Insertopinionhere Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
8	How do I stop feeling unworthy? This is straight up childhood issues. Logically you “should” have confidence. You’re tall, good looking, smart...etc. but internally you don’t FEEL confident. What could be making you feel unworthy? A lot of times we carry our childhood issues with us into our adult lives and until we resolve those issues they’ll continue to wreak havoc on our adult relationships. For example, let’s say you had a mother that always criticized you (she thought she was helping you. That’s how her parents got her t…	/r/seduction	28/05/18 05:14 PM
2	Building your self esteem, by doing whatever you want to do in that exact moment If you'd like to read more on the topic I would recommend two books: Mindfulness in plain English The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer Both great books on quieting our overactive mind and listening to our true selves aka souls aka heart aka gut...etc.	/r/seduction	23/05/18 07:02 AM
13	Building your self esteem, by doing whatever you want to do in that exact moment This seems to rely on thinking too much imo. The jist of your post is basically be true to yourself. The problem with a lot of guys is that they don’t even know who they are. When they stop and try and think about it there’s a hundred voices in their head. Their mom, their dad, their friends, society, girls...etc. The list is endless. Eventually you just throw up your hands because you can’t tell if that’s what YOU really want or if it’s just what you’ve been told by the people around you. In my…	/r/seduction	20/05/18 04:52 PM
1	Why Do I Keep Getting Ghosted? Hmmm. You’ve got a point it is a little awkward to make small talk up to the date but at the very minimum keeping in contact makes them feel a little more comfortable meeting with you versus meeting with somebody they haven’t talked to in a couple of days. In my experience over communication is better than lack of communication. I’m not taking about being needy but just staying in touch.	/r/seduction	27/04/18 06:59 PM
1	Why Do I Keep Getting Ghosted? Why the pause for 1-2 days before the meet up. Keep communication all the way up to the meet up. Seems a little strange to talk, pause for 1-2 days, and then try and set up a date. Just keep the convo going after suggesting a date.	/r/seduction	27/04/18 01:48 PM
1	How pointless is it to ask where I stand Children play games. Men state what they want and let it be known. If she’s interested good if not then move on. He clearly wants to lock her down. Go for it. If she’s not interested then he can move on. Why complicate things when the truth is a simple conversation away?	/r/seduction	04/04/18 09:37 PM
2	Emotional beings? Connect to your own emotions and you’ll be able to connect to theirs. Meditate.	/r/seduction	04/04/18 09:00 PM
15	How pointless is it to ask where I stand Don’t play games. If you’re interested say it and own it. If you want a relationship tell her and tell her you enjoy her company. If she says that she’s not interested then you move on and that’s that. Save yourself some heart ache and just pull the bandaid off instead of playing games. That what adult communication means. I highly recommend the book “Attached”.	/r/seduction	04/04/18 07:05 PM
12	My "friend" cucked me twice. How to handle this? Follow your instincts. You made this thread because something inside of you thinks something is off about this guy. Follow that instinct.	/r/seduction	02/04/18 06:07 AM
6	First date kino- greeting hug or not? Overthinking it, man. Do what feels natural to you.	/r/seduction	02/04/18 04:43 AM
22	Virgin in a fraternity... The only way you’re gonna improve is by working on your emotional and mental health. Spam approaching isn’t going do much for you unless you do something to address the root causes of your problems ie; low self-esteem and negative self talk. Proven steps to help you grow: Meditate — become conscious of your negative thinking. Become conscious of your emotions. Learn to let them come and go without pushing them away or clinging to them. Become more resilient in the face of strong emotions and an …	/r/seduction	29/03/18 05:07 AM
2	How did you raise your self-esteem? I struggled with the same thing. I’m not sure if you fit the bill but you might want to check out “codependent no more”. Feeling guilty for saying no and putting other people first is very common among codependents. It might help you in understand yourself a little more. Google the ACOA laundry list and see it resonates with you.	/r/seduction	12/03/18 03:41 AM
17	How did you raise your self-esteem? Read Self-compassion by Kristen Neff - A big part of low self-esteem is that you’re so hard on yourself. You have this critical inner voice that is unrelenting and unforgiving. Being self-compassionate helps you to be kinder to yourself, allows yourself to make mistakes, and basically doesn’t think the world is gonna end if something embarrassing happens. Self-compassion and self-acceptance are, imo, the foundation of of self improvement. Without those two qualities your path to self improvement…	/r/seduction	11/03/18 04:45 PM
2	What kind of woman are you looking for? One with a pulse.	/r/seduction	21/01/18 08:21 PM
2	worst date ever Honestly, yeah, if somebody is actively being rude and disrespectful there’s no reason for you to stay. Sounds like you’re not too good at gauging whether a girl is into you or not. You’ll get better at gauging interest and know when to cut her loose or invest more time. Youre young. There’s plenty of girls out there. Just learn to be out going and friendly. It’s much much easier to meet girls when your friendly than when you’re trying to act “cool” or tough.	/r/seduction	21/01/18 01:53 AM
3	worst date ever Sounds your taking her personal issues personally. She has bad communication skills and at the very minimum should have just said “I’m not really feeling a connection. I’m going to leave.” Granted you are both fairly young and your communication skills aren’t the best. You could’ve easily just “ is everything OK?” and if she responded negatively you could’ve just ended the date. I definitely wouldnt take it personally. Sounds like she had her own issues going on.	/r/seduction	21/01/18 01:28 AM
1	Asking a girl about what exactly went wrong and turned her off? Honestly she probably wouldn’t be able to tell you why. Liking somebody isn’t a conscious decision. It’s an intuitive decision. The same applies for guys or girls. You don’t punch in all the data and then you decide “I like them”. It’s an intuitive process where you feel somebody out and then you just sort of know. If somebody asked you why you would probably say “IDK, he’s just cool” or “I’m not sure but I got a weird/bad vibe”. Just try and be more mindful the next time and conscious of how yo…	/r/seduction	18/01/18 08:52 PM
1	How Do You Spend Less Time Thinking About Women Between Dates? Why Do You Think I Spend So Much Time Thinking About Her/Them? You gotta ask yourself those questions. Dig deeper. Maybe you think they’re the key to your happiness. Maybe you’re afraid of being rejected. Maybe you draw your self esteem from these dates/crushes. Sometimes it’s best to sit down and really ask yourself those questions and think long and hard about those answers. Everybody is different so your obsession might be for different reasons.	/r/seduction	14/01/18 05:34 PM
2	“I can never tell if you’re serious or sarcastic” Seems like you might be falling into danicng monkey territory. It’s ok to joke around sometimes but if you’re never genuine it’s hard to create a real connection because all they get are joking and teasing. You don’t have to fall into James Bond serious mode but just being real with her from time to time might help to build a real connection. If all you do is make jokes and tease her she might look at you as a clown instead of real man.	/r/seduction	13/01/18 09:15 PM
1	How do you deal with rejection when you have very little experience Dude, why tf are you arguing with people that are giving you advice? Clearly what you “know” isn’t working. How about you put down what you believe about yourself and about the world down and listen to people who have success and have been through the same shit you’ve been through.	/r/seduction	12/01/18 05:32 PM
6	How do you deal with rejection when you have very little experience You’re not a horribly looking dude. Shave you’re facial hair and groom your hair. Take care of your appearance. That will get you better reactions right off of the bat. Your lack of self-esteem is evident in the way that you take care of yourself. Make sure you’re dressing nicely. Checked out male fashion advice if you need to. Start with the bare minimum and then start working on your mindset. No reason to tie both arms behind your back if you don’t need to. You’re young, decent looking guy. Cl…	/r/seduction	12/01/18 12:16 AM
3	I was dumped this morning after three dates because the girl didn’t feel a connection, this keeps happening. How do you create a connection? Check out the book “Anxious to please”. It’s good book on being “nice” and a people pleaser. Also gives really good advice on being authentic and creating real connections.	/r/seduction	07/01/18 07:06 PM
2	Ultimate goal of self-confidence I’m not gonna beat a dead horse but I think you’d be surprised how forgiving a woman can be if you can make her feel positive emotions. Women are emotional creatures and if you can make them laugh, tease them, make them chase you they probably won’t even care what you do for work. Just food for thought, man. Sometimes we have to challenge our beliefs to be able to change our lives.	/r/seduction	06/01/18 09:31 AM
1	Ultimate goal of self-confidence But here's the problem I keep rubbing up against. What happens when I start putting things into action? Let's say I make a female friend or something like that. They'd have to know what I'm doing at some point. The truth is I don't have a career and may not be able to have one. And I'm in my 30s. I think that right there is considered highly unattractive. Or let's say I meet some woman from online (unlikely, given how crappy and cynical online dating is) if that turns into a date, I'd have to te…	/r/seduction	05/01/18 07:02 AM
2	Ultimate goal of self-confidence Have you ever thought to challenge the belief that your value comes from accomplishments, looks, money, career success? Is it so far outside of the realm of possibility that your value doesn't come from those things? Lets suspend belief for a second and just go with the idea that your value doesn't come from accomplishments, looks, money...or any of the other things that society is constantly telling us that we lack. Have you ever had a pet that you loved with all of you heart, maybe a younger s…	/r/seduction	04/01/18 06:48 AM
2	Ultimate goal of self-confidence Self acceptance > self confidence	/r/seduction	03/01/18 04:58 PM
2	Very frustrated disabled guy, needs a way forward.. anyone? I used to be a extremely socially anxious. If you’re going to get better you have to learn to live with your emotions, particularly anxiety. In my opinion the number one treatment for an overactive mind is meditation. Learn to train that big brain of yours. Learn to feel it in when you notice that’s its starting to go off the rails. Learn to be able to allow anxiety to be present but not overwhelm you. I avoided a lot of my life because of my anxiety too. I didn’t move out until I was in my 30s.…	/r/seduction	03/01/18 07:09 AM
3	Ultimate goal of self-confidence Women don’t need better. They just need a man that respects himself, understands his value, and accepts the person that he is. Sounds like you’re still not able to comprehend your value, don’t respect yourself, and are self-loathing. Until you learn to shed all of those negative beliefs about yourself women won’t want you. Why would they like you if you don’t even like yourself?	/r/seduction	03/01/18 06:21 AM
12	Ultimate goal of self-confidence Humans have inherent value. There is no comparing one vs another; it’s like trying to compare a rose to a diamond. They’re both beautiful in their own way. When I say “better” I mean in the traditional way that people compare themselves ie; physique, intelligence, money, “game”, social skills...etc. In that respect there will always be somebody better than you. Best to give up trying to compete with other and just become the best version of yourself and learn to accept any shortcomings that you …	/r/seduction	03/01/18 02:37 AM
54	Ultimate goal of self-confidence There will always be somebody better than you. Always. Best to focus on self-acceptance rather than trying to compare yourself to other people because you’ll away come up short.	/r/seduction	02/01/18 10:23 PM
1	Feeling pretty defeated right now. :/ We’ve all been there, man. Sounds like you’re not valuing yourself like you really should be. If you had somebody that you really cared about being treated like you’re being treated by this girl what advice would you give them? Remember that you’re a young good looking (we all have potential) guy and if you put yourself out there tons of girls would be attracted to you. Don’t let the rejection of one girl get you down. Truth is that this is one of many. Many of our romantic relationships don’t w…	/r/seduction	31/12/17 06:11 PM
13	Working on assertiveness and self-confidence Confidence is overrated imo. If you want to be more assertive focus on being self-compassionate. People who lack self-confidence have an inner voice that is constantly putting them down and telling them how inadequate they are. When you learn to cultivate self-compassion that critical inner voice is still there but you also learn to ignore that voice and replace it with a kinder more encouraging voice.That’s what you want. Self-compassion helps you to see the world more clearly. You don’t go int…	/r/seduction	30/12/17 07:32 PM
3	Just let it go..... Don't cling to your oneitis/crushes... What about them? Are you asking if they should cling to their marriage?	/r/seduction	29/12/17 06:23 AM
122	Just let it go..... Don't cling to your oneitis/crushes... Don’t cling to anything. Everything you love and cherish will leave you one way or another. Appreciate it while you have it but don’t cling to it when it’s gone.	/r/seduction	28/12/17 09:18 PM
2	Overcoming self-depreciating thoughts Start doing mindfulness meditation. Learn to gain a little distance from your thoughts. Once you’ve taken a step back you’ll be able to see how distorted your thinking is. I would also couple the meditation with read Dr. David Burns’ book “Feeling Good”. Right now your thinking and beliefs are all screwed up from childhood issue ie; neglect, abandonment, abuse, bullying...etc. In order to overcome those issues you have to see the distortions in your thoughts and beliefs. It’s REALLY hard to get …	/r/seduction	26/12/17 02:56 PM
21	Conversation skills that trigger girls to engage and talk? Are you talking about their interests, what they like to do, their goals...etc? Start asking people about themselves and they’ll start going on and on. From there you can interject your own experiences. “Oh, you’ve been to Europe? I went there after college and visited x,y,z countries...” You have to engage them by talking about Their interests Mutual interests that you guys might share Share your own experiences or opinions That’s been my experience. Just be friendly and be intrested in what th…	/r/seduction	25/12/17 06:07 PM
3	Starting to hate myself because women think I'm creepy. Be kind to yourself, man. Maybe you are giving off that creepy vibe, maybe it’s all in your head. The best thing to do in your situation is to stop trying to control what other people think of you. Just let go and stop trying. Instead go out with a positive attitude and just try and be friendly. If people react negatively to that you can forgive yourself because at the very minimum you know you did your best to be positive and friendly. The only thing you can control is you. Not other people. No…	/r/seduction	21/12/17 02:46 AM