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KittenyCat5 Archive

View 0 posts and 161 comments by KittenyCat5 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Hi, if you're curious to learn more about the effects of institutional and structural racism or the effects of misogyny there are so many wonderful resources that you can find online :)
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 03:23 PM
1

I was curious about what person would say this. And I was surprised but it was also humanizing. I saw something that I could be helpful with so I did that. But I agree with you and appreciate this comment 💚 a black guy had posted on Roast me and there were so many horrible racist comments including one from OP. He says it's not but well relating black skin to shit is not okay, so I sent him a message, he is not posting everything though and so some people are really going all out for someone lam…
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 03:06 PM
1

I believe they exist, but I do not believe that it is this large scale problem that is comparable to the real world realities of the effects of misogyny. Also you know that just because you want to follow me...does not mean you can right? Like if I don't allow it, you can't 😚
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 01:37 PM
1

Where did I say I want to be a victim? Lol oh yeah OP also called me a snowflake if you'd like to call me that too :)
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 01:15 PM
1

Oh you even called me a cunt..but unfortunately that's not enough because your opinion is different and these guys are not liking it :/
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 01:10 PM
1

I don't believe in "misandry". I believe in statistics that show the disproportionate rates of violence and sexual abuse towards girls and women at the hands of boys and men. Sure you have a few posts here on this sub showing boys and men that have been hurt but it is in no way comparable to the scale of what girls and women have endured. I love FDS and it has been super validating and empowering for me.
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 01:09 PM
1

You're comment insulting me gets the upvotes, you're genuine opinion though, since it was not aligned with all their views did not.
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 01:05 PM
1

I'm actually procrastinating and I do not seek to be validated by anyone here because I do not respect or value the premise of this sub. It is validating though because all of the racist sexist people say the same tired, recycled, things. Like there is no creativity. Oh you're black...you must look like poop, Oh you're a girl...go make me a sandwich...Oh you're a radical feminist...you must be fat and will die alone with your cats. You know just things that have been said soooo many times by soo…
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 12:58 PM
1

It's hard to take someone that can not respond in a sincere way but instead tries to be...spicy lol seriously. It is validation for me though that you guys are of little consequence in real life. You can not craft a coherent and relevant response. And so you must be hateful and since something creative is not easily accessible to you all you must use a recyled racist sexist thing.
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 12:51 PM
1

Yes, I know reading a paragraph may be a difficult and strenuous task for you. https://youtu.be/i6gk4lW1hPo
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 12:42 PM
1

Lol enjoy :) it's already out there and you are just enriching advertisers. I care more about structural changes. For example a new law change in Manhattan makes it so that sex workers will not be criminalized. Their prostitution related instances will be wiped from their records, giving them opportunities to seek out other types of work. The fact that this is no longer criminalized also means that the disproportionate number of young people and people of color coerced into the industry will not…
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 12:39 PM
0

Hey I agree with you this is not PPD material. But OP needed his guys to make him feel valid and better so...he posted here. I'm sure he will try and post elsewhere too :)
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:33 AM
-1

Yeah it doesn't make sense but he needed to feel validated. I hope the people here dry his tears, let him know he is great and that he matters 💚
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:22 AM
-1

Cheers to you all enjoying this circle jerk 🧚🏿‍♀️👸🏿 btw I'm black and a radical feminist. I am anti-porn and do not support the legalization of sex work :) I hope I'm not disturbing your safe-space!!
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:17 AM
0

Oh you guys are so funny...you really need me to be fat and ugly to feel validated. But the reality is I'm not.
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:13 AM
-1

Hey, i wonder if all of the conversation will be posted...I wonder...I doubt it though. I invited something more creative, novel, and not some recycled racist/sexist "joke" or reference, but unfortunately OP lacks the capacity.
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:12 AM
0

Lol why not post all of it :)
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:09 AM
0

Lol why not post the rest haha
/r/PussyPassDenied25/04/21 11:09 AM
46

Omg I treated myself to one of their diffusers and omg so good. I feel so elegant and elevated every whiff lol. Enjoy your perfume. I'm proud of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:06 AM
5

Stability in life, is internally motivated, it is so difficult but the reality is this is something you need to have established on your own, adding a man/depending on a man to help you with this is not a good path tbh, please listen to the women that have come before us, in addition many women end up in abusive relationships looking for a "strong established stable guy" these wants and them having basic things may cloud your ability to truly judge or vet them, also many women end up staying in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 12:18 AM
22

When I come across such ignorance I just type "Well you are ignorant and luckily I can just tell that you will never be of consequence. Yes there are misogynists in positions of power, but you are not and will never be one of them. They have skills and a certain educational level that you do not. They are in positions to influence business and policy. The truth is though, they are losing more and more ground. You are welcome to stay ignorant and terrorize the women in your small sphere of influe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:58 PM
19

Exactly, if I like the guy and enjoyed the date I will let the man treat me. I am very generous, loving thoughtful, considerate, knowledgable, and giving (for ex. I am an amazing conversationalist, give great advice, awesome presents, and love to cook) so I know I will have opportunities to treat them in the future. If I did not enjoy the date and do not like the guy then I may offer to split, on time a guy was such a jerk and as an F-U on my way to the restroom I secretly paid the bill, walked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:30 AM
15

I love this quote thank you 💖👸🏿
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:52 PM
81

Omg 😬 yes, so right, catering to men never pays!! Imagine if she ends up getting labioplasty now and they roast her for that too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:26 AM
10

I appreciate you 💚 for me refering to these countries as Developing Nations speaks to their dynamic and growth focused aspirations instead of a stagnant "third world nation" designation which was informed by a lot of ignorance based of off racist/colonialist ideals. But, I also see your point, our countries are fully formed. In my experience a lot of people that are comfortable saying "third world" feel they are better than and know what there is to know about these countries, as hopeless and pl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:33 PM
25

*just a heads upp the term "third world" is no longer seen as appropriate, those countries are referred to as Developing Nations, I'm from one and I think the language we use is super important and speaks to the growth these countries are having instead of situating them in their limiting colonial/sad pasts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:52 PM
21

Same I needed to hear this, as I think too much about the "hvm" that hurt my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:19 AM
19

Uhm he sounds really manipulative, why would he say "all his exes miss him"!? I think that is unnecessary, he may have said it to allude to how "great" he is...but that's all ego, also no man interested in a girl would say something like that, it makes me think he is trying to elevate himself beyond what he really is, along with sprinkling in some future insecurities for you regarding how he "stays in touch" with exes, or misses them too, or it may lead you to unnecessarily compare yourself to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 09:21 PM
14

She seems so vibrant and lovely. I hope she will manage this situation with as little hurt as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:37 AM
28

Yeah she is 24, he is 32 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:33 AM
37

Omggg girl I commented already but oh lord the most smiles and enthusiasm I saw from him was when he was talking about how attractive her mom is. Ah I'm at the long pause for romantic things he's done :( He asked her what the most romantic thing he's done and she paused for so long then said he let her live with him...and that he saved her life...then she said she wouldn't have know what to do without him, he joked she would be homeless without him :/ I feel like this is messy. The biggest red f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:30 AM
44

Oh man, I don't want to be a hater but yeah this is a safe space so.....I feel like initially he was into her, I feel like she is so awesome and vibrant, unfortunately I think he is thinking oh funkkk and is overwhelmed but will not address things for a while, I hope she doesn't become a forever gf. I can sense he seems a bit annoyed by how bubbly and smiley she is, I also feel like he may say they don't have good "banter"...I don't feel like they have similar senses of humor :( OMGGGGG also the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:21 AM
25

ETSY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:44 AM
19

"I'm a simple man" from a guy who I had been on like three dates with texted me at like 8:46pm to "come over", I said "no I'm enjoying my night (ordered sushi and was doing laundry and reading) and if you want to get to know me and spend time with me you can take me out on more dates, I do not think going over to your house at this time will help us get to know one another in a meaningful way" he said "you know me I'm a simple man" which translated to I will no longer put any effort into you :/ …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:01 PM
51

A lot of the negative commentary you are getting, even from friends relating to your financial independence probably has more to do with their insecurities. They probably could never imagine owing a home, independently, in their twenties. Your goals and vision probably scare them and instead of inspiring and hoping for more for themselves, discussing resources about financial independence, investments, etc. it is easier to put you and your goals down vs. confronting their own mentality. I urge y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 11:10 PM
12

A lot of us have been taught by society to "go with the flow" for many of us it was/is a matter of survival. I am against elevating any woman, or any way of being, while putting other girls/women down. I do not think your post is aligned with FDS. I get the sentiment but this quote I do not think is the right choice. Worth is inherent in all girls and women. Our "worth" does not increase or decrease, especially in how we are ment to be treated. Your line of thinking has been used by many to just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:49 AM
22

I get this, but I also feel super icky about the word "easy" especially because it has been used so often to slut-shame women, and excuse mistreating them. In my pickme days I was "easy" that did not mean I was any less than amazing or deserving. I want all former pickmes to know this 💚🧚🏿‍♀️ Also " ...everyone is going to hurt you, find the one worth suffering for" is really not FDS aligned in any way. No person should make another "suffer" in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:40 AM
7

Lol I was here for it too 🧖🏿‍♀️🍵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 10:25 PM
2

I say it's a NO, you have only known this person for 4 months, and with Coronavirus as well as new strains/new restrictions your set travel plans may be unexpectedly compromised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:10 PM
78

Classic Red flag + LVM + fuck boi behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 10:56 PM
100

How did you two meet?? Also beautiful ring 🧚🏿‍♀️💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 07:05 PM
14

Do not engage with men that say things like that, they are porn sick at best, and dangerous predators waiting for their chance at "worst".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:23 PM
55

Also she's 26 and they have an age gap of 8 years, which I don't think is the absolute worst, but they also have such a power and life experience imbalance too. Ugh so sad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:31 AM
10

Yeah agreed, but I think it benefits * his * image and I'm sure he has a lot of well paid PR people (as well as all sorts of staff ready to support him with no regard to how his abuse may affect women) on his team :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:42 AM
23

So so sad. Do you think it's real? I mean I've been a pickme so could be...but I was also thinking maybe she's getting paid and it's all a ploy to rehab his image/ change + redirect + take away from news and conversation regarding his abusive ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:20 AM
53

It is important to note that research shows that men marry women with similar level of education and social status as themselves. This idea of wealthy successesful men not caring about a woman's success or social standing (and going for a girl/woman for her hotness/her "Je nEe Ces qUiA" lol/ golden vagineee for MARRIAGE) is antiquated and is no longer the reality in the modern world. It was more common for men in like the 50s to marry women below themselves in education and income earning potent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:10 AM
8

I totally agree with you completely. The guy is so gross in so many ways, im happy he revealed himself so soon. I was just responding to the "I don't trust people who don't like dogs" comment, as it is important to consider different people have different experiences and acknowledging the importance of being aware and considerate of cultural differences. Even if in this guys case there were legitimate cultural differences or being scared, it is completely not-okay to ask what he asked of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 12:27 AM
9

I think it's important to consider that in certain cultures and parts of the world animals and "pets" are viewed in a different way from the western world. I think this guy is gross though. Especially on asking O.P. to change her day/get rid of her dogs from her home for his comfort and benefit. For me, I do not trust anyone that is okay with mistreating animals. In the cuture I was raised in dogs were not "pets" in the same way they are in the US, most dogs especially mid-sized and large dogs w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 12:15 AM
3

Yes so toxic and just stressful to know that girls and women have to deal with such things, but also it's damaging because there is nothing we can do to help. I'm planning to go back into mentoring once the pandemic restrictions are over, hopefully building up girls and women IRL would be good. I used to sub to Black People Twitter because their used to be a lot of funny commentary but I've noticed a lot of toxic b.s. on there do I no longer visit. There was a reposted tweet there about a a guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 09:05 PM
4

Yeah certain subreddits are just not worth reading, I've also just started to block any person that posts something sexist/misogynistic/racist. I do not need to see anything a person with those views has to say, doing my best to make reddit that isn't my fave subs more bearable. Also wtf. to him putting down his pregnant wife by saying that she just wants to be cooked for/spoiled...like uhm he should do that and also not put her down for wanting to be with her family at this time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 08:45 PM
15

I accidentally stumbled onto a sub for guys into "stained" ie. butt holes that are slightly darker than the rest of the girl/womans skin, basically natural, and non-bleached butt holes (they called them stained though) while looking for a subreddit on frosted/stained glass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:43 PM
14

I agree, it is so pervasive. Installing an Ad blocker/ opting out of targeted ads via google is a good and empowering first step that we can take on for our selves. I have done that and it was helpful in my life, it made a big difference and I wanted to share. Thank you for bringing this topic and conversation to all of us here:)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:23 AM
27

Yes, I try to update my settings on Google so that I stop getting targeted ads telling me I'm getting old and need to buy a, b, and c. You all should look into it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:07 AM
82

Thank you so much for the mini history lesson!! I've always been curious because I've seen a lot of Russian women as physicists, chemists, professors in history and presently, but have also been confused by the lack of gender equality there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 12:51 AM
16

Pretty good, but I hate the part about the guys last name, I hate that it implies that being raised by a single mom makes a person less than. It is elitist (to say the least) and disrespectful to the mother who raised and gave the child their name. Unfortunately, so many men abandon their children/women end up as single moms. There should be no shame in being raised by just a mom and people should not internalize or be ashamed by the absence of the person that failed in their responsibilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 10:38 PM
38

I love Ask Polly! I want to work on not being afraid to be something too. I idealized and romanticized men that had qualities that I wish I had like a sense of self belief that was intermittent and lacking in myself. The following part resonated with me, but sub. creative projects for like academic success, law school/law degree/ being in the AI ethics field just things that I am interested in and want for myself but lacked the belief, confidence, and discipline achieve. "I used to date men who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 07:29 PM
15

I think Stephen Colbert is a HVM. I watch clips of his monologue on youtube and it is so sweet to see the way he treats his colleagues and interviewees. I also love that now he is filming from home we can here his wife's giggles/laughs in the background and it is so nice to see how he smiles everytime one of his jokes makes her laugh. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jXCS9sQNut0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:33 PM
8

Yes to so much of what you said!! Especially the end, saying that you don't want to be in a relationship, but really truly wanting a relationship...just with someone that doesn't suck!!! I also have had so many experiences where I shared myself and my body with men that did not value or care for me like I deserved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:29 PM
5

So happy to hear, I've been reading through some articles and interviews from the author and found this "And ironically, the less we accept who we really are, the more we'll be attracted to people who share a similar ambivalence toward us!" It really resonates with me. I'm also hopeing to break the spell w/someone from my past :/ https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love/201202/deeper-dating-the-three-steps-lead-love%3famp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:19 PM
8

Thank you so so so much for this post and the quotes you included. I'm going to read the book and seek out more attractions of inspiration. Serious mind shift for me 🧚🏿‍♀️🌱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:02 PM
28

Yes I need to know too lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 03:57 AM
38

Message the other girl, she may or may not care but it is the sisterly thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:55 AM
16

I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I used to have thinning hair, and Jamaican black Castor oil directly pressed into my scalp has helped so much. My hair does get a bit greasy though, so I usually do it when I don't have to be out the next day/can wear a hat to cover my hair if I do need to go out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:17 PM
3

Agreed. I've gotten bold and comfortable in saying "hi if you are curious, and seek to understand and be an ally, there are a number of amazing resources, including curated lists of great and helpful books on this topic. The burden of explaining should not be on random black people :)" I work to have go to phrases for uncomfortable potential moments, it's so empowering. I was also going to compare white people asking these types of questions to educating men on misogyny, but I have decided again…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:35 PM
43

Things like this confirm that it is always best to work w/fellow women and to support them w/our business. I am sure there are many women that are competent, amazing artist that will charge a fair price. I would rather pay more, than support a misogynistic creep...or put my myself in an uncomfortable, harmful, low vibrational, potentially dangerous situation w/a man...ehm. I mean a "professional".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:17 AM
10

These terms are borne out of being subject to all different sorts of racism in the US. These terms describe specific harmful types of women and behaviors. There are terms that also describe different sorts of men that exhibit certain racist behaviors. Any sort of "feminist" arguments against the real meanings of this term are invalid since even the suffrages and many feminist historically and even today are anti-black or not actual allies to black women. However, these terms have mostly lost the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:15 AM
64

I'm sorry you had this experience. I work as a nanny and make sure that all my kids know if someone makes them uncomfortable, to say that w/a stong voice. If someone makes them uncomfortable it does not matter who they are, even a teacher, I tell them it's okay to be mean to the person and tell their favorite grown up that this other grownup made them uncomfortable. I want children to know that their instincts are valid. Also creeps, in my experience, are startled by such a statement and will mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:37 AM
15

You're welcome :) I encourage you in the future to research more if you are curious. BLM has put to the forefront a lot of amazing books written by black authors (there are literalists online on how to be an ally). I was wondering whether to reply to you, or just say Google it, or not reply at all. It is really exhausting to be asked about these types of things. I'm black. It's been mentioned by a lot of other black people too that the burden for explaining should not be on us....especially cons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:12 AM
50

It originates from Black American culture and is meant to refer to a particular type of white woman that weaponizes her whiteness. It has more to do w/her privlidge in being a white woman. Being a "Karen" is not simply wanting to "speak to a manager" or all the random memes...the impact of the word "Karen" has been completely washed down and white washed. There are some articles about the origins/meaning of Karen. If you are curious there are a number of articles/youtube videos. I urge you to re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:04 AM
66

Yes. You got it. He probably watches porn w/women getting shampoo bottles, wine bottles, baseball bats, bowling pins shoved inside them. This is so sad. He is a porn addict, and I don't think she realizes how much porn affects their relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:38 AM
120

If you are able to please leave a detailed review of his creepy behavior on google+ his website. I had a horrible experience with a doctor and I wish I could have reported him. I do not have his info and at the time I was 15. It was over 10 years ago and I still think about it. Please if you can it could save another girl/woman from this experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:35 AM
45

Yes thank you! Ugh they don't even use "Karen" properly...they are so ignorant and soooo unaware of their ignorance. It's sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:31 AM
61

Save your energy and try not to convince/explain to others that don't get this...even if they are members of your family. Divest your energy away from these types if conversations. Trust me, if someone wants to be better and create a more safe and joyful life + existence for black women they will. There is enough information and research showing the degradation of black women and the harms of stereotypes against us that have real life consequences for ex. the disproportionate rates of maternal f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:37 PM
5

I hope you're being sarcastic. Yeah, the types of men that love bomb especially in a financial way end up being at the very least financially abusive, controlling, and potentially violently harming the women that they "loved" so much and so hard in the beginning. No HV person, even as a billionaire would spend this type of money on someone they have been "dating" for four months. If he is philanthropic and genuinely generous, he would donate to organizations, finance micro loans, give to local f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:41 AM
14

You got this. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability in sharing. I love that we have this community for one-another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:13 PM
32

Also wtf. you've been dating him for FOUR MONTHS and he has spent more than 5k on you, including paying your tuition?? What would you have done if he did not pay? That seems like love bombing, future financial abuse territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:04 PM
23

I had a feeling you may latch on to the fact that he has spent money on you and ignore a lot of other things that were mentioned. Such as the fact that he lacks respect for you and fundamentally believes he is smarter and better than you. Insulting your values in terms of liking gifts or appreciating designer products. A HVM would appreciate knowing what you like as it gives him another way to bring you joy. Hvm also understands/is curious to learn, for ex. designer clothes are oftentimes better…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:58 PM
36

I don't think this guy is worth the "business education". He sounds condescending and manipulative. There are plenty of amazing resources online for "business education" along with women that she could reach out too that are familiar with entrepreneurship and the trucking industry. This guy seems like bad news. He is insulting her values and speaking to her like he knows more of the world than she does. I hope OP reads this...do you want a life time of a guy who has the resources but speaks down…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:41 PM
3

It's muzmatch a dating app for Muslim people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:19 AM
5

It's muzmatch a dating app for Muslim people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:19 AM
10

Same, I can't wait till lockdowns are over I feel so educated, armed, and ready!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:29 AM
134

Any guy that says "you seem to have the rare combination of beauty and smarts" is such a red flag. Any man that puts down other women/women in general is NVM. So many women are beautiful and smart. Guys that's speak like this are hoping that the woman has such low self esteem or deep rooted hate for their gender to be flattered by this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:40 AM
27

So happy to see other black women here :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:44 AM
162

I think the red flag is that you asked a question because the answer was important to you and instead he dismissed you by saying your question was unimportant. Just because it does not matter/seem significant to him does not mean it is unimportant. He placed his values above yours, without any consideration to your values/even your agency and ability to say something/ask a question because the answer matters to you. If he thought of you in a serious way (potential LTR) he would be upfront about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:09 AM
10

Thank you!! This post shed not be on FDS!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:18 PM
19

Yeah tbh this "friend" doesn't seem like they enhance your life/are aligned with they type of world you want to build and be a part of. Protect your energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:01 PM
6

I would just be neutral (like how you would greet security at a high end store)...if you are with someone else, like another commentor said, do not introduce him as your ex. If you must introduce him by name with no additional details and make an excuse to immediately end the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:15 PM
16

I do not think the whole date multiple people is so important, so long as you keep checking in with your self and vetting you will be fine. It is difficult enough to find one guy worth dating, I can only imagine how difficult it would be to find more than one that is also worth your time. I think rotations are recommended so that you don't get too invested in one guy, but so long as you are vetting and doing things to enhance your life separate from what relates to the guy you will be all good :…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:55 AM
39

Oh yeah ugh James Dean accused of rape during filming of scenes and also by former partners...unfortunately I think he still gets work..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 08:01 PM
11

I had a similar situation with a roommate playing loud music/staying up late while I had to br up.like 6am each day....invest in noise cancelling headphones to wear while your at home/with a bluetooth do you can watch tv/relax without being disturbed by what she has going on. I also talked to me roommate about having quite hours after 10:30pm so no loud music/noise after that hour. Also mention that it is unsafe to leave the door unlocked and that you will be mentioning this to the homeowner. Be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:58 PM
5

Yes girl!!! Thank you for mentioning this!! It was so gross hearing that live...yeah we all know what she meant...white men keep her "lean and mean" (they are valuable and worthy men, wealthy, contributing to the world) and it reflects well on her to be seen in public with them...while black men are meant to be seen and fucked on the side. Never to be claimed. He was talking about how they "discussed" her "statements" and he gets what she meant 🤢🤮 also he was sharing what he thought was a nice s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:32 AM
14

Oh you have to believe it's possible for yourself seriously. I mean it. Negative self talk is damaging. I know it's difficult, it is for me too....I have so many regrets and moments where I think even if I did have my dream partner...I would ruin it like I do everything else, that they will eventually see "the real me" and I would have somehow fooled them. So many things but negative self talk does not help and will not get us closer to having a caring HVM partner or help us feel comfortable wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:16 AM
10

I completely agree, it is about the thoughtfulness regarding the gift. A lot of Pandora/generic brands offer really uninspired designs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 06:49 PM
41

I agree with everything. However, I believe we should all rethink cubic zarconia. In my perspective the "natural" diamond industry exploits slave labour, damages the earth, has lead to countless civil wars and deaths of black people especially in Africa, while aiding wealth for few, in mostly European countries. I love sparkle and would rather support scientific innovation with lab made diamonds instead of the horrible "natural" diamond industry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:52 PM
157

And the best that comes to mind...is not also getting her gifts or something special to say thank you...it's "fucking her" so sad and disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:30 PM
8

Yeah staying safe is super important!! I made sure I was in a safe situation before speaking up for myself. It was such an empowering moment and I was so happy to have stood up for myself and a fellow woman :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:33 AM
22

Call him out next time :) these men need to know that women love and support one-another. I had a really ugh situation. Basically a guy I was in a course with and friendly with offered me a ride home (he was kinda pushy and insisted on giving me a ride...I thought we were "friebds" and I did not want to be rude since he was being "nice" so I said yeah thank you). While we were in his car he mentioned his wife, two kids, how she was a little older than him when they met, how they have been togeth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:11 AM
1

By keeping him in your life you are also blocking any HVM from entering your life. NO and I mean NO HVM is going to be okay with being an option, while someone you have history with is also in the picture. Like would you consider dating someone who has a kind-of ex...who they still love and will see until ehh :/ they decide to end it but en yeah they still love one-another and have soooo much history. Be honest with yourself. If you want the chance at a better relationship you will have to say b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:39 AM
1

By keeping him in your life you are also blocking any HVM from entering your life. NO and I mean NO HVM is going to be okay with being an option, while someone you have history with is also in the picture. Like would you consider dating someone who has a kind-of ex...who they still love and will see until ehh :/ they decide to end it but en yeah they still love one-another and have soooo much history. Be honest with yourself. If you want the chance at a better relationship you will have to say b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:39 AM
6

By keeping him in your life you are also blocking any HVM from entering your life. NO and I mean NO HVM is going to be okay with being an option, while someone you have history with is also in the picture. Like would you consider dating someone who has a kind-of ex...who they still love and will see until ehh :/ they decide to end it but en yeah they still love one-another and have soooo much history. Be honest with yourself. If you want the chance at a better relationship you will have to say b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:38 AM
30

Block and delete along with reporting them. Never give these men benefit of the doubt. They know that it is wrong to behave in that way...they are testing your boundaries by asking inappropriate questions or trying to lower your confidence via negging. It is not worth it to try to redirect the conversation away from their sexualized conversation or try to convince yourself to ignore your instincts when you feel they are attempting to neg you. There is a lot of b.s. to deal with in online dating.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:59 AM
225

Can we not elevate a white girl re-telling this story, fully leaning into the harmful stereotype of a mammy "AfRiCAn AmeRicAN" who said "DoNT GotTTa" ugh. This is so cringe. I don't think I should have to say this but yeah, as a black woman this tweet is so wrong. If this actually happened and the girl writing this is not just playing out her fantasy of being that cute and shy white girl, who is saved by this STRONG AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN...she could have written it using different language and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:46 AM
14

I would Google to get more information/formal studies to read...I don't have my course notes saved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:57 AM
25

Actually new (non-sexist) research proves that this is not the case, I learned about this in a human anthropology course and I urge you to look into the myth of the sperm chasing and penatrating the passive egg...but I get your sentiment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:44 AM
43

I was thinking Egypt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 08:22 PM
27

Hey firstly nice user name lol :) I think it is more about them feeling powerless in life and then reacting to that by humiliating their partner on a public platform. In his mind he ends up looking like such a nice guy for putting up with his wife's " ridiculous, unreasonable, vegan diet" maybe the husband gets sympathy from family and friends, maybe some call him a Simp/the boomer equivalent, maybe a Pick Me messages him and says "don't put up with that, I know how to cook for a real man". Who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:18 PM
14

I can see that happening for you!! I really mean it :) I've recently met more men (w/in the past year) that have come to this decision on their own and are HV in a lot of ways. I care a lot about supporting local farms and producers and have also met men that have this awareness and their own reasons for valuing these things, that were not just my reasons retold to me in slightly different words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:12 PM
175

How about a divorcing him for disrespecting her, humiliating her, being dishonest etc....some people are so sad! Friending/unfriending/ being messy on social media...and hoping to get props. wtf. No offence but this is not "Queenshit".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 07:51 PM
154

I think it's more like LV Men: This woman looks successful/beautiful/smart/happy let me say something to take her down a peg. I don't realize this but a woman being beautiful and happy and living a good life makes me ANGRY, if I could I would act with violence but since I can not I will use violent language. HOW THE FUCK CAN SHE EXIST. LET ME TAKE HER DOWN A PEG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:50 AM
40

Also note men were the ones who were writing these books, and choosing what authors etc. to celebrate. As more women come into these positions things can change :) I am already seeing positive shifts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 07:46 PM
43

I just tell these guys I'm no longer available to them in any way, and to take all the regret and sadness they feel and use it to grow + treat the next girl better. Also block and delete and don't check out his social media/old photos/texts. It's tough but you owe it to yourself. You are sacred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:58 AM
5

Aww, I had such a lovely visit to Montreal, it was years ago and I went for the Jazz Festival and enjoyed the awesome Sunday Markets. Btw you've inspired me to shop for something super special for myself too thanks :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:14 AM
3

Oh okay, I think it may be a cultural thing too. I'm really happy for you though and you chose a gorgeous ring!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 04:57 AM
1

Beautiful ring!! But don't you think it's bad luck to put a ring on your ring finger, if you do want to find a HVM would that not get in the way...ie. he sees a ring on your wedding ring finger, assumes you are married, and does not make an effort to ask you out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:53 AM
2

I actually feel that it would be bad luck to put it on your ring finger because no HVM would ever approach a woman with a ring on her ring finger. If you do eventually want to find love, don't you think it's putting a bad sign to the universe and a future partner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:51 AM
55

Hey girl I get the same thing too!! I'm East African but have lived in a number of different countries abroad and I used to succumb to the pressure to "be polite" and friendly to other black people. I realized a lot of guys would take our shared blackness as kind of a certain sense of familiarity over me. I've had old African guys lecture me about this and that on occasions when I tried to be "polite" and answered their questions/engaged in conversation. I now just don't feel that pressure. I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:28 AM
73

Yeah wtf is "did someone hurt you?" supposed to mean?! It sounds super manipulative even though the facade is niceness/concern. Yeah, for example a simple stat. shows at least 1/6 of all women has been sexually assaulted. I agree cut this guy out of your life, he is not worth the energy or explanation of the issues facing women at the hands of men. All the information is there with research to back it up, for guys that "need proof". If they genuinely cared they would seek to understand and educa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:32 PM
15

My mom and dad both worked, but my dad made more money and my mom in addition to working full time did basically all the household work and childcare...my dad would take care of us by himself only on rare occasions (once a week, like take us to the park/a hike, for maybe 4 hours), I remember moving to a different country and my mom needed to retake her driving exam and during that time (six weeks or so every Sunday) was one of the only times from my childhood that I remember my father cooking lu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:32 PM
17

Yeah no...a hvm should be helping out around the home, making dinners on occasion, having a full day with the children to give his wife the day to herself etc. being a stay at home wife and mother is hard, amazing, important work. Providing financial support is the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:27 PM
21

When they have children I would assume they both take parental leave to take care of the child for a few months after (he should be saving to afford that). Then if she chooses to stay at home, he would provide for the family with a portion of his income going directly to her to do with as she pleases, in addition to personal and joint savings + retirement accounts. All should be agreed and written out w/a lawyer prior to marriage. It may seem dramatic for some to involve a lawyer or it may seem …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:20 PM
10

Wow I get how you feel I really do. You need to delete and block all contact with him....and just not allow yourself to revisit past texts/emails/photos/check his social media etc. I still think about the guy in my situation and day dream of one day running into him, while looking hot and working as a lawyer/professor/director of the UN lol. It's tough but especially if you are in a difficult financial place that affects your sense of self and makes you more vulnerable and that is why I think it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:55 PM
16

OLD is not worth it trust me. Your anxieties may lead you to vetting via texts/phone calls etc. but it is incredibly hard to gauge the "wolf in sheep's clothing types" especially if you have been in an abusive relationship before. Because those types of relationships can continue to affect us in some ways (altered/lowered self esteem). In real life our instincts can really help when meeting guys because we can sense when something feels off about some one or there is a disingenuous/predatory ene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:21 PM
22

Hi it's been years for me and I'm hurting horribly still, it's an ebb and flow. I compromised my dignity and never spoke up for myself. I think it takes time and really critically thinking about why you were attracted to that person, what did they comfort/elevate you in. For me, this guy was a wealthy European at an elite university, he was sooo my type physically. I thought him being into me was a reflection of my worth in some ways. This I've realized was more to do with my lack of self esteem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:12 PM
3

I mean she went on a date with a married man and also slept with him. He later divorced his 3rd wife for Padma. So I think the signs were there that a man willing to do this us not HV. A woman who is not only comfortable with but also engages with the type of man willing to disrespect fellow woman sets herself up for a bad time. Yes she was young and he was predatory, but she was also okay with being the other woman, and rewarding a cheating man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:24 PM
16

Exactly! Red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:18 PM
11

I really like these! I'm going to use these esp. "that behavior is unacceptable" and "this isn't going to work for me".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:10 PM
58

Discussing "body counts" with partners is not something that FDS supports. Note to all women never share your "#" with the men you date. They will either gaslight you into thinking they have some sort of authority in sexual situations as they have had more experiences than you or on the flip side secretly seething that you're a whore. I think the number of people that someone has slept with does not do much in aiding the vetting process. I also saw a post saying that some women may have high bod…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:06 PM
17

I also struggled with instintivlely knowing I was being disrespected and not having the language to articulate that in the moment. With random guys simply going to an almost automatic "you are making me uncomfortable" has been helpful in at least letting them know I am aware something is off, it has also given me a bit of time to process things, and I think it helps put a bit of a pause in their minds too. Any other suggestions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:00 PM
39

Love this! I've realized it's emotionally exhausting and harmful to engage with them on any level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:42 PM
52

This was amazing and so helpful for me. I struggled a lot with expressing when I had been mistreated or when a boundary was violated and had serious delayed anger or moments of clarity surface months later. Thank you for explaining this so well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:25 PM
43

I wouldn't share your standards with people especially men as they will take it as a challenge to prove you wrong because the idea that a great guy exists that does certain things proves that they themselves are low value. Other women esp. pickmes may try to get you to change your standards or tell you that type of guy doesn't exist because they are disillusioned or deeply regret that they settled and are not ready to confront that truth. If you meet guys just observe them to see if they meet yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:27 AM
4

Yeah I know that cum rag feeling :/ I like that this sub doesn't shame us...we have been there before but we're not going back to being treated with such disregard and lack of care. Wishing you all good things. Something that has helped me a lot is reading FDS advice regarding porn. Porn and the influence is has esp. on millenials/gen z is mind blowing. I know that porn had a huge effect on how I related to men, casual sex, my sexuality, my body, my "kinks" etc. It also affected what I thought w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:01 AM
4

Ugh I'm really glad that you don't have to deal with that or him anymore 💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:50 AM
5

I've been in that same "sex would be fun for both of us" zone but have been left feeling worse than a prostitute (did not ask for money/get paid) and also violated, cheap, used etc. It is so hard to make that switch but I've realized sex with a man that does not value your humanity is never sexually fulfilling. It's not even okay-ish. Any man that invites sexual conversation before knowing you in real life, before treating you to dinner or getting to know you, means that they really do not care …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:49 AM
7

First things first don't have sexual conversations with guys before at least a few quality dates and vetting. The number one thing to remember (helped me lots) is to stop giving men benift of the doubt. Ex. You match with a guy and he messages something that could be sexual...instead of ignoring that and thinks it's normal, or maybe he doesn't know it's inappropriate etc. just remove that match. A guy that is open to dating and will treat you with respect or in general a respectful human being d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:37 AM
30

There is nothing that you or anyone else can do, people can only change if that change is internally motivated. Especially because change is HARD so they have to want to change and be willing to deal with the difficult moments that will arise. I think the best thing you can do is live your best life and hope that one day things click for them. You may also need to re-evaluate your friendships because it is exhausting to be that friend that is in the constant "emotional support" role (ie. listeni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:28 AM
4

Yes I love putting this on and practicing my wine in the mirror...makes me feel strong and Queenly 💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:22 AM
42

I would go along with it and say okay...so household womens labour is cheap, k how much over a month...alright and the average woman is intimate with their husband X times a month...let's look into what high-end prostitutes cost, okay add that, also add the Bill's for condoms/health checkups, okay now in addition most families have X number of children...and the "man" works for how many hours a day...and after work the man doesn't just jump into childcare duties so for a full day of work + post-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:09 AM
5

A guy that gropes you when you first start dating seems like the type of guy that doesn't believe marital rape is a thing. You are better than that. A guy that speaks negatively about your acne is probably going to point out and comment on every single compounding sign of natural aging etc. You are better than this 💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:19 AM
16

Sounds legit. I think I would say not just men because I believe that any advice given by anyone us filtered through their world view and their experiences...so take all advice with caution. I do agree though that a lot of advice esp. from men is self-serving/seeks to make us more palatable/comfortable for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:11 AM
29

Yeah it's really a sign of low value-ness to text someone without like introducing themselves first...it's really entitled behavior and something similar happened to me too, I think the initial message is to be a bit mysterious and get you to engage with them, without them having to reveal too much of themselves. In my situation I gave the random guy benift of the doubt...and after a bunch of eye-roll worthy text exchanges I realized I should have bocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:08 AM
41

Aww so sweet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:42 PM
124

Omg congratulations!! Would love to hear your story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:30 PM
3

I'm trying to curate a more positive reddit experience for myself...I think female levelup strategy subreddit could be helpful, I also like witches vs. patriarchy...they don't focus on mental health necessarily but they are supportive women centered subreddits and keep me feeling positive and hopeful. They also have great self care tips and posts of women living their best lives and rejecting patriarchal/misogynistic bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:57 PM
5

Yeah being single is okay but your comment of like ugh I'm dying alone and single made it seem like being single was a bad thing...idk I just appreciate this subreddit a lot and I felt like your comment took away from the positive inspiring nature of the post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:49 PM
12

I think that is unnecessarily negative and self deprecating. If you want to stay single there are other subreddits to explore, if you want a HVM then don't speak negativity and lack into your life. Maybe it's sarcasm/humor but I don't believe this type of humor is actually beneficial to ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:11 PM
16

I'm really happy for you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:08 PM
1

I was thinking this guy has an Asian fetish...and will bring up random "Asian" history facts to prove why the Asian women they date should be into it "ethical non-manogamy" 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:06 AM
18

He knows what he is doing ie. using her to satisfy him sexually with nothing for her. A guy offering oral sex does not mean they are aware of the orgasm gap between genders or anything like that it just means he gets off on seeing a woman naked and eating her out. I think you are being kind and generous etc. but men like this are not deserving. If she were so naive to continue to give him the benefit of the doubt he would...best case scenario waste her time...and worst case cause her future hear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:46 AM
32

So happy to hear you're in a good spot :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:58 AM
1

I appreciate what you post on here :) It makes me sad to see people struggling but you're right I'm happy to hear you know what you want...I'm still working to get there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:56 PM
4

I understand you. It is also important to learn into the fact that for some POCs a certain level of financial stability/security/ease may be difficult to attain before a relationship and kids. So it is really essential that we all focus on helping ourselves and one another get to a better financial situation, children only add more difficulties to an unstable financial situation. Also having children without being financially secure limits the location the family can live in, especially for ex. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:45 PM
9

I get where you're coming from and I said what I said with the best intentions. As a black woman I think especially in this FDS level-up space we should be more critical about normalizing financial struggle. I think by saying things like well for POC this is common, you are in a way letting yourself and others feel like it's okay for POC to have less as it is common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:35 PM
9

I am black and I would really urge you to question why you are so readily defending the men. Why should POC families or women in those families have to be okay with less? Do you believe that only privileged white women deserve men that go above and beyond?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:29 PM
12

I had a conversation with my mom about her telling me I am wasting my "youth" and that it will be difficult to find when I am older. I told her that basically she is saying in nice-ish words that my value will decrease with age. That she is acting as an agent of the patriarchy and that I will no longer engage in these types of conversations with her. Firmly say that the things she says about you do not make you feel good about yourself and in what world does it make sense for someone that claims…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:19 PM
5

Also how would you feel if every guy you engaged with also had backups. Now imagine you like this person, they are HV to you and you choose them...and they choose you but also enjoy the comfort that comes with having back up girls and women. Think about how that makes you feel and also the type of energy you are putting out into the world. Also think about the energy you are investing to have and maintain boyfriends and backups. Are all these people worth it or are thses "investments" in men way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 05:25 AM
10

Are you being honest with everyone you date about how being a "boyfriend" does not come with commitment to you...otherwise it is dishonest and cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 05:22 AM
18

Yeah people that think in terms of a woman being "pure" thinking those that are not pure as sluts and whores...people that think like this are misogynistic and also note that any man that compliments you while putting other women down is not a good human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:56 AM
3

I think the best solution is to remove or reduce our interactions with men at the first hint if misogynistic or low value behavior and also proceeding with caution when it comes to women that are pick me types or engage in things like victim blaming of women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 10:39 PM
10

I'm sorry to hear this it sucks! I would def. consider blocking him too bc I suspect he will come around again in a bit...not offering a relationship, but instead asking to "hangout" or say he isn't sure what he wants but would like to see where things go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 04:09 PM
18

Tbh I can see an abusive guy pushing a woman into this too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 01:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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