TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Ka_Tetof99 Archive

View 2 posts and 183 comments by Ka_Tetof99 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
142

MINDSET SHIFTKa_Tetof99/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:37 AM
43

STRATEGYKa_Tetof99/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:36 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
22

I think the best part of this sub is that it’s both supportive and realistic. I think support subs on Reddit tend to fall into either meaningless platitudes (“I’m sorry girl! You deserve better!”) or crabs-in-a-bucket mentality (“all our husbands suck, let’s commiserate over our shared misery!”). This sub will actually push you to do something about an issue you’re upset about. There’s a time and a place for just quickly venting, for sure, and I don’t mean to disparage other subs necessarily, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:04 AM
14

I read this post and immediately thought “if Garrus was real, I would!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:28 AM
54

Do y’all remember that one AITA post where the woman’s husband found her emergency fund and threw a fit about it? And the comments turned into a shitshow of people defending her (reasonable) actions vs saying he was right to be upset? This shit is why we have a bug-out fund and a bag mentally or physically packed to go. At all times. It makes me frothing-at-the-mouth angry that men don’t realize that these things are in the back of our minds quite literally every single day. Even when in happy r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:02 AM
79

Surprisingly they’re ripping him to shreds in the comments, which is good. Had to get the popcorn out for it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 03:46 AM
59

Exactly this! This is a one way ticket to abortion and divorce. I can’t imagine this guy will be a better parent after this debacle and I couldn’t imagine being able to forgive him for something like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 03:46 AM
36

Once you notice that the relationship subreddits overwhelmingly coddle and favor men, you can’t stop noticing it. They’ll come up with every excuse under the sun to dodge putting the responsibility on him. Maybe he’s depressed! Maybe he doesn’t know! Did you explicitly tell him literally everything you’re okay or not okay with? Sometimes a spade is just a spade. Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:29 PM
45

Reddit has an obsession with making up every possible excuse under the sun as to why the Trash Man of the Week can’t possibly be everything he appears. It’s always his girlfriend’s job to throw herself at the brick wall that is his emotional intelligence until she drags him kicking and screaming into being a better person. It’s fucking ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:45 AM
4

How is it even possible to sustain a crush for sixteen YEARS? I feel like if I have a crush that’s unreciprocated in two months, MAXIMUM, I’m over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 10:13 PM
43

It’s easy to be “easy going and laid back” when none of the social issues we face affect them, huh? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:19 PM
9

“If you fuck with me/for real”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:06 PM
48

Have you ever noticed the lack of creativity in that threat? Or that, 100 years ago, suffragettes heard the same shit? They always come back to that as an insult. “You’ll be alone forever! Nobody will want you! You’ll never get married!” I mean..... really, that’s the worst they can come up with? Come on, guys! Give me a decent scare! A Magnus Archives-level story of a terrible fate awaiting me! I want to be entertained dammit! All jokes aside, it really illustrates how they view women: as auxil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:09 PM
13

For the realest, truest expression of this, watch Juan Pablo’s season. It’s absolutely the funniest thing to ever come out of the show. Every single woman either leaves or outright rejects him entirely. Even his final choice woman straight up tells him no. It’s delicious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:50 PM
30

Also? Guys like this put women on pedestals because it’s a part of their “worship, devalue, discard” method. It’s entirely possible New Girl is currently in the pedestal phase where she can do no wrong until she inevitably sets him off for something dumb and he moves on to phase 2.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 09:03 PM
433

“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom the admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom the imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and lov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:04 AM
20

Every one of the Try Guys are awesome! Their relationships are all so lovely and it’s so refreshing to see men on YouTube not being screaming controversial morons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:18 PM
10

Oh man, this is what I hate about that sub. I understand wanting to foster an environment of support and validation, but sometimes people need to be kicked in the ass with some tough love and they don’t allow that there. There’s only so many times you can say “stay strong sis!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:31 AM
146

Once I realized that things like fashion and beauty standards cycle in and out of fashion constantly, I no longer felt the pressure to fit in and be the “ideal type.” Ten years ago, the stick figure body with giant implants was the style. Twenty years ago it was “heroin chic.” Now it’s a different body type again. It’s all total nonsense. You will never be someone’s type, but you will also always be someone’s type. There will always be people never attracted to you and people who immediately wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:32 PM
4

The podcast Dissect on Spotify does a really great job of breaking down the album and its visual counterpart if you’re interested! It goes into those themes pretty well. I agree. I think a lot of it is familial pressure mixed with a cultural and religious pressure, especially as a black woman, to be a wife and mother, and to keep the family unit together. I also think there’s a ton of sexist pressure of feeling like a failed mother (due to her miscarriages) and a failed wife (being cheated on, p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:25 PM
12

Not that she’s ever spoken much about it publicly before, but I have a theory. Lemonade is about not only their relationship, but what she honestly believes is a generational curse on her family and the entire concept of black love through multiple generations. Her parents’ relationship is crap, her grandparents’ relationships weren’t great, and on and on back through the years. From what we get through Lemonade and its visual counterpart, she believes staying together through hardships equates …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 06:59 PM
41

Thank you for this comment and for breaking this down so thoroughly! OP, FDS isn’t about having this type of dude. If you followed the strategies, he would have been dropped way, WAY earlier than this. Take this as a learning experience and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 05:17 PM
41

I’ve been super impressed that the content has managed to stay quality and the messaging on point throughout the rapid growth so far. I do definitely worry about quality decline in advice/posts with more new people, though. Not everyone reads the handbook before commenting and I’ve seen a couple suspect pieces of advice from newer voices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:39 PM
4

The dating part of it is also why we vet aggressively, though. If I’m using FDS techniques, I’m going to be finding a good man regardless. Sure, it may take longer, I don’t disagree. You’ll run into the opportunistic types a lot more. Oddly enough, before I was in my current relationship I found dressing a little more risqué helped take the trash out quicker in a few scenarios. The thirsty ones could hide their intentions for a date or two or even longer on occasion when they saw the business ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:35 PM
17

Also? I feel like this idea borders on respectability politics: it’s the idea that things we do or things we control will make LVM respect us. We all know that’s not true at all. There are men who will absolutely never respect women no matter how “respectable” we seem. If it wasn’t the clothes on those dates, those dudes would have also shown their asses some other way. The fuckboy I had a FWB with in college - a time when I wore almost exclusively the “exhausted student” outfit of sweats and ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:18 PM
31

I don’t know about this one. Every time I’ve been catcalled or sexually harassed, I was wearing jeans and either a plain shirt or a hoodie. The time I was cornered in an alley outside my job, I was wearing a winter coat, a heavy men’s sweater and jeans. Men are gonna fuck with us regardless. I absolutely refuse to change my life or refuse myself the joys of wearing what I want and looking how I want to look because I’m afraid. I don’t even dress that provocatively, everything I wear has a pretty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:11 PM
3

“Serial Killers: The Method and Madness of Monsters” is good to start with!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:05 PM
18

Financial literacy, especially how it relates to financial abuse. My health class taught me about physical and emotional abuse but financial gets skipped over, and it’s so common. Teaching kids how to pay bills, how to balance a checkbook, how to understand a credit score/investing/401k. How to find resources if money is an issue, especially if money prevents them from leaving abuse. How to freeze and unfreeze credit, the importance of having an emergency account, the importance of having your o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:20 PM
74

Toy Box is absolutely one of the worst I’ve heard. Much more scary to me than any other I’ve read about. I really do think the handbook should include some books on the psychology of serial killers too. Knowing how to tell when things are off and who not to trust. Serial murder is rare but learning about the red flags has helped me in other situations too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:19 AM
36

This is the one. I wish I could drill this into the collective female consciousness. Closure is a myth. Relationships aren’t jobs, you don’t get an exit interview. I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship post-Mortem convo that was productive and respectful. It just ends up being an argument where you feel shittier and sadder by the end, or they try to reel you back in and you feel confused and turned around. The time for talking has passed. We had a whole-ass relationship in which you could h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:18 PM
3

It’s gorgeous! Alexis Russell?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:10 AM
13

CHUMP LADY. Her website - and her book, “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life” - is a lifesaver. She’s all about calling out reconciliation as bullshit and cheaters as the POS they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 11:13 PM
20

This is absolutely code for “I make porn in my Air BNB.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:52 PM
7

It’s strange how we can have such different experiences. I’ve never met an anti-choice (let’s be real, call it for what it is) man who hasn’t spouted off something about “MY SEED” or something about the woman’s body being of lesser importance than his future progeny. Overall, though, I don’t think this comes down to a stance on abortion. This isn’t about how men feel about abortion, it’s about the respect they have for women and their bodily autonomy, as well as how willing they are to step up t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:47 AM
452

What in the country-fried fuck is a “talking stage”?? Why do they have to come up with bullshit terms to mean “fucking around with no commitment or continued interest until I can get something out of it”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:39 AM
16

There’s a very weird martyrdom complex going on over there. I can’t imagine openly admitting to staying in a shit relationship for a decade or more. They all love to make excuses for why they can’t leave, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:19 PM
52

Cleanse your palate by listening to Bills, Bills, Bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:59 PM
40

I always hate that argument they try to pull. “Telling a man there are consequences to having sex is just as bad as telling that to women!!!! There should be no consequences!!! Wahhh!!!” We, as women, are using the resources available to us in the case of pregnancy. Abortion, as of right now, is a resource. I can tell you right now that if (or when, considering the current political climate) abortion becomes illegal in the US, it would DRASTICALLY change nearly every aspect of my sex life as wel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 09:57 PM
20

•No, I don’t want kids. • When I was younger, I babysat for a lot of the neighborhood kids, including a family that had three young kids. I would be so exhausted after eight hours a week of those three alone. I realized I had very little patience for anything/anyone that relied on me that much, that constantly. •24 •Not at all. I love kids, and I’ve always wanted to be an aunt/godmother, but the idea of 24/7 parenting seems like an exhausting, thankless slog even when you do enjoy it. •I think h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 09:47 PM
8

That user is pretty well-known for posting poems on whatever the thread subject happens to be. He’s not an asshole!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 10:48 PM
7

One of my bras, by itself, costs $120. I buy that shit for myself, as if any dude deserves that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:33 AM
12

Messy, on-mobile link: The Myth of the Male Bumbler https://www.google.com/amp/s/theweek.com/articles-amp/737056/myth-male-bumbler They know, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:40 AM
29

Traveling with him and watching him react to things going wrong. How does he react to a traffic jam, missing a flight, losing luggage, a messed-up hotel reservation? What’s he like after a long day walking around in the sun? After not eating for a while? With a language barrier? It’s okay to be frustrated, obviously, but how does he communicate that frustration with you or just take it out on you and others? Even if it’s a minor trip - like a few hours’ drive away, you don’t have to commit to a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 04:22 AM
49

Messy link bc I’m on mobile but there’s actually a study to the contrary! https://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/internet/2018/07/she-should-get-used-it-how-reddit-s-rrelationships-forum-sides-men-0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:41 AM
15

This is the ultimate lesson I wish I could drill into other women’s heads. Closure is a myth, at least in the ways that they think of it. The person who hurt you will most likely never have an answer for you as to why they did it in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 06:53 PM
165

I’ve had the opposite reaction. Turns out, when you’re having sex with an inconsiderate fuckboy, it’s no fun and you hate it! And when you’re actually listened to, respected, loved and treated well in the bedroom, my libido suddenly returned with a fervor. Who would have guessed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:32 PM
13

I don’t disagree with you - under normal circumstances I’d say both are within their rights to keep dating. However, OP already sounds more attached than he does a few months in, which isn’t a good position to be in. You shouldn’t be hanging all your hopes and dreams on someone who isn’t committed and is still dating around; the idea is that you both should be keeping your options open, but she sounds like she’s already “chosen” him and he hasn’t reciprocated that energy. I should amend my post …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 05:54 AM
61

Oh honey, no. Absolutely don't give him a second more of your time. I've been dating this guy a few months, he treats me well hes super sweet and makes good money. He buys me nice things, super doting, very smart, etc. A couple months is nowhere near long enough to make a good value judgement on his character. People can hide their bullshit for a surprisingly long time, as you've found out. And anyway, all of this is absolutely basic-tier treatment from a partner. He should be treating you well,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:54 AM
50

I’ve seen this happen too many times. Dude crawls back spouting off “I feel so guilty 🥺🥺 I’m so sad 🥺🥺 I don’t deserve you!” which then puts you in the position of comforting his feelings after he hurt you. They flip the script back to them and their emotions, so you either feel guilty for holding them accountable or you cave and coddle their feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:10 AM
42

Block, delete and mute on all socials. Seeing him is not what you need right now. Every time you get the urge to text him, write down a time when he said something awful to you, or made you feel negative. Write down all his bad qualities. Write down self affirmations along with those qualities, I.e., “I always made sure to ask him questions about his day and check in and he never did the same for me; I am someone who deserves relationships where others show me the love I show to them.” If hangin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:57 AM
120

A couple possible reasons. 1) They don’t care about your feelings, they care about their access to you. As soon as you’re not available for kibbles (read: flattery, attention, any ego stroking whatsoever), you become a challenge to get past and “conquer” because they want unlimited access to your feelings and knowing you still care/will respond. 2) They believe they can do better than you/the grass is greener elsewhere, so when they find they’re not being constantly bombarded with attention from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:44 AM
17

Why Does He Do That? is the book title.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:10 AM
22

Rule of thumb: If you have to ask, it probably is. Men who talk about women’s bodies like that are absolutely a “dump the first time and don’t look back” scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:35 AM
22

There’s a certain type of person who believes, no matter what you’re doing, that you’re doing it at them; they project all their own insecurities onto you and come up with the idea that you’re judging them somehow, when it’s just them projecting, comparing and finding themselves lacking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 06:24 PM
26

That’s the bit that always gets me. They can’t even do the “friend” part of FWB correctly! A friend will actually put forth some kind of emotional effort and they never do that much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 08:49 PM
17

“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom the admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom the imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and lov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:39 PM
50

I would never go to a boudoir photog that wasn’t a woman. It just reeks of manipulation and the possibility of being taken advantage of otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:16 AM
31

Thank you for linking! I think this should go in the handbook for required reading, honestly. Even if it doesn’t apply to a parental relationship, it’s still a tool to understand the narcissist’s thought patterns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:40 PM
13

I’m on mobile so I can’t link, but it’s the first result if you google “the missing missing reasons.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:37 PM
126

There’s a really excellent blog about this - The Missing Missing Reasons. It’s primarily about estranged narcissist parents, but I’ve found it applies to all narcs. It’s an analysis of how they speak; when retelling some story in which they were the wronged party, it’s always suspiciously vague in regards to the other person’s words and behavior. Really opened my eyes to the narc playbook and how they’re all the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:22 PM
111

You don’t have to be an ice queen - you just have to redirect your nurturing energy elsewhere. I’m also someone who loves being nurturing to all my friends and family - I love making a big deal out of the people I love. It’s hard to stop doing it for everyone, but you don’t have to stop entirely; you just have to learn to guard that energy carefully and be selective about who deserves that love and attention. I used to just pour it out for anyone, even acquaintances: buying little gifts, lunch o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:39 AM
10

The only guarantee is having a fuck-off fund big enough to enable you to leave. It’s the last line of defense. Even if he switches up after 15 years, if you have the money to GTFO, you can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:41 PM
12

This is probably the biggest reason I’m glad I never want kids. So many husbands pull this bait-and-switch where they just stop being functioning adults as soon as you’re pregnant and leave all the childcare to you. I know too many women who had the “ideal” husband for years who changed completely after pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:05 PM
78

Ladies’ nights at bars are a way for bars to draw in more men. They know if a large portion of women are showing up to drink for free, men are also showing up to meet women and presumably buy drinks. Women become the advertisement for the bar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:14 AM
35

Ah yes, the Henry VIII complex. So original and not at all dusty and uninspired. People believe in the gender stereotypes so strongly that they give their unborn kid a whole-ass life track and personality before it’s even born, which is exhausting. And the comments! “Oh, girls are a handful! They’ll be so hard to raise!!” I mean, every kid is hard to raise at some point. They’re kids. They’ll be brats, and whiny toddlers, and shitty teenagers, regardless of gender. I think this narrative of girl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 09:21 PM
50

There’s a very strange martyrdom in infidelity forums. After I got cheated on (and before I found Chump Lady, who was a life saver), I did the typical “desperate search for answers in a bid to convince myself it was all okay and salvageable” and stumbled on a ton of “surviving infidelity”-type forums. It’s such a weird mindfuck of a phenomenon. People repeatedly saying “leaving is easier than staying!!! I CHOOSE to forgive!!” Like they’re playing in the Suffering Olympics and their staying makes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:24 PM
226

“Somebody wanting to fuck you is not a compliment” is the biggest takeaway from my first relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 06:08 AM
44

She’s okay with him not paying rent because she got a necklace? Did he break into the Smithsonian and steal the fucking Hope Diamond????? Because I can’t imagine any other necklace being worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 06:03 AM
13

You’re on the exact right track, sis. When you care more about being in a relationship than your own worth, these things devastate you because you come from a scarcity mindset. You’re shedding the old ways you used to think and that’s progress!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 09:34 AM
2

That’s why I stopped reading that sub! r/truechildfree is much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 09:56 AM
4

I agree with this. I think a lot of newbies come here and think they have to fall in line, and you don’t. You can absolutely choose what works for you and how to approach life and dating and which aspects you agree and don’t agree with. I know there are things I’ve seen on this sub that make me cringe a little, or that I don’t agree with, but I make a mental note to write a post creating the content I want to see!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:54 PM
95

In this world, it is so, so much harder and more noble to be kind to others. Anyone who rejects that philosophy and takes delight in hurting other people deserves none of my time. It screams “I’m a teenage edgelord and am doing this to impress others” to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 09:59 PM
30

I think some comments here are taking the “rage” part too literally. Rage doesn’t have to mean you fly off the handle and start screaming. Rage can also make you go silent and cold and furious. Whenever I’ve encountered LVM behavior, my rage makes me shut down, block delete and ignore. Training yourself to have an internal “that’s not okay that he said that, and I’m allowed to be upset” reaction is important!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 09:55 PM
29

If he’s a mama’s boy, run. If he’s enmeshed with his narc relatives, run. If he can’t stand up to his family, run. Read through r/justnomil. Read through r/raisedbynarcissists. That level of familial fuckup takes a very, very long time to even recognize, let alone work on and separate from. If he hasn’t even started that process by himself, you’re in for a world of immense difficulty and pain. Those two subs essentially have the same story over and over again, because it’s such a difficult thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 09:23 AM
7

This was an excellent kick in the ass. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:11 AM
40

If you haven’t yet, look up lovebombing; there are plenty of men who bombard their new girlfriend with promises and gifts and endless showers of affection as a way to lure her in, only to flip the switch later on. The fact that he’s so enthusiastic at the beginning could mean he’s sincere, sure. It could also very much be new relationship energy, or lovebombing, or a number of other things. And saying “divorce is not an option” comes off as a thing to say to lock you down, so to speak. He may be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:51 PM
11

I’m starting to believe that men don’t actually want children. They want the ego boost of having “their seed” ( 🤢 ) out in the world but want absolutely none of the work or consequences that come with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:14 PM
95

The emphasis on divorce not being an option combined with how quickly he’s moving gives me a very hard pause. Continue to vet him. Be on your guard still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:06 PM
64

Imagine if they took all that anger at women for protecting themselves and directed it at their fellow men who make women feel this way. Imagine if they spent less effort complaining that women are wary and concerned about men when we have every right to be and instead spent that effort on calling out the men in their own lives who make women feel uncomfortable. This shit makes me rage. What tone-deaf lack of empathy. “Yeah women have to worry about being murdered, kidnapped and raped but what a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:04 PM
18

This is the thing I wish I could hammer through their heads more than anything. Just because some can handwave and make excuses for his behavior and put up with the abuse and awful treatment doesn’t mean extremely vulnerable kids can also do the same thing. Not only will you have to coparent with a shithead for life, your kids will have to deal with having a garbage dad for life too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:45 PM
25

This! I’ve noticed that men take interests and hobbies and do them to the detriment of everything else in their lives. I play video games, watch football and smoke weed (albeit extremely rarely) but I’m not throwing my shit at my TV or spending rent money on drugs or wasting weeks of my time lost in a fantasy world. The way they enjoy things is getting more and more repulsive to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 08:50 AM
64

Male attention, sexual desire and validation are never compliments. These motherfuckers will be out here sticking their dicks in rotting coconuts repeatedly - if anyone remembers that infamous reddit post. 🤢 They’ll swipe on each and every woman and move on to the next if they don’t get what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 12:34 AM
15

You’re still 11 days out from a breakup, judging from your post history. It’s okay to grieve even if he was a shitty awful person. It will pass. All the negative emotions are like your body working up a fever to get over an illness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:23 AM
8

If you still have any female friends or know any female supervisors at your old company, I would give them a heads-up that he’s not a dude they should be alone with or even consider as a dating prospect, but beyond that, I’d be cautious. Being a LVM in a corporate boss’s eyes may not matter and you may come off worse than him depending on how he could spin the story. He also pulled a ton of red flag moves - negging, stealthing (which is sexual assault!), and trying to bond with you overly quickl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:17 AM
27

I’m increasingly exhausted at the popularity of memes like this that essentially boil down to “I engage in shitty behaviors that make me feel like shit and hurt me because ~i’M tRaSh LOL~.” So glad I don’t think this shit is funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:59 AM
6

I get it. It’s hard to break yourself of the habit of imagining entire futures, and of course we want to throw ourselves headfirst into relationships - but being mindful and staying in the moment helps. Always ask if he’s currently the best for you. Not dwelling on what he may do for you in the future or what he’s already done for you in the past; what, right now, is he doing? It helped me to break those habits by constantly asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:57 AM
52

That’s what drew me to FDS in the first place - the idea that we should stop putting in so much energy and just reciprocate the energy we get. No effort or low effort gets the same response back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:53 AM
18

Treat it like an extended job interview. A lot of jobs have a probationary period, use the same method. You wouldn’t hand the keys of the company over to the new intern who’s only shown promise for a month, right? So treat those qualities that you initially see as nothing more than a decent resume; what you really need to see is them putting in the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:39 AM
139

They want low-maintenance in terms of what you expect from them, and high-maintenance in how you look, take care of yourself, take care of the house, take care of kids, in your sex life.... but god forbid they have to see any of the work that goes into it. The key to their idea of low-maintenance is to be high-maintenance and not bother them with it. Fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:07 AM
-1

I’m glad I have your permission that it’s fine to be gay. I was really hoping you’d acquiesce!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:55 PM
-1

Yeah, the “used to be religious/‘immoral garbage’” thing gave me a HARD pause on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:27 PM
22

Women like this are not your friends. They’re certainly not allies. It’s the most pick me shit there is: they’re the type to mock and disbelieve until they’re affected. Maybe if she’d paid attention to the “sjw bullshit” before having a kid with a LVM, she wouldn’t be in this situation. Tough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:08 PM
25

Whew, this post made me angry. She openly calls all of this “sjw bullshit” before she believed in it. What a stunning lack of empathy for other women’s experiences. And now she wants her sisterhood girl power community? TUH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:01 PM
13

Every time you tell them what they did wrong, assume they’re going to take that knowledge and use it to trick the next woman. These guys don’t take these comments to heart - either they use them as further manipulation tactics or they have something to show their friends and laugh at you for. No paragraphs!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:28 PM
13

I agree with you on the kink stuff - but being taught that sexuality was a spectrum in health class saved me a lot of heartache and fear when I realized I wasn’t straight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:22 PM
336

I wish everyone who believed in this statement would look up the history of no-fault divorce and how incredibly difficult it was for women to get a divorce before the 70s. Being in a long-lasting marriage is often a byproduct of not being able to leave your shitty spouse. It’s not a “win.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:08 AM
38

The part about it affecting other relationships in your life is so true and incredibly painful. You learn very quickly how much people prioritize, consciously or not, their own comfort and stability and normalcy, and how far they’ll go to sweep things under the rug and smooth them over to avoid having their status quo even slightly disrupted. Even if you’re rocking the boat in a positive way, it will be interpreted as stirring up trouble for no reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:21 AM
7

Imagine how much good she could do if she put this much effort into helping his victim recover. People really are determined to not understand sociopathy and psychopathy aren’t they? You cannot teach empathy to people who are psychologically incapable of feeling it, and the hopes that the right book will shake loose something in his brain is absolutely fucking atrocious. Someone who has the capability to rape someone so violently that he’s imprisoned for five to ten years is not someone who’s go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:08 PM
15

I dunno. As a bi woman something about this post rubs me the wrong way; it comes off as “I’m not flamboyant and prissy and feminine like those OTHER queers, I’m normal and better because MYYYYYY sexuality is NORMAL!!” And judging by the comments he’s getting on that post, other people are seeing it too (and validating him bc of course they are, there’s OOOOBVIOUSLY a “good” and “bad” kind of gay!!). There’s a way to talk about the promiscuity and shallow behavior of a lot of gay men in the gay c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:53 PM
29

First, stop coming from a place of wanting him to regret this. He won’t. Cheaters usually don’t have the capability to be that self-reflective and remorseful. Read Chump Lady’s website - it’s a lot of good advice for people who have been cheated on. Your goal, as she says, is to get to “meh.” He is below you. He is not worth the revenge and anger that you have inside you. Take it to a friend or a therapist or a punching bag or a treadmill or a new hobby, but never him. Cheaters can make you go i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:26 AM
50

Yes! The “I know the handbook says not to respond but I thought this was funny” posts.... like..... ladies, they’re thrilled they can provoke you in any way possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 04:21 AM
8

I understand wanting to be comforted, or wanting to rant for a little bit, but at some point I think people need to be hit with a clue-by-four and asked “so what are you going to DO about this?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 02:09 AM
21

Men really will admit they’re shitty human beings with their whole chest and act like it makes them deep and wonderful people for admitting it huh? It bothers me because he’s not saying any of this out of genuine remorse or contrition. He thinks laying it all out is essentially the same as genuine remorse, but it’s not. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually learned anything genuine about himself or how he sees women from this, it just reads as fake-deep word salad because he’s “soooo ~self-aware~!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:50 PM
29

That’s the part that makes me the angriest! Your kids don’t even like their father, they’re walking on eggshells around him to avoid upsetting his temper, and they’re spending very little time with him daily. What kind of relationship are you allowing them to foster by staying with a man like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:32 PM
45

I had to stop hate-reading that sub because it just kept making me furiously angry. I think a big problem with support-based subs like that is how it’s against the rules to say “girl, leave! What the fuck are you doing?” which is what a lot of them need to hear. I feel awful for those poor kids in those marriages; they’re being either ignored or screamed at by daddy dearest while mom just ignores it or comforts them yet again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:16 PM
13

A lot of them seem to be operating from a scarcity mindset, like if they don’t roll over and take this kind of behavior they’ll never find anyone. People talk very genuinely about wanting to “settle” because they don’t want to be alone (there was just a post in DOT about this) and it’s honestly terrifying. When you’re not okay with being alone, you put up with a lot of total garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:03 PM
60

I HAAAAATE that one the most. “PeOpLe AlWaYs SaY bReAkUp In ThIs SuB!!!!1” Uh yeah, because most people posting on anonymous Internet forums for advice usually aren’t coming there for a simple situation? On the front page of relationshipadvice right now are multiple stories of boyfriends who are openly treating their girlfriends like shit. It’s not like your average post is “my boyfriend and I can’t decide where to go for our anniversary” or something where communication would actually be helpfu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:52 PM
3

That’s exactly the one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:45 PM
11

She’s quoting an old tweet that circulated on Twitter a while back. Went digging in her profile for some kind of explanation. Still incredibly stupid though. It’s a troll but the most low effort one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 03:08 PM
10

This brings up something I’ve been thinking about lately - when does empathy become enabling? Because I think you’re right, these women absolutely chose this. They may have chosen it because of intense social conditioning, which is where the empathy comes in, but eventually it becomes a question of “how much are you going to allow people to walk all over you?” They know this is a problem, it may have been a problem showing red flags for their entire relationship, but they continue to stay and mi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 07:30 PM
42

I’m consistently horrified by men’s response to pregnancy. What the ever loving fuck do they think happens during pregnancy???? They all seem to think that the baby pops out of nowhere like this is The Sims. Your wife’s body will permanently change, as will her sex drive and both of your lives??? And they’re somehow surprised by this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 06:08 PM
15

I hope you blocked him after that! What an absolute sociopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 07:15 AM
39

Gaslighting would be if he told you those comments, then said “oh I never said that, you’re remembering it wrong.” This is just good old fashioned triangulation - pitting you against another woman regardless of how you feel about it in an effort to make you feel “more special.” Walk away immediately, it’s a huge narc tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 05:23 AM
21

Flying monkey bullshit. A lot of people send others to do their dirty work and inform on them (like the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz). It’s possible your ex wants him to report back if you seem amenable to dating again? Either way, ignore him. Grey rock next time he tries it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 04:17 AM
19

Why do we CARE? I think this sub needs to step back from using celebrities as examples for anything, honestly. Whether they’re “goals” or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 05:59 PM
113

Does anyone remember that reddit post about the dude fucking the (moldy, maggot-filled) coconut? Really tells you all you need to know, I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 08:38 PM
14

join us on the bachelor sub where we scream about these things!!! Also, this is why I prefer the Bachelorette. Much more fun to watch idiot dudes peacock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 12:02 PM
3

Exactly! I redirected all the nurturing and providing and gift giving into my long term female friendships and it feels amazing. My best friend who lives across the country just had her birthday and I spent an entire week and a big chunk of cash driving around my city to put together a giant care package of things she’d love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:26 PM
24

Meanwhile my boyfriend engaged with me immediately on what books I was reading at the time, told me within two dates he saw a future with me and brought up marriage in the first six months. Huh. Guess I can disprove this guy’s word salad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:22 PM
10

Dodge, duck, dip, diving and dodging the question entirely. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off! 🙄 It really isn’t hard to treat women well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:21 AM
51

I mentioned this elsewhere in another comment about this topic, but it’s all about escapism. So many men are desperate to escape their lives and their issues and dive headfirst into things that allow them to do that, whether it’s drugs or games or alcohol or buying useless toys. Plenty of women play video games, but how many posts do you see on relationship subs that have a boyfriend complaining that he has to do all the work because his girlfriend plays games for hours on end? Women are able to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 07:41 PM
25

Schroedinger’s Asshole: where the thing you just said is either serious or “just joking” depending on who you’re with at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:03 PM
64

This is why having a fuck you fund is essential. Having enough money to get out of a situation turned sour, a plan to leave even if you think you don’t need it, and the strength to enact it all are all necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:19 AM
7

Also, what’s his attitude towards therapy and counseling? So many men shit on counseling services and act like they’re useless wastes of time, either for themselves or for you. Don’t date someone who wouldn’t agree to go to therapy if they needed to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:53 PM
93

I will never understand the fucking desperate need for escapism these men have. Men get soooooooooo sTrEsSeD from work and decide to escape for hours into fictional bullshit while women are just.... dealing with their stress. I LOVE video games. I’m slowly collecting consoles and games, I play plenty of games, I’m saving up to build my own PC to finally get into PC gaming after being a handheld/console person forever and I don’t do this shit at all. I play when I have time and there aren’t press…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 04:22 PM
10

I’m forever utterly confused by men who have children with their wives and are then somehow bewildered that their lives have significantly changed? Like..... yes, dude, having kids is a huge and life changing deal? Did you never, not a single time, think about how your lives would have to change in order to accommodate the new and very needy person in your family? They act like having kids is like adopting a cat or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 02:19 PM
1

Pro-life is a big ol’ nope. If things become serious between you, and you wanted to get an abortion if you accidentally got pregnant, how quickly do you think he’d switch up on you? Obviously there’s no guarantee it would ever get that far with him - but it’s a possibility, and a very scary one. Plan for the worst possible scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:01 PM
68

THANK YOU. This is something that I also have a massive problem with seeing in all these r/relationships posts. When my boyfriend and I started dating, I had a note in my notes app where I would write down little things about him to remember where I could surprise him. If he offhandedly mentions anything relating to likes/dislikes/experiences, I make a mental note about it. He has always done the exact same thing for me - reciprocating the energy the entire way. He knows me like the back of his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 05:55 PM
3

This makes me wonder what her parents’ relationship is like. If her parents modeled a healthy relationship she probably wouldn’t think this was normal behavior. Usually when people are this turned around and confused it’s a combination of trauma in their upbringing plus isolation plus gaslighting. I feel awful for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 08:46 AM
54

One of the best things about this book, in an abundance of good things, is that it makes it clear that abuse doesn’t always - if ever - come from mental illness; it comes from entitlement. Abusers feel entitled to act the way they do, that they have a right to their actions and moods and partners, and will act on that entitlement accordingly. Too often I see women given advice on their shitty boyfriends and husbands that encourages them to talk it out, or take him to therapy, or have him diagnos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:48 PM
15

I fully believe a woman wrote this. r/unpopularopinion are where all the wannabe edgelords and pickme’s go to say “dOeS aNyOnE eLsE tHiNk (racist/sexist/stereotypical/not like other girls opinion) iS tRuE?!?!” It’s all people who think they’re some kind of V for Vendetta truth tellers for believing in wildly offensive shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:15 PM
5

Schrodinger’s Asshole: where he’s either completely serious or “jUsT jOkInG” depending on the reactions of the people around him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:21 PM
12

I always love the posts that ask for advice but then say “NOT LOOKING TO BREAK UP, NOT LOOKING TO BE LECTURED.” Like..... you posted on an advice sub, beloved. If you’re not prepared to hear what you don’t want to hear, don’t ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:15 PM
59

Block. Block block block. Tell your landlady that you two are done, you don’t want him allowed in the house if he does come over, and ask her to stay out of it. If you can’t block because he has your things, a key to your place, or anything else, try to meet him in a neutral location and get it all back. He very clearly wants to be seen as a good person without actually doing the work of being a good person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:11 PM
9

I’m turning 25 this year and I’m actually very excited to grow older. I feel like my college years were very stressful - I worked AND went to school full time - and since graduating I feel much healthier and have started to really build up the aspects of my life that I had to put on hold because I didn’t have the time/energy/money in school. I’ve learned how to weed out the people who don’t put reciprocal effort into relationships, I’ve started to build a better friend circle, my relationship ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:07 AM
178

I think they’re both utterly gorgeous and talented, but.... truth be told, I think it’s time to retire these types of posts. There was a post the other day talking about how crossposting from MGTOW is just giving them further attention and I think these posts talking about “the wall” do the same thing. It’s a bullshit concept that doesn’t even deserve engagement or a further thought. There’s no need to be posting proof that it’s false constantly. These RP/MGTOW types are beneath our notice in ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 09:56 AM
5

I never dated in high school and honestly never felt the desire to. It was a combination of low self-esteem, going to a school in a very rural and Republican area (so everyone was terrible), and watching my friends have messy high school relationships. I knew dating would open me up to a bunch of messes that I couldn’t handle, so I didn’t do anything. Continued that into college while I worked on my self esteem and my education. Met a guy in college my second year who gave off all green flags at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:43 AM
21

As a bisexual woman this sounds like my absolute worst nightmare. Anyone looking for a unicorn is usually not mature enough to handle treating them like a third functioning person and not just a relationship auxiliary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 02:20 AM
31

Superman syndrome. They want a woman they can “save” so they’re perpetually the hero and also forever in control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 06:56 AM
27

One of my bras alone costs $120 and they have the audacity lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 05:49 AM
49

I know coffee dates are against FDS but when I was single I liked to do the same thing. Having an easy out for the pre-date was essential for me to feel safe; the important part, IMO, is the effort they put in after. Do they text and call? Do they set up the next date(s)? Do they give off green flags and good vibes? That’s my personal benchmark to go by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 06:51 AM
20

Serious Rosemary’s Baby vibes. Jesus Christ what the fuck. Glad she’s getting good advice in the original thread at least. Also, this implies that he’s okay with this outcome. If he genuinely believes she’s going to die, wouldn’t an actual caring husband not want kids? So he’s okay with her becoming essentially a suicidal baby carrier in his mind?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:18 AM
40

I’m always deeply, deeply suspicious of men who make everything sound like their ex’s fault and that they’re the powerless party along for the ride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:10 AM
40

Yes! This! When I was on Her, the wlw dating app, half the women on there were doing the “my boyfriend lets me play around and experience women” thing. Don’t engage! You’re not somebody’s social experiment and it rarely ends well, especially if you’re prone to catching feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 04:47 AM
4

Would an eviction notice work if he was on the lease?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 02:04 PM
13

So? Not your circus, not your monkeys. He could find a job if he actually tried. Hell, he could apply for entry level or minimum wage jobs to tide him over if he really wanted to. He’s an adult, he has to figure his own shit out. Getting a job at McDonald’s in the interim is not one of the twelve plagues of fucking Egypt. Stay strong sis. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 02:03 PM
32

“So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?” You hit the nail on the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 01:20 PM
2

Eric Taylor. He and Tami’s relationship in Friday Night Lights is easily the best marriage on TV possibly ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:58 PM
6

I’ve noticed I’m generally happier (and like myself more as well!) when I make the effort to compliment and appreciate my fellow women. Giving out support and compliments and fostering close relationships with them also had the unexpected effect of me being mentally and physically kinder to myself and appreciating the little things about myself more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 08:58 PM
79

This sounds like his girlfriend wrote it on his profile before breaking up with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 07:24 AM
8

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Don’t even let her rant. Stop her before she starts and say “I don’t talk about others’ personal lives at work.” Walk away if she won’t listen. That level of over sharing and familiarity when you barely know her is a glaring red flag. I’ve noticed that people who love drama and hate giving any effort in friendships do this shit and do it early. Just tell her to google therapists in her area and walk away. Nothing good comes from being the therapy friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 12:01 AM
11

This is absolutely the one. The drug usage is rampant and terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:55 PM
64

There’s an acronym for it - JADE. Justify, argue, defend, explain. They try to get you to JADE so they can open the dialogue for more abuse. Don’t JADE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 10:18 PM
2

This type of humor is so exhausting. This “here are all my flaws, I’m trash lol I’m just the worst!” shit is so dumb. There’s a difference between self deprecating humor and just.... wallowing in your flaws and shrugging about them and acting like they’re funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 06:32 AM
2

I can’t imagine having so much time on my hands to make a video this fucking long all for male approval. Hey girl, if you’re reading this, I hope you got the attention and clicks you so desperately seem to want!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 02:41 AM
19

She’s the best person I’ve ever known. I’m incredibly lucky that I’ve been raised by a ton of take-no-shit women and kind, loving men. She told me a story about one of her teenage boyfriends who pushed her off a porch during an argument. She broke up with him immediately, and her mother would pay her a quarter every day to take to the pay phone to “call him and ask to take you back.” She would spend it on candy and come back to the house openly eating it. When her mom asked if she’d called him, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:44 AM
36

A fuck off find is an absolute, non-negotiable necessity. My grandmother on my mom’s side has been in a happy, loving marriage for 43 years. My grandpa is an absolute gem of a man. She still told me about the fuck off fund that she had, and still has, since her early 20s, and how financial independence on men is something to avoid. She’s the original HVW in my life. The stories she tells about curving and dropping LVM (that were often pushed on her by my terrible great-grandmother) are incredibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:17 AM
12

On r/askwomen you can search for threads like “what do you love about your SO?” and read a lot of incredible, thoughtful compliments on who their boyfriends and husbands are as independent individuals. On r/askmen all the similar threads are full of “she’s a good wife/mother, she does things for me, she makes me feel XYZ,” etc. Men don’t compliment women as people, they compliment what roles women play in their lives and what they do for men. None of these threads have “she’s a driven individual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 11:47 AM
18

If you want a look at this kind of attitude, hop over to r/askmen and read any of their relationship questions, particularly the ones having to do with regrets or personal mistakes. The way they talk about women vs the way they talk about themselves is illuminating, to say the least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 08:21 AM
19

How did she last an entire YEAR with this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 08:06 AM
139

Posts like this in those subs are why I had to stop reading and start hanging out here more often. I kept reading these and thinking, girl, what the absolute fuck? Why are you with him????? Why are you constantly asking if you’re overreacting for having emotions or being upset? What the entire fuck? Where is the rage and anger? I’m just glad this sub has angry women who won’t take shit. Put the fucking fury back into feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 01:47 PM
18

I think a lot of people really underestimate the racism of white women. Saying they voted to please their men is only possibly half of the story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:11 PM
13

53% of white women voted for Trump. You can’t really ignore that for a lot of women, their “best interests” align with the same men she’s talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 06:35 PM
109

Lmao I found this sub through one of these made up revenge fantasy posts. It’s like free advertising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 05:26 PM
6

Was that the one where it was her fiancé who left her? I read that too and couldn’t believe all the dumb shit people were saying. Comments in those threads are always like “well you both obviously have different views on sex,” and it’s like.... but if they’re engaged, clearly they both now have the same view? People act like sleeping around is a forever condemnation of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 11:40 PM
5

I will never not sing Chump Lady’s praises to the sky. She’s the only one that really breaks down the total utter bullshit that reconciling with a cheater is. People waste so much time trying to save a relationship where the other person clearly does not care about them. She’s excellent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:46 AM
54

Do you ever realize men like this talk about their wives only in terms of what their wives can do for them? “Somebody to help you deal with [life].” Not talking about her accolades or individual qualities or accomplishments, but what she brings to his life and gives him as a benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 01:16 PM
16

There is zero point to having the relationship post-mortem conversation (or usually multiple conversations). Closure is something you give yourself, and oftentimes asking why someone treated you horribly is a wasted effort because there is no reason that will clarify anything or ease the pain for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 05:52 AM
3

I am immensely, incredibly lucky that the women in my life (and the men too, surprisingly) all put this lesson in my head as soon as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:57 AM
12

Adding to this - you CANNOT save people. Don’t even try it. My early 20s were me trying to be the nurturing “mom friend” who saved everyone from their own self inflicted problems and gave free therapy sessions. Not fucking once did it help anyone. Not me and not the people who asked for advice that they never took or ignored. People will not improve unless they want to and you absolutely cannot and will never love them into being better people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:55 AM
13

Be alone for a while. Fall in love with you. Set boundaries and stick to them. I’m 24, and I can tell you that every year of my life from 18 to now has been wildly different. I feel like a different person each year, I changed and discovered so much about myself in such a short period of time. The me of right now feels unbelievably different to the me of last year. Sometimes the 20 year old me feels really far away. This is the age when you and everyone else in our age group is figuring out who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:53 AM
17

The infamous white Bronco guy! I couldn’t believe how shitty that was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 04:22 AM
12

Maybe this is just my family, but I know absolutely nothing about my great-grandfather or any relative beyond that. There’s really no emphasis on legacy, and I’d wager most families don’t know much, if at all, about their great or great-great (etc) relatives. What kind of a legacy is that if it only lasts maybe three generations and fades away? Also, most people are totally average. Your legacy is just people with less and less DNA in common with you living their same average lives - and that’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 09:33 PM
36

Chump Lady is the absolute best. Most cheating sites focus on “affair recovery” or reconciliation. She’s the only one to be realistic about how it’s total bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 05:27 AM
37

Any man who thinks a woman looks like the picture on the right naturally deserves to be tricked, honestly. How dumb can you get?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 01:52 AM
1

The one and only fuckboy I ever “dated” was like this. His friends “wanted him to drink” so he did. He would brag about “only spending $60 at the bar tonight,” except this was when I lived in the Midwest and dive bars had $3 happy hour shots and drinks constantly. He ended up being an alcoholic who just used his friends and partying as an excuse to get trashed because there was “no way for him to say no to buddies.” Red flag central.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 10:03 PM
5

So the trash took itself out and you got a new tat you didn’t have to pay for? Win-win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:14 AM
21

The noticing patterns thing is EXACTLY it. When you see it somewhere, you see it everywhere. Realizing that the same excuses, the same lies, and the same manipulative behaviors are in every LBM’s playbook, you can’t unsee it. It really forces you to stop believing their lies and look at their actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:42 PM
33

I would take this more seriously if she wasn’t married to a convicted rapist and felon, though. Hardly king status.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 06:44 PM
44

The drinking and averse reaction to normal body functions sounds shitty. Periods happen. As does stomach flu and recovery from surgery or childbirth or just general gross body things. It happens. Maybe he didn’t know how to deal with it at the time or maybe it’s a sign of him not being mature. The drinking. Oof. I know dudes like these and unless he’s trying to actively cut down or cut those friends out of his life he’ll use them as his excuse to get smashed every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 04:51 PM
9

This dude didn’t consider that his wife probably feels a giant loss of identity in being a SAHM, that she probably hasn’t had a day to herself in forever and most likely feels like her entire existence is just mom and wife appliance. No wonder she’s upset, even her gift for a holiday isn’t an escape from that. Good lord. And the fact that he wants to justify himself via others instead of actually working on his marriage???? Also, Jesus Christ. The more stories I read like this the more I’m convi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 01:57 AM
4

The entire sub is just a circlejerk of people trying to get validation for their choices. Nobody actually wants an answer, they want to be justified via other people. AITA needs a bot that posts “YTA for this obvious validation post” over and over again. It’s terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 01:53 AM
23

They externalize all their issues. All of them. They’re emotionally constipated and instead of facing inwards and doing any kind of self-reflection, they push it onto women to help them get there. It’s not just with emotions, either, it’s with everything. Externalize and blame women. When you notice the pattern, you can’t stop noticing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 07:25 PM
9

Dave Cullen’s book Columbine is also an excellent read about this and the families involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 02:42 AM
8

r/badwomensanatomy as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter