Ditched today by a Pickme friend

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-04-29T17:53:37+00:00

That sucks. I’ve had pick me friends do stuff like this. I am no longer their friends

But hey. Don’t let her shitty treatment of you get you down. Taking a leap of faith investment in a friendship is the first step toward a stronger friendship. Some friendships can’t grow. Some can. And that’s how you figure it out - because someone takes the first leap of faith.

Don’t be discouraged <3

Pickled_Tink_Tea · 2021-04-29T18:20:46+00:00

I'm willing to bet that her LVM did something to sabotage your outing.

I had one ex who used to hide my belongings (keys, phone etc) so that I was always late to meet my friends. If I went at all.

I was so embarrassed by it that I always would say something came up with my kid last minute.

EclecticBarbarella · 2021-04-29T18:06:35+00:00

Aww I’m sorry. I’ve had something similar happen with an ex friend (we went on a weekend trip, got a hotel room etc for her to spend the entire weekend on the phone with her loser-bf ignoring me) and it’s never pleasant. But it says more about her than it does about you. I would recommend really examining the “friendship” tho, sometimes we do ourselves a disservice allowing people to remain in our lives who don’t treat us with kindness and respect. You deserve better than this.

Aocwannabe · 2021-04-29T18:47:59+00:00

I’m so sorry. A similar thing happened to me last week. I now use FDS for friendship, too.

It is also especially annoying when we attempt to be considerate of other people’s time and their obligations but the thoughtfulness is not appreciated and we are expected to tolerate rude behavior under the guise of “giving the benefit of the doubt” or that their time is more valuable than ours.

You are justified in feeling angry and you may need a few days (or weeks or months) to mourn this friendship.
Just be super picky moving forward 😘 There might be some loneliness up ahead but being lonely by yourself is better than being lonely with people who make you feel bad.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-04-29T19:07:53+00:00

I bet her scrotey threw a fit because all her attention wouldn't be given to him and his kid.

princesspoppy77 · 2021-04-29T18:34:05+00:00

Throw the whole friend away

LadieLemon · 2021-04-29T18:10:09+00:00

How awful of her to do that to you! You took all of that effort to see her, and she completely disrespected you. Also, her blaming a child for her shit behavior is appaling.

Girl, you deserve friends who match the effort, respect, and love that you give others. You deserve better 💖

alleykit · 2021-04-29T18:05:27+00:00

Impeccable use of the LOTR quote 👌

Seems like your friend was lacking in basic decency, knowing a friend is driving over from another city and didn’t keep her phone on her? Sorry this happened to you. On one hand though, you know the kind of consideration you can expect from your friend in the future and plan accordingly.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-29T20:39:37+00:00

Just wanted to say first I'm super sorry for your experience. That's so shitty and disrespectful.

When I get back I had missed a call and some texts, she blamed everything in the step kid and said he had her phone and didn’t tell her I texted or called because he was playing games on it. Even though he was apparently doing online school today. And she knew I was about to arrive at the time I arrived.

Her excuse makes no sense. Even if the son didn't notify her, she knows when you are coming. Any respectful person would follow up to see where you were. The 45 minutes and the rain make this so much more disrespectful on her end.

ThrowawayCompassion · 2021-04-29T20:19:29+00:00

[deleted]

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-04-29T22:01:19+00:00

This sucks and I don't think I could continue that friendship! Even without her phone idk how she couldn't find a single way to gauge the time considering you'd discussed it. Probably had an argument or had to baby her scrote because he wasn't getting enough attention

It feels like HVW are as hard to come by as HVM. I'm frequently cutting off friends because I just can't sit with pickmeishas anymore. They always center themselves around a LVM, he does something awful and she comes back to her friends, and then leaves them again to center around another one. It feels like they can never take accountability and with a lot of them they'll try to erode your boundaries or push you toward awful relationships like they are in. Not worth it.

Candid_Check_4843 · 2021-04-29T18:16:50+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That whole experience sounds stressful and really discouraging. I hope that she's made plans to visit you, to make up for the bad experience; otherwise, you deserve better friends.

Maingurl · 2021-04-29T18:57:19+00:00

Wow, Op I'm sorry!

I believe that what she did to you was deliberate. In the future you will def make better friends💕!

FDSfollower1 · 2021-04-29T23:06:12+00:00

I had an adult woman "friend" pull something similar to this, but different. You made the right call.

chunkycasper · 2021-04-29T19:27:35+00:00

This is so shitty.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-04-29T19:32:08+00:00

https://memecrunch.com/meme/12AB7/grumpy-cat-good

She’s not worth your time.

eveloe · 2021-04-30T05:18:37+00:00

Okay OP, you obviously did the right thing in going back home when she didn’t respond.

I just want to know why you didn’t just knock? Unless you didn’t know where her house was, I wouldn’t drive 45 minutes to sit outside.

Maybe because I’m less afraid of conflict, but my first instinct after something like this would be that she had a medical emergency or something, but not that she didn’t want to see me. To my mind it’s unfathomable that a friend would blank me.

Edit: I just saw that you psyched yourself out from knocking because the building was weird.

judithyourholofernes · 2021-04-30T06:47:23+00:00

No doubt her taskmaster got pissed he would lose his free childcare and made her suffer for even thinking she could escape his clutches for a little while.

Sucks man, you don’t deserve that treatment. But it looks like she’s going to be enduring a lot of horrible shit with that type of useless clod.

FigureSorry · 2021-04-29T18:33:53+00:00

As a fellow INFJ, I would absolutely Door slam her.

_queeeen_ · 2021-04-29T18:53:50+00:00

It really sucks to feel second-best to a friend’s LVM. I recently lost a long friendship over this, because she was constantly deprioritizing me for her (abusive) man. I stopped relying on her for any friendship benefits. Eventually she got mean, and then vicious when I asserted a boundary one time. And I just had enough.

Maybe it can be rekindled in a new way after she ditches her LVM and heals from her pickmeism. Before that all happens, it’s just really hard to see a path forward on a reciprocal, healthy friendship.

djfrankenjuice · 2021-04-29T18:14:08+00:00

Ugh I know that exact feeling.

You are no where on her priority list.

howdoilogoutt · 2021-04-29T19:35:15+00:00

I don't think it is the son's fault, it seems pretty shitty of her to blame him. Sounds like it's her fault, she should be a better friend.

ShitFaced_Dumbledore · 2021-04-30T04:40:45+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that OP. 💖

You seem like a really kind and considerate person she definitely doesn’t deserve a friend like you.

A similar scenario happened to me where a friend whom I’ve known for 12+ years ditched me at a bar when we were both drinking for a loser LVM. I had to uber back home at 2 AM by myself. I cried over the situation for like an hour as well. I am no longer friends with that person!

FDS has really helped open my eyes to having to cut all Low Value people out of my life. They can put us in dangerous situations, and we deserve so much better!

pretendtobeworking · 2021-04-30T09:52:30+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this, it’s an awful day for sure - but if you call for aid FDS will answer!

Seriously I’ve had a friend like this, I’ve known her from childhood and whenever she has a bf she completely disappears. The bfs were LV as hell too, all of them. She would also bring him places as if he had to be included in every aspect of her life, for which I blame her mother from not protecting her from her NVM growing up and being the biggest pickme I’ve ever known.

Idc what the relationship is like, that’s not ok behaviour. I only see her at group events now, why bother investing time and emotional energy into someone who’s just waiting to ditch you? You’ll be better off without her, don’t put yourself out for her again.

Davina33 · 2021-04-30T16:50:09+00:00

I had a similar thing with an ex friend. I live an hour and a half away from her and I came up to see her. To be fair, it was mostly her scrote husband's fault because he disappeared and turned his phone off when he was supposed to be looking after their kids so she could come and see me. I forgave her but she read four of my Facebook messages and didn't reply. She carried on posting and acted like I didn't exist so I blocked her. At the end of the day we deserve respect. I had tiptoed around her scrote husband for years to keep her friendship but that was the last straw.

Feminineprincess · 2021-05-01T11:47:54+00:00

Omgggg I’m girl I’m an INFJ TOO! So I know your frustration. And your friend was totally wrong, she should’ve had her phone on her 24/7 knowing that you could’ve arrived at any moment, and if she wants to hang out she should come to you.

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