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Jetpine9 Archive

View 0 posts and 1,071 comments by Jetpine9 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

It's a good question. I think it's because sex is amazing. There are many people who view it as just a biological urge, with no lasting psychological or spiritual significance. Ironically, those people tend to get laid the most because they are so low-anxiety about it. I don't mean all sex is always amazing. It can be boring, you can get stuck in a rut with your partner, dead bedrooms, etc. How to explain that to someone who is aroace? I can't, even though I've mulled it over more than once. I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 04:38 PM
1

It is a little bit of a catch 22; as a guy you are encouraged to be self sufficient to a degree, including how you like to spend your time. Particularly if you didn't grow up being especially popular, you look for other stuff to do. Now all of a sudden you grow up and everyone tells you you have to be an extrovert.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:30 PM
2

It's not about lowering one's attraction though that is a classic red herring that will be returned to again and again, basically for all times. It's about getting a chance to know people. You know all those people who claim to be sapiosexual? Or one of the other "sexuals" (like the one where you literally don't feel attraction unless you know the person)? Those people. Dating apps and the facile culture they represent and perpetuate obstruct that rather than facilitate that. Some people say the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:48 AM
1

"extract labor"?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 09:33 PM
4

So you're really asking if popular media promotes and idealizes unhealthy masculine ideals?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 04:01 PM
–

Sure. I mean, no one ever says to a woman "found the incel".
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:42 PM
3

Don't be obtuse with the sports teams thing. That is arguing in either bad faith or sea lioning ("I'm just asking a question!") Enforced performance of the male gender role begins in the cradle. A quick Google; Yes. Research shows adults often treat baby boys and girls differently. This often happens without people realizing it. Physical Touch: Studies show parents cuddle and hold baby girls more than baby boys. Talking: Adults tend to talk more to baby girls and respond faster when they make so…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:45 PM
–

but can't provide any evidence of where the lie was. The lie is the way we raise boys to be stoic isolated individualists who are taught they only have value when they compete rather than cooperate, so that the only camaraderie they ever experience in their lives is if they are on a sports team . And why do we teach males to defer love, acceptance and belonging to some future date? Because they are taught that they will meet a woman and the man's life will be fulfilled in a romantic relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:03 PM
3

isn't it a thing in a sense; a non tangible good. Like education or health care, or freedom even, aren't things either by your criteria (can't ship them from Amazon), but they are "things" none the less.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 12:33 AM
1

That's why dating coworkers has to be on the table if you aren't a high flier on apps (or in bars/clubs). Coworkers is viable because you don't have to turn on the charm like a light switch, it can be a slow build. It's literally what people say they want (to get to know one another first before decided anything) but never actually do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 04:13 AM
13

Because it's not really about pair bonding, it's about what "men say pair bonding is", according to OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 03:26 AM
1

Women tend to talk in terms like mutual love, trust, commitment, consideration, or connection. So are you setting this in opposition to "pair bonding" because sex isn't included? Otherwise, I'm not sure what the dif is and they seem pretty similar. why wouldn't "pair bonding" also be mutual? It seems to be right there in the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:04 AM
–

Sex sells, and everyone wants to be desired and loved. Those instincts or desires are then twisted and manipulated for profit. That's all there is to it. Not sure you can claim "psy ops" by men just because many CEOs are men, since there is so much buy in, secondary gains, and profit by women also.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:03 PM
–

The ridiculous male stereotypes on Reddit would be funny if they weren't also sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:05 AM
2

You kind of jumped the shark with this part; So frankly I have done things I thought I would never do, which is actually cut things off with women who I was actually attracted to. Even if things were going well. Was it really going that well? When I've been in a relationship that actually worked on some level (not even perfect, but genuinely sharing and caring and relating, etc), it's always been a significant upgrade. It's like traveling for people who like to travel. That aside, I think men fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:04 PM
2

Studies or it didn't happen
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:47 PM
8

Am male and agree that Legacy thing seems weird. I could see maybe if you were a member of a small tribe outside of mainstream western culture, you'd want to continue your tribe's existence and culture maybe? But otherwise, as part of the mainstream western world: your culture is and will remain perfectly intact w/o you. Or if this were medieval times and you had some royal lineage maybe? But just the Smiths from Akron? I don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 07:20 PM
7

If I were to give it a chance I'd have to do it knowing what I know now, after my experience of being a man. If that were part of the bargain, I'd try it. I don't want kids so the reproductive burden part of your question I'm not considering in my answer. I think it would benefit me because women are friendlier to other women (and men are friendlier to women often tho often men are jerks too and that's a definite downside), women have more social groups that are particular to women, so easier to…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:55 PM
3

I agree, but are the "no standards" guys mostly joking? Even as a joke it's worn out and needs to be given a proper burial. I think it is true that (many, not all) guys find a fairly wide range of women attractive, but not to the extent of "literally anyone with a pulse"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:13 AM
1

What if you took a non-gendered approach; just think to yourself what makes a good person a decent person. It's not much different between men and women is it? I guess try to recognize when you might be projecting qualities (good or bad) on that person that they may not actually have. Be cautious but reality based.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:48 PM
3

I fine it weird and fascinating the way 'confidence' is fetishized. I like people who do a lot of self questioning. I've seen a lot of confident people bonk at things when they didn't stay in their lane, and then not take ownership of it. Confidence is a completely amoral quality. It's weird to fetishize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 04:11 PM
2

MILF Island is a real place people
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:12 PM
–

Though it's framed often as "Nature vs Nurture" it's actually both. Except for people who can't tolerate ambiguity. For them it's 100% biology. The percentage of people who can't tolerate ambiguity is growing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:40 PM
18

I don't think the enlightenment resulted in men knowing themselves as you propose. It was a little about shaking off superstition and religious control, and control by aristocracies, etc. Not so much the individual proposing that men are free to define what they are as men. Unless you want to develop that line of thought more. Though I do agree with you that women are redefining themselves in some new ways, I don't think men have really done that yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 09:19 PM
6

I'm probably not understanding the question, but hasn't this experiment been done many times by guys trying to assess what the female experience is like on apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:16 PM
–

Because women also complain about it so much that it does seem like a chronic issue. Although the guys in this sub do seem to pose it like really extreme cases are super common.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:05 PM
15

"The lie" is much more insidious. To some extent it's the same lie told to women; play your role perfectly and you will be rewarded with perfect happiness in some form of domestic bliss. Both genders are literally "groomed" (in the most sinister modern sense of the word) to fulfill this role. The problem for men is that male grooming isn't as bonding as the female version. Cooperation and social bonding aren't biologically more feminine traits. Men and boys enjoy the warmth of social inclusion* …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:18 PM
1

I agree to some extent, but think OF is a unique phenomenon. It's a weird hybrid of DIY and commercialization/commodification. If Porn made sex look like a commodity before, at least it was isolated in a specific way. Whereas OF seems to portray everyone's sexuality as a commodity of primarily commercial interest and ultimately banal. It's like the Amway of porn. You don't really look down on Amway, it's more the commercial model/hustle that it represents.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:42 PM
4

For some women I know it's easy to find a quality relationship while other women struggle with it. I'm not sure what the difference is as they are all smart and at least moderately attractive. Maybe something in the way women are socialized makes it difficult for some to recognize "what is a nice person?" or "am I actually having fun?" or "is this interesting to me?" or "what is the potential value of this in the long run?", etc. I know some of the questions you see from women on dating advice s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:03 PM
7

I get it, it would be easier to get what you want without actually having to put yourself out there and do anything to get it, but that’s not how any part of life works for anyone. It does work like that for some people relatively speaking. We are not all on equal footing in some egalitarian utopia.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 03:12 PM
11

Bro, I get it to a point, but what you are describing is outward pressure to man up, starting as a toddler, unless you grew up in some kind of gay hippy commune. I mean, I grew up in a moderately liberal place and still the homophobia was intense against men. I'm sure it's better now, but I think the whole "man up" thing has just updated its terminology to be politically correct when it ridicules someone, it hasn't really changed. We more or less agree, I'm just saying instead of ignoring your p…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 09:45 PM
3

Maybe not ridiculed, but if their beauty standards are comically unrealistic to the point of absurdist fantasy they should expect to tolerate a gentle ribbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:34 PM
–

Yeah now that you mention it. OP is exaggerating bigly with the "over 50" thing. Nobody's that much of a silver fox. 35-40 I could see because many people don't look their age until they approach mid 40's, which is when age often starts to catch up to them
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:55 PM
3

I would have thought so to but there are lots of mainstream subs that seem to believe older guys are dating much younger women all the time, to the point where that's the default reality for them. And if you disagree they'll say "skill issue" or otherwise consider you an extreme outlier (autistic, socially inept, etc). I still really don't believe it's reality; based on everything I see around me it's Apex Fallacy x1000 (like we are all Leo Dicapprios). If anything I see the opposite; young men …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:51 PM
6

There are quite a few humble brags posing as confessions in this thread. Like in the job interview when they ask "what are your weaknesses?" and people say "I'm too honest""I work too hard" etc, only here it's "I give people too many chances", "I'm too selfless" "I'm too kind", etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:30 AM
3

Men being sexist and judgemental about what a "real man" is is much more of a problem then when women do it. They probably are PC enough that they won't use the phrase "real men" anymore, but that's all that's changed. (Ok, it's not quite so bad, progress is being made, but male enlightenment is progressing at a glacially slow pace).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:23 AM
–

I don't find that strange at all personally. I think the guy with pent up libidinal energy is likely to invest it all heavily in their partner when they finally do get one. The vast majority of women do not report that as being the case however. Like I think yours is the first time I've heard someone say the inexperienced guy was ok. Might have to save your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:13 PM
1

It would be an odd question for me because I see people as a mix of good qualities and bad. That saying "heroes have feet of clay" or "never meet your heroes" has been too true for me. The best people have often turned out to have very deep flaws, so admiration isn't a word I use often. I might admire how they do certain things, but to say I admire them strikes me as odd, at least when applied to people I really don't know like famous people, celebrities, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:53 AM
16

I think even mediocre relationships can be great. People on the internet seem to view relationships as a Amazing/Horrible dichotomy. If you are an average person (or maybe a little below) you probably aren't going to find that perfect fit. You might have a few important things in common with someone, but not everything. If you can work it the right way, emphasizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses, that can still be great.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 08:17 PM
1

she has a vagina She also has a soul and is a spiritual being, and for many of us --- EVEN MEN! --- these things all are an inseparable package, nor would we want it otherwise. Men have a higher sex drive, but they won't have sex with anything that moves, despite the claims of the ham heads to the contrary. If your filters are actually functioning to seek out the most shallow men possible, you're going to keep getting the same results professor.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:27 PM
1

Yeah for guys it's a surprisingly delicate dance. "Just be yourself" doesn't cut it because you have to put yourself out there, a lot. If your social circle isn't introducing you to enough new people, you have to meet strangers. But don't seem too desperate! People saying "have a likeable personality" ; thanks. But you still have to meet people and connect with them in order for them to get to know whether they think your personality is likeable. You have to be extroverted to some extent. Introv…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:15 PM
1

It's weird when blue pill can't see something that is fairly straightforward (the difference in gendered experience on dating apps is a microcosm that is reported so often and at such length it should qualify as a type of evidence). When struggling guys explain their skewed world view, it often (not always) gives strong autism vibes (the guys themselves will often say as much). When B.P. does their version it's often equally as delusional but in a different flavor which I can't quite put my fing…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 01:04 AM
1

No, reality isn't what you experience. It's what other people say it is, usually based on their own personal agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:14 PM
2

Why are introverts constantly portrayed as the lowest of the low? I think there's something fucked up about that. Usually people aren't at extreme opposite ends of the socialization spectrum like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:59 AM
1

not sure how men are taught though. They are taught pure competition and shamed if they fall short or ask for help. I consider it sanctioned child abuse. where I grew up, if a boy wasn't good at sports it was very likely he'd be bullied for it, sometimes way beyond the sports field. Asking for help was also shamed, even by some adults to this very day; the standard advice often is you must fight the bully yourself because no one else will help you. That is literally the message that was most com…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 05:46 PM
3

People are going to anxiously line up to shit on this post repeatedly but it's a basic truth that women are more welcome places. Should men be more welcoming towards other men? Absolutely. 1/2 the population aren't going to do it, and for good reason that I'm sure will be expounded on at length, so men should make up double the slack.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:41 PM
7

Men need a PR firm because their approval rating is at an all time low. That's not solely due to feminism. It's the era of social media outrage, and polarization and outrage get attention, a modern form of currency.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:17 PM
0

I think that's a good point. I'm not sure what you do with it though. Women have been the object for men for a long while. A century or so ago it would have been "a woman makes a house a home" (actually that one still pertains in a lot of modern places). Implying again that men are incomplete w/o women <<<< I think variations on that message are used a lot in a variety of ways. And of course men were objectified in their own way, as provider, protector, and insurance policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:16 PM
5

It has everything to do with it. People don't reinvent the wheel when it comes to dating, romance, sex, etc, they accept whatever they've been told and rarely give it a thought. And why should they if it works for them, as it apparently does for OP? There are some competing narratives out there, but there is no real "being yourself".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:00 PM
4

In the suburbs you can paint your house one of two colors or they'll literally fine you. Strip malls. So much personality! That's Murica, the land of the ultracheesy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:39 PM
13

I disagree. I think there is a great homogenization that happens in culture, particularly American culture. It freezes out anyone who deviates from the norm. And I'm not talking about neuro divergence, I mean anyone who steps out of line even slightly. How does it manifest? Look at dating apps. How are they all almost exactly the same? It's freaking bizarre how homogenized we are. Some of the sameness is because it's "natural" in America for one entity to buy up, absorb, and neutralize its compe…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:24 PM
–

I think it's great!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:04 PM
5

You pretty much answered your own question. Women get 100 likes in the first hour, multiple matches the first day. How long do they need to stay on? Til they get 10000? It becomes a chore after a week or so. So women come and go, hit it and quit it for short duration. Men on the other hand have to view it like a long term investment; don't pull out or panic at short term losses or stagnation and hope for long term growth rather than short term gains.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 12:37 AM
1

I gave less attractive people a chance and... It wasn’t good. I'm still waiting to hear a woman say anything to the contrary. I wonder if any stories counter to that narrative exist but it either seems they don't or women are reluctant to say as much if they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 01:52 AM
–

This issue touches pretty much the very heart of my concern when this topic comes around. And I have the same question as you. Maybe there's a grain of nature involved, but I think it's mainly nurture. Boys are curious too when they are young but at some point they get disconnected from that. Or it gets shaped and channeled into approved masculine pursuits. At any rate I think they get discouraged fairly early on from asking for help, asking questions, and sometimes from participating at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:19 PM
–

It can't be done in a vacuum. You're just saying "shut up" with more words. For example you can't know that boys are underperforming academically unless you compare their results with girls and then try to examine what the difference is. We aren't on an island called "men's world". Your unstated premise is that men are solely responsible for how society treats men. It's a false premise because men don't make up the entirety of society. If you have some very specific issue in mind that might be o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:09 PM
4

The issue is basic: if the problem is finding compatibility then the more to choose from the better. Odds are much smaller of finding anything like a good match if your sample size is too low.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:57 AM
5

when guys say they wish they had a girlfriend, what they mean is that they wish they had a hot girlfriend. Sometimes that may be, especially if people are heavy consumers of pop media. But for the most part I disagree. They say men are attracted to average women (on a bell curve), not only the hot ones, and I believe that to be true. I also think the "women expire at 25" rhetoric that you see here is literally absurd. Why are we so unwilling to fuck ugly people? No, really. Why? Good question. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:25 AM
1

Parents divorced, remarried, I lived with the grands for a while. Never envisioned or wanted to marry even from an early age. Still a romantic in some ways, but not that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:57 AM
–

I read it. There's nothing there. I can tell when someone is regurgitating trite material they were spoon fed elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:08 PM
–

Hard disagree. There should be a name for this fallacy that ignoring someone will make them more interested in you. I mean, how exactly do you think that works? The logic in OP "if she's genuinely interested in you she will" is the same lame logic women (and many men) use, ie, "if he wanted to he would". Or it's analogous to the "make him jealous" advice women used to get. If you flirt with someone else to make him jealous the message you're sending is "I don't give a single fuck about you". May…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 04:50 PM
2

It doesn't seem super hard to me, but I might err too much on the side of caution. I don't trust easily. They say men make the same mistakes, but it seems different when men do it somehow. Men and women may both be naive, but they are naive in different ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:57 AM
1

I do wonder when women ask how to vet men and talk as if it's impossible to do. How do you get to know any other person (ie, a man or woman you don't have romantic interest in)? Isn't deciding whether someone is a good person or not basically the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 12:11 AM
2

I fill that section in. Let me tell you, it's not "one weird trick" that breaks the dating code.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:04 PM
0

Doesn't everyone try to do that? Dating apps, crude as they are, have sections for interests and hobbies. People try to find others who are compatible in that way, and it isn't easy or we'd all do it, shut down this sub, and go home. But real compatibility is harder to define, and harder to find. it's more about personality, not just shared intellectual, political, or artistic interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 02:20 PM
0

That would be an invitation to the dark side
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 12:13 AM
0

I don't blame you. Even if I feel that way I wouldn't put it in a profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 10:29 PM
2

It's not that brutal because she's still with you for some reason. Presumably a good reason. And I think I'm average enough looking that it isn't like a penalty she pays every time she looks at me, even though she could date better looking men. I had one girlfriend who was pretty brutally honest about it. She would say stuff like "if only you were a little better looking" or when we'd see a really good looking guy she'd say "that's the kind of guy I usually date". Maybe this is a small part of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 07:46 PM
2

It is what it is. But is it what it was? And if not, is it not reasonable to assume it isn't what it will be? Could it be something else? Are there many different options? Who decided it was what it is anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:15 PM
–

Government in the form of funding for studies perhaps. Like if boys aren't doing well academically in a very significant way, that could be an area of concern. Does that relate to dating? Maybe not directly but the downstream effects are probably there. Or to figure out why dating apps suck and what an alternative could look like. That should at least get a small grant. The President should appoint a dating czar.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:08 AM
2

It's interesting that people don't seem to understand the impact of shunning on an individual. I guess they think that in most instances people only experience simple instances of rejection which everyone experiences and moves on from. And that extreme ostracizing only happens in closed cultures like the Amish or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:07 PM
3

Men just have to emulate women's emphasis that it's ok to be single, and not just ok, but preferable to relationships that aren't fulfilling. Independence was something women gladly embraced because it was preferable to being dependent on male partners. Part of the ethos of independence is self improvement; being free to become whatever/whoever you want. Women already are socialized to be supportive of other women, so that system of self exploration/self expression/ self improvement/ support is …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:51 PM
7

Would you be satisfied with a sex life that was purely professional on the part of the other person? It's a good question. I think many men (and women) are looking for some kind of relationship dimension that is more psycho-sexual, not merely sexual. But not all men, and not all men all the time. Given the previous sentence maybe some kind of professional relationship would suffice. We have "relationships" with others in our lives (therapists, doctors, bartenders, etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 03:31 PM
1

I read twoX
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:29 PM
2

Maybe somehow the potential of dating apps that was never realized will be attained some other way. The prob with apps: they suddenly became ultra formulaic. Many people aren't on them due to a distaste for the medium itself and the way it limits information and reduces people to infomercials. Some people hate the look of them and the swipe aspect. How about a dating app that has scrolling like a forum, for one example? Or perhaps one that is a forum; include general discussion
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 01:46 AM
1

I like to see a little self deprecating humor. Not to the point of self loathing, but to the point of not taking themselves too seriously. And I want to see gratitude for something; it can be life, health, family, whatever. conversely, how do they handle resentment? We all have it. No one has a perfect life. It could be towards parents, school, bullies, politics, the economy, religion,, what have you. I'd prefer some emotional balance when discussing disappointments and not just total emotional …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:53 PM
–

Because I've seen how easy dating is for my sisters and female friends. Are some women unable to get the hang of it? For sure. It just isn't intuitive for them for some reason. But for some women that I know, it's just about like falling off a log. And because life is very short. Relationships are some of the most fulfilling experiences in life. And I'm not even talking about the "mystical soul mates" kind, just the normal kind if you find someone remotely on the same page as you (harder than it…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:17 PM
1

When I was in my twenties I sincerely thought marriage was over, DONE! Then all my friends got married in their 30s
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:43 PM
13

I agree with some points, like the therapy thing. But social conditioning starts from birth. You can't tell a child "omg get out of here, don't get too close, men are gross, awful, soulless pigs, etc etc" then later turn around and say "gee what's the matter with that guy? Why doesn't he just be confident and act normal?" Also the degree to which women are welcomed just because they are women (before they've even had a chance to demonstrate their alleged social grace) is vastly underrated by you…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:58 PM
2

...And you certainly don't show up to a mostly female hobby and start soliciting all the women there in descending hotness order, either. So I should just cancel that yoga class?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 09:39 PM
3

constant obsession in the manosphere and red pill space with finding a woman to cook and clean etc for you is honestly ridiculous. Is this true? I don't frequent those spaces because I don't want my algorithms tainted (It's hard to keep them pure and virginal), so I have no idea what they actually say. On here, it seems like non "manosphere" (could they come up with better names? geeze) people are the main consumers of their content, but I wonder "can that be real?" with some of the tings they s…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:31 PM
1

I have experienced it briefly, if I understand it correctly. Some women do just want to flirt *heavily*, to the point where I think it's reasonable to think something more is being implied. But you should be able to figure out where you stand pretty quickly and then decide what you want to do from there. I don't consider it a problem because these women never asked for anything other than time and attention, and the flirting part was kind of fun once I killed all those pesky hopes and dreams.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:46 PM
1

That effect is mitigated by the fact that they do know you a little. So hopefully your sparkling personality is enough to overcome any stigma and branding of failure
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:30 PM
10

Not really. I've seen guys take it too slow and blow opportunities that way. There are so many ways to blow it, they are practically infinite.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:27 PM
2

The part that seems to be missing from your post is the actual social part. Social circles don't just exist as pools to draw dates from. They actually spend time together, get to know one another at least a little. Unless you are in a social circle that includes big parties with lots of strangers, you probably aren't going to be asking people out unless you've at least seen them around a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:25 PM
6

Go on an dating sub for older women (that's "post wall" for you folks). They are all being chased by young guys. Very young guys. Like 1/4 of those subs are older women asking "should I "have fun" with a guy 10-15-20 years younger than me?" Answer from women who have done; "sure! just don't have high expectations. "
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:02 PM
2

I must have missed that post. I always hear guys saying what they want ("Kind, at least moderately attractive, makes their life better not worse", etc), here and elsewhere. Unless you want something ultra specific? Maybe you should be more clear about what you want if that's the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:56 PM
0

The woman as chief focal point for all sexual activity for both people does seem to be a thing. But I don't think that means that women don't genuinely experience desire. If you will pardon the crudeness, the pussy doesn't lie (ie, it gets wet).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:44 AM
0

wut?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:48 AM
8

Women are the ones who want romance Guys want romance too. I doubt your stated maleness if you can't believe men don't have crushes, fall in love, etc. That degree of "othering" isn't from in the house. . But men aren’t satisfied in relationships without sex. Um, yeah? Women also. Men prioritize physical touch over all other love languages because it signals the potential for sex. That is an interesting point. I have been saying that men need that level of interaction to believe that the relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:11 PM
6

Men are verified by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:14 PM
9

Yeah it's interesting the evolution of ways to view men as defective. As we get more politically correct we come up with new and better stereotypes. Progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:42 PM
6

I think you have to be very social (like rather extroverted if you are a male - this isn't required if you are female), and you have to be meeting new people often. I have a few friends, but they are either scattered, or it's just the same people in a small social circle and never anyone new. Otherwise, I tend to agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:40 PM
2

Psychopathy is on the rise in the general population. Maybe (assuming it's mainly genetic) it's being selected for more in the modern era as social values reward and value the psychopath more and more. Or maybe it's just diagnosed more often and the actual occurrence is the same as it always was.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:27 PM
3

Agree. There's a ton of Apex Fallacy going on when women discuss what they think is the average guy. I suppose it's natural to think the average man's experience with dating would mirror theirs (the average woman's experience). That always has been kind weird to me that women are sooooo unaware of average men's struggles in that arena. We've had "male privilege" drummed into us for so long it's understandable. The world was made by men for men, from women's perspective. And the only difference b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:58 PM
2

"Post nut clarity" isn't clarity. It's a temporary serotonin trough as that high tide of sex hormones washes back out to sea. I don't consider it any more "clear" than the prior horny state when your brain is basically pickled in sex chemicals. Also women experience some version of the same hormone driven infatuation. This post takes phenomenon and exaggerates them absurdly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:00 AM
–

I'd wager that would be the ideal for most, most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:55 AM
–

Disagree completely. Relationships have been more deeply personal and revealing than casual. Casual can have some of that if you are lucky, but it's by no means a sure thing. Casual is sort of like painting by numbers. At the end of the day it's kind of cool and kitschy but I wouldn't exactly call it that deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:33 PM
1

Yeah, what is up with that? I find the apocalyptic forecasts by men deeply weird. If it was all guys from very trad cultures, I could see it, but seems like a lot of western dudes also think the sky is falling if they can't go to baby town.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:21 PM
3

I agree. People should be together by choice, not necessity. It is perhaps possibly for the pendulum to swing too far in that direction, and people view relationships as purely hedonistic vehicles, ie, the second you don't feel the tingles, it's over. Possibly in the old days people appreciated the relationship as its own entity and were more realistic about what it was going to be like and that there would be some times where it wasn't all beer and skittles. And consequently were able to work t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:36 PM
8

Dude, you can't say it gets 100% easier and then say you are rolling in cash after working 12 hour days for however long, got a full sleeve tattoo (probably not bad advice for guys right there), and I forget what else. Plus you just got out of college and now you're king of the hill? Something is fishy about this post. It follows the script way too closely. I know we're all walking cartoons of one sort or another but cheezes. Right out of Central Casting. tldr; that doesn't happen automatically …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:49 AM
2

It's an ick for women if men aren't confident. The same doesn't apply when genders are reversed. I think it's mostly societal, but there could certainly be some arguments made for it having origins in biological "protection and provisioning". Culture often takes basic biological instincts and fetishizes them until they are no longer natural but now highly artificial. It is interesting that women seem to have low interest in changing this. Maybe culture decreed until recently that women were fina…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 04:26 PM
3

Good point actually. This leads to the whole, "why not be satisfied with platonic friends?" argument. People need to feel valued and maybe loved (unless they rebel against the idea). Men find this sense of belonging in gangs, say, or the military sometimes. Maybe on sports teams. The dog is a pack animal. But some men who don't know how to get it elsewhere see relationships as their only emotional outlet. So why sex? Why not just platonic pals? I think because sex feels more like love to men who…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 05:03 AM
–

I have revised that down. It used to be I'd want to feel "heck yeah!" about the date before proceeding further. Now I'll take a "that was ok" and see if it improves. As long as it's not a "heck no". One of the best signs is if we are laughing at the same stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 01:35 AM
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Well, sure. There are many dates where I feel it's not going to work, there's not enough compatibility (another word for "magic") there, and don't pursue it further. I know relationships take work, but not that much work. I wouldn't say I wasn't capable (even if my skills were less than top notch). But it would take exceptional compatibility to make it worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 01:07 AM
2

Your prostitution idea might work as a social remedy, but the prostitutes we have are already overworked and the cost is too prohibitive for most men. I'm in a Nevada subreddit and sometimes the topic comes up. Prostitution is legal there but the prices are insane. You have two projects ahead of you: 1. remove the stigma so that any woman can view prostitution as a viable career choice, 2. Create some kind of Medicaid program for men who can't afford it (women will benefit too since the money fl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:58 AM
3

Maybe it's a culture bound thing. Nowhere I've ever lived have men taken any personal interest in other men's sex lives. They are extremely private.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:54 AM
1

Sex is a need for men because they don't get enough hugs. Or any positive emotional experience with another human being. They are sorta like the dog you chain up in the yard and then ignore for the rest of its life. Not all men, but for many men it's not too far off. For men like that sex is a big deal. For the usual biological/hormonal reasons too, but not for those alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:42 AM
6

I'm a guy and I've always felt the same way. Sex and relationships: Yes. Marriage and kids: No. There are quite a few child free people these days, so it's not too radical in liberal places. Probably still a huge deal in conservative cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:28 PM
4

Women don't choose candidates, political parties do Seems equally weaselly and evasive of any responsibility whatsoever. I'm not sure what exactly you want here. Men blame male politicians from the other party all the time for stuff. I consider some male presidents to be disasters for all humankind. But you seem to be looking for a broader condemnation of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:47 PM
6

All of the above, but I'd put lack of extroversion near the top. Gotta put yourself out there A LOT if you aren't a winner at apps. I might do better at apps if I worked at it like it was a calling but that just feels weird after a while. I meet a few people from apps but there's never very much in common. I have had women be attracted to me, but it's an incredibly low percentage and I'm not sure what's up with them, but they are super hard to find. I had a female roommate once with whom I had m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:20 AM
7

Most voters are women. Really women should just vote in all women if that's what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:07 AM
1

I always think extroversion plays a large part in this. I've known a few guys who were very good with women and they were decent looking and very confident but the other factor is their extroversion; they literally were out socializing every night I think, or close to it. It kept them pretty much broke, but they had a lot of girlfriends. I've known guys who were so good looking they didn't have to do anything and women gravitated toward them. But those are more rare. The guys I mention above wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:54 PM
3

I would say don't live with a man if you need a lot of control over your environment, because he'll acquiesce, then you'll resent him for not being an active participant. Neither of you can win trying to play house in that situation, so don't marry, don't have kids, and don't live together. HOWEVER, dating doesn't have to lead to those things. It's not like bundling your utilities or insurance. You can both date and be in complete control of how your dating life goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:05 AM
1

I agree, but men's problems are more subtle than women's. Women's are often pretty obvious legal issues and discrimination in professional or educational settings. Sexism against men is more subtle and has to do with how we view, define, and value men with prejudice, and it manifests most often in social settings, though now increasingly in educational settings. And men often buy into belittling stereotypes of maleness as much as women. See this thread for support of OP's thesis from men saying …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:34 PM
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The sexist myth is subscribed to and HEAVILY INVESTED IN by nearly everyone; men, women, blue, red, purple, etc. I'm not sure why. On women's side I get it, it seems deeper and more wholesome and caring to seem less shallow. The guys are just as into it though. Maybe it's the stereotype of what a real man should be. Or the fact that most visual porn is made and consumed by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:06 PM
2

Yet women will date almost anyone- fat guys, broke guys, ugly guys, I'm sick of women constantly dating Fat Ugly Men: NEWSFLASH LADIES, BROKE UGGLY MEN ARE NOT YOUR DISPOSABLE SEX TOYS. This has absulutly risen to epidemic levels and there ought to be a law against it. tired of this moedern tragedy. women are nothing but depraved sex wolves when they see a fat ugly man and it has to stop
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:00 PM
1

My ideal app is like the old Craigslist Personals. Just let people write whatever they want, as long or short as they want, include whatever pic they want or not and that's it. No stats like it you're collecting baseball cards. No curated or pro filtered shots unless that's your thing. Freedom. Anarchy. Something for people who aren't normal enough for Tinder and aren't edgy or "deep" enough for FetLife.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 03:20 AM
2

The struggle is real
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:08 AM
4

Old shows you first the people who liked your profile. Sometimes, but not always. They have a lot of different ways of deciding who gets to see what profile. That's why some apps offer to give you a "boost" if you pay a little extra they'll actually show more people your profile. OkC admitted this at one point; better looking people get to see better looking people and less attractive people get shown less attractive people. Based on engagement with profiles that receive a lot of likes. Incel ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:04 AM
3

There's a short fat balding low income guy in another sub I'm in who swears he has to deactivate his dating apps after 4-5 days because he has multiple absolutely gorgeous, Phd-level educated women messaging him and he can't keep them straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:31 PM
1

Are all you guys really getting off so easily? I mean, after age 19, say? (Maybe more like after 24, when you've had a chance to experience life a little.) After the habitual porn use, near-constant masturbation ("death grip"), and condoms which they aren't used to, I'm surprised to hear that men get off every time. Or is that just cliche?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:16 PM
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I disagree with you that women give that specific advice. They mostly say improve your grooming and social skills, then get a hobby (or many hobbies) but don't do those hobbies specifically to meet women, do them to make yourself more interesting, care about something other than getting laid, not just in order to get laid (ironically), but because you'll be a terrible sex partner if you're so self centered, regard women as people, etc. Most of it isn't terrible. My biggest quibble is the social …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:31 PM
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Do you ever read a PPD thread and absolutely none of the comments make any sense to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:15 PM
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Disagree. We should call it "female depression tragedy" or whatever, and figure out why women are so bummed out. If it's a legitimate problem then it should have a label. I think in the case of depression too many doctors prescribe meds and that's it. western medicine considers it a chemistry problem rather than a quality of life issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:40 PM
1

Looking desperate is about the worst thing that a woman can do for her dating life Nope. Just another excuse for passivity and further learned helplessness. If you come off as unhinged, ok, sure. But women equate anything other than the wispiest of hints (more like "vibes") as "looking desperate".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 09:40 PM
13

host extravagant parties and show up and have lives they invite women into Yes for sure; if you're an outgoing extrovert you have much better chances socially if you're male. If you're female, doesn't really matter so much. women have rich lives wit different goals and hobbies and commitment to art and literature, and rich inner universes, Rich inner universes? I'm not sure anyone has the monopoly on those. You'd have to make more of a case for that claim. I'm not convinced Betty in the corner o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 01:16 AM
1

I don't completely agree with that part. In fantasies (male or female version) the fantasy partner wants you, and you want them, desires align because fate, destiny, etc, wills it. Being desired is part of the fantasy, so it's not solely about the protagonist's needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 03:32 PM
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This actually is a good question. What experience exactly are men trying to replicate with a sex robot, that, say a fleshlight (god I hate that name - no offense to anyone using the product) or a coconut couldn't offer? Cuddling afterward? Compliments? The Simulation of Affection? The Simulation of Desire?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:44 PM
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Actually, the people in the kink scene here are edgy enough that I could see sex clubs featuring his n her sex robots.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:40 PM
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If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that phrase.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:39 PM
1

I don't think AI will fill the need for social connection for men. Women have that with their besties and whatnot. Men are socialized to be unsociable; being independent and competitive is seen as peak masculinity. Probably why men love sports; People will say it's cause guys love competition but it's also a sanctioned way for them to seek inclusion in a group. Best of both worlds. In the state of things currently many men experience social exclusion to the point of feeling shunned, and as my fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:13 PM
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People are taking comfort in saying the technological barriers are too high and that it's cost prohibitive. But I think they are underestimating the human capacity to compensate. Lots of people are genuinely turned on by hentai for example, which is pretty unrealistic. Ever seen Henry Harlow's monkeys? Men are little like that. They'll cling to anything. Put a mop head and some lipstick on a basketball, and if you can make it give a guy a compliment, he'll be impressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:35 PM
1

Yes, you have to be unbothered when she negs you. Shit testing in oldspeak. But creating attraction via banter, to the point that it launches a new relationship and compensates for lack of physical good looks, takes probably more than a little charisma, not just being unperturbed by things.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 03:35 PM
2

OP has a meme folder for this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 01:57 AM
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The market responds to the demand. Women like pictures. Why am I preaching "watch what they do not what they say" to a red pill guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:56 PM
1

you think the current way is bad. Where did I say that? I think I said the opposite; women who like dating apps like engaging with apps exactly how they are designed currently. How do you think women should engage with dating apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 04:49 PM
1

They could filter for content that is idea driven or character based and engage with platforms that support that kind of content (as opposed to platforms that limit the number of characters in a bio to 300, for example). But they actually enjoy flipping through like it's a deck of cards. You can't say "I hate it" while you seek out and engage with precisely "it". The male user base will always be there. Designers have to design to attract the female user base. More female engagement = better app…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 03:19 PM
1

However they want. Which is exactly what they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 03:14 PM
4

Disagree completely. Women are visual, and dating apps are designed for exactly the way women want to use them. Women could engage with dating apps in a completely different manner than they actually do, if what you claim is true. But they don't, and the proof is in the pudding (the pudding being the way women actually use dating apps). Most of the $$ dating apps make probably comes from their male user base, but I don't conclude that that means apps are optimally designed according to male tast…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:57 PM
1

This is something people are failing to acknowledge. It's up to men to initiate the change, and women may never get on board because "men are scary", social risk is scary, being in an in-group is comforting, etc. However, the fact that women deny it and choose instead to claim men have so much male privilege that any problems they have are by necessity the failure of that one individual, that isn't helping.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 03:48 PM
3

No need to be sorry. there's a time for that. boys get it starting in the crib practically, and in misguided forms which are more about denying oneself rather than taking responsibility for oneself. That's why you see otherwise "stoic" men having road rage over minor inconveniences; they get the denial part, they don't get the value added part It's not really stoicism. Or it's shitty stoicism that's about denying part of yourself, not accepting part of yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:12 PM
6

I disagree. Loneliness, disconnectedness may be an issue for everyone, but men have an extra layer to contend with, which is based on male sexual stereotypes of toughness, independence, stoicism and strenth, etc, which are partly chosen, but also largely imposed on them starting from a very young age. In a very rough outline: women are socialized into the collective, men are socialized to be independent of the collective. Women are socially valued when they cooperate. Men are socially valued whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:35 PM
2

This is a fairly good breakdown. I'd add that this social conditioning ("man up" type stuff) starts very early, so it takes some awareness to overcome. Hence so much yap about male loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:27 PM
0

Yeah I guess if you're good looking or have a great profile on OLD you can get a lot of false positives. But if all those "likes" aren't translating into ANY real world success, I have to think you're not vetting properly. Same advice the women get. Hard for me to debate since I get next to zero matches. But it's not all theory; I was part of a kinky couple once long ago, and we occasionally got a third person to play with (once or twice another couple). Guys were super easy. You could tell them…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 04:58 PM
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There's no set philosophy or goal other than disagreeing with RPers Well - RP is what defined BP in the first place. So you can say everything is wrong and nothing really exists, but it's probably not going to change people's minds if they already accept some RP concepts, one being the idea that BP represents standard quo dating advice, life advice, and gender role advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 01:49 AM
3

There's enough dimwitted guys who perpetuate the idea that men only want <25 year olds, so some women run with it. Even though I suspect even those women actually know it's autistic nonsense, it's just too good to resist.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 03:50 PM
1

Zactly. It's much easier to try and put people in boxes though and say "they did x so I do z" rather than actually putting some thought into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:25 PM
11

You could frame this more cynically and negatively if you tried, but not much more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:45 AM
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Hopefully people will come to recognize it for what it is. Sensationalism has always sold, but to some degree we can become aware when we are doing it or when it's being done to us. Ironically the very medium that perpetuates it may be the one to help find balance as cooler critiques of media and its effects become more common
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:44 AM
1

kind considerate thoughtful 2 extreme extroverts, partiers, people who put others down 3 active (meaning outdoorsy) but also able to chill sometimes) openminding (not 100 polarized on any issue), kinky in a matching way. 4 About the same as now - the person is a fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:43 PM
3

There's truth to it but women will stab you in the neck with a pencil before one ever admits it. All that "read the room" (translation; "I'm passive and can't communicate so the majority of that is going to be your responsibility") doesn't suddenly magically go away at some point. You have to continue to "lead" with "confidence", ie, keep them entertained. However, your passive partner will usually still support you, and is a good partner, They just have been spoon fed this idea that they are ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:24 PM
2

Aw, that's a shame. Maybe establish some kink compatibility at the beginning? Even with that, there has to be some acknowledgement that we are all human and will tend to get in a rut sometimes. It sounds like you're able to ride out those waves if there is an other side. Best of luck going forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:35 AM
2

It takes work to keep things fresh after that honeymoon period wears off. It sounds like you are at least aware of what you want, and that's half the battle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:24 AM
3

I have no problem with that, but I'm wary of people who need extremely high levels of social interaction + stimulation (excitement) + novelty, ESPECIALLY when combined with partying (drinking or smoking). I still give them a chance but I'm mildly wary of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:20 AM
1

Why not both? I agree with you though, the apps manipulate who sees who, it isn't just random after users have applied their filters and limiters in the app settings. OkCupid came out and admitted this at one point in the early going of dating apps, when there was slightly more transparency.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 04:57 PM
1

Only 1 was okay with me not wanting to do anything for her. wtf does that even mean prince?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:16 PM
9

Why would I want to be against abortion rights as a man? That literally makes no sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:24 PM
8

Seriously, what kind of therapist is that? I'll have to see if you talk about it more in comments, later when I'm not busy. As far as casual goes, it's always taken a certain sort of animal to make that happen. It generally isn't quite as common as people think. Caveat; I haven't really looked for casual because I think it's extremely overrated. Or, maybe you have to just be a certain kind of person to think it's super hot to have sex with some borderline person from a club, I don't want to judg…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 08:04 PM
20

Your therapist is goofy af. I was sympathetic until you got to the "casual sex" lamentations. The wailing, rending of garments, covering oneself in ash. It's too much drama just because you can't get easy pussy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 06:08 PM
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As someone who dated in both eras, the past was MUCH easier. Caveat: I'm a guy who isn't good looking enough to win at OLD and not witty enough to have good conversations via text. Texting was the final nail in the coffin for me actually. For better looking guys the present is like ordering door dash.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 11:34 PM
0

Just grind more bro
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:42 PM
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I think the alternative is men forming better social connections themselves. Without it being gangs and gangmembership <<< but that, they say, is one response to the same issue of finding meaning and social belonging.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 07:42 PM
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lol I guess that softens the blow a bit
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:43 PM
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I agree with you philosophically. But in terms of human psychological and the need to feel connected I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:41 PM
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People do what I said when I referenced high school all their adult lives. It's just more observable then because everyone is together every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:28 PM
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, it’s really hard for me to care what happens in High School Sure; everyone talks about how much more mature they are than they were then. And I think they really believe it. Are they really as different as they think they are? I see a lot of behavior that says otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:25 PM
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by that logic, if you happen to be fortunate enough to have a partner, do you value them? Why? What do you care about love or relationships? It's nothing to you, meaningless. Focusing on it is a waste of time when one could be grinding one's career or doing altruistic things like adopting a pet. ^^^that's sort of a parody of OP, but the logic isn't too far off.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:19 PM
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I don't think it's quite the same dynamic though. To go back to high school years, many women dated fewer men, it just was spread out over time. So in effect that 80% of women had longer times between boyfriends and shorter relationships but they still dated occasionally at least. Not so much for the <80% dudes. And it wasn't really 80/20, that's a broad caricature of the situation. It's a somewhat accurate approximation, but things weren't quite as dire as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:14 PM
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"You are by nature unloveable" is a pretty harsh sentence to grow accustomed to.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:09 PM
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If you play sports or game there's lots of community out there. I'm not sure if there's that much variety though. Otherwise we wouldn't be talking about a loneliness epidemic (for women as well as men). It's a little harder to socialize than that. It's like there's a paywall to finding a place to meet for one thing, then finding a common interest and a way to manage a group. I'm in a group that can't afford their Meetup page any more for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:06 PM
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It’s really not that hard Needle on the bullshit meter starting to climb
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:56 PM
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I do all that shit in spades. The world is so different for women and men. As a woman you are welcome almost everywhere. As a man you are viewed with initial suspicion almost everywhere. If you don't have the personality to overcome that initial suspicion, you won't really be trusted: even when you've done nothing you still haven't proved yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:54 PM
–

I'd be happy to be friends with women but I think you're vastly overestimating how much women want to be friends with random lonely guys. I agree with you on the point that it's weird when guys say it's pointless to be friends with women though. I've been friends with female roommates and ended up dating one of their friends once, so that can happen. But again, women aren't really looking for guy friends in my experience, and one reason that you will hear over and over is that they don't trust t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:51 PM
3

I think you are taking this too literally. People are trying to make the connections you are talking about but they aren't able to make it happen. They are just using the terminology you mention to try and understand why they aren't making those connections. Tldr: the lack of connection came first, the descriptive terminology after.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:02 AM
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Like others have said, I'd try it out but wouldn't commit to full time. There seems to be the potential for more rewarding social life and relationships, but there's also more negative coming at you randomly, mainly from men but occasionally from other women. And whether you're male or female, the brain puts more weight on the negative, having to always be evaluating threat potential, risk, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 05:28 PM
2

Perhaps but it's a mere technicality. Women's SMV and RMV always exceeds men's at every age point, even when men are supposedly in their prime. People in general that is; if we are talking about the top ~5% of men that would be a different conversation, but don't get caught up in an Apex Fallacy of thinking all men live lives similar to the most highly desirable men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:56 PM
6

Doesn't make sense because men would perish as well w/o help from others.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:11 PM
6

It works because our minds fixate on the negative. You can get 100 compliments on something but the 3 criticisms you get are the things you will remember most clearly. That's why when athletes win championships you so often hear "nobody thought we could do it" or something similar, when actually many many people thought they could do it. However, I disagree with the definition you are focusing on. It's not necessarily supposed to be downright insulting, it's often meant to be lightly provocative…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:57 PM
1

#5 needs more definition. It's really the only one that matters here. Most people don't have issues with 1-4.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 05:57 PM
9

It's country simple: outgoing party girls are the only ones that will talk to you. They aren't afraid to communicate. The "good girls" are all hoping some guy will pick them up in the grocery store or otherwise that "it will just happen once you stop trying". tldr: communication. I'm an introvert that would love to date other introverts but I often end up with extroverts because they are the only ones that will communicate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 05:07 PM
1

People tend to think they are working harder than anyone else around them. Partly because of ego as you say, but also they just are intimately familiar with every pain that attends their work, even if it's just the pain of boredom combined with a lack of feeling valued = meaninglessness.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 05:27 PM
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Right. It's weird how many people say "go to Walmart" to watch ugly, happy couples. I think it's a weird narcissist fantasy. Although; if I have to go to Walmart, I go during the middle of a weekday. Could be that's when single people go and the couples are all there on weekends or evenings, when I never go.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 12:49 AM
6

Totes. (where's the automod?) You're expected to read her mind from the time you meet (even before; "read the room", women "rationalizing" how ridiculous it would be for them to be expected to initiate meeting, etc) onward ("I don't want to have to tell him what to do like he's a child, I want him to just do it, emotional labor, etc"), including in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:23 PM
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I can't help thinking something must be off in your calculations, or your dismissal of the differences as insignificant. Interesting idea though. Thought experiment; could parents who gave up kids for adoption pick them out of, say, a 1st grade class photo? That would just appearance based, I'm not sure how you could do a similar experiment that would be based on personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 09:15 PM
3

I've brought this up before too but never gained traction with it. Women often are less flexible about diet. It's gotta be her way, what she likes and the way she likes it. Guys most often capitulate to that, resulting in 'woman cooking, guy cleaning afterwards'. I much rather cook for myself, but have fallen into that routine in relationships before because she was less willing to compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 03:47 PM
5

I agree with everything (sorta - like if we were in a universe where everything was surreal and slightly distorted and foggy) except for the "if you're not up front about your views on sex" part. My disagreement there is that I think sex is important and can be deeply meaningful but I think OP's line of reasoning dismisses that as not possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:14 PM
1

The advice should be "Don't be yourself". If there's still a shred of the original you left in there you're not trying hard enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:39 PM
35

Unfortunately even the successful fisherman can't give you good advice. In our context that is (actual fisherman probably give good advice on how to catch actual fish). Most successful people can't understand how another person's experience could differ from their own unless that other person somehow was doing something incredibly wrong (which can be the case, but isn't always true). Neuro Linguistic Programming started when some people filmed certain very successful therapists at work, then stu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 04:57 PM
11

One difference: the 20% of men aren't complaining, the 80% of women generally are. I say generally; some are not. Some women will admit that things are actually pretty good in the dating world for them. But most women on here will swear that dating for women is the worst thing that could happen to a person. So, what do you change? The happy person or the sad person? The argument is: should women learn new skills to navigate relationships and dating VS Women already have all the skills they need,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 05:54 PM
1

The extreme child-like sexism in these comments is inspiring
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 03:16 AM
1

someone pointed out that if a woman posts pics on a "rate me" sub they might get told to go to the gym.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 08:28 PM
3

doesn't that mean dudes are lazy in comparison? No, for a couple of reasons. 1. women put in zero effort in the other areas OP mentioned. And they don't need to. 2. Guys didn't ask for you to put in the effort you do put in. Guys don't care about 90% of the effort that you mention. To the point that it's a common refrain for women to say "I do it for myself not for guys"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 05:31 PM
1

Ok, maybe on subs like that. Those I don't look at. On subs like this the advice is always: man must change completely, woman is find as is and should stop trying and be happy w/o men because even if it appears that lots of men want to date her, they are all garbage.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 05:24 PM
6

I have never seen a guy say a woman has to hit the gym. Not be fat? Yes, I see that constantly, if that's what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 05:08 AM
22

Upgrade your wardrobe so your physique shows? Yes, but also no. Because the above is not merely "touching grass" like all the blue shills are saying. Try telling a woman she has to hit the gym for 6 - 12 months then show off her physique just to be considered and she'll tell you you're a douche, and she should. I agree that guys have to make an effort, and many guys probably don't realize how bad of an impression they make. If you haven't done it, I recommend guys take videos of themselves so th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:55 AM
2

And trust me, they will. Like what?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:46 PM
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How would that work? Haven't heard. There are all these people studying relationships, loneliness, etc, etc. Maybe someone should get a grant to design a dating app that is functional for a wide range of users. Like, it would have several different interfaces depending on your preference for what information is in the forefront. Don't know what it would look like, but I've always thought there ought to be a better way than what the free market is coming up with. I think because the free market v…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:38 PM
1

Very true, but one complicating factor is that some men repeat the same sexist stereotypes about other men as if it were dogma. So why wouldn't women believe what they hear men saying about men, especially when it's consistent with all the things grandma said about men? (Actually grandma might have had a healthier outlook than modern people but you know what I mean). Men themselves haven't reached critical mass in terms of agreeing about what a man is, what the problems of masculine stereotypes …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:25 PM
1

My approach is that romance is great but it's a long shot, and friends are great too, and I'm open to being "friends first" rather than just auditioning lovers. But I don't find many friends on apps either, that one example was a lone exception. Compatibility for either seems rare these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:09 PM
13

I already talk to women often enough. Friends, fam, coworkers, many of them women. Trying to make it a fun evening with someone I have nothing in common with isn't going to enrich me that much. It's happened a few times. By the way, I keep hearing young people say "your coworkers aren't your friends; be a robot, do your job and go home" etc. A good opportunity to practice some basic socializing often is at work, so some people should reconsider that. I think people should date more platonically …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:43 AM
1

The women can hack reality? Really? How is this supposed to be analogous to real life? Anyway, here's how I would proceed; 1. with iron clad boundaries spelled out honestly and directly. No romantic nonsense. 2. The other person has to make me either laugh, smile, or think in order to keep engaging with them. This doesn't have to happen instantly, but it has to happen. If they are going to try and get by on humor, they have to be actually funny (which involves being thoughtful as well), not Redd…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:43 PM
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I'm looking for a casual soulmate personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:29 AM
1

I know, but I can grasp that other people have a different experience than I do. My reality doesn't mirror theirs exactly. But they don't seem able to conceive that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:32 AM
1

1000% Why do people deny this happens with a high degree of regularity? What are they gaining from being in denial about this? Or is it sheer, pharmaceutical grade cluelessness?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:19 AM
5

But dating in real life works differently from online dating. Online dating is much worse for some (many?). Saying "that's just dating" is inaccurate. Online dating brings the most shallow aspects of dating to the fore. Otherwise I agree with you; it works for some people so technically it's not broken. Not every tool is meant for every job.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 02:27 AM
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Is this truly gendered? Many people treat any disagreement, however slight, as the crime of the century. "Glass Men" is a nice new term to belittle men with, so congrats on that. We're always looking for updates on those.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:56 PM
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So how do you feel about FWBs? What about women who want to be FWBs with someone? Is that non existent in this world we're imagining? Sex is a confusing thing to debate because it not only means different things to different people, it means different things to the same person at different times. I'm not a fan of casual sex. It's not a goal per se, but I've had it a few times. It was always a bit awkward, and with maybe one or two exceptions, not really "hot". But there was still something sympa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 05:14 PM
1

I agree that there should be something between the two poles of "meaningless sex" and "now we pretend we're married and try to merge two lives together into one"
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:09 PM
1

Every accusation is a confession. When did you become a Freudian?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:01 PM
4

Emotional labor originally was a term applied to the professions where you had to put on a fake smile and act happy. Like waitress or stewardess, nurse, and sometimes doctor, though doctors were often male and thought to be gruff and blunt (Dr. House does little to no emotional labor for example). The "emotional labor" was acting out the fake emotion for an actual job and was part of what contributed to "burn out". So the theory went. Which makes one wonder: is all this celebration of birthdays …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 04:53 PM
5

I'm with you on about 50% of this. If she's complaining about emotional labor, there are deeper problems and this is the politically correct/avoidant way to address dissatisfaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 04:47 PM
2

People who say they don't care about their partner's past aren't really thinking it through. Most women aren't going to be enthused about you keeping stuff from previous relationships, particularly anything with erotic overtones connected to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:39 PM
2

Yep. And women, if he's calling you "jelly bean" or something absurd like that, it's because all the regular cutesy names have already been burned.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:35 PM
15

Yeah gtfo with this. Most women (and men) aren't as honest as that. The prevailing narrative is that men are visual and shallow, little better than automatons guided by their dicks, and women are these social skill wizards who can see and truly value the intrinsic goodness of a person's soul.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:09 AM
6

Some guys did absurdly well,, but many girls realized they would have to date someone else, and they actually did.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 02:56 AM
13

I think online dating is the main culprit. In real life (school, work) inter-gender interactions are more or less normal, and people have a chance to get to know one another and pair up if they want. Online it's like all that goes out the window and attraction is expected to be instantaneous, and for any but the chadlier guys it's like ice fishing. It's a two different worlds kind of thing that you didn't anticipate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:04 AM
10

I have to agree. You have to have very social roommates though. I lived in one of those big group houses and my first relationship was via a friend of a roommate. Later we had a Chadly theater kid living there and I briefly dated a few of Chads cast offs (sounds bad when I put it that way but that's kinda what happened). Trouble is that now that I finally live on my own I can't imagine having roommates again. But when you're young it's great (or at least has social potential).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 11:56 PM
2

Ah, gotcha. I'm going to do it anyway even tho it's ridiculous and I'd obviously be a non-serious interloper. My problem with online dating is I have too many of these in-jokes with myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:36 PM
0

Interesting. Not sure how to tap into that scene without being intrusive. I do own a full body Winnie the Pooh suit (does that count?). Maybe I'll take a picture of myself in it and feature it on an online dating profile and see what happens. I mean: nothing else is happening with these profiles, might as well make an art project out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:30 PM
0

I think furries are still pretty underground/closeted. But who knows, maybe there's some untapped (no pun intended) potential there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:25 PM
14

Dude, you're talking to the wind. Women will absolutely never acknowledge this. They will just say "well I had to get dressed or put on make up" or "women take more risk just typing out "hey", so we actually put in more effort than men. Plus we have periods, which men don't, so go fuck yourself."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 05:37 PM
10

Yeah, there's an expectation for instant chemistry and spark now, whereas in olden tymes people often hung around and got to know each other a little before that kind of attraction set in. It makes me wonder why nerds aren't connecting more. If you have a deep interest in some hobby, wouldn't it be a natural launch point of connection/ compatibility (in the form of common interest), at least conversationally?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 05:30 PM
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Yeah, to some degree it's just maturity. Late bloomers are a thing too. Sometimes it takes a while to sort the wheat from the chaff if you grew up with bad information (or no information).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 04:28 AM
0

I disagree. When you're around women in real life, a significantly higher percentage will be willing to interact with you than online. It's one of the cognitive disconnects of online dating that baffles men. In school or at work men interact with women in a more or less normal way (with occasional exceptions), but online it's a total freezeout unless you're hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 09:08 PM
2

Texting is the absolute worst way to try to get to know someone. Possible exceptions are for people who literally can hold a real time conversation via text. Most people have to use their hands for other things occasionally. Some people can be humorous via text, but that vast majority of people can't and seem like they are barely awake when doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 04:34 PM
1

"that's just your opinion, man" So I guess none of that is real in any way to you. Cool. Could your opinion ever be changed? To answer your question, if I saw significant and consistent behavior to the contrary, then sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 04:43 PM
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They regard normal men as either socially inept, or monsters, or romantic ideals. Caricatures. And they expect men to perform in gender specific ways without being told. Women themselves barely understand their own expectations for male performance, they just believe wholesale in whatever masculine stereotypes are passed along to them, often by other women, but men also play a part in preserving those. That's just off the top of my head. Here come the downvotes. Predictable "I don't like that me…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 11:32 PM
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Treat men like people? Not ironically. Be decent, converse, have boundaries, share interests. I'll do my best to be considerate and entertaining, but give me some clues, and if I'm on the right track let me know. Friends first is fine, because we will know if there are any sparks or not (or interest that might be a level below "sparks", whatevs).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 11:21 PM
5

Not everything is quantifiable. In this sub everyone talks about the average man or woman, but nobody probably agrees on what average is. For example. I think someone asked men what the average woman looked like a few days back and the post got removed. Then, we all tend to be vague until we learn what are thoughts and what are feelings. The tendency is to confuse the two and use them interchangeably.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:08 PM
6

Doing the exact same thing every time and expecting different results. Not being assertive enough. Adhering to blatant stereotypes about men. Some women's filters actually couldn't be better designed to preselect for the worst men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 06:06 PM
4

It's not a gendered thing. Plenty of blue pill males do all that. People in general cannot empathize with things they have no experience with, instead they extrapolate their experience to others, and then can't understand why others aren't having the same results they have. You can see this in wealthy people who feel they are naturally superior to poor people. In the most extreme formulations you can see it in criminals who believe their victims were asking for it or deserved to be victimized by…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 10:03 PM
2

It's unpopular to like men. Among women it's considered "pick me" behavior to ever take the side of what could be considered a male perspective. It's taken seriously to the extent that it's considered a betrayal of feminist principles and a betrayal of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 05:35 PM
4

Because sex, love, romance, relationships are exponentially harder for men to achieve. Why are women in such denial about this concept? That's what the complaints are about. Nothing to do with pregnancy and childbirth. Lets put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Not everybody wants to get married and have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 12:56 AM
6

Are hook ups really that great for men? It's the default assumption, but you know what happens when you assume.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 07:14 PM
1

that's a point. If sex weren't a big deal cheating wouldn't be a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 05:18 PM
1

I'm torn on this one because I can see that some men aren't going to be able to have much sex (or any?) so there has to be alternate ways of finding whatever it is that sex provides for men. There has to be a way for those guys to feel ok about it. On the other hand though, many of the peak experiences of my life have been sexual. And it was different things that made those experiences good. When I was with someone where we both had crushes on each other about equally, it was like a religious ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 05:12 PM
1

I literally just forget and by that time a day or two later they are all not happy I get that too. a message on an app has all the urgency of a post it note under my windshield wiper to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 09:56 PM
1

Lets also have an alternative dating movement where women don't get "dolled up" for a date. Just show up in sweat pants or whatever is comfortable for you. No make up unless you "do it for myself". ~~~Have you thought about just being yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 05:35 PM
2

That is normal for older women who have lived a relatively healthy lifestyle and are lucky enough to have at least average attractiveness. You know what isn't normal? The gender reversed scenario occurring. People who think women expire at 30 (or 25) are trolls or, if actually serious, have profound coping issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 05:03 PM
1

Why do you call these men autistic? They will tell you themselves. A lot of men here say it's based I haven't read all the comments yet, but before investing them with too much authority I'd wonder things like how old are these guys, what are their sources (a "study" by OkCupid combined with pop evolutionary psychology), etc, to which I'd counter that MILF is the most searched category on that equally respected research outlet, Pornhub.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:59 PM
2

I know it's men saying it. Deeply autistic men mainly, who need to have life explained in the absolute most basic, simple terms in order to function. But women also embrace this lunacy because it enables them to characterize all men as similarly mentally disabled.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 07:48 PM
4

Please don't believe that stupid bullshit. And quit propagating it also. I'm holding women accountable for sharing in this idiocy at this point, like it's a sexist false flag "men think women expire at 25". Fucking hopeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 03:44 PM
0

There's not "someone for everybody", like 100% match rate. But there is someone for many people who are never the less going to be unsuccessful in ever finding that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 09:47 PM
1

In the case of surplus dudes, maybe free porn and intermittent rewards in terms of a relationship once every 5-10 years might be enough to maintain buy-in in the system. Plus all the free blue and red pill advice you could want. You can't do anything specifically for the benefit of men. That would be patriarchal. So no "hotel for lonely men", or, as I've always advocated for; PPD boot camp, where guys get fit and learn home economics, personal grooming, and social skills. Perhaps soon people wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 07:29 PM
1

It's not my theory so I'm not expert on it. Just saying it sounds like what OP was getting at; the idea that men are obsolete in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 02:11 AM
1

The guy who is a more stable and reliable partner, but perhaps less than the most desirable available genetic material.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:57 AM
0

What's "female intuition" have to do with it? The Evo Psyche rationale, as I understand it, is that women are less inclined to be wooed by the beta bucks guy since provisioning is taken over more by the state, at least in the west. The ideal being complete economic support for single mothers and their children, to insure that women's genetic material survives, and to give women the freedom to breed with whom they choose; the best genes she can attract, even if that guy isn't the best at providin…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:40 AM
–

Who is honest with whom is kind of another ball of wax. You could get deep in the weeds with that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:28 PM
–

Dude, it's totally what they wrote. You took that honesty you started with and just threw it in the trash. Also, why so condescending? Is downvoting just not enough for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:20 PM
3

Because you are valuing your fantasy "needs" (which are not needs nor part of the basic respect that people owe to one another) over the autonomy of another person. My brain isn't working well this morning so apologies if I can't explain it clearly enough. Take for example the credo on passports, which usually goes something like; "allow this person to pass through your lands unmolested and assist them if they should need it" That covers the basic human rights concept of freedom. Notice your pas…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:43 PM
–

You are interpreting "doing whatever we want" way too literally.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:39 PM
–

good point, I haven't actually seen that. In fact as I scroll down I see a few "it's never the woman's fault" boredom deniers.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:31 PM
–

Dude, you are seriously failing logic hard if you think that's anywhere near a logical equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:28 PM
–

Because we want to have a civil society where we don't victimize each other? It's why we make laws against violence. wtf kind of question is this? Why do men often resort to this line of reasoning? Make it make fucking sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:24 PM
–

This is interesting. This is progress. A few years ago, you'd never have a woman admit she ended things out of boredom. Instead blame would automatically default to the man. This is what it's like to treat women like human beings; human beings get bored. Women get bored. Some relationships aren't built to last forever but they are still good as long as they last. To answer your question about "what's wrong with it", nothing really, except that it does take two to tango. If they are bored, it's l…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:08 PM
–

Most women here deny dating is easier for women. They will say "sure I could date garbage level men, but I couldn't date an actual decent male human being". Somehow that isn't possible to them. So, despite your success, most are still complaining. Although a high proportion of women posting here regularly are in relationships, so it is kinda weird that they still claim dating is sooooooo haaaaaaarrd for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:00 PM
10

You've already had sex. why suddenly revert back to formality?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 01:22 AM
6

I agree with your first point but don't think the free question-asking period would solve anything. It's not about asking the right questions as much as just seeing if you actually can communicate and are on anything like the same wavelength, or if every interaction is going to be like trying to read the mind of a cat (that's a metaphor, cats are probably easier to read).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 06:20 PM
1

If it's fun then it's better than apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:37 AM
5

definitely spinning off into fantasy fiction at that point and keeps on going. Guy is just missing jetpack.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:15 AM
4

I genuinely believe that the male loneliness epidemic will be dwarfed by a female one in a generation or two I'm not really seeing that because women are already very good at connecting with other women over a very wide range of activities. I look for opportunities to be social sometimes and lots of groups exist that are women-only, from hiking to book groups to spiritual stuff. Women have a head start on addressing loneliness issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 09:22 PM
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So I’m just curious is this sub and/or the redpill believe women are supposed to choose better or women are suppose to fuck anybody they feel lust for out of impulse. Definitely the latter. Take all the time you need to figure it out. Especially if your strongest communication skill is small talk via text. It's going to take you a long time to actually get to know someone. Although, I wouldn't expect the complete "boyfriend experience" from the guy while you are still figuring things out. But th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 06:16 PM
1

I tend to agree, but it's a stretch to claim that what you actually do together has no effect on desire in the future. I have had occasional brief encounters where it was all about desire and teasing, with no penetration allowed, and no orgasms happened. The purpose was to do something exciting and interesting and unusual, not necessarily to orgasm. They were great and something I often think about, and they built desire, probably more than just straight up sex would have.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:15 PM
0

I'm sympathetic about menstrual pain and related issues. The other stuff doesn't really apply since I'm not interested in having kids, and I share in the responsibility of birth control, ie, if she doesn't like the pill for any reason then it's up to me (condoms or no penetration). Is this sub all breeders now?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:02 PM
2

Maybe it should be a new Amendment though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:54 PM
1

then what is a problem that we need to fix?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 09:27 PM
3

Well what do you think is the point of subs like this then? Shouldn't we just fold up the tent and go home since there are zero societal problems related to gender or sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 06:40 PM
3

It's not necessarily that men should talk about emotions or be emotional. Although boys should be able to do those things without being shamed for it. Men are still expected to repress a lot of emotions. Now, that isn't so terrible if you actually know what you are doing and choose what's happening. It's the lack of awareness and having the role thrust upon you, and being shamed for failing to conform, all with zero self awareness on anybody's (judge or the judged) part, that's the bad part. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 06:12 PM
8

Homophobia is a huge symptom of expectations of gender role conformity. But also all the women on reddit who say "I can't ask the man out or he'll think I'm a whore". That kind of stuff. Men suffer from gender stereotyping as well; unless in your culture they've eliminated all that? Mostly I see the problem in raising boys to be emotionally illiterate. Just so out of touch with their feelings that they dont' know what they are feeling and they very often are shamed for having feelings or behavin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:56 PM
1

ok
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 02:35 AM
2

There isn't much alternative to texting. The last time I dated someone though, I met them just before I had to take an extended trip several time zones away. Instead of texting randomly I'd send a longer email once a day. She said she'd been on the fence about going out with me but my emails tipped the balance for her. But that was an unusual circumstance. As for easier before, yeah. I've mentioned that I met people, and had several relationships start through Craigslist personals before they we…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 05:16 PM
–

Not too different from a basic romance novel. It was a common theme in early Hollywood movies that the noble though poor woman was involved with a man on her economic level, probably a childhood friend, and she shunned a wealthy suitor who displayed interest, because she was, after all, noble. But wait! Turns out the poor guy IS ALSO EVIL IN SOME WAY! Bet you couldn't see that coming. The story has a happy ending, she escapes the clutches of the abusive slob and finds herself with the secular pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 05:10 PM
7

For a decent+ looking guy who texts well, it's easier. For an average looking pud who's herky-jerky at texting, it's like a one-two knockout punch. I mean, maybe if you want to fake being as normie as humanly possible... maybe. But that wasn't necessary before. You literally could "be yourself" prior. To some degree you had to conform always, sure, but now you have to be a proper commodity.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 03:52 AM
0

Breeders problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 01:19 AM
–

I disagree that you'll know it if she's into you. That's possible, but it doesn't happen that often. Women often feel that the guy will do anything he wants, so if he isn't making the first move, that's proof that he isn't into her. Then there's also the bizarre rationale that if she communicated interest the guy would use her for sex, more so somehow than a guy who makes the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:00 PM
0

Because relationships can be worthwhile and it's not required that you live together. You don't have to attempt to merge your lives so completely that two people become one person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:54 PM
0

Women here think if you ever say "Hello" to a man it's the exact same as if you walked up to him and pulled down your panties and bent over.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 04:03 PM
–

Agree with the headline. Haven't read the text and there's a good chance it will go off onto a different topic, or many different topics. But the headline? Absolutely. Take all the time you need, and if he pressures you, dump that slimebag. THAT SAiD: I think women should be proactive when they are interested. You "vetting" shouldn't be easily interpreted as low or zero interest. Communicating interest while maintaining your boundaries is key.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:07 PM
–

they don’t put effort in and expect to be chased. I won’t deny that women like this definitely exist, but is treating them like a monolith advantageous for you? Just to address that single point, yes. It would be advantageous for women as well but since you asked about guys, relative to this point: men need to know they must put in more effort than the woman does. She won't necessarily even appear interested, even if she is, because she's been socialized to think men are all confident super men …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 08:43 PM
–

Those are good points, but how can you be anti trad AND anti feminist, per your flair? What ground is left to stand on?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 04:59 PM
3

Much of gender is a role play fantasy. It's one that is often programmed into us the way many fetishes are, by early experiences with shame, body awareness, eroticism, cultural ideals, and taboo. Becoming conscious of that to some degree is a good start. You don't have to think of it as abolishing or restricting traditional gender roles (sometimes it could be that way, but generally speaking), think of it as choosing them voluntarily and having the freedom to expand them, alter them, etc. Just l…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 04:53 PM
1

they'll say all men are wonderful or something Fascinating. possible troll post of course, but if not, utterly fascinating. Men here ream each other over the slightest thing daily. In fact it's like that on all subs. A guy will say there's a problem with something and other guys will instantly appear to tell him either the problem doesn't exist or it's because he's a total fuck up. Is there a male loneliness epidemic? Men: no you're a fucking loser. etc. It makes sense when you think about it si…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:02 AM
2

I'll disagree. A single guy is sometimes viewed with more suspicion (no social proof). Sometimes it's a good strategy to have a woman with you if you are going into situations where you want to interact with strangers, like traveling through small towns or something. But I wouldn't extrapolate from that much pressure to have a girlfriend. I didn't get any such pressure from my family because they a judgmental dicks in many ways and didn't think I'd be able to find a girlfriend. The only pressure…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 09:14 PM
7

Why should we treat men as human beings rather than anatomical robots? What difference would it make?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:41 PM
5

men’s dating problems are 99% self-inflicted Nah, cause there's plenty of guys (much more than 1%) who are aware that conversation is a give-and-take, and they still have dating problems. I agree with you that he can't monolog or sit there like a clam but that doesn't prove the sweeping generalization above. And for a whataboutism, I've seen women who can't carry a conversation who still do fine. But that's just how it goes. Guys gotta curate the experience for women. Are there men who disagree,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 05:35 PM
–

I don't notice every woman around me. A few do stand out for being exceptional looking. But that doesn't mean the other women aren't good looking or it couldn't be hot with them or whatnot. I can't be paying attention to every single woman, wondering what she's like, etc. There isn't enough time in the day, plus I'd probably look weird just evaluating every single woman in sight 24/7. I do tend to agree though that the hottest thing is when they are into you from the start. I did date someone wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:13 PM
–

I think it depends on how slow the burn is. I believe it's true that sometimes people aren't attracted to others right away, but can become attracted once they get to know them. But how long should that process take? It's not really being someone's "second option", it's more like you aren't obviously their fantasy at first glance, but you can fit the role once they've seen your screentest.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:56 PM
–

What if she needs toys AND porn? AND she strong arms you into a relationship?!? (Personally that sounds refreshing but I know ymmv)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:46 PM
13

How do those guys get dates in the first place? I've been on dates where the woman just sits there, unsmiling, noncommunicative. And she's not always having a bad time (tho sometimes she clearly just wants out), she just doesn't seem to feel offering positive feedback is necessary (maybe she thinks men don't need that because we're all so confident and "if he wanted to, he would", and all that nonsense). . In my experience it is MUCH more incumbent on me, the guy, to initiate and carry the conve…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:21 PM
3

“my dog asks do you like anal” Well, ya know, everybody always says how much they hate small talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:15 PM
1

I think there's a lot of aromantics in this sub. Is that a feature of some types or autism? Anyhoo, relationships are fun as hell. Even the ones that flame out eventually. I don't get how someone can't enjoy them. Unless you are absolutely a horrible judge of character and get mixed up with psychopaths or whatnot. But you have a modicum of skill in actually getting to know a person, relationships can be peak experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 10:20 PM
–

I'm not sure this makes sense because when women don't show interest I disagree that men respond by trying harder. To me this reads like the old adage; "don't try and it will happen!" which only works for the blessed among us.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:59 AM
3

My first relationship was like this. It was not a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 07:18 PM
2

Well, OP said "personality" so I think they mean an extrovert with charisma who happens to be less attractive. There are such folks but they tend to be rare-ish. OP doesn't mean a person who has lots of interests but is an unattractive wallflower.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 02:47 AM
–

I think everybody likes social validation. Women are just socialized to offer it more freely to one another, and to withhold criticism. Their world view may not even include criticism for other women (barring extreme circumstances and the occasional outlier), since males are an automatic scapegoat for nearly any situation, probably even up to murder - even situations w/o a male involved ("patriarchy" stands in for men at that point).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:00 PM
-1

You lost about 90% credibility when you described her as not wearing make up.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 04:53 PM
3

Men aren't comfortable in their own skin. On the contrary; they are generally told they are undesirable trolls, do some degree or another. That's precisely why compliments on their appearance can be more meaningful to them. Unless you are just talking about very attractive men, which women sometimes do when they refer to "men".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 06:06 PM
6

In this economy? I concur with guys who say splurging is for friends who are already established in your life. They don't get enough recognition and reward. Not for some rando with expectations off a dating app. You can get to know someone without them buying you junk.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 05:47 PM
1

It's interesting how anecdotal evidence is dismissed as being "not scientific". It is scientific. It's direct observation of reality. It's a single data point. Put several together (like in an internet forum) and you've got a data set. Dismissing it because it doesn't fit in with the worldview your ego is for some reason deeply invested in, that's what isn't scientific.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 06:54 PM
3

that wasn't what I was saying but ok
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:15 PM
–

Eh, I'm not so sure. I know people fetishize confidence. It's even how we elect presidents in my country. The confident one wins. But I think extroversion/ introversion plays a big role. I know lots of extroverts who are very successful at dating. I would not describe them as being free of neuroses of various kinds. Sometimes I envy them for their social energy, other times I pity them because it seems like they hate being alone with themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:51 PM
2

I recommend blocking me, because I feel you're not going to like any of my ideas if this ~~ very mild ~~ one threw you off your pegs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:20 PM
–

Sorry to let you down like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:17 PM
–

Sure buddy, we know you're not like us. You're better. We know. All the regular posters said the same at one point. ".... I'm just here to laugh at the spergs (<<< that's how dated it is)! [nervous, drawn out, performative lolling]" Better get back to touching that grass before it's too late.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:03 PM
–

Sure, I don't expect to sway anyone with my argument. I'm just conversing between cups of tea. I could work up a better case for it if I took some time, or put more thought into it, but I have other projects I'm working on that require concentration, so I'm saving it for that. It's enough to put the idea out as a suggestion.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:59 PM
–

Nah, it's widespread. we're so polarized because we can't tolerate ambiguity. 1 theory must explain everything perfectly. Anything less is unacceptable. And so on. The guy in the video is everybody - to a greater or lesser extent, but never zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:45 PM
–

Society itself is autistic now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:27 PM
1

It would be interesting to hear from lesbians. They seem to have gone the farthest in embracing non traditional looks, shapes, and styles for women. I know there's still lesbians who are attracted to the traditionally feminine, or what's traditionally considered attractive. But they also seem to have done the most questioning about whether that "is just nature" or if they've been programmed.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 06:21 PM
1

No not really. Not talking about the strict biological determinists, and I'm not one myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 01:47 AM
7

These guys sound dumb, but they all get more dates than I do, so I'm not sure how much space I have to critique them from back home here in front of the computer.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 01:45 AM
13

There's very little consensus about what average actually is, for men or women. Those memes with pictures of Chad or Stacy with glasses on that say "I love nerdy {guys, girls)!" might be kinda true. I remember arguing with a blue pill guy here and a few months later they came out as a trans woman. I've noticed some gender queer people are VERY dogmatic about not only gender being fluid, but the pressure to perform gender roles being non-existent for men or women. It's an interesting view that cl…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 05:41 PM
6

And jokes. The irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 06:21 PM
15

You don't understand, he was used for learning materials, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 05:21 PM
7

I know a few women who have married and a big reason is they don't want to be locked into a crappy job and they saw marriage as a plausible alternative. They still may have to work but they have a lot more flexibility to quit, change jobs, take jobs that don't pay great but are more fulfilling, etc, since they aren't the primary breadwinner, and some of the costs of living are shared.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:30 PM
2

This is why the "male loneliness epidemic" is not only real, it's by design. A feature, not a bug. To keep men invested in families. It's better for society when single men are lonely, hungry for affection, and will participate and buy in. <1/2 s>
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:18 PM
2

There is some truth to what you say. Sometimes for guys it's "any port in a storm". Many guys don't have the option to go on 100s of dates in order to choose a partner like you did. But you could also reframe it in a positive way. Guys are more willing to give you a chance. They aren't going to rule you out based on something that isn't really important. The problem then becomes, how do you decide if this relationship has genuine potential or not. Especially if you don't feel the "spark" like yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 05:22 PM
1

Chronically single but been in relationships before I'm sympathetic to some RP ideas, but both pills can be so deluded in their respective reality tunnels that I consider them both deeply twisted perversions.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 05:08 PM
2

I disagree with so much of the reasoning in your post that I'm not even going to get into it. Even the main premise is a faulty, since the ignorance and hate that women spread carte blanche about men, just for funsies, is at least part of the problem. But I at least somewhat agree with your main claim; it behooves men to support other men more, AND to not rely so heavily on women to provide fulfillment in a man's life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:32 PM
17

Please don't have male children
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 11:50 PM
59

men who are kind, considerate, funny, financially stable, monogamously oriented, sociable, generous, fun to be with, for instance, are a minority of men. I would tend to disagree, though I'd have to know what you mean by some of those terms, like "sociable" or "generous". These often have been female-coded words for "spends freely" "has status", etc. To answer your original question, I think there's lots of men who are decent, kind and considerate. But few men are perfect, just like few women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 11:33 PM
2

Women mostly admit the regret online, not in person. so "choosing better" doesn't apply unless you mean choose better online content. Never a bad suggestion. Also, very few women express deep regret, even if they did have a promiscuous phase. Speaking of very few; it's not really an option to select for extreme criteria when your pool of prospective candidates is extremely small (like 1 person every few years for some guys; not that the sich isn't the same across genders). There are the large po…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:33 PM
–

I would say most guys optimize their profiles towards what they personally like, and since they are men, give OP an opportunity to generalize. Since they are men exhibiting what they like, it might appear they are optimizing for the male gaze, but that is a bit of a leap.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 08:04 PM
3

I enjoy your over the top hyperbole but could you please add a tldr. How many of these fucking things do you think we have time to read every day?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 07:49 PM
–

Like the tone of your OP isn't problematic at all? "guys, look what I figured out, men don't care about women at all, they don't consider us people!" for the ten millionth time. What's disturbing about that? Anything do you think? I apologize - if I actually disturbed you - (tho I think you're just over eager to be disturbed and leapt at the opportunity to tone-police me).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 07:33 PM
–

that’s when it hit me. I’m realizing they actually care so little about women that they literally do not care if they attract a woman. It didn't hit you then. You thought this beforehand then sought confirmation and used selection bias to find it while ignoring anything to the contrary. How do I know? Because this is straight up batshit crazy. I'd counter any exhibits you presented but you gave none, just your own prejudicial judgments, which, as I say, you already had, you didn't form them like…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 07:12 PM
–

Sure, we actually get it. It's been said many times. But then don't be all like "omiga men have no social skills because they don't make the first move, bla bla bla" We're actively trying to keep our distance so as not to infringe on your space.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 05:21 AM
1

Women are just given more freedom to have varying opinions. We had a little thing called feminism happen and now women are saying all kinds of wacky stuff and no one blinks an eye. They can hate men, prefer never to interact with men, theorize about a world w/o men, and still get a 'you go girl'. Men, meanwhile, are still mainly benighted under patriarchal norms and if they complain about the masculine role they get called out quickly and loudly by other men and women. There is another male role…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 05:30 PM
34

The Madonna/Whore complex seems strong with this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 02:24 AM
5

This is one of those posts where the headline is phrased one way, and the body of the post is phrased in the opposite manner. Yes, I believe some women and some men genuinely don't want kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 11:54 PM
5

I'd prefer a high libido partner. I'm going to assume, living in an ultraliberal western place, that will mean she's had her share of experience. Why wouldn't she? I would if I were a woman living where I live. Don't forget people post here from all over the world. I think there's a strong religious conservative element (men and women) here as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 11:51 PM
2

Sure. There's also lotsa stories of women who realized they were lesbians later in life. What do?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 06:45 PM
3

Sure. I agree. this would be like exhibit G in understanding that women need to improve their social skills. In the simplest terms possible; a) actually take the time to get to know the person. You don't have to be exclusive in this phase. You're not having sex. When advising men, women typically will call this having, creating, joining, a social network. Take your own advice ladies. Social proof should be actually knowing something about the person, not his status perceived at a glance. b) The …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 05:04 PM
14

I think the cliche that all sex is good sex for men should be dispelled, but men themselves would never do that. The ego is too much involved in identifying as a highly sexual being to ever admit anything else. That man's masculinity or personality or both would be questioned and/or found highly suspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 10:23 PM
1

That is 1,690 women and 1,078 men [who were victims of intimate partner violence] Not to make light of the people who died here, and any number is too many,, but that's pretty close. I think sexual dimorphism and the difference in upper body strength probably accounts for some of the disparity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:15 PM
7

Top shelf psychoanalysis here
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:23 PM
11

I'm thinking most women are so full of personality and life that this never occurs maybe? Many times women are nicer, I'll give you that. Possibly because they aren't competing for every freaking thing all the time. But they aren't that nice to men. They wait for men to initiate and if the plan isn't entertaining enough she's done. To answer your question, I've broken up with someone because it was too boring. That's a rude way to put it, really it was that our personalities or interests didn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 08:01 PM
7

Is there anything more annoying than extroverts? But we get it, introverts BAD!! Extroverts, YAY FuN!!! The hypocrazy part might be that only male introverts are defective social pariahs, but female introverts are fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 12:31 AM
1

Yup. Time to close up shop and go home. OP should take on peace in the Middle East as their next project/post.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 07:29 PM
20

Concerns are about false claims of sexual assault, harassment, stalking, hostile work environment, etc, as much or more than concerns are about false rape allegations. While this conversation limits itself to false rape accusations, and of course that's fine, I find that this reduction to only the most extreme acts is often done to dismiss concerns regarding a broad variety of other kinds of false accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 07:24 PM
3

Stereotypes aren't just a them problem, though them is included. It's not just a matter of *poof* lets have no more stereotypes! Change tends to be more glacial than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 10:11 PM
2

Women had some more tangible things they were trying to accomplish, hence the protesting and so forth. They also had some less tangible things, like redefining what women's roles and choices and values could be. For men it's a little more existential, more about the roles and values, which makes it harder to grasp.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 09:04 PM
3

Nah, I always disagree with the "shut up, men!" takes because no one said that about feminism when it was at its loudest. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. In this case the issues trumpeted the loudest get the most attention, and that's how change happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 06:06 PM
7

I agree that men are their own worst enemy. But part of changing that is decentering women. Meaning, men have to focus on other meaningful relationships, not just 1 big primary romantic one, to give their lives meaning. It seems like you'll always have the guys who insist men are *nothing* but circus clowns with their dicks hanging out who will fuck a knot hole in a fence. Because there seems to be a prize for having the biggest dick, or lasting the longest, or being the horniest. Currently that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 06:03 PM
5

Yeah. it's not that hard. When you're little you look around and see what people value and reward and what they hate and punish.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 05:52 PM
3

we're constantly in pain from what?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 05:46 PM
3

Inadvertently they do. The complete lack of empathy for men and off the wall rhetoric that women have in response does as much to decenter women as anything. It's like putting out a little fire with gasoline.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 05:32 PM
–

To this point, I genuinely believe that females are better at sparking, facilitating, and maintaining interpersonal bonds (friendships or otherwise) than males are. How true is this? I tend to agree, but also wonder if it's just people repeated a gendered myth. If true, I think it is a result of socialization from childhood on. Boys and girls are made to conform in order to gain social approval, but the form that takes is different. Girls are socialized to cooperate and boys are socialized to co…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:10 PM
3

Your whole rant reads like an impotent Revenge of the Nerds fantasy. It's in your header "...technology I can switch off at will". No, you are not omnipotent. You are just another cog in the machine, like the numberless other men who live and die w/o recognition. If civilization ends, it's not going to be a renaissance for the real men that you fantasize about. Men will be the victims just as much as women. Probably more. This isn't a video game.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:58 PM
6

Even then, it's nonsensical rage bait, written as if OP did anything themselves, or OP's ancestors did anything other then benefit from opportunities given them that others were denied.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 05:32 PM
7

I know everybody tries to rewrite history with themselves as the main character but this is ridiculous
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 05:00 PM
6

Yeah, I was neither before but I only made it halfway through OP's halfbaked rage bait and it made me a blue pill feminist.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 04:58 PM
2

Probably more of a guy problem. A woman can go online and put together some kind of romantic life/experiences with a minimum of effort. Yes, I know 99% of all men online are subhuman. So she has to have at least moderate social skills to navigate that minefield, and that makes it a coin toss for many. Still I'd say the bulk of women can augment their romantic lives using online resources with some level of success. No ragrets. Guys? Hit the gym religiously, get 10,000 hobbies, and enjoy the jour…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:08 PM
2

I don't think men typically say "any woman will do" for a relationship. You might find some anomalies but it would be extremely rare, so not something you can make a claim about men regarding.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 03:42 PM
7

I think this falls apart because I've been perfectly happy with my "looksmatch" in the past. This generally seems to be the guys' compaint; they think they're happy and willing to date their looksmatches while women read much more into looks. Now, I concede that you have a point if you are saying guys would do what girls do if they had the opportunity. If tons of attractive women were paying attention to a somewhat average (or a little above) guy, after a while he would also think he should excl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:59 PM
1

Hilarious as always! Yeah, please don't cook for me. I don't need the sense of obligation created by you doing things for me that I never asked for, and then "keeping the receipts".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:01 PM
2

There's still a lot of stigma around prostitution. The economics are prohibitive. Then there's safety factors which are exacerbated by it being illicit. But who knows, the future of it may be evolving. Only Fans seems to be breaking down conceptual barriers and bringing sexwork to the suburbs. Perhaps the stigma will start to go away when suburban moms are doing it. Perhaps the price points will also drop as the market gets saturated with women dipping their toes in. End result? Maybe sex work w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:41 AM
1

Not saying ALL women like assholes: but you do worship confidence for whatever reason, so you are extra susceptible to con men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 04:32 PM
5

True yeah, but women benefit from being not just socially included but celebrated by 97% of the population. It's true that men should lift each other up. But women are already up, and they just get an extra bounce from other women. It's not like women are dead lifting the way men are. Men have to overcome a heavy anti male bias first then get to all that "You go guy!" stuff. Men on their own, women aren't interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 02:34 AM
6

Good point. I've seen plenty of examples of the nice guy script that they must be getting from somewhere, "I did everything I was told to do, no woman, is that fair?" And I believe women when they say the guy who acts nice but then does a 180 when rejected exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 11:09 PM
–

Are we all drama queens and kings now? I know it's scripted but I'd say she was being playful, not serious, he didn't joke/flirt back, then she trumped him by over (re)acting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:28 PM
1

That is simple and no one disagrees with it. I disagree. People disregard that a shocking percentage of the time. Instead they focus on bizarre "red flags" like texting quirks that don't exactly mirror their own idiosyncrasies and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 12:49 AM
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Driving is a very concrete activity, judging someone's capacity for empathy, compassion, trust, etc, isn't as readily quantifiable. I do agree that it shouldn't be quite so hard to explain. Good guy respects boundaries even if they conflict with what he wants, without pressuring or complaining. Flirting is just starting a conversation in some light banter form and then judging whether the other person is participating happily or humoring you. (And women suck at it as much as men do.) Is that sim…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 12:26 AM
1

I mean, yeah? You have to lock up psychos. I'm not sure what your point is. Sometimes I think you are saying "you shouldn't use the term 'alpha' because it's this awful thing, not the chadly personas you are referring to", but then you also seem to have a huge boner for anyone who acts with anarchic self centered freedom. I guess both can be true. The argument "how much civilization is too much?" is a perennial one, resulting in quotes like "those who seek security must sacrifice freedom", etc. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 09:36 PM
4

Why make this gendered at all? Men need protection from other men, women, armies, etc. Have you ever spent some time listening to the thought patterns of criminals? It does not break down along gendered lines. In fact, weak men are often seen as the most deserving to be victims of crime. seriously, men, you have to root out this childish way of thinking, that women need protecting but men don't, therefor women should be capitulating in any manner. Men are by far the victims of violent crime more…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:21 PM
8

Maybe you have a fetish for psychopaths. They are a force to be reckoned with but don't forget that it takes an army of scrubs (ie fetishists, cultists, fellow clansmen, etc) to do all that conkering. They get their power because others adore them, a little like you are doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:54 AM
3

Seriously men. Why do you suck so much and why are you so narcissistic and self-absorbed? What's it like going through life having zero consideration for other people? And you're attracted to these people why? Also, do you live in Pakistan or someplace? Where are men yapping so much and women struggling to keep up with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:50 PM
5

So do you do the same with women if they say, "I'm just going to stay home and knit for the rest of my life"?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:25 PM
2

The issue is online forums are packed to the rafters with women confused by or complaining about the horrible men they date, like a chorus in a Greek tragedy. It begs the question, "what did she ever see in this guy?" So maybe standards don't have to be some sacred cow that no one must ever question. And lets face it, most people aren't very original. They are just imitating stuff they see others doing or doing stuff they've been told they should do without ever really putting much thought into …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 06:55 PM
2

What point is that? I was replying to someone who seems to be talking about how old married couples function. OP seems to be talking about trying to meet new people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:48 PM
4

Being passive is a woman is not bad as being passive as a man. I agree, but many here would not. They would define the dude as defective, the woman as not only normal, but as haviing "social skills"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:45 PM
17

I'm not so sure about that. I'm a single guy, and the majority of my social opportunities are with other men and via other men. Women aren't asking single guys to do stuff that often. But you might have a point in that, when guys do get the opportunity, they should show some respect and appreciation, like bringing something, or thanking the host later. Not complicated, but I'm not sure guys get that message as often as they should.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:56 AM
5

I will grant you that women have better social skills around other women. And that's relevant, men should try to emulate that a little more. But no one has social skills in relationship. 90% of this whole website consists solely of men and women asking "how can I do something without coming out and actually communicating it?" Women worse than men, which is hardly possible, but they manage with the "he should just know", "men like to chase" etc, nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:49 AM
8

All the dumb mistakes people make in their teens you can also make in your 20s. And 30s. If you're lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:51 AM
60

Before you critique others social skills you should have some yourself. Women do not. Being passive and insisting that men initiate every interaction is not a social skill. But as far as having a social life goes, I agree with you. Men gotta make a part time job of being social if they aren't exposed to enough people. The world is made for extroverts.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:47 AM
2

Because women don't want weirdos constantly coming up to them? I'm assuming you're a troll because that can't seriously be news for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:44 AM
6

Here's my tin hat theory: society has an investment in making sure men desire things that perpetuate the status quo. Yes it's about biological desire, but it's also about controlling and shaping that desire in ways that benefit society and perpetuates its structures. Keeping men (and women) desiring more, always more, promoting FOMO until you feel you've wasted your life unless you're grinding 3 careers at once. You always have to be in a state of want. Sure, some men will win at the game. They …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:49 PM
–

Decentering women will mean that women and relationships are due for a world of harsh criticism. The same criticism you see commonly directed towards men and relationships in women-centric groups. It won't be pretty, so men hopefully will strive for a higher standard that the rhetoric you hear in here about "voting against women's rights" and so on. That is moral degeneracy. And should be resisted by men when they encounter it. What I'm talking about is realigning values so that your life goals …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:30 PM
2

random thought; why does the lesbian get to show up in sweats but the dude has to be in a suit? By the same token the straight woman has acres of make up on, but the gay man looks like he just reached into the closet and threw something on w/o looking
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:59 PM
3

Reports of men doing that are overblown. Some do, most do not. It was advice for men in some circles at one time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:45 PM
4

A funny detail about that bio; he says his strategy is to swipe right on every woman w/o bothering to even look at pictures. That's part of the reason he gets so many matches, tho he's also doing something right as far as pictures goes
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:02 PM
1

I think more irritated because she's offended that some guy she was doing a favor didn't appreciate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 06:28 PM
5

We lower standards for women all the time. We make goddesses out of fairly average women. You have no idea how "on the pedestal" woman still are in society in general. At least compared to the dudes, who get no compliments and only criticism unless they are athletes or leading man types. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with it. The perfectly mid woman can be a goddess of sorts. although maybe a bit limited in range or scope. (you can be a god of anything as long as you can do it).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:54 AM
1

I don't know about all that. Is the leash shorter if she's dating a guy she thinks is mid compared to other guys she's dated? Maybe. But I don't know if she'll be "more heartbroken". More irritated probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:03 AM
1

The thing is, there's so little to judge on a profile. I did an experiment where I only wrote to people whose profiles made me laugh or think. That narrowed it down to very few and none wrote back. Lesson: if you're an average guy, cast a little wider net. Especially since you can't really know anything about a person by the space they give you on a dating profile. for a woman with lots of choices, the criteria for liking a profile can be "hell yes". For an average guy with few choices, the crit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:42 AM
–

I think it's more this than the "women have more financial independence these days" explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:50 PM
–

What article is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:49 PM
4

Yeah, I think the "lessons of manhood" nonsense starts early. And fathers are as responsible as mothers. Not that you can't teach your kids to be stoic in some circumstances, but you should also teach them that it's safe to seek reassurance, love and safety from their parents. Parents are the ones who should be modeling what nurture looks like so that kids (boys and girls) feel valued and cared for. I believe that both boys and girls get gender indoctrination early, and receive reward (affection…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:48 PM
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I think women are the main consumers of "manosphere" content, the way they comment so expertly on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:35 PM
6

Did Schopenhauer just need more pussy? It is a philosophical question. Perhaps, but he seems like one of those probably autistic philosophers who had extremely set routines and hated to deviate from them. Like, after writing pessimistic philosophy all morning he practiced the flute for an hour at noon every day without fail. People could set there watches by the appearance of Kant on his daily walk at the same time each day, rain or shine. I think these guys were probably asexual rather than inc…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 06:32 PM
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You're painting a very dismal picture of men here, and as usual the dudes are playing right along. Looks will get anybody a pass to a certain extent, man or woman. Sometimes to a very great extent. Some people coast on their looks quite a bit. But generally both men and women will be appreciative of other effort that is put into being a decent person and a good partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 12:19 AM
1

Women seem better at creating low key social circles with other women. Guys do stuff like sports or camping together, but women don't seem to need an event to hang out. But then they can organize events too; in my local coffee shop there are always events going on that are focused on women, or women-only (granted, many of these events are to make $$).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 06:47 PM
3

I do find it fascinating that there is 100% concurrence among women that attractive men have better personalities and are better to date than unattractive ones, per their actual experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 06:14 PM
1

I dated a tiny bit and it was all positive. I wish I'd been able to date more, because it took a ton of experience to figure out how to be in a relationship. Lots of trial and error. Would have been nice to have got a head start. And even later, though the pace did pick up, it was still s-l-o-w
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 12:23 AM
3

I'd be delighted to date a "pick me" girl, if those actually existed. At least where I am they do not. Or they are in short supply and grabbed up quick. Maybe in other cultures there are pick mes all over the place but where I am it's about as common as unicorns.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 01:59 AM
10

Guys think the stripper likes them because the stripper makes them feel good by being nice to them (something they have little experience with). There is no feeling divorced from thinking, for either men or women. The way you think about something determines how you feel about it. You don't have a feeling divorced from all thought. In that way, we are "logical"; we adhere to our own internal reasoning, although our thinking may be faulty and our perception of reality distorted in the extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:03 PM
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No, he's just saying hate speech is ok when it's directed towards men, and if men are too touchy about it they are being over sensitive and need to touch grass.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:47 PM
1

OP, wtf are you talking about? You post in the Forever Alone sub about being "forever alone like you've always been". So why come here to bullshit like this?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:33 PM
15

If you think straight up misandry and man hating purely based on gender essentialism doesn't exist - and not just in internet bubbles - your head is buried in the sand. This is exactly what people talk about when they criticize blue pill. The delusion combined with something like a religious conviction, incapacity for empathy, and gaslighting, are through the stratosphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 05:55 PM
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Both pills are guilty of outrageous offenses against common sense and decency. (I was being sarcastic about the height and weight)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:53 PM
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Good point. I live in one of the most liberal places on earth. It's easy to forget that many commenters are coming from places that are very different in terms of traditional relationship values and gendered expectations, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:43 PM
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Maybe height and weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:40 PM
1

I'll tell dudes on reddit who want to procreate just to carry on their lineage or whatever that they shouldn't have kids unless they are 100% positive they can raise the kid for 18+ years and absolute desire children for their own sake (not just to carry on your name). Not sure what else you want? I don't think anyone is encouraging guys to do otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 09:23 PM
1

Yeah, you never know. There's a guy in another sub who claims to be a short, balding middle aged man with digestive issues (meaning, he can't eat out at restaurants often), and he claims that he has to deactivate his online dating profile after 3 or 4 days because he has so many women contacting him. And these are professional, highly educated women as well. So you might be right.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 08:24 PM
1

There's defintely a chance that this woman would have given you a chance on a dating app despite Chad being on there too. Yeah, no. As someone who's been on various dating apps over the years, there's no fucking way. You are a little blue sky delusional there. But good for you for being an optimist. Even women on dating apps know what their league is I'm going to disagree there as well. It may not be as extreme as some people claim, but the truth is in the middle somewhere, not over here on Fant…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 05:15 PM
5

Right, yours is the kind of story I usually hear around these parts when women "date down". I'm wondering if that ever works out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:31 PM
3

In the age of online dating, you are correct. But, there are some places, I think (hypothetically speaking) where people aren't completely immersed in online dating. In those places, it would help if taking the initiative weren't so heavily gendered. Why? Because there's only so many Chads to go around in real life. Unlike online, where there's an abundant supply pipeline (if you will) of them. I've observed this personally. A woman I worked with for a long time finally asked me out. We ended up…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:08 AM
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So what happened when you were in relationships with guys and you just kept putting more and more energy into the relationship? Or did you? You mention women do this together, and that's great, but I haven't experienced this in dating women. Basically, if I, as the man, stop leading, the whole thing grinds more or less to a hault. Not that she can't be a great partner, but she is rarely taking the initiative. We all know guys have to take the initiative in the beginning, do all the courting, etc…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 03:14 AM
5

Well, this is why I'd never live with a female partner. So I can't really recommend women living with their male partners, unless they arrive at an agreement about this stuff. It's not that I can't cook, I like my cooking. But she generally doesn't like my cooking, she wants things her way, and I end up capitulating, then I have to do some make up chore like the dishes. I really vastly prefer just cooking for myself and making whatever I want. I'm not a terrible cook (as I said, I like cooking f…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 01:27 AM
1

I agree with your second paragraph. Re: the first; are these handsome guys really "abusing" those women? The guys I know who are "naturals" don't have to make false promises or anything like that. People don't have the "what are we?" talk until quite a ways in usually, so there's no need for deceit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:29 PM
13

100%. If she isn't into the guy she's going to be making less than zero effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 07:28 PM
5

Women, at least online, will swear en masse that dating less attractive guys is ALWAYS a bad move. Where they thought the guy might be happy and appreciative, he was insecure or resentful. Are there any women who have dated "average" guys, and the guys turned out to be great guys? I haven't heard of any testimonials to that effect, but I've heard many to the opposite effect; that when it comes to men you absolutely can judge the book by its cover.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 07:25 PM
2

Here's the thing; sexual compatibility is sometimes the thing that makes or breaks the potential for a LTR. And this works from women's perspective as well, or at least I've heard some women say that after sex they realized they had no interest in seeing the guy again, even if after sex he was really into her still.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 07:08 PM
4

They aren't always going to do what benefits them, or really what they want. If that were the case this sub wouldn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:39 PM
10

The problem is the level and kind of critique men receive around this, like that men have less social skills, or can't read the room. Then it absolutely is hypocrisy because women aren't "choosing not to", they absolutely lack those same skills they criticize about in men. PS: it doesn't help women by preaching that women shouldn't develop social skills or assertiveness, but instead should be passive and accept whatever the tides bring them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:34 PM
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Did you steal this from Cotton Mather?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:23 PM
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I don't know, I just started thinking "sex witches" at some point
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:20 PM
1

Milf Island
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 03:47 AM
5

But guys like "submissive" aspects of femininity as well, to balance the equation. Perhaps some of us might benefit from thinking of our attraction towards gender stereotypes as a kink. At least when we like the exaggerated expressions of them. It might be useful to recognize that some things we like in the bedroom don't have to be lived 24/7.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 01:39 AM
5

I think you are right that a lot is ego driven. But some of it is legit because relationship styles (expectations vs reality, values, etc) are evolving. And, even when not evolving, all of the traditional gender relations stuff is being reinterpreted using different lenses. To make people see things a different way is not easy. Some people are more open minded but most of us are heavily invested in whatever it is we believe, and believe we have experienced (and then egos will again be front and …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 11:59 PM
27

Incredibly strong social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 05:39 PM
1

Men are better at working and women are better at cooking and cleaning. wtf? Guys, can we please at least try to pull our heads out of our asses when it comes to this silly stuff?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 05:33 PM
2

RP says exactly the same thing, that men should not linger in the anger phase and accept that "it is what it is". But I disagree with other parts of OP's premise. Women actually disempower women as much as they think they are empowering them sometimes, with the whole "if you can't have a Disney Fairy Tale Romance then choose wine and cats" shtick. Instead of teaching women what reality actually looks like for most average people. It's great that women have the choice to decenter men, and I think…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 05:28 PM
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Money gives you the opportunity to go out more, do more things and meet more people. That's big. Going out is starting to cost a fortune these days. And even if you don't believe it, people notice all the markers of someone who has money (and spends it), especially if they have good taste in the shit they buy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 05:17 PM
6

Milf porn is huge too though. So where does that leave us?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 01:49 AM
2

I've been cheated on and forgiven. But, I'm not the marrying kind, and I don't believe in soul mates or Santa Claus or whatever it is people believe in. The people in my dating pool aren't perfect. And they aren't always perfect matches. But they are still worthwhile, because there kinda isn't such a thing as perfect, at least not for me. I was upset about the cheating, but I feel like they still treated me with respect when we were together. People will say that's impossible. Perhaps the differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 04:42 AM
7

The way you objectify, other, and denigrate men makes me question your assessment of your own emotional attunement.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 03:52 AM
2

Your advice is basically "be more socially engaged and engaging", which is good. Being socially engaging and looking towards including everyone should be prized as male characteristics, at least as valued as the infantile overvaluing of leadership and competition. (Being inclusive of others should be considered a part of leadership rather than the over emphasis on competition.) My problem is more with how men are raised from the outset. It's impressed upon guys that they have to be stoic and sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 05:12 PM
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It kinda makes no sense because what if you factor in other forms of power and force (laws, police, courts, prisons, armies, economic hierarchies, etc), ie, the forms of power and force that actually exist in the real world. This is one of those situations where men aren't a monolith so it makes no sense to theorize about them being such. Unless we're talking about ultra conservative religious communities or closed (read: unfree for men or women, at least by western standards) societies.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 01:25 AM
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A thing that you may not be factoring in is the threats of violence that women receive. Guys may be the victims of violence more often, but when it happens it's generally out of the blue, like a lightening bolt. So guys aren't thinking about it too much unless they are walking around the city late at night or something like that. For women, the threats and harassment seem to be like a constant trickle coming chiefly through the internet, but occasionally in real life as well. This kind of nearly…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 01:05 AM
1

I wouldn't agree with this, but everyone took the bait eagerly, so there must be something to it. I would guess that men who consume sex content don't look down on the women who create sex content. I'm in a few 18+ themed subs and the men there are pretty enthusiastic about the content they consume and they are appreciative toward the women who create it. But, I guess, judging by all these replies, in some conservative backwaters the Madonna/Whore complex still rages in the hearts of men. And pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 10:45 PM
1

It likely would be based on a subscription model, or some kind of info harvesting, probably both.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:21 PM
3

Well, maybe not wife. I'm not ready to commit to my toaster. But I'd give it a try. We already use elaborate sex toys. And the few times I've used AI CoPilot have been very pleasant. They train that AI to compliment you profusely, so it tells you that every query you give it is "deep and profound" or whatnot before it gets on with giving you the answer. Probably more compliments in a single afternoon from AI then I've received from thinking, feeling humans in my adult lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:16 PM
1

Thank god someone FINALLY addressed this issue. Now we can move forward as a society.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:11 PM
14

Right; it isn't feminine characteristics that are being judged in your example, it's the fact that a man isn't performing his gender role properly. Those same feminine behaviors are approved of when they are done by the gender for whom it is permissible to do them. In that case, those behaviors signal that the woman is performing her gender role correctly and she will generally be rewarded for doing so.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/25 04:23 PM
1

Only beautiful psychopaths will be selected for the future
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 04:12 PM
2

We should not try to stop the male loneliness epidemic and instead let natural selection take place. Well, I think we should raise men up to feel emotionally whole even without the validation of women in dating environments. Same with women, though women seem to have a head start in decentering men (Pro tip: part of the secret is women can bitch ad nauseum about men w/o criticism for it, in fact they get massive validation from other women. It will have to be tolerated when men employ this tacti…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 06:20 AM
3

While I basically agree, there are times when women's interest and disinterest are identical. Lots of women don't really feel compelled to give men positive feedback even if the women are interested. It just doesn't even register for them that they are giving no signs of interest or that that would be necessary for any reason. Maybe it's a goth/punk thing, but some people think it's cool not to emote in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 09:37 PM
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Don't let em break you man! (<<< attempting to support a fellow male)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 05:00 AM
3

To a certain extent perhaps. Men would do well to learn from women. But in-group bias shouldn't be institutional, for example. Women aren't hitting everything out of the park. Or do you completely disagree? Also, I'm not sure women are 100% happy with the status quo, given how much they complain about dating not playing out as they would like. And here the typical faux-feminist response is to embrace a version of learned helplessness: "go your own way, girl, with your besties and your wine". Tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 04:59 AM
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Men should be raised to be independent of women. Currently, a lot of the default assumption is that a woman will complete a man's life. She will be the meaning and focus of his life in most instances, a compensation for hard work and sacrifice. That needs to go in the trash can. The lesson for boys is that you have to take care of each other, not wait for women to magically fill that role. Advising men to be emotionally dependent on women is as bad as advising women to be financially dependent o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 05:18 PM
1

a study recently that claimed that 70% of men in the US don't believe that for a second. Unless it was a poll of evangelicals.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:35 AM
1

IT's kind of impossible to know, because the guys who were left behind in the past didn't have an internet to complain to. But then, they also didn't have nearly crisis levels of FOMO as a result of looking at the internet for hours each day. So maybe they weren't crying in their beer about it because it was more or less normal. Online dating probably does skew dating compared to preinternet days. Though some reject that idea, it seems like it must have had some effect. Even the way people wrote…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:04 AM
1

No, c'mon. We know a guy has to be "confident" or the woman gets "the ick". There's no 'time out' from those gender roles, except possibly in LGBTQ communities. If a guy isn't confident (what could be easier for men?//s) it's because he's severely defective somehow, socially or psychologically or physically. That absolutely does not apply to women, unless you are super high. Women's version is more like she can't express anger in any way that's consider appropriate, if you want a gender equivale…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 04:49 PM
2

Sure but you are citing the exceptional, not the average.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 05:55 AM
–

I agree with you making that distinction. And it's reasonable to do so. This group constantly reminds you that many, many men consider "male loneliness" only to mean lack of sex. So I don't blame you there. But I disagree that women understand men's issues when they aren't obvious. And there are many "men's issues" that men don't agree are significant (Hence blue and red pill takes being opposite often enough). And - I don't think you can care or empathize with issues you don't understand. It's …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 05:56 PM
1

I didn't mean to. I suppose some things are valuable but not meaningful? Offhand, I'm not sure where to draw the line between them. I was using both terms interchangeably.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:02 AM
2

Valuable to me, yeah. I like it. To others, perhaps a few would say my life is valuable, the same way their existence comforts me. Mostly just family and very old friends, and even then the value is sorta 1/2 nostalgic, and largely based on memories. Also in some abstract sense, perhaps. Life if just doing whatever it is that it does. I wouldn't say it does it blindly, since drives have evolved and there seems to be some determination to exist and become whatever we will eventually be, even if w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 05:28 AM
3

My parents were/are divorced 3 or 4 times each so I'm not sure how much wisdom they'd have to impart.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 08:06 PM
7

Well yeah, but no. Many women claim that all men are trash. That's too high. If a woman has zero luck dating for a very, very long time, despite wanting to, there's probably something wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 05:29 PM
1

- nobody who's sane is demonizing your sexuality as long as you're not going around assaulting other people. I mean, you're kind of arguing with yourself a few paragraphs earlier; You have the Por-Yes type feminists who will tell you that porn is actual super empowering and maledom BDSM is actually great because the female sub has all the power to decide what the dom gets to do to her. ^^^I'm going to say that outside of some kink circles (and even then not universally) you do not encounter this…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 04:40 PM
1

Right now, no. But if friends and family start dying off before I do that might be a different issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 01:51 AM
3

I know I personally do it because I think that's what men want. And I would like to know, with this being my only motivation for doing it, if I should keep doing it or not. It depends on what specifically you're talking about. The answer is probably "don't bother" since women who have no clue about what men want usually guess completely wrong. Like, I think you're talking about not going out without your hair done and fake nails, rather than just being a decent person, but I could be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 04:44 PM
1

Well that actually happens. But we used to call that "the biological clock ticking" or whatever. Women who want kids will try to include stability in their assessment of a guy. Not just "is he hot?" but "would he make a good father and husband (or ex-husband)?" But that's not what "the wall" is, as I understand it. The Wall is supposed to be this idea that women lose attractiveness after 30 and now they are so sad that they can't date top tier Chads anymore. The two concepts seem to be interming…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 05:51 PM
–

Do you really not get any interest? There was a comedian in my town who was not great looking but seemed to be up-and-coming career-wise who was dating a woman I considered ethereally gorgeous. The kicker though: she stated that she hated comedy. And she was being serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 12:34 AM
4

The game has to make some kind of sense. There has to be a clear path forward, otherwise sacrifice and suffering are pointless (and maybe endless?)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:46 PM
1

There are variables. I've imbibed substances and felt more confident. I don't recommend that though. Some people are addicts or alcoholics for just that reason. Other people get confidence through various belief systems. I've seen religious people who are super happy and confident because they believe they are important in their world view. Maybe that's why we are so polarized in politics these days; political dogmas give people a form of confidence that they get an ego boost from, not too unlik…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:42 PM
1

And even if there is no success, as long as you don't put value in success or aren't berated/mocked for the failure - you can still be confident. You are talking about transcending the ego here. A good goal but not easily achieved.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:32 PM
3

Confidence is not innate. Confidence comes from repeated success at something. Having success at something doesn't translate to general confidence, unless that thing is highly valued by society at large (has status). That's why the chess nerds usually weren't slaying (until recently- chess is cool now). Confidence is probably more associated with how safe you felt in your infancy, when your survival needs were 100% dependent on "the world" outside of yourself. Confidence that you aren't abandone…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:30 PM
2

I could see that being a yellow, or bright orange, flag for women. For guys there might be some grain of truth to it, since emotional expression is less permitted for guys, so it might come out more in the form of hugs and kisses then statements of feeling. But it's probably fair to translate that as "sex is my love language". Not sure that's even that terrible, since many of us do involve emotions in sex to some degree. On the other hand though, talk is cheap. "Words of affirmation" could be vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:15 PM
5

That’s what hook ups are for Please clarify; are you implying that relationships aren't for "wild, lustful sex", only hook ups are for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:05 PM
21

No. I was a late bloomer because I had to get over my own messed up childhood. I can't blame my peers for my own late start. I couldn't get out of my own head. I blame my parents a little, but they actually made some effort (1/2 assed tho it often was), they just didn't have a clue either. It does suck and I do feel I missed out on a lot, but I don't blame my peers. They didn't do anything. If culture was a little different and being a shy male was more recognized and accepted as being more or l…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:19 AM
1

It seems like I have to learn some new software thing every other week. I'd say my biggest challenge is making new friends. I'm pretty good at staying in touch with old friends, and with family, but they are far away. I'm a member of some hobby groups but we only meet 1x a month. I enjoy chatting then but it's not that much. Part of the problem is I am an introvert by nature. I enjoy alone time most of the time, but I'd like short hits of socializing here and there. It's hard to make friends whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:39 PM
1

Got pretty good at some knot tying, but mostly variations of nooses. I hope that's not as ominous as it sounds. I'd like to learn some practical knots too. For a while a lot of good video shorts on the subject were popping up on my feed.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:35 PM
4

I think this dynamic extends beyond the professional roles. Particularly for men. Hence the fetishization of "confidence".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:01 PM
1

Well yeah, being attractive is a free pass around all that. Then you can act more or less like a normal person. But if you are right on that cusp; not too unattractive to be an automatic veto, but not attractive enough to get by with practically nothing more than grunts, you have to be engaging. Lots of guys are in that limbo-like area.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:54 PM
1

A little bit. Like with online dating. Just being a normal person isn't going to get you anywhere. You have to be able to engage and/or entertain. Otherwise she's on to the next schlub in her inbox. To greater or lesser degrees this paradigm may continue on in the dating process, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:51 PM
6

As someone occasionally in customer service, this is very true. You can't indulge in thinking out loud or asking rhetorical questions, you have to reassure that person that you can solve their problem, or at least move them closer to an answer. No self doubts allowed.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:47 PM
1

I have known men who stayed in relationships with women they didn't love for either financial reasons (meaning a divorce would wreck them financially), or because they had kids. But no guy stays in a relationship with someone they don't like because they're lonely, or because she makes good pancakes. Those pancakes are going to be made with resentment. Maybe there are people like that,, but that would be some kind of pathological dependency at that point. As for the settling thing, yeah, it's tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 05:35 PM
6

Yeah I noticed too. He's just another accessory in this short clip. One that is relegated to the background. There's an eerie feeling of "my work is done here". It's just a short clip though so who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 05:14 PM
1

Alright sorry, I should have addressed their use of that particular word the first time. Good points!! Are you happy now?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 05:09 PM
0

Here's the issue; men are told to "man up" from the time they can walk. They are judged on performing male drag from the time they can speak. It is the similar with women, but for women this usually includes a greater measure of inclusion and emotional support. You've probably never been afraid of being shunned or bullied just for showing some degree of emotional vulnerability. Actually maybe you did in school, especially the way things are going now if you are young. But most likely you receive…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 05:04 PM
1

I find their use of "admiration" to be an intentionally belittling and insulting minimization of men's emotional experience as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 04:49 PM
1

Nobody is talking about admiration. Please try not to derail with nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 03:47 AM
3

Now they are just memories (mostly treasured), fading into the background, but they were very important at the time. They are still important in some kind of life satisfaction thing, in as much as past experiences can influence the present (I'm not sure how much that is % wise, but I think it's not insignificant).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 01:20 AM
2

Gender aside, anytime a person steps outside of the script society handed them, they sacrifice the automatic praise and affirmation that is given freely to conformity. But lack of admiration is not the same thing as oppression. I think it is. The oppression being a general sort of opprobrium and disapproval, dissociation and isolation that begins in early youth and eventually results in men leading lives of generally mild to moderate emotional deprivation. Being childfree might be rough, particu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 12:21 AM
6

I think you're overestimating the amount of guys who have swallowed the red pill kool aid and think like this. They are definitely over-represented in this sub, so it's understandable why you would think it's common among men at large. But even the original data (the OkCupid "study" where men and women had to rate profiles but were shown different profiles selectively in order to generate revenue for the site) I find highly suspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 05:19 PM
2

Most men just want you to stroke their ego and pretend to be vulnerable and that's it. They will be your slave forever. Jeeze. You kind of nailed that one on the head there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 05:11 PM
13

Yeah, I would say becoming dependent on your spouse is a huge gamble for anyone. Always try to have a Plan B just in case things go south. It could be in the form of extended family as back up support system.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 05:10 PM
11

Part of the reason guys achieve all that shit is because they are told they are worthless human beings if they don't though. That's literally the message. Women don't receive that same message. It's a hugely sexist difference in cultural messaging and it has an effect on men's well being because they have to conform to outside expectations to a huge degree to feel any basic self worth. Women have to conform too in some other ways, but feminism has expanded/exploded some of those expectations (no…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 05:05 PM
3

Absolutely professor. They just have to dress well.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 02:05 AM
5

Dude why stop there? Average men do fine cold approaching too. Just dress better and get a haircut. In fact, all average men have to do is go outside and touch grass. Women will just come up to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 01:59 AM
9

There’s nothing specific that women need to do to address male loneliness. There could be. Women are capable of being gross sexist pigs towards men. Not in a sexual objectifying way. But in a judgy way regarding what a real man is or isn't, when the real man part means conforming to stereotypes that deny one's humanity. I mean, women could think about whether they ever do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 01:24 AM
1

It's happening, it's just moving glacially slowly. pretty soon you'll see men socializing more in non-traditional (for men) ways. And you'll see more options for men to socialize in the traditionally masculine ways. There will be more therapy options for men. But first you have to counter the messaging that a man's primary social outlet should be a girlfriend/wife. And that will involve a lot of men bitching about being lonely, so we will all have to just fucking deal with it. Same thing happene…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 11:50 PM
3

Well, yeah; a relationship is pretty all engrossing. Generally you aren't lonely if you're in a decent relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 11:25 PM
2

I don't find that to be true. PPD men often say "I have plenty of friends... but I'm still looonnnnelllly!", ie, it's just about getting their dick wet. In reddit in general you see more guys complaining that they have zero friends or family, not so much in PPD (they'd be shamed immediately probably).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 11:23 PM
-2

It's gross to deprive a child of another parent intentionally. I can't think of much more narcissistic than to create another life to assuage your need for meaning in your own life. What happens to the kid if something happens to you? Interesting that there is so much testimony that is pro-single parenthood here though. I've definitely seen the polar opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 04:53 PM
1

Both things are true. Sometimes good looking people benefit from the golden halo effect. But then some people who aren't as good looking can benefit from having a fun, outgoing personality. I experience the latter when I haven't had any caffeine for a while then have a couple cups of coffee; it makes me way more outgoing than I was before coffee for example. Some people experience this lessening of inhibitions with alcohol. The point is, socialization when you are trying to meet strangers probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 04:28 PM
1

Some women find it easy to find relationships. Or at least, they don't find dating a horrendous minefield like women here claim it is. It's rare, but once in a while a woman will just come out and say "yeah, I can get almost whatever I want if I have patience". But there are some women who don't have that particular skill. My friend is average-cute, smart, nice, and she can't find a relationship to save her life. I haven't looked at her dating app info, but I suspect she's looking for some hybri…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:29 PM
2

This sub is weird as shit. You can literally make up anything and say "why do men do that?" and people will believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 03:51 PM
2

I've seen plenty of unattractive men joking around and saying they would go to a place where hot women gather, You are very perceptive and attentive. I'm a guy and I've never heard or seen guys talk about going where hot girls are. Girls in general, maybe? but I've never heard that there are separate locations based on numerical values. Like how would women sort themselves in that way so that they know where to go?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 11:53 PM
–

Not really. The world favors extroverts who are extremely outgoing. It's who we elect as president every. single. time. Confidence is the number one characteristic women say they like in men. Shy men aren't necessarily below average in other metrics besides shyness. They may be above average in quite a few. Doesn't matter. No one gives a shit. Beware of this judging a book by its cover. Sometimes it will be accurate (sometimes poor people are lazy and/or dumb; and sometimes rich people are above…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:18 PM
1

What are your most secret fantasies?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 05:07 PM
2

Love: It's fun if you can find someone who is even remotely compatible with you. Hate: How difficult that is to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 04:49 PM
2

I'm surprised no one mentioned ... NoFap. Many there report that after a period of time of zero masturbation and zero porn consumption, their libidos recalibrate to a more functional level. I tried it myself at a time when I was too habituated to porn and my own hand as stimulation, and after a biblical length of time (like 40 days maybe), my libido did go into 'sleep mode'. It was probably more like a woman's libido; it was there, but not revving on high every other hour or so. I eventually fel…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 04:45 PM
2

That could be part of the study grant proposal; what would women's ideal app be vs what would men's ideal app be.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:44 AM
6

I've often thought some open source nerds could make a better dating app or two. And they may have. I searched "github dating apps" and there are some. Might be terrible, might be hilarious. Also, some grad students should get a grant to design a dating app that people are pleased with, just to see if it's psychologically possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 09:08 PM
1

It would be easy for apps to sort messages by those you've interacted with vs those you haven't replied to. Some apps do that now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 09:05 PM
3

Will delete this soon. I've never met any subgroup that is as consistently, relentlessly uber-bitchy as sub males.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:32 PM
2

This is the equivalent of "don't try and love will just magically find you". I've done all the spiritual searching and made a highly functional life that I like. Nobody gives a fuck. Much better to take Dale Carnegie's advice and learn what makes other people tick then go your own way and hope others will magically be attracted to you for doing so. If you are really advising guys to find a different sub culture to enmesh themselves in, and calling that "achieving personhood", then ok, but the re…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 08:16 PM
5

Maybe you are getting with guys who just have that many options that they are sampling the entire buffet. Personally I'd love a FWB but sexual compatibility, and personality compatibility, is by no means a given. At one point in my life I think I've been with someone and thought " that was ok but not quite what I'm looking for" because I was hoping to find someone I felt a very high degree of compatibility with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:41 PM
4

No, I mean various drugs where a side effect is loss of libido. There are various ones, some anti depressants are notorious for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:33 PM
3

Don't some drugs already have that as a side effect? I'm not sure those people experiencing it are happier for it. Maybe though. They may not have much opportunity to express it if that side effect made them happy. edit; personally I wouldn't want to take a libido curbing drug, even though massive horniness can feel super lonely at times. It also feels like a lust for life though, which I like.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 05:33 PM
2

Generally I'd say shy is lacking confidence or assertiveness in social settings. Introversion is having less desire to be in social settings in the first place, and when in them, often staying for shorter periods of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 04:49 AM
12

What I found helpful was the list of things that are feelings and what are not, often found in the nonviolent communication literature. It definitely applies to men as well, but I get your point that women are often encouraged to consider their feelings as 100% objective rather than the possibility that feelings may be in large part subjective.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/10/25 12:04 AM
20

I think introversion is going to make it difficult for guys. Can't meet someone if you aren't out there, a lot. Add any degree of shyness on top of that and it's an even tougher row to hoe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 05:14 PM
1

If I felt like she genuinely had some interest in me at all, I'd be flattered. But that's fantasy. Where I live this would obviously be a feminist experiment in irony, so it would be performed in such a way to convey obvious disinterest, probably with a subtext of hostility.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 04:52 PM
–

That makes sense. I guess I use the terms 'post' or 'comment' a little too loosely or interchangeably sometimes. You 'post' a 'comment' so it can get confusing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 06:02 PM
–

I thought they were talking about your post, since they were replying directly to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 04:00 PM
2

It is a bummer. I don't follow politics closely but a lot of my liberal friends are excited about AOC's future. This isn't a good look though. It sounds like not just more of the same liberal bloviating but actually doubling down on what has proven clearly to be losing strategies. Do they actually want to win? Or is it better to lose and have the right to complain?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/10/25 03:42 PM
3

I agree. I'm not as good looking or successful as Jack, and doubt that becoming so would make me less successful at dating rather than more successful. Jack is tripping.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:19 PM
19

Many buyers means the seller has power. Unless the buyers form a union or something
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:13 PM
1

I agree completely, but when you encounter people who have dozens, maybe hundreds, of options, with new ones coming at them every day, sometimes it does appear a little compulsive how they are always talking to multitudes of people. To reiterate though, you're never exclusive until you discuss it, so don't be surprised.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:31 AM
2

Kindness, high libido, I'd have to meditate on the third one
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:17 AM
2

A few things made it onto Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs besides sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 06:23 PM
3

By "internal" I didn't mean literally PiV, I meant psychological processes
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:39 PM
6

It's not what guys are talking about when they talk about receiving validation from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 08:21 PM
8

The validation is internal. It has nothing to do with other people seeing you with someone edit; not entirely internal, since your partner is a big part of it. But it doesn't involve third parties
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 07:41 PM
16

I thought validation was important? Validation from a partner isn't about status it's much much more basic than that. It's like do you deserve to be loved at all? are you a worthwhile person, valued to someone in this world? Or are you just a cog in the machine of commerce, and worth nothing more? That's the kind of validation we are talking about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:31 PM
6

The "on your arm" thing is absurd
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:29 PM
1

Well, the theory goes that the attractive live different lives. So much so that someone commented recently that when very attractive people see each other, it's often like expats in a foreign country recognizing one another from across a room, like good looks were a kind of homeland.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 08:57 PM
1

Sit on a park bench and the next 10 guys who walk by, ask yourself if you'd trade looks with them. Calculate percentage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:42 PM
2

Wow, I'm not used to seeing liberals who can actually critique their own party. And give credit where it's due to the other side (rather than simply demonize them). I've always voted blue and don't expect to ever change, but I feel these last elections were lost by dems as much as won by the other side
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 05:42 PM
2

Well, akshully, married women live longer and are happier! This according the the G.S.S. conducted in 2022. Lets all get married! edit for some AI factoids; General Social Survey (GSS) data shows that 41% of married women report being “very happy,” compared to 23% of never-married women. Only 8% of married women say they are “not too happy,” versus 17% of single women However, I'm a skeptic about marriage personally and have zero desire to tie the knot. So I've got no stake in the matter and adv…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 02:53 AM
3

Well, lets see. One way to answer this might be to survey people who have stayed together even when they wanted to divorce at one point. Are they glad they stuck it out? Or wish they'd ended it sooner? Another consideration; do kids really suffer from divorce? If both parents still stay involved in the kid's lives, I'm not sure they do. Maybe if they are very young. But plenty suffer when their parents stay together and are miserable doing so. A third line of inquiry might be those who have divo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:00 AM
1

In other words young men of the dominant culture in every country felt that their government and society was against them and it had nothing to do with the reality in that country. A case could be made for some of that though. In the U.S., boys are falling behind in school, supposedly. And it's a fact that women are starting to outpace men significantly in higher education in terms of degrees earned. So the question arises, are resources (scholarships, grants, other dedicated funding) being dist…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 04:13 PM
–

I think women set the bar for what they consider "average" for men a lot higher than it is in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 03:53 PM
–

I don't think you are listening to what guys are saying. They are saying they had no interest shown in them before getting jacked. That means they had the same height and face before, though adding muscle does change your frame somewhat.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 03:52 PM
1

I like the idea of 1 as a friend, but I wouldn't choose to be monogamous with someone who is 100% asexual
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 03:44 PM
1

Good point but I disagree. Old scripts are very much in place; almost unchanged for men. In fact possibly exaggerated to the point of caricature for men in some aspects. Scripts for women have barely been updated since whatever wave of feminism it was around the 60s or 70s
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:02 PM
3

What exactly is the "manosphere"? Is this supposed to be the male equivalent of feminism? Is it whatever anyone says it is?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 11:49 PM
2

I do agree with you in that when I see sad guys saying "i'm voting republican out of spite to women, or because I think somehow it's going to benefit men" I think those guys are delusional. And also of gross moral turpitude if they think hurting women benefits men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 10:05 PM
1

Why don't you be the change you want to see and go blow your horn on this issue all over the "manosphere" (is that even real? like, a place?). If you really think this is unfair to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:24 PM
6

You two should get a room
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:11 PM
–

I can see this argument. Attractive people get so much positive feedback just for existing that they might have more confidence, be less bitter, etc. But you also have to ask how much of this is the halo effect on steroids. I know I've glanced at an attractive woman ("attractive to me") and thought "she looks really nice" w/o knowing anything about her personality. And, my intuition often is correct; she does turn out to be nice. However, what my intuition is ignoring is the 100 other people I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 04:38 PM
–

I don't know about that. Wealthy people tend to be lower in agreeableness on the big 5 personality spectrum. Perhaps lower in neuroticism too though (more confident) and we tend to perceive that as attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 04:33 PM
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Plenty of women are hawks when it comes to war though. This sub seems to think women are all peace loving and men all war mongering. I'm old enough to have attended some protests back when the gulf war was starting, and there were plenty of women on the pro war side, and they let you know what they thought of you if you opposed intervention ("pussy", "chickenshit", etc). However with things like Nazi Germany, it is hard not to look at them and not think the very worst ideas, along with a plan to…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 10:10 PM
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Don't let your dreams stay dreams. Start with a bunch of women housemates and see how it goes. Do you have a female partner? (sorry if I missed that detail if given prior). But really, my idea of no one bigger than me would work ... for me. I guess we all have our private little ideas of utopia.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 05:55 PM
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Why not make a woman's commune then?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 05:42 PM
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Ah, the old "genocide now for a more peaceful world!" theory! It's timeless. There have been women's communes. The movement was so popular in Oregon in the 70s that a section of the interstate was nicknamed "The Amazon Highway". Rural land was very cheap, and one gigantic county had no zoning restrictions at that time. The women reported many of the same power struggles as strait society. However, they also reported feeling generally safer just walking around at night. I'm not sure if the safety…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 05:32 PM
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#5 was a twist I didn't see coming. Overall do you think the all girl experience is preferable to coed? Coed just adding another type of potential bully to the mix. I recall a bunch of articles years ago saying girls learned better in all girl environments. Or maybe it was that they were more confident. Or maybe it was boys. I only read the headlines.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 05:27 PM
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A beautiful, calm, friendly, clean woman can carry an automatic weapon to put these shitheads to jail, why not Pure gold
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 05:23 PM
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Agree that males compete more. I'm not convinced that male competition isn't nurture more than nature though. From a very young age, guys in my culture knew you had to make something of yourself, and you'd have to do it on your own. The spirit of cooperation was never emphasized by comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 05:21 PM
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Yeah, I was with OP but disagree with the examples. maybe the hairy one,
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 09:42 PM
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It's almost impossible to separate them cleanly. Today's liberators are (very likely) tomorrow's oppressors. It's a project that is never finished because of the nature of power and the fact that power and freedom are intertwined to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 04:19 PM
11

Women are by no means the communicators they think they are. Or probably more likely, they think men are trained to just be assertive and confident, and that means women shouldn't have to communicate anything because they guy will just make a move if he has any inclination to. That's FALSE by the way, ladies. Just like the idea that guys are always going to know if a woman is interested. I know a couple who were together for 10 years and both had the same weird kinky fantasies, but neither told …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 04:04 PM
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While I agree that women participate to the degree that they conceive that it will benefit them, power is always about preserving power in the hands of the few. While there are no clean lines of who created what, since both genders invested in it, men often enjoyed more power and freedom, and power corrupts almost invariably. The fact that some women attempt to absolve themselves completely is surprising. It is like a huge corporation where middle management promotes the interests of ownership, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 03:55 PM
2

Very true. Guys should be keeping this in mind when they make commitments. She's only there because she wants to be, and there may come a time when she no longer wants to be. Don't be that guy who's all "omiga, what happened?" if (when?) she pulls the plug. And of course, ladies, the same advice applies to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 09:21 PM
2

It does make me wonder when women post thinking they have to dress up to attract a man. Or posts from women that ask "do men really like small boobs?" To men, unless you are in an extremely macho culture or mindset, the answer is obviously yes. What is odd is how surprised women are by this. Take another example; older women puzzling over much younger men contacting them on dating apps. It makes one wonder if women can't imagine the variety of attraction that men have because they don't have it …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:26 PM
24

https://np.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1l9w64y/it_hurts/ This link from a transman who experienced the difference between socialization as a female and a male says a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:39 PM
2

My contention is that in modern times the weirdos just have no way of meeting one another, or more precisely, no real way to get to know one another and let those sparkling, but somewhat hidden, personalities shine through. Otherwise, in a highly social environment (where a lot of people get to know one another) you would see people pairing up with ~somewhat~ more variety.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:26 PM
2

That's fair enough. I could see either person wanting to take a break to recalibrate their emotions or something. But "we can never be friends even" seems over the top.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 11:42 PM
2

I mean if the guy professes feels and the woman gets offended and ends the friendship. Are... you being deliberately obtuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 08:04 PM
6

So is it also betrayal if the woman in this hypothetical ends the friendship?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 05:47 PM
4

If you are in college or are very social, or have an active social circle (not just the same 3-4 people), then I would tend to agree. And average guy will do ok. After you get beyond the partying/clubbing age, it gets a little tougher. My main complaint as an average guy is it's too hard to meet new people. If you're in college, ok. But post college, "meet ups" and whatnot really aren't it. Environment is everything. I was in a social work field for a while that had a lot of coworkers and everyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 05:36 PM
1

Well, women commonly report being harassed since preteenhood, so you're sometimes reluctant to join that cadre of men who approach her based on just her looks, given also that you are probably the 10th guy to do so recently. And usually her body language will not be oriented towards you or anything like giving an "invitation to chat" vibe. If it seems like we have something in common I might say hi but even then, experience often is that she doesn't want randos striking up conversation, so it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 04:18 PM
1

What do you interpret as OP's solution?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 03:41 PM
13

I agree but there are some exceptions. Commitment involves giving up some freedom for example. But the commitment should be freely chosen. Even so, one should be free to change one's mind, though you would hope that a good faith effort had been made before doing so. Otherwise, taking on the commitment could be considered misleading as to what one's intentions really were. It can get complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 07:48 PM
4

So you admit we have gone too far then We will always go too far. Always. With any new idea some people will take it to it's most absurd extreme. It's how we learn course correction. But the freedoms we have in forming relationships now are responses to real problems we had back then. They didn't just arise in a vacuum.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 06:09 PM
3

I go alone to coffee shops all the time. It's not really a mingling type of space. Everybody is doing their own thing and it doesn't look like they want to be interrupted. If there's another regular that's a guy I'll sometimes end up getting to know them over the course of weeks or months. Never a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 04:35 PM
24

Totes disagree. You are romanticizing the past so hard it's almost pornographic. Freedom is better. Are there a few kinks to work out along the way? Sure. I also think people are swinging a little too hard the other way and considering almost any commitment as oppressive, or thinking their partner should be (nearly) perfect or they're out, etc. But that's what readjustment is, always trying to find the balance point between too much and too little.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 03:56 PM
3

Because of the reasons mentioned in OP, but omitted in replies; orgasm gap in particular being a popular topic, often pointed to by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 09:21 PM
5

The topics are interesting, and this is one of the few subs that allows people from both sides of the aisle to blurt at will. What I think about some of these issues may be evolving, slowly. Also to encourage those who aren't completely polarized.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 09:12 PM
3

The simple minded are favored by God. For some people, just sticking it in = good sex. Their sexual repertoire consists of maybe 2 things, but that's all they need to feel good.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:21 PM
1

Have to agree. When women disagree with one another it's usually at least moderately respectful. When men disagree with other men it's often more like an attack on the guy's right to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:12 PM
5

I can see how the conservative background can warp you. I'm a guy and grew up in a sexually repressive atmosphere, where any interest in sex was shamed, sex was portrayed as "dirty" and men interested in dirty things were pigs. It definitely was a bit of a setback to overcome once I got to dating age. And the general culture at the time seemed to mirror those viewpoints, even in more liberal places. With algorithms being what they are, you might not receive much messaging counter to that which y…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 04:44 PM
2

Thank you. I hate when the most wacky assed sexist premises are tossed out in this group and everyone plays along like they actually had some grip on reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 04:00 PM
2

I will disagree just because men have to be the active role, and they have to pretend that they know what they are doing. And that makes them worse. Actually nobody knows what they are doing, but women at least know if they are lubricated enough for sex. Nobody really tells men that they should be aware of that when they are first starting out. And women won't clue them in when it's not happening. This is the level we are at, Lovers. So that makes men worse just in the amount of discomfort they …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 07:22 PM
1

Yeah, nope. Key takeaway: don't blame another person if you don't like their sexual performance and you aren't willing to try communication. I've had some failures of communication, it's not easy or intuitive with most people unless they are very welcoming of those kinds of questions or feedback. Many (most?) people are not. If it isn't to my liking I don't blame the other person, I chalk it up to, occasionally communication incompatibility, but occasionally also sexual incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 06:07 PM
1

I think it's a normie problem for people who want to have casual sex but then are disappointed in it somehow. It's like wanting fast food to be filet mignon. People who are competent adults can communicate their sexual needs to their partners, unless they are so utterly square that a sex toy triggers an existential crisis. I also think this is a remnant of the Women are Wonderful affect, and accept my several kneejerk downvotes accordingly. Because sex with women is not automatically magical. In…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 03:38 PM
5

relationships are fun when they work. 2. People are manipulated by culture to fit themselves into fairly traditional relationship models and gender stereotypes. Women are perhaps shaking off some of that old mythology that basically puts relationships on a pedestal. Men are far behind in that regard. Men haven't worked on finding alternatives means of having rewarding lives that decenters women as much as vise versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 03:14 PM
1

I live in a very liberal place now, and women do seem to adore feminine guys, like at work. However, I wonder if it's more that they feel safe with those guys, like there's no sexual tension at all, rather than there's some attraction/undercurrent going on. Could be wrong. I do know a few non-masculine (though not really feminine either) guys from college who did well dating, but they were brilliant in some way, some artistic, some just conversationally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:42 PM
7

im a femboy and women think it's a breath of fresh air That's good, but does it extend to women wanting to date you? And do you think it's relative to where you live, ie, you might be in a very liberal bubble, and this isn't necessarily the case in most other parts of the world? I can tell you I grew up in a very conservative area and conformity to stereotypical masculine behavior was socially policed heavily; mostly by men, but any deviation certainly was not rewarded by women either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:18 PM
3

dysfunctional wheel gets replaced. I applaud people's freedom to choose if they don't want a dysfunctional partner/wheel. That metaphor also could apply directly to the topic of relationships. Many women say they are decentering men and not making relationships a priority, because they find them (or men) dysfunctional (or at least not desirable for women). It sounds like men are struggling with that concept as a point of view to adopt for themselves, but they may be vaguely starting to entertain…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 03:11 PM
8

Squeaky wheel gets the grease. Women whined about gender stereotypes that were placed on them and things changed. Whining isn't a bad strategy when you think something is askew, or if you think something is unfair, and you don't have power to change it as an individual. There are larger ramifications for relationships in these discussions. Like; what can one reasonably expect from a relationship? Are relationships worth the trouble or the risk? Are they important milestones in one's life or not,…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 02:23 AM
1

My guess would be that a lot of those guys are not social enough. They aren't extroverts. If your charms and assets aren't obvious, you have to meet a lot more people until one of them sees something valuable in you. Assuming you are more or less average otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 10:57 PM
8

Just replying to the headline; being nice is nice, but not enough. We live in a world where you need to attract attention somehow, and it's getting harder as attention becomes more limited and we all become more jaded. It's kinda like how people say they hate small talk. Small talk is nice. It's often an invitation to improvise a conversation that can possibly veer into deeper stuff. But people often think they are too deep to talk about the weather or the pastries. They want to be engaged right…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:13 PM
1

Aw, thanks for internet caring!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 10:59 PM
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They aren't that average. I've known a surprising number of women who have dated rich guys just to see what it was like. And I don't blame them, because it was good, at least for a while. The rich are different from us. Women I know typically have dated exceptionally popular guys (best tip I can give average men; live with an above average man if you must have roommates), at least at some point. Generally these guys are popular because they have some niche subculture skills or a position like bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 05:26 PM
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Romance seems to have taken a beating recently. It could just be that I'm old and jaded, but it seems like in general the only romantics anymore are a little scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 04:35 PM
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Break away from the herds or you’ll be surprised to find that the consequences have nothing to do with being single. I don't get it. What consequences? Rest of your post it interesting, but come on now; was this really written by a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:56 PM
3

Both things can be true. The masculine stereotypes are still attractive to enough women that they are almost prerequisites to dating, with the possible exception being if you're a nerd with a big enough social circle. This is why women will stab you before they think women should be asking guys out. But there is some variance in attraction for sure. We all know that couple where we wonder what she sees in him. So that's evidence of variability. On the other hand, I had a roommate who got in rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 07:45 PM
1

Beats me. But that's the fear, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:36 PM
2

I'll agree somewhat. As a guy,, you probably are going to have to have something that stands out. You can't just be average. And the bar for that seems to have gotten higher (everybody's a jaded critic now). However, there is still a variable of random compatibility in play. It's a little like hitting the lottery, but once in a while you do meet that someone who just gets whatever it is you have going on, even though most other people take zero interest. The problem is you have to meet several h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:06 PM
7

I think the logic is as follows: "Western birthrates plummet. Oh no! We better have open boarder immigration policy to replace the number of tax payers funding stuff. Oh no! The immigrants are ultra conservative and are voting accordingly!" Maybe? So the "natural selection" as applied to conservative culture would be that ultra conservatives value having as many kids as possible while the liberal west's population declines. OP's claim is not necessarily about the inherent brutality of men, since…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 04:38 PM
2

That's one factor, but the others are legit too. They don't contradict each other. I'm going to disagree a little with your emphasis and timeline. There were plenty of women dating for the fun of it back then, though maybe the biological clock ticked a little louder because of the pressure you mention. The new trend of "decentering men" is a real thing too though, sometimes admirably (like when it allows for greater freedom of choice), sometime deplorably (when it's just more stereotyping and sc…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 06:53 PM
2

Hair is a weird one. An expensive haircut can be awful. I just want a fade and longer in the front, so even the old time barbers (who do like 6 different cuts total) can do that, usually. I'm a guy with a very average face, and whether I'm having a good or bad hair day affects how people treat me way, way more than it should. It's actually weird as fuck, but there you go.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 02:01 AM
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yeah it's interesting how the advice is 180° different depending on gender
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 04:59 AM
2

It's mainly (but not only) about just being able to have a conversation in order to get to know someone. For men, you have to be over the top in some way. Exceptional in some manner. If I'm sending someone a message on OLD, it has to be witty or funny or unique. It can't just be normal. For a woman the bar to entry to be considered as a potential partner, or just someone worth getting to know, is much lower. <<< If you are in denial about that, we have nothing further to discuss. In a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:45 PM
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Yes. Since they were 12.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:40 PM
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I think both pills give essentially the same advice in terms of male self improvement. Not sure what a good core curriculum would be beyond what OP mentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:36 PM
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Hear hear! I've always said there should be a PPD bootcamp for sad men who can't muster the energy self discipline to do these things. The question is would blue pill or red pill run it? Probably both.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:15 PM
1

Men don't put beauty standards on you. You claim to do that "for yourself". Additionally you note that men pursue you even when you're at the laundromat in sweatpants. A lot of this stuff goes in the category of "all the things I do for you (that you never asked for and don't actually want)" As far as cooking and cleaning goes, I prefer that you don't, but I would never live with a partner, so the point is sorta moot. Not sure if folks know this, but you can be in a relationship without moving i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:41 AM
1

Men are conditioned practically from the time they can walk to be more isolated (we call it being independent or nowadays add 'stoic'). This continues throughout life; men are less welcomed to things in general. "Oh wow here comes a single man, awesome!", said no one ever. Guys aren't completely oblivious to that and because habituated to exclusion on some levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:18 PM
1

like the redpill falls into the same classic misogynistic trap of “oh equality? So I can hit you now?” You were doing so good until the last paragraph. then you had to manufacture the above. Wtf is that? that's not rp at all, you fell off the rails into sensationalism. There's plenty to criticize w/o having to resort to that
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:08 PM
1

I agree with your "she's not yours" section, but strongly disagree with your "it's just your turn" section. The latter does start to sound psychopathic and morally vacuous while the first part is simply observations about human beings and their tendency to follow their dreams rather than yours. The truth seems to be that people's willingness to commit to a relationship through thick and thin seems to vary from time to time and place to place. The myth that women are more loyal and cheat less is …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:01 PM
1

It's far better to come up with some goofy but funny quip and ask that, and copy and paste it to any interesting profile, rather than try to craft an individualized message based on their profile content, even though women claim that's what they value. Be funny if possible, doesn't matter how relevant you are. And of course, be attractive.. enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 04:16 PM
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I’ve actually never heard an old man who was married warning men not to marry Because it would be interpreted as misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:30 AM
1

Why? There is no possible logic to fortify this thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 02:34 AM
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Women get that from their girlfriends or pets maybe?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 02:27 AM
1

I agree with you on some things, probably. for example, I think it's worth noting that in subs with older women, when they are asked if they would marry again if they had it to do over, the upvoted answers always seem to be "heck no" I'm just not sure that women dating homely men is rising to the epidemic proportions that you assert.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:48 PM
3

Look for a guy who's into outdoorsy stuff, is pleasant to be with, is interesting, is kind, looks good enough, and has the same kinks. Get to know the person slowly to see if all that stuff is in place.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 07:38 PM
1

I think conservative women have their share of complaints as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 02:31 PM
2

What percentage of women do you think are competing for the attention of broke abusive fattys? OP seems based on pure fantasy/hallucination/hardcore social media addiction. Or they could be from a more conservative, traditional place? But I'm thinking more likely the former, since they are calling guys "dusties"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 02:16 PM
3

There's some truth in what you say, but you carry it to an extreme and that's why it goes off the rails. Everyone seems to do that these days. No one ever doubts themselves. Is it just a carry over from how engagement works on the internet? I digress. I've been in a few relationships, and had a few odd dalliances that were more than ONS but not quite full blown relationships. They were all great. The problem? They are so painfully extremely rare. That, to me, points out as much a defect in the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 02:46 PM
3

I've heard it both ways. Some women want to cling to their youthful looks as they start to fade. Others express relief to be out of the rat-race of romance and dating (and the male gaze). Men are famous for having mid-life crises, but I think women have them too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:28 PM
5

That's a good point. Also, OP probably thinks "old" is 35
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 10:26 PM
10

Let the healing begin
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:21 PM
2

I agree. But here's an issue; women often want things their way. Then when the guy capitulates to that women feel they are doing all the emotional labor (and often domestic labor). This is a large part of why I will never live with a partner again. I don't need you to do any of that stuff, I'm perfectly capable on my own. And I especially don't need you insisting on taking it over and then resenting me for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:19 PM
6

To claim that all Chads are bad is a strawman. Most are just fun to be around. Not just because they are usually attractive; they usually are pretty confident and humorous and energetic extroverts. If they have a common flaw it's that they tend to be less inclined to be monogamous and less inclined to value affection or get emotionally attached. And as all have pointed out: the reward for being nice is merely being courteous to in return but nothing beyond that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 03:59 PM
5

surprised you have heard that one. Pretty common here, and a smattering of other subs. I agree with you; take it slow and get to know the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 02:16 AM
3

How do you handle the number one objection I see from women online; that if the woman approaches, the guy will say "yes" even if he isn't that into her. He'll say yes anyway because Men Are Desperate (or some variation on that theme), so this is like a windfall woman falling into his lap.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 10:05 PM
2

It's crazy how some women seem to negotiate dating effortlessly and other women seem completely helpless. And the former don't seem able to help the latter
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 10:03 PM
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Here's the thing. Most of us are romantic idiots. We think we are going to find Prince or Princess Charming and live in cosmic bliss 4ever. O shur, we'll work at it now and then. But mostly it'll be easy because that's how great they are and how well matched we'll be. Then we grow up and start meeting the actual adults we have to choose from. It's a reality check for many of us. But the thing is, reality isn't so bad. It's maybe not the stuff we dreamt of all the time. Or much of the time. But t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:57 AM
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Is this an analogy for something else?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:41 PM
3

People should say it to women. But women don't usually use the rationale that they have to spread their genes. That's a thing you hear mostly from the dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 05:52 PM
15

Now there is a romantic lie that you have decided to keep believing in.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:45 PM
1

Agree, and to the replies saying "It's biology" ; it isn't biology. Holy crap people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:42 PM
-1

Yes. If other people are doing stupid shit that is ultimately harmful. Like having kids w/o really wanting them or being in any way prepared to raise them properly, but just doing it because that's what is culturally expected, or through some half-assed reasoning about spreading your genes. If that's you --- and it's many, many people --- then stop it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:32 PM
-2

That isn't how it works either though. You have no urge to procreate. You have an urge to have sex. Don't get them confused because they are not the same. Evidence for this claim: the zillions of high libido people who have no urge to procreate. edti; downvoters, if you can't grasp something this simple or if you are that easily triggered, please consider not procreating.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:28 PM
1

it's not really about fighting. No, but you can see it from here. I was using 'fighting' more metaphorically
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 04:05 PM
1

Good question. I think a lot of women's feelings, and ideals, about men come from traditional stereotypes about masculinity. Even with the new critique of "toxic masculinity", culture doesn't want to change masculine stereotypes, it just wants the worst versions of it to be toned down a little bit. So one stereotype is that men must fight to achieve what they want, in fact that is what gives their existence meaning; competing and winning and fucking grinding hellyeah, until they win admiration a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 03:05 PM
6

Are you not attracted to top tier women? No. I can find model-tier women attractive but I have so little chance with them that they aren't even in the picture. It would literally be like being infatuated with a celebrity or worse, a comic book character.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 02:55 PM
2

I think there's something to that, but don't buy in to a lot of the examples you gave. The old Jungians used to say man sought out his anima; some feminine qualities that the repressed in himself and sought out in women. Men to seem to be perpetually seeking. They form fraternal orders, join gangs, feel more bonded with others by military experience or on sports teams. Women value these experiences as well, but with men it seems like they are seeking a core identity outside of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 10:29 PM
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I'm not really seeing late bloomers feeling entitled to women in any way. I'm not sure where you're getting that from. Late bloomers usually haven't felt entitled to much of anything, so once they become marginally functional in society at large I don't think that changes. Targeting young people? Again, not sure what this means. It's just not resonating that some shy dude finally crawls out of his shell and then thinks he should have an age gap relationship, and now, despite just learning social…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 02:24 PM
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While leagues are a thing, I think it's more a question of finding someone you are actually compatible with, and a person's "league" is - in real life, rather than online - wider than you think. This is why average guys do better dating someone from work, school, or in their social circle (if they have an absurdly large social circle), but crash and burn online. Online leagues are more strict like you say. Why? God only knows. And it could be that the online experience is beginning to shape the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:49 PM
4

I tend to agree. To call it loneliness when you mean sexlessness or lack of intimate relationship, seems unnecessarily euphemistic. On the other hand though, it does suck to not have intimate relationships - or sex - available to you, like, ever. That is it's own problem, though perhaps another name would be better. Frankly, some of the best moments of my life have been sexual. When you say that, many say "how sad for you". I say how sad for you if you've never experienced that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:13 AM
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Men call out other men. It's a little bit a part of why there is a "male loneliness epidemic" ; men are maybe too eager to see other men as degenerate losers, whereas women will legitimize other women's feelings first before they call them into question --- and may well end up skipping that part. I used to call out the male stereotypes that men propagate more often, but you get tired of writing the same thing over and over, day in and day out. The tide of bullshit is never ending.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 04:41 PM
2

That's a little too specific to be very useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 03:33 AM
61

I’m not saying “attractive successful guys who get lots of women don’t exist” That's all Chad is. Or has the definition become something autistically more specific than this?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 01:56 AM
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It's obvious even on a micro scale. I have friends in bands and they say the difference between before playing and after is noticeable every time. Before, they are ignored and avoided, after they are treated like humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:48 AM
0

Not for these upright citizens! But yeah, I tend to agree. As I posted last time, if you are a mid guy and you're dating women who are as deeply flawed as you are, there's going to be some miss-steps. People are human. It's really nothing the normies don't also do, they just are in denial about it. It is nice that people can take time out from the gender wars to come together on this one subject though. Really makes me a believer in people.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 09:18 PM
1

I hated school and couldn't wait to get out. However, I also met a couple of my oldest and best friends there. So it worked as a "third space". When you're a kid, making friends is easy. Your best friend is likely to be the kid your age who lives closest. And you just say "wanna play, hang out, whatever?" But well into adulthood there are layers of complexity added that make simple introductions impossible, and there is no third space to make those introductions for you. The compulsory nature of…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 04:17 PM
3

I think there was a time (a couple or three generations ago maybe?) when people were more practical about relationships and how much work they took. The fact that their spouse (man or woman) worked hard was enough to make them heroes. Now there seems to be no appreciation for those things, and no common goal. Individual fulfillment is not considered to be found within the family unit. Unless conditions are perfect, like a 50s dream of domestic bliss. I'm not sure how we got so impractical, but w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 12:00 AM
4

Why is she with those dudes then, if she's not really into them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 04:17 PM
5

I think you can tell if you have chemistry in the process of getting to know someone though. I think you're extremely misinterpreting guys willingness to date an average person. It isn't through desperation, it's actually most often because they find that person to have potential. The nightmarish scenarios you posit (like the weird websites) are possible but an extreme. Also, no thank you on the chase part. Maybe if a man gets women super easily then he doesn't care about any particular one. Mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 03:58 PM
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women run a huge risk of being used as a placeholder chick when they approach men because men will fuck women they even hate if she throws herself into his lap. Nonsense. The guy who approaches you is probably more likely to be looking to use you because that's what game is. You can vet ( get to know a person) just as easily regardless of who says "hi" first. This is just an excuse to be passive. It's also antifeminist I might add because it's the opposite of empowering. It's like trying to crea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 03:30 PM
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I think there's a lot of women who still underestimate themselves. I remember telling my first girlfriend "you have no idea how gorgeous you are" and she looked at me kind of shocked. She had a little bit of an acne issue and I think she let that disqualify her from being attractive. I think women can focus on the negative like that and underestimate themselves. You see in those "rate me" subs where very attractive women don't know that they are attractive. They tend to be younger, true, but I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 08:38 PM
1

I am just going to get to the brass tax most men only get like one chance at love these days. Meanwhile it's becoming more common for women to date rotiationally or have a roster. Full disclosure I did this. I appreciate your candor here. You got a lotta balls. And you make a good point about the "take it or leave it" nature of dating for many average men. A clue for men: take women off the pedestal for once and realize they cheat just as much as men do, possibly more these days since they have …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 03:06 PM
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From my perspective it can depend on whether you had a loving environment growing up. If your parents, extended family, etc, were hit or miss in this regard you might seek the experience of love elsewhere like it was a holy grail. If you received a lot of love and support, early and ongoing, you might not feel it that imperative that you find some stranger to love out in the world somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 04:10 PM
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Isn't that what we have now? Except for the "buying more exposure" part? Otherwise, I'm pretty sure the apps are tracking how many likes users get. Under your proposal won't guys just continue to like most women and women only like a few guys? I guess the values thing could be taken into consideration. But really; I tried OkCupid, which is supposed to allow you to weight values and such. I guess it does show me all liberals, but other than that there's no real matching going on; no actual calibr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 01:29 AM
5

Just being in a new environment can work wonders. I get zero attention at home but when I visited a friend in another state I was "fresh meat" (sort of) in his social circle. It helped that he actually had a decent size social circle. Same with guys with English accents who visit my part of the U.S., women often are smitten with that accent (I don't know all the varieties of English accent; maybe some more than others) right off the bat.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 11:31 PM
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There is a tendency for everyone to do both: attribute positive characteristics to the attractive, and negative characteristics to the less attractive. I'm a guy and I'm certainly guilty of thinking a woman must be a good person because she "looks so nice" (read: she's cute in a way that particularly appeals to me). One difference is I know I'm doing it and try to fact check my assumptions, but the bias is still there.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 05:37 PM
1

I don't subscribe to any philosophy of any color presented here, but I do believe in certain aspects of each. But I think they all get most things wrong by being dogmatic about it. It's like people need a dogma and just are terrified if they can't get all the answers in one place. Why? Even the so called "scientists" with evo psyche. In real life I'd adjust to whom I'm talking to. Most people have zero interest in your gender analysis anyway, so it doesn't come up. I've never been interested in …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 03:25 PM
1

I think so, because I'm not overly impressed by anything men do. Especially not the super cheesy banter that people like, that seems like bad 60's movie dialog. That, and I can recognize and appreciate when anyone manifests some thoughtfulness or makes an effort to make something good/ better. And I can appreciate self disclosure, and don't consider a modicum (this can often be balanced by appreciation and gratitude for the privilege one has) of self deprecation a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 03:09 PM
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You should define what 'habitus' means in this context. A quick look up online isn't likely to be adequate to define terms as you are using them here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 03:55 PM
7

I really disagree there. Lots of guys have weird complexes and fears, they're just probably 100% ignorant of it. If you're saying guys don't live and swim in their emotions and act them out as much in order to process them, I'd agree there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 07:56 PM
11

Going our own way means not caring for women and voting in a way which benefit u even it it harms women Where did you hallucinate this pure fucking horseshit?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 03:04 PM
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I've seen a lot of these "down is up" blue pill takes lately. Not sure what's going on
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:52 PM
2

Yup! There are some evolutionary biologists who think humans are more like bonobos (where both sexes are promiscuous) rather than other apes. Adjacent to this is the "sperm competition" theory; that some social group structures allow for women to mate with many men (and let this fuel your nightmares, guys; women desire to mate with many men), and may the best sperm win. The suggest the shape of the head of the human penis is designed to remove other male's sperm (bit of a stretch perhaps, but ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 09:06 PM
5

I oversimplified it but yeah. Maybe 1 is supposed to be a sultry pose? But it sort of looks more like a "I'm emotionally complex" pose that conveys more than it intends regarding the kind of complexity. By contrast 2 looks a little lighter, maybe even silly, and fun. These are just impressions but people make judgments based on impressions all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 03:19 PM
17

1 isn't smiling, 2 is (I think)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 03:04 PM
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One problem is that men are still stuck in a romantic fantasy that women have largely liberated themselves from. Now, there still are some "traditional family values" types who feel like the marriage vow is actually sacred, in such a way that to actually honor the other person is a high priority for them on a continuous basis. But most people don't remotely have the skills or perseverance to do that (except possibly during the honeymoon period). Aside from that, values have changed, and relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 02:30 PM
1

Well yeah, those are some pretty extreme examples you give. The scope of consent is wider than when one party is literally incapacitated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 11:13 PM
5

I've date before and after swipe apps became normalized. It was better before.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 10:01 PM
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But you must admit that it's interesting that the onus for constantly checking for ongoing enthusiastic consent falls to the man nearly 100% of the time. Unless maybe he's inebriated or something, we never question whether a woman bothered to obtain verbal, ongoing enthusiastic consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 03:09 PM
2

I agree with the terminology being awkward. "Patriarchy" means men hold the power, goods are passed down patrilineally, etc. It never was about gender roles specifically and to try and redefine it to include prescribed, traditional ideals of femininity and masculinity is stretching it too thin. But it's more succinct than saying "traditional gender roles".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 03:37 AM
1

I mean, why the fuck else would you go to coldplay other than to appease a woman? Good point
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:52 PM
14

It doesn't really work like that. I tried a poly thing for a bit. Not very many women are interested in me at the best of times, when attempting to explain that "I'm in a open-poly-whatnot relationship" that number effectively drops to zero. Negative numbers, if possible. If you're a guy. An average guy. If you're a woman you probably won't have much problem finding a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:49 PM
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I think sex is often tied up with emotional states that men don't get to experience any other way. Even pretty cheap sex is still unique enough that it feels like an event on some level that feels deeper then just sex. If it was just sex, we'd all just masturbate and be fine with it, as women often claim to be. In order to form a more strong family unit, women were manipulated economically, men were manipulated emotionally. That is, women were told "you will be materially dependent on your husba…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 02:54 PM
4

The problem for women is that they think their approach (read: non approach) to dating is natural and should attract "REAL MEN", when really they are effectively roping the psychopaths out of the herd then wondering why men suck so much. To give an example, before dating apps became respectable I recall a woman posting on a forum like this one that she got dressed up every weekend and went to her city's local slightly upscale yuppie bar on the edge of the financial district, sat at the bar and g…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 02:36 PM
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It could be that people whose personalities are well adapted for and oriented towards long term monogamy pair up early. The rest flail about, trying to find a "close enough" match. But their suite of neuroses means they have to search harder for the rare person whose neuroses will match or compliment their own
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:39 PM
2

Yeah, no, they don't. Those are extremely not normal "vanilla" things that men do "all the time".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:59 PM
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men do it all the time in vanilla spaces No they don't. What kind of dystopian fantasy world is this sub positing actually exists?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:44 AM
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No they don't. Men care if their partner is into it. Try getting to know some men in real life someday maybe
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 04:16 PM
2

Like when the doctor asks you what's up and you have 3 things you'd like to ask but in that moment your mind goes blank. List might not be a bad idea
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:54 AM
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Because men are viewed in posts like these as simply a means to an end. As such, they are more or less disposable once they've served their function. In fact, having them around past their usefulness is often viewed as a major imposition.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:24 PM
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Agree. I like when she has a kinky past as long as her partners were thoughtfully and carefully chosen.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:50 PM
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Interesting idea, problem is; most dating profiles are pretty generic. Like Hallmark cards. There's very little to go on in terms of decision making. And if you swipe left they are gone forever. How do you know enough about that person to make that decision? You don't. And dating isn't a "wait til you find the "heck yeah!" profiles!" because.. there usually aren't any. Maybe someone should design an app with a dating AI that will make brutally frank profiles of the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 05:15 PM
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This is what I mean by "given a chance". Not dating, just less snap judgements. Actually deciding whether the person is interesting or not, in some cases. And: She can still date guys based on looks, recognizing that looks alone can be interesting. Nobody is saying that should never happen. Women are kind of in a bind because they have to be what is perceived as rude because of the sheer volume of attention (much of it negative) they often receive. If I were a woman, I'd be incredibly selective …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 04:56 PM
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Asking a man out doesn’t equate to sex Yeah, how are these women approaching? Approaching just means being the one to say "hi" (if in person- online "hi" means less than nothing). It's just an excuse why they shouldn't do something they are too scared to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 03:24 PM
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Exactly, that argument makes no sense. The odds are probably better that the guy approaching is just looking to hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 03:22 PM
1

I agree. I think men are getting better at supporting one another as societal roles shift and we realize that putting all our eggs into the basket of "I'll find love in a relationship with a woman and that's all I'll ever need", rather than trying to build a community or social network, is a major gamble and not the wisest choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:43 PM
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Right, but women have this support system (flawed as it may sometimes be) among other women somewhat built in, men don't so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:40 PM
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Maybe I'm just out of touch, i dunno. You're not out of touch, you just have zero empathy. Questions like this are part of what you ask about; the incredulity that men could ever have any problems other than what to do next with all their male privilege. I've worked in a female dominated AFSCME (union for federal, state, county, city, etc workers) job for a long time. The anti-male sentiment used to be more or less out in the open back in the day. I had a new female manager threaten to fire me. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:16 PM
2

Total disagree. 1st, you're twisting the definition of cuckold there I believe, since the biological definition involves raising other's kids as one's own "unknowingly". Presumably Chopin knew they weren't his, but I will defer to others on this point. The level of Chopin scholarship in this sub is surprisingly high. Second, having kids in order to make yourself feel like a winner is pathetisad. It is using others (your kids) to achieve your own ego stroking to a grotesque degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 09:44 PM
3

Taking care of others (family, kids of friends) sounds like a noble thing to me. Bizarre take that this is "loser" behavior to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 02:51 PM
2

Careful tho! Chads come in many flavors, so you still have to vet. Some naive women may mistake crude machismo for a (somewhat) mature masculinity (one where the guy is at least trying). One downside to dating the very attractive; they may not value what they have because they get it in such abundance that it can feel like empty calories. Not that the desperate and lonely don't have the full suite of neuroses. But no one's perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:49 PM
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I think there might be some truth to it though. There are potential upsides and downsides to dating the extremely attractive. One upside is they may have better personalities because they've received more love in their life at nearly every juncture. Just a much higher level of positive regard at baseline makes a huge difference in the experience of life in terms of positivity or negativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:37 PM
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"Well guess what? I dated an ugly uber nerd and he turned out to be more horrible than any random Chad, so you might as well date for looks because then at least you'll get something out of it" - women in this thread probably
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 07:37 PM
2

There are several markets though. Dating apps are one. Real life is another. And there are several nested within real life. For example, some people date really well when in school but fall off a cliff after leaving that environment. I once had one of those entry level jobs where there are tons of people all around the same age, and everyone was dating everyone else and hanging out together socially. That is a different "market" than the one I have now, which is a dry office environment with peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 05:03 PM
1

I get it but it is weird. Apps are amazing in how they homogenize people. It's like every bit of personality is erased until you are left with the most boring, generic novel in the universe. This is why so many women rely on the guy having text game. If you aren't witty with the one liners (and glued to your phone more or less) you are doubly screwed (assuming your looks weren't enough to render you some grace points in the form of a "golden halo"). But it does seem like going to a supermarket; …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:21 PM
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I mean, there isn't going to be much sympathy possible without some basic understanding and the old stereotypes don't permit much nuance for understanding. Or, perhaps better, there can't be sympathy with complete misinformation (like that any single guy in this day and age is utterly socially incompetent, has poor hygiene, is covered in Dorito dust, etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 09:40 PM
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There is a 'just world' perception that is hard to get around that successful, well adjusted men are successful at dating, while guys who have personality defects are not successful, and that that is how it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:30 PM
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It's not hard to imagine many possible answers. For one, the sexist assumption that men love to chase women, that men just go for whatever they want, that as a woman you never have to learn to be proactive in your dating life, that if a man likes you you'll know, apex fallacy, etc etc. These are all mistaken beliefs that stem from lack of understanding of what it's like to date as an average guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:27 PM
1

name the part that feels hardest for you Don’t meet new people in a place where conversation with strangers is encouraged. I’ve noticed some men say they think it’s unfair that they’re expected to be the ones to initiate. If that’s something you feel, I’d really like to understand your side of it more. What part of that expectation feels heavy or disheartening? It’s mainly only unfair when someone criticizes and harshly judges others for not doing something they are unwilling to do themselves. Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 03:55 PM
2

Yeah, I think "confidence" , subconsciously, is an attraction to status. My friends who were in bands would say that the first half hour after they got off stage was the best time to mingle in the bar. Women who would just stare at you blankly before would now acknowledge you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 03:37 AM
1

Lots of guys would like to know more about personality too. When I look at profiles on apps I have no idea who that person is, usually. Some apps limit the number of characters you can use in your profile, as though less is more. One problem; dating apps are superficial. Internet forums have wide ranging topics, but they aren't local and the participants are anonymous. There are local groups on forums, but those tend to be only concerned with public matters, like local politics, rather than pers…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 11:41 PM
3

Good points. There isn't a female Grindr (that I know of). What would a dating app that catered to the female gaze look like? I'm not convinced it really would be that different, or that women aren't really as visual, but there does seem to be a segment of the female population that is underserved by apps (if it's true that a much smaller percentage of women use them). What do women (who are less visual) want (in a dating app)?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 07:03 PM
2

Hard to argue with. I still think social media and dating apps are not living up to their potential as ways to meet people or at least make introductions. I think the fact that everything costs $$ prevents them from effectively doing so. All dating apps are virtually the same. Is that really because that's the only functional model for a dating app? I don't think so. It's a combination of one company buying all the others and the fact that none can really grow organically using any other model. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 04:25 PM
4

Who is claiming women have more value than men? I'm amazed you missed this, as it's pretty common theory around here that women are valued for themselves but men have to demonstrate their value. This is the base model of the entire traditional courting practice. The male proves his worthiness. Take for example one of the most desirable characteristics of men according to women; confidence. And how does one get such confidence? But giving up one's ego attachents? (/s) No, by mastery of something …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 04:16 PM
1

Yeah nobody seems to be picking up on that. If anyone suggested women should date fat men people would be clutching pearls and claiming the Handmaid's Tale was a documentary.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 04:01 PM
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Women have a certain kind of in group emotional intelligence, but it doesn't extend to men. Naturally enough; women don't have men's life experience and so can't relate or imagine what being a male is like. Same with the reverse, men can't accurately know what being a woman is like. Women support and validate each others' emotional experience, often w/o questioning the validity of the perceptions that are generating those emotions. That support is a kind of emotional intelligence. It would be ni…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:45 PM
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It gets harder when you don't have some instantly obvious selling point like looks or charisma (and perhaps a few other qualities). People make snap judgments based on 1st impressions, so if you don't have "curb appeal" you probably will never have to opportunity to get to know that person who might otherwise have been compatible with you. This is why so many average couples meet as school or work; they need the captive audience in order to get to know someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 03:54 PM
15

the 80/20 rules also applies to women as well I know we live in a postmodern world where just saying something makes it true, but this stretches the boundaries of absurd. It's generally accepted that male attraction towards women more closely resembles a bell curve and female attraction towards men more closely resembles a distribution heavily skewed to one side (the 20%).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 03:33 PM
1

Being extroverted is a definite plus. You have to be sufficiently social, which for the less gifted in looks means extra-social. If you are going out multiple times a week and trying to chat up others the entire time, you are naturally going to do better than the (male) introverts scrolling at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 10:43 PM
1

I think people conduct their relationships they way they do because it's what's expected. But the desire for one in the first place is more fundamental. Relationships, if you're lucky, are just super fun. There's an emotional aspect that you never really experience outside of a relationship. Even with family or friends. I'm not talking about just the sex part, although that can seamlessly blend into other satisfying aspects of it. Someone said you get to know the best (and possibly also see some…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:56 PM
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Why not. I don't think there is only one "the one". You could have exceptional compatibility with some small percentage of people. You probably pass one every day (or maybe once a week). Perhaps some people are not difficult matches. For them there are many possibilities in terms of suitable mates. They aren't too quirky in any certain way. Lets say they are compatible with 10 - 15% of the general population. Not too hard for them to find acceptable mates. These are probably the blue pillers of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:04 PM
12

I would have agreed with this. The value of Casual sex debate is mostly a red herring to hide the fact that women have it easier in almost every aspect of dating and forming relationships. The fact that they don't form satisfying relationships is because women don't have the social skills to do so, and instead of teaching them, the conversation gets diverted to "who wants casual sex anyways?" It's an interesting way to divert women away from the power they do have in the situation. I would have …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 04:39 PM
2

The conclusion is that their instincts are correct but the twist is all men are narcissists of one sort or another
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 01:16 AM
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I wonder if, despite the gender stereotypes to the contrary, men are the more demisexual ones. Reason being; for women it seems to be a "hell yeah" or "hell no" at first sight. For men it seems "well maybe" most often with more occasional yay or nays. But those "well maybe"s could turn into "hell yeahs" upon getting to know the woman more easily than the gender reversed (particularly since women seem to consider "well maybe" as "settling" and not worth it). Hence; dudes are more dimesexual. I ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 04:43 PM
1

unattractive are still finding partners with relative ease, whether it be with dating apps PPD gold
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:27 PM
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I believe dating apps have had an impact on the dating experience of the average guy, to give one small example; they create the impression that every woman's dating pool includes the same attractive guys at the top of the selection hierarchy, to the detriment of those below.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 08:51 PM
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You don't believe dating apps have affected dating at all for the average guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 08:37 PM
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If apps had been around back then I wouldn't have been able to date them then, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 07:33 PM
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The only way it would be easier now is if you are a guy who does well on dating apps. Otherwise, no, it is not easier now. I also dated in the pre-tinderized world and there's no way I could have dated the women I dated then, post-dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 04:45 PM
4

This is remedial level social skills. Women need to learn them just like the menz do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 06:57 PM
1

We should revisit the 4 humours; phlegmatic, sanguine, bilious, and choleric.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:13 AM
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Serial monogamy gets a bad rap because it's been defined as compulsively going from relationship to relationship w/o ever developing any real connection or bond. I'm not sure if that's what it means really, but that is the popular connotation. I've always thought that the art of the love affair has been lost, and that is what "serial monogamy" should mean; a genuine relationship that is allowed to run it's course, whatever that may be, w/o trying to make it fit in the perfectionist dream box of …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:16 PM
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If you think women cheat less than men do you are either a blindly rabid gender essentialist or, probably too naive to be attempting relationships. Apart from that little quibble though, you raise a good point. Monogamy is a slog and most people aren't built for it the way they think they are. I'd wager that it is an impossible ideal for most. Not that those people will then cheat. But they may quiet quit on some aspect of their relationship. But for people who want that kind of pair bonding tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:11 PM
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But then, what to do? There may be some people "hardwired" for monogamy (not sure, but I'm skeptical about that), but even if you think it's a perfectionist ideal, you can still desire it on many levels. I'm not sure polyamory is completely natural, or at least comfortable, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:02 PM
2

I had a job like that. the built in social/dating network made it worth the low pay and poor working conditions, for a while. Another idea; have a ton of roommates and then date their friends. These things work better when you're younger it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 11:34 PM
1

Pretty much whenever I have some extended down time my thoughts will go there. What do women think about instead? I'll think about friends or family, but there usually isn't that much to think about with them, where as with past or future (hopefully) relationships there's a lot more in terms of nuance and depth and possibility and fantasy and intensity.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:19 PM
3

Nah, that isn't fair. Most of these incels you mention have no practical skills or ability either. Women played their role back when gender roles were prescribed and adhered to, and didn't always get the opportunity to get into trades.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:46 AM
2

That's interesting. I think it would be hard to do again because land is so expensive everywhere now. Unless you go extremely rural. The era I'm referring to is when building codes were lax and rural land was cheap right off the highway (though still far from any good sized city).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:33 AM
15

No interest personally but it's an interesting hypothetical. Women did try experiments in separatism in the 60s and 70s, in the form of women-only communes. I'm not aware of men ever attempting or desiring anything similar, then or now. Men have more gay bars than women do, by a significant margin, but I'm not sure if that indicates anything in particular. The women-only communes died out slowly as younger women didn't feel the need to remove themselves from society to such an extent, and had le…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 12:00 AM
2

Blame others and only others.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 06:20 PM
6

"the relationship is dead" Of course. That's what they will say. Nobody is going to say or think they divorced because they were bored. It's the truth, but zero people will ever, ever cop to that. Because people are spineless cowards. Instead they will justify themselves to themselves as simply reacting to what is happening "out there". Always the victim, never responsible. There's nothing wrong with changing something because you are bored by the way. You only have one life to live. But absolut…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:31 PM
-3

"You’re not genuine" It's a post to generate conversation. One could say it's a trolling technique, but it's effective. One could also say it's rage bait to bring out the worst kind of response from the worst kind of guys. But that generates engagement too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:26 PM
5

None of those things enumerated recognize (or miss) the personhood of the man in the partnership. Only the utility he had as an accessory. Women are more sensible and more likely to go into marriage viewing divorce as an option at any time. Which is better than the past when women were dependent on their spouse. But men should not be going into it with rose colored glasses on thinking they are irreplaceable or that the vow isn't more like "til you get bored" rather than "til death do you part".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:19 PM
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If you can't handle her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:02 AM
3

Well that wasn't very romantic. I could nitpick a few items or present how it's no picnic for men either but essentially you make some good points. I don't know why women would want to get married these days. People are way too romantic/idealist in general, and yet, for a very few odd couples it does seem to work. But relationships that don't terminate in marriage I could see. I don't understand how this sub is the only place to discuss some of these issues but still remains so basic/conservativ…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 08:05 PM
3

It's not a main motivator in any way. It might be novel and fun, particularly if she does something that you are interested in as well, but otherwise who cares.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 04:50 AM
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While true to some extent, I disagree that women have to make no effort. Maybe little at the introduction stage. You know how women complain that often their boyfriends stop "putting in the work" at some point? Could be that's because the guys feel taken for granted, and behavior that isn't rewarded eventually stops.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 11:21 PM
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I'm basing that mainly on stuff in OPs post, and many others like it, which is a lot of performative maleness phantasy like, 'would you fold if your girlfriend was threatened'? and "are you able to truly keep a woman happy?"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:33 PM
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The weird thing about posts like these is the position that men must earn relationships but women don't have to. The premise is that men are responsible for women's experience and women are simply passive consumers in the relationship. The "feminist" choice it espouses is either submit to luck that a "good" man will earn your attention, and keep earning it, or withdraw from dating and relationships. While that is an improvement over simply submitting to a bad choice, it isn't actually telling wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:08 PM
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In that case though, work was doing all the work for you. Work brought you together and essentially took care of the introductions. You didn't have to try because she was basically a captive audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 05:23 PM
1

Blue pill ridonkulousness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 05:22 PM
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Have you even been to Walmart? Women paired up with guys who put their underwear on over their pants. The bar is in hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 05:14 PM
3

This is something often left out of this argument. It's about quality, not quantity, and one size does not fit all when it comes to relationships. An additional variable is that some luck might be required to actually meet that person and not just walk by them in a crowd.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 03:48 PM
1

You are right. Nothing is immutable. College students often have epiphanies about who they are and what and whom they are attracted to. Feminism completely rewired expectations for mates for many, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 03:45 PM
2

Men who can't find a girlfriend are disgusting, selfish misogynists. People are downvoting you, but this is the Blue Pill take in a nutshell. That's some tough blue pill love there, boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 02:55 PM
1

I haven't sent any money but I've sent thoughts and prayers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 11:15 PM
1

Not clinically obsessed, the difference being if the behavior impacts your life (or others' lives) in seriously negative ways. But a little obsessed? sure. And I like your comedic touches like the q-tip on the shrine. But semen belongs there for it to be a genuine obsession, more so than a q-tip. Basically I'm defining this as a crush, or infatuation. I believe those things get a bad rap in our modern world which has deluded itself into thinking it is any more sensible than that. I think you can…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 04:39 PM
33

I don't think guys fail at this type of intelligence any more than women do. Read any dating/sex/relationships advice sub and you'll see women are no better at this then men are. The difference is Americans loath introversion (and shyness, I'll lump those together even tho introverts will protest for the only time in their lives); particularly in men, and see it as a personal defect when it occurs in men but not in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 03:47 PM
5

How male bisexuality in their potential partners tends to give women the ick moreso than vise versa is indicative that we are still judged according to how we conform to masculine stereotypes. Submissiveness on the part of men could be thrown in there as well. The Ick even extends to guys who are just shy, to some extent. So yeah, no: the message to men still is, play the role.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 03:53 PM
1

My dating preferences are pretty wide open to begin with, so no one has told me I need to expand them. I don't think the examples in your post equate very well because no one is telling women to date fat guys or single dads unless that's their thing. I know people here insist obesity is normal now but no one is saying women have to be open to dating obese men. That is a strawman. If guys have unrealistic expectations about their preferences, other guys will call them out on it. To a degree. It's…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 01:06 AM
3

While some of your post is fantasy (like men lived in some version of paradise before dating apps), there is some truth to the idea of the reality check. that being, you know exactly how attractive you are or are not to women, whereas before that was less clear. Though, as has been pointed out, it's not clear exactly what the reality is, since women, when confronted with dozens, maybe 100s or several 100s, of choices will begin to default to just choosing the most interesting looking ones on dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:15 PM
2

I think there's a slight difference. Many women seem particularly naive when it comes to men. Men are also supremely naive about women, but it's in a different way. Basically both buy into some version of gender role stereotypes but they doll it up in modern idealogical clothing or resort to explanations that are supposedly based on biology. Both are, in general, probably equally naive about relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 03:58 PM
1

That is kind of hilarious. "Be authentic but try something else"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 03:02 PM
1

Observationally I'd agree, but message-wise, there's still a lot of dissimulation. the idea that women are less visual and mostly innately demisexual, and that men, conversely, are hyper visual, is enthusiastically embraced and promoted as the gospel truth by both men and women to this day. Masculinity itself is still a somewhat 2 dimensional caricature, yet those ideals are still largely in place and men are rewarded by conforming to them. There are other mixed messages that men are prone to as…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:41 PM
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"men" is plural
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 06:58 PM
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I used to argue against the "male loneliness is entitlement" point, because I think women do get preferential treatment often. But then men started arguing that the "loneliness" in question actually means "no sex", and then I gave up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 03:51 PM
2

Interesting. Sounds like a Reddit relationship advice sub of its day
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 12:01 AM
1

Maybe, what are those? never heard of them. Everything old is new again eventually
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 10:58 PM
9

Maybe just have a relationship-licensing board made up of women. No relationship without submitting an application, review process, approval, licensing. Solve most of the problems. WDYT?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 04:31 PM
2

thank you, you as well
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 12:00 AM
1

Long term but not forever. No marriage or kids. Don't want to do relationships that look like the domestic partnerships I see. travel together, live separate. We can transition to lifelong friends, but I don't think the romantic part lasts, and that's fine. LTRs are still worthwhile even if they end. I found that once you get past a certain age, individuality asserts itself and compatibility becomes a matter of moments here and there rather than a full time thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 10:38 PM
3

Not just all men are different but the same man is different at different times. Like I usually hate it when guys say all men are horndogs but then I have to admit there ~at certain times~ I have behaved that way. But not all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 10:25 PM
1

Cheaters always have an excuse. Cheating women have such incredibly florid excuses that it's actually not cheating anymore in their minds.. It was choosing the lesser of two evils. Also, I swear you'd knee jerk downvote me even if I agreed with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 03:37 PM
1

If you're going to marry a man (🤢), do it for wealth and cheat with ones you're actually attracted to Quite the red pilled take there. You're not saying anything new here, you're just saying the part women usually deny to themselves or don't say out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 03:20 PM
2

I used to be very critical of the guys who paid for OF. But now I sorta get it. It's like farm-to-table porn. You know where the thing you are consuming comes from. I noticed that I would watch porn and then the next day not remember what I had watched. Like how many people can't remember what they ate for dinner the previous day. Not that it matters, probly, but it seems extra vacuous to be masturbating to something and have zero mindfulness about it. So I've been trying to pay more attention t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 06:34 PM
4

Well good for you for escaping your conservative upbringing. I think you've traded one dogma for another, but at least this one seems to work better for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:28 AM
3

Everybody has negative experiences with men. Not everybody goes full misandrist.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:17 AM
-3

You go girl. but on your deathbed make sure you didn't adhere to conservative feminist ideals either, if they aren't authentic for you. There are many ways to cheat yourself out of a life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 02:50 AM
1

Using others to get your dinner paid for is vile.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 03:32 PM
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Not 100%, but sure. I'm surprised you are getting nearly 100% pushback on this. It just sounds like another version of "men are expected to do, perform, produce, etc", while women support each other for just being whomever they are currently, and if anything went wrong it isn't the woman's fault, it's the fault of the dude who didn't read her correctly, or read the social cues, etc. Another version; women are supposedly these social geniuses who have to learn to read subtle cues in order to be p…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 05:31 PM
2

I don't think so. While arrogance can be subtle, when people talk about it in the context of meeting someone, what they mean by arrogance is usually pretty obvious unless you are very young and inexperienced.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 07:06 PM
2

The problem is, men are hardwired to want the thing that makes them miserable. I'm not sure how you concluded that. I do think people get bored easily and need variety and new challenges. It's the nature of the species that we keep inventing things to solve problems and ironically create more problems. We need to be learning and growing. Stasis seems attractive and comfy and safe but we need novelty too. Our state is that we continually bounce between desire and satiation, and we should accept t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 03:24 PM
5

Confidence. I know people will fight me on that. It's not always a yellow flag. Plenty of confident people are also nice. But confidence also can signal that someone isn't really capable of introspection, and will often fail to take responsibility when something goes not as hoped or planned. It will always be someone else's fault, no matter what. Also, while they may be fun to be around, once you cease to be of use to them you will basically cease to exist. They may seem interested in you, but t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 03:12 PM
1

Maybe if you're in an extremely macho culture? I don't know. Personally I seem to see a lot of guys who depend on women for validation for their sense of worth as human beings, so I don't think those dudes are worshiping guys or whatever, because they aren't seeking that kind of validation from men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 07:10 PM
3

I'd be interested to hear how your teacher fleshed that out. I tend to agree. I think humans focus their romantic feelings and attachments on one other person at a time. Yes, you can love many people, but I'm talking about those feelings of romantic infatuation, which people downplay, but I think are underestimated.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 02:28 PM
2

The thing evopsyche hobbyests conveniently omit is that under those models women crave genetic variety as well, just on a different (usually, but not even always by some estimates) timeline.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 02:18 PM
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Haven't given up exactly, the effort just faded out for the same reason it does in any aspect of life: the intermittent rewards kept getting lesser and lesser, and further and further apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 12:04 AM
1

Because it can be overdone. It's easy to interpret almost any word or gesture as not being commensurate with equality if that's the lens through which you choose to see the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 02:59 PM
1

There are some attractive aspects. I seem to have exclusively very liberal, well educated women in my life (work, friends, and just everywhere in this city). While that's great in some ways, the downside is that every single interaction with them is highly politicized, and that includes in the bedroom, with an eye towards every action being completely equal and non objectifying. It's a little like walking on eggshells being 100% politically correct in every word and gesture.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 02:24 AM
20

Why do partnered men live longer according to the studies?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:46 PM
6

If it happened organically, like in a social group, or with someone at work over time, perhaps. But if we are "dating" but I'm just waiting to see if the other person will feel something eventually, that seems odd. But if we had a good time hanging out anyway, why not
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:07 PM
18

I don't have a problem with it per se, but I feel like after months of zero sexual interest I would lose what interest I had in that person, sexually, because the message I would be getting from them the entire time is: "I'm not interested in you"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 07:47 PM
5

I think we need to kill the whole unconditional love thing. Neither women nor men are angels. These same guys who sing hymns to unconditional love will turn around and say "dump her,, she if for the streets!" if she cheats on her hubs. That's not unkondishunal. However, I do agree that the onus is upon men to do a lot of the approaching and initiating. This is more obvious at the beginning of a relationship, but it continues throughout, though it gets more subtle; it's still expected that the gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 04:19 PM
2

" So what your saying is..." You can change yourself and attempt to change the negative things you see in your social milieu. These things are not mutually exclusive. Changing one with zero attention paid to the other is a less effective strategy. Also, who's "forcing" change? Critique doesn't have to be so scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 09:04 PM
4

Well you have to identify them in order to change them. This questioning phase often doesn't happen til college age, which is late in the game. I don't see this sub as particularly enlightened in many ways, though I'm sure it absolutely believes that it is. And societal norms sometimes come with penalties for those who don't conform.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 06:26 PM
6

I agree except, women do have a role to play as well. Men aren't the only ones who enforce one dimensional masculine stereotypes on men and devalue men who don't make the grade. *not all men, not all women*, etc. But for lots of men many aspects of life are a competition with other men. This isn't always solely by men's choice. The other thing to acknowledge is that men are starting from behind in that nearly everyone has a pro-woman bias. Women certainly do. so that half the population prone to…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 05:29 PM
1

Eh, don't entirely agree. Obvs "naturals" will do well effortlessly. But I have seen men reinvent themselves, sometimes drastically, and it makes a big difference in their romantic lives. You kind of touched on the idea that she has to be able to envision you in the leading role in her romantic fantasy. That is based on appearance to a very high degree. Sure, you can blow it later on by having a whiny personality, but most men are just looking for a chance to get to know someone rather than just…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:42 PM
2

"If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". It's an extreme formulation of a common idea. Another example is the metaphor of "fighting for a relationship". Generally, that kind of effort is expected of men, not women. The "fight" often involves concession, forgiveness, begging, etc. But mostly what it is is an expectation that men will carry the burden of communication for women. It's an offshoot of the idea valorized in this group but elsewhere in general, that women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 07:29 PM
2

Okcupid did this basically, which is what Rudder based his Dataclysm book on. There was some functionality that was withheld until you had rated several profiles that the site presented to you on a 1-5 star system. So eventually everybody got a rating (tho they weren't transparent enough to let you know what that was). And then Cupid would present you with similarly scored profiles. Except we all know that sex sells so there was also massive incentive to present the highest rated profiles to peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:40 PM
1

Here's something you may not have thought of: you can just say no if you don't actually want sex yourself, or find no value in it, as a woman. But, going forward with some imagineering, there are some possible unintended consequences of your utopian vision. Like, if sex work was completely de-stigmatized, which we sorta see happening with Onlyfans and other amateur sex vendors, eventually everyone will potentially be a sex worker. Which floods the market with labor, driving prices down. As a res…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 02:44 PM
1

fought harder is an odd way to put it. Probably in all of them I wish I had done better, tried a little harder, because there was more potential there. But that's a two way street. Part of the reason I stopped putting energy in is because there was little to no reward for doing so. Things don't happen in a vacuum.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 07:12 PM
2

I'm going to disagree there. People who do other people wrong usually think they are in the right to do so. Not always, but pretty often they will justify it in their own minds. You can call literally everything and anything people believe "cope", but that doesn't change the fact that they may actually still believe it. Guilt and shame are passé.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 04:42 PM
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Please remember this aspect of life: The kindest and most loving person in the room is usually the most replaceable. I had thought as much but women here will fight you on it that those "kind and loving" men who don't get female attention are actually deeply psychologically damaged with insurmountable insecurity that will surface later. Basically anyone who isn't Chad has Nice Guy Syndrome.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:40 PM
3

Men aren't asking for pity sex, they are asking to be on the same footing as women. Which is: the majority of women are pretty average, but if you get to know them their personality might be a match with yours and that is called compatibility, and that is what will make her seem especially attractive beyond her other average peers. In other words, average women aren't discarded as undateable without getting to know something about them first. Not the case with average men, who have to demonstrat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:16 PM
1

1st - is this a common problem for women who aren't very overweight? 2nd - got any pix of women who aren't overweight for whom this is an issue to illustrate your point? I don't think the majority of guys care that much about HWR if the person is otherwise not drastically overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:05 PM
2

I agree with you mostly. But I still maintain people have unrealistic* expectations of others and of relationships, and that's why they keep crashing and burning rather than saying "ok that was good for what it was but I'm done". Also, they aren't any better at relationships themselves quite often, they just can't see it. Projection perhaps. * Vast understatement, that goes for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:06 PM
1

My pushback would be that relationships actually are worth it, even the fucked up ones. ~As long as we aren't talking seriously messed up (lets be reasonable people). The problem? People trying to make every person and relationship fit in a box and be like some kind of perfect dream fantasy. The realities on the ground are: most people who don't pair up easily and naturally fairly early on probably have some sort of issues. I'm putting that mildly. Doesn't mean they are bad people or not worth d…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 09:16 PM
1

The fantasy is a LTR w/ a partner who likes camping, hiking, nice cocktails, who doesnt' mind splitting the cost of cheap hotels, doing some of the driving, and who is sexually compatible, with similar kinks, has a sweet disposition and a roughly similar degree of introversion/extroversion. Who doesn't desire to cohabitate or have kids. But that is purely a fantasy so I'm willing to accept lots of variations on those themes. An FWB would be interesting but I don't think that's in the cards.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 05:04 PM
1

food?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 04:56 PM
2

While it sounds reasonable on the surface, I'd have to think about that one more.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 01:13 AM
2

I was originally thinking outside of sex, but now that you mention it it probably would be a good way for people to meet as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 01:07 AM
1

Good question. Big topic. The basic outline would be legal matters and things that are settled in courts. Your parents are responsible for feeding you properly when you are a child for example. They owe that to you and to society at large. It is an obligation required by the society we find ourselves in. Anything beyond that gets into religious or personal ideas about what is moral or good.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 12:22 AM
–

We are owed some things and not others. Society is just a collection of agreements of that sort, both formal and informal. True, it's an ongoing debate about what those things should be. But if you are going to deviate from the basic bill of rights type stuff, radical arguments need radical proofs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 07:01 PM
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It isn't, because you are 100% dependent on others fulfilling their societal obligations towards you. You in fact wouldn't even be able to walk or talk if that didn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 06:58 PM
2

I was sort of joking about that. I think it depends on how the sex worker delivers the goods. For example, I'm fooled into thinking my waitress cares about me when she is nice, even tho she's just doing it for tips and to make the day go faster. So if a sex worker at least performed the caring part, maybe the bought cuddles would be nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 06:55 PM
–

You could link this issue with the economics and create something like the old Civilian Conservation Corps, which did civic projects during the Depression. Its purpose was to give people jobs, but also to get them out of cities and into the countryside, doing productive and meaningful work outdoors, and to build a sort of community while it lasted.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 03:39 PM
–

Nobody is owed ANYTHING from anyone else. Full stop. You aren't owed anything, fucktard! What does this even mean? It is a reduction to absurdity that if you can't make others do what you want then no one should have to follow any rules at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 03:27 PM
15

This argument is absurd. Society as a collective created those things, not men alone. Many of those jobs and roles were unavailable to women, but nonetheless women contributed in the roles that were available to them. And any individual man's role in creating society was to benefit themselves as much as to benefit any woman. Also our collective roles in society have nothing to do with our individual autonomy when it comes to creating families, so you can't trade one for the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 03:18 PM
7

Those cuddles will still feel empty
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:57 PM
1

Never know. I sometimes see people driving around town who write appeals for venmo gifts on their car windows.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:24 PM
3

Occasionally you will see a post here from a woman advising the same thing; find some niche subculture to be part of.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:15 AM
2

Not only would I not mind, I'd say most women need a class like this. Well - perhaps they don't need it since they aren't expected to initiate, so if being passive still works for them (and many swear that it does with near religiosity), they obviously don't "need" it. But for women who find that the men who approach them aren't the ones they want to spend time with (although those men are often representatives of le confident male, so what's not to like, eh?), they need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 04:35 PM
5

Reddit in particular needs to hear this. The 2 Cardinal Sins according to Reddit are cheating and driving too slow in the left lane. I'm pretty sure women cheat as much as men despite the discrepancy in (self) reports, so guys, don't play completely innocent if it happens to you, like "I had no idea about human nature, I was shocked and heartbroken". I learned this pretty early when every girl in college had a boyfriend somewhere else, either back home or at another school, that they were cheati…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:06 PM
1

I actually dislike the greater distances. Time was, you went to your local watering hole and met people from within a 5 mile radius. Going on a date with some stranger 30 minutes away (if it isn't rush hour) is surprisingly not an improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 07:06 PM
2

And there are tons of lonely MILFs who want to meet you. These truly are the good old days
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 07:01 PM
4

I think your second example is a good one that many probably wouldn't have thought of. The first one I'm not so sure about, since you should be able to spend some time (platonically, in a public place) with others which necessitates occasionally leaving your partner alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:05 PM
–

Maybe a lot of people here are from traditional countries or emphasize traditional relationships and see anything alternative to that as "BAD". I tend to agree with you that after a certain age, the dating pool gets quirkier. That doesn't have to be bad though, unless you are looking for that traditional relationship, to get married and start having kids right away. Not everything has to emulate whatever the middle class fantasy relationship is in order to be considered "GOOD".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 01:52 PM
–

I don't know if I would technically consider them to be victims of another person/group Why don't you know? I agree with your rant except this part. Unless you are referring again to the belittling of the romanceless that you mentioned prior. Other than that I don't see how you could consider them "victims".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:28 PM
4

Not buying it. No one did anything to you. You may have been dealt a bad hand but the self pity is beyond the rational with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:30 PM
1

I know 3 women who no longer talk to a parent (all the parents are divorced; 2 moms, 1 dad cancelled) at all. It does seem like a modern phenomenon to just cut people out of your life if they aren't actively contributing. I'm sure there's dudes doing that as well, but maybe the women seem more proud of it or something. Or it's just coincidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:24 PM
1

I get this as a cautionary tale about marriage. But there is a middle ground between not dating at all and being married. That, to me (someone who never wanted to marry) is the sweet spot that many men aim for. This sub does seem to go from 0 - 60 in terms of romantic goals, going from not dating at all to suddenly having a bunch of kids with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:12 PM
2

But to get the "girlfriend experience" via prostitution is beyond the economic means of most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:31 PM
2

Something more essential about them besides the fact that they have whichever genitalia you desire. And you wouldn't be driven by the fear of being alone. Although, yeah, it could turn out that your e-companion would be more compatible with you than any human could ever be.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:28 PM
6

But I wonder if people would be more attractive in general w/o the desperation (whether for sex, companionship, intimacy, etc) that so many currently have? Like if you got together with someone it would be more purely a "free" choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:53 AM
8

Or they have had enough experience with the hot stove that they have no problem stepping away for a while, feeling that the only thing they are missing is being burned.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:07 PM
5

Confidence is one you hear often, which I find a poor indicator of character. I know women will argue just the opposite; that signs of insecurity are red flags. But when I see a confident person I need to know that they can introspect (important quality), both about themselves as persons, and whether they can tolerate ambiguity. I need to know you aren't a psychopath. People who can use self deprecation, humorously not dogmatically, show me that they might be able to tolerate having their ideas …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:46 PM
2

You tell me what you think that means.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:31 PM
29

what makes you believe there's an abundance of good options to choose from? Because there are some women who don't struggle with it. They seem to choose well fairly easily. Because some of the guys we know who are the most successful at dating aren't the greatest choices; many women value the wrong qualities in their vetting process. Wrong for what they are seeking that is. If they just want to have fun with a popular dude for a week or two, then they are spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:17 PM
4

Realistically, yes. If you're a mid guy it's very likely you're going to have to make some compromises. Sometimes a lot of compromises. You can hold out for some perfectly adjusted person, but it might be a very long wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:46 PM
1

Date, sure. Live with? No. As long as her personal hygiene was good (which I guess it wouldn't be in this hypothetical). My first girlfriend was a hoarder I think (or maybe it was the mom). At the time I didn't know that was a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:42 PM
1

Directly to the old ad hominems. Do you understand what hypocrisy is? No shade. you probably should not speak for men. But you think you should?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 11:41 PM
1

I would say there's the tendency towards more competition (or judging of the "respect is earned" type) on the guy's side but the other part of the picture is there's also more positive regard as the default on the women's side.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:41 PM
6

gtfo, men compete with each other, often ruthlessly bullying one another for no reason, or because other men don't quite fit in with the norms. Is homophobia over now? Quit trying to gaslight that guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:33 PM
1

Can one simply get over shyness that quickly?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:15 AM
10

If that's true, and I'm not sure it is, culture exploits it to its psychological maximum by pitting men against one another and signalling that it's all or nothing for them in terms of value. There is a biological origin in many behaviors, but that doesnt' mean those behaviors aren't exploited, bent and twisted by culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:25 PM
0

Yeah but how many people actually laugh inside when they hear the term "manosphere"? Most people don't take it very seriously. I believe it has actual cultural influence, but it's a very recent arrival. That and it's not entirely clear what it is in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:22 PM
-1

Are women's choices that good though? I'll submit a theory bound to be unpopular; that the control of women's sexuality and choice came about precisely because women's choices tend to be suboptimal. In other words, Jill's sexuality is more closely monitored than Jack's precisely because Jill is more likely to run away with a traveling salesmen or get pregnant by a carnival ride operator. But even then I don't get why people need to go to biological explanations like a security blanket. It could …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 03:28 PM
1

It's hard to say from your post how checked out this hypothetical girlfriend really is. To me it sounds like she's happy with the primary relationship but not as needy now (for just one example, I've never had a girlfriend say "I love you" every single day, and not being hyper concerned about Valentine's Day actually seems like a plus), but I'm sure others will read it as she no longer loves you at all. Bottom line, as long as she still loves me and is able to be present when we are together, no…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 03:56 PM
1

I think it's because we pedestalize someone when we have a crush on them, and so for some folks (mostly men it seems, but sometimes women), they idealize that state of infatuation as a higher state of existence, brought about by the proximity, and reciprocation if the gods smile, of the love object. They are in love with being in love and the object of that love is an abstraction "women".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 03:47 PM
1

In the meantime, I think it's good to encourage men to be more like women in terms of distributing their compliments; be more abundant with it, not less. Currently men's compliments seem to only stem from self motivation; see a woman he likes, give positive attention. Otherwise, other people are treated like NPCs in the male life, not unlike how women treat men. But giving compliments, or just being friendly, has many more functions other than signaling interest or trying to attract one person. …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:48 PM
3

Good summary. To me the most salient point right now is that men are raised to place all their eggs in one basket; that of an intimate relationship with a woman. That's their holy grail. Movies typically portray a lone wolf male hero who is brought out of his shell (implicitly rescued) by a woman he has to rescue (explicitly rescued), proving his worth. That used to be the popular myth among women also, but the Snow White story of waiting to be awakened by some man's kiss doesn't play as well an…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:35 PM
2

It's not just a matter of attention. Women blow sunshine up other women's skirts all the time, and no one is sick of it. It's the pseudo "nice guy" syndrome that taints the waters so that male attention is never seen as actually being nice. Talking about personal interactions here, not women farming instagram followers, Onlyfans subscribers, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:29 PM
1

That's not exactly what I said, but that's enough for now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 10:05 PM
1

It's not about you other than the fact that you are a person and this is the human condition which you can't escape, even if you report me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 09:49 PM
1

On the extreme stuff, sure. But if you think boredom doesn't exist and doesn't affect relationships, you're tripping hard. But you're in good company. Most people aren't going to own their own feelings around this because it would be considered a moral failure to quite a relationship because you were bored. So you call it some bullshit other thing and project it onto you partner. Problem solved. edit; in fact that's what cheating is, boredom. And I'll wager women do it as often as men given equa…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 07:52 PM
2

Eh, I don't know. Gay men have that rep for valuing beauty, but they also give average guys the most compliments, which straight and plain guys will report to you, so I don't know how far you can lean into that stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 06:58 PM
1

People will subconsciously defend their own egos til the ends of the earth. Sometimes it's painfully, pathetically obvious. But, there's nothing wrong with a coping strategy of denial when it works. Especially if it causes you to choose some other behavior rather than persisting in the broken one. So it's all good, yay!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 06:56 PM
1

People will make up much more noble sounding excuses, and of course blame others, rather than admitting they were bored. But make no mistake: they are bored. And if you like you can make that other people's fault; they weren't putting in the effort, stopped trying, stopped caring, etc. They were boring is the country simple way of putting it. I'll wager a high percentage of the time when you hear people say things like that it's their own projection.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 05:00 PM
–

sure, but that's a big step for a man or a woman to go against the values of the culture they were raised in. First they have to realize whether the relationships they are expected to pursue are illusion or not. Then they have to weigh alternatives. These aren't easy decisions because there will be voices on both sides insisting they are the one true way, and it takes a while to weigh the evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 04:43 PM
4

The mythologizing of women on this sub is amazing. Your lesbian partner is just as likely to grow bored of you as your male partner. I'll say she's just as likely to cheat if she has that option, but numbers often reign that in. Lesbian relationships are definitely not considered more stable than other types. Try reading about women-only communes sometime. The power struggles are identical to that of all other human beings. It's not Eden. Ultimately this is patriarchy is what some feminists coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 03:04 PM
-7

The other thing imo is that women seem to never acknowledge they can be the problem in their marriage, men always are and looking in the mirror is frowned upon. It's that right there. women get bored and instead of owning it create a scapegoat out of their partner using emotional reasoning. Being unhappy = emotional abuse or neglect, etc, by your partner. This is obvious and not up for discussion. But this is a new age, and partnerships are evolving, so all is for the best. Gone is the romantic …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:53 PM
1

If that's all she liked about me that would be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:17 AM
5

The thing is, you have to critique the current goals and expectations that are foisted upon men. That involves big public debates. You seem to think men should go one self fulfillment retreats and just focus on what makes them happy. But first they have to deconstruct the dominant narrative. That is what feminism did, and continues to do. Of course it also goes to ridiculous extremes; every idea does. Every thought that comes along has a small segment of people who will interpret it and push it …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 03:38 PM
1

How will the market respond to the demand? I think Onlyfans is an interesting phenomenon, as it sort of redefines who a sex worker is or isn't, and normalizes it to a certain extent. From which we might extrapolate that in the future everyone will be a sex worker of one kind or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 10:28 PM
1

You've got a lot going on there. A lot of what I see that people don't seem to notice is that men compromise more when cohabitating, but compromise often makes you passive, which can be interpreted as being lazy, or can eventually actually be lazy. Or just lead to being increasing disenfranchised and checked out while letting the other person do things the way they like them. It's like you know they aren't going to like what you like, and you'll be ok with their decision, but eventually they get…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:05 PM
1

"decentering" in this case, means not being dependent on women for social needs, friendship, socialization in general, approval, sense of self worth, etc. It means finding meaning in life elsewhere other than relationships with women. It doesn't mean avoid them, just don't be dependent on them. How would that be the same as "touching grass"?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:48 PM
15

agree. I tried following the advice "stop looking and it will find you" once. After a few years (in the prime of my youth no less) w/o so much as a date I realized that advice was terrible. For some people. But in general women are going to get a lot more positive regard outside of relationships, and men get more negative associations that they have to overcome. As someone said elsewhere, women get many of the benefits of being in a relationship already, w/o having to be in one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:46 PM
3

Because vetting people isn't that hard. Maybe men aren't drawn to the "dark triad" traits the way women are, so it's less difficult to discern who's a psychopath or narcissist*. And, my dating pool is far from perfect. In this social strata we tend not to have "done the work" as much as in some others. So there's a bit more realism about people's foibles, shall we say, when they do occur. * - These people are not really that subtle and covert. In fact they are often flamingly flamboyant with it.…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:20 PM
1

How is you example an example of good communication? She says, "I'm not coming if you're busy" he says "fair enough", now she feels she is "a last priority" and breaks up. That's terrible communication on both sides, but I'd lean into the woman neglecting to communicate more since she didn't voice her concern in any way whatsoever. Really, it's an example of horrible communication skills. Like below remedial. I'm amazed that other people are thinking "oh yeah, women are master communicators who …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 09:03 PM
1

Basically I think your points are excellent but I disagree somewhat on the proportion of emphasis placed on "life partner" vs friendships. I agree with the person who said finding a life partner is a bit of a long shot, especially if you have any eccentricities about you. And most people do have neuroses of one sort or another. Friendships have been denigrated into a minor subsidiary role in men's lives, and romantic relationships elevated beyond what is realistic (put on a pedestal?). I agree t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 12:16 AM
9

any woman I know sees things like growing social skills, honing emotional intelligence, practicing your style and presentation- all of those are just a part of our regular lives. Gonna disagree here. what men are asked to do is initiate and continue to lead social interactions with women in ways that women are not asked to do. The guy has to demonstrate fitness as a partner in ways the woman doesn't, generally speaking, so no, I don't see women as having comparable social skills at all. I see tw…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 12:07 AM
–

There's something to be said for not speaking in absolutes, if that isn't what we actually mean. Not just for the spergs who can't abstract. There are some language theories that suggest that we believe what we hear ourselves saying, and are unduly influenced by the kind of media we consume - Not to the point that we would believe in absolutes ("my one theory explains everything!") always, but to the point where our beliefs become more polarized and distorted, and that effect becomes perpetuated…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 05:16 PM
–

It makes me profoundly melancholic to inform you that to a large degree, that's nonsense. Women refrain from approaching men they are interested in all the time. Yes it's just personal anecdotes; but literally every man and woman probably has at least one story testifying to it. Probably more. That constitutes a preponderance of evidence. caveat; not all women, and not all women all the time. There are exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 05:08 PM
1

You seem to take a pretty extreme stand on this need for a relationship. Or do you think that's "normal"? What specifically does a relationship do for you that friends and family can't (aside from sex)?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:57 PM
1

How much of your viewpoint relates to your antisocial personality disorder?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 09:47 PM
7

Nah, c'mon, women aren't the final arbiters of what makes a man a worthy human being or not. They aren't exactly meticulous judges of character.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 09:41 PM
2

OP was focusing on the positive aspects of "decentering". And that does sound a little wispy, like saying "you want the kind of love that makes you feel like you belong to the human race, but ... how about a nice ... oh I don't know.. cheeseburger instead?" Personally I think male acceptance of other men doesn't have to be modeled on how women do it amongst themselves. There used to be lots of fraternal organizations at one time. They were popular and served the purpose of addressing isolation. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 09:27 PM
–

You need social connection. You don't need pussy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:30 AM
1

Personally no. I've seen friend's parents where either the man or the woman supported an ailing spouse (severe alcoholism was involved in each case). Not always happily, but they stuck it out. I know a bunch of Gen X couples where the woman is seriously ill, to the point of needing assistance with nearly everything, and taken care of by her spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:34 AM
2

Interesting to see otherwise feminist women hamster wheel furiously to defend prescribed gender roles when it comes to this specific topic. Or to deny that those roles exist, suddenly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:03 PM
4

What would it accomplish?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:43 PM
3

why would anybody do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:27 PM
3

Well, they aren't going to sleep with the guy. And they don't necessarily respect him, unless he is funny or genuine, which he may or may not be. I'm not sure what else you expect them to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:19 PM
1

It's not necessarily wrong. It's not like a thought crime or anything. It's more like a matter of taste. We are all shallow about some things. Like why do we value some of the things we value; just because that's what we were told when we were too small to evaluate the statement? But it does sort of slice up and discard parts of reality in what amounts to a ~nearly~ arbitrary way. Which can be regrettable. An example of my own. One of my first relationships was with someone I worked with. We did…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:49 PM
2

Women: "Every man I date turns out to be a narcissist incapable of empathy. But the sexiest quality in a man is confidence" Then wonder why their results are always the same. Conclude it's all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:28 PM
–

Including women up to age 59 in your cited studies seems to throw the curve off a little. I would imagine a 50+ woman's libido is lower than a 25 year old's. As a guy, sex is probably the main channel for experiencing intimacy on such a broad scale, without it you can feel like you have very little connection with humanity. I think that could change if men learned to cultivate friendships and social circles more. The way I was raised, social life wasn't considered that valuable but sex was quasi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:24 PM
3

Possibly it might be like empty calories in terms of meaning, but not necessarily. Lots of shallow people are probably very successful and happy. On the other hand, lots of shallow people are probably very frustrated chasing ideals that are promoted by pop culture, advertising, social media, etc, and generally just being mindless consumers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:14 PM
9

You're really mainlining consuming this kind of media aren't you. To try to answer your title question, it's sort of like groupie behavior when women flock to the popular guy. Guys don't blame the guy but they might be turned off by women who do that sort of thing because it seems shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:05 PM
5

I'll dare say most men want a chance to prove themselves and see if they are compatible rather than being dismissed over trivialities out of hand. However, you can argue that someone's pic on a dating website isn't trivial: it's an actual map of their soul, and you can judge that book by its cover. Some people believe that. I don't think anyone is saying anyone should date a person they are repulsed by. That is a bizarre fantasy and distortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:15 AM
4

I agree with your main title claim but think you went off the rails at a few places. Like the idea that you have to show men "what's in it for them?" before they will support women's rights. I'm going to suggest that "because it's the right thing to do" is and should be a sufficient argument from a reasonable man's perspective. The reason men are resistant to recent trends in feminism is due to a pendulum swing towards populist "feel good" feminism, which is more about feeling good about oneself…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 02:45 PM
2

I agree that smart phones played a part, because then texting via apps became the default, and now communication is heavily truncated to the point that "hey" is regarded as a conversation starter. So not only did scrolling pics become the norm, but conversation, and consequently any sense of a person's personality, devolved into text speak "banter"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:10 PM
1

Nope. The most succesful socities are those in which the individual is the focus, not the collective. History is evidently clear about this. Bro, civil rights movement much? There was a little thing called feminism too, that was a collective movement that changed stuff. Society as a collective has to perceive that there is a problem before it can go about addressing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:28 PM
–

You're describing objectivity. Relationships are subjective. Just like 65% of people think they are smarter than average, or 75% of people think they are better drivers than average, people in relationships, or at work, or where ever, think they are doing more than other people on average. Doing more work, making more sacrifices, etc. This is why therapists can't cure themselves, or do therapy on their relationship partners. It's why we are blind to our biases and privilege. And why online forum…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 01:05 AM
3

Mentioning women's heights as if it matters is throwing me off a little bit. Agree that charisma can overcome lack of looks. Tho Brad Pitt level looks is a type of charisma in and of itself; you don't have to do much to charm at that point, you just have to not mess it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:52 PM
1

Why do you think women desire babies so much?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:22 PM
2

Is this blue pill fantasy fiction? When does this ever happen? Also, her showing interest is a good thing. I hate everything about this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:02 AM
–

That is fair enough. I find P.T. distasteful in general, but that has nothing to do really with this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 10:36 PM
–

<image> I've noticed a long standing trend of anti-male articles in Psychology Today. This one doesn't seem to do more then gloss over the study it references. And doesn't really do much of that. I think it's just published for the sensational title. Here are recent Psychology Today covers. Notice anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 10:15 PM
2

I think women are definitely getting more pragmatic about relationships while guys seem to want to remain in a delusional romantic fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:18 PM
1

Still waiting! A few women have borrowed my heart like an old library book then returned it down the book drop later, maybe just a little worse for wear, but that's still good.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:50 PM
3

It took me a while to figure out what you meant. When I said "if there is a "One", she isn't single", I didn't mean that there was literally some person I was in love with who wasn't single. I was referring to the fact that anyone that nice and easy going is already going to be in a relationship just because they are that nice and easy going. Really, I view "the One" - some person you are metaphysically compatible with - as a mythical figure. She doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:38 PM
1

I've never really believed in a "soul mate" ... well, maybe I was agnostic about it. But the fact is, if there is one, she isn't single. But anyway, I love relationships but have no illusions that they need to last forever to be worthwhile. I never believed in marriage (for many people, though there are some who seem able to pull it off), and early on I decided I didn't even want to live with someone for an extended length of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:10 PM
3

I don't know if that fear is "hard wired". Like when you were a little kid, you didn't fear bigger people until a few bullies kicked your ass a few times. And even then, you probably adjusted behavior, but didn't develop a fear of all men. Part of the development of that fear (maybe the biggest part) is legitimate and reality based, but another part is propaganda and misandry. And having an algorithm full of how awful men are, and how women are victims in waiting, going like a drip-feed every wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:09 PM
–

Disagree that the swamp is 100% on men, since women often fail to exercise their own agency, insisting that the man be the first actor in virtually every situation. "Impress me, chase me, act with confidence (etc)" is the defacto message from women, which men attempt to manage in various ways, successful and not successful. Men are also highly criticized for not competing adequately. Work harder. Improve more. And so on. That leads to the "numbers game" approach which creates the swamp.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:04 PM
–

So are you a good feminist for telling women they do have options and they have control of their dating lives from start to finish? Or are you a bad feminist for not acknowledging that many (most?) women simply cannot\* vet male partners and so dating is really russian roulette for women (except with like 5 bullets in the gun and one blank rather than vise versa), and they should start being happy with giving up, because really, that's probably the best option? * and also insist it is impossible…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 03:56 PM
1

Definitely some cognitive dissonance there. "I don't care, but ... I'll overhaul my personality, overcome shyness, go from being an introvert to an extrovert, pay for and use a gym regularly even though I'm in decent shape anyway, etc, "
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 04:09 PM
1

Gonna disagree there. There are miles of threads on reddit of women who discount compliments from men as meaningless at best and potentially dangerous at worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:34 PM
4

Average men and women don't have as many choices as they may think. Women have more sexual options, but when it comes to relationships, women's options can be limited (in quality anyway) similar to men's. Meaning, most of you aren't going to ever get that top shelf whiskey (I was at the liquor store the other day) that goes for $150+ a bottle. "Top shelf" here being a metaphor for people who are exceptionally attractive or exceptionally psychologically healthy,, exceptionally charismatic, etc). …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:31 PM
5

The problem is people aren't great (understatement) at judging what should be a red flag. Many people hand out blocks almost at random but still end up letting the wrong one in.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:10 PM
–

Across cultures; speculating that maybe ideas of masculinity were imparted by dominating cultures who imposed it on others. Sort of like the idea that "history is written by the winners" only for the spread of ideas and values in prehistory. The Roman Empire and others ruthlessly squashed other types of ideas and values and imposed their own, maybe masculine models were part of the package. 2nd; good question. Is the future genderless? What would a kid really choose if allowed to follow their ow…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 04:40 AM
2

Yup, shyness sucks for everybody. Especially if you aren't good at giving indications of interest. Or have chronic 'resting bitch face' and avoid interacting. Sends the opposite message even if you are interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:28 PM
7

Plus probably stigma against men being dominant. Especially if these studies were conducted on college students. When I was a student it's hard to think of anything less politically correct than a man having fantasies about dominance, except maybe expressing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:34 PM
5

Nothing, you've just historically always said women and males in all of your many, many posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:46 PM
6

Don't you mean "males"? What is this world coming to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:35 PM
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Both genders have fantastical romantic delusions. Dudes are absolute fools in many respects. It's interesting that women generally champion therapy yet the subject of women's attraction remains 100% a sacred cow that must never be questioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:53 PM
2

You're kind of just asking "do you want a trad woman?" the era has nothing to do with it. It's a no for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:44 PM
1

I see your point. Men should support their partners during pregnancy and especially during the 1st year. The way you word your post is troubling though. Why? Because you demand appreciation but give no indication that you know what that is. Men already are more or less disposable in the modern concept of marriage. This purely utilitarian view tends to emphasize that. Still, if a guy wants kids he should be prepared to do what it takes to support, even if his wife sees him as basically a necessar…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:18 PM
2

The problem was your explanation/ rationale. Not having had a relationship was a small hole. You then proceeding to dig it deeper talking about "pretty people". That's the part that was weird. You can be anybody you want, just don't be yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:32 PM
9

It's not strictly a ploy, although there's obvious self interest. But either a man or a woman could be completely delusional about what they want. Men are guilty of this as well. In fact, why do so many marriages fail? Unrealistic expectations. Romantic delusions. Naivete. You're soaking in it. Your tastes may change with experience - for the better. Many older women regret not that they had sex, but whom they got with when they were younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:39 AM
3

Nobody is saying they can't do whatever they want. You're arguing about something completely different. They are saying that your "preferences" might not always be ideal, or as set in stone as people like to claim. Example; some people are drawn to personalities that recapitulate abusive relationships they've had in the past. Now, you can copy and paste that and say "doesn't matter. Their preference." And that's true. But what is also true is that their preference may not be a best option for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:24 AM
8

With the food example though, people can change their tastes as they are exposed to new foods or even just different information about what they are consuming.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 08:48 PM
21

Reasonably argued. I'm an average (at best) guy and I've tried to examine and reexamine who and what I'm attracted to and why. If anyone has problems related to dating it's probably something they should do.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 06:12 PM
7

I focused on rape because that's all anyone talks about in this discussion. I literally cannot win ... goal posts. Wrong. You focused on rape only because you wanted to ignore anything that didn't support your pre-established conclusion. Sexual harassment, dv, abuse, etc are serious issues. So are false claims regarding the same. Not sure why you can't wrap your head around that and need to post this reductive cherry picked mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 03:31 PM
1

That being able to meet people and get to know them doesn't happen often enough to really find a highly compatible mate. Avg Joe might find someone who is in the ballpark once in a while, but the pool of people who are compatible with each other and actually have a chance to interact is reduced or constricted these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:01 PM
5

Once in a while even a blind squirrel finds a nut.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 08:41 PM
3

Some truth to that but it doesn't explain it nearly entirely. Avg guys just don't meet or connect with those whose "looks thresholds differ" as you say. I'm old enough to have had more relationships start through Craigslist ads rather than modern dating apps. W/o pics; just text. People actually read that stuff. People say they read profiles now, but they don't really; there's nothing to read. It's a limited number of characters allowed in some cases. (<< double entendre.) Before Tinder came int…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 07:46 PM
3

Even though this sounds a little like a conspiracy theory, it's kinda hard to argue with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:30 PM
12

Gonna have to disagree somewhat. Capitalism also instills its own values. Is there a lot of overlap with the concept of patriarchy? sure. But the term itself is overworked and stretched thin when applied to every aspect of culture under the sun. Still, can't think of a better replacement term.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:26 PM
1

A kind person with some degree of self awareness and awareness of others and that their experiences will differ from hers, a curious mind, a silly sense of humor, good at communicating, isn't over reliant on emotional reasoning, is neither extreme for extroversion or introversion, likes the outdoors, doesn't have extreme sensitivity issues, with a high libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 05:06 PM
13

And OP's topless bathroom mirror selfies. I'd also recommend considering treating women as people.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 10:53 PM
18

OP needs to learn to read the room. And fix their garbage level OLD profile. Then get a personality. But don't fake it. And quit complaining. It's so unbelievablty easy. Maybe OP should try regular hygiene? I'm amazed no one has suggested that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:57 PM
0

They aren't bad partners, because even if they are slow to commit to monogamy, they are good looking and fun. And they don't have to lie to get women. Listen to women on this one: pretty guys are better partners. Now, there might be some golden halo thing going on. And there may be the opposite as well; casting ugly men as being bad so that your conscience feels better. Studies have shown that we think badly of people whom we treat badly in order to reduce cognitive dissonance. This can be extra…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 06:11 PM
27

No no no! Jesus , Calling all Blue Pill white knights, wake up and roll out of bed, the bat signal is out for you; where are you to tell this woman that it's men's shitty social skills that results in any difficulties like those OP mentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 06:03 PM
1

I don't see how giving vague matches the benefit of the doubt helps Most of them are pretty generic. Don't some apps limit the amount of writing you can do to a few hundred characters? There's no there there, generally speaking. The problem is more the guys who think that once they've matched or exchanged a few texts, they suddenly are owed something by the woman. Women have to be able to ruthlessly manage their time and energy dedicated to these things, and guys who think they suddenly have a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:15 PM
1

Wow. I've never used Hinge but it seems so popular. Now I wonder why.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:11 PM
2

That's a pretty good summary. I don't right swipe everyone, but there is no "undecided" option (there should be, because there's often not enough information to make a decision), so you tend to give the vague ones (and that's a lot of them) the benefit of the doubt because you feel like you should keep as many possibilities open as possible (I get very few matches).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:09 PM
2

I read the profiles. They are about 1/4 the length of your post, and usually are the same stock cliches. It takes literally seconds.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:03 PM
4

Because things like vetting, being realistic, enforcing boundaries, etc, are all life skills everybody needs to learn. Commiserating, or saying "you're perfect, it's men who are monsters" feels good and righteous, but it isn't actionable, unless the action is to quit relationships altogether and feel good about it because 'those grapes were sour anyway'.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:39 PM
4

Ok, then it seems over dramatic and inconsistent to make the grand exit, but never to have spoken up beforehand. It romanticizes not actually communicating when it could have counted for something.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:16 PM
2

I would think it was a little over dramatic but it wouldn't worry me. I've had crushes on people I worked with who were unavailable , and I could coexist with them without suffering existential torment. There are some questions; did we get to know each other enough but I didn't feel attracted enough to ask her out? Or did it not occur to me that she might be interested? If she's capable of a mini 'grand gesture' like that exit, she's capable of asking to get coffee some time. I did have someone …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 04:18 PM
21

Some people don't seem able to accept that women are more welcome in most social settings. There was a thread in one of the women's subs where a transwoman asked why women were smiling at her, was that normal? And the replies, which were in the 100s, said basically, yeah, women smile at other women but not at men. So yeah, the solution people always say is that men should smile at other men more and not look for women to solve their problems of lack of inclusion. And that may be true, but it onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:39 AM
3

Also, who cares? The dehumanization comes from the attitude, not from the word choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 02:57 AM
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A lot of the things women claim they have to do for dating are things no one ever asked for.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:44 PM
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Because long term relationships are difficult with few exceptions. Most people now don't want to sacrifice as much as people did in the past. Now, people cherish their freedom, individuality, independence, and ultimately, their happiness. And that all is fine. The problem arises when people don't own it. They don't recognize it in their own psychological make-up, so they project negativity outward onto their partner, and blame their partner for all manner of neglect and so on. Ultimately, we liv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:37 AM
2

I can't imagine. It sounds like sci fi!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 01:35 AM
3

I knew what you meant. Attractive people, men or women, get treated better by other people all through their lives. Although there can be issues, generally this favorable regard contributes to higher self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 05:16 PM
2

I agree with your points, but I've also seen slightly less attractive guys with high charisma who don't mind putting in the effort. It's like a game to them, they enjoy the cold approach, flirting, etc. It's actually a little creepy to watch someone who has zero social anxiety operate like that. They are hyper extroverts so it's nothing to them to go out every night and hit on new people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 05:05 PM
2

Who says "people don't appreciate something that comes easy to them", attractive people or average people? Who says, "men love the chase", attractive guys , or average guys? Attractive guys aren't necessarily worse, excepting the 'player' types. But attractive guys skew the narrative of what men's experience is by saying things like the above. The "can't appreciate things that come easy" should be a clue that they undervalue some things occasionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 04:59 PM
3

I've found that to be somewhat true. If you are struggling to be average, you are going to get partners who have a little baggage or a few issues, or nothing. This is not a bad thing, because no one is perfect, so you go in with your eyes open at least a little bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:32 PM
3

I don't know if there are better choices to make. People in general have hugely unrealistic expectations about relationships and marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:25 PM
1

I don't think your metaphor really works when you're talking about a one on one relationship. Also, you are confusing bosses with owners. Unless the boss is also the owner, the boss is an employee like everyone else. People who play around with dominance and submission talk a lot about who is actually in charge. From one vantage point you could say the follower is, because the follower sets the guidelines and then finds a leader who can bring energy and creativity to the endeavor -- while keepin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:29 PM
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Women don't have any complaints about how things currently are though, do they? I mean, other than the standard complaints about men, they don't harbor any deep wishes for anything to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:12 AM
1

Also, what sort of emotionally unaware person writes an entire paragraph repeatedly referring to "man", "men" and "females"? Do you not see the signature stigmata of where you've been hanging out (incel world). The OP posts often and always uses the women/males construction. When brought up, she'll bullshit and say "oops forget, spellcheck, etc"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 06:18 PM
9

The world is kinda made for extroverts. A guy here advised that you have to go out and socialize 200 nights a year, or you aren't even trying. And that means initiating social interaction, not just sitting in a corner reading a book. So remake your body, personality and lifestyle. It's easy bro! The complete opposite of "be yourself".
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 05:34 AM
5

High school, where a certain kind of deviance (it can be mild, not always felony level) can be popular.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:07 PM
2

Good questions, OP. Also, why are guys into genetic legacy more than women? Some answers might be the rise of evolutionary psychology as a pop psychology. It seems readily embraced by autistic men particularly, but are autistic women in love with evolutionary psychology as a science that explains all human behavior like men are?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:13 PM
1

Then why do women claim satisfaction in their friendships and family w/o the need for a romantic relationship or sex? Personally, if this post is about the "male loneliness epidemic", it's hard for me to make up my mind whether the lack of quality friendships is the issue, or if the lack of hope for romantic relationships is the issue. I lean toward the former, which seems to be in disagreement with pretty much everyone here. But it's hard to say definitively because if you have a really robust …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:39 AM
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A lot of guys are shy to some degree. They aren't bad people, and might even have a sense of humor or interesting thoughts, but being shy is a death knell for men. Confidence is the gold standard. There is a major double standard here in terms of experience. For men, shyness = terrible personality. For women, shyness isn't regarded as a negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:28 PM
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Some do, but most don't have the option. When you see so many people, men and women, who loathe their ex, did the ex change? This is what people say: that someone just changed personalities and became like another person one day. - Or were these people deluded by romantic myths and hormones from day one? There are lots of men who fall for romance scams, which is the same thing. The advice for men would be a little different since they have fewer options, or options that come along relatively rar…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:13 PM
–

Women choose badly because they have that option available and will swear until the end of the earth that the golden halo that they project around attractive men is not women's own projection, but rather deception on the part of the male (if it should turn out that he drops the facade later for some reason). Everyone projects, but women have the option to acquiesce to it more often than men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:04 PM
4

Guys can't even agree on what loneliness means.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:59 PM
1

I think a weak stereotype could be made for either the tall (over privileged) or the short (bitter beyond hope of rehabilitation) being bad. Depends on which stereotype you decide to lean into. Women seem to by far favor the "unattractive men are bitter" stereotype. I don't see many women saying what the dudes often say about tall "Chads" being inveterate players. But there's so many factors that would have to be weighed, like how many women have how much experience with both, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:26 PM
0

Lots of unattractive men are bitter and resentful though. So what is the implication of this statement. I've heard it often in these conversations. Do you think less attractive men would be less or more grateful for the opportunities that come his way regarding affection, love, and sex? Because this reads as you judging less attractive men by their appearance, the judgment being they aren't capable of gratitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:56 PM
1

I could never imagine meeting someone so compatible with me that we would both want to spend the rest of our lives together intimately bound in marriage. Even when I was in love in my first ever relationship, I could tell that we were different people in some significant ways that probably would matter at some future point. Marriage seems like believing in fairy tales. You hear some married people who are living the dream though. But even then I retain a little skepticism since I have only their…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 07:08 PM
1

Everybody talks about work because it's the biggest and most constant part of your life. For that reason, everyone gossips. I've worked in all male and all female environments and haven't noticed much difference. Workplaces themselves can vary widely. I've worked in an all male space that was awful, then changed to another all male space doing exactly the same thing (but with different dudes) and it was night and day better. Different work groups have different group dynamics. I did work in an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 05:43 PM
3

I'm sympathetic to what's being attempted in these kinds of posts. I think there is something about men's desire for sex (and trying to equate it with meaning) that needs to be examined. But I've yet to see one I believe in. Here, they tend to resort to fantasy pseudo science stories about "muh evolution". On another sub, from a different perspective, they might view it as raging (or whining) male entitlement. As for needs, I get that feeling part of something is a human need. To be shunned or o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 05:10 PM
12

But that's what the internet's for. In person you can maintain that manly facade of stoicism but online you can whinge to your heart's content. I agree that it's maybe not a productive personal habit to indulge in though. Happiness is a learned skill and that isn't going to help. However, complaining does change things in the world. Your own post might not be possible if guys weren't complaining. You would probably think that someone perfect is out there searching for you and you will find them …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 01:10 AM
8

I can understand both views, but only up to a point. From an average guy perspective, most average women are attractive *enough*, but you aren't drawn to them because both of you are in your own worlds, minding your own business. So average Jane is a NPC for average Joe and vise versa. But if average Jane suddenly flirts heavily with average Joe, his whole perception of her can change to where suddenly he's considering her for the starring role in all his fantasies (sexual and non sexual). So it…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:36 PM
1

To some extent perhaps, but even normal women, when I read their criteria for what they are attracted to, their red flags, their "icks", or how they thing dating, courtship, communication,etc, should go, I swear it seems like they are filtering to catch more psychopaths, not less.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:18 PM
1

More inconsiderate than cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:30 PM
3

But the honeymoon faze is the fun part.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 05:30 PM
1

That could well be. You never hear anyone say "maybe therapy is in order" in the comments though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:38 AM
2

Yeah maybe. I'm not a cultural anthropologist, but we seem to have gone from larger family structures down to smaller and smaller units, so maybe the end goal is individuals who have broader community resources to maintain their individuality comfortably. And as a result relationships will trend towards being shorter in duration, with less total "merging" of lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:54 PM
1

Men and women both should monitor the 2X sub for several months. No posting or commenting or voting, just lurk. It will dispel many romantic myths for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:46 PM
10

Empathy for, who, though? Good question. Does this OP exhibit exceptional empathy, for example? Or just in-group bias? Is this OP in any way unusual in the way it represents women? I don't think so. Women's empathy is selective because they have no experience and little comprehension for what the average man experiences, but additionally, they seem to have no interest in it. That is not empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:29 PM
5

Men have done a lot of the competing in women's place, for women. Hard to tell how it would have played out if gender roles hadn't become so divergent. One user here said the only difference is the mushroom clouds would be pink.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 03:11 AM
2

Well... maybe you could say it's the equivalent of farm-to-table? Like shopping at a mom & pop shop. Except for porn. Reducing the role of the middle man. I don't subscribe, I'm just steelmanning the idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:21 PM
3

Men are as prone as anyone to applying vastly over-simplistic gender stereotypes to men. I also think men often have extremely low self awareness about what their issues actually are when it comes to discussing men's problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:19 PM
7

Thank you. It's encouraging to see the number of women pushing back on this kind of gratuitous, gender essentialist, reductive narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:32 PM
10

Your portrayal of guys as soulless automatons with zero emotional intelligence or intellectual curiosity is the most grossly sexist thing I've read this morning.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:24 PM
-2

What rights are women losing? I know abortion is a big one, but that's been on the conservative agenda to do away with for just about forever. Are they getting deported or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 04:14 AM
2

I agree, but OP would just reply "so why don't men talk to each other then, the way me and my girlfriends all do?"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:55 AM
2

We might be in agreement, but what do you mean by 'emotional support'?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:44 AM
3

I agree, men need to get better at doing this. Men are often raised to be uber-competitive with each other, so it would be nice if that were de-emphasized. (That's why I never had a problem with the idea of "participation trophies"' you participated! But that's another issue.) While I agree with the other replies saying romance is different in quality, friendship is still great and will go a long way to assuage loneliness. When I have a rare night out with the guys I always enjoy it and feel mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 06:07 PM
4

Exactly. Men mistake little courtesies from women as indications of interest often enough. They aren't used to it. I have to remind myself that my barista doesn't really care about me, she just wants a quick and pleasant interaction (emphasis on quick) and a tip. Repeat customers are good business.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:33 PM
2

You have to pay extra for the "girlfriend experience" with a prostitute. It's an economic problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:42 AM
29

I don't believe the "loneliness epidemic" is about not being able to hook up. It would be more about lack of social opportunities in general (like the ability to go on dates and have some degree of hope and optimism about them even if they lead nowhere the vast majority of the time).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:36 AM
19

It's not uncommon to see older women write "I seem to match better with younger guys" on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 01:07 AM
3

Is paying for dinner at Olive Garden really going to put you over the top?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 06:52 PM
1

I interpreted "validation" to mean "finding meaning in life" or "experiencing a feeling of self worth"... or some hybrid of those. I realize now that others interpret it differently and I'm probably in the minority the way I was thinking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 11:16 PM
1

I'm not sure you're providing a positive alternative though. You are sort of saying the equivalent of "don't think of an elephant" when you say "don't depend on women for validation". Sorry if you've covered this elsewhere; I'll read other replies later when I get a chance. There is something baked into the very fabric of society: the idea that a man is going to find his most profound experiences in the love of a woman. It's going to take a lot to unweave that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 10:47 PM
1

I think if this is an issue, then something is failing to take the place of romance as the primary focus of life. Maybe male friendships are failing to supply that social need. Or maybe even earlier, family dynamics combined with masculine stereotypes, leave young men ill equipped to be self sufficient and confident (ironically, since confidence is one of the main criteria men are judged by). Like what's gonna take it's place? Is this another hobbies promotion thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 06:53 PM
6

Part of what fuels those beliefs occurs on the front end, when men hear women saying they want a guy who is assertive and confident, and criticizing guys who fall short in those areas as being severely socially challenged and undateable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:00 AM
4

It's interesting that in this thread women as well as men are trying to promote the "men are only into young women" meme. Men in order to humble women, I suppose, because they are jealous of the options they see women having (and bitter about the rejections they get), and women? Why is it important for women to believe this? Just to randomly feel superior to men? That's all I can gather from the tone of their replies. A little bit of sticking the landing in the victim olympics AND you get to por…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 06:41 PM
–

PPD discovers psychoanalysis! Actually - according to the classical models, it's an unpredictable or erratic mother that make kids (not just boys) lack confidence, not a strong mother. In other words, the threat and consequent fear of being rejected and unloved when you were dependent on another person for your emotional well being and physical survival. But I don't see why it couldn't be the father as well ; as long as at least one parent is dependable and neither is an actual survival threat (…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:05 PM
2

I have never seen women care about whether an older man is single. This is disingenuous. Women love to quote statistics about old men dying earlier and being less happy than their married counterparts. If PPD had a bible that would be in it somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:43 PM
1

True, but this is a manifestation of traditional gender roles. If you want a "submissive" woman, then you are by default taking on the responsibility for their experience. It shouldn't be that way; even if one partner is nominally submissive, they should still be giving plenty of feedback and playing an equal part in deciding what the relationship looks like. But it just lazily plays out as the man being the director, producer, actor, writer, etc, of every scene, and the woman is the star (or co…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:31 PM
2

This is also why men have such a hard time "decentering" women. A group like XX exists because conflict between women isnt' permitted. It's portrayed is internalized misogyny and so highly problematic. So women can complain about virtually anything a man does, however trivial, and get 100 other women supporting them and encouraging them to decenter men in her life. No corresponding XY group that focused on decentering women could exist because the men would argue among themselves endlessly, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 03:44 PM
2

It's the female fantasy of Oppression of Women combined w/ the female fantasy of Male Privilege, working overtime to portray this as normal. Unless she lives in someplace other than the west.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 03:35 PM
7

C'mon. Where do you work where the company wouldn't be sued to oblivion for condoning that kind of hostile workplace?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 01:14 AM
52

I'd want to be the safe one and we could role play that I'm the risky one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 12:57 AM
5

Do you have an issue with her regularly watching and fantasizing about them? No, but I'm not sure if women understand that it's not so much the porn actress that men lust after, it's the scenario, or fantasy. I speak for all men (/s)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 11:04 PM
6

Side note; that's interesting about the dancing thing. That often gets recommended to single guys as a way to meet women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:20 PM
4

I don't consider porn akin to cheating, any more than reading erotica or using sex toys is cheating. I think it's reasonable to request he stop using porn if he's too habituated to it, to the point where he needs that visual fantasy to get out of his own head enough to reach the point of orgasm. Personally I'd love to meet a woman who watches porn and wonder if the fact that so many don't is a kind of internalized misogyny (in this case the belief that male sexuality is degrading to women - also…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:02 PM
1

It doesn't bother me but she does it purposely, obviously, and I'm not sure what the point is supposed to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 06:52 PM
–

Interesting how the top threads from women are like "nuh uh".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 02:23 AM
1

Eh, I dunno. I'm a proponent of luck; you have to expose yourself to enough opportunities to find the one that's the right fit. But being attractive makes it so much easier to expose yourself to a large enough sample that the odds go up that one of them will be a very good one. Attractive people have to manage their opportunities, average people have to spend more time searching for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 11:29 PM
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I'd feel great because she's embracing life, if not "to the fullest" exactly, at least something approximate. I'd be happy that she's able to feel, share, trust, love, play, experiment, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:03 AM
1

I agree with everything, but I think men would vent more if they felt "safe" enough to do so. That would be a rare environment though - you can witness for yourself how people come out of the woodwork to berate any guy who says he feels lonely. But men could recognize that you have to vent sometimes (in the right environment) in order to sort out the feelings and - then -see how they are connected to possible solutions.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:24 AM
8

Even if men don’t like to do the talk therapy route. Words need to be said to help explore the problem. One cannot address the problems if no words are said. Very true. I haven't read OP's link yet but I'm puzzled by the idea that I've seen lately that men can't communicate except by some kind of osmosis while they are silently doing other things together. That seems to me to be leaning into the stereotype a little too hard. I agree that there should perhaps be a "safe space" for men to do it, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:27 PM
9

I am going to verbally destroy you before I leave. I will pick on every single vulnerability that you told me about, the ones i observed and give you new ones. That's a weird thing to fantasize about. You make it sound like your plan B. So - could you imagine saying this to someone and then following it with "but you can totally be vulnerable with me!"? Plus what exactly is going to trigger that response. Substandard chore performance? Boredom? No ice cream in the house?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:23 PM
1

For me, it's various readings about western migration in the United States, where the presence of women was said to be a civilizing and uplifting influence in frontier settlements. I don't have a specific source for you, but you can google "Victorian views of women" and find many examples like the following "The ideology that supported this gender separation saw women having different ‘natural’ charcteristics to men. Women’s nature was seen as passive while men’s was active. Women were considere…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:33 PM
8

It's cultural conditioning from practically the beginning of history. In the bible you are commanded to go forth and multiply. (the reason being so that the dominant tribe can stay on top, because having more numbers = more power back then). It was the sin of Onan for men to masturbate. Even in the Victorian Era, when religion had lost its hold somewhat, a man was considered incomplete w/o a woman, who was considered his spiritual superior. Cut to modern times and I believe the cultural legacy o…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 06:52 PM
9

It makes it too easy to take one another for granted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:59 AM
5

You want a girl who’s not shallow? Have a good personality and she’ll most likely not be hot. kind of an odd one.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 08:58 PM
9

I am inherently evil? Not evil, just human. Women are so pedestalized in culture that it's blasphemy to say women are human; they get bored in relationships, they cheat, etc, all this with regularity. Just like all humans. There's nothing exceptional about it. You are neither angel or devil. Or you're both, if you prefer (and are the romantic type).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 02:20 AM
6

This popped up on my feed; other subs are full of men expressing interest in a variety of things. I don't know why this sub insist men are little more than automatons. https://np.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/1hlm1sr/do_men_really_enjoy_going_down_on_a_woman_or_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 02:58 AM
2

Men are interested in the entire range of human experience. They aren't 1 dimensional beings like that other person maintains. Now (!) - sometimes you just want to get off w/o a lot of bells and whistles. But not all the time. Women experience that as well, don't they, at times? And other times it's nice to have the bells or whistles and you don't even need to get off at the end of it. Allowing that there are some people of every gender who are on either side of the continuum of wanting bells, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 12:32 AM
3

Always great when women explain male sexuality so confidently.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 08:09 PM
14

There are a few purple pill women who write very nuanced thoughtful things that don't seem like they are just parroting things their social app algorithms feed them like a slow drip.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:57 PM
1

I don't think this is particularly gendered. Love can change or be ephemeral for both men and women. There might be some mythology that one or the other gender does love better or longer, so it might be good to get free of some of the delusional expectations of that mythology, for men and women, yourself and others. People can change, often do, likely may. Don't let your personality disintegrate if or when they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 06:24 PM
7

The market isn't neutral and unbiased though. The game is rigged against shy introverts to begin with. I'm not into Meyer's-Briggs typology, but lets say you are a shy introvert; Where's your market? If you were in a room of 100 shy introverts, your SMV score would probably be higher than if you were in a room of 100 outgoing extroverts. But when you go out to a bar or most other places, you aren't going to encounter your type in any quantity. And a lot has to do with your presentation and abili…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:59 PM
11

My main complaint is what I think people are getting at when they mention a lack of "3rd spaces"; that is, there's no organic way for the type of assortative mate pairing to take place on any sort of scale that would make these assessments accurate. OLD is literally the best lab we have, only because it's the only place where there's enough of a sample population to infer from. But people insist OLD doesn't reflect real life, and I think there's some truth to that. Or at least that's my cope (th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 07:18 PM
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