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Ithelda Archive

View 2 posts and 145 comments by Ithelda on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
199

Edu./Occu.Ithelda/r/MensRights02/09/17 09:02 PM
5

QuestionsIthelda/r/MensRights18/05/16 08:09 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

I was intrigued by her a while back, but like you said, her points started to seem shallow. She came off as defensive and illogical too many times for me to keep listening to her. There's just better people to listen to if you want to hear about the opinions she holds.
/r/MensRights11/08/18 03:43 PM
3

I'd like to hope they really did just mean consent once isn't consent for future sex, but your question was deleted because of the cliche "feminists don't want to discuss things, just assert them". Maybe that's too much benefit of the doubt, but they really can be sticklers about stifling questions :/
/r/MensRights12/05/18 02:21 PM
37

That just means you can have sex one time and that doesn't automatically mean you consent to sex a second time at a later point, right? Am I missing something else about this that's troubling?
/r/MensRights12/05/18 11:24 AM
37

We've all worked, we've all done the same job as men and for whatever reason have earned less What? We have? I must have missed that memo. Am woman and cannot confirm. I've worked multiple jobs and have never been paid less than my male coworkers
/r/MensRights08/05/18 04:13 PM
12

Is this meant to be a joke??? I really want to have faith in humanity and believe no one could possibly be THAT out of touch with reality. Like if I had to list three things men commonly did to impress women, off the top of my head it'd be "provide housing, do physical feats, and give gifts". Who tf thinks men don't do that? And where are all the women building houses and giving gifts to their men if that's such a great way to flirt??
/r/MensRights07/04/18 10:14 PM
11

Wow, this really struck me with how ironic it is that feminism claims it helps men. Like "the patriarchy hurts men too; the patriarchy forces men to be stoic and emotionless and have no support system, and feminism will help!" Except no, it clearly doesn't help. Because deep down they really believe that men need to shut up and make room for women's pain, and support only women, and understand that no one has it as bad as the oppressed women. They're just reinforcing what is supposedly the fault…
/r/MensRights18/03/18 12:36 PM
1

Perhaps you find it hard to believe because you've never been and probably never will be in such a situation Very true. I think another reason though is when I think about the short guys I've known throughout high school, college, coworkers, family, etc... none of them seem to have had much trouble finding people attracted to them and marrying lovely, beautiful women who adore them. At least not more trouble than the taller guys I know... and none of them are wealthy or anything. That's not to s…
/r/MensRights05/02/18 01:50 PM
1

Yeah, that's true, I don't doubt the preference for short men is pretty rare compared to other preferences. I feel like I'm hearing this idea though that short men are basically screwed from finding love or something. Maybe I'm misunderstanding. I find that hard to believe though.
/r/MensRights04/02/18 11:31 PM
1

Well that's a ridiculous standard... I wish I could say most women don't really care that much about height but what do I know, I could just be in my own little world over here
/r/MensRights04/02/18 05:32 AM
6

Agreed. Are you saying 5'10" is considered short though? That seems crazy to me
/r/MensRights04/02/18 03:23 AM
2

Sure, most women seem to gush over tall guys. A couple of these comments though make it sound like an impossibility that women could prefer short men. But maybe I'm just being picky over what was meant to be a generalization
/r/MensRights04/02/18 02:35 AM
3

I dunno I particularly am attracted to men my height or shorter and not to tall men, and I know a couple other women who are the same. Maybe it's rare but we exist...
/r/MensRights04/02/18 01:15 AM
8

Lol. If that's what you got out of some random, unimportant woman sharing her experience with feminism on this sub one random time, then I think you're being a little triggered
/r/MensRights16/01/18 01:18 AM
14

Well, I'll always get behind better sex education. For women too- I mean, I had a repressed religious upbringing and there was so much I didn't know about my own body, which I know helped escalate some of the bad sexual experiences I've had. Like what you mentioned about not being wet- I had that happen too but I didn't even realize that was a cue that I wasn't aroused. I didn't know what a clitoris was. I didn't know women could orgasm. Anyway, I agree there are men who do take advantage of wom…
/r/MensRights15/01/18 08:00 PM
4

As a woman I detest that now learning how to stand up for yourself is somehow "victim blaming". It's keeping us in this antiquated gender role pedestal that we're all vulnerable helpless maidens and the strong man is the only one who can be counted on to make choices while we just sit back and let things happen to us. Yeah, it can be hard to communicate, and you can feel weak or awkward or pressured. Learn to speak up and get out of situations. That's your responsibility, you can't expect the wo…
/r/MensRights15/01/18 06:28 PM
3

Wait... seriously? You've never heard of any anti-feminist women? They exist.
/r/MensRights31/12/17 02:02 AM
6

I literally do not understand this. You can be in a consensual relationship, OR you can be a victim. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
/r/MensRights15/12/17 01:48 PM
1

I spent a huge part of my life being afraid of men and feeling like most men in public were potential predators. One day I actually started thinking about my good and bad experiences with men and looking up statistics about crimes that were actually likely to happen to me... and I realized most of those fears were entirely all in my head.
/r/MensRights11/12/17 07:07 PM
5

Good lord my brain didn't even notice that part, I was too focused on the rape joke thing. How out of touch do you have to be to think that?!
/r/MensRights11/12/17 06:58 PM
1

Yeah, honestly all the large/ tall men I've seen in public transit situations seem pretty self-conscious, as if they're trying to be as small as possible. "Manspreading" is supposed to prove that all men are comfortable in public taking up as much space as possible but that absolutely isn't true
/r/MensRights03/12/17 02:32 PM
4

Yikes. If leg spreading assists in not accidentally squishing your own balls that's understandable, haha. Maybe penises are less of an issue but I was picturing like, that Mexican dude with the massive dong. If he needed some extra leg room next to me he's welcome to it
/r/MensRights02/12/17 08:45 PM
1

Haha, that was my other theory, that they just had an impossibly big dick
/r/MensRights02/12/17 07:58 PM
1

The couple times in my life it's happened, the man wasn't particularly fat or broad shouldered. And like I said, it was a couple times in my life, so I don't think a couple (possibly thoughtless? Or possibly just as uncomfortable as me?) men are proof of an epidemic of manspreading. Still, I've wondered if that kind of spread width was defensible under "it's how men are built" if they were on the smaller side.
/r/MensRights02/12/17 07:49 PM
3

"There's nothing we can do" surely doesn't apply to men with their knees like, two feet apart though, does it? Is THAT much of a spread necessary? Knees spread at a right angle's width and touching me is the only thing that's bothered me. Edit: y'all downvoting, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just ignorant about male anatomy :)
/r/MensRights02/12/17 07:30 PM
3

Yeah like, what kind of rapey pyscho would you have to be to want the other person to get NO enjoyment out of sex whatsoever The article's trying to be like "pleasure isn't bad, but it's bad if he thinks your orgasm is a 'masculinity achievementtt'...." please. Like a girl's ego wouldn't be crushed if a guy couldn't get off on her
/r/MensRights04/11/17 02:04 PM
29

The majority of pleasure I get from sex is watching a guy get turned on and have an orgasm because of me. If I didn't care about anything but my own pleasure I'd fuckin masturbate. This article is so moronic
/r/MensRights03/11/17 11:47 PM
10

The whole "no uterus, no opinion" thing is such a bad argument. People can understand the moral implications of a situation even if they're not personally involved. They don't mind that men have opinions about abortion as long as the men are pro-choice. And the "only women can have an opinion" stance is pointless since there as so many pro-life women anyway.
/r/MensRights01/11/17 10:53 PM
2

True. I wasn't sure where you were going with the post, like if Ellen specifically was a hypocrite; or if you thought men being objectified was what was disgusting. I agree though, something like this with women would I'm sure be called out as sexist.
/r/MensRights28/10/17 03:30 AM
78

What's the hypocrisy? Is she against female strippers or something?
/r/MensRights28/10/17 12:37 AM
1

I was a feminist for a long time, and I saw the world like that for years. But it just doesn't sit right with me to see things like that any more, as I feel it's inaccurate and unhelpful in ending gender discrimination in general. Could I be wrong? Maybe. Maybe you're right, and I'm missing the evidence from the experts, and I might not understand everything about privilege, and I'm on the wrong side of facts. But for all the books on feminism that I've read I've still changed my mind about the …
/r/MensRights17/10/17 07:29 PM
2

I've been lurking around for a year or so now, I plan on staying :)
/r/MensRights17/10/17 07:24 PM
2

I guess, though I'm kind of ignorant about the details honestly, since I don't know anyone who's gotten divorced and I could never imagine trying to screw my husband over.... Why? Was I making it sound like all marriage is great and perfect or something? I didn't mean that.
/r/MensRights17/10/17 07:11 PM
1

I mean, again. What you're saying in general makes sense but I just don't agree that men don't face gendered discrimination for the most part. On a purely anecdotal level, the things the men in my life have experienced are at least as shitty (if not far more so) as the things I've experienced as a woman. I know personal evidence doesn't prove something is true for everyone in the country, but still... any story I hear online about what a woman's gone through currently in the USA in 2017 I can fi…
/r/MensRights17/10/17 07:08 PM
1

wait... An artist known only by the pen-name ‘Mac’ has illustrated how divorce affected their family Should this cause outrage? This is someone's personal experience of divorce. Did I miss where they're trying to make a blanket statement about all fathers?
/r/MensRights16/10/17 01:32 PM
2

Wtf. I can barely read this, it's so ridiculous. I'm a married woman and I don't identify with a single thing she's claiming about marriage. I know people exaggerate to write a click-worthy article but, come on. Maybe she had a horrible experience being married but that's her experience, not the way marriage is for everyone. good lord
/r/MensRights16/10/17 01:23 PM
1

Well, I think I agree with that in theory, but I'm guessing we disagree about how privileged men exactly are. From what I've seen in life class privilege seems to have the most effect on people's lives. At this point in time, my personal experience as a woman is that I see that some things suck about being a man and some things suck about being a woman. I'm not convinced women in the US have it so much worse than men that we need to declare that across the board all men have male privilege. Whic…
/r/MensRights16/10/17 12:58 PM
3

I'm not sure what the benefit is in calling it "male privilege" though. Let's say men had a social custom among each other where they greeted every male on the street with a punch in the face. Let's say this originally started out of a competition to impress women, but now women really just don't give a shit. Doesn't it seem kind of silly for the men, in the middle of knocking each other out, to be like "you women and your female privilege! You don't have to deal with this!".... like... what? Ju…
/r/MensRights16/10/17 12:24 AM
6

Do I get to dismiss her tho since I'm a woman too? This isn't about feelings getting hurt over negative comments. Sure, it would hurt from a man or a woman. But that's not an example of male privilege. It's implying men and their privilege and their oppression of women makes women be mean to each other. That's silly
/r/MensRights15/10/17 11:58 PM
2

I dunno, I was a feminist for a long time and a ton of the stuff talked about was stupid internet outrage about a tweet or whatever. Are there real issues for both men and women and stuff like this is kinda dumb? Yeah... but feminists can be soooo petty as well.
/r/MensRights15/10/17 11:52 PM
4

It's not the most important post ever, but I still think it's related to men's rights because most feminists constantly push the idea of "male privilege" and thus deny that men have any rights in need of defending. Sometimes changing people's minds involves debunking a myth a stupid post is perpetuating.
/r/MensRights15/10/17 11:41 PM
3

It's worth refuting if you and your girlfriend are able to have respectful conversations about disagreements. Look, I know some women are crazy but as a woman and former feminist, I dunno if all these other commenters saying you should immediately dump her are right. My husband and I have changed each other's minds about a lot of things in life. Feminism is a really easy bandwagon for girls to jump on to, and it's also not impossible to convince us off of it (case in point, me). Or maybe she's j…
/r/MensRights12/10/17 05:14 PM
1

Someone else might have a better answer, but I think things like this are posted because 1) the "wage gap" is one of the examples feminists give for why women are more oppressed than men and thus men's rights don't matter, and 2) some feminists think the way to fix the wage gap is for all jobs to be 50/50 male and female employees- but this can displace men who actually want a job and are skilled, and replace them with unenthusiastic women who are just there to fill a quota. At least that's what…
/r/MensRights24/09/17 05:20 AM
4

There already are laws and policies against paying men and women unequally, though....?
/r/MensRights23/09/17 10:07 PM
5

I'm a woman and I haven't worked as a parking attendant, but I'm willing to bet I'd rather do that than take care of some of the kids I've watched all day. Taking care of multiple children drove me insane. Solitude sounds much nicer.
/r/MensRights23/09/17 09:58 PM
1

I'm not saying the majority of women don't think their husbands are stupid (I don't know), and I think it's pretty shit the way a lot of men are portrayed. I'm just questioning whether TV watching habits are sufficient evidence of real-life behavior. People watch a lot of violence in TV and movies, does that mean people are violent? People are pretty attractive in TV and movies, does that mean most people are slim and hot?
/r/MensRights17/09/17 10:24 PM
1

I do think ads like that wouldn't be run if they didn't work. Then again, it seems a lot of ads are meant to stroke people's egos in one way or another. So does this mean the ad works because women already think their husbands are stupid? Or does it work because in that brief moment it strokes the woman's ego, even if she doesn't act like that in real life? Ads present a fantasy, and you buy the product to achieve the fantasy. Maybe women just wish they were more competent than their husbands. O…
/r/MensRights17/09/17 01:31 PM
1

I'm interested in both of these claims that most women either see their husbands as leaders, or women see their husbands as bumbling idiots. Is tv an accurate representation of the majority of women? Does anyone know of research about this, or are these all just personal perspectives? I know there are people on either end but it seems to me most women I've met see their husbands in the middle, as partners. But that's just my personal experience so I could be wrong too.
/r/MensRights17/09/17 01:15 PM
1

Ughh I'm so embarrassed I used to think like this. If only feminism was just caring about actual instances of sexism. The whole convoluted framework of ideology about patriarchy and insisting women are the most oppressed ever is just.... ridiculous.
/r/MensRights13/09/17 12:54 PM
2

Well, personally I think most crimes aren't worth the risk, but then, I'm not a criminal. People murder and rape and steal and cheat, even if there's a risk, so a child molester must think it's worth it...
/r/MensRights03/09/17 11:54 PM
1

Women are pedophiles too
/r/MensRights03/09/17 09:12 PM
8

Yep! Men only want sex but women are well-rounded human beings with character development! /s meanwhile I definitely went to college mostly to find a man
/r/MensRights02/09/17 11:53 PM
19

It's sad that I've heard people say more than once, "oh, so and so is becoming a nurse? Why, is he gay?"
/r/MensRights02/09/17 11:23 PM
2

If we're talking about movements, obviously I think feminism, not men's rights, has done actual harm, or else I wouldn't be on this sub. I don't think the situation is equal. As far as individuals in the movements go, I think both men and women seek validation for real experiences. But I have trouble seeing how making generalizations about all women is a good way to combat a group that makes generalizations about all men.
/r/MensRights31/08/17 01:36 AM
1

There are different types of genital mutilation, so of course to be literal, there are differences between some of the types. Female mutilation could be a pinprick, or it could be sewing the vagina shut. But they are all identical in the fact that they are genital mutilation. The principle is where there is no difference.
/r/MensRights31/08/17 12:45 AM
2

I already knew I didn't want to circumcise my sons, if my husband and I ever have any, but holy shit that absolutely solidifies that for me. I couldn't even look at it and now I'm crying. That poor baby's sobs. What the flying fuck are we doing hacking up babies body parts what the fuck
/r/MensRights31/08/17 12:38 AM
5

I don't disagree, but honestly that's exactly what feminists say about men and the patriarchy. Women are drawn to feminism as a space to vent about their bad experiences with men. I don't think downvoting is the necessarily the answer, but there has to be a way to validate both men and women's bad experiences with the opposite sex without generalizing the other side as complete trash...
/r/MensRights31/08/17 12:24 AM
2

So the bottom line of this then should be if the barbershop is a public business, they should serve women, and if it's a private business, they can refuse anyone they want...? If women's gyms are obeying the law, cool. If the barbershop is obeying the law, cool. But if it isn't, that's fair to criticize...
/r/MensRights07/08/17 11:41 PM
3

I don't understand how any business can serve only men or only women. Are they not considered public businesses or something? If the whole "bakeries have to make cakes for gay couples" thing is based on discrimination against sexual orientation, I'm surprised that any business exists at this point that can technically discriminate against sex. (Not saying I'm against these spaces, I just don't get how they haven't been attacked and taken apart by now)
/r/MensRights07/08/17 02:13 PM
6

I didn't hate my dad when I became a feminist. I just wasn't thinking about him. I got caught up in thinking about the "female experience" and ways women were oppressed. Maybe I shouldn't talk, though- I did leave feminism when I realized how hard men like my dad have had it. Maybe feminists who stay feminists do hate their dads... but maybe like me, they're being self-centered and oblivious
/r/MensRights30/07/17 12:30 PM
1

I had to google that shit because I didn't believe it and I'm writhing right now. Apparently she thinks "the vast majority of the utter horror about my sourdough isn't anything to do with ignorance on food hygiene, but more to do with a general mistrust and horror at vag." ....Suuuree. I have a friggin vagina, and one of the many things that's turned me off feminism is how it's somehow now feminist to wallow in your vagina juices and period blood and make art and food with them and if you think …
/r/MensRights24/07/17 07:16 PM
3

Am a woman and think I have it easier than men in many ways. Are some things harder for me? Probably, but I by no means think my life is overall harder than a man's
/r/MensRights04/07/17 04:43 PM
1

There's nothing wrong with majoring in art or women's studies.... you only need to be critical of them if they are under the misconception that those are wiser choices than they are
/r/MensRights04/07/17 04:37 PM
8

Are you saying she's a feminist? I don't know when it was from but I just watched a clip of her saying she never identified as a feminist.
/r/MensRights24/05/17 06:54 PM
8

Even if it is, I've seen similar ideas shared when I was a feminist
/r/MensRights18/05/17 12:59 PM
4

I just said I understood how she could have been projecting past feelings, and I also said it still wasn't fair. An awful lot of men are jumping to say he should divorce her and that all women hate men, which is ridiculous.
/r/MensRights08/04/17 08:51 PM
2

I have a lot ofof memories like this. I really hated being tickled but adults would laugh and do it anyway. Also in high school, sometimes guys who were flirting with me would tickle me randomly and that always grossed me out even though I didn't make a big deal about it to them. Anyway I see where she's coming from, even though it's not fair to judge random strangers
/r/MensRights08/04/17 02:04 PM
4

Okay, of course this is all kinds of fucked up, but does this woman actually claim to be a feminist? Modern feminism is tolerant to a fault about things like this but I've yet to see one dare to lay any responsibility on a female rape victim. Also, she said this sixteen years ago. Not that that makes it less bad, but still. It doesn't seem like she' a current feminist icon or anything.
/r/MensRights28/03/17 01:57 PM
2

Has the author of this never had sex? A huge part of having sex is enjoying seeing someone pleasured. That's normal. At least I can say as a woman I know Cosmopolitan is garbage and so does every other woman I know. (Except one...... she's pretty much a walking red flag tho)
/r/MensRights23/03/17 10:31 PM
3

Well, yes, I know it's a "physical limitation" and it's natural for him to feel physically that sex is over when he's done, I'm just describing how if I didn't say something sex would always revolve around when he wants it and last about twenty seconds. Without me saying something it would never occur to him to consider my pleasure at any point during sex, and not because he's an asshole or anything, it just doesn't occur to him. So clearly not all men are brought up putting women first in sex.
/r/MensRights21/03/17 05:12 PM
3

Hmm blowjobs may not be the best example, since up until recently he was a Catholic and bjs were a no-no. He definitely has the overall attitude you mentioned of generally respecting and pleasing women. But in sex if I don't explicitly ask to keep going he just gets up and gets dressed as soon as he's finished. Not that me conmunicating is a bad thing, he just doesn't have an ingrained instinct that I come first.
/r/MensRights21/03/17 02:08 PM
–

Whoa guys are trained that her pleasure comes first? Someone tell my husband. Is that really that common of a thing
/r/MensRights21/03/17 01:32 PM
6

Holy shit, no. I loved some of the same books she mentioned when I was a little girl... and I also loved books by men too. Even if her idea that men can't write for women was true, which it's not, the answer isn't to fucking shield girls from things that may be sexist or make them uncomfortable in literature. Books are supposed to develop your critical thinking. Let girls read the books they're drawn to. Ugh and there's so many fucking books with great female characters in them, why is she compl…
/r/MensRights11/03/17 03:13 AM
4

maybe they hate-watch her. Like how I hate-watch the trainwreck that is Trisha Paytas on youtube. .....one can hope, anyway...
/r/MensRights07/03/17 12:12 AM
–

Does anyone really take her seriously anymore? I mean she's such cancer that most feminists I've heard mentioning her think that she's horrible. I'm curious if people actually think she's a good example of feminism but I'm too afraid to google it for what I might find
/r/MensRights06/03/17 09:04 PM
14

What if straight women are the least communicative in bed though
/r/MensRights28/02/17 01:54 PM
0

It happens on occasion...
/r/MensRights28/02/17 01:53 PM
3

Come on man. Have you seriously never had bad sex? Awkward, difficult, embarrassing, one-sided... nothing? Have you had much sex before? :p
/r/MensRights28/02/17 01:52 PM
11

Are there different versions of the play, and you've seen/read a different one than me? Because I remember many stories about positive sexual experiences with men. I didn't have the impression that there was a filter to make all men look like evil bastards. There were only one or two lesbian stories if I recall...
/r/MensRights21/02/17 01:50 PM
1

Okay, maybe you missed my edit, but I got confused and it was the original comment I replied to that was calling people ignorant, not you. Okay? I wasn't trying to grossly misrepresent you. This is really going no where.
/r/MensRights20/02/17 03:41 PM
1

I'm just trying to figure out your position, but you clearly have no interest in communicating so forgive me for continuing this fruitless conversation. I lost interest as well when you informed me you had me all figured out but were completely wrong. Edit: you did indeed not call them ingorant. That was the first comment I replied to, so I wasn't paying attention when I said that. What can I say, I was drinking and watching the Exorcist 2 while trying to talk on reddit at the same time, lol....
/r/MensRights20/02/17 02:50 PM
1

Nah that's not it at all, I don't care about tiptoeing around the "outrage machine", I'm thinking of explaining a position to people who, as you said, are "ignorant". I think we must just be picturing different situations. Because I'm not imagining having to redraft to the point of losing the same message like you said. Of course that doesn't make sense, you can't lose the message. But I don't think the message of men's rights is intrinsically bound up in the rhetoric of this particular exaggera…
/r/MensRights20/02/17 05:20 AM
1

Well, nobody's forcing anyone to impose anything on themselves. So you can pick your favorite argument and repeat it on loop, no one's going to force you to "self-censor". But I still really can't see how if someone doesn't get my argument, if I choose to phrase it differently, it's somehow me "censoring" myself. You claim to not care about people who are too ignorant to understand your choice of argument, which I might agree with if I wasn't afraid that those people made up the majority of folk…
/r/MensRights20/02/17 01:06 AM
2

But can you only express your arguments one way? Things like this can float around the internet and ALSO other types of arguments. You said the message should just be repeated as is until people just accept it. But people are so varied, it seems like the best way to spread a message is to have a wide variety of ways it's communicated, to best touch a wide variety of people. I'm not saying this particular device shouldn't be used at all, as I've seen other people in the comments saying.
/r/MensRights20/02/17 12:38 AM
2

I think censorship is one thing, and you shouldn't necessarily have to censor a message. But I don't think that's the same thing as re-wording your argument, or phrasing it in an understandable way that clicks with someone easily.
/r/MensRights20/02/17 12:21 AM
3

But there are a heck of a lot of ignorant, uninformed people. If they were the majority, wouldn't you think it important to reach them?
/r/MensRights20/02/17 12:01 AM
1

That's interesting that it's perceived as authoritative in men. I was taught to do it as a girl because apparently it was immodest and suggestive to sit with my legs open.
/r/MensRights17/01/17 07:37 PM
1

Weirddd. Are you talking about crossing your legs tightly, or the more open assertive looking one where a guy puts his ankle across his knee?
/r/MensRights16/01/17 11:27 PM
1

Counter question.... Guys say it is uncomfortable to not "manspread" yet I see men occasionally who always cross their legs. What's that about? Different hip structure?
/r/MensRights15/01/17 11:59 PM
36

Well, it is awkward to have a man sitting next to you in a crowded area, such as church, and he opens his legs so wide that he's touching your knees. I've had it happen a few times and I don't understand why they don't feel awkward about touching me. BUT.... I have had just as many women sit next to me and insist on having their huge purses on the seat taking up my space. So it really shouldn't be an issue of sexism at all.
/r/MensRights15/01/17 11:57 PM
0

I agree with a lot of what you're saying, but I still don't think it makes much sense to make too many claims about what feminism is JUST by slicing and dicing apart the label. It seems doubtful that that many feminists and MRAs alike have put that much thought into the appropriateness of their label- I think they just see an ideology they agree with and then adopt the label of the community. I used to call myself a feminist back when I believed women's rights were being trampled on and men were…
/r/MensRights04/01/17 03:30 AM
2

You know, that makes me think the female supremacist-type feminists are actually the most honest. If you're a feminist who champions women's rights and doesn't give a rat's ass about men, then at least you're being upfront about it. It's better than claiming to have men's interests at heart and then just making everything worse.
/r/MensRights03/01/17 08:04 PM
1

Okay, let me clarify. I'm just talking about when people argue against feminism solely based on the word. They say feminists can't possibly be for equality because the word "feminist" only includes women. That's like saying an MRA can't possibly believe in equality since their label only includes men. It's not that a label makes you anti-male or anti-female, the label just has to do with whose rights you're focusing on. As you said. "Feminism" doesn't have to be anti-male by definition of the wo…
/r/MensRights03/01/17 07:45 PM
5

Lol, well intersectional feminism is pretty much trying to do that now. To be a "real" feminist you have to be intersectional and support all of their political and social positions ever or else you're a bad feminist XD That was the tipping point for me actually to stop calling myself a feminist and start calling myself an egalitarian.... I realized the standards for being a feminist were convoluted and egalitarian better described my belief in the equality of sexes.
/r/MensRights03/01/17 03:00 PM
10

If something is pro-female, does that really by definition make it anti-male? Are men's rights activists anti-female because they're only "men's" rights activists? Genuinely curious here; I consider myself an egalitarian, but I never understand why men who criticize the word "feminist" for being exclusive turn around and call themselves "men's rights activists".
/r/MensRights03/01/17 02:05 PM
18

That's a huge issue I see with conversations about privilege. Being treated like a human isn't a privilege. We aren't working to make everyone privileged, we're working to make people who are mistreated treated equally.
/r/MensRights21/12/16 04:31 PM
9

Oh it didn't, I just started realizing how cancerous it was.
/r/MensRights24/11/16 03:14 PM
14

What the fuck....? No... I'm a woman. I feel scared of men sometimes. It's NOT because all men have this inherent potential to be violent and sexist. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. It's because I've had some scary experiences in the past and I project that fear onto other men currently. Instead of taking responsibility and saying "yes, my past experiences have shaped how I see the world, and my fears aren't always in tune with reality", it's arguing that women are afraid because ALL …
/r/MensRights24/11/16 02:26 PM
1

They might not but I know I have more of a chance then men do. No one wants to be vehemently disagreed with but many people are open to subtle suggestions that there could be other options. Also, lol pelvic sorcery
/r/MensRights12/10/16 03:55 PM
11

Which is good, but stuff like this makes me feel a sense of responsibility, like I should be doing more to call out ridiculous ideology. Because heaven knows they won't listen to a man's criticism...
/r/MensRights12/10/16 02:49 PM
27

Oh my god. I'm a woman and I feel absolutely mortified by her behavior. This is so ridiculous
/r/MensRights12/10/16 01:01 PM
1

I don't think stereotypical male or female behavior is a problem either. It's only an issue if you're forced to conform to a role you don't want
/r/MensRights09/10/16 06:19 PM
1

Well, I'm just going off what men like my husband and close friends have said to me. They didn't use the phrase "toxic masculinity" but often have talked about the pressure and mockery they've felt from other men, no matter what role they were in
/r/MensRights09/10/16 06:16 PM
1

I've heard it called toxic more in reference to when an ultra-masculine gender role is forced on a man against his will. Feminists may have set up non-violence or non-competition as virtues, but it is also true that I know men who have suffered because their non-violence and non-competition are seen as faults
/r/MensRights09/10/16 11:11 AM
1

Some women definitely do... I'm not sure how many a "healthy chunk" is though, or how one would even go about measuring that. It's been a while since I was reading about feminism but I never saw huge ranges in the definition of "toxic masculinity"... perhaps I missed that and was reading all the wrong things to see that though.
/r/MensRights09/10/16 06:03 AM
1

Well, I'm sure you're right about some feminists misinterpreting male behavior as harmful, but it also sounds to me like you don't think there's any problems at all...? Regardless of what feminists think, surely not all stereotypical masculine behavior is healthy. Women often treat other women like shit and that could be labelled "toxic femininity", and I imagine men treating men like shit is what some feminists mean by "toxic masculinity". Or is it that you do think there are problems but you j…
/r/MensRights08/10/16 06:57 PM
1

From what I recall the feminists I've heard talking about it reference things like violent crimes and men making fun of other men for showing emotions, etc, which I didn't think men were huge fans of either. I suppose other feminists could have a different definition though.
/r/MensRights08/10/16 06:28 PM
1

This makes it sound like they define all masculinity as toxic... I was under the impression that "toxic masculinity" just refers to when forced over-masculinization hurts men.... like how "internalized misogyny" hurts women or whatever.... I could be wrong
/r/MensRights08/10/16 05:40 PM
1

Because kid's movies teach kids? I grew up thinking it was socially acceptable for women to slap men. I didn't see it in real life, I saw it on TV. My parents never taught me otherwise.
/r/MensRights15/09/16 01:04 PM
0

So since a man wrote it, it's okay- but if a woman wrote a similar article about women, it would be "internalized misogyny" and still sexist. Love that logic /s
/r/MensRights05/08/16 03:30 PM
4

I've definitely felt inferior, but I was raised in a fundamentalist Catholic bubble with strict gender roles. Outside of situations like that, in most of America? Yeah right. It's a victim complex.
/r/MensRights03/08/16 12:04 AM
1

I agree that the pressure for someone to conform their body to someone else's standards is sad and dangerous. But I have actually heard trans people say that exact thing- that if they were raised alone on a desert island, they would still experience dysphoria, feeling like something about their body is off. Are they just assuming that they'd feel that way because they don't know differently? Perhaps. But I don't think the profound psychological discomfort with having the wrong bodily sex charact…
/r/MensRights25/07/16 10:28 PM
1

What exactly is your crusade here though? Do you think people's doctors don't discuss this with them? If this kid ends up wanting SRS knowing the risks, what does that have to do with you?
/r/MensRights25/07/16 10:10 PM
2

What, where you said there was less of a chance of being able to orgasm? That's not the same as "never" experiencing an orgasm. If the parents were forcing a minor to get SRS that would be hugely problematic but if an adult wants to risk their ability to orgasm, who cares?
/r/MensRights25/07/16 07:33 PM
2

You can still orgasm though if you have SRS
/r/MensRights25/07/16 01:06 PM
1

This sounds like the gender role crap I heard from teachers in the conservative Christian bubble I grew up in. Like women have to be modest and cover up their bodies because our bodies are so powerful. And men won't want to marry you if you show your body or aren't a virgin (and clearly the goal of life is to get married). And when you are married you have to be nominally submissive to your husband but you can use your sexuality to be .... "persuasive". This article makes my head hurt
/r/MensRights25/06/16 02:04 PM
1

Manterruptors? Mactivists? Manspreading? Mansplaining? I can't even try to take this seriously because apparently everything a man does needs the word "man" mashed into it. It's annoying, but come to think of it, also effective- if you make up a word defining a behavior as something specific to men, it makes it easy to avoid self-analyzing to see if you as a female exhibit any similar behavior. Which is really unfortunate considering how many women do things like this. Like I couldn't count the …
/r/MensRights31/05/16 02:32 PM
1

Maybe it's likely that she wouldn't be out with friends, but as I said above, I've had abuse situations going on at home, and I went out with close friends, and did not tell them, and just tried to have a good time. Just being the devil's advocate. I would bet on her making it up over her purposely stirring up controversy. Another option would be that the posting of the photo didn't actually correlate with the real-life timeline. From my very limited experience in following a couple celebrities …
/r/MensRights30/05/16 05:07 PM
1

I agree there are some elements to this that seem off. Deleting the photo is the fishy part, so saying this Yes. And they are totally happy and smiling shortly after being thrown at the face with her phone by a husband who abused them for years. isn't really necessary in my opinion; the facts are odd by themselves, without your added implication that no one could possibly be happy and smiling with a domestic abuse situation going on behind closed doors. If I misinterpreted what you meant, then m…
/r/MensRights29/05/16 08:34 PM
1

I thought it was supposed to be from his iphone, not his hand
/r/MensRights29/05/16 05:47 PM
2

I don't understand the phenomena of doubting someone's pain just because they go out with friends or look put together. I've dealt with plenty of fucked up home situations by going out with my friends and trying to put on a good face.
/r/MensRights29/05/16 05:38 PM
2

YES exactly. Not only is it hypocritical, but it's also just plain false because men aren't co-opting anything.... except... themselves ? How dare they talk about something that happened to them in the past. How dare they pretend their victimization is actually victimization! /sarcasm
/r/MensRights24/05/16 06:11 PM
3

My two favorite parts: But it’s harder for people like me to argue for rethinking routine circumcision when the movement is full of anti-feminist hate. Meanwhile they say everyone should be open to the message of feminism despite being turned off by vocal misandrists. Even though routine infant circumcision is not evidence that grown men are oppressed in the Western world, in order for men to be able to legitimize the mythical problem of misandry, they have to co-opt infants’ pain and represent …
/r/MensRights23/05/16 07:20 PM
2

It seems they get numbers about rape either from reports at shelters or from hospitals.....? Oh my god it doens't matter how many times I type in different combinations of "homeless men violence rape victims, etc", the top results are always about women. So helpful. And also I wonder how many men experience sexual assault but don't tell anyone. That's true, physical violence and rape are both bad, and it appears homeless men do experience more physical violence.... but I guess we as a society ex…
/r/MensRights18/05/16 10:28 PM
1

Oh gee. It's been a while, let me re-read and try to re-interpret what I was saying. ....I guess I was just pointing out the irony of someone questioning the label of "feminist" as opposed to "egalitarian" on a "men's rights" subreddit. MRAs believe in equal rights, but they call themselves "Men's Rights Activists", not feminists or egalitarians, because it's the men's rights that they believe are falling by the wayside. Feminists believe in equal rights, but they call themselves "feminists", no…
/r/MensRights07/05/16 02:02 PM
1

Well gee I'm a woman who thinks men get falsely accused of rape, it looks like I'm a rapist! Who knew
/r/MensRights02/05/16 02:15 PM
1

Men do not want to date or marry a woman who he has to outcompete, outperform and out earn the woman in his life Did I miss something? Why does dating/ marrying an educated woman with a job equate to competing with her? When did the woman say she wanted it to be a competition? How is this automatically threatening to a man, unless the woman makes it threatening?
/r/MensRights02/05/16 02:13 PM
1

I know. That just frustrates me. Like I feel like if some sort of comparable situation occurred where the woman didn't want to use her eggs to make a baby everyone would be in an uproar about the woman's right to her body parts, even if she wasn't the one pregnant. I just feel like... a man can't make a woman keep the baby- if a woman withdraws consent and wants to abort, then she can. But why can't a man withdraw consent too? If the man or the woman at some point withdraws consent for their cel…
/r/MensRights20/04/16 02:39 PM
1

I don't know how you could prove you were raped. That being said, why would you have to be raped to sue a woman for an abortion? Women fight for their right to have an abortion whenever they want for whatever reason. If they accidentally get pregnant, they want to be able to abort. What if you accidentally get a woman pregnant? What if you weren't expecting to make a baby? Why should you be forced to give your sperm towards the production of a human being, if a woman doesn't have to be forced to…
/r/MensRights20/04/16 01:54 PM
1

True, they are. Kind of like Superman. I will be annoyed about this is if Rey is obnoxiously skilled and competent for all the movies, with no challenges to her character, and an insufficient explanation. And I'll only be annoyed about the female aspect if they wrote her as consistently perfect because they were afraid of offending women by showing a female lead screwing up or not being strong. But there's no way to know what will happen based on seeing The Force Awakens alone... I find it hard …
/r/MensRights19/04/16 04:43 PM
1

Yeah, that would probably make more sense. I'll keep my fingers crossed that there will be an amazing explanation in the later movies. Also, I felt that way about Anakin as a kid- his skills were more understandable, but something about the "random desert boy who's so much better than everyone else" was really annoying.... so Rey didn't stand out to me because it seemed to fit with Star Wars finding random powerful people in the desert :p
/r/MensRights19/04/16 03:48 PM
1

Having someone call you emotional is not the biggest deal in the world. I've said it to other women- "you're obviously emotional, let's talk about it later". I definitely agree that sometimes women need to step back and take a look at their behavior. You don't get to be bitchy just because you're a girl. It is mildly annoying though to be told that when I know I am completely calm; I'm simply speaking assertively and looking a man in the eye. It makes me wonder if men say those kinds of things t…
/r/MensRights19/04/16 03:21 PM
1

I find it interesting that people are criticizing Rey's knowledge and skill. Isn't that part of the mystery about her? I mean I suppose the later movies will answer this question- it may or may not end up being just shitty writing. But I just assumed she was well educated and skilled in her childhood and lost her memory
/r/MensRights19/04/16 02:15 PM
1

My understanding was they did that on purpose to make fans feel comfortable- they didn't want everything to be completely new lest they get criticism for ruining Star Wars by making it too different. Turns out they'd get criticism either way. I guess I still enjoyed it because I stopped having standards for Star Wars- the new 3 films were so utterly annoying that it really couldn't get any worse, so I was pleasantly surprised
/r/MensRights19/04/16 02:01 PM
3

I love Star Wars and all, but none of the characters have ever seemed to be paragons of depth and good writing.
/r/MensRights19/04/16 12:56 AM
3

I don't think a woman's unreasonable for becoming a feminist, but you can definitely judge her on whether she stays a feminist and why. It's not my fault feminism was the first thing I discovered in high school that talked about equality, but I'm definitely responsible for furthering my knowledge of social issues since then
/r/MensRights16/04/16 11:12 PM
2

With that logic, why isn't this subreddit about egalitarianism? Obviously people have reasons for specifying a particular gender
/r/MensRights16/04/16 11:01 PM
1

OH MY GOD I learned this from fucking religious textbooks in high school. So yeah, as far as ultra-conservative Christian society, hell yes this is how they see the world. I used to eat up those books on chastity and dating, and every single one said that men were valued for what they do (being hard-working and smart), and women are valued for what they are (a manifestation of God's beauty, meant to bring peace and gentleness and inspire men or whatever). This screwed me up being told this as a …
/r/MensRights16/04/16 04:52 AM
1

I vote men start working on synthetic wombs and then both sexes can have a race to see who can drive the other out of existence first with their technology
/r/MensRights16/04/16 04:45 AM
2

I wonder if men would be opposed to women being conscripted. Most men, I mean. I've heard a lot of opinions about women in the military from men in my life but I don't think I've ever heard a man support the idea. It's mostly "they can't handle it, they need to stay home with the children, men will get distracted and fall in love with them," etc etc..... Anyway I wonder if that's indicative of most men's views in the US? Like even if some men and feminists pushed for equality in this issue, woul…
/r/MensRights16/04/16 04:13 AM
2

So do we... disagree?
/r/MensRights16/04/16 01:05 AM
3

I think it's more likely that it's just something that doesn't cross women's minds. I may not have heard feminists campaigning to end the draft, but it's not like they're actively campaigning to keep women out of the draft (I think?). I never thought about the draft my entire life because, well duh, I'm a woman and no one talked about it with me, through no fault of my own. But it definitely needs to start being brought up in feminism if they're truly for equal rights. edit: dumb grammar
/r/MensRights15/04/16 10:20 PM
1

If you didn't used to feel this way, could it just be your particular workplace? One of my husband's previous jobs, the women were soooo shitty to him. Somehow they just happened to be a group of awful people. But his next job was completely normal..... it was a totally different vibe.
/r/MensRights15/04/16 08:04 PM
2

Pff I'm a woman and I feel the same way. Lest I wallow in hatred I try to remind myself that not all women are like that, I just don't get along very well with them. Men are assholes too, just a different type of asshole that barely bothers me. (also- coworkers in general are annoying so that could be half the problem)
/r/MensRights15/04/16 06:28 PM
1

Same reason feminists are so vitriolic against MRAs. They perceive each other as putting the rights of one gender on a pedestal while dismissing and/or actively taking away rights or discriminating against the other gender. Individuals within the movements are different- so sometimes that perception is accurate, and other times it's not. It's easier for people to just stick with their mental stereotypes of the other side and not engage each other.
/r/MensRights15/04/16 05:33 PM
5

Um... raises hand I demand equality? Of course women should be drafted if men are. But in reality I don't think anyone should be drafted. You're right though, the mainstream feminist sources I've perused never bring this up. I think I can remember one person saying "I'm just anti-war; I'd rather abolish the draft than fight for women to be drafted" and maybe that's the general attitude? If it is though, more feminists need to be talking about abolishing the draft. Because they totally aren't.
/r/MensRights15/04/16 05:00 PM
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