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INFPneedshelp Archive

View 6 posts and 388 comments by INFPneedshelp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Seems like most headlines hate on women
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 02:05 PM
2

I'd date a man who continued to date men. Bi men rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 04:50 PM
2

We care about it because we remember being younger women preyed upon by older men. (No, not every age gap situ is predatory but many are).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 03:56 PM
1

We should see how other countries who offer significant paid time off manage that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:21 PM
1

Thank you for this sensible contribution. I used to live in Germany and parents were so much less stressed for the reasons you mention. I have definitely no desire to reproduce in the US. It's a hostile place to be a mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:19 PM
0

I think an allowance is a bit infantilizing as a concept. It's what we give children. A salary would mean earned money for labor performed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:16 PM
-1

Why do you think it's such a wild question?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:31 PM
21

No. It's the woman's body. No one has the right to endanger a woman's bodily integrity or life for their own survival/desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:36 PM
3

This sounds like a lot of extra work to coddle a man
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 03:50 PM
5

Frats in my uni (2000-2004) would "interview" women about their sex lives (like the guys would interview their female friends (e.g. me) who did not realize it would be laughed about with the whole frat. If that type of shit is not happening anymore, good!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 04:20 PM
3

Growing up I heard a lot of men/groups of men talking about what women are slutty and what they did with them (frats were the WORST), and I have heard zero women talking disparagingly about men being virgins? There was one male virgin in my friend group and people thought it was cool that he was waiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 03:20 PM
2

oh the irony
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:32 PM
–

"YES, I AM entitled to ANY of the women I want, period" Why, praytell, do you believe this???
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:09 PM
1

they dont like that women get to have casual sex if they want to. I think this is part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:54 PM
6

they're prob not into online pill boards tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 06:48 PM
12

Having a partner *is* a compromise. Multiple compromises, in fact. Social != romance and sex. Plenty of people thrive without it, even if they do desire it one day. But social bonds are generally important, but I do make space for committed recluses.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 06:02 PM
16

Maybe he means that life can be enjoyed single, and it can. Maybe someone wants a partner someday, and that's fine. But while you aren't with a partner, you can live your life without compromise and truly discover who you are independently, which is great!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 05:18 PM
2

in a perpetual state of needing help
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 04:56 PM
2

haha i made it once to ask for advice years ago and now i cant change it!!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 04:51 PM
1

I think some people (like myself) are attracted to counter culture. There's something very attractive to me about subverting norms. About having the courage to see what's seen as conventionally good/attractive in society and going the other way. And usually it's not putting too much effort into liking the opposite things you're supposed to like; it's just how you are naturally. Many people who are like this simply go for what's conventionally acceptable, but not everyone. I love that you are lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 04:15 PM
2

Young women yes, for the first time in history. But there's many more women in the country who have a much harder time than men, esp if they are mothers.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 03:39 PM
3

they have the upper hand in terms of sex perhaps, but not in terms of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 05:04 PM
1

When significant professional/financial sacrifices are made to maintain a relationship or raise kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 06:14 PM
8

Oh, this is so weird. Grow together. Be slackers together. Who cares.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 02:30 PM
1

That's fine if some ppl don't, but you apply that logic to all couples. Some ppl play with toys together or like to masturbate w them. No shame in that
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 02:53 AM
1

"When a man and woman partner up it’s expected that they will bring pleasure and intimacy to one another’s lives from this point forward with no need for additional tools or people. Your lives should complete one another and you should find pleasure with each other and each other only as the basis of your relationship from this day forward. " Who told you this?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 12:47 AM
1

Maybe a bit but no where near how badly women are shamed for their sexuality. And women's dress codes are shaming their sexuality far more than men's. Tehy are the ones who get in trouble for not complying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 06:12 PM
1

If you're going to treat me like an employee, you better be paying me good money.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 06:11 PM
11

Most older women I talk to about remarriage don't seem that keen, unless Prince Charming rolls around. Most older men I talk to about it can't imagine being happy without a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 06:07 PM
2

No, because usually you need an unknown variable to feel interest, such as another person. It does not matter how interesting your are if you cannot show it to a special one or share it." You made this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 04:18 PM
1

Often the defensiveness/proving is because of the many people like you who assume we live less superior lives. People who are coupled live the status quo so there is really no need to defend it. People don't question the idea of living as a couple. (They may question the pick of partner, but the state of coupledom they do not question). People over centuries often look as singles as if they are weird, to be pitied, lonely, living the "wrong" way, etc. So yeah, of course they feel defensive and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 04:16 PM
5

To clarify: you prefer a woman who is dependent on you? How dependent is too dependent?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 06:53 PM
1

that's not what it says
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 04:06 PM
16

So I'm a lady and looks matter
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 01:52 AM
1

"Both require extremely low effort (Johns are still required more effort tho, because they have to at least make the money to pay the hookers)" Please explain
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 09:53 PM
1

I did. It doesn't explain why john's efforts surpass the sex worker's.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 08:58 PM
1

What are you talking about then?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 07:32 PM
2

Being a sex worker is a lot of effort. Could you imagine dealing with and fucking dozens/hundreds of strange men?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 04:38 PM
0

I think it's good to read and be aware, but you don't have to keep reading it all the time if it's affecting your self esteem. Just don't do those things and tell your friends not to If they display creepy behavior. I am a white woman and it's important for me to hear what POC say about white ppl and white women, but I can also filter it and not drown myself in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 03:52 PM
0

Are you a woman who has dated men? Bc you seem to know little about it
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 03:48 PM
7

Im a woman. 20 yr olds do nothing for me
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 07:24 PM
12

What kind of wall was I supposed to hit at 30? Im in my 40s and doing just fine
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 07:02 PM
1

It wouldn't bother me at all
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 09:09 PM
3

I think many/most men would have a high body count if they could. So I find it hypocritical/sour grapes when these men judge women with high body counts harshly
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 03:19 PM
1

Ive had many more negative experiences than positive ones. So it's a double edged sword I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 02:13 PM
2

One grandma did; one didn't
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 12:10 PM
2

Whatever the couple decides.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 11:42 PM
2

Honestly gay men have it great because they can be highly sexual without the slut shaming. But honestly, being a highly sexual women does often involve men treating you badly and being subject to sex shaming and misogyny, which can hurt before you realize the men wielding that are insecure/jealous/bad men. (Edit: I should mention I came of age before #metoo; men were worse before then) Once you learn to find men who like sexual women and who are patient and kind, Yahtzee! But honestly I don't ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 03:15 PM
1

For me, I like a guy who can dress and style himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 11:39 AM
1

Personality is hugely important; decent men would say the same. As in, a hot asshole is not going to be a good partner. Looks don't override personality. (Of course some men date hot assholes and so do women, but look around you: most don't, or it doesn't last long, or they're deeply unhappy. And generally if someone is happy with an asshole, they too are an asshole and enjoy being that way together) It doesn't mean personality is enough to override looks either though. It can help, but at the e…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 03:13 PM
1

Im honestly interested at how OP says the women are oblivious about it... the logic is baffling.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 02:36 PM
0

Well I think physical attraction is understood as the first bar that needs to be cleared? Of course that can grow over time sometimes (and I think that is the same for m and w), but physical attraction is important for most people
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 02:08 PM
3

Yes I think they are fundamental for most women. But people have different tastes. I think men should invest in looking good if they want to attract someone (good clothing, good haircuts, styling help if it doesn't come naturally).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 11:40 AM
6

... why do you think we're oblivious? Why wouldn't looks matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 01:52 AM
5

Wow, do you really and truly believe your last sentence? It's nonsense
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 01:42 AM
13

I said it above: many men think not having power = feminine. They like women who don't talk back, challenge/correct them, have a good career, etc.It's messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 12:54 AM
7

no. As someone who says that (well, I say I like being single but would give it up for someone who adds to my life), that does not mean "provider". It means someone who adds in terms of fun times, good sex, great companion, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 12:51 AM
9

They don't like when women have power.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 12:45 AM
3

Oh and dont continue dating a woman who never offers to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 09:32 PM
7

You are the company you keep. I don't know any women like you describe. Down to earth women are out there. Expand your horizons.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 09:31 PM
1

That is a very attractive young man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:31 PM
1

I agree. Im a woman and i find men talking about the high value bla bla really sad
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:01 PM
2

Well, a bad one for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:13 AM
4

Oh, it's just a thing to have in common. Like I also like men with pets or who like animals, or who like to live near green spaces. And I like guys with close friendships. It doesn't have to be a ton.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 03:24 AM
-2

It is proper English. What don't you understand? Maybe a comma is needed after "much"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 03:09 AM
6

I value my friendships so much so id want someone who also does, and who nurtures his friendships
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 02:55 AM
1

If a man tries to change your behavior regularly, please take that as a red flag. There may be occasional moments where he might question something you do (like a few times a year?), but if he's constantly trying to mold you into something to his liking, this is a bad sign. And your dress is beautiful and perfectly reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 11:10 PM
1

(I'm a woman) Lots of things here point to an abusive relationship. He is very controlling. I feel bad for the new girlfriend. I would consider yourself lucky and work on building your self esteem. I have no read this book, but it may help you https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/224552. Hopefully the book will show you how you dodged a bullet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 11:07 PM
3

What you don't see are the 100s of interviews they did with regular women with regular responses. Observe your own surroundings, not youtube curated stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:58 PM
2

Why do you think men's only bad tendencies are crime? Oh, you think men's objectification and degradation of women should be a crime? Cool! You heard it here first, folks!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:57 PM
1

Sorry if someone downvoted you but it wasn't me. Any real women you know? Women with a little bit of fame (as in on tv/youtube) are not representative of real society.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:54 PM
2

yeah prob came from the manosphere
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:51 PM
2

You do call your father's bad tendencies "feminine". WhY if you aren't targeting women? And there's tons of lyrics about men's entitlement to women's bodies, and degrading and objectifying them. Not just crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:49 PM
1

It's subversive because the traditional narrative is that women cook and clean. Cardi is saying she doesn't cook or clean (ie not trad) and still got a man. She's subverting traditional gender roles. Ok so what are examples of these women who don't have jobs and don't take care of anything? Is this common in your age group? And you're saying these occur in both genders but (as in the case of your father) you are saying they are feminine tendencies?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:47 PM
3

Is this true everywhere? This sub seems to think it's never true. I personally have no idea
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:41 PM
2

I know zero women who give a shit about a six pack. They like healthy, decently groomed and fashionable though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:29 PM
7

And do you really want to discuss which gender uses more "problematic" lyrics ?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:27 PM
0

Cool, you've discovered what subversion means
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 10:22 PM
1

Your description of your dad does not sound like feminine behavior. Maybe he's acting entitled BECAUSE he's male? Acting superior because he's male? Women are known to do much more of the unpaid labor that keeps this world turning (housework, childcare, elder care). And they are more conscientious in school and at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 09:43 PM
9

i think people sometimes (dumbly) equate emotion with tears, and women cry more often. But men are more likely to kill/maim out of emotion, so if anyone is to be considered more emotional, well....
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 08:38 PM
1

What do you mean? You mean men wouldn't care? Which is probably true (ie they would fuck you regardless), but it doesn't negate that "attractive" vulvas portrayed in media (if portrayed at all) or porn is mostly hairless or has had the majority of hair removed. Even if men generally don't care (though I've heard plenty say they prefer removal of a lot of it), the societal messaging is still that feminine women have little to no body hair (maybe it's changing; I hope). It's especially hard for wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 08:23 PM
0

I think men here take biological explanations way too seriously. Societal forces are far stronger, IME. I find feminine-leaning men to be more sensitive and better to talk to. They also generally take more time and effort with their appearance. They are likely to be gentler and ask questions in bed instead of assuming. They are deeper intellectually usually.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 07:19 PM
5

You know, maybe you struggle because you are so caught up with this alpha/beta mentality and treat women as commodities. I can't imagine people who are so led by this type of thinking have good work ethic.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 04:18 PM
29

A man being single for a while isn't a deterrent. And no, a man eating out by himself is not an "ick". I'd be more concerned if a guy had no real friendships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 04:09 PM
4

Ask what she likes and do those things. It might not involve your dick at all
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:39 PM
2

Id say we're more content bc it's not as hard to get as it is for men, our orgasms are more elusive, it takes work to explain what we like, it can hurt/be uncomfortable, and our sex drive isn't as front and center as men's. It also takes a lot more prep (shaving etc). I do like it btw but there's a fair amount to dislike.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:32 PM
11

What *you* consider noble and honorable. Why can't you accept that others feel differently?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:42 AM
1

Oh I was referring to the sexism and low birth rates/marriage rates. Are you referring to the blurring of masculine feminine?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:09 AM
20

This sounds like a 'you' problem. Live your life with as many boundaries as you want! And most people have boundaries too; they just aren't the ones you want them to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:06 AM
1

I think they were dealing with it earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 12:37 AM
26

A lot (all?) of these things you consider facts are in fact your opinion and/or societal constructs, which change over time. People are still forming families, and people who want to pursue other things in life are less stigmatized, and I think that's a good thing. It is very possible to maintain integrity when forging one's own path in life. And it's very possible to have zero integrity while pursuing the path most people take (ie marry > family). It's a choice to wring your hands so much over …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 12:35 AM
–

hell yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 11:41 PM
1

They're younger too
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 03:16 PM
1

Ya. So I think when we talk about hypergamy, we're should mention mens reluctance as well bc it also plays into the disparity
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 03:12 PM
1

I see a lot of men unwilling to "date up", meaning they don't want a women with a "better" career than they have. If I wanted a partner, I wouldn't care how much he earned as long as he was smart with money (good credit, not siphoning from his parents indefinitely).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 12:41 PM
8

Being an older single woman can be a lovely existence. People tend to stop questioning your choices once you turn 40 and you can just be.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 05:21 PM
1

He'd have to pay me a good rate, and then sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 05:19 PM
1

Yes i meet them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 04:24 AM
2

I'd rather have strong friendships (some live-in) than be in a couple
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 10:38 PM
-2

Yup, tldr
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 08:58 PM
-5

Nah, you don't seem like a fun conversation partner. Ciao
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 05:22 PM
-4

"In heterosexual partnerships, emotional labor often falls to women, who are generally socialized to take on the emotional lives of others, said Arlie Russell Hochschild, professor emerita at University of California, Berkeley and the sociologist who coined the term “emotional labor” in 1983. Women often are conditioned to be nurturers and to put aside their own needs to tend to the needs of others, Hochschild said." NYTimes article. Also, the "define the relationship talk" in my experience has …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 03:54 PM
1

I think some people are great socially but it doesn't mean anything about their inner world. If you have true inner confidence, it will show through when you are your genuine self. If shyness is an issue, you can work on that as a skill set. Practice makes perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 03:44 PM
2

No. Paltry support for parents in three US
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 08:11 AM
3

Tldr but relationship maintenance is usually a woman thing, annoyingly
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 07:59 AM
1

Maybe
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 04:30 AM
3

If i am attracted to a guy I will probably still be attracted to him unless he says something really egregious. And I wouldn't like the first words out of his mouth to be to ask me on a date. Id rather a little bit of a convo first
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 01:52 PM
5

Im bisexual so I give a verdict: men are more maladjusted
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 03:43 AM
3

Well yeah, women are different and so are men! Id say woman 1 has a less common view, but she still exists and will state her opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 03:38 AM
2

I dunno, I think it's just the novelty aspect. Obviously women want to sleep with attractive men, but even if the long-term partner is (conventionally) attractive, the novelty is exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 04:30 PM
1

Slut shaming is still alive and well! *gestures around wildly* But it's power has diminished, that's for sure. Yay! "There needs to be intense shaming of simps (for lack of a better term)" <--- meh this isn't gonna fly bc if the simps are getting all the sex, I don't think they gonna care if a bunch of men are mad at them
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 04:22 PM
5

Do you also think history has no impact on the geopolitical struggles of today? I'm not going to engage further with you because there is no point.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:54 PM
2

Seems very different to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:52 PM
-1

Jeez, men have been able to earn well for centuries. Women are still *just* gaining equality in the workplace and there are still a lot of roadblocks that keep them earning less. Maybe consider historical sociological contexts before you say silly things like this?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:50 PM
1

Yes I read that men (generally) happily fuck the same women for a long time (even if they also want to fuck other women), but women lose interest in fucking the same man, but the libido returns when there's an option to fuck another person they're attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:47 PM
3

sorry what? I put a study down. There's plenty more if you just google.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:45 PM
1

oh! Huh that is interesting. Okay, well in the kink community "cuckolding" is when you find a man to have sex with your wife, usually while you watch. You find it very arousing to see another man sleep with your wife. Women can do this with their husbands as well (find a woman to sleep with the husband). In the past few years, many conservative men (it seems to me?) use "cuck" as a synonym for weak or as an insult to someone who seems submissive to his wife or girlfriend. https://www.urbandictio…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:43 PM
2

"Cuckholding" is a kink. Cucks in that sense have an adventurous sex life. So I don't know why people make them the butt of jokes. It doesn't compute in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:25 PM
1

the weather is absolute shit today so here i am
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:23 PM
0

Stunning misogyny there! Women do more volunteer work with those less fortunate and the elderly and children. They're care for aging parents more than sons do (and not because they're "predisposed" to it.) Are you saying that isn't valuable? Should women not bother? Men could easily pick up the slack it seems. They're just so capable. And the spreadsheet comment is very weird an uninformed; not much more to say there. I'll close by saying I don't think anyone should be called names for how they …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:22 PM
1

I wouldn't look down on either. Kinky or polyamorous people know what they like and get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:16 PM
3

And why would I change my last name?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:10 PM
5

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201510/is-marriage-worth-it-women just one example
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:09 PM
16

oh come on... the reverse has been proven time and time again
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:07 PM
-1

Remedy could be to actually get therapy? Most people benefit from a series of it. It can: Show how your past affects who you are Teach you what emotions mean and how to handle them Teach you how to communicate effectively Help you process current issues
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 10:46 PM
2

I def want to age in a golden girls type arrangement; not alone. Im def not the only one who thinks this. I look forward to life after 50.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 03:03 AM
1

Talk to ppl who work in nursing homes
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 03:02 AM
0

Not me. I only feel comfortable experimenting with people I feel safe with. Feeling safe (incl emotionally safe) is essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 03:00 PM
2

Separate. Lots of ppl have sex outside a relationship context. Some ppl do want sexless relationships or have them for many reasons. They often go together tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 01:02 PM
1

It's important you respect education but mostly I want you to be interesting to talk to. That doesn't require a ton of formal education
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 08:41 AM
1

well if you are honest about not wanting a relationship, they know that. I'm not going to say it will be smooth sailing -- sometimes one or the other catches feelings -- but it can also work. And you can sometimes push past the feelings. And yeah there may be a woman out there who also wants 1 FWB over random hookups. Most people would prefer that I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 12:13 AM
0

I mean, i wasn't scared off from him
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 11:24 PM
0

Nah my fwb wasn't scared off
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 11:24 PM
0

Both! Im non monogamous. But if I had to pick... id pick the one who hasnt had sex before for a change. Might be an interesting sexual dynamic to show him the ropes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 09:37 PM
2

Feeld is usually for more casual stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 09:34 PM
20

It's more difficult for a guy, but if you make a dating profile where you are honest about your intentions (you are not looking for a relationship) it can work. It may not be a seamless process bc life never is, but i have a lot of respect for men who are honest about what they want vs those who aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 09:34 PM
1

Yes and I'm Mediterranean so i have a lot to deal with. And stubble isn't sexy like it is on men :/
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 08:16 PM
3

Where do you live? Slaves are not paid for their labor. Slaves are literally forced to do their job and can't switch. A working father can change jobs, ask wife to work instead, etc. Many fathers control the finances too. It's not slavery but nice try. Women are human beings and not assets!!?! This GD place sometimes. (Do not warn me for saying that). The fall of gender roles gives women far more agency over their life outcomes than they used to have. Men may feel trapped by the traditional "gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 03:28 PM
2

You don't know it. Because you didn't write out the complete and correct history from the 30s/40s. Nah, im not pressed by random internet asshole. Why would I be?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:41 PM
9

Shave/ pluck/ wax, keep my weight low enough, dress somewhat femme Alpha Male influencers are usually repulsive to me
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 03:58 AM
2

Do you think of sex and physical intimacy as 2 separate things? Yes. Sex is physically intimate but so is cuddling, snuggling, kissing, etc. Has sex ever been a chore for you, or have you ever had "duty sex"? yes Have you ever felt like you're sacrificing anything during sex? If yes, what? Yes. While I like sex sometimes I have pain and sometimes it seems like a lot of effort (I orgasm solo more easily). I also think being penetrated is more physically intense (I dont mean more work) than penetr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 12:08 AM
2

you clearly do not know the history, so why bother responding?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:41 PM
1

No, I think men are generally more quick to anger than women, and more aggresive when angry. There are of course exceptions in either sex. No, our emotions are also very much for ourselves. To teach us what seems dangerous, what makes us sad and happy and content, etc. Not that it never has an interpersonal purpose, but it is first and foremost teaching *you* something about what's happening in front of you. It may be true that people are more likely to feel bad for a woman, but that's very much…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 10:46 PM
3

because I believe in its actual history and definition, not what white conservatives decided it means during the Trump years
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 10:40 PM
2

Um isn't that the having a job part? Isn't "providing" what many men consider "masculine"? If they are providing money, they are doing the masculine role, by your logic. One could argue the woman is providing also by bringing home the food. By my logic, none of these things are masculine or feminine. I consider masc/fem more as how you dress and present and act.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 10:34 PM
4

Im very very unapologetically woke, so no
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 06:30 PM
2

What is an example of simping? What is placing a boundary on a partner? As for women: I wish they'd feel less like they need to put sooo much effort into looking a certain way (heavy makeup regularly, cosmetic surgery, extreme diets). Feel less like they need to be the primary parent/housekeeper/elder carer because of their gender Not be mean/condescending to others who may live differently (unless they are harming others) Not be afraid/ inhibited to speak up when they feel something is unjust
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 06:16 PM
1

Our emotions are not about other ppls reactions (they can be for some)... it's about experiencing and processing the emotions. But it is not always a positive reaction from others. We are also perceived as weak, unstable and incapable if we shed tears. But doesn't testosterone mean you are more quick to anger?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 05:58 PM
1

I think a lot of women don't like stoicism because it doesn't seem like a good or sensible way to deal with emotion to many of us. I read a bit abt it and I was already into Buddhist thinking, which was a better fit
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 10:40 AM
7

I'm a lot older than you so Im not sure what a normal amount of snaps are, but if he's texting 30 other women a day I probably just wouldn't be with him? That's a lot! To me that's just too much time on the phone and I would be a lot less attracted to him. What I wouldn't do is try to *control* his behavior like he were a child. I wouldn't say "you should use these apps less". I'd take him at face value for who he is, I'd say "Look, your attachment to your phone is bothering me because I feel le…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 10:19 PM
6

Any whiff of racism, sexism, anti-LGBTQ+ will give me major icks
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 10:10 PM
15

This sounds like extreme insecurity on your part and controlling and I'd be telling your girlfriend "RUN, GIRL, THESE ARE THE REDDEST OF FLAGS!"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 10:08 PM
8

well child support is still important. Do you want her to be a stay-at-home mother? If she will also have a job, will you do 50/50 childcare and housework? Who will the child live with if you split up? They'll need to be able to afford a big enough home. If you expect her to give up her earnings/earning potential without any financial security via marriage, that's unfair to ask. Also, it is important to know that your child sees and internalizes how you treat their mother. If there comes a time …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 09:55 PM
0

Zero. I just would like an active person
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 03:36 AM
8

Ive paid into these systems for years! And every parent who has kids had them because they wanted them! Not to create future workers for society. Miss me with this xoxo
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 03:10 AM
2

Sooo... do you think gay people are abnormal and nonfunctioning?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 01:16 AM
1

They keep the decline less steep
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 01:01 AM
23

Im here from my 40s to tell you it's delightful to be unmarried without kids! Not this miserable hellscape conservative men like to tell you it will be
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 12:48 AM
10

Being mean to the man who blatantly slut shames women and calls them incompetent failures is a bully. This place is WILD
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 11:21 PM
5

What rules do you think women are breaking?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 11:17 PM
5

Because women are choosing to get off the apps and stop dating due to poor treatment? Fewer options for the men, then
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 11:11 PM
1

I mean rude in person. Acting like he's more into her than he is to get her to sleep with him, ghosts, etc. Not really reportable stuff. Lots of grey area
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 10:45 PM
2

A lot of the bad behavior isn't nec reportable behavior. But good point about leaving profiles up
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 10:34 PM
3

Yes ive had similar experience... i was trying to delve into the logic i see here that the attractive men are getting all the women
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 10:25 PM
4

Well i keep hearing here that the attractive men are getting all the women, hence the assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 10:24 PM
1

Yes! Anyone who at least said something (instead of ghosting) i consider very considerate. Usually along the lines of "I found someone else i want to date" or "this feels like it's evolving into more of a friendship" etc
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 09:58 PM
1

Why does it matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 09:04 PM
2

Defo!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 04:33 PM
1

Wise i suppose, but also a protectiveness, like bear hugs, and an ability to comfort
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 04:33 PM
2

Leftist women don't have the societal pressures right wing women do
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 12:09 PM
17

Single women tend to be more left
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 10:11 PM
1

"Ember surveyed 179 societies, she found only 13 in which women participated in hunting. But it is a mistake to conflate this pattern of “most hunters are men” among hunter-gatherers with the myth of Man the Hunter. That myth was born of assumptions, not careful empirical research."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 09:41 PM
1

That's not nothing and still there's so little known or probable. And The gathering provided a huge portion of their diet. Women provided
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 09:38 PM
1

Im just critiquing the OP's logic re capability. My critique still applies
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 01:30 PM
2

It doesn't because we both have pasts. If our relationship is satisfying now that's all that matters to me. Buddhist thinking
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 01:08 PM
9

By your logic u must also think maternity leave needs make women less capable
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 04:19 AM
1

Thanks for bringing in the scientific evidence
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 12:15 AM
3

https://ucalgary.ca/news/women-were-successful-big-game-hunters-challenging-beliefs-about-ancient-gender-roles women provided a lot!!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 07:11 PM
1

mostly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 03:41 AM
1

for sure!! but more to do with maturity for me than looks, but maybe somewhat looks as well. 25 and under look and seem like babies to me. Very unrelatable. (Tbf I'm 41 but even when I was in my 30s, 25 seemed too young maturity-wise.). I'm bisexual and would also prefer a 35 yr old woman too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 12:24 AM
4

I like older men who look good. And for me, I can think younger men are attractive but I also know they're likely going to be immature, or less mature than I like. Older men also tend to be better at sex (more experience!). I'm not attracted to the aging, necessarily, unless they're a silver fox. I love that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 11:49 PM
1

i have not but I lived in NYC for a while and YES
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:19 PM
–

Love of course exists! I love my family, friends and dog etc. I think the primacy of romantic love is diminishing, and that's a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 06:56 PM
9

It's 2023, you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 06:37 PM
1

Nothing is wrong with you. What is wrong is people insinuating there is something wrong with you. I (woman) am turned off by overt displays of masculinity and like gentle, sweet men. To each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 06:34 PM
1

you're funny
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 06:31 PM
1

Your optimism is endearing. Actually it's not because what are you going to do if your spouse loses libido or is too stressed from childbearing/rearing ?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 05:20 PM
1

I didn't say it wasn't. But if you're depending on sex to be the glue, well, real life doesn't always turn out that way
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 05:11 PM
1

nah, what I mean is society will be having more alternatives, with more ppl searching for alternative lifestyles. Friends moving on and making families might happen sure, but friends also get divorced/breakup and widowed all the time and don't want to live with a romantic partner anymore (i.e. "living apart together). And some may like the idea of a household of friends (or one friend) rather than living alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 05:10 PM
1

If they're having sex
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 04:48 PM
1

No, I mean living with friends or family members. There need to be options outside of romantic partner/nuclear family. Our personal lives will still be structured around people, but there will be options outside of the romantic couple form.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 04:19 PM
1

Yes I agree. But the idea that romantic relationships are what your life should be built around is actually a newer concept in the grand scheme of things: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/291184/marriage-a-history-by-stephanie-coontz/ And has humanity shifts further, I think we're seeing a slow move out of building life solely around romantic love. Not that people won't do that anymore; but other options will be viable and just as good. Right now it's hard to live without a romantic part…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 03:32 PM
1

Sure, but my point is, I think women feel comfortable expressing that kind of love towards friends and fam moreso than men do. I'll agree romantic love can't be 100% replaced by a friendship but I think our friendships can be extremely close, nurturing and loving
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 02:52 PM
13

a month and a half after childbirth seems bare minimum AND when you're not sleeping and tired of being touched when a baby is attached to your nipple half the time, i can imagine sex is not high on the list for a while
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 11:41 PM
15

there are going to be times when you're not having much sex, esp after wife gives birth, is breastfeeding etc, kids are tiny. People get sick and injured. Libidos fluctuate. What's going to take you thru those times?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 11:21 PM
1

I love it!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 05:39 PM
1

i think and hope upcoming generations will see less and less differences between men and woman and can form true partnerships. I think things are changing so fast (I'm 41, my mom grew up in a time when women either worked a professional OR were mothers) and my generation (elder millenial) and some genx were the first that had moms that could do both. And men weren't really shown how to catch up (do more shit around the house, be an equal parent). I'm hoping this Tate stuff is a phase and that yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 03:18 PM
1

If the side effects are similar to the female BC, I don't think men will take it for very long. Female BC has a LOT of side effects (though some women like the side effects) But I wonder if men will take it without telling their wife who is trying to conceive because they don't want any more kids. ?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 03:13 PM
41

"There seems to be a narrative among manosphereans that women are desperate for men but men have the option of being independent and autonomous and so women need to become better so that men will marry them." <-- This is wrong. Women are better at being independent I think because we can get emotional support elsewhere and men can't as easily due to it seeming unmasculine, which I think deeply hinders men. Women have passed down knowledge that men sometimes aren't dependable and that we should m…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 03:09 PM
4

Even going out to a bar or coffee shop! Man probably took 10-20 minutes to get ready for the day; woman maybe up to an hour or more? Plus the extra effort put into nails, hair color, brow maintenance, facial treatments, clothes shopping (not everyone does those things but it's time invested into appearance that straight men tend to not bother with)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 02:50 PM
1

Yes I have seen lesbians.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 02:42 PM
3

nah i dont mean dress like gay guys (necessarily). But knowing how to pick out good straight guy clothes is a skill many straight guys don't have. Jeans that flatter, sharp shoes/boots, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 03:57 AM
7

no, but Queer Eye tv show has some good tips, or ask a gay, well dressed friend (if you have one) to take you shopping. If you've got funds, offer to pay. It's worth it. You can go to one of those nice barbers too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:53 AM
9

that tee and jeans might be very well cut and flattering for their body type, with great shoes and hairstyle. But in any case, yes some people are natural beauties and some aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:51 AM
1

I think that guy is decent looking! He's confident, has a nice hair and beard style. Sure he's overweight but I don't equate overweight with unattractive. But anyway, you aren't making a point if you point out one or a handful of gay guys you don't think looks good. Gay men get the same societal pressure women do to look good. That's why they put in more effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:49 AM
5

yes, sometimes it's even just little things, like getting brows done, and not in an overly feminine way, just a lil shaping
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:22 AM
56

I'd guess effort. Look at gay guys. they put in a lot more effort into hair, flattering clothes, etc, and look more attractive, generally, than average straight guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:16 AM
4

SINGLE! Neither are worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 09:44 PM
3

Yeah i read it right. Of course it's hypocrisy, so that's why it's the response.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 09:29 PM
14

"Further more, why Is hypocrisy a common response to high body count men wanting low body count women for long term partners?" Yes it's misogynist hypocracy. I shouldn't have to explain that to you. I really don't think you're that dumb, but I've been surprised before.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 09:24 PM
22

"After seeing a photo of several of her age 20 and 30 something friends whom where all over weight and plainly unnatractive women,I can see why they struggle finding a man because the men they would be interested in would not reciprocate." <-- they're still real women, along with all the real women online etc. If someone has some fame I'd say they are less in touch with what real women are like, but generally we're all real, with different wants and desires? I'm confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 08:23 PM
4

I've seen studies that women need variety more than men do to keep their libido up. https://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/arid-30881753.html ​ "While men are content to have sex long term with the same person, she says it is women whose desire drops off from over familiarisation — the opposite of our cultural narrative."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 03:38 PM
1

When being single (as in unattached romantically; not celibate in my case) became a wonderful state of being.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 03:24 PM
0

To say it's settling is really focusing on the wrong marker of a good match for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 02:33 PM
3

I do not but I'm older and see past this type of uber masculine peacocking. So it might work for young women but as they get wiser it's prob going to seem weird
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 02:29 PM
1

It's not important to me! Both bc I want to sleep with other ppl on occasion and bc I don't want to be someone else's sole partnered sexual outlet
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 07:54 PM
1

Are you turned on by a woman mopping the floor?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 07:05 PM
16

Haha yeah and imagine seeing a woman struggling to pay her bills and being like "oh, look how feminine??"
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 05:41 PM
3

you mean the planning part? That's been 50/50 in my experience, though it is a great sign if they take into account where you live vs where they live
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 05:08 PM
25

As for men, yes maintaining a decently clean house, cooking well for me, being great and caring towards their parents (if they are good ppl) and being good with kids and pets is 🔥🔥🔥. But i don't think of this stuff as feminine. I think of it as being a kind and compassionate adult
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:55 PM
14

Nope. A woman being able to have a good livelihood is not "masculine". It's taking care of herself. Ask yourself why you think a woman should earn less to "be feminine". In the past their low/ no incomes meant they couldn't leave abusive relationships. It has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. It has to do with agency over your own life's outcomes. Any ladies here who read this: If you see men spouting this, RUN. They prefer you with your wings clipped.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:45 PM
9

Im a woman and I always appreciate when they let me pay. They usually insist on the first date but let me buy them a drink or something later. And then we often take turns.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 02:56 PM
1

My parents didn't really love each other. They didn't hate each other, but they didn't love each other either. They divorced once we were out of the house (dad's affair > marry new partner). So I never really saw marriage as a major goal of mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 09:29 PM
3

I love couples like this and it's much more feasbile in big cities where people can be who they want to be without reservation.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 09:23 PM
2

I think they don't try as much. Look at gay guys. A lot are attractive because they try really hard to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 08:27 PM
1

aww thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 06:04 PM
2

I'd probably stay single (I assume I'm not attracted to Don.) Of course I do not date the suspected murderer!?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:59 PM
1

I just think conventional modern marriage isn't something that many humans thrive in (many do but many dont), so things often work out unbalanced and poorly matched
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:32 PM
0

maybe for some people but not everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:30 PM
2

You understand how much women love cats, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 01:43 AM
1

Not sure what you are asking "surely" about, but I assumed we are in present time in which DNA tests exist. Same re kin instinct!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 01:42 AM
1

Well I propose using the framework we have now, but living differently. That said Id love a gov with better social welfare, fewer guns and normal news coverage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 01:40 AM
3

ok. Incels stick together and elder incels help the younger ones realize there is so much awesomeness to life outside of sex and women/men. They pursue their myriad interests and people move in and out of inceldom.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:39 PM
2

join me, my friend!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:37 PM
2

nope! there would be a murderous revolt.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:30 PM
1

societal stigma mostly, and I know that FF couples have trouble getting both parents' names on the birth certificate legally.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:23 PM
1

There are DNA tests. and being someone's "first choice for life" is getting less and less common. Humans will adapt. Anyway, I said those who want monog can have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:18 PM
0

if anything, we need older, happy incels (who have moved past the "pills") to guide the younger ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:14 PM
0

society and monog family life rn is not very stable
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:13 PM
8

Very, very different! We live communally in bigger buildings with friends and family with ample space and quiet areas, help raise each other's kids. No one sex in charge. Disagreements are voted on. Rules apply equally to all genders. It's generally polyamorous but people can be monog if they both choose. Not sure about incels. Changes in politics are no marriage. Care work (for children and elderly) and house work is done by all genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 05:10 PM
1

very well said
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 04:49 PM
3

As a woman, this sounds good to me though I dont know what 17% BF even looks like. Depends on the type of comedy tho
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 04:35 PM
3

are you not getting matches on the profile? Do you have a decently written profile?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 04:34 PM
2

🦆
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 04:30 PM
6

hey hey hey, let's be fair. men do this plenty
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:51 PM
1

I think friends (FF or MF; gay, bi or straight)) should have more kids together. That way there can be two parents. It's a shame that two men would have a much harder time with this but there's no way around that as yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:48 PM
2

You really never know. I speak from the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:37 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Sn7I9MoC-FQ
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:31 PM
-2

I mean, it could be both! I'm just saying why focus so hard on the low number when there's a risk there too!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:26 PM
3

Maybe it won't happen to you but there are a lot of trials and tribulations in middle age marriages!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:18 PM
2

I am a woman with a decently paid, very interesting job. There's something so sexy about a man who thinks that's awesome without reservation or insecurity. That to me is a sign of a truly confident man.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 02:11 PM
2

Well it works as in it's worlds better than not pulling out and it's a way a man can have some agency. But shouldn't be the only method.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 12:31 PM
1

Some would and some wouldn't
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 08:47 PM
0

Many do like it. But sports are really boring, except world cup can be ok
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 03:22 AM
6

(High value low value is fake!)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 04:30 AM
1

Refreshing to hear from a non slut shamer! 🙌
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 04:29 AM
7

It depends soooo much on genetics.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 03:09 AM
10

Wow, where do you live where unmarried at 30 is such an outlier?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 03:07 AM
1

im new so it's all new to me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 08:39 PM
1

Yeah i don't mind a father not wanting to be involved in a baby he didn't intend to conceive, but Gov needs to kick in sufficient support in that case. Do you know what countries paper abortions are legal in?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 07:30 PM
–

sorry what?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 06:56 PM
3

I've always thought of it as going out and getting to know each other. I find it very weird to say "we've been dating for five years". But I've gotten into misunderstandings with people about the word (they thought I was using it to mean something serious), so I know some people think I'm wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 06:22 PM
7

I think that's a mistake. What's going to turn heads initiatilly is looks/style. Your personality will keep us interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:58 PM
0

"The sexualization of women has little to do with "the patriarchy", or tradition, or Andrew Tate or whatever. It is largely caused by women expected to be valued for being pretty." <-- and that's part of the patriarchy?? Patriarchy dictates what roles women and men are supposed to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:56 PM
–

oh also if the child is ill or has disabilities, that is another huge wrench to throw into recovering
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:52 PM
–

Well dad can't help her own genetics and health problems/pain from pregnancy/childbirth (some can be chronic). Well he can help by taking on much of the parenting duties so she is free to get physical therapies etc
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:51 PM
–

Right, but a lot of what I put in the list also applies beyond year 1. And PPD could mean extra weight gain that might be harder to take off down the line
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:29 PM
–

And if there's shared custody? That's a lot of childfree days
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:20 PM
–

It is rare for a woman to have a flat, flat stomach even if she hasn't had kids! we're softer there for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:17 PM
–

A lot depends on whether she has a helpful/participating (ex)spouse or participating family members, genetics that predispose them to natural and effortless thinness and beauty, money to pay for sitters while they excercise, enough leisure time to exercise, optimum health after childbirth. Also post partum depression etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:16 PM
1

I couldn't word the question exactly as i would have liked. I even used the most scientific terms and the filters caught them. Hence confusion
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:01 PM
1

No. They should pull out right before orgasm. Every time, even if they may make a couple mistakes. If he pulls out 98 times out of 100, that's still worlds better than no attempt. This is not a replacement for other BC. But this is a way men can have more agency over pregnancy (besides vasectomy).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 04:59 PM
1

And your laughing is misplaced? Youre not making the point you think you're making.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 04:17 PM
1

The question isn't framed in a blaming way! It's curiosity re how mens minds work when it comes to preventing pregnancy. I can't get a woman pregnant so I don't know. My question was to get to the heart of a lot of bias I see here regarding blaming women for their situations and rarely pointing the finger at men's actions that contributed
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 04:16 PM
1

So i take it you never blame women for their unwanted pregnancies or fatherless children
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 03:58 PM
1

🙌
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 12:05 PM
1

I dont condone body shaming. I'm just wondering why he's so mad at the women because the men are also doing it. In fact, they're doing it first! The women are defending themselves, albeit agressively.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 02:52 AM
3

Wait so YLLaM get told they are mannish and then roast the people that tell them this? And they are the problem? Why are you so intent on pointing the finger at the women and not the men who are telling them YLLaM? I see how body shaming in any direction is bad. But why do you cape so hard for the men and not the women?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 02:24 AM
1

I don't mean to be biased. There is a lot of worry here about men having to pay child support for a child they don't want. Im saying, if you don't want a child, do everything within your power not to get semen in a vag!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:49 AM
1

Yeah that's really mean !!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:40 AM
2

Yessss!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 12:18 AM
3

hell yeah ✂
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 08:50 PM
1

safer choice!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 06:16 PM
7

I certainly am! I'm not saying use it as the only form of BC. But pullout PLUS another form is really good
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 06:14 PM
3

And I tried to write some other words for "inside a woman" and they got blocked!! I guess we can be more expressive in the comments, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 06:10 PM
5

It's not great on its own (better than some ppl think though! (https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/21/health/21cond.html), but coupled with the other BC methods it is pretty foolproof. Any man who would find himself apoplectic at the idea of child support should pull out every time. The actual load is MUCH more risky than the precum
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 06:07 PM
6

I'm (woman) totally okay with abortion so I'm ok being a little riskier, but if I had no control over whether an abortion would happen, I would NOT be coming inside someone EVER (unless by mistake)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 06:03 PM
1

I speak a few languages and I think I was muddling them. Sometimes you can add qualifiers on the end like that
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 06:01 PM
–

"What motivates the average male to get out of bed in the morning without a wife or children in an already decaying society?" https://petermcgraw.org/podcasts/solo/ There's growing content for solo living
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:50 PM
–

Young women's dating pools are bigger than younger men's. Older men's dating pools are bigger than older women's.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:48 PM
4

I get it too, but it makes the complaints about men having no rights when it comes to fathering an unwanted child ring a bit hollow.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:47 PM
7

It should read: "Do men who are very concerned..." But damn, if I were a non-native English speaker, you're being rude af
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:40 PM
5

Good! And if exclusive GF got pregnant, you'd be okay with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:34 PM
2

it really does!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:31 PM
5

Well, seeing that you aren't concerned with an unintended pregnancy, this question isn't for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:30 PM
11

Even with a condom, you can be doubly sure and not come inside. I find a lot of men here act like they have such little agency in an unintended pregnancy, and not coming inside really helps prevent it. https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/21/health/21cond.html
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:19 PM
1

It actually is, thanks for questioning it. I tried to write this a few ways but kept getting blocked.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 05:15 PM
2

A casual sex encounter usually results in an orgasm for a man. For a woman, that's, well, rarer. (Not that the man is nec bad, but there's often very specific things she needs and she's not always comfy enough to be 100% open about that). So there is less incentive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 04:31 PM
15

I also hope there's more golden girls housing. And golden boys. Id prefer daily female company over male
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 02:06 PM
47

Trp is growing while the amount of women disgusted by it is also growing. Also, singlehood is growing, both intentional and intentional. So I think it will result in a lot less coupling up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 02:04 PM
–

It's really not, and higher earning men are able to abuse as well
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 12:18 PM
5

Do you live in this world?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 03:12 AM
4

Most women would view it as I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 10:49 PM
5

High value because he's caring. Women like that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 10:47 PM
7

looks and style will attract me initially but warmth of personality will impress me most
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 10:46 PM
2

I feel like I'm in some sort of twilight zone where my comment is the bad one here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 09:16 PM
5

A man that would be a loving stepfather is a HVM. "Manosphere" men are LVM (From an elder, I beg you ppl to stop it with the "value" stuff. It's made up)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 08:53 PM
1

You seem nice
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 08:48 PM
11

My neighbor married a woman with 3 kids under 7 and helped raise them. They are divorced now but the kids (now grown) are crazy about him and visit him much more often than they visit her. I (woman) would love to be a stepparent. But if you would hold it against a woman that she has kids, do everyone a favor and stay far away. Stepparents can also be terrible to kids when they resent the kids
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 08:47 PM
1

Women means all women. If I want to say young, pretty women, I say young, pretty women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 07:03 PM
-2

Is it that men require self hatred for motivation or something? I doubt this is the case for all men
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 01:26 PM
11

It's too perfect
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 12:49 PM
1

Lol this is comedy gold, thank you, sir.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 12:48 PM
4

They already do, often. I think they will and I think men will be more willing to marry women that make more than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 05:04 AM
9

I think they tended to marry up because marriage used to be the only way they could access wealth or status. And men often don't want to marry *up* (i.e. a woman who earns more, has a more prestigious job. I've heard it said here that this makes a woman "masculine"), and people dont study that often. The finger is pointed squarely at the woman as not marrying down. And in many ways a woman marries *down* in terms of cleanliness, generosity, empathy, conscientiousness, willingness to be a 50/50 p…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 04:58 AM
1

Yeah I don't recall finding his standup amazing but his conversations with people are great.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 03:58 AM
0

Maybe it wasn't online where you were looking!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 11:18 PM
7

If you practice something you enjoy diligently, and have a good instructor, you will improve. You will likely never become Jack black or Bob Ross, let's say, but you will build confidence and be better at it than you were last year. You don't have to BECOME your role model in order to be inspired by them
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 10:11 PM
1

Ive only listened to a handful of his podcasts but he seems empathetic and vulnerable, which men need help w
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 09:29 PM
5

Marc Maron, Mark Manson, Cory Booker, Paul Gilmartin and the mental illness happy hour if you struggle with mental illness. He has great guests on, including male. Augusten Burroughs writes some pretty good books although I don't find they speak to me so much as a woman. Same w Mark Manson.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 07:35 PM
1

a lot of the decent ones are married but their wives aren't onscreen
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 06:11 PM
2

hahaha. Mine's been pretty reliable but I barely ever order. Which is also a good analogy for how I use apps today vs in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 03:55 PM
1

If your amazon order could disappear without a trace, this might be true?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 03:16 PM
1

1 when I was younger. But nah not my thing. I like a sweet, sensitive, teddy bear type. Looks-wise I don't have a pref as long as they are attractive to me. But a good conversationalist, sensitive, likes animals, and likes me for who I am, not what I can do for them or what I look like. (I want them to be attracted to me obv but if a guy critiques my appearance, no thanks. I don't need you.)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 02:47 PM
1

Was there a significant differential in power/age?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 02:30 PM
2

yep! I was 25 and was in a horribly abusive relationship with an older man who targeted me for my naivete. It affected me for life!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 02:29 PM
2

I don't have kids so that doesn't bother me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 04:14 AM
5

No i do not accept. I want to live way longer than 7 years
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 04:13 AM
8

Sigh. I heard it's not even true by the way. But, men, there is no way for you to know what it's like to be a female teenager preyed upon by a nearly 50 year old man. It's not great if genders are reversed either, but under a patriarchy, the teen/much older man situation leaves her much more vulnerable. Would you want your 19-year old daughter having a 48 year old boyfriend? If you would be angry about that, please ask yourself why it doesn't anger you if someone isn't your flesh-and-blood. Lear…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 02:42 AM
1

When I read what men (here) want in a woman and how little they refer to "fun to talk to, smart, funny, emotionally supportive" (and how much they refer to youth, beauty, body count etc), I believe it. If I wanted a life partner (im on the fence), I would understand that he will change (may lose hair, gain weight, become disabled or sick in some way) so him being a good and fun person is much more important to me than it seems for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 09:35 PM
7

But there are exceptions! I've met some lovely men who think crows feet are beautiful and find smart women who have accomplished a lot of things in life intoxicating. Dont let it get you down.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 09:23 PM
3

Yes generally (though I hate using the term "value" when it comes to people) but as I always say, anytime you are rejected by someone who would judge you for being older, that's a good thing. That's not someone who would treat you well in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 09:21 PM
1

Wait so there is a choice or not? I am happy with my life so I'd like to continue with it. I'm a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 09:19 PM
1

Many do but many do not and desperately want better social protections! Don't deny unchecked capitalism's role in where we are in this regard
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 07:56 PM
2

Then how do you rationalize the US now having pretty much the worst social support for mothers/parents (let alone health care) compared to its peer countries? Those countries run on nuclear families
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 06:39 PM
1

You dont find the dominance of the nuc family connected to capitalism???
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 06:03 PM
3

for what it's worth, I also dont think we should send 18 yr olds to die in a war
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 05:39 PM
1

I (41/f) dated a 40 year old at 25, which doesn't seem so bad, but I do see how easily it turned into a highly abusive situation because I was still finding my way in the world (I was a late bloomer and looked VERY young for my age) and he knew how to press on a lot of my insecurities and shrink my self esteem to pretty much zero. The age gap mattered. Now do I think every 25/40 age gap is a problem? No. But I definitely didn't know then what I know now and there's no way in hell I would have pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 05:37 PM
5

Unchecked capitalism does mean that there's little to no support to parents in comparison with many USA peer countries
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 05:25 PM
2

Sorry, which law do you mean? Marriage generally? Under the current circumstances I'd advise no one to sacrifice serious earning power without marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 04:01 AM
5

Def not coerced, but I see it as A's sacrificing their job and town/city (friends, nearby fam possibly) for B's career to keep the relationship going, and B sacrifices ... nothing? Doesn't seem fair. Marriage does protect the trailing spouse in this type of a situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 03:32 AM
5

What would be the point of such legislation? Would you support it?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 02:38 AM
21

I think he wants to run the show and wants someone to follow him. I would run
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 02:32 AM
3

If one person asks the other to move, say, across the country so they could double their salary, and in that area there are few jobs in the other's field, yes I do think they should be compensated. I would be happy to pay if it were me in that circumstance. If it is about doing care work for the job-haver's child or elderly parent, yes I also believe that should be compensated.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/23 12:52 AM
4

I think feminism mainly strives for a world in which women have equal opportunities (professional, financial etc) and representation as men. As far as marriage, i think it's a dumb institution with a poor track record. But i do think if someone sacrifices their earning power to maintain the relationship (like moving to where the partner finds a job) or to raise the children/care for elders, the partner should pay them well or supplement their lost wages or there should be recourse in case of sep…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 11:50 PM
5

Are you insinuating it is only women who "prefer" certain races over others?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 10:11 PM
2

I'm not sure bc I'm not a psychologist. But I think if you're literally incapable of liking someone outside of what they can do for you, it sounds psychopathic. You seem to view people in terms of their utility for you; you don't see them as people. I do not fundamentally like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 08:40 PM
1

I should also add: people who have faced some kind of adversity tend to be more interesting and often more gutsy and empathetic (and probably other qualities I cant think of right now). Growing up deaf in a hearing world gives you insight that most of us will never experience, and it shapes the way you view the world. It makes you unique, not just in your ability but in how you've experienced your life. See if you can shift your mindset from viewing it as a deficit to viewing it as a cool additi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 08:22 PM
2

Please don't listen to this guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 08:16 PM
2

Some people are unfortunately ableist, men and women both. I (woman) personally find sign fascinating (I'm learning thru youtube) and would not be put off by any sort of hearing aid or anything like that. I've heard it said if there's anything about you that is different, it will help you weed out people who are kind of jerky, low-empathy people to begin with. So that can be a bonus in that you won't be wasting your time figuring that out!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 08:14 PM
5

That sounds like psychopathy?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 07:02 PM
13

That is definitely not the main belief of feminism??
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 06:28 PM
5

bang maid brood mare! What else could she possibly want to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 04:44 PM
1

I always wondered why there's not more talk about men taking on far more of the housework during pregnancy and doing most of the childcare and household duties while mom heals. I think mom should gestate and give birth, and dad should be doing mostly everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 02:58 PM
1

Date a RealDoll
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 12:44 AM
2

I think BOTH matter, and I think society shapes us more in terms of gender differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 12:44 AM
1

*Sigh* Can we please get men some more decent role models
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:52 PM
3

He's 100% a misogynist, even he says so. Pathetic excuse for a human. He thinks women are his toys. He's exactly where he's supposed to be and I hope he's eaten alive by Romanian bedbugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:49 PM
1

Yes they do exist! Enjoy the hell out of your solo uncompromised life... he'll cross your path at some point!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:41 PM
9

I beg you to take societal factors into consideration when making inferences about human behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 07:15 PM
3

They don't want to be dependent on a man. Many would like a partner though. I don't need a man, thankfully, to live a good and amazing life. But I'd be happy to have one. Maybe the area and decade you live in thinks women can't be those things and also feminine (by your logic, would you say, for example, that Taylor Swift is masculine?), but where I live, that isn't the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 07:06 PM
2

I do not have a child, but my best friend, who is 43, super interesting and smart, with a 10 year old child, found an extremely sweet and cool divorced guy who doesn't want kids of his own but loves her son (they do not live together and she says it keeps it exciting). She is in a big city and we both had dating ups and downs, but she did NOT settle. This guy is great.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 06:23 PM
8

If you consider all of that masculine, that's your interpretation. You do realize that the traits you are considering "masculine" are the traits that help women be able to live well and work independently of men, and assert themselves vis-a-vis men (and anyone else who can take advantage). Which is essential to their livelihoods. It seems you would rather women be dependent on you. What do you think that says about you? Anyway, OP's point is "look at all these things men are judged for??? what b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 06:03 PM
3

Wrong, actually!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:54 PM
3

LOL??!!! Having needs or wants (total human thing) is a downside?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:54 PM
8

I'm not saying every man has all of these criteria; but these are things I've seen and heard men say are not attractive/not what they would have in an ideal spouse. It's frustrating for straight women that they can work their butt off to achieve things in their professional life, and then that is seen as unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:48 PM
2

I'm a woman!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:46 PM
7

(I'm a woman btw) Conventionally, men don't like larger/fat women, too-skinny women, conventionally unattractive women (to a FARRRR greater extent than men), loud women, women who are smarter than they are, women who earn a lot more than they do, women who have high-power/high travel/high workload jobs, assertive women, women who wear too much makeup, feminist women, older women, women who aren't deferential, women who have gray hair or short hair, women who have kids ​ Edited: also body hair an…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:25 PM
1

I and many of my friends really want a sensitive, teddy-bear type of guy who people describe as a real sweetheart. He should also care about how he looks and if he doesn't know how to dress or style himself, he can ask for help in stores. He should aim to have a nice place to live and have interesting hobbies. He's respectful and engaging with women, even those he's not attracted to in the slightest. I think getting over shyness is how sometimes the PUA type shit can help guys, but you can do th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 02:22 PM
7

Do you want to father a child with her? There's likely going to be a belly. If you want her to shrink down, you better do more than half of the childcare so she can rest and go to the gym. In any case, you better make this thing about yourself known to her early on so she can decide if you're worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 02:08 PM
3

"I mean , of course bias because everyone think they are better looking than anyone else" Uh what? Sooo many ppl hate how they look. I am prob older than you, but who is more conventionally attractive is not important. Are you attracted to each other? Do you respect one another and have fun together? Then don't ruin it by having dumb arguments over who is more conventionally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 01:36 AM
2

I don't get it either! I see a lot of women keeping their last name when married too but the kids get that father's the vast majority of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 12:56 AM
0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyeTJVU4wVo this is hilarious re what men think about makeup
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 12:12 AM
2

k you sound unhinged
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 07:13 PM
16

You're going about it the wrong way. Do what you love to do, work on improving yourself, go to therapy, exercise, develop good habits, take interesting classes and workshops, develop hobbies, and just live your life. See who you meet along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 07:00 PM
8

ahahahahahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 06:58 PM
2

I wouldn't decide to have the baby but if we lived together and raised the baby I might just consider myself in a polyamorous relationship at that point because everyone would treat us as together romantically anyway. But the baby would bond us more than the sex would. If we lived apart, Id consider myself single. My FWB actually fucks his exwife sometimes, with whom he has two kids. But they are not together. ​ I think you think sex is all that bonds people into a couple, but I think it's more …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 05:29 PM
3

Funnily enough I had a guy I was casually seeing treat me poorly in an ignoring way (I called him out on it) and he's like "What? I never cheated on you!" and I thought "We're not even in a relationship?" People have vastly different ideas of what is a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:58 PM
2

I do think that there's a range between single and not single, and yet we treat it as a binary
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:48 PM
3

Yes (OP here). I think the commitment is the thing. Also I think being socially coupled vs single is a thing. No one really knows about me and this guy except my closest firends, and no one would be inviting him along to a dinner party or wedding or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:47 PM
3

Single to me means not having a romantic relationship. You can be single and have sex. Not all single people don't have sex. Would a "bachelor" who sometimes has sex be considered coupled?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:40 PM
2

I am absolutely single! Having a sex partner does not mean having a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:37 PM
2

I think the less experience she has, the harder to please she will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 03:05 AM
7

I also have the best dog
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:52 AM
12

Im single, 41, and very happy. I have a great fwb, date sometimes, have lots of time to explore yoga, art, cooking, and I have loads of time for friends and fam. I have two close married female friends they both barely have sex even though they'd like to. They're not about to divorce their husbands but things are stale. My unmarried friends do seem happier, bf or not. I think there can be a pep to life when it's not all locked down. Even if single and married are just as happy as one another, it…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 02:52 AM
7

When my very loving dad left my mom (I was 20) for another woman, I also felt palpably less important to him. That was the biggest heartbreak of my life (in addition to him treating my mother poorly at the time). He was obviously all caught up in falling in love, but it taught me that falling in love can be kind of like being on drugs and losing sight of what's important to you. I will never let it do that to me. When I fall in love, yes, the earth moves under my feet, etc, but I always try to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 10:03 PM
2

If my partner had a gender preference for my masseuse, I would think he is insecure, which isn't attractive to me. I'd be questioning the relationship, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 08:16 PM
1

Can you offer him a place to stay if he leaves? Sometimes knowing you have a place to rest your head helps
/r/MensRights14/12/22 06:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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