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I-Bat880 Archive

View 3 posts and 26 comments by I-Bat880 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yes, I'm right there with you. I lost 1/2 of everything once, and I get to rebuild with her taking 10% of my pretax income. Marriage represents only risk, one that I'm going to take again. I'm all for finding a great life partner and LTR, but I'll never get legally married and have the state dictate what's in my childs best interest and punish the money making partner. No Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 03:36 PM
4

I totally agree. As a father with 50/50, my kids will never go without. But my ex made out with over 250K in liquid assets that she didn't have when she came into marriage, AND I get to pay her child support that is way over and beyond what my kids need. I'm struggling financially because my net worth was cut by over 50%, and now I have to support the person to decided to break up my family? She has a PhD and is a tenured track professor, she should be able to stand on her own two feet. The kids…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 02:36 PM
1

I’m going to negotiate either rotating who claims the kids annually or we each claim 1 every year. I’m in WI and will still have to pay CS with 50/50, not much I can do there. Stbx says she doesn’t want SS, nor do I think she’ll get it, she has a phd, works full time as a professor, and we’ve only been married 5 years, so relatively short term. Living in a community property state is brutal though, we have zero debt, but I have 5x her assets and not much I can do to get a “fairer” share of them
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 07:12 PM
1

I’m in WI. My attorney is confident that there will be no SS. My stbx also said she isn’t pursuing it, but that could change
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 02:20 PM
1

I agree, especially when I am the one that pays for everything at the moment. The goal is to separate, but given our marriage was short term, I’m willing to pay CS, but don’t think SS is something I can agree to. It would essentially mean I’m paying for 2 places and removes any incentive for her to expedite this process as she would be better off financially on the temp orders. This sucks
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 02:04 PM
1

I guess this confuses me, she has a phd, works full time, has income, but when we “normalize” income, it equates to me giving her a big chunk of money every month, it feels like I’m supposed to fund 2 homes with no help. I just want to financially separate asap to limit the bleeding
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 12:10 PM
1

It’s pissing me off, but my attorney advised me to keep paying for now until we can work out temp orders.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/21 10:55 PM
1

Wisconsin and 5 years
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/21 10:31 PM
3

Yeah I’m not planning on leaving, I’ll pay CS and we’ve only been married 5.5 years so SS isn’t likely. I just don’t feel like it’s fair to put a temp agreement in place that would crush me financially while she gets to not pay her way. Living together isn’t ideal, but I’m sick of being the only one that has to shell out money. She has a phd and could earn more, but she’s never had to worry about money
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/21 09:56 PM
1

I have mediation next week. What kind of curve balls did you see?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 03:45 AM
1

I appreciate the time you took to write out this thoughtful response. I’m confident in all of these points you listed. 1. I’m managed and compliant with meds and regular appointments 2. I can and would love to manage the kids. I’ve cared for them when they are sick, given meds, I make 95% of their meals, get them dressed, change diapers, etc. 3. Still living with the soon to be ex, but our home is safe and secure, will need to readdress after we separate and if I don’t keep the home 4. The wife …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/21 02:52 PM
1

No nothing major, we both battle depression and are on meds, I recently was diagnosed with adhd and started meds for that. Compliant with my meds and have regular MD appointments for med management as well as therapy appointments
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/21 01:36 AM
2

My wife is a great parent though, and she is saying that I drank too much and smoked weed (both of which I quit), and they didn’t impact my ability to be a parent. But now I’m a monster who was absent throughout my kids lives, which is a load of crap. I’m just not sure how to defend this stuff or to just offer to prove my sobriety and the fact that WI is a 50/50 state and I have the ability and desire to do everything she does, but that just wasn’t the roles in marriage that we’ve adopted over t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 09:20 PM
1

Yeah I appreciate this advice. It’s going to be a tough time sitting and getting made out to be a bad guy, but hopefully this guy will see through that
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 09:07 PM
1

Thanks, I am meeting with my lawyer this week to prep, but love the idea of reaching out to their office to get some additional information and/or resources
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 06:31 PM
1

No, it’s with a child psychologist to determine parenting plan
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 04:18 PM
1

I appreciate your replies, today has been a tough one for me, and this has given me a bit of a lift
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/21 07:28 PM
1

Our lawyers won’t be there either, but meeting up with him before to game plan.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/21 07:28 PM
1

I have an individual meeting with the mediator for an hour, then we scheduled two, 2 hour joint sessions. The goal is to agree on a parenting plan and temporary custody/placement. Not sure if we’ll get into the financials or not, but I know those like the back of my hand, she doesn’t have a clue. I know she’ll be wanting our house I bought, but she’s clueless about anything like lawn maintenance, snow removal, how to change an air filter, etc. not sure she’d be able to afford it if she had to re…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/21 06:26 PM
1

Thanks man, this helps me breathe easier. She is so jaded now and is saying I’ve never been there for my kids, a quick scroll through Facebook or any of our family pics will say otherwise. She is lucky to have summers off (teacher at a university) so she was able to do stuff with the kids while I worked. We pulled our kids out of daycare during COVID and there wasn’t a whole lot of family stuff to do in 2020, so I’m not buying her one sided story. I don’t know what kind of evidence she would hav…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/21 06:09 PM
3

This is helpful man, I appreciate you sharing
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 01:29 AM
2

Can you explain the 2 vs 1 for taxes? How many kids? Do you both have roughly the same retirement savings? For CS, are you just deducting daycare cost from the website calculation until they are in school, and then upping it to the website calculated amount? For agreed on home value, how are you calculating that? Are there any major upcoming expenses needed for the house (roof, HVAC). Are you locking in a school district to keep close to each other? What about right to first refusal for days whe…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 01:14 AM
1

Yeah I’m afraid she’ll use alcohol against me, even though we both drank our fair share. I quit 2 months ago, but who knows how it will look. That’s my main fear TBH
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 11:34 PM
1

Same man, I’m terrified. She is using drinking alcohol against me too… she was always drinking with me. I use to smoke weed, so now I’m a substance addict in her eyes. Quit booze and weed 2 months ago, before she filed, so who knows how this will all go.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 11:33 PM
3

I carry a recorder on me always now, documenting everything I do with the kids on my own, quit drinking and using thc 55 days ago. She already making me out to be some alcoholic and substance abuser, so I’m already seeing her evil side
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 11:30 PM
2

She works full time as an assistant professor and has her PhD. She is way underemployed as she hasn’t had to worry about money, I get to pay all the bills. In a lot of ways, my schedule is way more flexible than hers, and can do anything and everything she can do. Either way, the CS she’ll receive will be greater than her salary, total BS. She is requesting spousal support, but we’ve only been married 6 years, and she works, so hoping that isn’t on the table. My lawyer feels confident that the g…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 11:28 PM
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