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Watzoo Archive

View 0 posts and 1,574 comments by Watzoo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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149

You didn’t eff up, sometimes some guys will slip through the vet. Giant hugs - go easy on yourself for awhile. Spend some time surfing the chump lady website and, when you’re ready, decide how you want to move forward. You’ve already blocked and deleted- you’re mighty and you’ve got this!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:23 AM
5

Such a great post! I’d pile on: If he’s not (yet) physically violent, the google search term that may fit is “coercive control.” If you have kids with him, definitely talk with a lawyer. Courts can see normal protective behaviors as disqualifications for custody if you’re a mom. If you’re not sure where to start, your local shelter should have a list of resources you can engage. This ranges from lawyers to housing to therapists to a lot of other things. If you’re not sure where to find a shelter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:13 PM
11

I love the idea of engaging and building a strong discussion with women who - at first glance - might not seem like FDS allies. Gotta add a quote here! “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” - Abraham Lincoln
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 07:06 PM
21

I’ll add Flexjobs.com for a job listing site. Also the best book I’ve found for getting into the right headspace for a job interview: Best Answers to the 201 Most Frequently Asked Interview Questions, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0071741453/ Excellent post, OP!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 06:15 PM
1

I always thought of it as LVM don’t add value. They play video games. They get fired a lot. They slip in a gas station carnation when you get mad. They’re the star of Tiny Meat Gang’s “Deadbeat.” They contribute little to nothing to the relationship. LVM tend to date LVW or women whose self esteem or security has taken a recent hit. LVM can change and improve (probably won’t, but it’s possible). NVM leave you much worse than they found you. They actively choose ways to dissemble your life and id…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:23 PM
4

He really does, now that you mention it. Thanks for validating! (Of course, I don’t know them, so I could be 100% wrong. Just my growing suspicion over the years.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 01:04 PM
18

That’s less the red flag than his complete absence from her family (which is couched under “privacy”), completely. He’s not taking her photos with the kids or her modeling for her IG (but she’s still posting her photos regularly so she’s not that eager to disappear from the public eye), she’s having to do news stories to explain why she’s never on red carpets with her husband. Idk - there’s a flavor to it that’s just off. He’s always had strong psychopath vibes for me so maybe that’s my bias. Yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 02:07 AM
69

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are another couple that raise alerts for me. Her career also vanished as soon as her husband came along. He also rushed into babytrapping her at home then leaving her with the childcare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 10:36 PM
3

Always. And the women’s accomplishments are only denied for as long as it takes for a man to get in there and slap his name on them. Then it’s “All Hail the Mighty and Dedicated Steve!” Am I bitter? Yes, a little bit. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 02:41 PM
11

I suspect a lot more of them do than like to talk about it, tbh. Most men don’t want to appear “like the woman” because they don’t want to be treated the way they know women are treated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:30 PM
13

Girl, if I knew, (a) I’d be a lot richer, and (b) I wouldn’t post it here! Too many creepy lurkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:14 AM
37

Tbh, it’s underhanded, but the best thing women can learn is how to pit two guys against each other and keep their own name out of it. I had one mentor in tech who excelled at this. She’s a c-level executive at a 50B international company now. Has a family and everything. It’s the only thing I’ve seen work consistently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:19 AM
56

Men often use “respect” as a synonym for “servitude” or “deference” when they want it from women, and for “civility” or “law-abiding” when offering it to women. Not for actual respect. It’s like the Marilyn Frye quote: To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, ador…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:48 AM
32

If she’s only seeing him on cam, at least she doesn’t have to actually touch him. Not the worst choice. 🤣😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:42 PM
19

No, in the US, he would have accused the mother of alienation, taken custody. And mom would be ordered to pay him child support. GALs here are not often versed in abuse dynamics and have a wide-spread reputation for being unreliable and easily charmed by abusers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:04 PM
22

Divorce is expensive. This is a man who is poor at money management.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:22 PM
156

I would add tho that being a HVW does not guarantee you a man- any man. In fact, you’ll find it repels LVM, attracts some of the more dangerous NVM, and can attract HVM if you know where to go to find them in your region and spaces of interest/hobbies. But you may not find one. That’s a very real possibility for HVW. There are more LVM, so your dating pool is larger when you get along with them. There are fewer HVM and depending on your age range, many of them won’t be available (and HVM don’t c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:09 PM
68

My personal advice would be to not date men in LEO or the marines. Idk why, but toxic and psychopathic types seem to find these fields wildly appealing. Best not to risk it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:55 PM
2

Oh definitely. Here’s their theme song: https://open.spotify.com/track/4fIWvT19w9PR0VVBuPYpWA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 06:29 PM
20

He’s a little confused, isn’t he? Jerking off is normal human behavior for both genders. Porn is not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:54 PM
2

It’s short for step daughter…. And hey, you’re on top of this and the career thing takes awhile to launch (no one tells you this in high school, but I tried four different careers and didn’t find the one I loved until my early 30s). You made a smart financial choice with the car. You have a great resource in your parents. You have a great track record for smart choices based on what you’ve posted, and the career thing will happen if you stay out there and keep your eyes open. It can be tougher t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:05 PM
3

What garbage social skills!!! I guess you know why he is single now. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 11:51 AM
3

That level of adaptability is a skill set in itself. My SD deals with it and is an absolute wizard at blending in and making things work. So much respect to you for pushing forward despite it all and excelling regardless!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:56 AM
31

Same here. I grew up in a mixed religion household, so got it from two Abrahamic traditions. I still have the urge to wear an off the shoulder tank top in rebellion every time I pass a mosque or church. This article is one of my all time favorites because she captures the insanity of it all so well: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2011/11/how-modesty-made-me-fat/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:13 AM
19

Well, every man thinks his sexual preferences are every man’s sexual preferences. That’s where the confidence of tone originates for a pedo. The rest is this bizarre idea that masculinity is external, that’s it’s created by your environment and what your environment holds. And the fragile fragile self-image that creates leads them to seek the least powerful, least challenging option for their own fragile delicate sexuality. I haven’t seen any stats for this one, but the fashion industry is a hug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:07 AM
18

A lot of districts or states lump all kids with accommodation needs into one class, which means kids with mild dyslexia (who would do fine in regular class with a voice recorder for notes, an audible tape of their textbook, and a laptop/audible exam format) are in class with oppositional defiant disorder kids who pose a physical risk. Which is a recipe for educational disaster and massive emotional abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:56 AM
11

They are underfunded. In wealthier areas of my city, parents raise the funds themselves to bring in more teachers - so it’s a public school, but five or six staff have salaries covered by PTA and “annual recreation fee” funds that parents pay in every year. They’re battling with the district that is trying to outlaw the practice (which is nonsense).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:54 AM
38

This is mind boggling- mostly that it took that long for a mother to find out and run the skeezeballs out. How can us moms convince our teenage daughters to come us earlier with this kind of thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:45 AM
4

If she was paying for mom’s lawyer, that’s even more incentive for dad to control her money - he ensures mom has none after years of raising kids, and punished Britney for choosing her mom’s side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:19 AM
4

Yes. Dr Jessica Taylor has some amazing research on this topic coming out in her new book “Sexy but Psycho.” I can’t wait. https://mobile.twitter.com/DrJessTaylor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:15 AM
6

Ok, petition to send this woman a Clementine Ford “Divorce Your Husband” hat. Whose in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:43 PM
16

Men face issues from other men. What do they expect you to do about that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:39 PM
63

They know that too. That much power is part of the thrill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:36 PM
107

He’s not wrong. Of course they know. They just don’t think they’re raping human beings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:21 PM
5

I assumed this was understood. Of course women‘s safety matters more than “schooling” anyone. It’s okay for people to vent here, surely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:18 PM
19

I’m confident that she would be flattered within an inch of her life! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:09 PM
22

Her mom may not have had much choice. It’s common for women divorcing malignant narcissists to lose custody for alienation, when they are simply trying to protect their kids. It’s quite possible that her mother’s options were 50/50 (with no say over Britney’s finances or career, which dad would have wanted 100% decision making power over), or less. I don’t remember how old Britney was when her parents divorced. Either way, it’s hard to know what went down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:02 PM
42

Of course he won’t pay. He won’t hustle you for more dates afterwards either. And you’ve created a record of the day and time for when he eventually tries to steal your identity. Telling the waitress is ideal, but it sounds like OP didn’t hit that moment, so we are on to the clean up options for the resulting mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:40 PM
22

Wow. That sounds like something that one would say and then realize too late how horrible a question it is. “Well, my engagement fell through, and that was when I was 14, and then I was stood up at the altar at 16, so …. 5 years? You look shocked, I know, I know, I’m a skin care freak. Everyone says I don’t look a day over 17. So I can see why you’re worried that I’m single! You were married at … 17, right ?” Bonus points if you’re like, 40, and can keep a straight face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:39 PM
65

We reenact our childhood trauma in adulthood until we’ve worked through it. People marry partners who are the emotional image of their most toxic parent until they’ve reparented themselves. I’ve worked alongside so many social workers who keep reenacting their own childhood trauma but using other people’s families as stand ins. (One here had a reputation for pushing children to testify against a parent - almost always the mom - in custody trials, despite recommendations from more qualified profe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:35 PM
37

It doesn’t sound like anyone can get to Britney without her dad’s consent. The fact that her boyfriend can still see her, but is bashing her dad everywhere makes me suspect a plant. I hope he’s a great guy and it’s real tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:28 PM
135

You can always spot the psychopath by looking for the nest of erratic, damaged, isolated, self-harming people clustered around them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:23 PM
113

I will posit that Britney was always going to have some of this, regardless of her husband of choice, because her dad is a sociopathic type NVM. My personal belief is that a NV parent can be a billion times more devastating than a poor choice of partner, and it is entirely beyond our control. NVM seem to have always had a strong commitment to barring their daughters from generational levels of wealth. I think it’s because money is power and directly possessing enough money is the only thing that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:11 PM
77

I love it. If you’ll never see the person again, it can be a fun question: Burst into tears. Explain that they reminded you of the robins living in the tree outside your home and how one is single now after the cat got the other one. Start talking about the cat. Keep talking about the cat. Say “toe beans” a lot. “Once I get this round of clap cleared up, I’m cleared for husband hunting. Big game time. Seriously, do you know anyone? What about your guy - are y’all doing ok?” “I can’t bear childre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 01:05 PM
18

It’s pretty standard in the SE and Midwest states.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:58 PM
115

I have an elderly family member who is amazing at this. “What a fascinating question! You remind me of Reece- she always has the best conversation starters! Have you two met?” “That’s such a good question. You always have the most thoughtful insights about these things! (Subject change)” “You know, I hadn’t thought of that!” “Oh! That reminds me, when I was shopping yesterday….” (And the classic misheard ya) “Oh sweetie, I’m not singing! No one here wants to hear this old crow cackle. Do you sin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:56 PM
130

Guys ask this? 😬 I mean, he is single too, right? Why is he single?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:53 PM
53

This is my favorite answer to see from people. It rejects the unnecessary pity, and doesn’t bring down the social vibe or require any emotional or mental labor from someone who may just be making small talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:52 PM
133

“Wow. Ok, are you going to Venmo me the rest of the cost of yours? Here, I’ll send the request for $30. God, this feels like dealing with one of my horrible cousins - hilarious kids, but they can be such mooches. There! You should have the request in your inbox! Take care, hun.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:51 PM
261

Oh man, and you know? They’re all going to look back on this for the rest of their lives as one of the best memories ever. Don’t let men triangulate you with other women. Men are the only ones who benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:48 PM
29

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:46 PM
174

This always puzzled me too. And isn’t dad admitting that he failed so badly as a father than he can’t trust the child he shaped and raised to choose as well as possible and set healthy boundaries (or use the mace he handed her before the guy arrived)? Why the performative masculinity when he could have just shown up over the past 18 years and done his job as a parent?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:46 PM
18

The girl he’s envisioning never ages or gets sick. If I found the refrigerator of my dreams, I’d hang up my savings goals and move it into my home. But the only choice for a homeowner that doesn’t want a fridge to break down on them eventually is to stick to takeout. Don’t blame me, blame the fridge. I need something that serves me by offering real value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:35 AM
24

Ugh. Bro. A smelly, soaked stranger my dad’s age getting onto the elliptical next to mine when there are literally forty empty ellipticals across three rows, and then breathing heavily as he tries to match my stride. You bet your sweet bippy I’m moving, weirdo. Stop being gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 02:31 AM
2

Sure thing. I’ve been debating posting anything because I’m 100% aligned with the spirit of your post and love the unapologetic boundaries! Thanks for all that you do to help women and children live better lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:57 PM
1

I think it’s something like 80% of kids from blended families say they don’t like or have a relationship with their stepmother. And stepmoms suing the kids for their deceased husband’s estate is an estate planning trope. It’s really a lose-lose situation unless you absolutely luck out with a one in a billion situation (not just the guy; but the kids and his ex and the entire financial environment around all of it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:54 PM
1

It doesn’t sound selfish at all. I didn’t date single dads before I had kids. It makes a ton of sense - good choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:49 PM
2

It depends on the state. In a lot of states, there’s still a primary parent, who determines the child’s school zone with their residence (and all the restrictions on it) and the parent who is free to live Willy nilly where they’d like, but has to pay child support for their part of the expenses that the primary is immediately responsible for. The CS payments may be lower if 50/50 or they may not. What I see more often is dad giving mom primary and washing his hands of the mess, finding some clue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:47 PM
1

This is so true. Healthy kids come from an emotionally safe, empathetic environment where strong boundaries are a normal part of life. It does say volumes about what he and his ex are capable of - even with a divorce in the works - as well as the quality of woman he is attracted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:43 PM
3

I’m going to disagree with 1. And in that vein, I disagree with potentially dateable #3. All show a lack of awareness of how divorce and custody work through the court system. Many states default to 50/50. In some states it required to start here and in others it’s not, but most family lawyers and judges expect couples who are divorcing to either have 50/50 or show strong evidence for its not being applied. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_shared_parenting_legislation. (Unfortunately this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:32 PM
21

Oh god. I heard this so often. Why would you try to get someone to lose your respect? Why would you sleep with someone you don’t respect? Why would you intentionally lower the value of someone who likes and wants to benefit you? This type of man is too broken to fix, let alone date. Dump him with the quickness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:53 PM
17

I think it would be great to have Gail and other experienced (read: raised their own sons to adulthood) moms join a podcast on this. Especially those who deal with counter-parenting by the dad or stepparents in blended family situations. If it were easy, everyone would do it. After all, we all know exactly how we are going to parent until we actually have a child of our own. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 11:26 PM
9

I love your comments and think they’re a lot clearer, myself! Thanks for the input on the topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:35 PM
11

Excellent comment. I agree with everything you’ve said!🥇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:48 PM
15

I’m one of those women. We don’t live in an equal world and that’s a daily reminder of it. Much like other second class groups throughout history, we make choices that allow us to survive and thrive in the world we occupy …. But we remember that we deserve better, and we are not our restrictions. I didn’t even read the title- I popped it on for a quick listen. The content alone surprised me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:38 PM
20

I also listened without reading the title, as I do every week and …. Stopped to check that it was FDS when they began including radfem with libfem. I agree that this podcast felt a bit off brand compared to what I usually hear from FDS. I get the urge to “call out” other women (who are safer targets and won’t create the backlash that scrotes do), but it’s usually a diversion that won’t change the world or a woman‘s place in it. For our options to improve, men must be the change. And our and othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:35 PM
41

I agree. The push back on makeup and beauty standards that I’ve seen are simply that it isn’t empowering. Not that it’s verboten or evil. And it isn’t - a man doesn’t have to paint his face to be taken seriously, so it makes sense that I - as I paint my face every day anyway - question why it’s necessary for me and my bank account to go this route for mere admittance (I’m still not taken as seriously as a bare-faced man). We swim in toxic water so we all do things that aren’t fully “liberated” -…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:28 PM
75

This whole thing is so wildly cringe that I’d like to shoot holes in it, but you’ve basically just described all social dynamics in my late teens/early-mid 20s social circle. Well-done (and so depressing).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 04:12 PM
2

Honestly, if they’re trying to “help” unasked, assume that you have an amazing idea. And their “help” sessions are to gather data to pass off as their own, and also silence you with doubts long enough for them to swoop in and claim ownership of your work. I’ve had a few male coworkers help me out out of the kindness of their hearts over the decades, and never phone in a disproportionate favor for it. It was consistent with their conduct with everyone, their approach to life…. And I can also coun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:51 PM
12

That has to have left a lot of emotional damage, being abandoned by his male role model
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 12:26 PM
44

Yeah, I’m not sure why dads get off Scott free. Moms are working against an entire patriarchy that’s attacking her and trying to hijack her son. Some moms are odd ducks, but most want their kids to do well and be successful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 04:00 AM
2

It’s heartbreaking how many people in social work and helping professions seem to be there to reenact their own childhood trauma using other people and those people’s families. I see it often. Thank you for sharing this - there’s a lot of good food for thought here and I’ll be digesting it for quite awhile. I’ve seen a lot of the patterns you mention in others as well but never made the connections you’re highlighting so clearly … thanks for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:57 AM
42

How did his dad play into his upbringing and ideas of what manhood looks like?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:16 AM
9

That’s an interesting perspective!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:24 PM
29

Eh, have them sit through Fleabag with you. If that doesn’t flush them out, nothing will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 09:33 PM
2

Aren’t they exhausting? I don’t even know what the solution is…. Just that they’re always offering to “help” you with “your problem” that only they have decided you have. And it’s always to get in your head and undercut you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 08:10 PM
8

Seriously. Not to mention the epic increase in autism and schizophrenia risk for sperm over age 50.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:32 PM
0

This is a lot of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:21 PM
0

These are the worst. I dated quite a few shorter men too. If you’ve been honest and she’s still there, boys, she doesn’t care about your height. Let it go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:21 PM
0

Exactly. This is a subset of short men who, if they magically woke up a foot taller tomorrow morning, would again seek to blameshift their failures and inadequacies onto someone or something else. Short guys who take ownership of their lives are usually just fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:18 PM
1

This is definite Queen energy. I love it! Proud of ya, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:15 PM
8

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:06 PM
1

Blended families are so easily toxic. That’s horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:55 PM
5

It’s not vetting too hard. You’re refusing to let them triangulate you with other women. This is a great angle to take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:54 PM
4

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:51 PM
1

Hey, Bill Gates is free - and he can’t hang with Epstein any more either! (/s)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:51 PM
2

This is so so true. Wow. About men being sucked in by the idolization phase of splitting behaviors because they see women as less than /capable of this. I’m going to sit with this for a bit. This angle hadn’t occurred to me before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:49 PM
2

I think you can make a solid case for skipping pregnancy any day, lol. It’s pretty rough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:48 PM
1

Be ready for him to come flaming in for sole or primary custody as soon as they move in together. That’s usually what I see happen. Start saving money and lawyer recommendations now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:47 PM
2

A lot of these seem to grow out of affairs. I tend to think that any relationship that starts with an affair is probably not redeemable. Biomom watched you conspire to destroy her kids security and identity and confidence by blowing up their home base - she’s never going to stop hoping you drive off a cliff. The kids will eventually put two and two together and feel the need to allocate blame. Dad is clearly someone who lies and mistreats his own family members, so he’s not going to help you. Ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:42 PM
3

Stepmoms are in a lose-lose place. You really can’t expect to set boundaries and rules for other people’s kids. It doesn’t work if the parents don’t buy in (or if dad only buys in to keep the peace). Otoh, she’s trying to manage someone else’s kids in her house, which is challenging. Add in kids of her own, where she does have authority, and a double standard is inevitable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:40 PM
2

Those with sole custody are statistically more likely to be very abusive. So I’d be cautious of that as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:37 PM
7

Wait … what?! How does a 65 year old end up with a 9 year old?! My god, man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:35 PM
3

Ugh. That’s just not a good situation for you. Also some possible reasons for why he’s single in the first place. I’m glad you’ve moved on. I wouldn’t date single dads when I didn’t have kids, and I think it’s a perfectly logical choice for childfree women to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:33 PM
6

This is very very common. Valid fear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:26 PM
3

If they dated single moms and didn’t want them to parent or raise their own kids (single parents don’t have the time), they’d have plenty of dates. These are entitled, porn sick men generally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:25 PM
7

Which is weird. Plenty of men don’t date single moms and were pretty up front about it. It didn’t bother me when I was single- helps weed out people who aren’t well-suited to you and your lifestyle, which is great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:23 PM
2

I’m applauding your post. I love it! I think once you’re married it’s a bit different- you love your SKs and do provide support and care the way an aunt or a extended family might. But it’s very good to set clear expectations on anyone shoveling the parenting side of things into your lap from day one. That’s their job. If they can’t do it, the other bio parent needs to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:21 PM
9

Out of the hundreds of single moms I’ve known through work and personal life, this is easily 98% of them. Women file for 80-90% of divorces and they know he will date again immediately or is already seeing someone when they file. They didn’t file because they wanted him back - and it took me awhile to adjust to the stepparent groups when I remarried, because everyone had a jealous biomom who wanted their husband to come back to her. 🤣 and I get the temptation to interpret your partner’s ex’s act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:17 PM
17

I will not be his sister or mother. I presume he neither sleeps with them nor feels them up? There’s no overlap between their roles in his life and my role in his life. This lady needs healthier boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:10 PM
12

This is such good advice. I wish I saw it emphasized more here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:07 PM
92

She needs to join some of the solo travel women’s groups online and find her travel crew!! Every traveling girl needs one! This guy has some red flags. I hope she gives the idea of having kids with him some serious scrutiny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:06 PM
2

I see the change too. I hope you’re 100% right. I’ve seen us slide backwards before tho and there are still a lot of opportunities for that to happen again, so I’m more cautious about assuming the larger infrastructure will protect us or offer us what we work for. I do hope your predictions come true, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:04 PM
1

Eh, she’s not a paragon of feminism, but she does know that. It’s usually safe to assume that women generally (a) love their kids and would saw off their own arm to give their kid a hand up, and (b) are smart - when they aren’t doing what you or I think we would do in their shoes, it’s usually an angle that I’ve overlooked or something I haven’t experienced. It’s a tough mindset to switch to after a lifetime of seeing women as “less than” (thanks, patriarchy!) but I’ve found it very applicable i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:27 PM
1

Although Christine Blasey Ford did do exactly that- she’s needed round the clock security for her family since. The man she accused is now deciding what laws govern all of us women in the US. Cosby is on the loose and litigious. Who knows what is coming for the brave women who stood up to him in court? Things are changing, but we aren’t close to being free enough to be sure of justice quite yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:20 PM
1

She’s not going to make the place better by quitting or staying. He’s been doing this for years and in a small town, most of his other employees have even fewer options than she does, so they aren’t going anywhere. I hear moms fear that her daughter will quit and mom won’t be able to afford school, so daughter will drop out “until we have the money …. Just a semester or two” and then work full time, meet a guy, have a kid and then …. This is her daughter’s life. Forever. It’s not an uncommon out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:56 PM
10

Idk. I get a couple things from this. Money is important. Having the option to quit something for moral and ethical reasons and still have a roof over your head is an incredible privilege that our foremothers lacked. Sometimes you can’t quit. Sometimes you have to manage these guys to the best of your ability. You absolutely shouldn’t have to, but patriarchy exists so sometimes that’s how the cards fall. This is a great opportunity to help her daughter develop a broader sense of what women face …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:05 PM
9

Highly likely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:19 PM
21

I was married, pregnant, then caring for a newborn, then slogging through a divorce with a violent guy around that time frame. That’s probably a good part of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:17 PM
5

It’s a little exhausting. Gen Xer too and yes. 🤣👍🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:01 PM
30

It’s an epidemic. It’s even glorified in children’s movies like “Peter Rabbit.” A HVM will stay the F away from your income channels, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:00 PM
99

It’s true and it’s thanks to the internet. When I was her age, reporting through proper channels got you fired (maybe blackballed) and that was it. We didn’t have quite the avenues online to share or connect, so you buckled down, drank it away, and furiously hunted for another job while dodging your harasser at the current one. Wash and repeat until you hit late 20s and it died down a bit. I love that Gen Z has the avenues to set these pigs on fire in the middle of main street.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:57 PM
3

Lundy Bancroft references it in his book, “When Dad Hurts Mom.” Evan Stark analyzes it in his book, “Coercive Control.” It’s mentioned by so many DV survivors as well - if you look through their accounts online at sites for support, you’ll see it mentioned over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:38 PM
13

I was raised by a dad who is still this kind of guy. I guessed wrong the first time, but my husband now is like this too. They’re out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:36 AM
5

Yeah, they’re usually NVM. LVM are just lazy. NVM are more psychopathic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:34 AM
17

Oh yes, always. 99 times out of 100, even. I’ve been quick to support women who don’t pursue child support since I’ve seen so many men do this (and win) and mom ends up paying both the legal bills and then child support to him for years. Her net worth would be higher if she’d foregone the support initially and the two court battles, and he’d simply moved on and lost interest in his kids altogether.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:05 AM
31

They do put on quite a performance for the poor newbies, don’t they? It would be hilarious if it weren’t so exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:02 AM
2

I’m here to validate this struggle. You’re doing the right thing. ❤️ health always takes priority. I hope you feel better soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:01 AM
56

There’s a Facebook group called “Do it yourself family law” - Beth, who runs it, is a family lawyer, reasonably priced, and a great resource for women leaving abusers. I’d ask her for advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:59 AM
1

I did see that and fwiw it did seem really brave of her to just do the 180 and still hold forth with advice - a lot of people would shrink from the inevitable criticism - and I think it produces some powerful, mind-blowing stuff that doesn’t actually read at all like her earlier books. It’s pithy and furious and blunt. And it’s just well-written from a story framing perspective. My book club is obsessed with her, so we read all of her stuff and the self-indulgence and self-righteous condescensio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:40 AM
1

I’m not sure. The book style just changes dramatically about halfway. Have you read it all the way? How did you think it compared to her past books?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:28 PM
35

I think you can screen the meetups by looking at the size of the groups that attend. If it’s a group that’s been around forever and has thousands of members and none of the events planned has more than 3-5 people going …. Something is wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 07:12 PM
15

I’m surprised this has to be said, tbh. Of course single women with no children would have valid reasons for not dating a single parent! The same reasons men without kids might not want to date a single mom! I’ve been all the things (well, not a dad) and totally understand. It gets a lot iffier when you are a single parent who doesn’t want to date single parents. That’s kind of … selfish? But again, you do you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 07:10 PM
8

I agree. I keep circling back to the Dustin Hoffman video where he was done up as a woman for one of his movies. He didn’t feel he was pretty enough, so he told them to “do more” with the makeup and hair to raise his looks to his standards and was told nope, this is how you look with makeup. And Hoffman is in tears because -his words- he would never approach a woman with his womanly looks, but he’s also so full of knowledge and humor and experience and he would miss out on that in himself becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 05:31 PM
8

Her chapter on the couples counseling and her response to her husband and the counselor then asking if she’d tried a different sex act…. It was one of the most powerful pieces of writing I’ve ever seen. And in like 2-3 pages. Her editor for the first half of the book was amazing and some truly great writing came out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 05:24 PM
9

It’s Glennon Doyle of Momestary (spelling?). It’s a great theory, but like so many of her theories sounds nicer than it is in practice (and she’s your first dose of why). I will say that this book swings from being beyond amazing (the opening about the wild cat had me in tears) to really really exhaustingly self-indulgent. I’ve read her wife’s book (great read - pithy and efficient) and saw a LOT of that writing style in the first half of this one. Then I guess even Abby clocked out after the fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 05:21 PM
57

Living with a man is highly overrated, IMO. If he’s a HVM who does a solid chunk of the household maintenance, it’s okay. If he’s one iota less than that, it becomes a sort of domestic servitude that eats at your actual physical health. I speak from experience in both types of marriages. My friend married a guy and they continue to live in their separate homes a few blocks apart five years later. He’s come around to it, and she’s blissful in her lovely home and none of the cleaning for his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:30 PM
20

I agree. There’s a lot of work out there on the fake hyperreality created by media and social media - a world that isn’t real but that our brains think is real. Like porn, our online “relationships” satisfy our subconscious that we aren’t alone when we are, that we belong to community that doesn’t really exist. And so we invest in these people and spaces that aren’t entirely real and don’t give back to us the way a normal relationship would respond to our investment. Interesting read: https://me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:26 PM
21

Sounds like it’s time for another Whole Foods trip… 😉👍🏻😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:21 AM
24

I hear you! If I could figure out how to find the female body remotely appealing, I’d be all over it! Regardless, it’s always flattering. Particularly since most women are a lot more selective than most men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:18 AM
64

Also is it not disturbing that so many men who get an erection from beating women … are also out walking the street and sitting across the conference table from us at work? They really shouldn’t be allowed to interact with women … they clearly pose a threat to our physical safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:14 AM
83

It kind of makes sense in a way. I remember the first time a woman hit on me. Unfortunately I’m not bi, but it was the first time I’ve felt desired without also feeling a little afraid. It was a really pure, glorious experience to be wanted without also being unsure of whether this random person’s seeing you will end with you experiencing physical or social pain. I could be honest about my response without trying to hedge it out of fear she would follow me to my car and r@p€ or mrd€r me, or that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:09 AM
11

This is true. They’re far more plentiful when you’re younger because they’re staying married. I know several of these and hopefully raised a couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:25 PM
31

It’s a truffle hunt. Don’t assume you’ll stumble across him. I think it helps to have a clear idea of who you’re looking for, and then as mentioned above, target male-rich environments for hobbies /clubs/efforts that you either love or won’t mind doing forever. Expand your circle of married women and older women too. We LOVE to match make and know all our friends sons, our sons friends, every kid in our church and neighborhood, and hopefully have enough experience to get you in the room with a p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:24 PM
72

There was a thread about male rape in one sub and it was basically men pointing out that the woman was fat so obvi it was happening against their wishes. Bizarre. Mind blowing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:20 PM
330

Wow. This is deeply disturbing. There was an amazing article that I wish I’d saved. It was around the response to the first 50 Shades book. It basically said we can’t know what female sexuality naturally responds to, because there isn’t anywhere on the planet where it’s existed absent from male oppression and/or violence. So when we look at child abuse stats, rape stats, DV stats, a majority of women have had sexual experiences linked with violence/nonconsent/pain/fear and often during puberty, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:18 PM
171

He already wasn’t into her if he’s doing this. Men don’t sacrifice potential p¥~~¥ for each other. 🤣 let alone pay for her dinner first, THEN take a moral stand for strange men who aren’t in their crew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:14 PM
2

I did this too and it was a cute guy that I’d liked for some time. But he always made plans day of or night before and it literally was not possible with my work and other commitments. I told him this. Then I suggested nights further out in response to his invitation. Then I met another guy and added him to the mix and he did plan ahead so he snagged most of my few free nights. So Last-Second Liam kept getting turned down for his last minute invites and sent me a truly amazing breakup novel dump…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:04 PM
2

Oooooooooh!!! My head is exploding - I love the war insight. Here’s an additional theory: during war, a lot of men are absent from the home/community/ workplace, so women take their place. Wars actually are what allowed women into the workplace and factories in the US. So men return to a home that didn’t need them and jobs that have been filled by their wives. Men are faced with how wildly replaceable they are in every sphere of daily life (and replaced by the servant class they’ve deemed weaker…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:53 PM
60

If they really push, I’d pretend to know them. “Oh hi! Wow look how you’ve grown! Tell your mom I said hi! Is she still doing the church thing? Oh man, it’s been awhile.” It upsets the power imbalance and threatens accountability which removes all their incentives for being this way. (It also gives me time to get hand on taser and thumb on the on button in case I need to whip it out and get him.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:40 PM
28

Yes! That was always a huge boundary for me, because it weeds out guys who want to keep you as a backup to their “real” girl. At least 2 days prior. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:45 PM
2

You know, it’s really a bit of a trap, tbh. You know how malignant narcissist types will hold up something as the #goals you need to achieve? And then, as soon as you get there, it’s something else, or the goal changes? It’s because the real goal is to keep you centered on them, distracted from you, and deeply insecure. That’s what’s happening with looks “types” and promotion in the media. We all know that men as a demographic are not picky, will fap to literally anything, and sleep with almost …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:41 PM
2

This is true. And no one hates that more than LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:15 PM
5

You’ve captured the mindset of abusive men perfectly here. That’s exactly what this is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:14 PM
2

🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:58 PM
33

1234 Nope Ln, Haveaseat, NO 66666
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:52 PM
10

Omg I’m obsessed with her vids. Watch all of them. She is HILARIOUS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:43 PM
8

I would love to retire to Norway or Denmark. The Scandinavian cultures do such an amazing job of accounting for human nature and fallibility but still encouraging the best in people. I’ve enjoyed every second of my many travels there. I don’t think it’s new. I heard it growing up from both the German and the Indian sides of the family. And from my American environment and private school classmates. Encouraging women to be small to make men feel bigger has been around for centuries. I have always…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:23 PM
16

I do think men see us as a natural resource, and we use up natural resources to make our current lives easier. That means men are almost impossible to reason with or talk into a better way. Do you negotiate with an oil Derrick about whether you’re making good choices? Of course not! I don’t see most women putting a lot of leg work into damaging other women unless they themselves have some major issues to work on. Women see us as people, so it’s a much easier version of toxicity to address and ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:18 PM
4

I don’t think it’s a porn-driven shift tho…. Or a shift at all. I’m not young and grew up hearing from aunties and uncles that men don’t like women taller than them. I used my first babysitter paycheck to buy my first set of 3” heels (from Payless 🤣 … only shoe store closest enough to walk to without a driver license) because I was only allowed to wear flats. And had the usual roster of interested boys who refused to appear with me in public because their bros would make fun of them for being wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:11 PM
43

Sandra L Browns “women who love psychopaths” goes over the traits that these predators look for when choosing women. LVM often try to drag you down to their level if you weren’t already there, but NVM often look for high-performing, high-energy, conscientious, high-executive function women with an unfulfilled thrill-seeking side. If they want to exploit, there needs to be something there to exploit. She talks a lot about how this desire for more without the gumption or opportunity to go for it i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:53 PM
2

I’m 100% serious - “reclaiming my time” without the emotional energy demand of a confrontation is a huge passion of mine. Imagine what we could accomplish in the workforce if scrote tactics to shift their workload to us were met with these lovely, HR-safe responses and our time was free to dedicate to our own careers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 02:45 PM
2

I noticed this trend when we watched - of all things - Peter Rabbit 2. The husband sneaks around behind the wife’s back to try to get her profitable, career-making book deal withdrawn. Then when that doesn’t work, he talks her into doing the sabotaging herself and destroying her valuable and tenuous career relationships. Truly villainous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:48 AM
9

Ugh. These guys pop up in every women’s professional group in the tech space. Their mere presence alters the women’s interactions and they demand a disproportionate amount of talking time and social coddling. God forbid anyone pitched a good or patentable idea in his hearing - inevitably his team would be rolling out a ripped off effort within a month. We called them “grackles” informally at one of my jobs. They were probs more like cowbirds, actually, hogging resources from someone else’s nest,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:36 AM
9

This needs to be in the handbook!! Flawless advice, I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:32 AM
23

I’d also add that it’s a joy to add heels to height when you’re in the workplace. I spent years towering over most of the men on my team. It definitely added a little ridiculousness to their attempts to dominate any situation. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:19 AM
35

How is that possible? I’m about the same height and the constant negging from literally everyone started about age 13 and still hasn’t stopped in public and expanded family/friend groups. If there’s a magical land where tall women don’t get grief for their height, I want to go there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:17 AM
31

It’s quite different in states with shorter populations and no modeling industry to speak of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:15 AM
3

Yes, this is so true! Omg, I hadn’t even thought of that, but you’re right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 08:05 PM
9

I hear you- my exes series of wives starts to blend together after awhile. Wives 3 and 6 seemed nice and it’s a shame they got hooked, but the rest have been very interesting personalities. It doesn’t affect much tho, which can be tough to swallow as a stepparent. I’m glad yours are staying at a decent distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 07:36 PM
1

I can’t either, tbh. Let me know if you think of one - that would be a fascinating discussion/thought exercise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 07:28 PM
29

I think the new wives need to know they’re making a good choice rather than getting the unwanted discards of a woman who is finally choosing better than they are … so the narrative that you’re jealous/want a good man back is far more palatable to her than the reality that you escaped and she’s clueless enough to fall for his Schtick even with your example as evidence of his issues. 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s okay. She’ll get there eventually. Some folks learn better by experiencing it first. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 07:07 PM
3

I agree with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 07:03 PM
15

Oh man, that is amazing - so much space and peace once they finally move on. I remember not knowing what to do with all the freedom at first. 🤣😬 Congrats! 🎉🎊🍾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 06:59 PM
38

It really does. It’s traumatic enough and there’s an entire industry around escalating the conflict to bankrupting levels. I hope your ex gets distracted soon and leaves you to building your new life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 05:38 PM
123

I do see “mamas boy” weaponized by misogynistic men who want to shame sons into adopting their views of women. There’s obviously a healthy medium and it sounds like you’ve found it. Of course, as a mom, everything you do will be criticized, so we just have to drown it all out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 05:16 PM
16

If they’re posting from their US location, that may be sufficient to establish jurisdiction- not sure of local laws on that. If everyone is required to use a VPN to post, post anonymously, and all photos have geolocation data stripped prior to entering the possession of the site holder (so that data can’t be subpoenaed), it might be a fairly safe prospect. ETA: now I’m thinking about this - there was a small college centered site years ago that allowed women to input their assault details in a t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:10 PM
28

Technically slander is really hard to prove. Even if he does prove it, he would have to show damages, which again, if she hasn’t gotten him fired, is going to be tough to quantify. So we probably shouldn’t be threatened. That said, courts don’t really work the way they should for women. Bill Cosby is a free man. So it’s probably wise to be overly cautious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:05 PM
63

I see my various women’s groups try this all the time, locally. Average life span of the list is about 3-4 months before someone tattles to one of the menz, who promptly threaten to sue. Meanwhile men are doing this for years and it takes an official federal investigation (probably because the male lawyers felt left out) to shut it down. https://www.stripes.com/news/hundreds-of-lewd-photos-of-female-servicemembers-discovered-in-dropbox-folder-1.516274
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 02:27 PM
2

Yes! That exact scene was the seed for the whole thought. I adore all shows from PWB.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:54 PM
13

No, now that women are not able to do the work, what is their use? Watch female infanticide rates there rise again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:31 AM
7

Please go for it! And thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 11:28 PM
6

Wait. Wait. WHAT? There’s a cap on how much you can put in your 401k. You couldn’t put over 18,000 bucks in the 401k in 2015. It’s up to a 19.5k cap now. Also a lot of employers match a percentage of your salary …. So if his does, he’s putting in even less of his net and still maxing out the 401k. Also, if you’re married in a community property state, 50% of his 401k is yours starting at the date of the marriage. If not married, she’s just bankrolling him so he can bulk his retirement more easil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 07:53 PM
15

That was what it sounded like to me also. He’s trying to drive a wedge between her and her mom. His reason can’t be good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 07:47 PM
5

^ Nailed it!! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 07:41 PM
5

We are going to find negatives on a lot of these… That said, I love the energy and I would love to see so many more posts about HVM that we’ve seen IRL or even the things done that were HV, regardless of how things went with the man. I think it’s positive to focus on what we want and what to look for. We attract what we dwell on in so many situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:44 PM
39

“I’ve never insulted anyone! I simply describe them accurately.” This character is iconic. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:40 PM
1

Grandma is a whole mood. 🤣👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:39 PM
115

I saw this a lot in the workplace. It makes me wish periods and pregnancy/childbirth on men. Women have pain and discomfort built into our bodies monthly. We have to face the risk of death if we want to create a living legacy via children. We have to soldier through exhaustion and physical injury to create life. Our painful, character-building, maturing journey is literally inescapable and built into our bodies. Men have to opt in to have a painful, risky character-building experience that bring…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:35 PM
21

Yeah, and they’re only human. So personal life stuff can affect them. I saw an amazing therapist way back in the day and she just got everything around leaving a coercive controller, coparenting, the trauma, rebuilding. Then suddenly, everything went a little sideways. She kept suggesting I was jealous of my ex (😬😑🤔) and didn’t seem encouraging of my making strides to find community and new friends any longer. She went from empathetic and grounded to pathologizing some healthy steps and positive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:25 PM
4

I think we all know what our answer will be. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:17 PM
14

This is amazing energy. I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:16 PM
11

High-five. Same and same and same. FDS does work. (Met at a fundraiser, bonded over a shared love of planes and cycling.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:14 PM
41

The author of “Wifework” comes to this conclusion at the end of her book: marriage is a “pearl of great price” for men, to be acquired by whatever it takes for them. It improves every aspect of their life immensely, statistically. For women, marriage is only a net positive if you have kids with the man to whom you are married … largely because it lowers the statistical odds of poverty or child abuse from stepdads. Also, it’s fair to simply respond with “tits” (then leave, obviously) if anyone as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:10 PM
39

Even if your dog is a lazy snugglebutt, any creeps won’t know that. In “Predators”, Anna Salter points out that for some reason we don’t actually know, random violent crimes between strangers almost never involve a house or person with a dog. It’s vanishingly rare. Just having a dog about makes you statistically safer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:53 PM
3

I’d second this. Video call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:50 PM
39

This is such solid content. So true. (And be cautious of seeking therapy while you’re with him if you have kids - it will be used against you in future custody situations.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:13 PM
0

Yes!!!! Beautiful. He sounds like a winner so far. Great post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:02 PM
61

I think pedophilia is a bit psychopathic. Psychopaths love power and adults always have power over kids; that’s just how social dynamics work. You can see a lot of apologists for it on Reddit rambling on about how people who lust after small kids but don’t offend … they deserve sympathy. But when you ask if they’re around kids, they always have sought out environments where they’re drowning in kids and have weaseled into positions of trust that allow them unsupervised access to the kids. If you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:51 PM
236

It speaks to how effectively actual consequences do work for men, tho. Men are able to control themselves sexually when they can go to jail for failure to do so. Men don’t control themselves sexually with adult women because they know rape doesn’t bring actual consequences, because they know they can muddy the waters with he said she said, because they know they can rummage up support and be taken more seriously than any woman. Our consent never matters. It doesn’t matter before 18 because they’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:36 PM
1

At least the next time I slip up and say it to someone’s face, they’ll just think I’m calling them a salty vegetable snack. That might be useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:17 PM
35

I’ve always thought it a bit suspect that the advice they give their daughters and the advice they give women they want to sleep with are entirely different bodies of advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:14 PM
4

Ugh. Yeah, that’s more likely. Pickles are exhausting. But the fault is still the man’s for not creating a secure environment for her. ETA: pick me s. Pickles is now my code word for pickmes. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:12 PM
12

She should have just taken in a stray raggedy dog. Better odds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 11:12 PM
9

Or he’s a psychopath and will overdose her once he has his name on her house’s title and car title and in her will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 11:10 PM
25

Tbf, she may have deleted her own responses pre-screenshot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:33 PM
3

Ugh. Guys are too headache. I mean, if you’re enjoying him and see it progressing as you continue to learn about him, but you’re a slow mover, that’s a great answer. If he flakes, he flakes. There’s your honest answer as to why he’s there - it was the sex, he thought you were one of those holdout chicks who waits a whole (GASP!) five dates to put out, and he was knocking to see if anyone was home when that didn’t happen. You didn’t open that 6 date door holding a pussy platter, so he’s gonna try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:46 PM
10

What a load of flaming horsesh1t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:13 PM
11

I’d add the males who police your “role” or sabotage your success, for no other reason than to ensure you “stay in your lane.” They’re super common in tech environments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:22 AM
15

Jeez, that’s terrifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:19 AM
27

Yeah, it only pops up with rosters. It’s like they can smell the other men circling you and want to cut them off. Suddenly every man you talk to is asking for exclusivity on date 2 or 3. It’s not commitment. They just want the desperate, lonely girl they hoped they were getting, so it would be easier for them. Tbh, if you’re feeling particularly savage, it’s probably a perfectly legitimate vet. Cut the guy off if he’s asking for this early if that works for you. It’s probably just d!ck strategy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:01 AM
19

This comment is powerful. Hear hear!!! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:57 AM
31

I’m convinced they’re mostly men, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:54 AM
123

This. If someone can’t stop robbing banks, we don’t give them a vending machine to break into as an “outlet.” We put them in prison for being defective humans who harm the social fabric of our community and endanger the safety of their fellow humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:54 AM
153

These men think women are natural resources, not people. They’re arguing that some men can’t afford their own land, so they should have some public parks available for those guys to loll about, even if that land gets trashed. The entire discussion should not be happening because women are, in fact, human beings… and cannot be purchased.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:51 AM
44

That push for commitment is problematic. I’d always ask to table it for 3 months and then if we still both feel “this way” we can revisit the talk. All of those guys flaked. They were either trying to lose the competition (without giving up any of their girl chasing outlets) or rush intimacy before it developed organically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:48 AM
40

That was my experience as well. What seems to be lost in translation is that you’re not having sex with your roster. I had a 3-6 month window for sex and trust me, all but one guy will have rotated out of the 3-4 man roster at least once (some spots will be on guy 4 or 5 by that 3 month mark). A man who digs you will be fine with the 3-6 months and will be present and constant enough that you’re pretty sure by 8-12 weeks that he’s not shuffling a bunch of other people as sex partners. Men who ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:45 AM
167

I agree. No need to shift the blame to a safer target. Blame the man. Blame the driver. If a woman had been driving, we wouldn’t be composing entire fictions about the man in the car that allow us to partially blame him for his girlfriend’s driving habits. Let men own the entirely of their bad actions. If women could change male behavior, even pickmes would have done so ages before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:35 AM
8

The UK has definitely moved in the right direction with it also. I wish the US would plug in and follow suite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:29 AM
7

In my dating days, men only asked me to cook for them once. It’s always more fun to watch him choke down burnt, over-salted chicken before you dump him for holding a wife-slave audition on your precious time. 🤣🤣🤣 can I cook? Of course, sugar! My Heartburn Ham is unforgettable. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:24 AM
5

Forgiveness is done by you for you. It changes nothing for the person who caused the offense. What they’re experiencing are consequences … and no change in your emotional state can erase the consequences that they earned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:20 AM
5

Oh, no. Does she have hyperemesis? The constant vomiting will absolutely break you emotionally and mentally. It is hell. Has she been able to get unisom/diclegis or metoclopramide? Please encourage her to see as many OBs as she needs to find one that will take the vomiting seriously and help her find relief. This site is also amazing support: https://helpher.org/forum3/ Pregnancy is so tricky because there’s no way of knowing what dad will do until you’re already quite pregnant. It’s a complete …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:18 AM
57

Just refusing to take sides against another woman -just resolutely staying neutral or even lightly positive about her strengths - drives so many men up the wall. No, I don’t hate her. No, I don’t want to sleep with her. She’s actually just a really amazing negotiator and I enjoy being on her team. It’s actually a lot of fun to watch the guys fumble. They’re not used to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:06 AM
4

This is so insidious and under reported. I’m so glad to see that the word is getting out!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:02 PM
8

That is a very powerful book. She takes a lot of heat in Muslim circles but is fearless about speaking truth to power. Her new book “Prey” pulls zero punches. Phyllis chesler married into a Muslim family (did not convert, I don’t think) and is a more controversial author on the topic of women’s experience in Islam. There is another excellent author - her works are more scholarly and less anecdotal than the above. Her name is slipping my mind. I will find and edit if I can. Raised in a multi-reli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:44 PM
8

Marg Mowczko’s blog is excellent: https://margmowczko.com/margs-articles/ Really, anything that has “egalitarian” or “egalitarianism” as a tag has potential. Bob Edwards and his wife have a great book - “Let My People Go: A Call to End the Oppression of Women in the Church” - out on the origins of the religious story (Christianity) that point out (a) contextual reasons for any sexism, (b) the many many spots where sexist translation or commentary were added to the religious record (and are now a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:38 PM
36

Men project their own perceived behavior in that situation onto you. They’re the ones that believe sexual activity changes a person’s identity, and so it’s logical that unlimited sexual activity (of the kind they desire) that enriches you financially would change you (read: them) even more. Since they’d change, they assume you would as well and find the prospect frightening (which makes me wonder what they’d change into if it were them…). Since most women’s identity isn’t organically rooted in s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 01:27 PM
47

My ex’s friend had a “template” from his old doctor that he’d update the date on in pdf periodically and just keep in his car like he just got it, just in case someone asked. He didn’t want to “waste” time at the doctor and he was quite promiscuous. Mentioning, as the limits men will go to for sex are pretty extreme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:31 PM
8

“Whew, I feel less guilt then. I’ve been doing that all along. I’m so glad you’re okay with it! I just didn’t want to make you feel bad.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:29 PM
35

Yeah. He’s dumpee material. Also, if a guy brings up his mom or dad or a sibling and seems to love them, ask or watch for special things he’s done to care for them. If it’s a big act of service or a gift, If it’s not a hug and back pat at every opportunity and lots of getting down on the floor to race cars with their kids/grandkids at every visit, and god forbid if he opts for a handshake anywhere that a hug would do, you know he’s lying about the physical touch. Those love languages are huggers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:28 PM
23

I think there’s a weird fetishization of Asian woman. I hear a certain subset of men literally introduce themselves to others (men and women) by randomly working in that their wives are Asian, and then waiting for their social rank adjustment. They do tend to be the socially awkward, gamer type. They don’t seem to always be awful guys and a few are very good husbands from what I can see (who knows what a marriage is really like, but they do bend over backwards for their wives and their wives see…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:22 PM
81

Ugh, the beards. I always mention the study that found a lot of fecal matter in men’s beards. It’s made me very popular.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:19 PM
2

Good. Let them froth. It rests their wrists, poor darlings. Carpal tunnel is such a miserable condition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:16 PM
6

You’re going to have a hard time finding an openly alcoholic mother in a custody battle who retains custody of her kids. It’s weird that it’s an issue when two of them were adopted by the mom before the marriage to their stepfather.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:26 AM
35

You’d think they’d spend more time trying to get a testosterone suppressant past the FDA than fiddling with our reproductive medicine. They’re their own advertisement for it, honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:19 PM
30

My FDS addiction is just the darkness inside me. Maybe that’s what we start putting on OLD. “I have a darkness inside of me.” He gets all excited thinking you’re into orgies. But really, it’s just that you’re a feminist. SO DARK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:15 PM
5

My bestie was in HR at a nearby company. I was in Tech. We talked about it (no names, confidentiality and all), and noticed we were both mourning the loss of our women’s networks in the same circumstances most of the time. Fully aware that it’s anecdotal. I don’t have any real stats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:12 PM
7

It’s not supposed to be. The recording was illegal. And the court has ended the program that made it possible. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/l-a-courts-end-remote-audio-program-after-illicit-britney-spears-hearing-recording-surfaces-1234975780/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:58 PM
6

It’s a prior petition filed Nov 2020, before spears made her statement. Supposedly the judge denied it on a technicality. However the delay for Britney’s lawyer filing a corrected petition asking for full dissolution could mean he knows who is really paying him (and doesn’t want to lose his job). If the judge is paid off, it’s a heads up that she may have to turn on them. Britney cannot win. Everyone around her benefits from the conservatorship not ending. And they control what she can say and d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:57 PM
12

Not anymore: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/l-a-courts-end-remote-audio-program-after-illicit-britney-spears-hearing-recording-surfaces-1234975780/ That recording wasn’t supposed to get out. Courts are going to make sure they can’t be held accountable again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:54 PM
25

Britney shaved her head and poked a harassing person with an umbrella after losing custody of her kids. That’s a pretty moderate response, IMO. She didn’t gun down a nightclub or overdose in a hotels. Amy Winehouse was in much worse shape. Wait … wasn’t her dad in charge too? Didn’t seem to help there either ….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:50 PM
9

The judge is a woman. But yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:49 PM
53

I think you could add custody decisions as well - Angelina Jolie is another celeb whose concerns are being dismissed. For criminal courts, we have Cosby, of course. A podcast on women in the justice system or alternatively one on growing financial security privately. Britney’s conservatorship will fade away the second she’s out of money. These people are only there to profit from her. How might we avoid attracting the wrong kind of attention financially?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:48 PM
34

All it takes to control an entire nation of women is two things: No birth control No custody rights. We are all far far closer to this kind of slavery than is comfortable to think about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:44 PM
37

It’s US history, too. Women weren’t able to open their own bank account without a man here in the US until 1960s and couldn’t get a mortgage in their own name until the mid 1970s. (Single women and especially moms still get asked for more personal documentation than single men / divorced dads when they apply for mortgages now.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:43 PM
19

Nothing. It’s pretty common, actually. I get so angry at money advice for women that doesn’t include a bit on “stealth wealth” or “growing in silence”…. If you’re a woman, you don’t want to advertise your net-worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:41 PM
20

A male shaving his head and poking a paparazzi with an umbrella would never be considered a breakdown…. Let alone one that required a team of parasites to separate him from his fortune and kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:38 PM
22

This is a hell that thousands of women have lived for decades. I hope Britney and Angelina can drive some awareness and reforms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:37 PM
41

This. No filing yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:33 PM
15

Here’s the big news, tho: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/l-a-courts-end-remote-audio-program-after-illicit-britney-spears-hearing-recording-surfaces-1234975780/ The courts are doing what they always do, which is keep people there until their money has been transferred to the court’s players’ pockets. Once she’s broke, they’ll let her go. Or her dad will lose interest. But they’re closing ranks again, to ensure they can’t be held accountable by those they are supposed to serv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:32 PM
6

Happy to! The wife gets promoted (meaningful- she moves into her first management role or gets a huge team placed under her on the org chart or moves into an exec role). Huge deal. She cites her supportive husband. Three months (or less) later, she needs to speak with her manager. Her spouse may need to relocate for his role. He’s been so supportive of her career - she can’t say no. Can she move to another site? Can she work partly remote? They’ll say yes and she will now be away from her power …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 02:26 PM
53

The number of men whose jobs “forced them to move” just after their wives got promoted at the wife’s job …. It was a career trope when I was corporate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:47 PM
19

Oh she will be on a legal forum touting what an amazing dad her client is because he discovered his fatherly side after she quoted his potential child support payment to him. 😖 every industry has its pickme army.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:46 PM
8

A tip on staying anonymous - share one Reddit profile for FDS among you and like-minded friends/neighbors/ roommates. The resulting info - even if you’re all fairly open - is broad enough that stalking scrotes can’t pinpoint one woman to harass. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 01:15 AM
5

And I’m so glad yours is an ex too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 08:00 PM
10

Thank you. It was a nightmarish waste of my 20s but my kids and I made it out alive and are well healed and flourishing now. I’m thankful every day. Hopefully the info can help someone else dodge that kind of hell!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:59 PM
23

Changing the schedule constantly so you’re never entirely ready or on time or always early or late. You make plans but never know what will materialize when or earlier or maybe with totally different people in a different place. So you don’t want to meet his mom? It doesn’t matter to you? Well, sure, it was tor Saturday night but if you do it tonight, you can both go to the cute farmers market jazz festival Saturday? So his mom meets a frazzled you on Wednesday night with a 7am meeting the next …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:46 PM
26

Ugh. Yes. Or if they made a point to play a perfectly innocent song at some point, all distant and slightly snippy while whistfully singing along, then you later learn it was “their song” with their ex. Get out. Do your mourning on your own time. I’m not here for your secret comparison session with the last woman you cheated on until she dumped you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:52 PM
14

God, the scrote stank energy on this one is epic. Do men like this never register that they have the emotional maturity of an 11-year-old? Seek therapy, dude. You need a professional for this mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:44 PM
35

Yeah, I’m more flexible with cats. I’m a smidge allergic too so it’s a somewhat distant relationship because cat chose us and she’s a sweetheart. Dogs are reviled by some religions, so I usually encounter “dog allergies” among a specific subset of my mom’s family and a specific cross-section of friends. And it’s not that they’re allergic - they wouldn’t know if they were cuz they avoid all dogs - it’s that they’re forcing their religious beliefs on my family in my home. Which I’m not a fan of. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:19 PM
63

This was always my rule for dogs and cats too. I better see some sneezing and involuntary tears if you say you’re allergic to pets that I have, even if they’re not in the room w us. If you’re just being weirdly religious and trying to hide it under allergies? I wanted them gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:34 PM
21

Hit a few local air shows. Lots of different pilots - you can find someone who flies as a hobby and then you’ll have a relationship where you both like to spend your weekends the same way! It’s the commercial and combat/fighter pilots who aren’t worth the time. Some of the air shows can trend a bit older. Those guys have sons and some bring their wives. Chat up any wives you meet. If you’re cool and love planes, they’ll definitely stay in touch and get you introduced to the younger men they know…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:27 PM
27

Yep. No lawyers. No police. No marines. No MMA guys. I know a lot of pilots (and married one lol). They come in different types. It’s the fighter / combat pilots that are ego cities. The commercial pilots for airlines tend to be unfaithful. The sport pilots tend to be nerds, but can be okay. The private pilots tend to be absent irregularly, so you’re going to have a lot of space, which can feel good or bad depending on whether you have kids and like being solo. They can be arrogant or okay, depe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:23 PM
98

If he plays “simple kind of man” or sings along to it in any capacity at any time in the first three months, I have suddenly reunited with my ex and can no longer communicate with him best wishes and nice life bye bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 02:19 PM
9

The truth will set us free … but first it will make us really angry. Wasn’t that a Gloria Steinham quote? It’s all so infuriating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:42 PM
3

A lot of this came from women who were punished by sex they either couldn’t opt out of in the moment or couldn’t opt out of without losing housing/work/community. Instead of punishing the men who raped women, or who fired women who wouldn’t sleep with them, or who threatened wives with a mistress or taking the children in a divorce when they wouldn’t sleep with them…. Instead of changing the men, we changed things for women. Okay, now it’s okay if you have sex! You can’t be shoveled off to a con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:19 AM
3

This man is utter trash. I saw the original and there were a handful of what appeared to be male profiles calling this guy out for being an epic douche canoe. Small fireflies of male sanity. Hopefully the overall standards have dipped this low everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:01 AM
44

Even if you could argue that, if it doesn’t cause behavior, it’s being consumed, which means someone somewhere enjoys it. Those people are largely free and walking the streets. It still damages the people who make it. It still serves a mindset that’s likely to damage the public. All the reasons we arrest men for simply viewing child porn still apply to adult porn - humans are harmed in the making of it, the existence of a consumer for many niches of it is a possible threat to the broader public,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:54 PM
6

Yes, one of my professors always called it “buffet feminism”… pick what you like, ignore the rest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:49 PM
18

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Standing ovation. PREACH THAT!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:38 PM
7

It’s so true. I see it in a couple women I know who have been high functioning their entire lives. Both recently became in the next in a long chain of wives/ex wives to flashy, charming men and these gals’ executive function is starting to vanish (we knew the ex wives - same thing there). The sad part is that if these ladies power up and get it back while with these men, the men will find subtle ways to sabotage them. They can’t win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:33 PM
6

This! Per the classic Maya Angelou quote: “of course I’m a feminist. I’m a woman - why wouldn’t I be on my own side?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 06:08 PM
12

Lol, same. It’s pretty tho! I bet the flowers smell amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 06:01 PM
41

Haha, my first thought was trying to think of a man who would set all this up and then not be there to see her face when she finds it… the influencer part makes more sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 06:00 PM
56

Yeah that’s definitely helpful. It cuts most LVM. There’s two parts of that I’d recommend vigilance for, though: 1. The more psychopathic NVM may see your boundaries and want your “natural resources” - family money, contacts, unpaid labor, your money, etc. - and raise you an amazing mask that works. The biggest give away here will be your increasing levels of anxiety (which you likely won’t connect with him) about yourself and life in general. We (women) have been conditioned since birth to make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 05:18 PM
20

Love it- 🤣🥰. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:24 PM
193

I think the big take away is that most men see women as natural resources, not as people. You can do whatever you want, and these guys will find a way to exploit it to their benefit. Be financially independent? They’ll exploit the cash. Make them pay? They’ll demand payment in other forms. Protect yourself - I’m 100% aligned with you there. I’d add to younger women that you can’t strategize a man into treating you well. He either sees you as a human (so you can have a normal peer relationship) o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:11 PM
4

I’m sure this is rich for analogy and commentary, but I can’t stop giggling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:59 PM
32

Yessssssss. Must read. Her “Women who Love Psychopaths” is also diamonds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:58 PM
-1

It sounds like this is a triggering subject for you. I hope your future holds better men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:06 PM
12

Excellent post - so true. When you consider how much of a woman’s daily experience is only something a man can relate to if you ask him to imagine that he’s in a dangerous prison… it’s a shock we are all as stable and sane as we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:49 PM
-1

Yes. You mentioned mothers “failing” to protect their children. Adding context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:46 PM
5

Many mothers aren’t allowed to do this. https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/a-gendered-trap-when-mothers-allege-child-abuse-by-fathers-the-mothers-often-lose-custody-study-shows/2019/07/28/8f811220-af1d-11e9-bc5c-e73b603e7f38_story.html Good luck, and I hope your country allows full custody for this stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:05 PM
5

It’s not quite like the lifetime movies portray. I’d recommend Ruby Payne’s “Crossing the Tracks for Love.” It’s a great breakdown of the social and class issues that most encounter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 05:58 PM
1

Such a great post. All very true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:30 PM
1

At the end of the day, complaining about other women won’t make men better. Eliminating every pick me on the planet won’t turn all the Predators into Jesus clones. Sewing the lips of every Karen together won’t change the unpaid labor distribution or make men more self-sacrificing. The problem is male choices. Not how they were raised (always by mom, because not dad), not how their date dressed or texted or let him pick her up. Not what second wave feminists didn’t do or what third wave feminists…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:22 PM
1

Jesus, it gets earlier every time I see the dates for it. I remember when Gen X started in the late 70s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:13 PM
1

I think what they’re saying (because it was true for them) is that without a man, financial and social options will be severely limited for you. Thankfully, for younger generations, the threat of never “finding a man” isn’t also a threat of poverty and isolation. We have second wave to thank for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:12 PM
1

This a million times. They haven’t lived in a world (ageism against older women is still wide spread in well-paying roles) where you could have financial comfort without a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:10 PM
13

Kids are so inexpensive, so you know dad’s $150 a month is going to that bish’s Botox.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 08:48 PM
23

Thanks for doing this. Misteps with men are costly. We don’t point out often enough what male lies and deceit lead us to spend on them and recovery from them, just financially. Men understand dollar signs. I hope you sent him a (figurative, cuz he can’t afford it) bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 01:21 AM
132

Good to hear that nothing has changed. 🤢🥴🤬 I hated so much the bring your spouse events. Always full of wives that I was expected to mingle with if I didn’t want a bunch of weird stuff from male coworkers after their wives clocked me only talking to the all male peers there. And inevitably the SAHM would eventually segue into how hard he works and how much he does for them so of course she does this and that and also licks his sweaty hard worked toes in gratitude every night … it took alllllllll…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 01:14 AM
264

It’s so true. In my corporate days, I’d occasionally joke that I needed a wife. It was always after guys mentioned the kids doing something (the silent wife was chauffeur and planner) or asked where my kids were. It always made them skip a beat. Not everyone in the workplace has a free one-person-servant class covering their home life. Men like to forget that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:54 PM
19

True. Or housekeeping and chores between wives/girlfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:24 PM
87

“Pointless: The Oldest Male Dilemma” would be my suggestion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:12 PM
2

Ugh. Disgusting. Also I will not be able to shake that mental image now… 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:40 PM
25

Yep. There’s a reason that birth rates in these cultures have dropped. Women see how their moms and sisters and friends are treated when they’re pregnant or become mothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:14 PM
2

I agree on both counts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:52 PM
13

I’d go so far as to say that her response to the womb robbers was shockingly mild. That is the one situation in which many moms snap or come close to it. The bond with children that young is so intense and primitive and having them distant from you for long periods is physically unbearable - higher heart rates and anxiety are common in moms with small infants they can’t see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:40 PM
9

It’s so frustrating to see those comments. She’s going to talk like someone who rarely gets a platform to actually talk to someone in power who can get her out. She’s going to talk to someone who will let her see her sons more if she’s convincing. She’s on god knows what forced drugs, sharing stuff that sounds crazy and unbelievable, and begging for freedom, after a decade of not being heard or believed. A slave asking for their humanity doesn’t need to be eloquent to be valid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:38 PM
6

I wish I had an award for you. This should be in the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:30 PM
11

It’s surprisingly common for these types of agency-removing arrangements and vehicles to pop up as suggestions or money management vehicles when it’s women helming an estate. If you do work with asset managers, having a trustworthy male figure who can helm those meetings can net you a lot of suggestions that allow you more agency. I hope we see some studies on this trend someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:29 PM
35

This. Also worth noting that her dads track record for employment, money management, addiction, and high conflict behaviors … it’s bad. He shouldn’t be in charge of an ant farm, let alone a massive multi-million dollar estate with a child entertainer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:27 PM
8

Me too. It’s the drugging her and then adding lithium to the mix when she pushed back that got to me. They’ll destroy her before they’ll let her own her own body. Had to step away. They have to know that she’s going to pursue criminal charges against some of them if she gets out. That’s probably behind a lot of this desire to keep her enslaved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:24 PM
7

This. I’ve noticed that most family law attorneys give lip service to moms and dads loving their kids equally, but you catch them after a couple of drinks at happy hour and they all know mom is the only one who will bankrupt herself to stay in the kid’s life and dad’s parenting responsibility is going to the new girlfriend or his mom the second the case is over. Kids are leverage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:06 PM
7

Great point. He did to those girls what Britney’s dad has done to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:04 PM
65

They’re also suggesting that death is an appropriate response to sexual activity (when their daughter is of age /older teen), whether consenting or not. It invalidates her consent, rendering her an object to be acted on, and reduces the act of the male on the thing-girl to an offense that merits murder. Maybe because she’s not the young man’s property, so he’s guilty of trespass in dads property, or maybe because the act alone is considered punishable for its “vulgarity” … which imposes the aggr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:02 PM
86

They’ll |{!|| them in some regions … honor |{!||!ngs. Demanding that women whose own fathers fill their childhood with this mindset … that the woman then must go out and adequately “vet” other men with what she knows and feels able to manage in a marriage …. Women are set up for failure in regards to men from the day we are born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:01 PM
18

You’re going to be all over the horrible MIL sub!! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:41 PM
160

What does that say about their feelings for their own wife?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:40 PM
20

Yessss this all the way. She’s fantastic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:32 PM
51

It’s fun to “not all men” these dads (who usually dislike feminists until their daughters are teens). Use their own words against them. I think half of them are scared their daughters will find a great guy that exposes them for the exploitative, misogynistic jerk they are by comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:32 PM
61

You’ll definitely lose custody. Or get meds for PPD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:30 PM
66

The problem is men care, but it’s their idea of a value add and they ain’t givin it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:28 PM
190

This. Dads and brothers have such a unique and special role in a woman’s life - they’re literally the only men who will ever love her without making it about their penis (in theory - hopefully reality). That’s something women never, ever get from men again in most cases - unless they have sons someday. Why a dad would throw that away by pretending that his role and other male roles in her life overlap is shocking to me, and must be so painful for these girls to realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:26 PM
16

They’ll kill them in some regions … honor killings. Demanding that women whose own fathers fill their childhood with this mindset … that the woman then must go out and adequately “vet” other men with what she knows and feels able to manage in a marriage …. Women are set up for failure in regards to men from the day we are born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:23 PM
9

I love love love Dr Jess. She’s always spot-on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:21 PM
16

There’s that male oppression we hear so much about. s/ 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:18 PM
1

Absolutely. 100% valid to not date any single parent if you’re not also a parent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:18 PM
20

I mentioned Mercury and Kanye to reference angry, aggressive, emotionally unstable men whose mothers weren’t given conservatorships over them when they were 40. I haven’t heard of child abuse allegations for either one. https://news.yahoo.com/freddie-mercurys-backstage-tantrums-and-ugly-172717484.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:16 PM
6

You’d hope. Single moms unfortunately aren’t heard in court proceedings for themselves and their kids as often as you’d think. If they were, she wouldn’t have lived 13 years of this. I do think all the public pressure will make a massive difference for Britney though - god bless whoever recorded this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:13 PM
16

Yes. If you follow “the court said” on social media, it’s an absolute epidemic. I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten more press, but you’re right- it’s unbelievable on its own, and when the main opposing voices are single mothers, it’s easily ignored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:12 PM
40

The doctor’s license should be suspended while they’re investigated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 04:01 AM
62

And that was when her children - who impeded her ability to perform and earn money for her dad and ex - were being taken from her. What mother wouldn’t snap?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:59 AM
139

Freddy Mercury. Kanye. How many men are actively drugging and molesting children and teens without losing their entertainment careers? How are woody Allen’s movies still on Netflix?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:58 AM
42

I’m kind of applauding whoever recorded a closed proceeding and then shared it. That’s going to make all the difference in what the judge does. I hope the “recorder” doesn’t get in trouble. Most of these proceedings should be open, IMO. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:56 AM
18

Most men don’t change. That’s rule one and you’ve nailed it. Step two is that if he does change … sis, he got you with his old ass. You think he’s revisiting you instead of going for the exciting new gals he thinks he can pull with his level up ass? It’s harsh, but men try to pull what they thought they couldn’t before. They actually improve, they ain’t comin back. ETA: royal sis, not you sis. Sorry, had to clarify.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:48 AM
6

Pretty much all of this. Which is quite the obstacle course…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:44 AM
20

This is a great depiction of the more antisocial options. So true. It’s bizarre to watch him become you and turn the new gal into a WAP for him who is convinced that you’re Satan. It is tempting to say, “hey, he’s imitating me and that’s who you fell for.” Don’t, of course. But there it is. The upside is that you become able to sniff out the men who are “wearing” their exes when you start to date again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:54 AM
51

They all feel condescendingly sorry for you. They all end up demanding your emotional bandwidth when they find out that what they wanted was a bad egg and you weren’t wrong and they were a bit silly. But by then they’ve badmouthed you to anyone who will listen. Always block the gfs/ new wife. It’s way too much work and risk and never helps you at all. They can get support from many other women when they leave, as you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:49 AM
7

Great post. I think women do give the advice that worked in their circumstances during their time in their environment. That’s going to be very different for an old money woman in Charleston in 1965 who can ensure good male behavior with a mention of daddy’s name, and an immegré student from a traditional Hindu South India background who is newly landed in New York in 2022 with limited means and a family at home both judging and hoping to profit from her westernization. Both are probably giving …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 11:55 PM
8

They generally are ignored. That’s why they’re mad, I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 11:00 PM
8

Also a note: a lot of counties publish court case info online. Find the county court site for the county where his divorce was filed. Search by his name. Check the dates. Look for a line item indicating a trial. If there’s a trial, he may have gotten a rough deal from the court. If not? He agreed to whatever arrangement he has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:37 PM
18

It’s pretty common - women are safer to go after. We don’t typically harm or cut off people for criticism. If men are ever as safe to criticize, I’m sure more people will feel comfortable holding men accountable for men’s actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:34 PM
16

This made me lol!! The US census bureau posts an annual report on child support, which is assessed fairly evenly across genders and also paid (or not paid) fairly evenly across genders. It’s not the male-Only oppression tool that MRAs would have you think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:33 PM
59

Same and same. “The Rules” was a big deal in my day and it’s not horribly distant from FDS. These guidelines keep popping up because women experiment with them and find out they actually can work in a solid percentage of cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:26 PM
31

Why do guys act like women here expect Uchi or Ruth Chris? If you can’t google “hidden gem foodie” for your city and take your date somewhere moderately affordable and cool, do you even care? And if you can’t afford that, dating should not be a priority for a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:24 PM
31

I agree. There’s a photo on another sub of thousands of bareheaded women protesting mandatory hijab in Iran. During my lifetime. They protested like we protest and they lost and now they and their daughters live with these restrictions woven into the intimate fabric of their lives. I think each generation has a youthful tendency to feel like the first - the first to try crazy sexual stuff, the first to be open minded about something new, the first to protest. Older generations harsh our buzz by …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:14 PM
26

Excellent point. I’d edit that to say that I personally would never have kids with men who are much wealthier than I am. Marrying a wealthy man when you’ve already had the kids with someone else or when you don’t want kids seems more likely to stay on the tracks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:54 PM
24

Yes!!! Great stuff. I love this one too: https://youtu.be/OImgs_538Zw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:20 PM
49

Men get all fathers’ rights and none of the fathers’ obligations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:18 PM
33

Yep. This is becoming more common in parts of the US too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:18 PM
58

It sounds like you made a wise choice for yourself and the pregnancy. I like the book “spirit babies” - it acknowledges the wisdom and consideration for themselves and the child that women often put into a termination, and talks about the souls coming back to find a mother who is ready for them or a better time with that particular woman if she does decide to become a mother. This would be the sort of wise choice that creates positive karma for you both and gives the soul a chance at a happier b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:16 PM
53

Men who request sole custody are more likely to have allegations of physical or sexual assault in their past. I’m highly wary of single dads who don’t coparent. I’d also point out that many women leaving abusers have developed (sometimes with the abuser’s encouragement) an alcohol or substance abuse problem. It’s a way of coping with their daily isolation in a war zone. I wouldn’t date men with exes who used or were addicted when I was single either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:12 PM
42

I seriously wonder. I’ve never met a decent guy who was this cavalier about a pedophile or a child maybe being assaulted. I don’t think they exist. A casual attitude about a kid maybe being molested is a red flag for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:10 PM
27

Idk, in my experience older generations of women are pretty FDS-adjacent. They just don’t assume men will improve or be better. So there’s a lot of work-around and strategies for preventing exploitation from an unevolved guy. I do think women can call men out now with fewer consequences to the women, which is amazing. Pre-internet generations didn’t have that. I grew up knowing women who reported coworkers for raping them and got fired / black listed/ stalked/ bankrupted for it. Not one women - …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:29 PM
12

That does make a bit more sense. Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:27 PM
53

I hope it’s money and contacts and she’s got a plan for all that. Otherwise, this is just so embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:26 PM
75

Awww, her dad looks really supportive!! 🤣😬🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:24 PM
6

No offense. Just pointing out the complexity of sharing these kinds of things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:24 PM
88

Reposting due to twitchy autobots: I wish I could upvote this a billion times. This is an epidemic in western (and Aussie) courts. The Worst Interest of the Child: The Trafficking of Children and Parents Through US family Courts by Keith Harmon Snow (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0981611486/). is a shattering deep dive into the process and corruption among family courts. You can also google Kelly Rutherford’s custody story. The dad almost let his daughter drown in his pool while in his custody; Ruth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:13 PM
10

A lot of fathers give up custody thinking the courts won’t grant it. This emboldens abusers to punish the moms for leaving them by taking the kids. It doesn’t help moms at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:11 PM
13

I’m not sure this is a message we want men to know, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:01 PM
268

Moms who don’t leave can lose their kids for “failure to protect.” Moms who do leave lose them this way. The clear message is: don’t get uppity- the man owns you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:01 PM
11

Too soon. Let it breathe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:00 PM
79

This. I can’t recommend sperm banks enough. Motherhood is pretty incredible, IMO, once you remove these risks and the entire infrastructure around disempowering you through your spouse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 07:59 PM
117

When Dad Hurts Mom by Lundy Bancroft notes and validates all the small ways battered women resist and push back. They’re almost never enablers or colluding, as much as the MRA movement tries to push that message. It’s a great read, and I highly recommend it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 07:58 PM
91

No. It started with pedos. They have no shame, which is a prerequisite for assaulting a small, vulnerable person in a way that scars them for life. Predators by Anna Salter is a great read for understanding the mindsets of men who do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 07:55 PM
288

There are tens of thousands of women with her story or much much worse. They’ve tried the news and gotten slapped with gag orders and (in my old town) million dollar fines for their comments. They often get put in jail. They lose any shared custody or visitation. They’re bankrupt. They’re broken. They sit in silent houses every night knowing their small babies are being raped at that exact moment. One snapped and disappeared with her child. If she gets caught, she goes to jail and her child goes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 07:51 PM
3

8am meetings are the WORST. Happy to help!!! 🤣👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 06:04 PM
3

This. Women with disabled children or no remote work may not have a choice but to stop working. Motherhood is dramatically under supported in the US. Moms have lost their kids by leaving them in the locked car for five minutes in good weather to run 10 feet into a convenience store. My parents did that stuff constantly with no issue when I was small. It’s gotten harder for moms and they have even less support now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 04:13 PM
6

Money discussion is always super triggering for men who aren’t doing well. I anticipate a lot of drama behind the scenes every time something like this is posted. Also a good reason to keep your financial status to yourself as much as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 04:08 PM
6

Think of it this way: Do you want to live in a beautiful house in a gorgeous neighborhood? Do you want to send your kids to a great school where they are happy? Do you want to look 5-10 years younger than your age forever? Do you want to travel the world? Do you want to drive a lovely car that never breaks down and is well maintained? Do you want to try a nice new restaurant every week? Do you want to spend your old age on a cruise ship instead of a nursing home? Women are conditioned (and men, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 04:04 PM
7

Definitely avoid if you’re with a coercive controller or a man with antisocial tendencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:58 PM
16

I agree with this. Couples therapy is for happy couples with one or two big issues they want to sort. Do we move for his/her job as the kids just get into the program they need at school? Is his mother moving in down the road manageable for me? Couples therapy for wholesale relationship failure is a slapping w Frozen-themed kids bandaid on an amputation. Just save time and money and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:57 PM
24

Most men really don’t have standards around women who are willing to sleep with them. I say that as someone who lucked out with HVM in most family roles and as a current spouse. Their standards tend to be around how he - the man- will live. Or if men do, they’re the most random standards and they never voice them. (My brother ditched one girlfriend - she was hot snd cold and broke up and got back and cheated and we’d all been asking him to move on while he moped and mourned and then …. She switc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:44 PM
3

As a note: you can reverse search men’s pictures to find their name, then run their name through intellius or other public data aggregators online. Those should give you a fairly accurate (within a year or two) age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:38 PM
14

“Why did you lie about your height? I LOVE tall women. I could climb you all day.” “Sir. I am 5’6”.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:37 PM
8

Having lived this, I can assure you they either have a height fetish (which is fine) and didn’t just want to call that out and get eliminated by gals who want taller. I’m still not sure what their plan is. Or, more likely, they’re going to shame you, make snide comments about whichever tall zoo animal they think of (get ready for the giraffe imitation), suggest you help them move (hahah), then shame you for wearing heels. Then they’ll tell everyone you’re 6’4” (which would be awesome but you’ll …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:35 PM
19

That’s such a small lie … my guess is that he was boundary testing to see where you pushed back. He got two cancels, then assumed a small insignificant lie on age would solidify his boundary leveling. Good on you for shutting that down early. You’d have met him, he’d had much much bigger lies down the road and ask why they bothered you when his age didn’t?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:31 PM
9

Yeah, I’m kind of in this camp too. I don’t get men acting like their entire value is in their penis- that’s kind of sad. And women are not a monolith- there’s a spectrum of tastes and they’ll find someone whose fine living with what they can’t change. That said, I’ve also flat turned men down back in college on the spot because dirty dancing with them at the club made me aware that whatever he was pushing against my hip was … dear god, there’s no way I’m gonna feel that. 🤏🏼 Not worth my time. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 04:40 PM
15

That took a surprise turn with the rapture, NGL. 🤣🤣 He will just go brag to everyone that he “made her see the face of God”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:30 PM
24

Yessss. Pet peeve. It most definitely does not make up for it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:26 PM
9

Dark helmet is a lot more entertaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:22 PM
19

That’s definitely a sub market for a lot of the smaller ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:21 PM
34

“I’m a boob man.” “I prefer my fleshlight.” Pick a path, son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 01:38 PM
35

Now I’m picturing this randomly playing in a club on throwback night and the men’s faces as they slowly register the new lyrics. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 01:36 PM
76

This is true. The third-leg dudes can’t get away with no foreplay. And some other sex acts where size is a detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 01:35 PM
7

The self defense class thing is bs as well. Women are more likely to experience time-poverty than men, particularly women in disadvantaged socio-economic groups. When is a single mom working two jobs supposed to fit in a serious Brazilian jiu jitsu hobby (not to mention how triggering some of the self defense classes can be for survivors)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 10:08 PM
6

I’m glad that angered someone else. I can’t believe how little press it’s gotten. Are we in the twilight zone? How is this not major news?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:29 PM
5

My first husband also gamed me until I was solidly into the first pregnancy. He had everyone convinced of his encompassing love for me, and passed as HV in a lot of ways if you didn’t dig (“do you have trust in your relationship?” ). Check his phone, ladies. My current husband is always what you see is what you get - he’s HV and also not too good to be true. I think there’s a lot to be said for having a breadth of eyes-wide-open experience with men. It helps a lot when you need to vet. Men have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:25 PM
1

And if you want to skip the choosing a man part, find a sperm bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:21 PM
4

Oh god. These guys whine then have the temerity to be “protective” of their teen daughters because “you know how boys/men are.” Yes sir, we do. And there’s no reason for us to disregard those facts with OUR daughters just to preserve your delicate feefees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:19 PM
3

Oh, there are problems in every region. Some much much much more dangerous and immediate than in many western countries, especially if your appearance stands out. I get a bit weary of male travelogues blogging about how safe they found some regions. I always want to say “what if you were female? What if your appearance clearly singled you out as a non-resident? Would you still have been safe alone, camping along the side of the road?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:17 PM
2

The author’s podcast is excellent as well!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:15 PM
2

Your first paragraph is so true! I love it. 👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:11 PM
6

This is so, so, so true. And from here on, if any man is mistreating her or her children, she can simply let him go. No worries about losing her children or having their time with her decreased so much that she can’t ensure they do well at school. Sperm banks are so underrated. I wish more women who want kids would consider them as a valid option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:08 PM
7

And if she does drag the crying baby to the store, she’s going to get comments about her parenting skills at a minimum. Just piling on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:06 PM
12

This sort of law enrages me, because by the time an unarmed woman is in a physical altercation with a man, she’s already lost. Hollywood movies that pretend a 110 pound woman can train away that advantage are ridiculous and men know it. Arm yourself with something - aerosol air freshener or hair spray are a weapon if you can hit his eyes. Don’t hesitate to live stream someone following you or verbally berating you. Collect old fashioned hair pins for their value as antiques.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:36 PM
236

They’re respected because they’ll end you for crossing them. Maybe there’s a lesson in that. 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 08:14 PM
55

Excellent advice!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 03:04 PM
15

Guys, this is lifesaving stuff. Take my money. Seriously. Also, I love that you touch on something I’ve noticed lately, which is that men don’t get to be mediocre. They’re either great, amazing, life supportive powerful forces for good in the lives of their loved ones, their community and their people. Or they are negative forces for ill in the lives of their kids, wives or communities. Men don’t have the option of mediocrity, and the ones who pretend they do automatically fall into the “forces …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:22 PM
6

Yessssss. Shout out to the Facebook comments on @ManWhoHasItAll for so many of these amazing gems. It’s the closest thing to FDS that I’ve found anywhere else online. I love that page.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:35 PM
10

Every time I’ve seen a guy admit to something like this in social media, there’s a solid reason. Solid meaning he either knows he’s gay and doesn’t want to come out, or he knows he has a micro penis and doesn’t want her to know. He’s not delaying sex with her because he wants sex with her. It’s not a good sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:05 PM
18

That’s another classic. Her blog is so good - even if there’s no infidelity, I think her mindset and boundary advice is healthy for anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:19 AM
35

I love it! Chump Lady lexicon uses this phrase a lot and it’s never bad advice. https://www.chumplady.com/2012/12/trust-that-they-suck/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:12 AM
101

Girl. Men spend so much time, energy, and money trying to get close to a naked p***y. Any guy who makes it 98% of the way there and blows it with a weird judgey underwear obsession is dealing with his own demons. Be glad you know before he potentially knocks you up. You don’t want people with that kind of self-destructive tendency in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:08 AM
8

There’s a really amazing article about how men talking about “bad sex” just mean it was a bit boring, but women mean there was pain, or worse. https://www.coursehero.com/file/75218840/Loofbourow-2018-Female-price-of-male-pleasurepdf/ This one, I think. I hope we can link it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:44 AM
29

That’s pretty much the same conclusion the author (and all the studies she cites) reached too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:04 PM
12

Awesome!!! Let us know what you think!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:03 PM
308

Yessssssssss. I wish I could force all the incel crowds to read “Wifework” - basically marriage is a LOT of labor for women and the only upside is that the father of your kids (if that’s who you’re married to) is more likely to pitch in and help raise solid kids. That’s the only scenario where marriage has any benefit for women that exceeds singlehood. The benefits for men are astronomical even in mediocre marriages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:15 PM
8

She’s on Instagram and has a YouTube channel also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:37 AM
12

The camp counselor with the face marker guy is my fav video.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:14 AM
21

Ok, so I found her in Instagram and her post directly under this one with the pregnant woman needing a vag snorkel for the baby…. 🤣🤣 omg, You guys. I am dead. This was the fierce auntie energy my day needed! ETA: menorah and downstairs kitty cat. I am screaming!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:10 AM
7

I’m so glad. They’ve had great customer service in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:57 AM
44

ModLi (as much as I hate the idea of modesty as a sexual concept and am pretty sure the name references that) has some very cute swimsuits and rash guards with shorts and sleeves and fitted pants. lands end has swim shorts and short sleeve blouson swim shirts too. They’re not always the sexiest, but it’s a good way to see how nasty he gets when he doesn’t get free spank bank material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:19 AM
18

True. And in referencing a prior time, he means the days when men had to hire a prostitute to get a blow job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:16 AM
8

Meh, she managed to pull assets back into the fold and keep them for her kids. No frittering them away on his bangmaids. Good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 09:28 PM
24

Girl. 👊🏻🙌🏻✋🏻 Also turn off your messages. It’s the only way to enjoy Reddit in peace. Congratulations on your freedom!!!! 🎉🎊🎁🎂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:22 PM
9

I have got to quit drinking Waterloos when I read this page. My nose hurts now, thanks. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:19 PM
6

Judaism is kind of ahead when it comes to a lot of the practical boots-on-the-ground ways to live a balanced, connected life. I did some digging into it a few years ago and was impressed. You can tell it’s a bit older than it’s peers, and the more fantastical stuff has taken a backseat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:18 PM
7

Ugh. I’m still petitioning to get his photo put next to the encyclopedia entry for “douche: n” …. How does he have any followers? I don’t get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:16 PM
5

I loved that too. I could have listened to an entire hour of her just talk about the nuances of parenting healthy boys into healthy men. It’s so tricky and there’s absolutely no guidance that’s worth anything. Maybe she would come host a Q and A on that topic for the moms and grandmothers here? There has to be a huge audience for that area of her wisdom as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:05 PM
5

I saw this years ago in a guy’s opinion column and am so happy it’s gotten the kind of wide spread exposure that puts it on Gail’s radar. It’s the perfect analogy- feeding your sexuality McDonalds for every meal definitely destroys your body and your sexual palate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:03 PM
19

Lacerations would not have been enough either. Women don’t have full legal rights for typically gendered crimes in most US courts. I wish more women knew that prosecuted rapes that we see in the media are usually exceptions. I’m so glad you don’t have children with this man. It gets much much much more horrifying than this when children are part of a split. Thank you for sharing your story, this complete stranger is proud of your persistence and strength and self-love, and I join you in hoping t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:05 AM
16

Why do you think they’re scared of being womanly or scared of being thought gay? It’s not because they dislike women…. It’s because they know how they treat women. Snd they don’t want to be on the receiving end of what they dish out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:53 AM
12

There but for the grace of god… That’s enough internet for me today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:50 AM
9

Wow, that was AMAZING. hahaha, my husband is saying he’s never heard me screaming “YES!!” so often in such a short amount of time. 🤣🤣🤣 Man, such amazing advice. Gail is a Goddess. Brilliant advice on parenting, men, all of it. Love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:05 AM
9

They really do tend to occupy the extremes of the spectrum. I feel like “average” isn’t an option for men. They can choose to be incredible pillars of strength and support for those they love …. Or they can destroy human lives en mass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:39 AM
25

Jesus was HVM in a lot of ways, NGL. I remember going back and re reading a lot of the Bible as an adult and going “huh. Where did all the insanity of my youth come from? The Old Testament? I thought we didn’t follow that?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:37 AM
3

This is so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:42 PM
-1

I guess I’m not seeing how admonishing women to keep their legs closed so they won’t be abused by their own husbands is a big step forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:26 PM
38

I see what you’re saying (and no worries, your English is fine!), but I keep seeing this deflection on FDS lately, even in the podcast last ep. A childhood teacher can’t make a man not be horrible. A wife or teen girl can’t make a man not be horrible. His mom’s influence is distinctly limited and often overridden. If it’s something women can try, women have already tried it. If there’s no consensus, that’s probably because those things don’t make a significant difference in what that man chooses…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:49 PM
61

It’s textbook coercive controller. It’s not extreme. It’s not suspicious. Im seeing a lot of shifting blame for men’s actions back into women or trolls. Yes men are often this bad, women are often this trapped, and yes there’s no way out. Vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:44 PM
9

Right? “I already did this. It’s trademarked, where my royalties?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:34 PM
47

Gillian Anderson did - or may still, IDK - live apart from her husband for years after they married. She said it was great because she could step over a pair of his pants he’d thrown on the floor at his house and not feel any obligation to pick them up. Maximum Queen energy with that statement!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:31 PM
33

So hear me out: sleeping pills. Unisom has gel caps. Nothing major, no harm. But if he’s snoring after dinner every night, that frees up a lot of her time to get the kids and her to bed. Maybe job hunt a little online. Collect herself in a quiet house every night and plan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:26 PM
72

The kids aren’t throwing away her life - the bad man is the problem and Waster of her life. I understand the need to deflect blame for the actions of shitty men onto literally anyone else alive, all of whom are less likely to murder us for criticizing them, but it’s nice - on FDS at least- to not shift the blame to kids, exes, his mom, his childhood teachers, etc. It’s just him, sis. He’s bad. There’s been no one who can change that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:23 PM
60

And as soon as he twitches, rolls off, and starts snoring, she’s going to be getting up with the kids all night long. Gee, I wonder why she’s not prioritizing him over at least 4 hours of sleep a night?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:13 PM
6

Time for a bonfire!!! It’s not fair that he spend time with his PlayStation when he can’t spend time with you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:04 PM
23

Even if she had left, the odds are high that he’d have claimed alienation to take the kids away, and she’d continue to live in another sort of hell for decades. The impact of NVM is immeasurable and long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:02 PM
30

This is true. I had an aunt who kept telling teen me to -every time I saw a man - think in my head, “How can you serve me?” Or “how can you meet my needs?” She believed firmly that men were created to keep women happy, that they inherently knew this was their purpose and calling for being on this earth, and they would respond favorably to this energy. I’ll be honest, it still makes me uncomfortable to think in this way, but she was not wrong. Men DO respond to this energy - so many guys are so h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:44 AM
2

Hey, it’s good to know about a breed before you get one! And it’s good for a gal living alone to have a dog. (Not sure why, but crime research seems to support the theory that a dog means you’re less likely to be a target in your own home.) Great Danes can be a little unpredictable if they’re male and not neutered so there is that. But they’re pretty lazy, so it’s a surprisingly low maintenance breed if you socialize them when they’re small enough to physically manage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:19 PM
24

Right? I don’t know where they are living, but it’s not in the real world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:18 PM
12

It’s really sketchy. Thanks for validating! 😁😬 I’m a privacy nerd and it makes me uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:58 PM
28

Tiktok just gave itself permission to mine your biometric information, so expect a big push to create catchier music and features that attract more users. Big tech crunch article on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:12 PM
87

I agree. Reddit in particular has quite a few subs and comments by men and for men about how they think it’s not possible for Asian men to be considered sexy or desirable by women (cue segue into incel commentary). It’s great to see videos like this that prove them wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:40 PM
24

They’re seriously the closest you’re going to get to a man-sized low-maintenance partner who absolutely adores you and yet steals all your snacks off the kitchen table. Once you get one, it’s impossible to live without a farting Great Dane taking up the entire sofa next to you. Ever again. (Keep the windows open.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:56 AM
22

Just get a Great Dane. They’re giant coach potatoes and the total sweetest. Their bark also sounds like the Hound of Hell. They’re cowards, but they bark a lot before they run and hide, so you’ll be fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:47 AM
44

I bought extra copies of “Wifework” to gift to my nieces and friends’ daughters at their high school graduation (bundled with “I’m not for everyone and neither are you” and a couple other classics). It’s a damning statement against marriage unless you have kids with your husband. Other than that specific scenario, marriage doesn’t statistically benefit women who don’t have kids or who already have kids with someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:38 AM
70

🍤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:36 AM
3

This is true. Children only have room - as much as stepparents don’t want to hear this- for two parents in many cases, and the parents are gods to them (maybe messed up Greek gods, but still). Divorce or a split - even in the best circumstances - is shattering for kids. And it also doesn’t change the fact that you’re tethered to the child’s other parent forever. We do it a disservice by calling it the same thing we call a childfree split. It is not a severing of the relationship, unfortunately, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:46 PM
20

Lowering stress probably freed your immune system to handle EBV more efficiently. (And being with a cheater is likely to increase your viral load significantly- his partners’ microbiomes are becoming part of your micro biome and that’s just a lot).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:34 AM
45

The entire book of “Wifework” just says that over and over again, lol. This study and that study and this event ... all basically “not much benefit in this for y’all.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:31 AM
6

Sadly this is fairly common. Please be careful, OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:51 PM
5

I am, thank you!!! It is. I’ve found that refusing to let a man weaponize me against any other women, but particularly his exes (which included his venting about them, or his trying to get me to be jealous of them or “friends” with them when they clearly still liked him) weeded the drama boys very quickly. I choose my own friends, I won’t fight with your people, if the ex is an issue that’s his problem entirely. If any of this makes me unhappy more than once, we are over. No discussion, no analy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:41 PM
18

They do glom on sometimes. I struggle more with this than men, tbh. Trying to figure out a gentle, civil exit now with one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:35 AM
40

I’m soooo glad you made it out. I’ve watched my ex husband cycle through women over the years, seen them be weaponized against me to the point of stalking me, hacking me, assaulting my kids, even poisoning a cat I had. But they all ended up broke, hollow eyed, fat, friendless, and -there’s one I don’t know- but the rest developed severe autoimmune diseases (2 now have MS). If they’d only asked, I’d have been happy to sound a cautionary note or two (except for the affair partner - sis got what sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:31 AM
15

He beats women. Zero exceptions. If he’s smart enough to not beat his partner, he’s smart enough to not share the story of his police encounter on an early date. He’s terrified you’ll run a background check and wants to get in front of that story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:27 AM
34

Shhhhhh. I personally would NEVER automatically discriminate like that. Ever. 😉 flexes downvote finger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:25 AM
47

Please be safe. Watch your money and your accounts and check for hidden cameras or him filming when he’s made you mad. If he knows you’re leaving, he statistically likely to play very dirty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:19 AM
72

Honestly? If they’d do 100% of the housework (in their opinion; IRL that should get them to a solid 50%+) complaint-free and not have affairs/ use porn copiously/ tamper with the wife’s reproductive plans or goals, 95% of men’s marriages would be bulletproof on their wife’s side. That’s probably setting the bar too high tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:16 AM
65

If it’s true, they probably withheld it as a power move. Sadly, I’ve found that assuming only maybe 50% of what men say in the workplace is accurate gives your career wings. It’s mind blowing - how do they have the energy to come up with that much bs?!- but the proof is in the pudding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:13 AM
66

That’s true. Avoiding LV women is a survival strategy also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:12 AM
73

I have a free award. I got ya, sis. 👊🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:11 AM
37

Nailed it!!! 👏🏻👏🏻❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:10 AM
17

This is so true. I spend probably too much time on blended family pages and there are always rants from the next wife listing the endless ways the ex mistreated / mistreats her now-husband. I’ve literally never met a single mom IRL who has the time or inclination for any of this stuff, so I always wonder where the drama is originating. I’d be willing to bet it’s usually a scrote who can’t pass up the rare opportunity to triangulate two women over himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:07 AM
4

It’s not always because they’re better character- it’s because they often garner more favor from their male peers so they don’t need to be more manipulative (or so they think). You sometimes find yourself dealing with both the manipulation and his many adoring male friends when the chips are down. Short men tend to have fewer male flying monkeys in my limited experience. That said, yes, generally, if you’re “on the same side”, they’re a LOT easier to live with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:12 PM
10

I love chump lady for this kind of uplift too. Dr Ramani is gospel. ❤️🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:44 PM
24

Please remember this the next time a mother is blamed for the way her grown child behaves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:22 AM
14

This, 100%. Kids can be amazing. Guys often are ... interferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:22 AM
102

What is your plan if you have the kids and he reneges on his obligations then? I’m not trying to be difficult, but I have seen a lot of guys count on this set of promises and the intense bonding hormones of birth to ensure that they can back out and you will be tethered to them by custody.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:03 AM
25

I read somewhere once that the more satisfying sex a woman has, the more our drive increases (which makes sense - to be satisfying, a partner would have to know what makes us orgasm and care enough to do it, which means they’re a better bet for a reproductive partner as well, which more sex stands a chance of doing). The less /less satisfying, the more a woman’s sex drive declines. And our drives are typically cyclical, which means they peak with ovulation and declines to varying degrees the oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:33 PM
36

Women could always have sex with as many men as they wanted. The difference was that men would k.1l1 them or cut them off from economic security so they would be forced into prostitut.10n or destitution through “spinsterhood.” What men really are saying is, “we will treat you less badly than our forefathers did if you sleep with more men.” And they’re not saying that out of the kind cockles of their icy little hearts. They’re saying that because our foremothers said “NO” and withheld home manage…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:29 PM
6

🤣🤣🤣 “I’M THIRTY-ONE!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:55 PM
14

This belongs here: “Deadbeat” by Tiny Meat Gang https://open.spotify.com/track/3RfOPELnGeEWdrUgfcnG8C
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:59 AM
6

Congratulations!! Now a big dog and good dog sitter for the travel time, and you’re all set!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:37 PM
77

Police now have access to Ring doorbell video in some states, so keep that in mind if you date cops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:36 PM
128

Basic facts. (And major rage points.) I’m no longer available for any convos about reproductive legislation or regulation that don’t start with this statement. The reality is that men are the vectors of pregnancy. Women can’t bring men into their lives without the risk of sex. Work, home, companionship, anything - men will eventually introduce sex as a gate-keeping requirement. That’s men’s fault, entirely (as other men engage with them in all of those fields and- if both are straight - sex neve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:35 PM
33

Everything patriarchal is about power and control. Sex, money, kids, all of it ... just different terms for power and control. I do believe that all men are inherently wired for hierarchy in a way that we women just are not. HV, LV, NV... doesn’t matter when it comes to this. Never, ever forget that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:38 PM
6

Marriage. Sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:07 PM
153

One of my all-time favorite quotes!!! I will say, even in a feminist forum full of male “allies,” this is the one quote that every man, always, zero exceptions, gets very twitchy about. Always. It’s also one of the few quotes I can post in a non feminist forum (I shared it in a quiverful group once) and get the majority of women immediately nodding or agreeing with it. Gospel truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 05:19 PM
3

This. We recently met a lovely young man who was thoughtful, empathetic and supported his female family members (his sister started a yoga class and he attends every session for now, which has brought more paying female customers for her). He’s kind and reads the room. He’s a cutie. He’s employed in a field where he will always be middle class and have to budget. He has all the traits of a HVM from what I’ve seen and I’ve made sure to get him in the room (or the BBQ) with as many HVW his age as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 01:32 AM
57

If he’s an abuser, then she is a POW. Many of the same tactics (sleep deprivation, forced teaming, etc.) likely are part of her daily life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:20 PM
28

Wifework by Susan Maushart...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:17 PM
89

I’ve seen this so often. Abuse causes physical harm - most women leaving abusers have autoimmune disease and memory loss patterns, in addition to the more superficial losses, like aging looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:17 PM
46

Yes. Every straight woman should read Wifework by Susan Maushart. Marriage increases women’s workload exponentially without providing much benefit in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:16 PM
8

Yes, I feel the same. I assume most physical rules are either vetting factors or guidelines to ensure a relationship benefits both parties. There’s always room to balance the cons with pros. They’re not necessarily meant to be dealbreakers with people who you know love and support you long-term.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:13 PM
29

Meh, she’s from a completely different generation, when managing to keep your employment after you married was the main feminist issue. She’s seen a world where she couldn’t go buy her own house or land or open her own bank account - a man has to sign for it. When she says penis size doesn’t matter, she may be speaking for herself or her generation - not because it doesn’t matter, but because sexual satisfaction is at a different place on the Maslow hierarchy of needs than basic economic securit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:32 PM
25

She talks about this in her book, “How to Get Whatever You Want Out of Life.” She made up her mind to get the cash (her family needed it) and made it happen. Admirable gal!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:03 PM
1

It’s epic, no doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:28 PM
6

You won’t tho. 🤷🏼‍♀️ you won’t die alone. You’ll die surrounded by the same people who would have been there if you had married a LVM - your dear girl friends, (at least some of) your kids, the women and caretakers of your community. Marrying a LVM doesn’t add a lot of value to your emotional life - hence the label.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:59 PM
30

Tbh, they’d have died alone anyway. COVID just gave the LVHs a solid excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:57 PM
3

Oh yeah, lol. It definitely comes in swinging. The first season was fascinating because it had a morally flawed heroine without resorting to the usual tropes (killed, punished, isolated, or reformed by recentering her focus on one of the male characters). But I’d recommend starting with the second season. The storytelling hits its stride and the show focuses on the main character’s family relationships (especially with her sister) which is where PWB shines. Killing Eve season 1 was also written …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:40 PM
22

I feel this. My watch list these days is mostly Phoebe Waller Bridge and Scandinavian tv. Miranda was pretty good. Fictional stuff worth watching is hard to come by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:06 PM
9

YES!!! Totally agree. It’s not exaggerating to say that it saved my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:39 PM
16

Oh man, I also deal with the endless train of weaponized women /affair partners still, from a marriage that ended decades ago. It’s both frustrating and also ... you know they’re going to get so much more than they even deserve. 🤷🏽‍♀️. It’s so stressful to watch tho - I feel you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:31 PM
33

I found his group’s approach life giving to see - they call the batterer’s target and get her perspective on what happened and what the abuser is doing. Once that happens, the endless lies and twisted truths that the abuser says in group become transparent (if you’re willing to believe a woman’s word over a man’s), and their “castle of lies” is toppled easily, whether the man reforms or not. It’s amazing how much suffering comes from someone’s resistance to believe women’s accounts of their own …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:30 PM
26

Bancroft’s books are absolutely amazing. His other book “When Dad Hurts Mom” is an amazing resource for women trapped in bad situations as well. “The Batterer as Parent” - also Lundy - should be mandatory reading for everyone who works in the family law or custody systems or who counsels people in them. Wifework, by Susan Maushart, dives deeply into the division of labor and helps separate the abusive-man behaviors from the traditional-labor-division-in-marriage behaviors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:24 PM
11

Can second. HVM seem to either ignore FDS or occasionally scan for insights. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:59 PM
29

Gospel. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I love every word. Quadruple points on single moms having stronger support networks. I remember being shamed constantly for things that were either positives (a house, strong family ties, a strong network of friends, a solid career) or simply normal/common for women of that age to have (kids, a lot of dietary restrictions and time investment in maintaining the physical look I prefer, etc.)... and it always puzzled me. Do you want a woman my age who doesnt have or do these things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:53 PM
54

Tbh, having dated in a world where men paying was pretty normal (plenty of other issues tho), that response shocked me and it scares me for the younger women I know. This is not a battle that we should have to fight. It’s pretty self explanatory that women don’t pizza-deliver p**sy to a strange man’s front door and I’m not sure how we all got here. FDS isn’t that shocking and men reacting like it is ... I just don’t have words sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:51 PM
28

When FDS writes its Handbook for Scrotes, this needs to be the title, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:47 PM
169

Right? It doesn’t even look like an orgasm. Have these dudes ever seen one? I died during the movie “I am not an easy man” - the main protagonist hooks up with a woman who does the full seizure orgasm and then immediately falls asleep and leaves him hanging (after first rejecting him for having body hair) .... it’s hilarious when the genders are reversed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:16 PM
121

I will never be able to make eye contact with a zoo walrus again. 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:14 PM
5

Absolutely. If men can get us to squabble with each other and navel gaze, they get off the hook. That’s why I always hesitate with an libfem focus. They ain’t great, but libfems also aren’t the reason we’re here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:27 PM
11

Being female and financially well-off makes you an absolute beacon for major predators - smooth, psychopathic Predators with fantastic skills. Not just LVM, but negative value men. You need an entirely different set of both financial skills and social skills to manage if you are female and financially flush and it’s visible in your lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:12 PM
24

I agree. Hijabs are a special irritant of mine, but despite my personal experiences with them, I can’t seem to discuss them with anyone. Everyone is either “her choice!” or full of hate for women who wear them. And neither is a productive conversation. They’re not feminist - nothing about physical modesty requirements in any religion is feminist, ever. As my favorite blog post says, “by even accepting modesty as a valid area of concern for women, you have accepted a premise that defines women by…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:48 PM
10

The societal and systemic prioritization of the male life experience, perspective, health, financial security, safety, parental rights, and justice over those things for women is the curse. It’s also what we are fighting to remove. Libfem is female accommodation of the cognitive dissonance that comes with realizing that you love someone who lives in your home, occasionally treats you kindly, and who benefits from your suffering. It’s a dark, ugly, nasty realization and most women dance around in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:36 PM
3

That’s cracking me up! 🤣 my best friend ever js ES, and I absolutely hate a lot of the stuff she loves and 🤷🏼‍♀️... variety makes the world go round!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:36 PM
2

Yeah he admits to being a pedo, supports it as natural, states that it can be an enriching experience for the kids, etc. he hated mothers - not women, but moms- and sadly his theory was to some extent espoused by US, UK and Australian custody courts for many years. Really terrifying. You can google Richard Gardner pedophile for a plethora of stuff or the book “worst interests of the child” by Keith Harmon Snow dives into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:01 PM
5

I think a lot of us have absorbed the libfem idea that “leveling up” involves increasing our own desireability to guys on some level. It takes time to decentralize the male gaze as the arbiter of female success, even for women who want to do so. Hopefully these commenters are just in-progress on that front.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 11:59 AM
7

Gardner literally came up with a whole parental alienation theory that says moms report pedophiles because they’re jealous that their kids are getting the man’s sexual attention that they want for themselves. Men’s sexual egos are just ... unfathomable. All of them, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:20 PM
4

That does work really well. Excellent advice!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:17 PM
29

Yeah, there is an interesting demographic that comes hard for hot men when his partner is right there. I’m not sure what’s going on with that nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:15 PM
18

Let us know how hard the lurkers downvote this one. 🤣 (ps - I agree with all of it.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:14 PM
6

I love how you’ve put this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:07 PM
2

That’s true - if you stay long enough, you’ll end up getting downvoted on everything because of hate followers. 🤷🏼‍♀️ no biggie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:59 PM
18

Oh lawd. Yes. I cannot. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:55 PM
19

I have experience with both pressures and I think you’re onto something. Not insensitive at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:54 PM
12

Her post is pretty basic radfem theory. Extremely standard. I get that a lot of comments don’t agree, but it’s a bit odd to see so many folks in a radfem forum who are shocked by such a common, basic, long-lived, much explored feminist theory. I’m a bit shook, tbh. OP’s stance is not at all controversial or new in the radfem space, where it is an extremely popular viewpoint (which is why the tiktok trend among people touting radfem views was surprising).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:47 PM
7

Excellent connection- I think this is exactly what we are all talking about here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:24 PM
11

Oh, yes. I was in my 40s before I ever left my own house without a full face of makeup. It simply is not done in many parts of the US, unless you are homeless or struggling with addiction. You are absolutely a slave to your makeup every single solitary morning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:23 PM
5

Some men like the trappings of toxic masculinity a lot too. It doesn’t make them horrible people in every case.... but it still lessens their potential and self awareness. And their lives will achieve less because of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:21 PM
19

I like this. Face painting will always be with us. The issue isn’t so much makeup (war paint, ceremonial paint, etc... it’s always been around) - it’s that culturally, today, women are penalized in a million small but meaningful ways if we don’t paint a fake face over our real face before we enter the public sphere in a female body. That’s bad in a million small ways - the cost of the paint, the time to paint the paint onto our face, the constant self-checking in public to make sure the paint ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:18 PM
10

It can! Of course. So many things can be art. Painting ones face so the painted object is treated better or so their words are given more value isn’t really the art version of painting/makeup, though. (I do wear makeup, I’m not judging that, just pointing out that doing something well that you have to do for all the wrong reasons ... is an accommodation to toxicity, not an outlet that challenges your culture and expresses your unique creative offering to your art’s consumers).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:11 PM
14

That’s why I always wore/wear it too. Which raises the question, why do I have to paint a face over my real face to be treated with more respect? Why don’t men have to do the same?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:08 PM
4

I don’t think the critics of the actions / reasons behind them are critics of you. I’m a raging jewelry addict. I own more earrings than I should and that money would be better in real estate. None of us are critiquing from a place of flawless perfection- we are all products of the air we’ve been breathing since birth and have learned to find our own joy in our circumstances. That doesn’t mean it’s good for us, but it also doesn’t make us bad people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:30 PM
3

FJ and NT groups trend toward the toxic and ES groups are seemingly endless butt selfie posts. 🤣 they all get a bit old after awhile, I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:07 PM
12

It sounds like you and I are in the exact same demographic and I’ve had the exact same reaction to the exact same thing. Historically it is common for suppressed groups that gain some public power to face an increased burden to “perform” their prior (more oppressed) roles while simultaneously enjoying their newly gained freedoms ... there are a lot of theories as to why, but regardless of the why, I assume that’s what we are seeing here. I also notice a sort of black or white “splitting” in our …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:31 PM
5

It really is, isn’t it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:08 AM
5

It seriously made my night! I’m sitting here trying to figure out what I can say without ruining an anonymous FDS account, lol!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:06 AM
5

It is. Usually cool gals claim the label, but really unhealthy guys also fall under NT in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 10:02 PM
6

That’s so true and a great point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:47 PM
26

They’re all jerks, tbh, if they lead with this and its kind of a red flag. Most MBTI statements in the wild seem to be flags from what I’ve seen. The actual (most likely) ENTPs I’ve met just seem like severe ADD suffers who enjoy a good joke and can’t pick a path. They’d all grab coffee with literally anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:22 PM
3

I absolutely love it!! That’s amazing - you’re so lucky!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:20 PM
4

Oh man!!! Friesians are absolutely beyond!!! I only have hands on experience with Belgians, but outside of drafts, love Andalusians which are being crossed with Friesians now - check them out if you haven’t. Some of the most gorgeous babies I’ve seen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:13 PM
14

They’re also such sweethearts. Hard workers, strong, and gentle. I’m guessing he is ... none of those things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:02 PM
59

I’m dead. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Why do guys put MBTI in their profiles? No actual ENTP lists their type. Also we all know it’s just code for sad boys who worship The Joker (I.e. think they’re cool psychopaths).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:01 PM
60

Omg, this book should be mandatory reading for every engaged woman on the planet. I’m so excited to see it mentioned here!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:54 PM
23

Oh man. Sis, your inbox is about to BLOW UP with the scent of badly singed scrotum pubes. Every word of your post is true, tho. And if I may add, once the older, age-appropriate gals have seen him take a swing at women who could be our (or his) daughters, we don’t want him either. Can’t come back from the pedo creep, boys. You did it to yourself. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:43 PM
23

Honestly, she could have imitated her own husband or Steve Jobs and worn basically the same uniform daily and it only would have freed her time and mentally energy to do more amazing things with her time and life. 🤷🏼‍♀️. I enjoy playing with fashion as much as the next girl, but its definitely not as powerful a tool as we are incessantly told. And when you have someone like Michelle, who comes from average middle class roots and aces life on every imaginable level, asking her about fashion is su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:05 PM
35

Wow, this really singed some scrotals!!! I’m getting all sorts of attempts over this one. What a fun day. 🤣 A huge thanks to our amazing mods for being the kind of firewall that most security centers only dream of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 07:36 PM
57

MLK really was an inspiring orator, but just imagine what he could have accomplished with a 32-step skin care regime and some red-bottomed heels!!! [major sarcasm, just in case that’s not coming through for anyone]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:27 PM
93

Omg, this. Her educational and professional record alone is absolutely jaw-dropping. How we didn’t have her handling international relations more is beyond me. Who cares what her dresses look like?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:12 PM
46

True. I agree. I just want to live in a world where that doesn’t really matter. Like men do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:10 PM
208

I think when it comes to women we use “she’s beautiful” as a catch all, because beauty is indirect power that needs men with actual power to grant their real power to it for it to channel anything through. Its not threatening to anyone who isn’t also a woman forced to compete in the trenches of “beauty” in hopes of being granted options and choices for her looks. It’s much less threatening and rather a pat on the head to call a woman beautiful than it is to say, “She has actual power.” Or “she h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:15 PM
93

Yes. But it’s okay to be ugly too. It doesn’t erase a woman’s worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 03:56 PM
2

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 03:21 PM
3

The longer he sticks around, the worse it will get! He will figure it out eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:45 PM
919

The only way a mediocre man can bat out of his league, sexually, is to find a woman who deeply underestimates her own worth. So of course, men want us to think we are less than we are!!! Also, the standard gentle reminder from an old broad that your beauty is not the final or only arbiter of your worth. Some women have changed the world for us all and been rather ugly every second of it. They’re wildly valuable, intelligent, clever women and I’d give a lot to have dinner with them and pick their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:56 PM
5

I see these pop up periodically. The good man project comes to mind. You also have a surplus of groups that try to seem like they’re doing this and helping men be good husbands, but will a little digging, you end up right back in the whole male domination, women as subservient domestics mindset (promise keepers comes to mind). I agree tho, these groups should be a million times more plentiful than they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:51 PM
2

I shrieked. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 LOVE IT. Triple points if you can segue into how your grandfather melted down the last time he and grandma visited and they forgot to bring their Metamucil. Aging seems like a trip!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:03 PM
8

Aww thank you! I’m just old enough to remember when going to HR for harassment/drugging/rape by a male colleague would get you fired (and blacklisted if your industry allowed for it). Going in for a guy hitting on you would have gotten you laughed out of the office. We had a pretty solid portfolio of ways to make them feel gross and depressed without them ever really being able to say we said something mean or got upset or didn’t like them. I’m sooooooo thankful to see places emerging where wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:58 PM
18

That’s true, but that’s not age discrimination if you find incest disgusting. So you’re not going to get in trouble for rejecting a man because he’s like your dad or you are like his daughter. You’re just creating plausible deniability (and making him seem even grosser to anyone else standing around). It’s also less aggressive than just vomiting on his shoes and calling him names (as satisfying as that would be), so instead of retaliation, he usually seems to simply absorb that talking to you ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:00 PM
79

Oh! Also, if he’s older and being a creep, always ask if he has kids. If he has a daughter, ask how old she is. Then everything he says about you, “oh, is that what your daughter did? Is that what your daughter asked for? I bet you say that to your daughter all the time.” Incest is still socially taboo enough that guys will stumble around if they have to switch between parent mode and skeeze mode and it lets you take control of the conversation more easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:47 PM
2

Good luck! Maybe it’s become less of a cultural taboo (fingers crossed!). I just remember having a completely separate world for when I had kiddo and when they were at dads - like separate church, separate gym, everything.... being a mom and then kind of free from kids on a consistent recurring basis for a day or three every week seemed to trigger so many people. Maybe it was regional? It freaked me out pretty badly at the time. Hopefully the world has changed for the better since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:43 PM
69

You can always make a face like you just smelled a fart and ask, “ummmm. How old are you?” And then just widen your eyes in horror and walk away. You can’t quote a facial expression, as my mom always said. So they’re safe, even in a work environment. (Obviously don’t ask their age if you’re interviewing them for a job.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:29 PM
105

This is my favorite. Then when they squirm, the old “I don’t get it. “Can you explain it to me?” “I still don’t get it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:27 PM
82

Omg!!! You’re so cute!!! My granddad does that too. Did you hear about the voluntary retirement whispers? How must that feel? Do you know what you’ll do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:27 PM
114

Condescending comment. “Why?” Poker face while they respond. “Oh. I thought you had some insight into this years bonuses. Did you hear about [the guy in the office he hates most]? What did he do right? I heard he’s killing it this quarter!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:25 PM
607

The most effective response that I landed on back in the day is, “oh fun, my dad does that!” Him: “I ride my bike every weekend.” Oh fun, my dad does that. Him: “man, when I was younger...” haha, my dad says that all the time. Him: “man that was wild!” Haha you sound just like my dad! Him: “what do you say we...” omg, you remind me of my dad! He always does those things with his eyebrows and my mom is all, “honey, your face is talking when it’s not talking again haha!” I bet your wife says that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:23 PM
23

Agree. Wine is a numbing agent. It may not be the problem but daily use can mean it’s being used as the bandaid for the real problem. I see a lot of friends use it to numb the anger they’d otherwise show at a lot of the issues we talk about here ... it allows them to stay calm and be “not really a feminist, dear.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:02 PM
44

There’s a lot of conflating motherhood with marriage to LVM. And I don’t agree with it, tbh. Personally, I absolutely love motherhood and find it largely rewarding. Skipping it is a valid choice that every woman should have access to - kids are a lot, but they aren’t exploitative and they do love you (at least pre-teen). They do reduce mobility and they do cost a lot of cash and they do mean less sleep. No judgment if that’s not your thing and you have the self-awareness to call it. But I’d like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:57 PM
11

So did I 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:53 PM
2

He doesn’t mind being seen as less than or beneath you if you’re being wound around his finger. Duping people brought him more joy than being superior to them .... I suspect he was more antisocial than narcissistic, but yes. It’s a whole different vetting list with those types. Scary stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:50 PM
8

She truly is amazing. And still going!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:28 PM
38

That’s classic Gloria Steinham, sis!!!! ❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:32 AM
19

Wow, that was today’s depressing read. Jesus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:42 AM
3

I wish I could hug you through the internet! ❤️❤️❤️ from this stranger/mom, at least, please know I wish you all the love and healing and success that life has to give. Someone did love you enough to carry and nurture you for 9 months and to give you life. You are infinitely valuable and your loss of the mother who would remind you of that is absolutely immense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:27 AM
4

Every guy thinks their own preferences apply to all men. And they’re all wrong, tbh. There’s some bizarre book out there on how to hook a psychopath called something like “men don’t love women like you” and it’s basically a psychopath telling you what to do to hook him (temporarily). And like, he’s not wrong. he just presents it as what works on all guys and it’s not going to work on all guys ... even basic guys at some point are going to go, “hold up....” and on a rare guy who has solid charact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:37 PM
4

Can you line up a night nanny now? I had a kiddo who didn’t sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch until he was about 15 months old. I was hallucinating (I was married, but his dad was ... well, you’re here, you’ve heard similar stories). A night nanny would have been a life changer. Remote work is the key to motherhood if you’re in need of income. Flex jobs only lists remote work. Tech is a great field for mom - the dude stuff gets old, but you’ll adjust and be strategic and do just fine. And CON…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:30 PM
8

I’m so sorry. You deserved more. Stats show double the risk of teen suicide, substance abuse, delinquency and criminal record, lifetime depression, etc when a mother exits the picture. Even compared to dad+ stepmom, the risk is halved by having just a solo imperfect single biomom in the picture. We don’t societally like to acknowledge the immense risk and damage that lack of a biological mother’s presence presents for children. It’s multiple times greater than that presented by the absence of a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:23 PM
8

Yeah single motherhood is a billion quadrillion times easier than a shit marriage if you have a decent income and a solid support system. I speak from experience. I think society compares the worst single mom conditions (impoverished, hunted, sick and totally isolated) to a functional, supportive, mature, connected, healthy marriage. And yeah, zero comparison, obviously. But most marriages aren’t that great - even the “non-abusive” marriages I see seem to be working my friends into the absolute …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:13 PM
5

You are amazing and likely have an absolute wealth of life advice that would benefit younger generations!!! ❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:10 PM
5

Have you had any random women come for your throat if you leave the house when kiddo is out at dads? I remember that being a weird trend back in the day ... if I could stay calm and get them talking, they were always moms of horrible men who were on their second or fifth “party girl druggie monster mom” wives. Their sons stories were littered with all the batterer red flags, but of course the ex wife was a vicious monster whose kids should be taken away. Really fascinating dynamic, but also ... …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:05 PM
9

Honestly good for him for coming in loud and strong. It helps moms keep their precious babies safe and far away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:03 PM
3

Entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:02 PM
8

That’s what stands out to me. Just sharing my daily encounters with other women usually ends up triggering some fuzzy chinned Cheeto addict every where else on the internet. It’s amazing to come here and just be able to breathe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:02 PM
18

Love it. She looks like a supermodel, did he expect to show up with low standards even by his own scrote logic? Insanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:06 PM
11

The men film the women working out. They follow you. They interrupt your HIIT to try to chat. Gyms don’t stop them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:45 PM
6

I’m sorry for that experience and glad you’re alive and out of there! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:59 PM
5

Well, if we are isolating to work ethic, then you and I are completely aligned. I agree that’s the best way to go if you’re looking for someone hardworking and unentitled economically. I’m thinking more around gender role entitlement and that’s not a gamble I’d encourage women to take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:51 PM
1

I’m on Spotify. I don’t like the Apple podcast data policy. Thanks tho- I’ll find it eventually!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:50 PM
7

A lot of women leaving batterers or coercive controllers have substance abuse issues. They’ve been living in a war zone for years and have either numbed the stress or are encouraged to drug up to make them more submissive and less likely to leave. The abusers then use this against them in custody court to take their kids away. It’s a very common scenario. When I was single between marriages, I didn’t date men with sole custody and I didn’t date men with struggling, debased or addicted ex wives. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:45 PM
7

I’ve seen this over and over and over again. It’s a super common scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:39 PM
10

I respond as i would as if there were no trauma. Breakups were because we grew apart or liked different hobbies or got jobs in different cities. I’m neither close friends nor estranged enemies from any exes. I have acquaintances and friends still around from every community I’ve belonged to over the years, including my pre-K classmates. I don’t have any major phobias aside from a huge fear of geese (or azaleas or orange Jeep’s - pick one weird random thing so if he starts trying to “accidentally…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:34 PM
35

Yeah, sis, it was her furniture. Ask him where he bought each piece he mentions. Watch him struggle. It scares me that this post describes five men I can immediately name right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:24 PM
12

Yep. And assume she has a good reason. Does crazy girlfriend know she’s an ex and he’s single or is that a special secret that he’s treasuring in his own heart? Is she a psychotic bitch stalking his new dates or is she pregnant and stuck with him until the baby is born and she can divorce? Did she cheat, or did she flirt with a guy at work to make him jealous after he cheated on her the first time? Is she mad about the date with you or the syphillis he just gave her after promising he’d change i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:13 PM
25

It’s a comforting theory but i have never witnessed a man fully shed the misogynistic culture that engulfed him during his formative years sexually/puberty. I’ve met men who can fake it well, but never one who has changed. Please be very careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:04 PM
27

Excellent comment- so much truth!! I see this so often and it’s heartbreaking to watch the light fade from these women’s eyes over the years. Be a truffle hunter, ladies!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:59 PM
49

I think everyone’s social skills are super rusty after the past year, so I’m seeing weird stuff and oddly aggressive bs from everyone everywhere. That said, guys seem to be leading, as usual, with the sexual side of things. It hasn’t been racially unique or isolated to one race in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:54 PM
1

Which episode? I’m enjoying this but I wanna hear the specific savagery.,. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:42 PM
6

Plenty of ectomorph men make the most of what they have and seem to do just fine with women (my roommates in school always liked the scrawny look, it seemed like 🤷🏼‍♀️). Incel is a nasty attitude and a choice. No excuse for it. Be healthy and dress decently and these guys will do just fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:22 PM
12

Time for a freedom celebration party!!!! 🎉🍾🎈🎊 Congratulations, sis!!! Here’s to better days and better men ahead!! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:18 PM
20

I mean, if you start to mess up the cooking and his laundry, most men become pretty handy pretty fast. Something about wearing pink shirts to work activates the dry-cleaner-pickup gene. I really hope we see more scientists study this effect in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:59 PM
21

I don’t have a free award today, but if I did, it would be yours. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:57 PM
12

These threads have made me shoot my morning coffee up my nose more times than I can count. Clearly, there are women - probably the best suited to manage the craziness of a blended family situation- who would totally be open to dating them. And they’re omitting this exact crowd from the entire definition of the word “women.” They should just tattoo “I love porn” on their foreheads and be done. It is HILARIOUS!!! ETA: I dont know who coined it, but “snatching defeat from the jaws of victory” is a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:36 PM
9

He did, but he looked very HV in most ways - all the superficial stuff (home decor and cleanliness, job and income, financial responsibility, adult social circle, fitness, travel, etc.) were spot on. He was a catch and had a cloud of eager beaver gals and their moms hovering everywhere he went. The flags were small - Sandra l brown captures a few, Evan stark captures a few, Lundy Bancroft (who Id already read) captures a few in “when dad hurts mom.” Basically they were a lack of empathy that eme…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:28 PM
85

I think it plays into it, I think their male peers’ envy is a huge motivator, and I honestly don’t think they can get or keep a lot of the older women they might be attracted to, even if they wanted that. And I think walking away in the face of disrespect is ageless! It’s the little black dress of dating - always appropriate. You’ve got this. 💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:14 AM
10

It’s because it challenges their fantasy of us wanting only these unrealistic men who don’t exist. If our standards mean we never like any man ever, the problem is us. If our standards just mean we like better men than they are (and these better men actually exist), the problem is their inadequacy. And that has to hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:24 AM
4

This is the fanfic that I’m here for. 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:19 AM
43

Yep. Same. I think this is a smart thing for women to screen for when they enter a relationship. A man’s choices with his own sexuality tell you volumes about who he truly is at a soul level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:03 AM
59

I remember always seeing posts by dads in single parent groups about how they were shocked that women didn’t want to date single dads! Where was this train of willing, hot, young women who loved their soft dad side? A few comments in they’d continue that no one wanted them, only single moms. Only other women in their exact same position would give them the time of day, and it was like being celibate, y’all!!! tears 🤣🙄🤣🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:58 AM
7

Every word is truth, OP. Excellent insights!!! 👏🏻❤️👏🏻❤️👏🏻❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:55 AM
7

Yeah this is nonsense. Mesomorph men lift heavy twice a week (or once a week), skip sugar and booze, and have arms and shoulders like a GI Joe within a couple months. (The downside is if they don’t lift, things all go downhill FAST, lol.). I’ve got a soft spot for the look/build so my entire love life is something of a study and I can promise that it’s the ectomorphs driving the steroid convos on most of the forums.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:19 AM
21

Having seen so many men share porn with their friends that resembles the man’s pubescent daughters has ... yeah. No. At least look at women their mother’s age, even if that’s the “type” you go for. We don’t need a moral high ground. Pornsick scrotes are wallowing at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. We literally cannot do worse at this point - we lack the tools and experience to match their depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:13 AM
137

Oh man, it’s like they all follow the same textbook! Just book and travel solo and watch them come around so fast. There are so many women’s solo travel groups now that it’s easy to connect with others who actually want to go or meet you at the location.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:01 AM
81

This. ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:55 AM
126

C://Do not sleep with any one but [name]. Guys: “sooo, Like, I just call everyone “babe” so I won’t accidentally call the wife by the sidepiece name...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:55 AM
307

Yeah. I feel like women hit a switch somewhere in their late 30s to mid 40s where this usually quits happening. And once you realize that just walking away suddenly awakens his miraculous awareness of exactly what he’s doing wrong and how to fix it without you saying a word ... it’s hard to take men all that seriously ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:51 AM
19

Yes!!! This is the hardest mental adjustment to make but it’s absolutely life changing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:10 AM
1

That’s women staying permanently the same throughout their entire life? I’d always taken those posts as exactly the evidence of a phase. Maybe one that lasts years, but I don’t meet as many elderly gals who are hardcore pickmes as I do 20-year-olds who are pickmes (or just vicious NLOGS). And that’s despite the dramatically different worlds they grew up in. That leads me to believe that many women do phase out of male-centered mindsets as they mature and gain experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:05 AM
3

Fun, isn’t it? 🤣😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:01 AM
3

Do they? In today’s culture? Interested in the stats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:54 PM
1

You ESCAPED!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS, WARRIOR ❤️ Recovery can be tough and a little slow, once the initial adrenaline wears off - sending all the love and compassion and time you need. Enjoy the first of many amazing vacays and the broad, beautiful, expansive horizons of your new life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:54 PM
2

The hatred of women takes on so many forms, and is so ubiquitous. She is a warrior. ❤️ Rukmini Callimachi produced a riveting podcast called Caliphate in which she asks about these atrocities. Definitely worth a listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:45 PM
44

My first husband pulled his weight from day one. When I was pregnant, he quit pulling any weight. He also escalated to verbal abuse and financial abuse. There are no guarantees- always be able to leave. But yes, if anyone is doing this stuff early on, yeet him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:42 PM
6

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you for this. Absolutely agree!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:29 PM
1

I agree. That aspect does make me uncomfortable with a lot of discussions here and elsewhere around pickmes and NLOGS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:28 PM
6

Or they’re psychopaths in their own right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:27 PM
3

This. I think you’ve nailed it. He probably was racing a deadline in to get the reservations. Way too violent a response. Not a safe person to have around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:20 PM
6

You can go to the court files for the county in which he divorced and see some things - at the very least, you’ll see who filed first. At the most, you’ll see big chunks of his final orders and how much he owes in child support as well as how much visitation he’s skipping on to be available for your date. 😉🤨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:15 PM
3

That whole thing is a dumpster fire. If you want more, literally any stepparent page or subreddit will amp that by a billion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:12 PM
1

Did she pay you back for your legal fees? 🙄🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:11 PM
2

That really does shock me, but there’s someone daily wanting to drag everyone into court over her boyfriend’s kids. It’s max cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:10 PM
3

Alternatively, men who go for sole custody of their kids are more likely to be batterers or coercive controllers. So if a guy has sole custody of his children and/or an ex who lost custody due to addiction (most women leaving abusers are using something as a numbing agent and their partner is usually the provider), that’s also a massive red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:08 PM
6

They model their dads - teen boys go through a phase where dad is god, the epitome of masculinity. If dad doesn’t do “bitch work,” you’re not going to have any luck getting your teen sons to clean the house either. Otoh, if dad is a good partner who holds up his end (or if you live alone and run your own house), those barriers aren’t there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:01 PM
48

Pickme is a phase not an identity. She’s hurting...she will get there eventually. You’re totally right, tho, it’s not your circus and these aren’t your monkeys. Next!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:23 PM
10

“And womanhood isn’t even inhabited, not really. Womanhood is a “land without a people,” because women aren’t viewed as people. We’re an open space for men to define.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:16 PM
42

You were in the right. She will do whatever she does, but you can know that she’s coming from a place of truth with it, and that’s thanks to you. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:08 PM
18

A gentle note that Caya has an easy fit diaphragm that’s non hormonal. Your gyno calls the RX into the pharmacy and you pick up. Most major chains carry it, the smaller pharmacies can order it, and a lot of insurers will cover the cost in full. I’m surprised and alarmed by the lack of viable, non-invasive, non-hormonal birth control options. This is a great option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:47 PM
50

This infuriates me because men get to skip the pill due to “side effects.” Women get crucifixion scars on a major limb, but are expected to soldier through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:43 PM
2

Given the immense number of humans I’ve witnessed do exactly what you say in the last paragraph, I think this post vastly overestimated the emotional IQ and gender awareness of greater Society. I absolutely agree with every word, tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:23 AM
10

I think it’s still true tbh. Men will reach as far as they think they can go ... that’s pretty true for HVM in their own way as well. They always have and always will sleep with literally all types of bodies. When they “have standards,”’know that those standards are largely pretend and for show. Whatever. When they put conditions on marriage, know that all it takes for those conditions to change is for their friends and male idols to express a desire to sleep with those body types. It’s an exter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:11 AM
36

This is true. I had an amazing dad, HV brothers, and largely very useful men all across my large extended family (which produces a lot of anti-feminists, tbh) and married a man who seemed equally HV (and was proud of my standards and the result). He turned out to be a wildly savvy psychopath, like something out of a movie. Random poisoning, nomination of me for a women’s leader award, strangling me into unconsciousness, him getting appointed to lead the corporate women’s diversity initiative glo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:50 PM
18

They do. If you’re in front of them, assume they will expect you to be on your knees, eye level with their genitals at some point in the near future. Guys who can step out of this bizarre hierarchy obsession for a short time are rare, usually HV, and - in my experience - well... endowed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:11 PM
4

Having worked with this population for awhile now, I see a lot of signs. I’m a big proponent of recognizing all the small, constant ways that women resist their abuse. They all fight back, always, in my experience. (A good analogy is to look at racial equality - it’s ahead of gender equality in the US, but follows a similar trajectory. You have accusations of “Uncle Tom” but also - if you really look at the facts today and assume full personhood of an individual trapped in a world that didn’t as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:08 PM
5

You can’t divorce someone immediately. It requires a legal retainer (thousands of dollars) and custody decision. Many states today require even very small breastfeeding infants to visit fathers overnight starting as young as 2 weeks after birth, so if mom leaves, she may be required to both feed during her time, pump enough to send to dads during his visitation, and also return to work post maternity leave (if she’s working during pregnancy, when a woman’s risk of being fired increases). That al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:53 PM
4

If she were truly fine with it, would she be posting it in the thread that she posted in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:00 PM
10

This is a spouse problem. If she were the sole parent, she’d make the rules for her house and her kids. Want WiFi password? Load and run the dishwasher first. Want to go hang with your friends this weekend? You know we vacuum every evening - it’s already done, right? Kids are trainable if you start young. It’s not impossible to have a fairly presentable house when you’re the one running it. Everyone gets an age-appropriate set of daily chores (5-20 minutes a day) and one once-a-week chore that t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 05:28 PM
13

There’s not always a place to go when the kiddo is hungry. When they want to eat, they want to eat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 05:23 PM
18

Male colonization of female spaces (“gender colonialism”) is probably going to get you the most google results - there’s some good stuff out there in the feminists space on the topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 05:03 PM
15

What’s she going to do while she’s literally in labor? She’s fine. She’s worrying about not dying and having the baby she’s carried for almost a year not die either. He’s the problem and I’m sure she will yeet his jizz-smeared butt as soon as she’s gotten healed up and past the horrific sleep deprivation of that first newborn year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:52 PM
10

But some animals are monogamous, tho. They don’t feel a bond there? 🤣🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:48 PM
13

I don’t know if men just don’t have much selection capacity or if they don’t develop what they have (women develop it out of necessity- we don’t want ourselves or our offspring to get murdered). But even HVM seem to have flat, non-nuanced selectors like: benefits me in some way, pretty (to me or others), not a shrieking banshee. And that’s kind of it. The more nuance you push for, the weirder and more contradictory the list gets. I think most men honestly do not know - there’s no built in sense …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:35 PM
60

That’s not feminization... it’s myopic entitlement. It’s males colonizing the female life experience. They’re not being feminized. They are moving into the female space and demanding that it center on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:31 PM
41

Spiders and praying mantises murder their male mates. Male seahorses have to carry part of the pregnancy. These guys may want to rethink this stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:25 PM
131

Yep. Men are incredibly sensitive to power dynamics and hierarchy. When you see someone (female, male, animal, etc.) that’s dominating them in some way, you’ll almost always see men launching endless challenges in an attempt to get the top spot in that power dynamic. At work, at home, wandering around a park- pay attention to power dynamics and men. You’ll find that 9 out of 10 guys instantly and subtly go for a power position /statement/plan/etc. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. So it’s not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:21 PM
117

I feel like this was pretty standard knowledge a couple generations ago. This new trend of girls sending nudes and dancing online to attract men shocked my socks off.... I don’t know what happened to the generational guides in which older women remind you that honestly just showing up is plenty in your 20s. We are all insecure in our teens and twenties and older generations have always been there to say, “Holup and show up and you’ll get there with the opposite sex eventually. That’s more than e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:16 PM
33

I hope you have an auto response linking them to the scientific studies on aging sperm. Starting at age 35.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:13 PM
5

No. Maybe it’s the byproduct of having a solid, supportive, kind father growing up, but the sheer audacity of any fuzzy-balled rando waltzing the fuck up into my world and demanding a word linked to a role with that much trust, sacrifice, and history in my life.... it’s always been an immediate deal-breaker. I would hope a man takes the idea of fatherhood so seriously that even joking about taking it to a sexual or inappropriate place is not something he would allow himself to ever do. If he doe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 12:48 PM
43

It jerks over. Some cameras have a motion feature where they adjust to follow movement. That might be what we are seeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:50 PM
3

Hahaha! Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:48 PM
7

Well-DONE. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 (Haha. Spellcheck tried to change “Done” to “Domestic” .... even algorithms can predict this guys future.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:46 PM
40

There are plenty of women in Kansas already. Why is anyone moving? The whole thing is so weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:44 PM
14

Yes, I think this is it. Women have immense power around reproduction and that’s always what male-focused groups hone in on when they want to increase their control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:39 PM
14

I like the theory. My theory is that they know that for their lives to matter (as in, there is evidence that they existed at all) long-term, they have to either reproduce a line of humans that continues a few generations or doing something amazing through work. The first isn’t something they control and the latter is really hard to do (and tor many, no guarantees that history will care). So they feel meaningless and seek to control the channels by which they can obtain a sense of meaning, purpos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:32 PM
4

Psychopathy isn’t specific to one gender. It manifests a bit differently across genders, but you’ll find it in fairly predictable spots. Like sex trafficking and exploitative industries. And that’s before we acknowledge that pimps are vicious and use women as their mouthpiece... and no one usually flips immediately and says, “OMG, you’re right and im wrong.” They may go off, think about it, and gradually inch toward your position over time. It’s unrealistic to expect otherwise. I did LOL when I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:25 PM
21

Being a single mom isn’t that bad if they have the cash to afford childcare and a strong support network. Being tethered to a LVM for two decades is absolute hell, tho. If motherhood is your gig, sperm banks are a win win all the way around. Please do consider them a viable alternative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:19 AM
114

Some of us do know what it feels like, tho. That feeling is why we are here on FDS. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:59 AM
61

Yep. You can google cops who raped or assaulted battered women during the DV call when they were supposed to assist her. You’ll get an interesting collection of stories nationwide and in other countries. All races, economic classes, religions, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:32 PM
32

Yes!!!! And non-white men are usually jealous of them, not actually supporting our efforts. Like you said, it takes two things to enslave an entire nation of women: 1. No birth control; 2. No custody rights. That’s it. There’s a reasons that Massive men’s organizations focus on one of these two things every single time. They know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:19 PM
133

This. They often have crippling standards for the already swamped women in their lives, but they don’t live those same standards out when they’re responsible for implementing them. That’s why so many moms find single parenting so much easier than married parenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:55 PM
163

“Masturbating Surrounded by Trash” would be an amazing title for the next scrote memoir. Publishers? ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:53 PM
32

Fwiw, the cop I dated back in my early 20s only left after I went full crazy ex girlfriend. I’d suggested a split and he started “sleepwalking” while waving his loaded cop gun around my house /me. So I dropped the talk and he immediately started trying to get me out of college. I went to Barnes and noble and bought every wedding magazine (more than I could afford, tbh), dog eared random pages, got a planner, bought fertility strips. Left it all around the house. Started randomly talking about “t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:27 PM
64

Yep. The power and lack of oversight attracts people with psychopathic traits. If you want to reform police, the very first step is to rigorously test for and exclude any candidates with strong signs of long-term cluster B / antisocial patterns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:57 PM
167

It’s not surprising when you see the stats on how they handle DV calls while in the job either. Calling police on a violent spouse is a very risky endeavor for battered women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:56 PM
2

This, exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:51 PM
8

Every stepmom group is cluttered with men basically doing the same (maybe less formal, in that those guys just doesn’t ask or even bother to relocate his inert carcass while he screws around). But now we’re all supposed to care? 🙀🙄🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:50 PM
27

Right. This is all he’s trying to avoid. Promise he and his boys are the biggest gossips you’ve ever met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:20 PM
403

I can’t second this enough. The ex wife almost always knows this man far better than you do just yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:12 PM
20

They know. They’re just not empathetic enough in many cases to care. Never assume men are dumb. They’re running the world - that didn’t happen on accident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:12 PM
2

Ugh. One man breathing in her ear while another man watches and sketches her. Poor girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 07:00 PM
6

THIS!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:48 PM
2

This. They can do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:38 PM
126

We also become more likely to be tortured or murdered in our own home. Our children’s odds of being molested or abused increase. Our risks are just so much astronomically higher when we pick a mate, statistically. It’s frustrating that guys act like they don’t realize that until it’s their daughter dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:35 PM
0

Sounds like you’ve taken the comment a bit personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:31 PM
4

Haha! I was fresh out of a horrible marriage at the time and had spent five years hearing my ex’s friends say “Even if my woman made more, I’d still give her an allowance so she’d know who the man was” or “she needs to know who the boss is.” When they bought their wives anything. I was definitely still processing a lot of that environment at the time. Yeah, I have a great unimpressed kindergarten teacher voice, I’ve been told, and it’s amazing for reminding these guys which lane is theirs when t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:28 PM
7

Right? The medical literature basically says, hey, if you have a full thyroidectomy, the normal change if all hormones are promptly balance well with meds and a healthy diet is followed is a 30 pound weight gain, on average. That’s normal and best outcome. High odds that will happen. Doctors omit to tell patients that. Just like they forget to tell moms having kids that c-sections are linked to less weight loss post birth, and poorer odds of success with breastfeeding. They just do what they do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:25 PM
22

Age is a huge part of it for women. Autoimmune disease. Thyroid disorders. Sleep deprivation (normal for moms). Losing weight in your 20s is nothing like losing weight in your 40s or 50s. Losing weight with a functioning thyroid is nothing like losing weight after a thyroidectomy. The fitness space would be more profitable if it stopped trying to assembly line clients.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:03 PM
34

I always saw it as the guy who has spent the past few months or year with an infant in the house. If he’s supporting his partner by getting up with the baby at night, working during the day, doing housecleaning with his evenings, his fitness is likely to slide. It’s temporary, it’s a normal part of life, and it’s part of being a committed supportive partner and parent. What it’s not is the weekend dad who sees his pre-teen kids 4 days a month, dumps them on stepmom or his own mom, hangs with the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:59 PM
5

Wendy Walsh “mating matters” podcast has an amazing ep on Testosterone. Lowering testosterone isn’t the male crisis we’ve been led to believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:56 PM
18

They also died younger, so.... If the oldest male body you’ve seen is a 45-year-old whose had a lifetime of manual labor, you’re going to have a different spectrum of male appearance expectations than men and women in a world of sedentary work and 80-year-lifespans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:54 PM
75

I’ve seen mostly the assumption that HVM means he’s rich and LVM means he’s poor. When all it means is HVM is “wifey material” and LVM is ... not. And they’re using those terms in much more degrading ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:53 PM
48

Oh no ... ok, let me try to say this the right way: *Akshoooally, when I saw an Adam Sandler movie, I didn’t laugh once. Men just aren’t funny. They aren’t. You know what’s funny? Women are funny. All this political correctness about male “comedians” is ruining comedy!!!” FIFY /s. We might as well be like men in all the ways that really matter, like extrapolation to their entire gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:50 PM
9

I don’t think they buy the clothes. Those are free t shirts from give aways and 16 year old cargo shorts from a Sam’s Club five pack. Which is fine if that’s what they can afford, but it’s slovenly if they can do better. It also makes women think they’re wearing dishwater-colored tighty whities with holes in the thighs and skid marks deeper than a Nebraska field’s cow trails during a rainy April.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:44 PM
73

While Salma marries one of the richest men on the planet and Jennifer moves between an iconically hot man to the Architectural Digest cover with her multi-million dollar real estate portfolio. Surely on some level, average men realize that these women are astronomically beyond their orbit in every measurable way, right? Aren’t they aware that Sandler is pretending to be a relatable slob so he can take their money?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:41 PM
60

That movie and the book were a solid 50 years ahead of their time where the public perception of the female life experience is concerned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:39 PM
23

I cannot stand Adam Sandler movies, tbh. Or Jonah hill. Hard no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:38 PM
116

Several popular books on female careers mention that you need to watch for this. Apparently husbands sabotaging their wives chances to make more than him or to progress their title above his is a super-common trend. Even men who are sometimes SAHH or otherwise “supportive” of their breadwinner wives. Definitely find a way to tell his wife. I wouldn’t worry about the blowback. Moms get asked who watches the kids from office colleagues all the time. She’s probably gotten side eye for one small tin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:35 PM
16

He does know she won’t stay 18-24 forever, right? He’s like the horrible people shopping for a puppy - not the grown dog they’ll have for 15 more years. Also, like .... people aren’t pets. And employees get paid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:33 PM
5

POS or not, he’s not interested in you much if he’s letting you pay half and he’s in the US. If his dream girl (celeb, cheerleader, whoever) agreed to give him a whole hour of her time, you think he’d be splitting the bill with her? It’s just a red flag that he’s not sold on you. Which is fine, but it also means you probably have more productive people and efforts in which to invest your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:31 PM
12

I had one date a decade or so ago (before this Dutch stuff was so normalized). We were at freaking ihop anyway (so fancy), so I made a pity face then handed the waitress my card, said I’d pay for the whole thing, smiled generously while I told him how I always paid for my brother when he was in college because I knew money times happen to everyone, and when he was an adult he’d be the kind of man he was raised to he and I was right cuz he always pays now, you kind of reminds me of my brother aro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:26 PM
2

I’m not sure how elevated the insults from 14-year-old boys are going to get. This is probably their best effort, tbh. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:18 PM
11

I agree. Something deeply wrong with this homicidal maniac’s wiring. (And I also had that rule about dating. It never steered me wrong.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:33 PM
3

No need for defensiveness or personal attacks. My point was that many people who tout their own HV behaviors to garner your adoration are not a reliable source. Since you knew his wife personally, clearly my reservations would not apply to your case. Simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:42 PM
1

It’s okay. Look out for yourself and your own long-term career first. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things and this is temporary. In the future, my only advice would be to avoid going over someone’s head to their boss - even if they didn’t already hate you, that’s a sure fire way to turn any boss into an enemy. If a boss is horrible, you can arrange an insurrection among your peers (they’ll usually hate the awful boss too) if you can keep your name out of it, feed info on the boss’ f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:08 PM
5

Technically a good lawyer could view any video and counter that their rule is to prevent prosecution for the kinds of inhumane behavior they illegally allow their managers to exhibit. Camera no WiFi Needed - Mini Body Camera Video Recorder - Camera Motion Activated - Nanny Small Cam - Tiny Camera - Small Security Camera for Home and Office (with 32G high-Speed Memory Card) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08GP7Z45R/ This one isn’t the cheapest (there’s a $25 USD pen 🖊 camera with less solid reviews), …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:04 PM
6

Can you get your hands on either a voice activated recorder or small body camera and have those with you at all times? In a her word against his, women don’t usually fare very well. You never know what he will try when future employers call for a reference, or even if he tries to lay you off. Recordings of his abuse (because that’s what this is) could be essential someday, even if you can’t use them now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:00 PM
5

HR is there to protect the company, not you. Do you have a union?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:53 PM
9

The skeptical side of me wants to ask if you got this from him .... or if this is the perspective that his wife provided in private? Some people are incredibly skilled at developing rabid fans and self-promoting an almost angelic image. I would want to get the info from an independent source or someone who has known him intimately over many years. But yes, I agree that everything listed here is HVM behavior!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:49 PM
44

Right? I was expecting something truly horrendous and it was like .... a list I could count on my fingers and still have a couple free for nose picking. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣 like, this is why we’re mad?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:47 PM
8

Why do these sad folks always resort to distanced, theoretical, “royal we” word salad when they get called out? The “we” that needs to do better is YOU, good sir. Just you. Focus on what you can control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:31 PM
19

Like P Diddy? 😒🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:29 PM
38

I’m seeing reports that the Gates were too (and this time, Bill was the one who exercised his options). Let’s see how mad the scrotes get now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:28 PM
72

And she hasn’t had that many partners. I don’t follow any celebs that closely and just assumed she would have a lengthy list of multiple men every year and .... considering her looks and her money and her personality and how many new people she meets constantly in her line of work... her dating life is pretty conservative, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:27 PM
9

Bro, you’re centuries late. The Greeks already tried this (and women have already laughed their version into obscurity): https://nikkidiscovers.com/2018/06/25/size-matters-ancient-greek-statues-and-penis-size/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:43 PM
11

Yeah the books get real weird real fast. As problematic as Shonda’s stuff was, it was still a solid improvement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:34 PM
12

Amazing. “bridgertoned” needs to be in the dictionary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:34 PM
56

Nah, he will feel free to cheat openly and abuse her because “where you gonna go? Who wants a single mom? I’ll take the baby if you try to leave and you’ll never see him/her again.” They all work off a script.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:33 PM
27

I really hope she shouts this mid-sex in the future! 🤣❤️🤣 Actually I hope she blocks and deletes and never sees his criminal face again, but ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:32 PM
38

Or the same music and tv. Which ... no. I can’t even. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:31 PM
9

Women don’t have to be perfect to be right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:29 PM
13

If men don’t hate sex workers, why won’t they marry them? Date them? Do you personally ostracize sex workers in the greater world? Probably not. Does he? Probably yes. Criticism does not equal hatred. Relegating someone to a lesser tier and “othering” their class is hatred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:28 PM
17

Sam Vanikin has YouTube videos on how much some cluster B disorders thrive on their target’s pain. I’m guess that issue and having a sexual fetish for tears are sometimes two different things, but if you’re dating the guy, I’m not sure that distinction matters much. I wouldn’t gamble with the risk of marrying a cluster B - educate yourself on antisocial and malignant/covert NPD from as good a source as possible (there’s a lot of inaccurate stuff out there) and run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:32 AM
28

I do too. Her content is excellent! 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:17 AM
7

It’s mostly a red flag that he’s callous enough to post about it publicly, in a bragging way. That’s the bigger psychopath flag for me. Most men would realize that while it’s uncouth, it’s probably something to keep fairly private if they don’t want to look evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:17 PM
37

I agree, but I also think that asking people to fully register how much promiscuity culture and purity culture are the exact same thing is maybe demanding a bit much of most groups. Most people are going to swing from one extreme to the other, leaving women to eke out whatever freedom we can along the way. It will take many cultures a long time to absorb the idea of a female sexuality that in no way centers itself on its ability to induce a boner in men, and that is not in any way identity-defin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:03 PM
93

God, that story is shattering. What is a mom in her shoes supposed to do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:57 PM
5

A billion trillion claps!!! YES!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:54 PM
14

Season 1 was amazing. I wish it had stayed on track in the later seasons. 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:40 PM
31

In my 20s, I dated a guy who got boners when women cried. The tears were the fetish, not physical pain, so he was always suggesting depressing movies or sharing sad stories. He was pretty pumped for PMS week, when I would bawl at literally anything and he would be super empathetic and comforting with a big ol tent right there. It was weird and I ran after several months. Otherwise he was fine, tbh, and I’m sure he found someone who was more than happy to cry on demand in exchange for his family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:30 PM
66

Sadists. One of the easiest tells for the type of sicko that’s truly dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:26 PM
36

insert burning trash dumpster gif here I’m not sure why we acknowledge actual psychopaths with this kind of attention, tbh. Finding a guy who won’t pitch a tent when you’re mourning a loved one is a pretty easy bar to get over, even with the pool of men in today’s dating game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:24 PM
8

Meeee tooooooo!!!! 🖤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:21 PM
36

Is this the actress that played Charlotte on Revenge? She is gorg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:20 PM
207

This is what stood out to me. She basically customized herself to this one man so he would never have to be threatened by the presence of other men in her life. Definitely male fantasy right there, in a child’s cartoon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:31 PM
17

Impossible!!!! Only a monstrous dog-wearing psychopath could be such an independent woman that her appearance isn’t geared entirely toward doling out male stiffies with every sweep of her fur attire!!!! 😲🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:29 PM
17

They are truly terrified of us. (It’s honestly kind of fun, 😂).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:28 PM
58

This is a huge part of it. Imagine a world where younger women view Melinda Gates and Donna Strickland the way men view Warren Buffet and Neil DeGrasse Tyson. How much faster would our reach grow if we didn’t have to do everything alone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:25 PM
2

Honestly, these men aren’t the threat. It’s the men who are quiet to her face and then spread rumors about her being a bitch and impossible to work with and how she never shuts up that are going to ruin her career / net worth. I think “The Silent Sex” by Karpowitz is a must-read because it gives you strategies for being heard and affecting change, instead of just telling you how hopeless things are for women. It’s environment dependent- if she’s the only woman in a room, she will get farther if …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:00 PM
14

He lost me when he referred to an in-law visit as a “vacation.” That stuff is stressful and he should pay for it either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:42 PM
153

To be frank, he will treat his eventual wife the exact same way. Men of bad character do not magically transform into Jesus Christ the second they find that magical pusspuss made just for their four inches. They’re always going to treat their partners varying degrees of exploitative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:41 PM
47

It’s super cringe for all the friends and colleagues who have seen the husband hit on other women or who know he’s actively cheating on her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:13 PM
13

Me neither, girl. Omg it needs to stop yesterday. I absolutely hate it. Praise him for being a good partner, by all means, if the spirit moves you, but privately or without dragging yourself. It’s so cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:05 PM
4

Yes, the 97-step k-beauty skincare is almost transparently a bid to have women buy products and boost the corporate bottom line. I still don’t think men or women age better than the other. (Keep in mind that most male actors get Botox, filler, and plastic surgery also.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:01 PM
154

Well, theft is more likely to get you jail time than rape, so from that angle, it’s a huge promotion. But yes. Women are not for sale. My favorite quote from a world leader : “I guess the men of Iceland will just have to get used to the idea that women are not for sale." https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/mar/25/iceland-most-feminist-country
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:19 PM
24

Oh yes. Thanks for noting that - my oversight. Pregnancy, birth, and the first year after birth are marathon feats of female strength and endurance physically... it’s perfectly natural for being fuckable to take a backseat to keeping a tiny, vulnerable new human (especially one that looks at you with the love of universes in its little eyes) alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:34 PM
48

My experience was that a mediocre or exploitative marriage is as aging as poverty - maybe more so. A supportive marriage and a rich,satisfying single life seem to be about the same when it comes to aging. One is a lot easier to find than the other, tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:31 PM
147

This. When I see a gal who looks a little rough, there’s always (1) a rapidly progressing chronic illness (girl has bigger fish to fry than the season’s best lipgloss), or (2) an abusive relationship (I include exploitative coparents who fail to do their share here). Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:28 PM
10

Oh they do. They do. They already do this for men, don’t doubt it. What they mean is they want to be the only man in a room filled with piles of p***y. That’s what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:38 PM
7

Yep. Our women’s book clubs were kind of understood that they had to be secret. Not formally, just if we talked about them or carried the book where the 96% male colleagues saw them, we’d eventually lose the ability to have our small monthly group. It’s a little scary that every women with any experience in the tech space just inherently understood to keep our mouths shut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:35 PM
11

I remember back in the tech days, attending an industry focused women’s meeting. It was supposed to be for women by women but we kept showing up to weekly meetings where there was a man in every breakout (to capture any IP that was produced) and every speaker event. Turns out the whole org was a man’s idea and intended to capture any IP ideas the women produced but “weren’t confident enough to bring forward.” This group was supposed to be made up of our org leaders who were female. It was led by…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:30 PM
6

Or text “anal” and then -hehe! - “wrong number” to get his curiousity firing!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:26 PM
6

It would become every other female space on the internet, then fade into pickme obscurity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:25 PM
8

I find myself doing this without thinking and oddly, it’s not actually controversial with anyone over 21. AT ALL. Like, zero women with male experience find a single thing that FDS endorses controversial or inflammatory. Even if they don’t agree with every point, nothing is shockingly new or mean. It’s noteworthy that only a community of young (read:inexperienced) men like Reddit find any of these concepts shocking and mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:14 PM
3

This is my new band name now thnx.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:54 PM
26

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:14 PM
22

Which is insane. It’s like suggesting racial equality initiatives in the west also include yt folks for whatever reasons reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:13 PM
143

“Not all men .... I mean, me, sure, I do it, but some men don’t have any friends to share it with!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:12 PM
116

Thirding. So it’s men getting boners over abuse, torture, and molestation victims...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:12 PM
136

Thank you for asking. I’m sitting here waffling “do I want to be angry all day? Do I want to know this? Do I not want to know this?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:11 PM
1

Yes. Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:12 PM
1

Because they lose the kids if they leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:14 AM
1

Please be careful with this mindset. In custody court, it can devolve into the mother being punished for staying by having her child taken away ... and placed full time with the abuser. Men are 100% responsible for the choices they make and the harm those choice cause others. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:08 AM
3

I agree except ... mothers who have and assert evidence of abuse of the children are more likely to lose custody of their children. https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/a-gendered-trap-when-mothers-allege-child-abuse-by-fathers-the-mothers-often-lose-custody-study-shows/2019/07/28/8f811220-af1d-11e9-bc5c-e73b603e7f38_story.html So that will not help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:51 AM
3

He’s kept her in a disempowered state for decades tho. How will he respond to her working and being the primary income when he’s un-or under-employed? Why might he suddenly so desperately want her to work (to the point that he’s willing to to live alone) now? What’s the difference for him if he divorces a woman who hadn’t worked in decades vs divorcing a woman who works? (Hint: thousands per month in alimony.) How does leaving her in the home by herself and inconveniencing himself alone in the c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:48 AM
9

Mom is in a catch 22 now. Bad for daughter if she stays, bad for daughter if she leaves. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know we all have a lot of resistance to the the idea of being trapped, but this is what that looks like for mothers in the US, Canada, and much of Europe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:36 PM
4

🤣 it’s the new MRA safe harbor to avoid owning their choices. There was an amazing post basically saying this on another forum today. IDK which of you was in there doing the sex hitchhiker trolling, but thank you for giving my brunch group the laugh of our lives!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:15 PM
11

I like this. The female ghostbusters remake is what I’d recommend. The male characters are such one-note stereotypes and arm candy and it’s interesting to see how various levels of men respond to that,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:12 PM
1

Thats true. You’re kinder than I am. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:08 PM
15

Amen. Some sources footnoted on this one. Fun excerpt: “on the average, the kids did better living with a single mom than they did with a dad who was married to a stepmother.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/200901/children-single-mothers-how-do-they-really-fare https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-07-children-single-mother-by-choice-families-two-parent.html And an interesting angle: https://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2014/11/19/the-biggest-reason-for-income-inequali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:10 PM
15

I think they’re fantasizing a world where they can have a child unencumbered by it’s mother, so they can consistently plug in new bangmaids to do the parenting and raise their legacy, not have to coparent, ditch them for new bangmaids if the chicks get mouthy, and not have to limit the number of women they partner with over two decades. Or I think that’s how it works in their MGTOW artificial womb fantasy. They simply refuse to lower themselves to an equal, committed partnership with a mere huma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:03 PM
10

Savage. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:00 PM
7

Women have. They’ve also seen the more recent study (conducted by a woman, shocker) showing that when you control for poverty and domestic violence, single parent houses and happy two-parent homes raise indistinguishable kids. Guess how women are removing domestic violence from that equation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:59 PM
6

Right? Where’s the rover.com and doordash ads for poor women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:57 PM
4

Do you ever pretend to be impressed, ask how she got him to notice her, and then tell her he really looks like [name a hot celeb or athlete that he looks nothing like]? Asking for a friend. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:55 PM
16

Yep. Agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:51 PM
32

Idk, then the daughter is alone with him when he’s like this, because he is highly likely to get visitation. I could see waiting until daughter is a bit older if it’s otherwise safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:51 PM
32

I mean. Yeah. Maybe the shoulder pain was excruciating- nothing little bitch about feeling actual pain. But trying to blame his wife for his choices? LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:50 PM
19

Yep. My first thought was that she is working secretly, stashing the cash, and has to have seen a lawyer since she will have to make a break for it before their joint taxes are due next year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:47 PM
10

No, I’d bet my own retirement he’s been having an affair, is making plans to leave, and is trying to make it seem like her fault. Otherwise divorcing her now is dramatically in his worst interests and that’s not generally how men his age roll when it comes to marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:43 PM
14

It’s going to depend on the state they’re in if he’s in the US. But yes, he’s probably looking at some solid alimony, and an angry new side piece who resents “that woman taking SO’s money.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:38 PM
21

Considering the number of elderly women I see working registers and stocking shelves , it’s safe to assume a LOT of men are okay doing this to their partners during their golden years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:37 PM
49

This. He’s met someone new, already slept with them, and is looking for a reason to exit without looking like the bad guy. I’d assume 85% of this is absolutely untrue and the remaining 15% is taken horriblely out of context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:35 PM
3

I just assume there’s a lot of alcohol consumption. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:44 PM
16

Can verify. Hot guys are used to attention, so one more swooning chick isn’t a big deal (to them or their wives, from what I’ve seen). Unattractive men tend to see it as their only chance to gain status and prioritize that over their wife’s trust and emotions. If you find an unattractive guy who knows it and has a decent amount of humility, you have a solid shot at fidelity, but they’re fairly rare in the tech world, at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:19 PM
3

Hahahaha. YES. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:11 PM
1

Thank you. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:33 AM
20

Meh, men wanting all the rights of parenthood with none of the obligations of parenthood is a massive trend. It’s also what keeps single moms mired in poverty. It’s not the first time I’ve seen kids guilted for being blunt enough to highlight the issue. I’m a bit over it professionally, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 12:15 AM
2

Sure thing. Thanks for asking. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:35 PM
5

Yes, these aren’t going to be LVM. LVM generally can’t be bothered to fake HV with any real effort or longevity. And they can level up and become good partners (I’ve never seen one over 30 do it, but technically it’s possible, I suppose). They’re going to be psychopaths, which is an entirely different animal and you’d need a completely different checklist to flag them. Sandra L Brown’s “women who love psychopaths” is a solid read on the topic as well. They’re NVM, not really LVM, if I’m understa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:14 PM
2

It’s going to vary for everyone. OP has stated she feels a doorslam was the appropriate response for her own boundaries. I don’t want to invalidate that. For the DV target, I’d say a distant relationship that allows them a lot of time flexibility is best. Consistency. Refusing to be put off by the kinds of (admittedly rude and disappointing) inconsistencies highlighted here. But also not pushing for much more than the little they’re able to offer, which I know is often not fair. They’re not in a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:08 PM
2

Trauma victims and PTSD sufferers tend to be hyper vigilant and highly reactive. It’s not ideal to have a lot of them housed together, as military wives and DV counselors can tell you. I hope you find a more peaceful home very soon. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:42 PM
2

I’m going to disagree. A woman doesn’t choose to stay with a shitty man. A woman chooses to time her greatest risk of death (I.e. leaving a shitty man) for a period when she can best handle it. That might not be right now. It might not be when her friends (who don’t know him as well as she does) want it. It might not be when the courts or CPS want it. She’s being controlled by an assailant who no one else will volunteer to control. Instead -because he’s scary / uncontrollable- her entire network…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:40 PM
1

I second this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:32 PM
4

That was my first thought too. I’ve been her friend (minus the step kid) and it’s so hard to watch your friends vanish while you try to stay alive. There’s nothing they can do but discreetly stay in touch from a distance, and that’s something that not everyone is willing to go along with, understandably. I spent years hiding my electronics before bed, before leaving the house, before using the bathroom or leaving the room because my ex would fake a fit over something like how the dishwasher was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:28 PM
6

Yep. This screams “I didn’t want to make him angrier than he already was by doing human things like having friends or finding joy in people who aren’t him.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:25 PM
2

Please read “Expecting Better” if you’re thinking about motherhood. The age cut off isn’t quite as drastic as women have been led to believe. Freeze your eggs if you can afford it. Join female solo travel groups (there are a LOT) and reach out when you’re in other members’ communities. Get the house you want, the job you want, save and invest and study money, learn home DIY. Get an awesome dog. You’re enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:21 PM
10

Yes. Please please read “Predators” by Anna Salter. The most dangerous of these NVM have dedicated all of their time and effort toward building a mask and false persona that fools their entire world ... not just you. So when you do figure him out, you’ll have an entire phalanx of his rabid fans coming for you for besmirching this poor, wonderful, pure, giving man, the poor beautiful soul that he is! But if you know the red flags, they’re not horribly hard to spot. It’s just trusting yourself whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:16 PM
4

Well .... yes, I am a bitch. Die mad. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:11 PM
1

Dammit. I wish I’d saved my free award for this comment. 😲👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:00 PM
6

My mom always warned us that we’d need a new set of girlfriends for “every 30 pounds lost or gained, every new boyfriend who makes it past a year, every new relationship stage like a wedding or kids or divorce.” (She was a battle-axe... zero pickme cells in her body.) I thought she was dramatic, but.... I cannot prove her wrong in the slightest with my own life trajectory. It’s sad. A few random friends have been around for decades through it all, but my larger women friendships communities defi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:57 PM
3

LVM in the Wild: a Suburban Tour with DM Attenborough. Seriously. I know so many guys like this. And they’re all pretty careful to make church or mosque weekly. Raging hypocrites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:50 PM
7

Y’all are incredibly gracious to even bother trying to explain logical adult concepts to immature stalkers determined to misunderstand everything here.... 🤷🏼‍♀️💁‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:43 PM
3

I’ve found that when you absolutely refuse to explain and simple go silent or leave, a LVM immediately knows exactly why you’re mad (and he’s right) and how to fix it (shocking). No explanation needed. They’re just working your boundaries to make them more flexible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:38 PM
14

I’m sorry. Sending hugs and solidarity. I’ve had similar experiences as white-passing from men of most racial groups. My non-white female friends took a huge step away and withdrew support when the assailant wasn’t white and it’s ... painful and angering. I see you and I hear you. You’re not alone. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:30 PM
20

Or accomplished astronaut Chris Hadfield, who says, “The antidote to fear is competence.” And if I’m not mistaken, the female Level up Strategy or FDS has literal check lists of how men can level up to “competence.” We are helping our haters become better humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:26 PM
9

I agree. If he can throw money at the problem and have it go away, that works too. But one or the other needs to be a possibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 07:36 PM
38

This. I’d prefer a guy who can admit he doesn’t know and has the funds and humility to hire the expertise needed ... over a Joe Blow who has to be nagged for three months and then screws it up entirely because he couldn’t admit he didn’t know/couldn’t fix it either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 07:33 PM
21

Zero surprise at this. Sad, but zero surprise. Literally every single woman I’ve met has at least one story. I can’t say that about men. Which is what makes the MRA story line about male oppressions non-credible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:59 PM
44

Also the incessant dieting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:55 PM
45

Wow. I don’t know whether to laugh or feel sad at how accurate this is. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:54 PM
76

Kids know who cares for them. Don’t feel bad. If he really wanted your affection, he’d already have been the go to for school stuff and food and needs because you’d have known he knew what he needed to to get things done for you. He wanted all the affection with none of the relationship investment first. Parenting is knowing that, as kids mature, it’s on you as the adult to love them first and invest in them first and stick your neck out emotionally .... and maybe they return it and probably the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:39 PM
101

Or he will just start doing it at 2am and waking you up so you’re chronically sleep deprived. Or spending tons of money on tools for it or a renovation that’s not needed but “this is how I’m in charge of laundry - we need a good backsplash behind the washer.” If he’s a true sociopath, there’s no managing his bs. Leave and be done with it. 🏊🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:35 PM
35

Congratulations on your future freedom!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I wish I could hug you - I know there’s probably lots of emotions RN, but also.... it’s really exciting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 06:33 PM
22

Being not-shackled to a slow Steven is also a win. Congrats on that, at least!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:52 PM
17

Men don’t grow up seeing cantaloupes or ham sandwiches sexualized and I think we all know what some of them do there.... I always find myself remembering the episode on “The Grand Tour” where Jeremy drives by a dude getting it on with a donkey (not a euphemism) in a field in full view of the road. When he asks townspeople (all male group) later , they unabashedly say that yes, of course, here a donkey is always a boy’s “first wife” and of course Jeremy saw what he saw. Totes normcore, bro - wann…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:49 PM
20

Yeah, if on a first date, he doesn’t laugh at your jokes - or if he does, but tried to hold back and then acts insecure or tries to “reassert dominance” after - he is not relationship material (or a good lay, tbh). Go Dutch and Ditch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:43 PM
32

Yep. The standards for female comics are 50 levels above those applied to greasy, balding, skeezy male comics. The whole field is wildly depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:41 PM
13

Well, your last line made me guffaw so I am here to validate your self-assessment. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:38 PM
19

Absolutely nailed it. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👆🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:36 PM
70

Oh he understood them. He just wanted you to hide your funny light under a bushel so his would shine brighter. I’m glad you called him out! He deserved it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:32 PM
8

Gospel truth!!! Love it!! ❤️👏🏻❤️👏🏻❤️👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:42 PM
11

He’s supposed to be FeMiNiSt but I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I guess because he occasionally has female characters in his movies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:47 AM
57

That’s hilarious! Average guys are clueless and want to stay that way. Having married two guys who were/are objectively good looking and in good shape, I promise, women are forward and aggressive in letting hot men know that they are interested (married or not, which ... sis, girl 🤡... 🤣). It is non-stop. Everywhere. I think average guys have no clue how much their opportunity to connect with women goes up when they max out their looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:14 AM
15

Me too. I shrieked. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:58 PM
29

Too many Judd Apatow movies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:57 PM
29

I can’t be the only one who immediately heard Savannah’s voice in my head going, “it’s all women, scrotes. Die mad.” 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously though, the main spectrum is between women for whom looks are a deal breaker and women for whom they’re ... less of a dealbreaker. Chris Hemsworth and Idris Elba don’t have careers because of their personalities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:56 PM
5

Yup. If they don’t want to sleep with you, you’re entirely invisible to LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:13 PM
32

He telling on himself. He knows that no HVW who actually knew him as well as he knows him would ever find him attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 09:06 PM
67

This. We have to take our cultures and environments into account. Nothing about them is equal so pretending as if they are is just us taking on all the male risk and responsibilities in exchange for ... nothing, absolutely nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 09:05 PM
97

In todays world, most men are in a similar place, tbh. They have an entire industry that caters to men getting laid no matter how it harms their partner. They just have to pay for it. It’s not hard. Incels don’t want to just get laid- they want to get laid by the woman/women/look they want, on their terms. We talk about entitlement because that’s a pretty entitled stance. It’s a goal that even women are going to have trouble meeting - most of us have crushed on someone who wasn’t interested or w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 08:16 PM
1

I know the feeling!!! It’s so hard to get to a place where you feel fully in ownership of your own body, even in public spaces. Especially to the same degree men do. I know it’s been a lengthy journey for me. I’m so glad you’re healing and feel free to “show up” fully in your own life. That’s so beautiful. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 08:13 PM
4

It’s Ramadan so I’m seeing a lot of extended family and friends enter a more devout space around another Abrahamic religion, but yes, I think it’s applicable to almost every religion out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:45 PM
3

A lot of modesty teachings have been interwoven with religious beliefs and practices, so challenging them often has the emotional impact of blasphemy for a devout reader. A lot of the opposition to modesty rejection is really just a woman who hasn’t yet done the hard work of rescuing her full personhood from the overgrown vines of her religion’s gendered teaching. It’s hard work to rescue your spirituality and sense of God /greater power from all the male gatekeeping and female disempowerment th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:28 PM
19

I’m also watching a few friends cruise down the same road with their husbands. It’s hard to watch the lifespan of someone you love decrease by the week. They’re so stressed and overworked and sleep-deprived and their health is declining so rapidly. Their kids are okay, so they’re great moms. Their husbands are faithfuls at the gym and improving their golf games and occasionally bagging promotions at work. But mom is working herself to death.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:03 PM
112

This. The vast tsunami of hatred and degradation that men feel now and have felt for women over millennia is monstrously depressing. You go through a period of intense grief and anger the first time you let yourself believe what the facts are showing you about men as a group. There’s such a sense of being chumped and fooled, so much regret, and a lot of hopelessness. It’s much easier to stick to the well-trod, societally approved paths- blame other women for influencing or not influencing him, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:37 PM
6

Fitness is empowering for everyone because it increases our bodily autonomy - autonomy is always a positive. Pole dancing - like boobs - can serve purposes that don’t revolve around the male penis. Those purposes may be fine. It doesn’t negate that pole dancing in the OP is referring to the male-sexuality-centered use of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:31 PM
3

It sounds like you’re exploring acrobatics using a pole as one of the tools for that. That’s a fitness path and it sounds fun! I think performing for the male gaze is the creep factor that we are discussing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:27 PM
32

Oh god. This is a huge pet peeve. I and my sisters were valedictorian and salutatorians. We had full paid scholarships offered by multiple schools and one of us had perfect SAT scores. You know how our college grad convos went? “I’m looking for summer work in this field. I’ll be home for the summer so hoping to find something here.” Them: “oh that’s fantastic. I know your parents are just so proud of you! They’ll be glad to have you home again for a bit.” My brothers are lovely people and HVM, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:20 PM
7

We’re going to have to show women how to obtain their own financial freedom - and how to do it with all of their current jobs and time limitations- before they’re able to cut down their current channels needed to keep the kids fed. I think this is why most militant radfems I’ve met are women whose kids are grown and gone. If you oppose the status quo as a mother, you’ll be punished by having your kids taken away and being plunged into poverty. Real change always has consequences and they’re brut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:11 PM
10

Those things are definitely not priorities for most easy-come-easy-go male ally-types.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:07 PM
35

The naked-covered spectrum is because women are commodities. Men are angry because the commodity is endangering its resale value on the open market. Or they’re happy because they get the commodity for free. Or they’re happy because the commodity behaves as it should so life is predictable, and they can buy and sell it as privately as they’d like. Cover or uncovering solves nothing. The issue is the mindset that women are “other”, that women are a marketable consumable for the male customer. Nipp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:39 PM
0

That’s certainly possible also!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:36 PM
4

Support the anti monopoly investigations into Google for a start. One company doesn’t need that much control over how the world is interpreted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:27 PM
6

I suspect that for many men, seeing the true size of the tsunami of violence women swim in daily, it’s simply validated their desire to treat women poorly. For the same reasons you shouldn’t share with a new guy that the old guy abused you, sharing metoo stories (while it did a lot of awesome things for women to be validated) gave LVM everywhere to be more public with their abusive tendencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:26 PM
8

Yep. She lied, backstabbed, disrespected you, then stole? Come on, you’re just jealous of her looks/man! Hit the gym, sis! I see this insanity all the time if I am in the mood for a dumpster fire and lurk infidelity forums. She’s not jealous, hun, she’s furious at the raging disrespect and erasure you showed her and the harm you caused her kids. She’s entitled to her feelings as well. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:07 PM
3

He wants someone to take over a lot of the parenting responsibilities- that’s my first guess. Possibly housekeeping stuff, but I’m guessing she finds herself parenting a bit more than anticipated. He’s wanting someone to take one kid to elementary school while he runs the others to middle school every morning. Get on the internet for the county court for the county where his divorce was filed. Most will let you search by his name. Check to see if the documents (whatever is visible) and filing in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:59 PM
5

Rowing is the best - you’ll build the muscles for pushing, and maintain your pelvic floor. Concept makes the best ergs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:45 PM
1

This is absolutely fantastic!! Well, in that environment, I think you are making an incredible choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:44 PM
19

I second this. Financial savings -assume you will need a night nanny at least 2-4 nights a week if you have a poor sleeper. Maybe a housekeeper during pregnancy if you end up on bed rest. I’d also look into a flexible job. Remote work makes mothering easier I think. Tech is probably the most accessible field for both high income options and flexibility. If you need to pivot careers, do it now. Build your tribe and definitely include single moms locally. The weird thing about single motherhood is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:41 PM
4

Men don’t know what it’s like to sit at a conference table surrounded by bigger stronger women who frequently go home and masturbate to video images of men being choke.d, rap.Ed or even murd.ered. That’s a fun miasma to discuss PowerPoints and quarterly targets in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:33 PM
2

I mean, tiny children were coal miners before child labor laws. Girls were child coal hurriers (a fun google if you feel like bawling). Little boys did horrible work in the mines too. Not sure what grown men are whining about today. https://celestetmoc.weebly.com/industrial-revolution-childhoods.html Kids still do mining and horrible labor in some parts of the world: https://youtu.be/0ZA5Az09Zj4 Are the guys asking why they aren’t revered for doing the work that kids do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:30 PM
9

Meh, this is the crockpot divorce. It’s brewing while they do other things, and it takes awhile, but she’s leaving him eventually. No doubt. I recognize that list.... 👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:21 PM
10

Especially between women. God forbid we have more complex interactions than “jealousy” ... disrespect, erasure, predatory behavior, dishonesty, etc. are too complex for silly girl brain to understand, let alone perpetrate, ever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:19 PM
12

This can’t be said enough. This is a fairly standard outcome in US family courts. When the dad is accused of molesting a child and then asks for sole custody of his victim, he gets it over 80% of the time. Why? Because he rebuts mom’s accusations with the hysterical, alienating feeemale response. (And it doesn’t end with the divorce. Every stepparent forum is full of women pouring every ounce of energy into helping these men take their children entirely away from the child’s mother “because she’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:12 PM
4

Hey at least it’s not Facebook. Try posting on any feminist stuff on Facebook and watch the ads for depression and bipolar and weight loss populate your feed within 48 hours. Stay off the pages for 2 weeks and you’re back to fashion ads, fitness ads, and home decor. 🙄🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:06 PM
5

Yes. This is solid strategy - thank you for pointing this out. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:05 PM
31

Yeah the 2 year old in the bath unattended is the only part of this that really bugs me. A naked five year old isn’t great and it’s super awkward for you, but that’s how 5-year-olds roll sometimes. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:01 PM
48

Not really. Was the visit poorly timed? They definitely weren’t making any effort to impress you and it sounds like mom wasn’t getting any support so she took a couple moments at a stranger’s expense. That speaks to the labor allocation of parenting that your partner likely envisions when he considers a family. I’d also be sensitive to your partner’s idea of timing. If he’s always springing you on his family without sufficient warning or during already-stressful events, that’s a huge red flag fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:55 PM
41

This could work, but I’d deploy it carefully and read the room first. I know a few groups that are definitely good to be included in, but even if they agree with your stance, bringing up politics or divisive topics with essential strangers would immediately flag you as someone who can’t hang and you wouldn’t be invited back. It’s a huge social faux pas in some environments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:52 PM
21

2, 7, and 10 are golden!! I think too, as someone who saw my brothers bring their girlfriends home over the years growing up, it’s important to - as much as possible - detach a bit from your loyalty to your guy and focus on loyalty to yourself and your own goals. We met lovely girls who were probably a better fit than the girls they married (which was something we still would never say out loud, ever), lovely women who were a horrible fit for these guys we knew better than they did (but couldn’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:45 PM
31

I’ve found that really close gal pals tend to recommend the WORST men. It was always the acquaintance/ kind of friend who I knew from work or tennis club or HOA meetings who was already married to a HVM who would suggest men that were pretty date-able when I was single. In fact they were some of my best resources for meeting great guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:26 PM
10

Omg, this. I stumbled across FDS because I was trying to find decent dating advice for girls for someone I know who’s all over Reddit (I know, I know...) and it’s pretty much all what this post describes. Or worse, the guy goes out with her and is a totally trash partner. Then I found the FDS handbook and was all, “omg, some stuff that won’t destroy her life or derail her energy and health in the pursuit of male affection!!! How does this even exist on the INTERNET?!?!?! Is this even legal in 20…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:24 PM
14

Fair point 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:15 PM
9

MAMALT is my new favorite phrase, lol! Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:09 PM
13

To be fair, when it doesn’t come with the threat of poverty, assault or murder wafting from it, we do ignore most misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:08 PM
31

Time to create a male profile and get called a simp and white knight. It’s fun to switch it up. It also means no rape threats in the DMs which is a novel experience that everyone should have at least once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:06 PM
50

Oh no. It’s always mom’s fault. First rule of parenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:04 PM
43

Exactly! Like, I get that maybe someone is in a financial phase where that’s a burden so they don’t pay. It happens. It’s also a time when maybe you don’t date until that part of life has been shored up and you’re financially stable again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:53 PM
22

I love this. Great description of a HVM relationship with a woman he loves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:13 PM
207

My coworkers don’t even split the cost of coffee. It’s a couple bucks. Who ever invited pays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:12 PM
29

I agree that it’s damaging. I just want to be super super careful that we don’t shift the blame and our rightful rage over male mistreatment to other women... it’s okay to be fully angry with men for doing these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:11 PM
70

Honestly? I hope she makes him a super crappy over salted dinner of spaghetti, makes sad puppy eyes if he doesn’t seem to love it, Venmo’s him for half the cost plus an hourly cooking rate based on what In-home chefs make in her city. THEN dumps him. Exploitative pr|ck. Let him go brag to his buds about his “plates” while he nurses a tummy ache.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:08 PM
5

Oooh, someone’s getting a bag of popped popcorn that sis snitched from the work break room!! Him: popcorn again? Her: it’s free. Him: I don’t like popcorn. Her: I don’t like spending money. Isn’t it amazing how much we have in common? Hey, do you want a lemonade cup with your pops? Costco had these little samples...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:04 PM
24

I think most aren’t great husbands - they certainly aren’t faithful husbands. They choose someone who is out of their “league,” whose looks will impress their friends, whose income will supplement their goals, whose drive and work ethic will take a lot of daily responsibilities off their own plate (more time for him to whore around!). They want the financial and social drive of a non-trad with the male-centering emotional process of a pickme and the deference of a trad. And when they hit that ja…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:55 PM
15

I’m always shocked that some of my female peers don’t know this stuff, but it’s definitely a truckload of truth and I’m glad you’re putting it out there for the next generation!! ❤️ Excellent post! I’d add that even the super nice, not-like-them-guy that usually emerges and seems HV but still hangs with the scrotes? Is also a scrote, but malignant enough to have a better act. By their chosen peers, you shall know them, lol. I also worked in a male environment my first decade in the corporate wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:06 PM
1

Wow. Angry upvote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:52 AM
0

Girl. Entire massive religions fetishize women’s hair. I agree tho - super bizarre.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:48 AM
3

A lot of women shun or resist the male gaze temporarily or on a longer-term basis. It’s a fairly normal part of the female life experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:42 AM
5

Thoughts and prayers, sugar. Unless it’s his kink. In that case, PORNBOI POWER! 💪🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:34 AM
36

How does anyone honestly think that having kids isnt a bigger deal for women than it is for men? HOW? Is there a strap-on incubator that attaches to their ballsack now, so they can feed their body’s resources to a developing human for a year while also working and staying fit and keeping things spicy for the wife?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:11 PM
28

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 well-put. This!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:10 PM
28

This fills me with so much rage. If we had one race of people getting off an watching another race of people kil;l themselves, we’d rightfully demonstrate and demand jail time. But let a woman ki..ll herself while men watch and their fapping can be heard for miles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:47 PM
39

This is using someone else’s physicality for sexual purposes without that body’s owner’s informed consent. If these guys had a girlfriend who like long hair and they liked her long hair, I wouldn’t care. It’s the dishonesty and exploitation that’s wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:43 PM
22

I agree. What a gd f**king waste of her precious time and emotional energy. I’m a little pissed that it was only $250, ngl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:40 PM
139

I wonder sometimes, because old religions introduce circumcision as a tool for God(s) to demonstrate their superiority over / ownership of a man. Its supposed to tame him and bring him in line with the rules of a superior sovereignty. To me, it’s mega weird to begin with, but also the idea that changing someone’s sexual organs says something about who they are... is not logical all. Whether you believe in a God doing this (which means it’s true insight into male psyche that this God created) or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:35 PM
82

I think it has less to do with actual hair or looks and more to do with autonomy and ownership of her own body. A woman cutting her hair is a woman deciding what her body does. I think LV men sometimes forget that another human always owns and decides what happens to the body in which that spirit lives, even when the body is a female body. He cannot, in fact, own the body of another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:29 PM
50

I turned off comments. 💁‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:24 PM
46

It’s the most female interaction they get all week. The fact that it works for them so well that they can’t stay away speaks to how often the women they interact with notice their presence. FDS superfans aren’t the cream of the crop, by definition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:23 PM
20

And then there’s the incestuous overtones too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 12:04 PM
23

That stuff probably started after they had a kid together. It’s shocking how many men hold their controlling tendencies in check until their partner is pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:39 PM
13

“I would like a sex only relationship with you.” Wut. Sir, no. This is not a brothel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:33 PM
12

But you can read it as “Disappointing Husband” and still be right most of the time online. Idk why these forums are always such dumpster fires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:26 PM
10

Does this sound like a made up story so he could reuse the ex girlfriend’s ring?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:23 PM
5

This is amazing amazing list!! Are the speakers going to be anonymous, named, or a mix of?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:20 PM
102

This is the best way. It’s not our job to turn him into an adult man who is dateable. But he also just showed that he’s not interested in us enough to be a good time investment so... peace, bruh. Let’s be friends. (Friends go Dutch all the time, right?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:41 PM
27

It’s already dropped, but Deadbeat by Tiny Meat Gang needs to be here too... 🤣. Every time he shouts “I’m 31!” I die. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:32 PM
10

Of course!! Two women have lifted the Dinnie Stones (over 700 pounds) and they’re unmistakably feminine gals. Thanks for a great reminder of our own strength and physical ability. ❤️💪🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:50 AM
2

Tbh, I just come in and upvote the heck out of y’all, so the other gals here can feminist anywhere they want on Reddit without hurting their karma too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:43 AM
9

I didn’t before. But NOW.... 🖕🏻🤏🏼🤌🏽👎🏻😽😼😿😸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:12 AM
7

Amen, sis. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:10 AM
204

Age has taught me that men’s biggest weapon is commandeering my time. Thank you for saving literally years of female time with your mod-ing!!! We shall go forth and make millions with our freed hours in your honor. ❤️ More emojis just because 😉👊🏻✋🏻📃💄👩🏼‍🎤👸🏼🦹🏼‍♀️🦹🏻‍♀️🦹🏽‍♀️🦹🏿‍♀️🧝🏽‍♀️💁‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️💃🏼💃🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:55 PM
2

Great advice 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:51 PM
17

This is a pretty standard interpretation of DV in the US and UK family courts. Particularly where laws mandate DV be taken seriously. Instead of holding men responsible, it’s a fox hunt for reasons why someone might say Something that Didn’t Happen cuz He’s a Good Man, This Dad is Pure, He Luv His Kid. I’d say the majority of family law folks fall into this pattern easily and quickly early on. I’ve seen it happen when the ex wife is in a shelter and you can still see her injuries. Push push push…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:43 PM
14

Modest girls won’t be noticed by men their own age who might give them better relationship options. Modest girls won’t be noticed by anyone who might take her focus off of her “owner.” Modest girls will be too busy worrying about following the rules to self-actualize and pursue their own identity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:37 PM
13

I think it’s vital for women to know this - many “witches” were women who owned property but had been widowed. When they wouldn’t let men take their property, men knocked them off and took it anyway. Nothing spiritual or threatening about it. Just the same exploitative mindset that takes women’s time, money, and free labor today. And tries to end women who try to escape their exploitation. Witch burning was financial abuse and DV on a community-wide scale. It’s also worth noting that men were ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:15 PM
14

Fake or not, men seeing women as consumable products for men is not uncommon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:11 PM
58

I did not need coffee in my nose at this hour of the morning, ma’am. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:42 PM
42

My high school jobs (retail, waitressing) had a silent army of elderly women who had been SAHMs and then their kids grew up and their husbands died or left them (or beat them so they left).... and this was their path until they died. Working two-three physically demanding, minimum wage jobs with barely any health insurance, living in a shitty unsafe apartment or week to week hotel that they could afford (or the crumbling marital home). Occasionally you’d have one living in her car or stealing he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:57 PM
12

If you divorce, most states will expect 50% of the 401k growth during your marriage to go to your spouse. If you see him making big “loans” to family or friends during your marriage, the courts will consider those gifts in many states and since you were married, your consent to the gift of community/joint/marital property is assumed. That’s how a lot of guys hide cash ... with their friends,family, and affair partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:52 PM
9

Yes. These groups exist all over the internet. I wish FDS had a place to list some of them - ladies in DV situations both need to know where to have their lawyers look .... and could use some of the tips themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:49 PM
8

And that prenup override is one trial - 10-50k in cash - then when it’s gone, expect a Second trial over the property (another huge chunk of cash).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:47 PM
1

You wouldn’t be lying!!! 😂 I think it’s the last sentence that seems like one I’ve seen on a mlm pitch before. I’m also pretty averse to MLMs so not everyone is going to be as cantankerous about sales pitches. FWIW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:59 AM
4

This. It’s like they can just smell the other men circling you and it definitely sharpens them up. They also are a lot more cautious about pressuring you for sex if there are other guys, in my experience. So it’s hard to date one guy at a time and not sleep with him, but it’s super easy to date two or three men simultaneously and not sleep with any of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:21 AM
5

Oh this is a good idea! I’m going to read all scrote quotes in a butters-esque style from here on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:18 AM
22

🤣🤣🤣🤣 That was a wild ride, ngl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 12:17 AM
8

Exactly. He’s not marking his territory because you can’t transfer ownership of yourself to anyone else. He’s reserving your time for himself. You’re deciding how much. It’s a time block, that’s it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:17 PM
3

I’ve tossed it out there here and there! I really hope this template works for a lot of folks. If I received it, I’d assume it was an MLM and definitely not ever check it out. But that’s probably a me problem. 🤣🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:15 PM
10

I keep going back to the dog owner analogy. Maybe you’ve had a dream dog - sweet, cooperative, house trained, loving, never tore anything up. And maybe you’ve had a nightmare dog - won’t housetrain, barks constantly, ate your sofa, chomped your ankles, and killed the neighbors’ cat. Because you’re the owner, aside from a few adjustments to the type of dog, your treatment of them probably didn’t change dramatically. If you’re a good owner, you took them to the vet, got them groomed, fed them dece…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:08 PM
7

I may be petty, but my immediate advice is to go have a sleepover with a hot guy who is now your best friend (shouldn’t be a tough role to cast). Worst case, boyfriend is a liar. Best case, she has a new boyfriend already!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:56 PM
378

That’s still not as horrible as the ones who immediately go, “well, I’m so sorry your dad/husband/ex/neighbor/doctor/milkman/dog’s vet abused you so horribly that you’ve adopted these bitter, hateful, warped delusions about the half of humanity who are longing to protect and support you in all of your female womanessy girl life titsperiences. Peace unto you, sad rape victim.” 🥴 🙄🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:54 PM
81

This is super common. Judith Wallerstein’s studies of families post-divorce keep highlighting this as a trend for dads. It’s either a kid he can bang or a woman he can bang who has kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:46 PM
26

Sexualizing yourself for male viewers is not new - and historically is wildly ineffective at genuinely converting men into feminists. I agree with you that it’s not helping at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:16 PM
31

I think women should just center ourselves in our clothing choices. What I mean by that is we typically discuss clothing along a “modest ———— sexy” spectrum, but those are different components of the same thing, which is dressing around the male gaze/penis. The only way to not penalize ourselves is to dress for our lives - clothing should be comfortable and facilitate your goals for the day. If your goal is to be taken seriously at work, you choose shoes that allow you to walk confidently and qu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:15 PM
4

Have a faux wedding ring. Use it liberally if it will help - wear when repair people or strangers are at the door. Find a great therapist - the healing takes a longer time than you’d expect, and a compassionate, experienced guide through emotional recovery from DV is invaluable. You’ll hit a time when the DV resources are keeping you locked into a world that isn’t yours anymore. When that does happen (usually 1-5 years after leaving, but everyone is unique), it’s okay to let go. Other survivors …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:44 AM
17

Well, it sounds like he is a walking fart, so his wish list should be easy to come by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:18 AM
3

Is she citing her sources now? That’s my only gripe with some of her product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:08 AM
9

This made me laugh because it’s definitely been my experience on both coasts!!! California drove me insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:07 AM
8

Religion can be a very powerful tool for psychopaths and narcissistic people to gain the control they do deeply desire, so they’ve always been drawn to it and shaped its development and “implementation” in every culture. It doesn’t surprise me that you’re seeing parallels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:05 PM
14

Honestly, if I could have one superpower, projectile vomiting on command wouldn’t be the worst thing....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:17 PM
14

Thank you for mentioning this. If numbers are of interest, women of color are four times more likely to be victims of domestic violence or male assault
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:08 PM
5

A big rule that we always follow in my house after escaping a guy like this and now raising sons is: We don’t debate our emotions. We don’t debate our internal impressions, thoughts or feelings. They are what they are. You are the only and final authority on your emotional and mental insides. Only the person feeling or thinking those things knows what they are. You can share them or not share them, but we don’t pretend that we can crawl inside each other’s skin and pitch a lawn chair in their br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:05 PM
7

Any perpetrator with patterns of behavior that point to antisocial personality disorder and sadism should automatically be monitored and have a hair-trigger possibility of being imprisoned the second they inevitably violate the rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:56 PM
10

This. It’s fairly common knowledge in philanthropy circles that contribute to causes in the developing world that investing in women is investing in the community and next generation- women use their money for their children first, their families second, their communities third. Giving to men is giving to men - good men leave for more developed pastures (sometimes leaving women and children to fend for themselves) to pursue success, and the bad men drink or gamble the money away. All that to say…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:53 PM
6

Yeah the Old Testament God/ Judaic God /Allah are all fairly similar to some of the more vengeful Greek and Hindu gods, tbh. Christianity softens that with an intercessor, and some other religions /sects follow a similar path. But it’s a harsh read either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:49 PM
25

Women’s punishment was also the “desire for her husband but he will rule over you” .... in other words, we were cursed with a desire for a man, even when it’s generally almost always in our worst interest to want one instead of putting our own lives and purposes and children first. TLDR: women were cursed with pickmeism for eating the apple. Also that childbirth thing (which we have epidurals for now).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:47 PM
119

She’s not wrong. 🤷🏼‍♀️ it interesting that something this incredibly obvious is considered offensive. But so much of the violence against women really isn’t. What’s the saying about look for the group that you can’t criticize to determine who it is that really rules over you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:44 PM
91

Pretty much this. Women historically were pretty harsh judges of underperforming men because men determined everything about a woman’s life (and this is still the case in some countries today) - where she lived, who she talked to, how she dressed, how she was treated, whether she starved, whether her kids starved, whether she and her kids worked themselves to death in their youth. EVERYTHING. Men with no money and no prospects and no anything had prostitution and life as sailors or whatever they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:41 PM
1

Oh wow. Thanks for mentioning the user name. That is awesome!!! 🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:36 PM
3

I’m so glad!!! ❤️ it’s so validating to have a name for the whole experience, isn’t it? Evan Stark’s book “Coercive Control” sets out an entire framework for how coercive control is a violation of human rights. It’s a bit academic but so healing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:24 PM
39

Because women exist for men’s use, and we hesitate to hold a man responsible for how he uses his possessions. The UK just threw out a proposal this week that would have created a batterer registry and would have required mandatory training on domestic violence for all judges. They said it might infringe on a judge’s “discretion.” The legal mindset is wildly archaic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:52 AM
71

After the shooting, he somehow got across that city to a suburb where, instead of being arrested by city police, he would be arrested by his old cronies who worked with his former employer. The judge that failed to take his wife’s and daughter’s pleas for their lives seriously is named Judge Karen Sage, who then admitted to the media that she commonly allows the removal of tracking bracelets from violent men if they don’t commit crimes during a month or two period. This is a man previously jaile…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:09 PM
18

Yes!!! I wish there were a way to get every woman to google the term “coercive control” and read up on it thoroughly. It’s almost entirely rooted in gaslighting and if you have that down, you start to pick up on it everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:00 PM
84

I’m envisioning women everywhere showing up to walk dates with garbage bags and trash grabbers and now I can’t stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣 love the energy of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:57 PM
6

So much this. Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:51 PM
24

So funny / embarrassing story. I entered a marriage pre-nude request trends and exited it after (to my utter ignorance) nudes were common. The first time a complete stranger that Id just said hi to asked me to send NAKED PHOTOGRAPHS OF MY BODY TO HIM OVER THE INTERNET, I assumed he was a trafficker or flasher or predator, chatted to gather more info on him, then went to the local police website and filed an online police report on the guy. Clearly, he was a predator and needed a paper trail. My …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:44 PM
12

“Excuse me.. miss? Miss. Excuse me. We are doing a survey. Do you know if you have any vacuoles? No? What about a Gräfenberg Spot? No? What about a cubital node?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:37 PM
29

This!!! Masturbation is normal. Porn is not. Porn is using women as a condiment for other experiences - we’re used with masturbation, dining out (Hooters), vehicle customization (naked lady mudflats), socializing with friends (corporate strip club trips). All of those things are porn, all of them damage men’s minds and sexuality by turning women into consumables and commodities, by dehumanizing us. Not all of them involve masturbation, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:34 PM
64

I hate the mindset behind it and I hate this is the solution instead of fines and jail time for harassment.... But I’m kind of loving the actual shoes. I’d wear these to a corporate meeting any day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:13 PM
26

I wonder how many times he counted himself in his numbers. He probably spent the whole study watching porn “for science.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:12 PM
82

Maybe it’s all this Keto diet stuff... 🤔 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:10 PM
58

Idk. 22 is a little old for these spicy snacks. Nothing like a fresh 18 to motivate dadbod in the gym! /ssssssss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:09 PM
73

Wow, the clown music started playing as soon as I opened this post. It’s right up there with all the old historic science about how bicycling harms women’s health and delivery doctors washing hands is not necessary to prevent maternal death and how POC don’t feel physical pain as acutely. The same science that thinks birth control has too many side effects tor men, and that pressures women to breastfeed while also inducing labor or performing non-emergency c-sections which themselves contraindic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:07 PM
19

Yes, some states made an arrest during DV calls mandatory - since the woman is likely to be even more battered after police leave - and it turned into a scenario where the women were highly likely to be the ones arrested (which would then be used to take her custody away when she did try to leave the abuser). Never underestimate male ability to twist literally anything to use it to control a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:02 PM
24

Yes. Always vet first for whether women are seen as possessions or as people. Some men take good care of their possessions. Until the possession gets broken and has to be replaced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:51 AM
58

Protector from what? Bears? Men are not going to protect you from men, generally. They never were. Especially not for free. Honestly, the nerve to even think we would buy that nonsense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:49 AM
21

Sandra L Brown would also be great - she has programs for women leaving psychopathic men. She’s be a good resource for the healing process as well as what to look for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:44 AM
5

It would be great to hear episodes with Tina Swithin and Phylis Chesler. Bell hooks. Even an episode dedicated to discussing “coercive control,” which a lot of people don’t recognize as relevant until it’s too late.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:41 AM
31

Considering the types of batterers he goes up against (more psychopathic types), something this vague doesn’t seem highly credible. His entire career is built around supporting a highly hated and marginalized demographic that even our courts and law enforcement victimize and exploit. He’s made a lot of enemies. If a woman comes forward, I’ll believe her. But hearsay is what I’d expect from his many detractors who’ve been forced to deal with being publicly outed as batterers and child molestors b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:40 AM
3

It sounds like a lot of women here are fairly invested in Mulan, lol! It’s a story of a young girl sacrificing / risking her well-being for her family. That’s not really modern or unusual, historically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:31 PM
7

There’s nothing wrong with being female. (There’s also not one uniform way to be female - “woman” encompasses a vast range of personalities, desires, looks, strengths and weaknesses.). We don’t have to earn respect by moving closer to being male. Being a woman isn’t something to be overcome. It’s not a flaw. We don’t have to “earn” respect from men by not having too much of the traits that men have labeled “female” (and then decided are less deserving of respect). Being true to ourselves will lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:23 PM
8

He’s definitely a NVM. Not even a LVM. I hated that that was all Mulan had to choose from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 02:02 PM
24

Or mothers who don’t get killed early on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:55 PM
20

Well, it’s been ages since I’ve seen it, but my lasting impressions were - The hero that gets the girl is singing that he will make a man out of Mulan. Mulan exceeds the men’s skills - that’s her journey - and that’s what exempts her from her culture and family expectations of women as less. It presents womanhood as derivative of masculinity - like, if you take maleness and remove some of its qualities (bravery, strength, autonomy, assertiveness), then you get a woman. Ergo, women who overcome t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:14 PM
-4

I still feel like Mulan has a lot of the libfem “women who can beat men on men’s playing field are the women deserving of respect” messages. I didn’t let my sons watch it (or much of anything) back in the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:56 PM
43

That’s a really creepy part of the story, NGL. But I always assumed her fairy godmother was a pro at facial contouring, momentary Botox (scrubbing out chimneys is hard on even a 17-year-olds skin), and magnetic lashes, that her dress came with magical spanx and a killer add-a-cup water bra, and of course she had some moisturizing masks for her hair to get the soot stains out, so it makes more sense that the Prince wouldn’t immediately clock her on sight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:54 PM
26

I mean, having to do housekeeping and nothing but housekeeping all day every day is absolute hell. I’d have married anyone to get out of that. If she’d run off with the blind town blacksmith, props to you, Cindy, enjoy your downtime, girl. Worth noting that Cinderella’s mother does meet most criteria for “coercive control.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:51 PM
1

This is good to know. Thanks for clarifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:45 PM
11

Wait, what?! Did you just search the title? I can’t get anything. There’s so much good stuff on DV and women’s rights coming out of Australia and I’ve become resigned to ordering the books hard copy and waiting for them to make it over. ETA: wow it just pulled up for me! I wasn’t getting anything yesterday or prior. Weird. Thanks for cluing me in!! ordering NOW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:26 PM
3

I agree. It’s so frustrating to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:25 PM
7

Really? Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:24 PM
11

I think that’s some of it. The pushback against 2nd wave feminism included a LOT of invalidation along the lines of “she’s unattractive/not conventionally attractive, so of course she’s saying this out of bitterness over being rejected.” So I think we see women trying to invalidate that by proving that they can be (a) conventionally attractive AND (b) feminist. (Also, it’s going to drive a lot more views if you’re showing something in process in the background - how many of us watched to see the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:48 PM
41

Thanks for pointing this out. The conflating of female sexuality with actual criminal acts can’t end soon enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:36 PM
16

It’s like the focus is still on men or communicating to men. I love FDS because that’s just not a priority here, which is such a wildly rare experience when you’re female. It has soured me on other feminist spaces where I’m still supposed to remain aware of/honor the male gaze, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:32 PM
6

It depresses me a bit too, you’re not alone. 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:54 PM
26

Girl, idk. I’m glad they’re getting the message out. Combining it with trying to look traditionally (male-gaze-centered) hot just .... doesn’t fit? It’s like reading Dworkin while showing off your pole dancing moves to me, but I’ll readily admit that I’m out of touch with Gen Z. At least girls this age are getting this info - that’s the most important thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:30 PM
6

You’d think, but I’ve seen so many female judges do the same. It’s evil, regardless. I’m so sorry they did that to you and your child. It’s unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:22 AM
52

There are several news articles featuring her ideas and her book. She’s also the featured guest on episode 116 of the “Engendered” podcast. I’d link but I’m not entirely clear on what I can and can’t link here and don’t want to make more work for the mods. Her roots are criminal forensic psychology and mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:20 AM
17

It’s pretty much everyone on Instagram, I think. I almost never see material credited. @fem1na and @radfem.content usually share credit, and no posturing for makeup sales, which I’m a little too old to not be turned off by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:03 AM
125

She is absolutely brilliant. I can’t wait for her book to come out in the US - “Why Women are Blamed for Everything.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:01 AM
25

That’s an impressive step from an executive team as male as MasterCards. Good for them. https://www.mastercard.com/news/press/executive-bios/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:20 AM
15

Wtf?!?! Pretty sure “emasculated his emotions” isn’t a legal cause of action. Did she get her legal degree at Scrotes R Us Law School?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:15 AM
21

Every time she says, hardcore deadpan, “I don’t care” - full stop - to something about men, I can’t stop cackling!!! It’s so refreshing. The whole podcast makes my day. 🤣🤣👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:10 AM
14

It isn’t even the labor that’s killing me here. It’s that he didn’t see her doing the work. He literally did not notice what she did. Over and over. In front of him. I think about working in a corporate environment- where everyone studies every move the boss makes like their lives depend on it, and the boss rolls in after you’ve done that for five years and gets your name wrong before they go, “And what do you do again?” The fact that he literally does not see her as she services his environment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:24 PM
2

I’ll have to watch that. I do love a happy ending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:36 PM
1

Bridgerton is not even in the past and has problematic themes. I think Shonda knows what sells and that’s what she’s producing. When there are more FDS-ers than pickmes, maybe she will start writing for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:35 PM
2

They’re dumpster fires now, but for their time, were definitely a step away from Phyllis schlafley-type views that dominated most arenas then. It’s a huge positive that we’re now able to see issues with this, SATC, and the other big hits of 20-30 years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:32 PM
1

I agree with all your points! I think we are on the same page. Hopefully his wife doesn’t do that, but short term, I’d hope she’s surrounded by a lot of grace. You know she’s in immense pain right now and hurting people can say some really dumb stuff while they’re getting themselves sorted. (She’s also well within her rights to throw under the bus any specific woman who knowingly cheated with her husband.) Long-term, yes, I would hope she moves forward, just because her own life and kids are wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:11 PM
1

Hugh Hefner has admitted multiple times to sleeping with men. It’s insane that he build a career and culture on sex with women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:06 AM
5

I feel like Ching Shih’s history is a lot more frank about what managing a bunch of men was like for women back in the day. The good gals’ accounts are always really vague about how they “faced down an uprising.” https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-chinese-female-pirate-who-commanded-80000-outlaws
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:56 AM
2

It does seem like she’s reading from a prompter or cue cards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:38 AM
1

Meh, herspective also posts a LOT of classic feminist authors’ work and doesn’t credit them either. I’ve seen Dworkin, Steinem, and Friedman on her feed multiple times, zero credit (but links on where to buy her makeup, which I assume she gets a percentage for). I agree with a lot of her material, but it’s also stuff I agreed with the first time I read/watched/heard it from its originator. I also saw her go after this specific video (which yes - should credit her sources) as a white woman, but t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:26 AM
11

This would make an excellent sticky. It’s absolute truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:21 AM
27

I am watching someone do this right now. His thirteen year old son just said, “Yeah, I don’t think she’s the sort that dad wants to marry,” when I asked about her during his last “play date” here. Meanwhile she’s uprooting her life (and her kids lives) for this guy, moving, and thinks I and my friends group are “a little hard on men sometimes; I’m not really into the feminist thing.” It’s definitely not rare. (Also, listen to other women, ladies, please!!!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:15 AM
2

This is so uplifting!!! These kinds of posts here are so healing and give me so much joy. She and her husband (and kiddos) sound like major #goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:01 AM
1

You can only appreciate energy that’s at your own level. Which we mostly are not - we are lifegivers and (in Christianity anyway) “SWAT teams” (and many religions attribute power to women in their original forms) - our souls and the way they shape our communities and their futures are very powerful. I think men see that better than we do and often are wildly jealous. Their avenues to power are much narrower, shallower, and shorter lived, for the most part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:08 PM
1

I agree with the spirit of your post entirely. My little quibbles, because I get hung up on language easily: DJ isn’t experiencing a downfall. He’s experiencing consequences. A downfall would be something else entirely. You cannot FDS- principle a man into being someone he not already. DJ’s wife may be living according to every word he preaches. You (royal you) may someday achieve perfect FDS-rules relationship skills. The same man who would cheat on you before will cheat on you then. We cannot …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:32 PM
7

“Think like a man, look like a woman” = them tits are FINE, but we need the rest of your brain, soul, spirit and personality to go away. Can you die without your body being dead? Cuz that’d be awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 05:06 PM
5

Interesting!!! I don’t often hear of women approving of all aspects of their mother’s parenting style when they see her approach to their own son or daughter. It’s great that you’ve been able to maneuver the complexities of parenthood with her expertise as a guide, as I’m sure you’ve already come to realize! So many new mothers don’t have that present support for their own motherhood journey. You’re very lucky!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 04:59 PM
3

What parenting techniques have you found most effective with your own children so far?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:56 PM
12

Every child, parent and family environment is unique. What’s ideal for one child will be warping and unkind for another child. If you’re the mother, your evaluation of what your child needs is far far more likely to be accurate than that of a random internet human like ourselves. It’s okay to trust that a mother knows what she’s doing and has chosen well, because she definitely loves her own child far more than we love her child. 😄👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:55 PM
14

No. You cannot “nice” a man into being a better human than he actually is for the entire duration of a relationship. You also can’t force a good man to treat you like trash by being human, vulnerable and not having a shield up. We avoid pickme behavior because it benefits US. It benefits WOMEN. We don’t do it because of its affect on men, positive or negative. In fact, suggesting that pickmeishas are to blame for male behavior is just the same old blame shifting in which we move a man’s responsi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:52 PM
16

No. I don’t have any use for shy adults. Sorry. We all have insecurities and we all know that strangers literally statistically dedicate a total of 10% of their thought life to everyone who isn’t them, collectively. Which means you get 2 seconds of actual thought from everyone you meet. A man can be shy. It’s fine of course. But he’s not ready to date just yet- therapy might be a good course of action if that’s his issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:46 PM
14

I think that idolization is a hangover from the days when male validation was what enabled you to have a roof over your kids heads and food in everyone’s belly. So, like, our grandmothers’ time.... Massive appreciation to all of the women before us who worked hard and risked so much so I could have other options. I hope my generation does you proud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:43 PM
3

That sounds fairly Americanized. Most extended family who were conservative Muslim didn’t shake hands with the opposite sex. It’s kind of a relief, but that culture has plenty of its own unique ways of crapping all over women, so I can’t endorse this approach to social life either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:41 PM
21

I want to be thrilled. I’m just terrified that the family law courts will twist this to somehow penalize women. That’s how most of these changes have gone so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:40 PM
33

Sigh. Man: almost all men are shitballs capable of exploiting a woman and hurting her life. Be wary. Public: YAY!!!! OMG, it’s a Good Man (TM). Women: a lot of men can be very dangerous. Vet carefully. Public: MISANDRY!!! You fat lonely man hater!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:32 PM
8

I’d say read “Predators” by Anna Salter and “women who love psychopaths” by Sandra L Brown. You’re not going to find the red flags list for this type of guy in the Lundy Bancroft book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:02 PM
6

I wonder if her DMs are open. Would it be creepy to reach out and ask if she’s ok? I’m worried. She sounds very isolated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:00 PM
6

I do think this is probably psychopathy. Granted, I lack some of the acronyms needed to diagnose formally, but it’s a step beyond basic batterer behaviors, tbh. Lazy, insecure, unempathetic, exploitative, entitled, self-benefitting behaviors strike me as fairly median lifestyles among most men. Assuming she only knows about 10% of what this guy has done to and around her, what’s here is already dramatically worse than average mediocre male behavior. I’d be willing to bet a solid background check…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:58 PM
6

And she may have been someone who would fight back initially. He’s been working on her for years. Sandra L Brown’s book “Women who love Psychopaths” goes into the types of women these men target (they have a lot of strong, positive qualities) and how they consume her strengths then dispose of her (which is the stage that this post seemed to be at).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:56 PM
8

It’s pretty common. Definitely keep an eye out for any symptoms related to your food allergies. Particularly if you’ve shared your allergies with your partner (or coworker, nanny, assistant, etc.). Abusing that trust is pretty standard in the DV situations I’ve seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:51 PM
9

Right. Evil exists. I’m always so surprised that people are super resistant to acknowledging actual evil when they encounter it. Of course it looks like a human and uses the bathroom just like you! It also trafficks children to be raped, sells people for organ harvesting, walks through a brothel choosing the next child it will abuse for 30 minutes. It also puts a lot of energy into hiding how evil it is ... unlike you, these monsters know exactly who they are. They just know you’d never suspect …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:45 PM
6

I promise he’s giving her maybe 10% of what he’s actually done. The more she digs, the more horror she’s going to find.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:45 PM
3

There’s less frontal lobe activity - so less mirroring, less empathy, and less bonding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:44 PM
23

Because it’s excruciating to admit all that you poured into and loved about someone who daydreams about your death. Think about what a stupid chump you feel like when you get cheated on for years, all while planning your future together. Magnify that by a million. Then go experience everyone’s disbelief when you share your pain and rage - surely he wasn’t THAT deranged, there’s two sides to everything, maybe watch fewer Lifetime movies, it’s not that dramatic IRL - and it’s the most isolated emo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:39 PM
38

“Experiments” sounds to me like the kind of dehumanizing twists that most batterers give to their spouses when asked to explain their inhumanity. He knew exactly what he was doing. I strongly suspect he’s her beneficiary in the event of her death on any number of legally binding documents. I’d bet my own retirement on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:36 PM
7

Medieval acts deserve medieval punishments. 🤷🏼‍♀️🏹🤺🎭🎯🛶🪝🚧🌋🗜🧯🛢🪛🔧🔨⚒🛠⛏🪚⚙️💣🔫⛓🪓🔪🗡⚰️ 🚬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:34 PM
5

I’m seriously praying someone who works with DV survivors will reach out to her directly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:31 PM
8

Technically, this is torture. If something wouldn’t be allowed in a prisoner of war camp under the Geneva Convention, it’s probably torture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:30 PM
11

And hitting someone is battery. Let a man do it to a woman in the woman’s own home and sanctuary though .... and watch the courts “meh” harder than they have ever “meh”ed before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:29 PM
21

Yep. Every cop knows that if a woman dies or vanishes, it’s the husband. It’s always the husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:24 PM
16

She’s likely surrounded by men of the same type. I find that allowing one NVM a central role in your life seems to ensure that every other male - from your mechanic to the cousins that show up at holidays - emerges loud and proud as a NVM. Thankfully it works with HVM also. Men are usually pretty pack-oriented. Hopefully she registers what a HVM feels like and presents as soon, so she can start stripping these remnants of his psychopathy out of her daily life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:22 PM
9

The shocking thing is that there’s love .... then affinity .... then indifference ..... then dislike ..... then hate .... then a desire to murder. He skipped right to the opposite end of the spectrum from love and she’s so indoctrinated by our patriarchal culture that she’s still searching for random indications that maybe he was just at the indifferent range .... or the dislike range. No, sis, he wanted you DED. Take him off your life insurance and any retirement fund disbursements immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:20 PM
24

He should be tried and convicted for attempted murder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:03 PM
7

Omg, I hope she finds a good therapist who is experienced in helping survivors of domestic violence. It infuriates me that we expect women to j-lo-movie-esqe a new life immediately after they leave a war zone where they’ve been confined, isolated, poisoned, tortured, starved, sleep deprived and fed endless propaganda. OF COURSE she’s struggling - of course she has rabid levels of C-PTSD. I so hope she can find a therapist to model compassion and emotional validation for her experience, so she ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:03 PM
6

How much of her suicidal ideation and OCD vanished a couple months after she left him, do we think? 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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