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LadyLevelUp Archive

View 13 posts and 60 comments by LadyLevelUp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1116

RANTLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 02:14 PM
508

LEVEL UPLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 02:01 AM
337

MINDSET SHIFTLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:51 PM
250

PICKMEISHA HALL OF SHAMELadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 08:47 PM
156

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:23 PM
90

RANTLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:01 AM
68

RANTLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:10 AM
55

GREEN FLAG 🟢LadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 10:55 PM
16

MINDSET SHIFTLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:37 PM
14

DISCUSSIONLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:48 PM
2

NAH, SISLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:57 PM
1

NAH, SISLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 06:59 PM
1

LEVEL UPLadyLevelUp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
51

Ugh, my best friend is a fixer and gets caught in these traps often. Her relationships don't last very long because she throws herself in headlong and gives way too much way too fast and it's clear they take her for granted and don't value her effort. I just want to tell her that, "you're not that special different one, sis. You're not the one he's gonna clean up for. He's gonna stay the same and you're going to believe he'll be better and he'll waste your time." It's not your job to fix a man; …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:12 PM
71

Thank you. Lurking again for the first time in forever, I needed to be back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 04:25 AM
11

Funny enough, we used to be roommates. He was a friend of a friend who orchestrated our living situation - I was living with him and a few other guys while living with my ex in a huge house (I was the only female in the house) and he and I became really good friends. We both enjoy similar things, so we spent a lot of time together as friends/roommates and had a lot of long, deep conversations. Actually, also ironically, he broke up with his ex girlfriend the same day I broke up with my ex. He wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:40 PM
4

Oh no! I forgot about that narrative, "you'll change your mind when you find the right man." That always made me so angry because I always went back to, "it's my life and I get to choose what to do with it, man or no man." I'm bisexual so hell, I may not even end up with a man! Thank you for your comment - my intention is not at all to feed into that narrative, as I'm still not sure if I want children. My intention was to show that when we're only exposed to the possibility of it being a hellish…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:59 PM
11

Same! Following.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 06:53 PM
35

Came here to regain my sanity after seeing the comments of this post. Seems like men shaming women for wanting to be with someone who not only can afford a nice ring to propose with, but WANTS to spend that money on you to show you that he cares and chooses something you'll be happy with for the rest of your life. It requires not only financial stability, but effort on the part of him to know her tastes and make a nice choice. All the comments about "I got her a placeholder and let her pick her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 06:29 PM
5

From what I could tell, no. I felt pretty overdressed next to him (and I was dressy casual) and the place we went was a loud divey kinda bar/restaurant. The whole thing just made me want to facepalm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:12 PM
58

This speaks to me. I'm an FDS newbie and just left my LVX a few months ago. I had a guy friend who I had a tiny crush on for a while who is below my league but "so nice" and "such a nice change of pace for me." We started hanging out more after the breakup, which led to rebound sleeping together, which led to a conversation where we decided to try dating. I knew all of this was not FDS approved but my pickme self was thinking, "why not, I've always done it this way, I have a good feeling about i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:05 PM
7

Jeez that's so scary! I saw a cop for a short period of time, we met in public a few times before I agreed to go to his house. He drove his cruiser (met me right off of work) and I was driving behind him to his house. He was going about 80 in a 45 and passing people in no passing zones, I had a lot of trouble keeping up with him. I was young and naive and ended up having a terrible experience with him and have sworn off dating cops since. They have to much access to personal information and can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:39 PM
77

Agree completely, this made me think about how I had an online female friend my age, around 12 at the time I met on neopets who was into furries because of the artistic and imaginative aspects of it; art, fursuits (she was amazing at sewing and made her own), and getting to pretend you're an animal. She warned me about all the sexual aspects of it and told me to stay away from that part of the community because it was damaging, but there was only a very tiny sliver of that community that enjoyed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:23 PM
5

My father for me. I'm sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 09:55 PM
2

Yes it does! I think men get really up in arms about what that means though, we have preferences based on what feels best for our bodies. For example one guy I slept with I barely felt it and wanted it over asap because it was no fun for me. My ex was well above average and I actually found that it was too much for me a lot of the time and painful, and don't even get me started on the gag reflex when giving head. I tend to think average to a little above average is best for my body - I like it b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 09:38 PM
26

Thank you! Lucky for me he has a VERY conspicuous car, so I'd see him following me from a mile away. 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:15 AM
119

"Only burglars sneak around." DANG that hit home. Thank you for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:21 PM
6

This is a great question, thank you for holding me accountable. I don't want to explain much on here in case my FDS reddit account is known - lots of people close to me use reddit and I'm always worried about being noticed on FDS because of the nature of things I post here. The short answer is nothing yet. I am realizing I don't see any future with him - I never really did I suppose. From our friendship prior to seeing one another I thought he was HV but I'm walking through life sans rose colore…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:40 PM
20

Yes I love all of these!! Lately for me self care has looked like this in some ways, but others has been giving myself hard self talks about my bad behaviors and being brutally honest with myself. For example, I left my LVM ex and immediately jumped into bed with someone who is probably bad for me. The validation feels good, but I have to talk myself down from slipping back into bad habits that led to a long relationship with my LVM ex. I am self reflecting and realizing how desperately I want l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:22 PM
8

Wow this hits different. My ex never asked if I was okay, even when it was obvious I wasn't. I always had the responsibility of telling him and asking him to listen and then apologizing for burdening him. Yikes #pickmeishainrecovery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 08:00 PM
3

LOVE saved ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:10 AM
10

I agree but if mothers were abusive, as in my case, it may be natural to have a distant or unhappy relationship with their mothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:32 AM
2

I said this about myself when I was having panic attacks during sex. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:38 AM
2

So happy for you, Queen! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:18 PM
31

Something I think is funny here too is "female incels." Anyone on this sub that's celibate (that I've seen), it's a choice. It's voluntary. Incel stands for "involuntarily celibate." For men, that's because they can't get someone to sleep with them. For women, it's because they don't want to sleep with the available men. Totally different ballgame, yet they want to compare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 06:21 PM
13

GIRL. I am going through a breakup and my ex is 100% an insecure narcissist! There's a word for it, oh my god. I wish the post you linked talked about the covert ones because he comes across confident and bold, but he's truly not inside. Your situation sounds so much like mine, dating back to back since 13 and I'm almost 25 now - I wasted my developmental years on LVM too. The last straw for me was also realizing I had no idea who I was. I secured my own apartment yesterday and am moving in May …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 06:15 PM
14

I am DYING at this 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:38 PM
5

Thank you, it's alright now. My life is way better now that I've gone no contact with my parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:30 PM
7

Oh sure! I've only ever done this with long term boyfriends, but essentially he'd make a comment about not being able to pay or ask if we just wanted to pay for ourselves, and I could tell he was embarrassed, so I'd say I got it and just give him my card. Or sometimes the waitstaff would hand the bill directly to him and when they walked away I'd put the card in the tray and place it back in front of him so it looked like it was his. He never demanded it, it was something I did to shield his ego…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:29 PM
4

Yeah, I gotta say the shock factor I get every time I tell that story almost makes the pain of going through it worth it 😂 I can joke about it because it happened 10 years ago and I've undergone a lot of therapy to get over it. That's one wound that doesn't really hurt anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:41 PM
8

Oh no girl 🤢 happy you've grown out of that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:39 PM
11

Thank you! I think that's why I love this community so much. When you try to talk to women in your life, they've experienced a lot of the same things and they'll say things like, "that's just how men are." No it isn't and shouldn't be! This community validates that this shouldn't be the norm. Thanks gal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:38 PM
5

That post was what inspired me to write this one - I saw it and realized I've done that a lot of times, actually. I'm not sure I understand what you're asking, sorry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:32 PM
15

It wasn't the making breakfast, I love doting on men that way. Some context: he always said "I need to start getting up early enough to make breakfast," then he'd stay up late and wake up just before work. I always get up really early during the week for the gym, so if I noticed he still wasn't up by the time I got home, I'd make him breakfast and coffee and deliver it to his bedheaded self at his desk. I always thought he just wasn't good at getting up on time, but I realized he was taking adva…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:31 PM
9

So glad I'm here! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:26 PM
15

Thank you sis! Yeah, and I got back with him after and maintained a relationship with my mom for 7 more years 🙄 Oh how I've learned!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:26 PM
58

Thank you, gal! I tried to repair my relationship with my mom for years, but I realized it was completely futile eventually. I cut contact with her about 2 years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:28 AM
22

Dang, the average is 42k? I'm a 24F and I make more than that 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:02 PM
36

Manipulation also comes in the form of compliance. They can say "you're right, I recognize I messed up, I'll do better." You feel at ease that they've realized it, sure that they'll improve because they care and they recognize the issue. Then they just never improve, and every time you have the conversation, they'll get upset and seem to be disappointed in themselves, agree with you, and again, promise to do better. This will go on for as long as you let it, and it's even harder to leave because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 11:43 PM
12

I thought because he was effeminate, that he was a gentle kind man, unlike the rest of them. I thought his feminism meant that he truly respected me, whether I was his property of not. I feel for you so much. I thought this about my boyfriend as well, that somehow being in touch with his feminine side and secure in his masculinity meant he would treat me right. I'm sorry you fell into this trap. He sounds like a selfish, lazy piece of garbage and good for you for being a savior from him to your …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 12:06 AM
1

Hey there, these are great advice thank you! I'd love to join the discord, how would I go about doing that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:00 PM
4

Struggling gal here, much appreciated!! No contact is so hard if it's an LTR, but honestly I look forward to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:24 PM
2

Thank you! The difference in my skin is staggering, I'm just happy I went through it with my current BF so I'm looking good after (;
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:25 AM
10

I blamed myself for the decline of our sex life, yep. And he let me take the blame and while I went to therapy and found a class for us to take to try and make it better, he sat around waiting for me to "fix" myself. He didn't think he could possibly be the problem because he had a high libido. Libido wasn't the problem, it was sex with him. Took me too long to figure that out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:52 AM
8

Yes! This is my new rule from now on. You cheat, we're done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:50 AM
12

Thank you, I'm excited! Yep, I've stayed with 3 cheating partners and each time I regretted it. Cheating is now a 100% deal breaker, no questions asked. You cheat, we're done. And I'm never going to be a live-in girlfriend again for that reason. If I'm taking the risk of cohabitation and tangling my space with yours, you're going to be committed to me and liable to split your shit with me if you screw up. No more taking big risks for dudes without collateral.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:49 AM
12

Sunk cost got me in my last 5 year relationship. The relationship was done after a year but we drug it out another 4 due to sunk cost, which just builds on itself the more time you spend. Lucky for me, I've left a LTR before, so leaving this one, while still super hard, was easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:47 AM
2

I know everyone means well, but I definitely can't afford to move earlier and I need him and my other roommates to split a moving truck expense with me. It's a bummer, but I gotta stick around until May.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:45 AM
2

Definitely, I definitely am bouncing around between stages of grief. He clearly doesn't care how I feel (even if he says and thinks he does, he doesn't put his needs aside for my feelings, so I feel like that speaks for itself), so I definitely need to stop caring how he feels. It's hard because that's against my nature - I'm a really caring person. It's a must though, I'll learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:44 AM
4

Honestly I just don't think my heart could handle things getting ugly. He's already showing me that he cares much less than I thought, if we go full on cold to each other for the next 6 weeks, I don't think I could handle it. I've pretended things were okay for the last 3 years, I can handle another 6 weeks. After that we've agreed to go no contact (for very different reasons). He said it'd be hard to get over me if we were still talking, which I agreed with, but I'm pissed and just don't want t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:42 AM
21

Yeah, it's funny, when I read my own post out of my head as if it's someone else's, I think "aw man, she's defending a guy like that?" Emotions are wild and make us do wild things. I guess I just thought he cared about me like I cared about him, but I'm realizing now that he clearly didn't. I think I'm in severe denial because it hurts to accept that I was wrong and he didn't truly love me. Gah why isn't leaving someone bad for you easier?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:38 AM
5

Oh man, my side effects are pretty bad. Chapped lips for the past 5 months, rashes, paper thin skin so easy injury, dry eyes and eye infections, and occasional body aches when my dosage increases. I'm on my 6th month and will probably have a 7th, but if I get another month recommended by my derm, I've only got 45 more days!!! I'm so excited! I've got some pretty deep scarring, so in 6 months I'm going to look into scar treatments. (:
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:35 AM
3

I'm sorry that happened to you, that sounds heartbreaking. I'm happy for you that you're thriving!! Oof, when I think about 5 years down the road with my boyfriend, my heart drops. If that's not a reaffirmation that goodbye is necessary, I don't know what is. I don't know much about attachments, but I'd say this doesn't sound too far off. My therapist recommended that I read Attached, that's next on my list! Codependent is 1000% accurate though. I hope eventually I can grow into someone who can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:33 AM
8

I know, it would have been much harder then though because of the lease. Also I didn't have a job, therapist, or cat to help keep me stable. The fact that I got my shit together before leaving him was a good thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 07:58 PM
6

I will look this up, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 07:24 PM
14

Thank you - I do have a "fake dad" (a father figure who stepped in and helped me through my abusive situation when I was a kid - he helped me go to college when my parents tried to sabotage it and helped me get a car when mine broke down, and he's been checking in with me frequently since he knows what I'm going through) who I can talk to, so I'm 4/4. He just lives 2000 miles away so it's just phone calls. I say the cheating wasn't awful because he was shitfaced drunk and it was a one time thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:45 PM
116

I felt that way about accutane, haha. Thank you, I hope so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:37 PM
84

Thank you - I'll welcome the distance the more I'm able to process how unhealthy things have been. Just gotta get through these next 6 weeks until I can move!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:37 PM
62

Thank you - it's super weird to be grieving someone who I'm still living with and sleeping next to every night. I won't be able to truly move on until we've moved apart, and that's what's hard. I'm watching him stop trying completely and fall out of love with me and it hurts. Watching someone get over you from this close up is a trip. I'll be feeling WAY better once I'm able to get out of the house. Until then, I think I need to keep myself busy busy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:36 PM
18

Woah this struck a nerve for me. I was abused by my father under my mother's nose and rather than protecting me, she started treating me like "the other woman." I was 14. Pickme behavior is just as dangerous as abusive male behavior and wow my mind is blown at the thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 01:08 AM
16

Uh oh, guess who just found out about the patreon because of these guys' griping and is now about to contribute? Thanks guys (;
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:56 PM
2

I have a question - I've never had good, non-abusive sex, and I attribute that to the fact that I felt completely disempowered by sex with all of my partners (BDSM, "daddy", jackhammering, faking orgasms, etc.) and so I don't know what I like and/or want. I've got some work I need to do personally before I start strategically dating, but I'm wondering, should I look for a FWB in the meantime to explore what I actually like in the bedroom while I work on leveling myself up so I can discover that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 10:33 PM
17

It's so sad that this is confusing to this gal. This reads very like, "am I wrong to be upset?" NO, GIRL. That's disgusting behavior in itself, but to TELL her? When he has a girlfriend? She needs to get her life straight, I'm legitimately sad for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:06 PM
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