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IllustriousChest Archive

View 4 posts and 72 comments by IllustriousChest on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

That's the plan. Playing the long game. Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:05 AM
48

Five years. No, we have not. I’m trying to be as normal as possible while I save enough money to pull the trigger and never look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:36 PM
40

Because I’m saving money to leave and not look back once I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:35 PM
2

I am so glad I've found this sub. Sometimes I get down on myself for not being ready to leave yet. then I remember I don't have to be anywhere I'm not yet.. I just have to get there. thank you for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 03:07 AM
8

Thank you <3 Plotting my exit and working on myself daily. I'm finally starting to believe that I deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:06 AM
5

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:06 AM
23

Disgusting. Glad you got away from that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:28 PM
31

I would think seeing how he interacts with children, especially for more than a moment. Or discussing views on child rearing in general. It’s hard to call. The level of responsibility for babysitting is nowhere near the amount of keeping someone alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:02 PM
2

Thanks! Any places you recommend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 07:31 PM
13

I am!! I’ve been thinking about getting more actual loungewear and not just wearing tee shirts and shorts all day. As a remote worker it’s hard to not want to put in no effort lol but I think it will go a long way in improving my self image.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 06:14 PM
13

They do! NVBF doesn’t “see the point” of it. He won’t be seeing what I buy either. I got it because I finally had good enough insurance to do it ha. It was really hindering my exercise and weight loss efforts and I had been thinking about one since I was 17 (I’m 27 now) and I finally did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:59 PM
11

I think I will!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:21 PM
30

Honestly I still wear my post surgery bras. I have only one real bra and I didn’t buy that until this past March 😅 but now that I don’t have to pay $65 for one, I suppose I can go to Target and splurge a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:35 PM
3

You are absolutely right. It has been hard for me to believe that I don’t deserve the things that he’s done. But when I think about my flaws in this relationship, like not trusting him (you can guess why) and not being fully communicative about anything, it all points back to him. I don’t care about fixing these flaws because what would I be getting out of it? The lies wouldn’t stop. The betrayal wouldn’t stop. So what incentive do I have to be a better girlfriend? None. Once he got upset with m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 01:00 PM
3

No, they cannot. I make more than pretty much everyone. I am often helping them more than the other way around. They can do that, and that is my plan. But it’s not going to be while he’s gone. I don’t mind saving up $1500. I was going to have people there no matter what. And I have already gotten them involved in my relationship when I thought it was going to be over. I am afraid of telling them and I end up not leaving/going back because I’ve done it before. Once I bring them in, there is no go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 12:56 PM
3

This is a good reframing. My LVBF is about go on a trip to his hometown, where I'm certain he'll be cheating. While I bide my time and plan my exit, I'm going to think about things this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 07:20 PM
1

He wouldn’t come after me, but the landlord would and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take. As a woman and a black woman, I’m not going to try to play a game when those rules don’t apply to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 11:19 AM
2

Just caught a glance at his phone to see that he's downloaded a Second Phone Number app and something called Text Now. Everything is fuel to the fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:54 AM
2

I know I do. I'm finally seeing it. Now to believe it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:56 PM
2

Thank you <3 My only friend here lives with her on-off boyfriend so, no disrespect to her, but I don't want to be around that. There are several hotels I could go to for a night, and I plan on having that friend or another that lives an hour away there with me when I tell him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:55 PM
3

I definitely am. I have way less empathy than before when I wanted to leave him--I was terrified of how he was going to make it without me. Now I do not care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:54 PM
1

I absolutely will <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:20 PM
1

Thank you so much for the reassurance <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 06:48 PM
1

Oh I cried for like an hour last night ha. I'm practicing grey rock and zoning out while he talks to me about things. It's very hard, but I'm doing it. I am def getting my ducks in a row. Not letting on to anything until I do. As of right now, the place is home 3 hours away. When I tell him, I will leave that night and have someone with me to take me where I need to go. Then I will have someone from home come up and go back to get all my things the next day. I am trying to prep for any and all r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 05:32 PM
1

Definitely not sharing my finances with someone who barely has any. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 05:16 PM
3

I have a fantastic family (and this is not a dig at you at all), so I am so glad to feel supported in that way. I'm also very glad that you did it in spite of them. Family are the last people that should be toxic. I could move to another place here, but I know I could do it lol so there's not too much novelty there for me. I'm okay with taking a step back where I know I can, especially since I'm still new at my job. Yeah, my car has a few things it needs to get done, which I'll actually get done…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:19 PM
1

We are both on the lease. I explained in an earlier post that I wasn't going to risk my own housing situation just to try to sneak him on there. This is a very professional, by-the-book complex we live in. I'm not doing to take a ding to my credit either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:16 PM
1

No, he does not know about them at all. I work fully remote anyway, and he knows that I do side work remotely as well, but he doesn't know how much I make. He has no track or sight of my finances at all. I would never share that with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:04 PM
1

Yeah, I had to when I applied. Why?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:03 PM
5

Thank you for sharing this with me. If you don't mind, can I PM you about some things strategy and plan-wise? That is what I plan on doing. The end goal is leaving, but I accept that I am not financially or mentally ready. I just got a well-paying job and I have some personal loans that I took out while I was between jobs that I'd like to pay off. I went through my GTFO to-do list yesterday and realized I had already paid one off, so I felt good about making progress. My car is already paid off,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:56 PM
5

I am, I'm booking an appointment for this week. Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:41 PM
3

I don’t mind. He is my first boyfriend. We started dating a little after I turned 21, and I hadn’t ever been with anyone in a serious relationship before that. He’s also only my second sexual partner. A lot of my insecurity stems from feeling like a later bloomer in life. I didn’t have sex for the first time until a couple months before we met, and I kind of jumped at the opportunity to have some consistent sex and lake attention again. For a long time, I felt like I had to make it here because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:50 PM
1

I haven’t moved things to storage yet but I will start and place things there once I begin to buy new stuff. My plan is just to move back to my childhood come at the moment. Do you mind if I PM you ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:48 PM
6

Thank you. I have read the lease. $1500 to break, and from the date of notice, rent + $100 is expected to be paid. I don't plan on giving more than two months' notice. I am aggressively paying down debt and saving up that $1500. Definitely keeping quiet about the plans. Vanishing without a word or trace is unlikely because when he is gone, it is usually in my car. If not, he's not gone unless he's out of town. Planning to buy some new (or old) things and put them in a storage unit nearby. By the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:31 AM
6

Absolutely. Keep me in your thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:06 AM
2

Thank you <3 I know that for sure. It is a hard thing to have to initiate as a thought and remind myself of, but I am doing it. I have to keep me and my pup safe above all else. I am glad you made it out safely. I cannot wait to be part of that club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:39 AM
1

He is a bad person and a terrible boyfriend, but not a sinister person. But even I can realize that I can't let that cloud my judgment. I have people who I can call, locally and max 3 hours away to be here for me when I need them to. All I have to do is say the word. I respect your input, and I thank you for it <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:32 AM
11

I appreciate this. I won't ask why, as much as I want to. I've always asked why and he's told me it doesn't mean anything or flat out ignored me when I've spoken. That's what the printed screenshots are for. Not even going to give him the opportunity to deny it and gaslight in the process. I'm not blind. I wish vanishing was more feasible but it really doesn't seem like it. When he's gone, it's in my car. Otherwise, he's not gone. I am going to tell him, give him that time limit, and have my peo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:29 AM
4

He does. Up until recently, we shared locations with each other, so I knew where he was always. Frequently moving, so I know he's driving. Never in one place for too long. Only other places he would go is to the studio (hadn't mentioned the rapper part yet) and I know where that is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:27 AM
8

I'd believe that more (not a dig at you) if I didn't know where he was literally at all times. I have an inside camera (Ring) that shows everything and anything that goes on in here. But I see what you're saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:19 AM
4

When you told him, where did you tell him? At your place? I want to do this so that there is as little contact with him during and after as possible. It is extremely unlikely he will ever be gone without being in my car and being gone long enough to move all my things. Vanishing without a word or a trace is the thing I am most apprehensive about. When he does his food delivery for work, it's in my car. When he goes on trips, I rent cars for him, so I have to meet up with him to return them. I do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:00 AM
5

Yes. I don’t want any ties to him or any impact to my credit, especially since he cannot afford the full rent in his own. It will ding me as well. And I’m not paying for a place I’m not staying in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:33 AM
3

Okay, thanks. I thought you meant tell BF that. I just don’t want to go to them like some sad little girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:35 AM
4

And these friends have already been blocked so they can’t contact me through/for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:18 AM
15

You put it fantastically. Why do I owe him kindness?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:18 AM
13

Oh absolutely. To be such a piece of shit he’s really sensitive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:17 AM
14

That just sounds so harsh. But maybe that’s what I need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:10 AM
4

I will. I won’t tell them anything yet because they are a very anxious bunch (my family) and I don’t want my friends to act weird when they come around. They don’t hide their feelings about people well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:10 AM
6

Yes. My family is a godsend. They will never not be there for me. As are my friends, many of whom know our history. I am confident they won’t see this as a loss for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:03 AM
10

Tell me about it. My shit list (which I had before even joining this sub) is four pages long. Front and back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:55 AM
7

Disappearing while out sounds like the scariest part, tbh. But I will think through it and figure out how to make it work. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:51 AM
5

Oh we just broke a streak of 8 months without sex. He wouldn’t suspect anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:51 AM
12

Yes, that is what I meant. Thank you! Is that also known as grey rock?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:49 AM
22

Ha. I called the police on him almost 2 years ago because he threatened to throw my things out- this was after the fight where I went through his computer and found videos of him and her from trips he made when we were long distance. I did that at my fathers suggestion, he couldn’t believe I would do that despite him SAYING he would throw my things out, now he hates my dad and doesn’t ever want to be around him and he claims every time someone knocks on the door, he’s scared. Because when the po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:49 AM
12

If I can ask, how did you do the dissociating? How'd you think about things during that time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:11 AM
6

He'd probably have a friend come and get him or take an Uber/Lyft as a last resort. He knows more about cars than I do, unfortunately, but still not a lot. He's not gonna ride public transport. We live in a suburbs-y area now so PT doesn't come down here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:08 AM
5

Ha! The threads thing is funny. Small inconveniences bother him the most, so that would be hilarious to watch. His computer is fingerprint protected, so no dice there. But I will use those 5 free days to strengthen my mind and heart...and take Xanax to stop myself from being anxious about his time there anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:06 AM
13

Thank you. That is definitely something I will give more thought to. There just is rarely a time where he'd be gone and it be long enough or not in my car. but I will think on it. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:04 AM
7

Talking with the landlord is also part of the plan. I just am not quite sure how to describe the situation. The last thing I want--and this just may be my anxious mind--is them being like "okay..so?" I doubt it'll get back to him because, like a typical man, he's not involved with how things get done or how it's run, so he's not going to talk to, much less email, the leasing office himself. He would have no idea how to be a functioning adult if it weren't for me, and he's barely that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:03 AM
6

He and his friend, we'll call him Al, have known this girl (who i'll call Nat) since high school. Idk what's happened between them, but Al doesn't like Nat. Al's GF, though, is friends with Nat. Not quite sure how, because Al's GF knows that he and Nat have slept together before, but not my biz. My BF spent today assuring me that he would not hang out with Al and his GF because he doesn't want to risk running into Nat, who I'm sure he will see anyway. Even if he doesn't, I've got more than enoug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:02 AM
13

Thank you so much for this post. Thank you for reassuring me of the "long game." I am glad you got out, and I can't wait to tell you that I've joined your ranks of freedom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:40 PM
29

That is the plan. While it won't be next week, it is absolutely the plan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:38 PM
25

That is exactly what I plan to do. Starting with my books...I believe detachment while I'm still here is the next step. I know it may sound dumb in the context of my post, but I stopped caring too much a long time ago. It just still naturally hurts, you know? I'm not Teflon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:37 PM
14

The difficult part about that though, is that anytime he'd be gone, it'd likely be in my car and I obviously cannot leave that behind. That's why my plan is to say "I have this evidence, we're not talking about it, you've obviously been lying, you have x days to get your shit together. I (and my dog) are leaving." They are already in my hidden folder. I plan o printing them out this week to have them in physical form whenever I think about "maybe it's not as bad as I think...". Since I've been t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:36 PM
4

Yeah, we're both on the lease. This complex is airtight and by the book; I wasn't going to jeopardize my living situation by trying to sneak him onto the lease just to throw him out later. And we live right in front of the leasing office, so it'd be v v obvious someone else was here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:32 PM
24

I think the last time he went home was April. We hadn't had sex since February. I don't think he caught anything, because I would know exactly when and where he'd have to go and get treated. He uses my car, and we shared our locations with each other then. He couldn't get it past me if he tried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:30 PM
31

He wouldn't be able to, financially. The funny thing is he's spent so much time bitching about where we live that he's desperate to go back home anyway. But he wants us to move there. I told him today one of my biggest apprehensions about that is moving back to his hometown, several hours from mine and knowing no one but him, just to be closer to her. i've already told myself I'll be damned if I uproot my life to another state, away from the people who would never treat me like this, just to get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:29 PM
18

No, he's not insinuating he's stalking her. He talked all about avoiding a very close friend of his because she is a mutual friend of his girlfriend, although he (the friend) doesn't like her. But this friend also slept with her at some point so... No definitive timeline, but gradually working on tasks. Savings is started. Did a lot of decluttering before we moved. Haven't reached out to them yet because I make more money than pretty much all of them (not to be rude or condescending), but they c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:27 PM
21

And I don't even know if vanishing is the thing to do. I was going to talk to the office alone, terminate the lease and say "here's 30/however many days to get it together and leave." I already have several screenshots of things i'm going to print out, like the comments he's left to this girl on IG, and there won't be any discussing about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:36 PM
22

It was so incredibly difficult sitting there listening to him lie and try to placate me. But I don't have the energy to scream and cry in the face of someone who no longer cares. I'm very familiar with the area, and have well enough credit to get approved for somewhere (unlike him), so I know a few places I could go. Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:31 PM
42

Definitely won't be able to do it in 8 days. I am okay with saving up the $1500 it will take to get it together and break the lease. I got some good advice that I can talk to my leasing office and explain the situation. Shout out to r/survivinginfidelity. i've got a few personal loans floating around that i want to pay off. I'd rather move smarter and pay that down (I have a much better paying job). No friends here to move in with--I'd find another place here or go back home (3 hours away), but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:29 PM
56

No, i don't think he has an idea that it's coming. I'm not letting him get that idea because I don't want to give anything away. Dissociating, I think, is a good next step. I bought the codependency lit from the handbook, so I'm going to get working on those. I just want to transmute this energy into something useful? Is it getting more aggressive with my savings? Is it working out more? I don't know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:07 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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