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Joxn64 Archive

View 3 posts and 39 comments by Joxn64 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Thanks for your tips. Know that you are insignificant and your actions don't really matter to other people, who'll probably put you out of your mind in a few minutes. Take comfort in this fact and realize that being shy is, thus, pointless. I'll admit it: the mind of a social anxiety sufferer is torturing. I don't believe I'm "insignificant" but I do know intellectually that most ppl don't care or remember my mistakes or faults, yet my emotions and thoughts can go over an embarrassing moment I'v…
/r/seduction02/08/12 02:41 AM
1

Why? I understand this is a big fear, but why? THAT IS WHO YOU ARE It's not who I am all the time, or with everyone. -_- But anyway, I just don't want to be treated like a socially inept loser, or like I'm an idiot because I've never dated and I find it hard to relax around guys, and express myself. I fear being treated different, being judged or ridiculed. I like your advice but I'd never outright tell any guy that stuff. I don't want to be judged or seen in that light. If I got close enough to…
/r/seduction02/08/12 02:28 AM
1

Thanx for your reply. I do need to gain some control over my life. I'm trying by trying by recognizing my issues and attempting to reach out to ppl more. I'll try to smile more, but sometimes I feel like a fool smiling for no reason. Sometimes I find that upon meeting new ppl I smile too much and it seems to almost turn ppl off. Like they can see that it's fake. I keep thinking "be pleasant, smile to show you're happy" and sometimes I think it comes across as too much. As though it's my only exp…
/r/seduction02/08/12 02:14 AM
1

thanx for your reply but I recently moved cities so I have no idea whre improv, or dance classes would be, if I'd be able to afford them, and if I'd even be brave enough to step into ne to be honest... I do have a job in retail, doesn't help much with my social skills outside of the topic of the products I sell though. ex. I can't express myself well, and find it hard for ppl to get to know me. Not something I can learn at work unfortunately. I might check out a coffee shop or something, but I d…
/r/seduction02/08/12 02:05 AM
1

In the social world we're in today, it's much more pressuring for guys to approach girls than the other way around. Stand with confidence, smile to guys and you'll watch them flock to you. I've seen that written in reddit quite a few times now: the whole guys have it harder thing. I'm not a guy so can't confirm or deny this but I know I personally find intertacting with the opposite sex challenging. Anyway, I'm just taking it in baby steps. Maybe we should just practice with each other. I'd say …
/r/seduction02/08/12 01:58 AM
1

i have to agree. I've been in many subreddits asking for advice on building better social skills and self-confidence. Not one person has been able to give me a real answer, other than "Be confident! Love yourself! You shuld be glad you're female, guys have it worse." No offense, but none of that is any real help :/
/r/seduction29/07/12 06:31 AM
1

All is forgiven. About the journal thing, i don't think it'll help me learn to better express myself to others. I write regularly, I'm an Eng major with an interest in fiction writing, etc, but no matter how well I express myself in writing, it doesn't well in my social interactions.
/r/seduction29/07/12 05:18 AM
1

I'll check out the sidebar. As far as your anxieties and what not. You need to work on yourself as far as making yourself interesting. Having hobbies that you are passionate about will also help you build that confidence. Ouch. I never thought I wasn't interesting. I do have hobbies which I engage in. They just don't affect my confidence, as I have trouble expressing myself, making friends and conversing with people, especially guys, and that's where most of my insecurities lay. The silence only…
/r/seduction26/07/12 06:47 PM
1

Wait-- people wanted to talk to me, but didn't because I came off as cold? So the alternative had to be better, even if it was terrifying. So I started doing scary stuff. That was the opposite of me. For the longest time, sometimes even now, I'd rather someone think I'm "cold" than socially inept. -_- But it gets lonely, and I realize I'm only hurting myself. It has been the work of a decade-- I still struggle with it at 30. I still have to gather up my courage and make myself talk to the guy wh…
/r/seduction26/07/12 06:39 PM
2

yeah, i'll continue to read reddit for more help/advice. You seem like a nice girl, take a step at a time and try to relax a bit.Nobody is gonna hurt you, most of guys dream of girls smiling to them. You might want to consider that, look at a guy that you find cute and smile to him, you might enlighten his day ! Thank you. I'll seriously try the smiling thing, but only after I master eye contact with people. I'm pretty bad at it. Also, I never knew guys liked when random girls smiled at them. Th…
/r/seduction26/07/12 06:04 PM
1

Thanks, I think I'll start small with eye contact. Work my way up from there.
/r/seduction26/07/12 03:20 PM
1

Um, I don't care. I came here for CONVERSATION and CONFIDENCE building techniques. Not for some guy to try to put me down and tell me that I'm not "sexy" and "it's no wonder I'm not in a new guy's bed everyday." I don't want that. I don't need every guy in the world to see me as a "sex bomb" I wouldn't like that anyway. I'll be content with a relationship with ONE guy I'm attracted to and have good chemistry with. And it's funny how one day guys like you big up "hot women" who sleep around, and …
/r/seduction26/07/12 03:12 PM
3

I engage in my hobbies often and I still haven't had a confidence boost. I want a tatt in the near future but I'd still like to learn how to speak to people better, especially young guys.
/r/seduction26/07/12 03:16 AM
1

Dude, I've read your advice, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with it or take it. Thanks for taking the time to write but I'm not gonna be a barbiedoll, wifey, male-worshiping housewife. It's just not for me. Never has been. And btw attractiveness isn't measurable by the amount of men or women who approach someone. I come off as distant or cold, so not many guys want to risk approaching me. I do get guys checking me out, and sometimes the braver ones "holler" tactlessly. The lack of guys wh…
/r/seduction26/07/12 03:13 AM
1

Hey, thanks for you post. Unfortunately the majority of your tips go over my head. For starters, I'm no good at starting convos, so I don't see myself walking up to any guy anytime soon and saying "hi" or "how are you?" I'm not the greatest conversationalist, so as soon as the guy responded, if he did at all, I'd have nothing else to say. Its better if you stack forward with a statement then followed by a clarification or a story Not too familiar with the term "stack forward." But I won't be abl…
/r/seduction26/07/12 02:50 AM
1

I def plan to get my hands on that book. About the appearence thing. People say that I'm attractive. I'm not fat either, I want to tone up but ppl don't think I need to. I'm a health nut as well. Please don't tell me what hobbies to indulge in, or try to dictate ways in which I should conform to be society's definition of a female. I dress how I feel. I act how I feel, usually. Sometimes I hide parts of myself out of fear of judgement from ppl, like you, which is ridiculous because I don't care …
/r/seduction26/07/12 02:39 AM
1

Hi, thanks for the advice. It sounds really good, but so much of it is more than I'm capable of right now. I guess I'll try to practice eye contact. I've tried in the past but just chickened out, afraid of being caught staring. After that you can move up to small pieces of conversation, or whatever. As sad as it sounds, I really don't know how to speak to strangers. Even if I could say "hi" to a random guy, I'd literally have no idea what to say after that. I really don't consider myself to be a…
/r/seduction25/07/12 07:02 AM
0

yeah, i know i need more social experience, hence i wanna learn how to be a better conversationalist. just in search of techniques right now.
/r/seduction25/07/12 06:48 AM
1

thanks you the book suggestion. i've heard of it before. I guess I'll give it a read after i finish the book i'm reading now. About saying "hi" to a stranger, even if I work up the courage to do that, I wouldn't know what to do or say afterwards. I swear, it would go like this: me: hi random guy: um...hi me:... i don't consider myself to be a great conversationalist. I'm sure I'm way worse with ppl I don't know. the only way to get over approach/social anxiety (really, any fear) is by doing it. …
/r/seduction25/07/12 06:46 AM
1

thanks for the breakdown. i'll have to gain the confidence to actually try this with someone.
/r/seduction25/07/12 06:41 AM
1

Alright, hope to hear from you when you get the chance. ;p
/r/seduction20/07/12 03:22 PM
1

I'll check out f) hopefully it translates the same for females. thx
/r/seduction12/07/12 04:16 PM
1

thx for your reply, unfortunately i still disagree with some of what you've written. If the majority of ppl have intense anxiety even looking at someone else in public, smiling at them, eating in public, then that would indicate that most ppl suffer from social anxiety as well. This is not the case. There's a difference between being nervous about a party for example, but still going, and being anxious about a party, and thus avoiding it. Most ppl are like the former. Those of us who avoid scary…
/r/seduction12/07/12 03:01 PM
1

thx for your advice. eye contact def seems like the best thing for me to start off with. I get really shy though, and sometimes i want to but can't bring myself to look someone in the eyes. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's really hard for me. :( I need to build up my confidence somehow.
/r/seduction12/07/12 07:07 AM
1

i've tried this. oddly enough it doesn't translate well to guys i like. i can chat up guys i have no interest in (on occasion) i can barely look at guys i like.
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:56 AM
1

Great response! but it somehow made me feel worse. How do I start "small and build on your abilities to push through your self fears. Build confidence in your abilities to push through." It sounds like a good idea, but i don't know how to begin. As well, I'd like to believe that my emotions are normal. But I don't believe most ppl feel fear and anxiety to the extent i do in common situations like eating along in public, speaking in class, looking at an attractive member of the opposite sex, look…
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:55 AM
1

hm, it's funny cuz i once tried to "own" my nervousness, i fidgeted and played with my hair etc. the guy i was attracted to, who seemed to be attracted to me only stared at me more often and more boldly (wasn't afraid i'd catch him, since he knew i was nervous). Needless to say nothing came of that. :p
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:45 AM
1

really? thank sounds interesting. i'm from Canada.
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:40 AM
1

lol it's easier to type than talk to someone in rl. I think this is the most active seduction community here, so don't let these guys push you away to women's PUA, plenty of women post here too so don't worry. thanx, i don't plan to. :) i don't really go to bars, but i'll try to remember that one for one day in the future when i'm far more confident. what drink do i buy him? lol
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:39 AM
2

thank for your post, you made some good points. good luck, i'm sure You'll find someone soon. As for me, I don't have the confidence to ask out guys, I also have this stigma that if I have to ask a guy out, he doesn't really like me, and will either turn me down or string me along and use me. i know this isn't always the case, but I can't help feeling like if he was interested, he'd approach me. On top of this, i just don't know what to say. :9
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:35 AM
1

i get shy/awkward around new ppl in general (especially when their around my age/attractive). I'm better with children and adults than my peers, i guess i fear judgement, and rejection. I'm better with girls than guys though. I rarely ever interact with guys my age. i just moved cities and have my own business with my sister, it's a full-time job, so i haven't had time to check out classes/hobbies in the area yet. i'll look around when i get the chance. what country are you from? N America, West…
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:19 AM
1

yeah i deleted them a while back
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:14 AM
1

thanks for your post, but this is why i'm here. i have trouble with eye contact, smiling at guys, etc. it's far easier to know these "techniques" internally, for me, than to actually perform them in public. i smiled at a male barista today, which was hard, so i'm trying. it's wayyy harder when i'm attracted to the guy though
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:13 AM
1

i'm fine in the a) department. ppl don't really say bad things about my appearance. b) can you explain more? :o d)i'm trying to, but going it alone is tough. sometimes it feels like i'm making progress, other times it feels like i'm right back where i started. i don't know when i'll actually be "cured" at this rate or if it's possible. i'm working on finding a therapist. f.) not too sure what this means. but i'll search around the r/seduction community more when time permits.
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:05 AM
1

lol i've done this once before by accident. i was still self-conscious but a bit too 'buzzed' to be 'shy' if that makes sense. i don't want to rely on booze to talk to ppl though, and form relationships. just doesn't appeal to me.
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:00 AM
1

haha, well good luck to you. I actually want a guy who can help me push myself out of my comfort zone a bit. I don't mind shyer/quieter guys as long as they're more out-going than me. Nothing ever comes of two super shy/awkward ppl in my experience. :(
/r/seduction10/07/12 05:29 PM
2

I don't like the first solution, very grade school. -_- the second one is all right, but I don't see myself enrolling in anything atm (not in school right now). I'll check out the "women's PUA" as well. But I was told by redditors in a diff subreddit to come here.
/r/seduction10/07/12 05:26 PM
1

i don't unfortunately. not since hs.
/r/seduction10/07/12 05:23 PM
1

you can check my "submitted" history. i posted in amiugly/sexy a few months back and the comments were quite positive in general.
/r/seduction10/07/12 05:23 PM
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