TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

JamieMadrox2020 Archive

View 6 posts and 91 comments by JamieMadrox2020 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

How common are widowed or divorced or post-LTR women in the age 35-43 age range in larger cities like NYC, DC, Miami? Do they tend to be more understanding of divorced men ? Do they lead with the fact they have experienced heart break on their profiles or 1st date or that comes later?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 10:39 AM
1

This is it for me. Nothing about hating women at all (I recoil from fundamentalist feminist man-hating women or misogynistic men). But man it’s such a catch-22. On the one hand it’d be nice not just to get laid but to even just hold someone’s hand. But also at 40, the freedom to do what you want when you want is a m a z i n g. And I don’t mean being a degenerate, au contrarie it’s the every day things. You listen to the music you like, watch the shows you like, stay in when you want hang with fr…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 10:36 AM
5

Sorry this is happening. I believe any couple (married or not) should give it one earnest go to fix things when they hit a rough patch. But just one. After the first attempt it’s either fear, addiction to drama, etc or something else holding a couple together. You become one of those couples always fighting and your cortisol is constantly elevated and it starts to cloud your entire life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 12:10 PM
1

No. 6 is counterintuitive. If one is 45 and is rocked by a financial bazooka (exes lawyer fees which are apparently automatically awarded for lower earners, and alimony ) it’ll take him until 50 to recover. How is that better off financially? And because of #6, #4 is drastically affected as now women see you as undesirable and not as “manly”. This is especially true in HCOLs like NYC and DC. However if one is wealthy already ofcourse this doesn’t apply. Asking to understand not to argue—it seeme…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 08:33 PM
1

About being desirable, some of us will be in debt and financial purgatory for 3-4 years after divorce in our 40s. Isn’t that a death knell for middle-aged men to not be rich and successful? How would one be able to date and get sex if they have high post-divorce debt? Assuming that the person is otherwise responsible I.e. has a stable job and friends etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 08:28 PM
1

May you tell us more about that first paragraph?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 08:25 PM
1

May you tell us more about walking? Whatever you want to say about it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 08:19 PM
1

On paper it’s based on need but judges laugh at that and ignore it. It’s not even based on ability to pay (so if a higher paying man has massive debt it’s apparently irrelevant), a judge will see income difference and nothing but that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 06:38 PM
1

100% on point. Spousal support is not supposed to be punitive or punishment. It's supposed to help other spouse get back on their feet again. I see this a lot, but anytime someone posts about alimony on here responses suggest pretty much that any income difference is automatic alimony hell for the man. So so long as there's an income difference, even if the wife is working, has no kids, is healthy, is educated, and she isn't old, she'll automatically get alimony and all her legal fees paid simpl…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 04:08 PM
3

Yes. He should be worried about minimizing his legal fees and doing what he can to completely detach and separate from her. Ideally he files first i.e. on offense. I wouldn't get into "reporting to employers" and all that, just laser focus on getting the divorce done. Don't worry about her family or her friends either. You want indifference i.e. "she's out of my life, I'm done". Not burning vengeance i.e. "I'll show her and him, you just wait". Ant its' counterintuitive, but the best way of "sho…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 03:59 PM
1

Evidence = “evidence of complete and separate financial and physical lives”?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 03:29 PM
1

Child support is easy to understand and justifiable. However, What’s your view on alimony in situations where the ex-wife is educated, there are no kids, and is healthy? (So remember this is not a stay at home mum situation) Many women will judge a man that has debt, or is renting or that doesn’t have a car. A situation many men can find themselves in after the financial devastation of divorce. Honestly are women understanding and empathetic of that? Or does the no car/debt/no house disqualify m…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 11:23 AM
0

What’s your view on alimony in situations where the ex-wife is educated, there are no kids, and is healthy? Many women will judge a man that has debt, or is renting or that doesn’t have a car. A situation many men can find themselves in after the financial devastation of divorce. Honestly are women understanding and empathetic of that? Or does the no car/debt/no house disqualify men in their 30s/40s from being dating prospects pretty much automatically?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 11:21 AM
1

What if physically and completely separated/no cohabitating? Wouldn’t that be the actual separation date?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 11:08 AM
1

Who decides separation date vs filing date vs divorce date for splitting retirement & bank accounts? Fixed by law; judges discretion; or just random? In general in most US states, is one of those dates usually the assumed cutoff date for all that?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 11:06 AM
2

I don't know fellas. I agree men are treated unfairly by the legal system in divorce, and the whole divorce scene needs reform. Other than the middle-aged stay-at-home mum that gave up a career to raise the kids, alimony is just absolutely bullshit (child support is a different matter--there's a clear justification for that). But this post is different, it's coming from a place of anger and women hating ("bitches are temporary"...women eat dicks"...). Do ya'll even like women? Remember your STBX…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:51 PM
1

Is this unidirectional or only when men move out? If a woman moves out and us self-supporting for years during separation (even at a lower income than the man), can she turn around and claim alimony during the divorce proceedings years later?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 11:01 AM
1

50/50 split = entire value; portion up to separation; or portion up to effective divorce date? Is that for all retirement only or for all assets?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 07:58 AM
1

May you telll us more on the last paragraph About judges disliking simple cases? Is it gendered? Isn’t there a perverse incentive for lower earner to drag things out and litigate since “obviously the judge will order him to pay all her attorney fees”?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 07:52 AM
1

“Using court system for revenge” - if that looks bad then how come many STBXWs are able to prolong the litigation and also get full lawyer fees no questions asked? Seems like a punishment to the higher earner that’s judges happily take part in. (Assuming there isn’t a legitimate reason to litigate)
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 06:33 AM
1

Does #1 work both ways or only in one direction? If she moves out us it evidence she can self sustain? (Just the sane way that if you move, it’s “evidence” you can sustain two households).
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 06:07 AM
1

If alimony is based in need rather than want and vindictive punishment, then why would it ever need to be adjusted up? Wouldn’t they already be getting what was needed and reasonable?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 06:51 PM
1

If alimony is based in need rather than want and vindictive punishment, then why would it ever need to be adjusted up? Wouldn’t they already be getting what was needed and reasonable?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 06:49 PM
2

I see. Hope that is factored in. My fear is income difference (100 vs 50K—but at time is separation 5 years ago I was on 70K) and length of marriage (10+ years but including the separated years) is all a judge will see and they will ignore status quo/no demonstratrable need.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 05:23 PM
2

So separation/what life was like during the separated time physically apart matters for a case or judge?* assuming a middle typical state i.e. not a CA or NJ that bring the hammer down automatically.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 01:18 PM
2

Wants alimony but it’s a non-starter for me as there is no need (she works and has supported herself 100% for years). I already offered a good portion of my retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 01:13 PM
1

How are you able to pull of dating while separated/living in same house? Do you tell your dates? Do they assume you are cheating? Not asking in a judgy way but IME women don’t want to touch any divorced/separated man—but maybe that’s because I was last actively dating 25-32 yos, maybe women are more compassionate/understanding when they are 35+.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 10:44 AM
3

Just as unjust is being forced to pay STBX’s full attorney fees. Then they have no incentive to settle as they can frivolously litigate endlessly and they have no incentive to get a quick divorce and let everyone move in with their lives. Even if men are forced to pay STBXW fees shouldn’t it be partial rather than the full amount?
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:01 PM
3

Child support is defensible at least, but it shouldn’t be formula based it should be needs based. But alimony is insane. Anytime I bring it up elsewhere, the stereotypical example is used to justify: The 50-yo stay at home wife that raised the kids to high school and moved halfway across the country and gave up a career, deserves compensation. Well yes, agree 100%—she should not be destitute due to a divorce. But here is the thing, women, judges, and the legal system and the general media act as…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 08:59 PM
2

Good that you are at peace. That’s what we all want and hope we can learn, thank you! Was it Mediation or judge/trial? Did you pay alimony? How did date of physical separation vs date of filing factor into asset division? Any word of advice for dating post-divorce/during separation already if 40+. Most men get absolutely devastated in a divorce, and this we can be damaged goods in the dating pool with less cash flow and without the success society demands of men our age.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 10:08 PM
1

Is asset split date divorce filed or is it date if physical separation? Sometimes one can be physically and totally separate with no financial comingling for years, but don’t know if courts would use the separation date or the filing date.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 04:45 PM
1

How did you manage to pull off no alimony? My understanding is judges immediately bring down the hammer on men for ANY notable income difference, regardless of STBX’s health, education, work status.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 12:03 PM
1

I’m always paranoid my lawyer will feel pity for STBXw, but she’s good with stopping me from giving the farm away. Seems women lawyers I’ve heard counterintuitively seem to actually see through the ‘damsel in distress’ thing. Assuming the guy is not an actual douche ofcourse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:29 PM
1

No hands on managing needed with a QDRO? For both pension/401K? You don’t see STBXs name anywhere once QDRO is done and no death of thousand papercuts where every month in your retirement you are seeing her deduction—it all gets done for you behind the scenes via QDRO?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 03:56 PM
2

What happens where there is marriage 10-20 years but complete total financial & physical separation 3-6 years? Is status quo the entire 10-20 years or the most recent 3-6 separated years? Talking strictly for alimony purposes, with both spouses working but with an income difference.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 02:20 AM
3

excuse the obvious question, but what do you mean "you just need to make sure you ask"? In writing? In response to their petition? At the hearing? Do judges consider going into debt/credit "ability to pay" (on either the receiver or the payer/higher earner)?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 05:22 PM
2

Then why not settle earlier and why sudden last minute olive branch?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:29 AM
3

Income difference? Did you have to pay lawyer fees? Just made a post about that. If STBXWs are automatically awarded attorney fees, then what’s their incentive to be reasonable? Also how are they affording dragging out these cases pointlessly? Basically my STBX seems to truly believe I’m Jeff Bezos and that she will get a windfall out of this. We are in discovery now, I guess she’ll be disappointed to find out I’m a regular middle class guy with massive debt.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:26 AM
1

My STBXW is being unreasonable (wants alimony despite no kids, a degree, no house, and already working full time). Already offered a good chunk of my retirement to settle. But no, her $$$ prize is full attorney fees and also alimony. But if she’s “destitute “ how is she getting that money to litigate and keep prolonging this endlessly? Do lawyers work for free or like on monthly $100 payment plans? or can she in fact afford a lawyer….?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:09 AM
2

15+ years of which 4 years are physically separated with absolutely zero financial comingling—but my understanding is that is irrelevant for status quo. Length of marriage overrides status quo in determining need which is odd as status quo is more recent and is living proof/verification of “need”. But I’m screwed 😕
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 01:50 AM
1

How did you get zero alimony? Consensus here seems to be higher income earner pays alimony (and a lot) automatically no matter what. Basically seems an income difference basically overrides anything else (kids v no kids, ability to pay, education, debt, age, etc)
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 11:45 PM
1

What would’ve been CA outcome if all equal but a 40-50k income instead of zero income?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 11:43 PM
1

Two things-- How are you all getting dates with folks that know you're divorced/separated/etc? Seems most women dismiss that out of hand. I'm not talking about sneaking around or having an affair--but just the fact one is legitimatly separated seems to be a disqualifying red flag for most women (I date in the age 32-45 age range). All those rules seem...a lot for a casual relationship. Is that not stressful?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 12:59 PM
2

So alimony is automatic like child support? I had hoped that kids, education levels, age, and ability to work were factors. Depressing to see that’s all irrelevant and only income difference matters 😕
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 02:12 AM
1

Thought judges only care about income difference. Does lower income earners education, health (able bodied?), and whatever there are kids in the picture really matter for judges?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 02:08 AM
3

How are you able to date separated/before divorce is final? Not because of any emotional hang ups but how are your dates tolerating it? Seems like it would be a huge disqualified for women. Or are the more understanding about complicated life situations as they get older?
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 01:24 AM
1

And status quo is state of affairs at the time of filing the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 09:33 PM
1

Wait, is alimony ONLY based in money differential or does need/status quo/age/ability to work etc come into play? And who has burden of proof in an alimony request?
/r/MensRights17/07/23 09:20 PM
1

Does status quo matter? If separated for years without ANY financial support or comingling can they suddenly successfully demand alimony at the initial court hearing?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 09:13 PM
1

This is a very ignorant question, but do lower income earners (say =<75K) get granted alimony no questions asked? Is income differs the only thing judges care about it are status quo, actual need, age/education/earning ability really considered? I keep reading online that alimony is not a punishment or shouldn’t be used as financial revenge…but do judges themselves agree with that?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 10:11 PM
1

Don’t you have to? Or you mean don’t do it unless legally required?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 10:08 PM
1

I went out of town myself for a week. Rented a car and did some day trips out of destination city. Alone. No rush or itinerary. It was grrreeeaat. My problem is not single/alone I can handle that. The lack of sex gets tough.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 02:37 AM
2

Nope. Before I cut off communication she said “My lawyer said the higher earner always pays”. On their paperwork they are saying she’s incurring fees “she cannot afford” and that I should pay because “I have the ability to pay”.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 07:31 PM
3

Ok so don’t get caught up in what they are saying/asking for provided we can demonstrate she is employed (under employed actually) and self-sufficient? I mean I have conceded (retirement) on the one thing I suppose she has a good claim to, so it’s not like she’d get nothing—but she’ll probably reject the retirement offer as they see a lot of alimony and fully paid attorney fees as the big prize. Good luck in your situation! I’d though CA was tough but you don’t seem too worried.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 07:25 PM
4

Unfortunately married 15+ years (including the 4 years separation) but she’s under 40 and we don’t have kids and she isn’t a SAHM. I’m not in the hellish states (for divorce purposes) like CA/WA/NJ but I’m not in the more reasonable ones (for divorce purposes) like GA/TX/AZ so my state is probably middle pack for what’s typical. Yes thankfully I have an expensive nice attorney that I’m paying with Cc debt but STBX has an even more expensive one they want me to pay for in full—that’s their counte…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 07:10 PM
1

Why is it judges/courts/legal system only splits assets, but debts aren’t? Is it specifically designed to screw people over? Seems if any asset in anyone’s name is marital, so should the debts.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 06:50 PM
5

Even I didn’t know debt was split. So as a negotiating tactic it’s allowable/acceptable to say I’ll keep my (higher) debt if you just be reasonable and settle? My STBX wants *permanent alimony, full attorney fees, and half my bank account balances. However I have a negative net worth (my debt is higher than my bank balances). I’m on 110K she’s on 50K but working full time, she has a degree, and we already separated for FOUR years without any financial commingling or support. How screwed am I?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 06:47 PM
1

The problem with permanent separation is it can still significantly reduce your dating options. Seems there’s many women in their 30s that won’t touch any complicated marital situation, but maybe they are more understanding in their 40s.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 11:38 AM
2

My STBX just claimed full attorney fees and immediate pedente lite AND permanent alimony in her counter claim. I’m not in one of the worst states (NJ/CA/WA) but I’m still terrified. I earn 110K she earns 50K but we already been separated physically with separate finances for 4 years. No house no kids. I have a retirement but I already offered to split marital portion of that. I’m screwed (1st hearing is in a couple weeks).
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 11:31 AM
1

I’m in same situation exactly except my ex is on 50K full time job. She wants permanent and temporary support and also 100% attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 08:04 PM
1

Marriage is 15+ years, but also we have been separated living apart for 4 years with absolutely zero financial commingling—she’s taken care of herself (but yea we have an income difference). I’m not in a community state. It’s not as harsh as CA/NJ but not as “men friendly” as TX/AZ, it’s in between.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 08:01 PM
1

In what way does debt affect anything? Asking as I’m a higher income earner (110k vs 50K) but my net worth is negative if you account for debt—my school loan and Cc debt is more than the money in my bank accounts. But they are demanding permanent alimony and full attorney fees (1st hearing is scheduled but hasn’t been heard). How come judges only divide assets/money but debt is ignored or only goes to the person whose name it is? So assets are marital but debt is not? I would have thought the st…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 01:40 PM
2

Cool got it. So no need to worry about what they claim or demand on paper pre-hearing or trial until something is signed by both parties (a settlement); or until a judge makes some ruling?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 01:21 PM
1

I feared judges and mediators ignore debt. Are you saying that the higher income earners liabilities/debt are factored in in terms of awarding alimony or 100% STBX fees? (I.e. ability to pay) Do judges normally make awards that would force one party into debt? In my situation I have some money in the bank accounts ( <10K total) but my debts are 22K. My low income but full time employed educate able bodied STBX is demanding full attorney fees and permanent alimony and half my bank accounts and fo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:43 PM
1

May you explain “lock down what you agreed to”? Is it a matter of reducing the stuff that gets litigated? For example say one is willing to give on giving their nice luxury car to the STBX and splitting profits fri their business; but they absolutely do not want their retirement touched and they really want to keep the house. Is it better for one to agree to the car/business on paper and then litigate just the disagreement? Or would that weaken one’s hand because then you have no leverage since …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:31 PM
1

Is it true because they demand 100% attorney fees and full alimony, as lower income earner that STBX will automatically be granted that request on the first hearing?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:25 PM
1

I’m in same situation. STBX wants full attorney fees and full permanent alimony at hearing and half/equitable of ALL assets. Unfortunately there’s an income difference (110 vs 50K) so I will pay out the nose it seems. She is working full time, no kids, we got no house, and I offered to settle based on retirement. But alimony is unjust she is not a SAHM. I’m going in debt to pay my own legal fees, but hers is even more pricey. And they stall, take long to respond to requests, and have rejected a …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:23 PM
1

How were you able to escape the hammer on attorney fees? I’m going through similar. STBX wants permanent alimony and attorney fees (see my recent post in this sub) and honestly I’m terrified for my future now. Attorney fee awards are not automatic? Is it all or nothing or a judge can order partial payment? Also is anything a STBX asks for in their counterclaim usually granted? (My hearing is in a few weeks)
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 10:12 AM
2

Are attorney fees awards always automatically paid by higher earner—no questions asked? Paid to spouse or to spouses attorney? What if you have to go into debt to pay? Is it full amount or partial? Excuse the 100 questions. This idea is almost as tough to swallow as alimony. You are paying your STBX to screw you 😕. And I don’t mean the classic 55 yo SAHM example that’s always referenced—-she would obviously need support. But judges/legal system just seem to use attorney fees and alimony as weapo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 10:08 AM
1

Income difference? She try to get you to pay?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:55 AM
1

In divorce higher income earner pays lower income earner automatically, no questions asked? Even if STBX works and we are not talking doctors/CEO/celebrity type wealth?
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 11:12 PM
1

Do you think the award was because she quit i.e. would you have been forced to pay if she was still on the 60K job? Were you still living together or you'd been apart/separated for a while?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 12:33 PM
2

Was she SAHM or was it a gigantic income difference? What's considered a gigantic income difference? Does debt/ability to pay (the others attorney fees) come into it?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 12:21 PM
2

Same, no kids or complicated entanglements, but length of marriage may work against me (10 years+ but at least I'm NOT in California). Thing is she refused simple/uncontested so now I'm having to work with the type of representation as if I have the resources of a Silicon Valley CEO or a star sports player--and our finances are as simple as it gets. Suuuucks.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 12:19 PM
1

I was told, after my ex dragged out a simple divorce for 3 years, costing me $50k in lawyers fees, that it's nearly impossible to get a judge to order one party to pay for the other party's lawyer. Really? This is contrary to everything I've heard in which apparently any income difference means the man automatically has to pay attorney fees for the STBXW. Isn't that the case i.e. meaning it's easy to be a beneficiary of an order to get your attorney fees paid? I'd actually thought judges look at…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 12:17 PM
1

I don’t know that I’ll pay alimony as we have only just lawyered up, but all data points on this sub and responses to this thread suggest I’ll automatically pay up due to income difference. My salary has gradually risen, it wasn’t 100K the whole marriage. It started at 40K but has progressively gone up.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 12:49 AM
1

My issue is that I have debt 😐. Is bankruptcy a viable option to free up potential mandatory $1000 per month type alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 11:38 PM
1

If you still want “to be social” don’t move out to the suburbs. Stay in the city. Yes you won’t have a 2 door garage house with a picket fence like your married friends. But living in the suburbs can be a bigger barrier to making new friends/dating women (whichever your goal is) than “being old”. Depending on your city, you’d be surprised how many 30s singles there are. Go all in on your hobbies and interests. Not like “join a coed volleyball league to meet women”, but like go all in nerd about …
/r/askTRP07/04/20 06:41 PM
1

Two variables: 1. Whether in NYC/LA/Miami/DC/Chicago or 2. Whether single. Those five cities have tons of women in their 40s that go to soul cycle regularly and eat keto.
/r/askTRP07/04/20 06:21 PM
1

I'm 30+ so for me Hinge easily the best for me. CMB is good too. Both are good as they are setup with enough prompts where women can make the first approach too. Decided to just settle on those two. OKCupid is just TMI and annoying. Tinder and Bumble I find that you need to be white & tall OR if you're a minority you need model looks. It's the weirdest thing because i do get ample matches on CMB and Hinge.... One hilarious thing about all of this is how unimaginative women are at approaches init…
/r/seduction12/02/20 01:48 AM
1

Hmm very curious for the difference and similarities too.
/r/seduction11/02/20 11:04 PM
1

This sounds a lot like “just be yourself”. I think it’s somewhere in the middle ground. I too HATE thinking in terms of “sets” or “targets” or “HB8.4578”. However a few playful lines to memorize for texting less logically, learning common shit tests, that type of thing is useful. I don’t see how it’s harmful. You wouldn’t tell someone who doesn’t know how to swim “just jump into the water man! The body is designed to float, you’ll come up”. No, people both need to get over the fear of water AND …
/r/seduction11/02/20 10:54 PM
1

Got it. I’d incorrectly assumed most women could be receptive to getting physical early given the right situation. What I’m understanding is there’s a certain “type” of woman that would agree to casual sex but that most wouldn’t no matter what. That said regardless the dates are genuinely interesting, I liked all the dates I’ve been on, dating is fun—and I’m sure none of us would begrudge each other for enjoying sex as part of the package!
/r/seduction11/02/20 08:44 PM
1

Yes online. So far about 5 women over multiple dates over 4-6 weeks.
/r/seduction11/02/20 08:27 PM
1

Cool, noted. I had thought to avoid a platonic nice guy provider frame and go escalate and for man-to-woman, etc or to go for 1st or 2nd date lays. However, I’m ok slowing things down and backing off, if that might be better approach. Maybe in avoiding the docile frame I’m going to hard the other side. What’s confusing me is still getting good 2nd (occasionally 3rd) dates even after the heavy make out + rejected sex. Shouldn’t they just disappear after the first date...? Im looking to date casua…
/r/seduction11/02/20 08:04 PM
1

I’m thinking women generally are not kissing intimately in public without attraction and rapport. Comfort could be what helps this particular sticking point.
/r/seduction11/02/20 05:26 PM
1

“Letting”? My dates are 75/25 them talking more.
/r/seduction11/02/20 04:54 PM
1

“Let’s get out of here” (after lots of heavy kissing)....”let’s go do xx at my place” (usually xxx is a movie I mentioned early in the date that I’d just started watching). Maybe one mistake is not venue changing quickly enough. Perhaps after kissing I could try “let’s get another drink at my place” but it sounds extremely forward and like it would create even more resistance.
/r/seduction11/02/20 04:53 PM
–

So less cool spot/bar walking distance > much cooler venue 10-15 uber ride? Do you usually reveal before or after that your spot is right around the block?
/r/seduction11/02/20 04:48 PM
1

I tend to go for 7:30 on weeknights.
/r/seduction11/02/20 04:45 PM
–

Thanks. This seems like one of those subtle changes for an older (30+) crowd to go for the Friday/weeknight date. I suppose they are more independent and don’t need to be “with the girls” on the weekend like the 20 year old girls. I’ll try the waiting on the kiss approach. Are you suggesting it’s easier to get them back to your place before escalating to kissing?
/r/seduction11/02/20 04:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter