57 PM
11

Similar story here, the sex was mediocre to start-- a sign that there was no genuine burning desire from her side. I was the adorer, she was the adored-- a formula doomed to fail.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:56 PM
9

As our marriage became sexless, she stopped taking birth control claiming it messed with her weight. That also allowed her to draw a hard line on the "no sex" thing. Our divorce isn't even final and I retrieved a new birth control prescription from the mailbox. Well well well...
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:20 PM
2

I've read that if you already have a depressive personality (guilty as charged!) then journaling can actually steer you to ruminate, and potentially away from healing. I'm doing it anyway, there's a part of me that wants to remember what I went through. Wrote this short poem this week. I come into your room, now empty Like the room might hold an answer But the room lies silent Only the boards creak beneath my feet.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 12:19 PM
3

Would you really want to ask her any favor, even in an emergency? Pick a friend, family member if you have one, it's more about having a police or hospital being able to call someone. I had moved with my stbxw to the suburbs of a city I don't know and run into similar situations. At least there's Uber now, so I've been able to get around having my car in the shop etc.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 12:09 PM
8

Long list, but a key one for me was not being able to play my music at any volume. I'm also a rock guitar player, not pro level, but music and guitar were always my most important interests. She would complain and criticize my music and even my guitar playing, so I had to be very quiet or play without a guitar amp. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:59 AM
10

Hard realization that my marriage to "boss babe" allowed me to fall into my familiar childhood patterns of "tough love=love". Ashamed to admit that I allowed myself to be basically subjected to mental abuse, wasted the last decade in a loveless marriage, and further pathetic feelings about missing her at the same time. Also: I thought I knew what grief was. Having lost a parent, pets, friends, I thought I had been well versed in the doldrums of life. This process has been far worse. Can't wait t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 12:16 AM
3

I went through a similar situation as you, and it led to divorce. A few thoughts: first, women are generally attracted to "masculine" men, which often translates to the man making far more than they do. Second, for men sex leads to emotions but for women it's the emotions that lead to sex. If she hasn't allowed you two to be intimate for seven years, this is how long she hasn't had feelings or love in the relationship. Speaking from personal experience, seven sexless years is most likely too lon…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 07:40 PM
1

Met my stbxw when I was 30, she moved in just four months later. Married at 33, and there were already red flags I chose to ignore. Now divorcing at 46.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 02:57 PM
1

It sounds like you were a strong man who worked to provide for his homestead. A good spouse and partner should be supportive of her husband in his mission. I had the same bullshit thrown in my face by my STBXW, that I didn't "do my share around the house" etc. That's not love, that's a transaction. Here's to happier times and to women that support us in our mission.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 02:52 PM
7

The changes are gradual, but I bet if you compared your ex on your wedding day to how she was acting when you split up, it would be a world of difference. We hang on to images of the past, and to hope that things could go back to how they once were-- but most likely the person was drastically different at the time of the split. My ex said she loved me two weeks before she told me that she was divorcing me and leaving. I can see now that I loved the person I had first met 16 years ago. That perso…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 04:52 PM
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