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IceCreamMan1977 Archive

View 0 posts and 89 comments by IceCreamMan1977 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Additionally if you have Roth 401k funds, do everything you can to keep that. All taxes are already paid on those funds.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 03:58 AM
6

Then don’t kill yourself for your kids sake. Think of the example your suicide sets for them. I forget where I read this, but seem to recall the children of a parent who committed suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 04:04 AM
2

This is great.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 04:24 PM
1

Ok ChatGPT
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 05:31 PM
1

She’ll only get about 8.5 years of alimony if you were married 17 years. Maybe less depending on your state. There’s no such thing as living alimony anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 09:13 PM
2

Don’t pay it all as child support like she wants: If she remarried or moves in with a boyfriend, you are still on the hook for it all Where did you hear LIFETIME ALIMONY? For a 17 year marriage that’s not possible. She’ll likely get 1/2 of the marriage length so 8.5 years. But ask a lawyer Child support is tax free for her. Not sure about alimony (i think it’s now federally tax free but depends on the state for state tax). Neither of those are deductions for the husband paying it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 09:11 PM
5

It’s not going to be a 500k check. It’s going to be stock shares or, if he sold the shares, significantly less than $500k due to capital gains taxes taking a portion.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:07 PM
2

It doesn’t matter if they had sex or not. An affair still happened.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:41 AM
5

It does. Do you remember the troubles you had 5 years ago? 10 years ago? 15? No, you likely don’t. If you remember anything, it’s impressions.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 03:33 AM
3

That’s a circus. I’m guessing she is benefiting in some way from dragging it out - in my case, she benefited from maintenance (rent, food, legal bills, utilities, medical and auto insurance- all paid by marital assets). Look for the incentives she has to drag it out and end them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 02:27 AM
2

Pay her lawyer directly. Then you know it’s being used to pay for the lawyer and nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 07:07 AM
3

Great great response.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 06:05 AM
6

She didn’t just find texts. She went next level.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 06:03 AM
8

there is always someone who has it worse than you. This is beautiful and very stoic. Also: you get another chance. You’re still alive and you are here
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 01:30 AM
8

Not answering your questions, but how is it you are still not divorced after 5 years of separation?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:33 PM
6

Talk to at least 6 lawyers before deciding. Some have free consultations, others charge a small fee. Pay the fees. Talk to friends and family. Who did they use and were they satisfied? Ask the lawyers themselves how they would choose a lawyer for their own divorce. Interview them like it’s a job you are hiring for.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:08 AM
3

Your son, age 35: “Dad, why did you move away when I was in high school?” You: “For money”
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 03:07 PM
2

This guy is right. Do it another 4 years till he’s out of high school. Colorado is unlikely to change 50/50 after 10 years and only 4 to go (more likely 3 by the time you get in front of a judge). Whatever evidence you supply, she will deny and then it’s gets word against word. Fight the good fight. Stay there to be that good influence on your son. Be his model. Maybe be doesn’t understand why the rules are different at your house, but one day he will. He will remember. Your model will last a li…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 01:37 PM
4

She behaved like a child. No financial responsibility, no chores, and even calls her parents to rescue her from uncomfortable situations like arguments with her spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 07:41 PM
3

Several years ago my ex gave me a ton of flack for getting our kid a haircut. I hadn’t gotten it cut at the “right” barber. So that was the last time I ever got it cut. She pays that expense now. Fine with me. This won’t go to court. She’ll be laughed out by the staff.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 02:03 PM
6

Sounds like you raised an emotionally intelligent child to an adult. Great job!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 01:16 AM
5

I had my first and only child at 48. What are you waiting for?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 01:15 AM
3

15 minutes away is nothing especially if you have them 50/50. Man, did your lawyer fuck up. Didn’t you read the agreement before you signed it?
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 03:09 AM
5

Her demands are not in the best interest of the children. Memorize that and repeat ad naseum .
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 10:42 PM
0

It doesn’t sound like you can move forward without a lawyer. That’s a tragedy because you’ll be paying for both yours AND hers. That’s something like $800-900/hour depending on the lawyers each of you hire. I’m sorry. This happened to me also.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 11:20 PM
2

California has lifetime alimony? I didn’t even know that was possible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:35 PM
-1

You can’t make anyone get a job.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:34 PM
1

Yeah I guess it is a control issue. I have to learn to stop asking her about shared parenting responsibilities. Do it once and leave it. Easier said than done….
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 05:38 PM
4

I have similar difficulty. For instance, our 7-year old is still not enrolled in any summer camps this summer because ex-wife won’t communicate with me about it. I put together two or three schedules for the entire summer, with costs and dates, and no reply. I’ve sent it several times over the months. Nothing. Last time I saw her in-person I asked about summer camp and she said, “oh yeah I’ll get back to you”. At this point I’m not sure how I’ll work with a child home all summer, but I’ve learne…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 02:49 AM
2

She has different values than you. Sports come before family for her. Fuck that but there are plenty of people with those values. Some choose work over family. Same shit. If it’s her parenting weekend, there doesn’t seem much you can do except try to bribe her with something she wants (more parenting days on several of your weekends? Be creative).
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 03:28 AM
5

I read this today and it reminds me of what you wrote: “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 06:49 AM
1

Read with her the book “8 Dates” by John Gottman and his wife. Do the dates. Afterwards, you’ll know if the marriage is salvageable or not. She has to read the book with you. It’s not for one half of the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 03:48 AM
12

"Man up" doesn't allow for the processing of emotions, of the trauma of divorce. If you don't process those emotions, they're not going away, even if you ignore them. Yeah, we should never get "stuck" in life because of trauma. But everyone needs their own time and way to process it. Man up, to me, means "suck it up" and move on without any time to heal properly. OP is right that every ending is a new beginning. But he doesn't allow for processing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 05:24 PM
12

For the record, I’m a man. A divorced man. OP has the emotional intelligence of a mosquito. The message is good (move on with your life with the key word “EVENTUALLY” missing) but the delivery is awful. I can’t imagine having a friend, employer, therapist, or clergyman who speaks to me this way.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 04:43 PM
7

Don’t read her texts. Makes it worse for you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 12:36 PM
1

These are old old patterns ingrained into you. It may take years for them to change, like it took years to develop.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 10:58 PM
2

“I don’t need someone telling me what I’m doing wrong for $175/hour” — my ex-wife’s reason to stop going to marriage counseling (note: i was paying that $175/hour because she did not work)
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 04:24 PM
0

Who cleaned the cat litter boxes?
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 04:20 PM
5

Once kids are in school, child care responsibilities are reduced. These 3 categories aren’t equal time and energy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 04:15 PM
3

Comment saved thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:49 AM
2

Lump sum : Just be aware that if she remarries, you don’t get your money back. If you pay her monthly , however, the alimony stops when she remarries. I made the right choice for me, but lucked out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 01:32 AM
7

The book is called “Models”? Can you be more specific about the books to read? Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 12:57 AM
15

I hate to say it, but she’s right. If she wants to streak naked down 5th Avenue in NYC, it’s not relevant to you. You have no say. Let go.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 09:38 PM
2

I understand. I gave you my experience so you can see that yours is not what must be. Be happy she dropped you. This one is overworked. And that is probably why she really dropped you. She has too many cases.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 03:39 PM
2

I had a different experience. My attorney and her assistant were available anytime I wanted, with some notice to setup the meeting. Occasionally she couldn’t meet with me for a week because she was in court during all of her working hours or she was on vacation. Occasionally. I only met in person once or twice. I preferred phone, video calls, and email. But she would have met me in person if that’s what I wanted. She also encouraged me to meet with her assistant as much as possible because her a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 09:20 PM
1

Sounds like a real gem. Why did you divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:34 AM
4

Disgusting
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:33 AM
1

I’d like to know: How a dishwasher damages the blades any more than hand washing with detergent and high heat What kind of expensive knives you buy and maintain that can’t afford to be damaged by a dishwasher? Short of family heirlooms that aren’t used regularly anyway, I can’t fathom. IKEA and the dollar stores sells excellent knives that are dirt-cheap.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:33 AM
2

You’re missing the obvious point: be easy to live with. Minimize criticism. If you have a particular method for washing or cleaning, that’s your method. Even if you think it’s superior to mine: I lived without you and your method and survived anyway. It’ll be ok with any method. LET GO. Be easy to live with. Stop demanding others change to be more like you. I have to say that you sound like a woman lurking in this subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:13 PM
2

You’re missing the obvious point: be easy to live with. Minimize criticism. If you have a particular method for washing or cleaning, that’s your method. Even if you think it’s superior to mine: I lived without you and your method and survived anyway. It’ll be ok with any method. LET GO. Be easy to live with. Stop demanding others change to be more like you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:12 PM
12

1st wife: Knives must been pointed up in the dishwasher so they get cleaner 2nd wife: knives must be pointed down in the dishwasher so they don’t poke you when you take them out Me, now: knives go in whatever fucking direction they go in. Who gives a crap?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 05:19 PM
6

You need a divorce lawyer to advise you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 07:24 PM
9

Her share of the house is now considered marital property in most/all states, even if the title is in her name alone. The same with financial assets like bank accounts in only one spouse’s name. She would have had to have gone thru extensive hoops to prevent this; like the house being owned by a trust.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 07:21 PM
3

Also a therapist cannot diagnose anyone without talking to them personally. So OP’s therapist diagnosing OP with narcissism without ever seeing or talking to him is ridiculous. No therapist works ever do that (like medical doctors not diagnosing without seeing patient first).
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 05:50 AM
2

I did this, too, on the advice of lawyers. It’s great.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 01:51 AM
5

YES
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 10:06 PM
2

This. Kids need both parents, even if just some of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 06:55 PM
7

You missed the part where she said he was mocking him. That means he did not actually believe he should be rewarded.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 06:54 PM
1

Thanks for this. Never heard of it before and didn’t know such books existed
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:17 AM
3

I’m convinced there’d be a lot fewer marriages and their inevitable divorce if prostitution was still legal like it was in the 1800s Wild West.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:06 AM
4

The “hear about it later” drove me to stupidity. Every year Valentine’s Day had to be better than the last. At the final one, I spent hours decorating the house, designing and buying custom cakes, buying and wrapping gifts, cooking. One year she found out I bought the decorations at the Dollar Store (because glitter and streamers and balloons and the goofy hats and horns all get thrown out 1 hour after the celebration). She freaked out. Now Valentine’s Day is nothing but relief. Don’t even ask w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:51 AM
8

External beauty fades. Refusing a long-term relationship with someone less externally beautiful than your ex-wife says to me you aren’t looking for anything different than before. I’ve made this mistake. Beauty fades and what’s there besides beauty is what makes or breaks long term relationships. Beauty has nothing to do with long term relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:21 AM
16

Have your teenage boys get them (with your money). Teach them the value of respecting and loving their mother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 02:51 AM
6

Today I Capitalize All Words. It’s The Sign Of A Better Man 👨 Just joking. Good luck with your practice. Remember to teach your clients they are not victims. Positivity Bias by Rabbi Mendel Kalmenson.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 02:13 AM
1

Look up “parenting schedules” or “custody schedules” for ideas. 7-7 (week on week off) 5-2-2-5. This is what I have. Also called 2-2-5-5. 3-4-4-3 2-2-3 14-14 (two weeks on, two weeks off) etc
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 07:13 PM
1

What a horror show. Respect.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 02:54 PM
3

Wear a body cam around her so she can’t falsely accuse. $150 on Amazon
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:47 PM
2

You are a different person every day. With or without divorce. We’re always changing, my friend. Do you remember who you were 5 years ago? 10? It’s not who you are now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 04:40 AM
2

Was with you until the “come back” part
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 04:39 AM
3

Friend of mine said the best thing you can say to someone getting divorced is “congratulations” rather than “I’m sorry”
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 04:38 AM
3

Incredible. Why did you divorce then?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:05 PM
6

Your hard-earned money may not go to the kids. She might meet someone new and spend it on him. Fight fight fight.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:51 AM
2

Mine went to the two appointments then said, “I’m not going to pay someone $175/hour so he can tell me what I’m doing wrong”
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 05:04 AM
3

Rule from John Gottman: never bring up complaints about things that happened more than 30 days ago
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 05:02 AM
13

Don’t ask questions whose answers will affect your mental health. Sometimes knowing less is better for you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 04:58 AM
5

If you earned more than $100,526 in 2024, tax rates are the same for head of household and single filers.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 01:30 PM
10

Unfortunately, no one cares. That’s what I learned from this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 01:27 PM
1

Not all military personnel deploy. Some stay local.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 03:12 PM
2

Yes - your son may or may not have it difficult in a divorced family - but will it be worse for him than it is now?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 03:08 PM
1

Remember that your kids will be better off not being raised in a marriage like this. They shouldn’t see this as a model of a good relationship. You’re doing the right thing for their development.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:58 AM
1

Body cam. $150 on Amazon. Records to SD card in an infinite loop
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:56 AM
2

Body cams are way cheaper. And obvious so she won’t pull any lies.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:55 AM
6

No job no license. Sounds like a third child.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:49 AM
11

It all changes. Everything changes. In 5 years, you won’t care about much of this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 02:11 AM
5

The person you marry is the single most important contribution to your joy or suffering.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 11:22 PM
2

Tell your boss in privacy and stick to the facts. Don’t get emotional, keep it all business. Then tell your wife that if she ruins your opportunity to become a doctor, child support and alimony will be significantly LESS because you won’t be earning as much.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 03:40 AM
0

I’m not here to convince you otherwise, but I know one women for whom this isn’t true. Her husband of 30+ years was caught with porn several times. It made her feel unwanted and seriously affected her self-esteem. Right or wrong, that doesn’t match your narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 08:37 PM
3

You might accidentally trigger a higher payment because your salary increased since 2017. Only way to know is to use the states calculator. You’ll have to guess at her income (or imputed income if she’s unemployed).
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 11:05 PM
-14

I don’t know any coffee shops open after 6 pm
/r/seduction30/01/24 04:00 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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