~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themGood for you. This doesn't apply to you. Cheers for the debate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:17 PM |
| 7 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themGood to know... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:16 PM |
| 5 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themCheers for the debate | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:16 PM |
| 9 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themYou’ve written a whole essay just to avoid engaging with the core point: if you're going to say you value emotionally open, non-traditionally masculine men, then mock and reject them for acting that way, you're reinforcing the very gender roles you claim to oppose. That’s the contradiction nothing about that requires male fragility to be valid. Mockery is a form of social conditioning, especially when it comes from the group you're trying to be accepted by. Men have always been socially penalise… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:15 PM |
| 10 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themI get what you're saying, and I’m not denying that both sides face contradictory pressures. But this post is intentionally focused on the male side not to erase anyone else's struggles, but because conversations about female expectations are already far more socially accepted and widely acknowledged. And while being an effeminate man might be more acceptable in some circles, that acceptance often disappears in dating and attraction dynamics where the old masculine script still dominates. That’s … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:13 PM |
| 9 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themThat’s great and I’m glad you’ve had positive experiences. But personal luck doesn’t erase cultural patterns. The post isn’t saying every woman punishes men for breaking masculine norms. It’s saying there’s a loud and visible trend especially online where these things are mocked or seen as unattractive, even by women who claim to support emotional openness or non-traditional roles. It's not about begging for acceptance but about highlighting a double standard that still shapes how masculinity is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:12 PM |
| 12 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themSure, sometimes “ick” is just shorthand for “no spark.” But when the reason behind that missing spark is consistently tied to a man doing something deemed “unmanly,” it stops being a random excuse and starts revealing a pattern. My post isn’t about individual rejections but about how cultural values shape attraction, even among people who claim to be rejecting those values. That’s the part worth calling out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 02:10 PM |
| 8 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themThat’s a fair distinction and in theory, I’d agree. But the problem isn’t with people choosing traditional roles. It’s with saying “I believe in freedom of choice” while shaming men for choosing to act outside the traditional masculine script. It stops being about individual preference when men are mocked, rejected, or publicly ridiculed for displaying traits that don’t fit the stoic, dominant archetype. That’s not “live and let live” that’s reinforcing the same norms people claim to be against.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:45 PM |
| 4 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject them💯 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:39 PM |
| 8 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themIt’s not news. The point is that many women who claim not to like traditional gender roles still enforce them just selectively, when it benefits them. That’s the contradiction. If you're going to uphold the roles, fine jst don’t act like you're above them while doing it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:38 PM |
| 12 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themNo one’s denying that women face intense and unfair expectations too especially around motherhood and appearance. That’s a valid conversation. But that’s not what this thread is about. What I’m critiquing is the disconnect between progressive rhetoric and dating behaviour. When men are mocked for being "too emotional" or "not manly enough" while being told society wants them to be emotionally open and challenge toxic masculinity that's not just pressure, it's mixed messaging. It's not about who … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:37 PM |
| 9 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themYou’re not disproving my point you’re just describing emotionally balanced men who still fit comfortably within the traditional masculine mold. No one said men can’t be sensitive. I’m talking about the specific social penalties men face when their behaviour breaks from the unspoken masculine script like being too emotionally expressive, too soft, or displaying behaviours coded as “feminine” (e.g., ordering dessert, being nervous, showing vulnerability early on). And I don’t need to provide a lis… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:35 PM |
| 3 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themI'm good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:21 PM |
| 12 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themThis isn’t about being shocked that conservative women prefer traditional men that’s expected and internally consistent. My post is calling out progressive women who talk about dismantling toxic masculinity, advocate for emotional openness in men, and claim to reject gender roles… then turn around and ridicule men for doing anything outside the traditional masculine script. The contradiction isn’t in trad dynamics. Its in saying one thing and rewarding the opposite. That’s what deserves scrutiny… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:20 PM |
| 12 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themWell said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:19 PM |
| 9 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themAnd if someone points out the pattern behind why people get the ick, don’t deflect by calling it a rant. This isn’t about forcing anyone to date anyone—it’s about exposing the hypocrisy of claiming to want emotionally available men while mocking them for showing it. I can't help it if that hits a nerve. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:18 PM |
| 12 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themPersonally i dont think its getting traction purely out of outrage—it’s getting traction because it taps into a shared cultural instinct, even if it’s subconscious. Engagement includes agreement, amusement, and reinforcement, not just anger. If it was universally seen as ridiculous, it wouldn’t be treated like relatable content. That’s the difference and that’s why it’s worth examining. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:17 PM |
| 17 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themNobody’s saying women need to date people they’re not attracted to. That’s a complete misread. The point is, if your “lack of attraction” consistently aligns with shaming men for anything that isn’t traditionally masculine then yeah, that says something about the values you hold, no matter how progressive you claim to be. It’s not about coercion but exposing a blatant contradiction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:02 PM |
| 17 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themSure, biology and discernment can co-exist but that’s not really what I’m critiquing. I’m not saying people can’t have preferences. I’m saying it’s hypocritical to preach progress while still punishing men for breaking traditional norms. If women are going to talk about dismantling toxic masculinity, then turning around and mocking men for being soft, emotional, or “unmanly” isn’t just preference it’s reinforcing the very system they claim to oppose. That’s the contradiction I’m pointing out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:59 PM |
| 23 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themI agree with a lot of it especially the breakdown of competence vs. incompetence as socially coded but here’s the thing: when women say “I got the ick because he used an umbrella” or “he looked too excited,” that’s not about competence. That’s not about insecurity or even subcultural mismatch. That’s about violating aesthetic expectations tied to traditional masculinity quiet stoicism, control, and emotional containment. You’re right that some “icks” are about vibe checks, compatibility, or broa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:58 PM |
| 11 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themGo look it up yourself. I already gave some examples. This isn't incel rhetoric—it’s a critique of the double standards baked into how mainstream dating preferences are framed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:56 PM |
| 15 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themFair, but social media doesn’t exist in a vacuum it reflects and reinforces real attitudes, especially among younger people. If certain “icks” consistently go viral, it’s not just the algorithm it’s because they resonate. People share them, laugh, agree, and internalise. Sure, not every woman is walking around saying “he used an umbrella, ew,” but the fact that stuff like that gets millions of likes tells you something. Social media may exaggerate, but it also exposes the kind of unspoken rules … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:55 PM |
| 0 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themGuess so | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:40 PM |
| 9 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themProbably | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:13 PM |
| 56 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themHonestly? That might not be far off. Whether it’s conscious or not, there’s definitely a pattern where “progressive” women still reward men who conform to traditional masculinity and quietly filter out the ones who don’t. The twist is, instead of saying “I want a man who leads,” they’ll say “I want a man who challenges social norms” but only if he does it in a way that still makes them feel secure, dominant, protected, or impressed. It’s the same test, just dressed up in modern language. And you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:02 PM |
| – | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themYes, actually, I have compared the usernames. Using a cross-referenced, cloud-based identity resolution pipeline supported by a distributed NoSQL graph database running on a multi-node Kubernetes cluster. I deployed a machine learning algorithm trained on natural language processing with BERT embeddings to match linguistic patterns across TikTok captions, Reddit posts, and archived Twitter threads. Then I ran a Bloom filter combined with fuzzy hashing via SSDeep to detect near-duplicate phrasing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 12:01 PM |
| 9 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themYeah, “ick” is just a rebranded way of saying “turn-off,” but the point isn’t that people can’t have preferences it’s what those preferences reveal. When a large chunk of these so-called icks boil down to “he wasn’t manly enough,” it shows how even women who claim to be progressive still judge men by old-school standards. That’s not some deep new revelation but jts calling out a contradiction that’s been papered over with trendy language and jokes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 11:58 AM |
| 38 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themYeah, it’s less about intelligence and more about emotional maturity. You can be book-smart and still uphold shallow, performative standards because they’ve been socially rewarded your whole life. And that’s the issue behaviours like this don’t get checked, they get validated. So the cycle continues, and then people act surprised when some men stop playing the game. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 11:57 AM |
| 24 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themExactly. It’s selective equality. Strong when it benefits them, sensitive when it’s convenient, traditional when it serves them and that’s not progress, that’s cherry-picking. Also some “icks” are jokes but even jokes reveal values. If the punchline is always “he wasn’t man enough,” then that says a lot about what’s still being reinforced under the surface. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 11:33 AM |
| 10 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themIntelligent contribution. Cheers lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 11:31 AM |
| 8 | A lot of “icks” and turn-offs are just modern women reinforcing traditional gender roles while pretending to reject themYeah, I actually agree to be honest. Walking away makes more sense than trying to win a rigged game. The point of my post isn’t to beg for acceptance or complain that men aren’t being chosen but to highlight how the people who claim to want change are often the ones enforcing the same outdated roles just with a modern twist. If women still socially punish men for stepping outside traditional masculinity, even while claiming to be progressive, then there's no real incentive for men to play along.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 11:29 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'I mean you supposedly agree so not much else to discuss. Cheers | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:46 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'I did. You rejected it as you're always going to do when shown something you don't like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:44 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Being familiar with leftist infighting doesn’t mean the right people are being held accountable. Debating theory isn’t the same as publicly challenging toxic behaviour that damages the movement’s credibility. Also, if your go-to move is assuming I must’ve been brainwashed by grifters just because I pointed out a flaw, that’s not intellectual curiosity it’s projection. Try arguing the point instead of dodging it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:41 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Pointing out a cultural bias isn’t conspiratorial it’s observation. If a pattern keeps showing up, across platforms and in real life, it’s not a coincidence, it’s a reflection of what society’s comfortable confronting and what it’s not. You keep saying “this is already addressed,” but that’s not true at scale. Quiet pushback in niche spaces doesn’t fix the fact that viral, harmful rhetoric often gets no serious challenge from people with actual reach. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:40 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'The real problem isn’t just what’s said on TikTok it’s that female-on-male abuse is a real, documented issue that rarely gets serious attention anywhere. Places like TikTok just make the cultural double standard visible. The reason it doesn’t get traction isn’t because it’s not real it’s because it’s inconvenient to women. It threatens the narrative, and for some, that’s more uncomfortable than the abuse itself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 02:08 PM |
| 2 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Because the world is increasingly termianlly online so when toxic, misandrist content spreads widely and goes unchallenged by people with influence, it damages credibility. And pointing out that men don’t get to lean on victimhood in the same way isn’t silencing women it’s highlighting a real imbalance in how society reacts to harm. If you interpret “men deserve to be taken seriously too” as an attack, maybe ask why that feels threatening. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 01:54 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'You see what you want to see. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 01:52 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdNDMJFS/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdNDr3v8/ "Why should I care about, let alone feel the need to denounce, something that I don't see or hear about?" Imagine how problematic this would sound in a different context... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 01:51 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'It is because it was a bit more than a tweet. Here's some more as another user has presented already: https://np.reddit.com/r/MensRights/s/EZ0Rfv7XYW https://np.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/s/na7Sk1cVos https://np.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/s/RWxNvXPYeB https://np.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/s/X5KqXX375G | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 11:59 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Definitely normal behaviour. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 11:59 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'And that social role comes with expectations. No way around it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 11:00 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Cool. Cheers for the debate | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 10:59 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'No, I’m pointing out a pattern not denying that some feminists speak up. The issue is that when toxic messaging goes viral, the public pushback is often minimal or drowned out, especially from those with reach. That’s not a double standard on my part it’s holding a movement accountable to its own values. If you’re more upset at me for pointing it out than at the people undermining the message, maybe ask why that is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 10:51 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'You’re missing the point. I’m not asking feminists to perform for my approval. I’m pointing out that if a movement claims moral authority, then it has to uphold its values when it’s inconvenient, not just when it’s easy. That’s not about pleasing me it’s about credibility. And yes, feminists can talk about more than one thing. But when they consistently avoid or downplay issues that don’t centre women, while loudly condemning everything else, that selective silence sends a message whether they i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 10:28 AM |
| 5 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Feminism gives people a moral high ground and with that comes expectations. If you claim to stand for equality, then there’s a responsibility to actively uphold that standard, not just when it’s convenient. You can’t lean on the movement’s values for credibility and then go silent when those values are blatantly undermined by others under the same banner. And yes, men absolutely need to push back against misandry too. But let’s not pretend the playing field is equal. Men don’t get to weaponise v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 10:27 AM |
| 2 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'So let me get this straight you’ve never seen me call out misogyny on one subreddit, so you’ve decided I don’t hold men accountable anywhere? That’s a reach. I’m not obligated to perform moral consistency for your approval online just to prove I have principles. I wrote a post calling out a cultural blind spot around female accountability not to deflect from misogyny, but to address an issue that rarely gets airtime. That doesn’t mean I ignore the rest. It means I’m capable of talking about more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 10:20 AM |
| 4 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'They’re only able to do that because no one with influence says anything when those outrageous things blow up. Silence gives them room to paint the whole movement however they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 10:10 AM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'"I'm not moving goalposts" This is celebrating and encouraging violence against men. You shouldn't ask for evidence if you're gonna squirm and move goalposts when it's given to you. Anything else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:59 AM |
| 0 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'No, I do it in real life instead. Anything else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:57 AM |
| 2 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Thank you for this brother. They'll move the goal post somehow though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:56 AM |
| 2 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'The killallmen hashtag is that evidence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 09:13 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'I can't account for stupid Americans unfortunately. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:52 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Because their the ones who've taken a moral high ground and present themselves as morally superior. That comes with expectations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:52 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'True | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:51 AM |
| 0 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Yes. Next question | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:50 AM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'You keep moving the goalposts. I never said feminists are advocating violence or removing rights. I said there’s a pattern of misandrist rhetoric gaining traction with little public pushback. That matters, because culture shapes attitudes long before laws do. Dismissing that as “just a few posts” while ignoring the reach they have is like ignoring smoke because there’s no fire yet. The standard shouldn’t be “is it violent?” it should be “is it healthy?” killallmen | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:50 AM |
| 0 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'I’m talking about when content that openly mocks male victims, generalises men as inherently violent or useless, or celebrates double standards goes viral and gets no meaningful pushback. That’s not theory—that’s blatant hostility. And when it’s met with silence or even praise, it becomes part of how people perceive the movement. That’s the kind of thing I’m pointing to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:49 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. And no, the biggest names aren’t always the loudest anymore. Viral content from unknowns regularly outperforms public figures online. That’s the landscape now, whether we like it or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:47 AM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Oh if you don't see those things all must be good then /s | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:46 AM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'No what I’m saying is when viral content reaches millions and defines the movement for the average person, ignoring it or pretending it’s just “snippets” is dishonest. I’ve never claimed all feminists think the same but when harmful voices dominate the algorithm and go unchecked, that shapes public perception whether you like it or not. If you care about how the movement is seen, you can’t just dismiss that as “dumb takes.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:46 AM |
| 4 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'I’m saying when something blatantly toxic gains serious traction, silence from prominent voices becomes a problem. And sure, feminism is taken seriously in many circles, but online perception matters too, especially when that’s where younger generations are getting their first exposure. Saying “go look outside social media” ignores the fact that social media is the battleground for influence now. You can’t just opt out of that and expect the narrative to stay intact. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:44 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'This "it's your algorithm" take is always weak. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 08:29 AM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Accountability scales with influence. If you’re just a regular person, fine but if you’ve built a voice around feminism, then yeah, the silence matters. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:41 PM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Yes because those “random people on TikTok” are racking up millions of views and becoming the face of feminism to the average person online. When their content spreads widely and no one challenges it, that silence does shape perception. Movements don’t just get defined by big names they get defined by whoever's loudest and left unchecked. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:40 PM |
| 7 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'I don’t need to watch hours of niche feminist streams to see the viral content that shapes public perception. That’s the whole point loud, toxic takes get traction outside those circles, and barely anyone with influence publicly pushes back. Internal debates behind closed doors don’t matter much if the worst voices are left to represent the movement in the mainstream. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:39 PM |
| 0 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Sure, every group has infighting but not every group lets its worst public voices speak unchecked while pretending it’s not happening. If the radical takes are what everyone sees and no one challenges, that’s not just infighting—that’s a credibility problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:37 PM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'The issue is the lack of public pushback when viral, misandrist content blows up and paints the movement in a toxic light. If the loudest voices get a pass because “it’s just the internet,” then don’t be surprised when people assume that silence is agreement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:37 PM |
| 3 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'No one’s asking you to scour the internet or track every random comment. But when toxic content goes viral, racks up likes, and spreads unchecked, that’s when it matters. This is the unfortunate consequence of how online we all are now. If people stay quiet while harmful takes gain traction, the silence becomes part of the problem. You don’t need psychic powers just the willingness to say “that’s not it” when the moment calls for it and sugar cost what you say or quiet your voice because you're … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:34 PM |
| 2 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Calling each other out over ideological differences isn’t the same as publicly pushing back against openly toxic, misandrist behaviour. A lot of the infighting you’re describing is over theory or purity tests not basic decency. The issue isn’t too much accountability, it’s that the wrong kind often takes priority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:32 PM |
| 6 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Accountability isn’t just a few comments under a post or niche threads calling something out it’s people with reach and influence publicly pushing back when toxic takes go viral. If someone says something blatantly misandrist and it gets thousands of likes, and the response is crickets or downvotes for calling it out, that’s not accountability. That’s avoidance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:29 PM |
| 5 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'This post isn’t about violence or rights being stripped nobody claimed feminism as a whole is advocating for that. It’s about the tone-deaf, misandrist rhetoric that gets thousands of likes and shares online while going unchallenged by the same people who claim to stand for equality. A perfect example is the whole #killallmen trend. It was brushed off as a “joke,” yet it circulated widely with barely any meaningful pushback from mainstream feminist voices. Imagine flipping that hashtag no one wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:28 PM |
| 5 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Sure, big-name figures like Rowling get pushback but those are exceptions, not the rule. Most of the time, it’s the everyday toxic takes that go viral and stay unchecked. And those are the ones shaping how people see the movement. If infighting is happening, it needs to be about calling out harmful behaviour not just ideological turf wars. There’s a difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:24 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Very true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:23 PM |
| 8 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'No one’s asking for every feminist to police every bad take but when the most viral, inflammatory voices go unchallenged publicly, they do end up shaping perception. That’s just reality. And telling people to “turn off the noise” misses the point. If the movement wants to be taken seriously, it can’t just rely on people digging through comment sections or niche subs for nuance it has to make that nuance loud enough to be seen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:22 PM |
| -1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Splits aren’t the same as accountability. You can have ideological differences without ever publicly challenging the worst voices in your space. When toxic takes are loud and unchecked, silence reads as agreement. If people are willing to say “not all feminists” in private but won’t publicly push back, that’s not accountability it’s self-preservation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:21 PM |
| 4 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Sure, calling people out can cause infighting but that doesn’t make the accountability itself the problem. The issue isn’t disagreement existing, it’s when toxic takes are left to dominate because people are more afraid of conflict than they are of what those views represent. Accountability that ruffles feathers is still necessary. Civility without standards is just appeasement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:19 PM |
| 1 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Well said | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 05:18 PM |
| 8 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Infighting and accountability aren’t the same thing. Disagreeing over strategy or ideology isn’t the same as calling out blatantly toxic behaviour. If anything, the fact that people conflate the two is part of the issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 04:54 PM |
| -2 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'That’s not the point. This isn’t about women getting criticised it’s about toxic voices within a movement going unchecked by the movement itself. External criticism isn’t the same as internal accountability. The two aren’t interchangeable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 04:53 PM |
| 9 | One of feminism’s biggest weaknesses is the reluctance to hold toxic voices accountable because doing so might 'validate the enemy'Bad-faith actors twisting things isn’t a reason to avoid holding people accountable. That’s like letting trolls dictate your integrity. And sure, critique happens in feminist spaces but it’s often quiet or buried. If the loudest voices are the worst ones and they go unchecked, that’s still a problem. You can’t expect people to separate signal from noise if the noise is all they hear. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 04:53 PM |
| 7 | The Overabundance of Male Validation Has Made Us DisposableThat’s a wild reach. Pointing out that men can respond to tough conditions with self-respect instead of desperation isn’t ‘emotional sadism’ it’s just accountability. A hostile world gets more hostile when people stop taking ownership of what they can control. Recognising that doesn’t mean you lack compassion it means you’re not giving up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 06:05 PM |
| 7 | The Overabundance of Male Validation Has Made Us DisposableBut the response to scarcity doesn’t have to be desperation. That’s the part men can control. Culture may be downstream, but if the individual response to pressure is self-sabotage, it’s still worth calling out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 03:51 PM |
| 1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?100% going to be a problem. How long do you think it will take to actually get something akin to that movie? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 10:30 PM |
| 1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Yeesh. See you in 50 years! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 10:17 PM |
| 1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?I think there’s a big difference between sex work being legal and it being truly destigmatised. In a lot of places it’s technically allowed, but still seen as shameful or something to be kept secret. That social pressure still pushes most men toward traditional relationships as the “respectable” route. The question is, if that stigma disappeared entirely and sex work became as normalised as any other service would those preferences stay the same? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 09:54 PM |
| 1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Even if she isn't in her prime anymore, yeah, once you said sexbot and Megan fox in the same sentence, it was a done deal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 09:50 PM |
| 0 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?You know there's a bit more to life than women, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Haven't seen it. Could you elaborate? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 07:56 PM |
| 1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Good point | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 06:49 PM |
| 0 | A case study on why dating is absolutely horrible for men and all men should go MGTOWHonestly, I wouldn’t read too deep into AITA posts anymore. That subreddit has had a well-established bias against men for years. You can predict the top comments the second you read the gender dynamic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 06:15 AM |
| 0 | A case study on why dating is absolutely horrible for men and all men should go MGTOWHonestly, I wouldn’t read too deep into AITA posts That subreddit has had a well-established bias against men for years. If a man is in a vulnerable position, he's mocked. If a woman acts controlling or even abusive, she’s celebrated for setting “boundaries.” It’s not even subtle. You can predict the top comments the second you read the gender dynamic and that says everything. The sub isn’t about fairness or actual moral judgment anymore. It’s just a hive mind with a script. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 06:14 AM |
| -1 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Hmm elaborate i am curious what you mean. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 03:24 AM |
| 2 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?See, I actually think that’s a really interesting point. A lot of us guys probably underestimate just how much getting our sexual needs met without the effort or risk of dating would affect our motivation to pursue relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 03:23 AM |
| 3 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?If partially destigmatised, semi-interactive sex work is already enough to reduce some men’s motivation to pursue real relationships, imagine how much more pronounced that effect might be if sex work were fully normalised, safe, and socially accepted. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 03:13 AM |
| 2 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Fair stigma is definitely a tough thing to fully eliminate. But for the sake of discussion, I’m more interested in the what if. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 03:10 AM |
| 8 | As a man, "decentering" women is one of the best things you can do for yourselfGood to see more men thinking this way so I'm not complaining. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 07:03 PM |
| 8 | As a man, "decentering" women is one of the best things you can do for yourselfThis is my plan! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWanting to be wanted is human. Needing it to feel whole is the problem. You’ve mistaken empowerment for denial because you can’t imagine self-worth without external approval. De-prioritising women isn’t giving up it’s refusing to let validation define you. If that feels like a loss, that says more about your dependency than the principle itself. You’re not defending desire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/25 12:28 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYep well said | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/25 08:24 AM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYeah, responses to posts like this definitely make me lose hope, to be honest. These dudes really don't want to get better it's insane. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/25 08:23 AM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenI don’t doubt for a second that issues like political representation, bodily autonomy, and systemic rollback of women’s rights are terrifying. Those are legitimate fears, and I won’t argue against that. But we have to be careful not to generalise from personal conversations or isolated examples. Saying “women broadly have it worse than men” based on the fact that some men are worried about dating while some women are facing legislative threats simplifies both sides. It doesn’t reflect the full s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/25 01:49 AM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWorrying times | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/25 01:46 AM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesPlease don't act like you have anything astute to say. It's why you're over compensating with laughing emojis. You want proof it’s harmful? Look at how easily it turns pain into bitterness, how often it externalises blame, how deeply it encourages men to obsess over control instead of growth. That’s the impact and it’s visible in every corner of the space. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:24 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesGood let's keep it that way. It's a net negative. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:22 PM |
| 0 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWhat I said is that basing your self-worth entirely on external validation is unstable. You can value connection without being emotionally dependent on it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:22 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesAccess to tools can support autonomy but if the only outcome being pushed is women, it’s not autonomy, it’s fixation. A toolbox that only builds one thing isn’t empowering it’s limiting by design. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:19 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou’re right that external goals can be motivating but when romantic success becomes the main benchmark of improvement, it stops being a goal and starts being a dependency. And while RP claims to promote internal locus of control, the emotional volatility when results don’t come the bitterness, resentment, or blame exposes what’s really driving it underneath: outcome-based self-worth. You can’t say “it’s just a goal” and then ignore how central that goal becomes to identity in practice. And no t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:46 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesThanks for showing everyone else to | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenBut here's the issue: saying “women bear the brunt” is a value judgment. You can dress it in metaphors like scales, but when that framing is repeated over and over, it still prioritises one set of experiences above the other. You're saying men have a “seat at the table,” but that generalisation flattens the very real suffering, disposability, and lack of voice many men face especially those who aren't powerful, privileged, or connected. Being taken seriously in theory doesn’t always translate to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:28 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWith every comment you prove my point. Cheers | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:22 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower Themselves“Women have largely been the problem” is exactly the scapegoating I’m talking about. You’re not solving pain you’re outsourcing accountability. If the “first step to a solution” is blaming half the population, you’re not healing. You’re just turning your pain into a personality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenI think you’re misreading my argument. I never said patriarchy only benefits narcissistic or high-SDO men I said it benefits them the most, while leaving the majority of men dealing with a different kind of harm: silent expectations, emotional suppression, and disposability if they fail to perform. Recognising that doesn’t erase what women go through. You’re treating it like a binary: either men are victims or women are. That’s exactly the kind of zero-sum framing I’ve been pushing against this … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:09 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesThe issue isn’t that women are a motivator it’s that, in practice, they remain the motivator. If your self-worth is still tied to getting women, then the “internal locus of control” is a performance, not a mindset. That’s not real stability it’s just packaging desperation in discipline. And the second the results don’t come, the bitterness kicks in. That’s the cycle, and that’s the harm. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:04 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesCalling backlash “part of the process” doesn’t change the fact that blame and bitterness dominate the space. If the loudest voices are the worst examples, that’s not just noise that’s the tone being set. And no, the outcome hasn’t been “mostly positive.” Talking about men’s issues is important but doing it through a lens of constant resentment, control, and scapegoating women doesn’t help men. It just gives their pain a target, not a solution. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 07:58 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesRight. We as men only regress with this ideology, though, so I'd rather shut it down at any given chance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 07:56 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesPrecisely | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 07:53 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf you think being alone at 40 is worse than spending life chasing people who don’t want you, that’s your call but don’t pretend it’s wisdom. No ones buying it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 07:50 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWell said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:28 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNobody’s asking for “ascetic transformations” that’s just how it feels when you’re addicted to female validation and someone tells you to let go. And calling it “sour grapes” is projection. The panic isn’t in the suggestion to de-centre women it’s in the fear of what happens if you actually do. You’ve already decided the outcome is misery, because without that fear, the whole narrative collapses. It’s not about giving up. It’s about refusing to live life begging for crumbs of worth from people w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:28 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou can’t “define” a culture into purity while ignoring how it actually manifests. If the overwhelming tone of red pill spaces today is blame, obsession, and victimhood, then that is the lived reality of the ideology not whatever ideal version people still cling to. It’s not like redefining a word in a dictionary. It’s like watching a movement evolve, rot, and then pretending it’s still what it was at launch. Intent doesn’t outweigh outcome especially when the outcome is what’s shaping some mind… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:26 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesTotally fair society does pressure men to centre relationships and sex, no doubt. But that’s exactly why the message is important. If the world keeps telling men their worth depends on being desired, the healthiest response isn’t to double down it’s to push back. You don’t break out of a toxic system by internalising it even more. You do it by refusing to let it define you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:23 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesExactly and that’s why it’s never been about empowerment. It’s doctrine, not growth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:15 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf the anger was really toward themselves, red pill spaces wouldn’t be flooded with rants about “female nature,” hypergamy, and blame. Call it a “gynocentric grift” if you want but deflecting accountability onto women while claiming it's self-directed is peak projection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:13 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower Themselves“Content is content” is just a lazy way to avoid accountability. If the culture rewards obsession, blame, and bitterness, then that is the culture regardless of what some buried ebook once said. You don’t get to hide behind original intent when the actual output is a mess. What people engage with is what defines the space. We saw this with MGTOW. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:12 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou're confusing basic human connection with identity dependency. Yes, people need community and relationships. But needing connection isn’t the same as basing your entire self-worth on being desired. That’s what im critiquing not the need for others, but the desperation for external validation as your only source of value. If you believe self-worth can only come from others, then you're not describing healthy interdependence you're describing emotional captivity. That’s exactly why people stay … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:08 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYeah that level of nuance is unfortunately difficult for a lot of dudes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:05 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNobody’s telling people to ignore sexuality or relationships that’s a strawman. The point is to stop treating romantic success as the core of male identity. Yes, sex and connection are fundamental parts of life unfortunately but when your entire sense of worth depends on them, that’s not natural, it’s unstable. It’s not smug to suggest balance. It’s just threatening to those who don’t have any. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:02 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesThey both entail a lot of toxic men hyperfocused on women, unfortunately, so it's not surprising. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesGood argument | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 05:59 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWhen someone starts shouting “that’s not what I wrote!” five times in one comment, it usually means they know the logic doesn’t hold up under pressure. You’ve shifted goalposts, dodged every core point, and now you’re parading Andrew Tate and media outrage as proof of success as if visibility equals validity. Flat Earth got media coverage too. Doesn’t mean it’s credible. The red pill isn’t “taking off.” It’s just louder — and louder doesn’t mean healthier. It means more desperate. You didn’t win… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 05:59 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesJesus christ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:34 PM |
| 4 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIt was never about one post it’s a pattern. Every time men talk about truly de-centering women and building internal value, large parts of the space get defensive, bitter, or mocking. That’s not a coincidence. And let’s be honest: if red pill really stood for self-improvement over chasing women, the content wouldn’t be 90% strategy, blame, and obsession over female behaviour. The rhetoric doesn’t match the reality. You're going to try and convince me otherwise, but we see the truth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:31 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNobody’s saying men shouldn’t find support or direction the issue is when that direction leads them deeper into resentment and fixation, not out of it. If red pill is meant to be a lifeline, then it should actually help men heal, not convince them that women are the root of every problem. Trading despair for bitterness isn’t progress it’s just a slower way to break down. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:29 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf the goal is still to revolve your mindset, habits, and identity around getting women, then the cost is already clear your autonomy. Whether it’s “at any cost” or just THE cost, the outcome’s the same: you’re still not free. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:26 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNobody’s saying it’s wrong to want women, seek connection, or enjoy validation the problem is when that becomes your core operating system. And that’s exactly where red pill fails: it tells men to self-improve, but only so they can get women. It still makes women the end goal. That’s not growth, it’s dependency with better branding. You’re painting this like it’s some mass retreat from society, when in reality it’s a correction. Men are learning that building internal value before chasing extern… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesAgreed the part about being content with yourself before letting others in is key. That’s the kind of inner stability most red pill types skip over in favour of control tactics and overcompensation. The difference is, what you’re describing is actual independence. What a lot of red pill guys preach is conditional self-worth confident on the surface, but still built around reaction to others. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:22 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWell said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesSure but that’s the problem, isn’t it? If a huge portion of red pill followers don’t understand what it’s “actually” about, then whatever it claims to be is irrelevant. The culture is defined by how it behaves, not what its apologists insist it means. MGTOW is a perfect example what started as a concept about male independence devolved into bitterness, blame, and isolation for most of its followers. And nobody’s saying you can’t describe patterns like hypergamy. The issue is when it becomes a fi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:19 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWith every comment you prove my point. Wake up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:13 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf the argument is that masculinity collapses without women, but also that soldiers who often operate in all-male environments are the pinnacle of masculinity, then the logic contradicts itself. You can’t have it both ways. Masculinity doesn’t vanish in isolation. What breaks people isn’t lack of women it’s lack of meaning, community, or purpose. Framing it as “women or nothing” just proves the over-dependence I’m pointing out. And brushing off observable patterns with “things that never happene… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 02:30 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf “doing red pill the right way” means staying in the game no matter what even when it drains you then it’s not a path to empowerment, it’s just another form of dependence. “Monk mode” isn’t failure, it’s refusing to play a rigged game when your peace is on the line. If your identity and drive rely on impressing women, then society’s problem isn’t that men are de-centering women it’s that too many never learned to live without them at the centre in the first place. That’s not a foundation for s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:58 PM |
| 10 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf the core is really self-improvement, then it’s telling how little of the content actually reflects that. What you’re describing is a hands-off disclaimer “we’re not prescriptive, so if people obsess over women, that’s on them.” But when that obsession dominates the discourse, it’s not just a few bad apples it’s baked into the culture. If TRP is just a "toolbox" or "strategy guide," then let’s stop pretending it’s about male empowerment. It's about access, not autonomy. That distinction matter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:33 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYep | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:31 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYeah it's embarrassing | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:30 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesAgreed | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:29 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesExactly and that’s why it’s not about empowerment. It’s about managing desperation. A “toolbox” built around getting women at any cost isn’t independence it’s dependence with strategy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:29 PM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesCalling masculinity “reactive by choice” just proves my point it’s still defined by someone else. That’s not strength, it’s chasing an external reference point. And using soldiers or hermits as some kind of gotcha only makes it clearer those are examples of men who don’t rely on women for identity. Thanks for reinforcing the argument. When the majority of a space reacts the same insecure way, it’s not a “singular response.” It’s a trend. You don’t get to hide behind technicalities when the patte… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:27 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYep | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:25 PM |
| 6 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou’re not describing reality you’re describing a fear-based mindset dressed up as pragmatism. De-centering women doesn’t mean denying sexuality or pretending you don’t want connection. It means not letting those things define you, rule you, or break you. You’re assuming that without constant pursuit, you’ll end up old, alone, and miserable as if the only path to happiness is relentless validation-seeking and chasing people who don’t want you. That’s not truth. That’s internalised panic. And no … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 01:11 PM |
| 5 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesIf masculinity only exists in contrast to women, then it’s not self-defined it’s reactive. And that’s exactly the problem. True self-reliance shouldn’t collapse the moment you remove women from the centre of your identity. If masculinity needs women to function, then it isn’t strength it’s dependency dressed up as philosophy. And again, “red pill isn’t homogenous” is just a dodge. When large swaths of the space respond with the same insecurity and backlash every time emotional independence is br… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:48 AM |
| 7 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesExactly. It went from “be better so you’re not broken by rejection” to “blame women for why you’re broken.” The shift from self-improvement to victimhood disguised as confidence is what killed any substance the red pill once had. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:46 AM |
| 3 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesThanks for the definition but that still doesn’t address what I actually said. You listed ideals like “emotional self-reliance” and “masculine self-improvement,” but when men actually try to embody those things by de-centering women, red pill circles often react with mockery, deflection, or outrage exactly like what’s happening here. So either red pill fails to practise what it preaches, or those ideals are just window dressing for resentment and control narratives. You can dress it up however y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 10:13 AM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesRed pill content constantly blends self-help, dating advice, and control narratives the overlap with PUA isn’t a conflation, it’s reality. And comparing it to cherry-picking feminism to justify red pill contradictions doesn’t land. The difference is, I’m not defending blind loyalty to a label I’m calling out the pattern. If you don’t like how it looks, maybe the mirror’s the problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:59 AM |
| 4 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWell said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:43 AM |
| 4 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou keep projecting extremes that were never said. Wanting something and building your entire self-worth around it aren’t the same that is the nuance. If you’re choosing not to engage with that, fair enough. But don’t pretend it wasn’t clear. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:42 AM |
| 6 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNot posts but comments but yeah the irony is that the same men claiming they’ve “seen through the matrix” are spending every waking moment obsessing over women’s choices, behaviours, and validation. It’s not masculine independence it’s pick-me energy in disguise. And it’s exhausting to watch, too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:41 AM |
| 2 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesKey word some. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:38 AM |
| 6 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou’re still missing the nuance. Prioritising something doesn’t mean building your entire identity around it. That’s the line I’m drawing. You can want a relationship, work toward one, and even pursue it seriously without needing it to feel like a man or a success. Nobody’s saying become a hermit or delay relationships until you’ve achieved some mythical “monk mode” checklist. The point is: don’t treat self-worth as something you only unlock after someone else chooses you. Urgency isn’t the issu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:34 AM |
| 9 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNobody said it’s not impactful i said it shouldn’t define your entire identity. There’s a difference between valuing a relationship and building your whole sense of self around having one. De-centring doesn’t mean rejecting relationships. It means not being emotionally wrecked without one. If that sounds radical to you, maybe that’s the problem... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:32 AM |
| 5 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesFair enough. I respect the honesty. And I agree, there is strength in owning your vulnerabilities. But there’s a difference between accepting weakness and being led by it. My issue is with the mindset that treats emotional dependence as inevitable or even aspirational. It's not about pretending to be invincible but about not letting your unmet desires define your identity or worth. Especially when it leaves you open to manipulation or emotional collapse. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:29 AM |
| 6 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesNobody’s trying to erase the desire to be desired the issue is when that desire becomes need. There's a big difference between wanting connection and being defined by it. This isn’t about social engineering but about emotional stability. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:27 AM |
| 13 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesExactly. Red pill was never about male empowerment it was about male control. Strip the buzzwords and you’re left with men obsessed with dominating women, not improving themselves. That’s why de-centering women threatens them as it breaks the illusion that control equals strength. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:26 AM |
| 13 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesExactly. They swapped one form of dependence for another and called it empowerment. Still chasing women just now through bitterness instead of approval. Same trap, different packaging. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:23 AM |
| 10 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesThis is exactly what I meant by deflection. I’m talking about how red pill spaces react when men are encouraged to emotionally de-centre women and build internal strength. You responded by ranting about sentencing disparities and military recruitment issues that, while serious, have nothing to do with the original argument. You're not addressing the point you're avoiding it. And ironically, you're doing so in a way that reinforces it. Because when the topic is male emotional independence, and th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:21 AM |
| 8 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesI know it's a debate sub but I still find it concerning how against this so many people are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:19 AM |
| 6 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesWanting women isn’t the problem. Needing them to feel like a man is. You’re not wrong that sexuality is powerful but being ruled by it isn’t strength, it’s weakness. If your sense of identity hinges on access to women or porn, you’re not in control your biology is. And asking if I’m a kissless virgin (I'm not) just proves my point. You’ve tied male worth so tightly to women that the first thing you reach for in a debate is whether someone’s been kissed. Insecurity wrapped in bravado. The point i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:16 AM |
| 9 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou're confusing de-centring with abandoning. Nobody said relationships aren't important. Nobody said forming a family isn't meaningful. What I’m critiquing is the idea that a man’s entire identity, self-worth, or sense of purpose should hinge on whether or not he has a partner. Wanting a relationship is fine. Prioritising one at certain points in life is fine. But needing one to feel validated, complete, or masculine? That’s where it becomes unhealthy and that’s the state a lot of men are stuck… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:07 AM |
| 25 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYeah i’m with you on most of this. The irony is hilarious as the red pill sphere loves to posture about independence, stoicism, and being “unplugged,” but when you strip away the theatrics, what you often find is a desperate, almost compulsive obsession with women. Whether it’s trying to game them, resent them, or endlessly discuss how to be desired by them, women are still the central fixation. How is that empowerment rather than dependence with a different aesthetic. Like you said women have a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:40 AM |
| 10 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesConvenient dodge, but it doesn’t hold up. Sure, red pill and MGTOW aren't monoliths but that doesn’t mean we can’t criticise consistent patterns in the rhetoric. When the majority of responses to a message promoting male emotional independence are defensive or outright hostile, it’s not “impotent” to point that out it’s observational. If a space overwhelmingly reacts negatively to men stepping back from pedestalising women, even when the message is about self-betterment, that’s telling. Individu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:35 AM |
| 5 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesI'd avoid it if I we're you. It's really odd. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:33 AM |
| 13 | Red Pill Claims to Empower Men But Resents It When Men Truly Empower ThemselvesYou’re completely missing the point. No one is saying loneliness is empowering. No one is advocating for isolation. The idea is that your worth shouldn't be dependent on being wanted, especially by women, especially in a culture that teaches men their value only comes from external validation. It’s not “coping” to stop pedestalising women or chasing relationships as your primary goal it’s recognising that if you're not whole on your own, no relationship will fix that. That’s not retreating into … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:32 AM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenWell you’re absolutely right privilege, power, and social dominance all exist on a spectrum, and how someone experiences patriarchal norms can vary wildly depending on their environment, identity, and personal circumstances. I don’t doubt for a second that growing up in a deeply conservative, patriarchal subculture came with intense and damaging forms of conditioning. Internalised passivity, self-erasure, and being set up for control aren’t abstract ideas they’re deeply lived experiences, and I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/25 05:18 PM |
| 1 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.You're finally making my point for me even if you're trying to argue against it. Yes, most modern men and women are cherry-picking what they want from “traditional” relationships. That’s been my point from the start: when people take selective pieces of a traditional framework and ignore the corresponding responsibilities, it creates mismatched expectations. The issue isn’t just with women, and it isn’t just with men it’s with the incoherence that happens when people want old-school perks withou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/25 08:10 AM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenYou're right that there are areas where women have been and in some cases still are systemically excluded from leadership, politics, and institutional power. That’s a real and measurable legacy of patriarchal structures, and no one should be downplaying it. But I’d also argue that many of those same systems have boxed men into roles of power not as privilege, but as expectation. The pressure to lead, provide, protect, and succeed while being emotionally numb and self-sacrificing is rarely questi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/25 08:08 AM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenI appreciate your honesty. You're right that there are areas where women have been—and in some cases still are—systemically excluded from leadership, politics, and institutional power. That’s a real and measurable legacy of patriarchal structures, and no one should be downplaying it. But I’d also argue that many of those same systems have boxed men into roles of power not as privilege, but as expectation. The pressure to lead, provide, protect, and succeed—while being emotionally numb and self-s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 03:58 PM |
| 1 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.You keep repeating the same flawed point that by acknowledging some men who provide expect submission, I must also agree with that expectation. That’s a leap, not logic. Let me say it one more time: I’m not defending submission or servitude. I’m pointing out that if someone wants a traditional provider, they shouldn't be shocked when that dynamic comes with expectations that mirror the values of the person providing. That doesn’t mean those values are “correct” — it means they’re predictable. Re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 03:51 PM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenI hear you, and I respect the nuance you're bringing especially in differentiating between systemic influence and individual intent. Cultural conditioning absolutely plays a massive role in shaping gender dynamics, and I agree that a lot of it still goes unexamined, particularly when it quietly benefits those who’ve internalised it. That said, I think we still need to be cautious about how we frame “net benefit” when discussing gender. A system can be skewed in a way that seems to favour one sex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 01:32 PM |
| 1 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.You're still arguing against a version of me that only exists in your head. At no point have I argued that women should be treated like servants, grovel, or submit to disrespect. That’s your projection — not my position. Let’s make it simple: Reciprocity ≠ submission. Saying “you can’t cherry-pick tradition” isn’t code for “women must be obedient and subservient.” It means that if you invoke traditional gender roles to justify what you expect from men (like financial provision, leadership, or pr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 01:30 PM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenI appreciate the clarification and I agree, the influence of elite men at the top of power structures shouldn’t be ignored. Their preferences and behaviours do shape culture in ways that often go unchallenged, and it’s valid to question how those worldviews get reinforced. But I think it’s important to separate powerful men from everyday men. Most men don’t have access to that kind of influence or control they’re not shaping the system, they’re just trying to survive within it. And when we treat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 12:05 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: do you consider yourself a gentleman?I think the problem is that the term “gentleman” is often selectively defined usually in ways that benefit whoever’s using it. If a man expects respect, kindness, emotional maturity, and effort from a woman, is he being “a gentleman” or “entitled”? Depends who you ask. As for the date: he communicated clearly, offered to pay next time yet she was still upset because her entitlement wasn’t met, not because he was rude or disrespectful. Wanting a free meal isn’t the same as wanting a gentleman. So… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 10:31 AM |
| – | The real reason behind the male loneliness epidemic is that there are more happily single women than menThat's a bad thing and something we need to fix. A woman's presence or lack thereof shouldn't be that impactful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 10:27 AM |
| – | The real reason behind the male loneliness epidemic is that there are more happily single women than menThe epidemic isn’t about lack of sex — it’s about the fact that too many men tie their entire sense of worth to being desired by women. That kind of desperation doesn’t come from not getting laid — it comes from not knowing who you are without female validation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 10:26 AM |
| 2 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenSure most societies have historically been patriarchal. But acknowledging that doesn’t mean every outcome today is automatically in men’s favour or that modern gender dynamics are still functioning under the same rules. We’ve challenged a lot of those norms for women and rightly so but we haven’t done the same for men. Instead, we’re still holding them to outdated expectations while denying them the empathy, support, or flexibility we’ve extended elsewhere. Recognising patriarchy shouldn’t be ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 10:24 AM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenSo the argument is: “Men are suffering because women think they’re not worth the trouble”—and somehow that’s spun as a justification, not a reflection of a deeper problem? You’re not proving women “have it worse.” You’re just saying they’ve disengaged, and now men are paying the price. That’s not empowerment—that’s avoidance. And it doesn’t make men the problem by default it just shows how broken the dynamic has become for both sides. Also, citing higher anxiety or depression in married women do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 09:50 AM |
| 2 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenFair points and I agree, there are deeply ingrained norms that affect both men and women in different ways. But that’s exactly why we need to stop framing one side as the “default problem.” Saying emotionally involved dads “aren’t the norm” just reinforces the issue instead of recognising how many men are trying to break that mould often without support, encouragement, or fair treatment when things go south. The truth is, men are under immense pressure too—but those struggles don’t get the same … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 09:48 AM |
| 1 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.You're doing a lot of emotional cleanup for a point I never made. No one said nurturing = subservience, nor did I say men should be authoritarian. You're reacting to a caricature, not what I wrote. My argument isn’t that women should be silent, obedient housewives. It’s that if a woman expects a man to take on traditional burdens — paying, providing, leading — it’s not unreasonable for that man to expect something complementary in return. Not obedience, but loyalty, warmth, appreciation, or a dy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 09:46 AM |
| 3 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenYou keep repeating “women sacrifice more” like it’s a fact carved in stone, but it’s just a subjective claim propped up by selective data and emotional framing. Both men and women sacrifice just in different ways. Men give up time with their kids, work themselves into stress-related illnesses, and often walk away from divorce financially gutted and emotionally isolated. But that never gets counted. Saying one side “sacrifices more” just reinforces the same one-sided narrative I called out. You’r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 09:43 AM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenThat’s exactly the circular logic I’m calling out—"women have it worse, so their disengagement is justified, and men's suffering is just a byproduct." You’re not explaining a dynamic, you’re just rationalising imbalance. If relationships are failing because women feel they’re getting a bad deal, the solution isn’t to throw men under the bus—it’s to fix the dynamic for both sides. Otherwise, all you're doing is justifying one gender’s withdrawal while blaming the other for the fallout. That’s not… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 09:41 AM |
| 4 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenSo let me get this straight: men are suffering more because women are choosing to isolate them… and somehow that proves women have it worse? That’s not a valid argument that’s shifting blame. If women “protecting their peace” is contributing to male isolation, that’s not a moral high ground. It’s just another symptom of a broken dynamic. And throwing out that married women are more anxious or depressed doesn’t prove men are the problem—it proves modern relationships are failing both sexes. You k… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 07:11 PM |
| 4 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.You're arguing against a version of my point I never made. I didn’t say “traditional” means one fixed structure across all of history I acknowledged it varies. But in the context of modern Western dating, when people invoke traditional roles, they’re usually not referencing 1800s farmer’s wives or pre-industrial class distinctions — they’re referring to the familiar model of male provider/female nurturer, the one that still echoes in dating expectations today. That’s the framework people default… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 07:08 PM |
| 6 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.I'd say the same if I were you. Appreciate the attempt at a debate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 07:01 PM |
| 1 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenUh huh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenMaybe i am missing something. You're claiming women have it worse, then immediately cite the male loneliness epidemic as if that somehow proves your point. You can't use men's suffering to justify a one-sided narrative that ignores men's suffering. If women’s struggles are “consistently worse,” why are men the ones topping stats for loneliness, suicide, and social isolation? Why are men more likely to be homeless or die from overwork? You can’t just declare one gender’s pain more valid and then … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 03:32 PM |
| 2 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.Sure, tradition varies across time and culture but that doesn’t invalidate the point. In modern Western dating, when people refer to "traditional roles," they’re usually invoking a specific post-industrial ideal: man as provider, woman as nurturer. That’s the framework many women lean on when they expect men to pay, lead, or provide. And if that’s the framework being invoked, then yes — it’s inconsistent to expect only half of it. The point is reciprocity. If a man is expected to take on the bur… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 03:22 PM |
| 7 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.Never said it was. But denying patterns that show up repeatedly across cultures, platforms, and studies isn’t intelligence either — it’s selective ignorance. Recognising trends isn’t about feeling superior, it’s about addressing root causes instead of playing team sports with gender. If you’re serious about progress, you don’t get to ignore the parts that make your side uncomfortable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 03:17 PM |
| 6 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.It is about control — that’s the point. I don't believe the post is defending that mindset, it’s exposing the transactional logic behind it. If a woman expects a man to provide, many of those men will expect submission in return. It’s not about whether that’s right — it’s about acknowledging that dynamic instead of acting like women can demand one half of the traditional setup without the other half following. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 03:16 PM |
| 8 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenPointing out that women face difficulties doesn’t erase the ones men face. Both sexes get squeezed by modern marriage. Acknowledging that doesn’t diminish women’s struggles—it just stops the conversation from being one-sided. We're not letting you paint a one-sided victim narrative anymore. Keep trying, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 03:10 PM |
| 2 | Would men be happier if they were asexual?No I reject it. That is my way of "dealing with it". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 02:57 PM |
| 12 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.Sure. Look into studies on “benevolent sexism”, hypergamy, or even just survey data on dating preferences—like how a majority of women still prefer men to pay on first dates, despite also valuing equality. https://www.psypost.org/study-of-college-students-indicates-men-are-still-expected-to-pay-the-bill-on-first-dates https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/women/sexist-men-sex-women-attracted-relationship-benevolent-sexism-a8429061 Despite potential cost you still endorse it: https://www.res… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 11:53 AM |
| 2 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.Congrats but individual experience doesn't erase broader patterns. The post isn’t about you, it's about common dynamics seen in modern dating, particularly when traditional expectations get selectively applied. If some men are bitter or misguided, fair enough but it's disingenuous to pretend the only toxicity exists on their side. Red pill ideology deserves critique, no doubt. But ignoring the entitlement and lack of self-awareness that also exists in parts of modern womanhood just reinforces th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 11:04 AM |
| 24 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.Same reason some women with no man, no weight management, no long-term relationship, no accountability, keep telling the world how evil men are and that all they want is control. It’s easier to point fingers than reflect. Bitterness doesn’t discriminate it just finds a target that helps people avoid looking inward. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 10:24 AM |
| 1 | Women who want a provider don't seem to realise that hes gonna want something in return.Pretty much. Too many women expect men to embrace traditional male responsibilities paying for dates, providing financially, leading in the relationship but reject the idea that traditional female responsibilities might come with that package. You can’t cherry-pick tradition. If a man sees himself as a provider, he’s likely going to want reciprocity, whether that’s loyalty, support, femininity, or even deference in certain decisions. It’s basic reciprocity. People don’t invest heavily—time, mone… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 10:22 AM |
| 36 | Marriage and kids benefit men more than womenAnother one-sided narrative that ignores reality. Men don’t get some magical free ride through marriage. They’re expected to provide financially, be emotionally available, contribute to housework, and be involved dads. But if the relationship fails? They’re often stuck paying child support, lose custody, and get minimal time with their own kids. That’s not a win. And no, most men aren’t getting pampered with sex, home-cooked meals, and uninterrupted careers. That’s a fantasy. Plenty of men work … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 08:39 AM |
| 18 | Why do men think its unfair that they have to pay for their kids?You're arguing against a caricature, not a real stance. Most men don’t have a problem supporting their children what they do have a problem with is how the system often turns child support into a punishment, not a fair arrangement. Many fathers do want to be involved, emotionally and financially. But when courts automatically assume the mother gets custody and slap the father with a financial obligation without equal parenting rights, it feels less like "supporting your child" and more like bein… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 08:32 AM |
| – | Men’s sexual desire has been socially castratedI think you’ve got it backwards. Male sexuality hasn’t been socially castrated it’s been overexposed, exaggerated, and reduced to a stereotype so predictable that it becomes easy to control. From early on, men are bombarded with the idea that they’re supposed to be constantly horny, constantly chasing, and constantly proving their worth to women. That doesn’t empower us—it traps us. It turns us into cartoon characters: thirsty, sex-obsessed, and one-dimensional. And once you’re boxed into that i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 08:16 AM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsYeah, totally agree that expectations especially when shaped by media, religious ideals, or cultural pressure—can really distort how people think sex will feel. And in a lot of cases, the experience doesn’t live up to the hype, which can lead to disillusionment or even regret. That’s especially true when someone’s self-worth is tied to the idea of “losing virginity” rather than building genuine intimacy. That said, I think that actually reinforces the point: if someone does have a meaningful or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 09:14 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsI think you nailed it—there’s no universal answer because it depends on the person, the context, the quality of what was experienced (or not), and how they process absence, desire, or loss. I just think these conversations get more interesting when we let go of the idea that one experience must be inherently worse than the other. There are layers of emotional pain that show up differently for everyone—some more existential, some more physical, some more rooted in identity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 07:09 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsYeah, that definitely makes sense. I think we’re mostly talking about slightly different things. You’re speaking from the perspective of someone in a deep, committed partnership, and I totally get that—if that were lost, the biggest void wouldn’t just be sex, but everything else that made the relationship meaningful. Emotional closeness, daily routines, shared history—that's irreplaceable in ways physical intimacy often isn’t. My post, though, was zoomed in more narrowly on how long-term sexual … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:51 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsI don’t disagree that a lot of male virgins struggle with feelings of inadequacy and frustration—it’s a real issue. Social messaging constantly ties a man’s worth to sexual success, and that pressure builds over time, especially in a culture that mocks male virginity more than it does female. But that’s kind of the point I was trying to explore: both situations can mess with your head in different ways. Yes, being a virgin can damage self-esteem if you internalise the idea that you’re unworthy. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:36 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsI think that frustration is real and valid. The post wasn’t meant to downplay that experience, just to point out that there’s also a unique kind of struggle that comes from having had intimacy and losing access to it. It turns desire into longing, and that contrast—between past and present—can feel like a void some people can’t stop comparing everything else to. But you’re right: never having had it at all creates its own type of suffering, especially when the world keeps showing you what you’re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:34 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsThat contrast is kind of what I was getting at: it’s not that one is objectively harder, but that the type of struggle changes. One is more rooted in identity and self-worth, the other in longing and deprivation. Both can be difficult, just in different ways. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:33 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsTotally fair, and I think your experience reflects one of the other possibilities I mentioned—where someone has sex, realises it’s not some mind-blowing mystical thing, and actually finds relief in demystifying it. That can definitely make long-term abstinence easier afterward, especially if it also boosts self-esteem. But I’d argue that not everyone has that trajectory. For some, intimacy is deeply fulfilling—emotionally, physically, even spiritually. So when they lose access to it, it creates … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:30 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsIt’s not that someone who’s never had a “house” (intimacy) likes being homeless (abstinent), but rather that they might not feel the loss in the same acute, emotional way because they don’t have a lived reference point. They might still want a house, feel societal pressure to get one, or feel cold at night—but it’s different from someone who once had a warm, stable home and now feels every gust of wind because they know what they’re missing. So the idea isn’t that virgins are chill and content, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:29 PM |
| – | Why long-term abstinence might be harder for non-virgins than virginsFair enough, and I get that this might not feel like a relevant question if you’re in a happy relationship now. But this post isn’t about comparing who’s "suffering more" in some kind of victim competition—it’s about challenging a common assumption. Culturally, people often treat virginity as this inherently tragic state, and I’m just pointing out that long-term abstinence might also be deeply difficult for someone who once had great intimacy and then lost access to it. You touched on that yours… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Why are men so much harsher on weight than women?"have to" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 04:12 PM |
| 23 | What do men mean when they say they love deeper than women?When some men say they “love deeper,” they usually mean that when they fall, they fall hard. Many men are taught to suppress emotions from a young age, so when they finally allow themselves to be vulnerable, it can feel intense, rare, and consuming. That doesn’t mean it’s better or worse than how women love just different. But that difference is often misunderstood or dismissed. You're also mixing real problems (like emotional immaturity or shallow behaviour) with the idea that this is somehow h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 04:01 PM |
| 7 | Lowering women's self-esteem won't make them choose better, but the inverseYep this is a needed perspective especially in spaces where victim-blaming gets passed off as “tough love.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 03:59 PM |
| 1 | Would you date a trans woman that passes well?Honestly, yeah—I would. Just to be clear, I’m working on myself so that women, dating, or relationships don’t feel like a life requirement, or something I’d feel empty without. Celibacy, singledom—those aren’t things I want to fear like a lot of guys do. But still, beggars can’t be choosers. If someone genuinely liked me and had the kind of qualities people usually look for in a partner, I’d be fully open to it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 09:18 AM |
| 5 | What responsibility should men and women have respectively?Unfortunately, red pill men like OP are usually the cause of this confusion. I've said this before, but red pill ideology will only cause us men to further regress than we already have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 09:13 AM |
| 4 | What responsibility should men and women have respectively?Right. Weirdly enough men want the same. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 08:58 AM |
| -3 | What responsibility should men and women have respectively?Ideally yes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 08:57 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleTotally agree real life effort can definitely still go nowhere. But the difference is, in real life, you’re not competing with a thousand other guys at once, reduced to a profile photo. Dating apps don’t just reflect selectivity—they supercharge it. And that’s what turns a normal challenge into a rigged, exhausting grind. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 05:44 AM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYeah, I think you're right to zoom out. Dating apps aren’t the root cause—they're just one of the clearest symptoms of a much deeper imbalance. There’s a cultural double standard in how men’s struggles—whether in dating, mental health, or even education—are treated, and you're right, that lack of empathy bleeds into every space. What I’m doing here is focusing specifically on dating apps because it’s the most concentrated, hyper-visible example of that dynamic. You’ve got a system that feeds off… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 05:43 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYeah, playing the looks-first game is a losing strategy for most men. Dating apps reduce everything down to appearance, and in that environment, women have way more leverage—both in dating and even monetization. But that’s exactly why the smartest move isn’t to try to “compete” in a rigged system—it’s to step away from it entirely. Build a life that doesn’t rely on constant validation or chasing attention in a space where the deck’s stacked against you. You don’t win the game by playing harder. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 05:42 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleSure, people are still partnering up overall but that doesn’t mean the process hasn’t gotten worse or more lopsided for the average user, especially men. The fact that marriage rates haven’t dropped drastically doesn’t mean dating apps are healthy or sustainable—it just means some people are still figuring it out, often in spite of the system, not because of it. The real issue is distribution. A small percentage of users—often the most attractive—get the majority of the attention and success, wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 05:40 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI get it—seeing attractive people first feels good in the moment. That’s the hook. But the long-term effect isn’t a better experience—it’s more swiping, more chasing, and more frustration when it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not about helping you connect—it’s about keeping you engaged just long enough to get you to pay for more visibility or more chances. The “experience” it’s improving is the one that leads to profit, not better outcomes for male users. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 05:38 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleSure, men choose to join these apps. But once they’re in, the system promotes scarcity by how it’s designed. The algorithms push the most attractive profiles to the top, leaving most guys with almost no visibility. Add in skewed gender ratios, where there are way more men than women, and you’ve got a setup where most men are competing for a tiny slice of attention. That’s not a coincidence—it’s how the apps keep guys swiping, hoping for a match, and eventually paying for boosts or premium featur… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:18 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYou’re right—women face a different set of challenges on these apps. Sorting through low-effort messages, bad actors, and guys with bad intentions is exhausting, no doubt. I’m not downplaying that at all. But the struggles are different. Women are filtering through too much attention, while a lot of men are dealing with almost none. Scarcity hits guys in a way that leaves many completely sidelined—zero matches, zero conversations, zero chances. And that scarcity fuels the same frustration that m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:10 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI’d agree—false hope keeps a lot of guys stuck. But recognizing a dead-end system for what it is and choosing not to waste your energy on it isn’t a lack of motivation. It’s clarity. Stepping away from a rigged game isn’t quitting. It’s freeing up your energy to build something better, on your own terms. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:09 AM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleAgreed. Needing a relationship to feel whole is exactly what keeps people stuck in the game. The real win is building a life where you don’t need it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:07 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleExactly. You’d think it’s obvious, but a lot of guys are still stuck thinking they just need to “try harder” or “level up” to get different results. They don’t realize the system wants them frustrated and stuck. And yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if the pricing and boosts are dynamically tailored to squeeze as much as possible out of each user. It’s a business model built on loneliness, and they’ve perfected it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:04 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleDating apps take that struggle and crank it up to an extreme. In real life, effort eventually leads to connection. On apps, a lot of guys can grind endlessly and still get nowhere because the system is designed to keep them stuck chasing validation that rarely comes. There’s struggling and then there’s wasting your time in a rigged game. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:02 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleAttractiveness has always mattered. No argument there. But in real life, guys have more to work with—personality, social circles, shared experiences. You’re not reduced to a few photos and a bio. Dating apps strip all of that away and make it a looks-first numbers game. So while some guys struggle both online and offline, a lot of men who do fine in person get completely overlooked on apps. That’s not because they’re “broken”—it’s because the system reduces everyone to the shallowest version of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 08:00 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleNo one’s denying there are biological differences. Men and women have always approached sex and relationships differently. But those differences were a lot more manageable when people met through community, social circles, and shared experiences. Dating apps amplify those differences into a lopsided, hyper-competitive mess where most men are left out and the top few get everything. That’s not just “nature”—that’s a system designed to exploit human instincts and turn frustration into profit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:58 AM |
| 5 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYou’re right—shrinking social circles and the loss of third spaces are a huge part of the problem. But dating apps didn’t fill that gap in a meaningful way. They replaced deeper, more organic interactions with a shallow, swipe-based system that reduces people to quick judgments. For a lot of guys, apps are the fallback when those third spaces disappear. And instead of recreating the depth those spaces offered, the apps turn it into a numbers game—one where most men lose. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:53 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI get that, and you’re probably right that a lot of people are burning out on the current apps. The numbers dropping reflect that. But the core problem isn’t the apps themselves—it’s the business model. If something new comes along, odds are it’ll have similar incentives: keep people engaged, frustrated, and spending. That’s where the money is. And yeah, people eventually catch on when a product doesn’t deliver. But when it comes to dating, desperation keeps a lot of people in the loop longer th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:51 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleThank you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:49 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYeah, exactly. The apps reflect human behaviour, but they crank it up in a way that makes everything more extreme and more dysfunctional. It’s human nature, but weaponized for profit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:49 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleNot just by existing but by the way they’re designed. Dating apps scale things up massively. In real life, you might meet a few new people through friends, work, or hobbies. On apps, women are suddenly getting attention from hundreds or thousands of guys at once. That flood of options makes them way more selective, and the pool of men competing for their attention gets way more crowded. The apps also strip away everything that makes real-life connection easier for the average guy personality, so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:48 AM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYou’re right—the top women get pushed to the front too. But it’s not to “improve” the experience; it’s to maximize engagement. Showing the most attractive profiles early keeps people swiping, hoping for more. Bumble, Tinder, Hinge—they each have different strategies, but it all boils down to the same thing: keep you in the loop long enough to get frustrated enough to pay for boosts or premium features. And yeah, the gender ratio is a huge part of the problem. With 4-5x more men on these apps, wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 07:47 AM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIt’s not about expecting the app to hold your hand or “nurture” a relationship. It’s about recognising that the design of the platform influences how people behave. When an app is built around quick decisions and endless options, it encourages people to treat interactions as disposable. That affects both men and women—but men tend to pay the bigger price in that setup. I’m not saying the app should be responsible for your connection. I’m saying the environment it creates makes meaningful connect… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIt’s not about being “too dumb” or lacking motivation. It’s about understanding that the system is designed to waste your time and energy, no matter how much you “improve.” Plenty of guys are grinding hard and still getting nowhere because the deck’s stacked. The smarter move isn’t to try harder in a rigged game—it’s to walk away from it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 07:08 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI don’t think you can fix it—not in a way that keeps the apps profitable. The imbalance is the business model. Scarcity and frustration are what keep people engaged and spending. There’s no financial incentive for these platforms to level the playing field. That’s why I’m not offering solutions to fix dating apps. This post isn’t about reform—it’s a warning. The smart move is to recognize the game for what it is and decide if you even want to keep playing. For a lot of guys, the better choice is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 07:07 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleA lot of guys think they know, but they’re still stuck hoping things will turn around if they just try harder. That’s why it’s worth spelling out clearly. Sometimes you need the reality laid out in front of you before you can really make the choice to step away. Knowing and accepting are two different things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 07:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI agree—the problem runs deeper than just dating apps. Social media, movies, and the culture at large push this fantasy that everyone deserves love, constant validation, and a perfect life. And when people don’t get it, they feel like they’re failing. That pressure hits everyone. But dating apps take that existing pressure and turn it into a business model. For men especially, they exploit scarcity in a way that keeps them stuck chasing scraps. Sure, women are impacted too, but often in the oppo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:58 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleUnfortunately | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:57 PM |
| 4 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI’m not saying it’s “problematic” for women to be selective—that’s normal human behaviour. The issue is how dating apps amplify that dynamic. In real life, women might be selective too, but they’re choosing from a much smaller, more realistic pool of people they know or meet through social circles. On apps, they’re barraged with endless options, and that cranks hyper-selectivity up to an extreme. Same thing on the men’s side. Guys swipe on everyone because they’re stuck in a system where getting… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIt’s not self-imposed—it’s self-perpetuating. There’s a difference. Men are reacting to a system that creates scarcity and hyper-competition, and those reactions feed back into the cycle. That doesn’t mean men created the system or are the sole reason it works the way it does. The platforms are designed to exploit predictable human behavior—for both men and women—because it keeps people engaged and spending. And like I said, this isn’t about minimising anyone’s behavior. It’s about recognizing t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:56 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleSure, women can be great communicators—no argument there. But on dating apps, the dynamic is different. Most women don’t need to carry the conversation because they have more options and less incentive to invest heavily in any one chat. It’s not about communication skills; it’s about supply and demand. If you’ve got tons of options, the effort just isn’t necessary. That’s what plays out in practice for a lot of guys. And yeah, the apps are designed to make matches but that’s not the same as fost… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:55 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIt’s not about blaming women or society—it’s about understanding the system men are engaging with. Yeah, men join dating apps in huge numbers, often out of necessity because other options have dried up for a lot of guys. But the design of these apps amplifies that imbalance. More men join, women become more selective, and the cycle feeds itself. The platforms profit from that dynamic, not from fixing it. And no one’s saying the top 20% of men each have four girlfriends. What’s being pointed out … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:53 PM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI’m not claiming to speak for all men. I’m pointing out patterns that a lot of men experience on these platforms and there’s plenty of data to back it up. Studies have shown that women on dating apps tend to focus their attention on a small percentage of men. Apps like Tinder have been analyzed, showing how the top 10-20% of guys get the vast majority of likes and matches. That creates a huge imbalance by design. And yeah, pay-to-play features give you a boost but that’s part of the same system.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:45 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleNo doubt, self-improvement and lifestyle changes can make a big difference—especially when you’re consistent with it over time. A lot of guys would benefit from focusing on that rather than chasing quick fixes. But I think it’s also important to be real about the fact that not everyone is going to break through, even if they “do the work.” Dating apps (and modern dating in general) stack the odds against a lot of men in ways that weren’t as intense 20 or 30 years ago. Sure, some guys grind their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:43 PM |
| 3 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.Well said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleThe behaviour is a reaction to the system. Men are stuck in a rigged game designed to create scarcity and frustration, and they act predictably because of it. You can keep blaming men all day, but that doesn’t change the fact that the system profits off keeping them stuck in that cycle. And no, I’m not offering a solution because I don’t think there is one. This post isn’t about fixing dating apps. It’s a warning. The game is what it is, and it’s not going to change because there’s no profit in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:23 PM |
| 4 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.If more people did what you did—taking initiative and setting the tone—it would probably make things better for everyone. But I think you’re the exception, not the rule. A lot of women just don’t need to take that extra step because they’re already getting plenty of options without putting in much effort. The system makes it easy to be passive, and if it’s working for them, most aren’t going to change their strategy. That’s the core of the imbalance—it’s not that women can’t take the lead, it’s … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:13 PM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI totally get that—that’s your experience, and I’m not here to discredit it. But on a broader scale, this is how it plays out for a lot of men. The system tends to favour a small percentage of guys who get the majority of attention, while a lot of others end up stuck with little to no results. That imbalance isn’t just anecdotal—it’s backed by data and built into how these apps work. It keeps people engaged and spending, which is exactly what the platforms want. I’m glad it worked differently fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:10 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI’m glad it worked out for you—seriously. Some people do find success on dating apps. But the fact that a majority of couples who meet online do so through apps doesn’t mean the system works fairly for a lot of men. Dating apps tend to favour a small percentage of men, while a lot of others are left competing for limited attention. Sure, the system works for some but a lot of guys are stuck spending time, money, and effort with very little return. That’s really the point here. It’s not that all … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:08 PM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleAppreciate that. And yeah, dating today is brutal—for most people. Glad you’re past it. More guys need to realise they don’t have to keep grinding it out hence this post. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:04 PM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI’m not saying every guy is a great conversationalist—far from it. But on a larger scale, the pattern is pretty clear: women typically initiate less beyond the first message, and a lot of guys end up doing the heavy lifting to keep the chat going. That’s not just my belief—it’s how the dynamic plays out for most people on these apps. As for the design—sure, you can move the convo off the app, but the platform itself isn’t built to encourage deep connections. It’s built around quick swipes and vo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIt’s not either/or—it’s both. Men’s behaviour plays a role, but that behaviour happens because of the environment they’re reacting to. Put people in a system designed around scarcity and hyper-competition, and they’ll act predictably. That’s human nature. The apps don’t have to be “sinister.” They just need to create the right conditions and let the incentives do the work. And when that imbalance makes them money, there’s no reason to change it. That’s the whole point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:02 PM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleTrue, this kind of exploitation happens everywhere—social media, gaming, whatever. But dating apps hit differently because they’re messing with something way more personal: people’s need for connection, intimacy, and validation. For men, especially, it turns a basic human desire into a rigged game that feeds off frustration and loneliness. It’s not hidden, I agree. It’s right in front of us. But a lot of guys still don’t realize how the system is set up to keep them stuck. That’s why it’s worth … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:01 PM |
| 6 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleNo doubt, effort makes a difference. But we also have to be honest about the numbers. Not everyone can be in the top 10-20% that gets the majority of attention on these apps, no matter how much they “improve” themselves. There’s always going to be a large group of guys left competing for what’s left, because that’s how the system stays profitable. It’s not about men must lose but most are set up to. And knowing that helps guys make smarter choices about where to put their time and energy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 06:00 PM |
| 5 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.That’s fair—cultural context makes a big difference. Some places definitely have more balanced dynamics when it comes to who initiates. But on a broader scale, especially in Western countries like the US or UK, the burden of initiating still mostly falls on men, both online and offline. The key thing is, no matter where you are, the general trend is that men tend to have fewer opportunities handed to them passively. Whether it’s cultural norms, social expectations, or dating app algorithms, the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:58 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleFair enough—your experience is valid. But zooming out, most men are expected to carry the conversation. An icebreaker is a start, sure, but a lot of women treat it like ticking a box. After that, it’s often on the guy to keep things flowing or the conversation dies. It’s not about blame—it’s just how the dynamic usually plays out, and the apps don’t do much to encourage real back-and-forth. They’re designed to keep people swiping, not having deeper conversations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:56 PM |
| 4 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleExactly. And that’s the point. Stepping away is the best move—but a lot of guys don’t realise why they’re losing, so they stay stuck thinking it’s a “them” problem instead of seeing the bigger picture. Once you get it, you can walk away and focus on building something better for yourself. Good luck to you too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:55 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StrugglePaying doesn’t change the game—it just gives you a slightly better seat at the same broken table. The core problem is still there: lopsided ratios, hyper-selectivity, and a system that profits off frustration. Whether it’s free or premium, they make money by keeping men stuck in the cycle. Spending more just delays the inevitable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:54 PM |
| 5 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleVisibility and algorithms. The apps push the top 10-20% of guys to the front of women’s feeds. So if you’re not in that group, your profile gets buried, and your chances drop off hard. That’s not accidental—it’s what keeps the most desirable profiles getting all the attention, while the rest are left swiping endlessly for scraps. Swiping behaviour. Women are already way more selective—nothing new there. But on these apps, that gets cranked up because they’re flooded with options. Meanwhile, guys… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:53 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleExactly. And when everything’s boiled down to superficial decisions, most men lose out—fast. That’s where the frustration kicks in, and that’s what the apps are built to exploit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:49 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYou’re thinking about this as if the system has to know exactly what works for each person. It doesn’t. It just has to create conditions that lead to predictable behaviour—scarcity, competition, and frustration. Dating apps don’t need an algorithm that understands love; they need one that keeps people swiping. And scarcity keeps men engaged and spending. That’s the design—whether intentional or just a product of profit incentives. As for “balance” or “fairness,” it’s not about forcing outcomes. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleThey always have—agreed. The difference is now it’s industrialized, automated, and pumped through algorithms designed to keep men hooked 24/7. Selling thirst isn’t new. Turning it into a billion-dollar machine that farms attention and frustration on this scale? That’s the upgrade. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:42 PM |
| 5 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleNo one’s denying that women are selective or that not every guy is going to make the cut. That’s always been true. What we’re talking about is how dating apps amplify that dynamic into something far more extreme. In real life, people connect through shared experiences, social circles, and personality—things that don’t show up in a swipe. Apps strip all that away and leave men competing in a system where they’re reduced to a few photos and a bio. The imbalance gets exaggerated, and the platforms … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:41 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleAgreed. Dating apps are one of the least efficient ways for men to meet women, and the return on investment is terrible for most guys. But it’s not just about "game"—the system itself is rigged to keep men stuck in low-reward loops, no matter how much they level up. The smartest move is realizing the game is trash and stepping away entirely. There’s more to life than grinding for scraps on a broken system. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:40 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYeah, 100%. It’s the same playbook—recurring frustration creates recurring customers. Whether it’s dating apps, smartphones, or any other product, the goal isn’t to solve your problem. It’s to keep you stuck in a cycle where you keep coming back. The difference with dating apps is how specifically they exploit male scarcity and frustration. That’s their most reliable revenue stream. So while the principle is the same, the outcome for men in this space is uniquely brutal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 05:38 PM |
| 5 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.But that’s kind of the point—the system already is bad for men, and it’s designed in a way that maximizes profit from their struggle. Saying “there’s nothing inherently wrong” ignores how these apps exploit the dynamic. They rely on an imbalance where men massively outnumber women, creating hyper-competition that burns men out, keeps them swiping, and pressures them to pay for boosts or premium features just to get seen. That’s not just “high competition,” that’s an intentional business model bu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:37 PM |
| 2 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.Just made a post on this. Fully agree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:33 PM |
| 5 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.Women do get the most out of dating apps in terms of options, attention, and access to high-calibre men but that doesn’t automatically translate to satisfaction. Having a lot of options doesn’t always lead to better outcomes. In fact, it can make dating more frustrating. Think about it: constant attention can be overwhelming, most of the messages they get are low effort, and even when they match with someone they’re interested in, a lot of those guys are only after something casual. So they end … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:32 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleOf course they were. But back then, they weren’t being herded into an algorithm that profits off their desperation and turns it into a business model. That’s the difference. The scale and exploitation are on another level now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:25 PM |
| 17 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.The point is, women are still being approached and pursued by men in real life whether it’s at work, social events, hobbies, or just out and about. Men are still doing the majority of initiating both online and offline, which gives women more avenues to meet potential partners. Meanwhile, a lot of men aren’t getting approached at all, either in person or online, unless they take the initiative. And when cold approaches are often frowned upon or seen as risky, and social circles are smaller, that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:24 PM |
| 7 | Gen Z seem to be low-key allergic to accountabilityThis is something I see a lot on this sub. Good points, but the delivery holds them back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:18 PM |
| 1 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.Yep it’s conditioning, plain and simple. From an early age, boys are taught that their worth is tied to whether they can attract women or be seen as desirable. Success in dating becomes a benchmark for their value as a man, and when you tie self-worth to romantic validation, it creates a cycle where men are the ones constantly chasing. And honestly, that conditioning is what keeps the whole system running. If men didn’t feel that pressure, a lot of the motivation to participate in modern dating—… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:12 PM |
| 15 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.That’s actually not surprising when you think about it. More men use dating apps because they have fewer and fewer alternatives. The traditional ways of meeting people—through social circles, hobbies, work—have shrunk for a lot of men, and cold approaching in public is often seen as creepy or inappropriate now. Apps might be a losing game, but for a lot of guys, they feel like the only game left. Women, on the other hand, tend to have a broader range of opportunities to meet potential partners b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:08 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIt’s not about excusing bad behavior—men should take responsibility for how they act, no question. But when a system is designed to create desperation and frustration, you’re going to get predictable outcomes. That’s not a morality issue; it’s just how people react under scarcity and constant rejection. The app doesn’t need to “fix” men’s behaviour—it needs to stop profiting from the dysfunction it engineers. But it won’t, because there’s no money in balance or fairness. There’s money in keeping… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 03:03 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleTrue, dating apps suck for everyone in different ways—but the system is especially brutal on men. The apps are designed to milk male frustration because that’s where the money is. So yeah, the best move is stepping away—but guys need to understand why they’re losing before they can make a better choice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleTrue. The apps exploit it. They take existing dynamics and crank them up to extremes because that’s what keeps people hooked—and paying. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 02:57 PM |
| 9 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleIf every man suddenly swiped selectively, it might slow things down for a while but it wouldn’t fix the core problem. The apps need imbalance to stay profitable. If men swiped less, the platforms would just tweak the algorithm to keep engagement (and frustration) high. That’s the business model. And sure, men flooding women with likes plays a role, but that behaviour isn’t happening in a vacuum. It’s a reaction to a system where men get so little attention that spamming likes feels like the only… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 01:09 PM |
| 6 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleThat’s part of it, sure. There’s often a skewed gender ratio on these apps, and some women avoid them because of negative experiences. But that’s also because the system sets things up to fail. When you flood apps with desperate, frustrated men competing for a shrinking pool of active women, you get low-effort messages, spam, and bad behavior. It’s a cycle the app profits from, not something it’s trying to fix. At the end of the day, the platform makes money whether the experience is good or bad… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 01:08 PM |
| 6 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleWomen are playing their side of the game, just like men are. But they didn’t build the house, and they don’t run it. The system profits off both sides behaving predictably. Women get dopamine from attention, men get dopamine from hope, and the house cashes in on both. If you focus all your energy on blaming women, you’re stuck playing a rigged game without understanding why. The only one who wins is the house. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 01:07 PM |
| 7 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleExactly. The apps are running exactly how they’re supposed to—they don’t need fixing from a business standpoint. And yeah, the bigger issue is society’s shift away from organic connection. Hard to see anyone stepping in to fix that anytime soon. Just makes it more important for people to opt out of the game when they can. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 01:06 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYeah, dating apps are a business first and foremost—that’s the entire point. And businesses maximize profit by keeping people engaged, which in this case means engineering scarcity for men and choice overload for women. It’s not some grand conspiracy, just basic incentive structures. But the outcome is the same: men struggle, women get overwhelmed, and the app makes money off both. And sure, if most men had endless options, they’d probably act similarly. But they don’t—because the system is desi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 01:05 PM |
| 4 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleI get the logic behind government stepping in, and Japan’s example does show there’s some potential for that. But the issue is, governments tend to be slow, bureaucratic, and rarely ahead of the curve on stuff like this. Even if they did create a state-backed app, getting people to want to use it is another challenge entirely—especially when most people are already conditioned by the swiping/dopamine cycle. I agree something needs to shift. Whether that comes from government action, new platform… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 01:01 PM |
| 4 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleNah, the problem isn’t “women.” Blaming women as a group misses the entire point. The problem is the system. It’s designed to exploit both men and women in different ways. Women get bombarded with attention, which makes them more selective, while men get starved for it, which keeps them swiping and paying. That dynamic keeps the app alive—no conspiracy needed. Just profit incentives doing what they do. If you think it’s all just women being the problem, you’re not seeing the bigger picture. The … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 12:52 PM |
| 4 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleFair points, and I’m not denying that dating has always had its challenges—there’s nothing new about rejection or frustration. What is different now is the scale and intensity. Dating apps take dynamics that were always there (like hypergamy or selectivity) and dial them up in a way that makes the experience far more brutal for the average guy. In the past, social circles, proximity, and community gave people more realistic chances to connect. Now it’s a global marketplace where the top few men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleCouldn’t agree more. What was supposed to bring people closer has ended up isolating them even more—especially when it comes to dating. Feels like we traded connection for convenience, and we’re all worse off for it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 12:50 PM |
| 3 | Dating Apps Will Never "Fix" Themselves—They’re Built to Make Sure Men StruggleYou’re right—there’s no magic formula for matching people. But dating apps aren’t failing because they can’t predict romantic success. They’re designed to keep men trying, not necessarily succeeding. It’s not about withholding some perfect match from you. It’s about creating an environment where most men compete for the attention of a few women, making meaningful connections feel scarce. Scarcity keeps people engaged, frustrated, and willing to pay for boosts, super likes, and premium features. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 12:49 PM |
| 2 | Would men be happier if they were asexual?Very well said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 09:53 AM |
| 3 | Would men be happier if they were asexual?And we need to overcome that and not fall victim to it like millions have and do.... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 09:52 AM |
| 13 | Would men be happier if they were asexual?We would 100% be happier, no question about it. Most of the stress, disappointment, and frustration men experience in life comes from chasing validation and intimacy from women—whether it's sex, relationships, or even just attention. If that drive disappeared, men could fully focus on themselves, their goals, and their happiness without that constant, gnawing sense of need. Think about it: wars have been fought, empires built, and lives destroyed over the need for sex or validation from women. S… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 09:51 AM |
| 4 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re dodging the point by reframing the argument as if it’s about whether people date exclusively for survival. It’s not. It’s about what happens when survival ends up dependent on a relationship whether by choice or circumstance. That’s the risk I’m highlighting, and OP’s post romanticizes that dynamic as a core advantage women have. You’re also downplaying the issue by saying it’s "rare" or "just vulnerability." Vulnerability is exactly the point. Dependence creates leverage for the person w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 08:08 PM |
| 3 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re reframing my argument into something I’m not saying to make your point easier to defend. I never said there’s no benefit to having someone who can help you. That’s a strawman. Of course support from a partner can be a good thing—that’s common sense. What I’m pointing out is the risk that comes when survival depends on that support. That’s a different scenario than “my partner helps out with bills for a while.” That’s "I can’t sustain myself without them," and it creates a massive imbalanc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 06:23 PM |
| 7 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re framing it like an “extra gift bag,” but you’re ignoring what’s inside it and the fine print that comes with taking it. Yeah, having the option to rely on someone for security can be comforting in the short term. But the reality is, relying on another person for basic survival comes with a price. That “gift bag” often includes loss of autonomy, reduced leverage, increased vulnerability, and in many cases, long-term dependence that’s hard to break free from. And the fact that it’s not the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 05:22 PM |
| 5 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re completely misrepresenting my point. No one said romantic relationships should exist in some vacuum of pure emotion with no practical considerations. That’s not realistic, and it’s not what I’m arguing. There’s a clear difference between mutual interdependence, where both people contribute and support each other from a position of stability, and one-sided dependence, where one person’s survival relies entirely on the other. You’re blurring those lines to make it sound like I’m arguing aga… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 05:20 PM |
| 3 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re focusing on edge cases and emotional appeals instead of addressing the core argument. It doesn’t matter whether someone intends to rely on a relationship or it “just happens.” The result is the same: their survival becomes dependent on another person’s continued willingness to support them. That’s a vulnerable position, whether it’s temporary or not. And yes, plenty of people do end up in situations where “temporary” turns into long-term dependence—sometimes by choice, sometimes because t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 05:18 PM |
| 3 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.No one’s arguing against human cooperation, social groups, or alliances. That’s not the point. What I’m talking about is relying on a single romantic relationship for your survival and upward mobility. That’s not the same as being part of a union, a team, or a social network where risk and responsibility are distributed. In those situations, you have options. You have leverage. You’re not betting your entire stability on one person’s continued willingness to support you. The “lone wolf” argument… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 04:59 PM |
| 9 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.Housemates splitting rent is a practical arrangement, and no one is emotionally or legally entangled in a way that creates dependency. If one leaves, you find another. That’s not personal, and it doesn’t collapse your entire support system when it happens. That’s the difference. But a romantic relationship is not the same thing as a housemate agreement. When your partner is both your emotional support and your financial lifeline, it’s not just a “practical arrangement.” You’re tying your stabili… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 03:31 PM |
| 5 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.I didn’t “immediately assume” anything—OP framed relationships as a means to secure basic needs like housing and stability. When someone says, “A relationship can get you a place to stay and provide security,” they’re not talking about casual help. That’s describing a dynamic where survival depends on access to a relationship. That’s dependence by definition. I’m not making all access to help out to be dependence. What I’m saying is that when survival depends on someone else providing for your b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 03:15 PM |
| 10 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.There’s a difference between mutual support during tough times and structuring your entire survival around another person. What you described—two people sharing rent because the economy sucks—is a practical living arrangement. That’s not the issue. The problem is when someone treats a romantic relationship as their plan for security. When you’re dependent on a partner by design because you don’t have the means to support yourself, you’re vulnerable in a way that cooperation between equals doesn’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 02:54 PM |
| 5 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re conflating help with dependence, and they’re not the same thing. Accepting help from a partner when you’re down isn’t the issue. That’s normal, healthy interdependence. What I’m talking about is building your entire survival strategy around a relationship—treating a partner as the primary source of security, stability, and financial survival. That’s not “getting help.” That’s dependence. And it’s a terrible foundation. No one’s saying it’s bad to receive support from someone who cares abo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 01:28 PM |
| 11 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.Sure, some people "marry up." And some people win the lottery. That doesn’t make it a strategy worth building your life around. Basing your survival or upward mobility on securing a relationship—especially in today’s world—is one of the riskiest moves you can make. People change. Relationships end. Marriages fail. If you’re relying on someone else to level up your life, you’re dependent on their continued willingness to keep you there. Real stability comes from what YOU build, not from what some… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 01:24 PM |
| 11 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.Nobody’s arguing for absolute isolation. Autonomy doesn’t mean you live in a cave with no human contact. It means you don’t tie your survival—your housing, your finances, your emotional stability—to one person or one relationship. It means you have options. You have leverage. You can walk away from situations that don’t serve you without losing everything in the process. That’s autonomy in a practical, real-world sense. And it’s a hell of a lot better than betting your entire life on one person’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 12:04 PM |
| 11 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You keep pushing this idea that dependence is inevitable. It’s not. It’s just the lens you’re choosing to see the world through. There’s a difference between interdependence—where two independent people choose to rely on each other—and outright dependence, where you’ve handed over your ability to survive to someone else. What you’re describing isn’t strength. It’s a gamble that the person you’ve made yourself dependent on won’t screw you over. And when they do, you lose everything. I’m not argui… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 11:21 AM |
| 15 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You’re framing dependence as inevitable, but the difference is control. Relying on a boss or a client for income is a transaction. You understand the terms, and you can walk away, renegotiate, or find other opportunities. It's a professional exchange, not a personal one. And you can diversify your income streams, build skills, and reduce dependence over time. But relying on a romantic partner—especially for basic survival—is a completely different gamble. You’re mixing emotions, legal commitment… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 09:58 AM |
| 18 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.Exactly this. It’s wild how disconnected some of these takes are from reality. Arguing that dating and relationships are the most important thing, more important than basic security like housing, food, and financial stability, shows how warped mens priorities can get when they overvalue female validation. If you’ve ever faced real survival struggles—poverty, homelessness, food insecurity—you realise very quickly that relationships aren’t at the top of the list. Survival is. Stability is. And onc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 09:31 AM |
| 45 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.That’s exactly the kind of thinking that highlights why men overvalue relationships in the first place. You’re suggesting that even basic needs like shelter and security can be outsourced to a romantic relationship, as if the solution to survival is finding someone to take care of you. That’s not a strength—that’s dependence. Relying on a romantic partner for your baseline security isn’t just risky, it’s a terrible long-term strategy. The second that relationship ends or if it’s abusive, unhealt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 09:28 AM |
| 11 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.You're making the mistake of assuming that because you think relationships are the most important thing, that’s a universal truth. It isn’t. That’s a belief you hold, not an objective fact. A lot of men overvalue relationships and women because they’ve been conditioned to. They've been told their worth is measured by whether or not they’re wanted by women. But framing romantic relationships as the most important measure of success in life is exactly why so many men are miserable. You talk like w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 09:26 AM |
| 1 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"Fair points. I’m not dismissing the research that shows potential structural or neurological differences—that’s definitely part of the conversation. But I think we have to be careful not to over-attribute social outcomes to biology alone when cultural expectations play such a huge role in shaping behaviour and experiences. And you’re right—women absolutely have social relationships with other women, and not every woman benefits from being approached or given a pass based on looks. But the core o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 06:34 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re not saying anything groundbreaking by pointing out that people make snap judgments. We all know they do. The point is whether we call that what it is—bias and convenience—or pretend it’s some flawless, rational process justified by “logic.” You’re framing it like women have to default to maximum suspicion of anyone socially awkward, when the reality is, most of the time, they choose to. That’s fine, but let’s be honest: it’s not just threat assessment—it’s about ease. You keep coming back… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 06:32 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?I understand what an analogy is. The issue isn’t using one, it’s relying on them to frame human relationships like transactions, which flattens the entire discussion. You keep saying it’s just a tool to explain things, but your entire argument depends on this transactional lens. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t default to market logic every time. You keep repeating "preference" as if that makes your point bulletproof. It doesn’t. Preferences exist—sure. That’s not in dispute. What is in dispute is pre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 06:31 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You can call it an analogy all you want, but you’re still treating people like products on a shelf. Whether you intend to or not, that mindset leaks into how you talk about human relationships—as transactions, commodities, and rankings. That’s the problem. And no, cultural preference doesn’t magically make something more “meritorious.” It makes it popular. Slavery was culturally accepted in large parts of the world for centuries. Cultural norms and popular consensus don’t equate to fairness, emp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:25 PM |
| 2 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?No one’s saying people shouldn’t assess risk. The problem is pretending your gut reaction based on surface-level behavior is always accurate or justified. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. But acting like every awkward person deserves to be treated like a live threat isn’t “threat assessment,” it’s blanket prejudice. You’re comparing socially anxious people to someone tweaking out of their mind on drugs. That’s not the same thing, and you know it. A guy who’s quiet or struggles with eye conta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Not really. It’s just the obvious outcome of mutual choice. If people are being filtered out based on bias or suspicion, it makes sense they’d opt out of engaging altogether. That’s not “I quit”—it’s respecting everyone’s right to choose, including their own. You set your boundaries. Others will set theirs. No complaints—just reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:25 PM |
| 2 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re describing two completely different things and pretending they’re the same because they look similar on the surface. Predators use certain behaviors intentionally. Socially anxious or awkward people often display similar behaviors unintentionally because of nerves, trauma, or lack of social skills. Intent matters. Assuming someone is dangerous just because their body language resembles something you’ve seen before isn’t rational risk assessment—it’s pattern matching driven by fear. And fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You keep comparing human beings to products and dating to a free market transaction. That’s not clarity—that’s reductionism. Human connection isn’t a commodity, and the people who treat it like one often end up the most disconnected. It’s no coincidence. You say, “The free market has spoken.” No, what you’re describing is social conformity, status-chasing, and fear-based risk aversion. People make choices based on perceived reward, sure—but that’s not some noble system of merit, it’s convenience… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:24 PM |
| 1 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menPeople in this thread believing the barrier is immovable doesn’t make it true. We’ve seen this pattern before—what feels unthinkable or unnatural at one point often becomes normalized with time and exposure. Online dating, social media relationships, even long-distance connections through video games—all of these were dismissed early on as inadequate substitutes for “real” interaction. Now they’re just part of life. The same will happen here. As AI companionship becomes more advanced and more pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re dressing up basic social preferences in a layer of pseudo-meritocracy and acting like it’s objective truth. It’s not. You’re just rationalizing why certain men get dismissed, and that’s fine—people have preferences. But let’s be honest: your entire argument boils down to “they’re not worth the risk because they’re awkward,” which has nothing to do with actual safety and everything to do with comfort and convenience. Also, spare me the “meritocracy” speech. Social dynamics aren’t a job int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 08:14 AM |
| 2 | The quantity of marriages dont matter if the quality is shit.Yeah it's a mess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:23 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re trying hard to frame this as manipulation or control, but all I’m talking about is men exercising choice over what they give and who they give it to. That’s not a power fantasy—it’s basic agency. Women already do this without getting labeled manipulative. Men should do the same. If a woman wants commitment from a man who has standards, she can meet them or not. Nobody’s forcing anyone. That’s the opposite of control. That’s how choice works in any interaction. You keep bringing up insecur… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:41 AM |
| 3 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menWaifu pillows aren’t even close to what we’re discussing here. Comparing a static object to an AI capable of dynamic, responsive interaction—potentially with voice, visuals, and adaptive learning—isn’t a fair comparison. One is an inanimate comfort object; the other can simulate conversation, empathy, and emotional engagement. That’s a fundamentally different experience. And sure, at scale, widespread adoption takes time. But dismissing the growing trend because it hasn’t hit some tipping point … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:38 AM |
| 0 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re doing a lot of over-intellectualizing to justify basic bias. You’re pathologizing shyness and social awkwardness as if they’re moral failings or "perversions" that need to be corrected for someone to be worthy of basic respect. That’s not insight—it’s repackaged social Darwinism. People struggle socially for a variety of reasons: upbringing, mental health, trauma, neurodivergence. Reducing that to “he just needs to adapt and overcome” ignores reality. If it was that easy, everyone would h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:36 AM |
| 2 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"I hear you, and I definitely respect your experience. I’m not suggesting that autistic women inherently want to fit in or are naturally attuned to social cues—far from it. Autism presents with that same fundamental difficulty, regardless of gender. What I’m getting at is the external pressure. Whether or not an autistic girl cares about fitting in, the expectations from family, peers, and society at large are often relentless. Girls are frequently pushed harder to conform to social norms, even w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:33 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re mostly right—most men do hand over their leverage because they’re desperate for validation and sex. And yeah, women hold more power over those men. But that’s exactly why this conversation matters. The top 5-10% already hold the line, and women compete for them. If more men—even just a few not in that top tier—stopped acting desperate and enforced basic standards, it would shift the dynamic more than people think. Doesn’t take everyone, just enough. You’re also right about the hard part: … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 05:07 PM |
| 1 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.I completely agree that laws should be blind and fair, and right now, they aren’t always. Men do face an uphill battle in these situations, and that’s a serious problem. But the solution isn’t to throw out core principles like consent and privacy to level the playing field. We should push for legal reforms that make it easier for men to establish paternity without obstruction, especially within marriage. But I don’t think institutionalising automatic testing is the right way to fix what’s ultima… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.It absolutely counts. I’m not saying it doesn’t matter—it matters a lot. Men should have the right to know, and the current system makes it way too hard in some cases. That needs to change. But the solution isn’t removing consent and privacy protections for everyone. We need systems that allow men to establish paternity without roadblocks or having to lawyer up, while still respecting the basic rights that protect us all. You can advocate for men’s rights to know without creating a system that a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 04:27 PM |
| 6 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menI think your analogy misses the mark. Comparing AI companionship to substance abuse or taping over a gunshot wound assumes men are broken and anything short of full social reintegration is a failure. But not everyone wants or is able to re-enter a traditional social or dating life. For some, AI companionship isn’t escapism—it’s a stable, consistent source of comfort in a world where connection has become increasingly conditional and transactional. You mention that most men will have a romantic e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 02:42 PM |
| 7 | The quantity of marriages dont matter if the quality is shit.I did read it. That’s exactly why I’m pointing out how scattered it is. Listing a bunch of examples without tying them back to a clear argument isn’t making a point—it’s rambling. If you think there’s something I missed, clarify it instead of assuming I didn’t read. Otherwise, it just looks like you’re dodging valid criticism | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 02:39 PM |
| 3 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menFair enough—you didn’t explicitly say that. But your argument implies that the mental barrier is significant enough to prevent AI companions from offering real emotional relief in the present, which is why I addressed it. My point is, we’re already seeing people form meaningful attachments to non-human entities, AI included. The barrier you’re describing isn’t as rigid as you make it sound. Individual adaptation often precedes societal acceptance. People don’t need society’s approval to feel les… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 02:38 PM |
| 11 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menFirst, shaming doesn’t have to be new to lose its impact. Many men are already desensitized to it. If shame was enough to deter behavior, men wouldn’t already be engaging in things they’re mocked for—whether it’s dating abroad, age-gap relationships, or even just voicing their struggles. Shame only works when someone values the approval they’re losing. For a lot of men who are already alienated, there’s not much left to lose. Second, on the philosophical bridge: I get your point about societal a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 02:36 PM |
| -1 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"Fair point—flirting and dating are definitely just one aspect of social interaction. But they’re a huge part of where the social expectations and pressures diverge, especially when we’re talking about adult relationships and connection-building. For autistic men, dating isn’t just about flirting—it’s often the main avenue where they’re expected to prove social competence. That pressure can be relentless, and the consequences for missteps tend to be harsher. As for day-to-day interactions, like y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:54 PM |
| 6 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menExactly. Most won’t care until it starts impacting them directly. If enough men—especially the ones women are interested in—begin opting out, it shifts the dynamic. Attention, validation, and resources are currency in modern dating. If men take that elsewhere, whether to AI companions or by walking away entirely, it changes the game. But for a lot of men, it’s not even about taking power back. It’s about no longer investing energy into a system that gives them nothing in return. They’re finding … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:46 PM |
| 3 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"At the core, it’s the same takeaway: neither gender is inherently better at masking—it’s the different pressures and expectations placed on us from early on that shape how those masking behaviours develop. And by the time we hit adulthood, those patterns are pretty entrenched. It’s just that the social demands autistic men face—especially in things like dating—are often front-loaded with more active performance and initiative, while women deal with a different, but equally exhausting, set of exp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:44 PM |
| 9 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menIf dating is meant to be exhausting and requires men to constantly push beyond their limits just to be seen as worthy, it’s no wonder so many are opting out. Not everyone is interested in living their entire life on a treadmill for conditional approval. Constantly chasing “exceptionalism” just to meet someone’s basic standards isn’t strength—it’s dependency on external validation. Some men are choosing peace over endless striving. They’d rather be fulfilled on their own terms than exhaust themse… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:42 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re twisting what I said. Encouraging men to raise their standards isn’t “controlling women.” It’s men controlling themselves—deciding where they give commitment, attention, and resources. Women are free to respond however they want. That’s not control, that’s choice. When men as a group hand out commitment with no standards, it lowers the bar across the board. When enough of them stop, it shifts incentives. That’s not about forcing women to change—it’s about men no longer rewarding behavior … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:41 PM |
| 9 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"No one’s denying that autistic boys face serious consequences for not masking—bullying, exclusion, even violence in some cases. That’s absolutely true, and it’s a huge problem. But the point isn’t about who has it worse; it’s about how the expectations differ. Girls are often socially conditioned to mask in order to be accepted, while boys are punished when they fail to meet certain behavioral standards. Both are forms of pressure, but they play out differently. For autistic men, especially in a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:38 PM |
| 5 | The quantity of marriages dont matter if the quality is shit.I read the title. You’re saying quantity doesn’t matter if the quality is trash—fair enough. But the rest of your post doesn’t build on that. It jumps from TikTok girls to gay divorce rates to single moms to manosphere takes, without connecting it to the original point. If you’re just venting, cool. But if you’re trying to make an argument, it’s messy and all over the place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:34 PM |
| 6 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menIt’s a rigged game in the sense that effort and self-improvement don’t guarantee any return. Men are told to “do the work”—get fit, be successful, become emotionally intelligent—and many do exactly that. Yet they’re still passed over because the modern dating market is hyper-competitive, especially with online dating and social media amplifying women’s access to high-status men. The top percentage of men get the majority of attention, while the rest are often invisible—regardless of how much the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:31 PM |
| 7 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menAnd there it is—the goalpost shift. First, it’s “just work on yourself,” now it’s “be well above average.” How far do men have to go before it’s enough? If the baseline for basic companionship is exceptionalism, you’re proving the point. The game is rigged. No one’s saying self-improvement is bad. But when basic human connection requires being in the top percentile just to be noticed, it’s reasonable for men to look for alternatives. At some point, people get tired of endlessly competing just to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:18 PM |
| 10 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menIf it were really that simple, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. There are plenty of men who are productive, fit, well-groomed, and still struggle in the dating market. The “just shower and hit the gym” line is a tired oversimplification that ignores how competitive modern dating has become. Women are entitled to their standards but pretending they’re “below the earth” is disingenuous. Many men have done the work and found that it’s still not enough. At some point, it’s not about giving u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:17 PM |
| 11 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"Yeah, I’m with you on a lot of this—especially the part about masking being a survival mechanism rather than some innate advantage. But I think where we differ slightly is in how we view the outcome. By adulthood, sure, many autistic women appear to mask better. But I’d argue that’s because they’ve been forced to develop those skills earlier due to societal expectations, not because they’re inherently better or more capable at it. And I’d say the dating dynamic does tie back into masking in a ro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 01:14 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re mixing up control with standards. They aren’t the same. A man choosing who he commits to based on his standards isn’t controlling anyone. He’s making a choice about his own investment. No one’s forcing women to change—they’re free to live however they want. But men are also free to decide who they’re willing to commit to based on what they value. That’s not controlling—that’s discernment. As for examples: Men are expected to bring financial stability, ambition, social skills, emotional in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:59 PM |
| 1 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"That’s a fair observation, and I agree there’s often more social policing within female friend groups women do tend to enforce certain social norms more strictly with each other. But I think that dynamic is more about in-group behaviour and maintaining social harmony within established circles. What I’m talking about is different. When it comes to initial social interactions like meeting new people, dating, or networking women (including autistic women) aren’t typically expected to be the ones c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:57 PM |
| 8 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menCalling it “mental illness” because someone finds comfort in AI companionship is lazy and dismissive. People already form deep emotional attachments to things that aren’t human—pets, fictional characters, even objects of sentimental value. That’s not new, and it’s not inherently unhealthy. What is unhealthy is shaming people for seeking relief from isolation in a world where genuine human connection isn’t as accessible as you think. As for the fearmongering—blackmail, radicalization, hacked devi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:53 PM |
| 10 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menThat’s just not reality. Plenty of men are well-educated, productive, kind, and responsible and they’re still invisible in the dating market. The idea that being a “good man” guarantees interest is a comforting fantasy, not a fact. The “bar is in the basement” line gets thrown around a lot, but if that were true, there wouldn’t be so many men doing everything right and still getting overlooked. Modern dating is more competitive and selective than ever. Women have every right to their standards, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:51 PM |
| 9 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menYou’re assuming that men are all ticking time bombs waiting for an excuse to dehumanise women, and I think that’s a pretty bleak—and frankly, unfair—view. The idea that AI companions will automatically lead to a breakdown of moral boundaries and turn users into predators doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. If anything, you’re projecting broader societal issues onto technology. We need to acknowledge the core problem here: You’re focusing on the potential negatives of AI companionship while ignoring … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:35 PM |
| 6 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menReal women are better’ is a personal preference, not a universal truth. For many men, real women come with rejection, judgment, and conditions they’re tired of navigating. If an AI companion offers emotional support, consistency, and peace—without the stress or constant proving of worth—better becomes subjective. It’s not about AI replacing women. It’s about men finding fulfillment on their own terms, without having to constantly compete for validation. Some will prefer that life, and no amount … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:30 PM |
| 15 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menI think you’re underestimating how adaptable people are when faced with loneliness and emotional deprivation. First, the idea that ridicule will deter men from using AI companions assumes men haven’t already experienced shame for decades over their loneliness, inexperience, or failure in dating. Many men have already endured rejection, mockery, and isolation—yet they still keep searching for connection. If AI offers an alternative that provides comfort and fulfillment, a few snide comments from … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:29 PM |
| 17 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menWhy should men live their lives in constant pursuit of being ‘worthy’ of women? That mindset reduces a man’s entire existence to whether or not women find him attractive. Some of us are done playing that game. We’re not interested in chasing validation from people who see us as projects to be ‘improved.’ If an AI companion gives men peace, comfort, and fulfillment without jumping through hoops for basic human connection, why wouldn’t they choose that? Not every man dreams of being desirable—some… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:25 PM |
| 9 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menYou’re confusing vulnerability with performance. Vulnerability is only considered ‘sexy’ when it’s packaged in a way that fits your comfort zone. The second it makes you uncomfortable or challenges your preferences, it becomes a ‘red flag.’ A man admitting he feels so isolated that he turned to AI is a vulnerability. But instead of compassion, you’re handing him ridicule for choosing a coping mechanism that doesn’t meet your approval. Let’s be honest. Vulnerability isn’t universally rewarded. It… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:23 PM |
| 13 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menWhat’s actually sad is thinking men exist purely to become ‘desirable’ to women, like their entire worth hinges on female approval. Maybe some men are tired of jumping through hoops to meet ever-rising standards, only to still get overlooked. Choosing an AI companion isn’t about giving up but for some men about opting out of a game that no longer makes sense to them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:21 PM |
| 9 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menYou’re assuming this ‘mental barrier’ is fixed and universal, but people already form strong emotional connections with things they know aren’t human. Look at how attached people get to fictional characters, pets, or even celebrities they’ll never meet. Humans are wired to emotionally bond when their emotional needs are met—whether it’s with a person, a pet, or a highly advanced AI companion. The idea that we have to wait for future generations to recognize AI personhood ignores how adaptive peo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:19 PM |
| 6 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menYou say 'just work on yourself' like it’s some cheat code that guarantees success. It’s not. Millions of men have worked on themselves. They're fit, financially stable, and emotionally intelligent and still invisible. Modern dating is skewed, and women's standards have never been higher. That’s their right, but let’s not pretend self-improvement guarantees a partner. It doesn’t. Some men get tired of playing a rigged game and choose AI to meet emotional needs without jumping through hoops for ba… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:17 PM |
| 5 | The quantity of marriages dont matter if the quality is shit.What’s your actual point? Are you arguing marriage doesn’t matter? That people suck? That modern relationships are broken? Because right now it just sounds like a list of complaints, not an argument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:11 PM |
| 30 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"I think we need to be careful about assuming autistic women are better at masking, rather than looking at the different expectations placed on them. Women, in general, are socialised from a young age to be more attuned to social cues and to prioritise fitting in. That’s not necessarily an innate skill but a survival mechanism that’s often demanded of them. Autistic men aren’t always taught the same social scripts or rewarded in the same way for masking, but that doesn’t mean they’re less capable… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:05 PM |
| 8 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"I’ve seen those studies, but I think they’re often interpreted in a way that misses the bigger picture. Women being diagnosed later doesn’t only reflect milder symptoms or better masking—it’s also tied to how society perceives and responds to women’s behaviour. A socially withdrawn or quiet girl is often seen as “shy” or “reserved,” which flies under the radar, whereas a boy showing similar traits is more likely to be flagged as struggling. And when it comes to being “better at social interactio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:03 PM |
| 4 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"I don’t think the problem is “equality” itself. It’s the misunderstanding of what equality should look like. Equality doesn’t mean pretending men and women are the same or erasing natural dynamics. It should mean respecting people’s differences while giving everyone a fair shot, not forcing people into roles that don’t fit them just to tick a box. The issue isn’t equality—it’s when people confuse equality with sameness, and ignore how gender roles impact things like dating and relationships in r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 12:02 PM |
| 11 | Autistic women are not "better at masking"Absolutely agree. The idea that autistic women are inherently “better at masking” often overlooks the deeper social dynamics at play in that it's not necessarily that women are better at hiding their autism it’s that the current social script we all unfortunately live by gives them more room to be passive, especially in contexts like dating or forming connections. Men, on the other hand, are under constant pressure to take initiative. If you’re an autistic man, you’re not just masking traits to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:58 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneNot shifting goalposts—just clarifying the distinction between self-improvement and relational accountability. They aren’t the same. Yeah, plenty of self-improvement benefits both men and women in and outside of relationships. But improving for yourself doesn’t automatically make someone a better long-term partner. That’s where the gap is. Men are still expected to meet women’s relationship standards just to get in the door. But expecting the same in return is often framed as “asking too much.” … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:54 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneWomen control access to sex. Men control access to commitment. Both sides have leverage in different ways. The issue is too many men give away their commitment, attention, and resources without standards. That’s why it feels like women have all the control. But men still decide who they invest in long-term, and that shapes the market more than people admit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:52 AM |
| 1 | Getting women is just like getting another jobBut the post isn’t really about what it feels like when you’ve found the right person—it’s about the process of getting there. For a lot of people, especially guys, the “job hunt” part is a grind. The rejection, the effort, constantly having to prove you’re a “good hire”… that’s the comparison. Once you land the right role, sure, it can feel effortless. But getting there? That’s where the work is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:51 AM |
| 6 | Getting women is just like getting another jobI don’t think it’s the same thing. Men aren’t “finally” experiencing it—they’ve always had to do the chasing, competing, and proving themselves just to get a chance. It’s just rarely framed this way. And sure, pregnancy and childbirth are huge sacrifices, no doubt. But not every woman has kids, while every man still has to go through the grind if he wants to be seen as a viable partner. Different struggles, but both are real. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:50 AM |
| 10 | Getting women is just like getting another jobBut I think the post is more about the getting there part, not the actual relationship once things are good. Your boyfriend’s already got the “job” he loves, so of course it doesn’t feel like work now. But if you asked him about the dating phase before you, I bet he’d describe it like a full-time grind—putting himself out there, proving he’s worth it, dealing with rejection, all that. It’s a whole process before you get to the chill, fun part. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:48 AM |
| 5 | Getting women is just like getting another jobThe “compensation package” can be pretty barebones unless you land in the right role. Meanwhile, a lot of women do get better offers just for showing up to the interview. So yeah, maybe the analogy flips depending on who’s doing the hiring… or who’s being exploited. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:46 AM |
| 6 | Getting women is just like getting another jobEh for men, the “job hunt” is often constant. They’re expected to build their résumé (status, physique, confidence), send out applications (approaches, dates), and face a lot more rejections. It’s an active pursuit. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more in the interviewing position—receiving applications and deciding which candidates move forward. That’s not to say women don’t put in work, but the dynamic shifts. So, while the “job” analogy can fit both perspectives, I’d argue the process is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.Nah, it’s not about siding with the mother. It’s about making sure nobody’s rights—father, mother, or child—get trampled for convenience. Consent has to be consistent, or it doesn’t mean anything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:41 AM |
| 1 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.There’s definitely an issue when a man faces roadblocks to getting clarity. But that’s why I think we should focus on making at-home testing and legal avenues more accessible and affordable, not by bypassing consent altogether. The answer isn’t to remove people’s rights over their DNA—it’s to empower men to take action without needing anyone else’s approval. The fact that a mother can block requests is a legal problem we can address without making paternity testing mandatory or automatic for eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:40 AM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI’m not denying women are self-improving in certain areas. But a lot of what you’re describing—financial independence, therapy, fitness—is often done for themselves, not necessarily to meet what men value in long-term partners. And the relationship types you mentioned—FWBs, situationships, open relationships—aren’t what most men are looking for when they think about commitment. Those dynamics mostly benefit men short-term, not long-term. The point is, there’s a difference between self-improvemen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 10:33 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?No, I’m not suggesting rape or murder as an “alternative.” That’s a ridiculous bad-faith framing, and you know it. Saying blanket suspicion isn’t the only option doesn’t equal “let more women be harmed.” That’s just emotional manipulation to dodge a nuanced discussion. I’ve already given an alternative: treat people as individuals, use situational awareness, and judge behavior, not just category. That’s how rational adults navigate risk in most areas of life. But you ignore that because it doesn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:33 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Fair enough. You’re making decisions based on what works for you. No one’s arguing you need flawless logic to make personal choices. But the same logic cuts both ways. Just like you’re free to write people off based on your preferences, men are free to stop engaging with women who bring the same bias or dismissiveness to the table. That’s not moral superiority either—it’s people choosing where to invest their time. No hard feelings. Just clarity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:06 AM |
| 1 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.That’s your personal choice, and fair enough. But the key word here is choice. You’re choosing to hand over your DNA, not having it automatically collected and used just because you “shouldn’t have anything to hide.” There’s a big difference between someone voluntarily cooperating in an investigation and the system removing your right to say no. Consent and privacy aren’t just protections for the guilty. They exist because systems and people can be misused, mistakes happen, and no one should hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:05 AM |
| 1 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.Both, honestly. Parents are the ones consenting on behalf of their newborns for any medical procedures or tests, and they should have a say in what that testing includes—especially when it comes to DNA, which is sensitive, personal information. You wouldn’t just assume consent for any other use of biological data, so why make an exception here? And in the long term, the child’s genetic privacy matters too. That data doesn’t just belong to the parents; it’s theirs. Using it without clear consent … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneExactly and that’s part of the problem. Too many men settle upfront because they think it’s the best they can do, only to check out later when they realize they’re miserable. Raising standards from the start prevents that. It’s not about gaming marriage for benefits—it’s about not ending up stuck in something you didn’t really want in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:03 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneIt matters because even if most women won’t rise to meet those standards, some will. And the few men who hold the line will get them. The rest of the women can opt out or stay single. That’s their choice. But the men setting the tone aren’t doing it to get everyone to comply—they’re doing it so they don’t waste their time. And when enough men do that, it reshapes the dynamic, whether women like it or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:01 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?No offense taken, but comparing men to traffic kind of proves my point. You’re reducing human beings to potential threats to be avoided or managed, not individuals to engage with. And I have acknowledged that less caution comes with risk. I’ve also said treating every man like a threat comes with a different kind of cost. You’re just ignoring that because it doesn’t fit your narrative. If you’re fine living by maximum suspicion, that’s your choice. Just don’t pretend it’s the only rational path,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 06:56 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFair. Men are more likely to lower standards because of biology—short-term mating strategy, stronger sex drive, whatever you want to call it. But just because men can lower their standards doesn’t mean they should. The point is, the men who don’t are the ones who shift the dynamic. Most people will always do what’s easy. The few who don’t are the ones who set the tone for what’s valued. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:33 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYeah, I agree—it’s probably closer to 10%. But that 10% has always had outsized influence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:32 PM |
| 2 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.It’s not about “having something to hide,” it’s about bodily autonomy and informed consent. Just because the blood is already at a lab doesn’t mean people should lose the right to decide what it’s used for. If you extend the “nothing to hide” logic, you could justify a ton of things—background checks on spouses, financial audits, surveillance because “why worry if you’re innocent?” That’s a dangerous line to walk. And policy-wise, using DNA for paternity testing isn’t the same as routine newborn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI get the argument, but “biologically obligated to continue the human race” doesn’t mean individual men have to sacrifice their standards to make it happen. Plenty of people will still pair off, regardless. There’s no shortage of men or women willing to lower the bar. But for the men who don’t want to live that way, settling just to tick a box isn’t the answer. Survival of the species isn’t a reason to accept a miserable deal. Also, most people do not think at that scale. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:39 PM |
| 0 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.I get the appeal of having a process in place “just in case,” but to me, that still feels like solving a problem that already has a solution. Men who want certainty can get it without institutionalising the process. Once you start standardising things like this, even with good intentions, it changes the dynamic. It normalises suspicion at the start of fatherhood and not every man or couple wants that vibe. Not to mention, adding another step to birth procedures, even if it’s “just one more drop,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:38 PM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneSure, they did. Widows weren’t the issue—widows were typically seen as respectable, often because they’d already proven they could be loyal wives and mothers. What men didn’t regularly do was marry women with reputations for promiscuity or women who openly disregarded social expectations. Standards were still enforced, just differently depending on the context. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFor the best. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re free to avoid whoever you want. That’s not the issue. The point is, you’re making broad, biased judgments and calling them flawless logic. The Gift of Fear promotes intuition, not blanket assumptions. Intuition works when it’s situational, not when it’s applied as a blanket rule against anyone who doesn’t fit your comfort zone. If your approach is to avoid people who make you uncomfortable, fine. But don’t act like it’s some universal truth about who’s worth knowing. That’s just personal … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYeah, plenty of guys are doing that and staying single. Some by choice, some not. That’s the trade-off when you hold the line. It’s not a magic fix, but it beats wasting your life in situations that drain you. MGTOW is a response to that reality. A lot of men are checking out because they see no return on investment. I get it. But whether you walk away or stay in the game, standards still matter. It’s the only way to keep self-respect intact. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:52 PM |
| 3 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.That’s exactly why I think men should take the initiative early and do it privately if they have any doubts. Waiting years or blindly trusting without verifying is risky but that’s on the individual to handle. Making it a formal, widespread process just to account for worst-case scenarios feels like overkill. We don’t force everyone to get prenups or background checks on spouses, even though betrayal is possible there too. The tools are available; it’s on men to use them. Personal responsibility… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:50 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re reading into it. Recognizing that dating involves competition doesn’t mean you don’t believe in love, compatibility, or people clicking. Both things can be true. People do pair up because they connect but they usually don’t get the chance to connect if they’re not already seen as valuable in the first place. That’s not “incel ideology.” That’s reality. Pretending it’s all just organic and effortless isn’t reflective of how most people experience dating today. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI get it. It’s not easy, and I’m not blaming guys for the situation—they didn’t create the rules. But the choice is still the same: act from a place of scarcity and stay stuck, or hold the line and build something better long term. No guarantees, but it’s the only move that gives you a shot at something worthwhile. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 05:20 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneThat’s how it should be, but it’s not how it works for most people. Like it or not, dating is competitive—especially for the men and women who are considered most desirable. Compatibility matters, sure. But people don’t get the chance to find that out unless they’re already seen as worth it first. That’s the game, whether we like the word “competition” or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 05:16 PM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneIt’s not moving goalposts—it’s part of the same problem. A lot of men focus so much on getting dates that they ignore whether the person is actually worth their time. That desperation shows, and it makes things worse. Raising standards means not scrambling just to get in the door with anyone who’ll give you a shot. It’s about fixing the mindset first. Otherwise, even when guys do get dates, they’re in a weak position from the start. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneThey already do. That’s the point. Women compete for the men they want—the ones with options and 'standards.' If those men collectively raised the bar, women wouldn’t have the same fallback. It’s not about women finding other men. It’s about who’s actually worth competing for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 05:12 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Safety can be a moral imperative, but what you’re describing is convenience wrapped in fear-based assumptions. You’re not assessing risk on a case-by-case basis—you’re defaulting to suspicion because it’s easier. And “normal social behaviours” vary. Awkwardness, shyness, or being alone doesn’t equal danger. You’re equating discomfort with risk, and that’s not objective—it’s bias. If convenience drives your decisions, fair enough. But stop dressing it up like it’s some flawless moral stance. It’s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 05:11 PM |
| 2 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.I get what you’re saying, and in an ideal world, sure—a strong relationship would have that level of openness. But in reality, bringing up a paternity test in a committed relationship often does cause a reaction, no matter how you frame it. People aren’t always rational about this stuff. You could explain that it’s about your peace of mind and nothing else, but it can still lead to hurt feelings or unnecessary conflict. That’s why I lean toward handling it quietly. If the result clears everythin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 04:03 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneCool. You can call it “cockblocking” if it makes you feel better, but it’s just men choosing where they put their time and energy. If that bothers you, that’s on you. I’m not here to sell it especially to a woman of all people. Just laying it out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re still framing this in absolutes, as if the only way to stay safe is to maximize suspicion. That’s not realistic. No one’s saying throw out caution—situational awareness works without blanket assumptions. Treating every man like a threat isn’t a safety strategy; it’s a defensive posture that damages trust and connection. And yes, that does have a long-term societal cost, whether you admit it or not. You say women are “safer” to be around. Statistically, sure—less violent crime comes from w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 03:25 PM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneNo disrespect taken. But here’s the thing—this isn’t about every man. I’ve said that from the start. It’s about the men women actually want—the ones with leverage. And they still make the majority of decisions when it comes to commitment. That’s where the standards matter. You’re right that lots of women are getting educated, working more, and competing for the same small group of men they find desirable. And that’s exactly the point. Those men don’t have to settle for low-effort relationships. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFunny story, but it misses the point. I’m not sitting around policing what other men do. I’m pointing out a dynamic. Men can do whatever they want—it’s their choice. But actions have consequences, whether they realize it or not. If enough men stop rewarding low-effort behaviour, things shift. If they don’t, we get more of the same. Simple as that. No tears needed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 03:18 PM |
| 6 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.I get the distinction you’re making, but I’m not sure it changes much. Whether it’s standard or mandatory, it still introduces an unnecessary layer into something that can already be handled privately. At-home kits give men the option without involving hospitals or raising awkward questions. If it’s about having the choice, that choice already exists—quietly and without complicating things further. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 02:31 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneNo one’s trying to “cockblock society.” The point isn’t stopping men from having sex—it’s stopping them from throwing away commitment, attention, and validation on low-effort women, and there’s no shortage of those. Men already change their behavior based on incentives. If enough of them stopped rewarding the same things, the dating landscape would shift for the better. It’s basic cause and effect. But hey, if you think men are completely incapable of self-control, that’s on you. As you noticed,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 02:24 PM |
| 11 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.Isn’t this kind of unnecessary? There are plenty of reliable at-home kits guys can buy and use without making a big deal about it. There is no need to push for some formal, mandatory process at birth that risks adding tension. If a man has doubts, he can handle it quietly. It’s not about her peace of mind—it’s about his. No need to upset her or potentially hurt the relationship if he can get the clarity he needs privately. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 02:15 PM |
| 18 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.Men should just buy the at-home kits and handle it themselves. There’s no need to tell her—it’s not about her peace of mind, it’s about ours. Telling her would only cause unnecessary drama and strain the relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 02:09 PM |
| 5 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.I've seen women respond to this saying it should be done behind their back, so I guess they're in support of it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 02:03 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?That’s a false choice, and you know it. No one’s saying “take reckless risks” or “lower your guard.” I’m saying there’s a difference between reasonable caution and blanket suspicion that treats every man as guilty by default. Situational awareness doesn’t mean throwing safety out the window—it means being smart, not paranoid. If you think the only two options are maximum fear or more women die, you’re not arguing for safety; you’re arguing for a worldview built entirely on fear. And framing it a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 01:58 PM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneAgreed. A lot of this comes down to self-control. The more men feed into low-effort validation—whether it’s simping, spending money on OnlyFans, or tolerating disrespect—the worse it gets. Men can change the dynamic. But it requires discipline, not just talk. We can’t keep blaming women for taking advantage of incentives we create. Cut off the rewards, and the behavior shifts. Simple as that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 01:40 PM |
| 3 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?That’s fine. Just admit it’s about comfort and convenience, not safety or fairness. You’re not making moral judgments—you’re making social ones based on what feels right to you. Nobody’s arguing for forced inclusion. But if you’re excluding people based on discomfort, don’t act like it’s some higher principle. It’s just personal preference. For the hundreth time, own it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 01:36 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: Do you believe that being vulnerable is sexy to women?True. A lot of women aren’t naturally comfortable when their rock shows cracks. It’s not about blaming them—it’s just a dynamic that exists. And you’re right, it is a skill some women have to develop, just like men have to learn things in relationships that don’t come naturally to them. The issue is when people pretend the double standard isn’t there, or worse, shame men for noticing it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 01:34 PM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Acknowledging both sides means recognising that no solution is without cost. You’re acting like suspicion is a zero-cost choice—it isn’t. It damages trust, connection, and how men and women relate long-term. If that’s a trade you’re fine with, fair enough. Just stop framing it as if men are selfish for not liking it. As for an alternative? Treat people as individuals. Use situational awareness, not blanket suspicion. Be cautious, sure, but don't assume guilt by default. Safety doesn’t require de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 01:30 PM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneAnd that’s exactly what I’m talking about—holding your line on what matters to you. If constant phone use and attention-seeking are deal-breakers, then they’re deal-breakers. The problem is too many men don’t walk away from behaviour they know isn’t what they want. You’re already doing what I’m arguing for—having standards and sticking to them, even if it limits your options. That’s the point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 12:36 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneTrue, a lot of guys go through that phase. Some grow out of it, some don’t. But that’s part of the problem. When enough men are still rewarding low-effort behavior with attention, time, or commitment—even temporarily—it keeps the cycle going. No one’s expecting every guy to stop chasing casual sex. But the men who do have leverage and long-term value need to stop playing both sides if they actually want the dynamic to change. That’s where the difference is made. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 12:35 PM |
| 3 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?That’s not fairness—that’s avoidance. And again, that’s your choice. But pretending it’s “balanced” is a stretch. You’re not offering mutual understanding; you’re setting a one-sided rule: make me comfortable, or you’re out. Fairness would be recognizing that fear doesn’t always equal danger. What you’re describing is comfort-based filtering, not balance. Own it for what it is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 12:34 PM |
| 3 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?No one’s arguing against self-preservation being a moral choice. The argument is against dressing up subjective bias as if it’s always justified or beyond criticism. Human interaction is subjective—sure. But when you make blanket judgments and act like they’re unquestionable, you close the door on nuance, empathy, and fairness. If you’re fine with that, that’s your call. Just stop pretending there’s no deserved cost. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 12:13 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: Do you believe that being vulnerable is sexy to women?Depends on the emotion, the moment, and the woman. The problem isn’t showing emotion—it’s losing control of it. A rare, genuine moment can build respect. Constant emotional volatility kills it. And of course, all of this goes out the window if you’re dealing with a toxic woman. There are plenty out there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 12:12 PM |
| 3 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?And “furtive” is subjective. What looks furtive to you could just be someone nervous, shy, or socially awkward. That’s the issue—your interpretation isn’t objective truth. It’s still a judgment call, and it’s still driven by bias. Call it what you want, but the point stands: it’s self-preservation, not moral superiority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 11:11 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyonePeople are flawed, and no relationship is perfect. But there’s a difference between accepting flaws and settling for something one-sided or hollow. Men settling for less because they think love or respect is a fairytale doesn’t make it realistic—it just makes it defeatist. Meanwhile, the fact that women often refuse to lower their standards is why they control more of the dynamic. We could learn something from that. Holding a standard doesn’t mean chasing perfection. It means knowing where your … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 11:07 AM |
| 3 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Protecting yourself is moral. No argument there. But how you do it matters. Painting every socially awkward person as a potential murderer isn’t protection—it’s paranoia. Using extreme, worst-case scenarios to justify blanket suspicion doesn’t make it rational or fair. It’s fear-based thinking, not morality. If your strategy is to avoid anyone who makes you uncomfortable, fine. That’s your choice. But let’s stop pretending it’s some noble virtue. It’s self-preservation, and like I said—just own … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 11:05 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re still framing this as if the only “good” response is silent acceptance—and that’s the problem. You call it “grace” and “maturity,” but really, it’s compliance with a system that treats innocent people like suspects. Acknowledging someone has it worse doesn’t obligate anyone to quietly tolerate unfair treatment. That’s not grace—that’s erasure. Good men can be empathetic without sacrificing their own dignity in the process. And no one’s asking women to put themselves at risk for men’s feel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 11:01 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re not defining what a “good man” is—you’re dictating who’s allowed to feel what, under what terms, and calling it morality. It’s not. A man recognizing the reality of women’s caution doesn’t mean he has to like being treated as a threat or stay silent about the impact it has on him. Acknowledging women’s safety concerns and pointing out the cost of blanket suspicion are not mutually exclusive. Good men don’t have to accept unfair treatment to prove they’re good. And if your standard for “go… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 10:41 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneWanting to be loved and cherished isn’t an unrealistic standard. It’s basic. The problem is too many men settle for relationships where they don’t get that—just to have someone. Having standards isn’t about what you want. It’s about what you accept. Most men aren’t holding the line on what they’ll accept, and that’s where it breaks down. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 10:36 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?No, I grasp it just fine. You’re redefining “good men” as only those willing to accept being treated like a potential threat without objection. That’s not morality—that’s compliance. Plenty of good men respect women’s right to be cautious, but they’re not going to pretend it’s fair or comfortable to be viewed with suspicion by default. And they’re not wrong for feeling that way. You can blame the “bad men” all day, but it doesn’t change the experience for the ones who are constantly treated as s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 10:33 AM |
| 2 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re describing risk management, not morality. And again, that’s fine—people can choose who they engage with. But let’s not confuse protecting yourself with some higher principle. Also, anxiety in social situations isn’t some red flag for dangerous intent. That’s a projection. Nervousness doesn’t equal malice, and assuming it does say more about your biases than about the person you’re judging. At least be honest: it’s not about safety. It’s about convenience. You don’t need to give people a c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 10:31 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?That’s the point—if you’re fine with keeping distance and pushing men away, then own it. But you’re not just distancing the “bad ones”; you’re also shutting out good men who have no desire to harm anyone, simply because they won’t accept being treated with suspicion as the price of entry. And let’s be clear: understanding the need for caution doesn’t mean quietly accepting being viewed as a threat by default. There’s a line between empathy for your situation and tolerating unfair treatment. Expe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 10:01 AM |
| 9 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?This isn’t the argument you think it is. You’re basically admitting it’s all about social status and convenience—not fairness, empathy, or morality. Fine. Own that. But don’t turn around and pretend there’s some ethical high ground here. There isn’t. Also, throwing around terms like “lessers” and “betters” makes it crystal clear this isn’t about safety or rational caution. It’s social hierarchy worship. You’re not concerned about risk; you’re concerned about maintaining your spot at the top of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:57 AM |
| 14 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Sure, it FEELS rational from your perspective. But calling someone a “furtive weirdo” because they’re socially awkward isn’t objective—it’s biased. You’re making snap judgments and justifying them after the fact. That’s fine, it’s your choice, but let’s not pretend it’s some airtight logic. It’s convenience, not morality. And if you’re okay with that, own it. Just stop preaching empathy when you’re selective about who deserves it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:28 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYeah unfortunately female validation matters to a lot of men—no argument there. But here’s the thing: there’s no realistic solution to that problem outside of men doing the work and raising their standards. The only other option would be forcing women to validate men emotionally and physically. That’s neither realistic nor ethical, and no one seriously wants that. So we’re left with the only thing we can control—ourselves. When men raise their standards—not just for who they choose, but for the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:26 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?I’m not telling women to be blindly trusting. Basic caution makes sense—no argument there. Men commit the majority of these offenses, and women need to protect themselves. That’s reality. But you don’t get to have it both ways. You can’t treat every man like a potential threat by default and then expect men to approach and view women with warmth, trust, and good intentions. If you create an environment of suspicion, you’ll get distance and defensiveness in return. That’s the trade-off. And if th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:21 AM |
| 5 | Q4M: Do you believe that being vulnerable is sexy to women?I think you’re both kind of circling the same core idea but defining vulnerability differently. OP, you’re framing vulnerability as the confidence to reveal deeper fears and insecurities—doing so from a place of self-awareness and strength. That’s fair. A man who knows himself, including his flaws and fears, and can share them without shame or needing validation, can absolutely come across as attractive. It shows maturity and emotional intelligence. But I also think the other commenter is highli… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:15 AM |
| 12 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?No one’s asking for forced inclusion. If someone doesn’t want to give a guy a chance, that’s their call. The point is about consistency. You’re saying it's fine to write people off based on a vibe fair enough. But don’t pretend that’s objective or fair, and definitely don’t lecture men on empathy and accountability when it’s not being applied both ways. People have the right to set boundaries. But let’s not act like those boundaries are always rational or free from bias. And if we’re fine with t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:11 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI won’t argue with that. Loneliness at that level can break people. Most men won’t walk away because they need connection—it’s human. But settling for something that makes you miserable isn’t connection either. It’s just a different kind of isolation. It’s a shit situation either way. That’s why I focus on men building a life that gives them purpose outside of women. It doesn’t fix everything, but it gives you a foundation that doesn’t rely on scraping for female validation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 09:03 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Agreed on basic caution—everyone should have it. You don’t let random people into your house or pick up strangers, no argument there. But there’s a difference between treating situations as potentially risky and assuming bad intent from an entire group by default. Caution doesn’t have to turn into distrust of everyone who fits a profile. That’s the line. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:52 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI get the point. Some men will be locked out if they raise their standards—that’s reality. The question is whether accepting something they don’t actually want is any better. For some, going it alone is the better call. It’s not for everyone, but lowering your standards to avoid being alone comes with its own price. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:36 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneTrue. There are no guarantees. Self-improvement doesn’t promise results, but it’s the only play that gives you a shot at something better. Settling for a bad deal just to stay in the game isn’t winning though it’s delaying the loss. At some point, you have to decide whether surviving on scraps is worth it or if it’s better to build something for yourself, even if you’re doing it alone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:32 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Being wary and living in fear are two different things. Caution is normal—paranoia isn’t. If past experiences lead you to treat every man like a threat by default, that’s not healthy. It’s not “learning”; it’s projecting. Plenty of people experience trauma and manage to heal without seeing half the population as dangerous. That’s the actual goal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:07 AM |
| 8 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?We all get that predatory men exist. No one’s denying that. But the fact they exist doesn’t justify treating every man like he’s a ticking time bomb. That’s not caution—that’s paranoia. You say “most” women feel fear. Fine. But fear isn’t always rational. We don’t let other groups justify prejudice based on “feelings,” so why is it acceptable here? Men are constantly told to “check their privilege” and “do the work” when they have biases. That should go both ways. Most men aren’t predators. They… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:05 AM |
| 8 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?They'll try and justify it, man. No point in bringing that up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:03 AM |
| 7 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Exactly. We see it all the time. The crossing the street, the avoiding eye contact, the rerouting—it’s constant. And no one denies it; they just justify it. That alone proves the point. This isn't even talking about the online stuff... Men know we’re treated like a threat by default. Some care, some don’t, but none of us are blind to it. It’s just reality at this point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 08:02 AM |
| 5 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?Black women are rightfully more cautious around white women, but that's a different convo. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:57 AM |
| 15 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You're trying to sound insightful, but it’s really just masking a double standard. You’re excusing one group’s instincts while demonising another’s. You’re saying the tattooed criminal gets points because he accepts his intimidating vibe and works around it. Meanwhile, the shy nerd guy gets no leeway because his “furtive” behavior makes people uncomfortable, and he’s “in denial” if he doesn’t take responsibility for it. That’s an incredibly biased framing. For one, shy or socially awkward behavi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:53 AM |
| 1 | Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?You’re not wrong that women can have valid fears when it comes to male violence. That’s common sense. But the problem with this take is it frames the dynamic as if men don’t live with their own set of subconscious fears and risks, and it presents an over-simplified, almost dystopian view of male-female interaction that doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. First, the thought experiment about being on a planet where the opposite sex is stronger and commits 90-99% of crimes against you? That’s not an ac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:49 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI get that. But if the only way a guy avoids being an incel is by accepting anything with a pulse, is he really better off? That’s not a solution—that’s survival mode. And long-term, it just leads to resentment and regret. Better to focus on improving your options than lowering your standards to nothing as naive as that sounds. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:35 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: Do you believe that being vulnerable is sexy to women?Yeah I do think a lot of men have experienced that reaction whether directly or through watching it happen to others and its frustrating because the message we often hear is, "Be open, be vulnerable, show your emotions," but when some guys do, it seems to backfire. That said, I don’t think it’s as black and white as "women are disgusted by men being human." From what I’ve seen, it’s more about how, when, and how often vulnerability shows up. A guy who’s normally composed and self-assured might h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:29 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneIf a man has zero options, he’s already out of the pool. Lowering his standards won’t change that—it just guarantees he accepts whatever comes along, even if it’s bad for him. Raising standards isn’t about making life harder. It’s about refusing to settle for situations that don’t serve you, whether you have options or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:24 AM |
| 3 | Q4M: Do you believe that being vulnerable is sexy to women?I think this really depends on how we define vulnerability and the context it's shown in. A man being open about his emotions can definitely be attractive because it signals trust, emotional intelligence, and depth. But there’s a difference between being vulnerable sometimes and becoming emotionally dependent or losing composure regularly. Many women appreciate a man who can open up occasionally, but most still seem to want him to remain their rock most of the time. It’s not about women lying wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:23 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneThat’s already happening. More men are alone, and more women are holding out. The difference is, men lowering their standards hasn’t solved anything—it’s just made the problem worse. Raising standards won’t fix everything, but at least it shifts the dynamic back to earned commitment instead of giving it away by default. If some women would rather stay single, that’s fine. Men aren’t obligated to settle just to fill the gap. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:18 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYeah, way too many guys are handing out attention and money like it means nothing. That’s the root of a lot of this. As for laws, I’m less focused on what should be legal or illegal and more on what men choose to engage in. You can’t legislate self-respect. Guys have to stop simping because it’s bad for them, not because someone bans it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:16 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneCouldn’t agree more. Accountability, responsibility, and making better decisions are where it all starts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:15 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYeah, most guys won’t do it. Doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Men complain the system is rigged, then play right into it. If they stopped, things would shift—at least for the ones with discipline. The rest will keep whining. That’s on them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:14 AM |
| 3 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneAgreed. Settling for people you’re not actually into is a losing game. No one wins long-term in that setup. Managing your sex drive, having boundaries, building a life outside of women—that’s exactly what raising standards looks like. Most guys don’t want to do the hard part, so they settle and call it “just how it is.” It’s not. It’s a choice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:13 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFair enough. Time will tell. Let me stress, though that this benefits everyone... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:12 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou keep your standards anyway. You don’t need approval to do it. Red Pill and MGTOW lost the plot when they stopped focusing on self-respect and started obsessing over women. Raising standards isn’t about convincing women or society. It’s about men deciding what they’ll tolerate and sticking to it—quietly if they have to. You don’t need a movement. You need discipline. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:11 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re not wrong that a lot of men abandon their standards when looks are involved. That’s the problem. Most men haven’t figured out how to control that impulse, and they pay for it long-term. But some men do hold the line. And those are the men women actually want to keep. If more of those men stopped tolerating low-effort behaviour—no matter how attractive she is—that’s what would shift things. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. It just takes discipline, and most men haven’t learne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:10 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneOnline or offline, it’s the same dynamic. Women generally have more access to attention and validation than men—whether that’s DMs, dating apps, or day-to-day interactions. That doesn’t mean every woman experiences it the same way, but the overall trend is clear. The constant attention is part of what makes self-reflection less urgent for a lot of women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:07 AM |
| -1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFor a lot of men, yeah. But it doesn’t take all men—just enough of the ones with options. The guys women actually want long-term set the tone. If they raise their standards, the rest follows. Everyone else chasing quick pleasure has always been background noise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:06 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneOf course women choose whether to commit. No one’s saying otherwise. But the point is, men control who they offer commitment to. Women can walk away if they’re not interested, but without men offering long-term commitment in the first place, there’s nothing to walk away from. It’s not about who can leave. It’s about who controls access to what’s being offered. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:06 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneExactly. Social incentives were different back then, so behaviour followed. Men enforced standards around commitment, and women responded because the consequences mattered. The dynamics changed because those standards eroded. It’s not about going back in time but about understanding that when men set clear expectations, the incentives shift. They always have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:03 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneRaising standards doesn’t mean refusing to improve yourself. It’s about not tolerating low-effort women while you do it. Men should be improving themselves—that’s a given. But they shouldn’t be handing out commitment just because they finally meet a woman who might like them. Both sides need to bring something to the table. That’s the point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:02 AM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneThey do. But the problem is a lot of those same men are still handing out attention and sex without requiring much in return. That keeps the current dynamic in place. If more of them stopped using long-term promises to get casual sex, or stopped rewarding low effort with their time and energy, the incentives would change. Right now, too many are playing both sides. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:01 AM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneRaising standards doesn’t mean aiming for women out of your league. It means not tolerating disrespect, low effort, or one-sided relationships—no matter who the woman is. Plenty of guys chase women they can get, but accept bad treatment just to stay in the game. Raising standards is about walking away when something isn’t worth it, even if that means being alone for a while. Most men aren’t doing that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 07:00 AM |
| 3 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneMost men already have standards—they just drop them when they’re desperate for validation or sex. The issue isn’t attraction, it’s scarcity mindset. Plenty of men would rather lower their standards than walk away. And even if not every man can raise his standards, enough men can to change the dynamic. Women aren’t chasing “most men” for long-term commitment—they’re chasing the ones they respect. If those men raise their standards, the rest follows. This isn’t fantasy. It’s basic incentives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:58 AM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneThat’s fair when it comes to appearance and casual validation. A lot of women aren’t changing what they do based on random men’s opinions, and I wouldn’t expect them to. But this isn’t about whether men like fake nails or not. It’s about which women get access to serious relationships with the men they want. Women can do whatever they want with their appearance. But if they want commitment from the men they respect and desire, that’s where standards matter. You already see women frustrated about… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 06:57 AM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI agree men want long-term relationships. That doesn’t change the fact that men control access to them. Just because men want something doesn’t mean they hand it out freely. Women can filter for sex, men filter for commitment. Two sides of the same coin. And yeah, high-value men do raise their standards—because they can. But they’re a minority. Most men still hand out attention and commitment with no standards, and that’s where the imbalance comes from. If more men—especially the ones women actu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 09:12 PM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneAnd that’s fair. But not everyone is fine with being single long-term. Most people still want relationships, and if enough men held higher standards, it would indirectly cause a rethink for a lot of women who do care. You might not, and that’s fine. But plenty of others would. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI’m with you on the tech piece—it’s had a massive impact. Social media, dating apps, and the constant validation loop have definitely made things harder for genuine connection and long-term investment. It’s a tough environment. And I’m not naive about how deep the problem runs. You’re probably right that if things keep heading in the direction they are, governments or bigger societal forces may step in, whether we like it or not. But I don’t think it has to be all war, plague, or tyranny to see … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 09:07 PM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFor the record, I’m not saying women are “stupid” or can’t self-improve on their own. Plenty do. This isn’t about men needing to “fix” women. It’s about recognizing how incentives shape behaviour in any system, for both men and women. Men have always had to work on themselves to be seen as desirable, because if we don’t, we’re ignored. That’s just reality. On the flip side, a lot of women get validation and attention no matter what they do. That’s not a knock—it’s just the dynamic. When men star… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 09:05 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFair enough. Honestly though, your story kind of proves my point. You levelled up, played the game differently, and it led to better outcomes. That’s what I’m talking about. It’s not about theory versus reality but about men making different moves and watching how the environment responds. You did it on an individual level. I’m just saying if more men did the same, especially those with leverage, we’d see broader changes too. But I respect that we see it differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 09:03 PM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI guess I see where you're coming from? Different countries have different dynamics (obviously) and things like legal prostitution absolutely impact how dating markets operate. If there are more options available to men, especially easy access to sex, it can reduce women’s leverage when it comes to casual relationships and hypergamy. But even without legal prostitution, men still have some control. We’re not powerless just because of laws or cultural norms. The biggest issue is that men in place… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:59 PM |
| 2 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneYou’re right that, biologically, men tend to have a higher time preference when it comes to mating—shorter-term priorities, less selectivity in some cases. That’s evolution. But human behaviour isn’t just biology. It’s also culture, social conditioning, and incentives. We constantly override or channel our instincts in other areas of life this isn’t that different. As for men dominating the dating market: Yes, women have the advantage when it comes to sexual access—they are the gatekeepers there… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:57 PM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI get that, but it’s not really about “caring” what other people do. It’s about recognizing how the environment affects you. If you’re dating, you’re part of the system, whether you like it or not. Understanding how incentives work isn’t creepy—it’s smart. It’s no different than understanding how the job market works so you can make better career moves. This isn’t about controlling anyone else but about setting your own standards and recognising that those choices contribute to a bigger picture. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:54 PM |
| 1 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneBut it doesn’t have to be all men for the dynamics to shift. The men with the most leverage—the ones women are actually chasing for long-term commitment—still set the tone. If enough of those men raise their standards, it changes the incentive structure for women who want access to them. That’s not utopian thinking, that’s how markets (and people) respond to incentives, even if imperfectly. So yeah, it’s a meta-game. And in any game, you can’t control everyone’s move but you can control how you … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:52 PM |
| 0 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneI don’t disagree with a lot of what you’re saying. There is a trend where a lot of women, whether career-focused or trad, are looking for convenience over deep, reciprocal relationships. And like you said, deep relationships take real effort, investment, and sometimes sacrifice—not everyone’s up for that. But I’d argue that’s exactly why men raising their standards matters. If men continue to accept these low-investment offers, there’s no pressure for things to change. But if more men stop engag… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:39 PM |
| 4 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneFair point. There are plenty of men who don’t care about much beyond looks and being treated decently. And yeah, guys with options tend to enforce higher standards, because they can. But that’s part of what I’m getting at—if the majority of men have low standards, the system stays broken. Simps and orbiters will probably always exist. But attention isn’t the same as commitment. High-value men—whether that’s socially, financially, emotionally—still drive who women take seriously in the long term.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:37 PM |
| 3 | Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyoneStandards are primarily about protecting yourself and avoiding bad options—that’s the foundation. But when enough people hold those standards collectively, they also start to shape the environment. It’s not about using standards to force anyone to change. It’s about creating a situation where certain behaviors just aren’t rewarded, so over time, people adjust if they want different outcomes. That’s not manipulation—that’s just how incentives work in any system. So it’s both: personal boundaries … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 08:36 PM |
| – | Why are women uncomfortable (or refuse) to date virgin menEw | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/25 09:46 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.No it's not | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 10:15 PM |
| 4 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?I agree with you to an extent, but I’m not focused on who’s at fault. What stands out to me is how, whenever I point out the reality of the dynamic, there’s this immediate push—especially from women—to flip the blame back onto men. It’s like they get uncomfortable acknowledging how unbalanced things are and how that imbalance massively works in their favour, so they deflect instead. My whole point is that men need to adopt certain mindsets and strategies to level the playing field and protect th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 09:40 PM |
| 2 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?Massive oversimplification | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 09:30 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Sounds good, but you've said nothing factual. Therefore opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 09:26 PM |
| 5 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?Sure, in theory, social circles are lower risk. But not every guy has access to those kinds of spaces, and building them takes time and luck—especially when most social scenes aren’t exactly full of single, compatible women waiting to be approached. And even in those spaces, men are still expected to make the first move and still risk rejection. It’s not a cheat code. The same dynamic plays out, just in a different setting. What I’m talking about applies no matter where you meet someone—random c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 08:57 PM |
| 4 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?That’s advice men have heard a million times over. And plenty of them do exactly that. It doesn’t change the fact that the pressure to initiate and risk rejection stays firmly on their shoulders. Being “likeminded” doesn’t shield you from rejection, either. A man can do everything right, be in the right place, and still be treated like an option or ignored completely. That’s the point I’m making. The dynamic isn’t going away, and men are the ones carrying the cost. Detachment is what keeps them … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 08:34 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Some guys do give up—and honestly, for some, that might be the better call. But detachment isn’t about suffering through it. It’s what stops you from getting wrecked by the process in the first place. If you’re detached, you’re not sitting there riding the highs and lows. You’re steady. That’s what gives you the option to either keep going or step away on your terms, not because you’ve been burned out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I respect your opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 08:31 PM |
| 5 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?I get that, but the reality is most men don’t like the performance. They just feel forced into it because the alternative is being invisible. Opting out doesn’t lead to some neutral middle ground—it usually means being ignored completely. That’s the part people tend to miss when giving this advice. And sure, if a guy genuinely enjoys leading the interaction or playing into traditional roles, then fine. But let’s not pretend it’s a simple choice for the ones who don’t. It’s not just, “stop perfor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I disagree with your claim of what the cause is and it's affects. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 07:27 PM |
| 6 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?Men appear desperate because they’re the ones forced to do the heavy lifting to get noticed at all. If men stopped initiating or waited for guaranteed compatibility before making a move, most would never get a shot in the first place. That’s the reality. And no, it’s not “the same thing” to want something and have to jump through hoops just to be considered. There’s a difference between desire and necessity. Men aren’t spraying approaches because they want to—they’re doing it because the alterna… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:42 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.In your opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:28 PM |
| 7 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?You’re acting like men just woke up one day and decided to flood the market. The “illusion of choice” exists because men are the ones expected to create opportunity. If men stopped initiating tomorrow, most dating wouldn’t happen at all—and everyone knows it. It’s not about men wanting it “more”; it’s that they have to be the ones pushing things forward, or nothing happens. Women have no incentive to change that because the dynamic works in their favor. So yeah, men adapt to the system they’re i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:27 PM |
| 5 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?But it’s not as simple as “men are doing it wrong.” Men’s so-called “scattershot” approach is often a byproduct of the fact that they have to generate their own opportunities. Most guys don’t have a surplus of women showing interest in them, so they’re forced to be the ones who initiate—every time. And when you’re constantly the one chasing, you can either be ultra-selective and risk never getting any response, or cast a wider net and hope something sticks. That’s not laziness or lack of discern… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:07 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, I get that. The system screws everyone in the long run—women included. But men don’t have the luxury of waiting for it to fix itself. You either adapt or get crushed. Detachment keeps guys from burning out while everything keeps spiralling. It’s damage control at this point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:04 PM |
| 4 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?It’s different because the stakes aren’t the same. We’re not talking about making dinner plans—we’re talking about men having to take on the emotional labour, constant rejection, and risk of looking desperate just to get an opportunity in dating. If men don’t do it, they’re invisible. It’s not about wanting something—it’s about having to jump through hoops just to be considered. That’s a very different dynamic than who’s texting who about brunch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.No I disagree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.We can address what im addressing because it's my post. Cheers though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 02:24 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.That’s been my point from the start. I was already clear about what I meant by detachment—it’s not about being cold or indifferent. It’s about not over-investing before there’s mutual interest. If it took rephrasing it as “don’t be a desperate simp” for it to click, fine. But I’ve been consistent about what I’m saying from the jump. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 02:23 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.women have their own challenges. But this conversation is about the pressure and burnout men face, and I’m not going to minimize that by playing the comparison game. Both sides have problems—this is the one we’re talking about right now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 02:21 PM |
| 11 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?That’s kind of the point though. Women have had the chance. No one’s stopping them from approaching men—but the overwhelming majority still don’t. Why? Because they don’t need to. The dynamic benefits them as it is. Men are expected to do the heavy lifting in dating because if they don’t, nothing happens. So it’s not about “blaming” women for not approaching; it’s recognising that the system stays the way it is because they have no real incentive to change it. It’s easy to say “well, women could… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Simple—you show interest without over-investing. Detachment isn’t about acting like a brick wall. It’s about pacing yourself, not being cold. You still lead, you still engage, you still flirt—but you’re not sitting there fantasizing about your future together after two dates. And when she’s matching your energy, that’s when you invest more. This has been my prerequisite for any relationship. You don't have to think too hard to see how this works. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, same tactic on paper. The difference is women are filtering from a position of abundance—men are filtering while doing most of the chasing. Same mindset, different workload. That’s why detachment hits different for guys. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:27 PM |
| 11 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?I think you’re overlooking how this plays out in reality. Telling men to “stop performing and just search for women who aren’t into that” makes it sound way simpler than it is. You’re basically asking guys to intentionally make an already brutal dating process even harder. If we’re being honest, most men are still expected to approach, initiate, lead, and perform—whether they want to or not. That’s not just social conditioning; it’s baked into human behaviour, and even the women who say they’re … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:26 PM |
| 18 | Q 4 BPers: Do women generally struggle with dating today?I’ve never liked that metaphor—it sugarcoats the male experience. For men, it’s not just searching for water in a desert. It’s finally stumbling across a puddle, only to realize it’s polluted, and you’re still dying of thirst. There’s both scarcity and quality issues. For women, it’s like standing in front of a flood, but most of the water is dirty, and they don’t want to drink it. Men aren’t just struggling to find any options—they’re struggling to find good ones as well. The fact a guy finds w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:15 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.In theory, yeah. But it’s hard to enjoy dating when you’re constantly dealing with rejection, ghosting, and one-sided effort. For a lot of guys, it’s not fun—it’s exhausting. Detachment isn’t about killing the fun, it’s about keeping your sanity so you can actually enjoy it when something clicks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:04 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I get what you’re saying, but let’s be real—this mindset isn’t the cause, it’s the effect. Guys didn’t create this system by being detached. They got detached because investing early and caring too much stopped working. You adapt or you burn out. Blaming the reaction instead of the system is missing the point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:03 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, but if you’re not getting results, caring more isn’t going to fix it either. Detachment keeps you from losing your mind while you figure out what needs to change. It’s survival first, results second. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Exactly. It’s not even about “winning” more—it’s about not losing your head in the process. People who stay detached stay sane. Simple as that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:59 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Good to hear | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:58 AM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Sure, men have always had to put in the work. But the scale’s different now. Back then, your dating pool was your school, your neighbourhood, and maybe a few social circles. Now it’s thousands of options, constant comparison, and way more competition for attention—especially online. That ramps up the effort and rejection, which ramps up the burnout. And yeah, I agree: getting emotionally invested too soon has always been a bad move. But for men today, the sheer volume and imbalance make emotiona… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:58 AM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Agreed but the problem is, a lot of guys don’t figure it out until after they’ve burned themselves out. Some never do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:56 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.But for men, the burnout happens because we’re usually the ones initiating, handling rejection, and doing the legwork from the start. Women can filter. Men have to work through it. Different game, different consequences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:55 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Sounds like you’re projecting. No one’s saying “never be vulnerable.” We’re saying don’t throw your heart at people who haven’t earned it. Emotional discipline isn’t cowardice—it’s self-respect. If you think reckless vulnerability makes you a “real man,” be my guest. Some of us prefer not to bleed out for strangers though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:54 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Trying is the bare minimum. The point is how you try. If you’re chasing outcomes and over-investing, you’re setting yourself up to lose. Detachment isn’t about not trying—it’s about not losing yourself in the process. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:53 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, spot on. It applies across the board, but I’d argue dating is one of the toughest places to actually live that mindset especially for men. When you’re the one doing most of the work upfront, staying outcome-independent isn’t easy. But if you don’t get your head right early, the whole process will drain you fast. That’s why I hammer this point so much. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:52 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I get it. Younger guys are wired for validation-seeking, and the dating game today makes that even worse. But that’s exactly why they need to hear this mindset early—before they burn out, get bitter, or end up chasing validation for years. Yeah, experience helps, but emotional discipline isn’t some age-restricted wisdom. The sooner you get it, the better you handle the grind. Scarcity makes guys over-invest but detachment helps them stop digging themselves deeper. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:51 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, the toll is real. That’s why I push the detachment mindset so hard. If you’re taking every rejection personally, you’re gonna feel every miss like a punch to the gut. Detachment doesn’t make rejection fun—it just keeps it from wrecking your self-esteem in the process. Without that, most guys either burn out or check out completely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:49 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, I’m with you on all that. Early dating should be slow and focused on figuring out if there’s something real, not getting ahead of yourself. But I’d argue that for men especially, it’s easy to burn out when you’re the one doing most of the initiating and effort up front. That’s why detachment isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary. Otherwise, you’re pouring energy into people who might not even be halfway there, and you end up drained. At the end of the day, if someone’s not matching your effort… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:48 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, exactly. The difference is that women can approach dating that way because they’re usually not dealing with the same level of rejection or doing most of the heavy lifting upfront. For men, adopting that mindset isn’t just good advice—it’s self-preservation. Keeps you from burning out before you even get started. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:47 AM |
| 1 | 4B and MGTOW are the exact same.I get the point you’re making, but I think you’re kind of proving mine. If a movement like 4B can’t gain traction beyond a niche group—even in places where it should have the most support—it raises questions about its actual influence and legitimacy, at least on a broader scale. And yeah, there will always be people who support systems that don’t necessarily benefit them, but bringing up something as extreme as Jews or gay people supporting Nazis kind of derails the conversation. We’re talking a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I kind of get what you’re saying, but I think you’re reading “detachment” as if it means staying emotionally cold forever. That’s not it. It’s about pacing yourself. Too many guys pour everything into a situation before they even know if it’s mutual, and that’s how they burn out or end up bitter. You do invest—but you invest when it makes sense. When she shows real interest, when things are actually progressing. Detachment just keeps you from jumping the gun and handing over emotional energy to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:40 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Agree with the “detached from the outcome” idea, but I’m also talking about managing your emotional energy early on in dating. It’s not about being cold to the person—it’s about protecting yourself from burnout or emotional overload. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:36 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.You got it bro. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:35 AM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Ok. My point stands. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 09:57 AM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Great. My point stands | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 06:47 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I’m not saying to ignore women or sit back and do nothing. I’m saying that men need to manage their emotional energy and avoid over-investing too early, especially in a system where rejection is common. Detachment isn’t about apathy but about not burning out and keeping a level head during the process. Love the hostility though. Very funny 😆 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 05:21 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Blaming other men doesn’t change the reality that emotional discipline is key. Detachment helps men manage rejection and uncertainty, regardless of what other men are doing. It's about protecting your emotional energy, not avoiding intimacy or turning dating into something transactional. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 05:07 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.That’s not the point I’m making. Emotional discipline isn’t about objectifying women or avoiding real relationships. It’s about managing your emotions in a system where rejection and uncertainty are common, so you don’t burn out too early. There’s a big difference between detachment for self-preservation and detachment for avoidance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:48 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Well said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:46 PM |
| 3 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.There we go. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:46 PM |
| 6 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I made this male specific for a reason as the key difference is that men are the ones doing all the emotional labour upfront. They’re the ones initiating, facing constant rejection, and putting in the effort often times without the same level of reciprocation. That’s why detachment is crucial for men. If they don’t stay emotionally disciplined, they’ll burn out long before they even get to the relationship phase. Both sides need to be cautious, but the struggles men face are unique. Detachment i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:42 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I agree—emotional investment before there’s any clear success is never a good idea for anyone. But the key difference here is that men are doing the heavy lifting early on. They're initiating, putting in the effort, and facing rejection from the start. That’s why detachment is even more important for them. It’s not just about avoiding emotional investment but about managing that emotional energy so they don’t burn out or become jaded early in the process. It’s a different experience, and that’s … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:28 PM |
| 0 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Interesting. I get your frustration—sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort you put in, nothing changes. But when I say "numbers game," I’m talking about the basic reality of how dating works for most people. It’s not some overblown concept—it’s simply the fact that dating often requires a lot of attempts, dealing with rejection, and putting yourself out there until you find someone who’s truly compatible. The "numbers" aren’t about the quantity of dates, but the fact that rejection an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:27 PM |
| 5 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Fair point, but most people don’t have that early “high school/college” success. For the majority, early dating is a numbers game, and detachment is key to staying level-headed and avoiding burnout. Long-term relationships happen, but the process to get there still requires emotional control. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:15 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Sure but the emotional labour is different. Men are the ones doing the heavy lifting early on, and that’s why the detachment im suggesting matters more for them. It’s not the same experience for both sides. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:10 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I think you're right about the timing—it can vary from person to person. For me, the key is that detachment throughout the process is what keeps you from burning out. It’s not about when dating starts or ends; it’s about managing your emotions and expectations at every stage. Whether it’s before or during the dating phase, emotional discipline helps you avoid over-investing too early and protects your energy from the start to finish. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:07 PM |
| 8 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I hear you, but this isn’t about relationships or long-term burnout. My point is focused on the early dating phase, where men typically face more rejection and have to put in more effort upfront. That’s where detachment matters. I made a conscious choice not to bring relationships into this because what I’m suggesting wouldn’t be healthy in that context. But for men, it’s crucial early on, given the unique struggles we face in the dating market. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 04:00 PM |
| 6 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Maybe this feeling is a sign that it’s time to step back from dating for a bit. Live your life without the pressure of trying to make things work with someone. Focus on your passions, your growth, and your enjoyment, and if dating comes back into your life later, it’ll be from a much stronger, healthier place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:53 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I agree, being selective helps, but the reality is you can’t always control how someone responds. Rejection isn’t about picking the wrong person but about how you handle it. The mindset I’m talking about doesn’t just apply to casting a wide net, it’s about handling the rejection you get, no matter who it’s from. If you’re overly invested in every single “no,” you burn out. Detachment helps you stay in the game regardless of who you’re talking to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I agree with you on focusing effort in the right places, but that’s exactly why emotional detachment early on is important. You’re not forcing effort where it’s not wanted, and you’re not draining your own energy. You get to know someone over time without suffocating them, and if it doesn't work out, which is likely for a lot of dudes, you can easily transition to the next dating option. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:44 PM |
| 0 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.You’re still confusing compatibility with rejection of identity. Whether it’s because of looks, interests, or personality traits, those things aren’t your core identity—they’re surface-level features. Rejection doesn’t always say something about who you are as a person. If you choose to take it personally every time, that’s on you. Detachment is a tool to keep from spiraling into bitterness. You either learn to handle rejection healthily, or you let it define you. If you’re stuck on seeing it as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:39 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Agreed, detachment is important for both men and women early on to stay alert and avoid wasting time. But for men, detachment is even more critical because they’re often putting in more effort and facing a lot more rejection. If they don’t stay emotionally disciplined, they risk burning out faster. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Got it. Appreciate the clarification. And yeah, it’s always possible to get bitter if you’re not managing your mindset. That’s why I push detachment and emotional control so hard—without them, things can go south fast. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:35 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Self-improvement helps, but no guy’s rejection rate ever drops to zero. The mindset shift that i am suggesting is what keeps you in the game when rejection’s part of the process. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:33 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Love to hear it. Thank you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Love to hear it. Thank you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:31 PM |
| -1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.No, bitterness isn’t inevitable. It’s a choice. Guys who can’t separate rejection from their identity will spiral. Guys who can control their emotions won’t. That’s on them. I have empathy for my fellow guys but stuff like this is where I have to draw the line. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:12 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.That’s the behaviour of men who are too emotionally invested in strangers and expect something in return for effort they chose to give. Detachment stops that before it starts. You don’t feel owed anything if you’re not chasing validation in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:10 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.You keep framing this like your personal interpretation of rejection is universal truth. It’s not. Rejection can be about compatibility without it being an attack on your core identity. That’s not a delusion—that’s emotional discipline. Plenty of people handle rejection without tying it to their self-worth. You either develop that ability, or you let every “no” chip away at you until you’re bitter and defeated. That’s a choice. And yeah, dating is a numbers game. Which is exactly why you can’t a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:07 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.This isn’t about flipping a magical switch from detached to fully invested. It’s about pacing emotional investment properly. You can stay level-headed and detached in the early stages while still being capable of emotional connection later. Detachment in dating isn’t zero investment—it’s controlled investment. You’re filtering, not shutting off. I’m not advocating for apathy. I’m advocating for emotional discipline. There’s a huge difference between refusing to emotionally invest and WAITING unt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:04 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Exactly and that’s why guys need to detach early. If you’ve been rejected 50 times, you’re either going to care way too much and let it wreck you, or you’ll naturally start to care less just to protect yourself. I’m saying it’s smarter to get ahead of that and detach by choice, not after getting crushed by the process. Otherwise, you risk turning that frustration into bitterness or checking out completely (which I'm not entirely opposed to). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:00 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Women might have had to kiss a lot of frogs, but they didn’t have to be the frogs, lining up and hoping for a shot. Men are the ones who make the effort just to get in the door. Different energy. Different consequences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Fair enough. And I agree—it would benefit everyone. Men wouldn’t burn out, and women wouldn’t have to deal with guys over-investing too early or getting bitter when it doesn’t work out. Detachment helps both sides, but I'd argue for men, it’s often about self preservation in a system that asks them to carry most of the effort upfront. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:55 PM |
| 5 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.At the start, you are strangers. You’re both evaluating each other to see if there’s potential. There’s no emotional investment owed on either side. That’s why viewing early dating as a numbers game makes sense—until someone stands out, they’re all just potential. Acting like they’re more than that before they’ve shown you they are is exactly how guys over-invest and burn out. Calling that “commodifying” is just framing reality in an emotional way to make it sound worse than it is. Nobody cries … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:49 PM |
| 2 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.You’re confusing rejection of compatibility with rejection of identity. Two people not clicking doesn’t mean you’re being rejected for who you are as a person. That’s your interpretation, not reality. Detachment is the ability to recognize that and move on without tying your entire sense of self to whether or not one person wants you. That’s not delusion—that’s emotional discipline. What is delusional is believing that every rejection is some absolute statement about your worth as a human being.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:38 PM |
| 3 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Fair enough | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:36 PM |
| 23 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Sure, but it’s not the same. Men and women have completely different experiences in dating. Men are usually the ones doing most of the heavy lifting—approaching, initiating, and dealing with constant rejection. So when men over-invest, they’re often burning themselves out chasing people who have way more options and way less incentive to reciprocate. It’s not an even playing field, and pretending it is doesn’t help anyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Resilience and detachment aren’t opposites. Detachment is a PART of resilience, especially in dating. If a man can’t stay level-headed in such a brutal environment, he'll burn out—simple as that. I want to make sure you understand this isn't about apathy but calculated care if you could call it that. Resilient men are detached because they don’t fall apart over rejection. They keep moving without losing their sense of self. And just to be clear, you can stay emotionally available without throwin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:33 PM |
| 19 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Exactly. Early on, too many guys focus on convincing someone to like them instead of figuring out if that person’s even worth the effort. That’s where guys burn out or lose self-respect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:26 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.There’s a difference between “caring less” and “giving up.” The guys checked out completely aren’t even in the game. I’m talking about guys who keep showing up, but don’t tie their self-worth to every single interaction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:25 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Bingo | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:22 PM |
| 3 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.You’re framing this like the only two options are total emotional investment or complete delusion. That’s nonsense. Detachment isn’t about shutting off your humanity but about controlling where you put your energy. You either take rejection personally and spiral, or you move on. Calling that “delusion” just sounds like a cope for people who’ve already checked out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:22 PM |
| 14 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Absolutely. I use a multi-phase Decision Optimization Framework (DOF) to streamline the interaction process. It starts with Initial Candidate Acquisition (ICA), primarily sourced via high-volume social vectoring and proximity-based reconnaissance. From there, I run a Preliminary Interest Assessment (PIA), which involves a weighted scoring algorithm factoring in response latency (RLT), enthusiasm variance (EV), and reciprocal question ratio (RQR). Once a candidate reaches the 75th percentile thre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:20 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Sure. But if a man needs to be told women are people with their own agency, he’s not ready to be dating in the first place. That’s a different problem. They’ve got a lot more work to do before what im saying even applies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:17 PM |
| 24 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Yeah, it’s brutal. That’s why men can’t afford to over-invest emotionally or waste energy chasing validation. You either stay in control or get crushed by the process. Detachment is survival. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:13 PM |
| 7 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.But the reality is, for a lot of guys, the process isn’t fun—and if you care too much, you’ll burn out fast. Caring less isn’t about apathy but about self-preservation in what's a very brutal environment for a lot of men. A mindset shift is necessary, in my opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:09 PM |
| 33 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Nailed it. Detachment in this sense isn’t about being cold forever, though it’s about protecting yourself until there’s something real to invest in. Otherwise, you end up frustrated and drained, like you said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:02 PM |
| 6 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Effort and emotional detachment aren’t opposites. You can care about showing up, improving yourself, and meeting people—without being emotionally tied to the result every time. That’s what keeps you consistent. Guys burn out because they care too much about each outcome. The numbers game works when you stop chasing and start filtering. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Well done | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:59 PM |
| 6 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.That’s fair. I see “caring less” as the mindset that makes it easier to be frugal with your time. When you’re not overly invested, you’re quicker to move on from people who aren’t showing genuine interest. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:58 PM |
| 7 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Reciprocating interest isn’t the issue. The problem is when men over-invest before there’s any real signal to do so. If a woman’s clearly interested and the energy is mutual, you match it. Simple. But most guys aren’t in that position off the bat. They’re chasing, overthinking, and putting women on pedestals who haven’t earned it. That’s where detachment matters. It’s not about being apathetic per say but ensuring you're not moving like you’re desperate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:55 PM |
| 5 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.No. What im advocating for is a genuine mindset shift. A lot of guys fixate or obsess because they’re over-invested too early. Detachment, in this context, is about learning to value yourself enough not to over-pursue. It’s not about pretending but about genuinely not needing a specific outcome to feel validated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:52 PM |
| 13 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.For the average guy, dating isn’t overwhelmingly fun. It’s a grind that involves a lot of rejection, ghosting, and effort with very little payoff. That wears on people over time. The mindset I’m talking about is less about “commodifying” dating and more about self-preservation. It’s a way to stay grounded and not let the early stages of dating drain you or make you jaded. When you stay detached, you’re protecting your energy and filtering for people who are genuinely interested—without over-inve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:49 PM |
| 10 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Early dating is where the kind of detachment I’m talking about matters most, in my opinion. But yeah, once you’re actually in a relationship, things should definitely go both ways. The reason I encourage this approach is because, for the average guy, dating involves a lot of rejection. If you get too emotionally invested too early, you’re setting yourself up to burn out or get jaded. So staying detached at the start is just self-preservation. I don’t really expect women to fully understand that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:44 PM |
| 0 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.Exactly. It worked because it got guys moving, not because of magic lines or tactics. Volume and detachment are what make the difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:40 PM |
| 4 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I think I get what you’re saying, but just to be sure are you saying red-pilled men fail because they’re overly invested ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:37 PM |
| – | Women ARE wonderfulFemcel propaganda disguised as social commentary. It’s a shallow, intellectually bankrupt rant that relies on cherry-picked stats and tired stereotypes to push the idea that men are society’s problem. No nuance, no critical thought just weaponised bitterness fueling an endless gender war. If this is your idea of logic, no wonder the conversation between men and women is falling apart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 12:26 PM |
| 2 | 4B and MGTOW are the exact same.I agree to an extent, but at the end of the day, both movements highlight how hard it is for people to truly move on without defining themselves in opposition to the other side. And honestly, 4B loses a lot of its legitimacy when it tries to manifest in countries like the US. You just have to look at the electoral data—most white women still voted for Trump. So, how much of a movement is it really? Just like MGTOW, 4B seems to be a small minority. That’s why the comparison makes sense to me. The… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 07:32 AM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.No, I mean you forcing your interpretation onto my words, even after I clarified. You know exactly what I’m saying—you’re just pretending not to because it’s easier than addressing the actual point. Notice when you tell me what I meant. "You meant" Forced. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 11:20 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.I was. You’re the one who kept dragging it into semantics and twisting my words. I literally said at one point “You’ve chosen to ignore that because it’s easier to focus on twisting my words than engage with the broader point about dating market dynamics.” You ignored this and kept going in circles. So don’t act surprised we’re not on the original topic—look at who steered it off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 11:18 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Incorrect. I was more than willing to get back on topic—you chose not to. Let’s not pretend otherwise. Use your screenshotting abilities and go back and you'll see me express multiple times to go back OP's original topic of discussion. For example: "At this point, it’s obvious you’re more interested in scoring points than having an actual discussion.” “I’ve been clear about my points. If you’re more focused on tone and semantics than engaging with the actual argument, that’s on you.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 11:16 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.A trend describes observable patterns within a group. A generalisation, especially the way you’ve framed it, makes assumptions about individuals based on that trend. You’re deliberately blurring the two because it makes your argument easier. But they aren’t the same, and you know it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 11:10 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketIncorrect. I wanted to discuss OP's post. Kind of how this works... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 11:09 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Because what you called a clarification wasn’t one. It was you repeating your own forced interpretation. I asked again to give you the chance to actually engage with what I was saying—you chose not to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 10:35 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Thank you for continuing to highlight how poorly you've been arguing. I've never seen someone be so honest about this. Love to see it. You can call it a figure of speech all you want, but it doesn’t change what you did. You assigned intent to me, insisted your interpretation was the only valid one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 10:33 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Announcing you “won” doesn’t actually mean you did, unfortunately. But if that’s what you need to tell yourself, have at it. I’ve made my points. Unfortunately, you couldn't debate them, so you resorted to whatever this was. Notice you derailed and despite my willingness to stay on topic refused to discuss OP's topic. Not a good sign. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 10:30 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.There’s a clear difference between analysing trends within a group and making a blanket statement about every individual in that group. You’ve deliberately ignored that distinction because it suits the argument you want to have—not the one I’m actually making. If you think that’s a win, congratulations. Declaring victory after refusing to engage with the actual argument is about as far from a debate win as it gets, but hey. I can tell you need this bad! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 10:28 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketI’ve already explained this. You like to sift through comments and screenshot stuff so you should put that special skill to use and catch yourself up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 10:26 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Discussing a trend is not the same as making a blanket statement about “women in general” the way you’re framing it. You keep pretending they’re the same thing, even after I explained the difference. Repeating “that proves me right” doesn’t actually make it true unfortunately sorry! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:49 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.There’s nothing hypocritical about clarifying what I meant by “force” and staying consistent with that explanation. You’re the one who refused to accept clarification, pushed your own interpretation, and now claim victory because you repeated it enough times. Saying “honesty is right here” doesn’t make it so. At this point, you’re not engaging in good faith—you’re just trying to twist words to save face. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:47 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You weren’t using a figure of speech. You were assigning intent and claiming authority over what I meant, even after I corrected you. Big difference. But if pretending it’s the same thing helps you feel better about it, go for it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:46 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You keep calling it clarification, but it was just you repeating your own interpretation—no matter how many times I corrected it. At this point, you’re just looping | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:45 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketYou keep repeating the same line about semantics and ignoring the actual argument I’ve made since the start. Clarification doesn’t mean agreeing with your interpretation—it means explaining my position, which I’ve done. Repeatedly. You’ve chosen to ignore that because it’s easier to focus on twisting my words than engage with the broader point about dating market dynamics. Lets see you move the conversation forward. If you’re more interested in misrepresenting me than having an honest discussion… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:43 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.If calling out your blatant lie is ‘spinning,’ sure. You’re welcome to think whatever helps you sleep at night. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:39 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Repeating your interpretation isn’t clarification. You decided what I meant and stuck to it, even after I corrected you. That’s not clarification—it’s projection. But if you think posting screenshots of yourself doing that proves something, that’s kind of funny. Notice how you tell me what I meant. "You meant". Thank you for highlighting your bad faith arguing. It's surprisingly honest of you! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:32 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You “clarified” by repeating the same misrepresentation, even after I corrected you. That’s not good faith, no matter how many times you claim it is. I’ve said what I needed to say. You can keep going in circles though. It's funny and cute to watch 😆 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:15 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Quoting an article doesn’t change the fact you lied about what I said. You were given an opportunity to then prove that i said what you claimed but predictably couldn't. I don't get your concern about tone policing than actually addressing the argument, but it's cute. You lied making you a... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:13 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Cool article you claimed I said something that I didn't and then couldn't provide proof of what you claimed I said. You lied. Whether you like the word "liar" or not doesn’t change that. You keep saying I “cornered” you, when all I did was clarify my position and challenge your interpretation. That’s not a trap—that’s a discussion. You can call that bad faith if you want, but it doesn’t make it true. I’ve been clear about my points. If you’re more focused on tone and semantics than engaging with… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:10 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketYou “explained” by repeatedly insisting your interpretation was the only valid one, even after I clarified my position. That’s not good faith—that’s trying to box me into your narrative. I’ve kept my focus on the argument, clarified my points, and stayed consistent. You can keep pretending otherwise, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:06 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.If you think pointing out misrepresentation and clarifying my stance is “fixating on semantics,” that’s your take. I’ve made my points clear. You’re free to keep spinning this however you like though! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:04 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.If you think pointing out misrepresentation and clarifying my stance is “fixating on semantics,” that’s your take. I’ve made my points clear. You’re free to keep spinning this however you like though! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:04 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Clarifying when asked is exactly how conversations work. Expecting people to preemptively explain every single word is unrealistic—and you wouldn’t hold yourself to that standard. And no, it’s not doublespeak. It’s you deliberately twisting a clear explanation because it suits your argument. I’ve made my point, I’ve clarified my terms, and you’re still pretending otherwise. That’s not on me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:03 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketI’ve explained myself clearly, multiple times. Just because you don’t like the explanation doesn’t mean it wasn’t given. You keep accusing me of things while ignoring your own double standard. I’m not going to keep repeating myself so you can run in circles. If you’re ready to have an actual conversation about the points I raised, let me know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:19 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.The difference is, I clarified what I meant by “force” (which I usually wouldn't have to). You’re the one insisting on pushing your interpretation of my words, even after I’ve explained otherwise. That’s why I called it dishonest. Using figures of speech isn’t the issue (which you've not been doing). Lying is 👎 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:18 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.There’s no cop out here. I’ve been clear from the start about what I’m saying and what I’m not. You’re the one fixated on forcing your interpretation to be “correct,” even after I’ve explained otherwise. At this point, it’s obvious you’re more interested in scoring points than having an actual discussion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:15 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketSimple difference: I’ve explained exactly what I meant by “force” and clarified it wasn’t literal which I shouldn't have to do considering the context it was said in. You’re the one insisting your interpretation of my words is the only valid one—after I clarified. That’s why I called it dishonest. If you had asked me what I meant and then accepted the clarification, we wouldn’t be here. Instead, you’re doubling down because it suits your argument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:14 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You’re demanding an exact number as if that’s what makes or breaks the argument. It doesn’t. Social trends don’t require me to quantify an exact percentage of women for the pattern to be real. That’s not dishonesty—that’s how discussions about societal dynamics work. You can keep trying to twist it, but I’ve been clear from the start. If you think repeating yourself changes that, go ahead. I’m more interested in discussing the bigger picture than getting dragged into your semantics. Also, liars … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:12 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.I’ve been clear and direct. If you’re mistaking that for aggression, that’s on you. I’m here discussing ideas, and I’ve laid out my points multiple times. If you’d rather focus on tone instead of substance, that’s your choice. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve repeatedly avoided addressing the argument itself. Let me know when you’re ready to get back to that. Also "name calling"? Really? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:10 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketI’m not fixated on anything—you are. You keep obsessing over your interpretation instead of engaging with the point I’ve made from the start. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:07 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketYou’re the one who’s been twisting my words from the start, so if you feel that’s been returned, maybe take a step back and think about why. At the end of the day, I’ve stayed on topic. I’ve laid out clear points about trends in the dating market and the dynamics at play. If you want to keep making this personal, that’s your choice—but I’m here to discuss ideas, not play endless games over tone. Let me know when you’re ready for that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:06 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.I mean the trends that are clearly visible in the dating market. Trends don’t require precise percentages to be valid—they describe noticeable patterns and shifts in behaviour. You’re obsessed with trying to pin me down to “all” or “a minority” because it’s easier than addressing the broader point. But that’s not how these discussions work. Social trends often reflect the behaviour of a critical mass, not every individual. If you want to keep playing the semantics game, be my guest. I’ll stick t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:05 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.I said forcing balance—but not in the ridiculous, authoritarian sense you’re trying to spin it into. Any meaningful shift in society has to be driven by action. Women didn’t make progress by sitting back and hoping things would change—they pushed for it. They forced society to re-evaluate old dynamics. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just how social change works. In this case, men stepping back from a system that doesn’t benefit them apply pressure. That’s how balance is restored—through people mak… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:03 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You’re still stuck on this idea that I have to frame it the way you want, or my argument doesn’t hold. That’s not how this works. I’m discussing broad trends in the dating market. Trends don’t require “all” or “almost all” to be valid—they just describe what’s happening on a larger scale. And you know that. You’re just pretending not to because it’s easier than engaging with the actual point. But hey, if misrepresenting what I’m saying makes you feel like you’ve “won” something, go for it 🫡 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:00 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketNo, it’s not bad faith—it’s just not the narrative you want me to be pushing. I’m talking about trends in dating dynamics, not issuing a blanket statement about all Western women, which i would gladly say straight up if that's what i meant. This is obvious to everyone but you. I don’t need a disclaimer because reasonable people can engage in these conversations without pretending every statement needs a footnote. You’ve decided I’m saying something I’m not, and you keep repeating it because it’s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:58 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.No what I mean is clear to everyone but you for some reason. You’re intent on forcing your own interpretation onto my words. That’s on you. If you need to twist what I’m saying to make your point, it says more about your argument than mine. As for your “questions,” I’ll engage in good faith when it’s clear that’s what you’re offering. But right now, it’s clear you’re more interested in assigning bad motives than actually discussing ideas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:51 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.No, you’re making assumptions and trying to put words in my mouth. When I talk about women in this context, I’m referring to broad trends in the dating market, not every individual woman. That’s how discussions about social dynamics work—you talk about patterns. If I was making a blanket statement about all women, I’d say all women. But you’re choosing to read it that way because it fits the narrative you want to argue against. As for “forcing balance”—nobody is forcing anything. If men opt out … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:48 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.If I meant all women, I would have said all women. 😁 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:46 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketWhy do I need a disclaimer? Since when has that been a requirement? Especially considering you're the only person with an issue here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:45 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.If I meant all women, i would have said all women. You'll get it soon, don't worry. I just need to keep repeating my self. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:44 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.No as I would have said "all women." 😄 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:41 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Nothing about me or OP’s post is advocating for women to be punished. I genuinely don’t understand how advocating for a more equal dating market—by men choosing to step away—somehow “punishes” women. Also, I’m not going to let you make things up. There’s no deflection here. If you’re not prepared for pushback, or mature enough to handle it, don’t resort to lies. Cheers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:32 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.If that’s not a lie, then show me where I ever said "all women," like you claimed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:18 PM |
| 2 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.That’s a flawed comparison. Success isn’t a single race with one finish line—life isn’t just about relationships. If you’re thriving in your health, career, passions, and friendships, you're not 'coming in last,' you're winning on multiple fronts. Reducing life’s value to whether or not you’re in a relationship is exactly the societal mindset I’m arguing against. People should be able to live complete, successful lives without it being measured by their relationship status. This is a really odd … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:11 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.So you lied when you claimed I said "all women"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 07:08 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.So you lied when you claimed I said "all women"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 06:37 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Your claim: "Now you’ve moved the goalposts from “all women” To “women who don’t value us”." Please provide evidence of me saying "all women". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 05:52 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You keep arguing against points I’m not making. Nowhere did I say women go into every encounter seeking commitment. What I said is that confusing sexual attention for genuine interest in commitment is a common mistake, especially for women who’ve become accustomed to consistent attention. It’s not about “wanting to marry every man they date”—it’s about misreading what that attention actually means in terms of long-term prospects. You brought up divorce rates. Sure, women initiate more divorces. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 03:06 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Quote me saying "all women" as you claimed I did. I'll wait. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 03:03 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You keep throwing around "red pill revenge fantasy" as if dismissing the argument makes it go away. It doesn't. You’re describing exactly what I’m talking about: women filter out most sexual attention because it’s from men they wouldn’t consider dating. But that’s the point—when women are constantly inundated with attention, even from men they don’t want, it can skew their perception of how much genuine long-term interest they actually attract. Being wanted for sex doesn’t always translate into … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 02:32 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You have failed to quote me saying "all women". I assume you're not taking this seriously and joking around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 02:29 PM |
| 4 | I’m a man and I can see it. Why are women’s standards considered problematic and isnt it hypocritical for guys to complain about them ?Agreed | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 02:21 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Unfortunately you're picking at the wrong thread. Whether a woman is seeking long-term commitment or not doesn’t change the point: many conflate sexual attention with actual desirability in the relationship space. And yes, that misunderstanding often shows itself when they do look for something serious—especially as time goes on. You’re right that men compete with other men and women compete with other women. That’s exactly what a market is—groups vying for limited attention and commitment from … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 02:13 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Ugh, this is such a reach. Saying this isn’t punishment—it’s holding women to the standard they say they believe in. If women don’t actually want equality such as yourself, then yeah, you're going to wrongly interpret OP's post as “punishment.” That’s not on men, though. It's funny how expecting fairness is suddenly seen as an attack when it stops being convenient. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 02:07 PM |
| 0 | 4B and MGTOW are the exact same.Right | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:46 AM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You’re arguing against a position I didn’t take. Nowhere did I say a man who struggles in dating is “worthless.” What I did say is that many women mistake the amount of sexual attention they receive for their overall value in the dating market, which often leads to misguided expectations when it comes to securing long-term commitment. That’s an observation about behaviour, not an appraisal of anyone’s humanity. You’re free to dislike terms like “market,” but let’s be real—there is a competitive … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:37 AM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Yes, and women often conflate their value in the dating market with the seuxal attention men give them, which is a mistake and shows an ignorance to male sexuality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:04 AM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.I'm not 👍 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:39 AM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.No they refuse to acknowledge social factors at play. If you read our comments you would see that. I brought it up and they still insist on arguing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:36 AM |
| 3 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.That shouldn't be hard. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:34 AM |
| 1 | 4B and MGTOW are the exact same.Nah, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m pointing out the disconnect between how a movement is like 4B brands itself and the broader behaviour of women in general, especially when it comes to politics. 4B presents as this strong ideological stance, but when you look at voting patterns or political engagement, there’s often a gap between the feminist label and consistent action that supports it. I’m not saying 4B women are out here voting for Trump. I’m saying the broader picture is more complicated,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:28 AM |
| 3 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Yes I am or at least they should be assuming they aren't faltering in other aspects of their life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 08:25 AM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You keep saying "there’s nothing to justify," but that’s the whole point—when you strip everything down to "biology says so," you’re justifying a reductive view of human behavior by ignoring the complexity of social dynamics. That’s not a "false equivalence"; it’s pointing out that you're making sweeping claims based on biology and pretending that’s the whole story. And repeating "men want women more than women want men" like it’s an undisputed fact? That IS a worldview. You’re just not calling … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 05:17 PM |
| 3 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.And what exactly are women doing? Sitting around happily committing to their “looksmatch”? Come on. Women aren’t lining up for average guys—they’re chasing the top 10-20%, then turning around and blaming men when it doesn’t work out. Meanwhile, the average guys they ignored are told to “lower their standards” and commit no matter what? Sounds like a one-way street. Men are waking up to the fact that being “loyal” and “happy” in a lopsided deal isn’t worth it. Commitment isn’t a prize handed out … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 05:14 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.You keep insisting that you're just pointing out "biological differences," but the second you start using those differences to explain away complex social dynamics, it stops being just biology and starts sounding a lot like red pill determinism—whether you like it or not. You accuse me of parroting red pill rhetoric because I mention hypergamy or shifting standards, but those are observable patterns in human behaviour that don't require red pill ideology to acknowledge. It’s called evolutionary … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 05:10 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.The way you're clearly doing it IS. No need to try and trivialise my argument. If you can make claims about what I believe in, then I see no reason why I can't do the same with you. When you use those biological facts to justify a whole worldview about dating, relationships, and gender roles that is very red pill. It's not the biology itself that's the issue; it's how people like you use it as a springboard and start building a narrative around it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 04:54 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.And I think it shouldn't, at least to the extent it brings genuine feelings of shame. Do you disagree? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 04:49 PM |
| 0 | 4B and MGTOW are the exact same.I think in practise they both end up looking the same. In terms of 4b, it's hard to take seriously for me because when you look at the states and the recent election, there is a clear disconnect between the feminist label and actual political behaviour | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 04:48 PM |
| 22 | 4B and MGTOW are the exact same.At their core, 4B and MGTOW do share a pretty similar premise: stepping away from traditional relationships as a form of self-preservation or protest. Both movements are about opting out. But in practice, they play out pretty differently. With MGTOW, I’ve always thought there was a lot of potential. The core idea of de-centering women and focusing on building your own life is something I’ve tried to advocate for. But anytime I talk about it, there’s pushback from both sides. Red pill guys accuse… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 04:34 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Right back at you. Settling for the "its biology" argument is like I already said peak red pill manospher rhetoric..... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 04:07 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Neither am I—and I despise red pill ideology, which is ironic, because it appears you don’t? Your argument hinges on biological determinism, the exact foundation of red pill rhetoric… "It's due to biology" is a classic line I've seen used by RP followers. Not budging from that view point and putting too much faith in it is also a very common red pill behaviour... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 04:01 PM |
| 3 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.That’s a neat narrative, but it doesn’t hold up. If men were truly as “indiscriminate and threatening” as you claim, women wouldn’t be chasing after the top percentage of those same men. Hypergamy exists for a reason—women gravitate toward status, power, and validation because it benefits them, not because they’re scared of it. And calling it “male solipsism” is just a lazy deflection. Men aren’t projecting; they’re watching the same patterns play out over and over. Female behavior does shift ba… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:53 PM |
| 5 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Please quote me where I specifically state "all women." You've put it into quotations, and I'm sure you wouldn't make it up. Pretending most women aren’t benefiting from the current unequal dating setup is just denial though.The point stands—men should step back from a system that doesn’t serve them. Call it boundaries, call it standards. Either way, it should happen. No one is being punished, though, and OP puts most of the expectation and responsibility on men to change, not women, as you guys… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:47 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Deflecting. Pointing out a broken system and calling out double standards isn’t “aggressive,” it’s just direct. And yeah, a lot of men want slim, attractive women—no one’s denying that. But that doesn’t change the bigger point: when men chase women who don’t respect them, they lose. Whether it’s Jane or Stacy, the problem isn’t who they’re after, it’s how they’re playing the game. Walking away isn’t about being sad over any specific woman. It’s about not entertaining a rigged setup at all and in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:41 PM |
| 4 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Come on, that’s a cop-out. Biology plays a role, sure, but you can’t pretend social dynamics and opportunity don’t majorly shape behaviour. If biology was the whole story, we wouldn’t see women’s standards shift based on access to attention and resources. Supply and demand absolutely affects dating—take away the endless validation and options, and the attitude changes real fast. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:39 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Incorrect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:36 PM |
| 5 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.To what extent should any of that matter? We don't live for other people, or at least we shouldn't. That's the problem. It affects no one, yet we label singledom in the ways you just did. It's ridiculous. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:36 PM |
| 1 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Cool, at least you’re honest about not caring about equality. Most of you won’t admit that. But if you get that men’s standards have been warped, you should also get why a lot of guys are checking out completely and why encouraging that is good advice. The game’s rigged. Men lowering their standards hasn’t made dating better for them, it’s made them more disposable. That’s why walking away isn’t about crying over Stacies but about not playing a rigged game at all. And FYI, I don’t buy for a seco… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:34 PM |
| 5 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Nah, you’re reaching. There’s a difference between punishing and setting boundaries. OP is saying men should stop wasting energy on women who don’t value them (that's a lot of women). If women feel “punished” because they’re no longer benefiting from lopsided dating dynamics, that’s on them. That’s not punishment—that’s basic equality. Big difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:30 PM |
| 3 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Yeah, but that’s kinda the point. Whether it’s simping, chasing, or throwing out free validation, it’s all the same thing—guys handing over attention and energy to women who aren’t giving anything back. Doesn’t matter if it’s OnlyFans models or the “girl next door.” If she’s getting flooded with likes, comments, and dudes lining up to entertain her, why would she act any different? Men need to stop feeding the machine. Walk away. Focus on yourself. Let them figure out real quick they’re not as h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 03:27 PM |
| 11 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.That doesn't require any commitment or relationship with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 10:55 AM |
| 2 | Majority of "misandrists" are men.It’s often that validation from women is seen as more meaningful because of how society frames male worth. For a lot of guys, especially in dating culture, their value gets tied to whether women find them attractive or desirable. Compliments from men might be seen as friendly or respectful, but they don’t always scratch that deeper itch for validation. Also, men are often raised in environments where emotional expression and vulnerability aren’t encouraged between each other. So even if men resp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 10:41 AM |
| 5 | Majority of "misandrists" are men.That's not because of what's between their legs, though... This whole post is ridiculous and just another shallow attempt to protect women and demonise men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:55 AM |
| 4 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.By virtue of supply and demand, there inevitably would be change on women's side if a lot of men stopped dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:50 AM |
| 13 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.It would take hold if we stopped brainwashing people into feeling it's some moral failure to be single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:49 AM |
| 8 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Women like that will view any attempt for us to deprioritise them as "punishment." They always seem to start having an issue when posts like this get made. Strange stuff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:48 AM |
| 9 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.I mean yeah it's the title of their post. There's nothing to be inferred. Men setting stricter standards would force balance in the dating market, creating the equality women claim to want. If that’s genuinely the goal, there’s no reason for any woman to oppose what OP is suggesting. Unless, of course, equality isn’t actually what they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:46 AM |
| 48 | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.We need to stop treating being single like a failure and start building lives that don’t revolve around women. This shift has to happen on a societal level. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:43 AM |
| – | The best way to correct the dating market is for men to leave women alone.Agreed. The dating market is broken because men won’t walk away. As long as guys keep chasing women who don’t respect them, nothing changes. Most women aren’t incentivised to be better—they benefit from the current setup. If men stopped playing provider, entertainer, and emotional punching bag, a lot of women would be forced to rethink what they bring to the table. Until then, they won’t. Prioritise yourself. Stop chasing people who only see you as a resource. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/25 09:41 AM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotIf it’s just semantics, then we’re not actually disagreeing on the concept just the wording. But if the word ‘transactional’ accurately describes an exchange of value, why avoid it just because people associate it with something negative? People’s discomfort with the term doesn’t change the reality that relationships rely on mutual exchange. Rejecting the word because of connotation is just avoiding an uncomfortable truth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:17 PM |
| 0 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotA transaction is just an exchange money is just one form of value. Friendships and relationships involve ongoing exchanges of support, companionship, and effort. If relationships weren’t transactional in this broader sense, people wouldn’t leave when they stop getting what they need. The fact that reciprocity matters proves there’s an exchange happening, whether we use the word ‘transactional’ or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:16 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotJust because a word is commonly associated with something negative doesn’t mean it can’t be applied accurately in a broader sense. People resist calling relationships transactional because they associate the term with selfishness or cold calculation, but that’s just emotional framing. The fact remains: relationships function through ongoing exchanges of value, whether emotional, practical, or otherwise. The only issue here is that people don’t like how it sounds, not whether it’s true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:15 PM |
| 5 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotThe justification is simple: both involve an exchange of value. The difference isn’t whether a transaction happens but the nature of what’s being exchanged. A paid service involves money, while a friendship involves emotional support, companionship, and shared experiences. The fact that friendships end when reciprocity disappears proves that an exchange is at play, whether we call it ‘transactional’ or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:14 PM |
| 2 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotBut that’s just a connotation issue, not a flaw in the argument. Relationships, whether friendships, romance, or even parental bonds, all involve exchanges of value love, support, care, or security. Just because people don’t like the word doesn’t mean the reality changes. Reciprocity sustains relationships, whether we call it transactional or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:13 PM |
| 4 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotLiking someone is a form of value you get from the relationship. No one maintains friendships they actively dislike. The difference between a friendship and a paid service isn’t whether an exchange exists—it’s what’s being exchanged. Friendships are still based on reciprocity—support, companionship, and shared experiences. If one friend consistently takes without giving anything back, the friendship usually fades. The difference isn’t the presence of a transaction, just the nature of it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotAn ongoing exchange is still an exchange. Just because a relationship’s ‘transactions’ aren’t immediate or one-time doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Relationships involve continuous give-and-take—whether in love, support, or effort. If mutual benefit stops, so does the relationship. That’s proof that reciprocity—aka exchange—is the foundation. The only real disagreement here is terminology. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:02 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotYou’re focusing too much on a rigid, economic definition of ‘transaction’ rather than its broader meaning. At its core, a transaction is just an exchange of value. The difference is that in a business deal, the exchange is immediate and final, whereas in a relationship, it’s ongoing and evolving. A mother-child relationship, a friendship, and a romantic partnership all involve continuous exchanges of care, support, and commitment. If one side gives endlessly and gets nothing back emotionally or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:01 PM |
| 0 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotThe words' reputation is part of the problem, but that’s just a connotation issue, not a flaw in the argument. Transactions can be purely self-serving, but they can also be rooted in mutual care and long-term investment. A healthy relationship isn’t just about personal gain, but it still relies on an exchange—whether that’s love, support, or commitment. The fact that people resist calling it transactional just shows how much baggage the word carries, not that the concept is wrong. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 02:00 PM |
| 2 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotMutual benefit and transaction aren’t mutually exclusive. A transaction is just an exchange of value. Mutual benefit is the outcome of a successful one. Relationships function through ongoing exchanges of love, support, and effort. If mutual benefit disappears for too long, the relationship usually does, too. So what’s the real difference here, aside from how the word makes people feel? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotEh tat’s just a selective interpretation. ‘Transactional’ simply means based on exchange—it doesn’t inherently imply unfairness. A transaction can be equal, imbalanced, fair, or unfair. Relationships function on ongoing transactions of effort, support, and commitment. The fact that people only associate ‘transactional’ with something negative is exactly why they resist acknowledging this reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:55 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotIf you agree that every interaction involves some form of exchange, then what exactly is silly about acknowledging it? The wording is the only 'issue' here, and that's just shallow, in my opinion. Connotation shouldn't trump reality. As you're proving, even the most selfless acts provide something to the giver, whether consciously or not. We need to stop romanticising relationships so much that this needs to be debated. We're all in it for something. It's never not conditional. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:53 PM |
| 2 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotYou’re focusing too much on a narrow definition of ‘transaction’ rather than the core idea of mutual exchange. Yes, a transaction is often thought of as a one-time event, but fundamentally, it just means an exchange of value and relationships are ongoing exchanges. Calling relationships transactional isn’t about reducing them to cold business deals but about recognising that reciprocity sustains them. If love, respect, or companionship stop being reciprocated over time, the relationship suffers.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI get that ‘transactional’ has a negative connotation, but that doesn’t change the reality that relationships function through mutual exchange. Avoiding the word doesn’t make it less true. Relationships don’t have to be cold calculations, but they still rely on reciprocity—whether people call it transactional or not. Sounds like people need to stop demonising that word. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:38 PM |
| 2 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI agree that relationships shouldn’t be reduced to just transactions. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t fundamentally based on mutual exchange, even when that exchange isn’t perfectly balanced in the short term. Take your example of supporting a loved one through illness. Even if they can’t immediately ‘give back,’ the relationship still provides emotional fulfilment, loyalty, and a sense of purpose. The person staying isn’t just making a cold calculation, but they are still receiving something … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:28 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI see why it might sound reductive, but if we strip away the emotional connotation of the word, all we’re really talking about is mutual exchange. You say a relationship ‘should be mutually beneficial,’ but isn’t that just another way of saying both people have to get something out of it? If a relationship stopped being beneficial for one person, whether emotionally, financially, or otherwise, they would likely leave. That proves there’s an exchange happening, whether we call it transactional or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:25 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotRight. Love can endure past an imbalance for a while, especially if there’s a strong emotional foundation, but eventually, that imbalance catches up. I also agree that sexual desire is a major factor because, unlike emotional bonds, it tends to fluctuate more and isn’t always within a person’s control. That’s probably why so many long-term relationships struggle when sexual desire fades. People often realise how much of the relationship was anchored in that dynamic. So yeah, love exists, but it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:23 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI see what you’re saying, but I don’t think the distinction between subconscious/passive and conscious/active really undermines the core argument. Just because something isn’t always explicitly calculated doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. For example, someone in a healthy relationship might not constantly think, ‘I am exchanging emotional support for affection,’ but if that affection disappeared entirely, they would feel the loss and likely reconsider the relationship. That’s proof that an exchan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI think we mostly agree here. Love is real, and it can grow deeply, but even the strongest love still relies on a foundation of mutual exchange. If that foundation collapses if one partner stops giving entirely love, almost always fades. But I find the idea that love can ‘transcend’ transactionality as an appealing concept, but in practice, even the healthiest relationships still require ongoing effort, reciprocity, and care. So rather than love existing outside of transactions, I’d argue that l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:11 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotRight.That’s why I argue that all relationships are transactional at their core. The idea that a relationship requires mutual effort and reciprocity proves that there's always an exchange happening. People resist the term ‘transactional’ because it sounds cold, but as you said, if one person gives endlessly and gets nothing in return, the relationship falls apart. That shows that every relationship—whether romantic, familial, or platonic - depends on a balance of giving and receiving. I dont wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:06 PM |
| 1 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI think we’re really just exposing the same truth from different angles: relationships are always built on some form of exchange. The difference is that people don’t like to think of the ones they personally value as ‘transactional.’. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:03 PM |
| 3 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotMaybe, but I’d argue that even in the honeymoon phase, relationships are still transactional just in a more effortless way. Early on, both people are getting something in return: excitement, passion, validation, novelty, and the thrill of being desired. The difference is that during the honeymoon phase, the 'exchange' feels automatic because both partners are naturally eager to give. Over time, as the novelty fades, maintaining the relationship requires more conscious effort, but the underlying … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:02 PM |
| 3 | Relationships Are Always Transactional, Whether We Admit It or NotI don’t think recognising the transactional nature of relationships is inherently cynical. It’s just realistic. A transaction doesn’t have to be cold or exploitative it simply means there’s an exchange of value, whether it’s emotional support, companionship, shared goals etc. If recognising that relationships require mutual effort and reciprocity is "cynical,"then why do relationships fall apart when one person stops contributing? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 01:00 PM |
| 0 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.😆 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 03:49 PM |
| 2 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.Because a lot of you overanalyse and struggle with social awareness, making it difficult to engage without turning everything into an argument. This kind of rigid, hyper-literal thinking is a big reason why Reddit is so hostile. Your post is a perfect example—framing all women as inherently hating men and living a lie isn’t just factually absurd, it’s the kind of hyperbolic, bad-faith rhetoric that makes this platform unbearable. You’re not engaging in discussion; you’re presenting an emotionall… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 12:32 PM |
| 4 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.Oh that makes sense. You should put that on the post so people know not to take it seriously! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 07:56 AM |
| -2 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.Likewise. As a dude, if I listened to women here, I'd probably go down a very dark path. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 07:55 AM |
| 1 | Men should compensate for pregnancy and childbirthThis is an entitled, one-sided take that ignores reality. Yes, pregnancy and childbirth are physically demanding, but acting like men should be servile ATMs who give up their lives to "compensate" for it is absurd. Parenthood is a shared responsibility, not a punishment for men just because they don’t physically carry the child. Plenty of men work themselves to the bone to provide for their families while also being involved fathers. Meanwhile, plenty of women get significant social, medical, an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 07:51 AM |
| 1 | Men should compensate for pregnancy and childbirthThat’s a load of nonsense. If men were inherently bad fathers, humanity wouldn’t have made it this far. Blaming men for declining birthrates is ignorant when the reality is far more complex—economic instability, career priorities, societal shifts, and even environmental concerns all play bigger roles. Acting like women are “smart” for avoiding kids because of men is just self-righteous drivel. Plenty of men are excellent fathers, and plenty of women make awful mothers. Your logic is as weak as y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 07:48 AM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Thanks I guess... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.https://www.nsvrc.org/publications/NISVS-2010-summary-report?utm https://www.ussc.gov/research/research-reports/2023-demographic-differences-federal-sentencing?utm | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 09:04 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.There was nothing to "call me out" for—because you had nothing of substance to say about my actual post. Instead of engaging with my argument (you know, the only thing you should be talking about), you derailed the conversation to compensate for your complete lack of a valid response. Shame it didn’t work. The real issue here? You just can’t handle being disagreed with. Unfortunately for you, I’m not in the business of sugarcoating my words to spare fragile egos. Bluntness isn’t bullying, no mat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 08:23 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Ah, so now actual statistics are ‘cherry-picking’ while you provide absolutely nothing in return? Predictable. You asked for proof, I gave it to you. Instead of addressing it, you’re moving the goalposts. Here you go though. Curious how you'll weasle your way out of this one: Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) – Career demolished over an indecent exposure charge despite not harming anyone. Matthew Kelly – British TV presenter falsely accused of sexual offences; even though he was cleared, his reputat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 08:15 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.So you made a mistake. It happens. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 08:04 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Men expressing their experiences with female abusers had their comments taken down. There is not a single bit of bullying in my comments. Let this go, you don't have a point, and deep down, you know you don't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 08:03 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Women receive 29.2% shorter sentences than men for the same crimes. (US Sentencing Commission https://www.ussc.gov/research/research-reports/2023-demographic-differences-federal-sentencing?utm). Men are more likely to be arrested in DV situations, even when they’re the victims. (NISVS Reporthttps://www.nsvrc.org/publications/NISVS-2010-summary-report?utm). Mary Kay Letourneau raped a 12-year-old, and the media framed it as a ‘forbidden love story.’ Hope Solo repeatedly committed domestic violenc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 07:58 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Prove the mods here are heavily biased against women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No one is being bullied, but if I'm doing what you say I am doing, then I will be appropriately sanctioned. Any second now... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 07:30 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Derailing and refusing to argue the OP's point is derailing and, therefore, bad faith. Not to mention what the other user was doing once their attempt to ask me for proof failed. Again, for the 3rd time. Send what I said to the mods, and if it's verbal abuse, they will sanction me accordingly. I'll wait. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 07:18 PM |
| 6 | Why Are Attractive Men Assumed to Be Worse Partners?I think you're looking at this from the wrong angle. It's not about attractive men being inherently worse people or only committing to attractive women. The key factor is the level of difficulty they experience in the dating market. A highly attractive man has an easier time securing dates and relationships, so the idea of having to re-enter the dating market isn't as daunting for him. This means he’s less likely to feel a strong need to work through relationship difficulties or go above and bey… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:58 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Power protects itself, regardless of gender. But outside of the elite, the average man accused of abuse gets immediate backlash while the average woman gets sympathy, excuses, or gets to quietly move on. Your argument is just a collection of cherry-picked examples that only prove my point. Male abusers are instantly vilified. Female abusers get far more leeway. That’s not even debatable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:41 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Nah I'm getting tired of having to hand hold bad faith users to be honest. If you want the info you can find it. I've done enough on my end. You have nothing else constructive to say and didn't really have anything relevant to say to begin with considering my post and your avoidance of the topic at hand. Be grateful I even entertained your comment. Cheers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:39 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Nah, there was no ‘poor wording’ on my end. My post was clear—you just misinterpreted it because you were looking for something to argue against. That’s on you, not me. Now that you’ve got nowhere left to go, you’re trying to save face by pretending this was all just a misunderstanding. It wasn’t. You dragged this out, twisted my words, and only now, after exhausting every bad-faith angle, you ‘kind of agree.’ If you’d just been honest from the start instead of playing games, we wouldn’t have wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:53 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yeah, you’re ‘done’ because you ran out of ways to dodge the point. No one said men shouldn’t hold each other accountable the issue is that men already do face consequences, scrutiny, and public shaming. Meanwhile, women rarely do, and any attempt to hold them accountable gets watered down with ‘both sides’ nonsense like what you just pulled. You keep saying ‘both things can be true,’ but conveniently, the only time this ‘balance’ is needed is when women are the ones being criticized. Funny how … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:51 PM |
| 2 | A dual mating strategy is used by people who feel desperate…But it is men who are more likely to feel desperate.Your argument keeps shifting. First, you framed a dual mating strategy as something men do out of desperation, but now you’re saying it’s just about men wanting women’s company more. That’s not the same thing, and it’s a pretty weak justification for acting like men are the primary ones using this strategy. Your economic argument is also flawed. Yes, financial dependence can incentivize certain dating behaviors, but it’s not the only factor. Plenty of women in wealthy, stable countries still eng… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:49 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No, it’s not a ‘both sides’ thing. That’s just your way of diluting the conversation so women don’t have to take full accountability. When men are criticized, no one can jump in to say, ‘But women too!’ without being ridiclued, downvoted, and even banned from the discussion. The conversation is always allowed to be direct, one-sided, and brutal. But the second women are the focus, people like you scramble to soften the discussion and make it balanced. Sad. That’s not objectivity—that’s deflectio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Incorrect. Anything else ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:42 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.This is just pure delusion. You ‘see the opposite’? So you just conveniently ignore statistics, legal outcomes, and public reactions because it doesn’t fit your narrative? Abusers exist in both genders, but only one group gets universal condemnation while the other gets excuses. That’s the difference. Male abusers are publicly shamed, arrested, and treated as societal threats. Female abusers get softened narratives, sympathy, and in many cases, a complete pass. Your Amber Heard take is even wors… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:42 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Again go to the mods. If it's uncivil then they will handle me accordingly. I'll wait. "Wasn't until recently I had to admit to myself I was SA by a woman. Guess that's my own internalized idea I can't be a victim? I told her we weren't having sex, but they just kept on physically trying. Another guy in the house bear hug carried them away and I locked the door. I bet she doesn't consider what happened SA. Ugh" This is a comment I saved from a user before it was deleted by a mod. It's one of the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yeah, no shit. The difference is that society forces male abusers to recognize their actions as abuse, while female abusers get excuses, justifications, or outright denial that what they did was even wrong. That’s why women don’t see themselves as abusers—because they’ve never been forced to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:23 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Again go to the mods. If it's uncivil then they will handle me accordingly. I'll wait. FYI there's a mod in this very thread that deleted a bunch of responses from dudes in here detailing their experiences with female abusers. Your point ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:56 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You weren’t ‘agreeing’—you were trying to twist the conversation into a soft, neutral ‘both sides’ take instead of addressing the actual issue: women don’t face the same level of scrutiny and consequences as men. That’s what you were dodging, and that’s what I shut down. Now that there’s no wiggle room left, you’re playing the ‘Why are you arguing? I agreed!’ card. Classic bad faith. You weren’t here to agree—you were here to dilute the conversation so women never have to take full accountabilit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:46 PM |
| 2 | What it means to be settled for sexuallyThe feeling has never not been mutual. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:42 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Now you’re just grasping at straws. You keep pretending I said ‘always’ because it’s the only way you can argue against a point I never made. I never claimed ‘every’ female abuser gets excused, just like I never said ‘no’ male abusers escape punishment. But the overall trend is undeniable—women face less scrutiny, get lighter sentences, and are given more excuses. That’s not an opinion, that’s backed by data that you weren't to provide. All you have is an easy to fake anecdote. Where is your pro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:41 PM |
| 1 | What it means to be settled for sexuallyYou say that, but here you are—pressed, bothered, and typing out a response. If you ‘don’t notice,’ why are you so desperate to let me know? Reality check: the only people who scream ‘we don’t care’ are the ones who clearly do. Keep pretending, though. It’s cute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You didn’t ‘illustrate’ anything. You threw out a bunch of generic, out-of-context examples from a Healthline article and tried to shoehorn them into this discussion to avoid engaging with my actual point. That’s not proof—it’s just another attempt at reframing the argument so you don’t have to address the double standard. And let’s not pretend you’re calling out abuse in good faith. If holding women accountable is ‘abusive,’ then by your logic, every feminist space that trashes men daily is als… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:32 PM |
| 2 | What it means to be settled for sexuallyWomen being difficult. What a unique problem! /s You guys are very replaceable, and this will be even more true as time goes on. No one is worried about this except for the simps | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:27 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Absolutely not. I'd be banned or given a warning by the mods if it was. Go inform them if it is. I'll wait. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:24 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Arguing in bad faith like that other user was is. No one is being held accountable but them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:23 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Oh, so now you admit it’s different, but suddenly it’s ‘not that bad’? You went from denying it outright to now trying to downplay it because you got proven wrong. Classic bad faith move. Women getting arrested less, sentenced more lightly, and excused more often isn’t just ‘different’—it’s a systemic double standard. The fact that you’re still trying to minimize it shows you’re not interested in an honest discussion, just damage control. You can keep moving the goalposts, but at the end of the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Your entire response is just one long attempt to avoid engaging with my argument. Instead of addressing what I actually said, you’re trying to redirect the conversation to vague claims of ‘verbal abuse’ because you can’t refute the point. The fact that you had to pull up a Healthline article and cherry-pick generic examples to frame criticism as ‘abuse’ says it all. You’re not actually responding—you’re just trying to paint yourself as a victim to shut down the discussion. If calling out double … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:08 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Bad faith users don't deserve respectful communication This is also against subreddit rules. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:05 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Bad faith users don't deserve respectful communication. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:05 PM |
| 2 | What it means to be settled for sexuallyAgain that's their problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 04:02 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Because i see through what you’re doing. You're not agreeing—you’re just trying to reframe the argument to avoid confronting the double standard. Men already face scrutiny and consequences—women don’t. That’s just reality. And let’s be honest, women aren’t used to being called out without the conversation being softened or reframed into a ‘both sides’ discussion like what you're desperately trying to do now which I am shutting down. Men don’t get that luxury. When we’re criticized, it’s direct, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 03:56 PM |
| – | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Predictably cowardly response backtracking 😆 Now you ‘never said it was equal’? Funny how that changes the second you get proven wrong. You asked for proof, I gave it to you, and now you’re scrambling to redefine the argument so you don’t have to admit it. Your fault for arguing in bad faith like most do when they ask for proof of something so blatantly obvious. Women getting arrested less and sentenced more lightly is exactly what it looks like—society treating female criminals differently. If … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 03:47 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.This is just another excuse to justify doing nothing. You’re saying men don’t take their own abuse seriously—while ignoring why that is. Society conditions men to believe their suffering doesn’t matter, mocks them when they speak up, and gives female abusers a free pass. And instead of acknowledging that, you’re using it as a reason to stay silent. Also, your comparison is garbage. Women fought for voting, work, and education because they had entire movements backing them up. Men dont have such … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 03:39 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Fine, here’s the proof you’re asking for—though let’s be real, you were never looking for it. Women get lighter sentences: Female criminals get 29.2% shorter sentences than men for the same crimes. (US Sentencing Commission) https://www.ussc.gov/research/research-reports/2023-demographic-differences-federal-sentencing?utm_source=chatgpt.com Men get arrested more—even when they’re victims: Look at domestic violence cases. Cops are more likely to arrest the man, even if he’s the one being abused. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You just admitted that all it took was saying your mom was abusive for her to face consequences. Now ask yourself—how often does that happen when a man is accused of abuse versus when a woman is? When men are accused, the assumption is guilt. When women are accused, the assumption is excuses, mental gymnastics, or outright denial. That’s the societal trend I’m talking about. As for proof, open your eyes. Look at how male vs. female abusers are treated in the media, in the courts, in public perce… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 03:03 PM |
| 8 | Rarely have women meet men that are truly unlucky with women. Its usually something he’s doing wrong.Bringing up Elliot Rodger is a lazy argument. He wasn’t just an unlucky guy he had severe entitlement issues, narcissism, and outright hatred toward women. Using an extreme case like him to generalize all men who struggle with dating is like using a serial killer to represent all people who have trouble making friends. It’s a complete strawman. The reality is that most guys who struggle aren’t like him. Sure, some have personal issues, but many are just dealing with factors outside their control… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 03:00 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Criticizing double standards isn’t ‘bashing women.’ If your response to being challenged is to cry ‘abuse,’ then you’re proving my point—women deflect accountability instead of engaging with the argument. If you think something I said is incorrect, refute it. But if all you have is ‘people were mean to me online,’ then you don’t actually have a counterargument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 02:57 PM |
| 2 | What it means to be settled for sexuallySo both sides have work to do. Not what your other comment is implying, but I'm glad you know. Cheers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 02:55 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Your personal experience doesn’t disprove a societal trend. I never said no female abusers face consequences—I said society as a whole is far less willing to acknowledge or punish female-perpetrated abuse compared to male-perpetrated abuse. The fact that you had to personally fight to hold your mother accountable only proves my point—it’s not the norm. Meanwhile, men don’t get the luxury of their abuse being debated or excused; they’re condemned outright. And no one said men never get away with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 02:52 PM |
| 2 | What it means to be settled for sexuallyOof. Sounds like women have some work to do! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:48 PM |
| – | It's perfectly valid for inexperienced men to feel insecure about their sexual performance while dating a much more experienced women, as society constantly puts the burden of good sex on men.If only if they weren't so coddled. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:46 PM |
| 5 | A dual mating strategy is used by people who feel desperate…But it is men who are more likely to feel desperate.I think you're trying way too hard to frame a "dual mating strategy" as something men do out of desperation while acting like women are above it. The reality is that both men and women pursue different strategies depending on their circumstances. Acting like women are naturally above risk-taking or deception in dating is just wishful thinking. You argue that women are less likely to engage in a dual strategy because pregnancy is a risk. Sure, but modern birth control exists, and history is full … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:44 PM |
| – | It's perfectly valid for inexperienced men to feel insecure about their sexual performance while dating a much more experienced women, as society constantly puts the burden of good sex on men.Yeah we need to blame and shame women more for poor sex. Agreed. Equality and all that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:38 PM |
| – | It's perfectly valid for inexperienced men to feel insecure about their sexual performance while dating a much more experienced women, as society constantly puts the burden of good sex on men.Then that's on them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:35 PM |
| 21 | Rarely have women meet men that are truly unlucky with women. Its usually something he’s doing wrong.This post just feels like survivorship bias. Just because you haven’t met many men who are truly unlucky doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You even admit that most people lack self-awareness, yet assume that you (or the women judging these men) have perfect insight into why they struggle. Luck, social circles, and external factors matter more than you’re giving credit for. If dating was just about effort, we wouldn’t have stats showing that a huge percentage of men get little to no attention on dat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:21 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Sorry to hear that man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:14 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.That’s a cop-out. Yes, abusers deny abuse—but the difference is that society forces male abusers to face consequences while female abusers get excuses. When a man is abusive, he’s condemned, arrested, and labeled for life. When a woman is abusive, people justify it, laugh it off, or say ‘it’s not the same.’ That’s why women don’t see themselves as abusers—because they’ve never been forced to. This isn’t just ‘an abuser thing.’ It’s a societal bias that protects female perpetrators. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:13 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.This is pure projection. You’re making a vague accusation about ‘a lot of men’ being abusive while conveniently ignoring the fact that women are rarely forced to reflect on their own behavior at all. Men are constantly scrutinized—through discussions on toxic masculinity, male privilege, and the need for self-improvement. Meanwhile, women get a pass on their toxic behavior, because society refuses to hold them accountable. If you’re arguing that men ‘lack introspection,’ then by your own logic, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:12 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No, thats this conversation | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:10 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.I didn’t misunderstand—I just see the contradiction in your stance. Feminism has positioned itself as the morally superior movement fighting for equality. By that logic, IT should be leading by example. If feminists truly believe in accountability and justice, they should be the first ones calling out the double standards that protect female abusers. Instead, we see the opposite—women stay silent, make excuses, or shift blame. Meanwhile, men are expected to ‘do the work’ and hold each other acco… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:09 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketSome fair points as there’s nothing inherently wrong with international dating, and love doesn’t have borders. But the issue I see is that the outrage over passport bros is highly selective. If dating with financial or power advantages in mind is a problem, then why isn’t the same scrutiny applied to women who date men for financial stability, free meals, or emotional labour? Plenty of women openly say they won’t date a man who earns less than them or who doesn’t provide financially. Some even j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:05 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Got it. Here’s a sharper, harder-to-refute response that keeps the focus on societal accountability rather than shifting blame to men: This is just another way of excusing the double standard. Society takes female abuse lightly, so men internalise that message then people like you turn around and blame men for not taking it seriously enough. That’s circular logic. Men joking about assault doesn’t create the problem it’s a symptom of the fact that male victims are mocked, ignored, and dismissed w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 01:02 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.So because fewer men die, male victims should just accept being ignored? That logic is ridiculous. Yes, men are more likely to kill their partners—but that doesn’t mean female abuse isn’t serious or that male victims don’t deserve the same recognition and protection. If abuse only ‘mattered’ when it ended in murder, we wouldn’t have campaigns against emotional, psychological, or even financial abuse—all of which are taken seriously when the victim is a woman. Bias isn’t justified just because on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 12:55 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.This is exactly the problem—male victimization is treated as an afterthought, something that can only be addressed after every women’s issue is solved first. That’s not equality, that’s a hierarchy of suffering where men are always put last. The idea that male issues ‘pale in comparison’ is just a convenient excuse to ignore them entirely. If female activists truly believed in justice, they’d recognize that abuse is abuse, regardless of gender. But instead, they gatekeep public attention and pol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 12:53 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re overcomplicating a basic point. Yes, elites hold power but public pressure still plays a role in shaping laws and social norms. That’s why the civil rights movement, women’s suffrage, and even feminist policies gained traction over time. Roe v. Wade being overturned wasn’t because public pressure didn’t matter it was because the opposing side fought harder and played the long game. If male victimization ever reached the same level of mainstream outrage as female victimization, the legal a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 12:49 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Horrible | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 12:34 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yep! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 12:33 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yeah I agree with all this. I see through it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:42 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Women’s voices hold more weight when it comes to holding other women accountable. But most of them either stay silent or make excuses. Until that changes, male victims will keep getting dismissed, no matter how loudly men speak up. You expect men to do the same but refuse to lead by example... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:41 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.That’s just a lazy way to dismiss the argument without actually addressing it. Calling out a double standard isn’t ‘abusive communication’—it’s refusing to sugarcoat reality. If you think something I said is wrong, refute it. If all you’ve got is vague accusations, then best to move on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:39 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.The problem is that ‘patriarchy hurts men too’ is always brought up as a way to shift blame instead of addressing who actually benefits from these double standards. Yes, abusers benefit from society’s failure to take male victims seriously—but let’s not pretend women don’t benefit too. When female abusers get excuses instead of consequences, that’s not just ‘the patriarchy’ hurting men—that’s women directly avoiding accountability. And while women may experience abuse at higher rates, that shoul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:37 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Exactly. The lack of societal consequences for female abusers allows their behaviour to continue unchecked. Without accountability, there's no deterrent, and the cycle of abuse persists. You got their in the end. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:34 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.And society doesn’t let male abusers ignore that fact. Women, on the other hand, get to excuse, justify, or outright deny their abusive behaviour because society refuses to hold them accountable. The difference isn’t just in self-perception—it’s in how the world forces men to face their actions while letting women off the hook. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:31 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re half right abusers don’t typically see themselves as abusers. But the difference is that society forces men to acknowledge their potential for harm, while women get to ignore theirs. Men are constantly told to reflect on their behavior—whether it’s ‘toxic masculinity,’ ‘rape culture,’ or just the expectation that they should ‘do better.’ Women don’t get that same push for self-awareness. When a man is abusive, he’s a ‘monster.’ When a woman is abusive, there’s always an excuse—‘she was em… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:29 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.I don’t fully buy this ‘women are victims of their own pedestal’ argument. They benefit from the double standard far more than they suffer from it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:28 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Weak. The issue isn’t about ‘some people caring and some people not’—it’s about how society as a whole treats male and female abusers differently. Everyone agrees that male-perpetrated abuse is serious. Entire movements exist to fight it. But female abusers? They get excuses, jokes, or outright denial that what they did was even abuse. Bringing up Trump is just a lazy deflection. Powerful people protecting themselves isn’t the same as society refusing to hold an entire gender accountable. Addres… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:23 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Your analogy falls apart because no one is equating different severities of abuse— i am pointing out how society selectively enforces accountability and how this impacts women's self perception. A better analogy: Imagine two people commit the same crime. One is arrested immediately, shamed, and punished to the fullest extent of the law. The other is excused, given sympathy, or outright ignored because ‘it’s different when they do it.’ That’s what happens with male vs. female abusers. The issue i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Well said and thank you for the detailed response. I appreciate the insight. You clearly get the issue, and I respect that. Sorry, I can't match it with an equally detailed response ha. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:17 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re not wrong about the structural aspect of this, but you’re missing something: systems only persist because people uphold them. Yes, the ‘patriarchy’ narrative frames women as perpetual victims of men. Yes, this serves a broader purpose of division and control. But that doesn’t mean individual accountability is meaningless. Women still choose to ignore male victims. Women still choose to dismiss their own capacity for harm. Society may have built the framework, but people keep it alive thro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:01 PM |
| 5 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Pretty much yeah. Women are infantilised and given endless benefit of the doubt, while men are treated as inherently dangerous, no matter the context. And the ‘women are wonderful’ effect runs deep—both men and women excuse female behaviour because society has conditioned us to see women as less capable of harm. That’s why female abusers aren’t taken seriously and why men defending themselves is instantly seen as aggression. It’s not about fairness, it’s about perception. And right now, percepti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:56 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.When men defend male abusers, they’re often met with backlash from both men and women. When women defend female abusers, it’s more socially accepted, often reframed as ‘understanding her emotions’ or ‘he must have done something to deserve it.’ That’s the issue—society already holds men accountable, even when other men don’t. But women aren’t held to the same standard, which is why so many don’t see themselves as abusers in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:54 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.I get what you’re saying—this isn’t new, and women have always leveraged indirect power. The whole ‘they can’t physically dominate men, so they manipulate instead’ framework makes sense historically and socially. But here’s the thing: just because this system has always existed doesn’t mean it can’t be challenged. ‘That’s just how it is’ has been used to excuse every double standard in history. People used to say women would never have real political power—now they do. People said men would neve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.That’s a weak excuse for a blatant double standard. Yes, men are physically stronger on average—but that doesn’t mean female-perpetrated abuse isn’t real or shouldn’t be taken seriously. Emotional, psychological, and even physical abuse from women happens constantly, and society laughs it off. Women weaponize the fact that men aren’t allowed to hit back, knowing they can get away with it. The fact that fewer men die from domestic abuse doesn’t erase the fact that many suffer in silence, get fals… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:46 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yeah I think I had your comment saved so I added it to my comment that's still up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:43 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Well said | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:41 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yep. Scary stuff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:39 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.I see what you’re saying, and yeah, it does feel less like an accident and more like a deliberate imbalance that benefits one group over the other. Men are conditioned to be disposable and guilty by default, while women get excuses and moral immunity. Feminism claims to fight for ‘equality,’ yet anytime holding women accountable is brought up, it’s either ignored, reframed, or met with hostility. If equality was the goal, accountability wouldn’t be a debate—it would be a given. So yeah, at this … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:38 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re ranting but not actually refuting anything. Yes, some women see female abusers as abusers—but society as a whole doesn’t treat them the same way as male abusers. That’s the point. Men who abuse are universally condemned. Women who abuse get excuses, sympathy, or silence. That’s why they don’t see themselves as abusers—because society doesn’t force them to. And don’t give me that ‘nobody admits they’re an abuser’ nonsense. Men don’t have to admit it—society makes sure they’re held accounta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:35 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Exactly. Society doesn’t view women as threats, which is why their abuse—especially sexual abuse—goes ignored. Women exploit that blind spot constantly. If people scrutinized female behaviour the way they do men’s, the numbers would probably be crazy. The reality is, women get away with abuse because no one wants to believe they’re capable of it. That’s the real problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:34 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Right. Women don’t see themselves as abusers because society doesn’t force them to. Men mocking male victims isn’t the root of the issue—society has conditioned everyone to see male suffering as a joke. When men report abuse, they’re laughed at, dismissed, or arrested if they fight back. The problem isn’t that men aren’t ‘helping themselves’—it’s that society refuses to hold women accountable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 12:32 PM |
| 5 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re conflating two separate issues. Yes, there are powerful men who avoid consequences—but that doesn’t change the wider societal response to abuse. When men abuse, it’s seen as a serious issue. When women abuse, it’s dismissed, excused, or outright ignored. That’s why we have entire movements dedicated to fighting male violence but barely any recognition of female-perpetrated abuse. Powerful people—both men and women—often escape consequences because power protects itself. But if an average … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 06:21 PM |
| 5 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You keep circling back to the title because you don’t want to engage with the actual argument. But let me make it simple: Women don’t see themselves as abusers because society doesn’t force them to. When men are abusive, they’re confronted with that reality—by the law, by media narratives, by social consequences. When women are abusive, society either excuses it, justifies it, or refuses to acknowledge it at all. That’s why the title is accurate. The issue isn’t just that society doesn’t see wom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 06:20 PM |
| 28 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yeah it's really odd behaviour. Not surprised though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:33 PM |
| 7 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Nice try, but that’s just another excuse to ignore the double standard. Yes, you’ll always find some people supporting, mocking, or debating violence online—but that doesn’t change the fact that society as a whole treats male and female violence very differently. When a man hits a woman, the reaction is overwhelmingly one of condemnation. The law, the media, and public opinion treat it as an atrocity. But when a woman hits a man? It’s played off as ‘funny,’ ‘deserved,’ or ‘not a big deal.’ If re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:19 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Men don’t either? That’s just a lazy deflection. The difference is that men don’t get to ignore reality the way women do. When a man is abusive, society makes sure he knows it. His actions are condemned, he’s called a monster, and his abuse is treated as part of a larger pattern of male violence. A woman, on the other hand, can slap, hit, manipulate, or coerce a man, and people either laugh it off, justify it, or pretend it didn’t happen. And yes, society doesn’t see women as abusers—but the rea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:17 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re not ‘laying groundwork’—you’re stalling. You keep circling back to this one question because you don’t want to engage with the double standard I pointed out. But fine, I’ll answer it directly: Do some male abusers avoid accountability? Yes. But the key difference is that male abuse is universally recognized as abuse—even in cases where the system fails individual women. That’s why we have countless laws, shelters, and organizations built specifically to protect women. Even when accountabi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:16 PM |
| 6 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.What does ‘men in power’ have to do with the fact that male victims of abuse are dismissed, mocked, or ignored? That’s a complete non-sequitur. Rich and powerful men existing doesn’t change the fact that when a woman slaps a man, it’s a joke, but when a man slaps a woman, it’s an instant outrage. It doesn’t change the fact that men are ridiculed for speaking up about abuse, while women have entire support systems in place. The idea that some men hold power doesn’t magically erase the fact that m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:12 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.And? That has nothing to do with the double standard I just explained. Nobody is saying casual abuse never escalates—the issue is that when men do it, it’s condemned, but when women do it, it’s dismissed, laughed at, or outright excused. That difference in accountability is the problem. If you actually believe abuse prevention matters, then you should be advocating for all abusers to be taken seriously from the start—regardless of gender. But you’re not. You’re just dodging the fact that female … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:10 PM |
| 6 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No, you’re not "just asking a question" you’re shifting the conversation to avoid addressing the double standard I called out. I answered you directly: society fundamentally acknowledges male-perpetrated abuse as serious while excusing, downplaying, or laughing off female-perpetrated abuse. You haven’t refuted that. Instead, you’re pretending I’m ‘deflecting’ because you can’t actually counter what I said. If you have a real argument, make it. Otherwise, stop pretending you’re engaging in good f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:09 PM |
| 5 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.You’re still dodging the point. Yes, abusers don’t naturally hold themselves accountable—but whether society holds them accountable affects whether they see themselves as abusers in the first place. Men who abuse can’t escape the label of ‘abuser’ because society universally condemns male violence. Women who abuse? They get excuses, justifications, and outright denial that what they did was even abuse. That’s why they don’t ‘see themselves’ as abusers—because they’ve never been forced to. You’re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:07 PM |
| 6 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.I see what you’re doing—you’re trying to turn this into a ‘who has it worse’ argument instead of addressing the actual double standard. Are there cases where women are dismissed when they report abuse? Yes. The difference is that society still fundamentally recognizes male violence as real and serious—even in cases where the system fails individual women. That’s why domestic violence shelters, legal protections, and entire social movements exist for female victims. That’s why ‘believe all women’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:04 PM |
| 21 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Exactly. Men are expected to hold each other accountable—if a guy reacts aggressively to rejection, his own friends are expected to call him out or cut him off. But women? They’re rarely held to the same standard. A woman can insult, shame, throw a drink, or even get physical after rejection, and other women will either laugh it off or excuse it as ‘emotional’ behaviour. No one expects them to check each other the way men are expected to. This is part of the same double standard—male misbehaviou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:01 PM |
| 6 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Yes, because a few viral clips on one subreddit magically erase decades of media conditioning, double standards, and social norms that dismiss male victimization. Solid argument. The reality is simple: male violence is already condemned by society—female violence isn’t. When a man hits a woman, it’s met with universal outrage. When a woman hits a man, it’s excused, laughed at, or justified. And when men finally snap after being pushed too far? They get labelled as ‘monsters’ while the abuse they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:00 PM |
| 5 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Bringing up a gun is a total deflection. We’re talking about the normalization of casual abuse, not extreme life-or-death scenarios. If you have to escalate the argument to a deadly weapon just to justify why female-on-male violence shouldn’t be taken seriously, you’re proving my point. And let’s talk about ‘power dynamics’—you’re implying that physical strength is the only thing that matters in abuse, which is completely false. Abusers don’t need to be physically stronger than their victims—the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:57 PM |
| 8 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Nice try, but you’re shifting the conversation. The issue isn’t whether some male abusers avoid accountability—it’s the fact that society universally recognizes male-perpetrated abuse as serious, while female-perpetrated abuse is constantly dismissed or excused. Yes, there are cases where men avoid consequences—but that’s not the norm, and when it happens, nobody argues that male abuse shouldn’t be taken seriously. When men abuse, it’s condemned outright. When women abuse, it’s rationalized as ‘… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:49 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Oh, so because you had support, male victimization isn’t a real issue? That’s like saying racism doesn’t exist because you personally never experienced it. Your anecdote isn’t a counterargument—it’s just proof that you’re lucky enough to have been in the minority of men who got taken seriously. And don’t play dumb—TV and media have normalized female-perpetrated abuse for decades. Just look at sitcoms, romcoms, and viral prank videos where women slap, hit, or humiliate men, and it’s played off as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:48 PM |
| 6 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.So abuse only matters when it’s life or death? That’s a ridiculous argument. Emotional, verbal, and physical abuse doesn’t magically become acceptable just because the victim could theoretically defend themselves. That’s like saying bullying isn’t real unless it ends in murder. And the idea that ‘being slapped by a woman isn’t expected to escalate’ is just another way of saying society doesn’t take it seriously—which is exactly the double standard I’m calling out. If you reverse the roles, nobod… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:35 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No, people do understand manipulation, coercion, and abuse—they just choose to only apply that understanding when it suits them. If it were truly about a ‘limited mental scope,’ people wouldn’t immediately recognize abuse when a man does it. They wouldn’t instantly frame it as part of a larger problem with masculinity. They wouldn’t default to sympathy for female victims while mocking male victims. The fact that society instinctively condemns male-perpetrated abuse but needs to be ‘taught’ to ev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:34 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.The classic deflection—when you can’t argue the point, pretend the person making it is delusional. Nobody said there’s a ‘secret cabal’ of women plotting against male victims. The reality is much simpler: society has culturally conditioned people to downplay male victimization and excuse female abuse. It’s not a conspiracy—it’s a well-documented, observable pattern. You can either acknowledge it or keep pretending it’s ‘fiction’ because it makes you uncomfortable. As for ‘gaining traction’—I don… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:31 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.And that’s exactly the issue—"other people’s opinions" don’t treat male and female abusers the same. When a man is abusive, society immediately recognises it, condemns it, and holds him accountable. When a woman is abusive, society dismisses it, justifies it, or turns it into a joke. That’s why female abusers don’t see themselves as abusers—because they’ve never been forced to. The fact that you keep dodging this distinction tells me you know it’s true, but admitting it would be too uncomfortabl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:29 PM |
| 4 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Lack of understanding isn’t the problem—willful ignorance is. Society fully acknowledges emotional and social harm when women are the victims. It doesn’t require some ‘deep understanding’ to recognize toxic behavior when a man does it, so why is it suddenly an issue of limited empathy when women do it? People absolutely understand the impact of manipulation, coercion, and abuse. They just choose to dismiss it when the roles are reversed because it’s inconvenient. This isn’t about some widespread… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:15 PM |
| 7 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Title-baiting? No, the title directly reflects the issue—women don’t see themselves as abusers, and I explain exactly why in the post. That’s not trolling; that’s just you not liking the reality of it. Do you actually have anything constructive to say, or did my post hit a nerve so hard that the best you can do is nitpick the title instead of engaging with the argument? If this is the hill you’re choosing to die on, you’ve already lost. De railing is against the rules by the way | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:11 PM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No, I got your point—you just missed mine. Abusers don’t care what people think, but society does decide how abuse is perceived, and right now, male victims aren’t given the same level of recognition or support as female victims. That’s the issue. And let’s be real—women aren’t ‘quick to correct’ each other on abuse. If that were true, we wouldn’t constantly see people justifying female-perpetrated violence as ‘reactive’ or ‘not the same.’ If that were true, we wouldn’t have a culture that turns… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:06 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Rough, man. Hope you're doing better now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:01 PM |
| 6 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.So because you haven’t seen it, it doesn’t exist? That’s not an argument—that’s just admitting you’re unaware of the problem. And no, this isn’t just some ‘algorithm-fed idea.’ The normalization of women hitting, slapping, or coercing men is everywhere—TV shows, viral videos, comment sections full of ‘he deserved it’ takes. If you actually saw ‘a lot of dudes wokescolding’ about it, that would mean the problem is being widely challenged. It’s not. That’s why posts like this even need to exist in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:58 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Well said. the physical abuse double standard is just the most obvious one, but the emotional abuse double standard is even more insidious. Society recognizes male emotional abuse as manipulation, control, or toxicity, but when women do the same thing, it’s often reframed as ‘setting boundaries,’ ‘being emotional,’ or even his fault for not handling her better. A man ignoring his partner is ‘neglect.’ A woman ignoring her partner is ‘self-care.’ A man raising his voice is ‘intimidation.’ A woman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:55 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Fucking rough but not surprised in the slightest. They've been coddled so much that they can't do anything wrong to us in societies eyes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:52 PM |
| 8 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.No, the title is perfect and accurate to my argument without being too much of a mouthfall. You're nitpicking because the topic bothers you, and you have nothing intelligent to say, which bothers you even more. The title made you engage. The rest made you think. Both did their job. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:47 PM |
| 8 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Saying ‘abuse is abuse’ is meaningless when the reality doesn’t reflect that. If abuse were treated the same regardless of gender, men wouldn’t be laughed at, mocked, or ignored when they speak up. There wouldn’t be a societal expectation for men to just ‘take it.’ We wouldn’t see viral videos of women slapping, hitting, or coercing men played off as comedy instead of abuse. You say you ‘personally don’t know a single woman who disagrees’—but that just means you’re overlooking the way society it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.It’s not just a ‘whoops, we overlooked this’ kind of double standard—it’s deliberate. People don’t want to acknowledge it because doing so forces them to confront some really uncomfortable truths. The more people speak up, the harder it becomes to ignore. It won’t change overnight, but every conversation like this chips away at the lie that this is just how things are supposed to be. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Man, I appreciate you sharing this. That’s exactly the kind of thing people don’t want to talk about—how deeply male victims internalize this stuff because society has taught us we’re ‘lucky’ to get any attention from a woman at all, even when it’s abusive. The fact that it took a near-death experience for your ex to even consider the possibility that she was the problem says a lot. And the kid stuff is disgusting. The fact that you, as a four-year-old, were blamed just because you were a boy pr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:32 PM |
| 12 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Men don’t get the luxury of society excusing their actions. When men are abusive, it’s condemned. When women are abusive, it’s rationalised. That’s the difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:24 PM |
| 18 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Right? Women are pure, gentle creatures who would never do anything wrong—unless, of course, a man made them do it. Then it’s totally justified. It’s crazy how often this excuse gets used. If a man hits a woman, it’s ‘abuse.’ If a woman hits a man, it’s ‘a reaction.’ Funny how that works. And people wonder why male victims don’t speak up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:21 PM |
| – | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Love this take. People focus on the severity of male-perpetrated abuse because it makes for a cleaner, more dramatic narrative, but frequency matters too. The fact that non-reciprocal abuse is more often initiated by women is something no one wants to talk about, because it completely dismantles the idea that men are inherently more abusive. And you’re right—the double standard applies everywhere. If a man commits a crime, it reflects badly on all men. If a woman does the same, it’s an anomaly, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:18 PM |
| 5 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.That’s exactly the problem. The oppressor/oppressed framework oversimplifies reality and creates a built-in excuse for double standards. It allows society to dismiss female violence as ‘individual exceptions’ while treating male violence as a systemic inevitability. And what does this lead to? Women get to act however they want without it reflecting on their entire gender, while men are held responsible not just for their own actions but for the worst actions of other men throughout history. Tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:10 PM |
| 2 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.I agree, the double standard is getting harder to ignore. The problem is, even when some feminist spaces acknowledge it, they do exactly what you said—they shift the blame onto ‘patriarchy’ rather than their own biases. It’s a convenient way to dodge accountability. They’ll say ‘patriarchy conditions men to suppress their emotions’ or ‘patriarchy teaches men to see sex as conquest,’ but they never ask why women are so comfortable hitting, coercing, or demeaning men in the first place. Because if… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:07 PM |
| 9 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.True, but here’s the difference—men don’t get the luxury of society backing up their delusion. When men are abusive, it’s called out, condemned, and recognised for what it is. Women, on the other hand, are rarely held to the same standard. Their actions are downplayed, excused, or outright laughed off. That’s the point. The issue isn’t just that abusers don’t see themselves as abusers—it’s that women, in particular, have been socially protected from ever having to confront that reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:04 PM |
| 25 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Sure most abusers, male or female, don’t sit there thinking, ‘Yeah, I’m the bad guy.’ Cognitive dissonance is definitely a big part of it. But the difference is that society actually forces men to acknowledge their potential for abuse. Even the most harmless, unintentional actions by men are scrutinised under the lens of ‘toxic masculinity’ or ‘rape culture.’ Women don’t face that same level of accountability. They’re not just in denial on an individual level—they’ve been socially conditioned to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:01 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketGreat. I'm just tired of certain logic only being selectively used. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 01:12 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketWe could use this same logic for the number of nasty men out their. Doesn't stop from that being an important talking point amongst women minority or otherwise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 01:03 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketYou should relay this to your feminist peers who do the same! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 01:00 PM |
| 2 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketYep. It's always been selective outrage | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 12:59 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketThe criticism of passport bros is hypocritical. The same people crying ‘exploitation’ have no issue with women using orbiters for attention, free meals, or validation. If passport bros are exploiting foreign women, then Western women exploiting men for resources and emotional support is just as bad. You can’t have it both ways. Either dating choices are fair game for both genders, or we call out all forms of ‘exploitation’ equally. The outrage isn’t about morality but about controlling men’s opt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 12:58 PM |
| 1 | The reason women loathe the passportbro movement is because it threatens their position in the dating marketNow the title and the post are connected in that they both discuss how the shift in men’s dating strategies is disrupting the Western dating market. The argument isn’t just about jealousy but about a loss of leverage. Many Western women have grown accustomed to being the pursued, the ones with endless options, and the ones dictating the terms of dating. The rise of men seeking relationships abroad undermines this dynamic, which is why there’s such strong pushback against it. The outrage isn’t ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 12:56 PM |
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