My heart is getting really heavy as I'm preparing to leave my boyfriend. Any support appreciated.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-03-22T14:41:46+00:00

I did something similar. It broke my heart. But also, 4 years later, no regrets. The more I was away, the more I realized how unhealthy the situation actually was. Even though it was better than anything I’ve ever had.

You’ve got this.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-03-22T15:13:07+00:00

I know how you feel, but believe me, six months after the break up, the only thing you gonna regret is why you didn't do it earlier.

veruscka · 2021-03-22T14:27:45+00:00

What you’re going through is normal. Everyone looks at their relationship through rose colored glasses as it’s ending. Cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to grieve your relationship. I saw you have a therapist, which is great - can you increase your meetings temporarily? This phase will be difficult for a while but it’s ultimately fleeting and soon your whole world will be different. Being on your own is scary but so so rewarding.

Stuffnthings1840 · 2021-03-22T16:27:02+00:00

I want to support you. I am glad you can see the good in people but damn. He cheated and he can't do the sex unless its bdsm? This won't hurt in a year. Stay busy (sounds dumb but your own mind can't get you if you are occupied) and the sun will shine. Go find your happy.

LadyKaitlyn · 2021-03-22T15:16:31+00:00

The Sunk Cost Fallacy keeps women in situations that they should have left long ago. Think about what your life would be like if you're still with him 5 years from now. I doubt that it would be a pretty picture.

AimiHanibal · 2021-03-22T15:41:34+00:00

Right now you might feel like it doesn’t get better, but give it couple of months and you’ll be surprised how it gets better beyond anything you could imagine. Trust me; been there done that. Also, the cheating part lost me - I could never ever tolerate infidelity no matter how “good” my partner was (spoiler alert: good people don’t cheat). The moment they cheat on me, they become my ex. I’d also suggest looking into why you were into BDSM in the first place and write down a list of the shitty things he’s done. Stay strong girl, you have our support 💕

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-03-22T14:28:23+00:00

It will be hard but you will thank yourself down the line. All you need at the moment is work, the gym, a therapist, and 1 friend or person to talk to. That’s it for the moment. Looks like you have 3/4. Obviously a good group of friends helps but you will not pass away if you don’t have one.

You mention that your relationship “wasn’t awful”, so I wasn’t prepared for what you were going to tell us next. He cheated?? That’s the definition of an awful relationship. You should be happy that you’re leaving someone like that.

I was in a similar boat with a long relationship (but not as long as yours) and leaving was extremely, extremely difficult. I had literally no friends, no cat, no therapist, no gym membership. I lost like 10lbs in the month after I broke up with him because I did not eat. But even 6 months later I was flourishing. Now it’s been a few years and I know that I would not be here had I still been in a relationship with that guy.

Good for you. Take strides, leave this pos, continue your work outs, make money, read books, and go to therapy.

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-22T14:43:40+00:00

You would help yourself a lot if you do some reading on attachment theories too. A lot of good books out there. It may be hard to swallow but you seem trauma bonded. You feel alone and have none but him. A lot of women end up feeling that way. And that is why they stay. Your sexual dynamic sound very unhealthy and you are right about your low libido stemming from that. I definitely think you should leave from reading this. It is a hard thing to go through, but you are stronger than you think. Perhaps time to focus on things you enjoy in life and pour some energy into new hobbies focus on yourself.

carlther · 2021-03-22T15:58:04+00:00

I was in your shoes. Getting over my last relationship was extraordinarily difficult for me. I cried daily for at least 2 months. Honestly, some of your man's behavior signals to me that he was a narcissist. I didn't realize that I was dating a narcissist until my therapist read me the DSM definition. It completely blindsided me, and I am an educated woman. Like you, he's seemingly was high value, and he did loving acts for me. He even helped me start my business. But a narcissist does not love like you do. It is a painful truth, and that helped me to grieve understanding that he never felt the same way that I felt for him. He may have had a traumatic upbringing, but this is not an excuse for his behavior. It transformed him into something else. And a narcissist cannot change no matter how much you desire them to. You say that vanilla sex was hard for him, it will always be hard for him. you would be dealing with a lifetime of him seeking out what he wants from others. Talk about this with your therapist. Come to that reality, and you will be able to get over the hump. It was completely painful for me as well, they hook you in so dramatically and so thoroughly. We are rooting for you, you can get over this. Most importantly you can learn to love yourself deeply in a way that you are not used to, and it will open your world.

UnderwaterWriter · 2021-03-22T16:12:53+00:00

Hey girl, what you’re going through right now is painful because you’re in the in between space. I cannot recommend this more to you right now. Buy the book “leave a cheater, gain a life”. Available on Amazon. You can buy the kindle version and read it on your phone or laptop. Start today. You will not be able to put it down. It saved my life and it will absolutely transform yours.

2021-03-22T15:49:10+00:00

We sometimes completely turn a blind eye on very bad things in our relationships, and think we actually have a good thing going, because the man in front of us "is there for us." Especially when we haven't been able to have other people's support. I am guilty of this.

Be proud that you are strong enough to at least realise you need to leave, even if it still hurts emotionally. From what you have shared, this was not a healthy relationship at all.

Your sadness won't last forever. Neither will your loneliness.

You have got this.

RojavaLover · 2021-03-22T16:46:08+00:00

I think step one is accepting him for who he truly was. It seems like you really believe he made a safe space for you and your mental health issues when this guy started off with abusive BDSM (sorry, there is no way anyone is going to convince me it isn’t abuse just because he cums at the end), also, he cheated on you.

What more was this guy supposed to do for you to realise he is a piece of shit?

You know, being accommodating and doing basic shit isn’t being nice, it’s called being normal. He had some normal aspects to him because like every relationship, it is also in his interest to keep you comfortable up to a point, if he wants peace of mind and quiet. Or if he wants a life that has some fun memories.

Accept that he is a piece of shit and I promise the nostalgia will no longer hold you back.

I am relieved for you.

whoisthat999 · 2021-03-22T15:49:19+00:00

Watch sheraseven on youtube and get angry. Its just the emotions which trigger you, i totally understand this. Think about the reason why you left him and dont over romantisize the positive because all in all you want to have a boyfriend who really loves you and doesnt CHEAT

Notspecificc · 2021-03-22T15:56:08+00:00

I’m sorry, but in a few years I hope you realize he was a piece of garbage on the floor. I know it’s harsh and unhelpful right now, but it doesn’t sound like he was actually good for you. You just had good times. But good times can be had with literally anyone. And you deserve a shit ton better.

LearnedWoman · 2021-03-22T16:14:49+00:00

Been there. A lot of us have. One day, you'll look back and wonder why you gave this bad-at-sex cheater the time of day, let alone years of your life.

It's very important you learn to love yourself first and foremost. Have you heard those "Until" takes on pet ownership?

"I'm not an UNTIL you get a boyfriend cat...I'm not an UNTIL you get bored cat..."etc. and ending to the tune of "I'm a FOREVER cat."

Women are so kind and nurturing. We need to give ourselves the same care we show toward our pets for goodness sake. You have to learn to love yourself, your peace, your happiness more than any lying, cheating scumbag, and get to where you can maintain that without an UNTIL.

No "I can keep myself happy UNTIL the next man comes along..."

You are your own FOREVER love.

Besides that, this is anecdotal, but when I got to that point the quality of men AND friends I spent time with shot up anyway. Yes I lost a few more along the way, but for the best. People notice confidence and self-love. People who have that same kind of confidence (confidence, not arrogance!) and self-love are drawn to the like-minded and your inner-circle becomes so uplifting and wonderful.

Even then, be your #1 advocate. Never love any man or any friend more than you love your own self-respect. There are billions of people out there.

rosegoldduvet · 2021-03-22T16:03:32+00:00

This will probably be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made and will ever make. Your life is now open to so many wonderful exciting happy opportunities. I know it’s incredibly difficult, but be proud of yourself for being strong enough to do this.

I’m sure you’ll find your sex drive will come back You’ll appreciate alone time You’ll find independence that you didn’t realise you could have Do you know what? You’ve got a lot of good things coming

I called off a four year relationship and it was incredibly difficult, I really did love him and my heart hurt terribly. I still care about that person like he’s family but only when I left did I realise I was missing out on so much life.

It’s going to be okay ❤️

redbirdflies · 2021-03-22T16:06:18+00:00

In house separation is pure Hell on earth!

You’ll feel such relief and joy when you move out and move on, that I can promise you

Two things: It sounds like you have a great job and a supportive boss. This is definitely a plus for you in moving forward with your life

It seems like you have made that crossover from accepting less than you deserve to figuring out that you deserve so much more

You should be proud of yourself. I think you have SO much to look forward to

Chin up sis, you’re moving in the right direction

caligulawillblush · 2021-03-22T15:59:28+00:00

Hey girl. I can relate so much - I tried to forgive cheating due to the circumstances (it was about as accidental as possible and he didn't actually go through with it) but really I couldn't forgive it. Along with not being in the same place in life and his multiple personality flaws (aggression and jealousy despite me never even speaking to other males lol) I couldn't cope anymore and decided to leave despite being madly in love with him and wanting to be with him forever.

This was almost exactly a year ago. Up until January, I was still crying at least once a month over it. It might take a long time to heal, but I promise you it will be worth it. Even when I was upset and crying I never regretted it, because I (and you) have so much to look forward to and deserve so much more.

It really is the most self-love I have ever given myself, and I assure you it is going to be the one of the best decisions you make.

Wishing you strength and happiness while you're waiting for your lease to end, and then you can really work on moving on :)

millennialpink2000 · 2021-03-22T16:29:49+00:00

Don't beat yourself up over your mood shifting, it's tough living under the same roof as the person. Have a quick cry in the parking lot, it can feel cathartic and get those feelings out before you walk in the door.

You've got a wonderful boss, therapist and cat. That's a solid start

If you can, now that it's getting warmer, get outside and spent time away from your shared home. It'll give you time to think about your future, build up a feeling of independence and adventure. I've also mentioned it a few times in the sub already, but it helped me to look for clubs and activities to check out (book club, games night etc). It got me excited about what's next and gave me something to look forward to. Plus, I could craft it to be anything I wanted. Through this, you'll likely make friends who share your interests while you're levelling up and having fun.

The more distance you put between yourself and your soon to be ex, the better. You'll realize that he's selfish in bed, his cheating was all his fault, and the good parts of him weren't that great. You were the light in that relationship and you worked way too hard to keep shining bright while he (the narc) just took and took. Frankly, that relationship sounds exhausting and I wager you'll feel like you're floating on air the minute you go no-contact with him.

You're brave, you've got this.

eatnthrowtrashaway · 2021-03-22T17:01:06+00:00

I’m just going to put it out there: though it’s a hard pill to swallow nothing is ever the same or alright after you’ve been cheated on. I’ve tried to continue relationships in my teen years all the time after it but that lingering feeling of hurt, distrust and just an almost flutter of you’ll be fine but randomly remember that and feel like shit doesn’t go away unless you cut the cheater from your life. It’s super hard but I’m proud of you to make the choice to move on in life. I promise you you can do it and need to do it and once you’re out you’ll realize what you thought was you in a happy relationship wasn’t really you being happy. I truly thought I was happy with my exes until i left them and then realized I was just telling myself that was what happiness was: I was actually annoyed most of the time with them. Though they were fun to hang out with as romantic partners they didn’t respect me and had to go. Someone who cheats on you doesn’t respect you and it’s time to move up! Stay here and don’t listen to society that desperately wants us to stay with useless men and tells us we need that.

itsyourgirlfinn · 2021-03-22T16:12:52+00:00

You can do it💕 It's the best thing you can do for yourself and I bet your cat will totally surprise you at how great of a #1 they can be for you😸

lessadessa · 2021-03-22T16:21:52+00:00

It’s so impressive how self aware you’ve become. You’re going to thank yourself a year from now. I wish I had that kind of wisdom to realize I needed to leave my ex last year. You’re doing the right thing.

chlamydiakoalaa · 2021-03-22T17:34:17+00:00

I can’t add much that the other wonderful ladies here haven’t already covered but I just want you to know I can relate to what you’re feeling so much, I’ve been there as well (being cheated on, being blamed for a loss of libido, etc). I was actually in the exact same position exactly a year ago and I remember listening to a particular song(Don’t Start Now by Dua Lipa) and thinking “will I ever relate to this song? Will it ever get better? Will I ever stop hurting?” And I can truthfully say that it will! As soon as you can be completely separate from him, your healing can truly begin. You will be a stronger person for it.

As for not having many friends/a support system, I highly recommend getting involved in classes at your gym or at a yoga studio, or a sports team or anything you like doing that could be social! The ladies at my yoga studio have supported me through my hardest times. I would also recommend bumble BFF, it’s like a dating app but for friends. I’ve met some awesome ladies on there!

Villanelloh · 2021-03-22T17:56:15+00:00

He cheated on you. You can try to minimise it but that was a HUGE act of disrespect he made. It was a total betrayal of trust. You deserve so much better. It will be hard but you will survive and come out even better than before.

haunted_vcr · 2021-03-22T18:14:50+00:00

Cheating, bdsm, you not feeling safe or secure, he's a lazy gamer, ok what part of this is "good"?

Girl it's okay, it's always hard to see it in the moment but you are so much better than this. You deserve way better, and you'll find it. Congrats on finding the strength to do right by you.

Ayxmiii · 2021-03-22T18:45:32+00:00

I'm in your shoes. The relationship wasn't THAT bad but in the end he did a 180 and was manipulative, emotionally abusive and selfish so I left asap, the worst part is that he's playing the victim. I loved him and he loved me but obviously not as much as I did him.

I'm trying to move on too. 2 years wasted more or less.

stinkylittlecat · 2021-03-22T20:10:48+00:00

It will be hard, but you will be better for it. It's extra hard when you don't have a support network and there's a pandemic. But leaving sooner will allow you to build that network, make tons of new friends, and realize the big wide open world out there. Imagine waking up with a bed all to yourself, that you can lie in lazily with your cat as long as you want. You can eat what you want to eat, do what you want to do, watch the movies you want to watch, spend your time bettering yourself and relaxing and working on your career, rather than wondering if you'll have to feel guilty for rejecting a boyfriend's unwanted advances. You can meet up with your friends if you feel like it. You can throw yourself at new hobbies. You can live where you want to live because you don't have to split the distance between two workplaces with a partner. You can adopt another cat, or ten more cats. The world is huge and open and there's so much out there for you to experience, whether or not it's positive romantic love, or just friendship.

I left a seven year relationship/marriage and I am so happy. Healthy, free, career focused, made and strengthened so many friendships that I had almost let die because my marriage sucked up my time, energy, and happiness. About to make twice as much money and buy my own place. It's hard to get over the memories, but you will be so much healthier. It's like recovering from surgery. You'll be better than fine, you'll be amazing.

eleguagirl · 2021-03-22T17:44:28+00:00

Long-term relationships become part of your identity because they are big parts of our life. When we break up with someone, we are therefore essentially losing a big part of ourselves. Not every part of ourselves is valuable if we strive to be and do better everyday though.

Having said that, it will hurt. Just like it would hurt to move away for a different job, school, etc. However sometimes we just have to push through it. Because you deserve better and it’s something you want!

My relationship ended fairly recently and couldn’t even happier.

pascalines · 2021-03-22T18:07:31+00:00

Honestly I could have written this post two years ago. Same exact situation. And I’m so, so, so glad we ended things and I wish we’d ended it sooner. It’s a common pattern to suddenly think about all the good things you’ll miss as soon as it’s over, but once you’re doing good on your own you’ll have more clarity of all the negatives that led you to leave. I promise you’ll look back on this and be so happy you put yourself first.

As for friends, do you have any hobbies? Can you join a running group or book club or knitting circle? That’s how I’ve made community for myself.

bringtwizzlers · 2021-03-23T05:46:35+00:00

Just here to give some support. My entire 20's were littered with horrible relationships, narcissistic high-functioning addicts, and an abusive man who hid me for years. So trust me when I say, I know how you're feeling.

I've never really had any friends, I drifted away from my brother who I was once extremely close with, and my entire worth came from my horrible exes and the small comfort they provided. I was petrified of being alone. But now, years later, I actually prefer it. I am MENTALLY and physically exhausted from people-pleasing, stressing out over words vs. actions, overthinking about why he won't show affection, and trying everything in my power to get men to love me. No.

I regret wasting that decade, severely, with my entire soul. I know I cannot go back though, so i try my best to help others in similar situations open their eyes to what they're putting themselves through. Self-absorbed emotional vampires and cheaters DO NOT deserve or get to have your kindness.

You will never truly regret cutting off a selfish person, no matter how hard your mind might tell you otherwise. They won't ever change, no not even for the "right" girl, and they'll never stop taking. You will be more than okay, and at the very least, your kindness and love will not be wasted on some troll who doesn't give a shit about your kindness and love. Stay strong.

partypancakesbacon · 2021-03-22T17:01:14+00:00

Don’t try to not feel the loss. Even when it’s the right decision it still can hurt. Feel it. Sit with the feeling as you are doing. Over time you will get used to the new life, and it will be healthier, happier. Change is hard even when it’s the right thing to do. You’re giving yourself the tools to heal with the therapy and the independence. You will move on more quickly if you allow yourself to feel this loss.

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rideoffalone · 2021-03-22T18:00:48+00:00

Write down a list of all the things you don't like about him/being in the relationship and look at it whenever you feel down.

provalonely10 · 2021-03-22T18:04:38+00:00

Statistics show that the happiest women invest in their friendships with other women, focus on yourself and know that you can get through this :)

Equivalent_Search178 · 2021-03-22T18:37:50+00:00

When I left my boyfriend of 4 years 8 months ago I felt the same way. I know about the inner battle. But there is a reason for you to leave and deep down you know that, if you didn't you wouldn't want to leave. I would say our relationship was not too bad either, nothing too bad, but we had stopped growing together and also we were not able to resolve conflicts. I loved him a lot back then and he loved me too, it was very hard to not get back together, but I knew what was right for me as you do right now. I can't tell you that I don't love him still, I do, but I can see very clearly that he isn't the right person for me . Maybe your love won't become less powerful, but as time passes, your clarity will certainly be much higher and also your love for yourself, because this is how you express your love for yourself - by leaving everything and everyone that doesn't bring you joy and holds you back in life and when you express this love it becomes bigger and bigger. It will get better, I promise.

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-03-22T19:11:08+00:00

Give it some time. Maybe he was very good for you in some ways, or maybe you're just thinking like this because you're STILL in love with him. A little distance and you will be able to see things clearly.

Maybe you would think, "Oh my god! Why did I even subject myself to all that" ( as it was case for me)

Maybe you might be thinking rn that no one will love you like he used to love you, and maybe you're right. Maybe you will find someone even better. You deserve better. Invest in meaningful friendships, yourself and your hobbies. Like the saying goes, don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

m00n5t0n3 · 2021-03-22T21:03:33+00:00

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings." ❤️

You've got this. Yes it will hurt. That pain is part of life. Feel it, and rejoice in your humanity, your human-ness, and in your capacity to love. What happens next...will be great and exciting :)

CannonEyes · 2021-03-22T22:03:24+00:00

You are making the right decision!

WildTenderness · 2021-03-23T03:03:22+00:00

I really sympathize with you, girly. It seems that you're pretty new to the subreddit, welcome! While the things he's done make leaving him objectively the right decision, it's okay to not focus on that. It's okay to feel it through and remember the good times, it can be really hard to let that go. Just remember that you're not letting go of those fun and positive, and deeply intimate moments, you are simply letting go of someone who has mistreated you and failed to upgrade to your level.

Your ability to see the situation clearly, for the good and the bad, is a clear indication that you're growing as a woman. We are all so happy for you, and I hope that you don't feel shamed or anything for having stayed as long as you did. You wouldn't have stayed if there weren't times where you felt like you were on top of the world. Take a step back from everything and let the tears flow if needed.

I would highly recommend reaching out to old friends, even if you haven't chat in a while. Otherwise, trying to get close to coworkers, or joining a local (women's) gym or workshop could be a good way to meet others! Also, join the discord if you haven't yet! If not, we'll tolerate all your rants on here until things get better :) wishing you lots of love ❤️

Muffcakelord · 2021-03-22T17:00:44+00:00

I know what you mean. Both my breakups were initiated by me towards guys i loved but in some ways made me unhappy, without them being able to change besides seeming to understand me and wanting to improve. I don't know what it is but it's just true that people often can't change even if they're willing to attend what you also mentioned as a Master Class on sex. Hell, if someone goes through that and still don't improve, were there actual attempt there?

I personally have learned to find a healthy amount of anger towards the fact that they probably obviously noticed that i was unhappy, yet they wanted for me to fix it or leave it. What the fuck is that? We often have to do the hard labour of analyzing the situation, calculating the gain vs loss (for both parts) and then make the decision by ourselves, before finding the right time and place to break it up. All while also going through a hearbreak for someone you genuinely still love. It's all really fucking hard work, and ironically, i've noticed with both my exes that they seemed to have at least a little burst of motivation to better things in their life after being dumped. Guys have told me this too, when describing how they were dumped; suddenly they felt the need to do something about their life.

You're doing you both an insane amount of favors, and unluckily you have to carry most of it yourself. I swear it's going to be worth it, even if you were about to be single for the rest of your life; the amount of energy being drained from you won't be visible until you've left the reason to the drainage. And this is probably draining you for everything; you being excited on top of all the pain is a clear proof of that.

Remember to cry it out whenever and wherever you need. Crying is a lot like emotional exercise and you want to do it as much as you need. Remember to not suppress any of your anger if there is any; it helps a tremendous amount, if supplemented in moderation!

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-22T17:26:22+00:00

Choosing yourself is a gift 💕

MissouriBlue · 2021-03-22T18:48:46+00:00

Sometimes we just reach the end of The Road.

It’s not a bad thing that this path has run its course.

This path has moved you forward and gotten you to where you are today.

Part company with the memories of the happy times.

Don’t overvalue the time you spent on this relationship.

It was nice, but it is completed.

FrequentPoetry · 2021-03-22T17:00:12+00:00

ahh OP... I'm sorry. I truly am. I would send you flowers but I cant so here is a flower emoji 🌹 (i cant afford a bouquet ;))

Moving on is never easy in any way when it comes to anything, not only relationships. Moving on from an environment is hard, from a friendship, a job, a partner... it's hard to let go of something that was so close to you, a part of your life that no longer exists because we can't freeze ourselves in time. People need to move on and sometimes life doesnt align with situations, people, places... and that's okay.

It will take a while. Perhaps a long, long while. But you will be ok. The beauty of life is that you can always start again, anywhere you want, because you only get one chance to do whatever you want. You'll likely feel sad, maybe even depressed, it will hurt like a bi***. But it will pass, as you live. You'll come to realize that the world is a huge place, unfathomably so, and there's a world of opportunities waiting for you. There's people waiting for. You're the writer of your story, and every good one has a lesson through the realization that comes after living through something difficult and becoming strong.

Hugs. You'll be ok. But remember - cry as much as you need.

AP__ · 2021-03-22T17:09:22+00:00

I know you’ll be okay because you have the most important thing here- self love. You value yourself enough to know what needs to be done and you’re following through. You have the self-awareness and intuition to know you deserve BETTER. it’s going to be hard for a few months but the weight you’ll feel that’s lifted will be amazing

Vrijesak · 2021-03-22T22:43:08+00:00

Omg please just read your title: my heart is getting heavy as I prepare yada yada... Much melodramatic, ha?

This pity party is no fun. C'mon OP (and rest of you newbies wasting your time writing about some LVM from the past) if you read the Handbook you would be pissed atm for your time and vulnerability were exploited, not crying in a fucking parking lot. Brace yourself, pick up your crown, pack your shit - you're starting an adventure!

oliveial4185 · 2021-03-22T19:47:47+00:00

I know what you're going through. This is such a difficult thing to do and it takes an insane amount of courage. You know it is the right thing to do. You also know that things will get better. Try to focus on how happy you'll be once time has worked it magic.

This will be a great time to build a social circle! When I left my ex, I had no friends or family or any kind of support because, like you, my bf was my one and only. The first thing I did was get on Bumble BFF. It's a great way to meet other women. (I have a fantastic social circle thanks to Bumble BFF exclusively.)

I am so so proud of you. You can do this!

dogfart4 · 2021-03-22T20:28:01+00:00

I wasn’t given the option a year ago. My husband left me. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done to put myself back together. You will survive. Humans are made to do that. I will say, you’ve got feel it all though. Don’t shove your feelings down. Let yourself have a good cry or scream into a pillow. I did those things countless times over the last year and some change. For now, focus on the “why” of wanting to leave. You will be okay. I promise.

shadowlillium · 2021-03-22T20:48:23+00:00

Best thing to do is to already start planning for fun things to keep you busy. Time will heal these wounds and when you are back to being your amazing/slaying self, you will find a less lonely world full of new people and new adventures to fill life with. These current feelings will pass, and when you look at it not as a loss but a gain and celebration of freedom and a healthier/happier you, it will help you so much more.

thanarealnobody · 2021-03-22T22:31:59+00:00

Dude, reading this is painful because I was the same. Making excuses for a loser that didn’t deserve it. He cheated and didn’t care to give you pleasure or make you feel safe in bed? You’ve won this. I’m so happy for you. I know you’re looking at those beautiful moments right now and trying to be kind but remember that those beautiful moments exist because of your good, and loving heart. Not because of his unfaithful ass. There’s so much to discover and experience in the world and you will transform into the beautiful person you were meant to be. You are the main character of your story and this is just part of your transformation. You’re being so strong and one day you’ll back and marvel at how well you handled something that could’ve crushed you.

There’s so much love out there waiting for you and it will be whole and worthy of you. ❤️

Constant-Wanderer · 2021-03-23T00:52:19+00:00

You’re doing the right thing, and eventually you’ll really feel it too. Better things are ahead for you, because you started to care about yourself. That’s great!

PinkBlair99 · 2021-03-23T02:13:00+00:00

Yep, as others have said, I've been there. You're doing the right thing, and you will get to the other side. I'm 41 and have been single for 6 years and have never been happier. xoxo

flowerpower102938 · 2021-03-23T13:14:10+00:00

Hey, you will get through this, we all have. I'd suggest writing a letter to your future self about how you're feeling today, in a year, you'll see how far you've come.

Sending you love OP❤️

Title	My heart is getting really heavy as I'm preparing to leave my boyfriend. Any support appreciated.
Author	LadyLevelUp
Upvotes	1116
Comments	109
Date	March 22, 2021 2:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/maokiu/my_heart_is_getting_really_heavy_as_im_preparing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-heart-is-getting-really-heavy-as-im-preparing.1189871 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189871

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