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Justwannaread3 Archive

View 1 post and 1,677 comments by Justwannaread3 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

One place to start might be to intentionally confront your biases (look up CBT for information on why the active confrontation of negative thought patterns can be helpful). For example, when I first posed my thought experiment, you immediately assumed I was saying something to play into stereotypes about bisexual men being promiscuous, even though I said nothing about bisexual men at all. That suggests to me you might have a bias where you are looking for biphobia. Biphobia is definitely real an…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/26 01:53 AM
2

I think that’s a smart reply. It’s healthier to be in relationships with partners who trust you, who do not disdain you, and who are not anxiously ruminating on possible future behavior. Perhaps your distrust of women is something you will need to work out yourself too.
/r/ExRedPill01/02/26 01:28 AM
2

Google is your friend here. More married men report extra-marital sex than do married women — that’s just a fact. But I was actually asking you to engage in a thought experiment, which you have missed entirely. If you were speaking with a woman who told you that she couldn’t trust you or any men romantically because of her individual experience (being cheated on by multiple male partners), what would you say to her?
/r/ExRedPill01/02/26 01:20 AM
2

No, the presumption is based on the fact that men as a gender class are overall more likely to cheat than women.
/r/ExRedPill01/02/26 01:10 AM
2

What would you say to a woman who has been cheated on by multiple male partners if she told you she didn’t think she could trust you not to cheat on her?
/r/ExRedPill01/02/26 12:52 AM
16

Every relationship is a risk, for everyone. Women too. Plenty of us have been cheated on by male partners. Plenty of us have had our hearts broken. And there’s, ya know, rape and abuse etc. Being sexually violated was defs worse than the cheating in my experience. In fact you probably ought to expect to face a certain amount of emotional pain if you start dating, because it’s quite unlikely that the first person you date is going to be the last person you date. I don’t think anyone can or should…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/25 02:35 AM
3

Good luck, please feel free to DM any time and also check out r/incelexit — I’m pretty active there and the moderation is much better than it is here imo Literally just flood him with books about women and girls Make him sit through pride and prejudice with you or whatever else it takes!!
/r/ExRedPill11/11/24 02:24 PM
7

The first thing I would say is this: he is 11. Your sister still has a great measure of control over his life. If you have the resources to do this, get him offline and into IRL activities. Make him play a sport and join a book club (your city may have rec teams and your library probably has a book club). Make him watch family movies with you and your sister in the evening after homework is done — choose those movies wisely. Make him read outside of book club though, and choose those books yours…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/24 02:07 PM
4

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. Is your sibling aware of the issue with their child and supportive of working with you to try to help?
/r/ExRedPill11/11/24 01:45 PM
12

You don’t have to listen or seek out that online content (which, if you keep seeing it, means your algorithms are feeding it to you).
/r/ExRedPill16/10/24 06:18 PM
7

It might be helpful to think about how platonic relationships form — you’re not going to become best friends all at once. It takes time to grow closer, become more comfortable with one another, and open up. I bet you wouldn’t worry so much about the texting thing if you were just making a new guy friend you’d only hung out with four times! It’s (often) not that different when it comes to romantic interactions. Does that framing make sense?
/r/ExRedPill09/10/24 03:57 PM
15

Please do not blame your insecurity on her texting habits. You need to be able to be secure without relying on her to soothe you. Insecurity is a YOU thing; it’s something internal. And it will ruin this relationship if you let it. It’s normal not to text constantly so early on in dating someone.
/r/ExRedPill09/10/24 02:55 PM
12

This isn’t about “uncertainty”; it’s a matter of your insecurity and anxiety. If you’re just beginning to date someone (like if you’ve only gone out once), it’s normal to not be texting constantly. Cold approaching is generally a bad way to connect with people — you don’t actually know anything about them!
/r/ExRedPill06/10/24 05:13 PM
38

A good relationship > being single > a relationship with a guy who does not pull his weight, is emotionally manipulative, is abusive, or otherwise sucks.
/r/ExRedPill29/09/24 07:29 PM
10

Well you say you come across as “needy.” The first thing you do is stop feeling like you need romantic success.
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 03:05 PM
12

Well you sound entitled and that probably doesn’t help. “Cold approaching” is a terrible way to make romantic connections in general.
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 02:13 PM
12

So some men saying that women are “invisible” after they turn 30 doesn’t mean that all men think that. It would be a really silly thing to believe anyway, given how common it is for people to get married after age 30. And if you see an example of a woman “monkey branching,” it doesn’t mean all women do that either. If I only based my opinion off Reddit stories, I’d believe that men were primarily “opportunistic lovers” given how often they seem to expect the women they are romantically attached …
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 04:50 AM
14

If one man does something bad — like cheat on his girlfriend, for example — that doesn’t mean every man is a cheater, right?
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 04:23 AM
23

I’ve heard it all. Some women are mercurial, cruel, and selfish. Some are the opposite. The same is true of men. We’re just people and it’s sad that this ideology of extremism — because that’s what it is, extremism — is convincing some men to see us as so “other.”
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 04:14 AM
39

I’m a woman, and instead of getting into how all of those examples are inherently demeaning and dehumanizing to women, how they’re damaging to you, and how they’re refutable by just looking around, I’ll just say this: You’re wrong. I’m a woman. I’m in a relationship. I know other women in relationships. And none of those examples you “could go on and on” with are applicable to me or the women I am close to. It is hurtful to keep seeing men say this shit about half the human race. I’m tired of it…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 04:01 AM
5

I think you almost certainly HAVE come across women who “adore” their male romantic partners and you just didn’t recognize it. You only get the tiniest glimpse into people’s lives — both IRL and online. You’re not in their relationships. You just don’t know.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/24 07:38 PM
17

And maybe that past relationship is the reason she’s such a loving partner to OP.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/24 11:25 PM
36

Is he touching her now? No. Your girlfriend did not spring forth from nothing when you met. She has a past; we all do. And her past makes her who she is today. Nothing about your girlfriend having had sex with a past partner degrades you. In fact it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/24 11:13 PM
30

Let’s talk about why people feel stuck in relationships! She might have felt guilt about ending things because she was worried her ex would feel like he’d been led on. She might have been worried she would never find another partner (men online often demean women for being “used goods”). She might have past experiences that made her feel a lack of self worth or like she couldn’t speak up for herself. She might have been worried about how he would react. You sound insecure and uncaring.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/24 11:04 PM
88

They hate women. They hate that women now have personal autonomy and don’t have to stay with the fathers of their children. They hate that women slept with those fathers of their children instead of them. They hate that women have sexual experience (because if you have a kid, you had sex). They hate when women don’t conform to their perfect vision of a woman and are older or overweight.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/24 09:12 PM
3

I think most of us have to build that relationship at some point. I certainly do. My - not hatred - but occasional displeasure with my appearance ends up making me feel that personality based compliments are much more meaningful to me, so I have to consciously choose to appreciate when people who care about me compliment my appearance.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/24 04:18 AM
11

I actually breathed a sigh of relief just do whatever makes you happy I so agree.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/24 04:15 AM
12

The intent of the person giving the compliment is what determines whether or not it is genuine.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/24 04:15 AM
19

Oh this guy believes that “every man should be able to live that lifestyle… pumping and dumping women, ghosting them after sex” so pretty clear where his mindset is.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/24 03:39 AM
31

So compliments about your appearance are “genuine” but compliments about your personality aren’t? I don’t understand this at all. Your personality is who you are! Your physique is just the meat suit that carries the brain that is you.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/24 03:04 AM
6

That’s not where OP was coming from, luckily. Glad you made it out the other side!
/r/ExRedPill13/09/24 09:59 PM
10

Log out / delete your account Take the app off your phone Pick up a new hobby that makes it impossible to use your phone while you do it (pottery? Cooking? Woodwork?) It’s hard to quit things cold turkey, I know, but the BEST way to get back at the manosphere misogynists is just to be a woman who is happy
/r/ExRedPill13/09/24 09:14 PM
10

Oh I spent time on PPD too. It pissed me off. So I took a good long break from Reddit a couple times and that helped a lot.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/24 09:11 PM
15

It’s truly not worth your head space.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/24 09:07 PM
35

If you’re feeling drawn in, that’s a sign for you to step away for a while. And fwiw, most “evolutionary psych” is bs.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/24 09:02 PM
2

Oh well this feels like an avenue worthy of further investigation. How would you feel about asking outright if they could send a text to the friend they’re thinking of setting you up with? As a gentle reminder.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 10:20 PM
5

Seems like those are great opportunities to expand your social networks, even if the women you meet at those specific events are not single. I’ve been set up before by mutual friends.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 10:11 PM
6

Yeah what one wants on that table all depends on the person
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 10:07 PM
6

Where besides apps are you trying to meet women? I take it your riding facility?
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 09:49 PM
19

You should go to incel exit not because you’re an incel but because the moderators are very attentive at keeping out bad, unhelpful actors in a way that this sub sometimes isn’t. There are also often, in my experience, more women who comment in that sub if you are interested in hearing from women specifically. I think it’s also very likely that you have met women whose accomplishments, behavior, and habits would “check all your relationship boxes.” We don’t know everything about every person we …
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 09:35 PM
7

Same.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 09:19 PM
25

I think you know that turning your frustrations outward and “blaming” women for not dating you (declining to date you is not finding you invisible) isn’t the solution here. I think you probably know that there are plenty of women who find themselves in unhealthy situations for all sorts of reasons, and that they may feel stuck for all sorts of reasons. I think you probably know that the “man hating” you see is overblown by social media algorithms and that a couple’s consensual sex life is their …
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 09:18 PM
9

As a woman, the solution is not to stop being polite to women. You don’t have to pay for every date, but if you’re in a scenario where you’d hold the door open for another guy, you can hold it open for a woman too. Being polite and communicative are not bad things and it’s unhelpful of this commenter to suggest so.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 09:12 PM
7

No he’s saying to go about “cold approaching” and “online dating” WHILE WITH THE CURRENT GF.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 01:30 AM
35

Then why would your girlfriend leave you for a random man?
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 12:40 AM
13

I hope they ban you. You are advocating a man cheat on his partner. That is absolutely the antithesis of ethical.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 12:38 AM
14

That is ABSOLUTELY not the “only” way to develop secure attachment. It is certainly not an ethical or healthy way.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 12:30 AM
19

You’re in EX RedPill and trying to convince this guy to play dread game Gross
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 12:25 AM
25

Would you leave your girlfriend on a whim if a “better” woman came knocking?
/r/ExRedPill09/09/24 12:21 AM
25

Your partner doesn’t respect women. He says you’re an “exception” — but what about the women in your life? What about if you had a daughter? Do you and they deserve to have someone around them who hates women?
/r/ExRedPill05/09/24 08:08 PM
60

I think you should head over to r/ incelexit, but here’s the first thing you need to do: Stop consuming ANY “pill shit.” Clear your cache. Wipe your browser memory. Look up videos of funny animals for a while. Next, sign up for therapy.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/24 06:21 PM
17

You will get through it. I think there is also room for you to grow here. There are men who won’t feel that their masculinity is “invalidated” regardless of the split of duties or roles in a relationship. If you want to take on the more standard “housewife” role and find a partner who wants that too, that’s great! But nothing about YOU is something that will inherently make any man feel “less masculine.” You could be the most badass boss bitch in a boardroom and find men who are just as secure i…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/24 03:21 PM
33

This is his loss, not yours. You will move on. He is stuck. All my best wishes to you.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/24 02:56 PM
19

I realize height is extremely important to women and they consider short guys to be ugly; that's fine, it's their life, their prerogative. Learning to make my peace. It’s always a relief to have men tell us what we really think and feel. I hear and see way more men bemoaning women’s opinions on height than I do women who talk about finding short men unattractive. Stop making generalizations about women and assuming you know better than individual women do about what they like.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/24 10:21 PM
8

It sure wasn’t women making Ashley Madison’s founder rich
/r/ExRedPill11/06/24 11:50 PM
1

Way to decide you know the motivations and desires of a whole generation of women
/r/ExRedPill04/06/24 07:11 PM
27

Why doesn’t attraction work for most men the way it works for most women? Men seem to have an immediate ‘hot or not’ gauge that won’t let them develop sexual or physical attraction based on other attributes, even though we all know that attraction based on emotional or mental chemistry while physical chemistry grows later is the real attraction and is so much more genuine than what men feel. Obviously, all male attraction is reserved for Stacies — just look at the way women who are fat or flat a…
/r/ExRedPill29/05/24 03:27 AM
1

I have had amazing “mental connections” & personality chemistry with someone who I just couldn’t get there for physically — even though he was very much they “type” I had been attracted to in the past and the horrible rating subs would probably find him on par with other men I have been physically attracted to. It was honestly disappointing!
/r/ExRedPill15/05/24 05:25 PM
4

… has he read a book yet
/r/ExRedPill15/05/24 05:21 PM
4

I have a partner now, yes. I have also experienced plenty of romantic rejection. I have been deeply hurt by it. And I had to get to a point where I was happy alone before I could possibly have a healthy relationship with someone else.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 10:21 PM
8

Do you think what you just wrote is helpful to you?
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 09:16 PM
9

What you appear to be doing is carastrophizing and dwelling in your misery, rather than seeking healthier outlets and attempting to rewire your unhealthy thought patterns.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 09:11 PM
12

Is it possible that nothing is “wrong” with you, but that you just haven’t had the luck (and it does take a certain amount of luck) to click with someone who clicks back with you? No one is entitled to be the object of another person’s romantic interest. We’re just not. That means that some people might get dealt a bad hand romantically even when nothing is “wrong” with them. But you know what? Life really isn’t fair. People are dealt all kinds of bad hands in all sorts of situations. Are you go…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 08:45 PM
9

New Zealand is pretty notoriously bad for women and girls in terms of domestic violence.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 08:42 PM
28

Feeling “empty” is a common indicator of depression and I agree that mental health support is something you should seek out.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 08:01 PM
40

You don’t need to feel that “I’m in love” feeling yet. Love takes time to grow and you’ve only known this girl for a few months. Feeling empty is likely more a symptom of your inner emotional state than anything to do with this relationship.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 07:22 PM
46

It’s common to lose the “butterflies” (or New Relationship Energy) after a while. Why do you think you’re feeling “empty” if you say you still enjoy spending time with her?
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 07:04 PM
43

And this also plays into why (many) older women say that women have to learn not to date “players.” They might not seem awful up front, but once you have experienced their misogyny, poor behavior etc, you may then choose to avoid them.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/24 07:37 PM
3

Cancer sucks. Rooting for you both.
/r/ExRedPill24/04/24 02:33 AM
9

As I already said: I do it because I care about him and love him.
/r/ExRedPill24/04/24 02:26 AM
11

Probably hundreds of millions of women every day show genuine care and love for their partners in ways big or small. I’ve picked up my SO’s favorite treats when I know he’s coming home from a stressful day at work. I have made reservations or booked tickets or appointments because that is one small thing I can take off his plate. I have taken his car in for repair even though I never use it because it was more convenient for me than him. None of this has anything to do with his “status” — I do i…
/r/ExRedPill23/04/24 06:19 PM
5

Laura Bates’ books on misogyny and “Men Who Hate Women”
/r/ExRedPill15/04/24 07:30 PM
15

Far more than 10% or 20% of men — including young men — are in relationships. Do you think that the majority of people in relationships do not truly love each other? And do you truly think that fixating on reproduction rates of the past — when war and famine and pestilence abounded even more than today — is in any way actually helpful?
/r/ExRedPill09/04/24 09:04 PM
15

Can confirm; the men in my life care about and value women as individual human beings!!!
/r/ExRedPill08/04/24 12:37 AM
11

Do you not think physical attraction is real if it isn’t immediate?
/r/ExRedPill07/04/24 04:24 PM
29

I’ve been incredibly physically attracted to men who I now think are ugly, so physical attraction can absolutely be mutable.
/r/ExRedPill06/04/24 11:30 PM
1

I think it’s important that you know that feminists generally agree that the patriarchy is harmful to both women and men. The point to recognize is that all women are oppressed by patriarchy, while all men are in some ways advantaged by it (while still acknowledging the harm it causes men). You may want to visit r/ askfeminists.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/24 07:29 PM
10

I urge you to stop consuming misogynistic “pill” content — it’s doing to you exactly what it’s designed to: make you feel lesser and constantly insecure. I started to feel like I’m the bad guy here Why? You’ve presumably never mistreated a partner the way RedPill describes women always acting? (That alone is evidence that the pills are wrong.) I support feminism… when needed You should consider learning some more about feminism. We always need feminism.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/24 04:11 PM
2

The fact that you felt compelled to write this suggests that your personal interactions might be offensive.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/24 01:55 PM
8

Some might be offended without being “shitty women,” depending on the circumstances of the interaction.
/r/ExRedPill02/04/24 01:10 PM
14

I heard so much about women still expecting gender roles to be traditional with the man earning more I’m a woman, and I don’t hear this! Try searching this question in ask women (I’m sure it’s been asked before) and I bet you’ll find that there are a whole lot of women who don’t expect their partner to earn more. Most often, I just hear women say that they want a partner who is able to support himself and who isn’t a drain on their partner’s finances.
/r/ExRedPill01/04/24 11:21 PM
15

Yes, some women have deeply internalized misogyny and care most about a man’s physical appearance. Some men target women with low self-esteem. Some women haven’t learned better yet.
/r/ExRedPill31/03/24 07:06 PM
32

It’s cool that you are so confident that you understand how sexual desire works for a girl you have never even met yet. Edit: Read your comment history. Is this some kind of fetish?
/r/ExRedPill28/03/24 09:49 PM
15

Probably shouldn’t be encouraging people to literally go down the red pill rabbit hole. That’s how indoctrination happens.
/r/ExRedPill26/03/24 03:40 PM
6

The “red pill” and “black pill” are misogynistic cults. Feminism is a movement that centers equality for women. Learning about feminism and the struggles women face will be an important step for you to reject misogyny. (And of course feminists may seem “distant” to you when discussing “male issues” — feminism is a system of belief and values that doesn’t center men. You live in a world where men are centered. The change may seem strange to you.)
/r/ExRedPill25/03/24 08:45 PM
7

Why do you have a problem with women finding people attractive?
/r/ExRedPill18/03/24 01:34 AM
13

Calling men’s attraction “objective” while women’s is driven by “emotional beer goggles” is seriously unhelpful and bordering on misogynistic.
/r/ExRedPill17/03/24 09:15 PM
8

I think some people identify all confidence as arrogance.
/r/ExRedPill15/03/24 05:10 PM
14

Not saying this is what OP is doing, but so many pulled guys also seem to not recognize normal social behavior for what it is. Someone not finding you romantically interesting doesn’t mean they hate you, for example. Most people don’t consider others “repulsive” if they don’t know them — they are mostly neutral. And I’ve seen so many guys say they’re getting “rejected” just when a girl already has a boyfriend.
/r/ExRedPill15/03/24 04:14 PM
19

Or he is conflating confidence and arrogance…
/r/ExRedPill15/03/24 04:08 PM
14

The “blue pill” isn’t a thing; it’s just living like a normal person. Having an idealized view of women and/or relationships isn’t a feature of being “blue pilled.”
/r/ExRedPill14/03/24 03:53 PM
6

I’ve seen a lot of empathy for men in feminist circles, and very little claiming that they are “oppressive monsters.” Acknowledging the patriarchy harms men while oppressing women is not claiming that individual men are oppressors. Centering the needs of women and encouraging men to form their own networks for change and support is not being un-empathetic, or taunting or mocking or hating their guts.
/r/ExRedPill13/03/24 04:59 PM
4

The circumstances around her getting pregnant are entirely separate from the violating scene, so sounds like you’ve heard some inaccurate takes. And again, I think you should watch season TWO and focus on other characters in season one. I also suggested several other pieces romantic media which you ignored entirely.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 03:42 PM
4

Seems like she’s not devoid of personality then? (And no, she doesn’t force him to have a kid when he doesn’t want to. He changes his mind about children; she doesn’t get pregnant until he changes his mind.) Watch season 2. Watch season 1 for the characters of Marina Thompson, Penelope Featherington, and Siena Rosso, none of whom are devoid of personality and all of whom are active participants in their romantic lives.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 03:38 PM
5

Go watch Bridgerton or Virgin River on Netflix. Read any Emily Henry novel. This is just an absurdly myopic view.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 03:33 PM
51

I also have no idea how he thinks men like their partners more than women like theirs. Has he seen the way men talk about their girlfriends or wives online? What about the video going around of a groom who held up a “help me” sign behind his back at the altar? Or the groom who ruined their vows by belittling his soon to be wife? What about all the many, many situations you see on reddit where a woman is asking how to get a clearly horrible partner to step up just a little more so their relations…
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 01:10 PM
13

“You’re his wife, not his mom,” is usually said when then husband does even less, or creates even more work.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 12:48 PM
17

This isn’t even to that level. This is the NORMAL stuff.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 12:47 PM
20

Remembering all the birthdays, anniversaries, etc for both their partner and themselves — and both their extended families. This is called “kin keeping.” Making all the appointments for everyone in their family and reminding their spouse to go. Managing the household’s mental load — like remembering that the guest bathroom is out of Clorox and someone has to buy more, or that it’s time to change the air conditioner filter. Being expected to take on the brunt of child care and child rearing, even…
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 12:44 PM
26

Just societally it seems like men are expected to be more active in the relationship whereas women are more passive You’ve discovered culturally enforced patriarchal gender roles. Men’s “active” effort is usually more showy, but women’s “passive” effort is often harder work requiring more from them.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 12:35 PM
8

And things like wanting to only date virgin women when they aren’t virgins, wanting a woman who will be submissive but won’t be a “gold digger”, wanting a woman to act like a trad wife but still pay 50/50
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 12:26 PM
17

Even when relationships don’t have “traditional gender roles” and both partners work, women end up doing MORE than their fair share.
/r/ExRedPill11/03/24 12:24 PM
8

Good for you for deradicalizing. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.
/r/ExRedPill10/03/24 12:09 AM
10

I think you’ve just been exposed to online toxicity, which is very common. Try spending time in r/ askfeminists
/r/ExRedPill09/03/24 11:35 PM
11

Feminists believe that the patriarchy harms women AND men. Feminism believes that women are oppressed under patriarchy and that men do not deal with that oppression based on sex.
/r/ExRedPill09/03/24 11:27 PM
11

Obviously because women live life on easy mode didn’t you know /s
/r/ExRedPill09/03/24 06:30 PM
19

It would seem to me that posters in exredpill are primarily men looking for empathy. Women regularly offer that empathy here and in incelexit.
/r/ExRedPill09/03/24 03:30 AM
32

I absolutely don’t see greater empathy expected of men, especially online.
/r/ExRedPill08/03/24 11:38 PM
26

It’s the misogyny.
/r/ExRedPill05/03/24 07:47 PM
–

Says the person who hasn’t experienced either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:25 AM
–

I’m sorry you’re so jaded as to disbelieve that women can be loving in their relationships just because you haven’t experienced it yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:17 AM
–

No. I am describing the dynamics of my romantic relationships, into which you have no insight.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:08 AM
–

So you think art can only be considered “beautiful” if it appeals to the male gaze. That’s a condition you left unspecified and I would suggest is rooted in misogynistic determinations of the value of artists’ work.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 09:00 PM
–

What art have women created as a dedication to the person they love? Much of Taylor Swift’s albums “Reputation” and “Lover” are very explicitly about the joy and love she felt for her then-partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 08:57 PM
–

What an absurd take. As a woman, I’ve almost always been the more outwardly loving person in my relationships with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 08:48 PM
–

Have you heard of Sappho Emily Dickinson Elizabeth Barrett Browning Taylor Swift, for goodness sake
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 08:41 PM
1

Genuinely, it seems like you completely missed the point of this post.
/r/ExRedPill24/02/24 09:31 PM
11

Your second paragraph literally reeks of misogyny. ETA: actually, it reeks of sexism because it contains horrible gendered stereotypes about men too.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/24 03:50 AM
1

Appreciate having a thoughtful discussion in here! Yes I totally believe we need to be doing more societally to teach people to identify their needs and emotions so that they can examine them critically — ie so that if you need greater control in your life because you’re in an unstable or unhealthy environment, you don’t extend that necessary desire for stability to a sense of entitlement.
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 08:58 PM
1

I agree with all of this but I think it’s really important to point out, though, that some of “what men are looking for that they’re asking RedPill to solve” is simply unreasonable and invalid. For example, you’ll find many pill spaces advocate a return to “traditional feminine roles” so men can feel more control, more masculine, more powerful, etc. That’s not a valid desire on their part. Men on a societal scale don’t get to return to the position of having the level of control over women that …
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 08:37 PM
4

Ok: Your third point, about fearing that a person who has had prior casual experiences could prove to want to jump from relationship to relationship and “monkey branch” you, is likely rooted in stereotypes (often misogynistic) that abound in “pilled” spaces. Happy?
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 02:54 AM
10

Wanting a partner who has a similar attitude towards sex and relationships as you do is not inherently misogynistic. It is repeated over and over, as I’m sure you’ve seen, that men are free to have preferences or to decline to date anyone. The issue is when they become assholes about it or their “reasons” are rooted in misogyny. I myself have pointed out in this sub — like, yesterday! — that a disinclination for casual sex because of a concern for sexual health is not inherently misogynistic. Wa…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 02:49 AM
17

It makes me feel so, so loving towards and loved by my partner when he expresses himself emotionally. It’s hard for him to be emotionally open, and I wish he could be more so, but he makes a real effort and that also means the world to me.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 09:48 PM
9

No.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 09:22 PM
16

I think the true test is if the relationship ended would they still be attracted to the person. If not, they're not really attracted. Like I said, it's just wearing emotional beer goggles This is completely wrong. It just proves that you’re incapable of understanding that the way sexual and physical attraction works for you is not how it works for everyone. There are men in my past who I have considered incredibly physically and sexually attractive. After our interactions ended, I was often no l…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 08:57 PM
3

But that’s not what you said. You said “with personality,” not “the best personality.”
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 07:53 PM
8

The most beautiful woman with personality As a woman in a very loving relationship full of physical and emotional attraction, this sounds insane. I’m not blind; I see men who are “objectively more physically attractive” than my partner. Many of them probably have decent personalities — I could probably get on well romantically with a handful. But they’re not my person. It doesn’t matter how “hot” they are — they don’t have his personality, his values and goals, or all the things that make him hi…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 07:50 PM
6

I think it also is very likely that it was more common for women in past generations to look for a “provider” partner rather than prioritizing finding someone she was attracted to physically and emotionally. I don’t think that all (or even most) women did this in the past, but it definitely would’ve been necessary for some.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 07:21 PM
18

I think OP also wants women’s attraction to work exactly like it does for (many/most) men when it just… doesn’t. Like I’ve been online enough to know that an absurd percentage of men truly do “quantify” or judge the physical attractiveness of any woman they see, whether that’s on a scale of 1-10 or just “hot or not.” And (most) women don’t seem to do that.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 07:20 PM
34

You’ve had YOUR experience. You’ve never had the experience of being a fat woman — or a woman over 40, or a single mom, or a woman who isn’t conventionally attractive. You don’t know how their experience compares to yours.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 06:25 AM
53

“Getting tons of matches” ≠ “having more options” when you are looking for something specific, like a guy who wants exclusivity and commitment, who shares your values, and who doesn’t creep you out, for example.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 03:54 AM
21

First of all, men can signal to women that they are non-misogynistic, safe people for women to be around without labeling themselves “feminists.” I imagine that at least a handful of your frat brothers fall into this category. Those who do are likely discouraged from considering themselves or calling themselves feminists by the society in which they operate. Fraternities are notorious for being havens of bullying and harassment. Do you think a man in yours who called himself a feminist would be …
/r/ExRedPill18/02/24 10:42 PM
12

I’m a little surprised that age is so low!
/r/ExRedPill18/02/24 10:31 PM
39

I’m in a fraternity It is completely unsurprising that you know of no feminists in your fraternity. a few chronically online women Do you think feminist and women-centered spaces exist solely online?
/r/ExRedPill18/02/24 10:29 PM
34

If you truly don’t believe any women care about their partners being feminists, you’re not spending enough time in feminist or women-centered spaces.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/24 10:22 PM
5

You know you’re being horrible to your girlfriend, so the first thing you need to do is to stop. You have willpower and self-control. You can choose better behavior. That won’t solve the root problem, though. You hold misogynistic and harmful views about women. You need to consciously challenge those views — ideally with the help of a mental health professional. You’re very young, so hopefully, time and adulthood will help you reject some of your views. I also suggest engaging with women more, a…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/24 03:04 PM
11

Or maybe being hung up on “body count” betrays inner insecurities that a man would rather blame on western women than interrogate in himself?
/r/ExRedPill23/01/24 12:47 AM
5

Something that I think “pilled” people miss a lot is that “normies” are always suggesting self improving when giving advice around dating woes — they just don’t recognize it because it sounds different. We say “focus on yourself” and give advice like spending more time with friends and on hobbies. We say “try a yoga” class and talk about being centered. It’s with the goal of the person becoming happier with themselves rather than to become more attractive, but it’s all self improvement at core.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 05:51 PM
6

Someone’s “world” — their friends, family, hobbies, job, experiences, aspirations, and more — is a huge part of who they are. I love my partner because he’s caring, considerate, loyal, and so fuckin smart. Those qualities are why he’s got great friends, a career he loves, and close family. I love those things about him too. You can’t just separate a person from the “world” they inhabit.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 03:48 PM
2

https://www.harmonyrecoverygroup.com/what-is-emotional-detachment/ “It is what it is” isn’t the answer. It doesn’t have to be that way.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/24 09:34 PM
2

Everyone has emotional needs of some kind. You are human. You have them. If you are disengaged from your emotional state to the extent that you cannot identify those needs, that can be symptomatic of a larger mental health concern. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-blunting#definition
/r/ExRedPill18/01/24 09:10 PM
5

You might want to do some introspection here. If you genuinely feel this way, that might in fact be a symptom of depression.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/24 08:44 PM
16

Women are only human. Some will hold toxic beliefs and stereotypes, just like some men do. Some will cheat, just like some men do. It’s “sporadic.”
/r/ExRedPill18/01/24 08:33 PM
4

I have never “shittested” anyone and have never heard of anyone doing so IRL.
/r/ExRedPill16/01/24 02:33 PM
12

If you ask things like “how do I make my ex jealous” people WILL judge you for being immature and insecure.
/r/ExRedPill16/01/24 03:36 AM
9

I don’t think the other definitions are contradictory. Love is a feeling. It also isn’t easy. It’s deep commitment, trust, attraction, friendship, and so much more. You do have to experience it to understand.
/r/ExRedPill14/01/24 01:12 AM
6

I’m not sure I understand your question. Are you saying you think love is only sexual attraction? It’s not.
/r/ExRedPill13/01/24 10:53 PM
3

Do wife have some kind of obligation to make sex easier for her husband? I genuinely don’t understand what this means. I think people should marry people they’re attracted to, committed to, and sexually compatible with. And they should also go into marriage understanding that the frequency of sex in a relationship is sure to fluctuate over time because of all kinds of variables, and that there will probably be times it’s off the table entirely. I think spouses have an obligation to be supportive…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 08:39 PM
3

I dated someone in recovery. He was a horrible person for reasons that I think were probably only very tangentially related to his drug use. If he started using again after our break up, I wouldn’t have thought that was my fault at all. I would not date someone with an active addiction. My partner and I are social drinkers and that’s it — no other substance use.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 08:35 PM
6

Lmfao. No.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 07:20 PM
10

Yeah I’m with you. Sex with my partner is so fucking special - even though I’ve had plenty of sex with others before.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:14 PM
5

This is me!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:04 PM
1

Therapists don’t prescribe medication. Therapy is extremely important and beneficial to many people.
/r/ExRedPill01/01/24 07:22 PM
1

Emotional regulation, communication, and identification of healthy boundaries are skills. Teach it in school. Address the stereotypes of toxic masculinity and patriarchy that inhibit boys’ relationship to their emotional state and make everyone think of girls as more emotional. Just as children have to go through physical health check ups yearly, require documentation of yearly visits to a child psychologist. Make therapy in schools and universities vastly more accessible. Make therapy for every…
/r/ExRedPill01/01/24 07:09 PM
2

I was not raised in an environment that taught me to identify un/healthy relationship dynamics. I was raised in an environment that perpetuated toxicity and anger. This is why I believe strongly that society — notably teachers, health care providers, and of course parents — need to be doing more to teach skills of emotional regulation and communication to all children. We don’t need to accept the status quo; we need to change it.
/r/ExRedPill01/01/24 05:55 PM
6

Sure. But I think it’s probably more important to work to foster a broader understanding of what healthy vs unhealthy relationship dynamics look like and how to communicate in healthy ways. At least on Reddit, it’s clear that lots of people are very confused about, for example, what an appropriate reaction to a partner hurting their feelings might look like. Once people are able to identify healthy or unhealthy behaviors in themselves and others, they are better equipped to act accordingly.
/r/ExRedPill01/01/24 03:09 PM
10

I urge you to seek mental health care if you believe you’re being stalked by an unknown person.
/r/ExRedPill01/01/24 06:01 AM
24

Healthy, mature, secure people will not become aggressive or violent because of a romantic breakup.
/r/ExRedPill01/01/24 05:49 AM
2

Power to you! It’s great that you’re doing what makes you feel good and happy and healthy
/r/ExRedPill16/12/23 11:29 PM
3

I mean I don’t particularly like “gym bods” either and I suppose that’s one way of expressing distaste.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/23 10:57 PM
4

I think it’s interesting that girls have specifically said you’re “intimidating” and it might do you some good to consider whether the vibes you’re giving off might be holding you back.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/23 10:28 PM
17

I think manosphere types are also quick to label ANYONE who has “success” with women a “bad boy” regardless of his character or behavior.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/23 02:52 PM
3

You seem to be a misogynist — other labels are mostly irrelevant in my opinion.
/r/ExRedPill15/12/23 06:51 PM
9

I’ll be honest. People definitely think you’re a redpilled ahole and probably an incel.
/r/ExRedPill15/12/23 05:15 PM
11

Yes. “Dread game” is just abuse. You don’t want to be abusive; women don’t want to be abused. You want a partner who wants to be with you. I urge you to consider that RP wants you to think everyone who has success with women is a “bad boy,” regardless of his character or actions.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/23 04:23 PM
8

You don’t have to be judgmental or bitter. The awareness that you fear you are slipping into that attitude will help you escape it.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/23 04:11 PM
15

You don’t need to care. You don’t need to ask. But you make it clear that you don’t care by being an open, accepting person who is curious about your partner but doesn’t pass judgement. Most of us just want someone who respects us, is emotionally mature and competent, wants to be an equal partner, etc.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/23 04:00 PM
19

Ok. I imagine you won’t find this particularly credible, but the idea that any significant number of people has anything like 40 lifetime sexual partners is simply untrue. There is data on this — and yes, it is self reported data, but a WHOLE lot of people would have to be lying by a WHOLE lot to get to “40-50 random dudes.” Why do you assume that your partner would necessarily lie to you if you did want to know? I’d tell my partner how many people I’ve slept with if he ever cared to ask, but it…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/23 03:51 PM
34

First things first, get the F off whatever social media you’re using. You have trained your algorithms to SHOW you content that reinforces your view that “women like bad boys. Women cheat” etc. That is why it is all that you are seeing. Second, I’m so sorry that your real life experiences of relationships haven’t been healthy. I’m so sorry your parents haven’t been able to model healthy romantic relationships for you. But just because that is what YOU see, doesn’t mean that’s all there is. Third…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/23 03:33 PM
11

Some thoughts in no particular order… Knows how to communicate his emotions in healthy, productive ways. Is a kind, caring, considerate person. Intelligence — I like a man who can keep up with me and teach me more about things he knows that I don’t. Is as enthusiastic about me as I am about him. Makes me laugh. He doesn’t have to be the “class clown,” but we should find each other amusing. Shares my values and core beliefs and has life plans that align with mine. Respects me — by pulling his wei…
/r/ExRedPill05/12/23 01:42 PM
7

To being “Chad” as RPers view him? I have no idea
/r/ExRedPill04/12/23 07:09 PM
19

If anyone who has “sexual success” with women is a “Chad” (which is generally what RPers seem to think makes someone a “Chad”), I’ve known plenty of “Chads” who were likeable, good guys.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/23 06:40 PM
15

I think it’s also very possible that people apply the “bad boy” label to anyone who happens to be successful with women, regardless of his character or habits.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/23 12:47 AM
8

I think the best way to know what any individual girl wants is to ask her specifically.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/23 12:24 AM
14

I think you’re spending too much time reading about what women want online instead of listening to us tell you.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/23 12:02 AM
21

You’re a sad, sad person.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/23 12:01 AM
25

I’m ready to brag about how good of a person my partner is right now and if you look at my post history you’ll see that’s all I talk about when I talk about him. You’re wrong.
/r/ExRedPill02/12/23 11:39 PM
12

I love his face. And I love his skinny little arms.
/r/ExRedPill02/12/23 09:48 PM
21

👏👏👏
/r/ExRedPill02/12/23 09:33 PM
17

I started seriously dating my partner when I was 25. He has a great dick, but he’s under 6ft and (was then) under 6 figures. I wanted an emotionally stable, considerate, funny, loving partner. Get over your “6-6-6” issue.
/r/ExRedPill02/12/23 08:54 PM
3

These are wildly different questions. Just get viagra.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 06:16 PM
2

Check out the pinned post on this sub!
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 05:20 AM
1

I’ve been on reddit way too much today and this might be the stupidest thing I’ve read so far.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 03:15 AM
10

Look, I don’t think it’s worth trying to change your mind about whether someone with a “high body count” is “disgusting” or not. I think your beliefs are too ingrained and you couldn’t possibly be a good partner to (most, really) women, so you ought to stay away from them. But it’s simply absurd and fallacious to believe that your subjective experience of the people you know holds comparable weight to the data we have about sexual patterns. Your beliefs about what sexual experience “most” women …
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 12:36 AM
26

I really, really want you to consider why you think surveys by durex and nectar sleep are in any way comparable to one by the CDC. People answering surveys by those companies likely have prior interaction with them. Isn’t it likely that durex customers may be buying condoms because they happen to need them? People who are not sexually active or who are in committed relationships where condoms aren’t used are much less likely to interact with durex. Nectar sleep customers likely skew younger, wea…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 01:56 PM
9

Some people like casual sex, which is fine. Let’s not conflate them with sex workers, please.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 01:36 PM
6

The 2006-2010 study is actually fairly consistent with the later numbers, which lends credibility to both. In the study I linked, about 12% of women report 10-14 lifetime sexual partners, so about 25% of respondents had 10 or more partners. The difference between 18.6% and 25% on surveys simply isn’t significant in the greater context of the sample sizes.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 01:35 PM
40

Only 13% of women report 15 or more sexual partners over a lifetime. Even assuming that all the women surveyed lied (which would be a ridiculous assumption), they’d have to be lying by A LOT to make your claim that “most women have 20-50 sexual partners” at all credible. You’re just wildly off base. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm#numberlifetime
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 04:18 AM
8

Google is free. Look up the orgasm gap.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/23 10:34 PM
9

Oooof wrong on almost all counts; you have clearly never heard of the orgasm gap.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/23 10:28 PM
10

My man has never heard of the orgasm gap.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/23 10:26 PM
24

People are people are people. (And the most valued members of society are more likely to be men. Think about presidents, senators, heads of universities, bankers, CEOs, movie stars, athletes.) For the rest of us, we are just people. If you are interacting with someone who makes it clear that they don’t value you, stop interacting with them.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/23 10:18 PM
5

Oh you don’t understand the Scrabble thing. Sorry I assumed you would.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 08:45 AM
7

Merriam Webster seems like a perfectly credible dictionary to use; it is, for example, the official Scrabble dictionary. https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/maternal-mortality-on-the-rise
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 08:01 AM
7

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ailment https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/preconceptioncare/conditioninfo/health-problems
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 07:52 AM
6

Let me know if there’s ever an ailment that regularly sucks calcium from men’s bones and teeth to the point their teeth fail or fall out
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 07:43 AM
4

I agree with this completely. Mutual trust happens to be an essential element to my relationship too, but I can (intellectually, at least) understand that there could be situations where couples don’t feel they have built that trust by the time they want/need to have kids or that they feel they may never build it, but it’s not as essential to them for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 04:27 AM
3

This is often the kind of thing that’s written into a prenup (judges can also determine child support)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 04:15 AM
2

Parents own their children’s DNA. https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4194337
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:47 AM
4

I truly believe you’ll find that enough men hate this particular idea too (not being allowed to sign birth certificate w/o pat test) that it is simply a nonstarter. Many people have significant concerns wrt DNA privacy, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:46 AM
8

Dads literally have to sign the birth certificate in the U.S.! Telling parents that they still need a pat test when dad has signed the certificate can only mean that “well we know women lie to their partners all the time” becomes governmental policy!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:40 AM
3

Right, but it’s not a case of “she cannot legally access his medical records” if he’s just using a private service because they are not protected medical records and it just makes you sound like you have no idea what you’re talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:36 AM
3

You’re the one who used the term “medical records” — and again, half that DNA is mom’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:35 AM
6

So then you’re talking about a private service and the results aren’t the kind of medical records that are legally protected by HIPAA (they also aren’t binding in a court of law)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:33 AM
11

I’m actually all for this. If a woman cheats a man out of time and/or money through paternity fraud, he should be compensated.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:27 AM
4

If you’re getting a paternity test done through a medical facility there will be medical records of that associated with the baby because they will have to take DNA from baby. If you’re just doing an Ancestry kit there will not be medical records for baby, but you’re the one who brought up medical records.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:26 AM
2

She can for sure access baby’s records, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:19 AM
0

Getting your baby’s DNA tested (or any other medical procedure) is something I’d argue both custodial parents should have a say in. Especially because half that DNA is mom’s. It’s not in any way equitable to going to the shop without telling your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:16 AM
8

I cannot imagine having a child with someone who I could fathom cheating on me. If someone told me my bf was playing around I would laugh. I’d expect him to have the same reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 03:15 AM
–

This study was retracted. There is another showing (nearly — 6x instead of 7x) the same result that was not the retracted study. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 01:22 AM
16

Pregnancy is also extremely taxing — even harmful — to a woman’s body. If she doesn’t really want kids, putting her body through that just because it’s the thing that “everyone” does eventually might feel like a bit of a scam on the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 12:55 AM
–

Wouldn’t start trying until 30, but I know it’s likely to be difficult so we’ll probably be “trying” for a few years
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:43 PM
3

wimmin bad yes we know
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 12:27 AM
1

Telling on yourself bro
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 12:19 AM
12

I got the “ick” for one guy I was seeing because of two reasons: 1) our interests were not aligned in a very meaningful way. He wanted to go hiking every single weekend and I didn’t really enjoy the hikes he liked 2) he assumed way too much intimacy way too early on I was told these were “minor” and it was absurd that I felt the “ick” because of them. Didn’t feel minor to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 12:12 AM
12

And if we don’t give them a chance in the first place (before even getting to the “nothing” reasons that made us lose interest) we’re stone hearted bitches responsible for the epidemic of male loneliness
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 12:06 AM
4

Exactly!! My partner is absolutely my best friend and favorite person and he feels the same way about me. We have so much fun together.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 02:07 AM
4

I’d call myself modern and provide a hell of a lot of support to my partner (not to mention other men in my life)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 01:20 AM
2

And when you express empathy they don’t acknowledge it, they never offer it in return, and if you don’t begin everything you say with a statement of empathy they take that as you being an evil man hating feminist
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 01:17 AM
14

I’m a woman, but I think it’s important that you judge this guy you’re seeing based on how he treats you and whether he says he cares for you or not. Don’t ascribe feelings or biases to him that he hasn’t shown. You deserve a partner who is excited about you and into you. Being 28 — or even when you get to 30 — doesn’t diminish your worth.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 09:04 PM
2

Once again, damn, I do way too much for my boyfriend
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:34 PM
3

I think most people experience frustration with aspects of their physical appearance, either all the time or occasionally. That’s normal. You gain confidence by finding things about yourself that you like, making changes that make you feel good about yourself, and working to reduce negative self talk (therapy can help with this). Have you told your therapist that you’re not confident about your physical appearance?
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:35 PM
4

Absolutely! I hope he’s able to gain the confidence that his looks aren’t holding him back
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:27 PM
6

lol it’s not your looks my guy
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:18 PM
2

What methods of dating have you tried?
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:01 PM
0

Hi! I’m happy with my body and don’t want anyone to “look” because sexualizing strangers who you don’t know is gross!
/r/AllPillDebate08/11/23 02:02 AM
4

In the linked post, a guy asked a woman out and was turned down. When she agreed to go out with someone else, the first guy thought it was because “girls always like bad boys.” But in reality, the man the woman agreed to go out with does all these good things / is a great person.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/23 09:37 PM
7

Exactly!! See this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTears/s/Z2sR0tMooD
/r/ExRedPill07/11/23 06:07 PM
2

You can extrapolate from that statement: the actions or preferences of any individual woman do not describe the actions or preferences of all women.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/23 03:10 PM
9

A story about one woman should not lead you to form universal beliefs about all women.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/23 03:00 PM
2

People being “basic” isn’t hurting you. It’s not targeted at you. It’s not about you.
/r/ExRedPill05/11/23 08:18 PM
5

Yeah this is misogyny in action.
/r/ExRedPill05/11/23 01:11 AM
8

Those people suck! No doubt about it. No one deserves to be objectified or targeted because of their race (ETA: or sexuality).
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 05:31 PM
18

So it sounds like you’ve been offended by the actions of specific people. You have every right to feel that offense. But you’re engaging in stereotyping here too — your interactions with individuals have led you to “hate” and “resent” everyone you associate with those individuals.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 05:15 PM
12

Most of us are just living life and trying to find some kind of happiness and fulfillment.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 02:43 PM
23

It is not normal to hate every different “type” of person, no. Individual people can be good or bad or just mostly neutral. All of us have flaws and qualities that we could improve. Hating groups rather than individuals (and hate is a very strong emotion to feel about most individuals too) is unhealthy for you.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 02:28 PM
13

Women have an average lower lifetime number of sexual partners than men. In the latest GSS data, more women than men went the prior year without sex.
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 07:03 PM
2

Way more men than women aren’t single; they’re just single at different points in time because women outlive men and date/marry men who are slightly older than they are
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 04:02 PM
7

Claiming “Facts!” about what whole groups of people will or will not do, do or do not believe, or do or do not feel will always be wrong.
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 04:00 PM
6

Yeah being here is kinda useless and I should stop wasting my time with it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:12 PM
18

I have no idea what your complaint is. Women have a longer lifespan than men. Women usually date & marry men around 2-3 years older than them. Women in their late 20s are likely to be partnered with men in the next age bracket up, which is one of the causes that more men under 30 are single than women. This holds true for other age brackets, with slightly more men single than women until ages 50 up, where more women are single. That difference is particularly notable after age 65. Women outlive …
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 02:51 PM
4

He also has the facts wrong so
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:44 PM
7

I looked and can’t find any studies showing that this is true. I’ve seen it just labeled “common knowledge.” There are data to suggest that a woman can determine within 3 seconds if she does or doesn’t want to see you again — this is a different thing from wanting to sleep with you. Men decide the same just as quickly. https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/science-says-you-do-this-surprising-thing-in-just-3-seconds-hint-it-has-to-do-with-attraction.html
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:44 PM
12

Well that’s your problem right there
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:38 PM
19

….widows are single
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 02:06 PM
8

Yes
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 02:05 PM
7

You said “men or boys” did you not?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:41 AM
5

Traditionally boys were associated with the color pink and wore dresses until the age of 5
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:27 AM
7

I do not want my partner to be emotionally stoic, as I’ve said, and he is open with his emotions with me. Being masculine certainly doesn’t only have ”one meaning.” Care to give your definition?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:20 AM
12

I have no idea what a “man’s man” means to you but I don’t want him to be emotionally stoic I don’t want him to feel that he has to support me without being supported in return I don’t want him to only have male friends Try asking individual women what they want instead of telling us.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:11 AM
1

I think it’d be a rather unfair rule to have, but having the same rule applied the same way to both parties is not a double standard. Something being “unfair” doesn’t mean it’s a “double standard.”
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:57 AM
1

If that’s what the couple agrees who tf am I to judge
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:49 AM
12

What leads you to believe that liberal men aren’t motivated for success or successful? I’ve known plenty of motivated and successful liberal men. Being tall and/or fit also doesn’t preclude someone from being liberal. And as a feminist, I’ve never wanted a “traditional” relationship in any way. I’ve always wanted an egalitarian relationship with a man who sees me as an equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:45 AM
70

So, first of all, more people are single overall, not just men. The growth in number of unpartnered men has outpaced that of women, but not significantly. (Source) Overall, ~30% of people are single. There are slightly more single men than women — but the gap is only about 4%. (Source) When you break it down by age, many more men under 30 are single than women in the same age group. But many more women over 65 are single than men over 65. It all evens out. A lot of this can be explained by women…
/r/ExRedPill01/11/23 02:40 AM
4

There is no double standard. They are both allowed to do the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 11:55 PM
2

Yeah I wasn’t addressing that to you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 11:29 PM
2

I don’t think I implied that happy couples are perfect or that they don’t have problems. I don’t think being a complete person means one is perfect or always happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 11:28 PM
0

And I don’t think rejection by individual women, painful though it may be, is an excuse for resentment of all women
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 11:27 PM
2

What benefit do you get by being rude to and shaming people you don’t know (like in the example above)? What benefit does it give you to be mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 09:47 PM
6

I mean, I would say that having people who have both been in bad relationships and single tell you over and over again that being single is better should make everyone at least “aware.” This isn’t even the first time I’ve seen it brought up on this sub. I certainly don’t expect them to understand, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 09:46 PM
3

This. We’ve never been a couple that asks each other “wanna fuck?” We just start kissing or touching and some of the time it leads to more.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 09:44 PM
5

“I’m terrified that men will find me less attractive when they know I’m 30” As if 6 months and a birthday means a man would find her less attractive then than now
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:18 PM
4

Think it takes a lot longer than 6 months to “lose your looks”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:15 PM
3

I don’t think anyone claimed that they don’t deserve love, but 1) relationships with dysfunctional people can be very toxic 2) dysfunctional people aren’t the only ones capable of real love
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:15 PM
3

Your partner shouldn’t be a “missing piece that makes you whole;” they should ADD to you. You need to be a complete person by yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:14 PM
4

Are you basing that statement off facts or feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:06 PM
4

He doesn’t care. I don’t think he’s in the minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:05 PM
4

My babe had options
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:03 PM
13

Are you seriously asking why people should “behave well”????
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:58 PM
5

Do you really think you’re going to look that different 6 months from now
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:32 PM
–

“They usually don’t” = telling on themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:57 PM
–

Oh it’s absolutely disheartening
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:55 PM
–

The food thing is so real haha I’m always picking up little treats my bf likes. See also: offering massages not playing games with texting (hot take, it’s ok to text someone you’re in a relationship with even if that means double or triple texting) washing clothes you left at her place These are never things I’d do with a guy I didn’t actually like
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:54 PM
–

Any man who says that women don’t usually love their partners is honestly just telling on himself
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:43 PM
12

Presumably there are a similar number of unhappy couples where the man is the one to be diagnosed with cancer (men are actually more likely to develop cancer than women, but for the sake of argument, let’s say it’s even). Why are couples so much more likely to separate when it’s the woman who is diagnosed?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:11 PM
11

This is untrue. One study was retracted; there are other studies (like this one) showing the same outcome that were not retracted or debunked.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:51 PM
31

I’ve been single for long stretches. I’ve also been in relationships where I was unhappy. I would choose being single every time. I think you’re missing how deeply unhappy being in a relationship that adds no value, or that takes away from your life, can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:48 PM
2

I don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea. I have a relationship where I’m very happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:56 PM
0

Why do you say that? I know it must be really difficult to face rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:55 PM
1

Congrats on your anniversary :)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:58 AM
3

Absolutely agree. I think when you’re able to have experience in relationships, you learn that what matters is how the other person treats you. When men don’t have that experience, I could theorize that they’re trying to put together a list of red flag qualities that would be a predictor relationship success. That’s my charitable guess. JNRoberts also pointed out that men like to have “the illusion of choice” — pre-rejecting women (who probably wouldn’t be into them anyway) makes them feel bette…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:56 AM
2

I think it’s usually socially insecure people who spend too much time online who seem to care
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:52 AM
10

Google is free Drugs See also: Car crashes
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:46 AM
1

Women in this thread uniformly said we don’t “hate” shy men. I think you’d also find an overwhelming number of us say we don’t find them repulsive. Disinterest isn’t hate and it isn’t repulsion either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:40 AM
7

I’m much less worried about office temperature than, for example, the fact that women are often given the wrong dosages of drugs because an outsized portion of the testing is done on male subjects.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:39 AM
5

It seems like guys who care most are the least likely to find themselves in a situation where they can exercise that preference
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:31 AM
2

Gosh repulsion is such a strong word too. I’m disinterested in way more people than I’m repulsed by.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:24 AM
1

Yep, in general, most people want to be liked
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:23 AM
10

Can confirm; have slept around, and that had no impact on my ability to find a man to marry me who I wanted to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:14 AM
2

I think what you’re perceiving as “jealousy” I interpret more as (frequently unreasonable) resentment. I don’t see it as feminine. I do find it off putting. The men I know IRL also don’t exhibit this jealousy or resentment and similarly don’t have trouble with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:57 AM
4

I do think women, and especially white women, have advantages in dating. I think white people have advantages over people of color in many/most white-majority places. I think there are areas where all men are disadvantaged, like the lack of systemic attention to the male suicide rate or areas where boys are falling behind in school. I also think there are areas where all women are disadvantaged, like the maternal mortality crisis in the U.S. (again this is worse for women of color) or the fact t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:33 AM
-4

I agree with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:23 AM
-7

Yep, everyone can experience those things, and they would be incredibly difficult to go through. If you’re dealing with those issues you’re not “living life on easy mode” no matter your race or gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:21 AM
2

Literally do both
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:42 PM
8

I think that surveys are absolutely more likely to be accurate than a single person’s broad, unfounded assumptions about people they don’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:41 PM
10

Me too. Being single was much better than being either in a toxic relationship or with someone I wasn’t attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:25 PM
14

She’ll figure out if the sex is bad eventually
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 08:07 PM
1

Every time someone refuses to interact with you is a learning opportunity, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:31 PM
24

I’m a mid 20s woman with what some people might consider more than usual sexual experience. I don’t hate men at all, and I’m not cynical about dating. I completely understand why most people desire romantic relationships. I’m in a very happy relationship myself. I think being cynical about love or romance is sad. I’ve had some bad experiences with men, but mostly normal dating experiences where it just didn’t work out for some reason. Finding someone you like enough — and who likes you enough — …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:00 PM
2

This isn’t even accurate in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:47 PM
2

I am liberal and absolutely wouldn’t want a partner who considers himself “traditional.” My partner is liberal and likes that I have enough sexual experience to know what I like in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:47 PM
10

You’ve read a lot into my statement of empathy and acknowledgement of people’s struggles. Do you think assuming the worst of people who are trying to understand your position is helpful? Do you think accusing someone who has agreed that being socially ostracized must be really difficult of “[acting] like there are no consequences” is even fair? Don’t you see how this behaviour is absolutely only hurting you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:45 PM
6

I can certainly understand that loneliness and the inability to form the kinds of social connections someone wants must be incredibly difficult. I empathize with that struggle. I do not empathize with attributing hatred to people who aren’t expressing it, or to people who are actively explaining that they do not hold such hatred. That’s behavior that is unlikely to be helpful to anyone, especially the person suffering loneliness. Really it would seem to be rather antisocial. I also think that it…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:18 PM
8

I have read through this post. Women have not said we bully or hate shy men. Some of us have said that we may not have romantic or sexual interest in them. Disinterest is not hatred, and it seems like you’re having trouble understanding the difference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:18 PM
26

I have male friends who are indeed funny and interesting people. I have a male boss who I really appreciate and value. I have male family members I love deeply. Men are just other people, the vast majority of whom I will only ever have platonic interest (if any interest at all) in, just like I feel about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:10 PM
9

I have not seen a single woman here say that they hate shy or socially awkward men. You’re choosing to disregard every one of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:44 PM
11

Disinterest is not hatred. Not wanting to date someone is not hatred. It’s weird how many people here are conflating hatred with a lack of sexual/romantic interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:17 PM
8

Disinterest is not hatred. Not wanting to date someone does not imply hatred.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:15 PM
7

Yeah, that’s pretty much how I try to treat everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:28 PM
6

Yeah it’s not on other people to help you solve your social awkwardness
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:17 PM
11

What do you think “tolerance” would look like to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:14 PM
9

Do you think “tolerance” requires wanting to date someone? Because I’ve seen a lot of women say that they don’t hate socially awkward people and have nothing in particular against them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:28 PM
15

Or it means they’re not actually attractive to women
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:15 PM
11

Why is not being interested in someone an issue? No one deserves my interest; I don’t deserve interest from anyone else. I don’t come across many terribly socially awkward people, though I have a very close friend who’d probably be considered a little awkward by strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:10 PM
–

I agree with your nuance. I think if someone’s absolutely miserable because they’re single and thinks a romantic relationship is going to fix all their problems, that’s only bound to lead to further unhappiness. With that said, it’s very normal to want a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:37 AM
4

Nah it’s super normal to split
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:28 AM
4

I always split on early dates. My partner and I trade off.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:28 AM
–

The Twilight books were probably the best selling books marketed to young women around 2010 and Edward was a virgin in the first 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:10 AM
–

He’s got a love interest in the movie who is a high school “Stacey”
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:08 AM
–

Waffle House is absolutely not an acceptable first date spot either if you’re over the age of 18
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:07 AM
27

“Hate” is a really strong emotion to attribute to all women based on that one statement. Of course I don’t “hate” awkward people. I’m not always interested in getting to know them further, but I don’t even feel like personal distaste towards them usually.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:01 AM
–

You did not understand OC’s point, or mine, at all
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:34 PM
–

N-count > 3 = FOR THE STREETS Won’t put out on the 3rd date = she’s only using you and DEFINITELY not giving you treatment equal to CHAD
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:56 PM
2

1) there’s nothing inherently sexual about a back or belly (or nipples or cleavage either, but as a society we have sexualized them enough that you can expect not to see extreme cases of them in public) 2) being in a relationship does not give you ownership over your partner’s body
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:53 PM
2

Some people actually like having fun lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:24 PM
0

I think some men here don’t understand that most romantic interactions do not end in a lifelong relationship! It’s very rare to find someone you want to spend enough time with, who you enjoy being around so much, whose goals and values are aligned, AND who you’re attracted to that you want a long term relationship with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:48 PM
2

I’m not sure what your argument is. Sometimes women want casual sex, sometimes they don’t. It’s not a constant state. I mean, I’ve spent years of my life in relationships. I obviously don’t just fuck any guy who might think I’m hot when I’m in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:45 PM
3

I’m very blue pill and I don’t think anyone “should” be able to get a date just by being a good person. That’s suggests thinking any given person deserves romantic attention. Since romantic attention is a two way street inherently involving another outside person, I don’t think anyone deserves it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:42 PM
4

Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend all my free time having sex. I have other interests???
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:09 PM
–

Because I’m a procrastinator and this is what I found when Twitter died.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:04 PM
3

Why would I want to?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:02 PM
10

Just want to say it’s really great that you have not fallen into the Red Pill rabbit hole. Honestly, you’re probably more qualified than most to speak to other men in your situation! What has made it possible for you to accept your situation without falling into RP thinking?
/r/ExRedPill29/10/23 04:46 AM
1

What???
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:47 AM
1

Ok, so you are interpreting the statement that “my boyfriend is not Chad” as a red flag. That must mean you are ascribing a certain meaning to that statement. What meaning do you ascribe? I think it’s interesting you feel you have to resort to hyperbole to validate your point. Surely it should stand on its own?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:14 AM
1

Why do you think that any one thing said on the internet gives you so much insight into someone’s relationship? I’m genuinely asking if you’ve thought this through.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 01:59 AM
2

Statistically we’re in the least likely cohort for divorce, and you’re assuming a hell of a lot about the relationship of an internet stranger and her capability of love. Why do you feel the need to do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 01:52 AM
49

Wants sex, but to keep her options open when it comes to dating. Wants sex, but doesn’t want to put energy into a relationship. Wants sex WITH YOU, but doesn’t think you’re compatible as a romantic partner outside the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 01:13 AM
10

Why does it matter to you if a woman is fat to the point that you have to “tell her the truth” or “put her down” for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 12:38 AM
11

Not to mention slut, ran through, useless, that they have mental issues…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 12:31 AM
2

Lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:40 PM
1

I can absolutely see where you’re coming from if the lower-body-count person in question has only slept with ~1-3 people (though of course there’s an argument that having ~2 long term relationships, and only sex within those relationships, would still give you a lot of real world relationship experience) and the other person has slept with more than, say, 8 people. But once you’ve had a few casual sexual encounters and sex within a relationship or two, I don’t see any valid argument for saying “…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:32 PM
2

It was definitely not the easiest way to date! I’ve been involved with men from friend groups too, and my partner and I didn’t meet online either
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:27 PM
2

You think someone with 12 sexual partners marrying someone with 7 sexual partners could be considered predatory? I quite honestly don’t understand that logic in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:26 PM
1

Eh he’s probably been with somewhere between 7-10 based on our conversations and what I know of his dating history. I’ve never asked for a “body count” and neither has he
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:24 PM
1

He doesn’t know my “number” and I don’t know his, but we’ve talked about previous casual sexual encounters and our past dating history plenty. He knows I’ve slept with more people than he has.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:20 PM
2

He’s not inexperienced
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:19 PM
0

The men here don’t at all reflect the men in my real life, who are wonderful people I value deeply. If that weren’t the case, I’d be angry all the time. As it is, the men on here do leave me a little cynical and jaded, but not really angry. It’s honestly mostly just sad. I do need to detox myself from it all sometimes. Being told I’m a lying, manipulative slut (or any combination thereof) isn’t something healthy to subject myself to all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:19 PM
2

The man has me going to church smh
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 09:45 PM
2

Ty :) I think 1 is just as normal!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 09:44 PM
1

It feels light and fresh and not overpowering
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 08:47 PM
2

Me either
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 08:46 PM
1

There are just so many options I wouldn’t know where to begin. I also went into a perfume shop in Milan once and liked about ONE scent, and then it was just so very expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 08:37 PM
3

I’m a mid 20s woman and I dated off the apps a bit. As an introvert, I can definitely see how another introverted person would see some of that process as “work” if that was their only exposure to dating. Having to play the “get to know you game” with every new stranger is frankly exhausting (again as an introvert). But I was doing as much of that work as the men were. I was directly asking them out (as in saying “would you like to meet up on Friday”) about 1/3 of the time, and offering the sugg…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 08:36 PM
1

I have one perfume I like and I’m scared to try anything else 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 08:23 PM
1

Uh idk that’s a weird question to ask my brother imo He’s got a girlfriend
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 08:20 PM
0

My 22 y/o brother once told me “literally all you have to do is buy her dinner” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:43 PM
4

And it’s one that doesn’t actually seem to prevail in reality, thankfully. Never have I ever encountered this kind of thinking IRL so while I know saying “touch grass” is the stereotypical response, it’s what I want to tell them every time
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:37 PM
7

Body count of a dozen; never been asked for it by any guy I’ve dated; marrying a good Catholic boy Reddit is not real life
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:34 PM
1

Damn, killer instinct here
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:27 PM
2

Occasionally not conditionally
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:19 PM
3

I agree with this! And I also think it’s a lot rarer for women to be sexually aroused just by seeing someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 05:44 PM
1

I assume you’re being sarcastic, but yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 05:42 PM
2

I’m so tempted to stir the pot
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 05:36 PM
1

I mean I say it because after a bad relationship followed by some dating followed by a ~3 year period of being single (and celibate), I learned that I probably wasn’t going to be happy in a relationship until I was first happy with myself as a person, including while single
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 05:36 PM
6

Like if every guy on here started saying “I care about n-count because I am Catholic and deeply believe that sex before marriage is a sin,” I would have to change my assumptions about why they care. That’s not what men usually say tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:26 PM
8

Possibly, and without evidence to the contrary that’s certainly a plausible explanation. It is also possible that, like you, they are basing their actions off prior experience. It’s the same as when women assume insecurity in men who care about “n counts” — our past experience indicates that insecurity is the likely explanation. As I said, humans base so much of our preferences and beliefs off past experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:24 PM
2

Female. Intelligence Compassion/kindness Shared values (In no particular order)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:18 PM
15

I think you believe more women are doing this than really are.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:16 PM
10

Because all too often when men talk about women with a “high n-count” and why they don’t want them, there seems to be an underlying fear that such women may judge their sexual abilities. Even in the OP here, you can see that undercurrent: When it’s finally time to settle down… it’s with a man that nowhere near compares to her past sexual escapades and past sexual partners. Men frequently state that fear outright. This does not always happen, but it does frequently enough that insecurity seems to…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:15 PM
5

I’m not even opposed to sharing past sexual history with a partner. Lifelong relationships are long! There is lots of time to talk! But the idea of a partner shaming me for my past or demanding that information of me would just be so incredibly off putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:05 PM
3

Yes humans base so much of our preferences and beliefs off past experience, I completely understand why past experiences would make you wary.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:59 PM
21

why would anyone want to date someone who makes a post like this? Man thinks women enjoying casual sex means “she doesn’t even respect herself and it indicates low intelligence” so obviously he’s a catch
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:58 PM
13

I don’t anyone should really care about their partner’s sexual history (beyond things like STDs and only having sex with consensual partners, obviously). I think caring about a partner’s “n-count” generally stems from a place of insecurity. Or course, everyone has preferences — you do you. I think it’s just important to point out that this particular preference to this degree might be holding you back, especially because it’s not something you really have to be as concerned about as you are. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:36 PM
2

Viewing interpersonal relationships through the lens of gaming isn’t necessarily helping you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:20 PM
4

The idea of women sleeping “with men they know they can never have” all the time is particularly absurd. This is not an approach to dating I’ve ever seen IRL among women I know. Generally, even for casual sex, I think both men and women just look for partners they’re in some way compatible with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:59 PM
2

I don’t even really think it’s a US thing… I’ve never been asked either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:43 PM
2

You wrote five paragraphs to say you don’t understand how reciprocal, happy relationships work, so it seems you haven’t been exposed to this particular “deep thought” before
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:27 PM
3

Way too many PPD men think they are normal lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 01:12 AM
9

I’ve gone out with men who I didn’t think were objectively attractive. I’ve never gone out with a man who I knew I could not be sexually or romantically interested in. Seems like a waste of my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 01:02 AM
18

I have observed attractive men in public, obviously. They exist. I understand that they are attractive. That doesn’t mean my thoughts about them turn sexual. And I certainly don’t stare. Some men on here don’t seem to understand that sexuality works very differently for many women than it does for them. I usually find the “body builder” physique a turn off.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:56 AM
5

In before some guy pops in to point out: Bill isn’t getting casual sex NOW, but his future wife is. Of course he’s concerned that it’s damaging her! I’d also bet money that if the men who write treatises on female sexuality are ever able to find a woman who will marry them, she’s probably been socially stunted in some way too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:59 PM
11

A lot of what they profess really serves to dehumanize men too!
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 11:55 PM
12

I’d bet money that most of the guys who write novels on Reddit decrying the ills of women having casual sex are not at risk of having much casual sex themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:42 PM
6

My partner and I are very similar in a lot of ways — especially the very important ones (long term goals, values, desires for the future). We also have areas that complement one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:17 PM
28

Didn’t you know women bad? /s For real I think some men are so upset that women don’t enjoy being sexually objectified / considered only as sexual objects in public that they just have to make it… not the case?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:15 PM
1

Lmao idk where you’re getting this from but it’s really weird to both assume 1) I would stop doing things for my partner and 2) he would break up with me after a change in our dynamic
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:10 PM
18

I feel like this might be contributing to his lack of social success…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:35 PM
9

I feel bad as well but also, obviously, exhausted by their refusal to accept a different worldview
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:53 PM
9

Meanwhile plenty of women are both working and having relationships, as we’re frequently reminded when men on here bemoan the “relationship gap”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:37 PM
13

Women in your life may not have a problem with you using that word, but I’d put money on most women finding it offensive. You have several women telling you this. Why won’t you accept it?
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 07:02 PM
1

I think you can add getting rid of gender stereotypes limiting both men and women, too
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:59 PM
9

You have some real work to do on yourself, kid.
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 06:55 PM
11

Some of us are best friends with our romantic partners
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:37 PM
6

Nah it’s not “America” it’s just internet / social media echo chambers
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:15 PM
4

I was obsessed with a couple guys around 5’6” in college. Like only an 18 y/o can be. They were not lacking attention from girls!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:05 PM
1

Wrong direction lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:55 PM
2

Why? You’re about 5 inches off.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:54 PM
14

You’re very young so I’m going to suggest that you practice not using your “lingo” because it won’t serve you well in adult life, like the workplace.
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 05:51 PM
2

Nah that specified men. For women the cutoff is 4’11”, under that you’re a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:44 PM
19

Don’t refer to women as “bitches” in spaces where you don’t KNOW that they are ok with it. Good rule to live by.
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 05:43 PM
13

Ah yes because some women believe something, that must mean all women do!
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 05:39 PM
23

Well if your goal is to form romantic connections with women, I’d start by suggesting you not refer to them as “bitches”
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 05:26 PM
11

Red Pillers may or may not be able to “get girls.” What is (generally) common among them is a belief system that is dehumanizing and degrading to both men and women.
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 05:18 PM
1

That is not an approach to money I’ve ever heard IRL either.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:11 PM
24

Yeah, a relationship with someone I wasn’t happy with was ABSOLUTELY worse than being single
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:34 PM
5

You don’t have to think someone is hot to have sex with them
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:31 PM
14

Men are people, women are people, just find a person you actually like for goodness sake
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:30 PM
–

Are men under 6 ft tall even adult human people?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:28 PM
17

Yeah, I would care why someone hasn’t had relationship experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:48 PM
1

That’s a broad claim that I’m sure you can back up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:32 PM
1

I’m not those women. That’s not something I “selected for” when dating. Different women want different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:57 PM
1

Not to mention that any “study” “proving” the “80/20 rule” would be quantifying an entirely different thing than the GSS asking if people have or have not had sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:33 PM
1

I don’t need my boyfriend to be a provider or protector. I want him to be my equal partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:24 PM
9

So sounds like your choices are: date horrible women, or stay single. If you’re making the choice to date horrible women why are you complaining that they’re horrible?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:02 AM
7

How do we have a society of predators when 70% of children are brought up in 2-parent households and yet it’s only the mothers’ fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:00 AM
2

Would be great if men would stop invalidating our experiences on the regular but seems like it’s too much to ask
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:56 AM
2

Being told I’m lying about loving my bf, that I’m lying about the things I do for him, or if I do in fact take care of him I’m a PPD unicorn…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:55 AM
5

Nah boo you feel empowered if you want!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:48 AM
5

I’ve learned women never compliment their boyfriends let alone cook for them. To think I do his laundry too…..
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:46 AM
8

I’m a feminist and I very much disagree with your assessment of what “female empowerment” means for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:45 AM
9

If I have a son who’s a date rapist I’m sure as hell putting as much blame on his father as I am on myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:44 AM
9

And why is it that the only women you “can” date are horrid? Time for some introspection.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:35 AM
–

The fact that he’s on TINDER at 34 instead of bumble / hinge would also be off putting to me
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:28 AM
12

Every man has a father, too (excluding the very small subset of the population intentionally conceived by lesbians or single mothers).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:27 AM
–

Your reply suggested that I was claiming men should be kept from getting paternity tests. I don’t think they should (though ideally they would establish that before pregnancy). I also don’t think women should be faulted for finding that rather insulting.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:26 AM
10

Yeah and it’s such a problem that too many men are socialized to believe that anger is the only acceptable male emotion
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:38 AM
–

Honestly I’m probably one of the more feminist women on here, and I’m expecting to put myself through years of hell to hopefully have 2 kids. I don’t think “feminists” are the problem; I think the issue you’re perceiving stems from the fact that when women have more education and careers outside the home, they have fewer children.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:37 AM
–

I’m very lucky to have dual citizenship in a European country and got that second passport for a reason
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:32 AM
–

No one is trying to ban paternity tests…….
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:29 AM
–

Mine had a stillborn little girl 💔 I have a whole host of things that’ll probably make it hard for bf and I to have kids so I’ve already seen a fertility specialist and it’s just… unbearable what women go through to produce children
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:25 AM
–

Yes!! I love spreading love
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:20 AM
–

My mom is a feminist who has 2 but wanted 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:19 AM
5

I like feeling like an equal partner in my relationship, personally. Not the underdog, not the top dog.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:17 AM
5

Neither of these is appealing at all, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:17 AM
–

LOVE Salem and highly recommend the Hawthorne house if it isn’t on your list
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:09 AM
24

I think that some men don’t get that they’re probably (subconsciously) displaying some of this hatred IRL and this might not help them with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:03 AM
5

Not my Planet… I compliment my boyfriend about 12x a day not to mention everything else I do for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:02 AM
2

With a dash of mommy issues thrown in too
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:56 AM
–

Yeah I mean I’m very okay with women not having kids if they don’t want to, got me there!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:49 AM
-3

Yeah I don’t agree that suggesting men should call out misogynistic language in their friends, for example, is “r word” I’m interested in how you think misogyny and dating preferences are equivalent behaviour?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:49 AM
–

Missed u
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:45 AM
–

Feminists generally advocate women having the choice to have children or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:45 AM
5

Yeah I can’t speak for others obviously but this does not comport at all with my own experience of a happy relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:44 AM
–

I generally think people should not have unprotected sex when they’re not trying to get pregnant, yes. But people are dumb, and there are also many, many other reasons abortions are needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:43 AM
7

Didn’t you know this was PPD? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:26 AM
7

Well some of us would disagree with that assessment too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:04 AM
–

Mid-late 20s women dating early 30s men, as I and several friends are, will also skew the breakdown between men and women in relationships by age
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:51 AM
7

Damn I’m doing way too much for my bf
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:39 AM
–

And that is okay too! Being romantic or not does not hold moral weight outside the context of your own relationship! People should just try to make their partners happy!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:32 AM
–

Haha thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:04 AM
–

I’m a woman in her 20s in a city and all my girlfriends who WANT to be in relationships are in them. Have one girlfriend who hasn’t wanted to date for a while. Their “standards” can’t be that unrealistic if they’ve found partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:56 PM
–

The most recent GSS data indicates that only 9% of men 26-30 did not have sex in the last year studied. It is 18% for men 18-25. Neither is near 30%.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:53 PM
–

I am sure you have been told this before, but only 15% of men went without sex over the one year period of the last GSS study; those numbers are mostly driven by men under 26.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:45 PM
–

Where are you getting that 40% of men don’t think women are capable of being romantic???
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:18 PM
–

I understand, but I don’t think it’s rational behavior. I would hope that most people are able to understand intellectually that other people have experiences different from my own. If I assumed that my experience was universal I would think that most men in their 20s are actually lying about not being in relationships, since the men I interact with almost all are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:16 PM
–

Yeah I think it’s really important to try to show your partner love in their love language! I give my bf massages and pet his hair when he’s falling asleep because touch is his love language too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:14 PM
–

Unironically I also agree with that!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:07 PM
–

One of my biggest qualms is people universalizing their personal experiences. I imagine it is very, very painful to be unable to find a romantic connection for men who want one. I imagine it’s very painful not to be made to feel special and valued. But that doesn’t mean a whole half of the population is incapable of being romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:55 PM
–

And this is why paternity tests are not illegal in most places!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:49 PM
–

I’m not over the post where so many people claimed women aren’t / can’t be romantic. I’ve planned and proposed dates; bought my bf flowers and treats; left him love notes….. and I don’t think I’m special for doing any of that!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:46 PM
0

Like I’m sorry Emily from college dated jocks!! I don’t know her tho!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:39 PM
–

If you haven’t built trust with someone, maybe you shouldn’t have unprotected sex with her and risk impregnation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:35 PM
3

If you’re making claims about the thoughts and feelings of vast groups of people you do not know, you should back it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:27 PM
5

Immediately no
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:20 PM
6

Yeah. I had to come to the (very disappointing/infuriating/upsetting) conclusion that what we women say on here does not matter to too many, perhaps the vast majority, of men on PPD. I come back because it feels important not to let them spew misogyny unchecked in any way. But it’s difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:20 PM
7

It’s very PPD to have men tell you that you’re lying about your own feelings. I have to detox from it frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:16 PM
3

And you know this because you know every single woman in a relationship, personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:15 PM
–

Most babies are conceived on accident out of wedlock. A bit less than half of pregnancies are unintended, to be accurate. Not most. https://www.unfpa.org/press/nearly-half-all-pregnancies-are-unintended-global-crisis-says-new-unfpa-report
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:07 PM
–

It takes two to make a baby!!! Wrap it up boys!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 09:58 PM
10

Yeah, there was a weird post today as well about how all men in relationships must have “power” over their partner by virtue of social position/wealth/physical attractiveness. I don’t think that’s correct either!! Relationships are partnerships not power trips
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 09:33 PM
17

Maybe we’re supposed to come up with objective universal rules and an objective universal 1-10 rating system for both women and men, then… somehow… force everyone to comply with it???
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 09:15 PM
11

I’ve never understood how “women” as a whole are supposed to hold our entire sex “accountable” for romantic preferences anyway. Like, functionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 09:14 PM
12

Let’s be real: Her phone is still always on waiting for Chad to call back
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:42 PM
3

I’m not even suggesting that you should ask out every friend you have who is a single woman. But making platonic friends who are women (or men) is likely to be helpful in finding potential romantic partners. Forming adult friendships is incredibly hard. I totally know that. But they can also make it possible to meet other people. I was set up with a guy because he was the former roommate of a guy who is dating a friend of mine (who I met at work but who no longer works with me). Those are the ki…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:38 PM
7

Divorce rates are literally falling (at least in the U.S.)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:33 PM
4

I was interacting with someone else, making a point that “unattractive men” can be observed to have relationships in the wild. You entered into that and altered the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:32 PM
4

Nah to expand your social network, which can lead to forming friendships, which can eventually help meet women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:30 PM
4

Well that sucks dude and I can understand why it would be really frustrating. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:20 PM
7

He’s doing fine now. But he was absolutely not flush with cash when they met (which I know because of the industry we’re in and his position until ~4 years ago)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:19 PM
6

You ignored what I said first lol so it didn’t seem as though I had an obligation to respond to your point
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:17 PM
7

Literally my boss (who is great! I think he’s actually the best) is like 35, met his wife on OLD, is shorter than I am, and is not hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:16 PM
5

And this is when I’m sure you’ve already heard suggestions to engage in hobbies that may also attract women — pottery, taking an improv class, joining a running group, dance classes, wine + paint classes, heck board game groups. I’m sure you’ve tried these things?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:15 PM
9

(not related to physical appearance) Because, again, if you take notice in public, you will see less-than-attractive men with women too
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:12 PM
5

Fr tho the universe must be so confusing to people who truly think like this
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:06 PM
5

You have a skewed definition of both power and human relationship dynamics. Good luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:03 PM
11

Ohhhhh so this is about your belief that you are a rare person who can understand the truth of human behavior. Hope that works out for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:02 PM
14

What opportunities do you think other men have that you don’t (not related to physical appearance), and why can’t you have them?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:58 PM
9

This is a really weird view of relationship dynamics that I think you will find most people do not share. His “power” is not what attracts me to him. I find him physically appealing (and wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone I didn’t find physically appealing) but that fact doesn’t give him “power” over me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:57 PM
19

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, and it feels trite, but if you just look around you at couples in public, it will disprove the notion that every man has to look like Chad to find a female partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:55 PM
10

What a horribly cynical view of relationships. I think healthy romantic relationships are built on shared love, trust, friendship, and desire. I’m very sure my (male) partner would agree with me. He doesn’t have power over me; I don’t have power over him. We are equals who make decisions together but have our own agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:51 PM
0

So your assumption here is that media and literature reflect feminist philosophy and that is very incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:39 PM
1

I’d be wary of getting together with a man with a shit credit score because I want to buy a house someday (soonish)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 06:46 PM
4

Modern feminism is very much of the mindset that women should have the freedom to decide their own path, whether that is homemaking or a career.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 04:22 PM
4

It’s unfortunate that your experience has led you to form this conclusion about how women behave. I disagree with your assessment, and I’m sure lots of other women here would too, but I doubt that would change your belief. Is there anything that could?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 04:10 PM
1

Where did I imply that being unable to attract a woman was a character flaw? I was replying to someone who said that men do not have to plan dates if they don’t want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 03:08 PM
3

This is absolutely not an accurate assessment of most women’s behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:38 PM
6

Yep. Have also cared for my partner post surgery — not to mention when he’s just ill!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:34 PM
2

For real I’ve initiated several (at least) first dates and even suggested activities to go along with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:31 PM
4

Romance has the objective of making your partner feel special and love. Emphasis on special. Have you asked other men what they consider romantic or what makes them feel special? Because I can guarantee that my partner feels those emotions when I perform actions that you would consider “routine.” I know this because he has told me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:25 PM
5

Considering your flair says “diagnosed ASPD” perhaps you are not a particularly accurate judge of what other humans think and feel. Just a supposition.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:17 PM
5

And that we’re all lying about our feelings on the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:59 PM
1

Good to know :)
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 06:46 PM
6

They think we are “sexual rivals” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:41 PM
1

I don’t think I’m some kind of “victim” — I think I’m very lucky to live a happy life — but I would love for random men to never pay me attention.
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 06:29 PM
3

Yeah I actually have no problem with people being happy with their first partner. I think happiness should be a general societal goal, and for people who are already happy, society should try to not get in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:29 PM
7

Maybe if you’ve only ever been with one partner you don’t have a conception of happiness being anything other than what you’ve experienced. And maybe the IFS is a conservative, religious, biased organization that had cause to weight the survey a certain way!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:22 PM
1

I would rather random people literally never sexualize me, actually.
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 06:01 PM
1

I didn’t say it wasn’t tall. I said 6 ft is too tall for me — and that’s what men on here keep saying is the “standard” anyway
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 05:48 PM
8

…….the women I’m friends with don’t see each other as sexual rivals?? Most of us are partnered now, but even in college: girls in my friend group were not going after men their friends liked. We were therefore not rivals.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:38 PM
1

I have never been friends with women who passed moral judgement — including in the guise of offering concern — over sexual interactions. I am a very liberal person who went to a very liberal school and I live in a very liberal city.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:25 PM
3

Yup I’ve called many women bitches 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:18 PM
4

I have never had friends who talk that way about other women. How strange.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:17 PM
7

The first insult you hear from a woman when she is trying to put another woman down is always "slut" or "whore". That should tell you all you need to know about how other women feel about promiscuous women. I was responding to this comment. I have heard and seen many men call women sluts or whores. I have seen it infrequently — and not in many, many years — from women. Personally, those words have only been directed at me by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:06 PM
12

Not the women I’m friends with because they are also “whorish sluts”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:04 PM
4

The messages I’ve gotten in it are so empowering 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:00 PM
11

I have only, ONLY ever been called a slut or whore by a man — and it’s always been here on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 04:59 PM
1

Interesting. What do you think I’m lying about? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 02:34 PM
-1

Idk I think that guy is kinda cute. Certainly fuckable.
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 04:28 AM
–

Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be able to do better as a society now, in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 03:29 AM
–

Do you think two people both earning ABOVE minimum wage (let’s say $12 and $15 / hour respectively, for the sake of argument), should be unable to afford a two bedroom rental for them and their child?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 03:17 AM
–

Do you think single parents always make more than minimum wage?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 03:13 AM
–

In the US the federal minimum wage is $7.25. In 2023, a full-time worker needs to earn an hourly wage of $28.58 on average to afford a modest, two-bedroom rental home in the U.S. This Housing Wage for a two-bedroom home is nearly four times higher than the federal minimum wage of $7.25. In 21 states and the District of Columbia, the two-bedroom Housing Wage is more than $25.00 per hour. A full-time worker needs to earn an hourly wage of $23.67 on average to afford a modest one-bedroom rental hom…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 03:11 AM
-1

I swiped right on many men. Some I considered handsome; most I considered “fine” or “passable” or however you want to frame it. I met up with the ones who it seemed like I could share something beyond physical attraction with. Sometimes “attractive” guys are boring. Sometimes they’re hilarious and cool. Same is true of guys who are “passable.” My only other LTR was with someone who I did not consider attractive during our initial acquaintance (we met IRL). Didn’t stop me from sleeping with him o…
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 02:50 AM
-1

It had no bearing on who I swiped on on the apps, had sex with, or dated, but go off bro
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 02:36 AM
-1

Yeah this. I can recognize that someone is handsome without feeling immediate lust for him.
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 02:15 AM
4

If you think women’s advice is unhelpful you don’t have to listen to it and that’s fine, I just don’t think we’re incentivized to give bad advice in the way you suggested
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:44 AM
6

Idk I actually think it’s preferable to have a population that’s as happy as possible and it seems to depress a lot of men on here that they don’t have a successful romantic relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:37 AM
7

I think women can give very clear and helpful advice. Some of us have even planned dates that we and our partners / dates enjoyed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:35 AM
2

Hang the DJ and it’s the only episode of Black Mirror I like
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:32 AM
-4

Interesting perspective! Guess I’m wrong.
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 12:36 AM
-8

If two guys were 6’3” and 5’10” but identical in all other ways, I’d choose the 5’10” guy 🤷‍♀️
/r/AllPillDebate05/10/23 12:05 AM
6

Hey. Sounds like you’re really struggling with some stuff right now. I hope you have professional help accessible to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 11:24 PM
-1

My brother is more feminist than I am. He’s had multiple girlfriends / hookups apparently (yuck) My bf is a feminist. I think it’s one of the hottest things about him
/r/AllPillDebate04/10/23 11:02 PM
-8

Guys over 5’11” literally seem too tall to me (as a prospective partner) lol
/r/AllPillDebate04/10/23 10:59 PM
10

??? What if we don’t get along???
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 10:53 PM
6

And I am addressing specific sympathy to specific people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 09:10 PM
4

I was addressing a specific person; it would’ve been odd to use a plural pronoun. Sorry for you tho
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 09:07 PM
–

Have you ever done the old “pretend this woman is a friend you’re bumping into in public?” I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:40 PM
–

Excuse me, are you really equating a suggestion that your point does not logically have anything to do with mine to an assertion that “women aren’t welcome on PPD”? Just to be explicitly clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:30 PM
–

Wow that’s an escalation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:24 PM
1

You said women have no testosterone; you were wrong. Not sure why you’re harping on that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:24 PM
–

That is a non sequitur which I’m not sure why you felt compelled to write here?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:22 PM
5

I don’t assume having a dick or balls makes men incapable of self control. If I did, it seems that would be incredibly dismissive or degrading. Women do have testosterone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:05 PM
1

Rise of MLM schemes and “crunchy parenting” (I see these things as problems, probably not everyone would)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 07:17 PM
12

some of them never seem to have heard of the concept of self-control
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 06:51 PM
10

Yep, did I suggest somewhere that it wasn’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 06:31 PM
29

I think it’s really telling that some men seem to expect empathy from women before they’ll possibly consider anything that they say — even on subs like this where the misogyny is so rampant.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 06:29 PM
–

I’ve been told repeatedly that if it’s not lust at first sight it can never be real love (with physical attraction)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 06:11 PM
2

Omg my partner is my very best friend and if I told him his sexual partnership meant more to me than his friendship and companionship he would probably cry with sadness
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:40 PM
9

There are other women here who I know you have engaged with and whose opinion you value and I would encourage you to go back and have a conversation about why work for the rights and needs of women is important because I don’t think it’s a conversation you’d like to have with a feminist given your views.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:38 PM
3

I’m sorry that’s been your experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:20 PM
2

Intelligence: I love that he can (and wants to) have deeply meaningful conversations about intellectual topics, teach me things about his interests, do the crossword with me, and learn new things with me. Emotional maturity: He is able to be emotionally open with me when he is sad, anxious, upset, or frustrated — but he doesn’t exhibit anger in toxic ways that I’ve seen in my life before. Shared values: We share the same core values. Very important to me. Humor: He makes me laugh more than anyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:16 PM
9

That’s an assumption that you are making that I assume stems from experiences which I’m sorry you’ve had.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:03 PM
6

Actually I don’t even agree that I’d be called a pick me for mentioning men’s issues in other spaces — it was a claim other men made of what they assumed would happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:00 PM
16

I am very, very much trying to come at this in good faith. You seem here to approach this comment and perhaps feminists in general with the view that if someone is not perfectly empathetic at all times, they lack empathy. That’s just how I’m interpreting it. You seem reluctant to consider that if women/feminists want to address issues pertaining to women, but do NOT happen to also automatically address issues / the same issues pertaining to men, that that is sexist and unhelpful. What it seems t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:59 PM
36

Autistic women are better at and more conditioned to mask, which I think is relevant: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10060524/#:~:text=Females%20are%20likely%20more%20socially,or%20missing%20diagnosis%20(8). https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202104/masking-and-mental-health-in-women-autism?amp
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:17 PM
20

I certainly don’t think most men on here want to sexually enslave women but two or three is enough to get really jaded
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:05 PM
31

I have personally shown repeated empathy for men’s issues, to the point that I’ve been told on separate occasions that I should try posting that in [other sub] and they’ll call me a pick me. I personally do my very best to validate individual negative experiences men have had; I know, for example, that I’ve told you before that I believe your history and that abuse towards men is not acceptable. I have told many, many, many men that I think male loneliness is real and is something that should be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:03 PM
39

I understand men wanting to vent and I understand that men’s struggles with dating are very personally difficult for so many people. I find it very challenging when women are slut shamed, told we are lying about our own experiences or feelings, told that we’re “unicorns” so our opinions don’t matter, told that we have no empathy, told that we hate all men, told that men know better about what women are really like, or told that we are just ignoring reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 03:47 PM
1

The intimacy I share with my partner is not what I “shared” with men with whom I had casual sex, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 03:40 PM
9

There was just a post in the marriage sub about how often couples were having sex. A bunch said like 4-5 times a week! That would be way too much for me though.
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 01:22 PM
0

Yes that thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 12:25 PM
3

It seems high-ish to me in that I think sleeping with 35 people would require a lot of dating around / going to parties or bars to hook up and I never enjoyed that, but it’s in no way astronomical. It’s just a person who enjoys casual sex imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 12:14 PM
9

Those average couples at Walmart don’t count because they MUST be in dead bedroom marriages where the wife isn’t really physically attracted to her partner, obviously /s
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 12:00 PM
6

I know for a fact most women in relationships are not sexually attracted to heir boyfriend or husband. Most people choose to be in relationships with people to whom they are sexually attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 11:57 AM
0

Women are capable of self-control, actually, even in cases where we are physically attracted to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 11:38 AM
2

Yeah, that’s where he lost me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:27 AM
15

And my parents, partners’ parents, all my mother’s siblings, and most of my partner’s and my grandparents have had loving, lasting marriages. I’m sorry you’ve seen different examples in your family, but it is not hard to find real love around you when you look.
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 01:25 AM
3

Those are not jobs I would personally want or be good at but if I had a daughter or sister I wouldn’t be, like, ideologically opposed to them taking on such work.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:12 AM
–

I’m sorry you haven’t received external validation. I do believe that that must be really difficult for you. I don’t value compliments from (random) men because they usually have involved overt sexualization, in my experience. I value compliments from my partner and male friends, as well as women. But this is also why we tell men that they need to compliment each other. Men should lift each other up, as women try to do with each other. I actually do compliment my male friends and brother because…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 10:25 PM
11

Food for thought: maybe TRP will turn even more women feminist
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:27 PM
3

I think it’s also a problem that too many men are still socialized to truly believe they are more “rational” than women and that their opinions matter more — so even when women explicitly lay out how we’re thinking and feeling about something they assume they know better.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 08:10 PM
3

That sucks, but it sounds like you dodged a bullet! Good luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:09 PM
–

I’m sure I could find instances of hatred towards men there, you’re right!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:05 PM
–

Got TWO compliments from separate random women on a particular dress ~6 weeks ago and they live in my head rent free
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:03 PM
–

Interesting. I have actually never heard a woman complain about someone being a “real man” or not. I think any accusation that someone is not a “real man” is harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:52 PM
–

Cool, new word. I consider compliments from other women to be more special because women often notice and appreciate specific details that I would want noticed: like clothing and makeup. Those are not the kind of specific compliments I’ve gotten from random men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:50 PM
–

I assume you meant “gross.” Did I say somewhere that I thought compliments from men were gross?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:45 PM
–

I don’t believe men are subhuman or evil. How odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:39 PM
1

Ok, you’re free to believe that! I don’t think it’s accurate, and it’s certainly not how I behaved when dating. I don’t think your viewpoint would’ve been helpful for me in experiencing rejection or the men who I rejected. And yes, I decided that if someone wanted to go hiking every single weekend, which is not something I would ever want to do, that meant we were not a good match. I don’t think liking to hike is a flaw; I don’t think not liking to hike is a flaw. It would be really weird to con…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:13 PM
–

Why do men get to decide what is a privilege for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:05 PM
–

Maybe MEN are the weird creatures 🫢
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:00 PM
–

I compliment my male friends (and my brother!!) all the time because I’ve heard this too. Thankfully my male friends are cool people who are also in relationships so there’s no misunderstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:53 PM
1

I’ve only had one long term partner besides my current partner. I’m talking mostly about men I went on between 1-5 dates with, almost all without any discussion of exclusivity. The person I rejected because he was way too into hobbies I didn’t share was someone I dated exclusively for a couple months. One person who rejected me for logistical reasons (distance) was someone I dated exclusively for a similar period of time. I also had many first dates that didn’t lead to a second because there was…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:48 PM
–

Ok. I see. You think we’re lying. Cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:44 PM
–

And the preferences of many, many other women in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:33 PM
6

I let Chad treat me like 💩 and I liked it /s OBVIOUSLY
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:29 PM
2

She’s not yours, it’s just your turn /s
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:23 PM
–

A bunch of women in this thread seem to agree with me. Perhaps we are a common portion of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:17 PM
–

Sure. I think men should determine what they value. Where did I suggest otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:13 PM
–

When I was single and dating for a relationship, interest that was only sexual was absolutely useless and valueless to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:11 PM
–

Not unless I was actively dating around, in which case men on the apps or who I met for a date would pay me occasional compliments, as one does when flirting. I spent long periods not actively dating. During those times, I received compliments from female friends or occasional “in the wild” compliments from random women. Those are the ones I have always appreciated most.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:09 PM
–

I’m a hetero woman and appreciate compliments from women more than I do from men 😂 It’s not even close
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:41 PM
–

I am being 100% honest when I say that I appreciate a compliment from a woman so, so much more than a compliment from a man. Even when I wasn’t in a relationship. If no man ever complimented when I was single, I didn’t care. But I absolutely treasure compliments from other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:40 PM
–

Why should men (like you) get to determine what is of value to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:00 PM
–

Exactly. You are trying to apply aspects of male sexuality to female behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:56 PM
–

And I believe that is a flawed assumption. https://reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/Z6kv9hNYgJ
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:55 PM
–

You continually seem to be trying to apply aspects of male sexuality to female behavior and it’s simply not going to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:49 PM
–

Idk I don’t think my viewpoint is particularly rare. I’ve certainly seen other women articulate similar sentiments on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:48 PM
–

Whenever this user brings up this debate he fails to include the fact that many women also said it’s nonspecific, random men who are “invisible” — men we’re just passing in the street or the grocery store.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:27 PM
–

I find plenty of people just neutral because I don’t go around deeply determining how I feel about random people’s appearance. Most men I pass on the street probably have physical attributes that I could consider attractive, but as random people I do not know and have no interest in, I just feel neutral about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:26 PM
–

I’m a woman and I had the same attitude! Made dating around so much less stressful!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:18 PM
1

the trait or quality you got rejected for being deficient in I mean, this is not the root of the rejection I faced. I wasn’t rejected because I was “deficient”; I didn’t reject men because they were “deficient.” I’ve been rejected because of logistical circumstances, because something just wasn’t “clicking” (and if you’ve dated around enough, you’ll know what I mean), and in one case a previous long term partner mutually rejected each other a few times because of toxicity in our relationship. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:14 PM
2

Same!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:07 PM
–

Some of them seem to think it’s normal to “rate” everyone you see on a scale of 1-10 and like… what kind of Black Mirror shit is that
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:20 AM
–

I’m pretty sure it’s the fact that we’re in a committed, loving relationship that keeps him from “exploring,” actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:17 AM
–

I’ve said it many times on this hellscape of a sub: some people have never been in love (with someone who’s in love with them back)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:13 AM
–

If he thinks there’s a “better option” out there he’s free to go look for her; I wouldn’t stop him. Him merely wanting “other options” would mean I no longer wanted him.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:13 AM
–

If he breaks up with me, that means we’re not right for each other. That’d be sad, but it wouldn’t be a competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:09 AM
–

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:03 AM
–

I disagree. Cheating says much more about the cheater than about the other man/woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:01 AM
–

I am a person in a relationship. I’m not in competition with other women for my partner. If he decided to cheat, it wouldn’t be because someone else “won” him; it’d be because he lost all sense of morality and loyalty. Why would I want him after that?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 02:57 AM
0

Something we can agree on (ish, like, ASAP doesn’t have to be date #1 to me)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 02:25 AM
16

Bet she never made CHAD buy dinner first!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 02:04 AM
6

I would never marry someone about whose history I know so little. I would never marry someone with whom I wasn’t sexually compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 02:03 AM
2

Someone else said it already and I entirely agree: If I like someone, but there’s another person they know who would be a better fit for them, I wouldn’t want to “win” the competition. Similarly, if two people pick each other over other people, I don’t think that’s really a competition that those other people should want to win either.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:59 AM
3

I have experienced rejection by people I liked. It wasn’t fun, as I’m sure rejection isn’t fun for most people! But anyone can not want to date me for any reason. That’s their right. And in my opinion, someone who doesn’t want another person is definitionally “wrong” for that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:57 AM
2

You seem to believe women lack self awareness or self control. You are incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:39 AM
3

Lol well fair if that’s your worldview!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:38 AM
1

It’s not like there was truly only 1 person in the world for each of you. That’s not what I believe and it’s not what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:36 AM
3

I would actually be very interested in seeing a breakdown of the following: 18-20; 21-25; 26-30; 31-35; 36-45; 46-55; 56-65; 66-80; 80+
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 10:44 PM
4

And none of that means social conditioning suddenly ceases to matter. In fact, most people perform actions based on social conditioning in defiance of “irrational” brain chemistry and “powerful feelings” quite frequently. It’s called self control.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 10:41 PM
4

And you know this because it’s a logical assumption, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 10:04 PM
7

And this is an assumption that completely fails to take into account what I wrote above.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 09:44 PM
12

That is a blanket statement that I’m sure you’re able to back up with statistics, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 09:34 PM
20

My “best option” — or, as I’d think of it “best match” — isn’t someone who I would need to “win” over someone else. I think that people who are the best matches pick each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 08:45 PM
13

Ooooh it’s like a magnet
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 08:24 PM
14

She might also wait because women are frequently shamed for “putting out” too quickly; told that “he won’t by the cow if he gets the milk for free”; and told that no man will want a “high n count” woman (just look at this sub).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 08:21 PM
2

And that is another assumption you’re making about me. I appreciate statistics more than assertions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:59 PM
3

Again, you are making assumptions about behavior and preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:51 PM
5

Oh my you are way, way off. I was in elementary school then.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:40 PM
4

How old do you think I am?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:38 PM
7

Ok, want to show me the stats about “what men are validated by”?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:37 PM
12

Women treat the hookup guys better than the boyfriend guys based on what men value and are validated by. This is assuming a hell of a lot both about the actions of women and the desires of other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:28 PM
20

I’ve had people tell me that I don’t really love my boyfriend, that I will leave him, that he doesn’t respect me because of my “n-count” but is his settling for me because he knows he can’t do any better, or that I’m not actually attracted to him. It’s definitely abnormal to truly believe you know specific people’s inner thoughts, feelings, and beliefs better than they do, or that you have more insight into their personal lives and closest relationships than they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:04 PM
26

Pretty sure I’ve also seen a good amount of “women are inherent liars”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 06:09 PM
–

I couldn’t begin to imagine how men feel about “competition” with other men and I believe it is odd to consider yourself in “competition” with everyone else of your gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:39 PM
8

But it’s not “most.”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:33 PM
6

Most Only 40% of first marriages end in divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 01:50 PM
–

I personally do not “root against” other women either in the workplace or personally. I’ve seen it happen, of course — but far less frequently than I have seen and experienced women lifting other women up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 01:37 PM
24

When you don’t break out groups by age, only ~4% more women than men are in relationships. Many more women ages 65+ are single than men in that age group. When you look at the 18-29 group, it’s very likely that some of the disparity comes from the fact that women are likely to marry someone ~2 years older (average age gap in hetero relationships is 2.3 yrs with the man being older). That plays into the the 65+ age group disparity, too. Women live longer than men, so they are likely to outlive th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 01:35 PM
8

You are right :) I hope you’re able to develop healthy relationships with women in the future, if that’s something you’re interested in doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:42 PM
9

Weirdest thing ever to have people tell me that I am lying about my own relationship lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:39 PM
6

It’s interesting that you think that is a necessary caveat. It’s incorrect; I’m done looking for good — unless (God forbid) he ever died. Even then probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:40 AM
–

Also shamed, stigmatized, degraded, harassed…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:38 AM
10

I literally was only looking for a man who I could love and would love me back, based on shared interests, values, hopes, desires, and connection. I found that. I never needed a millionaire. My partner isn’t a millionaire. He isn’t a 6ft tall, super muscular, player-type Chad. But I’m still done looking. Weird, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:08 AM
9

Eh this is a weird take. I always showed interest in topics of conversation driven by the men who I went on dates with, even if I wasn’t directly interested in them. That’s basic social courtesy. I listen to and engage with my boyfriend when he talks about things that really interest him, even when they don’t really interest me. Again, common courtesy. That doesn’t mean I need to personally invest interest in whatever that topic is. My boyfriend and I have plenty of shared hobbies and interests.…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:04 AM
–

And why do you believe it to be more likely?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 06:26 PM
–

Why is it impossible that you might be misjudging men who are actually below average as average?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 06:11 PM
–

Ok, you think our perception of men’s dating struggles is inaccurate. Isn’t it just as possible that your conception of “average” isn’t accurate?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 05:41 PM
3

My boyfriend and I enjoy eating out and when we do, we’re always surrounded by other couples. The men very, very rarely look to be 6’2” 10% body fat Chads — in my country, only ~13% of men are 6ft or taller!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 01:57 PM
6

I think it’s probable that there are more than 2% of men who really, really struggle to have any romantic success with women, but I would agree that it’s certainly not enough to make that group the “average.” Like, if you’re in the bottom 25th percentile in something, you are not average.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 01:24 PM
4

Lots of happy relationship stories in the “love” subreddit if you’re interested. Lots of happy relationships around me IRL, too — including mine. My partner and I mainly socialize with other people in couples. I obviously don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but my friends tell me how much they appreciate their partners and they certainly seem content, comfortable, and committed when we see them together.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 01:12 PM
12

It’s also theorized that it’s a biological adaptation to ensure there are experienced women who have already successfully raised children around to help younger women raise theirs, without having to worry about having babies/toddlers of their own to care for. OP should consider simply googling something before making wildly unscientific claims. https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/02/07/692088371/living-near-your-grandmother-has-evolutionary-benefit
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 01:05 PM
2

Put this song on repeat til the end of time. Average men are doing fine!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 12:50 PM
–

This is definitely a you problem, I’m sorry to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 02:55 PM
–

It is not socially “normal” to make eye contact with random people on the street. Women are perfectly capable of — and do — make eye contact when they are interacting. It’s also not socially “normal” to maintain that eye contact all of the time when you are interacting with someone. If you are using too much eye contact, you will come across as creepy (which this post already does). Women frequently avoid eye contact or other signs that we might have interest in someone if they are creepy. Eye c…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 02:47 PM
8

Society is not collapsing; people are still choosing to make romantic partnerships and have children; society is not collapsing; get a new perceived crisis to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 02:32 AM
3

I think my boyfriend and I both feel we love and are loved by the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 01:20 AM
19

I’m really thankful to have men in my life who care for me and who I care for and I wish that was true of everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 11:55 PM
1

I have no idea how your question relates to my comment. I don’t believe anyone should “settle” for their romantic partner.
/r/AllPillDebate29/09/23 11:22 PM
1

I suppose I consider my man “high value” in that I value him very highly. He is a caring, supportive, loving partner. He gets the same in return. Romantic relationships can be incredibly fulfilling.
/r/AllPillDebate29/09/23 11:12 PM
5

As another left-leaning feminist, I would be incredibly concerned. When you ask him about what he believes, you’ll need to decide whether those are beliefs that you can live with for the rest of your life. Will you end up feeling stifled, ignored, downtrodden, used, or disrespected? Or are you ok with your spouse holding wildly different values from your own?
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 09:31 PM
12

Lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 08:30 PM
7

You don’t think that social shaming from the minority of men who care about “body count” isn’t enough to make women lie?
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 05:30 PM
5

Idk I think it’s creepy of Madonna too lol You wanna show me where I used the word “we” in that comment, orangeface?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 01:07 PM
10

Idk I think it’s creepy of Madonna too lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:36 PM
14

Having a “high body count” has no more moral weight than having a “low body count.” They are morally neutral. Having had healthy relationship experience, or even just experience that helps one understand what the need in a romantic partner and how to have a healthy relationship, is ime beneficial to most adults.
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 12:31 PM
23

This. It’s very personally offensive — the number of times I’ve been told I “don’t really love” my bf in one way or another on here is absurd
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:24 PM
7

I’ll say it again, some of you have just never been in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:22 PM
23

Literally just trying to be happy is what helped me. I try to do things that I find fulfilling, whether that’s personally, professionally, with hobbies, etc. It’s a lot easier to not care about other people if you’re just trying to live the best life for you.
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 02:48 AM
3

You’re in luck, I’m someone who consumes a lot of “older” media (I love Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart movies) and also media that is coded to be “older” (historical fiction). I’ve heard the expression plenty of times — always in reference to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:32 PM
13

I also love that he thinks “never been single for longer than 5 months” is an inherently bad thing. (I’m not saying it’s inherently good, either — rather morally neutral.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:28 PM
1

You literally never hear that though do you. It’s always about disparaging women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:26 PM
9

And “incel” is just slang for “virgin.” Why is that so bad to say? I genuinely don’t understand. /s for the mods
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 09:31 PM
7

You have a source for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 09:03 PM
8

I guarantee that “the analyzer of said study” has more of a background in statistical analysis than you do. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/daniel-a-cox/ If you think you know better, I encourage you to look up the Dunning-Kruger bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 09:02 PM
7

The claim isn’t that “having friends will get you a romantic life.” It’s that there is a crisis of loneliness in men, which means that as a group many lack the social opportunities that come with having a network of friends or the skills that come from socialization. Doesn’t mean you specifically lack friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:59 PM
9

I’m not saying we’re “sensing” it. I’m saying YOU aren’t as good at concealing it as you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:54 PM
10

Today, only 22 percent of young men lean on their friends in tough times. Thirty-six percent say their first call is to their parents. Unfortunately, this new survey is consistent with a growing body of research. A major national survey of Americans’ social networks conducted last year revealed that Americans’ social circles were contracting. Nearly one in five Americans reported having no close social connections, a double-digit increase from 2013. And young men are faring worse than most: More…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:54 PM
7

Nah if you think like this about women trust that it slips thru the facade.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:47 PM
8

https://hive.rochesterregional.org/mens-health/men-loneliness-friends https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:40 PM
12

Centering the solution to the loneliness epidemic on romantic relationships is incredibly myopic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:31 PM
17

Do women even like men Do you even like women? Doesn’t seem so.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:22 PM
3

Women helped “build society” too ffs
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 06:14 PM
5

Queen Elizabeth I Jane Austen Plato Gloria Steinem
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 06:13 PM
2

I agree men should value their partners (and vice versa). Mine shows that he values me every day. At what do you think that they should “try harder”?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:45 PM
3

“That’s a pity” suggests that it’s not a good thing. How else am I to interpret that statement?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:16 PM
6

Women want men with interior lives
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:13 PM
5

I’m actually very happy that he has goals, values, and connections outside of me. He’s a full person with or without our romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:12 PM
4

I am not what motivates my boyfriend to “try” in his work life, with his friends, or with his family, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:09 PM
3

Men stop finding their worth in romantic relationships challenge
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 03:50 PM
7

I don’t think anyone has denied that many women have experiences dating men who are older.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 03:48 PM
2

I have essentially no social media presence. Bf continues to keep up a presence on IG. He’s never shared me on it. I really could not care less.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 01:09 PM
6

Why are you asking me? I’ve been through it and know other women who have too — I’m not a good source of information for that question.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 12:16 PM
6

Is that what I said?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 12:10 PM
1

^ exactly this has happened with me
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:45 AM
15

In my experience, it’s not because we’re jealous or “resenting reality.” It’s because we’ve been through it ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:32 AM
4

Having self worth does not mean you view other people as unworthy. That is not how it works. Having self worth also shouldn’t be (and in well adjusted people is not) predicated upon having any other person view you as “worthy.” Self worth is an internal function.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 11:20 PM
–

Are you saying “western women” are incapable of supporting their partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 12:21 PM
–

Interesting that you say “don’t usually find their partners all that attractive.” I think attraction is a key component of the relationships around me. Even if I don’t think a woman’s partner is attractive, it’s generally pretty clear that SHE thinks he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 08:54 PM
15

This is exredpill, where we don’t use terms like “sexual market value.”
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 08:11 PM
4

How very odd that you assume all other men view women the way you do.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 08:07 PM
32

“High value” and “low value” is some RP bs. Normal functioning people don’t think this way. As a woman, my value does NOT come from my beauty. It comes from who I am. My values. Being kind. My intelligence. My loyalty.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 07:23 PM
1

Believe all women does not mean Sarah can tell you how Jane feels.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 07:16 PM
1

“Women quoted in an article” is not evidence for how the “vast majority” of women feel about something.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 07:13 PM
1

I certainly agree that if Mrs. Smith divorces Mr. Smith, it means she doesn’t want to be married to him. It says nothing about how Mrs. Jones feels for Mr. Jones.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 07:09 PM
1

You should believe specific women about their specific feelings regarding their specific husbands.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 07:05 PM
2

Said like a man who has wide and varied experiences interacting with women IRL.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 06:46 PM
1

I believe those women didn’t find their spouses physically attractive. Show me where I contested that. I am pointing out that what THOSE women said about THEIR lives and experiences is not a good basis for deciding what OTHER women feel about their DIFFERENT lives and experiences.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 06:35 PM
0

Show me where I said that.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 06:23 PM
–

I totally believe you’ve come across women who say that. But that fact that they exist doesn’t negate the many, many other women who don’t have that “standard,” including the women here on PPD. Do you believe they’re just being more honest than we are?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 06:21 PM
–

My boyfriend is the most attractive person in any room to me. I have seen men who are “objectively” more handsome. They are not more attractive to me than my boyfriend is; they could never inspire that desire you spoke of. I have told him this. He found it affirming — he’s told me I make him feel great about himself. Again just let women feel what we feel! It doesn’t have to be a con!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 06:19 PM
1

Women from your grandmothers’ and great grandmothers’ generations who married from societal pressure are not a great basis for forming all your views about how modern women who do not face those same pressures feel about their own lives and partners.
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 06:07 PM
–

Have you never heard of love goggles? My boyfriend is a 10 to me. I know that’s not objective. I know he’s not a “real” 10 (I also think the rating system X/10 is bs but whatever) Just let women feel what we feel!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 06:04 PM
–

I have never met someone who actually has that kind of financial requirement for the people they date. When people ask this question on Reddit (here or in ask women or w/e), I primarily see responses of women saying they want a partner who is able to take care of their own expenses. I think that’s a reasonable preference (for women OR men). There are plenty of women on PPD who have actually said they support their male partners financially. I’m not one of them — my partner and I split pretty eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 06:03 PM
–

Idk man if you’re actually a sociopath you prob don’t have the best grasp of what other humans actually experience to be fair
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 05:45 PM
–

Ah I see so you believe that women seek partners for material gain. I disagree on the whole, though I certainly can acknowledge that those women do exist too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 05:45 PM
–

I do believe that all love outside parent/guardian-child love has conditions. If my boyfriend cheated on me or abused me, which he would never do, I imagine I’d fall out of love with him. If he just started ignoring me one day, dismissing my wants and needs entirely, or stopped respecting me as a person, and that was not just a brief phase that we could work through and he could apologize for, I imagine I’d fall out of love with him. I’m sure the same is true if you reverse participants. But imo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 05:12 PM
–

How many men here actually believe that when women say we love and are sexually attracted to our partners* that we are lying? *(Even when our partners aren’t 6ft+ ultra handsome ultra rich Chads)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 04:44 PM
3

He really believes he knows how individual women think and feel better than they do. Delusions of grandeur perhaps?
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 04:38 PM
15

Some do. Some don’t. I had an age gap relationship during my late teens/ early 20s that put me off them forever. I think that’s a fairly common experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 02:33 PM
-1

Lmfao that is not what “blue pillers” see as success
/r/AllPillDebate22/09/23 01:28 PM
2

Bf and I talked about this once. He said he’d choose me. I would also, more importantly, choose me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 03:06 AM
0

Uh idk man ask him not me
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:49 AM
8

Some of you have simply never been in love
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 11:41 PM
8

Because we have to nationalize that sweet punani /s
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:08 PM
–

Yeah. It sounds like you’ve never been in love. I’m sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 08:32 PM
–

That’s sad you feel that way
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 08:22 PM
–

Countless comments on Reddit, even on PPD, of women saying "Just cause I did XYZ sex act with Chad, doesn't mean I'm obligated to do it for my current man. After the first 20 times, I realized I didn't like it." People who enjoy sex don’t necessarily enjoy all sexual experiences. These are not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 08:09 PM
–

How disturbing. My partner wants me to enjoy our sex life as much as he does, including by feeling completely comfortable and safe with him. Leads to much more enjoyable sex for both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 08:02 PM
–

Said like someone who’s never been in love
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:58 PM
–

It’s weird you think people should perform sex acts that they find uncomfortable, painful, degrading, or otherwise harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:56 PM
–

Got to the end of the second paragraph before deciding that yep, it’s a larping man
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:55 PM
–

Yes! My boyfriend only cares about my previous sexual experience in that I know what I like in bed lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:53 PM
–

People are not obligated to perform sex acts they don’t enjoy, correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:52 PM
–

I don’t go into a ton of detail about past sexual experiences with my partner, but he knows I’ve had casual sex. He doesn’t care. Some men don’t. He’s very secure about ME; my “body count” doesn’t come into it. I don’t think you should assume that all men would feel insecure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:49 PM
3

Indeed, there are definitely also women who are poor communicators.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:41 PM
–

Lol. No. If something is important to me, I talk to my partner about it. If something’s important to him, he talks to me. Our relationship is based on what we want and need — not what other people do in their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:09 PM
1

You’re making a generalization that I think is unfounded.
/r/AllPillDebate21/09/23 04:27 PM
5

Over the course of a date, I’ve gone from “I don’t think I’m attracted to this guy” to “actually I’m VERY attracted to him” so again, different experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:27 PM
-1

I can almost guarantee that shampoo X in the blue bottle is formulated for something different than shampoo Y in the red bottle if they’re from the same brand. I would be annoyed at having the wrong shampoo for my hair too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:25 PM
6

My VERY smart and capable boyfriend had not had a dental or eye appointment in ~2 years so it seems they’re getting through life single by just ignoring simple tasks of adulting
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:23 PM
11

Oh I’ve been told several times on here by men that if the physical attraction isn’t immediate it’s not real and that women are lying about saying attraction can grow so 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 01:35 PM
15

Oooh this has actually happened to me. Got set up on a date with an acquaintance. We ended up having so much in common! We talked for hours, had a great time. He was physically similar to guys I’d been attracted to in the past. But I didn’t feel a spark: I went out with him several more times, and I kissed him at the end of our final date (I initiated). He did not seem into it. That kind of sealed the deal for me. My takeaway was that he wasn’t interested enough in me to try to flirt. But my poi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:58 PM
15

I think most women agree that at the bare minimum a man has to be able to take care of himself. These are what you listed. Then, and I also believe this is a very “low” standard to have to meet in a relationship, there are expectations of being able to communicate effectively, express emotion in healthy ways, and value one’s partner as an equal participant in the relationship. This seems to be, ime, where more men struggle. And then you still have to find someone who you actually like and who li…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:39 PM
1

Interesting. I think the “standards” I’ve seen in relationships in my social circle are very straightforward.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:34 PM
4

I think most men believe our “standards” are already too high, so not sure that’ll go over particularly well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:01 AM
3

I believe in love lol so I think there is a lot that heterosexual women can gain by finding a partner (if they want one) but I do know that finding a good match — someone who you love and who loves you back, and adds value to your life rather than detracting — is no easy task!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 10:16 PM
1

I’m not privy to their work conduct. I am privy to how they treat people socially: with consideration, kindness, empathy, generosity, etc. It is entirely possible that they are totally different — unethical — people at work, but that would mean assuming the worst of them. I tend not to do that of my friends. Moreover, if they even had an “unethical” side that was confined entirely to their job rather than their interpersonal relationships, it wouldn’t make sense for their partners to have been a…
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 09:01 PM
1

No idea what you’re implying.
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:52 PM
0

Not my fantasy. Not all women.
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:51 PM
1

I have never met a man who I wanted to fuck upon first glance. That is not how sexuality works for me, and from what I’ve heard from other women, it seems that I’m not a weird outlier.
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:49 PM
1

Is that what you fantasize about? Not my fantasy but don’t wanna yuck your yum!
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:44 PM
1

My partner and our friends are also not white collar criminals, no. One of my friends smokes weed. It’s legal here tho.
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:40 PM
2

Lol I do indeed only think about my adoring, loyal boyfriend. Dreams included. Love’s a helluva drug!
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:12 PM
1

I assume you think that’s a downgrade. What do you think makes him a “beta” and what do you think that means about our relationship?
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:10 PM
2

What in the world
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 08:02 PM
4

Personally love my kind, considerate boyfriend. We are friends with many couples. The men are uniformly not serial killers, rapists, pedophiles, or criminals (to my knowledge, I guess?). We’re friends with nice people. Weird af take.
/r/AllPillDebate20/09/23 07:57 PM
4

Yes, I sent them this. It apparently does not say what it says.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:46 PM
8

I replied to someone the link with the stats about dads getting custody when they ask for it and was told I did not provide any evidence for what I was saying
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:10 PM
2

Well you’re not a straight woman lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 12:20 PM
1

2,3,4,6 & 7 here are attractive dad bods imo, and generally what I believe women are thinking about when we refer to that physique. Harry Styles’ muscles are tbh no more attractive to me than those bodies. I grant that I would probably notice Harry Styles-like muscles because they are noticeable, but they’re not really more attractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 11:20 AM
2

The bit about him being more religious than you is interesting to me. A lot of Reddit atheists are extremely militant about hating religion and decrying it as something only stupid indoctrinated people believe in so I almost can’t believe that two people with such varying beliefs could make things work very well. Not an atheist If you’re to have children, would you be open to him introducing them to his religion? This is what we’re doing And if he doesn’t mind your prior sexual experience, does …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 11:01 AM
2

Just want to say that this is very clear and considered and I agree with you entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 02:46 AM
1

Oh I don’t think it’s “credit” — it’s just important to me to be an equal partner financially when I can.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:04 AM
2

I’d probably earn a bit more than childcare would cost. Financially, we’d be more secure with me working, but I want to take more time than maternity leave in my country allows.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 08:38 PM
8

My relationship is probably the antithesis of TRP. My boyfriend is 5’10” and a very liberal feminist. He doesn’t go to the gym (I’ve said before that he’s skinny and some men have had a problem with that, idk why — it’s the truth? It’s why I think guys who believe they have to “gymmaxx” and look ripped are absurd). He earns a little bit more than I do, but I pay a bit more of our shared expenses. This is fine; he’s going to have to be the sole earner for a little when we have very small children…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 06:34 PM
2

Attractiveness is subjective, which is something we believe here because we don’t subscribe to TRP.
/r/ExRedPill19/09/23 04:28 PM
1

I have no idea how you have missed this if you speak 4/5 Romance languages but that term does not derive from an association with the term “romantic.” https://www.britannica.com/topic/Romance-languages
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 04:03 AM
1

Have you read much Medieval work (like Boccaccio, Petrarch, or Chaucer)? What kind of background are we working with.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 03:55 AM
3

I replied using a Wikipedia link to point out that the commonly accepted definition of “romantic love” applies to sexually romantic feelings and interactions, as opposed to love or appreciation for non-sexually romantic concepts. Would you like me to go over the development of romantic love as a concept dating from the courtly love tradition of the Medieval era, compare and contrast it to, for example, the Romantic period in art and music, or the fact that the term ROMANCE LANGUAGE has nothing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 03:43 AM
2

Romance or romantic love is a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person,[1] and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_(love)#:~:text=Romance%20or%20romantic%20love%20is,overall%20feelings%20and%20resultant%20emotions. If you prefer, I’m sorry you don’t believe in sexually romantic love.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:59 AM
10

Well that got weird. Lot of words to say you don’t believe in romantic love. That is — in my opinion — cynical. I’m sorry you feel you have to live that way, but if it works for you vaya con díos I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:41 AM
10

Damn what a cynical take.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:09 AM
2

Interesting that you think something so subjective — women’s differing desires — can be objectively wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:02 AM
3

I don’t necessarily agree that “women will have casual sex or short term flings with those exciting bad boys” considering: Most women don’t participate in casual sex (I realize that this point relies on self-reported statistics and that women generally under-report sex partners, but to deny it you have to assume that the wide majority of women are lying and I don’t think that’s a particularly credible claim) Some women will never want a “bad boy” type including for casual encounters
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:57 AM
4

I am lucky to have a good sex life and to be fulfilled sexually by my partner. If he didn’t fulfill me emotionally and someone else did, all the amazing sex wouldn’t be worth it in the slightest to continue to commit myself to him romantically.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:29 AM
4

I’m not. He’s 5’10”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:08 AM
7

Again, can’t speak for all women, but that’s not been my experience or what I have observed of the relationships in my social circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:06 AM
5

Wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:03 AM
10

This is a completely alien experience to mine and other women’s whose stories I’ve heard.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 11:59 PM
9

I don’t think most women actually want those “excitement/unpredictability/ups and downs” and DO want the “boring” best boyfriend characteristics in an LTR. Could be wrong, but that’s what I feel and hear from other women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 11:43 PM
–

Lmaooooo
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 10:01 PM
10

“I am happy as a single woman” and “Single women are happy” does not = “single women are the happiest demographic” Yet it is indeed possible to be happy as a single woman!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 09:00 PM
–

I actually have a younger brother of college age AMA
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 08:33 PM
–

I have a good guy friend. We’re both in relationships. To me, that just means more friends! So I try to arrange hang outs that all 4 of us can attend
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 08:32 PM
–

I am not from Croatia.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:46 PM
–

Being afraid is not “arousing” in my experience. Feeling safe, secure, and cared for OTOH? I eat that up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:43 PM
–

Gross
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:40 PM
38

I think it’s important to recognize that there was always inherent misogyny in “The Red Pill.” It relies on holding misogynistic beliefs about women as universal truths. Within internet echo chambers, there’s a tendency to amplify toxicity. So the original misogyny just gets worse.
/r/ExRedPill18/09/23 07:35 PM
3

I would not settle and I don’t believe that “something is better than nothing” when it comes to romantic relationships. I don’t believe I’ve settled and I am confident my partner would say the same. I would never want to be his “second choice.” I believe one pertinent factor is that partners who are in love, commit to each other, and choose to develop their relationship become even more “right” for each other as time passes. There’s no one more “right” for me than my boyfriend is because of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:19 PM
6

Yes; I’m in a very happy relationship with a man who expresses emotional vulnerability and whom I support.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:18 PM
–

I have a few physical preferences that aren’t deal breakers in terms of hair color, facial hair, and physique. It would be a bonus to have someone who matched the kind of weather I like (so that we’d be happy living in the kind of climate I prefer) and who matched my preference for lakes & mountains vs the beach. Liking the same music as me would be a bonus.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:10 PM
–

Congratulations! I hope you have a great time!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:00 PM
3

I have said myself and heard other women say it’s important for a man to make me feel safe. Very important distinction that I agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 05:08 PM
12

It’s been very eye opening to discover that so many men apparently do this!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 05:04 PM
4

This + the “X out of 10” rating system for anyone you happen to come across
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 05:00 PM
0

Less money would be fine as long as he can contribute at least 30% to shared bills — otherwise I don’t make enough to support us both
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:50 PM
2

I’ve just gone through a whole conversation with someone else showing that the data do not support the claim that most single women are having casual sex. Feel free to read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:35 PM
12

I want my partner to provide a safe place for me to be emotionally vulnerable and vice versa. I want to be able to count on him when the car breaks down or a flight is canceled or a kid is sick (and vice versa). I want to know that he is on my team. I want to feel SAFE with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 03:21 PM
4

This is how I feel too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 03:19 PM
6

Ok, so let’s say “most” instead of “every.” By what metric are you judging that most women who say that they are happily single are having casual sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 03:14 PM
8

Nowhere have I denied that it is “easier for women to get sex.” I’m questioning the assumption that every woman who is happily single is having casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 03:03 PM
-3

And how do you know this?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 02:48 PM
0

Interesting that this is your assumption. Is it formed from firsthand experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 02:41 PM
86

There are, in fact, women who are not on the apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 02:11 PM
1

I would never want anyone but him. What an odd conclusion to draw.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:42 PM
1

How do you want to justify that assumption that he is a “beta male provider”? What does that imply about our relationship? What does his role entail?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:29 PM
4

Um yes I believe so
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 09:58 PM
–

That’s a silver lining I suppose
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:43 PM
–

If you have not interacted with a specific woman or know her in any way, you do not have a better understanding of how she thinks or behaves than she does.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:34 PM
–

Oh sorry dude I assumed! That was my bad
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:25 PM
–

You know you’re right I’m subconsciously lying to you and would much rather go eat a salad! Thank you for pointing it out. Lol ik you’re joking
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:25 PM
–

Cool cool cool good to know
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:24 PM
–

I am 26 and I know at least a few other women are mid 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:22 PM
–

I would trade that for fries and a shake tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:17 PM
–

As I said, too hard for most of you
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:11 PM
–

Nah ik this is too hard for most of you
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:03 PM
–

Challenge for the men of PPD! Stop automatically assuming two things: That women are lying (subconsciously or consciously) That you understand women’s desires and beliefs better than individual women themselves!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:02 PM
3

Cool that you and you alone are the arbiter of what women on the internet who you do not know find appealing!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 06:37 PM
1

Nah it’s not just me. I’m pretty sure most women prefer men who are actually interesting to men who bore them
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 06:32 PM
0

Not all of them! Just some :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 06:31 PM
0

Nope but I’d vetted for what I needed to :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 05:28 PM
1

No, I have found “hot” men boring. Try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 05:21 PM
6

I’m not. I can understand that someone is stereotypically attractive without finding him personally appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 03:58 PM
2

In a couple cases, much less similar than other guys who I went on a first date with and did not sleep with.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 03:47 PM
1

I slept with several guys on date #1 so probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 03:41 PM
2

Meeting the looks threshold is how you then get anything else to matter. If you meet the looks threshold, other things begin to matter.
/r/AllPillDebate17/09/23 03:22 PM
18

“My bf is not Chad” is in reference to being told alternatively that he “must be a Chad” when I describe his prior dating experience and then being told he must be a “simp/soyboy/cuck” when I describe the ways in which he does not meet the “Chad” stereotype. I got tired of spelling it out, and the flair at least covers the first part.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 02:17 PM
2

Interesting. Is this conclusion based in personal experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:58 PM
10

Where did you interpret anger or embarrassment? I am expressing confusion at your misinterpretation of what I saw as a straightforward comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:56 PM
9

Cool story bro
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:53 PM
13

I have said that I have never come across a 5’4” Indian janitor because coming across a 5’4” man in my country AT ALL is a very rare occurrence. What did you fail to comprehend?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:53 PM
4

Unless I am just horny as hell, I need something besides “objectively physically attractive” to be turned on (including the attributes above). If I am horny as hell and just want sex, I don’t even need that. I have had casual sex with men who I think are objectively not attractive because they were available, nice/relatable enough after a cursory vetting, and didn’t seem like a threat to my safety. My boyfriend, who is the most attractive man in the world to me, would not be considered “objectiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:52 PM
18

Ah yes the answer must be that women do be lyin’ rather than experiencing humanity and attraction in a way that is different to you!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:44 PM
–

A boring “hot” man isn’t hot. A “hot” man who doesn’t share my values isn’t hot. A “hot” man with whom I have no shared interests/hobbies isn’t hot. A “hot” man who just doesn’t have chemistry with me isn’t hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:28 PM
-5

So you haven’t gotten immediate sex off tinder. Cool.
/r/AllPillDebate17/09/23 12:16 PM
-4

Are you Chad? Do you know this firsthand?
/r/AllPillDebate17/09/23 12:14 PM
20

I have never come across a 5’4” Indian janitor who could give me the spark. Have you tried asking women in India if 5’4” men are attractive to them? Even when I was on the apps I never came across someone who reported a height shorter than mine and I was NOT filtering. A height of 5’4” is 3rd percentile for men in my country. Choose a better hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 12:05 PM
1

…you think sex is icky?? Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 11:58 AM
12

Gimme dark hair and strong arms any day of the week 😜 (My bf does NOT have big arms but guess what he’s still the hottest man ever to me because the spark is there!)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 11:57 AM
7

People who are in happy relationships in love do not compare their partners to “immediate real life options”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 11:53 AM
25

If women self-report that we need to feel a “spark” and don’t universally attribute it to physical characteristics of attractiveness, why do you think you know better?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 11:51 AM
-8

I have never seen a man who I would fuck “just looking at them once” including celebrities. That’s not how the “looks threshold” works ime.
/r/AllPillDebate17/09/23 11:49 AM
4

The best sex I’ve had is in my relationship and casual sex I’ve had in the past doesn’t even compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 11:43 PM
1

For me, it’s my boyfriend being an equal partner to me in all ways — from household chores to paying bills to supporting my career as I support his. It is him being open emotionally (he’s working on it) without just using me as a therapist (he doesn’t). It’s being confident in himself when it’s warranted and asking for help when he needs to. It’s knowing how to have disagreements or arguments without resorting to anger or yelling etc. It’s being comfortable in his own skin, for who he is, becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 11:39 PM
1

I simp for my boyfriend 🥰
/r/AllPillDebate16/09/23 07:15 PM
–

It’s great that you’re un-learning limiting thought patterns!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 02:43 PM
–

I got TWO compliments from different women on a dress I wore ~a month ago and I’m still living off that high
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 02:40 PM
–

I live in a large urban area. I know lots of women in couples. I know no women in harems.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 09:51 AM
3

I’m mostly friends with people who are in couples and from what I’ve seen, the women all in it for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 02:24 AM
10

These are really, really extreme views. The most extreme scenarios are usually wrong.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 09:30 PM
–

My dad is 5’8” and my mom is shorter and yet my brother is not an incel
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 08:36 PM
-1

We are whores we are manipulative we are users we are selfish we are cold hearted we are liars
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 06:37 PM
4

Just find a partner who you actually like
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 06:33 PM
3

Interesting. Do you think women who have had casual sex are incapable of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 06:09 PM
1

Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 05:56 PM
5

Hey if you don’t want to “risk” marriage no one’s forcing you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:50 PM
3

I think marriage is a pretty solid investment for people who want to be married.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:31 PM
5

How do you judge “wife material”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:49 PM
2

I’ve seen a lot of sympathy from women in regards to male loneliness. Not only is it a social crisis, it’s also a health crisis. It should be taken seriously. I think, though, that women also often point out that we can’t be the answer to male loneliness — that the issues are much broader than a lack of romantic relationships. In regards to men without access to romantic relationships or sex, I don’t think the answer is anything as simple as “fix your hair and change your clothes.” That’s pretty…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:27 PM
2

What point do you think is being missed?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 02:43 PM
1

Funnily enough I was just discussing a tropical resort vacation with my bf
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:56 PM
2

I’m average (or even above because I’m not overweight and I’m fairly pretty). Not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:52 PM
1

Damn I didn’t know being a girlfriend was supposed to be “cushy, easy, and sweet” better go dump my boyfriend and find another guy!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:26 PM
1

Where do you think women are missing the point?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:15 PM
2

Ok I’m replying because I feel like this SHOULD be a hard truth to hear, but it’s one that has never bothered me. Of course there are people who are “slightly better versions” of me. The world is vast. That has always felt more like “a given” to me than anything I had to struggle to accept.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:52 PM
1

I think it’s less about what party one votes for than the ideology one might expect someone who votes a certain way to hold. I’m not the one making the red flags; I’m in a happy relationship.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 10:50 PM
9

I think men don’t want to accept that if they’re completely failing to achieve their goals with dating, then they are below average in terms of attraction. No one wants to be below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:48 PM
–

Yeah my boyfriend definitely doesn’t spend time thinking about me having sex with other guys, but he does appreciate that I know what I like in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:15 PM
–

You know that you don’t want to date a woman with a “high body count.” Self knowledge is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:12 PM
–

I’m glad you’re so very aware of your preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:02 PM
–

Ok!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:00 PM
–

Cool story.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 09:57 PM
2

Of course I’ve slept with men before my partner; I was 24 when we got together. It would be odd if I hadn’t. He wasn’t a virgin either.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 09:35 PM
0

Would never choose Chad over my boyfriend (and I’m pretty sure I’ve never slept with a Chad. Men I’m attracted to in any way definitely don’t look like you’re stereotypical “Chad”).
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 09:29 PM
–

Why does it matter to you if I’m not trying to date you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 09:26 PM
–

Well then I’m lucky to have had partners who are open with me regarding their beliefs and values.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 09:21 PM
–

Because when you’re in a relationship with someone these topics tend to come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 09:19 PM
–

Endometriosis is an absolute bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 09:14 PM
–

I agree. I’ve also been told “most” men would not want a partner with a “body count.” I’m guess I’m just lucky to have never had a man care about mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 09:04 PM
–

I’ve been told that men who date women with “a high body count” lack self respect. How very presumptuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 08:49 PM
–

Yes, very bad ovarian cyst. Just had to wait it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 08:41 PM
–

That is not what I’m talking about but feel free to keep going!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 08:22 PM
–

This is not at all what I’m talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 08:18 PM
–

That’s not the dating burnout I’m referring to but thanks for chiming in!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 07:38 PM
1

You’re a real one!
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 07:37 PM
4

Women are no longer valuing any romantic relationship above being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 07:31 PM
–

Yes, it’s quite mean
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:48 PM
–

Because if you give it in a way that could sound like a compliment, the insulter has plausible deniability to refute the fact that they said something mean
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:33 PM
–

The point of giving a backhanded compliment is to insult someone
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:30 PM
–

I would take that as a fake, backhanded compliment (something that is really an insult).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:21 PM
–

Oof.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:18 PM
2

I never realized it was so prevalent — though I imagine there is a self-selection bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:10 PM
0

Ah so you think women who have had casual sexual encounters are like prostitutes, and you don’t want them? Makes sense why you’re single then.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 05:48 PM
-1

Seems like most of you are jealous of anyone who can get a girl so I’m sure you can see where the misunderstanding stems from.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 05:31 PM
-5

Why does my “body count” matter to you if it doesn’t matter to my boyfriend (it doesn’t)? Why would you assume by boyfriend wants to be treated like “Chad” (he doesn’t, because he things “pill” ideology is disgusting)? Why would you assume that any previous romantic or sexual encounters I might have had affect how I feel towards or treat my partner (they do, but not the way probably you’d expect)?
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 05:25 PM
–

Nothing that you are talking about can be logically inferred from the OC but thanks for chiming in!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 05:12 PM
-2

Why does that matter?
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 05:06 PM
0

I understand what generalization is; I think it unhelpful and reductive. You are not the arbiter of “truth.”
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 04:23 PM
-2

1: If I’m not like that and my friends are not like that, it’s not a universal truth 2: I don’t actually care WHO hurt you, just think it’s unfortunate that it’s so completely distorted your understanding of interpersonal relationships to the point that you’re denigrating women online. It’s unhealthy. That’s pitiable.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 04:08 PM
-4

I’m sorry for whatever happened to give you such a warped view of “modern women,” then.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 04:00 PM
–

Also not logical. If you knew that the women in question view relationships as a net negative (you do not know that), the fact that they are HAPPY in relationships would thus suggest that those relationships are special to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 03:59 PM
-3

I’m sorry you have such a negative view of your own worth.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 03:57 PM
–

That also doesn’t logically follow from the OC in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 03:41 PM
3

My boyfriend is a very liberal feminist and that’s one of the most attractive things about him. Young women are generally far more liberal than young men and young women find far right-wing views a red flag.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 03:40 PM
-12

My boyfriend is not a “Chad” and I’m completely in love with him. My friends have boyfriends/husbands who look “average” — including some who I find unattractive. Women have relationships with non-“Chads” all the time.
/r/AllPillDebate14/09/23 03:39 PM
–

Your conclusion implies that because the women are happy their current partners are not special to them. This is not a logical conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 03:35 PM
–

What an odd conclusion to reach from that comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 03:16 PM
–

First, yes, dating burnout is real for women too and I’m glad someone else says it!! Second, the men I’ve dated (including my current bf who I plan to marry) also definitely had standards! I put a LOT into dating when I was dating around and I put a LOT into my relationship now!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 02:55 PM
8

He didn’t come up with the GSS data he just put it in charts. Where are YOUR numbers coming from? Feel free to cite your sources.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 12:43 PM
5

How are you judging that they are average and that they are failing?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 11:50 AM
8

Only 4% of men 25-30 are virgins. https://datepsychology.com/are-27-of-young-men-really-virgins-and-why/#:~:text=The%20youngest%20adults%20are%20more,of%20women%20will%20remain%20virgins. Only 23% of men 18-25 have not had sex in the last year and it drops to 9% for men ages 26-30. https://datepsychology.com/how-many-sexual-partners-did-men-and-women-have-in-2021/#:~:text=Just%209%25%20of%20men%20and,the%2026%2D30%20age%20group. Don’t make numbers up
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 11:41 AM
8

Average guys do fine. If you’re struggling and only failing you’re below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 11:28 AM
6

My boyfriend and I are both feminists so I’d definitely date a feminist, yes
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 08:45 PM
-3

Yes! Sometimes women just want to have fun!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 08:31 PM
7

I had a “hoe phase” (sort of. Briefly.). It made me much more aware of what I want and need in a partner and thus makes me a better partner to my boyfriend than I would have been otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 07:21 PM
9

This is how I feel too. I dated a guy for awhile who, now that the “infatuation goggles” are long removed, is straight up unattractive to me. But at the time I found him physically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 09:38 PM
–

But you also haven’t accurately described all possibilities of relationship, right? In terms of options 2-4 (because I think many women would agree that option 1 is NOT appealing), you’re making assumptions about how people have to behave in relationships. For example, you can be very career-driven and ambitious without having to “placate” your partner with “gifts or grand gestures.” Relatedly, you can be very committed to being a full partner in your relationship, spending time together, and pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 03:47 PM
–

“Value” and “comfort” are subjective in that what you are describing as “value” and “comfort” are not going to be universally considered as “value” or “comfort” by every person. You can’t create an “objective” scale off subjective traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 03:25 PM
–

You are trying to ascribe your views on “value” and “comfort” to create an objective scale of something where “value” and “comfort” vary widely by individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 03:18 PM
7

Is a loving, long-term relationship with a man where you are both happy, satisfied, etc intentionally not an option?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 02:29 PM
–

This is a ridiculous view of both men and women and what ideal/healthy relationship dynamics look like from person to person
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 12:11 PM
7

This intrigued me so I looked it up for you and he’s right. https://www.insider.com/intelligence-and-cheating-2017-10 Certainly tracks with my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 02:35 AM
1

Like I said, some people on PPD are in happy, normal relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:37 AM
1

I said nothing to that effect. I said that most men agree in mediation to custody arrangements that grant them less custodial time. When men ask for joint, primary, or sole custody, they are more likely than not to get it. That is what studies show.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:28 AM
1

He is 5’10”. He is super skinny (my arm muscles are bigger than his). He wears glasses. Our income is very similar, and even though I earn a bit less, I pay for a bit more of our shared living expenses. He’s the most attractive man in the world to me and I’m completely in love with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:27 AM
8

Do I really believe a woman said something to hurt you that led to you believing most women are entitled? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 06:00 PM
2

I have had sex with men who did not particularly excite me (because I wanted to have sex — I was horny with or without them; they did not “excite me” into it). I would not be in a relationship with a man who could not ever excite me. I don’t understand being attracted to someone AND having him be unable to “excite” you; though, fwiw, I think having attraction to your partner is more important than being constantly excited by them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:46 PM
1

weird how eager women are to separate children from their fathers I assume you are referring to custody in divorces. Most men agree in mediation to custody terms that grant them less custodial time. When they ask for custody they get it. dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:32 PM
3

Fulfilling relationship > single > settling / unfulfilling relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:04 PM
5

Your bad experience with a woman does not mean most women feel entitled, sorry to disappoint you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:03 PM
1

Yeah I always split or traded off payment — and split with my boyfriend now. In fact, I probably end up paying a bit more for him than he does for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:00 PM
1

“Interested in” does not solely mean “physically attracted to” and you surely know that
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:46 PM
0

Absolutely nowhere is it specified that we are specifically talking about physical attraction. Please quote what you’re looking at.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:35 PM
2

It’s “settling” to date someone who does not make you happy, to whom you are not attracted, for whom you feel no care/consideration/love, who cannot meet your needs, who does not match your dealbreakers, etc. It has nothing to do with whether the people in question are “average” or not. Men frequently say on here that they would never want to be “settled” for. Women should thus refuse to date men for whom they would be “settling.”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:26 PM
10

Women also now no longer need a provider to have sufficient resources to keep herself and offspring alive. We are allowed to have jobs. (Of course, most women will probably want to raise a child with a willing and involved partner who is the other parent because raising children is not easy.)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:16 PM
11

Another “women entitled” take so fuckin boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:13 PM
2

Weirdest thing to me too. Having someone see me as “worthy of sex but not a relationship” made me feel absolutely horrible about myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:10 PM
7

Do you know a lot of them so well for them to be sharing their “deep down” feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 01:06 PM
2

Have you ever really liked a woman you dated?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 12:58 PM
9

Got to “supporter” and was pleasantly surprised to think he even acknowledged that women who support their partners exist (even if it is a little reductive — like, I can support my partner’s goals without giving up my own) And then came the “host of emotional issues” Because this is PPD
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 02:27 AM
2

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 01:41 AM
3

Do you understand the concept of satire
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 08:59 PM
1

Yeah I’m from the northeast in a major city.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:50 PM
1

I am in the US, but probably not the same part as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:46 PM
2

Must be cultural. Definitely not common in my circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:37 PM
1

I appreciate you bringing this up. Too many people on here overlook both these points.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:36 PM
3

Because I had this qualm with a post the other day: If you think “most men initiate marriages because they propose,” you’d seem to be overlooking the fact that most couples discuss engagement before a proposal is made. Just proposing out of the blue is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:00 PM
1

Ah yes because all women are hypergamous /s
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 05:56 PM
2

I’ve been told my bf is a beta several times on here when I say I love him
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 05:41 PM
1

Seriously I have always wanted cows and apple trees!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:56 PM
1

How do I get this life
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:45 PM
14

People very largely marry within their socioeconomic class. “Rich” men marrying “poor” women are outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:44 PM
3

No. That’s not what I’m saying. You have missed the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 03:41 PM
3

I think you missed my point. He was an asshole. But my immaturity meant that I thought it was normal. He had more experience and told me that it was, so I believed him. I blame it far more on my age than on his.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 03:25 PM
-1

What a wrong take
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 11:14 AM
1

I’m not on social media but if I were my profile pic would be my partner. My partner is on social media and he has never posted me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 11:10 AM
2

You say this and yet in the N-count megathread you said you had a lot of experience. Why would you think you you'd die alone when you were dating around a lot or having casual sex a lot? Different times of my life. I was deeply, deeply, suicidally depressed for several long periods during my late teens and early twenties. Feeling absolutely worthless will make you feel like you’re going to die alone — even if you survive the depression. After the breakup of my LTR at 21 I was particularly convin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 10:49 AM
2

Fwiw Twilight is YA paranormal fiction. The books I’m referring to are neither paranormal nor YA. It is also nearly 20 years old (published 2005). Vampire novels had a heyday in the subsequent 10 years as did fantasy YA. They are not what is popular now. I’m talking about books published in the last ~5 years which are not YA or paranormal/fantasy in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 01:04 AM
1

This is like my bf. Absolutely this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:44 AM
1

No Twilight is a different genre.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:39 AM
3

Lots of us are in very happy relationships with very normal people and these takes literally suggest that that’s impossible and it’s the weirdest thing
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:38 AM
1

I guess I’d go for the dad bod? Because the muscle on every other one of these guys is too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:30 AM
0

I’m a 10 to my boyfriend so I’m a 10
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:26 AM
3

Wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:22 AM
2

It is not that uncommon in my experience. How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:39 PM
1

Look I’m just not interested in continuing this conversation with you for many, many, many reasons but I wanted you to be aware that I had it with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:21 PM
3

Precisely this!!! I’m regularly astonished by how I could have thought I truly loved my partner, say, six months ago, when my feelings are so much deeper now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:14 PM
2

Your response only says that a person you choose to grow with can become “special” to you. I disagree. I think that when you’ve found that right person they become irreplaceable — that they do become The One who is more right for you than anyone else. I don’t think people to whom this has happened are dissatisfied in the ways you lay out.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:11 PM
9

I don’t believe there’s a “one single person out there who you are meant for.” I DO believe you can create “The One” when you grow together with a partner. I am more compatible with my boyfriend now than I am with any other possible person who matched me well because he knows me so well, I know him so well, and we are so committed to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:57 PM
1

https://reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/SF27q5QdfP
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:52 PM
1

I agree with all this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:46 PM
1

TIL about the Duluth model! Yes, as I already stated, the idea that only women can be victims is wrong! To cover all my bases, the idea that only men can be perpetrators is also wrong! I think it is very, very telling that as a person who is deeply enmeshed in feminist politics -- it is my literal job -- it would never have occurred to me to suggest that men cannot be DV survivors. That is a bias that simply does not exist in my circles or in the feminist reading and study that I have done. It i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:37 PM
10

Yes and this is one of the reasons I am wary of large age gaps in relationships — even as you age, so do they. There will always be a gap that does not decrease with time
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:17 PM
1

I am nice to everyone (with the caveat that they’re not a demonstrably bad person) until they give me reason not to be. I believe in treating people with basic courtesy and decency.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:08 PM
4

I honestly needed this today — PPD has worn me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:38 PM
2

I actually don’t particularly care that most men understand feminists are capable of empathy. I DO take issue with men claiming it’s true of all women or telling women that “actually you’re not empathetic” when we say we are. (That is what this post is referencing.) I think that dismissing another person’s experience of their own life or claims about their own beliefs is fairly dehumanizing. It suggests you (not you specifically) know better than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:18 PM
9

I'm a 26-year-old woman in a very happy relationship. I'm not jealous. I still feel a twinge of concern when I see women in their teens or very early twenties in relationships with men much older than they are. Here's why: During a period of a year and a half when I was 19-21, I was in a relationship with a man seven years older than me. I thought he liked me because I was "mature" — more "grown up" than guys my age. That's what I'd always been told. That's what he told me, too. My mom warned me…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:15 PM
2

Nah that’s not what gets you on NLTOG I promise
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:02 PM
0

I’d definitely trust your take on your wife and sister’s opinions more than I’d trust MY take on their opinions. They are specific people who you know and I do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:58 PM
1

https://reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/QZUt2KKNrb
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:58 PM
1

Yep, feminists definitely need to be able to listen to men’s opinions and insights and acknowledge the validity of issues facing men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:49 PM
2

Disagree. Most women are not narcissistic anti-social people, just as most men aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:35 PM
2

See, the idea that you're more likely to be one is already inaccurate We can say with a great deal of certainty that women are more likely to be killed by their former/current intimate partners than men are. There is very definitive evidence for that. Let's call all other things equal and say that men are just as statistically likely to be emotionally, physically, and sexually abused by former/current intimate partners as women. (The evidence also does not support this claim, but obviously, DV i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:34 PM
1

Obviously, because women can never care about men in any way. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:09 PM
2

Have the wedding you want and enjoy it!!! I would hate a huge wedding lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:08 PM
18

My 21-23 y/o self is absolutely not someone I’d consider “mature” from the vantage point of 26.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:01 PM
1

The fact that you responded to a statement of empathy with questions implies that such a statement can only be accepted or acceptable if it addresses every possible issue an in-group validator can come up with. I would absolutely never respond to a statement from empathy towards an issue faced by women with the requirement that he also address every other possible issue. I’m confident you do not (maybe even could not) empathize with every issue faced by women. Why do you feel the need to accept …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:59 PM
1

I hope you can see the hypocrisy in that I’m able to validate your experience and you can’t validate mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:49 PM
1

Fwiw I think you’re hilarious
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:42 PM
2

I have lots of loving and empathetic men in my life! Luck of the draw I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:38 PM
1

I am sure that it’s frustrating and invalidating. Can you imagine that you’re a woman, who is in a loving, equitable, and compassionate relationship, hear that women are incapable of loving men over and over from men online, or even tell you directly that you don’t love your boyfriend (which has happened about 10x to me on PPD)? Because that’s why I wrote that comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:37 PM
4

Things I empathize with relating to men since people think feminists can’t be empathetic towards men’s issues! The male average lifespan was decreasing in my country even before COVID. I empathize with the fear and frustration an underfunded, overlooked health crisis must cause in the afflicted population. I empathize because the maternal mortality rate is also rising in my country and I’m a person who could give birth. [EDITED because I meant “the male lifespan is decreasing” rather than what I…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:30 PM
1

There are people who don’t experience loving relationships or empathy from women. I’m perfectly capable of agreeing with that statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:22 PM
1

Ok so
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:17 PM
1

You getting treated like “dogshit” (which sucks! I’m sorry for you!) does not mean women are incapable of love or empathy or caring or consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:16 PM
1

I have not experienced being taken less seriously at work than another person due to my gender. I do not question whether or not it’s true that that happens, because it would be unreasonable to do so in the face of directly conflicting evidence from the people to whom it happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:15 PM
3

Yup some people suck and are narcissists
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:34 PM
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