TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

raphaellastorm Archive

View 7 posts and 264 comments by raphaellastorm on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

Is this real? It seems almost fake once he gets to the part where she literally got fired from her job. Are these people even in a relationship? How does this happen??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 11:55 PM
27

He doesn’t love you, or he wouldn’t do this. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you?
/r/askFDS12/01/22 02:42 AM
74

Damn, isn’t it the truth. All I’ve learned from casual sex is that UTIs are incredibly painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:54 PM
66

Yes, this. My ex had the unbelievable audacity to tell me when I was 27 and he was 25 that women “waste” their 20s not having children and focusing on career and would likely regret it. I told him he didn’t have to worry, I very much wanted to get married and have a child. Then he broke up with me a month before I turned 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 01:51 AM
10

If you’re not physically attracted to your boyfriend, you’re not physically attracted to him. Your body wants to procreate and make a baby with a man you’re attracted to and so you’ll continue to feel strong sexual attraction to others if you’re not attracted to who you’re with. Realizing it’s just biology is a good first step, but biology and attraction is important. It sounds like you should break up with your boyfriend.
/r/askFDS10/08/21 06:08 PM
9

It seems to me like you don’t love yourself and who you are. You’re very critical and think you need to be someone that you just aren’t. Self-care to me, for you, that would help would be to embrace who you are and connect more with that. An awesome career will not give you high self-esteem. Neither will exercise. Those are great, but self-esteem will come from picking yourself, asserting your boundaries, not letting others hurt you, making choices that focus on you being happiest. You have no i…
/r/askFDS04/08/21 03:54 AM
35

I think you need to work on your self-esteem, strengthening and cultivating friendships, and just being yourself. Literally you don’t need any of this. You need to learn to be okay being yourself and ignore people that are just trying to bring you down, like your sibling.
/r/askFDS03/08/21 10:37 PM
27

You’re absolutely right about it being a bad idea to ask for advice on male dominated Reddit subs. My heart always breaks for the poor naive teenage girls who post and the responses are all “you need to work on your insecurities,” i.e. learn to accept any bad behavior and internalize it as a problem with you, when literally what teenage girls should be doing is the opposite and building up their self-esteem and standards, not lowering them in a race to the bottom to please whatever creep they’re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:49 PM
86

Yes, it’s very true. Also (while you should not use them), beware of dating apps that encourage you to lay out what you’re looking for or your standards. I made the mistake earlier this year of using my old okc account to date where years and years ago in ultimate pickme days I answered tons of questions, including after how many dates I would be comfortable with sex. The idea I guess to gauge compatibility but this is ridiculous. I had put 6+ and a guy I dated off there literally counted down t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 11:48 PM
48

When I was with my LVM ex I was always reminding my friends he was my “best friend” and I loved him because I otherwise was always brutally depressed about how he treated me. It’s definitely a cope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 04:03 AM
31

A LVM I dated a bit ago tried to make me jealous by repeatedly bringing up this girl. I was unamused and asked if he still had feelings for her. He tried to say no, because she was heavy. Nevermind that he too was heavy, women obviously cannot be heavy and attractive. Men can be as heavy as they want and still obviously attract attention. 🙄. Men are so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 10:55 PM
286

I didn’t want to give a guy I was dating a while ago a blowjob because I was on my period, and disinterested in sexual contact in general at that moment. He seriously pouted and said he felt like I was denying him. We had been dating for about 2 months. He was 34. They’re like manipulative children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 01:00 AM
9

A lady last night that is a friend of my mom and I grew up around asked me if I have “someone special in my life.” I said no and she so awkwardly said “well, I’m sure you’ll meet someone soon.” She is actually also single in her 60s and has been forever and I really wanted to say “Maybe not, most men are absolutely terrible,” but I refrained.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:43 PM
18

That’s hilarious, good for you. “Because nobody wanted me” is really what they are implying with their BS questions but I bet makes them so uncomfortable to hear, which they deserve for such a cringe question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:41 PM
12

Yes, so painful to read because I’ve literally done the same thing. I’ve actually made myself I can will myself into liking men because they seem like I should like them because they have x, y, z qualities but I actually don’t feel any romantic attraction to them. It’s so true about men being emotionally stunted and unavailable. They have no capacity for intimacy, so how could they even make you comfortable enough to create that “spark”? It’s crazy you think the same way! I feel like a lot of my…
/r/askFDS16/07/21 06:22 PM
31

I can relate. After my relationship ended I went on an OLD splurge ( I have since deleted that toxic mess) and went so many dates with guys who looked great at least on paper and felt nothing. Most completely creeped me out if they tried to touch me, even if they weren’t terrible looking. Guys ask me out in person too but I’m mostly disinterested. Very recently though I met a guy who seems really great through friends that I felt a natural affinity with though and we have turned out to have a lo…
/r/askFDS16/07/21 05:29 AM
12

It’s funny because women’s ways are always so much better than men.. like at 30 I go to bed by 10pm/11pm, wake up early and run, keep my house organized and clean and beautiful, and eat healthy. Men don’t want a woman who is wise to what an incredible loser he is and will make him start acting like an adult and stop playing video games until 4am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 06:00 PM
5

Who cares if he “likes” you? He is a creep and also doesn’t know anything about you, how could he like you? Did you guys have a conversation about your favorite book? Did you tell him what kind of house you want to live in when you’re older or what your career goals are or what makes you feel happy and fulfilled? All he knew is he wanted to have sex with you. And he was willing to manipulate someone ten years his junior to get it. That’s how low value in character he was. You must, now, get over…
/r/askFDS08/07/21 06:00 PM
2

Asking if you were looking for “marriage” or just specific sex acts. What a manipulative psycho.
/r/askFDS08/07/21 05:45 PM
5

Or a very misguided woman! But you only met him once and most of your conversations were fights over text… I’m not sure how anyone could fall in love that quickly and over those circumstances. I think he was asking because he wanted to absolve himself of any guilt if you were serious, given what an absolutely creepy predator he was being..
/r/askFDS08/07/21 04:10 PM
19

Yeah…. the advice someone gave you about he “truly loves you” and “wants to consider marrying you” is absolutely bonkers and absurd. He quite literally said the opposite. He only wanted to hook up with you. I’m not sure how much more clear it could be. This guy is totally bad news bears and you should stay away. Please don’t date for awhile and when you do, stick to guys within 1-2 years of your own age.
/r/askFDS08/07/21 04:02 PM
–

This sub is literally shaming women for having mental health problems. Would you shame someone for having cancer? What about for having Down’s syndrome? Apparently it’s okay to shame people for having asbergers, or being introverted. The actual obvious conclusion from all of this data is that women who have been abused by others, or who are socially awkward or shy, are more likely to be abused in dating relationships, and therefore some have sought out community for support. Is that community pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 07:23 PM
–

FDS is the only female community on Reddit where women can have true community other women. I wouldn’t personally say everything that every user says on FDS but I understand that posting on Reddit is venting and other women need community. I personally don’t agree with unkindness in any form. I also understand how it is frustrating for women, who are trained from birth to believe their self-worth is tied to their appearance, when men have no such beliefs or ideas and their self-worth can come fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 06:30 PM
–

I absolutely do not see that. FDS, at its core, is a strategy to protect oneself from abuse. Period. The average Redditor hates FDS because the average Redditor is primed to hate women. Period. People on this sub cherry-pick and take statements out of context to hate FDS. But FDS is about women having community to support other women and to remind other women they don’t have to be abused or accept abuse to have love (and also that abuse is directly contradictory to love). That as a woman it’s pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 06:04 PM
–

I’m officially done with this sub. There is no good faith here - it is only how can we remind women they are not human but animals. Women who were abused by their fathers or other men are obviously more likely to accept abuse in relationships and miss red flags early on. That these women would seek support from other women to be able to recognize abuse so they aren’t trapped continually in a cycle of abuse should be obvious and not just okay, but good and great, and what platforms like Reddit ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 05:51 PM
30

I dated a guy for a month or so earlier this year who tricked me into a walk date for our first, real date. Prior to the date he said maybe we could go for a “walk” or a “picnic” because he was too afraid to go to a restaurant with covid. We showed up for the date and there was no picnic food so we just walked around. He had brought a blanket for us to sit on and halfway through the date he was asking me what we should do and where we should sit, etc. And then when I very breezily said whatever …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:39 PM
3

I wholly disagree. I know a lot of really financially successful men but they get old and age just like women. Men want to still be attractive to women. Doesn’t make it so.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 03:48 PM
7

Friends organize social events. They have parties, hangouts, etc. and you meet people in their circle that way. Or they invite you to join a group or go to an event and suddenly you meet a lot of people. It takes patience and time and really investing in female friendship, which is always a win-win-win anyway. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to mention to a female friend you’re interested in dating so she thinks to invite her cool or cute single friend she knows to a get together just because but …
/r/askFDS03/07/21 08:03 AM
0

Attraction is more than just raw looks and personality. It’s about how you present yourself and how happy and confident you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 11:02 PM
22

That’s horrifying. You would think after you didn’t lie down he would realize that was inappropriate and get back up, but no. I’m amazed he didn’t just fall asleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 08:58 PM
25

I can’t stand this question, “what should we do?” Or “what do you have in mind?” Like seriously, this is really that hard for you, you don’t know what people do on dates? I think guys ask this either out of insecurity (a big turn off) or sheer laziness/disinterest. Men know what appropriate dates are. And then they always they to play it off like “some women like to do different things and plan things.” Like no, they don’t - they probably just got exhausted that you didn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 08:56 PM
4

Everyone on this post is like obsessed with sex. It’s bonkers. If you want to have regular sex, you need to have a partner, which means you mean to be attractive to a mate. Focus on being attractive to a mate. 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 08:20 PM
31

Yes, this is normal. I felt the same way using OLD. I’m very introverted and nerdy (but in my own very specific ways, as all nerds are) and I value commonality highly in a partner. A lot of guys I met on OLD were really extroverted to a point where I couldn’t relax and be myself with them or didn’t have anything in common. I met a few introverted nerds like myself but usually we didn’t share the same or close enough to the same interests so it didn’t work. OLD is not recommended by the handbook …
/r/askFDS02/07/21 08:14 PM
14

Hot damn, she’s dating someone who has the same violent tendencies as Ted Bundy and she is trying to make him feel comfortable enough to talk to her… I hope only because she is wearing a wire and is an informant for the FBI. This is so disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 06:36 PM
4

Yes this. I used to think therapy was useless too because the therapists I saw were not helpful. They didn’t engage with me on the level I needed and tried to share relatively simple tricks that didn’t address the big gaps in my life. Finally I found a therapist I’ve been six months now and it’s taken this long for me to really feel happy and feel the fruits of therapy. Therapy is a process and you need to stick with it and shop around for one that works for you. OP, I also think if you’re so de…
/r/askFDS02/07/21 05:45 PM
53

It’s so gross when you think of it. But they’re so addicted to it. It’s creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 06:41 AM
9

You need to get treated for your mental health problems. Find a good psychiatrist and explore your options, and also find a good therapist who works for your needs. You need to be mentally healthy, because to make friends, you must be a friend, and that’s probably why it’s been hard for you to make connections in the past because you’re not being yourself and asking people to hang out, be your friend, etc. Everyone wants friends, so it’s okay if that’s your goal when joining hobbies or volunteer…
/r/askFDS02/07/21 06:38 AM
16

Because we all know that’s what every man is looking for.. a woman whose got this.. Amazing that a man knew this to be true and told on all other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:47 PM
1

That is… odd. I am very introverted but I seek out other introverts to date close to my own age. I’ve never thought, I’m super introverted and it’s hard for me to make friends or have certain experiences because I’m introverted so I should go ahead and date someone ten years younger than me who is extroverted so our “experiences” match up. I think, who is a good fit for my life? Idk, I couldn’t personally imagine dating anyone who doesn’t have my same life experiences, i.e. graduating from colle…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 07:42 PM
1

I don’t claim to be more “pure and wholesome” than women on Tinder. I have lots of flaws, and don’t judge others. I feel bad, honestly, for women who seek validation through sex on Tinder. I think for many women (and men) Tinder and casual sex are manifestations of a sex and love addiction, and like all addictions, people are fueled by the addiction and not their own “agency.” But I don’t mean that as a judgment or criticism or attack. We all have flaws and I recommend therapy for anyone who str…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:47 PM
4

I wait to have sex for the simple reason that sex is special and intimate to me and I don’t want to have it with someone I don’t really care about. Honestly, I would prefer to wait until we we were both exclusive and in love to have sex. I just don’t enjoy it otherwise. I see a lot on this sub about how “women don’t enjoy it because they don’t communicate,” but I’m very shy and I don’t feel comfortable with someone I don’t know super well. It seems so strange to me our culture has made it normal…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:38 PM
1

I actually didn’t mean that women’s bodies weren’t being treated as commodities on Tinder…. I meant it wasn’t like prostitution for women because men aren’t treated as commodities on Tinder…. but actually you proved my point about why they are both bad and it doesn’t make sense to compare men and women’s experiences of them. In both situations, female sexuality is being exploited.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 02:56 PM
3

WOW. I think you totally miss the fundamental problem with prostitution: women’s bodies are being treated as commodities. That doesn’t happen with Tinder. Who cares if some LVM wants to use a prostitute; that makes them gross because they literally don’t view women as people, but as objects to be bought and sold, and no one woman would want to date them. The problem with prostitution is how the woman is being treated. Unreal 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:17 AM
1

This is silly. And why isn’t the reverse true of men if it’s true of women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:13 AM
0

What is an “experience match”?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:07 AM
3

Thank you! It’s exhausting interacting with some of the people on this sub. It’s no wonder they are single.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 01:22 AM
0

That makes sense. I’m sure in a year or so I can meet someone. I’m just holding out for someone really special and great.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 05:54 PM
1

I know you are being sarcastic, but honestly if I never fall in love again I could go the rest of my life without sex. But I very much want a best friend and partner, so I’m motivated to have a relationship. My motivation isn’t sex; it’s companionship and partnership. OP’s post is dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 05:26 PM
-1

Personally, I don’t enjoy sex outside of a relationship and so yes, the idea I can get sex outside of a relationship is absolutely meaningless to me. I’ve been single for four months and haven’t had sex once. I find the idea of having sex with someone I’m not in love with repulsive and gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 04:25 PM
4

My mom got married to my dad and it ruined her life. My dad basically decided he was never going to try to get a job and has never worked and does nothing around the house ever. My mom works constantly. Now he’s 68 and doesn’t let her do anything and only talks to her about the food he wants, and if she doesn’t make it the way he likes he berated her. She has no friends and no hobbies. If she comes home from work and sits on the couch he asks her what’s wrong even though he watches TV all day. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:42 PM
1

I actually don’t think that guys very cute.. not my type 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 05:49 AM
6

🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 04:08 AM
7

I didn’t really respond to the rest because the rest is a bit ridiculous. There are men who take care of their appearance, work hard, and will be nice to women. The idea that somehow this is unrealistic is setting the bar way too low for men. Somehow men ran the world for generations and women were subjugated but it’s too hard for them to look after themselves, work hard and be nice? Idk I guess I have high expectations and think highly of what men can be and can accomplish.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 01:45 AM
14

No lol, you misunderstand. Because sex is quite literally designed to be biologically pleasurable to men, and male pleasure is a guarantee, the focus should be on female pleasure, so that both parties can experience pleasure. Otherwise men can just stfu about not having enough sex or women not enjoying sex enough. Maybe you don’t care about having sex and/or are fine having sex with someone doing it just for you as some kind of chore or obligation, idk. But women care, and OP’s thesis that it’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 01:30 AM
11

I don’t think everything is gendered, no. That’s an odd conclusion (and I’m guessing subtle jab) to come to, given we are chatting in a subreddit on gender issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 01:02 AM
11

Okay, definitely you’re a man then.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:53 AM
12

Well, if you were a woman, I would assume you were being sarcastic, because we would both know that that was silly and women’s pleasure is rarely prioritized, and that’s why we have the orgasm gap. If you were a man, it would be absurd, as biologically sex is heavily skewed toward male pleasure, and just plain intercourse from an evolutionary standpoint is not guaranteed to provide female pleasure like it is male pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:46 AM
9

Well, depending on your gender the sarcasm could have very different underlying meanings.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:34 AM
8

Are you being sarcastic? I can’t tell if you’re a man or a woman so it’s hard to interpret your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:31 AM
1

I would love to meet the man you described and be with him. Is he available?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 10:06 PM
–

If they’re “settling” that doesn’t sound like hypergamy to me, that sounds like the literal opposite… I just don’t know anyone who has married someone they didn’t love. All my female friends are either married or engaged and they married for love. Although most of them earn more than their spouse too, but that’s just because they’re killing it. Women in general are.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 08:21 PM
–

Why would any young attractive woman marry a man she didn’t love? Surely she could find one she did. Your hypothetical doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know of anyone who fits that description. Do you know of a lot of woman who do?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 08:14 PM
–

Actually, you didn’t say anything about how the men looked in your “example.” Also, I think the fundamental problem with your example is it assumes relationships are transactional and not built on mutual respect, love, partnership, etc. And likewise assumes that men view relationships as purely transactional and about sex and none of those other items. Which idk, may be true, I believe less and less that men respect and view women as human beings, therefore it makes sense men would be incapable …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 08:03 PM
71

He has to please her sexually? No, I prefer men who use my body as a masturbatory aid. This is so ridiculous lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:59 PM
–

Women’s only value isn’t how sexually attractive you find them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:53 PM
–

This is a lot of words for saying “I hate women.”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:44 PM
4

Congrats on the group then! (P.S. make sure it’s one you really want; how things appear over the summer are not necessarily how they will be later.). Of course you’ll get an offer. You have to really mess up not to, even to get cold offered. It sounds like you set really strong boundaries! I think not drinking too much (or at all) is key for setting boundaries in biglaw. By the end I went to every event and had a sparkling water and pretended it was a gin and tonic. It’s important to have allies…
/r/askFDS29/06/21 05:06 PM
9

I am an introverted nerd myself, and have always principally wanted a partner that was also my best friend, so that is why. 🤣 But finding a good one is harder than you would think…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 03:59 PM
10

I (30F) used to work at a big firm just like you. I recently escaped; someday you will too. Summer events are known for being debaucherous, given the amount of drinking/people believing they are gods gift to earth because they’re working at a big firm and don’t realize how utterly miserable biglaw actually is. People think this entitles them to act inappropriately. Men are especially bad at this—I saw so many men throughout my time in biglaw trying to hook up with other summers / associates / et…
/r/askFDS29/06/21 03:27 PM
16

Does this even happen? I guess I can’t relate because I have always liked introverted nerds.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 02:07 PM
7

I have matched on dating apps with tons of guys I would rate as very average, and I personally am good looking, and they still have asked for just casual sex. It’s like, seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 11:58 PM
1

I care a lot about my appearance—I try to eat right, work out, dress feminine, have long hair, wear makeup, etc. I do absolutely believe in pretty privilege, and think I get treated better in general, and have had more dating opportunities because I’m pretty. FDS helps to wade through those opportunities and find ones that actually will make me happy and add value to my life. They aren’t mutually exclusive and it’s bizarre you’re trying to make them out to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 08:33 AM
1

Personally, my ideal physical type has remained mostly the same as in high school - I like guys exactly (or around) my height (5’7”) that are thin, not muscular (some lean muscle is fine, but not bulky). The only thing is in high school I preferred guys with brown hair, now I prefer guys that are blond or redheads, but all are good. Oh, and glasses, I love glasses on a guy. My ideal type would be like a Jesse Eisenberg or Michael Cera. Somehow this is difficult to find, sigh. (Also, I’m 30, so y…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 10:23 PM
1

Again, the people you personally know is vastly smaller than the aggregate people known by those on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 06:19 PM
-1

But your only counter is anecdotal experience, which is even more biased and niche. Where’s your data to refute this?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 06:02 PM
12

While it hurts to point out what should be obvious, does it occur to you that women who self-select to participate on this thread might be different than the women you anecdotally describe from real life? Thus, both things could be true, a lot of women could hate casual sex, and a lot of other women could be having it, and both groups are significant in size? Also, while it pains me to add this too, in my experience the women I know who do have or have had casual sex (and admittedly it’s few), t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 05:55 PM
1

Honestly, why even have sex with women then? Just stop if it bothers you so much. You don’t understand women; sex is not the same for women as it is for men. Have sex with a man then, as they’ll put forth the effort you crave.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 03:09 PM
1

I think maybe you misunderstood what I said then. It absolutely “turns me on” to give a blowjob to someone I’m attracted to if they are appreciative, i.e. into it. Sex in general is the same - it turns me on too. But I can’t get off with either, and being turned on without getting off is just torture honestly because it’s not satisfying and leaves you wanting more. But a lot of men won’t do anything more elaborate than that, even if they’ll accept a blowjob, thus the point of my comment. So I co…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:11 PM
1

What does “enjoy” mean to you? I highly doubt that giving a blowjob brings sexual pleasure to any woman, so I guess you just don’t like blowjobs? Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 06:47 PM
7

I don’t have a mindset of demanding additional effort. I just appreciate effort, of any form, to help get me off. I am so confused and baffled by your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 06:23 PM
11

Wow, I guess wanting to orgasm makes me “privileged” and “princess” like. And men wonder why women are so “passive.” 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 04:28 PM
3

Lol, I surely wasn’t. Most men use women as pure masturbatory aids, of course they don’t actually “need” much from the woman—they aren’t capable of that kind of intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 03:30 PM
4

I’ve given oral to every guy I’ve ever dated, not because I enjoy it, sometimes I have if the guy is appreciative, but often guys don’t have great hygiene and it truly is just a selfless act for the other person. Oral (for myself) is absolutely my favorite part of sex and I’ve gotten it from one boyfriend a few times. Those few times were enough to seal for me it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. The last guy I dated I had sex with three times before I realized he hadn’t even fingered m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 02:32 PM
14

So basically you admit that sex is totally for men (as intercourse = sex to most men), and women don’t get any benefit out of it, and whether or not women get off is irrelevant, but you’re complaining women don’t put enough effort toward intercourse by saying women give “starfish” sex? Do you you actually not realize how absurd you are? Women are literally giving sex, with nothing in return, because it’s not really your “fault” or “problem” if they get anything in return, but you’re still compla…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 02:26 PM
4

You’re cool without orgasming if the guy is hot enough? You need better standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 01:48 PM
9

So men clearly do not put forth enough effort in sexual encounters
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 01:37 AM
15

So, like, what about the orgasm gap?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 01:28 AM
17

I really think there is no way to optimize OLD. The problem with OLD is the user. Men often try really hard IRL before they resort to apps. Other men don’t really try at all, then use OLD. You want neither man. These type of men tend to be pornsick. I had a man I met on OLD who on paper had lots of HV traits. He took me on dinner dates and was polite. But he some made sexual comments that made me feel gross. After a few dates the topic of porn came up. I usually directly ask guys if they watch p…
/r/askFDS20/06/21 02:57 PM
–

That women seek out and enjoy casual sex. The only times in my life I’ve ever had “casual” sex was when I was feeling broken (usually right after a breakup) and thought the sex would fulfill me emotionally. It never did and I regretted it almost immediately. That height matters a lot. I’m 5’7” and two of my longest relationships were with men my exact same height. Women hit the wall at 30. This makes me laugh. I just turned 30 and I’ve never felt I looked better. People often think I’m much, muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 11:52 PM
4

Wait, lol, none of this makes any sense. She was willing to compromise, a lot. Marriages should combine finances. What in the world is wrong with society? It’s just pure hatred toward women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:22 PM
1

I only have sex in relationships personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 05:06 AM
2

Wow, the last part really sucks—he created her Reddit account so she could “vent,” i.e. so she would shut up and he stopped having to listen to or care about her feelings or needs. Brings back bad memories of my LVM ex who, every time I would tell him I was sad or upset about how he treated me, told me to talk about it with my therapist. Trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:46 AM
2

Haha, well, I guess I wasn’t the most attentive girlfriend in the world 🙃. I did watch all of Voyager for that relationship, which was actually pretty delightful.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 09:15 PM
5

Yes, really. Nothing is more disappointing than having sex and the man getting up and leaving and it all being over, and you didn’t get off but desperately wanted to. To be sure, 95% of the time I’ve gotten off, even with a partner, I still had to get myself off or use a vibrator. But if the person didn’t bother to even turn me on, then I don’t bother trying to masturbate to get off because it would feel better if I had done it at home by myself. At least I wouldn’t feel cheated then. It’s been …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 08:24 PM
2

Weird, I have never. How strong an orgasm is for me depends a great deal on how turned on I am, and how happy and comfortable and in the moment I feel, but different people are different I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 08:20 PM
4

I’m assuming you actually directed this question toward me. No, having an orgasm has never been rare for me in a committed relationship with someone I love when we make love. In other circumstances, such as in a newer relationship or where the other person is selfish and there’s a lack of intimacy, then I don’t usually orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 07:48 PM
2

Well, yes. If everything leading up to the orgasm was amazing, the orgasm would be amazing. If everything leading up was bad, the orgasm might not even happen. Then there’s in between. I might have a so-so orgasm if things are just okay, but there’s effort and comfort. So, yes, I do judge based on that. A lot goes into that obviously, how attracted I am to the person and how close I am to the person being chiefly important.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 07:45 PM
14

I really don’t know. I judge sex based on the quality of the orgasm and know some women who will accept sex as decent even without one. This makes little to no sense to me, for obvious reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 07:06 PM
11

It’s horrifyingly low. He put effort into oral sex, and also bought me an amazing vibrator he used on me. We were also in love, so that helped a lot, obviously. He was a classic nerd. Shy, goofy, and sweet. The kind of guy who had multiple lego models of Star Trek space ships. I am rather nerdy myself, so have always preferred nerds.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 06:39 PM
79

All men know that a traditional, romantic first date is dinner. You could add in a little coffee and a walk after dinner, if you plan it right, but every man knows that those are not appropriate dates. If a man really liked you, they would take you out to dinner. This especially is why OLD is a scam because men have literally conditioned ourselves to believe that we are not worth dinner, because we are strangers. Better believe those same guys if they had the chance to go on a date with their dr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:35 AM
34

Preach sis. It’s so true — if a man is really looking for a woman to commit to, then he is choosy and treats the ones he’s interested in like a gentleman. Men think we don’t realize this, but we do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:32 AM
20

Thank you! I needed this. I have had some terrible events happen in my life but I’ve worked hard to get past them. I’ve sought professional mental health help and try to live a balanced life. That is enough. No one needs to know anything else about you. This is a relatively minor issue, but I’m very shy. I think I am more shy because of past traumas but I’m also just very introverted and a little nerdy. My wonderful therapist, bless her heart, suggested that I tell men I met on OLD this on a pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:45 PM
1

Yikes, wow again, I think you really fail to understand FDS. I think you are just looking for any reason to hate women on there, which is cool, but I don’t think I can convince you of anything if you just have to have something to rage about, I guess. I wish you all the best!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 07:27 PM
1

“Where broken people go to discuss a broken world.” Wow, weird — you just described how most churches market themselves! Maybe going to church isn’t healthy either! :).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 07:03 PM
2

Wow, you are having a sad day my man. This is the day the Lord has made, try to rejoice and be glad in it. I think women supporting other women toward a goal of a happy life and committed, satisfied relationship is wonderful. I don’t know why you’re so fixated on it. I don’t know where you’re getting this “degenerate” stuff from. Please don’t pity me. I’ve never been happier in my life than since I followed some basic tenets of FDS, like delete OLD, and only engage with men who respect my sexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 06:55 PM
2

You pity women for supporting other women and trying to live their best lives, free of harassment, neglect, and abuse but instead happy? We must not believe in the same God. The Jesus I know from the Bible wouldn’t “pity” women for that. P.S. Jesus forgave everyone and made everyone “worthy.” Your comment reeks of judgment but Jesus said to take the log out of your own eye before removing the speck out of someone else’s. I really think you need to go back to your Bible my friend. Maybe you would…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 06:36 PM
5

I’d like to get married and have a family, ideally two kids. I want to be with my best friend. Ideally we would both work, but if it was financially possible for one of us to stay home, I think that’s invaluable for children. I’d like to have a house in the suburbs and spend lots of time making memories with my spouse and children, eating dinner at the table together every night, going on family trips and adventures. Life is enjoyed in the little pleasures. I’d also like to cultivate a community…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 05:02 PM
8

Lol, yes. My LVM ex’s favorite word was “maybe.” Maybe always meant no, but he denied that was the case. “Will you come visit me?” - Maybe. “Will you spend time with my family?” - Maybe. “Do you really want to be with me?” - Maybe. I cringe so much to reflect on it. Idk why I didn’t leave at the first maybe but I wanted to believe that time he was telling the truth and wasn’t just leading me on.
/r/askFDS12/06/21 04:45 PM
120

OLD is the scourge of society. I used OLD religiously for awhile and deleted it, but met at least once man I thought was a good match for me. We had common interests, similar values, and he was well-educated and smart. He made some overtly sexual comments and advances as early as our second date, which made me feel uncomfortable and cheap, but I tried to look past it and made excuses for it (I know…). Finally on our fifth date (this was after I deleted the apps) he said something so revealing to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 04:28 PM
2

You literally know nothing and appear to understand nothing about FDS. Why do you have so much hate in your heart for women supporting other women? It seems like you are the one obsessed with them. I’ve come to realize that the men on this sub just have blind misogynistic hatred of women who dare to disrupt modern dating and instead ask to be treated with respect, rather than used as objects. Why are you so angry about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 03:58 PM
2

The Reason FDS Types Don’t Post “Physique”: We Would Be Afraid For Our Physical Safety. Seriously, 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 05:03 AM
4

I’m not going to post a picture of myself. The person specifically said they didn’t like my political views when they ended things. We had dated for a month and a half. Up until then they said they were fine with my being conservative, until I finally espoused a political opinion. But okay. I hope you have a good weekend, and things get better for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 10:31 PM
3

You’d be surprised how some men react when you tell them you don’t support a corporate income tax. Doesn’t matter how pretty you are, some draw the line at conservative libertarian 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 10:07 PM
6

Um, wow, okay. 1. No, I don’t prefer to date anyone who works crazy hours. I like to spend time with someone I’m dating. I used to work 80 hours a week myself and quit that life because there’s more to life than work, including spending time with loved ones. 2. You don’t know anything about me? Idk why you assume someone wouldn’t commit to me? I think you’re just purposely trying to be mean, as you have no data, and that’s unnecessary. I know it’s gloomy out but tomorrow’s a new day, relax. Trul…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 09:09 PM
2

I didn’t say I wouldn’t be able to find a partner.. just maybe not one with the same financial outcomes as me. I think this because of basic data. It’s not meant to be an insult against anyone else.. my mom was the “provider” in my family while my dad stayed at home—my mom was just more suited for work than my dad, she is smarter and more talented. My dad wasn’t suited either for staying at home and providing emotional support but that is a whole different problem.. I agree that sometimes both p…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 08:33 PM
5

I’m not sure I disagree with what you said but am also not sure how it directly relates to what I said. But yes I’ve dated a lot of very successful guys at tech companies — both the big ones and start ups — and many didn’t want kids so it was an instant no on my list. Personally I make enough money and have a high enough earning potential that I’d rather date an average software engineer who will work 9-5 and help around the house and build a life with me focused on friends and family than an ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 08:27 PM
5

I don’t personally have any ambition to be a stay at home mom (mostly because I realized at a young age the likelihood of meeting someone as talented, intelligent, and hard working as myself was pretty slim, so I was in the best position to set myself and my future children up for success finances wise, though if I found that unicorn I’d happy to be a stay at mom), but I think there’s tremendous value in children and communities being supported by women (or men) who don’t have traditional jobs b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 08:19 PM
12

As someone who also lives in Seattle, I have to disagree: it’s very expensive to live here and to provide everything kids need to flourish and be successful. Also my experience dating here is that a lot of men don’t want kids, and actively complain about how women around here do want kids and that some even want to be stay at home moms (the audacity) so maybe you should educate your own gender on the importance of parenthood and not lecture women on Reddit about how they’re too picky because the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 07:26 PM
1

I don’t have any standard for how much someone should make though? That’s not what I filter for. And trust me, I’ve dated the guy who was like that and had no time for me, even though I made all the time in the world for him and tried to make him happy—despite us being equivalently busy—so I’m well aware of how selfish guys can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:49 PM
4

I went to law school, so professional school, and a lot of people dated one another. Some got married. So I’m not sure what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:41 PM
1

Sure, because there are fewer men who make as much as money as I do who don’t. Water is wet. Idk what your point is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:39 PM
4

My therapist says the best way to meet people are through work or school, friends, or hobbies. It’s been helpful for me. Maybe do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:32 PM
2

My point wasn’t that I would only date men who had a certain income. My point was that the narrative that OP constructed me was false, i.e. a “provider man” would need to work long hours and could never be there for his wife. I know for a fact because I make a good living myself and still have a well-rounded life and would be there for another person. So men who claim they can’t do both are just lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:29 PM
157

My favorite is the guy who says his wife’s favorite meal was a hard one… and she had a tattoo of it. I truly believe the vast majority of men think of women as a pretty object for them to use, not as humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:20 PM
2

I disagree, all men should not be creepy. I would find it equally creepy if a man gawked at me in public or was sexually suggestive when hitting on me whether they were attractive to me or not. So I don’t understand your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:15 PM
6

Okay, sure, but then don’t agree with things like “women don’t understand what they’re asking.” We do. If you don’t want to do it, fine, be creepy, but don’t treat women like they’re stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:03 PM
7

This may come as a bit of a shocker to you but women make money and pay bills all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:02 PM
2

Lol, I don’t know how not wanting to be objectified and feel unsafe in public makes me a “wuss.”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:00 PM
3

Yes, why should men respect women?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:59 PM
6

So you like admit that (a) keeping ones house in order is manageable and possible and (b) most household management can be outsourced if you have the financial resources. So actually there would be very little that a man would need to “help” with he’s not capable of — so I guess I just don’t understand what your point was about the “Suzy homemaker” comment. Hmm.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:33 PM
1

Yes, they all are creepy. Staring at women in public, creepy. Being sexually suggestive with a woman you haven’t even dated, creepy. Complimenting women, might depend but most likely, creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:24 PM
4

We understand. And we don’t like any level of creepy behavior. Please don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:06 PM
2

No, you misunderstand. I don’t think men are clones of women. But some men spend time with their wife’s family and help her. I know men like this. So it is within the realm of male capabilities. Don’t set the bar so low for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:23 PM
1

So, you agree men are not?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:42 PM
12

Okay, girl I have had an “unrequited crush” on a friend before like you. Turned out it was not so unrequited later, leading to the biggest waste of 3 years of my life. I would love for you to never make the same mistakes as me. Ask yourself genuinely why you want to be set up with his friends: (1) to be with a bad substitute for a man you really desire? (2) to get closer to him? (3) to feel like you are closer to him? (4) to make him jealous? If any of these ring even a bit true, STOP talking to…
/r/askFDS10/06/21 06:14 PM
10

Can I ask you a question because I’m genuinely confused: is your house clean? Also, can I ask like what do you think motivates financially successful men to enter relationships? Is it because men think women can be their maids?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 05:59 PM
14

I am 30 and make 200k a year and work maybe 50 hours a week with a very high earning potential. I keep my house orderly and tidy. I help friends and family. If I was in a relationship I would make (and have made) time for the person and their family. I know so many women who are the same or more. I would expect any man who is a decent person would do the same even if he has a good job too. Idk I guess I just expect men are as capable and good hearted as women are? But that’s why I cut men off at…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 05:46 PM
20

Why is wanting to date a man who spends time with your family and helps you out of touch? Are you saying most men are incapable of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 05:35 PM
15

I used all the dating apps religiously for awhile (have deleted them now and have honestly been so much happier). It’s true men act differently depending on the app, but what I realized after awhile is all men use all the apps (or at least a few). So Bumble actually encourages men to be lazy (but it’s supposed to be the pro-female app? Don’t get me started on that.) I really think at the first sign a guy can’t plan you need to just block and delete. It will save you so much time and emotional en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:03 PM
8

It’s just gross and unnecessary. A high-value woman can meet men in real life who actually make sense for her life. OLD is just a trap. And the men treat you like objects they ordered through an app. It is essentially like you described and men treat you so inappropriately. I’m proud of you for realizing this girl!
/r/askFDS10/06/21 02:26 AM
1

A man that isn’t generous with his money won’t be generous with his heart. It is a very good vetting tool. Perhaps men shouldn’t go on dates with women they aren’t interested in. Honestly, why do you go on dates with women you’re not thrilled about?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 02:02 AM
1

I see, now I understand the disconnect. In my experience if a guy isn’t attracted to you or sees your inherent value from the get go, it’s never going to be a good relationship or go in a direction that will make you happy. Most women understand this, even if we learn it the hard way. So I (and lots of women) use whether they pay as a proxy for this, because it’s a good one, as you’ve already explained why. Hopefully now you understand why women don’t subscribe to your thesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 12:02 AM
1

Wait, so you actually admit that you’ll pay on a date if you like the woman more? By that, any women you split with should know that’s a sign not to go on a second date. In contrast, if you pay, a woman knows you like her. So why would women pay with you “on the first few dates.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 11:46 PM
2

Are you saying whether you would pay on a date or split the check on a date depends on how interesting you find the woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 11:31 PM
2

Whether a woman has that or not has nothing to do with whether she splits the check on dates or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 11:25 PM
2

What do you hope they can offer?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 11:07 PM
40

My LVM ex had a very pickme mother. His family was very wealthy so he spent lots of time with them because they took him to fancy restaurants and whatnot but he would always trash his mom. He told me how he thought she was lazy and didn’t understand hard work and also that she was fat. He didn’t respect her at all and once told me her value was that she made good food. Also that he called his mom fat after we had gone on a few dates ought to have been the biggest red flag of all time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:05 PM
2

Don’t date women then.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 10:58 PM
11

All men on OLD are bad. You do not need it. Go out and try to meet men in real life. Develop hobbies, volunteer, take a class, reconnect with old friends. There about a million other things you could do if you stopped using the apps. They are an incredible time suck and the reality is HVM do not use dating apps. So, you’re never going to meet one on there anyway. You’re just going to exhaust yourself for no reason. Why do you feel like you need to use them?
/r/askFDS09/06/21 08:55 PM
2

I don’t know where you got the idea that that’s all I have to offer. Where is that in what I said?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 08:35 PM
6

I still don’t advocate meeting people online. But I think it’s better actually to meet sooner. Part of the problem with meeting someone online is that actually we start to form an image of who they are before we even meet them. So rather than craft an accurate picture in our mind of their strengths and weaknesses, we have an idealized version of them. It’s harder to evaluate red flags then when you do meet because you might already really like the (idea of a) person. But I agree you should condu…
/r/askFDS09/06/21 08:21 PM
5

Well, I personally think you should delete OLD. I don’t think dating people online is a good idea. Also I read your other posts—is this the same guy that you found on Hinge and then messaged on Facebook? That is not FDS-approved behavior.
/r/askFDS09/06/21 07:37 PM
1

A first date is the start of all of your interactions. It is one of the very first filtering techniques for dating, which may lead to a relationship, which may lead to marriage. I don’t understand your logic that the first date is the date to go dutch when it’s the most important date. Personally I would never marry anyone who didn’t invite me to dinner on a first date and paid. I don’t date for fun — I’m interested in a life partner who I can have a family with and will provide for that family.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 07:14 PM
18

Break up with him. There’s literally no reason you need this in your life right now. Walk away and all of these problems will disappear—you will be amazed when you realize how much happier you are when this is not taking up space in your life. I don’t care how much you “love” this guy, with some space those feelings of love will go away. Seriously, just walk away.
/r/askFDS09/06/21 04:03 PM
–

You can have every relationship.. except a marriage. Some people still want those. Anyway it’s sort of irrelevant to the topic of this sub. You do you, hopefully it makes you happy. Doesn’t mean women should ever approach men lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 10:02 PM
84

Lol, a man asked me out a while ago on a Friday night and gave me three options: coffee, dinner, or take-out at his place. This was while I was still in my pickme OLD days so it was a first meeting with a stranger. Obviously, based on timing and the circumstances of meeting there was only ONE acceptable option out of those three but if you have to spell it out for men, they’ve already shown they aren’t worth it. So, I like you, blocked and deleted. Proud of you sis for standing up for yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:42 PM
–

You have a very sad and limited view of relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:30 PM
–

Marriage is more than a piece of paper. If you are going to combine finances and have kids with someone, then you need certain legal protections. Marriage also binds two people together. I would never live or share finances with someone I wasn’t married to—that would be foolish.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:22 PM
–

Marriage is not outdated. It is a lifelong commitment to partnership with someone. The point is that men go through the motions and lie. Again, that’s why you don’t approach men, because if you do, they are likely lead you on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:18 PM
2

It’s interesting to me though that the percentage of actual swipes leading to matches isn’t that different. I think you’re drawing the wrong conclusions from this data. It actually suggests that both genders are getting a similar amount of matches, especially as women probably wipe on far fewer profiles. So, I don’t know how this supports your theory of “male sexlessness.”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:04 PM
1

I guess I missed the memo because I don’t get “help” from any of those sources and know plenty of women who don’t.. not sure how anyone gets help from a “hookup.” Usually those drain you, not help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:34 PM
3

Lol what, no, women do not “need” men for protection or provisioning. That’s so absurd. See, e.g., all the women surviving on their own without men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 08:51 AM
2

No, again I wholly disagree. Your logic is flawed. You are assuming that because attractive women have choices where they can decline offers and accept offers among a population of men, i.e. because there are men who exist who the woman likes and doesn’t like who would take her, it must be true that in the population of men who the woman likes, there must be men who would take her and who wouldn’t take her. That is flawed. It simply isn’t true because if he wanted to, he would.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 04:47 AM
0

Well, women tend to be more attractive than men. So, we are more desired. Therefore, we can choose a vetting strategy of not pursuing men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:21 AM
-3

Wholly disagree — there absolutely, absolutely is a HUGE difference. Simply put, if he wanted to he would. I think OP’s grief with this is because the women men are afraid to approach are women are wholly interested. I’m not saying women should never / do never give any signals of interest—most men, if they really wanted to would. Believe me a lot of men have really wanted me and have not failed to shoot their shot, even if they are had a lifetime of relationship failure up until then.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 09:12 PM
1

Got it. No, I’ve been asked out in my life by a lot of men — some I was into and some I was not. But there have been guys I was really into who didn’t ask me out that I would have liked to date, but know it never works out to ask out men. Pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 07:44 PM
1

No I didn’t say that anywhere in my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 07:26 PM
5

So we should decline most men’s offers then too. That doesn’t translate into us asking men out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 07:14 PM
2

Yes, and has nothing to do with what you said about “dehumanizing.” You are entirely missing the point from a female perspective. Women can approach men and men can have zero romantic interest but agree to eat up the woman’s time and emotional energy, sometimes for quick sex, and sometimes for years, because it is convenient to the man as he is getting sex, companionship, an ego boost, etc. The woman on the other hand might believe the man is the one of her dreams and feel she is the luckiest wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 07:12 PM
4

There are often very legitimate reasons why women get primary custody, e.g. women are the primary caregivers. This doesn’t work perfectly all the time and could be better, so I will give you that but I don’t think that that is evidence that men are being systematically disadvantaged in our society overall. Women get shamed too... big time. We are told we are exaggerating, misremembering, were asking for it, vengeful, etc.... Police have to act immediately to separate victims of domestic violence…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 05:31 AM
3

They’re not reptilians.. they’re men. Don’t be so hard on your own kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 05:05 AM
4

How are men disadvantaged?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 05:03 AM
5

It’s funny because men invented capitalism. So women are slaves to a system men created? But women broke the social contract men created? Not sure I follow at all what you’re saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 05:02 AM
4

Naw I meant like men have always been taught to go full hedonism since the beginning of time. Women have been taught to fit into perfect molds and not to deviate. I’m not sure what makes you think women broke the social contract unless you mean women wanting to have an education, make their own money, and generally have financial and reproductive freedoms was breaking the social contract. Except I fail to see how wanting to be fully productive members of society is honoring hedonism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 04:59 AM
23

It’s weird because I tend to think the exact opposite—women have to fulfill all of the social contract whereas men are taught full hedonism. I’ve noticed a common theme with these recent threads “women have it so easy, men are being tortured”—they all seem to be written by men who have literally no clue what it’s like to be a woman and have never even seriously considered it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 03:54 PM
0

So the logic is, younger women who want to use you as an ATM = good, whereas older women who want to use you as an ATM = bad. In both cases the woman doesn’t really like you, they like you for your money. You do you man but wow like women you’re so hurt about aren’t even going to notice to care (they’re still going to have plenty of suitors) so this is a lot of emotional effort and strategy for basically zero return.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 03:45 PM
0

Got it. Now I remember why I am a libertarian and don’t support the modern welfare state! Lol
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 11:57 PM
0

We bill our time in my industry so if you slack off, you get fired and/or don’t make any money but nice try.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 11:51 PM
2

Got it. I usually identify men who went to college as the adult-children so I think that’s why I was confused. Most women I know who are educated studied hard and make really good money, so if they had any debt they’ve paid it off. A lot of men I know who are educated partied in a frat the whole time and didn’t really learn anything. The men I met in law school were often the worst offenders of “adult-children” syndrome because they wasted undergrad but didn’t have a job lined up so were using t…
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 11:07 PM
0

I’m not trying to shame you. I am really sorry you’ve had such rough experiences. I hope you find happiness.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 11:01 PM
-5

I can tell you are angry. Your comment history is especially sad. You want a woman who has “family values” but your own desire is to use women for sex and never get married. Women who want to be stay at home moms want to get married, ASAP, and start having babies. If you want what you say you do, maybe consider some therapy for your anger. I wish you best of luck — it’s tough to see someone so young so bitter already.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:54 PM
-2

I can understand why a woman who actually would talk to you would be much more suitable as a wife than a woman who didn’t. I’m sorry you’ve experienced so much anger resulting from women.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:43 PM
1

I am happy for you!
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:39 PM
1

I can see there’s no point in discussing further with you because you only see women as sexual beings. We are not fully fledged humans like men are to you.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:33 PM
-2

I don’t understand your comment.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:31 PM
2

You’re missing the point. I could care less if certain men love women for having advanced degrees or not. Love whoever you want. But please for the love of god stop telling young women don’t go to school because all you are is your body.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:29 PM
-3

Men spew this narrative because they want to discourage women from being independent and achieving success. Men are upset that women work hard and are raising the standard for how hard everyone needs to work to be successful. The implicit problem with OP’s message is he’s trying to tell women: don’t go to school, all you are worth is your body anyway. I’m asking men, please stop. I hope you stop too.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:26 PM
0

It’s just bizarre men think women care so much about what men think of them. I graduated from an elite law school and now earn in the top 1% of my age bracket. I pursued education so I could buy my own home and whatever else I wanted. I never thought “will a man like me for my achieved wealth and status?” Lol it’s just so weird that the person who posted thinks that women care. Date whomever you want lol.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 10:21 PM
-4

Luckily women don’t become educated for men. We become educated because we want to be. It’s for ourself. I think that’s what’s actually threatening to men—a woman who has her own internal narrative, goals, and ambitions.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 09:53 PM
3

Even if those situations are true, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t older men who abuse younger women. They’re usually men who are very controlling and see younger women as more naive and easy to abuse. The situations you’re describing have nothing to do with those situations. So what exactly is your point lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 07:42 PM
10

Yeah like I feel like this guy already hit his head into a wall. But um none of this is accurate — reality is women are killing it over men so these women he’s bitter about will be super hot and rich at 30 and they will still not want him lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:18 PM
22

This is a really good strategy. Not just because 99% of men won’t be able to but because you can learn their excuses for why they don’t. They’ll likely say something like “to be fair, women haven’t been that prominent all through history” (a lie, but also women have been kicking ass the last 100 years, he can think of someone). But better yet they might say women role models / media content, etc. only cater to other women or have nothing for them. That’s how you know they are really lv. Then let…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:48 AM
28

It is so true. I have always found it difficult to understand what men truly enjoy about porn. Every time I have watched it it depresses me because it’s obviously fake and devoid of human emotion. But men still get off by it. It goes to show how lacking they are when they are stunted by porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:43 AM
3

He literally forgets she had an abortion but is not a “bad man.” The mental gymnastics some women do because we are trained to be so empathetic and to put men’s needs first always is so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:38 AM
5

Yes, preach. It’s absolutely scary how society shames us into believing if we believe sex is special and intimate we are somehow unenlightened and “traditional.” Like wth because we place a high value on sex and believe it should be healthy and not rooted in disturbing male fantasies, we are somehow backward. What’s backward is a society that treats women like objects and sex so impersonally — like we are in caveman days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:28 AM
21

Yikes, the mindset of this man is just so terrifying. He literally thought, I need to find myself a nice Catholic girl believing she’ll probably be very traditional and dote on him while planning to CHEAT on his long distance girlfriend (who obviously has no idea). Horrific.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:25 AM
15

I have often wondered how or why incels blame some for a culture that really seems created by their “Chads.” Like they blame women for craving only Chad ignoring the fact that LVM Chad’s lie to women and string them along. But you are right, they think they should be entitled to do the same. They’re mad that they don’t similarly have access to abusing women. It’s loathsome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:22 AM
16

What app is this? Also it’s not going to work because of distance but he’s open to someone anywhere in the US? Also why the heck hasn’t he just broken up with her? He can’t work up the nerve? Men are horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:10 AM
20

Preach sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:05 AM
44

He is 41 — this is really unacceptable. At 36 I have no doubt you look WAY better than him as men don’t age well and he should be like thanking his lucky stars you will go on a date with him. By 41 he should be a perfect gentleman. The fact he suggested something 40 minutes away is weird girl. I think you should just block this guy and delete. You don’t even know him — it’s been a week. Don’t idealize his personality. Could just be an act and now you’re already seeing the mask slip.
/r/askFDS03/06/21 06:48 AM
10

That must have made him so mad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:07 AM
18

It forever baffles me that Bumble was made by a woman. It is the least pro woman app. I explained to a man I was dating once why I thought it was the worst app for women. I explained guys swipe right on everyone and if you talk to a guy on there it shows a lot of interest so guys will always engage because ultimately they think it’s a chance at sex, whether they like you or not. And he just looked at me baffled and said some men were like that maybe, implying not all men obv. But like literally …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:06 AM
0

Lol is that a joke?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:02 AM
3

I want to add too that being on the apps is just inviting a bit of male depravity into your life every day that over time weakens and erodes your standards. I’m ashamed to say I actively used tinder and SO many men said the creepiest things to me. One man asked me what I was looking for once and I told him (I was experimenting with different replies) that I was looking for the love of my life. He replied he was looking for a “fwb.” I responded thats quite different from my goal and he still had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:42 AM
14

What in the world did I just read.. horrific.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:36 AM
22

Thanks! Also I found out in the context of asking him about his porn habits. I asked if he watched porn and he was like “not since we’ve been talking I’ve been just using your photos.” So to him my photos were the equivalent of porn. It’s even grosser now that I reflect on it more. He definitely meant it as a compliment though, as he told me a different time he hadn’t thought of other women since we met, as I was the “complete package.” Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:13 PM
33

I deleted all my dating apps this morning. It was really hard because I’m at an age where I feel a lot of pressure to “tie someone down.” But I hated being on the apps — it made me feel like a piece of meat. I received so many gross and demeaning messages from guys who really didn’t deserve any access to me. Also it is 100% true about them using your photos to masturbate. I entertained the idea of being in a relationship with a very LVM earlier this year who told me had been jacking off to my ph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:39 PM
3

This is very true. Friends are a good proxy too. I usually give ruthless but heartfelt advice to my friends, but then struggle so much to follow it myself. I find myself making excuses even though I would tell my friends never to. So much more so would I be ruthless about giving advice to a younger woman. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 06:33 AM
15

I think honestly this is why men prefer it. They know it’s easier because they don’t have to make eye contact. Every time I’ve ever seen a man justify the walk date it is always so there is “new scenery” to have something to talk about and prevent awkwardness on a first date. How about instead you ask the woman questions about herself... but low-effort men are not interested in you as a person, they’re interested in what you can give them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:18 PM
34

I watched a really sad TikTok where the woman tried to justify coffee and park dates as being just as good dinner dates because the man would be seen in public with her. 1. That would happen at dinner too (and probably more likely since restaurants are much more crowded than parks). 2. That is a really sad standard. The man should be proud to be seen in public with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:45 PM
65

Wow, I really needed this. Thanks for sharing. Trying to get over a guy who I idealized a relationship with because we were such good “friends” first. Thinking about Jim and Pam hurt because that’s what I so desperately wanted. But actually they really sucked as a couple. As women we are made to feel so bad if we want things too—the only thing we are supposed to want is the man. Anything more and we can’t be a good, devoted, supportive partner, etc. That’s ultimately what my NV ex wanted too. Si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:44 AM
24

Girl, men and women cannot be friends. Men will be your friend because they think they can get something from you. Once they can’t, they may interact with you, occasionally feign interest or sympathy for your problems, even listen to you cry a few times—maybe—but they don’t consider you their friend. You after all are just a woman and either you’re good for sex, you’re on standby for sex, or you have been discarded and are no longer good for sex (but may still be interesting or funny or occasion…
/r/askFDS27/05/21 03:40 AM
46

Yeah, this guy sucks and is a selfish jerk. I know you stress in your post you don’t care, and seem to be putting on a brave face, but I’m sure you have some genuine feelings for him too (and that’s okay, and doesn’t make you weak, feelings for someone you have had or are having sex with is normal - what’s not normal is our disturbed hookup culture) and it’s just not healthy to engage with someone just as a “friend” that you even a little bit want more with. You have to rip off the bandaid and b…
/r/askFDS27/05/21 03:03 AM
3

Hmm you might be right honestly! He was a software engineer and had some really intense hobbies. He also had almost no dating experience (he claimed) despite being 30 which is a bit odd. I live in a city saturated with techies and they are all varying levels of weird - it’s awful.
/r/askFDS26/05/21 09:41 PM
3

I know - it was bonkers. I think because he sees it on TV he assumes everyone is on board with just being used for sex with someone having sex with tons of other people? And that’s the only way dating works? He assumed it was “normal.” Our culture is so effed.
/r/askFDS26/05/21 09:31 PM
83

Honestly, all of it is amazingly ridiculous because literally all of those things could be said truly about men. Men only love women for their looks and subservience. They also only love you for how you can please them sexually and how much you can care for them, prop them up, provide free therapy while never getting your needs met in turn. Women are the true romantics - we are not running around promoting a culture on the apps where it’s okay to use women’s bodies cavalierly (but heaven forbid …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:09 AM
9

Thanks - this hurts but is so true. I remember when I was 22 I dated a guy I met on okc. After going on six months I saw how he saved my name in his phone - it was still “[my first name] Okc.” I was just like wtf why isn’t my actual name saved in your phone? He was a terrible human.
/r/askFDS25/05/21 07:20 PM
281

It’s so true though.. I have been going on tons of dates and some of my female friends are shocked I’m not sleeping with anyone. But I’m not purposely withholding sex from anyone as some kind of game.. I don’t want to have sex with a stranger because (a) it won’t feel any good, let’s be real, and (b) it will create artificial feelings of attachment for someone who hasn’t proven themselves trustworthy for that. When I tell female friends the former some suggest I’m just having sex with the wrong …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:26 PM
71

Thanks. I gathered the courage to just ask one guy I had a date planned with what “casual” meant to him. He replied that it was “not talking every day, sex after two dates, and no exclusivity.” 🤮 I said thanks and we should probably not meet. He sent me paragraphs back that that was standard dating procedure he’d learned from TV, he didn’t understand what he said that was wrong, and then we shouldn’t meet because it was too much work to get something organized but he hoped I allowed myself to go…
/r/askFDS25/05/21 03:50 PM
13

I recently dated a man who told me he was looking for a “partnership.” Partnership to him meant, for example, he couldn’t be bothered to plan out a complete first date because he needed input as to what I wanted to do because that’s partnership. Don’t buy into their “partnership” game — that’s just an excuse for them to be lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:02 PM
2

So why don’t more men complain they don’t get any benefit out of sex too?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 07:38 PM
33

Someone said that to me on a different sub today — that if women just communicate, men can get them off. Unsurprisingly he was a man. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:03 AM
5

Yeah I was talking about more of like a real emotional connection, like a deep emotional bond rooted in trust and intimacy. Not something shallow and superficial and fleeting. I’m guessing you’re not a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:13 PM
1

I am a woman who does very well for myself (top 1% of earners in my age bracket). I am motivated by a desire to pay my bills. I like nice things and to live in a nice home and to go on nice trips. All requires money. In my early 20s I couldn’t afford these things, so I bettered myself and focused on my career so I could. Really super simple. Have never thought once whether it would make me more attractive to a man and haven’t cared.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:58 PM
2

I’ve only had casual sex with attractive, masculine men and they were especially terrible at foreplay. Most simply did not care if I got off. That’s why I quit casual sex—zero benefit. Sex in my opinion is only good with someone who truly loves you and wants you to be happy. So I disagree that sex categorically is for mutual benefit if so many men don’t treat it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:55 PM
8

I don’t purport to speak for all women but the premise of this sub was why do “plenty” of women think sex is beneficial only for a man and not both. And by and large, that’s why.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:25 PM
9

Trust me, most men are bad no matter how much you communicate. I don’t blame men fully per se (though many men truly have no skills) as it’s difficult for women to get into the headspace of sex and be comfortable. That’s how we are hardwired biologically—to enjoy sex when we have an emotional connection and there is trust. Without that, sex is usually just for the benefit of the man. For some reason this makes men mad? Not really sure why.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:16 PM
3

Yes, it absolutely should. The problem is most men are selfish and terrible lovers and use sex purely for their own benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:02 PM
69

You didn’t mention the part where you are dumping him now because he’s a complete and total manipulative psycho.
/r/askFDS21/05/21 06:23 PM
2

I am lady lawyer and tried dating an electrician for awhile but found we had nothing in common. He liked drinking beer and watching football and told me he hadn’t read a book since middle school and didn’t know who major political figures were. I like wine and literature and art and economics and politics. Since then I’ve mostly stuck to dating other professionals, not for any class reasons, but because I simply find I have more in common with them than someone who doesn’t use their mind for wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 11:18 PM
12

I’m confused why you said he doesn’t initiate dates when he invited you to dinner and to a museum? I definitely think there are some cultural differences here. Personally I don’t think a group outing counts as a date. Texting too much early in a relationship can seem clingy so people try to avoid it even if they are excited (even guys). Meeting once a week is very normal. Keeping your dating apps up until you’re exclusive is also very normal. Nothing you described seems totally out of the ordina…
/r/askFDS20/05/21 09:55 PM
82

Consider him breaking things off as an incredible gift and never speak to him again. You do not need this insane drama in your life.
/r/askFDS13/05/21 07:57 PM
7

Boys your age are honestly really dumb and lack maturity so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Eventually when they grow up a bit and realize they might be forever alone, they will be all over you, but they will still be dumb and not worth your time. Focus on being amazing and doing what you want and makes you happy. A guy is never going to make you happy or give you whatever you feel like deep down you are lacking on your own. Only you can. The earlier you realize this, the better your life wi…
/r/askFDS13/05/21 07:54 PM
156

You need to take a step back and realize you have nothing to be afraid of. Who cares if he “loses interest”? Girl, you are 18. If this guy is a loser, there are an infinite more to meet. Bottom line, it’s irrelevant what he thinks. Stop giving him so much power over how you feel!!
/r/askFDS13/05/21 06:53 AM
1

How do you not feel guilty about deleting and blocking? How much time do you have to spend before you shouldn’t do that and should feel guilty? I have the hardest time telling guys after dates that sorry, I just don’t like you enough to ever see you again. But I feel rotten ghosting people.
/r/askFDS12/05/21 11:02 PM
1

There are so many things wrong with your post lol. First, you’re assuming HVW = all the superficial things men think are important to being a HVM. Men are obsessed with status and wealth and believe that’s what makes them attractive to women. It’s not, lol. Women actually are very much attracted to the same qualities that you described—attractive, masculine, kind, a good father, doesn’t cheat, and is just a good and loyal person. That is a HVM and those qualities are rare. Very, very few men act…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 07:26 PM
9

Omg it’s so true — how picky a man comes off in his profile is always inversely correlated with attractiveness. It’s always the men who are overweight, have no hair, a poorly groomed beard, gross mirror pics, and are very ugly that are like “no women looking for a free meal or gold diggers” - like lol, okay, I’m sure I make way more money than you so you have no gold to dig.
/r/askFDS10/05/21 07:01 PM
44

Thanks - I’m not OP but this is helpful insight. I too like OP am drawn magnetically to the wrong types but I also don’t get excited about most things. I scored two of my dream jobs this year (one is for only one year in the future and my current job is fully onboard) and barely care, despite spending years working up to them. But this guy I met a week ago who I think might be a narcissist and I’m trying my best to ignore I can’t stop thinking about.. idk what’s wrong with me!!
/r/askFDS07/05/21 10:57 PM
43

I don’t have any good advice for you unfortunately but relate entirely. I have been going on dates with lots of guys recently and realize I am somehow very much attracted to guys who are narcissistic but totally turned off by guys who are normal and stable. As much as I want a normal and stable guy, I can’t find myself attracted to them because I don’t feel that magnetic pull to them. But narcissists, totally different story, I am super into them and drawn to them. It sucks honestly.
/r/askFDS07/05/21 10:55 PM
12

I am 30 so two years older than you and I just go for asking someone what they are looking for on the apps. I would suggest you do the same — most guys that I talk to say they are looking for a relationship and if they are not, then you didn’t waste your time. (Obv just because they say that doesn’t mean they are HV but it’s a start.). Once I get that basic question sorted out and make sure they check my boxes for career and attractiveness, I would rather meet in person ASAP. I try to schedule d…
/r/askFDS07/05/21 04:30 AM
12

This is so true and why I absolutely hate hate normalizing sleeping around or if you’re prudish about sex or think “casual sex” is a literal oxymoron, that somehow you’re internalizing misogyny against yourself or buying into the patriarchy. Sex quite literally releases hormones that attach us to other humans. In no way is it ever casual and teaching young women that it is, ignoring their very biology, is just setting women up to be hurt and used by men. We should be allowed to demand defining a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:29 PM
15

You’ve only been dating this guy for a week and you’re this invested? Girl, no. The rhythm of the relationship isn’t normal but for the opposite reasons that you think. You shouldn’t be meeting someone more than once a week so early on and you definitely shouldn’t agree to be exclusive.
/r/askFDS04/05/21 09:11 PM
2

A few things: 1. You really should not be relying on your boyfriend for help with your homework. Find a tutor or study buddies or go to office hours. Keep your professional life and relationship separate. You don’t need him and can figure this out on your own. You’ll respect yourself more and you may find that your relationship improves too (if it doesn’t, who cares, you’ll be way better off career-wise for it - your boyfriend won’t be there when you start a full-time job in your field). 2. If y…
/r/askFDS03/05/21 06:01 PM
7

You should never be making an effort with men early on before he’s ever even asked you on a date. Men should make the effort, period. Trust me, if he wanted to, he would. Also is this communication all via text? Saying sweet lines is easy. For all you know he’s just repeating things he watched in a movie. It’s not too much to want to love and be loved back, but the man has to initiate or you’re going to get hurt. Learn and internalize this now while you’re young rather than later.
/r/askFDS03/05/21 05:53 PM
17

Ew no, do not accept. This is a second date.. if he was really into you he would come up with something better than coffee. PhD students usually get paid. He has money to date - don’t give him excuses for bad behavior.
/r/askFDS03/05/21 05:45 PM
4

How long ago did you start dating? Once a week meeting seems pretty normal. It’s for the best honestly he’s not into or has an Instagram - it’s a generalization but for the most part guys usually only have one in my experience to (1) follow IG models, gross, or (2) use it to keep tabs on an ex, also gross. I just turned 30 and am trying to navigate dating in your 30s and it’s a little weird but honestly not a ton different than dating when I was younger. I get that you want a relationship to pro…
/r/askFDS29/04/21 09:48 PM
5

That’s a fair point between “training” and holding ideas independently. I’m trying to figure out the difference—it is hard, I am so used to training men lol. Not like it ever worked out for me in the past..
/r/askFDS29/04/21 05:57 PM
58

Yeah based on the way you said I figured you were relatively young. The fact that you’re 22 doesn’t entitle anyone anymore access to your body than when you were 18 or 16 or whenever. It’s your body and someone who likes you for you would respect that and wait. The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve come to realize this but you don’t have to wait until you’re my age to respect yourself. Wherever it was going with this guy isn’t what you want!
/r/askFDS28/04/21 10:02 PM
142

How old are you? I’m 30 and wouldn’t sleep with someone after three dates and my friends would agree, yikes. You need better friends.
/r/askFDS28/04/21 09:39 PM
57

Lol wtf what are your friends and families reasons for staying with this guy? Sounds like the only reason you were with him was because you were inexperienced.. now you have experienced true horror and will never repeat.
/r/askFDS27/04/21 10:08 PM
1

He’s perfect but there are red flags? Those are inconsistent statements. Do not idealize people you don’t know. After two months he’s still pretty much a stranger that you don’t know that well and he already is showing you his bad side. Dump him.
/r/askFDS26/04/21 12:42 AM
18

Telling you he doesn’t want to “fuck raw” unless you are exclusive on a first date is really really gross and means he would be open to sleeping with you even if you weren’t exclusive. So that means he is still actively seeing other people and may sleep with them. Is this what you really want? It sounds to me like you want someone to be your boyfriend but you’re not ready to call someone that yet. And that’s totally fine and normal if you’re not ready! But do you really want to fall for someone …
/r/askFDS25/04/21 09:42 PM
26

He is absolutely lovebombing and future faking you. He doesn’t even know you (and you don’t know him.). Complimenting you excessively so early when he has no real bases for this (other than your physical appearance) is absolutely lovebombing. Telling you about what he likes to do in relationships and hinting at kids is absolutely future faking. Also you have no idea how he actually felt about the other girls he went on dates with - perhaps he didn’t identify them as easy of targets and that’s wh…
/r/askFDS25/04/21 09:20 PM
4

Well, first, you’re not going to be alone forever. You’re very young. It sounds like you want to spend some time working on yourself and getting mentally healthy, and that’s great! Don’t treat it as something to “reconcile,” treat it as an awesome journey to being the best you. Find a great therapist to talk to about your fears and worries and anxieties. You have lots and lots of time to meet someone great and have a family though. There’s no reason to think you’re going to be “alone forever.”
/r/askFDS01/04/21 12:50 AM
19

YES. I dated a guy once who had me write down every guy I had every done anything sexual with after we had known each other a week or so and then he proceeded to abuse me with this information for months. He told me he just needed to “get it out of the way” for peace of mind so he could enjoy being with me. Spoiler, that and nothing else was never enough. That relationship ended with a protection order. I can’t believe looking back how dumb I was to fall for that garbage.
/r/askFDS01/04/21 12:28 AM
14

They should be leading the conversation and trying to impress you. You should just be sweet, happy, and enthusiastic in your replies but you shouldn’t be carrying it. There are tons of guys on online dating. If you’re going to use the apps then it’s just a numbers game to weed guys out until you find one that’s going to see your worth and actively pursue you. Good luck.
/r/askFDS28/03/21 08:29 PM
2

When I was your age, I am 29 about to turn 30, I felt the same way about guys my age versus guys that were 30. I found guys my age to be impossibly immature, time wasters, unable or unwilling to provide for me things I wanted — romantic dates, going on vacations together, etc. I thought 30 year old guys were so much more attractive because they could provide these things. Now that I’m almost 30 and am dating again and for the most part sticking to guys within 1-2 years (older, will never again m…
/r/askFDS27/03/21 04:38 PM
0

No sadly this was a real dilemma I had this morning.. should I just block and move on or keep engaging because even though I’m 29 and have a law degree I’m obviously still clueless about boundaries.. I am grateful for everyone’s replies.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 06:33 AM
3

Thanks for your reply. I realize now his explanation was really manipulative—like he just wanted to know because it was so important to him to perform a sex act a lot of guys are squeamish about, therefore that somehow sanitized how creepy his question was. I think that’s partly why it was hard for me to realize it was such a red flag. Had he just asked for a pic I would have instantly been grossed out and not continued, but he tried to frame it as he really wanted to go down on his future wife …
/r/askFDS23/02/21 06:31 AM
1

Thanks. This answer helps a lot. I knew it didn’t feel right but was struggling to really understand why. He even said after in a follow-up text that he hoped I would trust him with this information someday, as he was really attracted to me by my photos. I like to think I’m pretty conventionally attractive so that’s usually enough for most guys.. it just felt so creepy and weird to even care about what my vagina looked like (like if everything else about me was perfect but it looked a little off…
/r/askFDS23/02/21 06:28 AM
0

Sadly this is not a troll. Like I said I’m really trying to shake my pickme ways but after growing up with a severely narcissistic father and spending nearly all my 20s in a series of bad relationships just not to be alone, I really don’t have a good sense of boundaries with men..
/r/askFDS23/02/21 06:25 AM
-1

I guess I actually said this - that I didn’t know how to even respond because I don’t exactly spend time examining my own vagina. I don’t even know what it looks like really and even if I did I could only describe it in vague terms that would describe any vagina.. I even said I wasn’t in a good position to answer and he cluelessly asked “odd question but why are you not in a good position to describe it.” Like, for real? After reading everyone’s comments I shudder now thinking about it. Thanks f…
/r/askFDS23/02/21 06:24 AM
354

He probably wouldn’t do it his friends either. That’s why it’s so insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:36 PM
7

Honestly, I’ve never understood the idea that men have that women are just looking for a “free meal” on dinner dates. If I didn’t like a guy I was on a date with, it would take all joy out of eating the food. Even on a date with a guy I did like, it’s so ingrained in us to act dainty while eating that it’s impossible to enjoy food like that. Men are such ridiculous but also fragile creatures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter