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Il_Valentino Archive

View 0 posts and 144 comments by Il_Valentino on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

no he has a point, body count correlates with marriage success. i dont recommend it either way though
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 12:44 PM
2

the issue with marriage is systemic. it doesn't really matter how you pick your partner.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 12:43 PM
5

the purpose is to give economic security to women such that they feel more inclined to get pregnant and raise children. without marriage this would be too risky in a modern capitalistic economy. the men get a family and gamble it will work out. so unless you are REALLY desperate for children you shouldn't marry. for comparison: traditional marriage is about creating durable bonds between men and women to ensure kids are raised and to build a sogial safety net.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 12:36 AM
1

young men are already moving to the right en masse, it's already happening
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 09:52 PM
2

I apologize for not picking up on the sarcasm. I don't know that my missing that is justification for attacking me directly. if you literally display the behavior which i criticize in my comment then i have no issue to double down on you was in no way 'going white knight' and I don't think I used the word misogyny in my reply to you. you accused me of "denigrating" the entire gender, which would be misogyny. it's white knighting 101 That being said, this sub is rife with it. examples? any? My st…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 06:22 PM
4

Men going on about how strong and stoic and supportive they are while actively denigrating 50% of rhe population based on their gender? is this a joke? are you really this dense? the entire point of my comment was making fun of pretentious comments like yours who take any opportunity to go full white knight and calling everything "misogyny" that doesn't give off the approved feminist vibe. in other words: i was NOT targeting the other gender, i was targeting people like YOU. with a shred of read…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 12:36 PM
23

it's very simple: the other gender is perfect and can only be talked about in a positive way. any kind of negative view is a demonstration of inceldom, misogyny, both or just being a terrible human being overall. if the other gender wants something then we have to accept, kiss their feet and ask what else we can do because for a man there is no higher purpose than to serve the perfect gender (unless you take hormones and "join" their ranks then all bets are off). So if Miss Perfect decides that …
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 02:41 AM
2

Well I hope people don't forget the lesson they learned, marriage is systemically broken.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 06:07 AM
3

W.T.F. am I reading?
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 11:22 PM
-6

Maybe you still have some chat history saved up with her, then you can show that to your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:44 PM
15

Just move on. Don't let her use you. Have some self-respect.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:56 AM
6

Fear of missing out (fomo)
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 03:47 AM
22

If you don't marry her then her financials are irrelevant. If you do marry her then you haven't learned your lesson yet.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 10:20 PM
2

should have gotten out when I could have you still can, it's just more hassle in older marriages I am convinced death or suicide are my only two choices. no?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 07:42 AM
10

his new partner is sufficient punishment
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 07:38 AM
5

Are female couple counselors biased towards wives? isn't the entire western culture?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 07:36 AM
1

i point in the direction of "forget her and move on".
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 01:11 PM
2

The "healing" is a long process and requires a massive shift in his mind. Realizing that a shift is necessary to begin with is the first step. My comment just points in the right direction, as there isn't much else I can do. The bulk must come from himself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 06:11 AM
1

living proof that divorce isn't the worst outcome
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 03:33 PM
8

guys... do. not. build. your. life. on. sand. modern marriage has nothing to do with relationship stability, it's just a financial construct. marriage vows are empty promises with 0 security measures. I can't continue the career path I envisioned for myself in this city, because I want to be close to my daughter. I feel devastated and my mind goes to dark places often... if you are unhappy because of your career then you have to decide whats more important to you and respect your own decision.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 03:27 PM
2

your brain is still confused. you live in the past, move on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 01:02 PM
1

possible? yes. recommended? no.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 01:00 PM
0

eeeeh, was there anything else that made you think she is cheating? i personally would need at least one more piece of info to see a pattern. it is certainly a reason to get rdy for divorce but i wouldn't pull the trigger over this alone.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 06:00 PM
1

save your chats with her and show it to the kids when she tries to tell lies
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:57 PM
4

run. a lying woman can do a lot of damage to a man in western countries. get out asap.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 02:34 PM
2

It's sufficient to say at least that you try but can't. Not pushing back to that narrative is incredibly hurtful and unnecessary.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 06:16 PM
6

imo, just file behind her back and tell her on the day when you move out. living an entire month with her is risky as she might be able to come up with false accusations.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 02:05 PM
1

I want the peace that ditching negativity brings but maybe it’s too soon. Thoughts? everything starts with acceptance. accept the reality what kind of human your ex is. then make the appropriate conclusions and act on them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:37 AM
3

My youngest (7yo) just freaking told me she is mad at me for moving out without them. I ended up in tears in front of them, and don't know how the hell I'm supposed to feel or act. tell them the truth?
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:32 AM
1

it's impossible to give proper advice by hearing only one side. let's cut through the emotional fog: it should always be clear, on a fundamental level, what each side wants and what each side is willing to do. either you can come to an agreement or not. if communication is lacking then naturally it's hard to meet expectations. hows the bedroom situation?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 01:55 PM
1

I was confused and told him I had feelings for him and got attached. He just said “I am sorry you thought that way, after awhile we keep as friends”. That’s means he was lying to me all this time. OR he wasn't sure until that point. it's a bad habit to assume malicious intent. just wanna know what’s wrong with a man when they are not ready for a relationship after a divorce? there's nothing wrong. a divorce is just often an eye opener that real life isn't a disney fantasy. hard to get excited kn…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:27 AM
1

This days without asking me first? You don’t know my schedule? What do you say to this? "im your dad not your personal assistant. either you come with me like a good little kid or you do it on your own like an adult."
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:21 AM
1

I'm so scared of being alone why? have some trust in your own abilities. I built this family from scratch, and planned on it being my forever family. well, with divorce statistics that was a losing bet. I dont want to start over, I want to be done. then just don't start all over again? it's ok, you don't need to do it. you can live a happy, quiet single live.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:17 AM
1

Every date bores me... it’s just like… I’d rather be by myself. so why not just do that? I used to be such a social person. just hang out with friends? I wonder if this is ever going to pass, or if I already had my one true love, and now everything else is just going to be… pale? real life is not a disney movie. there is no "one true love" waiting for you outside. real "love" is just a biological mechanism with an expiration date. if you keep comparing real life with fantasy then of course thing…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:05 AM
16

13 years is so long and she's moved on already? they always divorce when they have already moved on and have another partner in line. it's called monkey branching and a real thing. It's constantly nagging me and I can't stop it. In my mind I know this shouldn't matter. Divorce is divorce and I've kinda accepted I'm going to be alone. it's nagging you because you still rely on outside validation. don't make your self-image depended on other people. I feel so confused, lost, and betrayed? you are …
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 05:57 AM
1

My exe had an affair and asked for a divorce almost a month later. We made several agreements after she asked for the divorce. Be honest and not have people over. she lied to be faithful, why do you ask a liar to be honest? She lied to my face multiple times since then. who would have guessed? We had a talk in the kitchen to be honest... she lied to my face again she’s changed some of the last agreements we had. don't. ask. a liar. to be honest. I remain friends after we move out poor life choic…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 05:41 AM
0

This never works because the other gender tends to vote as a block plus loads of men love to submit. So you'll never have a majority to fix the issues. The only way to make things move forward is by passive resistance and breaking the system. Stop engaging.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 02:28 AM
4

Hard to tell if biological or just how society treats them, but ye, eventually bad decisions pile up
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 03:08 PM
3

When my ex moved out of my home in July, I hopped right on the dating apps. I had some fun dates, sex a few times, but overall, it wasn't really good, a lot of flakes and ghosting, a lot of just mindless swiping. I longed for what I had in a stable marriage (until she decided to cheat). sigh, here we go again. You are still chasing a fantasy. Modern marriages are unstable by design. You still believe that "love" can glue a relationship forever but "love" is just a biological high with an expirat…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 07:13 AM
12

Stop fighting for the kids, at least for now. You can't win this battle and your kids won't be happy to see their dad going down either. Choose your fights wisely. For now you need to focus more on yourself than on them. Maybe in the future they will realize what their mom did to you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 07:00 AM
7

its a left leaning platform, radical feminism and misandry are rampant here (not defending right wing politics, both sides have crappy positions)
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 10:32 AM
2

I just struggle to understand why it seems it’s always the man’s fault lol. because people rarely listen to the husbands and their wives get away with it. that's it. men don't receive even a fraction of sympathy and good will of what the other gender gets.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 11:14 PM
3

BUT, I loved being married. I loved having a full house to come home to, even if it was chaotic at times. you loved the idea of being married, the fantasy I'm scared of approaching women and being rejected. the issue isnt the risk of rejection, the issue is your fear of it and the underlying reason. stop making your self-image depended on outside approval. if you realize that then theres nothing to fear and as a bonus you might lose your interest in "approaching" too, there are more meaningful t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 10:57 PM
2

there's nothing to "work out" with such a human, just escaping
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 10:32 PM
6

The issue is structural (laws, culture, biology). No amount of screening will give you safety. It's like playing russian roulette.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:00 AM
14

a) Your wife was a fraud and a cheat. Forget her. b) Your desire for a romantic companionship is a fantasy. Modern relationships don't work like that. You confuse disney tales with reality. Love is a biological mechanism with an expiration date. c) Your life feels empty because you are lacking purpose. Realize that relationships can give purpose but it's like building on sand. Find purpose inside yourself not outside. d) Modern marriage is designed to fail, so don't feel bad. Please, whatever yo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:27 AM
6

Your pain is a natural step towards healing. She has moved on, so should you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:06 AM
5

Lust leads to love Love leads to marriage Marriage leads to unimaginable suffering
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 09:20 AM
1

If you love your son you stay alive, simple as that. Do sports and get fresh air, depression is just a spiral of negative thoughts that fog your mind, you aren't thinking straight.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:53 AM
4

if i have learned anything from people's divorce stories then to not fall for the same trap again
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:56 PM
4

My closing thought was on how it will make an unappealing prospect of me once I’m ready to date (long from now). finances has little to do with dating unless you are planning to marry again (pls dont fall for the same trap again) The reason my divorce may decimate my finances is because I self sacrificed so that my wife would consider me a good provider. sigh, why would you do that, at least put up a fight. I tried to buy her love with endless support, financial and otherwise. It never worked. I…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:54 PM
1

How do you begin to process hurting someone like that? you process by working on yourself and becoming wiser How do you deal with the fact the future you could have had together is gone? you could also be a billionaire by now if you knew how to invest, you have enough to think about our universe, no reason to think about parallel universes Im loosing my wife and my best friend, and I dont know how to process and deal with that. by re-building your life on a foundation that doesn't depend on outs…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:47 PM
2

Am I ok asking her to just go already? There are multiple layers to this: 1) generally it's better to keep distance for safety reasons after divorce talks (false allegations) 2) your kid has the interest to keep her close 3) emotionally you should move on and keep therefore distance 4) out of respect towards you, since she is probably already dating, she should move out so overall, yes, it makes sense to ask her but you should do it discretely and with respect.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:39 PM
4

How do I learn to be ok with being alone? what do you value? knowledge? wealth? faith? whatever it is, pursue it and you will find contentment.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 11:59 AM
8

I found out she cheated, and she told me she doesn’t love me anymore. naturally she tells you that after being caught At first, I blamed myself completely — like I failed as a husband, failed my family, failed everything we built. jfc, why do guys keep doing that? she literally cheated on you and betrayed your family, so NO you are not to blame knowing she’s meeting someone else. Watching this in front of me is honestly breaking me. she's a fraud and cheat, you are still under her spell. be happ…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 11:54 AM
2

You are saying: "I always looked past her faults". That's the difference. You knew that a relationship requires to accept imperfections and you cared about your relationship. She on the other hand kept piling up her grievances because deep down, as usual, she doesn't think it goes both ways. She thinks she deserves more and if she doesn't get it then you failed her. She didn't try to save your marriage because that would mean putting in effort. Of course you could have been a better servant to h…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 01:41 AM
2

sure, my point was rather: realize their motivations then your fear turns into knowledge
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 09:13 PM
1

because she thinks she can milk you a bit more later on this way, don't fall for it
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 08:28 AM
3

When Should I Divorce? Simple rule: longer marriage = worse divorce. In other words: do it asap. she constantly compares me to others—friends or “friends of friends”—who have more. No matter what I give her, it’s never enough. she doesn't love you, she only loves what you can provide. She creates problems out of very small things she has no self-control She refuses to communicate or discuss things. It’s always her way. Food is always her choice Her care is fake she sees your relationship just as…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 08:21 AM
13

She said I neglected her, never took her side, and over 12 years of marriage it’s become too many cycles of me expressing love and then being neglectful. Do you actually believe her? Question: what did she do? A relationship goes both ways, so why is it all on you? Reality is the other gender loves to tell these stories because taking responsibility is much harder than playing the victim. I apologized for the mistakes I’ve made. I asked for forgiveness, and another chance. She said she’s done. S…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 08:01 AM
3

She’s been my best friend for decades and I’ve lost her. you never had her, it was just your turn, that's how modern relationships work How do I keep my feelings in check and be mature? Love is a biological mechanism. Your brain has turned on the love switch, wait for it to fade just like it faded for her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 07:44 AM
2

My biggest fear in dating a women with kids is that at some point I'll be expected to contribute fincancialky to easing their kids. why do you think single mothers are the only ones available to you to begin with? What do you think goes on in the head of someone like that when they want to get closer to you? The other gender doesn't see inherent value in us, it's all about the things we can provide. This can be money, status,... Just ask yourself what do you think she wants from you and you will…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 07:40 AM
20

1) Do not expect her to reconsider, the other gender always breaks up when they internally have already grown distant. She might already be dating/cheating. Monkey branching is a real thing. 2) Modern marriage is a trap. It does nothing but complicate things as soon as the break up happens. Do not repeat this mistake. Since no fault divorce laws were introduced loyalty vows are empty promises until it becomes convenient to separate. 3) Love is a temporary biological mechanism with an expiration …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:58 AM
14

The issue isn't that we are not gatekeeping, the issue is that they are gatekeeping. That said, don't expect justice on reddit, the site has misandrist discrimination written into its policies. In essence: reddit is completely fine with hate, exclusion and discrimination unless it targets a "vulnerable" group (=who can play victim more).
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 06:53 AM
6

Over 20 years married, maybe 5-7 good years. I was just told I have to support my spouse (that I want to separate from) to the tune of 60-70% of my take home pay per month. How is that even legal? what the actual fck?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 10:54 AM
4

I'm already mourning a family I spent 18 years building. She seems to think my kid (almost 10 years old) will be ok. I went through divorce as a kid at 13 and I was never OK after that. I'm so scared for my son. bold of you to assume she actually cares about kids and family. for her it's just another step to "self-fulfillment" probably, which, for whatever reason, usually means branching to the next partner
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 10:51 AM
11

apparently your mind hasn't fully recovered yet from the break up if this makes you worried, you need to let go and think about your own life. don't waste so much attention on her
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 09:34 PM
6

it is soooo hard to not think that we can work through this while living with each other and not fighting, how the fuck could we not make it work? she could make it work, she just doesn't want to. move on, she doesn't care about you. One of her major issues is something insensitive and stupid thing said off the cuff years ago. i highly doubt that, she is just coming up with excuses to both you and her own conscious. she is just chasing the next high. you'll see her dating new partners within nex…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 06:45 PM
1

She has never lied to me or cheated on me. I'm not sure where in my post it made it seem like that, but that's not the case. it sounded to me she gas-lid you about the status of your relationship and surprised you with a divorce. im sry if i misunderstood you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 06:28 PM
9

Do you think it is possible to stay friends and if so, do you have any advice for me during this time? Why would you want to be a friend with a liar and a cheat? She is already pursuing something with someone else, but said she always wants me apart of her life. she just wants you as backup buddy, move on. stop feeding her with attention
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 11:35 AM
9

She left in the summer moved out in December and after months of weird vibes she just admitted she’s going on dates again women always break up when they are already emotionally disconnected, you should be happy she didn't already date BEFORE breaking up I don’t understand it as just 3 months before she told me she was leaving me she sent me the most beautiful birthday card that referred to our soulmate theory of course when challenged that doesn’t exist now. soul mates don't exist, it's a fanta…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 11:29 AM
4

Women do not have a sense of honor or consider their word important like men do. because men get punched into the dirt if they behave like that, we learn very quickly that we have no worth unless we earn it
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:16 AM
6

My wife asked for a divorce on Feb 20th. We agreed on one thing, not to bring our dates home. do NOT live with your soon to be ex, she could make up false abuse charges Our home was natural territory. She agreed. 1 week later she’s accidentally texts me that Dave was going to be late judge people based on their actions, she already starts lying I asked her if Dave was there and she said yes. Mind you, this is LESS than a month after asking for the divorce. its called monkey branching and its har…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:12 AM
3

Realize romantic love is a temporary biological mechanism. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Realize building your life on a modern marriage is like building on sand, learn from your mistake and don't fall for the same trap again. Lawyer up to protect yourself. Do not trust her words, only watch her actions and react accordingly. Also get out of the house ASAP, she could make up accusations while you are still living there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 11:14 PM
4

RUN. Do not believe her, not a single word. She doesn't care about you anymore, she only cares about herself. She is just buying time, probably to find the next guy she can get. Read up monkey branching. Don't feel sad, love always has an expiration date. It's the biological norm for humans.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 05:08 PM
1

The smashing part is still playing with fire
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 04:06 AM
1

Terrible advice. The stats tell you what to expect. Modern marriage is a trap, it is by design a one-sided burden. Following your heart means turning off your rational mind to get tricked by a "love-high" that will eventually fade. Love is a biological mechanism and evolved to be temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:33 PM
6

It's biologically, I can't stress enough that "love bonding" is a biological mechanism to keep parents together until children are old enough to be provided by a single person. That happens to be a few years. That's why "love" should never be the only deciding factor for marriage. In fact with current divorce laws it's probably never a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:10 PM
4

I guess my situation fits the classic pattern where she no longer sees me as the man she can rely on. don't blame yourself, a relationship is about a shared burden. you did your part, when it was her turn she got cold feet. in other words: she used you and throws you now away out of convenience. take that as a lesson for the future and keep that in mind whenever you meet someone new.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 10:57 PM
10

Looks like a classic "the grass is greener" situation. The love high has faded and instead of trusting in what you've built together she longs for another high. You can't do anything about it, modern marriage is too fragile to be relied on. Honestly be happy it's happening now instead of later, keeps the cost low. Abort the ship before it's too late.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 04:07 PM
16

Talk to a lawyer, file for divorce yourself and then watch her get into a relationship a few weeks after because she was likely cheating for months prior. They never act like this without a backup man, they are addicted to attention. The only people who you could really trust are your close relatives.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:43 AM
3

It sounds like you are trying to fill a hole, I suggest you first learn to live alone before rushing into relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:04 PM
4

Love is a lie. Every love is based on selfish reasons and conditional. Humans cooperate because it is beneficial not because of vague concecepts in the clouds
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 06:29 AM
3

What you experience is your brain not being able to process what's happening. You've lived under certain expectations how the world works and built your life around these expectations. Now you have to realize that these expectations are not grounded in reality. You expect that if you give your best then love will be given back to you but in reality love is an arbitrary feeling. You expect that if you are loyal then your partner stays loyal but in reality humans are selfish. You expect that marri…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 12:05 AM
2

Great to hear man, now you are free. Just remember to not repeat the mistake, don't throw yourself at the next one. Keep your distance and independence.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 11:06 PM
10

Do NOT get married, it's a legal contract that has no benefit but plenty of risks for you. Prenups are not bulletproof. Under current divorce laws marriage has nothing to do with relationship bonding, the only thing it connects are your wallets.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:13 PM
2

"Not sure yet" means she is in the process of dating already and just tries to delay the divorce process for her comfort and benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 10:36 PM
3

She is protecting her ego by projecting her vile behavior on you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 10:29 PM
9

She didn't want you to come to the meetings, she just wanted to set you up for more child support/less custody
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 03:26 AM
3

Either she is legally unfit or not. If she is unfit all her requests are null and she gotta get escorted to some professional. If she is fit you gotta fulfill her wish asap and file divorce. You'll be broke but your mental health is more valuable.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 09:31 AM
2

Jeez, so much to unpack here. Listen: First of all: The entire point of marriage is to stay together even when love eventually fades. I usually preach that modern marriage has lost this essential component and is therefore pointless however it's still disappointing to see a religious man like you treat his vows with that much disrespect. Even worse you make it sound like you married in a rush. Secondly: You have decided to marry a non-religious girl, so don't complain about her lack of belief. A…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 11:23 AM
3

Well, every year you stay married is another year of shared income.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 11:45 AM
1

Because some decades ago no-fault divorce became the norm which has completely broken the purpose of marriage. The entire point of marriage was to bind two people together but if it can be broken anytime for any reason then what's the point. If my partner can leave me regardless of marriage or not then why even bother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 03:28 AM
3

I made some points before going into marriage marriage is a trap. do not marry unless you enjoy being a financial slave and being at the mercy of another human
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:43 PM
2

When you fall in love your brain goes through heavy rewiring. You essentially have to untangle this mess and rewire it back to a single state. Naturally this feels hard but will happen naturally over time, it's just a question of endurance and patience. If you have back pain this usually suggests a lack of exercise. I suggest you start slowly with walking and light jogging which will help your back. You don't need to go to the gym, it's enough to get some resistance bands which will also be soft…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 10:08 AM
13

Understand how monkey branching works. They always try to make sure to have the next partner ready before they hit you with divorce. She is acting "normal" now because her backup failed. As soon as she has a new replacement ready she will repeat the pattern and then might file for divorce. You basically already lost her, your marriage is a ticking time bomb. No amount of marriage counseling will be able to change her nature. If she thinks it's ok to monkey branch then your only hope is that she …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 09:48 AM
20

"Emotional affair" is just an euphemism for monkey branching setup
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 08:43 PM
4

I was wondering, what type of characteristics o should avoid in dating. And what kind of women i should marry etc do NOT marry. marriage is a trap. what marriage PRETENDS to be is a lifelong bond between two people but it's actually just a contract that can be broken ANY time for ANY reason with a partner that CAN and most likely WILL throw you under the bus to get legal and financial advantage over you. you could be the best husband and dad on earth, your partner might just get bored with you, …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 09:39 PM
3

I really want to date but my self confidence and self esteem was crushed from my divorce. Don't make your self esteem dependent on outside approval. Learn to love yourself again. How will anyone want to date me when I'm depressed and stressed out all the time? They don't and honestly you shouldn't want to engage them either, it's a giant waste of time. Focus on yourself. I'm financially ruined and will never be able to support my next girlfriend. Why do you even want to support someone else to b…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 12:48 PM
7

We didn’t divorce over infidelity, but now I’m thinking maybe she had something with this person while we were still married. Just a month ago she asked about getting back together, and now this? it's called monkey branching and very common
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 12:34 PM
3

not sure why so many women lose that in LRT’s even when the love is still there, for some. love is neither mutual nor unconditional, it's just a chemical high that slowly fades. the other gender mostly just loves being loved but that's about it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 09:12 PM
12

Be happy that your kids can spend some quality time with their dad outside the influence of your ex. Also instead of chasing girls better focus on yourself and on your children, what makes you think other women will be different. There are definitely a few loyal girls in the world but they probably aren't single at your age. Dating is russian roulette at that point. Also why do you think they are "thriving", she is just using this poor fool for her selfish desires.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 07:29 PM
21

Best possible advice: Stop chasing girls, it's a pointless waste of time. Focus on yourself. Learn to enjoy solo life. The other gender knocks on your door automatically when you are in a good position, although letting them in isn't recommended.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 06:45 AM
6

it's dangerous to stay with her. the longer you stay, the higher the chance she files divorce with fraudulent abuse accusations against you. she clearly does not respect you, so we can safely assume she will abuse the law against you. do NOT under ANY circumstance inform her about your plans. surprise her with the divorce and then IMMEDIATELY leave the house with all documents you need. maybe even get a witness with you. also your kids deserve not to stay under her bad influence so get as much p…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 08:43 AM
17

She even asked me why I didn’t fight for her, which left me confused because she was the one who asked for the divorce in the first place. Relationships are always about them feeling special and loved and not about mutual love. So naturally even when divorcing they might try to get some validation. It's like squeezing the lemon dry before throwing it into the trash. went on a date once, and she found out, which caused some tension. Then, just a few weeks ago June 11. She came over to my house an…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 02:34 PM
6

I still get panic attacks. I feel stuck and lost. I’m struggling with depression, and I really don’t know how to move forward. You are free now. Learn new skills, focus on your physical and mental health. Become what you want to be. There's no one holding you back now. If you need validation from outside to feel good then that's an issue. Learn to love yourself and get comfortable with solo life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 12:10 PM
9

Curious to understand if anyone was able to find love (happy fulfilling) after they got divorced and dated in mid to late 30s? fulfilling love does not exist, it's just a temporary chemical high. the disney fantasy of love is just that. you are better off to focus on yourself and learn to live alone. ironically this will prob greatly improve your chances with women too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 07:22 PM
3

Use the experiences you made to grow, use the pain as fuel. Get your priorities straight and move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 04:55 PM
1

I wouldn't stay in the same home to avoid false allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:04 AM
1

Worst case do it with hands.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 02:12 PM
1

when i said sharing bed i implicitly included sex
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 11:51 AM
2

with offering my affection i mean offering physical deeds like sharing the bed or hugs and to lend her my ear and trying to emphasize. for this a feeling of shared humanity is sufficient even when lacking love.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 11:24 AM
2

And what does it mean (to you personally) to stay on someone's side if you don't even like them? How does it look like, what are the actions? Staying on her side means first of all living together (at least offering it to her), sharing resources, offering her my help and affection and not sharing the bed with anyone else. That would be my interpretation of a marriage vow. I understand that the choice can be made to be supportive, let's say. To cook lunch or to wash dishes. To watch TV together. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 11:15 AM
3

Basically, what he finds out that he doesn't want her anymore, and doesn't even particularly like her anymore. He brings it up one way or another, but as it usually turns out, there's only so much one can fix - and it's not enough. What should he do? "Should" necessitates a frame of obligation. Whether he feels like he has a moral obligation entirely depends on his internal thoughts. From a legalistic perspective: In an ideal world where vows actually mean something he is supposed to stay on her…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 10:45 AM
5

It's quite simple. They subconsciously make up a million reasons to justify their selfish decisions. In some sense every human including men is naturally selfish however men are taught from very early on that their self worth has to be created by hard work and ethics. We thrive on loyalty because it is part of our supposed identity. The other gender however is taught that no matter what they do they can always achieve self worth by parenthood. Once upon a time both genders were held accountable …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 10:05 AM
1

i would say regardless whether you actually live alone or with someone else, it's better to be able to live alone. desperation is a source of lot of issues.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 02:44 PM
8

In my opinion your actual issue is that a single life seems to scare you. Don't make yourself dependent on outside validation. Love in the end is just a temporary chemical high. Feel free to date and have fun but marriage under most western laws is basically a trap, don't repeat the mistake. Instead focus on self-growth and on your child.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 08:17 AM
11

Marriage in its current form only exists to move resources from men to their partners to keep up the birthrate. It doesn't matter anymore if those children get to grow up in a healthy family. Humans are selfish, contracts must be enforced to have any meaning, yet the supposedly most important contract can be broken any time for any reason. It just doesn't work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 07:39 AM
33

Her brain knows she is betraying you, so to protect her self-image she makes up all these accusations as retroactive justification. Now you may ask yourself: "Why would anyone do such a thing?" It's quite simply: They do not love men, they only love how they make them feel. They are only loyal to their feelings. I wouldn't even be surprised if she already got a replacement for you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 01:41 PM
4

hit the wall
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 02:14 AM
15

She was never yours, it was just your turn. Love is like heroin, naturally you see things differently when your mind is sober.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 01:16 PM
4

Men are not loved for what they are, they are loved for what they provide. There's no inherent value seen in us, that's why phrases like "women and children first" are even a thing. We love by protecting and providing for our loved ones. The other side views us more like a status object to brag about to their friends and wants to feel special. Look at Japan, how do people compensate for their lack of love? Some men compensate by projecting their love even on body pillows because male love has to…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 07:18 AM
7

Nah, the system consistently sells the lie of marriage. Marriage is supposed to be a bond for life but since people can get divorced for whatever reason it is just a one-sided financial burden. This burden still overwhelmingly targets men. Yet men are supposed to marry to found family units, even though half of the time it ends in disaster. The second lie is that you can have reasonable control over the outcome, while in fact both you and your partner made that decision under hormone high and yo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 06:42 AM
2

What are you guys thoughts and insight into this? Don't fall for the trap a second time. nothing I have thought of seems like a good idea to ever get married smart Hopefully your insight can lead me to a good decision and anyone else who reads what you guys have to say... only let her move in if your son is ok with it imo, family first. if he is ok and she is not crazy then go cohabitate but be aware that every relationship has an expiration date.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 04:53 PM
3

her entire backstory is a red flag. also what exactly do you mean with "something serious". if you mean marriage, you shouldn't marry anyone who is likely to earn less than you. it's quite obvious she just seeks financial support. you can have fun with her but if she insists on more you gotta leave ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 04:44 PM
8

first of all do yourself and your kids a favor and take care of yourself. get some fresh air and go jogging, this will help clear up your mind and get some much needed dopamine into your brain. next thing is you should realize, according to your statements, that you did NOT fail your family. your wife failed your family. your only mistake was to believe in marriage but everyone does mistakes. you've hopefully learned your lesson that modern marriage is a trap, that vows are just empty promises a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 09:55 AM
1

It's normal that people behave differently on the hormone high. Falling in love is as powerful as heroin. She's not a monster, just selfish like most humans are. That's why modern marriage doesn't work. Traditional marriage is supposed to counteract the hormone low by chaining both sides. Modern marriage benefits cheaters. Take it light with medication buddy, wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 12:47 AM
3

It's typical for them. They do not talk about divorce until they already got a replacement ready. Please remember: you didn't fail your family because you kept fighting for the relationship until the end. You've learned your lesson, better sooner than later. Cut your losses now and don't repeat the same mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 10:30 PM
2

Marriage basically has lost all its benefits for men, you cannot safely invest in building up your family without losing everything on a whim. It used to be a tool for family stability by essentially chaining both partners to one another but now it's more like gasoline on the inevitable split.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 04:23 PM
20

Marriage is a scam and you fell for it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 05:30 AM
1

There is no justice. You have learned your lesson, now cut the losses. You have emotionally recovered when you accept that love is just the hormone high before the free fall.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 08:44 AM
3

"no-fault" is a legal term meaning that divorces happen without blaming any side so feeling "being done wrong" is completely irrelevant in todays courts. in the old days before "no-fault" there had to be determined which side was "at fault" for the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 07:04 PM
1

What am I missing from what you have read? I thought about asking him to cook his own meal but then I have the issue of our kids seeing us eating two different things and say well if daddy can have something different why can't I! i was talking about this quote from the original post After (several!) pages of comments I read: “Sorry I’m struggling to keep up with the comments. I absolutely see now since talking to you all that he needs to sort himself out. We’ll be having a discussion after work…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 10:54 PM
10

women don't value men the same way men value women, they only value the things men offer/give
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 08:36 PM
2

dont fall for the trap, it's his choice what he wants to eat, the fact she doesn't want him to make or buy his own food is an issue purely created by her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 08:29 PM
11

of course they exist but logically those women are most likely already in a steady relationship. single women are single for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 02:42 AM
2

She is essentially saying as soon as she finds an alternative partner she will dump you. Usually the longer you are married the higher the price for divorce as you can't build up your personal networth before, so in general it makes sense to hurry up the process and not let her end it on her terms. However since you are married since two decades the damage is prob already done. Furthermore it is interesting that she would openly say it instead of just confronting you after finding a new partner …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 09:57 PM
3

she has already made up her mind, if you run after her you only come off desperate and women despise that. she clearly disrespects what you gave and offered to her. she likely already has her next partner ready, women don't end relationships on their terms unless they have a plan B. if someone acts like that just let them fail and eat popcorn. your best hope having her again is letting her crawl back. it is best to just do your own thing, forget this unfaithful backstabber.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 07:54 PM
13

Ah yes, consensually dating someone adult is "predator" behaviour. Just admit you view women as infants.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 04:18 AM
29

And this is why you don't marry, not worth the risks.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 04:16 AM
5

Sounds like excuses. If she were attracted to you then she would spent time with you, simple as that. Or she has someone else on the side. Either way intimacy is required to make relationships work.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 05:22 AM
3

if she's the problem then divorce does solve the problem the worst thing that can happen is her using the time for planning revenge, better get distance asap
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 09:09 AM
3

there is nothing to gain from meeting her but a lot to lose
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 04:10 PM
8

women are just humans, never trust other people outside your close family and even that is not always a given
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 05:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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