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Is0prene Archive

View 16 posts and 339 comments by Is0prene on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

People always concern themselves with the phrase "showing your kids a healthy relationship" like its some important trait everyone has to see. Something that is far more important than that is showing your kids a parent who is a leader, an example, someone who is confident, and most importantly someone who is happy. It is important for your kids to learn how to be happy on their own first before getting themselves into relationships. A lot of us divorced guys have to relearn this from scratch be…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 12:06 PM
1

Absolutely tell your boss about your situation. If they have any form of decency or a soul they will cut you a lot of slack. At first I tried to pretend like everything was ok because I was afraid it would hurt my career showing a sign of weakness but instead the opposite happened. Take a mental day when you need it. I never call out sick. Ever. First day of PTO used was about a month into the process because I was having a panic attack. One can argue depending on the situation, divorce is more …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 11:37 AM
1

Confused at your trail of thought. You said if your ex died your child would be more hurt than if you died. You also said that you dying instead of your ex is what's best for your child. I think you need to cut yourself some slack. What have studies shown from how well children grow up without a mother vs a father? Your child might be more sad if their mother passed away, doesn't mean that is what's "BEST" for them. A lot of codependent people grow attached to abusive people in their lives, more…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 01:38 AM
10

Only way I would ever be a step dad is if the woman I am marrying is also now becoming a step mom.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 06:21 AM
8

TBH this sounds like a really petty thing and you are in the phase of marriage where you are silently resenting each other for things you are not speaking up about. Is this really about the eggs or is this about something (or somethings) else that has been building up to the point you are blowing up over eggs and raging on a divorce forum? You probably from what it sounds like have lost all respect for her and think she is taking advantage of you and most likely she is thinking the same thing. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 02:40 AM
2

I have often thought about this. But it the answer comes down to an infinite number of variables. The love of your life has far fewer variables other than your religious background. In many religions people believe they will be reunited after this life and this experience is simply a small blip when considering the vast duration of being together for eternity. If you are atheist this will be an extremely hard pill to swallow. As far as divorce, those who have followed this subgroup know how many…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 02:40 AM
4

It is definitely something everyone faces. Just gives you an eerie unexplainable feeling having nobody else there next to you. Just make sure you don't make a mistake and ignore red flags to find a replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 01:20 AM
1

Oh and sorry to answer you question yeah unfortunately there isn't a whole lot you can do here. In a few states possibly, but the majority of them no. I know for a fact my state here in AZ we have no set rule on when kids can be left alone. And attempting to have a case with CPS to prove child neglect would be near impossible because any accusation coming from an ex-spouse is basically taken with a grain of salt.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 03:18 AM
2

I have a 10 year old girl and just last month my ex told me she had to give her the Heimlich because she was choking on a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm so glad she was right there and saw it all happen and was able to save her. But ever since then I have COMPLETELY rethought the entire leave kids home alone thing. I even bought one of those suction saving devices you see advertised everywhere and showed my kids how to use it. And I have a new rule now where if I have to leave my kids home alone f…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 03:14 AM
3

It is baffling to me how people never knew this was an actual thing that happened. I heard so many stories, especially of perfectly healthy young men in the military, some who unfortunately died after weeks of struggling. Media never gave a single story any bit of news attention. I had to get the shot cuz I'm in healthcare but I am so glad I didn't have a reaction.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 12:55 AM
4

Then consider yourself one of the lucky ones who don't have to deal with their ex the rest of their life. After you get through this and start your life all over you can actually move on and put this all behind you. But I am not trying to undervalue what you are going through. Divorce sucks plain and simple and is way harder for men because the entire system is set up to fuck them over royally and almost never do men get the benefit of the doubt as to who was responsible, even if the woman cheat…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 12:35 AM
3

Man just reading this bring me back down memory lane. The first year after divorce is the absolute most rough. Just get by one day at a time. Each year that goes by your life will get a little bit easier, after the first year it will get a lot easier once you have acclimated. Stay the course. I remember thinking the EXACT same thing you are. You feel trapped right? You feel like you are basically in prison right? Stuck giving your entire livelihood to your worst enemy while you are forced to str…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 12:56 AM
1

Make sure in your decree you have in there that you swap financial information every tax season. That way if she somehow wins this scheme of hers (which is a long shot), it will only be short lived once she goes back to her job making the big bucks.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 02:06 AM
4

This is a very hard realization most men understand that comes with divorce. I think women being more emotional don't think about the financial ramifications that come with divorce and that is why they tend to initiate divorce more than men. "Can't put a dollar amount on your mental health" -actually you can... You see... if you can't afford to live due to divorce, and have to resort to living in your car and only being able to keep your hygiene through a gym membership using their shower facili…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 12:59 AM
10

I'm not telling my kids anything about why I got divorced until they are adults and only if they ask me at that point. There is no point in attempting to sabotage a crucial relationship that my children can benefit from with their mom other than serving my own personal interests. However... If my kids come up to me and tell me something their mom said about me that is glaringly false I will straighten that shit out right away. Its happened several times now and as I have easily proved to my kids…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 07:59 AM
3

The only way this house could help you is if she is renting it and earning profits on it. That could be counted as income. Would be very hard to prove however.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 02:16 AM
5

Listen very carefully brother. You need to learn one simple thing. Its that your wife doesn't know jack shit about anything and everything that comes out of her mouth is 100% bull plop. She is an absolute dumbass for giving you her game plan. You have no choice but to act now, get an attorney, and file yesterday. It doesn't matter if she doesn't want to cooperate or sign anything, a judge will make her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 01:45 AM
1

I strongly believe people should wait at least one year after divorce before dating again. I'm not talking about the date from when they technically first brought up the topic of separating... I mean a year from the date the ink has been set and signed off from the judge. I do not think people are able to fully process and reflect and rebuild themselves properly while they are going through a divorce process. It is an insanely traumatic experience. Your body and soul need time to heal. I believe…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 06:23 AM
1

Until you realize YOUR child support goes up for her having a baby with another man. Yup you read that correctly. In the child support calculator is a nice little line to put in children you have from other relationships and that makes her income go down resulting in your obligation to go up. But yeah it was hilarious watching her try to figure out how to survive with a newborn. She got pregnant the day she got remarried, which was 3 months after our divorce finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 08:47 AM
1

This was the hardest thing for me to learn to do. Everyone in the entire world was yelling at me saying dude why are you being so nice to her. You owe her nothing. She is the one who wanted the divorce, so give her a fucking divorce. I had to learn to become an ass and that is exactly what I became. Nice guys finish last, not only will you finish last, she will laugh at you in the process. Do not try to reason with someone who acts purely on emotion. They have zero logic to anything they do. All…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 11:02 PM
8

Yeah I like to call it the Divorce diet. Give it a year.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 08:10 AM
13

Dude get out of there fast. She's only saying she's gonna try to work on things because she is scared. Once she has figured out a way to move on with life without you she will hit the road without a second thought. That's how monkey branching works. Shared custody isn't that bad. Don't get me wrong here... I have 3 kids and I love them to death! I can't wait for my first day with them when they get off the bus, all race each other up to me, and give me big hugs (50/50 week on week off). That doe…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 07:41 AM
15

That kid is your first priority until he is able to take care of himself and is out of the house. If you meet someone who doesn't add to this kids life and takes away from them, it is your responsibility to deal with it accordingly. I don't believe this is something someone can change and is in their inherent nature. I would break things off personally if I were in your situation as painful as it appears to be. There are so many good women out there that love kids and want to see them succeed as…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 02:33 AM
16

Yes I have learned that women only like men based on the condition of what they can provide. As soon as they find someone else that can provide them more, they will leave without hesitation and be applauded for it. Not true for all women of course, but for the vast majority yes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 07:10 AM
6

Its because she is miserable and thinks it is only fair that you are miserable like she is. Rather than working on herself and treating her own depression, she would rather tear you down and not see you happy out of jealousy. She couldn't care less about the house chores, hence why a cleaning lady didn't help and never will. One thing that is certain, once I was divorced, my life because substantially easier. Turns out my kids aren't even that messy of kids, all the shit everywhere was hers that…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 03:51 AM
3

I’ve read A LOT of men’s situations on this sub. I think this has to be top 5 worst deals I’ve ever seen anyone get. And I think I’ll bookmark it for when people insist that the courts are “fair” You would NEVER see this situation happen for reverse genders.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 10:19 PM
-3

It’s great for everyone. Hiring should be based solely on your qualifications, that’s it. You should not have to fill out race or gender on any application and should be hired based on skills alone. What are we teaching people who get jobs that didn’t actually earn them? Entitlement. That isn’t helping them. It was creating a society of little entitled brats.
/r/MensRights23/02/25 10:58 PM
17

You mean to tell you me that you can't call an entire group of people privileged, take as many things as you can away from them, make it so every other group of people have an advantage at getting ahead of them in life, and expect them to still vote for you? Gee that's a shocker... But lets post a bunch of pictures of them and try to alienate them even further. I'm sure that is a step in the right direction.
/r/MensRights19/02/25 05:40 AM
3

This is the correct answer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 12:36 AM
1

Everyone is racist or sexist, even if they don't want to admit it. The only group of people that society has allowed to be socially toxic towards is men, specifically white males. So they pretend to not be sexist or racist to all other groups in fear of being socially cancelled, and as a result, all of their built up racist and sexist hatred is then flooded into the only outlet that is still socially acceptable, which is white males.
/r/MensRights17/02/25 12:36 AM
6

Started out 30/70 because of my job when we got divorced and I work in healthcare off shifts. Was able to get a new job a year later with much better work life balance and now I got them 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 11:49 PM
2

Sell the house. I did everything I could to have my ex stay in the house for the "Good of the kids" to have a stable environment during it all. She had her mother help her buy me out and that was like an 8 month process. Just a few months later she almost went bankrupt trying to finance the house with the new higher interest rate and ended up having to move anyway. All that work for nothing. Kids are far more resilient than you would think. Sometimes they prefer the change and a new place. I got…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 11:19 AM
9

You just answered your own question... You cannot leave because you won't have a job. What's her excuse for not leaving? It sucks living together but that's divorce, its sucks. Do not move out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 10:02 AM
9

That thing that tells you its not real is your reality check. The more invested you become in a relationship, the more you let your guard down. Just have a good time, but keep that reality check in place to not overlook big red flags. Make a list of deal breakers so you don't have to make the painful decision later. Contrary to what many believe on here, there ARE good women out there, they are just very very hard to find.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:55 AM
3

Yes that’s the one
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 06:33 AM
5

You should read the book no more Mr. Nice Guy. It was eye opening to me. Follow what the book says, and if things don't improve just get out of there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:37 AM
10

The best thing you can do to these texts are ignore them. Giving a narcissist a reaction is exactly what they want. Ignoring it will only infuriate her further.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 06:17 AM
7

Man reading your post is like going down memory lane. It took me a loooooong time to realize my ex asking for a divorce was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Don't think divorce is a bad thing. Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning with your kids, making them pancakes and cleaning all the shit up whenever you want to. Then playing video games with them for as long as you want to. Then going for a walk with them and playing with them at the park whenever you want to. And the b…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 02:12 AM
10

There is literally nothing you can do here. Dwelling on it won't make it any better. I get where you are at and you feel stuck in your job, stuck in your life while she appears to be moving on. If you just focus on other things like hobbies it really does help, even better if they are hobbies that you can do with the kids. Build trust with your kids and they will tell you anything concerning the new partner that you should be worried about. Its important that you don't question your kids about h…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 01:18 AM
9

Yes child support went down. I got a raise with my new job plus she had another baby with the other guy so that all affects the calculator. Went from $1109 a month to $608 a month.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 02:42 PM
-2

I would move back home and go back to school for a new career. Tell her sorry but you ruined my career and I have to start over. If she wants a divorce because of this she can happily pay you child support as you now have zero income.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:05 AM
4

Ever feel like doing everything your wife asks you isn’t enough? You have to want to do those things as well. Because controlling your actions isn’t enough, she must also control your thoughts as well. Mormon here as well. While I still practice the religion, I would never hold it against my spouse if she no longer wanted to… You should love your spouse, not your status in a church. I know exactly the type of woman you describe and it makes me nauseous. I commend you for lasting as long as you d…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 11:07 PM
1

Mediation can be a good tool for people that are on good terms. Its far less costly than traditional hire attorneys and go to court divorce. Usually cost around $5k total that you would split the bill with your ex on. Its what we attempted to do before she went nutzo and went into mediation asking for everything under the sun. If you have a good mediator they will put anything you want into your decree for you as long as you both agree and they wont pick any side to be on, but will interject whe…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 05:28 AM
2

Obviously it’s Harris because she picked Tampon Tim as her VP which has done great things for men, such as putting tampon dispensers in all the men’s bathrooms. What else would those men do in the bathroom without having their tampons easily accessible?
/r/MensRights27/10/24 12:03 PM
2

Just hang in there. Time will fly by before you know it. I remember getting hurt so much I naturally learned to bury all emotion over the years as I am sure you have as well. You too will learn how to feel emotion again. When it comes you will wish it all away, but be happy at the same time that you can feel again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:45 AM
6

This is how it was for me until a few months after we finalized. With the divorce happening all of your time and energy is spent on the legal aspect and you don't have time to be sad, only angry. Once the dust settled and things slowed down I was able to process things and I broke down several times. In the car, at home, at work. I never knew when it would happen, but when it did it would hit me like a 1000 bricks. As time went by each episode got less severe and now I no longer get them. But ye…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 03:34 AM
3

Don't feel bad taking them. Many people will suggest exercise, but the truth is... if you are mega depressed you won't even be able to get yourself out the door. You will have no motivation to do anything, not even things that used to be fun to you. Nothing will bring you joy anymore and all you will feel like doing is laying on your bed staring at the ceiling. As for antidepressants, they can take a while for your body to adjust so don't expect any results tomorrow. It can take weeks to months …
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 10:55 AM
6

Go on the offense and ask her why she keeps staring at your crotch. Ask it out loud in front of a lot of people.
/r/MensRights28/09/24 10:25 AM
3

It was easy for me. She moved onto another guy so fast the ink hadn't even dried on the decree yet. Married 3 months later. So I simply said she's his problem now and haven't given her one more dime than the decree has made me. If your question is really, do you still remain friends after divorce? My answer is no. And everyone on her side of the family that she constantly bitched about me to behind my back is now dead to me as well. As Arya Stark says in Game of thrones, "Rip them all out, Root …
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 10:37 AM
1

Yeah you made the mistake of thinking if you pay your ex more... your child will have a better life. This has never been the case in virtually every situation I have ever heard of. Are you legally separated or just did your own thing? Lots of states have a state calculator that can figure out what child support should be and you can use that. Plug in the numbers and go off of that and see if it is more or less than what you are paying. If it is less and she complains, just simply point her in th…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 10:22 AM
1

My friend told me to say the same thing. This should end up working in my favor right?
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:39 AM
4

My only concern is her coaching the kids to say things that get CPS involved. She’s tried this before but it didn’t work. And my kids are older now and hate her more so it definitely wouldn’t work. But that was my only concern… a little bit of PTSD there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:38 AM
2

Good question. I’m not sure regarding the step dad. Maybe I should send her in just in case anything arises.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:36 AM
2

I suggested this but she says no a school counselor isn’t good enough.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:33 AM
11

My ex got married 3 months after our divorce finalized and got pregnant the next day. It was just weird seeing her with another man and their baby. For the longest time I couldn't comprehend how someone who was married to me for 11 years can just move on that quickly. It's like I was just replaced over night. Fishing is what helped me. Driving out to the lake and spending the morning watching the sun rise and fishing is what helped bring solace to my life. Even saved up and got myself a fishing …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 06:35 AM
1

She asked for a separation and basically had my bags half way packed for me. She said it would be like dating all over again and getting to know each other all over and we could fall back in love. After about 3 months I realized I had a peace of mind and my life was so much better without her in it. Also found out she was dating other guys during that separation but I didn't care about that anymore. I just liked spending time with the kids without her around anymore. I told her it was over for a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 02:01 AM
3

She doesn't deserve you. I don't think it is possible to actually love someone who is completely disconnected from you. You may be in love with the idea of being together and happy as a family with your kids, but this is different than actual true love and true intimacy. You would be so much better off leaving and healing from this abuse you have sustained over the last several years. I was in a similar situation to yours and let me tell you, life got soooo much easier once I got rid of that bur…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:05 AM
2

Get yourself on an antidepressant. There's no shame in taking one. I was in your EXACT shoes and at times I couldn't even breathe. I had to literally tell myself to keep breathing. Once I started taking the med it took about 2 weeks before I started to feel my first relief and after a month the waves almost disappeared entirely. Hang in there your not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 11:56 AM
2

No one is entitle to anything... except for alimony and child support. Yeah just leave the relationship like its nothing, and pretend like those 2 things don't exist. Good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 07:23 AM
1

What you are describing is basically mediation. Go see a mediator who is a non-biased lawyer that serves both of you, doesn't pick a side, and they will write up a decree for both of you that can be whatever you want to put into it. They will simply share things like what most people include in their decrees. Most of these will cost around $3-5k after everything is done.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:31 AM
11

She hasn't found anyone better than you yet. She thought it would be easier than it is. That doesn't mean she will stop trying. Only coming back to you because her monkey branch broke. You would have to be insane to take her back now, even if she didn't hook up with other guys, its always over when they say its over.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:19 AM
2

She can claim zero income, but the manner in which it was drafted is technically illegal according to my attorney as it doesn’t have any reason for modification stated in the language. This is a requirement in my state. So based on the language alone it could be thrown out and I could have her pay my lawyer fees. But… he said it wouldn’t look good for me trying to get her to pay my lawyer fees while I go for 50/50 custody over a technicality and would appear as retaliation and not in the childre…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:20 PM
3

I used those exact words to my lawyer lol. This is a hill I will die on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:14 PM
3

No maybe you misinterpreted what I tried to explain. She quit teaching 3 months before the school year ended when she had the baby. Normally your pay ends then and there but she had to option of continuing getting paid out her summer. Well she exhausted all of her summer pay and now that it’s summer she has to wait until the school year starts in 3 months for her pay to resume when she goes back to work. Just wait until her child support goes down in half, and she’s gotta pay for daycare for the…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:13 PM
2

Yes I was aware of this. Stupid laws. I’ll still be able to lower my child support payment considerably even factoring that in after going 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:04 PM
10

Already done. Retainer has been paid. She also wrote down on the calculator that her medical for the kids only is now $597 a month. It used to be $167. So I am petitioning that I get them 50/50 and they go on my insurance, since I work at a children’s hospital and it would only cost me $80 a month for medical and dental combined.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:02 PM
10

According to my attorney it looks bad to a judge asking for their spouses income. But what we can do is ask for bank statements and question every single instance where money came in out of nowhere. We would call these gifts and they would be used in the calculation. Most of the time he said when this happens it ends up screwing them over because it’s more than what they used to be making.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 11:57 AM
7

11, 9, and 6
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 11:54 AM
6

Just remember the person who has more power in a relationship is the one who needs the other less. The more you latch onto her the less attractive you will become. I read it in a book somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 06:53 AM
1

Through my work my employer had a workplace benefit hotline number we could call for major life events, such as death of a loved one, stress, suicidal thoughts, divorce, etc... I called the number and after explaining my situation they asked if I need emotional support or legal help. I said legal help and they connected me to an attorney that was 25% off discounted through my employer. That being said. Your first move should be consulting an attorney. Sometimes the initial consult is free.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:37 AM
2

At one point after the divorce was finalized I wrote her a long page about how I was sorry for my part in the divorce. I listed some things I can see now that I did wrong, number 1 being communication. A lot of people on here might read that and cringe, but I needed to do that to move on. That was about a year ago I wrote that and one of the hardest things to grapple for me is that I will never receive a letter in return. How could someone not reciprocate back something as vulnerable as that? Bu…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:28 AM
6

I know this doesn’t make sense to you now and you are confused as to why this is happening to you. But there will come a day when you will thank your ex for divorcing you. I’ve said it before, the best thing my ex ever gave me besides my children, was a divorce. I never knew how miserable I was, and how happy I could be.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:16 AM
8

Especially if this is your primary love language it is the ultimate betrayal when someone avoids all physical contact with you. It is emotionally abusive. It wasn't until I entered another relationship with someone who genuinely cared about me did I realize the toll that marriage took on me. It would be like your love language is words of affirmation and deciding to call your partner a sack of shit every time you see them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:00 AM
2

I would highly recommend sitting down with everyone from both sides of the families if there is decent money involved, and agreeing to do a prenup. This would ensure, should a divorce unfortunately occur, things go as smoothly as possible for everyone. This is worthwhile to do so that you can all agree on things when you are at best of terms with each other, rather that when you are hostile. As for ensuring a successful and fulfilling marriage will occur, I would recommend learning the love lang…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 01:14 AM
2

I have dreams occasionally (like maybe 3-4 times a year), but never that we were happy. They are all terrible memories or variations of impossible situations I was put in. I have yet to have a happy memory pop up in a dream. But my whole marriage was a bad experience in general. Got married way too young and stuck around way too long.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 12:54 AM
14

What a great post. Just remember she is only treating you this way because her plan A failed. You will always be plan B. Once a plan B always a plan B. Never ever an exception to this rule.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 12:48 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c2n16i/fundamentals_you_need_a_family_law_attorney/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 12:46 AM
5

I cant imagine the amount of letters she is getting from the HOA about her weeds in the front of the house. Can you guess whose job it was to do the landscaping?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 12:08 PM
3

Get an attorney consult. Sometimes the initial one is free. If she leaves I am not sure there is much you can do as this child doesn't have any connections to the area yet. If the child were older and in school, has friends, etc. it would be much harder for her to do this. As of right now there isn't much stopping her as you are still married. If you serve her and begin the divorce process she can still choose to leave with the kids, but it would come back to bite her in the ass come trial time …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 11:40 AM
1

Yes this has happened to me too. We are all targets for easy prey here in this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 01:40 AM
3

Perhaps it’s a population control tactic… just sayin… you never know.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 04:28 AM
2

First 2 days pretty sore but I can walk around and get things done around the house with slight pain. It’s day 3 now and pain is all gone unless I’m doing something excessive.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 03:19 PM
3

Yes it was only a slight deep pain. Kinda like afterwards being kicked in the nuts. Yeah I could smell the burning flesh. As for recovery I’m only 1 day out. Balls are partly blue and I still have a slight deep pain not as bad as yesterday though. Advil works great.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 06:18 PM
4

If I had 1 or 2 kids I might consider having more someday with the right gal. But I got 3 and I’m done lol.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:57 AM
3

Insurance does nothing because it’s a man’s elective surgery 🤷🏻‍♂️. Mine was $900
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:55 AM
4

I work at a children's Hospital and I wish we could fine parents who waste our resources for stupid crap similar to people calling 911 for non emergencies. But alas that will never happen for obvious reason.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 08:04 AM
6

Your emotions are normal. My ex kept the house and moved the BF in with her so it was a little bit of a burn knowing he's just replaced me. Then next thing you know she's sending her errand boy out to do the kid drop offs for her and I gotta look and interact with him. Super awkward. Just focus on you and not on her. You aren't responsible for her recklessness anymore, nor can you shield your child from it. Just be there for daughter when she needs you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:57 AM
2

Perhaps this is the way to go in today's interest rate debacle. I would put some sort of stipulation that they have to be refinanced by a 2026 or so to at least have a way to bury the hatchet. Hopefully interest rates have become more reasonable by then?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 07:19 AM
9

Don't worry about what the kids see and don't see. You have absolutely no control over this and it is not your responsibility to cover it up. It is not your job to defend and lie for your STBX to "protect" your kids. You just be a good reliable dad for your kids and answer any questions they have strictly factual. Ignore all the "why" questions and say I don't know. Leave all the assumptions up to themselves. Once I started doing this I was able to sleep at night.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 07:13 AM
3

Man I am so sorry this is happening to you. I can't imagine the pain after being with someone 30 years. But don't give up hope. There are success stories out there. You have lived a life so long of putting someone else first you are going to have to rewire your brain into learning how to love yourself. Take some time and go out into nature alone, go for a long drive, listen to music in the car and process the emotions. Don't think that nobody will ever look at you. Because you don't need somebod…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 07:02 AM
1

With the right woman I’m sure you can.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 06:18 AM
28

I've said it before. The best thing my ex ever gave me besides my children was a divorce. I never knew how great life can be once I started putting myself first.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:45 AM
2

Sounds like there is a bit of a communication gap here. You need to ask her straight up do you want to get divorced or try to work this out? Explain to her you need a yes or no response, and that any dodge of the question would be considered yes. If she says no have you tried counseling? Because a lot of the problems seem like communication issues, which counseling could help a lot. The VA might have a crisis line you can call for emotional support and say you need help emotionally and legally w…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 10:06 AM
2

Marriage was 11 years and we have 3 kids. Separated a little over 2 years ago and divorce finalized in April last year. First step is always the hardest. Sometimes your employer offers free legal consults or even discounts. I would look into that if you have a resource like that available. But definitely need to talk to an attorney to know your options.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 09:21 AM
3

Lol I completely forgot about this. When I wouldn't know what to say anymore she would then yell at me for shutting down and stonewalling. If I spoke up I got yelled at worse. So damned if I do damned if I don't.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:40 AM
3

It took me about 15 months after separation to be ready to start dating. It took me about 5 more months after that before I was ready to start a relationship. Everyone is different. I do think it is very important to wait a year before starting a relationship. Dating for fun, sure you can do that anytime, but stay away from relationships. Just my 2c. I think the big thing for me was clearing my head and learning how to love myself. Once I found ways to be happy on my own was the game changer for…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:23 AM
5

That has the be the most common variable I see here with these posts. "My wife decided to go out and make new friends and I encouraged her to because I am a loving spouse and want her to be happy" Translation: My wife would like some friends to bitch about me for countless hours all day while I am at work to providing a comfortable living for her. I don't see any problem with that. *4 weeks later* Joins divorce men subreddit. Sorry this is happening to you man but your story is not unique here. …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:47 AM
5

Hey man hang in there. I think the biggest game changer for me was seeing a psychiatrist and getting prescribed an SSRI. I didn't want to take it because it felt like I was cheating and I needed to do this on my own. I couldn't have been more wrong, it completely changed my life. Now all I think about is when am I going to take my boat out next and go fishing. When is my next campout coming up with the kids? When can I hit the driving range? I don't think about my past life at all anymore. It is…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:20 AM
13

It was hard for me at first grasping what was happening. It felt like my life was coming to an end. I no longer had the perfect life with whatever happiness I thought I had was. I was forever going to be divorced having to rebuild my entire life over from scratch, share my kids, my new reality. I was going to come home to.... nobody, good/bad however I thought of them, I was coming home to nobody to share my day with. Where was I going to live? In a lot of ways though my life became a lot easier…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:14 AM
3

Yeah I guess you are right. That was pretty lame being kept in the dark that whole time. 🤣 I'm just glad they stayed on my side.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 02:37 PM
9

My ex decided to ruin my family reunion by doing this. My family called it the Divorce Campaign. She talked to every family member individually over the course of the week of the reunion with the same sob story about how I was a horrible person and deserved every bit of sympathy from all of them. Mostly because she knows my family comes from money. She wanted to be taken care of. I had no clue what was happening until the 2nd to last day when she broke it to me. Everyone in my family knew I was …
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 02:07 PM
9

Married 11 years, me M(34) her F(34). Had 3 children together. Finalized 1 year ago. She filed. My ex is screwed. No longer owns a home due to mounting credit card debt, new husband (whom all the kids hate) works at IHOP and is having another baby any day now. She can't afford daycare for the child so I don't know what she is going to do. I am far better off. In just a year I got an 18% raise with a job that allows me to be home far more often, living my life debt free, actually have some decent…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:20 PM
7

My ex remarried 3 months after our divorce finalized. Shoved that relationship down their throats. I had the same fears as you. At first the kids loved him. They would brag about how strong he is, how he can lift all of them at once. I was terrified he would replace me. Fast forward and within 5 months they all hated his guts and with each month that goes by they hate him even more. They even complained to their teachers about him and a CPS case opened up. Now a year later you see him around the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 01:07 PM
7

Ahhh yes mine was reading a codependency book as well. She even bought one for me. After we divorced my brother and I took that book out into the desert and strapped some tannerite to it. It was glorious.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 12:56 PM
19

The same reason elections can be won by simple bumper sticker phrases. The same reason they will complain hardly any women sit as a CEO of a major company. There is no thinking involved and are simply reacting out of emotion. I offered my ex the deal of a lifetime, I quickly realized I was an idiot for even offering it. I would offer to stay on the mortgage for her indefinitely to keep her at a 3% interest rate. Mortgage was $1480/month. My CS is 1109/month. I said hey ill let you keep that inte…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 12:49 PM
9

Monkey Branched. Its amazing how fast a woman can move on when they have another branch to cling onto, and how dreadful divorce is to them if they don't.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 07:49 PM
1

I was going to try to make it work through anything. Then she reported me to CPS and I discovered she was recording me without my knowledge of it at my worst moments. I knew then it was over. If I wanted to protect any amount of time I was going to have with my kids after divorce I had to get the hell out of there right away. I never felt one bit of regret. I did everything I could to save the marriage. I sleep very well at night.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 07:44 PM
4

If you don't have a lot of family/friends around to help like in my situation you can always take your kids out to their favorite restaurant or a movie. My kids love IHOP. If you are parallel parenting then definitely do not go over there. Maybe in a few years if things cool down you can try it. My ex and I recently had our first combined Bday and it turned out pretty good, but we have settled into a pretty good groove now with coparenting.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 07:40 PM
2

Whoa that was quite a read. Very entertaining, but very sad... sorry you had to go through that. Sounds like she has BPD. Don't waste your time, energy, or life anymore than you have to on someone that treats you like that. The woman you fell in love with is gone. Sad as it is and how great that love once was, its just gone now and there's no coming back.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 07:31 PM
1

Depending on the state you are in you don't need to do that. For instance, in community property states you only divide half of your assets that you acquired during your marriage. Anything you owned prior to that marriage is still yours 100%. As for the other states, I'm not sure how to answer your question.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:09 PM
2

If you need to take an emotional day off of work then do it. Don't bring that with you to work. Fill your mind with other things. After work go exercise, see a therapist, and possibly get on an anti-depressant if you aren't already. They will all help with balancing out your emotions during this ordeal.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:46 PM
5

You go off of historical pay. Any judge will mandate your take home pay for the calculation to be based on prior history, and at full time equivalent to prevent people from doing this. She can work less if she wants to, she is still financially obligated to be responsible for her half of what she was bringing in. Her days of working less to stay to spend more time with the kids ended when she divorced you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:29 PM
4

This is very similar to me. I Worked crazy hours to fuel her masters degree. As soon as she got it she no longer had a use for me. She threatened CPS and all sorts of stuff to ensure she got the house. It was sooooo crucially important she got that house even though I kept telling her she couldn't afford it. "I want the kids to have stable lives" "I don't want to disrupt the kids lives as much as possible" I could have afforded it, but I didn't want the awful memories that came with it, I only d…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:22 PM
2

"He also wants to speak with my family - mother, brothers, etc., yet I don't feel it's a responsibility. I do think it's a courtesy, after all it's been 9 years and ultimately don't feel either of us have a responsibility. I also don't want to." ​ You made one little typo there. I think you meant to say she. But then again, I don't think it is a typo is it? Your last post was about divorcing your husband. So which is it? are you divorcing your wife or divorcing your husband? Your last post said …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 11:54 AM
6

Just be glad her attention is divided and she is partly focused on Mr. Wonderful instead of going after you. My ex did the same. She was married 3 months after our divorce finalized. It drove me nuts. All of my kids hate his guts. That's what happens when you ram a partner down their throat before they have processed the divorce. This will make your kids love you even more. Just be glad you are single now and can enjoy freedom. Remember, if you want to go somewhere, just go. You no longer need p…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 11:31 AM
1

From my experience it doesn't matter too much for the kids unless they have lots of friends as neighbors. My kids were actually stoked about moving into a new house. I also downsized because I didn't need such a big place. A lot easier to keep clean. Found a nice HOA with a pool park so the kids love it and I don't have to spend any time maintaining it. Mobile home parks aren't all that bad where I live. Lots of them have awesome pools, parks, and rec centers. If the house brings you trauma just…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 09:03 AM
1

Your marriage was 4 months long? You are young so I can see how that can seem like a big ordeal, but you still have your whole life ahead of you. The only person you need to love is yourself right now. Its hard knowing you didn't get to be one of those people who found the right person on the first try. Its hard knowing you will always be labelled as a reject divorcee. Your perfect life is now no longer a possibility. There is no Disney movie where a divorced prince or princess gets to sail happ…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:08 AM
2

You should make plans to divorce her. Because that is what she is doing right now. She has already emotionally withdrawn herself from the relationship, she is now making preparations to gut you as deep as she possibly can. Get a lawyer and protect yourself and your future parenting time as best you can. Do not move out of the house. Record everything so that you can disprove the fake DV/RO that will come. Its number 1 on the playbook for them.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:50 AM
1

She thinks its better for her kids to move them away from their dad... Has she not read even one single study amongst the thousands that beg to differ with that theory of hers? Id be willing to bet that new job of hers has to deal with a special someone that doesn't exist in a small town. I thought this was like standard language to include in a parenting agreement... No ex is allowed to move to another state without abandoning their parenting rights. You must have had like the worst attorney in…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:21 AM
7

Kevin Samuels was the best. May he RIP.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:10 AM
5

Ask yourself this question. If things were reversed would she show you mercy? HAHAHAHA I think we all know the answer to that. Ask any guy on this sub that question and I think you will get a unanimous answer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 03:16 AM
2

For me things got worse after the divorce was finalized. The entire 14 month process I was just straight up angry with tiny moments of sadness, then back to anger. Once the dust settled and the divorce was finalized the emotions came flowing in and I was able to start the stages of grief. Every now and then I would have an anxiety attack out of nowhere. I would have to call out of work or excuse myself for a long break and barely finish my shift. It got better though. Found out antidepressants w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 11:48 AM
3

Not sure if you have listened to the audio book called the power of vulnerability by Brene brown. Vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. However, when throwing vulnerability around in the most random of places, it can do the opposite. So I understand your point. Perhaps he should have waited for another more appropriate time and place to explain to her his feelings on the matter. I do think if a women thinks a man is a pussy and leaves him for crying about a moment of trauma in their li…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:44 AM
6

This. Consider yourself lucky you didn't have to co-parent with the devil and pay her twice as much as it costs you to take care of the child, and see the child only half the days of the week. Hang in there, you are entering the prime of your life and will have opportunities. Work on yourself. Do not live your life thinking about what could have been, and focus on your actual reality.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:19 AM
1

I think it depends on the state you are in. Some states say that personal injury settlements are not considered joint property between spouses. Similar to an inheritance, some consider that money separate as long as it isn't comingled. Comingling would be like putting bits and pieces all over the place. I think if she put all of that money, every last cent, into the house, then she is entitled to 200k plus half of remaining equity. I had an inheritance of 60k that went into my house. I was able …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:09 AM
2

Fishing was it for me. I live 40 minutes from the lake so it is a good drive listening to audio self help books, or just jamming to music and letting the emotions fly. Being alone on the lake I found to be very therapeutic. I would go early at 4 am and just watch the sunrise. Now I got a small fishing boat I can take the kids out with me as well and its a big turn on for the ladies.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:56 AM
5

Mine picks up the kids with her new baby daddy. Doesn't phase me in the slightest anymore. Work on yourself and you will forget this person you put your whole life into. Read books like no more mr nice guy and the rational male. Find hobbies and passions to bring happiness into your life. If depressed, take anti depressants. With time you will find another person who is a thousand times better and forget all about her. But do not go looking for that until you have fixed yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:48 AM
5

You are not allowed to bring hope to peoples' lives apparently.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:34 AM
3

I thought the same thing. Do everything in my power to have the kids stay in the house. Help her out in any way possible right? Well after orchestrating the craziest deal to help her get the house, 1 year later she has to sell the house due to mounting credit card debt. When I went over there she had new shelves in the garage, new bike mounts racks, a huge new tool mobile cabinet, a huge ass gun safe and even got herself a gun. She bought a treadmill and a whole bunch of other stuff. I mean stuf…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 09:53 AM
7

I'm not sure if you will get much marriage advice in this sub. Our only solution here is to dump her ass and move on with your life. She sounds useless imo... SAHM for a teenager!? what does she do all day while she's in school? Give me a fkin break. If you are being financially abusive then you should spare her and leave her on her own.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 09:38 AM
2

Is there a reason her income is so low? I would petition that she can make more money but is choosing not to. They can base the CS calculation off of what her income should be and not what she is choosing to make. With 16 years you are looking at paying some alimony. Good news though is that alimony factors into CS calculation and will lower it a tad.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 01:52 AM
4

Whose name is on the title of the house? You have a right to break into your own house. Call the police ahead of time and explain you have been locked out to avoid her filing a fake DV. They will watch you break in and tell her she can't do that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 01:33 AM
3

Maybe since you have so much valuable materials in there, but don't want the hassle of moving any of it or memory attached to it... hire a professional to go through and do a valuation on the materials in the house. I know what you mean. I would rather buy a cheap ass amazon bed frame vs inheriting the one we owned. Everything in my house is brand new to help me not remind myself of her at all. Plus its all mine. I hand picked it all... without anyone else's fucking input. You have no idea the f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 01:26 AM
2

How long has she been in the workforce? Does she have a college degree? Did she stop working to take care of the kids? And how long were you married for?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 01:01 AM
10

I discovered I am a great dad. I was undermined and ridiculed and reported to CPS so I actually believed I was a horrible father. My family helped talk some sense into me and I discovered I actually love being a father around my kids without someone undermining me with everything I do. She does nothing with them. The classic mom that pretends to be involved and will drive them places, take a picture then walk off on her phone. The kids know this and hate being around her. They love coming to my …
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 12:24 AM
8

Ahh yes mine did this as well. Bragged to her (then) friend that she got her school, Bariatric surgery, teeth, and eyes (lasik) all done on my dime and laughed about it. After hearing that she was no longer her friend and told me about it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 08:34 PM
8

Dude that’s like straight up sociopathic. Sorry about your father.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 08:31 PM
11

She remarried 3 months post divorce, and is expecting his baby any day now. They had a shotgun wedding. He works at ihop. I make 3-4 times his salary. Kids hate going over to her house and especially hate him. He has even had his own CPS case against himself. I’m just glad she’s focused on him and not me anymore. Someone else’s problem now. Kids love seeing me every time I pick them up and give me big long hugs. Glad they have one place they feel safe at.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 08:28 PM
4

That's great. Down the road once you have worked on yourself and recovered and become this new awesome proud man radiating with confidence she will realize the mistake she made. The only thing that matters now is you. She don't exist anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 09:39 AM
21

The only time a cheating ex wants to get back together with you is when the AP wants nothing to do with her. Once she has a branch to monkey grab onto she will no longer need you and be done faster than you can blink an eye. You are always plan B while she searches for plan A. Wish there were exceptions to this. Oh and don't listen to a single word that comes out of her mouth for rationalizing why she did what she did. If she did nothing wrong and wasn't her fault, then why did she keep it a sec…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 09:31 AM
3

Did you have any kids? If you did that changes a lot. Also did she work, does she make more money than you? Definitely seek an attorney, if you are lucky you can settle things amicably with a mediator and avoid a lot of legal fees.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 09:19 AM
6

I was genuinely surprised after paying child support I am still better off financially. I actually just bought a boat and its only been 1 year. Never would have been possible being married to her. She spent every dime before I even made it. Always had credit card debt, and tax return was already spent before we even received it. Credit score went up 120 points and I'm up to 800 now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 09:14 AM
13

When I got divorced I thought I was a horrible father. She put me down so much I actually believed it to be true. I thought giving her more time with the kids was in their best interest. Turns out I am such a better father without someone belittling me each minute of every day. I have so much fun with my kids now without that black hole sucking the life force out of me. I am so glad my family talked some sense into me before I gave it all over to her. As for starting out new... just give it time…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 09:06 AM
2

Depends on your judge, situation, and how long your married for. If you are diligent and never mix your money together in prior assets like a house it might hold. Prenup isn't worthless, it just adds a small percent to your chances of winning in the event of a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:43 AM
8

Marriage is the only contract you cannot know the terms of service. The whole oath of till death do you part is hog piss. Don't even bring up prenups either because I've seen those thrown out all together as well if the judge simply wakes up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:26 AM
8

I like how you describe the stages of grief and how sometimes all of them hit you at once. I can definitely relate to that. You have no idea how or when it will happen, but when it does it fkin sucks. I had to call out of work 2 times cuz of it. And I don't call out of work ever, even when I broke my arm totaling my car, still at work the next day in a make shift cast. I am almost 1 year finalized next month and they have pretty much gone away now. But it was the worst feeling ever, like a hard …
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:04 AM
9

Its actually pretty common on here. Its also one of the main focuses of the book no more mr. nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:00 AM
7

Have you seen a psychiatrist for the depression? It is not a sign of weakness taking medication for depression. I also had no desire to do anything in my life anymore. I worked and barely had enough motivation to help the kids. All I wanted to do was come home and stare at the ceiling from my bed. The medication took about 1-2 weeks to take effect, but the results were irrefutable. I now have hobbies and passions. Things at work improved 10 fold. I love my kids more than ever and do so many thin…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 02:05 PM
10

If there is any chance to reconcile I would try to do it because divorce life sucks bad with kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 04:33 PM
2

I don't understand how women can be so cold they will watch another human being suffer like you are. Doesn't she understand soon her gravy train will end once her benefactor is in jail cuz she sucked him dry to the bone? I learned in my microbiology class years ago that a good parasite will slowly leach off its host being careful as to not kill it because if the host dies, so does the parasite with it. Your ex seems like a very stupid parasite in that regard.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 11:48 AM
5

I'm glad you put that reason for culture or religion in there. That is the reason I got married. For everyone else here who doesn't believe in religion... why on earth are you getting married!? Logically it make no sense. Its a piece of paper that can only hurt you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 02:06 AM
2

actual loving companionship.. something I never had in 18 years of marriage. We hang onto relationships like this because we are in love of with the idea of something that could have been, something that isn't at all our actual reality. People never change who they truly are.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 02:03 AM
5

Can I ask how long you dated both before marriage? Was the first one fast and the second one slowly because you were more careful? I have this thinking that no matter how long you date for, once married they simply stop trying. They can put up a show for most of the time around 3 years before they give up on a LTR with no marriage prospects.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:46 AM
3

That line made me cringe a little bit as well. Most women will not like that trait in a man. No more Mr. Nice guy opened my eyes to that. But sometimes you get lucky and find a gem who actually appreciates the things you do for them.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:40 AM
8

Most prenups become null and void after 5-10 years and funds have been comingled. Plus you have to factor in judge roulette to decide to even enforce it at all. Lots of times prenups don't even help at all due to tiny little typo. If using a prenup you have to be absolutely sure you never comingle any of your money ever to have a tiny chance it will hold in court. Marriage is the only contract you cannot know the terms and conditions.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:36 AM
7

Hang in there man. Don’t give up. It may seem hopeless now but it will get better down the road. Take one day at a time. See a psychiatrist and take antidepressants before things get worse. Hit the gym to relieve stress. And you are wrong thinking your kids will be better off without you. I was dead wrong about that mindset myself. My ex beat me down so much I truly believed I was an awful dead beat dad. It was all lies. Never give up, if not for yourself, for your kids. One day you will be glad…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 11:16 AM
3

It gets so much better. One time a friend shared with me a quote: "Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living." It changed my life. Literally. I had to let go of what I thought my life could have been and learn how to find joy in my actual new reality. I made that quote the screen saver on my phone to not forget it. The friend who shared it with me.. I met her on an online dating app. She was my very…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:42 AM
1

Absolutely do not transfer money into a joint checking account. Either write a personal check, or use an app like zelle, venmo, etc with a description of reason for payment. My attorney warned me if my ex ever wanted to, should could fight the courts that she never got her child support since it was a "joint account" and make me back pay again all those months I did it that way. Close all joint accounts and make sure you have separate checking accounts. This is very important. Some states make c…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:01 AM
5

That has to be the worst deal I have ever heard.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 10:37 AM
1

Are you asking if there is a way to hold a woman accountable in America? The answer is no.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 10:27 AM
13

If my ring was worth anything it would have went to a pawn shop. At most... I could probably get like $100 for it. Hers on the other hand... was like $4,500. Ironically, this ratio of giving and receiving was very similar throughout the marriage as well.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 10:10 AM
4

We never went to full trial, luckily agreed just before it got to that. But yeah the mediation failed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 07:53 PM
6

I would have stolen a copy of our divorce decree from the future and slapped it on the desk of the mediator during our first and only session of mediation that blew up with her ridiculous demands. I would have proven to my ex I was the one being reasonable the whole time and was actually offering her more than what she ended up getting after both of us blew through tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fees. In all seriousness... I would have divorced her way sooner and not moved away from my…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 07:12 PM
7

Damn you beat me to it. If she has daddy issues she will almost certainly have husband issues. If her mother threw away her father like garbage then she will do the same. The lack of respect for male figures goes out the window.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 11:27 PM
8

Only reason they beg is when they do not have a branch to monkey grab onto yet. Sooner you divorce, the sooner you can get on with your life. If she had a branch, she would have already served you blindly with a smile on her face as she went about her day.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 07:10 PM
9

This is the stupidest reason on the planet that they all use. If this is the reason for them cheating you got yourself a lemon plain and simple. A normal person would appreciate the things their spouse does for them. A normal person would feel their love and want to reciprocate it back. If you would have ignored her then she would have cheated anyway because she would have felt ignored and neglected. They simply don't know what they want.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 02:07 PM
5

You are probably in love with the idea of what your marriage could have been. That was the case for me. Once I realized the amount of emotional abuse I took in and discovered lots of new hobbies and passions I was able to find joy in the things of today and stopped living in the past. Time is the ultimate healer. The other things I mentioned just speed up that time a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 04:50 PM
5

Sooner you get this over with the sooner you can move on with your life. Only reason females don't want divorce... and I mean 99.99% of the time... is because they haven't found a branch to monkey grab onto yet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:40 PM
1

Same here. Ex already tried to move on me but our decree says you cant move out of our county unless you forfeit all parenting rights. I guess she should have thought of that one before she met Mr. Perfect.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:19 PM
3

I was not capable of dating anyone psychologically after separation until the divorce was finalized. I wasn't even able to properly process the divorce emotionally until after the dust settled from the divorce. I don't know how people are able to do this, but then again, maybe it all depends on the level of abuse you sustained throughout the marriage. You filed for divorce... she must have done something crazy cuz its not common for men to file.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:13 PM
7

I can watch YouTube on the big screen TV for however long on want to. It feels amazing. I can also play video games without having to constantly check my timer for how much time I have left. Ironically, I rarely even play them anymore...😂
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:16 AM
11

What I think you are confused with is that you are still in love with the idea of what your marriage could have been. This was a big problem for me that took a lot of time to let go. Only after finding other passions and hobbies was I able to realize I was so much happier and better off than that flawed idea in my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 11:39 PM
3

That book changed my life. And it is perfect example of the difference in what the OP's idea of high road is so flawed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 11:31 PM
7

No. And in her mind, all of the stars in the universe orbit around her as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:07 PM
1

Yeah that’s why I’ve always prided myself on self help books. I feel like they help way more than any therapist can because there is no ulterior motive. An antidepressant can really help too if you find you have zero desire to do anything. Those 2 things with gym and a hobby can work wonders with time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 05:49 AM
4

You're in love with who you thought she was. This right here nailed it. I firmly believe you cannot move on until you have learned to find joy in the things of the now, and not what they could have been. Don't think about your ex. Mine left me and got married 3 months after our divorce finalized. That's not even technically legal in some states. She's also having a baby with the guy and is due in less than 2 months. He just finally got his first job since being married at IHOP and they both make…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:29 AM
3

Therapists want to help people. But then again... the customer is always right.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:23 AM
2

Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy? It’s available as a short audio book and has some good suggestions. My problem in my marriage in hindsight was a lot of things in that book. Being a simp is a real thing that can make a woman not appreciate you or be attracted to you, despite your looks. Book has helped me regain a lot of confidence and grow the relationship I am currently in a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:13 AM
7

She is just blowing smoke. Its like negotiating. You always start out high. She wants you to think you have to actually pay her money. You owe her nothing. She will have to get a job if she hasn't already. She thinks she can continue her life and lifestyle as if nothing will change. She is dead wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 08:15 AM
3

What in the hell did I just read?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 08:08 AM
30

If a truth serum existed and was administered to my wife she would have written me the following letter: Dear [man I'm divorcing] I am divorcing you because I found another dick to ride on. Its a new dick and is very refreshing to me and I like it. I don't care that it will completely fuck up our kids' lives, because this dick makes me happy and alive. I was afraid to get divorced, but then I realized American divorce laws benefit me greatly while fucking you over big time. So in a way, we are b…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 08:00 AM
2

I never said it was fair. I think the whole system is corrupt. I pay $1109 a month to a woman who would rather shop on amazon daily over feeding her own children. The second paragraph is not illegal. I know 2 friends personally who have done this. If both parties agree you can put whatever the fuck you want in a divorce decree.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 11:48 AM
12

Do you not see the irony of your statement? Blaming someone else about blaming someone else. LOL.
/r/MensRights16/02/24 10:10 AM
1

It is not simply about "trying." It is your children's rights to live in equal living situations between parents. Some states have a state calculator used for determining child support. That being said... it also takes into account who pays for monthly child expenses such as medical and dental. So there is a chance if she makes slightly more, but is paying for the expenses such as medical/dental/other extraordinary expenses like daycare, you could actually still owe her child support. So if you …
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:32 AM
1

I would only let her come aboard if she first agreed to forfeiting all child support handouts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:08 AM
7

I am celebrating Valentine’s Day by doing absolutely nothing. I am no longer being guilt tripped into providing a material object of zero worth and also no longer receiving a worthless gift (such as a foot bath for example) that was clearly meant for herself all paid for out of my hard earned money. What a stupid holiday. Anyone missing Valentine’s Day needs to take off their simp eye goggles.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:00 AM
3

I recommend getting some exercise. It helps occupy your mind and relieve a lot of stress. Smashing golf balls at the range or a batting cage helps too. Focus all that anger, rage, depression, and emotional vomit into something that can be productive and get your body in shape.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:02 PM
12

Think of it as "Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law" Grey rock protects in that way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:48 PM
1

I believe the general advice for men within retirement age is to retire first before filing. That way you can't be forced to pay child support.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 02:28 PM
2

You are right on the money. She still has something to benefit from them. Social status and CS. Without those 2 things I have no doubt she would ditch them in a heartbeat.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 12:48 PM
1

Its interesting hearing those words. I just had a thought... by that logic why did my ex want anything to do with my children anymore? I mean she loves them but isn't in love with them. Why not just divorce them too?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 09:47 PM
4

Yup. Mine used those exact words verbatim. It comes from the handbook. Next will come the fake domestic abuse claims. Of course, they never want you to talk about their affair that actually happened, but they can go ahead and make up all sorts of lies of abuse and spread them like wildfire with zero repercussions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:12 PM
12

My household chores with her gone has went from ripping my hair out just to find a place to sit on the couch… to spending 1-2 hours a week total to keep my place in pristine condition. Went to pick up the kids from her place last week and my poor kids were walking/tripping on heaping mounds of trash and junk just to reach their backpacks in the front room. She always blamed the mess on the kids and I being slobs. Turns out my kids aren’t even that messy. It’s just her. That was the biggest reali…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:42 PM
8

No doubt she is taking advantage of you getting her masters degree while you assume half of her college debt. It is all her exit strategy. This was exactly what happened to me. I was so happy to have her to go back to the workforce after all our kids were finally school age and we could finally have 2 incomes. NOPE, she had other plans all along. Later she bragged about it to her friends how much of an idiot I was paying for her school, weight loss surgery, teeth, and lasik all on my dime.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 03:28 PM
3

No doubt she will try to negotiate a parenting plan where she can take the kids to her church every week. DO NOT LET HER. It will ruin all of your weekends with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 03:18 PM
2

Tell her you want to switch to email only from now on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 12:53 PM
11

Even if my ex apologized to me at your stage the damage is done... And yours WONT apologize. You can not threaten a man with divorce and have a successful marriage. It just cannot be done. Once the cat is out of the bag its over.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:48 PM
6

It has been almost 2 years for me from the time I moved out of the house. For so long I hated my ex for divorcing me, now I want to thank her for helping me make that decision. My life is so much better without her in it. Like 1000 times better. The only downside to it all was not seeing my kids every day. But the pros of getting that parasite out of my life far outweigh the costs of the divorce. And each day that goes by it only gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:49 PM
4

My ex tried to do the same to me. Except it was so outlandish nobody believed any of it. Everyone knew how hard I worked and how present of a father I was. We call that period her "divorce campaign." She wanted everyone on her side before she initiated it, my family included. I am so lucky to have a family that was looking out for me and didn't believe a word of her BS... mostly because she had already burned bridges with everyone in my family over the pettiest of things. The downfall of my ex w…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:31 PM
6

What do you mean she's fed up with still having arguments? Does she think when you are married you will no longer ever have an argument? LOL My ex and I used to have "discussions" about topics that were stimulating and fun to talk about. As the marriage progressed over the years she just got bitter when I disagreed about a topic and called me a narcissist... telling me "you think you know everything." All I wanted to do was have a discussion, but I wasn't even allowed to have an opinion anymore …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:07 PM
4

Yeah you only have a case of right of first refusal if it is more than like 8-12 hours at a time. How did she kick you out if you don't mind me asking? I think its the most entitled bs women do when they actually feel like they have a right to kick a man out of their own home that they didn't contribute a dime into the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 01:50 PM
3

It is risky dating someone who has not finalized their divorce yet. Many people are unable to process it until the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared. Everyone is different though. My divorce was like a full time job and was a distraction from everything in my life. I was so angry throughout the whole thing that my body was not able to grieve properly until we had finalized and things calmed down. You must be careful you don't become a fill for his empty void if he hasn't properly healed…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:35 PM
3

It is very hard for people on Reddit to help you based on the limited information you provided. We don't know your background or hers. Does she work? Has she ever worked? Did she take off of work to be with child? What chances does she have at establishing a career at her age if she hasn't work her whole life? Do you own a business together? None of us know how much you make so its hard to know if 11,000 is too much or too little... for all we know you make ten times that. These are questions pr…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:12 PM
11

Man what an idiot. I'm sorry, but what parent... cept for maybe ones that are truly concerned about real abuse happening... would want to never have a night alone without their kids. Sorry, I love my kids dearly... but I also do appreciate and cherish my alone time when they are with their mom. I would go bonkers too if I were her. But yeah she asked for it, don't come crying when you don't like it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 07:11 PM
7

My ex MIL was divorced. My ex always hated her mom and loved her dad saying her mom was selfish and never gave her dad a chance. All she cares about is her self image. She will burn any bridge she has with friends or family over the tiniest disagreement. Well I was stupid for thinking she would be different. I was so sick of defending my ex when she fought with everyone in my family. Burned every bridge she had made with everyone over the pettiest stuff. The entitlement was ridiculous because my…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 08:31 PM
2

Correct
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 07:36 PM
2

But it is my business if it directly affects me… if she all of a sudden says I owe her more CS how can I ignore that? My children will now have a new sibling that I will be splitting them up with every time they come to my house. Kind of irresponsible if I don’t think and plan on these life altering situations no? When kids are involved she will always be a part of my life unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 06:04 PM
3

American divorce laws are very strange indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:58 PM
9

Well in his defense he did work at a stencils factory making $15/hr up until he got laid off right before their wedding. Like a solid 1/3 of what I make. Then he got another job at the competing stencil factory but got laid off 2 weeks into that job too. And he's been "looking" for more work ever since.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 02:50 AM
6

I have discovered I love fishing. I love the freedom of doing whatever I want to without having to apologize or gain permission first. I used to video games a lot more when I was married, since the divorce I hardly play them anymore... Its an incredible feeling waking up on your day off and being like... hmm I'm going to go and do xyz... right now because I want to. And you can just simply go and do that shit. Even better, you can be like... I'm going to sit on my ass and do jack shit today beca…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 01:01 AM
8

And they couldn’t care less about all of the lives they ruin in the process. Fking with their kids emotional state… eh who cares… as long as they get what they want, everyone and everything else can burn that gets in their way.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 01:56 AM
6

A woman using the words divorce and fair in the same sentence is a very big red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 07:03 PM
14

I’m predicting all of these girls will have relationship problems in the future which is why I will never date any girl who has no respect for her father. They will never understand how men think and what they seek for in a potential wife because they throw away the men in their lives so easily. Unfortunately in your situation I don’t see another option. I mean have you to keep trying, you just can’t give up. But I agree, if they don’t want to come over don’t force them, just be happy when they …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 04:34 PM
7

I am doing my first taxes now without my ex and I gotta say its nice actually getting a return and not having to share it. Actually, its nice getting a return and not being in so much debt that it was treated each year as a bail out. Its all going to go straight into my boat fund savings.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:08 PM
20

Because it is always someone else's fault for their own level of happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 03:50 PM
9

I have noticed since the divorce my life has gotten much more complicated than it was before, but its gotten way way WAYYYYYYY easier. Worst part about doing all the chores was how she would tell me I wasn't doing them right. Like bitch please, if you want it done differently, then get your ass down off the couch, put your phone down and help for once.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 10:16 PM
5

I take just one peek inside and that's as far as I can handle. Too much PTSD. The mess is practically spilling out the door. Kids are so relieved to get the hell out of there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 10:02 PM
13

We did have sex several times. I had my own place early on but it was too small to have the kids come to me so we did nesting. So the weekends I had the kids we slept in the same house. She refused to leave the house and stay at my place when it was my turn with the narrative that I was "abusive" towards the kids. (Funny how the day the divorce was over she didn't care anymore about them being alone with me.) But yeah she went from never ever having sex with me.. like ever... to turning into thi…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:32 PM
2

I've been reading all of these comments. Some are very good. But then I stumbled upon this comment and can no longer stay quiet. Dude your marriage is over. If you were served after just 2 months and its only been 2 years and you are now separated... its just the beginning. No marriage can last at all with one partner threatening the other with divorce. It shouldn't even be a thought at all unless the other one has done something unforgivable. My ex threatened me with divorce and kicked me out. …
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:03 PM
3

Personally I think its crazy people making dating profiles before their divorce is even finalized. But I think the OP is genius for doing this. If they can't simply wait until they are divorced to start dating again, then they deserve for this to happen to themselves. Many women use sex for personal gain, this is far less than that. Many women getting divorced (almost all) lie to CPS and report their spouses for abuse. This is far less than that. FAR FAR less than that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:05 PM
6

Sometimes just "Time" is the best medicine. I was in your shoes about a year ago. My divorce process was 14 months long, but that was the easy part. I was just simply angry during that time. The real emotional pain didn't start until 4 months post divorce cuz I was just so angry, distracted, and buried all emotion. I would be driving along the highway and then all of a sudden a wave of emotions hits you and you have to pull over and just cry it out. Thoughts of suicide, the whole works... It SUC…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:39 PM
9

Funny how a single woman actually wants to stay in a 5 bedroom house with only 1 kid. I downsized when I got divorced and I love it. Less house equals less upkeep. How is she gonna afford the house when interest rates are 6.5%. Does she realize what this will do to her mortgage payment? My ex tried to do the same thing. She finally refinanced and realized she couldn't afford the new interest rate and is selling the house anyway. Don't let her drag you around forever on that loan. That's what she…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 02:52 PM
7

If a someone accuses a spouse of child abuse, especially with CPS during a divorce case, and that abuse is found to be unsubstantiated, the false accuser should be required to pay for all legal fees with the divorce and any punitive damages that was caused from it. Period. There needs to be an end to this madness.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 02:39 PM
20

SELL the house. If she is so sad about her life changing in the tiniest way then she shouldn’t have thought about getting divorced. I decided to let my ex keep the house because of the same reasons you listed. Guess what? She’s selling the house now because she can’t afford it anyway. All that work to get the kids to have a “stable environment” went down the drain.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 02:29 AM
19

It’s funny how they seem to think our life is so easy and being a sahm is hard. Then reality sits in when they have to get up off the couch and find out their real worth in the world looking for a job. It’s also interesting to see how much easier our lives become and how much more difficult theirs becomes. That’s when you can really tell how skewed the distribution of responsibilities were. Grass is not always greener, it almost never is.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 11:00 PM
3

Work on yourself. If you don't love yourself you cannot love another. People can sense this and that is why confidence is such a highly attractive quality. Find passions, not just hobbies. Hiking and fishing are big ones for me. I changed all my online dating profile pics to ones of me in the middle of my hobbies and like night and day the likes started flooding in. I found a non-entitled woman 1000 times more selfless than my ex was and we are just enjoying life. One idea is going to dance clas…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:25 AM
3

This is why I swipe every dating online profile I see with a dog in it. We all know women are only capable of loving their children and pets unconditionally. Us men are only loved based on conditions of what we can provide for them. I'm not competing against that. In regards to your situation, perhaps offer to purchase her a new dog up to the equal value of the one she wants. Explain that the two animals belong together as siblings and see if she goes for that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:14 AM
2

I am working a double shift back to back the 25th, 26th, and 27th so that I can make some money. Double pay time 😁.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 05:25 PM
1

It is a state calculator. That’s what it spit out though. We were married 10 years. I feel like I pay way more than I should.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 05:22 PM
12

Arizona -3 kids -Me 90k Her 50K Me 30/70 Her Custody, getting more custody currently in the works. I pay $1109 plus 60% of all expenses for healthcare/extra curriculars. Was able to settle on alimony being a one time lump sum out of house equity. She got knocked up and eloped 3 months after divorce finalized and is now selling the house due to mounting credit card debt. Guy she married can't hold a job. Imagine being handed that cash every month, tax free, and still not being able to balance a c…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 06:12 AM
2

Stop allowing her actions to fuel your anger. She's not worth it. She's just another lazy entitled queen soaking up her time on her pedestal. I was so angry when I was in your EXACT situation. Nothing I could do would ever make her happy. But I learned I needed to stop letting her abuse toward me fuel my rage, especially in front of the kids. Once I made the decision to give up on the marriage I had an overwhelming peace of mind knowing I did everything I could to save it, and I had to get out o…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 11:59 PM
3

Oh yeah man. Can’t tell you how many times she would buy something then lose it in the mess so she would have to buy another one😂. I talk about the mess all the time with my kids. They all agree they prefer my lifestyle over hers so they work hard to keep my house clean. It’s so bad over there it’s like ummm where to even start cleaning… It overwhelms them. If I want to cook I can! Clean countertops, clean kitchen. No more opening a kitchen cabinet and having 30,000 Tupperware shit crashing out …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:18 PM
13

Man I feel for you. It’s like I’m looking at a mirror of myself 2 years ago. You have so much to learn and grow from all of this. I recommend reading self help books. They helped me out immensely as I can’t really afford therapy. The day you meet a woman that actually likes and appreciates you is the day everything will change. It’s hard dealing with the “what it could have been” and start living in your new actual reality. Whatever you do, don’t start drinking.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 06:08 AM
7

Yes my kids hate going back to her dump when we swap them. Hands down she was 💯the problem with the mess. I also did the outside maintenance. The hoa has fined her countless times now because she won’t do anything outside. She claims she is a “social cleaner” and likes to clean but not do it alone. BS cuz she never helped me. In reality she is just lazy and needs a boy toy to serve her and prop her on a pedestal.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:53 AM
18

This is just a taste of what is to come! Hang in there!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:47 AM
14

My ex even got one of those stairs baskets. God I hated that thing. Oh I'm also never living in another house with stairs in it! No joke, toward the end of our marriage I would come home, take one look at the shit on the tables, counter tops, floor and couch... I would walk calmly and carefully toward the couch so as to not trip, extend my arm to the back of it, and with one swoop I would sweep everything off to the floor and plop my ass down on it and go ahhhhh. She would just roll her eyes. I …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:07 AM
1

Which part? I have zero reason to lie about this. I don’t have sex before marriage. I am dating a girl who has 2 kids of her own and actually makes more money than I do (by just a little bit.) The longer I date her the more faith I have in our female population and the more I realize the red flags my ex had. She was divorced too but 3 years ago, and has helped me through my insane ups and downs. Some days I feel great, other days I feel like my life is over. It’s getting better, the highs and lo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 12:30 AM
1

I’ll go ask my ex to see if she can lower my child support so that I can afford that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 12:18 AM
1

Noooo don’t go after my grammar! Now I am really offended.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 11:06 AM
1

I don’t believe in sex before marriage for religious reasons. I don’t know if this is some like super chick magnet or something but yeah women tend to like that trait for some reason. But this is why I go home every night or send her away after a super heavy make out session and I just feel so utterly alone. The worst part is idk if I’ll ever trust anyone enough to get married again so I might just live a life of celibacy. This makes me even more depressed. Not sure if ANYONE on here can relate …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 10:54 AM
1

Thanks. I’m going back and looking at these comments from a while ago now. I was in a really bad place. My whole life was ruined. Idk if I’ll ever fully heal from it. Reading other men’s stories only fuels my rage, especially ones that deal with partners who spent every penny they had. It makes me feel like there is no hope out there. I know it’s not true, but I’m so terrified I will meet someone and they will snap and turn into someone else and ruin my life again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 10:46 AM
1

You have it backwards.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 10:36 AM
2

The answer is to not marry… period. And every man in the USA needs to understand this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 10:34 AM
14

This 💯. If someone else can add to your happiness that’s great, but your true happiness is sourced from within.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:44 PM
2

It’s because everything a woman like that spends her money on is as worthless as she is. edit I said a woman “like that” and not all women 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 07:17 AM
14

What worked for me is Fishing, hiking, and golfing. You don't need a group of people to do any of those. TBH my healing didn't begin until 2 months after we finalized. I was mad and angry the entire time. Then anger turned into sadness/depression. And I found my peace at the lake. Get up at 4am, go to the lake and watch the sunrise as you fish. Nothing more therapeutic than that. Saving for a boat right now. Gives me purpose. I used to feel like nobody could ever love me and now I have a girlfri…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 06:52 AM
1

Lesbian divorce rate is 4 times higher than gay men divorce rate. Those are facts. Wonder why that is????????????
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 07:08 AM
2

This was literally my first observation when I moved out. My place was clean. Never ever dirty. She accuses me of being OCD and having a clean place. No the real answer is she is a fucking pig living in her slop. I paid a fortune to have an overcrowded house with shit everywhere. Now my life is peace and quiet and when the kids come over it stays that way and everyone is happy. They never want to go back to her place ever.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 07:01 AM
1

I’m just sad because I feel so alone. I have nobody. Yeah I was miserable being married, but at least I wasn’t alone and I was around my kids every day. I was deceived into moving to another state right before we divorced so I have no friends or family. It’s hard but I’m learning to not have to rely on others for happiness. On the other hand… my career is doing phenomenal… I just hope I don’t have to change shifts because I have good thing going for me right now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 02:10 AM
3

Your right. If I get in a physical altercation with him while CPS is investigating that could be very bad and they could maybe even foster the kids if they see neither parent is responsible. Gah it’s hard just having to sit and watch this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 12:37 PM
7

It’s crazy because every time she pulls shit like this another person from her family is now on my side. She almost doesn’t have anyone on her side anymore. I truly feel bad for her. I know I shouldn’t but deep down I do still care for her well being. I want my kids to be able to have a relationship with their mom, but I also have to do what’s in their best interest. I hate it how she put me in such a hard place.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 12:33 PM
8

Yes I don’t know why I have forgotten about her. She has helped me out recently because she really wants to see her grandkids and I don’t think it’s right to deny a grandparent access due to some beef you have with them that’s between you personally.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 12:29 PM
2

I can't tell you how much my work has suffered trying to date again. The constant texting and mind games can greatly affect your work productivity.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 06:01 AM
2

Man that just sucks I feel for you. My ex got remarried super fast too. She was married just 3 months after we finalized. Things are looking pretty bad for her now and its only been 3 months since then. This woman who divorced me thought she had all the answers and the grass was greener on the other side is having a rude awakening. Your situation is different as most of us were divorced by our ex and not the other way around. It does get better, but it will take time. Do not drink, it will only …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 09:13 AM
3

I am with ya there. I have been finalized 6 months now, from an 11 year marriage. I'm 34. and I met someone who I really like but I don't know if I like her simply because I am a brain dead ape right now latching onto the first thing I see. She is also divorced, but has been for 3 years now and is much further along the healing process than I. She understands and respects my healing and hasn't pushed for anything physical until now. I told her I felt ready and we made out like super hot and heav…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 08:52 AM
2

This is how mine was done. The divorce decree holds her accountable. Like you are saying... once your name is off the deed you no longer have claim on that house, but my attorney had it written in the decree so it was iron clad. *edit. we had it written that the house had to be refinanced with my name off the mortgage and paid out $73,000 by a certain date or the house get immediately listed and I still get $73,000 of the proceeds either way. So in other words, she would get fucked bigtime if sh…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 05:10 AM
1

If my only concern I had about my ex hiding something was being a racist then we would still be married and I wouldn't have been used, abused, and loved conditionally by a sick narcissistic gold digging manipulative whore. But you got your reasons ehemm I mean one reason to pull the nuclear trigger on your family. RIP kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 04:41 AM
2

My ex does this all the time. She just banned her mom from seeing her grandkids. I asked did you ban your mom from seeing the kids even at soccer practices? She said no I never said that. I said well how come you told me you didn't want her there? Then she said I asked her not to come. They do this all the time. Say one thing then say they didn't say that thing when you call them out. Then this woman wants to destroy her entire family because the man is questioning why his kid came out black whi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 04:23 AM
5

I found something that I am truly passionate about: fishing. Before that I tried lots of different hobbies but this one stuck. Got a small boat and now I am saving up for a bigger boat. I found that women tend to like men more that are driven and passionate about something. I found a girl that makes me feel a way my ex never did and connect on a way I never have before. So advice: 1. Don’t find a hobby, search for a passion. 2. Work on self confidence and drive. 3. Discover you don’t need a wome…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 03:44 PM
1

Make sure she understands what humility and empathy are. The audio book called the power of vulnerability by brene brown is great for this. It has helped me immensely and completely changed the way I parent my kids now. They completely trust me and have no fear in sharing anything with me because they know I genuinely care for them without judgement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 05:23 AM
7

I did not know how to become happy until I became divorced. Happiness is sourced internally and cannot be collect by another. You cannot love anyone more than you love yourself. It sounds like you are depressed and need a break to fix yourself from the amount of abused you have sustained. Only once you are fixed, respect yourself, become confident, and find how to enjoy life alone will you be able to recognize another women who truly understands you and compliments you perfectly. I’m sorry I fee…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 05:52 AM
1

It was something in the range of $1-2k I believe.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:28 AM
9

I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but for me, come 3-4 months out from finalizing… was when I was able to start processing things emotionally. Be prepared because it can come randomly when you aren’t expecting it. My life has super highs and super lows. Try to figure out how to navigate the lows and you will heal quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:26 AM
1

Housing expenses aren’t part of the formula, although that IS what CS is for. “Housing, food, clothing/supplies” My whole beef is now she has another contributor to housing and I don’t. It is assumed when calculating CS l, each individual, based on expenses and income, would be able to afford the same type of housing. Well that’s not true anymore. “Can’t compel a new spouse to pay for the children” well why tf not? Did they not know what they were getting themselves into? They shouldn’t even giv…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 07:30 PM
5

Yes I understand. I’m going from supporting 3 children to 4 now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 11:32 AM
1

Whoever files first has to also pay their attorney to draft the official divorce decree if you are able to settle. She filed, then she asked me if I wanted to split the cost of the fee to draft the decree from her attorney, which already charged twice the rate mine did. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 11:01 AM
4

Mine was a female and she did an ok job for very cheap. What I think is most important is to ask them how busy divorce law is right now. Get an idea of how many cases they have and if they are overbooking themselves or not. My female attorney was good in the sense she knew everything my ex was thinking and had tried on me already. She opened my mind to how women think and she was scarily accurate about everything my ex already pulled without me even telling her barely any details yet.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 10:47 AM
5

I have to lie to my kids all the time about my ex. The hard thing is that my kids are very smart. So I will lie about it being mutual and stuff but then they will ask me questions about random very specific things that I am honest with them about. The problem is once all of these questions start building up the end result doesn't fit my narrative anymore. Then they say but dad that doesn't make any sense. And I simply just throw my hands up in the air and say I know. Oh well I tried.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 10:29 AM
2

It was written in my decree that each party will exchange financial information at the end of the year. But I don't see what the point of that really is? We would need a huge change of circumstance to even have it become close to pursuing.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 06:49 AM
4

My divorce was horrible. I was used and abused for years during my marriage. Do I ever regret doing it? Absolutely not. 3 beautiful children came out of it and are my life. Without them I feel like I would have no purpose in life. Every moment in your life is what makes you you. I don’t regret any decision I have made… ehh aside from letting her keep the purple mattress. If I met the right woman I would marry again. The problem is they simply don’t exist anymore 😂.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 02:04 AM
1

Bro I have a hard time reading this. But if I got anything out of it, no your aren't the reason for her doing anything. Its her choice. Happiness is sourced internally, it isn't collected from someone else. She is thinking its your job to make her happy. It isn't. She needs to fix herself and you need to support her if she makes any progress at all, but its ultimately up to her. This is why I am avoiding anyone who drink alcohol at all now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:27 AM
3

Just delete the texts. They are pointless, fake, and she clearly doesn't care about her son. Plus your son will be even more confused as to why she is texting him during the day. Don't let that druggie anywhere near your son.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:22 AM
7

Everything a woman does for you is conditional upon herself getting more in return. Chris rock said it, women can only love their kids and pets unconditionally. Everything else is a fkin contract that can be broken at anytime and always has a financial incentive for them to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 02:04 AM
0

Wow. And why did she get married if she didn't expect to put out? I mean how long out of their day does it really take to have sex? We are expected to serve them all day long and they cant even do one 5-10 min act for us? Like its so much work? Jeesh, they act like having sex is some godlike all day affair they have to devote to. I never understood what is so fucking hard about fucking?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 08:01 AM
2

I agree with everything said here. I also will point out that person simply does not exist. And I mean out of the 3-4 billion women on the planet, I would strike out 8 billion times with finding my equal.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 07:51 AM
11

Well said. They are saying the Barbie movie also caused another wave of women to break up relationships. When a husband tells his wife what to do he is a misogynist/narcisisst/controlling/ -> insert any other insult. When a Hollywood movie comes out women will listen to every word and await for the sequel for further instruction.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 10:23 PM
2

Just be glad you own less things that remind yourself of the shitty life with her. But yeah, would have been nice if you could of sold them. I hear ya there.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 10:12 PM
3

The only reason she wants to be friends is because it benefits her more than it benefits you. If it was the other way around she would be long gone. That's how women work.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 05:31 AM
1

You are so very right about the physical activity. I started an antidepressant and it has made me absolutely exhausted. I’ve heard this is normal as the body adjusts but yeah I’ve been so tired I don’t want to do anything. I’ve noticed it is getting better though. Got some good cardio in this morning and I’m already feeling so much better about myself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:32 PM
1

If you have kids you have no choice but to retain contact and the kids say stuff. I don’t ask them anything except when I am genuinely concerned. But when they do talk I am like a dog lapping away at a T-Bone steak.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 03:51 PM
3

🤔 That’s not a bad idea… Thanks for the pointer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 03:44 PM
5

I am. In fact, I even turned down an opportunity for some weed last night. I’m not taking anything that could inhibit myself cuz I know it could fuel an addiction right now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 03:40 PM
3

Lol my family was joking whether or not she would get a prenup to protect the assets that she stole from me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:57 PM
3

They were going to get married in November but just eloped because he got laid off and was about to be evicted so he moved himself on in. I do have an exit strategy with my job. My next promotion would be over several hospitals and I would now work from home. I am doing everything in my power to get this job. I have to get this job. I know this is only temporary, it just feels like it will never end. I was going through divorce for 14 months and kept thinking this is almost over I’m almost there…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:32 PM
16

You can blame Hollywood for this. They are living in a fantasy world of entitlement. They think everything is given and not earned. My whole stupid millennial generation are idiots for breathing it in and drinking the kool aid. There is a special place in hell for these selfish “mothers.”
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 07:10 AM
5

Exactly. Another golden rule with women. The second they have an opportunity gain more from someone else, they will go after it without any regret. Having children and caring for them with a stable father and mother figure completely goes out the window due to blatant selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 07:23 PM
1

It is very hard. Especially if you have young kids. This woman will always be a part of you life whether you want it or not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 07:19 PM
2

Which is interesting because my divorce was nasty and yeah we were separated 14 months but I don’t think I processed anything until after we finalized. It just depends on how long it takes your body to process it I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 07:16 PM
4

Yeah you see you are screwed no matter what. Because if she loses the weight and now your sex life improves she will accuse you of only loving her for sex. This is what she accused me of. What your response to that should be is: of course… how could I love you if you don’t even love yourself enough to take care of yourself. I would tell her if she wants to do this medication she should get a part time job and pay for it herself as a way of feeling self fulfilled.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:14 PM
1

I’m no expert on this subject but usually if physical abuse is involved, there has already been heaps and bounds of emotional abuse leading up to it. At least that’s my thinking…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:09 PM
4

Mine was kind of tricky. She checked out and wanted to leave me but was trying to take advantage of me before she pulled the trigger like secretly recording me and stuff. Once I found this out I divorced her to protect myself. So I guess I would say she divorced me even though I technically started it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:06 PM
13

Oh so basically almost half of all women are gold diggers. Got it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:03 PM
37

My ex got the gastric sleeve done and lost like 70 lbs. she was like 220 and got down to 150. Then I paid and got her teeth done too. Then she also asked to have lasik eye surgery done so I paid for that too. She also never worked but got her masters degree. Then she divorced me one year later and bragged to her friends that she got all of this paid for on my dime. Divorced in April and now she’s getting remarried in November while I am working my ass off to pay child support. Be careful when a …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:00 PM
1

I second the PB and J thing. Saving a fortune on food lol. And yes do not drink alcohol. Drinking alcohol will not allow your body and mind to work through this and as vulnerable as it is right now it will only cause a bad addiction fueled as a coping mechanism. I feel for you. And FK women. Only a heartless snake would leave someone after 5 months. That is the definition of giving zero effort.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 11:56 PM
1

I need to keep a log book as well. I’m already watching them far more than the agreed upon times. Pretty much every time I have them for the after school days she asks if they can just spend the night anyway. I’m just going to be nice and ask if it’s ok they just spend those 2 nights with my anyway from now on. Being as lazy as she is she will not object.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 11:47 PM
2

Yes this is my concern. I am doing everything in my power to prove I am a great dad. I have thousands of hours of videos and pictures. I’m going to every school activity and parent teacher conference when my schedule permits. She accused me of these things too but now she has no proof behind any of her initial accusations. The fact of the matter is she only wants them more for child support while everyone else including her fiancé serve her and do it all for her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:18 PM
1

Yes I’ve read a lot on that. My respect in my marriage only went one way. But is there no way for a relationship to have respect go both ways? Or will all women simply just revert to domineering the second you start caving into their demands? Part of me feels like I have to have hope not all women are like this, but I just can’t think of a situation where this doesn’t happen sadly. We are forced to be dicks and pretend to be narcs, because if we don’t, she will assume that role for us. Sorry don…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 11:12 PM
5

This was my life. I worked graveyard shift at a hospital. She was stay at home wife. We unfortunately didn't have a master bathroom so if I had to pee during the day while I was sleeping I would have to creep to the bathroom. Almost every single time I did this one of her friends was over and 50% of the time they were in the middle of bitching about me. I was so pathetic I simply snuck back into my room and pretended I didn't hear anything because I didn't want to start a fight and I was afraid …
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:32 AM
1

Where abouts are you from? I'm in Phoenix area. I wonder if it varies by city or if its just bad everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:18 AM
4

Thanks that is solid advice. I am very good with treating them well and respecting them... probably a little too much. I've had girls long ago before I was married have to tell me that its ok for me to touch them lol. I hear stories about guys talking about sex straight off the bat and I just get wide eyed. I think I'm a little bit old fashioned in that sense. And yeah... having fun with my kids is not hard to do. Its literally what I live for. Every weekend they are with me I have an itinerary …
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:14 AM
7

This is true. The only difference between the girl then and the girl now is that the girl back then had something to gain by being with you. The girl now has something to gain by not being with you. Everything else in between is Oscars.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 01:46 AM
3

Mhmmmm my ex is a teacher. Very loving. So much that she’s getting married in 2 months.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 01:41 AM
4

I think where I failed was I took the supposedly great marriage advice of always “I’m sorry your right honey”. If you say it too many times like I did, eventually she does think she’s always right. And before you know it you have $24,000 in credit card debt. It turns out she was never right about anything. So with my next partner it will be “ok honey I guess your right, now get off your ass, get a job, and pay for it yourself”
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 01:18 PM
2

You probably don’t have those feelings because you aren’t divorced yet. The healing for me didn’t even start until 4 months after I finalized and I am a huge wreck. Don’t think of your separation as your divorce date. Your divorce date is your finalization date. All that time in between is pain and anguish and in the flames where you don’t have time to reflect and heal. Have you read the sticky posted at the top of the group? It’s best to wait at least one year before dating.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 10:39 AM
2

Happened to me too. Sucks. I got 3 kids too and they are older than yours which makes it harder. My daughter(8) hates him. They are getting married in 2 months. I get mad thinking about it but there is nothing I can do other than being there for my kids. And when the kids are with them just grab a bowl of popcorn and wait for the day for it all to explode. I can't wait to use my passive aggressive and sarcasm to its fullest and work it deep into her wounds as she has done to me. At least be glad…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 08:38 AM
7

Naturally women are propped up by Hollywood Romantic films as people that men should fawn over and they are perfect. So naturally every woman thinks they are perfect and should be treated as such. This builds a sense of entitlement. How many Hollywood Romantic films do you see that last scene where the woman is running to the man to apologize and say they were a piece of crap and to forgive them? See woman love to be worshipped like a God and act like a God and reward their pets if they feel lik…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:50 AM
1

Yeah I tried that one. Didn't do me anything and made things way worse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:01 AM
8

That is what I was thinking the other day. Perhaps my marriage needed better quality dates. Don't just half ass it and go to the same restaurant and expect her to put out. I wish I had tried other stuff like go to a dance class and embarrass yourselves, or something like that, that is different and mentally stimulating. Something neither one of you has done and take some risk. Who knows? maybe you both like it and make it your new thing. Bad memories can also be funny ones down the road. I would…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 06:57 AM
0

Sounds like she needs to put more zoloft in her cereal in the morning. All moms are on this right?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 06:49 AM
1

I had a postnup done for an inheritance I received from my grandfathers passing. We never went to trial. It was conditional that the money had to go straight into the equity of my house. We had an ADR meeting with a retired judge serving as our mediator and when he looked at the postnup he said it looked good, but he also said these things sometimes still don’t hold up in a full trial. If the other party can for instance argue that the money got mixed in all over amongst the community finances i…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 09:58 AM
2

3 months? That can’t be right. You meant years… Or was this like one of those wake up in Vegas who is this next to me type of things?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 09:47 AM
1

Haha funny! My ex was also allergic. Yeah I’ve thought about getting 2. Supposedly they do a lot better, but then I hear you should also have 2 litter boxes… I’m afraid if I got lucky and got a cat that doesn’t have any downsides like scratching, marking territory, puking, etc. honestly she’s a great cat. She won’t even eat any food unless it’s in her bowl leaving me worried free about accidentally leaving something out. Now what if the second cat did all of those things. Gah can’t decide.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:53 AM
1

Yes those were references to the mother of my children. If you had the blessing of knowing her, you would consider those references to be very kind.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:39 AM
5

Well she was kinda pissed at me when I got back. Was meowing like non stop and unusually snuggly. Yeah perhaps that was a bad idea 🤣. But I guess I got a lucky cat cuz she always does her business in the litter box. Not 1 single mess when I got back. And I haven't even heard her have a hairball before. I thought cats were supposed to have those.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:57 AM
3

More importantly, what kind of man is she dating? What kind of guy would be ok with his girlfriend not wanting to take her own kids to disneyland with her? If she doesn't love her own kids why would she love his kids, or even him in the long run? Too bad we can't get this guy on this forum and talk some sense into him. Aside from that though, there is nothing you can do, so don't try to dwell too hard on it. Just be there for your son as he needs you now more than ever. You sound like a great da…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:48 AM
14

When a woman 'falls out of love,' it's not coming back. Do not waste your time. This is solid truth. The empowered feminist movement of today has turned all women into prideful entitled brats. They are incapable of being humble, admitting fault, or undergoing a change or compromise for someone else. Chivalry does not exist in the female language, even though they want the power that would require such responsibility. They simply "love" someone until they are no longer getting enough benefit out …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:30 AM
3

If my Ex had showed me even a shred of the amount of love she poured into our dog, I would have been the happiest man on the earth. For this reason I now have a bitter taste for them. And every time I see a dating profile where a woman shows a dog and lists it as her world I cringe and say hell no I'm not competing against that thing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:12 AM
2

It is not an accurate picture to imagine how you will be a dad while you currently have a ball and chain dragging you down into a suicidal depression. Picture your life with your kids free from the abysmal monster getting in the way for a solid month. Suddenly life is grand. The judge will not take this into consideration.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:16 PM
2

You had me at your a great dad. One thing about divorced dads… if you think you are a great dad now, you have no idea what is to come. My ex always accused me of being a horrible emotionally abusive husband and father and after hearing it for so long I began to believe it. I was so down and depressed that my relationship not only with friends and family, but also with my kids suffered. So when she came at me with a similar proposal for custody times I agreed thinking I was a bad dad and should b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:05 PM
2

Every single millennial woman in the USA is an entitled little brat. And they all pretend to be feminists and all for this woman power and better pay in the work force. But then when it comes time to calculate alimony are they still all for feminism and doing it own their own!?!? NOPE! nothing but crickets. Any Alimony being paid more than 5 years needs to be outlawed as it is straight up theft. Who it their right mind needs more than 5 years to get up off their fat ass and make a career? Oh tha…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 03:34 AM
5

Alimony is the stupidest thing ever invented by man. Websters dictionary should update their definition of entitlement to simply say one word: Alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 03:23 AM
1

It sounds like she is extremely manipulative and controlling. She needs you, but wants you right where she wants. On a leash, but doesn’t want that leash too short or too long. She doesn’t want you to gain a degree because then you will have more options, which is bad for her. I am so sick of women that act like princesses and need to be worshipped. I would do what’s best for you. Stop caring what she thinks and get your degree anyway. If she divorces you then she saves you the trouble in the me…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 05:14 PM
1

This is very interesting because your story is like the opposite of mine. I came from money and she did not. My parents are very generous, but my parents were also very good at teaching their kids to be self sufficient and humble about it. So any time one of their 4 children ran into an unplanned major life event my parents wanted to help. They still make us work hard and watch us struggle with everything in life. I’m a very hard worker and would never ask my parents for money or help, I would n…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 04:18 PM
2

At one point we were talking and she asked me if I learned anything. But then she quickly corrected herself as she realized how insulting that was (which caught me off guard as she never did this during our marriage) and said oh well what I mean is I definitely learned something and was wondering if you did too. I just nodded my head. I didn’t want to start a fight or anything, but in my mind when I nodded my head I was thinking yes I learned how much better off my life has been without you in i…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 05:07 PM
3

I have no choice but to stay in contact. But I have 3 kids all under the age of 10. This involves a lot of coordination. It sucks. Especially seeing her with her new fiancé. If I could have zero contact I would totally 💯
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 01:50 AM
1

Thank you that means a lot to me. For a while I thought I was some sociopath or something and never understood why people felt the way they do after a breakup. Sure I was angry as hell, but never felt like this… Glad to know I am human I guess but it sucks too. Unfortunately I don’t have time to see a therapist, nor do I have the money. So I will just read lots of books and try to work through this on my own. Who needs a therapist anyway when you got Reddit at your disposal 😂.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 11:08 PM
1

Who is this partner you are talking about bringing you fulfillment? The only “partner” I ever had literally sucked the life out of me and almost led me to suicide. If that’s fulfillment then count me out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:33 AM
2

I was married for 11 years. I did everything I could to save it. We were miserable, but I had that mindset of divorce is bad. For 6 years she kept trying to find a way to divorce me, while keeping up appearances and seeming like a victim in it all. She finally found a way to get me through CPS so I had no choice but to divorce her to protect myself and not lose the kids. Its ironic though because she is now failing financially, had to get off her ass and get a job for once, and I have never been…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 06:24 AM
2

This. I think its obvious she's having big regret. She always thought divorce would solve her problems, but she never realized divorce only creates new problems. She thought a line of prince charmings would be waiting for her. Now someone is having big regrets, but too prideful to admit it. Do not cave, it is not forgivable what she was doing to you. A spouse should NEVER threaten the other with divorce. If they are, then they have already mentally checked out of the marriage, and poor soul who …
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 02:07 AM
9

It sure is ironic how a wife calling you a narc is consequentially putting you down, elevating herself, and characteristic of something a narc would do. Which is why if my ex ever accuses me of being a narc again, I will respond by simply saying. "Interesting, that is something a narc would say." I swear the words "emotional abuse" piss me off more than any other in the entire English language. First of all, an emotion is something you can control. You can CHOOSE to be offended or not. Whereas p…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 01:24 AM
3

That is my bet at 3 years. My family has been betting between 1 and 2 years. They aren’t even married and I found out they have already gone to couples counseling. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 08:26 PM
3

My point of this observation is she could do way better, but is choosing not to because she needs a second source of income FAST. She is just taking the first guy that is as desperate as her to be married but the poor guy is getting married because he probably thinks she is genuinely interested in him. I am not jealous in the slightest, cheating on me was not the cause of the divorce, it was the fake CPS allegations and me initiating the divorce to protect myself from her and not lose the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 08:24 PM
4

That’s disgusting. Sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 02:37 AM
6

I have considered it because she tried to report me to them when trying to find a way to divorce me while keeping up appearances like she was some sort of victim. Of course, it went nowhere... but I now have a dismissed case against me in my file. It doesn't matter for me for my career, but she is a teacher, so if I did that she would become unemployed making things a lot harder.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 09:49 PM
3

I am not sure. I am in Arizona. From a quick search it says there is no specified age, but usually starts around age 12 depending on maturity. *Edit: Yeah I told her first up Im not doing anything without receipts, but now Im not paying anything at all cuz I am not supposed to and if I do now it will be setting a new precent for every single year.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 09:42 PM
2

I can't imagine the feeling. I was lucky and swapped places with my mother in law. Until I got my own place. During that time we did nesting and would trade places when it was our time with the kids. Everyone agreed as awkward as it was, it was far better than still being around each other. A new place will feel amazing no matter the size. Hang in there it only gets better each day.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 09:39 PM
2

Honestly dude, being in a cardboard box will be better than sharing the penthouse suite at the Bellagio with that woman. I had to downgrade too, but I discovered a smaller place is sooo much better anyway. Way less upkeep... Unlike my last house with her pretty much being a candidate for an episode of hoarders, my place is spotless everyday. Even when the kids come over it still stays clean! Turns out she was the slob making 99% of the mess herself. What I recommend: Only take expensive useful t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 06:28 AM
9

Oh nooo.... You better fake your own death or something because they are going to find that money very easily. Only exception would be is if you were managing money for Hunter Biden or something because nobody in the world is interested in that money even if it fell on their face.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 06:16 AM
2

Is she also an online shopaholic and a hoarder with 10,000 sentimental useless objects? Because usually that personality type goes hand in hand with that type of person.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 04:43 AM
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