Hello bros, thank you for your stories and encouragement. I've been lurking here since my STBXW of 13 years (and partner for 16 years) and I had "the talk" two months ago. I'm 46 and age is another daunting factor. At this time it's hard to see the upside in all of this, dark days, but with occasional glimmers of optimism. I'm trying to focus on things I can control, like becoming a better guitar player, and getting into shape. On the upside, losing weight has been fairly easy with all of this going on.

About two years ago, I moved with my STBXW from my hometown of Brooklyn NYC, to the suburbs of Philadelphia. We originally moved to be near her parents and sister; I only have a couple of friends in the area. Two months ago the STBXW told me she decided to move back to NYC on her own, and that I would need to buy her out of the house we owned together (and she wouldn't contest anything else financially). Now that I've written her a big check that came out of my retirement, I find myself owning this home but alone in an unfamiliar area and environment. Since I grew up in the city, I've done everything differently in the past--from shopping to dating. I also work remotely, which was mostly ok with another person in the house but now feels isolating.

As I continue going down my new single life path, my plan is to try to expand my friend circle (I'm thinking of joining up any local activities) and get to better know the area. I'm still relying on my GPS everywhere.

IMO there's no point for me in trying to date any time soon. First, I'll probably be too emotionally wrecked for awhile; second, without having my own friends or interests in the area, I'll likely be both uninteresting to a woman and possibly co-dependent on her. I'll give suburban living a year or so-- and might make the decision to put my stuff in storage, sell the house, and move back to the familiar surrounds of NYC. I feel both sad and angry that I moved to be near my STBXW's family, only to have her ditch me there. I've maintained zero contact with my former in-laws, even though we were close over 16 years. Losing my "adoptive family", as well as my pets, has also been hard.

Has anyone else found themselves "hijacked" to an unfamiliar area, only to find their marriage implode? Any other advice you'd recommend to someone in my situation?