TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

_queeeen_ Archive

View 5 posts and 902 comments by _queeeen_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Literally so much of his odd/threatening questions that might put you on the defensive are just that - projection. I have so many examples of this. A notable one was him asking if I was sick before we shared food on a date. We kissed at the end of the date, I came down with a MEGA cold a couple days later. He was sick and hiding it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:27 AM
249

I just don't find beards that attractive, especially considering hygiene. Did you know "beard dandruff" is a thing? I learned that recently. On a date. With someone who seemed hot and put together. I shudder. I would maybe go for the beard on the bottom left, because I can still see part of his face. Then again, it will probably just give me a rash on my face. Ick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 01:11 AM
3

this was a beautiful reminder. thank you so much. over the years i've had many partnered men flirt with and pursue me. i didn't know they were in relationships initially or i wouldn't have taken the bait. they hid it purposefully and i was already crushing before i found out the truth. uniformly though, it was such a fascinating experience to watch him go from "idealized crush" - sexy and full of hope; to lying, cheating, manipulative, gross loser -- all in an instant and all from him just being…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:16 AM
1

personally i enjoy dirty talk - but not the derogatory type you're describing here. that sounds like lines from a brutal p0rn written by an incel. what i like is just an open conversation about what we're doing and enjoying. it has to be native to the present moment or else it's not hot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:04 AM
1

ugh this is hard because i genuinely love cooking, and want to be with a man who also loves cooking artful, healthy food at home. i've seen this advice shared around on the sub to give a little bit less than he does (versus matching him all the time). so maybe you prompt a recipe you want to try, but let him plan and execute cooking it together. personally what i would not be comfortable with is whipping up a multi-course meal all by myself and serving it to a man. would i do that for my girlfri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:00 AM
1

this is very upsetting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 05:54 AM
2

what is this $50 mascara and is it good tho? i'm with you. i spend a lot on grooming, but this is on a routine basis. i might splash out for a date outfit, but i haven't bought something with a particular man in mind in a long time. i just want to look my best all the time, for my own happiness and also to attract a hvm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 05:52 AM
2

a dog is not a unilateral decision for the family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:18 AM
1

it's not about the horse, it's about possessing her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:10 AM
2

oh my god just go back in time and learn to see women as people and not conquests
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:08 AM
4

came here to say this. same with bdsm-lite (choking, hair pulling). honestly? also men who want doggy early on. i just assume their p0rn sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:05 AM
1

if you can at all prevent or avoid it, don't have a baby with a man who isn't 100% in love with you and desperate to have a child with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:02 AM
2

wtf is bathroom time and why does it take more than a few minutes of closed-door time per day. this ain't right. call a doctor. or a lawyer. or animal control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:47 AM
1

this is all a huge nope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:41 AM
2

at first I was like "what does coffee have to do with pregnancy?" lol. imagine giving it up for a starbucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:40 AM
1

he doesn't care
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:39 AM
2

"I'm pick at" Meanwhile, we get told we're too much for wanting a man who can operate spell-check.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:25 AM
3

fds has recommended a canary in the coal mine test of telling him a fake insecurity - "I wish I were taller" - "I always wanted to be a blonde." if he makes fun of you on these (fake) bases, well... then you have your cue to block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:24 AM
1

lol a healthy pre-menstrual middle schooler weighs 120 lbs. these types really just don't understand how mass and weight works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:22 AM
3

he talks about them without your prompting or asking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:21 AM
6

sex on the first date works out if your man is a unicorn. do you want to find out if a man is a unicorn by putting your mental and physical safety on the line? or do you want to find out if he is a unicorn through numerous, enjoyable dates where you get to know each other as people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:20 AM
2

"or I could take pain killers" this guy is a sociopath
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:17 AM
2

tell him it will break his pp and make him unable to emotionally connect with girls, and thus ineligible for a girlfriend or wife one day. he must choose now: the p0rn or real women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:16 AM
1

hooking up on the first date :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:15 AM
3

"work with girls" Any "man" who calls us "girls" is just so so so so so so so so so so not worth the trouble of finding out why he's disturbed. Just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:44 AM
5

I don't until after a fist date if we meet on an app. They can still turn out to be duds or abusive. If I meet someone in the wild and we vibe, I'll give him my number. More importantly, you should define your own boundaries and then cordially define them with men (like not giving out your number until you know each other). From there, he will either accommodate or react offensively. Your gut will tell you how you feel about his response. TRUST IT. Trust your intuition. If you don't like how he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:35 AM
6

Someone asking you to be friends with benefits with with them is honestly so embarrassing for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:29 AM
13

Same with men who are not married, but live with their girlfriends. This is another breed of vampire that could even be worse than the married man, because this one won't even commit to the main woman he's playing. It's really not flattering to be pursued by a not-single man. There are deeper issues at play if he feels the need to step outside his relationship (even if it's only flirting or an emotional affair) and doesn't lead to sex. Don't entertain not single men for romantic purposes. It's j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:00 PM
4

The "with you" is what counts!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:49 PM
2

I think you can only tell this for sure by getting to know each other over time. Talk is cheap. Take your time getting involved sexually. If that's all he's after, he'll give up pretty readily if you're not making it easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:49 PM
1

Don't confront him. You should move on. If he lied about this, he will lie about many other things that are far more significant and harder to identify before it's too late. Just cut your losses and protect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:11 PM
12

-LVM will put on an act, but the longer you make them work for it, the more resentful they will get. They will throw all these things in your face because they didn’t want to do it in the first place. He’s mad you’re still making him do it now. To all the queens here who have been dumped or left on read by LVM because you wouldn't put out on their (likely warp speed) timeline: you are enough. You are better off without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:57 PM
33

Men learn these violent things like choking, hair pulling, rough doggystyle, etc. from porn. It's incredibly boring and an instant turn-off if he does something like that. And it's almost always without asking. Real men who are actually good at sex follow their internal creativity and sexual narrative, and take pleasure in giving pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:33 PM
6

I agreed with Savannah on this one. Some of the fashion influencers I've followed have trended toward making their posts more sexual, including having hard nipples in photos where it really does not make sense for them to be hard, or could be covered with a different bra, or just edited out. It's to make the image more porny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:31 PM
9

What is the FDS view on other types of erotic visual art/expression, such as burlesque, or doing a boudoir shoot in lingerie as a wedding gift for your husband? Porn is clearly a hard NO, and sending nudes is incredibly risky and not worth it. But what about these other categories?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 11:28 PM
25

There's a way to spend as much time with him as you want and is healthy, but without giving up your autonomy. That's the balance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 05:26 AM
24

Always have certain separate accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 05:25 AM
37

They're down to good faith cuddle AFTERWARDS. Before is always a prelude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 09:56 PM
18

Integrity when nobody's watching and when it doesn't benefit you. This is it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:34 PM
8

Wow, rape culture reaches a cellular level. Did you know that an egg is choosy about which sperm can fertilize it? This is forcing whatever sperm the nanobot's puppet master selects on the egg, whether or not it's a healthy choice for the egg. Could I kindly say, fuck that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:02 AM
7

Next new moon is October 6 :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:56 AM
21

This episode was pure facts. The only part I didn't like was the comments railing on alcoholism. Setting that aside, him paying for dates is the bare minimum. It sets the tone for the relationship. I'm only interested in dating/settling down with a generous man who is at least as generous as I am. The first couple dates are when he should be the MOST invested in impressing you. That and the period surrounding when he proposes to you. If he's hemming and hawing and making it weird about money on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:49 AM
30

Typical soft boi predator shenanigans. She doesn't understand, which is sad. I've survived a creepy harem like that, so I'm both bored and angry reading this. Nextttt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:40 AM
12

I know it's not about this... but wow is she beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:37 AM
11

Of all the theories I've read over the last week... this is the one that gives me peace. Heartbreaking peace. But it makes full sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:35 AM
79

Maybe if Gabby and/or Brian had been arrested during the traffic stop, she would be alive. There was an inclination to let them off the hook. Maybe that related to them being white. Regardless, what if they both had a wakeup call of being tossed in a jail cell? What if she had to call her parents and tell them what was happening? Maybe someone would have snapped to, intervened, and actually meaningfully separated them. Maybe she would be alive as a result. Probably pissed off, in trouble with he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:24 AM
2

He also told the cops he triggered her OCD and upset her by getting into the van with dirty feet. No, that's not an OCD reaction. That's being pissed off your lvm can't respect basic hygiene when you're living out the back of a van with no running water. If they were vulnerable to UTIs like us that would not be happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 04:05 AM
2

They found Gabby's body today. She's gone. Cause of death not determined yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:15 PM
9

Now you know better and have the opportunity to tell younger women in your life how dangerous this kind of thing is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 04:06 PM
14

Ugh this whole "abandonment" angle of the story reminds me of being in a foreign city for New Years alone with my lvm. He got sulky and eventually went off into a simmering rage, wouldn't walk with me, we had both been drinking, I was in high heels, we had to take public transportation home because there were no cabs. He wouldn't stand with me in the packed train car and so I was by myself crying. The woman next to me was trying to comfort me and help me and I was too young to understand the gra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:57 PM
31

This is seriously important advice. If your mental health gets worse, or you start to develop unexplainable physical health problems... its your lvm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:44 PM
6

I would hardly call him charismatic with the police. He was jumpy and nervous. He was for sure sucking up to them, but it was all very immature. They should have realized what was actually going on in this situation. Brian was emotionally abusing Gabby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:40 PM
4

His sister is the only one in the family who has had the decency to make a public statement. You can tell she has a shred of empathy, but since her comments were also problematic, she probably also has a twisted worldview. Would love to hear the psychoanalysis of Brian's parents after they are arrested and charged for their role in helping Brian get away with whatever he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:37 PM
10

Aiding and abetting. He was back in Florida on September 1, without Gabby. At that point they became part of the horror story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:33 PM
6

She told the cops that right away during the traffic stop. What kind of guy abandons his girlfriend ANYWHERE. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 03:31 PM
2

I hate that the police made her take the van and he got the hotel. That was dangerous, too. She even told the police "she doesn't usually drive the van". HELLO that is her saying its not safe for her to be shoved off into the wilderness in a van she probably doesn't know how to drive very well. That police stop was a turning point in her life. They could have saved her from whatever happened next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:37 PM
3

I don't buy this "she had mental heath issues" thing. She was hanging by a thread because she was in an emotionally abusive relationship you can tell that from the first 10 minutes of the body cam footage with the police. She told them that she was trying to start up her blog and business and that "he doesn't think I can do any of that." Anyone would unravel being trapped in a van with him while he suffocates your dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:28 PM
17

The "nurse with a purse" situation is a real risk. I'm not actively dating now, but as an established woman in my 30s I think I'd be okay with a five year buffer older than me, three year buffer younger than me. My question right now is more about if I'm okay with being friends with women and their husbands when the couple is in an age gap relationship. I think I am, but I feel guarded about it. The same way I feel guarded when he's not proposing just yet, and she's ready for the ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:13 PM
19

Feminist allied men don't have to tout it. They just live it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 06:20 PM
24

Okay but are age gaps ALWAYS a bad thing? Or is a situation where we proceed with extreme caution, but can be shown that it is not a "creepy old man" situation. Savanah said her parents have a seven year gap and they're "normal." I have female peers who are with men 5-10 years older than them. I vet my friends, and I vet their partners individually as well. I'm just not sure what to make of these situations where they seem like a good pair, he seems decent-to-great, but they got together when sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 06:08 PM
139

I appreciate when women strike a balance on when to invite their bf/husband or not. He doesn’t need to come to everything. I also do appreciate the chance to get to know her man. If they’re long term, the safe thing to do is assume anything you tell her she might share with her man. So you have to vet your coupled friends accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:01 PM
12

I also would have been upset if there was an almost fire. But his reaction was… unforgivable. There was no compassion or understanding or generosity. That change he say come over her? There’s a before and an after of that moment. She lost all respect for him in that moment. She saw her life with him flash before her eyes and noped the fk out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 09:03 PM
47

This is why FDS recommends ghosting. ☹️ I’m usually not in favor of ghosting, but this what we’re up against. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:05 PM
3

Just read the handbook. Whole bunch of ground rules in there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:10 AM
140

The thing is I don’t think she offered him dinner. She was just making conversation and asked his opinion on what she should make with her chicken. And then he invited himself over to eat her chicken that she cooked. And got mad that she didn’t invite him over early enough to her house to eat her chicken that she cooked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:08 AM
87

I refuse to spend the time to fully understand what RP means. I’ve picked it up in bits and pieces. What I know about it makes me think it’s a pretty backwards ideology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:59 AM
3

I’ve told my friends when I googled a guy and discovered deal breakers. If he passed the test there would be no reason to bring it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:04 PM
6

I blocked the Not Single guy that had been pursuing me. It was a sexy and fun vetting adventure until he made it weird by… being Not Single and I found out. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 10:40 PM
9

Sis doesn’t know she’s being routinely raped. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 08:08 PM
36

Turns out a lady can be rich and empathetic. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 01:11 PM
47

I’m fine with sounding preachey on this topic. Wealth hoarding is unethical. She should offload some of it. Would be great if she donated it to women’s charities, or funded lobbying that would lead to creation of law and policy that meaningfully protects and supports women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 01:09 PM
4

I’ve known some hot incels in my day. They were hot, but just so socially inept and creepy that women fled in fear. Quite remarkable actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:50 AM
4

Would it be to much if in that situation I just dropped everything and screamed at the top of my lungs until my throat was hoarse and raw? Because that’s what this story makes want to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:17 AM
194

Being a billionaire is unethical, period. I’m happy for Rihanna that she’s been so successful. I hope she does the right thing and offloads her excess wealth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:14 AM
2

You can let it go. You can get a therapist to help you let go. You can contact him again asking for confirmation. You can hire a lawyer to serve him with a cease and desist letter. You can sue him into the next century if he leaks them. You have options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:13 AM
7

This guy’s tweet memes are often funny, but this one is stupid. Splitting bills is not romantic. Buying me a car in cash is sexy though. Call me when you can do that. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:11 AM
13

The part about the three lingerie outfits and “not sure if that means anything” - he’s thinking about a three some. Dream ON!! He probably can’t even please one woman, let alone two at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:09 AM
109

Courtship is about a man proving he has the ability to care for his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:04 AM
124

It is weird as hell that grown men are into girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:02 AM
57

I am horny, but least I am whole. 💕💕💕 My life post-FDS and with far fewer LV people around is much happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:01 AM
8

I don’t need him to be super tall, just a couple inches taller than me (I’m petite). I DO need him to be fit, gorgeous, hygienic, of equal intelligence, equally cultured, equally successful, well-educated, and make ball park the same amount of money as me (ideally more). And a couple other requirements but those are just the bare minimum. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:55 PM
39

Randomly asked me during the date if I was sick because we were sharing food. This was well before Covid, and I didn’t take it as a red flag, just odd. We did kiss at the end of the date. Two days later I had the WORST COLD ever. HE was sick and straight up projecting! He also spelled me name wrong in the follow up text to me telling him I didn’t want to go out again. I always thought that was on purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:50 PM
12

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:33 PM
19

Bumble is still LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 03:14 PM
7

LVM like to blur the lines on whether something is a friends hang or a date so they can deny that it was a date later if things don’t go their way. Don’t fall for it. If it feels like a date, that’s what he’s intending. Proceed with caution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 03:14 PM
9

This is my favorite story 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 02:59 AM
11

Ew 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:20 AM
65

Amazing he gave up so easily 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:12 PM
34

Any man who leaves a woman alone in a (even slightly) dangerous situation is a Negative Value Man. Someone made a post last week about a guy ditching her on the street at 4am to go meet up with his ex. NVM. Some of my exes and or suitors who got dropped did the following unforgivable things: left me at a bar because he got mad about something, left me at a house party because he again got mad about something, left me at a grocery store at night, walked me halfway to my bus stop so he could kiss …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:56 PM
17

If me informing younger women that age gaps aren’t to be taken lightly and that she has to vet an older man even harder, then YES I am cockblocking. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:50 PM
30

There are countless posts on this sub along the same lines. And you know what? We need every single one of these reminders. This is all facts. Do. Not. Chase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:48 PM
37

Even just reading this puts evil butterflies in my stomach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:46 PM
5

Ugh 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:44 PM
9

He wanted you to move out and then thought you would still be a couple. Hilarious. The man is the architect of his own pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:15 PM
118

Leave at the first sign of contempt. Smugness is one of the ugliest expressions a man can wear. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 02:01 PM
11

Lying is a LV trait. So is failing to do your research (about what constitutes LV).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:59 PM
30

I wish men would use skincare and sunscreen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:49 PM
12

This is why going to an experienced injector is key. Too much Botox in certain areas can actually age your face more. Such as in the upper lip, which naturally elongates as we age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:48 PM
8

I hope you love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:46 PM
41

This is correct 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:45 PM
5

I think it can look great. It just depends on what your aesthetic is. When done well it looks expensive. Like you’ve poured money into your face, which you did. It’s good for deep lines. It’s also good for giving that lifted look to the upper face. Once you’ve had Botox, you’ll be able to spot it right away on other women. Even when it’s done subtly and naturally, which is the best way to go. High quality skincare is also key to freshening up your face. And the best beauty tip is dropping your L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:45 PM
37

I heard recently that “wanting the thing” actually can create more pleasure than actually “having the thing.” This specifically pertains to material possessions. So if you’re wanting to cut back on actual spending, maybe you could take your time researching luxury items (jewelry, gifts - that you don’t intend to purchase) and really luxuriating in that process.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:36 PM
13

Sometimes it’s an avoidant attachment style or general fear of commitment. Who wants to deal with that?! Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:33 PM
1

I had a colleague who was a SMBC. I really admired her. Lots of HV traits. Seemed to be doing well despite our workplace having very low morale at the time due to external circumstances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 02:25 AM
25

We will not be downgraded to FWB.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 12:50 AM
56

More than once I’ve had a man break up with me and then get all Sad Picachu when I took their word for it and wouldn’t let them back in over text days or weeks later. If you dump me, we’re done forever. Bridge burnt, Billy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 12:46 AM
18

On the one hand, I’m very protective of my female loved ones and don’t want to know about every single thing he does wrong. On the other hand, I’ve had too many experiences where we’ve missed red flags because the ladies weren’t spilling enough tea or weren’t sharing with someone who was willing to call a spade a spade. Talk about your relationship issues with your friends and older trusted women in your life. Also, if you have to ask, you probably already know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 09:44 PM
51

I’m not dating because I haven’t met anyone special IRL this summer. I’m not interested in using apps for the foreseeable future. I’m open to it, but it’s just not happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 04:42 PM
52

And never stop getting routine STI screenings and pap smears. Just because you think you’re in a monogamous relationship doesn’t mean you ARE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:28 AM
79

I’m glad this comment is so highly upvoted so more of us have a chance to take in this critical info. It’s hard to overstate to women the importance of neurochemicals in how we experience sex, love, and relationships. We bear the burden of huge oxytocin releases from sex, which is why we have to WAIT before getting intimate. Both males and females experience the chemical shifts around the honeymoon phase. But I agree with all the other comments on this thread that he is supposed to be working fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:16 AM
4

You have to give yourself the gift of seeing what’s truly there. Stop thinking about him when you’re not with him. Don’t fantasize about him. Enjoy your time together, vet and digest it later. Don’t build him up in your mind. Just learn about who he truly is and decide from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:49 PM
8

This is cute! Some of these songs are so catchy. Nice way to not miss out on a bop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:44 PM
2

If you’re part of the same social circle and things didn’t totally blow up (or one person is excommunicated due to their LV behavior) I think it’s fine to keep it civil and a light relationship. If you WANT to. But if they were a stranger or distant acquaintance with no other real ties, it’s probably better to cut your losses. Sometimes people retain relationships with exes as an emotional crutch and mechanism to prevent feeling the full injury of the rejection/loss. I’m pro-healing, so I’d say …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:43 PM
132

Back when I used to do OLD and years before FDS, I was cancelled on last minute twice by men far under my league. Once it was for coffee, second time it was drinks. What did I do? I went anyways and took myself out on the date. Got to discover a cute coffee shop near me, and instead of drinks at the exclusive spot, I sat at the bar and ordered myself the most expensive thing on the menu for dinner. Both were a great time. And no I never spoke to either one again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:40 PM
5

We don’t have to be Amal Clooney level of 1-4 to be considered a HVW. It sounds like you are really working on yourself and living a rich life. If you’re not technically HV yet, you’re WELL on your way. I hope you meet an incredible man who brings so much joy to your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:37 PM
31

I think she’s entitled to the information, but she’s not entitled to dictate what he does with his 401k and he can’t dictate the same for her. A marriage is a financial and legal undertaking. That’s why she has a right to know. She will have obligations if he passes first, like organizing the funeral, being involved in some way in disposition of assets, reconfiguring accounts. I question why she is surprised about this NOW when she says they did talk about it beforehand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:29 PM
4

He totally hates her. 100% on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 10:44 AM
3

I wonder this too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 10:41 AM
7

I can’t believe she’s even referring to this as a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 10:35 AM
49

It’s incredibly dangerous to be homeless as a woman. I think women living on the brink go to greater lengths and make bigger trade offs (like prostitution) that men don’t have to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 07:09 AM
2

If he doesn’t meet your standards, he can’t be a HVM to you. Even if he’s a seemingly good man. Which leaves…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 07:07 AM
4

Wait so he was just in her house naked and unattended?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:59 AM
2

I would agree that LVM waste time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:56 AM
39

If he hates her car, he’s probably going to hate her, too. You don’t just get a hot pink car for no reason. It’s a whole aura. 👸💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:25 AM
6

I agree with you that adding medium value is not helpful. However I disagree that the other categories are practically the same thing. A negative value man by definition takes from your well-being. A low value man might simply add nothing to your life, but leave you unscathed. Those two are not the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:23 AM
17

If he’s not HVM, he’s a LVM, NVM, or ZVM. You can suspect he’s HV, but you keep vetting until you have enough data to make a commitment, and even then, you keep vetting. For forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:37 AM
119

Why is nobody talking about the fabulous hot pink car. He didn’t deserve her. 🌺🌸💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:34 AM
23

There has to be a spark with the kiss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:31 AM
11

Bring back bases! It’s fun to let things unfold incrementally. Going straight to PIV sex is so blasé.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:24 AM
7

Accurate. Disappointing. Important to keep in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:19 AM
10

If the boyfriend experience involves me paying, I’m not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:34 PM
6

Just get up and hand the cash to the server or host on your way out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:33 PM
7

This game pertains to LVM/NVM. A HVM who views you a full person he is wanting to get to know romantically will have no problem paying for a date. If he’s of more limited means (a student or early career) he should choose a venue that suits his budget. It’s that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:32 PM
1

Aaand suddenly it’s sheet day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 04:56 PM
2

No 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:10 PM
10

This is the FIRE strategy advice that keeps us coming back to FDS. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 03:28 AM
21

I severely respect that you are monetizing Savanah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:38 AM
20

Finding 1 profile in 100 that marginally appeals sounds very high. Even for the day you join OLD, which is when they show you their highest performing (most swiped) profiles. (Edit for typo)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 12:44 AM
2

Even if you’re in a relationship with him already. Did he do something horrible and irredeemable, and now your libido is dead? Not your problem to rekindle a flame that he put out (likely on purpose or for his sole satisfaction).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 03:01 AM
76

First comes love. Then comes sex. Then marriage. Then the baby in the baby carriage. If you do this out of order with a man, you’re playing yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 01:26 AM
55

Personally I’m just more attracted to men who are comfortable in their masculinity and confident and savvy enough to know how to pursue a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:36 PM
5

I’m done with all of that. Condoms and cycle monitoring until his verified vasectomy. If he reversed it without telling me I would sue him so hard he would revert back into a single sperm cell. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:44 AM
65

If he has nothing to hide, he should be fine sharing his location with you. It’s convenient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:41 AM
1

A while back, I briefly dated a guy who remarked numerous times about how thin his exes were. He also showed me one of his favorite adult clips and while it did feature adult women, they had that straight-hipped, small-chested look. The correlation is there in this example. I’ve also reflected on this theme. I think men raised on porn are taught to favor this body type. Also as a general matter, I think access to porn has caused them to have overblown preferences about our bodies at all rather t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:23 AM
3

wtf 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:01 AM
6

I stopped reading after the spoiler warning. Is the show worth watching for research purposes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 01:23 AM
1

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 10:59 PM
9

Wow this is a new one for me ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 10:42 PM
1

Firstly, is it a real post. Once that’s out of the way, yikes. Property taxes are an annual cost separate from the mortgage. Usually rent factors in property taxes because landlords obviously want to break even at minimum. It also rubs me the wrong way that she wants him to pay when they’re clearly at different places financially. And I don’t spite him for being a student (I assume he’s a grad student at his age). She could just as easily let him live there for free, keep their mutual life fruga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:35 PM
112

☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:23 AM
2

I was ready to move out after the complaints about cost of groceries. You should just bide your time until the lease expires. Don’t renew. Find your own place, even if you have to downgrade in certain ways. The extra rent money for living alone is an investment in your peace. Don’t bother fixing things with him. He figured he could relax into being a LVM once he had you trapped. Typical behavior. But it’s not true! You’re going to plan your exit and thrive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:41 AM
12

He must have shown it in some way like forgetting her birthday, being intentionally poor at communication, not helping around the house, demeaning her, ignoring her. I don’t believe that he would play the part of cheerful, enamored husband full-time for 30 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:31 AM
13

So, three months for run of the mill LVM, 18 months for narcissistic NVM. Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:23 AM
8

I think one of the tests will come when you meet a man who does catch your eye enough to flirt back. Do the pickme thoughts and tendencies start up again? It’s okay if they do. This a journey. Just take note and keep working on yourself. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:21 AM
18

I’m so sorry. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:46 PM
15

I think adjusting (lowering) expectations is an accommodation you make when you want to or have to keep the relationship on life support. A friendship or familial relationship can’t grow when you’re letting the other person squeak by. But such a tactic can preserve your own mental health while the other party gets their shit together. Would not recommend lowering expectations with a boyfriend or man you’re vetting. That’s the main relationship context where you should have the utmost standards. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:47 PM
11

This flair is so accurate here. She’s desperate for approval from this monster when he could not be more clear he hates her and pretty much all women. I would question whether the boyfriend is worth it if he keeps friends like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:43 PM
113

Ultimate pickme levels of denial. She knows it’s wrong and just wants to ignore it because then she’ll have to drop her “man”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:41 PM
29

She asks if it’s a red flag. ☹️☹️☹️☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:39 PM
28

Date men on your level and reduce your likelihood of disappointment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:38 PM
15

In the US, retirement accounts are typically considered marital property that must be divided in the event of divorce, regardless of whose name is on them and who contributed to them. For better or for worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:40 PM
66

I couldn’t watch with the sound on. His demeanor was so slimy through the facial expressions alone. He enjoys her pain. What an absolute creep! 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:31 PM
40

Sooooooo truuuuuuue
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:27 AM
43

Honestly they could have Gail on every week and I wouldn’t be mad about it 👸😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:49 PM
3

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 10:25 PM
12

Upvoting this to Heaven! 👸😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:07 PM
24

Very well said. Totally true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 08:55 PM
30

Friendly reminder that someone can be broke at any income level if they don’t manage their finances responsibly. We should always be vetting for this, even if he’s in a high-earning profession. Assume nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 06:33 PM
35

“Preference for impersonal sex” ☹️. My kink is personal sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:02 AM
23

Personally I don’t see a problem with stay-at-home dads if they are actually doing the work of running the household and caring for the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:57 AM
25

Your comment about watching porn on a train. 🤭 Now I understand why they do this. It’s addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:52 AM
18

I think this kind of warning can be shared without letting us know that it’s your client personally, or without getting into the details of their legal proceedings. Seems risky to share this online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 06:59 PM
120

This is when you “what do you mean?” him until he tells on himself. Should only take 2-3 WDYMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 06:56 PM
23

Dweeb is the best possible label here. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 11:45 PM
21

I think preference comes into play. For example, if he has a fully blown, unkempt bush in the back region? I’m O.U.T. and I’m not even going to explain why because it’s glaringly obvious. I like it all lightly mascaped. Completely bare on a guy is also VERY UPSETTING and I hope you don’t have to bear witness to that, ever. I’m 100% with you about not shaving for hygiene reasons (cuts, razor burn). But on the other hand, everyone should be doing some grooming for the same exact reason. Bottom lin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:00 AM
32

The classic “front bush only” ladyscaping! It’s rarity to hear about a man asking for MORE hair. But also not great that he was so pushy about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 08:26 PM
153

It’s disqualifying to me when a man prefers a completely bare vulva. 🤢🤢🤢 Thats the vulva of pre-pubescent girl. I’m an adult woman. I’ve had hair there since I was in middle school (school girl age!!). I also want him to have an appropriate amount of hair. I’m all for everyone doing some grooming down there, especially in the back. But wow, NO. There is zero chance of me removing all my hair and I think I would get the ick immediately if he asked for it. On the other side of the coin, I’ve had b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 06:27 PM
21

Friendly reminder that 50:50 relationships are a SCAM. This is one of the primary reasons. The biological burden is completely unequal. And even if the couple doesn’t want kids, a HVM would be eager to treat his woman well and make her life more comfortable. There’s something so attractive about a man stepping into his masculinity and provider role. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 06:18 PM
118

This is a little off topic, but I think it’s BS that society says “men have higher sex drives.” No, they’re just more indiscriminate and let everyone know they’re horny. Ask your girlfriends what the track record is in terms of if their man (who is/was otherwise good in bed) had the same level of desire and stamina… And another tangent to my tangent, when a woman stops wanting sex in the relationship (excluding pregnancy and illness), it’s usually because she got “the ick” or he did something ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 06:14 PM
3

Can you elaborate? 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 12:58 PM
11

In general I think it’s best to not work in public areas where others can view your screen if you or your clients have an interest in privacy. Leveling up isn’t just about work. We can use in flight time to read books, indulge in fashion magazines, listen to music, or meditate. None of which has to reveal your data to a rando.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:58 AM
5

This entire post is 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Why meet up randomly at a Starbucks with a coworker in the first place? Did he think it was a date? This whole situation is very alarming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:56 AM
21

This is beautiful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:52 AM
3

I mean…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:51 AM
16

“Feel bad asking”? What does that mean? Would he be asking you to bankroll it if the optics were different? I also think “trying not to worry” isn’t to your benefit. Selecting a male partner is a life or death decision. You should scrutinize it from every angle and not walk in blindly. Vet and always put yourself first, even when it’s hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:51 AM
21

Marriage offers women the most financial and legal protections if things go wrong. You should engage your own lawyer and discuss your specific needs and options. Cohabitating with a man indefinitely will leave you with limited rights and options. Many, many women on FDS warn against being a “forever girlfriend.” Wife is an utterly different category.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:49 AM
45

Lol what? Men are obsessed with making money. One of its primary functions is to increase his status to make him remotely eligible to become a husband. He’s very confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:55 AM
18

Vampires
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:54 AM
2

💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:43 AM
18

That’s right! We gotta 🌸MOVE ON!🌸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:41 AM
32

Yet another appropriate application of: they know. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:40 AM
5

You are welcome! I needed it today, too. That’s why I wrote it down for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:39 AM
4

Thank you, Queen. 🌸💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:38 AM
43

This is how I see it: I’m an established, independent woman in my 30s. Personally I don’t see the benefit of giving up my curated home and existence without the assurance of a huge rock on my finger (yes, this in my standard - I’m a size queen). If after we’re engaged, he wants me to move in with him in an appropriately-sized place and he will pay the mortgage/utilities/etc. himself, I would consider it. Otherwise I think I’d keep my own place until we’re married. Personally I would put money do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:37 AM
9

“What an odd question to ask in a professional context.” wide-eyed stare
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 10:58 PM
46

This is such a turn-off. A man who wants to be chased by women? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:51 PM
6

This is one of the things we NEED TO BE TEACHING WOMEN but I’m also annoyed because I don’t want abusers to just learn not to use the word clingy. This is 100% true. Any man who gripes about his exes being clingy… not worth a second further of vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:16 PM
100

You don’t like materialistic women? Okay well, I like having nice things. So we’re fundamentally incompatible. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:58 PM
59

It’s not just city behavior. Men do this in the countryside, at the airport, at the gym, at the grocery store, in your labor and delivery room. If a man invades your space and has an air of… just not realizing you’re there? It’s misogyny. Don’t pick a fight. Just note him as unsafe and move on with your day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:57 PM
109

But don’t wait for your first dinner at home as a couple to find out that he chews with his mouth open or can’t hold a fork!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:53 PM
23

I would tend to agree with you. But for the FDSers who are salty about the question in general… I think it’s also an important social skill to be able to ask difficult but important questions in a diplomatic way that actually invites discussion, rather than putting the person on the defensive. The delivery is also a vetting data point for HVW and HVM alike.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:00 PM
3

Yes. And I’m comparing his date offerings to how my girlfriends treat me when we go out together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:27 PM
46

Maybe not elegantly asked… but I feel that’s relevant info to know when you’re vetting someone. Are they just off a breakup? Have they been intentionally off the market for a while? Casual dating for a century? It’s relevant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:20 PM
119

Can we talk about how awkward it is that he had FOUR drinks on a date? That’s way too much. Meanwhile she had zero. He was just getting loaded by himself? Yikes. Also, the restaurant couldn’t have been that nice if four drinks and a steak is only $77. 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:14 PM
17

🤭🤭🤭 wtf??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:11 PM
6

This applies even if you don’t want kids. Either of you. We want tender, nurturing, competent men regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:51 PM
2

I totally get that. I think the analysis activity actually releases reward hormones to our brains because we get to revisit and analyze all of those fun, flirty interactions. And the attention from a guy we were actually interested in. It sucks, but I think for the sake of our mental health we have to let it go, stop thinking about it, and get those happy hormones somewhere else. Want to ruminate on Not Single Dude? Go to a yoga class, go for a walk to get some ice cream, call a friend, go on a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:37 PM
3

Yes. It’s a thing. And we are REELING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:11 PM
3

Same boat. I would looove to indulge in this thought exercise. Especially since, in all honesty, I was enjoying the attention and am disappointed to learn he wasn’t single all along. But ultimately the most relevant explanation is that he has a messed up attitude. We don’t need to understand it and perhaps couldn’t if we tried. We just have to take their behavior at face value and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:11 PM
3

Crazy and freeeeee
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:03 PM
3

Not. Single. Men. “Married or not single men who never ever talk about or even mention their wives/GF's or kids are a red flag. I'm sorry, but that's not normal. They're trying to not feel guilty about their shitty intentions so they don't talk about it. “ I’m dealing with this right now. I met a guy a few weeks ago and he has shown consistent, escalating interest. The flirtation originates from his side and I’ve reciprocated (although not quite giving the same amount of attention he’s giving). …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:01 PM
2

You think I want to go on a date with you?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 05:52 PM
3

It’s not even worth unpacking. What a disaster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 05:51 PM
2

So true. Men use it to be sneaky. Snap is for tweens IF THAT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 05:50 PM
2

It’s actually reverse financed. We spend our own money to build them. Time to walk off the job, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 05:45 PM
6

HVM wouldn’t want to be chased.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 05:13 PM
41

She needs to call some loved ones to come over to her new country, help her pack her essential belongings, get in touch with a lawyer to start divorce proceedings, and GTFO of that marriage as soon as humanly possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 11:01 PM
86

This is ridiculous. This is why getting married young is risky. It sounds like she knows her values. Meanwhile her HUSBAND is blaming her desire to travel on… Instagram? Yiiiiikes that’s dim. They’re fundamentally incompatible. She sounds like a catch. He sounds like a stick in the mud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:26 PM
17

Same kind of dude who is proud of his dad bod. Like merit badges in the Low Effort Boy Scouts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:19 PM
6

She looks pretty cute to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:15 PM
3

Well then invest what you can in your security system and then just be boring AF to this guy. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:13 PM
83

For sure get an exterior mounted camera for the front and back and don’t worry about being subtle. And then grey rock him. Hopefully he’ll get tired and bored. You didn’t mention owning the house, so you can also consider moving to an upgrade when your lease is up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:03 AM
7

I would be open to dating/marrying a HV widower with children. I’m not particularly interested in having my own children but something about becoming a mother in this context sounds fine by me. For the right man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:59 AM
41

It’s not flattering. Proud of us for realizing it. It’s the bare minimum that a man we’re dating/vetting finds us attractive. Never be settled for!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:01 PM
1

😔😔😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:54 AM
86

It’s 100% insulting. I’ve had two FWB. We were actually reasonably good friends, which I realize was rare. But now thinking back on it, I’m disgusted that they put me in such a lowly position and that I accepted it. The benefits are just not worth them sapping my time and essence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:42 AM
12

If I realized a guy lied to me like that before the date even happened, I would fake sick and leave. Also he’s picking her up at home for a first date? Huge NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:36 AM
2

Oh no 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 12:00 AM
3

Imagine not being able to trust their father to care for them. 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:52 PM
28

I literally went on a date with a man who bragged for over an hour about “how humble” he was. 😳 Complete with examples and such.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:42 PM
13

Normalize women acknowledging they are afraid of a certain man “just because.” Instinct and intuition are invaluable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:41 PM
24

Honestly? I probably would have been better off if I skipped all the low effort dating in my 20s. I gave too many chances. All they gave me in return was attachment issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:31 PM
78

House date. Having mostly/only female friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:24 PM
10

Yep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 06:57 PM
4

Finding a new therapist who specializes in the wellbeing goals I want to achieve this year. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 06:54 PM
10

Yes. People who rely on you having no boundaries might have an absolute MELTDOWN when you put up even a small boundary. That’s why FDS recommends making your boundaries clear early with new people. With established relationships it can be even more glaring, if they’re used to being able to treat you a certain way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 05:03 PM
52

Yes. People who rely on you having no boundaries might have an absolute MELTDOWN when you put up even a small boundary. That’s why FDS recommends making your boundaries clear early with new people. With established relationships it can be even more glaring, if they’re used to being able to treat you a certain way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 05:03 PM
51

The fact that he’s still meeting up with her at all is pretty messed up. He’s playing with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 03:12 AM
24

He enjoys seeing her miserable and pining for 30 minutes every couple days. What a monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 03:10 AM
133

This is the problem with having no standards. You’re impressed by literal crumbs or even by what savvier women would recognize as red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 04:00 PM
44

Why does he do that? Because he has a messed up attitude. That’s the extent of what we need to know. Who cares about the rest. It’s always on purpose. One of my exes was flaky and often late. One day he remarked to me “You know, I’m only like this with you.” I was calm and asked him why he thought that was. He had no answers to share. He was upbeat (??) and seemed proud of himself but I refused to play the game and get upset at him. He broke up with me not long after. I’ve stopped questioning th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:37 AM
8

😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 03:54 AM
7

It’s so scary when they let the mask slip and look at you with pure hatred. So scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:53 AM
6

Just purchase a subscription for a background check service and find out what else he’s hiding. And then ghost him so hard he wonders if she ever existed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:49 AM
9

I second that WTF. Did the others not know either?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:48 AM
24

TBH I would love to have the luxury of laying about and having someone cook and clean for me. But I would still be using me non-leisure time to work an intellectually demanding job, exercise daily, and engage in numerous HV hobbies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:46 AM
39

Don’t forget the ones who want kids “someday” and they’re over 40.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:45 AM
64

Women their age won’t date them. And their brains have been melted into a puddle of delusion by porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:44 AM
15

Lying about his age and sloppy with the backstory. Can’t even keep up the con for one date. I’m not impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:43 AM
15

“I haven’t found the right guy yet.” is the answer for a bumbling coworker or your well-intentioned (but still rude) aunt. “Because I don’t settle.” is the stone cold fox answer for a suitor who asks this out of genuine curiosity. And then we vet away based on his response. Butttt I’ve never had a man ask me that out of genuine curiosity. It always has a manipulative undercurrent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:39 AM
8

How awkward that he leveled that on her before they’ve even met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:22 AM
6

Agreed. It doesn’t matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:21 AM
9

Devaluing is for agreeing to date them. Accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:17 AM
8

This is a risk of online dating. It’s happened to me in some shape or form many times. Their rationale is irrelevant and of no value. They disqualified themselves and that’s it! Meeting men IRL or being set up through mutual connections will spare some of this time wasting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:35 AM
26

It’s possible he was there and stalking you from a distance. Whatever his deal was, you don’t need that in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:30 AM
2

Meanwhile I’m thinking how cute her tattoos look. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:10 AM
1

This man is a risk to her career and sanity. He knew he was on camera and put on a show. Why else would he come on Reddit and brag about it. NEXT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:03 AM
1

She sounds like a Queen and a good luck charm. And he sounds… like a grumpy, jealous toad. NEXT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:15 AM
16

Me neither.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:53 AM
3

What is CNC?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:52 AM
13

Some kinks are depraved and harmful and SHOULD BE SHAMED. When the f did “deviance” (putting it lightly) become okay? No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:51 AM
19

A couple hours digesting Andrea Dworkin’s work should put anyone with a sense of decency off of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:46 AM
26

This was such a great episode. I just went through my mental list of men who had a mattress on the floor and… 100% of them were LV/NV. I’m among the many ladies who struggle to get a rotation going because I just don’t meet that many men I’m interested in. I’d rather use my available social time with friends, family, and coworkers and not some guy I’m only lukewarm on. I figure continuing to invest in my non-romantic social life will pay dividends regardless, and as a bonus could lead me to meet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 01:06 AM
13

What an absolute DISASTER. Good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:52 AM
6

There is no texting involved! We cross paths in person regularly. Neither has asked for my number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 06:28 PM
22

Advice, please! I’ve recently met two men IRL who pique my interest and the signs say it’s mutual (flirtatious, remember personal details I’ve shared with them, initiate conversation, ask questions about me). I cross paths with them weekly. Tips on how to keep the temperature up on flirting without backsliding into pickme tendencies? Ultimately I would be pleased if they asked me on a date. But in the past I was poor at waiting, and would often take the lead in a relationship. That masculine/pur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:10 PM
21

Three things: 1) I hope he divorces his wife - liberating her from what is probably a very sad and toxic relationship for her. 2) this man is immature for expecting a scorching hot romance after 30 years. Relationship evolve. He doesn’t see how blessed he is to settle into his later years with a, by all accounts loving, family intact. 3) The wife is potentially acting desperate - trying to “prove she loves him”? I hope she finds FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:00 PM
62

Even if you’re the full package and way out of his league. If he doesn’t cherish you, the relationship is DOOMED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 09:11 PM
3

One theme here is she’s planning the vacations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 09:06 PM
7

Very good advice! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:16 PM
6

I like men who work out every day. And shower after. And who look like they work out every day. 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:14 PM
0

Be skeptical of all dating advice. Including what you read here. Interrogate it and decide for yourself what fits with your values and wants for your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 04:16 AM
17

I loved the comment “I’m a big fan of second and third base.” Why rush past all of that for a home run?! It’s way more fun to let it unfold and build the suspense as you get to know each other in that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:49 PM
33

If a man is angry or threatened by your standards… he doesn’t meet them, he cannot afford you, it’s not a match. Thank you, next. If requiring him to have a bed frame makes me a gold digger, pass me a fucking shovel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:47 PM
49

Being lonely in any relationship (romantic, friendship, familial) is devastating. Better to be actually alone and focusing on the things that give your life meaning. A man who keeps you unloved will put you in an early grave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 04:04 AM
25

What the actual fuck was that statistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:52 AM
10

Your flare fits. This was ruthless. 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:47 AM
21

Sounds like before they ordered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:45 AM
6

You’re one step closer! Grieve if you need to. And rise from the ashes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:42 AM
23

And a guaranteed UTI.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:40 AM
30

No hate to the next woman (victim), but with these types of guys, they usually just lock down the first pickme they can find.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:39 AM
24

Beards are a negative for me. Often they’re covering something up. And unkempt and dirty. And hurt my face. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:35 AM
7

And this is why we never date down, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:33 AM
13

Respectfully, next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:35 AM
9

Accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:17 AM
3

If he wanted to, he would. He’s be asking her to come visit and asking her to be in a relationship. He’s not, so she should stop obsessing and move on. There’s no love and belonging to be found here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:08 AM
22

It was earlier. Men born in the mid/late 80s and early 90s were watching in their teens. And that was enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:53 AM
2

I’ve started cringing for them and how they treated me. Feels like progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 08:27 PM
55

I hope she warns the MIL… a guy who would do this to his wife is certainly capable of elder abuse. MIL should line up a nursing home for her old age so she doesn’t have to be subjected to her son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 01:48 PM
5

Saving this. Major food for thought. I don’t know if I was a Masculina, but my yang energy was definitely overstated. I’ve dated many a Feminina and they always gave me the ick, or strung me along “forcing” my constant pursuit. No thanks. The more I contemplate and embrace my feminine energy, the more myself I feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:22 AM
7

They’re projecting. I kind of hate this term because it’s used to invalidate people’s feelings. But in this context, it’s pretty clear that’s what’s happening. They’re also spreading all their icky feelings about their own existence onto you. No thank you. You have to repel that kind of energy. The best defense and clapback is to just BE HAPPY living your own life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:43 PM
13

People are allowed preferences. If they “prefer” attributes of a similar level of attractiveness dating options INSTANTLY expand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:09 AM
14

Can’t be me. Hot Celibate Girl Summer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:23 AM
8

This checks out. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:21 AM
8

Only the truth right here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:20 AM
21

Crying 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:18 AM
8

Yes, we play a role in this harmful culture. To an extent. But I also think, and as had been pointed out numerous times on this sub and on the pod, a lot of women are just settling for scraps. We crave connection and intimacy. And to the desperate or naive woman, a FWB or situationship might be desirable because it’s the most she can get. It’s sad but true. We have to learn how to receive love, validation, and intimacy from other sources besides men. Once you wean yourself off male validation an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:22 PM
3

Why is she still with him. What the fuck happened to her self-preservation instincts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:41 PM
8

What a MONSTER. And a STUPID one at that. As if she wouldn’t notice. Ugh. DIVORCE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:15 PM
3

Canadian men better step it up quick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:01 AM
3

Speaking from experience, it is so much fucking work to both earn all the income AND run the house. I routinely wish I had a housewife to help me out! They’re doing it right and seem really happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 10:30 PM
3

HVM want to do things for the people they love and care about. Do we all benefit from a little direction from time to time? Sure. But a HVM would never leave his new-mom wife running on fumes. Divorce, before it gets worse. PS a sulking man is literally SO annoying to deal with and will sap your innate feminine energy right out of you. Don’t stick around for this. He’s the black hole where all your passion and vitality goes to die/evaporate (whatever happens in black holes).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:48 PM
23

Very well said. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:36 PM
2

And he wonders why he’s undatable 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:19 PM
5

Forced abortion is used as a form of psychological torture and control tactic in certain societies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:03 AM
3

Divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:56 AM
38

This is tough love. A lot of us are still looking for answers on where to find HVM. It’s less about answers - which matchmakers, which apps, which bars/activities/etc - and more about LUCK. L. U. C. K. LUCK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:00 PM
10

Live as through you are the center of your own life. Focus on yourself and your goals. Put your love and energy into your female friendships and family. This is investing in your own happiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:59 AM
10

I’ve dated one (1) man who was at hot or hotter than me. I let him know how attractive I found him. That relationship was a disaster. Not saying it’s causation, but the correlation is there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:48 AM
2

Thanks for sharing this perspective. I disagree. I like makeup. I wear it almost every day, even when I’m not going out in public or video chatting with a soul. I can see how the reasons I arrived at accessing, trying, enjoying makeup are not necessarily feminist. But I LIKE it. It makes me happy. When I go through my routine, I’m not remotely thinking about how it will play to the patriarchy. I’m just having fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:45 AM
5

It seems these morons have never been called a “see you next Tuesday.” They must lack the ovas to have ever earned such a title. And yeah, our term is way more derogatory than scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:39 AM
87

Weird older guy thinks I’m mature for my age? No, I’m just twelve years old and have half (1/2) a tit. Please go away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:37 AM
5

This flare has never been more appropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:34 AM
4

What a beautiful uplifting voice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:48 AM
2

Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 07:07 AM
5

Nailed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:29 AM
2

Hilarious he’s ask that 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:29 AM
5

Get you a man who is already talking care of his own house through his own labor or by hiring someone. That’s it. That’s the trick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:28 AM
4

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:26 AM
3

I like the first photo. Clean shaven face would be better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:25 AM
5

All roads in this post lead to either rape or cheating. Sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:23 AM
2

Abs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:18 AM
10

“I wanted to date him and he wasn’t ready to commit.” THAT’S WHEN YOU WALK if not before. Don’t cling to a man who doesn’t want you. Never. Never ever ever. Chase a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:16 AM
2

Can’t be me 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:13 AM
6

I don’t speak scrote and I do not care to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:12 AM
3

I love makeup and wear it every day. I still don’t give a shit about this post and refuse to read more than what my brain automatically processed to click through to leave a comment. NEEEXT. af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:11 AM
14

If I were to carry a child to term with the intent of rising it I would like a pre-conception up-front check for $500,000 and then the same (adjusted for inflation ) every year until I die or the child’s death, which ever comes later. This fund is not to be used on any expense related to funding the child’s existence. It’s a cash infusion to make it worth my while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:09 AM
14

Usually you mount one horse on the carousel and then stay on it until the ride is over. So they’re mad because we had one partner beforehand? Or they just don’t understand how carousels work? Weird they wouldn’t understand a kid’s rise because they seem so into other kid stuff like not having pubes and being a virgin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:06 AM
6

Oh my God
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:03 AM
7

WTF am I looking at
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:59 AM
33

I think you ask an adult guest in your home to do things according to your preferences one time. If they can’t do it after the one time... verify: are you dealing with a child? Were they drunk off your fabulous margaritas? Are they typically reliable but forgot this one time? Most conscientious adults are ready to take directions from a host. If he’s at your house messing things up, in your bed getting things gross... just next him. There’s zero value in communicating with someone set on not hea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:57 AM
12

Reminds me of one of my exes. He was LV but wildly hot. Never stop vetting! We require the full package.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:53 AM
29

He doesn’t give one fuck about her or her infant. She needs to leave him immediately. I’m not even going to comment on his mental state. The details are irrelevant. He’s abusives. End of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:51 AM
45

It’s my biology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:48 AM
25

I support every woman choosing a better life for herself and living in a way that actualizes women’s liberation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:48 AM
183

She was a lawyer. He was a sandwich.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:47 AM
14

So glad you’re out. I mean this with the most love and tenderness: You’d probably benefit from working on your self-esteem. This man sounds rungs and rungs below you. You deserve your equal at the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:45 AM
6

Thank you. It was very sad and painful for a long time. Now some of those feelings are stirred up again because she reached out. I just want the best for my friends. It’s very hard when they don’t treat themselves (or me) with love and respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:47 PM
7

That is so messed up. You and your cervix deserve so much better. It was probably on purpose because most men don’t even notice the strings with their d or their fingers. He had to be looking for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:44 PM
25

Men somehow know this and we don’t. Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:24 AM
57

Ummm you would FUCKING NOTICE if he tried to pull out your IUD. That shit is painful. You have to be a real monster to perform a backwoods medical procedure on your woman without her consent. FFS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:23 AM
10

Ugh I have to stop reading this sub while eating. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:45 AM
17

Flip side of that is men who don’t timely follow up after dates. Communication should be reliable and consistent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:44 AM
13

Slip... if he’s even trying to hide what a jerk he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:43 AM
102

Idk. I cannot IMAGINE saying that to someone. He has problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:42 AM
33

I’m in a situation like this right now with a pickme friend who consistently, over the course of years, put her relationships with LVM ahead of our friendship. And eventually I got fed up. I’ve been distancing myself for a couple years. She’s recently reached out to me again and I don’t know what to do about it. Her olive branch acknowledged no self-awareness about her bad friendship behavior in recent years. She’s highly intelligent but has a childlike level of emotional maturity or self-contro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:20 PM
75

Growing old in peace is a luxury. A relationship with a LVM can curtail your prospects of growing old or even a shed of peace. For me it’s HVM or bust. I’m happy for you that you’ve chosen singleness - chosen yourself! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:10 PM
8

That’s it. That’s the whole post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:12 PM
3

This is 100% true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:51 PM
5

Tell him he’s sexually harassing your daughter and that you will file a police report if you catch even a whiff of that again. Edit: and if you’re really wanting to put him on notice you could put this in writing and mail it to his house by certified mail for proof of delivery. Paper trail that pervert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:50 PM
18

I don’t even know why you would want to call your man this term. It’s a massive turnoff for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:47 PM
2

No, he’s weird as fuck. That’s bottom barrel fkd up nasty VILE behavior to sexualize a person’s relationship with their PARENT. NEEEEEEXT. NEXT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:46 PM
10

👏MEANWHILE WHO CARES THO.👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:44 PM
7

If she’s repulsed by his odor she has to break up with him. Scent is a crucial indicator of compatibility. Your partner should smell amazing to you. He ain’t it. Also he’s dirty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:43 PM
8

We can’t necessarily screen through questions alone. We have to observe their actions over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:44 PM
3

She shouldn’t marry him. It will only get worse. She should cut her losses and go. Or hire a lawyer and sue him for her unpaid labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:18 PM
13

Listen to the podcast episode from this week. The big consumers have a certain creepy energy to them. It’s the way they look at you like a piece of meat. Or look through you because they’re running some fkd up scenario in their mind. As a general matter, work on getting in touch with your female intuition. It will tell you so much about the men you’re dating and then rest of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:16 PM
2

I believe you that it doesn’t stop all harassment when we’re covered up. At least it prevents them from putting their eyes directly ON us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:14 PM
17

There’s enough hot and smart guys. No reason we should have a scarcity mindset or settle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 09:33 PM
7

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:58 PM
-1

Sorry, what’s the point of this post?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:52 PM
9

It’s a scare tactic used to serve patriarchal interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:48 PM
11

They’re poisoned from all the rape and abuse. It’s very sad. I hope they can find some peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:45 PM
4

Fuck that. I’m sorry. Since we still live in this unsafe world... A self-protection strategy is earphones in (to justify your non-response) but nothing playing (so you can still hear what’s going on around you). Also sunglasses and a mask. Depending on your personal style I would also recommend a seasonal loose fitting long coat to keep eyes off your body and put another layer between you and them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:42 PM
74

Being late, especially in the early stages. Some people are chronically late. I get that. I accept that from certain people in my life, but generally in love and business don’t appreciate it. Being late for a first date with someone you’re really into? Unlikely. He’s probably not that into you and this can never be HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:38 PM
152

Seconding this approach. And even if he says “I don’t really watch it” - DO NOT SHOW YOUR HAND. Keep vetting for this. He could be lying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:35 PM
150

Never. Chase. A. Man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:33 PM
65

Let me translate something here. Sapiosexual is not a sexual orientation. Most people want to be with their intellectual equal. What this says to me is that the guy has a habit of picking women on looks alone and then gets pissy when said women doesn’t meet his intellectual level or share his interests. Despite that he could have vetted for that at the outset. In other words, he’s shallow, hasty, and entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:30 PM
92

Maybe we should just walk when they pout about having to take care of themselves in this (very serious) way? Can’t fix this kind of attitude and I don’t want it up inside me messing with my physical and psychic balance. I too have dated men who pouted or outright refused to test. I wish I’d walked bc they were terrible in so many other ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:24 AM
204

I’m aware this is a thing from other posts on FDS. And yet every time I see this situation I ask: “are you fucking kidding me?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:20 AM
19

Always putting their own interest first by default. Period. And then flipping the script and throwing a mantrum when they feel threatened by a woman who has a shred of dignity. This is a good post but OMG is this a boring situation to be in. If I wanted to play with a toddler I’d call up some of my friends with kids. At least those meltdowns come with opportunity for personal growth (of said toddler).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:45 PM
28

I think the point of that new series is to declare in a semi-controversial way that women are allowed to have physical standards for their mates. I think the fact that it can be unnerving is part of the demonstration - it’s loud and it’s “taking up space” as the saying goes. Personally I felt neutral about it but can see why some FDS members might not like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:49 PM
4

Too true. Even ickier is when they try to act all cunning and outsmart (manipulate) you to reclaim their manhood. Sorry, buddy. I see right through what you’re doing I’m just not reacting because it’s not worth my energy. I’ve stuck around for this BS in the past but never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:08 PM
147

With LVM, it’s always about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:45 PM
37

I don’t like beards. Full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:17 AM
45

👏👏👏 And this is precisely my point! You are entitled to your own wants and requirements. Neither of ours is better. Both are neutral and for the most part have no bearing on anyone but ourselves. We don’t owe prospects a THING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:42 PM
84

Your assessment of where the downvotes come from matches my experience in this sub. My karma is meaningless to me, so people can downvote me to hell for all I care. I’m sorry you’ve also shared this unsavory experience of dating intelligent LVM. I would agree that dating for brains comes with its benefits and substantial drawbacks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:40 PM
75

It’s very real. It’s also a horrible sensation in the moment. Feels like time has stopped. The air has been sucked out of the room. My tongue is numb and frozen. The ground is unstable beneath me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:42 PM
13

Sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:31 AM
4

Ummmmmm no. Just looking at the two of him side by side I question what he sees in her. She’s literally almost a child and he’s however old. This is vile. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:58 AM
3

You silently and thoroughly remove every trace of yourself from his life ans never speak to him again. He knows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:56 AM
3

Ewwwwww pity dates 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:54 AM
1

It matters 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:54 AM
2

I literally have transcended the interest of giving a rat’s booty what any of them think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:53 AM
7

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 I love her voice so I checked out the pod. First episode I listened to was an interview with a woman in her 50s who is a huge pickme (or just exceedingly naive, if we’re being generous). Lady was giving advice to go on walk dates because they “spark connection” and encouraging girls to ask to define the relationship after a couple dates (if he wanted to, you wouldn’t have to fucking ask), to show their cards about what they were looking for. In the interview I could hear Serena doubting th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:52 AM
14

Fucking oxytocin out here messing up my whole plan
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:47 AM
18

Blah blah blah blah I’m an abusive person blah blah split blah blah legs blah blah blah barf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:40 AM
42

This word salad is greasy and peppered with lies. I’m ordering sweetgreen instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:39 AM
8

You give an addy nearby but not to your house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:53 PM
2

Agreed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 10:28 PM
36

Family of origin issues is good. “Trauma due to parental abuse” also explains it. I also hate that term mainly because of how it specializes and makes cute women’s mental suffering due to abuse by a caretaker. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:52 PM
6

This sounds like how I treat myself. So yeah, I want this, too. Minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:26 AM
28

This is nothing but truth. Researching her immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:29 PM
12

Yes I would because it’s important that we agree on that issue and underlying values. But the policy stance and personal choice are two separate matters. Ideally he would share his stance first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:19 AM
30

Technically we have the right. In practice we don’t because the cost is too high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:12 AM
43

I would not show my cards about my personal stance on whether I would have an abortion. As a matter of policy, I’m pro choice (pro female bodily autonomy). But as a personal matter, that’s a case by case decision. I’d like to know his view, but he doesn’t get a say in mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:09 AM
77

If you find yourself having to explain your boundaries or standards to a man... it’s probably a lost cause anyways. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:19 AM
22

I tend to prefer middle of the bell curve and slightly above. Outliers tend to be too much to handle. Multiple of my exes well exceeded “middle”, and STILL had insecurity that they put on me. So yeah, I’m gonna have my physical preferences. But I also require a guy with BDE (regardless of actual size) because I like BDE, and SDE is a turnoff worse than an actual SD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:28 PM
24

Consent is irrelevant and meaningless to a guy like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:27 PM
34

Have you read the handbook? He showed his true colors before date 1 when he invited you on last minute plans to get drunk with his friends. Probably just wanted a warm body to take home to his cave at the end of the night. Next he made you plan date 2. And then he invaded your home and privacy not once but twice when he asked to shower at your house and then sleep over. That is NOT NORMAL behavior. That’s mega weird stranger danger stuff right there. Taking his thingie out at the end of the nigh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:22 PM
15

Why is she even with him. She should sell the house anyways, buy what she wants with her own money, and drop this deadweight. Can’t imagine their sex life is any good at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:12 PM
7

Reminder to never let NVM in your car. Ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:59 PM
20

Me: Gold-digger is a misogynistic construct of the patriarchy which neglects centuries of women’s utter financial dependence on men. Also me: six figures or bust. I’ve never been called a gold-digger, but I also only date men with similar or greater earnings than me. We’re allowed to have standards!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:56 PM
27

So true though. Feeling lonely? Call a family member to catch up. Make a friend. Exercise. Or just sit with the feeling of loneliness because it will pass. Seeking comfort in men is almost guaranteed to make everything WORSE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:48 PM
38

Wtf am I looking at here. Is this a joke?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:36 PM
20

A “mentor” sexually propositioned me in my mid-twenties. Be ware at all ages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:27 AM
29

Tell me you’ve never been treated right by a man without telling me you’ve never been treated right by a man. She’s in bliss over mere scraps. This is very sad to read. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:25 AM
55

I don’t like these kinds of shows. I don’t like that rape and torture is made a storyline for profit. And I can’t stomach the gore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:16 AM
19

I wear makeup 95% days. Usually minimal feature-enhancing looks. Sometimes bright colors because they’re fun. Yes, at home. Yes, during the pandemic. Yes, when I’m not going to see anyone else. I like makeup. I realize that the reasons I ended up trying and liking makeup might not be benign. At this juncture in life, I don’t care. I enjoy it and I’m going to keep wearing when I’m alone and in public.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:25 PM
12

WE. CANNOT. STAND. REASON. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:09 PM
45

This is gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:07 PM
3

This has been such a hard truth. But it’s absolutely true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:35 AM
7

Thank goodness! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:45 PM
20

☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:28 AM
340

He’s pouring his resentment over his own professional/financial struggles into her instead of taking responsibility for his shortcomings. It wasn’t a problem when he was making good money. Now that he’s not, he’s looking for someone to blame and chose his wife who has been seemingly excelling in her SAHM domain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:49 AM
38

And it’s hilarious 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 12:00 AM
106

She’s so smart I love this content
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:55 PM
15

I love her. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:54 PM
3

Totally. It’s so important to educate ourselves on manipulation tactics. I’ve had to learn this all as an adult, ironically due to my HV upbringing. I’m grateful that I was raised in a family that used zero, and I mean zero, manipulation tactics or ulterior communication strategies. My schools and community were also very HV in that regard. I was never verbally abused by anyone in my “formative years.” Saved a lot of heartache in that domain. However, this all means I arrived at adulthood just n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:09 PM
31

Paying rent all by myself (at least 2x as expensive as if I were sharing with a fiancé/husband) is an investment in myself and my peace. In my 30s, I can’t imagine living with a roommate let alone some man who hasn’t made a downpayment on our relationship (read: a ring of an income-appropriate price, paid in full by him before proposing).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:52 PM
15

If he can’t pull out his toolbox and fix it, he better pull out his phone and wallet. And in a timely way. That’s what I would do, I expect nothing less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:46 PM
56

Add to list: regular dental cleanings (2x/year MINIMUM) and health check ups. Can make own doctor’s appointments. Some of the stuff on this list (ex: car maintenance, installing shingles) I wouldn’t consider basic skills. IMO, you either know how to do these things yourself, or you have a mature attitude about paying a qualified professional a fair price to do it for you. A half-assed DIY or shoddy workmanship will cost even more time, energy, and money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:44 PM
12

Or just wants to commandeer her attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:57 AM
2

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:57 AM
45

Maybe you should be a lawyer. Damn. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:00 PM
24

It really sucks to feel second-best to a friend’s LVM. I recently lost a long friendship over this, because she was constantly deprioritizing me for her (abusive) man. I stopped relying on her for any friendship benefits. Eventually she got mean, and then vicious when I asserted a boundary one time. And I just had enough. Maybe it can be rekindled in a new way after she ditches her LVM and heals from her pickmeism. Before that all happens, it’s just really hard to see a path forward on a recipro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:53 PM
24

I’m not reading past the first page. This is sad and gross. He probably doesn’t like her anymore and is just sticking around for convenience. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:32 PM
2

“Last minute dates.” Sir, you need to get some friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:54 PM
15

Dinner isn’t that much longer than drinks and is far more revealing of his character. It’s a better investment of your time because you learn more, check off a meal for the day (everyone has to eat), and can skip the hangover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:54 PM
1

It’s a mixed bag. It also doesn’t redeem a thing if he’s a jerk but good in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:40 AM
11

I would break up and sell the ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:55 PM
58

It’s not time to give up, it’s time to embrace FDS harder. Here’s what FDS would lovingly say: Your standards are probably way too low. You’re probably giving chances to men who are throwing up red flags and don’t deserve a text back, let alone your body. This isn’t about your behavior being a problem, this is about you being awake in your own life and taking control, and not letting users run the show. You are the boss. I used to feel used often by men after dates even when it didn’t get remote…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:08 PM
11

This is such a sad story. I’m so glad you’re out of it. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:35 PM
17

This. You gotta get in the habit of feeling and processing through them. After you’ve started to heal, it will be easier to grapple with negative emotions as they come up. Everyone feels bad sometimes and has bad moments. You can also start choosing for yourself not to let that bad feeling take over your whole day. It’s hard to explain how to actually maneuver that internally. For me it got easier when I got more in touch with my intuition and distanced myself from toxic people. So I could actua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:33 PM
105

In general, focusing on insignificant details in order to detract from your valid concern? This is a jerk thing to do, and likely is abusive. Don’t put up with this shit, not ever. Just shut down and remove yourself. There’s zero getting through to this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:28 PM
37

*tabs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:26 PM
12

Congrats! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:24 PM
32

WTF? It’s irritating that men get kudos for having a wife and kids. This guy is literally cheating to those professional bennies. How gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:20 PM
94

Front page of the handbook material right here. This is soooo true. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:07 PM
193

Omg. I was gonna say this. You will KNOW if you’re the placeholder because you’ll always be in a state of longing and want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:01 PM
82

Also wanting four children at 37 while likely making zero moves towards that for the last four-ish decades.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:21 AM
88

Seriously. Also he’s not even purporting to be a trad husband: masculine, a provider, fit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:05 AM
47

I didn’t know it was possible to construct a bio entirely of red flags. But he did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:58 AM
24

I’m sorry you’re suffering. Those guys who blew you off after 3-4 dates with no sex were LV and did you a favor by leaving. FWIW they do this to all women regardless of her rationale. They’re entitled and impatient and unqualified to get near you. I’m sure your body can do many important and wonderful things. Penetration is one thing. Not the one thing. You are worth more than your vagina in general and in the context of a sexual relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:54 AM
6

That’s a manipulative comment to make to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:05 AM
5

Laying it bare. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:04 AM
22

Short women are not safe from their virulent insecurities. I’m short. I’ve dated shorter men (5’6”-7”). They still put that on me and made me feel weird about their height complex. Even though it was literally a non-issue for me. And for the record I do know seemingly HVM who are short and don’t have a complex about it. It’s possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:04 PM
2

This is true. They use burners. But an addict can only hide for so long. That’s why the vetting never stops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:58 PM
6

I had a good relationship with my parents amd they did with each other. But I unhealthy romantic relationships in my early teens that converted me to a pickme. Some healthy relationships followed in my 20s, but also additional harmful situationships. In terms of how I recovered from that? My intuition kickstarted it. It started just screaming at me “you deserve more” after I’d ignored it for so long. Then therapy, lots of self-help books, and a big one - prioritizing sleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:55 PM
98

I’ve been staying this for ages. I’ve educated many of my peers on this. The cultural misogyny is so strong that this reality has been totally disregarded in the mainstream. Hopefully that’s changing now. It does not make me feel better that fertility woes and heritable diseases “are men’s fault, too.” Failing to conceive or having a child with a disease are big emotional challenges for would-be parents. But I AM ready for society to fucking stop blanket blaming women for these challenges. And s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:51 PM
10

Recap of the last three disagreements I’ve had with men: 1) LVX was late and ornery for no reason. Turns it around on me “oh so this is MY fault” (um, yes). 2) male friend: I gently confronted him for saying some hurtful things to me (again), and he blames me for not telling him sooner. 3) male coworker got huffy and stormed off when I played dumb fox and refused to let him gaslight me when he was being sexist. Zero genuine accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:12 PM
35

She’s right though. It’s horrible that this industry hijacks children’s sexuality. I experienced the negative results of that. In high school my virgin 14 year old boyfriend was already addicted and his view of sexuality corrupted. He put that on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:59 PM
30

There’s also tends of thousands of kids in foster case who need homes for right now. Others of us aspire only to being aunts and honorary aunts. Lots of ways to give love to children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:48 PM
17

Him asking to “meet up” was a red flag. FDS would not interpret that as a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:16 PM
17

There’s a certain romance to this lifestyle. People pay good money to go camping and experience this short-term. Personally I’m not interested in this lifestyle or even camping for any extended period of time. I’d rather vacation at a resort. I enjoy having a luxurious bathroom and pristine hygiene. I like have space to spread out with my creature comforts. Maybe he’ll meet a woman who’s interested in this lifestyle. But I’d venture that most are not. I also think it’s perfectly reasonable to ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:09 PM
23

File under “FDS interprets men” “Send me a pic” = send me nudes. Don’t. Do. It. Everrrr.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:02 AM
450

Never be too proud to leave. Protecting your peace is dignified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:50 PM
47

The Nest story was tragic. What is the Mr. Butt Crumbs, Esq. story? 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:33 PM
4

I wish I had known this years ago. Grateful that I do now. I’ve seen them flip it all around and become even more monstrous. Don’t go to therapy with an abuser. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:03 AM
92

I’d put domestic violence on that list as well. A male acquaintance recently tried to gaslight me about a DV case that was in the local news. It was puzzling and offensive at the time. But at least I know now that I can’t trust him. I’d rather know that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:47 PM
44

Better to be single with this occasional feeling you characterize as grief, than feel lonely AF with a man who doesn’t respect you, care for your feelings/boundaries, or make something special of your holidays. Anyone who has felt lonely within a romantic relationship or even a friendship knows that it’s far far far far farrrr worse to feel lonely inside a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:20 AM
4

30s. Have never sent a nude. Never will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:16 AM
3

If we waited until everything was perfectly aligned before taking the next step, we’d never achieve or benefit. Trust your intuition!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:28 PM
39

He wants to rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:10 PM
3

Congrats! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:08 PM
20

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t want my future HVM husband to be my best friend. I have multiple women in that role or near-contenders. I would never want to displace those important relationships. Further, I simply connect more with women. I like girly stuff. I have a very feminine spirit. While I am romantically interested/compatible with men, I just don’t see any relationship with a man rising to level of bestie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:07 PM
1

Your friends’ counter argument about a child needing a two parent household probably comes from a good place. But the thing is, you have zero guarantee that your child will have that. Even if you were married to a HVM, he could die, leave, turn out to be abusive (worse than dying or leaving). If you desire children and think you’d be a good mom you should do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:01 PM
23

This is a plot line in Big Little Lies. That show was hugely illuminating for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:46 PM
4

It’s abusive that the husband brought this threat back into the house when she’s pregnant and vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:44 PM
17

💕Lilith💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:54 PM
3

What a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 06:22 PM
41

I can’t stomach this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:07 PM
9

She looks like that and her husband still “needs” porn? There’s something wrong with him. And even if she didn’t look like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:57 PM
61

I told him I was sexually harassed at work and he barely engaged, and then cut the date short. And I continued to date him. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:49 PM
201

They do. There’s also a category of men who are occasional users of non-hardcore stuff who would quit if they woke up and/or the right woman asked. Personally I was not aware of how deeply problematic the industry is until the last year (I’m in my 30s) because I simply never watched any violent/depraved content. Only the female-centered type. Now I get it and I’ve sworn it all off. I think an intelligent man with solid values (such as being a true feminist, not just performatively so) would quit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:48 PM
10

At 49 he “realized” how to be helpful and pickup after himself. This is something we teach children in preschool. He’s just been expecting her to do this all along, which is lazy and entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:48 PM
13

I used it for a couple years and eventually had to delete it because a NVM was using it to triangulate and manipulate me. Literally sucked the fun out of an app I was innocently using to share laughs with friends. Snapchat is certainly LV and probably a NV app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:41 PM
13

This resonates so hard. I had a particularly difficult short-term relationship a few years ago that totally upended the way I view dating. There is literally a before and an after in my dating life. He checked all my boxes. I trusted him. I romanticized who I believed him to be. He ghosted me quite brutally after we had sex for the first time. He conned me. I was susceptible to his con despite my intelligence because I was spinning in a pickme mindset. It was a horrible experience. It changed ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:40 PM
24

Unbelievable that this is actually a thing that happens. Splitting coffee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:30 PM
48

Women cannot “have sex like men.” This is one of the biggest lies liberal feminism and the left wing patriarchy are selling. We experience attachment differently due to our hormonal responses from sex. Men do not experience this attachment boost from sex with a woman he’s not already in love with. Also, it’s just fucking okay and normal to want sustained intimacy with a romantic/sexual partner. I have major side eye for anyone who wants to dismiss the value of a committed, loving, whole relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:22 PM
3

It’s used that way in our society, probably both naively and purposefully. Our discussion here is about how problematic it is that this term normalizes commodified rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:15 PM
21

Agreed. The more we talk about it, the more people will realize. And we can peddle back the harmful narrative. As a millennial, I came of age in a culture that accepted and promoted “sex positivity.” There’s scores of people out there who do support our viewpoint at their core, if only they have a chance to breathe fresh air on the topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:54 AM
36

Girl I’d choke on the coffee I paid for on this date. Oh wait... 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:40 AM
203

Anyone else shrink at the term “sex worker”? It feels like a double insult: the fact that she had to work in conditions of commodified rape, and that this term makes it seem like a sunshiney free choice to be in this line of work. Honestly I prefer the term “prostitute.” It’s more genuine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:34 AM
21

Au contraire, being single affords you the clarity on what you have to lose by dating a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:29 AM
54

Idk why women stick around when he can’t get you off. I’ve faked an orgasm a total of one (1) times and that was so I could leave faster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:16 AM
48

The backstory from Wikipedia. If FDS aligns with any one feminist ideology, it’s likely closest to radfem. I’ve seen many a Dworkin stan on this sub. Below explains the origin of “sex positivity.” There’s a reason this term doesn’t sit right with many FDS women. “Sex-positive feminism, also known as pro-sex feminism, sex-radical feminism, or sexually liberal feminism, is a movement that began in the early 1980s. Some became involved in the sex-positive feminist movement in response to efforts by…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:13 PM
5

This guy is creepy and patronizing. His advice is worthless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:17 PM
28

I expect decentering men to be a lifelong practice because society is built with them as the focal point and the beneficiaries of most structures. I’ve done a ton of work on this. But so I still feel a flutter of pickme feelings from time to time? Absolutely. And that’s okay. I just keep choosing myself and my authentic freedom, and saying “no” to the pickme urges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:13 PM
7

Vetting it key. I’ve dated several LVM who used dance classes specifically to meet women. So LV that they revealed their agenda to me. I met them through OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:05 PM
1

There are literally no magic words that would make me do this. Maybe if it were pronounced with at minimum six zeroes at the end. But even then, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 08:08 PM
8

I love this post. It literally gave me chills as I was imagining all the gently liberating style moves I want to make, inspired by this post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:21 PM
26

Literally added insult to injury. What a horrible man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:13 PM
63

If this was part of a school sanctioned activity I would report him for sexual harassment. 💕 feminist killjoy 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:12 PM
46

Ladies, I kid you not, an app FORCIBLY lowered my standards. I was on The League and got notice from the app that my search criteria were too strict, so they loosened them. That app is not HV, FYI. Only three match options per day and rarely do I get one that meets my standards for education/career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:00 PM
2

Soon as it’s safe in my area I’m signing up. Get that boogie booty. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:57 PM
11

You sound like a very effective person and an achiever. That’s a great thing! I would recommend not holding yourself too rigidly to a timeline. If it starts to feel oppressive, try loosening your grip a little on these goals. This sort of rigid planning caused me a lot of consternation in my 20s. Would just want you to be set up to enjoy your freedom and leveling up process, without the specter of a timeline if it’s not essential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:24 PM
17

This is nasty. Who puts shoes on a white chair!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:38 AM
9

I like some of her content but definitely don’t agree with all of it. I recently was trying to learn more about her backstory and found some video where the woman asserts she’s a scammer. Watched the video and the woman had no evidence, she was just mad that Anna is selling an expensive class during the pandemic. I don’t see Anna’s classes as a scam, but then again I wouldn’t buy into them myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:12 PM
12

I didn’t know she used to be an escort. She’s open about having worked as a dancer at a night club before upgrading her lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:10 PM
9

He probably smells terrible too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:07 PM
47

I hate to know that some poor, well-intentioned, unenlightened woman will read this and think to herself “I should ask men out more often!” No. Do not do this. It won’t solve the effort problem one iota. He’ll probably act like an ungrateful brat about showing up on time and groomed to whatever she plans. If he doesn’t make an effort right out the gate, the whole relationship is going to be a struggle of begging him to do less than the bare minimum. Not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:06 PM
7

The artist/activist violetclair on Instagram shares a lot of resources on your question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:50 PM
7

You can be prettier year after year. It’s called leveling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:41 PM
2

😂 thank you. I’m so used to the horror stories. This is a sweet one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:34 PM
22

Oh it’s for sure a thing. I know a LVM who insists it’s better for his dog to not be neutered. Um, sir, you’re wrong. Also, who is cleaning up the dogs spray in your house?! Nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:27 AM
2

What.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:36 AM
6

He just can’t keep up with her, and can’t muster the effort or ability to even tend to himself and his portion of the home. He resents her for her accomplishments. I hope she dumps him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:29 AM
1

Just based on the title: block and delete. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:14 AM
29

I’m not interested in another article about women’s fertility. Start reporting on men’s factor in conception, which has been sorely left out of the sciencey shaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:13 AM
22

Is it just me or does the male commentator sound like a pedophile?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:11 AM
11

Totally. Goes for men you’re dating pressuring you into sex, long term partner doing sex act to your body when you’re in a vulnerable state -act you specifically asked them not to do. They’re depraved. (Edit: typo)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:09 AM
18

HELLO. THIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:03 AM
10

I want both. The house I’ll work towards buying on my own. The ring will be his fabulous gift to me, if I ever meet that HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:00 AM
11

Omg there’s MORE than the first page of this?! Wtf how is this real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:55 AM
10

It doesn’t make sense. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:52 AM
9

Agreed. Waste of time. He doesn’t care. He likes this attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:34 PM
4

When a man uses the b word, it’s over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:20 PM
25

Yup and he’s setting her up to be a pickme, to have to strive to make it “go well” in his view. Fuck off with that nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:44 AM
27

“Wasn’t sure” my ass. He doesn’t want them, but he’s keeping the door open to manipulate and coerce women with the promise or requirement of children. How warped and pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:40 AM
77

I just don’t get it. Why don’t they desire commitment and relationships? Do they hate us that much? “Let’s see where it goes” is a dealbreaker for me. He thinks he’s being coy when actually he’s saying he’s the chooser (incorrect) and that he’s uncertain of my worth (irreparably rude). Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:44 AM
2

What a gross creepy weirdo control freak. Hot, but totally undatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:57 AM
15

If he cares, he’ll ask and/or he’ll follow up that you did get home safe. If he doesn’t care about you, he won’t. Also there are lots of men who will ask for that text but are disingenuous. Keep vetting. Edit: typo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:55 AM
33

Interesting take! Consider it deleted from my vocabulary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:54 AM
8

Thank you for sharing your story. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:53 AM
3

☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:47 AM
5

Do we have a term for a LVM/NVM masquerading as a HVM? The type that’s decent at faking it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:11 PM
14

Yeah it’s creepy af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:48 PM
23

Nancy would never stick around if Ned Nickerson tried to play her like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:46 PM
38

This has to be a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:54 AM
8

I took a look through the sub this post originated from and... wow. It’s breathtakingly sad. It’s just a bunch of people rallying to lower each other’s standards and cOmMuNiCaTe. There were a few scraps of good advice on there. But for the most part it was very 😣☹️😔🥺 This is why standards and self-esteem matter. Forgoing them is a form of self-harm. 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:12 AM
1

He doesn’t care. He’s just shooting his shot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:08 AM
26

It’s honestly embarrassing for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:38 PM
1

Congrats 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:23 PM
34

That’s spending $35 on her...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 09:56 PM
17

That last sentence. That’s the number one reason they suggest coffee (and most likely want to split coffee). They’re shamelessly checking her fuckability. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:32 PM
12

This level of entitlement makes my blood boil. So many women coerced into sex to prove themselves worthy of some LVM and he just ditches her afterwards anyways. It makes me so sad and angry that our society is such a way that any woman would fall for this. This is why we need FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:43 PM
20

Also fuck him for making fun of “mid-30s wine mom bodies.” Literally zero of the women he’s trashing who have a single shred of self-respect would be interested in this monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:32 PM
5

It is a thing. But I’ve also more commonly see women lose their attraction to their male partner after he violates her in a way that causes her to lose respect for him. Her libido in the relationship is the ultimate barometer of how things are going (taking out normal fluctuations, such as those around pregnancy).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:31 PM
9

Exactly this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:28 PM
51

Exactly. I would venture EVERYONE likes it better without a condom. But the men who are using that as grounds to convince you to take the risk with him? He’s doing it with every woman. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:16 PM
7

FFS. NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:14 PM
28

This is all so disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:12 PM
120

What a monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:07 PM
55

He probably thinks it’s too small from watching porn. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:06 PM
19

It’s an enormous risk, even if you’re married and/or he’s the love of your life. I know multiple women whose male partners violated their trust and shared their nudes without their consent. Some of them were even coerced into taking them in the first place. Which should be a criminal combination. I’m glad that revenge porn laws are becoming more prevalent. The problem isn’t the pictures or the female sexuality. The problem is the male entitlement that convinces predators the photos are theirs to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:40 PM
2

You’re writing a dissertation and he’s living like a couch creature. Just another iteration of “she was a lawyer, he was a sandwich.” Queen, just focus on getting your finances in order and start building up an emotional barrier between your sacred energy and him. Talk to your friends and family and build up a support system. And then leave him. PS this list of offenses is utterly depraved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:57 PM
24

As stated on the podcast this week, HVM won’t be upset by women’s preferences, or the flipside, their unwillingness to entertain LVM. “They just won’t think it applies to them” and will remain unbothered because they’re peacefully aware that they meet the standard. The men who are big mad about our reasonable preferences and call it eugenics? They’re just waving a ginormous red flag and stating they don’t have what it takes to be a HVM provider.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:43 PM
23

Agreed. I’ve made exceptions in the past for physical traits, and then got hooked on the guy due to oxytocin, etc. I don’t want that for me again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:23 AM
60

This just in: women are allowed to have physical standards for their partners. Get yours, sis. 💕 But what about men!!? They’ve always had them, we know because they don’t shut up about it. Butwhataboutery is my new favorite word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:15 PM
6

There’s so much more to being a HVM than “nice dates.” It’s an entire demeanor and mindset, not just financial checkboxes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:55 PM
94

Good for you, for realizing that he’s using you for emotional labor. It’s not flattering, it’s not friendly. It’s the worst. Blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:47 PM
22

🤯🤯🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:42 AM
7

The best clapback is leveling up. I think there’s a place for offering platitudes to NVM and letting them feel like they won. It placates their egos, which are a serious threat to our safety when activated. Choose the low drama path and invest your energy into yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:38 PM
7

One likely factor is our pedophilic beauty standards. We’ve managed to eroticize youth and traits of young girls. One mainstream example: the standard of adult women shaving their vulva bare. Like a literal child. It’s disturbing. I would lose all interest and respect for a man who even hinted he wanted that from me. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:35 PM
7

Sis, you should dump him. 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:26 PM
18

I want every woman and girl to know about these physiological realities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:22 PM
100

When you read this “joke” who do you picture telling it or laughing at it? Think. Think. Yes, that’s the guy I’m talking about. You should disengage from him(s).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:02 PM
17

That would be odd to clarify the bill before ordering. That usually happens at the end. He should be taking the check immediately, or even discretely asked the server ahead of time to hand it to him. Leaving it on the table, letting her do the dance of offering to split - big red flags. Worse, if he allows or asks her to pay? An FDS woman pays her share with no fuss, and then blocks and deletes as soon as she can. This is the low drama, face saving approach for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 01:33 PM
3

Interesting take. 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 01:25 PM
20

This is perhaps the only benefit of mansplaining. It quickly reveals if a man is low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:10 PM
18

Today I’m ruminating on how one of my LV exes tried to convince me (gaslight) into thinking I had “huge boobs.” I wear a C cup. It left me thinking “are they huge?” because I was still in a delusional mindset of taking men at face value. But I knew he was wrong. They’re squarely small-to-medium.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:35 PM
40

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 03:46 PM
140

He’s not into her but decided to stick it out to see how much he can extract with zero effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:14 PM
22

This all sounds fabulous! Enjoy. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:12 PM
9

Personality really matters. And entitlement is so off-putting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:49 PM
2

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:47 PM
38

No fucking way. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:10 AM
28

Dumb fox and/or block and delete. He likely knows you’re not gay and is just abusing you through this proxy. How sad. Journal it out, hit the gym hard. Don’t waste your breath on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:04 AM
19

I’ve been her. Would not recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:02 AM
8

That’s messed up. It sounds educational for us but whose idea of a pilot is “dead moms”? ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:01 AM
13

Absolutely. Drafting it out without the intention of sending helps me clarify on a deeper level. I recommend it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:58 AM
23

The Wall of Text suggested he was on a path to realizing it was him, trying to figure out exactly what the problem was. But it’s not our job to explain it. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:24 AM
3

Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:21 AM
24

It’s true. There’s no guarantee your husband will leave you anything or your children will be interested/available to help. A HVW should always mind her own future
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:18 AM
23

Congrats! Enjoy the now, keep vetting, don’t prematurely mourn the end. You’re doing great. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:14 AM
50

Neutral expression and tone “Not at all, I look precisely 29.” 🙂 When he digs his grave, “what do you mean?” him until he implodes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:10 AM
53

TLDR: you can never win with LVM. Weed them out out out and give yourself a chance at a healthy and fulfilling life. Maybe with a HVM if he comes along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:03 AM
44

This was worth the read. Thanks! My sexuality is a profound and expansive part of my personhood, ever since pre-puberty. Not many would know because my street persona is fairly conservative presenting. This period of choice celibacy during the pandemic has been a chance to really examine and cherish that part of me. Yes, I wish I could be sharing it with a man. But I would surely rather be celibate than EVER share by body and sacred sexuality with a man who couldn’t handle, understand, and honor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:01 AM
10

There’s so much here to digest. Personally I’m going to be reflecting on how hooked he still was on his ex. I’ve bypassed that red flag in the past to my detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:53 AM
25

This cuts deep. One of my longest and closest friends has the bamboozle so ingrained. It’s been very difficult to relate to her in the past couple years. When I’ve tried to help her see them truth, she’s lashed out. The harm is pervasive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:32 AM
67

Even when you have a lot to offer, the messed up attitude LVM/NVM find something to nitpick. If he starts critiquing early and wrongly, GTFO. There’s a difference between wanting better for your partner and being a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:29 AM
42

It was before I’d realized the importance of a man curating and executing (read: specifically planning and paying for) a date. What that could signal in terms of his intentions, maturity, so much more. I’m proud of prior me for having an inkling. Even though I was mired in a pickme, pornified mindset. I was underwater and starting to see the light at the surface. And now I’m breathing fresh air and treading water. My sisters are here. And I’m grateful. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:26 AM
16

You’re welcome for sharing! FDS is right on so many signs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:21 AM
35

Yikes indeed. Thanks! 💕 Annual Wall of Text? Part of me wishes he’d see a therapist. The other part of me knows that won’t help. See Lundy Bancroft.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 12:20 AM
32

I highly recommend watching this, and every video that queues up after. At least for me, these were all very informative and important. I grew up in a pornified culture (I’m in my 30s). Just finally understanding the source of so many traumas. Edit: pornified was autocorrected and I fixed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:47 PM
7

I remember your post. Congrats! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:37 PM
17

There is nothing cute about a migraine. Stop making women’s suffering cutesy FFS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:35 PM
19

I think a someone who works a lot can be HV, after you’ve sorted out that he’s not using work as an emotional barrier for your relationship. But if that lifestyle isn’t compatible to what you want, he might not be HV to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:33 PM
45

Some kinks need to be shamed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:29 PM
19

Here’s the thing. I can be very attracted to a fairly short (5’6”?) guy with an average package, if he’s handsome, stylish, has the other attributes I desire. What is NOT attractive is when they bring all their insecurities about their size(s) into the relationship. I dated a man with the above qualities and was crazy about him. I was so surprised when he started making it about his height. I just never thought about it. The insecurity was a buzzkill. He was a NVM towards me for other reasons, p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:00 PM
75

A man who assaulted me on a shitty date said something similar. Low and no value men think this way, absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:49 AM
7

You can also buy Glytone directly from the brand. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:44 PM
33

Don’t date or otherwise reward men who aren’t interested in being helpful around the house. You can’t make him want to contribute. Where are his ideas in this? Do you want to have constantly explain to your partner his role? If that’s the dynamic, he’s probably L/NV, sees it as nagging, meanwhile you burnout from being his mommy. You deserve more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:35 PM
44

The best clapback is no longer being easy/available to him after you’ve leveled up. 🌸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:30 PM
137

I mean this with all kindness. It sounds like you need to work on your self-esteem. Zeroing in on these physical traits - tattoos, gray hair, wrinkles, body shape/size are all symptoms of cultural misogyny and being (wrongly) convinced that our worth as women derives from our fuckability, according to a pedophilic standard of beauty. Your tattoos sound cool! You should rock them. You can also invest in some flattering long sleeve blouses to wear in the workplace. People don’t have to know about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:22 PM
4

I was really expecting more pizzaz from Lil Wayne’s lawyer. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:19 PM
12

Sounds like a Negative VM and abuse. This is horrible and I’m so sorry he tormented you like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:12 PM
6

This is straight up propaganda 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:52 PM
7

An HVM will see your interests and move mountains to help you enjoy and experience them. I have girly hobbies and interests. I’m in my 30s and that’s not going to change. And yes, I do think crafting a morally superior use of time to watching WWE wrestling, for instance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:51 PM
4

🧁CAKE CAKE CAKE🧁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:23 PM
2

💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:04 PM
101

Upvote for the edit. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:05 PM
10

I didn’t answer his question fast enough, which he interrupted me mid-sentence to ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 07:35 PM
13

Amazing how one little tantrum can reveal SO MUCH about a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:17 PM
31

Note how he didn’t offer up how she responded to his rejection text.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:11 PM
16

This is the perfect analysis 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:10 PM
17

I’ve been growled at by a man in a professional setting before and can confirm, it was scary AF and made me lose all respect for him. It was during a group format job interview, and he was the interviewer, I was an applicant. Wtf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:07 PM
16

Same, one. Out of numerous female friends married off the apps. All of the men seem HV on paper, but I’m pretty skeptical of several of them. I suspect a handful of these friends knowingly settled because they wanted kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 05:50 PM
20

Legitimate question: is Beyoncé a pickme? 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 01:26 AM
42

People are always going to try to get us to lower our standards. Even very confused people who love us. Don’t listen. Keep leveling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:06 AM
6

TWEET. SEVEN. Why should HIS needs take priority over mine?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:38 PM
23

🚩“I’m going to be really busy with [totally normal adult responsibility] and won’t be on here much. Here’s my number so we can text instead” 🚩 Ummm no. First of all, never chase a man. Second, don’t give your Queen energy to a man who just told you he’s too busy or poor with time management to be dating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:57 PM
34

Dad bods aren’t hot. These men are deluding themselves. It may work for them, they may feel convinced they look good. But query why the hottie, single-by-choice HVW don’t give them a second glance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:50 PM
18

The men who want and expect women to fight over them are low value. And the ones you tell you that to your face are morons. I recently conducted a post-offer discussion with a late-20s man considering joining my company. It was set up to be a largely neutral context for him to evaluate two competing offers. But at one point in the conversation he asked me to “sell him on it” and it rubbed me the wrong way. I’m not gonna dance for you. I’ve explained the many pros of working here, it’s up to you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:41 PM
5

Worth restating that “independent” means entirely different things to FDS ladies (and women, generally) than it does to NVM/LVM. We’re speaking different languages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:08 PM
17

Congrats on your academic accomplishment! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:10 PM
17

My point is that if his “avoidant” style is making you feel insecure (with any base style for yourself), don’t put up with it. He might not even be avoidant, but it’s apparent he doesn’t care if he’s putting you on edge willingly or knowingly. Can a HVM have an avoidant attachment style? Only if he’s aware of it and takes steps not to be cruel about it. Avoidance is no excuse to be a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:08 PM
34

Let’s see where this goes = do everything on my terms and I’ll decide if it works out for you. Heard on the podcast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:05 PM
7

This is a good point. A man can have an avoidant attachment style and not be a jerk about it. If he wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:01 PM
7

As Lizzo said, truth hurts. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:58 PM
6

I like this take!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:57 PM
48

I think about them way less. I’m so invested in myself and cultivating my female energy. I don’t have a crush. I don’t date. It’s been such a fulfilling time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:41 AM
73

There’s also a special breed of NVM who like to keep a harem of “female friends” that they have varying levels of sexual and romantic contact with. They love to dangle it in front of you when they feel the urge for a quick ego boot for them, soul evisceration for you. I had one of these men once. I thought I loved him. The night I found out what he truly was (told point blank by a concerned friend at a party), a pimp and a collector, my spirit ripped in half. I ugly cried in front of so many peo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:16 AM
73

💕FDS, downvoted to hell. A love story.💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:08 AM
26

Was he in high school? Sounds like something a 16 year old would find exciting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:03 AM
55

He tells you about a coffee date he went on. I am SCREAMING 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:02 AM
66

We’d been seeing each other for a couple months, nothing serious. I messaged him to make plans for us to celebrate his birthday. He replied with a breakup text, he’d met someone else at it was serious. I never responded. He “u up” texted me two weeks later. Guess it wasn’t so serious, huh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:00 AM
33

Humans have been masturbating for millennia without porn. Our imaginations are more than enough to get by and get off. Porn ruins men’s sexuality. Porn creates an entire trade enforced by rape, brutality, servitude, and murder of primarily women and children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:57 AM
16

LVM ex once cancelled on me because he ate too much sushi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:59 PM
30

This is classic “left wing patriarchy” abuse. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. You’re right to feel put off by his response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:55 PM
86

Even the “small” stuff. I told him I was working on improving the hyperpigmentation in my skin and he seemed happy for me. Sometime later, he came at me with this jab out of nowhere: “Well IIIIIIII never had acne!” It was so hurtful and bewildering I couldn’t even formulate a response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:54 PM
105

It’s a no from me, dawg. The core tenets for Trumpism and modern-day American conservatism are antithetical to female liberation, and thus antithetical to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:50 PM
5

God that’s so creepy. 😂NEXT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:48 PM
107

He’s a moron and he hates women. It sounds like it’s too late for an abortion. She should be documenting TF out of this and getting her affairs in order with her lawyer. Maybe one of her friends and their supportive partners will take her in so the three of them can care for the two newborns together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:48 PM
3

We can still be present and helpful with doing the emotional labor for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:43 PM
7

Yeah. I tend to redirect them to resources. Or if a male colleague is complaining about something and I think he’s being an entitled asshat or misunderstanding the situation, I just tell him I disagree. Fortunately my corporate culture supports women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:42 PM
7

I have so much more energy and time in the day. My GI problems cleared up and I lost 30lbs. My creativity is positively oozing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:39 PM
8

Isn’t it incredible to rediscover what it feels like to be well-rested?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:39 PM
16

It’s both. And it’s hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:36 PM
39

Came here to locate this comments. It’s total satire! That’s why it’s brilliantly funny. However I would argue that Fleabag IS a role model. She starts out as a pornaddicted pickme who dates a beta man who tells her she’s special because she can “keep up” intellectually. Then her life goes to shit because of said pickme lifestyle. And she levels up. The whole show is about her finding herself and healing. Yes, it portrays a lot of fkd up choices along the way. That’s the point. Fleabag doesn’t e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:33 PM
28

Don’t give men a pass just for being gay. I’m happy for you queens if you’ve had successful friendships with gay men. I’ve had/have a few, but I’d consider them to be more acquaintances or surface-level friends because we don’t have that emotional depth. One of my former best friends is a gay man. I couldn’t see it at the time, when I was suffocated by low self-esteem and believing what cultural misogyny told me. But within weeks of starting therapy and leveling up, I couldn’t believe how misogy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:25 PM
38

Men also tend to emotionally outsource on women without attempting or being capable of reciprocating when she’s in need. And half the time they don’t even listen to our advice, which is exhausting. What’s the point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:14 PM
16

My health also dramatically improved when I quit LVM. Congrats, sis 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:10 PM
19

“Not all men” / “men matter too” is the logical equivalent of “all lives matter”. Like, yes, duh. Of course you matter. Everyone knows this and it’s built into every aspect of society. But the point is there’s another group that’s been oppressed AF, so let’s focus on who needs help for one fkn second.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:09 PM
97

This is so important to realize. Couple this with a vow to never chase a man, and this will save scores of women years of heartache. Literally this could alleviate volumes of female human suffering if girls learned it young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 01:53 AM
31

I’m bummed that beards have become so popular because I find them disgusting from a hygiene standpoint. I’ve invested $$$ and time into my skin, no fkn way I’m letting that unwashed Brillo pad touch my face. Not even a well-groomed beards (which are a shrinking minority).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:31 AM
27

They could have stopped him and they chose not to. Bystander effect + misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:14 AM
2

It’s okay. Today is the perfect day to raise your standards. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:21 PM
77

They want to keep the bar low so they don’t have to lift a finger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:08 PM
130

He said he found Greta Thurnberg beyond annoying. The contempt in his voice was disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:06 PM
22

Once we get a taste for the peace that comes from healing our self-esteem and intuition, the drama is no longer appealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:57 PM
10

No. A friend of mine’s bf has the most grating, quintessential NEGATIVE VM leftover from college (were 30s). It truly makes me question BF’s integrity. We’ll see if NVM is still invited around post-Covid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:56 PM
103

When we break up we are liberated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:52 PM
53

Okay, so find an age appropriate partner who is also young at heart. Stop. Leeching!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:51 PM
28

Sis, that’s awful. So glad you’re no longer with him. Take care of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:48 PM
13

Dad’s, how do you cope with the realization that you’re an entitled waste of space?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:43 PM
8

Men having their own condoms is the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:41 PM
4

Love your username! And yeah, I’ve been thinking about it all week. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:39 PM
9

Yeah she’s basically threatening to sexually abuse the daughter through the half-brother, who also clearly isn’t getting a good upbringing from this woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:56 AM
4

This is facts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:29 AM
2

The joke’s on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:24 AM
11

Exactly. As a teen in a customer service job, I thought I was building rapport with a repeat customer in his 40s. Until he asked me on a date. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:09 AM
6

I believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:00 AM
2

This can’t be restated enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:53 AM
14

My (hypocritical) standard: don’t date Redditor men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:46 AM
9

Reminds me of the NVM who installed his gaming set up in the baby’s nursery and would game while the baby was sleeping. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:39 AM
11

If you can’t block him there, just archive the emails unread. He doesn’t get access to your emotional life anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:35 AM
14

Here’s the thing. HVM who are responsible and thoughtful would take it (as well as some deeply cynical LVM). A LVM will lie about taking it and knock her up anyways because he doesn’t give a shit about the consequences for her. Male BC until it’s completely the norm will not actually insulate our wombs from the LVM we need to be screening out of our reproductive choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:30 AM
29

My boomer dad did all the laundry and dry cleaning runs. Millennial men are lacking in basic life skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:23 AM
12

In episode 2 of the podcast, the hosts explained how we’re focused on equity not equality. A crucial distinction because it’s harder to cheap out on equity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:20 AM
106

Exactly. Write those scathing roast texts in a journal or something. Wall of Text is for the LVM/NVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:08 AM
48

sad Pikachu face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:06 AM
39

Loses her shit and BLOCKS. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:05 AM
7

NVM will use literally any vulnerability against you, even if it’s from 5 minutes ago, or a hypothetical into your future. Yes, be careful about what you share. But realize that they’ll weaponize anything if they want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:03 AM
6

This is a prevalent viewpoint that we have to keep aggressively debunking IRL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:01 AM
13

Actually we care about women victimized by the sex trade MORE than they do. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:00 AM
17

No 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:57 AM
5

You could put it that way. Corresponding levels of attractiveness and intelligence. Compatible values and financial flexibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:53 AM
14

Ouais c’est toujours comme ça. Le vie en couple, c’est la priorité. Dommage car mes potes célibataires sont plus drôles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:38 AM
22

If they took it personally they’d be internalizing and introspecting and leveling up. They purport to be taking it seriously so they can act all grumpy and be be more hurtful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:32 AM
57

I don’t read other subs. Is this recent? It reads as fiction. What sister with a remotely adjusted relationship would feel better after violating her sis’ relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:26 AM
1

These seems very high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:16 AM
2

WHERE IS THE REST OF HER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:16 AM
4

Effectively, no. They’re in a form a glorified sexual servitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:15 AM
3

He has Doesntgiveashititis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:12 AM
2

He not healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:08 AM
6

The math does NOT add up to anything orbiting hygienic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:07 AM
7

Mortifying but hopefully her friend was supportive in that moment. I ADORE that she divorced him via text. You know she was outie and that was the last piss stained straw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:05 AM
4

She was a LOWERCASE DENTIST and he was an uppercase software architect. She’s an ACTUAL DOCTOR, he’s a divorced sandwich with a peepeejizzjizz collection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 12:53 AM
15

Pretty much anytime he doesn’t pay on a date, he’s not into it or he’s cheap/leeching.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 11:25 PM
2

Congrats 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 11:22 PM
6

Use a cart. And then stand in front of it so they can’t be next to you. Or if a scrote is breathing down your neck, just get out of line and choose another. IRL version of block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 11:20 PM
11

Okay if he doesn’t want to change then he should start dating at his level (if can even find a woman that depraved) and stop wasting time of morally and sexually intact women. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 11:16 PM
14

Men should be respectfully pursuing women at their level or very nearly adjacent. If he doesn’t know that and/or abide by it, he’s a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:24 PM
98

“something feels off” SIS, LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION. THIS IS WAY TF OFF!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:10 PM
22

🔥🔥🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:06 PM
289

I hope he finds spellcheck. 🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:38 AM
9

You had empathy for your mother and a healthy reservoir of shame. They don’t have that. You have humanity. They have... whatever the fuck fills up the spot where the soul’s supposed to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:15 AM
65

Liberal feminism = “left wing patriarchy” 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:12 AM
11

Congrats 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 11:10 PM
12

This is inspirational. I look up to you for this and I’m older! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 09:36 PM
34

I’ve come full circle on this. I used to hate this excuse because of the lack of respect for my agency. But now I’m wide awake to the threat of a bruised male ego. So yeah, sorry, I have a boyfriend. 💕🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 08:55 PM
5

“Normal” guys not being attracted to women their age after 35. Ma’am, that’s a perv. Not a normal man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 08:39 PM
3

Confidence is an attitude. Self-esteem is our inner view of our own worth. These are two distinct elements of our spirit and our experience. That’s why you can “act confident” and still feel low about yourself. In terms of healing self-esteem: blocking out negative energy, focusing on your relationship with yourself, developing your intuition, and being kind to yourself (whatever that means to you).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 08:31 PM
15

No 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:26 PM
31

Preach. I exclusively date men with masters or beyond from elite universities and literally all of them have been LVM. These intellectual/material qualifications (whatever yours may personally be) are the bare minimum to be considered by an FDS woman and are NOT a guarantee of a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:25 PM
18

It’s SO SAD because she cares about his feelings while he clearly does not reciprocate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:21 PM
11

OMFG WHAT A BABY. DUMP. HIMMMMUGHH. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:20 PM
33

I think liberal feminism is prevalent for two reasons: 1) brainwashing that we’re susceptible to due to internalized misogyny, and 2) it’s vastly more prevalent than radfem so women might land on libfem and just accepting it, not realizing there are other (better!) feminist ideologies to subscribe to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:18 PM
70

CAN’T WAIT 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:55 PM
10

It’s baffling. On one of the handful of virtual app dates I did last winter, I asked the man how he keeps in touch with his friends right now. His response was “I’m not worried about them going anywhere.” So he’d reach out to make sure they’re not dropping him, but isn’t interested in ongoing emotional engament with his friends? It was so weird. This was on Tinder. He had so many hints in his profile of HV potential, but revealed he’s emotionally broke within 30 minutes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:47 PM
3

I’m glad it clicked! I think the analogy works for the added reason of sometimes we use food and sex for the same reason - to dull or distract from our negative feelings. Today’s a good a day as any to choose ourselves! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:14 AM
3

There’s also lots of woman-owned sex shops to order from online. Line women’s pockets. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:10 AM
3

On the wanting to be touched and sex topic, it’s kind of like quitting junk food if you’ve ever tried that. You’re going through life eating all the junk food you want, maybe binging on it even, because it tastes good in the moment. But you’re always hungry? And lethargic and thirsty and now you have acid reflux. And then you quit junk food and start eating clean. At first it’s hard. You miss that FIX. But you choose yourself and all the amazing salads a girl can eat. And then one day you don’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:07 AM
7

Thank you for sharing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:55 AM
43

And don’t date men who have a battle station.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:43 AM
70

We will die EARLY if we marry NVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:41 AM
95

Ummm okay #9: creating drama in hopes you’ll let them off the hook. In an (age appropriate) relationship in my late 20’s my bf would do this. And it was so confusing because I had literally never interacted with anyone (family, friend, coworker) who would go to such passive-aggressive and emotionally lazy lengths. It only fully clicked reading this post. Here’s a fun example: we planned to meet for a swanky dinner and live music date night. He was late. But don’t worry! He texted me while I was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:38 AM
2

This resonated in many respects. But instead of feeling embarrassed for myself in these relationships, I’m embarrassed for how little they’ve grown. I think when there’s a solid friendship foundation it can be worth it to forgive and rebuild when friends hurt us. But it just gets to a certain point where it’s not salvageable for me because I’m emotionally shut down. I’ve found that my walling-off from male friends is more permanent, whereas I’ve been able to reconnect with female friends after e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 09:12 PM
5

Ewww chapped lips. So glad you’re getting away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:30 PM
3

Choosing yourself is a gift 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:26 PM
53

I realized I wasn’t missing out on that much. I’m in my 30s. I took a hard look at all of my friends who are in LTRs/married. I have several married off the app. Very few that I would consider HV. Among my friends who met their partner IRL, the ratio of HV husbands is significantly higher. I just got tired of giving a piece of me away for free to anyone with two thumbs - my exquisitely crafted profile, high quality photos. Meanwhile men are treating the apps like a free prostitute delivery servi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:20 PM
37

Don’t have baby with a man who can’t even take care of himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:16 PM
16

Maybe this doesn’t conform with FDS but generally I’m okay with encounters where a couple is enjoying a group activity together and both partners fully want it. Personally I just don’t understand why you would want your partner going off on his own to sleep with others. It grosses me out. It seems emotionally harmful. I can’t see a positive benefit of normalizing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:16 PM
12

Congrats 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:10 PM
65

The predatory “feminist” men tried to manipulate me saying I was not sex-positive or was sexually boring for not letting them in my body immediately. Actually, no. My sexuality and libido are very much intact and thriving. I just don’t want to give it away to YOU after minimal courtship. I’ve had several men drop me after I wouldn’t put out fast enough. At the time it hurt. Now I know they were doing me a favor. Pickme friends never overtly shamed me. It was more along the lines of “but I couldn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:07 PM
22

It’s also highly likely that if you send them a cordial or generous explanation that they will lash out and say hurtful things. When they asked for the truth and you gave a PG-version of your rationale. Don’t open yourself up to abuse, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:58 PM
17

She’s a literal hostage of the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:58 AM
3

Wow, I’m triggered. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:52 AM
8

Hangout = free sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:45 AM
5

He’s hiding wayyyyyyyy worse stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:36 AM
5

It’s so tiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:36 AM
61

Focus on yourself. De-center men from your life. Vet the hell out of any man who tries to come into your life for any reason - platonic or romantic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:37 PM
4

Go to couple’s therapy with a vetted FDS-aligned psychologist. And then ask her privately if your man is a narc/sociopath/psychopath. Talk about your sacred issues with a licensed professional. If he won’t go to premarital couple’s counseling he’s stunted and/or hiding something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:35 PM
28

I’d keep the cash and leave him on read/blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:32 PM
12

Maybe they can change if they do serious work on their issues and values. A HVW will never try to change a man. It’s not worth her Queen energy. Give yourself the peace of accepting people as they truly are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:31 PM
48

Bumble is where I found the LVM most convincingly masquerading as HVM. Mask always slips.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:30 PM
30

D I V O R C E
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:29 PM
6

This is an incredible shower thought. I hope it gets more traction. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:28 PM
8

Congrats 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:27 PM
22

I’m not interested in new male friends either. I’m friendly with men from work. I love spending time with my friends’ HV male partners in a group setting. But the idea of being vulnerable with a new man in a platonic context carries no interest for me right now. Maybe that will change. But right now I’m protecting my Goddess-given female energy. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:26 PM
16

Therapy, life coach, self-help books written by women. We have to process through the rage. Eventually you’ll reach a point of being able to control your thoughts, energy, mental state. It took me years and cutting off lots of toxic people and influences and I’m just now getting there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:24 PM
180

They try to stick their d straight in the open wound TBH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:22 PM
41

I will never pursue a man again. Huge waste of time and energy. That said, a truly HVM would be thrilled to receive interest in a woman he was after. But why spin our wheels, ladies, when we could be living our best lives, being open to a HVM if he pursues US! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:21 PM
61

They should be screening for attractiveness, same way we would in the real world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:17 PM
7

I agree. To me this is the kind of date that's fun later into dating or the relationship. Not as a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:48 AM
5

Sis, YIKES. So glad that's in your past. It's pure comedy now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:43 AM
6

They're at best clueless and unromantic. NEXT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:39 AM
12

"Could I back burner you until non-busy season, when I will hoe-tation you and allow you to perhaps watch me each steak sandwich on your own dime (bc eQuAlItY!) whilst I focus on a small- or medium-sized screen for part-to-most of our "date"?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:37 AM
16

Rape is not entertainment. Full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:31 AM
9

His last minute plea is so mindwarpingly pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:28 AM
14

It really is. Look at how society values partnered men, and how it discounts partnered women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:26 AM
6

Sorry I couldn’t read past “he tried to stab me” but stayed for the last paragraph when she left him and had full closure when she did so. It’s so fucked up that women (through brainwashing and abuse) let themselves get dragged to their wits end before she leaves. I’m incredibly rare that a woman breaks up with a man, ESPECIALLY with kids in the picture, when things are less than DIRE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:10 AM
33

Photo of his license plate. Report to local and corporate of the store. Police report. Hell, pay for a quick background check on him and get your affairs in order for a restraining order or cease and desist. We do not tolerate this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:06 AM
2

GIVE. IN. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:17 PM
1

All women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:16 PM
7

The d seems amazing when you’re utterly starved of affection. Ladies, we have to create feel good hormones for ourselves. She’s literally just drunk off the post-orgasm neurotransmitter release (plus Pickme-ism).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:16 PM
15

This post was the inspiration I needed to delete my (paused for several months) Tinder account. Another post a few days ago described it as a “free prostitute app” and that really made me think. It’s a terrible shame that men won’t respect us on these platforms. The few seemingly quality men I chatted with and had virtual dates with last winter from Tinder revealed a ton of red flags on the first (and last) call. I’m still (probably naively) holding out hope that The League will have some HV mat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:12 PM
53

LOUDER FOR THE PICKME’S IN THE BACK. 🗣🗣🗣 Anyways, any woman with half a skin care routine knows that it’s a TON of work to achieve “low maintenance” looking skin. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:59 PM
3

Congrats! This will be SO worth it. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:54 PM
9

I love this metaphor. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:36 PM
40

The Attached authors even say that attachment styles, while typically stable, are in fact plastic and can be molded by traumatic life events.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:35 PM
7

Today is a good a day as any to start choosing yourself. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:30 PM
12

Imagine the fallout when she has it appraised for insurance. Or if she gets married on fraudulent pretenses thinking he gave her a $$$ ring? Divorce and sue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:28 PM
14

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME. My childhood memories. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:24 PM
14

I love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:22 PM
93

Yeah. Someone gaslit her. Tragic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:16 PM
21

Absolutely. When I feel down about the L’s I took personally and professionally during covid, I remind myself of how I have completely transformed my inner experience since March 2020. And I’m only getting started, Queens. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:49 PM
50

Also the reason why I stopped talking to one of the only ex’s I thought I was friends with. We got into a discussion about the industry and he gaslit me about choice and empowerment. It was disappointing to see how he had not evolved at all despite being a dedicated advocate on other key social issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:41 AM
42

Meanwhile every single woman I’m close with has a story of abuse by a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:36 AM
74

He thinks it’s funny what disrespect she’ll tolerate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:33 AM
8

Give yourself more credit. This is huge! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:25 AM
2

Astounding that they tell you that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:20 AM
4

This is in English and yet it reads as if it were written by someone from another PLANET. 👽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:25 PM
6

At best he’s insecure and cynical. Pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:19 PM
13

The eating his leftovers part is vile. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:18 PM
9

I wouldn’t know, I refuse to listen to rap by men. Female rappers only. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:16 PM
31

We could go inside to the gas station and let them know a customer needs help? And even then it’s not safe. Example of falling victim while choosing the “safer” option: Once I was harassed/followed at my subway stop and was too scared to walk back to my apartment in the dark. So I caught a cab. The driver pretended to sympathize with me, but instead took me on a totally contrived route home to rack up a fatter meter. It just never ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:13 PM
62

Women just CANNOT have sex like men. We’ve been sold a lie. Period. Feminism isn’t just adopting men’s behaviors and instincts to succeed in their world. We need an entire new system that’s structured to benefit women in an equitable way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:20 PM
40

I second this. It’s better to let him reveal his genuine wants first. Sometimes L/NVM dangle the “I want kids” carrot because they think it makes us horny. When in reality they don’t know what they want and will have a tantrum about wanting the ~opposite~ of us later. Such as that post a couple days ago about the man who ruined his vibrant, child-free, high-earning wife’s life with twins. Vet. Another gem from this week’s podcast: “protect your womb like it’s the last thing you have.” Whether we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:19 PM
15

It boils down to the entitlement. You’re spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:10 PM
8

The FDS podcast got into this issue. It’s “like reverse pedophilia” - women just aren’t sexually interested in babies or people we have to care for like babies. It’s a turn-off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:07 PM
13

Nothing good happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 04:56 AM
19

What a joke. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 04:38 AM
158

Once NVM he informed me that if he doesn’t text a woman back “it’s over” and she’ll fade away. But if a woman doesn’t text him back, he’ll keep trying until she replies or otherwise caves. Zero respect for our boundaries. Also he told me this on a date. During which he sexually assaulted me. Again, zero respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:29 AM
22

I don’t read a single thing on the front page. I just come directly here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 01:56 AM
5

They need to be trimming/shaving their butts regularly. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:59 PM
9

Same. A boyfriend I had as a teenager made all kinds of uninformed comments about my perfect body that made me massively insecure. Now I love my happy trail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:58 PM
13

I disagree for two reasons: 1) the pedophilia, 2) how her success was overshadowed by the men who “helped” her despite her own genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:49 PM
2

Congrats. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:40 PM
3

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:38 PM
3

Couldn’t be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:37 PM
5

Everyone in his life will know that he left her and her child with nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:37 PM
20

100% of the alcoholic women I know have/had abusive husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:33 PM
63

Soooo sweet. No deadbedroom here, I guarantee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:31 PM
69

They’re just brainwashed into having low/no standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:29 PM
147

If he doesn’t text/call you the next day (maybe even next morning) after you’re intimate together for the first time? Ghost him. He knows how cruel that is and either doesn’t care or is doing it on purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:28 PM
14

Absolutely not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:26 PM
26

Sorry you had to spend one ounce of your Queen energy on them. I’m getting a strong pedo vibe from this based on how you describe your looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:25 PM
25

Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:22 PM
35

Preach. I realize there’s some hypocrisy here because I frequent (one) Reddit sub. But I’ll still draw a line in the sand to say I’m not interested in dating any “avid Redditor” men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:20 PM
1

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:10 AM
7

And I suspect a fair amount of women would join or return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:06 AM
11

Some of them do it to get off on their power over you. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:40 AM
102

I mean maybe. He might not rape me. But he can still wield some toxic misogyny at me. I’ll still vet to see if he’s friend material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:14 AM
8

Wtf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:01 AM
12

I cackled at this. 😂Silly scrotes, there’s so such thing as a free dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:55 AM
14

It’s not complicated. He has to make as much or more than me. If he doesn’t, he has to have generational wealth or net worth that makes it defensible. I’m not trying to have some man resent me for my success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:52 AM
27

He is working on his healing! He’s on the app to find a new therapist. 🤡 Congrats on getting out. It sounds like you’ve done a ton of introspection. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:32 AM
300

As if we don’t hear their stupid, sexist opinions all day in the public sphere. Stay out of our digital retreat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:45 AM
159

How do I keep men who think like this TF away from me. Revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:42 AM
3

This isn’t supposed to be a parody? 🤭🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:37 PM
119

There’s so much to unpack here. I want to follow up on one facet of this situation: the WYD followed by... no invite, him describing his “fun” plans that don’t include you. Taking an extremely generous look at this behavior, maybe it’s harmless? Maybe he’s genuinely curious even though he can’t make plans with you? Maybe... NOT. It’s low value to make last-minute plans. So right off the bat this a bad sign. And if his WYD leaves you feeling off kilter or lonely? That’s your intuition telling you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:16 PM
144

He already did something though. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:22 AM
37

What a moron. This reads like felony intimidation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:21 AM
16

My suggestions: wean yourself off of male validation. This is KEY to happiness and success in any and all regards of life. Also, therapy and generally working on your self-esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:59 AM
28

I would only go out at night alone if 100% necessary. I live in a city in a relatively safe area. Still, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:53 AM
38

These are fantastic. It’s like a sweet, quippy version of “Why Men Love Bitches.” 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:50 AM
11

Lots of them just refuse to do the light intellectual lifting of figuring out what HV means. They just assume it means rich and hot, and get all dour because they are decidedly neither. Being rich and conventionally hot are side effects that might come from being HV. But even if a man is objectively poor or plain, he could still be somebody’s HVM if he is generous and attractive to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:46 AM
13

Keep it up, sis! 💕The last time I was abruptly dumped by a man I was very hopeful about and starting to fall for, I chose to see it as a kindness. It hurt like fuck, but thank God I didn’t waste an ounce of energy more on him. To clarify, it was not actually a kindness. He was evil and uncaring. But I get to rewrite the storyline in the way that best suits my healing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:41 AM
90

TBH “moodiness” at any age or phase of the relationship is such a buzzkill. Why would I spend time with anyone who acted like it was an inconvenience to be in my presence? And by moody I mean being sullen/rude/withdrawn for no apparent reason. Bonus points if he shows up to the date in a foul energy meanwhile you’re cute and enthusiastic to see him. NEXT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:37 AM
27

This reads like an actual nightmare. The only redeeming parts are friends (such as you) and that her parents moved close by. I hope they intervene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:03 AM
23

Your advice was perfectly reasonable and good. We get to choose the meaning sex carries for us. Yes, even as high-libido women we can opt not to have sex. THIS is what it means to be sexually empowered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 10:26 PM
114

Their words don’t mean shit. One of the worst manipulators I ever gave time time of day would repeatedly tell me “I respect you” while gaslighting me and dragging me to my wits end in front of our mutual friends. If his words and the way he makes you actually feel don’t match up, TRUST YOUR INTUITION.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:31 AM
11

My intuition told me something was off even when he suggested it. It was 100% his idea. But I’d already felt him pulling away. In retrospect it was just some cheap, ineffective plot to keep me engaged while he executed his monkey branch to the next girl. PS, two weeks after he dumped me (having the audacity to TELL me it was for another woman) he slid right back into my inbox. 🤭Left him on read and still laugh about it every few weeks to this DAY, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:28 AM
171

“Just looking for someone to split rent” or worse “Just looking for someone to help pay my mortgage.” LOL absolutely fkn not. Never be your man’s (sub) tenant. How mind-blowingly disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:01 AM
118

Gamer = nonstarter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:56 AM
26

Telling me about how he was house hunting for a place near good schools on the first dates. Asking me on a weekend getaway days before (planned) breaking up with me. So many ways to future fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:55 AM
148

I volunteered at a homeless shelter in my college town. One of the young men who would stay there would also hang around in the downtown area trying to pick up girls. Tbh he was attractive and had nice clothing. But he was also living in the shelter so something was up. On one occasion his designer shoes went missing or were misplaced overnight and he went ballistic in the morning. He eventually found them but it was one of the scarier moments working there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:16 AM
12

One of the admin made a post a while back about less talked about dealbreakers, including how his home cleanliness standards can be a dealbreaker. Your house is spotless and his is a dump? Not gonna work. Meanwhile your ex is just sleeping above whatever the fuck is happening under his bed? No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:11 AM
36

No joke sis, and this was years ago: the last time I visited a nex he made HIMSELF dinner before driving me to the airport but didn’t offer me any. I watched him make dinner for “us” and then plate all of it for himself, and then eat it while I just... watched? We never spoke again after that night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:06 AM
45

Surprise x2 he actually didn’t 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:02 AM
7

Congrats on your newfound freedom from male validation! It sounds like you’re doing it right to work on your healing and self-worth. Just keep choosing yourself everyday. Keep interrogating your experiences and impressions of the world. Remember that YOU are the gatekeeper and get to decide whether to internalize some man’s opinion of you. Take none of that as truth. YOU define your own truth. Keep it up. You’ll look back at this in 6 months, a year and be so grateful. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:59 AM
17

I can’t answer your title question besides to say they don’t want to. Cue FDSism “if he wanted to, he would.” Men not knowing how to pull their weight at home or in a relationship just astounds me. My dad was the primary breadwinner, main cook, gardener, handyman, he did the laundry. He was constantly seeking out ways to make the house more comfortable for his family. Same with our neighbors, my parents’ friends, and my parents’ siblings. If the man wasn’t directly contributing to labor to his h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:55 AM
3

Sis congrats on ridding yourself of him. Turns out he had at least ONE redeeming contribution! FFS though, what did he think would come from your therapy journey!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:29 AM
5

Show that to the family court judge next time child support is up for consideration.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:27 AM
10

All women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:26 AM
10

They should try it for one month and see what happens. People have already been in lockdown for the better part of a year. Meanwhile women have been under a self-imposed curfew since forever to avoid one opportunity for being brutalized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:26 AM
9

Thank you ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:22 AM
6

Where’s the bedroom tour with the mattress on the ground (it’s bOhEmIaN) and some other woman’s long hairs strewn on the sheets?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:20 AM
8

I’m so creeped out over how clean shaven has become standard. It’s porn sickness taken mainstream. I’ve had female friends tell me they prefer it for themselves but I don’t buy it. I think it’s deeply internalized misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:18 AM
3

What a moron. She needs to dump him yesterday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:14 AM
16

It’s revolting. And way more prevalent than anyone wants to admit. It’s traumatizing AF. Love and healing to all you queens who are living with this. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:12 AM
21

“UP” - Cardi B, in reference to where we need this comment to be. At first I was sad for “her”, then I remembered this is fake AF and just some contrived scrote literotica.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:06 AM
3

Interesting twist on how PWB made the female protagonist the PA. Hints aside that Martin was, too. Kind of brings the problem into a more neutral ground for debate, since women’s behaviors are seemingly always up for critique/debate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:01 AM
102

Meanwhile she’s pumping her body with fertility hormones ans going through invasive exams and emotional conversations? This is straight up abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:21 PM
20

“Just” not set on getting married (anymore), having a family (anymore), or buying property together (anymore). Just because he doesn’t want to (and is maybe also broke by choice). Sis, I know you’re in love, but at WHAT COST for things you deeply crave?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:14 PM
64

It’s baffling that they could have SO much entitlement. But that’s what it is. Entitlement stoked by jealousy, rage, insecurity, misogyny. The ones who are merely harmlessly curious can continue to lurk without inserting themselves. Hopefully they use their findings to level up rather than dig their heels in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:49 PM
24

PWB is brilliant 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:24 AM
93

Fleabag gifted us with a joke about this. When Harry told Fleabag “You’re not like other girls. You can keep up.” tapping his noggin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:32 AM
2

Literally spoiling a baby with love and comfort is the bare minimum. She needs to get out before the abuse escalates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:21 AM
409

I also want to add that I am ROUTINELY shocked when my 30s female friends don’t realize their partner’s sperm is aging out at the same pace. The “biological clock” has been weaponized against women and totally ignored in the mainstream for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:18 AM
28

Whoa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:01 AM
6

I only see women for my health/professional services now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:05 AM
74

Mhm. Block and delete at the first sign of this attitude towards us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:02 AM
3

Funny because the man who wrote this has never been laid. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:56 PM
6

When he brags about his dad bod I can’t swipe left fast enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:53 PM
1

My ex helped me out by cleaning ans doing dishes for me the night before I left on an international trip. He also got a second girlfriend while I was away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:45 PM
6

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:34 PM
11

What? He went out of his way to ruin your sweater? 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:33 PM
1

No, she’ll see that as an adult you are incapable of a very simple task such as laundry. Moreover someone else’s laundry, which merits extra attention to do it correctly. And when you can’t do it right, she’ll dump you instead of risk being tied to a (likely stinky) moron.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:32 PM
20

Chronic UTIs with a partner is grounds for dismissal. It’s your body telling you you’re not compatible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:27 PM
32

I don’t even see this as a game. She’s offering him an opportunity to shine as a partner. She does “need” him in these small moments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:23 PM
3

It’s a no for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:14 AM
1

Don’t show your hand by asking this right away or bluntly - he could lie, and learn that he has to lie to you. Vet for signs of PA and misogyny. Check who he follows on IG (if he doesn’t have second accounts for this purpose). Let it come up organically amid act neutral while sussing out his views.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:13 AM
3

“Addicted to the dopamine” of a new connection. This is so important to realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:08 AM
11

First of all, love your handle. Second, this resonates. I’m an assertive, self-assured woman. I’ve been praised for my “independence” since I was a little girl (weird but true). I used to approach guys/men regularly. Looking back over my dating life, not one of the relationships I initiated benefitted me overall. They always took advantage in some way. That’s why I’ll never approach or chase a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:06 AM
14

Requiring death grip. Staying soft during foreplay. Doing weird, unsexy porn-inspired moves in bed, especially without asking first. If you ever find yourself asking yourself “why tf would he do that?” in bed, it’s because he learned it in porn and you need to dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:59 AM
33

“My luv language is dumping his ass :)”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:11 AM
2

Sadly the answer is often “no” even when she’s in the honeymoon phase. 😬We can stop asking when everyone’s raised their standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:10 AM
7

His advice is toxic af. Grooming pickmes, normalizing disgusting sexual entitlement and casual misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:10 PM
5

Couldn’t be you. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:57 AM
5

Or he could just be entertaining over text so it’s worth her while to continue to engage. Not a babysitter. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:13 AM
1

WTF. He’s either spending it on something uncouth or saving up for his next wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:59 PM
6

It means something different to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:51 PM
11

10 hour delay = disqualifying. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:50 PM
10

Love this enthusiasm. 🥲💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 12:26 AM
10

Huge respect for her commitment to her own passion. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:35 PM
31

Isn’t this a major premise of “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:22 AM
2

The comment is just words smushed together with punctuation. Plz disregard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:33 AM
30

Even the ones who were using me as a placeholder couldn’t remotely match or fulfill my sexual libido and creativity. There’s no point to f*king men who don’t 100% want us. If you read this and think: bUt I NeEd SeX! Lady. I see you. I get it. I been there. Try a few months of celibacy and orgasms well distant from LVM/NVM. The withdrawal from their abuse will start to wear off and you’ll realize: you. do. not. need. them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:32 AM
5

Could you provide some examples of “red pill books”? I’m not familiar. Thx! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:24 AM
14

Enjoy that feeling. 💕And you’re right, there’s no power in trying to play it their way. None.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 04:48 AM
18

Keep choosing you and focusing on your healing. You’ll get there. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:28 PM
1

Boobies? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 10:16 PM
3

The whole situation is such a disappointment. Can relate on having to distance from a male friend after he revealed problematic views on porn. It feels like a betrayal. Still sucks to lose a friend even if it’s for the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 04:51 AM
34

Calling it out. 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:02 AM
1

No thx.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:36 PM
5

On Snapchat no less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:34 PM
2

Using “simp” = relationship-ender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:31 PM
5

Congrats!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:27 PM
3

Every 🚩sentence🚩 is 🚩problematic🚩. Until the second to last when he describes himself in a way that wholly departs from the tone of his angry wall of text.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:25 PM
7

If I saw this during the vetting phase I would dump him. I won’t tolerate a messy kitchen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:22 PM
30

This makes my blood boil. Glad you dropped that extra 200 lbs of dead weight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:19 PM
47

I live in a city. I don’t go electively outside after dark and I avoid walking in unfrequented areas even during the day. Last summer a guy stalked me on a bike in broad daylight and I didn’t hear him until he was right next to me. I was so startled seeing him right beside me out of the corner of my eye that I instinctively SCREAMED (so loudly that my second instinct was embarrassment). He backed off, mumbling something about this being his house and went into the yard we were in front of. Five …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:16 PM
43

WTF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:59 PM
13

That’s pathological 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:09 PM
15

Okay I’ve been wondering this myself. I have multiple friends who met their partner/husband through OLD. For them and for friends who met their partner in other ways, their +1 is built into our friendship at this point. I’ve started vetting their mans in my own right. Do I want to be friends with him? Am I okay with whatever intimate thing I share with my lady friend to ending up in his knowledge? Does he treat her like she deserves? I don’t want to get stuck with some LVM in my friend circle ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:52 AM
17

YIKES so glad you’re free from that wolf in sheep’s clothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:42 AM
11

🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:20 PM
37

Honestly I think a woman’s libido tanking is one of the strongest indicators of a failing (and possibly abusive) relationship. She gotta dip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter