"How come you are still single?"

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2021-07-16T10:54:54+00:00

I feel like this is a question that HVM would not ask. To me, this is a red flag type question.

veruscka · 2021-07-16T11:36:00+00:00

What if you acted like it’s a rhetorical question and just didn’t answer? Like you don’t have to be rude or anything, but sometimes if someone asks me an invasive question I just kind of smile and wait for them to change the subject. As women we’re conditioned to resolve tension when it arises and quickly answering a rude question is part of that. But you don’t actually have to answer.

proudpine · 2021-07-16T10:50:17+00:00

“Just lucky I guess”

08__80 · 2021-07-16T12:41:41+00:00

I say really weird and awkward things to that question like:

"Because nobody wanted me." (Fake pout mocking the asker.)

"I'm too young to get married." (I'm in my 40's)

"Why would I get married?" (With a WTF is wrong with you? facial expression.)

It shuts people up real quick.

fireforestfairy · 2021-07-16T11:12:42+00:00

teachers

What? It's odd for a teacher to ask that.

thehappiestelephant · 2021-07-16T13:01:20+00:00

Either "just lucky I guess :)" if I can tell they meant well.

If I get the vibe it's because I "should" be coupled, I like to ask "why not?" and leave it at that.

thruawoo90210 · 2021-07-16T12:18:39+00:00

"why are you still married?"

Boondersnoontch · 2021-07-16T14:54:46+00:00

I was asked this by a men who went on to reveal that he had only JUST divorced his wife 4 months prior and also lost custody of 3 foster children. He was an emotional wreck. Obviously he kept all of that off of his public profile. Men who you are dating who ask this ARE PROJECTING. It’s because they have skeletons in the closet and they assume you must be doing the same. They’re telling on themselves. Run. Like someone else said, HVM don’t ask this because they don’t get intimidated by women or have anything to hide themselves so they won’t assume you do.

Spittens · 2021-07-16T14:22:21+00:00

I use this as a vetting tool. Most guys take my most honest answer "I haven't found a man that can match my energy yet" the wrong (ie: sexual) way.

I always mean, one that can match my intelligence, heart, kindness, generosity, and drive. None of which has to do with libido. But if he immediately goes to sex as that answer, then I know where his head is at and I can block & delete.

MissouriBlue · 2021-07-16T14:20:44+00:00

“Sheer dint of will.” 😳

“I’ve not found anyone that actually improves my level of life yet.”

“What an intriguing question.”

theterminatress · 2021-07-16T11:56:13+00:00

I give one liner answers.

“Eh just too busy to navigate dating in COVID times.” “Just haven’t gotten around to addressing it.” “Must be because I rarely date.” “Not sure. Eh, whatever!”

At least for me being lighthearted and vague gets them off my ass and I can go on with my day.

CitrusandMint · 2021-07-16T17:41:26+00:00

In my country there is a popular belief "Any man is better than no man". To that I just say "No man is better than any man". I don't want just any man, I want a good one, HVM. If I can't have that, I'm good just by myself.

elementalvirago · 2021-07-16T11:55:03+00:00

This has been a recent topic lately. Check this and this for more answers.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-07-16T15:05:39+00:00

"Just lucky I guess" said playfully with a big smile usually does the trick

EclecticBarbarella · 2021-07-16T15:19:59+00:00

“I haven’t found a guy that I can tolerate for longer than a month or two. I’d much rather just do my own thing than try to force something”. Said with a smile 😌

fknbtch · 2021-07-16T17:17:57+00:00

single is the default. we are literally born that way. so dumb to ask why you're the most common default relationship status and it's such a cheap obvious ploy at a half assed compliment combined with a "what's wrong with you".

she_is_munchkins · 2021-07-16T15:24:15+00:00

I usually say "I haven't met anyone worth dating". But lately I've been thinking that I don't even need to give an answer; it's a rude and invasive question. Honestly anyone who asks "Why are you (insert personal trait that doesn't even need reasoning or explaining)" is an a$~hole. Whether on purpose or not, they're trying to call you out on a supposed "flaw" (in their opinion anyway), and that's rude.

ussr_ftw · 2021-07-16T19:49:24+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: a fantastic answer to get them to back off is:

"Oh, I'm crazy".

Creepy smile and ice cold gaze.

Works every time

FilibusterQueen · 2021-07-17T01:35:58+00:00

Last time a guy asked me if I was married, I said:

“Oh yes, several times. Pity they all died so young” while playing with my grandma’s diamond necklace 😂

shoo_coworker · 2021-07-16T13:19:25+00:00

I like to say "I like to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to wait or plan around anyone else. It's very freeing."

On top of that, I dress eclectically and have a different hair color every week, and many of my female friends and coworkers say "wow, you look great! My boyfriend would never let me do that..." Which just proves my point!!!

Austenma · 2021-07-16T16:54:08+00:00

"that's none of your business."

IvyLeagueButt · 2021-07-16T14:04:31+00:00

"I decided I don't need the dead weight"

Or straight up "that's a weird question to ask :)"

But I am a confrontational person so take it as you will queens

melonmagellan · 2021-07-16T14:26:50+00:00

Because I value agency and autonomy which is the primary reason for my divorce.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-07-16T16:47:34+00:00

“I don’t take anyone’s shit.”

andwhenwillitbegin · 2021-07-16T14:03:50+00:00

First of all: red flag.

Second, if it’s not a red flag for some reason, I would answer, “no one I have found has been good enough”.

I hate that our society says if a woman is single there must be something wrong with her rather than the men she has met. It’s like no, a lot of women are single because a lot of men aren’t good enough.

myoklife · 2021-07-16T16:15:49+00:00

How dare you be entitled to living your life the way you want in such a way that affects absolutely no one!

To answer your Q: I respond "I don't have time for a serious relationship." It says "I have a fulfilling, busy life and I'm not sacrificing any of it for anyone" without saying it ;)

raphaellastorm · 2021-07-16T18:43:18+00:00

A lady last night that is a friend of my mom and I grew up around asked me if I have “someone special in my life.” I said no and she so awkwardly said “well, I’m sure you’ll meet someone soon.” She is actually also single in her 60s and has been forever and I really wanted to say “Maybe not, most men are absolutely terrible,” but I refrained.

MeanCow6 · 2021-07-16T21:47:49+00:00

"Why do you ask?"

That's a good response to all sorts of invasive questions.

SlayOfSunshine · 2021-07-16T18:57:07+00:00

“The average man is intimated by my gorgeousness and charm”

FUBARfromLSA · 2021-07-17T00:18:44+00:00

Basically I’m single because there are no HVM that I have met. So even though I recognize this inappropriate question is meant to somehow shame me I respond with “I know right?“ like I can’t believe there’s no good men either.

VanessaViews · 2021-07-16T20:13:04+00:00

I use to answer this by saying " just lucky I guess"

Ok-Appearance5982 · 2021-07-16T23:23:12+00:00

“I don’t have an answer for that” “I don’t know how to respond to you” and then talk about something else. “ It happens” “That’s a weird question to ask”

SkiesEclipse · 2021-07-17T08:29:14+00:00

I’d just say, “I don’t know, what do YOU think is wrong with me?” Say nothing else and just stare. Most people with half a brain will realize how rude of a question that was, and will back peddle and start showering you with compliments lol.

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2021-07-17T10:47:58+00:00

Because nothing is better than my solitude.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-07-18T07:55:08+00:00

I normally say that I'm currently out of freezer space due to my ex boyfriends' appendages 😂 I then go on to complain about how I have no time to clean it out due to my busy schedule with a completely straight face.

If I'm in more polite company I say it's because I have standards.

Fearless-Cookie · 2021-07-18T12:58:54+00:00

Maybe ask them “why are you not?” and look at them extremely concerned and mortified. But jokes aside… Usually I tend not to want to reveal much to people I don’t care much about, like colleagues. So I will give ambiguous answers which is up for them to think whether Im single or not. Like, “oh Im seeing some people”, when you talk about things I did over the weekends with my mum, I would go “Oh, we went here and here”, without specifying who are “we”, so it’s up to them to assume. The reason why Im doing this is that I don’t wanna waste my breath on these people and usually they have a very specific way of seeing the world (i.e being attachéd and married is the right thing), so no matter what reason you gave, they will always have some to counter or some advice to give.

Title	"How come you are still single?"
Author	mynameisrominka
Upvotes	341
Comments	75
Date	July 16, 2021 10:47 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oleeua/how_come_you_are_still_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-come-you-are-still-single.793094 https://theredarchive.com/post/793094

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