~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Study finds that being muscular does not increase attractiveness for short men.This. Literally all the short men I know personally are either married to or in relationships with great women. What they all have in common: they’re great guys that women universally like, as friends, work colleagues and partners. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/23 07:42 PM |
| 1 | I truly believe that if sexwork was decriminalized, and normalized, a lot of people would be happierTruth. I’m just reporting what SWs have told me in terms of men’s expectations (and their resentment and disappointment when it’s not part of the “service.”) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/23 01:19 AM |
| 1 | Women look for traditional gender values in a man even when they claim otherwiseOh yeah. There’s all kinds of research on it. Easily findable if you Google it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/23 04:41 PM |
| 4 | I truly believe that if sexwork was decriminalized, and normalized, a lot of people would be happierYep, this. (As someone bicultural) The thing is, a lot of men can’t actually afford to pay for regular sex work. So it doesn’t benefit them even if it’s available, legal or not. Also, I regularly see men complaining about how they visited sex workers and it was a “cold” and short experience. They seem to have the mistaken idea that they’re going to get a “girlfriend experience” without having to pay a LOT more money. There appears to be some confusion about the fact that sex work is a JOB for th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/23 03:56 PM |
| 0 | Women look for traditional gender values in a man even when they claim otherwiseI think there are nuances to this. Which I’ll speak to as a professional woman who doesn’t date much. The “equal or more income than me” thing is pretty common among professional woman, but it’s not because we want or need a “provider.” It’s because, statistically, women who earn good incomes are FAR more likely to be abused by men who earn less. All of us have been through dating situations where we were fine with a man who earned less and he wasn’t and became demeaning or controlling in an att… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/23 03:14 PM |
| 2 | Women are happiest single, therefore their dating issues are irrelevantHistory.com? You’re hilarious. Of course you went to a western site to which actual Vietnamese historians don’t contribute. Keep reinforcing your false ideas of male western dominance with Google. And maybe check out the live tweets of the female Ukrainian troops while you’re at it. Have a nice day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/23 11:14 PM |
| 2 | Women are happiest single, therefore their dating issues are irrelevantGoogle isn’t an accurate source on this. My grandfather was a Viet cong general. Women served in combat just as Ukrainian women are now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/23 10:41 PM |
| 2 | Women are happiest single, therefore their dating issues are irrelevantNot true. Source: am Vietnamese American: the Viet women were the reason we won that war. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/23 06:26 PM |
| 2 | Women are happiest single, therefore their dating issues are irrelevantWomen with guns can easily beat men with guns. Women are better at shooting sports. Source: am a woman trained in shooting sports by professional instructors who have all agreed that women are better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/23 04:27 PM |
| 17 | Older women aren’t cock-blocking you. It’s the younger women that just don’t want you.Yeah same. I only offer my opinion/advice when a woman asks me - and I get asked A LOT because people know I have a knack for helping folks get happily married to SUITABLE partners. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 08:46 PM |
| 13 | The Devil’s Advocate! I wish we could delete and block these men in real life situations…Ha, I have gotten a few of those too, almost always after I post something aimed at helping women succeed financially. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 08:36 PM |
| 76 | Older women aren’t cock-blocking you. It’s the younger women that just don’t want you.This is always confusing, because one of the reasons they want a younger woman is that she DOESN’T have earning power and will therefore be dependent on him. But they don’t want gold diggers? Exactly where is that line then? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 07:59 PM |
| 2 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I know SO MANY WOMEN whose sons are like this. Many of them tried repeatedly to instill a work ethic in them and don’t understand why their daughters took it in and their sons didn’t. While their daughters are off in school getting grad degrees and planning to start businesses and nonprofits, their sons are bumming around in vans, smoking weed, quitting any job they do get after 6 months, and hanging out in ski resorts. They’re pulling their hair out. But I know they tried hard, cause their daug… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:45 PM |
| 32 | Financial abuse by male relatives and friends.Thanks. You know, I come from nothing, child of a war refugee, WOC, grew up in a VERY white conservative place. I made it. I dedicate every single day to helping other women make it. It’s hella rewarding!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:21 PM |
| 44 | Financial abuse by male relatives and friends.Yep. In addition to this, men with kids who are financially struggling tap women to offset their kid expenses. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:18 PM |
| 4 | This might be unrelated, but has anybody else developed a new substitute addiction since finding FDS?Perfumes are wonderful. I got into good candles this pandemic too. I’m officially a Luckyscent addict. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:16 PM |
| 50 | Financial abuse by male relatives and friends.Yep. My own father tried to keep me from going to college by refusing to give me the financial help my brother got for TWO degrees. Made it anyway, got the two degrees and some certificates and started my own biz. I will not be answering the phone if anyone calls looking for someone to caretake him. Since he supported my brother, my brother can do it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:14 PM |
| 48 | Financial abuse by male relatives and friends.Yep. I know several women who married 6 figure earners and thought they had vetted him thoroughly. They all quit their jobs within 6 months of getting married and the women have been the sole breadwinner ever since. They’re all working on getting divorced now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:12 PM |
| 12 | im so sick of men saying they're viewed as "success objects" and comparing it to how women are viewed as sex objects.This. They’re also angry that their minimal efforts in the workplace no longer get or keep them jobs. Why? There are younger, female, and brown people who do a better job and show up for work and aren’t assholes who now get and keep those jobs. They’re pissed that their laziness is now being held accountable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:10 PM |
| 15 | im so sick of men saying they're viewed as "success objects" and comparing it to how women are viewed as sex objects.THIS. I’m 52. Back when I was still trying to date, most of the men I met were unemployed (coded as “in between gigs” and “consulting”). The ones that were working hated their jobs and/or were dead broke because of kids and divorces. I ain’t rich but I was and am doing substantially better than most men in my age range. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:08 PM |
| 15 | Expensive rent/housing is the biggest proponent for monogamy and cohabitationThere was a whole discussion on a dating group I’m in about how men 50-70 routinely set their age preferences in women to 45 and under. The younger women in the group overwhelmingly reported that these men approach them because they are looking for someone to move in and do housework and cook and take care of their homes - but they also want her to pay half of the bills. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 02:01 PM |
| 15 | Expensive rent/housing is the biggest proponent for monogamy and cohabitationI think that has to do with the newness of women’s power and earning power. Never forget that we couldn’t have our own bank accounts 50 years ago which is in MY lifetime. We are catching up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:55 PM |
| 53 | Expensive rent/housing is the biggest proponent for monogamy and cohabitationI have a handful of single moms as clients who are looking at buying property with other single moms and raising their kids together. They call them “mommunes!” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:53 PM |
| 18 | Expensive rent/housing is the biggest proponent for monogamy and cohabitationI live with a long term non-binary housemate. I like living with others if the temperaments match; it’s more fun than living alone and since I don’t have kids it makes sense for my lifestyle. Houses are a lotta work. I’d not want to do this on my own. It allows me to focus on my career and interests. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:51 PM |
| 26 | Scrote makes up an obviously fake story to make fds look bad, convenient army of comments referencing FDS and "toxic femininity"Self pity is a helluva drug. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:49 PM |
| 38 | Scrote makes up an obviously fake story to make fds look bad, convenient army of comments referencing FDS and "toxic femininity"Right? I’ve never understood this. I spend exactly zero time on male oriented subs. If they want to go their own way, just go! They won’t be missed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:46 PM |
| 29 | Why do men think we are in love with them after 1 date?I’ve done that. Accidentally. Because I was so underwhelmed that I just deleted their # and then forgot about it. The responses were…well…pretty butthurt. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:19 PM |
| 8 | more examples of "subtle negging" and what's in a Neg Sandwich?Yeah this man is 100% lying about that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:15 PM |
| 14 | more examples of "subtle negging" and what's in a Neg Sandwich?Yep. I read op’s post and was like: so is this this guy’s way of letting OP know that he will show up on a nice date in sweatpants just to be hostile toward her efforts? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:14 PM |
| 29 | more examples of "subtle negging" and what's in a Neg Sandwich?Yeah. This stuff is essentially why I stopped dating a few years ago. I run a business. Been self employed for going on 12 years now and have stayed in the black the entire time, thru two major economic crashes as well. I find that when men are bitter and hostile about my being self employed and setting my own schedule (which they almost always are), it’s often because they either failed at “doing their own thing” or had a dream of “not working for the man” that they never did anything meaningfu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:13 PM |
| 44 | What do you guys think of Botox?This!!! I’m in my 50s and people routinely think I’m 10 years younger. No kids, great community, a fitness routine I’m always working on, good diet, lots of water, Korean skincare, and avoiding all LVM! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:05 PM |
| 18 | This might be unrelated, but has anybody else developed a new substitute addiction since finding FDS?Jewelry!!! After a year of pulling people thru COVID I got myself some long coveted statement pieces by John Hardy. Ive really been getting into Korean skincare. I went to a specialist and it turns out I’ve been doing this wrong my whole life. My skin looks and feels better than it ever has! Been working on fitness. My trainer has big goals for me. It’s a journey. Community wise I created and gatekeep a performing and training space for Black and Queer artists that’s COVID safe and this has been… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:03 PM |
| 4 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I actually did not say that- not in the original conversation nor at any other point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 04:48 PM |
| 4 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.No. I’m NOT agreeing with him. I’m explaining to him WHY women are decentering from men, which is a perspective a guy like this is not gonna get from the circles he runs in. I believe preventing the escalation of violence in a Corfu should be the concern of every person that lives in that society. I know so many women who didn’t vote in 2016 because “that could never happen here.” Well, it happened, and so did Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett, the heartbeat bill that goes into effect sep 1. It ALL h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 04:27 PM |
| 3 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I wonder all the time what’s changed. I’m not THAT old but when I was in my 20s and 30s it was not societally OK for men not to work and ESPECIALLY not for them to openly try to mooch off women. It still went on of course but those men were heavily shamed. I don’t understand where this current trend of not wanting to work or do anything at all is coming from. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 04:07 PM |
| 1 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I’ll let the mothers of boys speak to your comment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I’m going to keep pointing out the obvious - this is a dating sub that is intended to help women date men. In real life, getting along with ANYONE means being able to dialogue about things you disagree with without totally losing your shit. I’m not saying it’s easy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 02:04 PM |
| 3 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Oh right, because it’s my job to fix an entire shitty system somehow. How about this: i helped place 6 WOC in power positions last year. Two of them queer. Finance, politics, CEO positions. And I didn’t get them there by teaching them how to scream their lungs out at everyone they don’t agree with. Have a nice day. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:58 PM |
| 3 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.Oh no!!! God that’s the epitome of low effort. I’m so sorry. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:51 PM |
| 1 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.No, I’m not helping this man. He’s a political theory author who has quite a reach. I’m the ONLY radfem he’s willing to listen to. It’s a slow process. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:49 PM |
| 5 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Survival. If they don’t have access to money or education: survival. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:48 PM |
| 0 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Have you ever worked on political issues? I have. Do you mentor and work with people in very difficult political positions - WOC? I do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:47 PM |
| 7 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I’m totally working on that right now with a small pod of local ranchers/farmers/landscapers. Functioning as a hub to connect them to anyone looking for and willing to work, they’re desperate for help. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:46 PM |
| 2 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.The point is that regardless of how it starts we all need to be invested in preventing it. Women do NOT fare well in these situations unless they’re able to arm up, form militias and train etc. my ancestors did this but I have not seen western women even thinking about it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:44 PM |
| 2 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.That’s actually almost the whole crux of the discussion - how the sense of personal responsibility in men has almost completely disappeared and how this is miles away from classic American conservativism. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:41 PM |
| 2 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Maybe this is true for you. Where I live women, all women, are surrounded by white conservatives who hold a lot of power over local policy. You work slowly to influence who you can when you can. It’s how it works here. At least for now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 01:40 PM |
| 9 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Who do you think makes the laws where I live? Who do you think is the most ignorant of our issues? Unless women are planning to purchase arms and land and do a full on women’s secession movement - which is not happening and I don’t see women doing that - what else would you suggest in terms of influencing the overall environment to better things for women? I’m really asking you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:59 PM |
| 16 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I agree with this. The real question is what do we do about the men who have already become adults under the coddling model and are now no longer under parental influence, unless they move back home and are financially dependent (which I actually think is happening and will happen in a lot of cases). But they’re full grown and all their parents can do is kick them out if they won’t work. The question is, who are the men who can influence these men, who DO understand the issues and want to actual… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:38 PM |
| 10 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I understand that. I mean, I’m a direct result of colonization and men’s aggression (child of a war refugee). I’m willing to see what I can do, what influence I can bring to bear, in order to stave off disaster for all of us. it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:35 PM |
| 10 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Right, but isn’t this entire forum about dating men? This presumes that we would in some ways be open to perspectives that are not entirely female. That is what I’m saying. We all live in this world together. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:23 PM |
| 22 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I get that. I often feel the same way. I also know that we don’t live in a world of only women and that i want to get along with men, and this means challenging myself, too. That’s just my own journey. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:19 PM |
| 75 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.He’s concerned about civil war, actually. And I get that concern. My family lived through a 20 year war. It is no joke and there is no one that escapes that when it happens. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:11 PM |
| 22 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.If you think the way to solve a society’s problems is to never listen to perspectives that differ from yours, I don’t know what to say about that. A long time of working on issues in the political arena for other stuff taught me big lessons about that. We were only able to move our issue forward by listening to those we didn’t agree with and working together. That’s just my experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:03 PM |
| 72 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I think there is this misconception that most women want “alphas.” Not only is the “alpha” concept played out and untrue, it’s a misunderstanding of what a lot of women want. What women want is SELF SUFFICIENCY in men: emotional, physical, financial, mental. We want men who stand on their own two feet and take care of themselves. We are overburdened. We cannot take care of those who have the capacity to take care of themsleves. Nor can we partner up with them to have children, it’s just too much… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:02 PM |
| 1 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I understand your point, but I have known this man a long time and I know is always open to dialogue, to having his viewpoint influenced, and that he IS willing to listen and ponder, and will do so with even points of view that are very very challenging to how he was taught to see the world. I strive to be as receptive as he is when he challenges MY views, as this is the only way to work on and solve problems. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 04:00 PM |
| 54 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Yes, I’m worried about this too. There are no longer a lot of Black people where I live but I’m seeing the same issues with White men as well. And where I live it makes no sense at all, because there are tons of jobs right now, good work, good paying work too. I have farmers, ranchers, landscapers, all kinds of men who own businesses coming to me and asking me if I know of any men who can come work. Good pay, on the job training, you don’t have to have a college degree, and it’s proper, traditio… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 03:56 PM |
| 28 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.I told him that I’ve been noticing how many of the rioters are unemployed/living at home with parents etc. These are issues women cannot fix. God knows we have tried, and tried. But we can’t give men a sense of purpose in life, or make them get a job. It’s beyond our scope. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 03:44 PM |
| 62 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.Yes. We talked about this - about how men need nurture but women can no longer provide it. We also talked about how “propping men up” is something that historically women have HAD to do, not WANTED to do, because everywhere in the world that women gain access to birth control and money, the very next thing they do is to stop propping men up. These are not easy conversations to have and a lot of women just don’t have the patience and energy for it. I figure that since I do, I can do my part to in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 03:41 PM |
| 3 | Women are not a rescue plan for men.He is actually a very good man. Different than me politically, much more conservative. I have the spoons to engage these dialogues with men who I know are good men who just don’t understand WHY women are making the choices we are making. He influences a lot of men and will do so even more in the future I think, so I am willing to engage these dialogues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 03:39 PM |
| 6 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.I’ve heard that “masculine energy” thing before. What I think it means: older women are more developed in our careers and have resources and activities we enjoy (you know, like men do) and therefore won’t be spending all of our time taking care of him and catering to his feelings. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 12:25 PM |
| 23 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.I also found the matchmaker’s socials. She is a 64 yo white Boomer and total PickMe with NO positive reviews or success stories on her stuff. It’s all pictures of her along with claims that she’s been in business 12 years. I think the “pimp” idea sounds pretty true, seems like she is trying to get matches for older men in the “lake scene” she’s part of, which is full of bros with STDs and Joe Rogan fans. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 07:21 PM |
| 18 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.Strangely one of the women who wrote a review is one of MY social media friends (what are the chances?) so I think the woman is unfortunately real. Her reviews were…well, let’s say the women were NOT pleased! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 06:43 PM |
| 12 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.I though that too, but I dug up reviews written by other women she had “recruited.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 05:24 PM |
| 39 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.High income people often use them because they don’t want to use dating sites. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 05:12 PM |
| 49 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.She was super aggressive too - kept texting my friend and demanding she meet this guy in person. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 04:55 PM |
| 85 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.I’ll also add that the thing about women lining up to date him is probably a lie. Matchmakers like this heavily fudge their client’s info and essentially trap the women into dates. The photos my friend was sent were all from far away and there were no closeups of his face. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 03:53 PM |
| 58 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.Yep. In many places matchmaking is a completely unregulated and shady industry that caters to incredibly undesirable men who have money. They are mostly unattractive and have kids and they’re usually looking for much younger women without kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 03:52 PM |
| 83 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.The real ones only charge men for the service because they are well aware that men who pay for matchmakers are doing so because they have significant strikes against them that make women not interested in them. Women should NEVER pay for matchmakers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 03:44 PM |
| 9 | Beware of shady matchmakers, ladies.For those who are curious here is the letter I composed on my friend’s behalf. Hello Julia, After carefully reviewing T’s profile, I must decline your offer of a match, as T appears to not actually be a suitable match for not only me but any woman who possesses heart, compassion, and kindness. I noticed the disparities between T’s stated age and also his desires regarding children. I would suggest you clear up with him how old he actually is and whether or not he is open to the delights of becom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 03:39 PM |
| 162 | God the pickmes are REALLY TRYING to hand out p*ssy to their LVM friendsOMG OP. Someone set me up on a blind video date with a friend of hers who she claimed was a “great guy.” —Unemployed —Dirty T shirt —Life plan at 57 is to “buy a house, rent it out and live behind it in a camper van” (Houses in my area cost half a million to 5 million dollars) I really want to know what this bank is that gives Half million dollar loans to unemployed men. I got some ladies who need startup business loans. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 02:26 PM |
| 7 | Ladies, it is NOT "rude" to call men out when your boundaries are being violatedIt is not “dramatic” for a VP in finance to firmly state that the men in the meeting SHE IS LEADING who are her inferiors cannot talk over her. It is appropriate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 01:41 PM |
| 9 | Ladies, it is NOT "rude" to call men out when your boundaries are being violatedOne of my WOC mentees had her first experience of chewing out not only a man, but a whole damn team of men, at her corporate job for talking over here. She was fierce! I’m so ridiculously proud of her! She said, “You WILL NOT TALK OVER ME OR I AM ENDING THIS CALL.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 11:37 PM |
| 35 | Ladies, it is NOT "rude" to call men out when your boundaries are being violatedOne of my WOC mentees had her first experience of chewing out not only a man, but a whole damn team of men, at her corporate job for talking over here. She was fierce! I’m so ridiculously proud of her! She said, “You WILL NOT TALK OVER ME OR I AM ENDING THIS CALL.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 11:36 PM |
| 39 | Men are intimidated by my educationOh yeah. If they don’t get completely triggered and angry they start scheming about how you can financially support them. I allow neither option. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 01:20 PM |
| 186 | Men are intimidated by my educationTBH OP, getting a grad degree was THE thing that ends my dating life. Men hated it. I also have never had a single moment of regret and my life is incredibly good now because of that choice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 12:09 PM |
| 2 | A majority of the time, sex is NOT a mutual benefit.They’re cheap tho. They don’t want to pay a real SW her fee. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 09:02 PM |
| 43 | 😕I’ve had dudes who had six figure incomes try to get me to buy them lunch or dinner. I was all like “oh so you’re broke because of your kids too bad so sad.” I didn’t do it. And stopped seeing them immediately. Shouldn’t have been entertaining the idea of guys with kids anyway, learned my lesson. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:09 PM |
| 30 | 😕I was the one who put up that post. heh. I don’t like dinner dates anyway and I don’t drink, so I switched to “activity only” dates several years ago. the activities I engage in require equipment that costs some change, so any dude who can do it with me has to have at least the money to show up with his own stuff. They still try tho. I’ve had dudes ask if they can borrow one of my motorbikes, or if I’ll bring a firearms and ammo setup for them. I outright laugh at them, because in those communit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:07 PM |
| 86 | Ladies, it’s OK not to force yourself to feel attraction.I mean, if you force women to marry men they’re not attracted to you’re gonna have all the problems that go with that. It’s not good for society. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 01:36 PM |
| 6 | The extreme danger of not having boundaries. TW/AssaultWas not. Lovely woman, longtime friend. Also worth noting that many of the narratives about poly in the US are written by white men and that 11 women and nonbinary people who dated Franklin Veaux, THE “god” of poly, came out against him as an abuser and have a website about their experiences with him. My friend says that these narratives are racist tropes pushing the “sexy noble savage” form of racism. https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 01:34 PM |
| 10 | The extreme danger of not having boundaries. TW/AssaultI do actually believe that there are people who are genuinely poly and kinky and I have quite a lot of experience working with those communities. But it’s a MINORITY of people who are wired that way. I get so tired of the “but Sex at Dawn” arguments. i actually spent a month in Africa with a world renowned anthropologist and the people who are the genetic ancestors of all of us. They’re about 80% monogamous even though there’s no prohibition against more than one mate in their society. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 01:20 PM |
| 2 | I feel…asexual?I see major pickme shit in women my age. The fun thing tho? Their young daughters seek me out for help, and they are ALL beautiful strong radfem who don’t want to do what their moms did. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 01:01 PM |
| 7 | The extreme danger of not having boundaries. TW/Assault50 shades is so played out. It’s just stupid, not edgy. Same with trying to be “ENM” or “poly” to look cool. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:59 PM |
| 2 | Old,' M. Night Shyamalan and Hollywood's horror of aging women This source of terror persists because it reflects society’s misogynist fear of mature female power.Oh man! I’m 52 and haven’t met an attractive man my age in YEARS. Even the ones I briefly dated some years ago look like shit now cause they didn’t take care of themselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:32 PM |
| 2 | I feel…asexual?Same. I’m not gonna try to force myself to try to be attracted to men who have so many undesirable qualities. What even would be the point? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:29 PM |
| 6 | The usual culprits at it with the fear-mongering again. If we all just popped out some babies for the terrorism plotting incels, deranged red pilled dweebs and paedophilic cheating porn fried scrotes, society would be magically better! 🙄Men don’t care about women’s issues enough to understand the history. They just want us to be endlessly available for whatever they want and to accrue endless power like in the “good old days.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:01 PM |
| 3 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.I’m so sorry that happened to you. Having personally witnessed this quite a few times I know it’s incredibly painful and scary. I’m so glad you’re better now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 11:39 AM |
| 14 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.Right. You don’t have to get to full blown schizophrenia to have problems that significantly affect your life in a negative way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:21 AM |
| 10 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.There are an astounding number of people who claim that weed isn’t a drug and that you can’t become addicted to it. I know no doctor that agrees with this, but it’s a common belief among pro-weed folks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 04:43 AM |
| 9 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.I know MANY people who have lasting mental problems related to former heavy weed use. I keep my distance, because who knows what will happen if or when they start smoking again? I saw it happen to someone I knew - he became completely insane when he relapsed and I had to ditch. Never again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 03:25 AM |
| 16 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.I’ve definitely seen that. The problem is that there really isn’t any good way to ease someone off a long term heavy weed addiction either. I’ve seen kids with $400 - $600/ month weed habits and a team of doctors unable to get them off. This is why I don’t believe getting kids to smoke is getting them free of “the man.” It looks an awful lot to me like people are trying to addict kids on purpose so that they will have an expensive habit that’s super hard to quit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 12:10 AM |
| 8 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.The docs I work with are POC and female. I am, as well. And we are on the front lines of this shitshow between long COVID and the THC thing. It’s real, and it’s not politics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 07:36 PM |
| 8 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.I have seen psychotic breaks in both men and women with no history of previous mental illness. This seems a lot more common if they had COVID as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 06:30 PM |
| -6 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.We are not talking about occasional or low THC use but heavy use of high THC varieties. These strains contain almost no CBD which is the calming agent in weed. They’re drugs, not medicine. Please keep in mind that my info comes from keeping up with current research and ongoing conversations with both western trained and holistic MDs I work with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 05:34 PM |
| 40 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.Same. I’m fitness oriented and any type of smoking or vaping is clearly going in the opposite direction from fitness. I’ve had many, many discussions with the awesome psychiatrists and Western and Chinese medicine doctors I work with about the problems related to high potency weed use and the lasting problems it causes, not only in terms of mental health but also in terms of lack of functioning in career and relationships due to lack of motivation and cognitive declines. THC is also one of the w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 02:43 PM |
| 52 | Heavy weed use and its link to schizophrenia. Don’t date a heavy weed user.Addendum to this article: the link between cannabis and psychosis is well known and has been for a long time. The new high potency strains have amplified the issues, but it’s not a new issue. I’ve personally witnessed psychotic breaks related to weed use and it’s not pretty. Once a person has had one, they will often continue to have them if they keep using weed. It’s not pretty. Do not recommend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 02:20 PM |
| 15 | The new "shit test" and Another common Neg Found on OLDThis, or they are technically “fit” gym bros and hide their considerable weed, steroid and alcohol use, still claiming they’re “healthy.” No my man - you are not “healthy” if you are always smoking weed, drinking and shooting up roid rage injectables. I started and deleted like 3 giant paragraphs on this post because as a dancer and someone who’s always been into fitness though I am no beast, 99% of the men who approach me who want this need to change their diet, find a gym and do something othe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 01:42 PM |
| 5 | PSA: Beware of men who have Instagram accounts for their petsYep. I’ve seen and experienced this. I have a couple of cute little Yorkies. I cold walked out on a dude once for the way he was treating his little dog in front of me (yelling at the poor animal and dragging it by the leash). Also, your username and my username should team up and do some cleanup in the world. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 12:30 PM |
| 15 | Men's anger comes from our power - we have something they want and we won't give it to themYep same. Men with masters degrees and (supposedly) good jobs (tho I question this, with so many dudes hiding being unemployed these days). I just can’t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 02:24 PM |
| 35 | Men's anger comes from our power - we have something they want and we won't give it to themExactly this. I haven’t been on a date since before COVID but I well remember that I was the one who showed up looking nice and put together the few dates I had before that. The men showed up sloppy and ugly. I was like …. I’ll be going now | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 12:59 PM |
| 19 | Men's anger comes from our power - we have something they want and we won't give it to themLet em just ask their mom for money to get a sex doll. Win win, we get left alone and they have an on-site service. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 12:28 PM |
| 51 | Hello is this X? No, I don't know him 💀Hahahhaha he seriously thought you’d take care of his sorry ass cause you felt sorry for him. Love the way you handled it. “I’m sorry, who? Who? Hmmmm, don’t know that one.” I’m putting this in my Arsenal to use someday. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 12:26 PM |
| 13 | I feel…asexual?Hell I never even get to the personality traits most of the time. So many men seem to have substance abuse issues, to not be working, and to lack the basics of being able to live an adult life. I just can’t with it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 03:23 AM |
| 5 | To the women here who are childfree: how do you define “childfree”?In general CF people are often more career focused and also aren’t planning to have their trajectory interrupted by having kids. At least that’s been my observation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 12:40 AM |
| 4 | To the women here who are childfree: how do you define “childfree”?More resources. They figure they can baby trap them. I have helped more than one CF male friend narrowly escape this fate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 09:18 PM |
| 88 | I feel…asexual?I’m high libido. I’m also monogamous, fitness and relationship oriented and childfree. There are very few men who are a match. I’m turned off by men with kids, unfit and unhealthy men, men who don’t have their life shit together (housing/job/transportation/grooming), men who overuse alcohol and use drugs, and men too far out of my age range. Ultimately this means that even when I’m initially attracted I often lose interest the minute one of these factors surfaces. It’s not voluntary on my part. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 07:27 PM |
| 42 | Kink community showing their true face. This is why kinkshaming is importantAs someone who people want to be a “domme” and has been approached and/or begged by pasty scrotes to do shit like this to them all my life: I really enjoy telling them I have a REAL job that doesn’t cater to men’s shitty dicks and that I can make my $500 another way without ever having to lift a finger for a man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 07:20 PM |
| 14 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?I just wonder how the women they married managed to miss the glaring in your face scrotery. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 05:28 PM |
| 54 | 💩Once upon a time, I was in a motorcyle group that was sheltering a pedophile (with MORE pending charges) because he sold the guys cheap motorcyles and motorcyle parts. He was connected to a group of men who were taking provocative pictures of their teenage daughters and sharing them with other men in the Moto groups. I blasted him out and got banned by the admins. He’s in jail now I believe. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 05:14 PM |
| 21 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?Oh yeah, up until recently I heard regularly from guys I had gone on maybe 8 or 10 dates with YEARS ago. One of them kept contacting me up until he apparently got MARRIED (I do counter stalk my stalkers). They’re so freaking pathetic. Clearly these are dudes who have so little going on in their lives that this is how they spend their time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 05:08 PM |
| 25 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?I think that stalkers who have been former intimates are different than stalkers you don’t know or have only talked to or met one time. For sure. I’ve helped women get rid of many, many stalkers, and gotten rid of my own lots of times. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 05:01 PM |
| 31 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?I’ve gotten “I’ll come to your house” SO MANY TIMES. I’m like, go ahead, bruh. One of us knows all the self defense layouts. One of us has a camera system that records everything. One of us has friends in law enforcement. One of us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 04:55 PM |
| 33 | Why does stuff like this always go viral? It’s just encouraging more women to accept less and “adjust” themselves to tolerate bs !! 😤😐A lot of people in my profession are pick mes, sadly. Or they’re men who have no understanding of the experiences of women. Or they’re not bright enough to get it. My last therapist tried to get me to date guys with kids and wouldn’t wear a mask in his plague rat central office (no windows no ventilation). Fired him and let him know I’d report him if he made anyone I know sick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 03:14 PM |
| 17 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?They’re almost always cluster B of some type. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 02:58 PM |
| 16 | To the women here who are childfree: how do you define “childfree”?Childfree: no bio kids, no Interest in anyone else’s bio kids, no steps, no fosters, nothing. As an old childfree who used to write for that forum now and then, the term is being co opted by Pickmes who are trying to date childfree men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 12:54 PM |
| 36 | What I learned as the quarantine endedYep. The men really fell off the cliff during COVID. I’ve never been so glad to be single. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 12:51 PM |
| 112 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?Oh yeah. Has happened to me tons of times. You just keep blocking and not responding. They’re looking for a reaction, so you never give them one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 12:40 PM |
| 106 | A common DM I get from scrotes - “you’ll be forever alone”. Let’s discuss this..Definitely projection. You should see all the arguing that goes on in the dating over 40/50 internet world about the Living Apart Together concept. It’s always the men whining and telling the women we don’t want “real relationships” because we don’t want to live with them and take care of them as they die of being overweight and unhealthy. THEY’RE definitely the ones afraid of not having a caretaker. Women have friends we can rely on, they don’t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 12:28 AM |
| 3 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.There’s a little cafe down the road from me that I used to go to and sit at the bar to have a meal or a tea. My local lap swimming pool. Motorcyle meetups, when I’m in the mood for those. Thinking about checking out an open air strength class. COVID has def made some things go away but there are still lots of things to do that are outside and safe and give the opportunity to show up repeatedly and meet people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 04:49 PM |
| 10 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildYep. I ask them if their expectation is that he’s never going to want them to share any of his interests and go to her yoga class as the only thing they do together. Shared activity is a huge part of bonding and a healthy relationship. Someone who only wants to do “their” things isn’t going to be a good or desirable partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 01:26 PM |
| 27 | A Very Long Post About Talking to Guys in the WildYep. And quickly finding points of common interest. I ask my girlfriends: “if you aren’t willing to explore interests outside your own, how do you think you’re going to spend time together in a relationship?” They’re chewing on that one right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 04:07 AM |
| 7 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.I have found that connecting with friendly folks drives off the creepers quite nicely. Then next time you show up there, you already have folks to talk to! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 03:55 AM |
| 10 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.I pay attention to whether people are trying to put themselves into my physical sphere. I also look for people who glance my way multiple times. More than twice, I’m saying hi. Also, I talk to women too. I respond to anyone sending friendly bids. Just to keep the skill fresh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 03:54 AM |
| 23 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.Sure, you have to enjoy whatever it is. That’s key. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 08:00 PM |
| 22 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.Either one of us. I’m quite friendly for an introvert. I have taught myself how to be masterful at detecting bids. It’s quite easy and since it’s not a dating context it’s genuine. We end up talking about things we are doing during COVID and if any common interests overlap info gets exchanged. I’m not attached to anything “turning into something” so it’s simple and fun and I’m likely to run into them again anyway. If it’s meant to be it will be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 07:59 PM |
| 14 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.Yep. That’s the “building community” piece. Friends of friends. Genuine connections. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 07:57 PM |
| 21 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.Yep! OLD also sets up unrealistic expectations about instant connection and chemistry. Whereas healthy relationships grow over time. It’s not doing anything good for women at this point frankly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 07:56 PM |
| 76 | On ditching online dating and improving social skills.The key is to simply meet people in a light and friendly way. No expectations. And to be in environments where you will be seen again and again. Good guys aren’t the Aholes who rush right up to you. They will hang back and wait and while and observe to try to figure out if you are single and open to approach cause they’re not assholes. So it’s important to show up regularly in whatever it is and to have genuine enjoyment about the activity, which puts you into a positive and friendly headspace. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:31 PM |
| 117 | I was on urban dictionary to look something up, and what do you know... today's word of the day is "pick me"This is ON POINT. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:15 PM |
| 3 | What power shift?? Lies men tell XD Women get BETTER with ageOk. I will try to write it today! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:02 PM |
| 4 | What power shift?? Lies men tell XD Women get BETTER with ageYes I do have thoughts on that. I help women with it all the time. I can write a post on it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:42 AM |
| 64 | The various ways financial abuse can look.Yea, this is why it’s vital to educate women about this stuff. Once you’ve moved in and are sharing expenses the woman often has very little recourse if the man changes away from his “promises.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 07:03 PM |
| 60 | What power shift?? Lies men tell XD Women get BETTER with ageEh, it’s the same as the “dad bod” stuff. Men tend to assume they are inherently attractive by virtue of simply being born with a penis, so anything you add to that (money, experience, better clothes) MUST make them smokin’ hot right? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 05:22 PM |
| 191 | What power shift?? Lies men tell XD Women get BETTER with ageI always think this stuff is hilarious. I’m 52 and get hit on all the time. Doesn’t seem to have changed anything AFAIK. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 05:21 PM |
| 31 | When he says "You're so insecure"...To me this was always a way of letting me know that it just wasn’t a good fit. It is not “insecure” to want someone who is actually INTO YOU and PAYS ATTENTION TO YOU because he’s not slavering over women on the Internets that he will never interact with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 04:53 PM |
| 51 | Note: the husband is a cop. Ladies, please don’t marry men irresponsible with money. They WILL expect you to pay their bills.You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) the number of times a man demands to come in to a session with a (female) client and when I say, ok if he’s demanding to come in with you, HE has to pay for it, the session is never booked. It is extremely common for male partners to try to piggyback into a therapy session so that the woman will pay for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 04:41 PM |
| 39 | Note: the husband is a cop. Ladies, please don’t marry men irresponsible with money. They WILL expect you to pay their bills.IME older men have been previously married to a woman who did all this for them, and/or their mothers did all this for them as kids and/or did this for their fathers as well. They want the same kind of deal their fathers got. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 04:40 PM |
| 58 | Note: the husband is a cop. Ladies, please don’t marry men irresponsible with money. They WILL expect you to pay their bills.Pretty obvious that he expects women to pay for him. Based on my own experience dealing with LEO in a non dating context, they often use the badge and uniform to manipulate women into thinking they are “protector provider manly men.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 02:31 PM |
| 33 | How do you respond to the "men have it bad too" argument?This. My routine response to “but men have problems too” is, “I’m sure you believe that, but women’s issues are the focus of this conversation/presentation etc. I invite you to create and present your own material on this topic. Next question.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 07:22 PM |
| 109 | The new dating scam.Right. I remember at one point realizing that I needed to have ONE date involving a drink in vetting guys so that I could see if he was an alcoholic. I missed that one a few times because I don’t drink except for once or twice a year if that and never put it to the test - and ended up in situations where the guy was roaring drunk and I had to leave because so embarrassed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 06:37 PM |
| 235 | The new dating scam.Agree with this. Quite frankly this kind of BS is why I will only go on activity dates. I don’t drink anyway, and it’s more important to me to make sure a guy is actually active and interested in some of the same things I am. This dinner date business is just fraught with problems. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 03:16 PM |
| 146 | The new dating scam.He wouldn’t pay. Handling it on the spot and brusquely is the answer to this situation. It’s a scam. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 12:52 PM |
| 465 | The new dating scam.Apparently this has happened to quite a few women based on the comments to this post. Agree with you on how to handle it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 12:36 PM |
| 24 | "How come you are still single?"I give one liner answers. “Eh just too busy to navigate dating in COVID times.” “Just haven’t gotten around to addressing it.” “Must be because I rarely date.” “Not sure. Eh, whatever!” At least for me being lighthearted and vague gets them off my ass and I can go on with my day. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 11:56 AM |
| 75 | My best friend's BF dumped her on the day she got a PROMOTION!Men’s self esteem drops when women succeed. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201311/men-s-self-esteem-drops-when-female-partners-succeed | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 04:35 AM |
| 23 | Lol, do we have a Self Aware Wolves flair?Very much this, and COVID makes it worse. I sit 20 feet away from everyone after I do my lap swim to dry off. Even this distance is not enough to keep men from somehow getting into my space obviously fumbling around for a way to start a conversation with me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 10:17 PM |
| 20 | Dating questions I got this week and how I answered them.Most of the time, these older guys have a kid or two that’s too young for women their own age to want to caretake; or they’re never married, never dated longer than 1 year type guys. I’ve noticed that they are almost always looking for not only a younger woman but a younger woman with whom there’s a significant financial differential, with him on top. As he gets older this means he will be able to control her, even if she has a pretty nice lifestyle the first 10 years or so. There is often the e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 09:25 PM |
| 7 | This is what we mean by all men. When they’re left alone, they allow misogyny to thrive.YES!!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 08:36 PM |
| 31 | This is what we mean by all men. When they’re left alone, they allow misogyny to thrive.Videos like this make me think that women should just wear recording devices in male dominated environments and then post the footage to a website with the name of the school/company and the men involved with no comment. Just the footage, tag all involved parties and then let Twitter do its thing. It’s all on camera after all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 01:16 PM |
| 23 | The absolute AUDACITY of men who want to have their cake and eat it too.I’d use the number to find his social media and his girlfriend and let her know if I could in addition to talking to his employer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 12:31 PM |
| 44 | Anyone else traumatised by their mothers having relationships with multiple men? I wish we could normalise dating without having to move in and blend families and all of that nonsense, especially if there are kids from a previous relationship.This post is EXACTLY why I won’t date men with kids. I have heard many teenagers and young adults say the same things to me as you have, OP, and I know that the “oh well it’s no big deal my kids won’t mind” attitude that many single parents have is NOT how kids mostly feel. Thank you for sharing this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 12:28 PM |
| 10 | Rebuilding after traumaThey’re shitty little men who have nothing to do in life but bother women. Pathetic really. Also, EMDR therapist here if there’s anything I can help with in terms of questions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 12:56 PM |
| 9 | Never go on any date that’s not as cool as one you would plan for your girlfriends.Tbh I’m a little scared of the vegan cheese but dates are about experience and adventure and I’m a sucker for a good cheese, so I’m down! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 07:17 PM |
| 11 | Never go on any date that’s not as cool as one you would plan for your girlfriends.That’s beautiful. Upholding these values in your family ensures that all of you will stay safe and be strong. I’m here for it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 07:16 PM |
| 10 | Never go on any date that’s not as cool as one you would plan for your girlfriends.NICE!! What a great idea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 07:14 PM |
| 40 | This is the most laughably pathetic thing I've seen in a long time.I’m laughing out loud reading this list. Sis I already have a good job that I get paid good money for. There is literally no reason to do like 8 jobs for men for free. No matter how good the D is it ain’t THAT good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 04:38 PM |
| 40 | Never go on any date that’s not as cool as one you would plan for your girlfriends.Right? I plan GOOD dates. Best way to teach your female friends how not to accept low effort dates BTW! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 04:16 PM |
| 21 | Never go on any date that’s not as cool as one you would plan for your girlfriends.NOOOOOO I’m sorry | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 04:15 PM |
| 3 | Meetup Groups and HobbiesScrew Meetup. I’m saving up money to take a rally driving class and maybe join a local motorcycle track! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 01:02 PM |
| 53 | What I think of men after being on FDS for a year.I’ve been a radfem all my life. FDS to me means the efforts that I and other women have been making are WORKING. It means that the ideas and centering of women and women’s issues we’ve been fighting for is finally happening, and in a way that women all over the world can access. This makes me happy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 11:52 AM |
| 18 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.I’m childfree and have absolutely no interest in any aspect of parenting or vetting or supervising the parenting of a potential partner, so to me all of that is emotional labor I elected not to do by not having kids in the first place. That’s just me though, I know a lot of women are more open than I am to working through these issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 07:24 PM |
| 17 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.I’m in my 50s and I will not date guys with kids after trying in my 40s and having it end quickly and badly each time. I think it depends on where YOU are with the kids issue. And whether you want to take the risk. Blended families where the woman is childless and the guy has kids have something like an 80% divorce rate. You have to see if that kind of risk is something you are willing to take on, and quite frankly, what your budget is for family and couples counseling. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 07:11 PM |
| 73 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.Wow, you got three months before that happened. Back when I tried dating single dads I never got to even the 6th date without the kids somehow being introduced to me or brought around, even though I’d specifically said I did not want that to happen until much later. Ditched on the spot each time as I work with adolescents now and then and am well aware of how much they hate random people being dragged into their lives after a divorce. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 07:09 PM |
| 43 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.I’m in my early 50s and see this a lot too. A lot of the time, the young kids are from a hasty marriage to a much younger woman (sometimes the one they cheated on their first wife with, but sometimes just a panic reaction to getting older and wanting a “legacy” without thinking it through.) The last time I was on OLD, some years ago, I saw all these profiles I remembered from many years previously. Same guys and same spiel only now they all had little kids. The ones who thought I wasn’t good eno… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 07:06 PM |
| 5 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.No, she didn’t tell him that. He was the one who put that out there - she didn’t agree to it. The ladies checked on that part! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 06:12 PM |
| 3 | Katie Nolan making men who claim to sprint faster than the pros show their stuff on camera.Yep. Really happened. My friend called me afterward because she was so bewildered and I was like….gurl. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 04:49 PM |
| 9 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.The ladies think he got there early and had a bunch of drinks before she arrived. And/or that this is a doctored screen shot or that it’s for something else entirely. It does not add up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 02:39 PM |
| 7 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.It’s happening all over! Must be the new red pill strategy to get money out of women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 02:23 PM |
| 5 | Katie Nolan making men who claim to sprint faster than the pros show their stuff on camera.Oh I’ve got one for you. A friend agreed to meet near her house for a tea date. The guy showed up with tea BAGS in his pocket, no hot water or cups. Pretty obvious he was angling to get into her home cause he “forgot” 2 of the 3 things you use to make tea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 02:22 PM |
| 4 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.Almost a certainty. The ladies in the group where this was posted did the math and there is literally no way this man had a tab that came to $160 at this place based on what she remembered having there. The max tab should have been half of that. He’s duping her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 02:15 PM |
| 19 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.I am wondering this as well. I mean, the food scene is overpriced but it’s not THAT overpriced. Part of me wonders if this is a charge for something else that he’s trying to extract money from her for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 10:14 PM |
| 217 | Wait...what?No way it is. That bike is distinctive. People would recognize him if this is really his bike and really how he dresses. Prob an internet photo off some site and the real man is balding and overweight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 08:27 PM |
| 29 | Are success stories on marrying a HVM?I know many couples where the man is HV, of all ages. Hell I helped some of them get married! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 07:57 PM |
| 11 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.Yep. Apparently he was the one to plan the whole thing. I suspect he was trying to get her to think he’s more successful than he actually is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 07:37 PM |
| 21 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.I believe the young lady in question decided not to, yes. Proud of her for that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 07:36 PM |
| 26 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.South, but this is happening all over the US. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/man-asks-woman-refund-dates-food-drinks-relationship-goes-nowhere.amp | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 03:42 PM |
| 196 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.I believe this too. They see a date as a down payment on a “service”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 03:41 PM |
| 243 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.Yep. He also chose the place apparently. So the entire date was a setup. I posted this because it seems (from what I’m seeing) that this is how the redpillers are trying to get around women who won’t split the bill on the first date. They take her out, and then they set it up to make her feel guilty about the money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:55 PM |
| 146 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.Yeah, I think we need to come up with a solid number for the financial cost of women making sure they don’t get raped or abused by a creep. $500/hour. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:42 PM |
| 20 | Safety bracelet that can send your location out or call 911 or your phone. Just saw this and thought some ladies might want to know about it.The Flare is a better idea in terms of safety. The first thing violent men do is grab a woman’s phone and chuck it. It’s an intelligent product. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:22 PM |
| 16 | Could there be a more dumpster fire LVM tinder profile? I need to unpack with the FDS ladiesI’m skeptical about his claims. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 05:13 AM |
| 88 | Could there be a more dumpster fire LVM tinder profile? I need to unpack with the FDS ladiesBut what more can you expect from an Uber driver in an open relationship? Obviously already winning at life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 04:05 AM |
| 155 | How scrotes treat “The One that Got Away”I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT THIS. I mean, if she does REALLY good she’ll never find another man like him her whole life, but ya know, they have a way of finding us. I have had this said to me before too and I literally laughed out loud which did not go over well, but honestly having the self awareness of a Cheezit deserves to be laughed at. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:13 AM |
| 6 | Proper posture is sexy!Well for one thing I’m tall. 5’9 flat feet. 6’1 in runway heels (4”). I’m not built like a strongwoman but I’m strong enough. And I have this perfected deadeye stare. It works for so many things. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/21 11:53 PM |
| 28 | Proper posture is sexy!Core strength is the key - functional core work that build the support muscles in your trunk. Spoken as a dancer and one time model who’s been scaring men for many decades. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/21 12:25 PM |
| 3 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.Make sure you practice with both. Uh, away from others obviously!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 09:08 PM |
| 28 | Katie Nolan making men who claim to sprint faster than the pros show their stuff on camera.Men won’t hire trainers. I talk about it with mine all the time. For one thing they’re cheap and don’t want to spend the money. For another, “Nobody gonna tell me what to do.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 09:05 PM |
| 15 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.There aren’t that many tools humans use. Basic rules. Your #1 tool is your awareness and smarts. Better not to get into something rather than have to get out of it. Something that works at a range of 10-12 feet is next choice. Pepper gel (better than spray) or any spray with a reach is good. NOISEMAKER. There are personal alarms that are LOUD. Soccer field whistle. Anything to startle and draw attention to yourself. Least optimal choice is close quarters weapon. Close quarters is the worst kind … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 09:03 PM |
| 14 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.YEP. I can always tell a newbie Moto rider because he (always a he) wants to wear headphones playing music while he rides. I’m like, dude…you are on a two wheeled naked rocket. And people in cars are stupid. You. Need. To. Pay. Attention | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 06:40 PM |
| 11 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.They already do. The US is not going to go gun free, so women have to figure out how they want to deal with it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 06:35 PM |
| 89 | Katie Nolan making men who claim to sprint faster than the pros show their stuff on camera.Haha, so true. I’ve spent a lot of time in male dominated pursuits - shooting and motorcycles - and you see this ALL THE TIME. I can’t even tell you the number of dumbass mistakes and straight up fails I have seen from men who were SURE they had the skills to dominate. One of my two primary shooting teachers used to take me to competitions with him sometimes. Before we would start he would lean over to me and whisper, “Watch the guys with the expensive rifles, they’re gonna fuck up and then blam… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 05:16 PM |
| 61 | Katie Nolan making men who claim to sprint faster than the pros show their stuff on camera.I love the way she handles it. She’s so persistent and so questioning and so NICE all the while being a total badass. There’s another one on guys who say they can kick field goals: https://youtu.be/SnGauxFbGbE | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 04:51 PM |
| 65 | men are self-aware, when they truly want to help, they give FDS type of advice. HVM agree with FDS, only the misogynists whose tricks are exposed by this sub slander it.I agree with not dating a guy who makes it clear you are not his type. Because, quite frankly, he probably isn’t your ideal either but YOU have the class not to say something about it. The differential here is level of personal class, not a match. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 04:28 PM |
| 16 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.I’d rather be charged than dead. Just saying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 04:13 PM |
| 36 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.Little tip: high strength laser pointers can do some interesting things to cameras. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 04:10 PM |
| 19 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.I’m a motorcycle rider and handle firearms regularly so situational awareness is just “normal” for me. Anytime you’re handling something powerful and/or dangerous, you quickly learn that distraction is Not A Thing To Do. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:59 PM |
| 54 | A few thoughts on self protection and stalking.I have been stalked many many times. As an Asian American woman in the States I’m always dealing with super creep White men who have very fetishistic ideas about Asian woman, so for much of my life I’ve had up to three stalkers at any given point. So. I have a lot of experience with this issue both personally and helping clients. I’m happy to share if there’s anything specific you want to know. With cameras, the key is to install them up high or in a place where they cannot be grabbed easily. Al… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:12 PM |
| 8 | Potent.He got a lot of requests about whether he was single and politely let everyone know that he is “very taken.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:00 PM |
| 21 | Potent.I completely disagree with this. We have a VP who isn’t a white woman for literally the first time in history because of Biden. No one is perfect, but there is literally no comparison. this kind of thinking is how women end up sitting out elections and LOSING ALL OUR RIGHTS. Also, the people promoting ‘Biden isn’t different than Trump’ are mostly MEN. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:07 PM |
| 19 | Potent.Oh yeah. I have made the mistake of letting friends of friends “set me up” for blind dates. I will not be doing that anymore. The men were unemployed, overweight, drinkers, into group sex, what have you. I have got to wonder WTF they were thinking but I later realized that these friends were people who are all too willing to date below their level as well, so it made sense. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:04 PM |
| 2 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Yep! Financial independence IS independence for women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 12:30 PM |
| 33 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menHiking dates are stupid. There I said it. They’re walking dates with a backpack. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 12:08 PM |
| 42 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menI always tell men that they are welcome to keep on not trying and that they will get the same results they’ve been getting by doing so. If they’re good with that more power to them and they can shut up so we can all enjoy the silence. :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 12:04 PM |
| 63 | Potent.We have a conservative Supreme Court in the US right now partially because young women did not vote in 2016, Trump got elected and now all the rest. I have had many many talks with young women about their horror at current events and how they didn’t think they needed to participate in the political process even though all the old ladies told them they needed to make sure this POS didn’t get elected because of what it would do to THEIR rights since those of us who are older are not going to be af… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 11:39 AM |
| 106 | Potent.I’d rather not since she’s a Black woman and I don’t want her to get harassed by a bunch of jerks too dumb to even understand the discussion. It may turn up in your social media soon though, it’s circulating… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:47 AM |
| 70 | Potent.It started going viral from the page of the woman who posted the screenshots and engaged the discussion and is still going…it’s getting around for sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:35 AM |
| 138 | Potent.I would not say they are “friends.” More like people my male friends grew up with, or know in their social circles. My male friends know that men only listen to other men and not to women. They try to do their part to influence men’s thinking and to crack things open. It’s tough going. They keep at it. Their view is that if they don’t do it, no one else will since evidently these men were not raised right and their fathers didn’t teach them the right messages. They do what they can. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:22 AM |
| 104 | Potent.As a child of war and a trauma therapist - I hold this story in my heart with understanding and gratitude. Thank you for sharing it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:17 AM |
| 351 | Potent.Oh yeah! My male friends wear themselves out explaining to men THEY know that the reason those guys have problems with women is that they’re simply not likable guys that women want to be with. Apparently they’re met with a lot of blank looks and resistance. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 12:00 AM |
| 503 | Potent.Yep. This guy isn’t a dating coach or anything, he’s just some economist with a girlfriend in San Antonio. Which is kinda nice. Apparently a lot of people posted stuff about how terrible their grandfathers were in response to his tweet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 11:28 PM |
| 344 | Potent.The discussion on this post was really interesting (it was posted by a Black woman with a background in psychology). Some men were telling her that she was devaluing men by posting this and her response was that she agreed with it, that in talking to older women in her family and other families, the women would have left if they could have because the men were not likeable. It was a really really long discussion that I wish I could post in entirety here because there were SO MANY good points she… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 11:06 PM |
| 59 | Mini rant about needing to let strange men into my place“I’m recording, and I’m armed” is one of the best sentences on planet Earth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 10:44 PM |
| 10 | For women in relationships with men working in corporate, what is it like?Sometimes. Not always. The shock of what a woman without work experience gets paid is often a blow in the face, a severe disconnect from the affluence they are used to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 10:37 PM |
| 1 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.This is amazing and I’m saving it for future reference! thank you!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 10:36 PM |
| 19 | For women in relationships with men working in corporate, what is it like?Plenty of them. They don’t like it, but if you don’t want to work, you really end up leaving yourself without much leverage in this department. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 03:04 PM |
| 25 | For women in relationships with men working in corporate, what is it like?Let’s call it a trade off. She gets to not work and raise a family and live a high end lifestyle. He gets to do whatever he wants. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 02:48 PM |
| 16 | He Could Have Drowned HerIt’s any kind of physical activity. I’ve encountered so much hostility from men regarding exercise, motorcycling and shooting sports. Hey man. If you want to be a loser who poses and can barely pull your act off, you go do you. Winners practice, losers whine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 12:36 PM |
| 65 | For women in relationships with men working in corporate, what is it like?In my city many “professional” level men are visiting sex workers and getting hookups off Tinder or Bumble without the knowledge of their wives. The “working long hours” enables them to visit their hookups without their wife knowing. How do I know this? I have both SWs and young professional men as clients who tell me all the tricks and how these guys pull it off. Basically, for a lot of these dudes, the wife is the respectable front who also maintains the home. He’s having his real fun with wom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 12:06 PM |
| 1 | “Can’t make a wife out of a ho*” and more bullshitIt’s likely most of them will not be there long. Only fans gets marketed to women as being fun and harmless. It’s anything but. Sadly they will learn the lessons about the dark side the hard way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 11:54 AM |
| 4 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I’ve had longish talks about this issue with several of the couples therapists I know, after having been called a “snob” or “elitist” or “shallow” for insisting on an interest in fitness as a criteria. They all agreed with me that it’s important, because fitness, especially as you get older, dictates your ability to do things together. It’s important as a couple that you be able to do things together that you enjoy to build memories and experiences. People with wildly differing levels of fitness… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 04:55 AM |
| 8 | This is what breeding with a LVM will do to youI have a whole bunch of young male clients who are the target of the most vicious sabotage and cruelty from other men, ESPECIALLY older white men. It’s so obvious that they’re being targeted because they’re good looking, talented, emotionally intelligent and attractive to women. Men are cruel as hell to other men who are better than they are. They can’t stand anyone showing them up even if they’re not trying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 03:37 AM |
| 25 | Lock down social media and be careful with what information you share. Learn from my mistakesOh man LinkedIn. I got rid of LinkedIn due to weird dudes messaging and harassing me on there. I feel this. One of the reasons I’ve rarely used OLD and no longer will is the prevalence of dudes using screenshots to try to find me IRL and contact me. It’s creepy out there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 10:11 PM |
| 4 | Just for laughs ladies.Wow that is brilliant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:55 PM |
| 11 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Right. We can’t do it “right” - so we might as well do what we want! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:54 PM |
| 3 | Just for laughs ladies.One of my friends recognized the typeface as being from the Guardian apparently. No idea what time frame! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:52 PM |
| 3 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Me too. ME TOO!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:52 PM |
| 17 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.How great is that?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:52 PM |
| 5 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Oh yeah. During Snowvid down here I was getting all kinds of texts from men I barely knew offering me “help” as though I needed rescue. I reminded them that I spent a month in the African bush with a team of women and that I had not asked for a “rescue.” I strongly suspect that they all had another agenda since these were people I was not close to nor friends. But I was too busy to bother dealing with it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:51 PM |
| 31 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Ya, it’s similar to the cycle of abuse isn’t it? Break a woman down then come in as a “rescuer.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:49 PM |
| 35 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.You’ve pretty much just described my entire life. Lol. “You’re too independent.” Okay…so you want to be with someone dependent, Got it. “No, I don’t want a gold digger.” Uh…ok? It just goes around in a circle. I stopped even trying to figure it out about a decade ago. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:47 PM |
| 49 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Brilliant! I love it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 02:30 PM |
| 39 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Willing to bet money this “friend” does not have the skills to build a fence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 02:07 PM |
| 557 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.That was one of the exact comments on the post! A woman asked men to explain how this works in their minds - are we literally supposed to sit around doing nothing waiting for men to show up and do it, even though men won’t show up, won’t do it, and bitch about being asked? They didn’t have any answers, unsurprisingly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 02:03 PM |
| 14 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.If you search “husband sabotages weight loss/diet” there are thousands of entries. In fact it’s one of the top search terms when you type in ANYTHING about sabotaging weight loss or diet. People who get bariatric surgery are asked if their partners are supportive of the change because it’s so common for husbands to sabotage weight loss efforts. it’s a form of coercive control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:46 PM |
| 173 | Just for laughs ladies.I mean, there are days when I’m totally ok with letting them blather it all out before setting them on fire. It’s a mood. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:23 PM |
| 137 | I salute this woman who built a fence. Good job lady.Didn’t she do a good job? And this “friend” didn’t even give her a word of support or praise. Instead he somehow took this amazing thing she did and made it all about how men feel. She should dump this “friend.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:52 PM |
| 58 | Just for laughs ladies.Omg. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:48 PM |
| 21 | If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my bestI always reply, “wow, I barely know you and you already want to show your worst side? That’s no fun. No thanks.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:15 PM |
| 33 | First date offer 🙄Yeah. It’s all about “hiking dates” these days. Hiking in a lot of areas is walking…with a water bottle. Woohoo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:13 PM |
| 3 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?I love how so many women are going back to what makes US feel good in our skin, not what men supposedly like. Congratulations!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:11 PM |
| 19 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.So this. Both my trainer and my sports bodyworker have told me that I will never need more than a 25-30 lb kettlebell and up to 50 lb on a barbell to do 95% of what will make me strong for the rest of my life. More weight doesn’t mean better results; it often means poor form and more injuries. They both told me they’ve tried to help plenty of guys with injuries from the combo of bad form and high weight but that men don’t want to hear they need to use lighter weight, they’d literally rather hurt… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 11:38 AM |
| 7 | "You need to forgive!"Look for a feminist EMDR therapist if you can find one. We’re out here. Hugs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:01 AM |
| 14 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.Really. Somebody needs to let Alex Honnold know. (He’s 35.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:59 AM |
| 3 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Always here to help ladies level up. It’s what I do! Glad you’re enjoying! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:04 AM |
| 4 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.I figured it would be awesome for the FDS ladies who can easily access these airports! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:39 AM |
| 8 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I would say a good functional fitness trainer always starts where you are. Much of functional fitness is body weight and using things like kettlebells, and it can be built gradually. I’d had a severe ankle sprain, almost knee dislocation and shoulder injury at different points so we had to do modifications until I got stronger (still working with some of those). The Onnit home video programs demonstrate three levels of difficulty for each exercise. You can go at your own speed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:38 AM |
| 3 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?I notice how post COVID it seems that pretty much every social environment left in my city involves alcohol. It can be a real challenge finding events to go to or ways to do things with people that stay away from bar environments. Congratulations on your sobriety, it’s a big deal! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:36 AM |
| 6 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.I’m about it! Already working on seeing if I can talk a seasoned traveling girlfriend into doing it with me next year. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:34 AM |
| 5 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.https://www.travelandleisure.com/travel-news/french-bee-airline-newark-paris-flights?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=news_tab&utm_content=algorithm | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:33 AM |
| 9 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.ALL of this. Yes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:33 AM |
| 26 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.back when I was in bad therapy trying to make me over into a pickme, I tried to be more lenient about this issue but it ALWAYS backfired on me. It wasn’t OK with the guys that I had a professional trainer because “it’s too expensive” or “I know how to work out and you should let me show you.” Uhhh…I’m looking right at you and if your current results are the product of what you “know,” I’m sticking with my trainer. Sorry dude. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:31 AM |
| 30 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I always refer men to my trainer, because he’s young and incredibly competent and knows his stuff. Of course, they won’t go, because they don’t want to be shown up by a younger man, and then they’ll get mad at me because he’s not cheap and resentful that I can afford him. I mean okay, just keep on being a blob I guess? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:29 AM |
| 5 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?T Milly TV used to have great ones. There are lots these days as well as recorded programs that were recorded during the pandemic! https://www.tmilly.tv/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:26 AM |
| 17 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.Yep. You have lived all the things I’m talking about. It’s hard. One of my good friends is a very accomplished aerial artist. She is SO TIRED of men wanting to arm wrestle her, or otherwise get physically competitive, as part of asking her out for a date. She is OVER IT. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:23 AM |
| 13 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.The TRX is also a great tool to do assisted stuff. I use it for rehabbing my weak knee. You do need an overhead attachment point tho. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:21 AM |
| 3 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?This is so beautiful! The forgiving and loving your younger self is so important! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:20 AM |
| 75 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I have had more than one man snarkily inform me on a first date that his idea of exercise is “walking.” When I say, “Walking is just what you do to get from place to place; what do you do to EXERCISE?” They all got pissed. Of course, never saw them again after that little mantrum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:46 PM |
| 24 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I’ve known more than one big, “buff” looking dude who could barely climb a hill because his lungs were shit from constant pot smoking. They smoke pot because it doesn’t make you gain weight unlike alcohol. When I first started with my trainer, he told me we would be doing strength and longevity training and that it would take longer and wouldn’t necessarily make me look “buff.” I didn’t even know there was a difference. He explained to me that every year before swim season and the holidays there… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:42 PM |
| 112 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I’ve only dated two guys who said they were into fitness. Basically what that meant to them was that they spent an hour or two at the gym 5 days a week so their terrible food and booze and drug habits on the weekends wouldn’t make them gain weight. It was not a fit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:32 PM |
| 30 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.There’s a lot of discussion among fitness oriented women about how their male partners seem to try to sabotage their diet and workout regime with just the kind of stuff you’ve described. I’ve experienced it myself. I think it’s very much about wanting to pull one’s partner down to feel justified about being unhealthy. It’s not just partners, I’ve experienced it from male friends too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:30 PM |
| 19 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.They were all men i knew who said they were into fitness that I’d done other things with. But what I found out is that they resented that I was learning things they’d never seen before while they were all still doing the same gym workouts they did in their 20s (and not getting a lot of results since exercise science has evolved quite a bit since then). I was in person at my gym before COVID. But there were no men in my age range that ever went there, which was really noticeable, and the gym stop… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:25 PM |
| 12 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.I wrote a longish comment above with what I’m doing which hopefully answers. Goals right now are one functional workout, one lap swim, one core/knee rehab and one durability workout per week. I’m not there yet but hoping to be by end of summer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:23 PM |
| 85 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.Yep. Back when I was a performing dancer, I noticed that men I was dating would throw tantrums or pick fights before shows with me and other female dancers. I learned very quickly that while men liked being able to tell other men they were dating dancers, they didn’t actually like us to be onstage doing our art, or the attention we would get. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:22 PM |
| 15 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.Yes! Swimming has helped me a lot with my knee and shoulder injuries. One of my workouts per week is a lap swim. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:21 PM |
| 31 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.OK this is a longish answer but maybe it will help. I’ve been a dancer all my life so I have a lot of knee, ankle and shoulder injuries. Back in 2019 when I got injured yet again and realized I had to make a significant change, I evaluated physical therapy and fitness modalities as options. I decided not to do PT because unless you’re working with a sports medicine specialist, it’s not really designed to get you back to anything beyond basic functionality. I decided not to do CrossFit or Orange … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:20 PM |
| 82 | Never date someone who criticizes your fitness routine.If you’ve ever followed You Look Like A Man you will see that female athletes are regularly subjected to meaningless critique and sabotage by men who aren’t as strong as they are. It’s unfortunately more the norm than the exception and no doubt why Simone Biles started her own training facility. https://www.youlooklikeaman.com/blogs/yllam-blog | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:14 PM |
| 3 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?I saved a post a woman made about building a fence this morning! I’ll post it for you once we can post photos again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 10:07 PM |
| 8 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Good for you, those are big moves!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:37 PM |
| 7 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Yaassss!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:55 PM |
| 8 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Wow this sounds amazing! I will look up that book, so many good book suggestions on FDS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:41 PM |
| 72 | This is what breeding with a LVM will do to youYeah. That kind of stuff, dating married “separated” or cheating dudes type stuff, focusing on drama in relationships with LVM instead of going back to school or doing what it takes to get a better job. I won’t be codependent with women either, because I’ll always get shafted in those friendships. I had a former friend holler at and block me because I pointed out that part of the reason she wasn’t attaining career advancement was that she was ALWAYS late to any engagement that wasn’t about her r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:39 PM |
| 22 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?That’s a LOT - both are major investments in your future. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:16 PM |
| 139 | This is what breeding with a LVM will do to youI def lost a few friendships over COVID with women who kept putting themselves into the stupidest situations with men. I finally realized that they way they make choices meant the drama would never end AND they’d then also blame me for saying something about it. Had to let them go. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:33 PM |
| 10 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?YASSSSSS queen!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:27 PM |
| 9 | Scrote ShitYep. Restaurants are ok as a treat but as someone into fitness, nowhere near as healthy as what I can make at home for a fraction of the cost. The way delivery groceries leveled up during COVID just adds to that. I can do a crab cake and fresh field greens salad for $8 at home. It’s never as good as what I can make at a restaurant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:23 PM |
| 8 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?All of y’all are amazing! I love all of these!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:15 PM |
| 12 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Same same. I’m actually afraid of “beauty” procedures but I finally confronted my anxiety and went to a wonderful Korean skin care specialist. Turns out I’ve been doing it wrong all these years and now that I’m doing it right it’s making a huge difference. I should get to makeup free within a month! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:13 PM |
| 70 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Oh nice! This is so important. You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) the number of women I’ve seen over the years who had NEVER experienced an orgasm because they’d always been in relationships with men who never bothered to learn how to please them. Let’s just say that knowledge was a huge game changer for their dating lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:11 PM |
| 15 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Ohhhh pink sapphire! I just ordered a morganite and diamond pendant to celebrate having pulled people thru pandemic year 1. I love sparkling pink gems. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:09 PM |
| 29 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?ROLLER DERBY!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:08 PM |
| 5 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.I mean for French people I know that’s just cafe food, right, but I always have loved the simple things! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 02:22 PM |
| 9 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.Anywhere I can get moules frites and good cheese, I’m gonna be happy for at least a day or two! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 02:18 PM |
| 24 | “Can’t make a wife out of a ho*” and more bullshitIt’s hard effing work. Some of the hardest and most dangerous out there. I work with my SW clients on safety and getting paid the top dollar they can so they can get out. Men always try to cheat them or get them to throw in extras or the girlfriend experience for free. When you work with SWs you learn a lot about how professional men REALLY treat women which is incredibly valuable for all my other clients. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 02:13 PM |
| 11 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.I’d love to see Paris just once and then move on to a couple of weeks in other areas! Those flight prices can’t be beat even if you just jump thru to somewhere else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 02:10 PM |
| 24 | Filter questionsHell I’m loner and I have tons of friends. I just don’t see them all the time. Lol. I ask about exercise and fitness, what they do to keep themselves at the top of their game. I like talking about that stuff and I do it, so I feel comfortable bringing that up. That conversation tends to cover diet, fitness, substance and mental health areas. If I notice a guy is uncomfortable I’m gonna take that as a sign that he either isn’t working to be on his game or doesn’t like women who do, which is all I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 02:09 PM |
| 48 | “Can’t make a wife out of a ho*” and more bullshitI had a hilarious conversation once with a group of young men who wanted to be sugar boys instead of working. When I pointed out they’d have to clean up, spend money on their grooming, work out, learn how to cook, learn how to please a woman and how to be an excellent conversationalist, they got really upset. Men seriously think they can show up as their grubby unwashed self and get paid to sit there and play video games by an older woman just cause they’re young. Not so much, dudes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 02:03 PM |
| 19 | Thank you FDS for giving me courage to take care of my needs and wants.There’s a new airline running flights for $100-$300 from NYC to Paris. I’m just saying, ladies. Go get it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 01:59 PM |
| 46 | Scrote ShitI feel this. I’ve never done domestic labor for men and it’s been a constant issue in every relationship I’ve been in in the past. I do high level emotional labor for my job and I’m damned if I’m going to do free work for a man who isn’t self sufficient. This reasonable and adult stance has led to men throwing tantrums, crying, and pressuring me to take care of them. NOPE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 01:17 PM |
| 28 | Scrote ShitAnd yet we are supposed to believe that women are the ones who need saving by men. Uh huh. Sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 01:13 PM |
| 8 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.Yep. I was very clear with these guys that I was not sure that I could actually date anyone with kids and that I was trying it out and needed to move VERY slowly to see how I felt about the situation. If anything it seemed to make them push harder, so I ditched. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 05:39 AM |
| 3 | Cry me a river.It’s so tiring, isn’t it? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 04:03 AM |
| 5 | Cry me a river.I just consider childfreedom to be much more of a women’s issue. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 04:00 AM |
| 4 | Cry me a river.It wasn’t like that in the beginning. It was cool feminist women back then. They always rụin everything… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 01:57 AM |
| 2 | A refreshing positive experience with the STD talk I wanted to share. Also curious about how others approaches to this/experiences with itYep, and this can happen when the person with HSV 1 is shedding and asymptomatic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 01:27 AM |
| 24 | FDS is WorkingI live in a city where far too many people have the view that “oh well everyone has something.” As a result my city is always in the top 100 of STD infected cities and sometimes the top 25. I explain to people all the time that it’s not OK to expose your body to various diseases just because you’re OK with it right now. I have seen STDs wreak havoc in people with compromised immune systems. Just because you’re healthy and can fight it off right now doesn’t mean that will always be the case. The … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 01:13 AM |
| 6 | Cry me a river.Yeah. And not being believed when you explain that in order to date you’d either have to lower your standards or just be some whole other woman who wants a totally different life than you do is BEYOND FRUSTRATING. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to say, “I’m not looking for ‘someone,’ I’m only interested in a good fit.” It’s not rocket science to understand that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/21 12:41 AM |
| 22 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.The other thing that was surprising to me was how many men in my age range at that time (I was mid to late 40s then) had very young kids under 10. They won’t be free and clear till they’re 60 meaning that the years I want to spend traveling and having fun wouldn’t ever happen. It just wasn’t a fit for me in any way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 10:32 PM |
| 23 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.I guess it depends on where you are with the whole kid/grandkid question. I don’t have a single maternal urge except for Yorkies. I gave it the good old college try but all the guys had so many multi layered problems and expected too much too soon from me. Their lives were also constricted in many ways mine is not even though I don’t earn near what they did. It was not a good fit, but YMMV. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 10:07 PM |
| 25 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.Never waste the Cambozola on a loser! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 09:56 PM |
| 55 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.Only happened once. We were supposed to go on a picnic. I had picked out a nice spread. Dude showed up 30 minute late with his kids. I said nope. I really enjoyed my charcuterie. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 09:01 PM |
| 21 | An old but good one on “forgetting the wallet” and restaurants.I’d say there is a big difference between people who worked their way up into wealth and those who inherited it or came from wealthy families. The second group is much more likely to be oblivious until others smack them over the head with it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 08:32 PM |
| 8 | Cry me a river.Haha, that’s wonderful!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 08:31 PM |
| 12 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.I have so much of this stuff from years of doing this work. I’d jump on a podcast anytime but I’m not famous enough. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 08:31 PM |
| 54 | An old but good one on “forgetting the wallet” and restaurants.I think that what happens is that women get caught on the spot, and don’t want to be “rude” or confrontational so they just go thru with whatever it is. Definitely, one of the things I try to help women with is assertiveness skills IN THE MOMENT. Because if you don’t handle it in the moment, even if you bring it up later, you’ve already given in to the manipulation. Assertiveness in the moment is hard for women, and often scary. I post these scenarios so that FDSers can think about how we’d all … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 08:29 PM |
| 73 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.even when it’s not always the case, my issue is that most single dads do that learned helplessness thing and act like they can’t figure things out for their kids in order to guilt trip me into providing free “services” of different types to their family - cooking, childcare, financial help, free therapy. I simply have no respect for a guy who made the choice to have kids and then acts like he has no idea how to run a household or take care of children. Since all these guys were high earners, I’m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:58 PM |
| 100 | An old but good one on “forgetting the wallet” and restaurants.As a wealthy friend of mine (who made his own money by working his way up from nothing unlike many people in his bracket) said to me once, “Rich people generally don’t get rich by being generous to other people; they get rich by taking from other people.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:51 PM |
| 48 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.A friend suggested a great possible response to these situations: “Unfortunately, paying for both of us is not within my budget. May I please have my check separate? I can take an uber home if you need to figure out this bill.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:47 PM |
| 85 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.Turned out some of these dudes (who were all six figure earners on paper) did not have credit cards because they were so in debt and had such poor credit due to their divorces/payments to their exes. True story. I also think that men do this on purpose to see if they can get you to pay for things. Small stuff at first, then bigger ones later. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:25 PM |
| 59 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.I love the one where you’ve said “I am not interested in anything kid related since I just met you” and then they show up with the kids on one of your outings. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:09 PM |
| 29 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.I love bacon so I’m with you. You should have seen me the time one of these jokers tried to take my green Chile pork taco, too. Them’s fighting gestures. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:08 PM |
| 200 | Beware the ones who “forget their wallet,” ladies.True story: Every single dad I ever dated (upon the pressure of my former therapists who told me i should “give them a chance” and not think they would take advantage of me) pulled this same exact trick, the “forgot my wallet” trick. I no longer date single fathers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 06:55 PM |
| 30 | Cry me a river.If a man is claiming that his therapist is advocating things that are clearly to the disadvantage of the female partner, I recommend to the female partner that she attend one of his sessions with him. They are usually lying about what the therapist is telling them or distorting how they are portraying situations. I put this to the test when someone I used to be friends with started cheating on his wife and I told him that I would not have any further discussions unless it was in the office of a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 06:38 PM |
| 7 | Cry me a river.Yeah. I have written stuff for that sub in the past. I stopped after it got overrun by incel dudes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 06:10 PM |
| 19 | Cry me a river.Oh yeah. I’ve had several male psychologists and therapists try to manipulate me into shady business deals. When I said no they started hitting on me. One subsequently lost his license for sexually assaulting a client. I avoid them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 05:53 PM |
| 7 | Cry me a river.This is am amazing idea! I’ll show up and lead movement and dance and self celebrating groups at your retreat!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 05:48 PM |
| 3 | The only man I will consider having sex withYep. Men who have had arrangements with SWs/SBs and then run out of money tend to try to impose those same arrangements on women they date. But there’s a reason those arrangements are pricey. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 03:38 PM |
| 5 | Cry me a river.Yeah. The hobo fishing is super intense these days. And the place I live in is NICE so I don’t let men come there when I don’t know them. They’ll latch on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 03:06 PM |
| 6 | I will NEVER understand how any woman puts up with this behavior 🤢🤮You’re not alone. It’s all over now. COVID seems to have made it worse. I can only do counseling work for folks in TX, only coaching and mentoring work for folks in other states/countries (I mentor a LOT of WOC CEOs and entrepreneurs so not all the work I do is therapy). Maybe as FDS evolved they can create a resource list. The childfree forum did that to help women find docs for sterilization. I’d happily be on that list. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 02:43 PM |
| 20 | Cry me a river.Haha amazing! I actually invested in a property with a long term NB friend and we’ve been housemates forever. The property has become super valuable and over COVID I did a lot to beautify it so now it’s a super awesome place. I plan to stay here. LAT is the only kind of relationship I’d consider, and guys with kids want you to move in to get domestic labor so they disappear once you make it clear you ain’t moving. It’s a good elimination tool. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 02:41 PM |
| 152 | FDS to the rescue!Take care of a man, create a child. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 02:26 PM |
| 71 | Cry me a river.I told the last three therapists I had that as a childfree woman, I’m gonna get screwed every time I date a single dad. They always expect me to contribute financially and try to force me into providing free childcare or therapy for their pre existing family. It SUCKS. I would really like to find a childfree therapist but it seems impossible. I have never once gotten anything like genuine support for MY position. I used to work it out by writing posts for the childfree forum. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 02:25 PM |
| 3 | Cry me a river.Anytime!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 02:01 PM |
| 26 | Why ?This is also why I personally won’t date single fathers. When you don’t have kids of your own you’ll get put at the bottom of the list, financially too, almost every time after his kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:54 PM |
| 7 | Cry me a river.Oh yeah right. Scrote protection! If you use GoodTherapy you can actually search feminist therapist as a term. It IS a sub branch of counseling but male run sites like Psychology Today don’t acknowledge it as being a real category so they don’t even have a search term for it. I would use search terms like Black Lives Matter and childfree as those of us who are both or understand/support both are usually radfem. Also look at their personal websites. I have a big visible rainbow BLM logo on mine. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:52 PM |
| 15 | Cry me a river.If you wanna dm me I can give you some tips on how to to use the search sites to try to hone in if you’re in the US. I’m a WOC as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:38 PM |
| 85 | Cry me a river.Yep. I would say radfem, LGBTQ+ oriented and BLM supporting is a perfect combo but damned hard to find. I dropped my last therapist for trying to make me date single dads - I’m childfree. He just didn’t seem to be able to get that I don’t want to deal with ANY KIDS ANY AGE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:36 PM |
| 147 | Cry me a river.Almost impossible. I’ve been a radfem my whole life even before being a therapist. Hell, i can’t find a therapist because the men all pressure me to date single dads (HELLS NO) and the women don’t like that I don’t have kids. It’s tough out there!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:29 PM |
| 251 | Cry me a river.As a therapist: a lot of it is ego. And not wanting to be in a room with someone smarter than they are about life decisions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:20 PM |
| 29 | "6. It Doesn't Make Him Deviant" 🙄I know a fair number of men who don’t. They’re also the ones who have happy marriages and treat women with respect. That’s not a coincidence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:18 PM |
| 63 | I will NEVER understand how any woman puts up with this behavior 🤢🤮This is an endemic problem that started a few years ago and is just getting bigger. I’m constantly hearing from my clients about how the men in their lives move in and then refuse to follow basic hygiene. In my field a lack of grooming makes us start wondering about mental health issues or hidden addictions. Using addicts of any type, including non substance addictions, generally take very poor care of themselves. It’s a flag that there is something else going on. Mentally healthy people do NOT … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 01:16 PM |
| 6 | What Patti Stanger has to say about moving in before engagement: Don’t.Yep. My hairdresser and skin specialist are both small woman owned businesses just like mine. My personal trainer is an awesome SE Asian guy with a new baby. I’m directly benefiting these people with the things I do to take care of myself. It’s win-win all around. Also, men who bitch at me about my self care are inevitably spending tons of money on drugs, booze, video games and other stupid stuff. I choose a personal trainer, healthy food, good skincare. One of us will be happy and healthy later… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 05:33 PM |
| 84 | This is a sign of a future one sided relationshipI’m sorry that happened to you. No appreciation for your efforts. I do not plan dates for men. If they can’t come up with anything, the next thing I will suggest is that they join me in something likely to kick their ass - shooting guns, lap swimming, or motorcycle riding since I am going to be doing it anyway. They never agree to it because they already know they’re going to show their asses. Problem solved. i just go on with my routine. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 05:25 PM |
| 12 | Why do (straight) men try so hard to appeal to the male gaze on dating apps?The thing is that when you really do ride (you own bikes, real gear, you’ve done track days) they don’t want to ride with you anyway. Even the dudes who do own bikes just take pics of them for their friends to envy and let the bikes sit in their garages. It’s ridiculous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 03:30 PM |
| 16 | The only man I will consider having sex withI work with sex workers as clients. I am quite aware of what they go through. These men will eventually find their way to them anyway if they can’t find non SWs to coerce and manipulate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:53 PM |
| 25 | The only man I will consider having sex withThe answer isn’t to try to change them. These men are in their 40s and 50s. They won’t change. They just need it made clear to them that buying dinner for a woman is not a down payment for sex. That is a different type of transaction, and one they can easily find and pay for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:36 PM |
| 13 | Why do (straight) men try so hard to appeal to the male gaze on dating apps?It is. My friends were utterly astounded and also amused. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:04 PM |
| 74 | The only man I will consider having sex withRight. The dating over 40/50 forums I occasionally visit are inundated with men who are upset that a woman didn’t have sex with them after 3 dates. They don’t seem to be able to grasp that even a high libido woman can value herself enough to not let you touch her until she’s sure she actually LIKES YOU AS A PERSON. I occasionally respond to these posts and let them know that if they want to have sex without knowing a woman as a person, they can easily find a sex worker. And they WILL have to pay… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 01:59 PM |
| 127 | This is a sign of a future one sided relationshipThe grubby clothes thing is a total mystery to me. The last two dudes I screened via video chat were both wearing grubby shirts. I did not move forward with meeting either one as a result. Dudes, it is NOT that hard to put on a clean, nice shirt. I always end up wondering if there are drug/alcohol/mental health issues that underlie this bizarre behavior. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 01:45 PM |
| 35 | How do you ladies deal with men that always feel entitled to have an opinion in your life?I have a few standard responses. Here are some of my favorites. “Hmmmm.” Nothing else. Just hmmmm and then leave it hanging out there with no further comment. Makes em uneasy. “Interesting.” Has the same effect. “I’m sure you believe that.” Just a calculated stare without a smile. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 12:55 PM |
| 39 | Why do (straight) men try so hard to appeal to the male gaze on dating apps?I’m a motorcycle rider. Here’s the really funny part: most of those guys don’t actually own or ride a bike at the current moment. I did an experiment to see if I could get any of the Moto guys to actually go on a ride. I talked to 300 different men with Moto pics and didn’t end up going on one ride. It was an old pic, I don’t have that bike anymore, it’s been in the shop, oh I’m getting one like that it belongs to my friend… 300 conversations. No bikes. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 12:46 PM |
| 47 | Got a new, better paying job in May and wanted to reward my hard work. No one treats me better than I treat myself.I love this. Be a Queen! From an old lady: once you get used to treating yourself VERY well, you never go back. It’s awesome. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 12:28 PM |
| 15 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Maybe! But where is the prize? He’s in his 40s not a modelesque boy toy… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:40 AM |
| 17 | What Patti Stanger has to say about moving in before engagement: Don’t.I’m bicultural and agree about the over sharing. People mistake trauma bonding and over sharing for intimacy here. They aren’t the same thing. And yes to those rituals. One of the reasons I’m not interested in cohabitation of the romantic type is that I really enjoy the rituals and time I have for self care, and have been fussed at about it enough times by men to not want to have the discussion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:25 AM |
| 17 | What Patti Stanger has to say about moving in before engagement: Don’t.Right. There doesn’t need to be a “tryout for the tryout.” The engagement IS the tryout. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:12 AM |
| 31 | “Why are you still single?” And other questions I hate answeringI am not. I am a therapist who happens to have a weird 6th sense as to when it’s a good match and when two people fit together in the right ways. I don’t know where it comes from. I do know that so far I haven’t been wrong yet, either about the good matches or the many more bad ones that I can’t give my blessing to (those folks are all divorced or divorcing so far). People tried to get me into being a matchmaker but that industry is so shady and toxic and the people wanting those services often … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:10 AM |
| 22 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Agree with this. He clearly has expectations about being supported that he wasn’t honest about before the marriage. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:02 AM |
| 13 | What Patti Stanger has to say about moving in before engagement: Don’t.I don’t agree with all of her language or reasoning but her point is the same I have heard from couples counselors and marriage coaches over and over: you are valuable, and no matter how you choose to express that value, don’t give it away. Women who really want to get married do need to hear those words in as many ways and flavors as it takes to get it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:00 AM |
| 46 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.I notice how the men in the comments try to shame and guilt trip the woman for not being a loving enough wife instead of responding to the hard data about his actions and complaints. Pure manipulation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 09:10 PM |
| 59 | “Why are you still single?” And other questions I hate answeringI say, “I just haven’t found the right fit, and since I help people get happily married all the time, I do know know what that is and what it looks like.” True, too - all the people I helped get married in the last 12 years are still married, and happily so - not one divorce in the lot as of yet. So the track record stands. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 09:04 PM |
| 33 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Right. Meaning I take it that he is not paying for the food he eats, or the domestic labor that goes into cooking and cleaning up after him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 08:17 PM |
| 22 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.She actually makes a lot more than he does. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 08:00 PM |
| 20 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Yep, because since that would be post marriage, this would mean he’d be entitled to a good portion of the value. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:51 PM |
| 40 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Theoretically she would be entitled to half of it in a divorce since it would be post marriage. I’m sure the reason he wants her to be the one to buy another house is that he’d be entitled to half of the value if she did since again it would be post marriage, whereas currently it’s all hers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:48 PM |
| 40 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Exactly. Like the food, domestic labor, and all the other things they get by being a live in are not worth anything. Would they get those things living by themselves? Nope. You have NO IDEA how many times I have had this conversation with men like this who are trying to prey on me or on my clients or friends. I point out to them that the whole reason they want to live with her is that they are receiving all kinds of benefits that they would not receive or would absolutely have to PAY FOR living … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:43 PM |
| 72 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.High earning women are actually more vulnerable to abuse of this type. https://theconversation.com/a-shocking-finding-that-will-change-the-way-you-think-about-gender-pay-158052 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:40 PM |
| 49 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.It doesn’t seem that his “investing efforts” are going to yield anything like a retirement, from what she’s saying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:23 PM |
| 109 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.She also has a child to support who lives with her. Obviously he was aware of this before they got married. he seems to expect that he should not contribute anything to the care of his stepdaughter. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:22 PM |
| 47 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.He actually may, BUT. Depending on where she lives, he may have thought he was entitled to half of the value of the house by getting married. In my state, though, it’s only 50/50 for anything purchased AFTER the marriage. He may have thought he was getting a sweet deal (he still is actually) and then realized it wasn’t the automatic cash cow he thought it would be with a ring. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:13 PM |
| 141 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.Can you see how he fooled her though? He has a good income and was willing to get married. It’s super important that women NOT conflate a man’s income and willingness to marry with his character. High income women are very often duped in just this way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:08 PM |
| 171 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.I posted this to show how even a high income LVM can take women for money. I see this all the time in my clientele. High income does not equal HVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 07:02 PM |
| 77 | What refusing to pay their share looks like in 2021.There’s no way he’d be able to live in a place as nice as the one she has for 2k a month. He’s using her and trying to extract even more resources from her by crabbing about paying for a place to live. this just in: he’d have to do that anyway, married or not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 06:58 PM |
| 58 | When a man cancels on the first date, don’t reply and just delete him. Learn from my mistakes.That, or they’re hiding something that at the last minute they didn’t want you to know. They don’t look like their pics, they’re 50 lbs heavier, they have a drug or alcohol problem and can’t show up sober, all the usual things. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 06:33 PM |
| 6 | Tl;dr I hate that my girlfriend is more successful than me and takes decisions about her life without consulting meThat’s one interpretation. I also think it’s about wanting to feel like they can control and intimidate women by displaying greater resources. I’ve often noticed - and experienced myself - that when they realize they can’t do this, they can become aggressive and threatening. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 03:01 AM |
| 97 | Tl;dr I hate that my girlfriend is more successful than me and takes decisions about her life without consulting meTotally true. They want a smart woman - but not smarter than they are. A successful woman - but not more successful than they are. A woman who wants kids - but not one who had kids with someone else. A fit woman - but not more fit than they are (I run into this ALLLL the time with men my age - their Idea of fitness is “walking.”) An adventurous woman - but not more adventurous than they are (run into this all the time too, my month in Africa gives them fits because their idea of adventure is pay… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 03:15 PM |
| 19 | Ladies please be careful while dating! Men like this still exist!I think it’s the patriarchal divide in their thinking. “Good girls” don’t have ink and bright hair. Yet they keep approaching us. Well, pick one. Either you want some virginal “good girl” and you go stick with that, OR those of us who are daring actually interest you more than the norm and you give the lie to the “damaged” myth by approaching us. You can’t have it both ways. It’s especially amusing to me to be characterized as damaged. I’m in great physical health and fit. I have my own business… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 03:12 PM |
| 46 | do men just turn into complete POS when they hit 50 or is it that generation?As a woman in her 50s: These dudes are angry. Angry that their lives didn’t work out like they believed they would when they were 22. Angry that they have actual responsibilities they need to attend to and no easy way out. Angry that their dicks only partially work now. Angry that they’re fat and losing their hair. Angry that they no longer command attention from women like they think they used to. Angry that their mediocre careers are on the verge of collapse. Angry that they don’t have real fr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 12:23 PM |
| 47 | Ladies please be careful while dating! Men like this still exist!I also have ink and bright hair. I get approached by scrotes all the time even at 52. I don’t see where they’re avoiding me. Unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 11:56 AM |
| 306 | Tl;dr I hate that my girlfriend is more successful than me and takes decisions about her life without consulting meYeah. He isn’t happy for her. He’s jealous AF and will soon be looking for ways to undermine her and make her doubt herself. As a woman who’s been called “lucky” for many of the same kinds of things ever since I got my graduate degree and built a business: I hope she dumps this insecure little potato. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 11:39 AM |
| 231 | Tl;dr I hate that my girlfriend is more successful than me and takes decisions about her life without consulting me“Impulsive” = a woman doing EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO. oh no. How terrible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 11:37 AM |
| 2 | A couple of years ago, I wouldn’t even fully admit to being a feminist in a dating situation cause I didn’t want to scare men away. Today this quote is the only text I have on my dating profile.I specialize in trauma. I get it. It takes a certain kind of person to hold the story and open up the healing. Therapists are just as influenced by the patriarchy as everyone else. It’s tough as a radfem to find someone who doesn’t try to push you back into it. But there are a few of us out here holding the line. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 11:25 AM |
| 26 | Facts!!! 🔥If it makes you feel better, I’ve helped more than one woman who decided to remain a virgin well into their 30s. I encouraged them to wait until THEY felt comfortable, since it doesn’t make any sense to set women up for a negative first experience. The funny part is that once it finally did happen they weren’t terribly impressed and it didn’t end up creating any kind of artificial romantic bond, which was really interesting - I think we all thought that it would be super romantic, but it was mor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 04:30 AM |
| 19 | A couple of years ago, I wouldn’t even fully admit to being a feminist in a dating situation cause I didn’t want to scare men away. Today this quote is the only text I have on my dating profile.I know a few good ones. I know their wives and respect them and have seen those marriages in action. In general though I avoid them. My biggest issue with male therapists is that they really don’t understand the BS women deal with in dating and make inappropriate suggestions that are ill informed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/21 08:59 PM |
| 34 | A couple of years ago, I wouldn’t even fully admit to being a feminist in a dating situation cause I didn’t want to scare men away. Today this quote is the only text I have on my dating profile.I do more than one thing though not necessarily for money (I’m an artist and teacher) so i usually say I’m a creative who does a few different things. Becuase I have always been upfront about not desiring marriage or cohabitation, and because as an older childfree women I’m always getting targeted by hobofishers, I don’t feel the need to share details about my work until or unless I get to know someone. Since we will not be merging households or finances, they really don’t need to know those thi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/21 05:12 PM |
| 58 | A couple of years ago, I wouldn’t even fully admit to being a feminist in a dating situation cause I didn’t want to scare men away. Today this quote is the only text I have on my dating profile.As a female therapist I tend to agree with you. I have been on more than one date that ended because the man was a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist who used his skills to try to manipulate the conversation in his favor. I don’t disclose that this is what I do for a living until I know someone better (in order to avoid being asked for free help for emotional or relationship issues or to be asked to help him get over his ex etc.), so it was really interesting to see how I was treated when … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/21 04:52 PM |
| 17 | Couldn't have said it betterI remember talking with my artist at length about how it was going to change the reactions of people around me to get the biggest piece of work done. He said to me, “I’m designing this so that you can see it from across the street. It will polarize people. All the people who never had the nuts to get a big piece will hate you. Everyone else, who understands that a woman who can do this is strong and sexy beyond measure, will get it. Are you ready for that?” Obviously made my choice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/21 02:08 PM |
| 83 | Couldn't have said it betterReally? It’s a turnoff? Then why am I an old lady with magenta hair and massive tattoos, still fending off scrotes. If only. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/21 01:20 AM |
| 5 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMYep. Here is data from a marriage institute that does trainings that says the same thing, with the research cited at the bottom, and there’s plenty. More where this came from. http://www.smartmarriages.com/cohabit.html Here’s an opinion from a marriage coach on the same. https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/debra-macleod/living-with-your-partner_b_4688489.html Amusingly, Patti Stanger also agrees. https://www.pattiknows.com/should-you-move-in-together-before-you-get-a-ring/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/21 07:10 PM |
| 10 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMThat is not only my personal opinion. John Gottman also advises not living together without clear intentions around marriage. So does every couples therapist and premarital counselor I know. An engagement can be broken off. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/21 05:36 PM |
| 12 | Don't Be Coerced Into Birthday BS by Friends' LVM Husbands and BoyfriendsI know someone who had a female friend’s husband state to her that he wanted to be a sperm donor so she could have a baby, and that while he would want the baby to know his parents, he wouldn’t want to be financially responsible for the child. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/21 12:52 PM |
| 3 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMOk. I’ll just copy the above, add a note or two and post today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/21 12:22 PM |
| 38 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMThe short answer is: DO NOT MOVE IN ANYONE YOU’RE NOT ENGAGED TO WITH A PLANNED WEDDING DATE. DO NOT MOVE IN ANYONE YOU HAVE NOT KNOWN WELL FOR AT LEAST 24 MONTHS. I can tell you how this usually happens, and how it has been happening during COVID: girl and guy meet, start dating. He invites himself over to her place for a handful of subsequent weekends of sex and fun. At that point he still goes home. Then, at some point, he needs a place to stay, “just for a week or two.” The reasons are varie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 10:47 PM |
| 40 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMOP, so glad you got out. I am dealing with an absolute epidemic of men having moved themselves in with my female clients and now refusing to pay rent or leave although my clients have asked them to now that they are vaccinated and it is safe. Some of my clients are going to have to go through a formal eviction process to get the guy out. I tell all my ladies, “Please promise me that you will not live with a man again until you have a rock on your left hand so big it’s hard to lift your arm.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 06:43 PM |
| 15 | NAILED IT.🥲 From Celeste Mountjoy's instagram (@filthyratbag)The thing I don’t get: these dudes had endless opportunities to make their lives work, far more so than any woman on this sub. They STILL screwed it up and now they want free emotional labor from us listening to them crab about how they blew all the opportunity that we had and have to fight for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 01:33 PM |
| 12 | NAILED IT.🥲 From Celeste Mountjoy's instagram (@filthyratbag)52 and same. Major whinefest going on w these dudes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 01:00 PM |
| 84 | Let’s Talk About LVM Exes and When They Come Back After A BreakupI have found profound indifference to also be a good strategy here. During the pandemic I was contacted by literally every guy I’ve even been on two dates with since 2018. My standard response was something like, “I don’t know why you are contacting me. We are not friends and we have nothing in common.” One of the dudes said, “Do I need to apologize to you or something?” I replied, “You don’t need to do anything, because other than these unwanted messages, I never think of you at all.” That seem… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/21 03:52 AM |
| 11 | Sharing my story: "jUsT cOmMuNiCatE bEtTeR" can be the gateway to abuseHere’s an article on it from a while back. https://www.businessinsider.com/strong-confident-people-end-up-in-abusive-relationships-2017-8 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/21 03:25 AM |
| 10 | HVM when dating as an older womanI’m 52 and childfree. Truthfully I don’t look for men to date; I just make friends of all ages and genders. If someday something comes across my path that way that turns into more, great, but I focus on friendship and community. If I were to think about dating someone, the things that are non negotiables for me are employment, monogamy, not having kids, no history of addiction, and a healthy lifestyle. This simple list eliminates about 99% of men in my city, but I’m totally ok with that. I’ve tr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 01:06 PM |
| 21 | Celibacy > LVMs, by farThis. I’ve been single by choice for a while. The high rates of STDs and drug use in my city mean the pool is pretty awful. Also, after COVID a lot of men in my age range are now unemployed, which means a lot of them are actively looking for women with jobs. Right now, it’s not worth it. Will have to see what happens if/when the economy improves, but I suspect a lot of these guys are not ever going to work again if they can find a willing female host to take them in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/21 12:35 PM |
| 49 | REMINDER: FDS is NOT WGTOW/OVARIT/FEMCEL etc, We're a Dating Strategy....So You Should, Ya'Know, DATE.Personally, I do not know any HVM (and I know quite a few) who would put time into a woman who they realized was dating multiple people. They are very monogamous guys, and turned off by that, just as I am turned off by the idea of dating a guy who is going on dates with multiple women. My experience has been that the HVM I know are willing to focus on one woman to get to know her if they see her value. Same for the HVW I know. I have seen multi-dating strategies fail and scare away HV people man… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/21 03:18 AM |
| 22 | Should I talk to my manager about a male coworker who I think is hitting on me covertedly and making me really uncomfortable?Another thing you can do: Carry a small notebook or legal pad and every time the dude tries to talk to you, write it down and ask him to repeat himself two or three times, noting time and date. Act like you don’t understand what he wants and keep asking to make sure he repeats the same thing every time. This will be part of your documentation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 10:27 PM |
| 36 | Should I talk to my manager about a male coworker who I think is hitting on me covertedly and making me really uncomfortable?I can see a few ways to handle this: Explain firmly to this dude that it is actually not your job to train him and that you do not have time to do it. If he needs anything more, he can go to your manager. Repeat this every time until he stops. Ignore his requests until he gives up. You are busy. You will get to it later. Later never comes. Let your manager know a trainer needs to be assigned to this fellow as you cannot do this plus your regular job. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 08:49 PM |
| 82 | He called me a princessYou will often find this attitude in men who perceive themselves as wealthy (whether or not they actually are is a whole different question which requires background checks and a lot of vetting). I too have been called an ‘ice Queen’ or ‘princess’ for not being willing to change my entire work schedule to meet up with a guy, or to drive to some other city I’m not familiar with if he lives way out of town. IME these dudes often feel they are a ‘catch’ because they have money or think they have mo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/21 06:15 PM |
| 3 | Don't "share" your friends!The only abusive relationship I’ve been in, which I referred to in another post, was a dude who tried to contact my friends (and any couples therapist we were seeing) to try to meet up/talk with them to express his “concerns” about my mental health. My friends did not fall for it and let me know immediately that he was trying to get together with them, but unfortunately two of the four couples therapists we did see apparently did fall for his bullshit and had conversations outside of our session… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 11:56 PM |
| 10 | JOHN MEEHAN FROM "DIRTY JOHN" WAS A HOBOSEXUAL. So many people hate FDS because we warn women about hobosexuals. Women have every right to protect ourselves from men who want to use and exploit us.I know for a fact that in my city homeless and out of work men use the library to surf dating sites to find women living alone to target. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/21 01:06 PM |
| 8 | Have any of you experienced worse street harassment since lockdown?Practice on yourself first. A good Goth outfit helps too. :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/21 03:23 AM |
| 76 | Have any of you experienced worse street harassment since lockdown?Depends on where you live. But I am a well trained firearms owner who does sometimes let that be known certain situations. I also have a knife throwing board that I regularly practice with that many people have seen me practicing with. Also I have mastered the art of an expressionless stare, holding their eyes and not responding to anything they are doing. Men find this terrifying. They’re banking on getting a reaction. Getting a black eyed stare with no other response really throws them for a l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/21 06:48 PM |
| 62 | Have any of you experienced worse street harassment since lockdown?I too get harassed in my yard. It’s when I’m out front working on the tiny garden. I’ve had men ride their bicycles multiple times past the house staring at me, try to talk to me, stop their cars and park across the street staring at me. It’s even worse when I’m out in my neighborhood walking, which I don’t do much anymore for that reason. And I am NOT young. But it’s like they’re just desperate and gross since these are men my age or older. That said, i have perfected certain ways of dealing wi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/21 06:42 PM |
| 37 | Always, ALWAYS check his phoneYes. You are free. You don’t have kids with him. You can leave and go on with your life. You’re also not alone, I’ve seen many of these cases over the COVID year, it exposed a lot of things and made it harder for men like this to keep their secrets. Many women are going through what you are going through. Some of them have children with the men or are financially dependent. But what they have in common: they are determined to get out, and they WILL get through this. You are strong and brave and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/21 04:01 AM |
| 6 | Single dads hatred for single mothers is pure projection. "I don't want to take care of another man's child!" No sir, you are looking for a childless woman to dump your parenting responsibilities onto, and a single mother is less willing to fill that role for you.Not to mention we aren’t interested in being financially preyed upon to support their pre existing family. There’s literally nothing in it for us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/21 01:08 PM |
| 2 | Men know.I have heard men, happily NOT friends of mine, say things like “my type is mentally ill/bipolar/depressed.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/21 03:19 AM |
| 29 | Caught Red-Handed (Literally)I was walking down a street in my hood when this happened. Pulled up beside me, all that. I turned and looked him in the eye and didn’t say anything. Just stared at him. He faltered and started looking nervous. I said, “What’s the matter my dude? What were you hoping for? That I would scream or cry or be upset? I am a grown ass woman. You think I’ve never seen a tired looking weenie before?” His mouth fell open and he tried to babble some nonsense and then he drove off in a huff. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/21 05:32 AM |
| 23 | Men know.So this. This is why I laugh out loud at women my age who come at me with “you’ll never get a husband behaving/thinking like that.” I could “get a husband” by the end of the year. All I would have to do is create a dating profile with one good enough picture and one sentence: “Quiet, domestic woman searching for good guy to take care of the rest of our lives.” I wouldn’t even have to say one thing about myself beyond that, I’d be flooded. Ask me how I know. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/21 03:01 AM |
| 2 | Why age gap relationships ain’t no good 😀👎🏼I have literally had women my age try to introduce me to men in their 70s “because he has money and wants someone to travel with him.” And I am like...girl. I DID NOT GET A MASTERS DEGREE AND START A BUSINESS TO BECOME A FREAKING ESCORT. Not only that, what kind of travel can someone that age do, eating and hotels? I know a few people in that age range who can do pretty adventurous things, and ALL of them are women. And they refuse to take men on their trips because they hold them back. Nuff sai… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/21 03:59 PM |
| 2 | I feel conflicted about the advice my therapist gave meYes. It’s all I do now. I do a lot to help women with career, education, and relationships. It’s the best work ever and it’s the good fight. As far as why they allowed it to happen: they were women, and conditioned into the shitty patriarchy just as much as anyone else. Also couples therapy at that time was still very focused on keeping people together (a lot of it still is which can be dangerous for women; couples therapy grew out of pastoral counseling which was basically about getting women t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/21 12:03 PM |
| 4 | I feel conflicted about the advice my therapist gave meIt was awful at the time. And disillusioning as hell. But it also made me the therapist I am today in many ways. My very first therapy client was a young woman in a terrible, scary, abusive relationship. When she told me what was happening I said to her, “I’m about to throw out everything they taught me in school about being neutral to help you.” Been doing it ever since. (Happy to report too that in addition to helping her escape, also helped her move on to an amazing relationship to a wonderfu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/21 12:02 PM |
| 12 | Why age gap relationships ain’t no good 😀👎🏼I mean what are we gonna have in common? our interests, health status, stages in life are going to be COMPLETELY different. Where would the connection points be? I don’t even get it. They’re often wealthy men looking for a younger “travel companion.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 06:45 PM |
| 7 | So guys do expect you to be a live in maid just because they earn more than you do. Nevermind the fact that if he lived alone he would still have to do them.They’ll be divorced soon. Women are gearing up. A year of COVID did it. They aren’t gonna know what hit them. Just wait. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 02:04 PM |
| 7 | I feel conflicted about the advice my therapist gave meVery few therapists will openly identify as feminist therapists because they don’t want to “alienate” men or pickme women as potential clients. Those of us that do, have it on our materials, our websites and listings. Search for feminist therapy and you’ll be in the right place. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 01:41 PM |
| 10 | I feel conflicted about the advice my therapist gave meNot to mention that if you’re an older woman like me, they pressure you to just accept any old scrote so you won’t be alone. I dropped my last therapist over this - he kept pressuring me to date guys with kids. I’m childfree. Fuck that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 01:31 PM |
| 17 | I feel conflicted about the advice my therapist gave meHa! This happened to me and I AM a therapist! It happened to me while I was in grad school TO BECOME A THERAPIST. I didn’t even know I was in an abusive relationship. What I did know was that the guy I was dating had a bad temper, yelled and criticized a lot, and kept pressuring me to move in together when I didn’t want to and had no intention of doing so. We saw four different couples therapists who all discounted his behaviors and told me I needed to “comfort” his “anxiety and abandonment issu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 01:28 PM |
| 34 | Why age gap relationships ain’t no good 😀👎🏼Oh yeah. I’m 52 and regularly get approached by 70 year olds. NO. Nope. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 01:07 PM |
| 43 | Why age gap relationships ain’t no good 😀👎🏼Yep. If they’re in their late 40s or early 50s many of them are in or about to hit a serious career downturn as well. A lot of them are going to be let go in favor of younger people who work well and willingly with women/BIPOC/LGBTQ+ folks. A lot of these guys are going to be let go over their sexism and racism and homophobia. They just don’t know it yet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 01:06 PM |
| 10 | Staying Away from Online Dating This SummerThis! Ive also noticed that I’m getting approached on other non dating social media platforms, which to me speaks desperation. And, a lot of these guys don’t have jobs anymore and the unemployment is running out, or that pandemic baby is coming, so they’re looking for women with jobs and any amount of money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 12:33 PM |
| 41 | Women don’t exist for your objectifying male gaze.I’m also Asian and tattooed from shoulder to mid thigh. I’ve been asked countless times for nude photos and the like. I take great pleasure in telling men that there are NO photos of these anywhere on the entire Web and that I don’t exist to get Instagram followers. Have a nice day now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 12:21 PM |
| 37 | If we’re Femcels, then why are Scrotes so obsessed with us??? 🧐This. Also mad because they cannot assume they’ll be able to extract resources (time, money, sex, emotional labor, caretaking) from us simply by bullying us into it. Women are OVER IT. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 12:19 PM |
| 2 | “You seem expensive”One of the secrets of being a happy woman is never and I repeat NEVER letting a man control your actions or take away what makes you happy. A free woman is a happy woman! Never forget! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 07:48 AM |
| 2 | “You seem expensive”Totally glad to help! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 04:29 AM |
| 1 | “You seem expensive”Here’s a few things to start with : https://www.disabled-bikers.com/ https://roadracerz.com/disabled-motorcycle-adaptations/ https://www.pinterest.com/calesdroid/accessible-motorcycle/ https://www.nabd.org.uk/adaptations/?page=adaptations/ Just google adaptive motorcycling or disability adaptations - there’s lots out there! My first track day ever, I got dusted by a guy who was a double amputee on a Harley. Never give up the dream! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 03:18 AM |
| 2 | “You seem expensive”There are mods I’ve seen made for people with disabilities - there’s a whole community around it. So even that doesn’t need to stop you. I’ve known people who could barely walk who were like birds on motorcycles, it’s beautiful to watch! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 03:13 AM |
| 2 | “You seem expensive”I didn’t get into motos until my 40s. Always wanted to as a kid, but back then, it was something only White boys got to do so I never got the chance. So, when I did it, I did it right - the bikes I want, the gear I want, track days, and ride as I please. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 09:11 PM |
| 4 | “You seem expensive”Heavy weed users use the expensive hybridized stuff. $400. -$600 a month for high THC weed isn’t atypical for heavy daily users. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 07:37 PM |
| 6 | “You seem expensive”He threw a mantrum stating that he “couldn’t deal wit someone who isn’t going to be around.” He was upset that I was not willing to consider changing my plans to “be Around” for him. I was like….you don’t do anything everyday anyway other than work out and watch movies…so what difference does it make? Also we’ve only been dating for a short time, this is not some kind of serious thing. But hey ok, have it your way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 07:35 PM |
| 25 | “You seem expensive”I know any number of men who could travel if they’d stop spending all their money on weed. But then again, they don’t want to travel because they can’t take weed on the plane. Seems to me like they’re creating their own issue, there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 04:52 PM |
| 35 | “You seem expensive”Oh, I don’t think that’s what it is. men don’t like it when women travel solo because it means they can’t “keep an eye on us” and “know what we’re doing” at all times. it’s a control thing. I dated a guy briefly in 2018 who freaked out and threw a mantrum when I informed him I’d be out of the country two months that year overseas. He made a dramatic scene about breaking up with me. We’d only been going on dates for about 8 weeks, so I just said, ‘Okay, that’s fine. This is nothing much happening… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 04:50 PM |
| 17 | “You seem expensive”Yep! All of the awesome trips I’ve taken have been with other women. And they weren’t expensive either. I also love solo travel with check in points with friends and family. best of both worlds! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 04:24 PM |
| 34 | “You seem expensive”Yeah. Hate about travel is def a thing. I’ve been places and done things that 99.5% of men never will, and I’m not rich - just motivated with a good career. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 04:19 PM |
| 40 | “You seem expensive”I did not! Dm me a link or tell me where to look for it. It’s not hard to travel when you don’t spend money on booze, takeout, video gaming, useless gadgets or porn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 02:35 PM |
| 160 | “You seem expensive”Not our fault they didn’t go to school, pursue career advancement or that they had a bunch of kids they can’t afford. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 02:31 PM |
| 131 | “You seem expensive”Oh also forgot to mention the hate you get as a woman for overseas travel. Against my better judgment i agreed to a blind “video date” recently and as soon as I mentioned hoping yo travel again internationally soon, the snark started about “wow don’t YOU have good connections.” Actually, I have family in two other countries. Thanks for letting me know you’re a cheap broke Ass. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 02:11 PM |
| 90 | “You seem expensive”Negging you about being able to afford nice things is a manipulative technique to make you feel guilted into spending money on HIM. Seen it a million times. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 02:06 PM |
| 101 | “You seem expensive”Ducati scrambler and ninja 400. Love both. Ride both. Motorcycles are love!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 02:02 PM |
| 722 | “You seem expensive”Have so often gotten this for having a personal trainer, having motorcycles, having nice makeup. I guess they think we are supposed to be spending our hard earned money on them and their kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 01:46 PM |
| 12 | Thoughts on matchmaking services?I’m too old to be matchmade, but younger friends of mine have been approached. In every case they were unable to get clear information about the men they were being “matched” with. ESPECIALLY age, which leads me to believe that the men were a LOT older than my friends. All of my friends declined to continue with the match process after they realized they would not be given basics about the man - age, level of fitness, whether he had kids. It’s reasonable to assume that the men using these servic… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 03:43 AM |
| 2 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.Oh no! I’m your height and I often wear and dance in 4” heels. You do you, screw ‘em if they can’t deal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 03:25 AM |
| 3 | Not sure if this has been posted before, but applies here.It’s astounding the way men in their 40s and 50s behave on the sites. I decided that seeing that was not enhancing my life! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 04:47 PM |
| 6 | intro from a FDS fan and crone-yFellow crone here! You made it through! Congratulations! I never did the whole long term marriage or kids thing. Glad you still have yourself intact and are taking GOOD care of yourself! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 03:54 PM |
| 6 | Celibacy is POWERFUL ❤️✨I tried casual arrangements a few times long ago, back when you could still meet decent people with OLD and way before the STI problem exploded to where it is now. I ended up bailing on all of the situations very quickly because the men expected and then started to demand emotional labor. They wanted me to listen to them bitch about their jobs, help them solve their problems, etc. When I told them this wasn’t part of the deal, they got extremely upset and I had to cut them off. Those long ago ex… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 03:52 PM |
| 4 | Not sure if this has been posted before, but applies here.Same. I stopped OLD because I got tired of being contacted for YEARS afterward by dudes I’d met maybe one time or in some cases never met at all. The fact that I didn’t see them as a catch appeared to be something they couldn’t understand or accept. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Not sure if this has been posted before, but applies here.In my 50s and same, but in COVID times many of these dudes seem suddenly interested in marriage/commitment to a childfree woman with her own income and a durable career. This tells me they’re even in worse shape now than they were before the pandemic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 03:39 PM |
| 3 | Foolproof vetting strategy: take him to the gymYep! Can’t even tell you how many dudes I’ve had ask me to teach them to shoot or to ride a motorcycle. Dude. NO. Bikes and guns are both dangerous and expensive. I paid for my training and so should you. Plus which, am I supposed to let you use my nice stuff to learn on too? NO!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Is Internet Misogyny Seeping Over IRL?I can speak to that becuase these guys are in my age range (40s - 50s). They’re super bitter that they no longer have jobs and womanly caretaking handed to them as they did when they were younger. They still expect these things and are angry that the world is no longer providing them. Additionally, they are now saddled with major expenses from divorce, childcare and reduced job prospects. However, if they’d worked harder on being kinder and better men earlier in life, they wouldn’t be i the posi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 03:12 PM |
| 7 | It Never EndsOh man. As an older (52) woman who stays in shape, one of my instant disqualifiers is a man in my age range who wants to talk to me “because you take care of yourself.” “Takes care of herself” is ALWAYS code for “isn’t overweight.” “Let herself go” is almost always code for gaining weight. But THEY’RE overweight! I just can’t with it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:56 PM |
| 8 | It Never EndsThis is amazing. Is this really true of Italian widows?!? I gotta know now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:52 PM |
| 6 | 'Nice' is a surface quality, true kindness is shown through actionsYep. “Well at least he isn’t hurting or cheating on me” is not really a strong list of pluses. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:46 PM |
| 4 | Gym CreepHaha. I have known too many dudes who used the gym as a dating site. They specifically looked for newcomers, women who were insecure about their body size and women who were always working out alone so they could approach and try to neg them by suggesting they needed help with their form. Best preventative is to have other women you always go with or work with a trainer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:45 PM |
| 7 | This was a post asking men what boundaries they have with women. Literally the first answer scrote says he wants her to show affection when she doesn’t want to. What the actual fuck. This doesn’t answer the question, also suggests you don’t want her to have her own boundaries. LoserI have noticed that when I ask men about their own conduct in relationships or what they bring to the table, they often very quickly default to wanting to talk about what they want the woman to do for them. I have to continually bring them back to the fact that I am asking them about THEIR responsibility and THEIR contribution to relationships, not for a list of what they want to get from women. It’s a lot of work. Which is why I get paid to do it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:33 PM |
| 3 | Dear Male Lurkers: This is WhyHa! I just told a man to shut the fuck up last week. A neighbor. He’s an abusive, weak scrote who screams at his wife and kids (we can hear it when they’re INSIDE their house.) He tried to get on my case about something i do in MY yard. I told him to STFU and also that he was a weak ignoramus and that he would not be giving me orders. His beat down wife stood beside him the whole time, to “support” him I guess. Then I walked away. He’s left me alone since. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:27 PM |
| 6 | I’m tired of men going “postal” and people accepting it as him just “having a bad day”I never understand it when people say this. It looks to me like men are expressing their violent and disgusting “feelings” just fine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:19 PM |
| 8 | Foolproof vetting strategy: take him to the gymI love this post! To this I’d add take him to the shooting range, or go on a Moto ride with him. Men say they’re into these things but 99% of them won’t actually show up to do them with a woman becuase: They’re lying about being involved in these things They don’t actually know anything about these sports They’re afraid of being shown up. I have said for the last 4 years, any time that I tried OLD, that I’d love to work out, shoot or ride with a guy. Never had any takers. They’d all cancel at th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:17 PM |
| 16 | Any man who dismisses your physical discomfort is trash.Have you ever noticed tho that when THEY have a cold, or a stubbed toe, it’s the end of the world tho? SMDH. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:10 PM |
| 8 | Walked out on my Toxic FamilyI totally support you. My parents are terrible people. I’ve kept them at arms length for years and finally cut them off for egregious and unsafe behavior during COVID. You did good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:08 PM |
| 15 | The difference between a real HVM and a fake one- how they treat you at the end.Ha! During “Snowvid” here in TX in February I was literally contacted by every dude I’d ever talked to in the last year about 3-4 days in. I was like “what’s the matter, you don’t have power or water and you’re looking for a place to stay?” Nope!! Good luck!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:07 PM |
| 9 | The difference between a real HVM and a fake one- how they treat you at the end.Yep! I stopped OLD because it seems like every dude I ever talked to even one time would continue to contact me for months to years afterward. We are talking these are people I never even met let alone went on a date with. It was ridiculous. I don’t have time for that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:05 PM |
| 9 | Why is it that most milestones in life that are celebrated include a man and procreation?I think this is a holdover from times when women couldn’t make meaningful progress in education and the business world. Obviously this is different now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:02 PM |
| 30 | And this is why it's important to date a man who is trustworthy.i still find men attractive. But I love myself more, and just don’t feel like surfing the ocean of cheating guys spreading STIs that is the dating scene in my city. Not into the gift that keeps on giving! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 12:12 AM |
| 7 | When a man says “If you don’t lower your standards you’ll die alone” he is admitting he is not good enough for you.They’re the ones who will die alone. Because, you know, women have these things called FRIENDS that they don’t have. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 02:41 PM |
| 4 | Underneath the mask is another mask, and under that is an abuser 😩Even at my age i still get approached by these “fake Dom looking for a strong independent woman to be their submissive” types. Being Asian doesn’t help since these dudes tend to assume my race = automatic submission on my part. I ask them why the hell a WOC would fight so hard to have her freedom only to turn around and give it away to some clueless douchebag whose sense of worth apparently rests on controlling another person. These guys are NOT Christian Grey. They can never answer the question… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 02:21 PM |
| 4 | Self Appreciation or Gratitude: what do you love about yourself?I’m proud to be an older, heavily tattooed, strong willed Asian women modeling fearless self love and taking no shit every day for the younger women under my care. It’s a good life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 02:16 PM |
| 4 | How do you respond when men ask questions or make comments about your intelligence?As someone who advises others for a living this happens all of the time. When anyone I don’t know makes a comment about my intelligence and I don’t know their intent, I just give them a searching unsmiling stare until they either explain themselves or go away. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 01:42 PM |
| 3 | Society needs more childfree HVW39 is young. You can easily go back to school and earn a degree or certifications. I went back to school at 38 to start my masters. How about a data science degree? Data science is in hot demand and a lot of the positions are remote work too. Believe in yourself. You sound intelligent and like you know what your abilities are. Don’t let where you’ve been determine who you will be. If you can go for it the second half of your life will be SO GOOD. Your kid is nearly launched. You will be FREE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 01:09 PM |
| 10 | Watch Out for Negs and Men Who Are Jealous Of YouWhat I always wonder is how they think any woman would go for a man with such a nasty envious attitude. It’s the opposite of attractive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 04:28 PM |
| 3 | Society needs more childfree HVWI’m so sorry. I spend a good deal of my professional life helping women get out of these situations when the time comes. I hope you can do what’s right for you and your kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 04:27 PM |
| 75 | Watch Out for Negs and Men Who Are Jealous Of YouJealousy from men is pretty much the reason I no longer date. I’m tired of hearing about my “luck” in having a business, a master’s, and a few fun extras in my life. I worked hard for ALL of these things but the way they talk about it you’d think they got handed to me by a courier from God. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 03:19 AM |
| 22 | Society needs more childfree HVWHear hear, I’m one of those older childfree women. I was just thinking today that one of the many benefits of being childfree is that I don’t have to put up with or stay with an immature, abusive man “because kids.” My neighborhood is full of women like this, educated women who are now SAHMs because their money making husbands insisted on it. They’re financially helpless, tied down to the kids, and beaten down. I think everyday about how glad I am to NOT be them. To not be tied to those bullying… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 10:35 PM |
| 9 | MEN ARE THE BIGGEST GOSSIPERSI will add to this that if you are someone who keeps it very reserved, men will be terrified of you. And you don’t have to do a thing but stay silent with knowing eyes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 03:59 AM |
| 3 | A conversation between my friend and I. We are in our 40s and married with children. Made me think of you girls.Single mother by choice- sperm bank/donor route. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/21 09:15 AM |
| 103 | Scrotes briefly got this video removed for “adult nudity and sexual activity” but it showed up on my FYP anyways. We should all approach OLD profiles with this attitude, it’s hilarious“Have kids, want more.” Yeah - what a winner | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 04:06 PM |
| 6 | A conversation between my friend and I. We are in our 40s and married with children. Made me think of you girls.I have a handful of women who have decided to go the SMBC way. Their kids seem really happy and well adjusted. It’s a super valid option. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 02:13 PM |
| 11 | A conversation between my friend and I. We are in our 40s and married with children. Made me think of you girls.As someone who helps mentor and develop female CEOs (most of whom choose to be single and that is NOT a coincidence), hear hear!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 01:57 PM |
| 3 | The myth that young women will lust after 45 year old men in their apparent ‘peak earning potential’ 🤪I’ve worked with any number of younger women who have lost both quite a chunk of money and precious years investing into a guy like this only to realize she’s being used. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 12:37 PM |
| 53 | The myth that young women will lust after 45 year old men in their apparent ‘peak earning potential’ 🤪That whole thing about older men having more resources is a myth - from an older woman (me) without kids. Older men who are divorced with kids are often deep in debt. That’s why you will so often see them looking for younger women with earning potential. They’re in over their head with childcare costs, divorce debt and often in a not so great spot with their careers. Just because they live in a house doesn’t mean they can pay for it. A younger, childfree partner with a good job is viewed as a re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 06:44 PM |
| 1 | Why are relationship-seeking attractive men on OLD single? What’s the catch?This! Every man I met in his 50s was looking for someone to take care of him, meaning his finances, his house and his kids or grandkids. It was pretty obvious that they’d marry whoever would do free work for them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/21 07:12 PM |
| 1 | Why are relationship-seeking attractive men on OLD single? What’s the catch?So this. I know many, many attractive and high value women 20s-40s who have all been on Bumble 3+ years. Not ONE of them has had a single lasting relationships come from it. It seems like a huge waste of time and energy. In my age range (late 40s-50s) there were a number of men on Bumble who, although they looked good “on paper,” were all in various states of financial ruin and VERY focused on finding someone to financially help them out. Same on Hinge. Sure, they wanted relationships with women… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/21 07:08 PM |
| 18 | I'm a therapist and I can't do couples counseling anymoreOh boy does that resonate. Only once was I in an abusive relationship, and four couples therapists didn’t seem to be able to see it, though I described behaviors like yelling at me constantly, wearing me down with excessive demands, trying to sabotage my school progress, etc. That guy had been in 12 step for many years and was adept at manipulating therapists as well as crying on command when the therapist would start to hone in on the dysfunctional thinking behind his actions. I was about to gr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 03:17 AM |
| 11 | Her divorced boyfriend with two kids wants his childfree girlfriend to move in with him and pay HIS mortgage with HER rental income - meant for her own mortgage that she can barley afford. Yet GOLDDIGGERS are only women right?!This is why I refuse to date men with kids. Most of their motivation for wanting to date me seems to be financial. No thanks. (I’m childfree) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 02:17 PM |
| 19 | Hating men takes too much work, just acknowledge that they are dangerous and untrustworthy and stay away from them.Having given dating some pretty good efforts over the last 3 years with exactly no worthwhile results, I’m totally good with singledom. I have tons of friends and tons of interests. I love my life. The hassle and time wasting of trying to date just didn’t compare with the joy I get out of my everyday life. It wasn’t hard to let go of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/21 02:08 PM |
| 27 | Trying to understand how FDS can be in favor of marriage.I find that ever since the pandemic started, it’s men who are approaching ME about commitment and marriage. This wasn’t happening before COVID. Before COVID, they were mostly chasing much younger women and ignoring me. Of course, what’s changed is that many of these men have lost jobs and are no longer financially able to support themselves, their kids, or their previous lifestyle. And the younger girlfriend doesn’t make any money. So suddenly, there’s a lot of interest in childfree women their … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/21 04:39 AM |
| 54 | The audacity. You have absolutely nothing to offer any woman. You are not genuine. Your partner would be better off without you and probably your daughter as well.Agree with this. I have recently been approached by several guys in this situation. So confusing, because they have literally nothing that a childfree, independent woman would want, just a bunch of drama, baggage, and whining. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/21 03:08 PM |
| 4 | Ladies - Talk me through positives of wilfully remaining single & being happy.Yes. That is the key here. You get ONE life. How do you want to spend that time? Who do you want to spend it around? That’s your life. If you happen to meet someone along that road you can date, great. If not - you still have a great life! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/21 03:06 PM |
| 15 | Ladies - Talk me through positives of wilfully remaining single & being happy.As someone who’s 52, child free and marriage free and dating free, I feel like answering your post. I didn’t really stop dating on purpose. I got involved in things that meant a lot to me - getting a graduate degree, continuing studying the arts, motorcycle riding, BLM, a host of other things. Dating just sort of fell by the wayside through all that, and I never really bothered to put much effort into it afterward either. I think happiness has a lot to do with a combo of good self care, caring a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/21 05:06 AM |
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