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IcyEntertainment8673 Archive

View 0 posts and 207 comments by IcyEntertainment8673 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

The system has a standardized way of handling divorces. Lawyers help tailor to defend your interests. So… yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 07:59 PM
0

Perhaps state dependent; but it’s a pretty straight forward calculator here.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 07:58 PM
-1

(Female here to help) I would open up college savings plans, life insurances and minor accounts for each child. Then add recurring expenses like gym memberships/sports, academic tutoring programs, etc. for your kids. When the child support calculator comes up, all of these expenses will help reduce what you’ll owe. You can even buy gift cards to a clothing store and have them show up on a bank feed, write this off as clothing expense for the kids. Save the gift cards when you need them. College …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 04:47 PM
8

OP, I don’t know your wife, but I know women. She has a bigger support network than you do. Be it her family, friends or the internet community. She’ll be advised left and right on how to get more than what yall will settle on. Before you know it, there will be a lawyer who will catch you off guard. Get agreements in writing and NOTARIZED. Have meetings in mediation and pre-recorded. For the sake of everything, do not move out. Best of luck. (~ female lurker)
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:07 AM
2

Do NOT move out. You may be surprised when she gets a lawyer “out of nowhere”. This can and will be used against you. sincerely, a woman who strongly suggests your wife will end up using a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:02 AM
1

This comment cracked me up!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 02:37 AM
7

Honestly. The biggest warning sign is whenever she stops nagging or pushing you to be better. That means she no longer cares. This is where many get blindsided. They think “everything’s going great”. In reality, she mentally checked out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:34 PM
1

What about a babysitter for two weekends, a month? Hire a college kid to come deep clean the house on a Sunday. Eliminate some of her excuses and see what she comes up with when the house is clean and the kids are gone.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:09 AM
1

I know I know, don’t ban me. I come for the men like OP who are seeking advice. This is truly the best comment and closest to what I could vouche would work. Sincerely, A female lurker concerned for OP (My two cents is that this is biblical. It quite literally states that a man should not be deprived and a woman should also reproduce. Neither partner should deprive the other. Don’t know if you’re religious OP, but even God didn’t want celibate married men.)
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:07 AM
6

Agreed. Cut yourself some slack and take it slower next go around. Set clear boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 02:00 AM
6

Because they were so worried about the finances, they didn’t catch I got 90% of custody
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 04:04 AM
1

Start off with (I’m a female) and you wife’s mental state sounds odd. Hear me out before Im downvoted for commenting on this sub. Legitimately OP, your wife sounds deranged. How old is she? This could be (peri)menopause related. Clinical depression expresses itself in a multitude of ways. I’m not saying this to justify her actions, I’m saying it to protect your kids. You should take quick measures to file and document EVERYTHING. Find liquor receipts and bank statements that are on “her” account…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 02:07 PM
1

On extracurriculars— good luck! In my experience, I was told they’re extra and aren’t a “legitimate” child expense.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 01:57 PM
2

You’re overlooking that the second you split, for real, the rules go out the window. You have no control over what occurs on their parenting time— vice versa. You also can’t control their dating life. The kids can be introduced during their parenting time without you ever knowing. You’re no longer a unit, and these terms strike me as the divorce hasn’t really hit yet. A judge will honor what you both agree to but also they’re looking out for the kids. You may state that everything is 50/50, if y…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 01:54 PM
2

Reading this on the toilet, I literally thought “is my crap my self worth?” Hahaha! For anyone else who reads this on the throne.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 02:39 PM
7

“You are enough”….. WHAT THE F!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 06:05 AM
2

It’s honestly been a gift in my relationship. Ends any argument before it begins and we’re both on the same page. Just give a little grace at the beginning… takes a second for both of you to get used to implementing it day to day. I added bills and reminders to it. Life is easier
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:48 PM
3

Implore a Google calendar that is shared. Take the time to input your kids time. Let her know strictly that kids time is only open for kids related activities. Exceptions are big events where kids are not allowed. You can do the same with a physical calendar. It’s just, an app is easier to whip out in the middle of an argument or to quickly view. Whenever an idea comes up, ask “did you see the calendar?”
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:33 PM
12

Trust your gut. If she isn’t respecting it now, she won’t respect it later.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:31 PM
1

When I read the decree "... so as if the marriage did not occur [exist]." It hits me in the gut. I wish it could be wiped clean from memory and time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:42 AM
4

Very true on the child front. But you know what's on the other side of 40's? Perimenopause.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:34 AM
1

My kid never experienced the dual household. We split early in the pregnancy! Even so, she said "I come and Daddy & Mommy not together anymore." She blames herself at 4 years old.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:31 AM
3

In this era: My last therapist accidentally sent me a ChatGPT prompt, copy/paste'd my message with "Reply in a therapeutic way showing genuine sincerity.".
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:28 AM
2

Another scenario: My mom should've left after discovering infidelity. My father should've addressed the dead-bedroom issue, before he felt pushed to adultery. They didn't stay for the kids, they stayed due to culture/society (divorce-stigma). I agree, that staying in an unhappy marriage wrecks havoc. I wish I had just happy parents.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:24 AM
3

(You’re unlikely to get it back, unless you negotiate it in court.) It’s legally hers in most states. Kinda depends on much financially speaking, your willing to fight for it back. She may have already thrown it away.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 04:06 AM
2

Therapy worked to teach us how to communicate efficiently. We’re better co-parents for it. We went to therapy way too late. Divorce was inevitable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:37 PM
2

Absolutely on the nail. She’s so mentally checked out, that the only reason she’s still married is bc the other man hasn’t committed. (Or isn’t able to provide what OP can, currently.) c’mon, you really think if he was richer, sexier, has more time and spoiled her more… she’d still be around? Bonus points if he was willing to invest in a home for them and pay her bills. OP is providing something the other is not. But I can assure you, it’s not for love.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:18 PM
2

Andropause? (For men) and menopause have wrecked havoc on my parents. Just saying that HRT has saved their marriage. They were on the brink of divorce as well. My mom started menopause at 48, believe or not, at 56 she’s still in the trenches. That’s right, still there! However, HRT brought a huge piece of her old self back. Don’t quit on your marriage until she gets some medical help. It may not fix everything but atleast you’ll get clarity on what’s really her and what’s the menopause.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 04:32 AM
13

She’s not a child. Kick her out or move out. This isn’t good for your sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 03:57 AM
2

Want to reemphasize that it is about the law and numbers. Honestly, my grandparents decided it was better not to get legally divorced. They just agreed to split and hired lawyers so that when they pass everything goes to their beneficiary-of choice. It’s not that I recommend that… but they remained amicable and no one lost anything.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 06:22 PM
14

You’re on the wrong sub, this is full of men who’ve been deeply hurt by women. They’d hardly take a nice woman seriously, due to severe trust issues. Many of those issues and feelings well deserved. Go to the single mom groups. Ask there. And yes, you are date-able. But it won’t be with a recently divorced single dad.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:15 PM
11

You need to get the dates sorted out and divorce on file, pronto! Atleast in my state, if the child is born in a marriage the husband is liable, unless the baby daddy signs the birth certificate. Get an attorney!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 01:51 PM
4

It’s better to leave it alone. 50% of marriages end in divorce, the rate shoots up to 70% for second/third marriages. So statistically speaking, he may not even stick around. Focus less on her and more on your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 01:52 PM
2

This is actually solid. If it serves as motivation, why not be a better dad?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 01:48 PM
1

That or investing in a 529 plan for the child. It could actually help reduce the amount of child support if a modification is sought after. Bonus points if you cover the cost a child’s life insurance policy. It’ll reduce how much “income” you have and go towards child expenses. Only other way is to purchase assets and co-sign them so you can claim they’re not “yours”.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:50 PM
1

As the ex, just letting y’all know…. The DFCS lets us know when you’ve found a new employer. Also, they will notify your employer how much child support is owed or whether the child is supposed to be on your health insurance plan. They will enforce it based on the employer attached to your social security. When taxes come, if you’re in arrears, DFCS will notify the IRS. We’ll get a letter from IRS notifying us your refund was garnished and that a check will be mailed. So while you could work man…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:47 PM
3

You can settle on an amount, if you’re still in the process of divorce. (GA)
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:42 PM
5

It’s like when homeless people have a phone….. they’re poor not incompetent
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:28 PM
1

If funds aren’t the problem, then strategy is. You need to make it apparent that you’re looking out for your kids and not your interests, if you want to persuade the judge in your favor.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 10:10 PM
0

It really is state-specific and even then, depends on the grit of the lawyer and the character of the judge that day. I’ve been following this subreddit for almost 4 years and have witnessed the pouring of divorced men getting rammed by the court. Don’t give OP false hope just bc it’s 2025. The system is still skewed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 10:09 PM
0

Reading this as a woman, hit hard. Your comment resonated the most that I had to chime in. OP is most definitely screwed. Depending on the state, he’d be LUCKY if he gets 50/50 asset split, unsupervised traditional visitation and no alimony. Best case scenario, he sells the house, gets 50/50 custody and settles on a reduced child support amount. A judge isn’t going to care about the financial hard lines in the sand, what they’ll see is a man who wants to kick out a mother and her kids. Super har…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 03:25 PM
2

Hit the nail on the head… not everyone is going to be your cup of tea. Focus on the ones who could be and let the rest weed themselves out.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 03:27 AM
1

THIS. Chiming in to say that the DFCS office literally advised me that I could get my ex to pay child support for a kid that wasn’t his if I was still legally married. Whether or not it’s his.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 02:13 PM
1

As a Latina, I approve this message. Bursted out laughing! My boyfriend would agree.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 11:49 AM
11

What did your wife expect after 10 years in a sexless marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 02:37 AM
2

What happens in marriage? Is you focus so much on staying together and making it work when things are going south that you completely lose sight of who you are and what you like to do. It’s important to recognize that even though you’re no longer the family man, you idealized that you can still have a future and be a family man to your kids, and still maintain the better version of yourself And setting healthy boundaries for the next go around.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 12:34 PM
11

Felt like I wrote this, you’re not alone. It’ll all end soon when your son is old enough to realize things.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 03:10 AM
-6

If you feel dirty afterwards or struggle to perform, you could be demisexual. Look it up before you make a decision.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 02:55 AM
-4

Perspective: Sounds great until she’s sleeping with the guy who landscapes. Simply because he did a great job and noticed her gutters needed cleaning, so he did that too. Then he gets along with your son and helps her put together a brand new toy she bought him. Next thing you know, this post is updated because you were replaced. Choose your battles. Use it as an excuse to stop by to see your kid more. Stay involved.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 02:15 AM
1

I would leave him alone, tbh. He’s in no emotional capacity to take you seriously and you’re gonna get yourself hurt. Even if it’s to hang out….
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 01:54 AM
1

This is the real answer. The government will seek out the father via paternity test. Even if his rights are signed away.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 01:57 PM
-1

I WISH my ex would’ve done this. 100% would rather him disappear than be in arrears constantly and unreliable with visitation. Thank God for stepdads who fill a gap bigger than the Grand Canyon.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 01:56 PM
5

This is great advice, so much I had to chime in. Super proud of you OP. Thanks for sharing! I really wish my ex could fall upon this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 03:57 AM
1

I was in your shoes and thought about being the bigger person. However, at the end of the day, it causes more trouble than it’s worth. Only mention it once the kids are going to be introduced. And when it does happen, simply state you’re in a relationship. Nothing more.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 03:10 PM
9

One of the best parts of being divorced was not dealing with my in-laws!!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 02:41 PM
2

I lurk in this sub but I had to pop in and say body shaming like that lasts a long time. An ex threw it out in my face that “not every time I eat you out, do you taste good.” And I’ve been such a skincare addict since. I always ask my partner if how I tasted. Despite not getting a complaint since…. That memory is seared into my brain.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 11:53 AM
2

THIS. The kids don’t need further instability. Better to have every weekend or 3 weekends a month from pick up at school on Friday to drop off to school on Monday.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 06:20 PM
3

It’s won’t fail but it will be hindered. Caught my dads infidelity and it completely shattered the pride and respect I had for him. However, he’s still my father. With time, I learned to move on as I internalized it as a younger version of myself. Now I realize it was my parents issue and had nothing to do with me. If your kid finds out, be honest about what led you to the affair.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 04:22 AM
0

This. She mourned your loss (absence), the struggle (parenting alone in your absence), the loneliness (again, your absence) and the death of the marriage (due to your absence)… a long time ago. Attempting to be present now after she’s healed from it, isn’t going to repair the marriage. Also sounds like she was the main caretaker up until now, so she’s not going to accept “half time”. You’ll have to make real steps with your lawyer in trying to get 50/50. Like setting up your work schedule to acc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 10:51 AM
2

I really do hope things work out for you. In the end, it’s better to save your immediate family and distance yourself from the extended; including your parents/ in-laws. Too many opinions are bad for a relationship. Counseling will really help bring to light many issues that you don’t know you have. Sometimes, you may not even feel “safe” to express how you feel bc maybe she doesn’t let you finish talking. Or she’s defensive and doesn’t hear how you’re trying to compromise. You’ll be happy to kn…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 09:06 PM
3

Woman here (I know I know, I usually lurk and keep my mouth shut, but I actually relate too hard.) Context, divorce finalized recently but separated for 4 years. Our kid is 3, starting private school next year. We have joint custody and I’m against modern vaccine schedules. I breastfed for 14 months. Reasons for divorce: Alcoholism & PTSD (him), we were young and didn’t know how to communicate, got married ridiculously fast, issues with in-laws Firstly, have a calm conversation with your wife. G…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:56 PM
1

Here to tell you NOT to do that. CS is not negotiable to lessen what you owe, only to increase it. (i.e if you owe $300 but the kids are on her insurance plan and instead of paying half, you agree to add $40 to CS order). Anyway, most importantly your kids will suffer the impact of seeing you less. You’ll interrupt their routine and you don’t know how comfortable they are with her, vice versa. Try to negotiate outside the court with your. Give her an extra day or two, so you can her some stuff d…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 12:02 PM
11

I know women aren’t welcome here; but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you find comfort…. This was a tough read. Wishing you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 02:28 PM
4

I can assure you, she will use all the refusals in a future court proceeding. Your best bet is to accept but make it on your terms. “I’d love to see the kids! We can meet at the mall at 0:00, but you can shop while we eat at the food court.” Or “I wouldn’t mind getting the kids back-to-school clothes, why don’t we meet and I can take them?” Or “0:00 doesn’t work for me, but 0:00 does. We can meet at X and I’ll take them. Going together may confuse the kids and it’s not in their best interest emo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:01 AM
4

In my experience, lawyers drag their feet when it’s amicable. It’s been 5 months and nothing has gotten done. They make money one way or another.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 12:15 PM
10

When we sat in marriage counseling and I felt indifferent.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 02:48 AM
1

Sounds like you never addressed the cheating or healed from the pain of it. Love like you weren’t hurt and you’ll discover a great relationship. You don’t have to abide by social rules. Don’t have to move in or have kids or get married or have casual sex etc…. Like by what you feel is comfortable. But living in the defensive sounds exhausting
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:56 PM
1

It gets better, I promise.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:02 AM
7

I didn’t realize how many triggers I had. I fixed a lot of broken friendships, got into therapy and finished my degree. (None of which I would’ve done married) I’m raising my kid as a better parent single and coparenting, than we would’ve together. Now, I’m incredibly happy, I mean, truly happy with life. My kid is bright and loved us both. Life is good.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 03:14 PM
1

I found out my father cheated when I was 18. I all but threw his things out the door. Now, looking back, it wasn’t my place. However, your kids will react at whatever age when they discover their parents are separating. It’s easy to dismiss other failed marriages but when it’s your own, you get clouded. It’s not always the mother telling them things. They’re just reacting to the news. Give it time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 07:58 PM
1

Depends on the gal. Date for awhile and go slow. Build a genuine connection so you have enough trust to confide your anxiety to her. If you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with the person. Casual sex will just make you feel worse. Performance anxiety can be overcome with time and trust.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 05:13 PM
1

THIS. Many assume cheating and while it’s usually the case, sometimes it’s not. (In my case it wasn’t.) I would argue though, that she is manipulating the situation. Women make up their minds longggggg before they mention the word divorce. She quit on you months ahead of time. With that said, I’ve encountered many separated moms who realize the single mom life is hard. They will outright admit they rather be the miserable wife than the hardworking single mom. On the other coin, when the man they…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 02:58 PM
1

100% this. If he’s a 1% male, then I don’t understand this post. Nothing stinks to women more than desperation. This post reeks of it. Arrogant isn’t the word, but humble is a missing component. Also, while there’s women who are hungry for commitment, others run from it. OP states he wants neither; that’s confusing in itself. You don’t want to put a ring on it but don’t wanna screw? You want female attention without any strings or fun? At OP’s age, it’s a turn-off for women to be validation-seek…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 07:33 PM
0

THIS! So many men in this sub claiming their wife just left without actually mentioning the countless times the wife attempted to communicate needs/wants. There are far more men who don’t hold themselves accountable and claim being blindsided than there are women who just abandon the home. I agree with OP that social media and romance fiction has tainted women’s views. But generalizing an entire gender is reaching. Is 6 figures shallow? Yes, if you’re a barista making $20k a year. But if you’ve …
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 05:51 PM
1

It’s awkward in the very beginning. There’s a lot of resentment and anger. Then after some time, you find yourself coparenting better and even wonder why it went sour. Then they do something that reminds you why it went sour. After more time, you find yourself again, find others, too. Wait a year; things are much different after that point.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 09:44 PM
1

You’re playing with fire and eventually you’ll get burned. The kind of women you should be shooting for are 35-45 if you’re against marriage and kids. What’s wrong with that age range? It’s off putting to state a brag about luring 20’s, then act annoyed by the drama. Begs the question, do older women just see through you? They’re a lot harder to impress. Pulling a 20’s woman when you’re an older man isn’t a flex. Just means you’re bait for something they lack.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 05:02 AM
1

Your emotions are valid. Why? Because your kids may find him endearing since they get new toys out of it. It’s easier for them to accept him. Are you buying your kids toys? Do your kids accept you? Do you feel your doing your share in your kids happiness? This guy seems great to spend $ on kids that aren’t his. Be grateful for it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 02:10 PM
2

Everyone is a “little racist”; it stems from ignorance due to stereotypes and lack of insight from first hand encounters. But I agree 100%, you comment should be pinned.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 10:19 PM
1

I think you’re using this as the tagline but this isn’t the real reason for divorce. This seems fixable, whereby divorce is a permanent solution to otherwise permanent disasters. What’s the real reason you’re divorcing him? Your kids can grow up with him and formulate their own opinions about people. Just like alcoholic dads don’t necessarily produce alcoholic kids, gay couples don’t make gay kids, etc. Think about your own upbringing, there’s good & bad and you pick/choose what you accept or do…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 10:17 PM
1

It’s cursed. Reset it for yourself. Look at it everytime you consider marriage again
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 02:34 AM
3

Every day you’re with her is a day you’re without yourself & a partner who truly loves you. You’re teaching your kids that it’s okay to be with someone who treats you with disdain.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 04:23 AM
6

Can confirm that most women don’t start taking care of themselves until they reach late 30’s. I’ve been doing religious skincare all my 20’s and now that I’m closer to 30, my height/weight/skin makes me look early 20’s, whereas friends I went to high school with have visible smile lines, early crows feet and forehead wrinkles. Just wanted to say that women in my age (late 20’s) do not want to”genuinely” be with a man in their 40’s. She’s lying to you. As soon as you stop being a money prize…. Yo…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 12:39 PM
1

You sound like the person I am dating now. We’re both divorcees and I’m the pessimist.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 12:54 PM
1

The housing/renting market is horrendous; would you consider someone’s basement that had a private entrance, full kitchen & laundry? Those tend to be cheaper than apartments but still more private. Other option would be a duplex, still cheaper than an apartment. I never like suggesting trailer parks but they are cheaper than a housing rental and some are rent to own, wouldn’t be bad idea if you did that and rented it out after you moved from it. (They do break down often so don’t do it unless yo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 01:11 PM
1

A lot of jaded men and some with common sense
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:02 PM
1

RUN.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:01 PM
1

Wow, just wow. 10/10 she didn’t forget.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:59 PM
2

Geez, while I admit you’re right on some points you’re really exaggerating others. Yes, there are skeletons bigger than she’s admitting, but prostitute big? That’s unhinged. I’d wager it’s more like she sold foot pics, uploaded porn videos or did some webcam along side the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:57 PM
1

THIS. Enjoy it while it lasts but don’t dwell or get married legally.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:25 PM
1

Yes except the clock doesn’t run out that fast. Women well in their 50’s post divorce have a like of men. The privileges change, in fact, get better. Now it’s older established men with more money taking you on dates. Not some scrawny 19 year old paying to share popcorn. Safe to say sex is better to… as now you have an experienced man who knows what to do
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:24 PM
1

Something my therapist said “know your lane, it’s not your job to save anyone. It’s your job to support them getting the help they need.” It’s not OP’s job to be the rehab this chick needs. Has she been in therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:21 PM
1

Can confirm, women aren’t going to tell you how many REALLY were unprotected or were better, bigger,faster etc. than you. Men can’t handle the “truth”. Just like females can’t handle being told our pussy isn’t as good as the last or other bed performance ideals. If she was DTF first date, definitely assume she was DTF for most of her encounters. And 100%, youre not special. If she had unprotected with you, she had unprotected with them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:20 PM
1

Just wanted to say that the divorce process does take time. Lawyers battle things out and the court system is backed up. Even if she does file, you can drag it out in mediation. Doesn’t help much but it’s something. I would stay in your marriage if I were you; find a lawyer that’s going to represent you well. Start documenting everything so that when it becomes knowledge to her that you filed, you’re ahead of the game.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 11:52 AM
3

Then you’re confusing. You want the sex without commitment, that’s fine. If she agrees, that’s even better. Just expect her to do the same (i.e y’all can be dating and screwing for months, don’t get upset if you discover she’d been sleeping with other guys she’s been dating while getting know you. And technically, since it’s not exclusive, she doesn’t have to tell you about it.)
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:08 PM
2

Just communicate from the start that you’re looking for casual sex. If you’re not just wanting casual sex, then communicate you want to date with the possibility of sex and no strings attached. That way, she can have sex with you and all the other guys she goes on dates with since you two aren’t exclusive.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 02:59 PM
3

100%.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 02:40 PM
3

What it really means is she’s bored. Y’all have a mundane life; same sex routine, same meals, same vacay spots….. she wants a change. Offer therapy and come up with ways to change things up. Otherwise, just let it go. She will quickly realize it’s an internal issue of happiness and not about you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 12:02 PM
2

No way! I thought post-divorce i wouldn’t have great sex like my ex again, man I was wrong. Great sex is a great partner away.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 08:31 PM
5

Unless there’s kids involved or a financial circumstance, I see little reason why you should be involved. There’s a chance you two could rekindle an old flame and you could end up worse.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 09:56 PM
1

Focus on being a good coparent if you have a kid together. Otherwise, try your best to move on. Seek a support group of friends or family.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:47 AM
1

It takes time; everybody heals at a different pace. No matter what happens, give yourself some grace to mess up. Try to keep your relationship with her positive so hopefully, custody/coparenting Can go smoother. In addition to finding a counselor (try online), I would get consultations with lawyers. You don’t have to be deceitful but you have to protect yourself & your kids best interests. You’ll thank yourself later if things go south. All in all, as a female who gave birth 22m ago, she’s exhib…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 04:01 AM
3

This is like erotica for women who had terrible ex husbands. Dang, you sound like Prince Charming and it gutted ME reading her cold remark. Honestly though, personal counseling for her sounds good but I do think marital counseling for BOTH of you is essential before going with the divorce. It also sounds like she suffer(ed/s) from post-partum depression, it’s extremely common. I hope the best for you and I’m sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 09:51 PM
2

Are you dating her? How much sex are you having? When’s the last time she wore lingerie for you or y’all tried something new (restaurant)? When’s the last time y’all traveled somewhere? Do y’all have long conversations? Do y’all text often? These are things she’ll complain about or otherwise long for in another man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 11:08 PM
-9

I honestly feel like people who ask about body count are either extremely insecure because of their own lack of experiences (or failure to perform) or very misogynistic. Personally, I feel it’s immature on both ends. Either the person you are with is likable/worth enough to YOU or they aren’t. But basing it on past sexual experiences holds little merit. Does it matter in concept? Sure. But should it be a dealbreaker to an otherwise ideal situation, definitely not. In the r/marriage sub, a questi…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:29 AM
2

A phone call or a text is enough
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 10:08 PM
2

It’s like that after you experience a toxic relationship. Don’t confuse “I’m not ready for this” for “I’m recognizing this is toxic behavior I ignored before”. You deserve to be treated well and she can either communicate effectively or not be there
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 09:32 PM
5

Female perspective, it happens. My ex cheated on me (among other things) we separated for divorce. Months later I found myself in your situation and everything was fine until the act was ABOUT to happen. Panic set in, flung the poor guy off me and practically ran away. The physical was there but the mental block of “oh sh*t, this isn’t my spouse, this isn’t right.” Didn’t let things progress. It simply means you’re not ready yet. Give it more time, it passes. You do, however, need to be with som…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 11:14 PM
-1

Are you my husband? He’s professed his love for me multiple times since we split a year ago. I lurk here for perspective. Dear Husband (OP), You don’t want me back. Our relationship ended long before I (she) took the step to mention the word ‘divorce’. In my mind, you’d be the last man on earth and I still wouldn’t want you back. Maybe for convenience, maybe to grab a bite to eat and TRY to relive a good moment, maybe to make myself feel better, maybe out of pity for you or maybe to see if there…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 04:39 AM
4

Female here. I very much enjoy this sub, as it provides perspective. It’s also easier to understand why men can be so jaded (singles dads or divorced).
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 02:07 AM
2

Kids don’t lie. Either YOU tell her or your son WILL. I wouldn’t recommend bringing the girlfriend along, if you have to drive so far (I’m assuming) you probably don’t see your son often as is. This means he will excited to see YOU. You may just break his heart and partly ruin the trip, as from the perspective of your son, he will be fighting for your attention. While at the same time, confused on who she is and the fact she’s pregnant and why you’re replacing mommy. It’s a lot of dynamics all a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 07:33 PM
1

Kids don’t lie. Either YOU tell her or your son WILL. I wouldn’t recommend bringing the girlfriend along, if you have to drive so far (I’m assuming) you probably don’t see your son often as is. This means he will excited to see YOU. You may just break his heart and partly ruin the trip, as from the perspective of your son, he will be fighting for your attention. While at the same time, confused on who she is and the fact she’s pregnant and why you’re replacing mommy. It’s a lot of dynamics all a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 07:33 PM
3

Focus on watering your grass and quit comparing it to hers. I’m sorry OP
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 04:43 AM
3

I’m always super wary of things like that. Typically the best info in the Ad, click bait. Google is full of tons of info, you can stick to peer reviewed articles by using Galileo or Google Scholar. Use YouTube, just take it with a grain of salt. There’s also tons of info for free on YOUR county’s website, about the divorce process and custody. You may be able to find some courses on Udemy that are informational and way cheaper. Don’t get scammed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 04:14 PM
2

Ride the wave and don’t wear the cologne of desperation or self pity. You’ll be fine. I recommend Asian cuisine. It’s typically healthier (makes it seem like you have taste in food and care about what you eat); tends to give more for your buck and the ambiance is nice. My 2 cents.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 02:27 AM
3

Sell them to a friend, keep a bill of sale. Then get them back post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:49 AM
3

Kids are resilient, you’re putting way too much emphasis on everything else but yourself. Love yourself OP. Kids bounce back pretty great and coparenting is possible.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 12:16 AM
2

I smell a divorce “you didn’t see coming” on the horizon. Child support and the house isn’t going anywhere, you are. I Can see a Jody coming in to take your place a couple months after you’re gone. Look, when conversations get shorter with you, they get longer with someone else. And she’s definitely horny….. don’t be naive. Make the move first.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 12:14 AM
3

Be honest. Tell her you’re not in a place mentally or emotionally to hook-up and that right now isn’t the moment for a relationship. If she continues to pursue you, then you’ve found someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries (red flag). If she respects what you say and offers a hand at friendship (no bs of flirting or unwanted touches here and there), then you may have found someone who can enrich your healing journey. You, too, are more than just a walking piece of meat. Don’t let women objec…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:11 PM
3

Depends on your spouse. We split in May ‘22… neither one of us has filed yet.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 03:08 AM
2

Well written !
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 02:22 AM
9

That’s actually a great explanation
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 10:05 PM
2

Wow
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 10:01 PM
2

Ex-husband**
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 06:32 AM
3

Get a black or a Hispanic female attorney….. no one fights harder.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 05:45 AM
13

Understanding things from the male perspective. Trying to see how men express feelings and think.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 01:31 PM
3

Don’t want to reiterate what’s been said, but short answer no. Here’s why: You can’t prove she didn’t contribute over 25 years. You could be the bread winner and she the agree to SAHM. Then when kids are older, maybe she picked up a job/hobby and you both decided you would live off YOUR retirement and spend her “extra” on entertainment for the mean time. Then, things stopped working out and suddenly “she” doesn’t have anything to retire off of. So to be fair, a judge will split it 50/50. Not say…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 08:11 PM
2

Divorcees are damaged and need lots of time, understanding and patience. Considering he was only separated, he could’ve gotten into legal trouble with his ex wife, that could affect his custody with the kids. It also screams rebound. Don’t take it personal, remember the good times and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 04:10 AM
1

It’s a personal decision. How would you feel with yourself if she did have terminal cancer and couldn’t qualify for health insurance ? It’s a reality. You could keep her on your insurance and I’m exchange ensure you get the custody you want and set things in motion for after her passing, in terms of the kids and how assets/debt will be allocated.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 03:06 AM
3

Karma is real. Your new tail will do the same to you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 01:15 AM
1

If men without kids steer clear from single mothers, it makes sense why you wouldn’t want to commit to a package deal (or play with fire and risk a pregnancy). However, the single dads commenting like they’re not equally a “package deal” is so ironic. Like women without kids are blind to the failed marriage and 50/50 or less than 50 parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 08:28 PM
1

I’m sorry my comment (not post) defending the minority of single mothers who have their lives together was so offensive to you, a clearly jaded man, who found a blank statement personal.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 08:26 PM
1

Clearly he’s hurt and wants to jab at me instead of the woman who really hurt him. It’s okay, I can take a harmless bark.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 08:16 PM
-2

Don’t group us all together, just like not all divorced men are deadbeat dads who beat their wives or had an affair. I follow that subreddit for the odd post that relates to life hacks as a single mom. And while yes, there’s an overflow of women who got knocked up and want another man for a paycheck, the vast majority of the herd-working independent single moms are lurkers. Putting down single mothers is ironic if you, yourself, have a child.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 04:00 AM
2

Get the stuff your kid needs yourself if you feel her misuse to starving your kid. Keep receipts and make sure you OPEN them so they’re not returnable anywhere. Leave it at her doorstep. Don’t give her more than the court demands but take care of the kid. Edit: Buy diapers, open the box & the plastic, place in a separate bag. Buy snacks in bulk, remove from original packaging and place in separate box. Repeat for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 10:53 PM
0

Not a pension, but I know my x thought his employment income was all Child Support would calculate, wrong. His disability most definitely counted.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 03:31 AM
8

People show their true colors after a period of time. Wait it out. If she truly wants to speak to her kids daily, she won’t tire. If it’s just a means to irritate you and you don’t ever get irritated, she will bore. Classic female move.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 08:41 PM
2

Cant relate. I feel my stomach turn everytime I see my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 03:25 PM
1

There’s a tons of women who love receiving and giving. 69? Hello. But beware, there’s women who just won’t suck YOU off or will suck you off until they chain you. In either case, don’t jinx it by getting married ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 11:33 PM
1

You can definitely be raped by your spouse. It is a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:43 AM
1

This is horrible! I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:43 AM
2

This is how it’s worked for me!!
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:41 AM
2

Sounds like you haven’t forgiven her, and not because she deserves it but because you deserve to let it go. It won’t happen overnight but confront the fact that your anger is only hurting you. Your ex spouse doesn’t need to know or get the pleasure of knowing…. But you should forgive her for yourself. As long as you are angry, you are hurt and you are hurt because you haven’t forgiven. I’m glad your healing journey is going well, stay the course. Even if your ex apologized and your dreams played…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:40 AM
1

Go online and calculate what you will owe in child support. I did it before going to the office and it was accurate
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:34 AM
1

Child support services made it very clear to me that if I get pregnant before the final divorce decree, the baby could legally be tagged on to my STBXH. Atleast in GA. Get your lawyer for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 03:15 AM
8

Sell your assets, liquidate yourself and get out of debt. Make sure there isn’t a credit card she can max out in a rage. Slowly plan your exit strategy with a lawyer. File before she gets smart.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 03:05 AM
-1

Lazy as fuck in what way? Not working? Not getting an education? Not being a good mother?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 01:08 AM
6

Just divorce now. You are married for all the wrong reasons. And child support will be more than alimony would’ve been anyway. And every 3 years or so, she can modify it to match your increase in salary. Edit to add: it not hard to bag a high earning man. They tend to be very lonely and a listening ear in a nice dress is enough to catch their eye. Your underestimating how your wife could be once scorned and motivated.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 01:02 AM
1

What a great response! I actually 100% agree to your stance
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 06:34 PM
3

Haven’t found the right woman to stimulate you and you need to give it time to heal from the damáge of your ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 01:47 PM
2

Just want to say she can touch it. It counts as income for child support calculation. From personal experience.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 12:25 PM
0

Have you seen post divorce glow ups? Your wife is definitely able to lose the weight and transform, so don’t count on that. As for the rest of your story, is there other reasons your seeking divorce other than weight? This sounds more where like r/legaladvise could help.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:54 PM
3

I cringed reading this, I’m sorry OP. The grass is definitely greener on the other side of you Can agree to 50/50 custody
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 02:06 AM
1

Do 3 weekends a month with one dinner during the week. That gives you one weekend to plan a social event. The 3 weekends don’t have to be back to back.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 03:11 AM
5

You can get it annulled, talk to a lawyer asap and do it before she gets angry and smart.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:30 PM
3

Don’t fix what isn’t broken. Different sex partners doesn’t equal a great sex life. Finding ONE great sex partner that can meet or exceed your desires is more than enough. Talk to your spouse, chances are she’s bored of the same ol’ sex routine too. Get a marriage counselor to sort out your feelings and plan trips with your spouse. I think this is the wrong sub to ask this kind of question.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 10:09 PM
1

Unless your state says otherwise, the rings are hers. Do what you want with yours.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 12:31 AM
1

Im sorry you gave your entire lifetime to her and really for that baby. It motivated your work ethic and as a veteran, the military is a huge sacrifice. The number of events you miss and the time you dedicate. I hope you find refuge in therapy, the gym and friends. I wish you best. Your story is touching and the road to divorce and freedom is a hard one but very rewarding
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 03:07 AM
1

You need to stop focusing on what others can bring you and what YOU can bring to YOURSELF. Focus on yourself, your goals and your healing. You attract what your energy is…. If you go into dating with negative energy LG you will attract that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 04:04 AM
5

Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 12:35 AM
2

HIT. THE. GYM. It does so much for your mental health
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 11:48 PM
-1

Because it’s none of your business, now. (Me, a woman) I can honestly say that whether is no one, one, ten or fifty; when my STBXH asks: it’s none. Keep the conversations about the kids. Get through the divorce process of separating assets and focus on yourself. What if she had told you the truth ? So what. It doesn’t change your current circumstance. If anything, it’ll drive you nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 09:58 PM
2

You are both causing tons of stress on your kids. Is that the kind of marriage you want then to model after? Both of you are being incredibly selfish to know your marriage is failing and dragging the kids along. I can’t even focus on the issue of the post because it blows my mind how insensitive you’re being to your kids eyes. Leave FOR the kids. They deserve to see two happy parents and not two miserable ones.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 11:54 AM
6

Money has everything to do with it. Status quo or security
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 06:37 AM
6

(26f) here and came to say that there are TONS of hot older women. But you’re going to find them in the gym, pool or park. So if you’re not hanging around those places, the odds of finding them are slim. Older women actually take better care than us younger folk. They HAVE to, us? We can still look good in pjs and a messy hair bun. Older women are higher maintence and have the seasoned life experience you crave. There’s only so much you can milk from a younger girl before you’re bored of her. I …
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 06:36 AM
2

Thanks for your feedback! It definitely broadened my horizon and I see what you mean. It’s great you divorced with no kids. Gives you so much liberty
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:44 AM
6

I am right there with you, however. My grandma lived the life you described. And while she enjoyed it young, now she is old. The chances of finding a partner slim, she is sick and who is taking care of her? Sure, the family pitches in money for things, a grandkid May carpool or a child make take her to lunch. But at night, when the world is quiet and your joints hurt. There’s no one there to ask how your day went. No one to bring you a glass of water. She has tons of friends and 7 kids. She is i…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 08:00 PM
5

Want to say this is sound advice. But doesn’t replace a CPA or lawyer, OP.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:15 PM
9

Forget the alimony, you’re in for an audit from the IRS. Anything not on YOUR tax return (or a K-1 share from a business you own) is tax evasion or can “seem to be”. This screams red flags for an audit. Get a lawyer and see if there’s a clause that can be put in your paperwork to where she can’t access over a certain percentage. I don’t suggest this but as someone who works in taxes…. Have someone you trust run the business in their name. Become an officer of the business and cut yourself a set …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:13 PM
2

It’s like walking on egg shells with someone who has bipolar disorder. I feel you so MUCH. I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 03:44 AM
1

My DM’s are open if you need a safe place to vent! :) sorry for what you’re going through.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 03:35 AM
15

Move on. She is manipulating you and the entire situation. Signed, A female perspective
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 02:24 AM
4

Install cameras, make sure it loops. Don’t let her try the abuse card
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 05:21 PM
0

I completely forgot about it and he didn’t. Sent me a message congratulating it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 02:55 AM
2

Your marriage was dead before you spoke, you were just the one to mention it first. Acceptance is the first hurdle, then it’s getting a lawyer to figure out custody. Please don’t end your sobriety over this…. It really does get so much better. As a divorcee to a man who was an alcoholic, I could never get over the trauma. In his sobriety he has remained hopeful but I still see the drunken him in flashbacks. I don’t blame her for not overcoming those moments. My motto was “I’m not a rehab center”…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:59 AM
1

I think as I age I will encounter men with a like mindset. But at 26, many men don’t have kids or are still married or engaged. Divorced this young or single dads is far and few in my area at least.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:49 AM
1

I think it’s easier as a man to find a woman who isn’t up for marriage. As a woman saying off the bat “I’m not remarrying or wanting more kids” comes off so intimidating and like “who hurt you” vibes. Haha best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 12:07 PM
1

No, it’s not common sense and I personally wouldn’t do it if I was in his shoes. For me, respect is staying out of the previous relationship. I would know my place as the step dad and leave it at that. Why do I need to talk to you?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 12:22 AM
4

It’s how I feel. Met someone new and it feels like we’re both shells of our past marriages
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 02:34 AM
1

Once you have a custody agreement in place you have to legally unblock her or have another app where you do all the communication. But there needs to be a form of contact between you. Say in an emergency if she calls you, she could say you had her blocked and you’d have no way to defend yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 03:15 AM
2

A woman’s perspective… Your feelings are valid and you’re not crazy BUT do NOT confront your stbx in public. Unless she is doing something very obvious to endanger your child, that is a battle you will not win. Verbal arrangements don’t count. Google your county’s parenting plan, spend some hours editing it in word. Discuss it with her and go before a notary (UPS Store). Make 4 copies, 2 each for both of you. One of you needs to move out. I’m not sure what state you are in, but no sex = legally …
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 03:11 AM
3

Take it slow, I mean have fun! But don’t rush into anything. Codependency is very common to slip into post divorce. Wish you the best man
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:36 AM
5

Everyone who goes through divorce is, but even when you’re not searching (repelling even) it comes your way. Just remember, if you love your next partner don’t jynx it by marrying again. Live free live happy
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:55 AM
2

It gets better. I feel your pain but it gets better. Wish I could offer a hug, but I promise, it really does get better. Definitely not saying anytime soon, but when it happens eventually, someone will strike your eye, give you small butterflies… you’ll be terrified but you’ll also realize how shitty your spouse was. How much better you deserved and how much time you could’ve saved. Loving again is a hard task but realizing your worth comes a lot sooner. I wish you the best. I am sorry. But i un…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:43 AM
1

I deleted photos a month or so after separating. It has brought peace in blocking social media.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 04:49 AM
2

Take a co-parenting course to show the court how proactive you’re being. Get into therapy on the side to help you for the journey ahead. First question to the lawyer is… how can I get my kids? Don’t back down in your search
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:48 AM
3

YES
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 10:15 PM
7

THIS. One of my first jobs was working at a retail store and I smiled to everyone. Made small talk to pass the time. A guy got the wrong idea and came in with ROSES. I was so embarrassed and even more, having to turn him down publicly. (Cashier + line) it’s happened on two separate occasions. Don’t recommend. Best tactic? Just be upfront. Say “I think you’re really pretty and I know you’re working so I won’t make a scene. If you want my number to continue talking, let me know.” Reverse psycholog…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 10:14 PM
1

You’re assuming SHE wants you back, too. Or that she wants to put her kid up to it. Have to explain why you left and came back, if you go back. And even IF she would take you back, you’re risking resentment, some counseling for sure and the fact she may end up leaving YOU. Stay the course you set. Sounds like you need therapy to determine why you’re unhappy as an individual.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 04:43 PM
1

Sometimes it’s not intentional. My little one will hit a growth spurt and sleep half a day, other times she doesn’t nap at all and will pass out early in the evening-til morning next day. She has a routine, set sleep schedule she naturally follows but it gets sporadic. Not invalidating your point OP… but unless it continues to happen EVERY SINGLE TIME over the course of MONTHS… I would hint that it could just be the child overwhelmed. Could be excitement that Keeps’m up. Devil’s Advocate.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 02:46 AM
5

Divorce is so hard, the grass is not as green as you think. You have to water the hell out of it. IF there is ANY hope of making it work, give it a shot. You need to be completely sure before you rip it off.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 01:13 AM
2

Unless you’ve tried everything, everythinnggg… they may not feel comfortable with the idea of divorce because they see the potential still. If everything has been tried, it’s manipulation
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 01:10 AM
20

Forget who you think your wife is, all that changes once you bring up the D word. Get all agreement in writing and go before a notary. Get an ATTORNEY now, before you approach her. Pay off any debt while you’re still together and go online (child support calculator) to figure out how much you will pay. Figure out where you will live and have that set up before you split. Think carefully about how you want visitation to work. 50/50 at that young isn’t realistic.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 04:07 PM
-1

Are you that jaded that you truly believe that? Geez.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:50 AM
2

Some of us are genuine. Not catfishes and could use a friend, too. Some of us are lurkers. Not every woman needs a desperate buck vía onlyfans.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:46 AM
5

I think you could use a therapist to help you see some things more clearly. The fact you cheated repeatedly and expect your wife to “see the good about the marriage”, tells me a lot about how desensitized you are.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 02:03 PM
3

Or… their marriage is suffering other issues and she’s depressed. He comments on her weight and lack of sex, pushing her deeper in the hole. Who wants to have sex with a man that calls her fat? Let’s get back to basics.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 01:48 PM
2

It sounds like you haven’t tried every Avenue and there’s deeper issues at hand. Resentment, maybe? The next partner you seek will gain weight once they have kids. Or get sick and can’t manage weight. Or have surgery that impedes sex. Or age and menopause attacks libido. My point is, if you’re basing your divorce/future-relationship on something as fickle as appearance and sex appeal, then do yourself a favor and stay single. Im not judging you, honestly trying to help you. Her weight or sex doe…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 01:45 PM
1

It’s NSFW-type profile. So id bet men who want to sext could benefit. Thats if OP consents or initiates. Don’t be disrespectful y’all. Haha all the non-NSFW men who need to vent and cry, I’m open. My phones like the Sahara desert
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 01:29 PM
2

As a 26F myself in USA, I’m just as highly suspect as the men in this sub. Although, I feel that release is coming from a OnlyFans-type of angle. Not trying to step on your shoes OP. I’m glad you’re offering your DM space for a man who needs the ear. I’ll vouch for you, simply because as a lurker on this sub, my heart goes out to you guys. I’m going through the process and it sucks. So I don’t mind having a pen pal to brighten each other day after a crappy court date. Not all of us females are b…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 01:25 PM
4

I don’t think it makes “us” jaded to not commit the same mistake twice. I am capable of loving someone else and committing, without going through this whole divorce ordeal again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 12:22 AM
2

Annnnddd my heart sank. Women are notorious when they’re pissed. Texas is notorious in law. I feel like you cheapened out on a lawyer. Not saying your friend isn’t worthy, but if it was evident you were losing so badly with the judge, you could’ve used a better lawyer to fight for you. Anyhow; I’m sorry you were dealt a Poor hand.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 12:09 AM
1

Im not taking a true stance as there’s so much info lacking. But my real question is…. Who represented you so poorly??? The 30k vs 175k is such a huge gap.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 12:05 AM
21

Sometimes I question if “it was really THAT bad”; then I remember it all and I enjoy not being nagged at.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 09:11 PM
3

We can be pen pals, I’ll check up on you and when it’s late at night and you can’t sleep, we talk about our day. Sincerely, A lurker who’s lonely & can use a friend
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 08:38 PM
1

Yes!
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 12:50 AM
1

Same!!!! Grinds my gears to hear people say “you’re young you’ll find someone, watch!” Im never doing this marriage thing again. Closest I’ll get it living with them and being roommates with separate bank accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 12:48 AM
1

Are you my ex? You sound so much like it!! I would lay off the alcohol. She can use it against you. I would also avoid medication or CbD. Honestly, stick to the gym, find a hobby or go out with friends to the park. Walk it off because Poor coping mechanisms are weapons she can use against you. Pretend everything you do can be used against you. Im not being spiteful towards my stbxh, but that would be my advice. Don’t make it so easy to get screwed over. Edit: are you in therapy? It seriously hel…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 12:44 AM
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