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Fatt3stAveng3r Archive

View 15 posts and 1,355 comments by Fatt3stAveng3r on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1521

GREEN FLAG 🟢Fatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:06 PM
309

MALE DEPRAVITYFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:07 PM
257

WHOLESOME CONTENTFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:09 PM
225

NAH, SISFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 04:55 PM
178

RANTFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:56 PM
125

MALE DEPRAVITYFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:32 AM
111

DISCUSSIONFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:02 PM
109

POP CULTURE PICKMEFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:40 PM
100

RANTFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:28 PM
75

LEVEL UPFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 01:06 PM
43

LEVEL UPFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 07:46 PM
25

STRATEGYFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 05:57 PM
21

MALE DEPRAVITYFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 10:50 PM
19

SEEKING ADVICEFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 09:52 PM
19

SEEKING ADVICEFatt3stAveng3r/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:50 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,355 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
107

Yeah, they're a damn scam lol. I want all of them, too. Attention, affection, affirmation, quality time and presents. A real man won't just do one or two and call it a job well done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:55 PM
106

Well that explains a lot lmao I wish they would just travel away from us. We don't seek THEM out; they should show the same courtesy. I know, I just laughed too. What a concept.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 11:46 AM
98

What'd I miss??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 11:10 AM
9

This sounds like my man. I love having someone who truly cares about me around. I'm glad you have one too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 11:00 AM
151

Frankly, this is disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:45 PM
2

The sub says no. You should read the handbook, it has a lot of interesting info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:40 PM
12

It's prostitution by another name and the sub does not support sex work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 08:28 PM
25

What??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:01 PM
3

Absolutely not. That's childish and honestly just says that you want to make contact with him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:24 PM
10

I dated a slew of terrible boys in my early 20's and yeah. It's absurd the little tests and questions I had to do for "vetting" because the bar is on the fucking floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:10 PM
96

Mine did the same thing :) it's how you know they're trying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 04:54 PM
615

At some point when you start dating, a way to vet a man is to ask him to buy you tampons or pads if he asks you what you want from the store or something. A man who goes "eww" or "what the fuck" is not someone you should invest any time into. My reproductive system isn't an amusement park and its maintenance isn't gross or a burden. Well, I mean I have endometriosis so it IS a burden to ME but nobody else gets to whine about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 04:17 PM
194

He had me at hoop skirts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:18 PM
138

I'm actually in the process of research into how to start my own business (real business, not MLM lol). I'm done with toxic work environments; done with incompetent male managers; done with petty drama between women and even pettier drama between men. It's taken me way too long to woman up and do it on my own but this sub is inspiring me to be better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 10:42 AM
1

Funny video, and...that dude looks like my ex lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 04:03 PM
243

I feel like this is a question that HVM would not ask. To me, this is a red flag type question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 10:54 AM
15

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:34 PM
1

That's just sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 06:34 PM
8

I was a total mess. I just feel so so blessed that I got it caught before it escalated into anything worse. My gyno told me that if I had let it wait another few years, it would have been cancer. I'm still considering having a hysterectomy, but with the clear margins from the LEEP I don't know if it's medically necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 09:40 PM
13

It was 4 years prior because, well, pandemic last year and priority was migraines. I let my current sex partner (fiance) and a previous partner know my HPV status when I found out. Previous one is where I think I got it from, honestly, because when i told him he said another of his ALSO had HPV and had to have a LEEP done but he didn't think it was a big deal. I coulda killed the man. Glad he's 1100 miles away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 08:05 PM
18

It didn't keep me from getting the HPV 35 strain. I got the vaccine that protected you from 16 and 18 when I was still in high school. :/ They don't protect against all HPV types. ETA: YES, get the vaccines ladies! I'm just saying even if you do get the vaccines there are so many strains that you can get that you can't keep your guard down. Always use protection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 06:45 PM
26

I just had my LEEP/cone biopsy done about two weeks ago. I had AIS/HSIL/CIN 3 but it was all in the chunks they took out of me and my margins were clear. It was seriously one of the most stressful months of my life. 6/1 I go for pap, 6/10 I get told I need the LEEP, 6/17 I have the LEEP, and 7/1 I'm told I'm good. Fucking whirlwind. Never had an abnormal pap before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 04:52 PM
113

The bigger issue is that there's no way to test men for the worse STD's such as HPV. Always be careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 03:17 PM
39

Hope you blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 09:05 AM
219

Yes, it is indeed an admission of guilt. When someone tells you they're bad news, listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 11:15 AM
22

Hard agree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:31 PM
28

Haha I am glad you liked it 😂 it's a funny saying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:22 PM
42

Yes exactly, I'm sorry I'm not explaining well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:17 PM
87

🤣 basically don't let the door catch you on your butt crack. It's a colloquialism from the US south.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:10 PM
247

We really DON'T want them. Like, good. I'm glad you aren't interested in me. Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 06:17 PM
79

I don't know the size of the flag, but cats are wonderful and the man who hate them aren't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:12 PM
17

Men ALWAYS move on fast. They don't take time to think about themselves and improve themselves, because their penises will explode or something if they don't get laid. Don't concern yourself. Block him on insta, stop snooping, and work on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:39 PM
67

Amanda Bynes makes me so sad. She *might* just be bipolar and have been crashing hard when she fell from fame...or maybe she was sexually abused, assaulted and gaslit into insanity and medicated to a dull state so she would stop fighting back. IDK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 10:46 AM
27

I just had it done as well. It freaks you the fuck out too - least it did with me bc they referred me to an oncologist. I still don't know what the prognosis is. They detected carcinoma in situ from the pap and just went straight to the LEEP/biopsy instead of just doing a biopsy to determine if it had turned into cancer or not and I won't know if it turned into cancer till July 1st. FUN RIGHT!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:32 PM
66

In my experience it is nigh impossible to find a good man at a bar. The ones at the bar often tend to be alcoholics, and most other men won't go to the bar alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:06 PM
15

I relate to this so much. My father is LVM in a big way, and I've had to pay the price. I come from a long line of pickme's on my mom's side of the family, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:13 PM
18

I will never get over the nest lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:04 PM
21

It's universal with LV people. They can't let high school go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:10 AM
87

I would tell myself not to bother dating at all because not a single person was worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:59 PM
7

He didn't reschedule. I would just delete the number and stop texting. It's a dead end. That doesn't mean anything bad about you or that you're the problem. It just means he isn't willing to invest time into you, so don't invest time or thought into him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 07:42 PM
30

Yeah what???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:47 PM
16

"BuT tHeY'rE ClEaN! I'm clean when I use them, so they're clean forever!" a scrote, somewhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:49 AM
38

I had a guy try to tell me that dirty penises don't give women UTI's. It's the vagina-haver that gets them because SHE is dirty. What's more likely: that a dick on a body encased in fecal matter is dirty, or a woman who regularly bathes and rids herself of fecal matter is dirty? I'm convinced that a majority of UTI's are sex based FROM THE PENIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:46 AM
8

That's disgusting. I'm sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:29 PM
1

Lord add a trigger warning next time please lol I can't believe this is something anyone meant sincerely. I know it is, but I just don't want it to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:23 AM
157

I've seen young women also sporting the "you're just jealous" line to people my age and older. It's honestly sad when it comes from fellow women. I don't even feel satisfaction knowing they'll change their minds after living it the hard way. I don't want them to go through what I did. Nobody should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:47 PM
53

I'm proud of you <3 live your dreams
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:28 PM
32

This is true goals. While we as outsiders don't know what goes on behind closed doors, this looks from the outside like a good and healthy relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:45 PM
167

And also: she was 13 years younger And also: he was a police officer There's a huge fucking reason we don't advise for women to gave age gap relationships. I, personally, advise against dating LEO's. They're armed, dangerous, and the boy's club lifestyle lets DV slide every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:08 PM
39

She doesn't even look happy. Geeze.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 06:00 PM
17

He looks like the kind of guy I had a crush on in high school, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:36 AM
9

I wish I could do this AND I wish there was a migraine simulator, too. I wish people (men, mostly) could understand the pain I go through constantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:12 PM
21

"I here ya" - - this would be the last message he sent me. That's my picky standard, so sue me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:52 PM
223

I found earrings once at an ex's house and he kept swearing they had to be mine until I yelled "I DON'T HAVE PIERCED EARS", because I don't. Then he said they must be his mom's. Lmao. Anyways, yes, do this. If he's cheating/seeing other women you'll either find out like this OR bonus: they find them, and they end things with him too. So he's out two women for the price of a pair of "good" earrings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:46 PM
12

Jordan Peterson for me because he's seen the most as an intellectual who "might have a point". Rogan is just a dude with an opinion. I don't know who Portnoy is thankfully lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:34 PM
54

Don't threaten me with a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:01 AM
118

I also just wanted to comment on a strategy that the cops used that we should all be familiar with. "Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to do anything to get the job done and help other women?" We want to prove ourselves. Hell yes, I have what it takes. This could be the start of a great career. I'm a tough cop. I have nerves of steel. I'm more than just a pretty face. I can do real police work. No honey. It's manipulation. It's like those men who write "challenges" on their online datin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:50 PM
68

Absolutely. This is just further proof (if we needed it) that cops are fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:12 PM
11

They don't want to believe it. It's far easier to dismiss us and "other" us than deal with the reality that they aren't up to the job of being our partner. Honestly though - they might whine about it here on reddit or online dating, but if we find a partner in the real world they totally get it, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:34 PM
25

For real. Money can coat the gears and make the ride easier, but it isn't a goal. It's a byproduct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:00 PM
52

Seriously. Most of them have jobs that are well below middle class income and they call us "gold diggers". Sorry, no, I really DON'T want a GameStop assistant manager's income, believe it or not. That don't impress me much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:28 AM
11

Yikes on both ends. I know they probably thought it was funny, but this really isn't. It's just sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:20 AM
16

Thank you for putting a filter over this lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:57 PM
22

Y is he not an ex yet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:53 PM
2

None of these guys have their dicks out and the comments - while thirsty, granted - are tame. What is WRONG with giggling over a hot guy? Do you remember doing that in middle school? Talking about your crushes with your best friend? They take that joy and fun away from us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:40 PM
3

I cackled. You lucky woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:32 PM
6

...this guy looks like my fiance. It's SPOOKY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:49 PM
60

Yikes, honey. Wouldn't be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:32 PM
49

I see a lot of criticism about paying for first dates. "sHe CaN pAy HeR oWn WaY". Yes, dumbass, I certainly can. Someone saying "you mean something to me. I see you, let me treat you!" - - that is SO hot! Idk about y'all but I make good money and treat myself to things all the time. Why would I want to split a happy meal with someone just to prove I'm not a gold digger? My shoes cost more than what's in your bank account, how bout that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:39 PM
58

Exactly my experience. People who like deep philosophical convos just have them, they don't advertise lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:52 PM
4

I'm here, as an engaged woman - not just for myself, but to share with others the strategies that worked for me. My growth as a person and as a woman is not close to being over. I never want to be "done" growing and leveling up. I'm on various other subs as well giving me perspective and it's not because I need it but because I want to help other women grow. It's so important to help. I always tell them "I made the mistakes so you don't have to!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:10 AM
3

Thank you for reading it, I hope it was informative :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:35 PM
13

It was indeed. It was a queer woman I believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:54 PM
28

Great article. This is the dark side of incels and the part that we definitely need to be vigilant about. Their space on reddit was a complete toxic cesspit. They feed off each other. It's only when you get them separated that you can see the bits and pieces and what makes them tick - but as I said, they always lie and are narcissists, so what I have above is from an unreliable narrator: the incel, himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:16 PM
51

"Do these guys lie about wanting a relationship just to attract more eyeballs to their bio?" Yes. All the time. You cannot trust anything you read on any OLD site or app. Some of those men are actually married/in relationships. Some are narcs. Some are pathologically hopping from bed to bed. I did OLD for about ten-ish years off and on and I can't tell you the amount of men with mommy issues, drinking issues, etc that looked great on paper but were awful in person that I came across. You seem li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:02 PM
29

Nah he knows what he's doing with the cheapness. He said his family are goldsmiths in the OP. If they ARE, he definitely knows what's up and what standards are. He just doesn't care or thinks he's special.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:11 AM
24

And also the men who accuse women of being gold diggers are always annoyed the woman doesn't want a dollar menu life. "You don't want a $140 dollar ring? GOLD DIGGER! Your idea of a romantic date night isn't an Arby's 5 for 5 carryout and watching me game for 8 hours? GOLD DIGGER." Sir, please. You couldn't afford an actual gold digger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:09 AM
9

Yup. He's probably a douchebag/fuckboy that grew up with daddy's money. It's amazing how much a simple picture can show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 06:09 PM
181

And nothing has changed for the better. Sad to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 06:00 PM
248

The worst thing any woman could be is a gold digger. The HORROR. While men dig everything else. Sex diggers, attention diggers, child care diggers, laundry diggers, cleaning diggers...list goes on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:04 PM
9

It reminded me of the woman whose boyfriend destroyed her plants in a fit of rage. And the dude who threw out his girlfriends mason jar collection that she put her smoothies in because he thought they were "tacky". LVM love destroying joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:59 PM
11

But like. I don't want dick pics for free, or otherwise. Keep them away from me. It's like "you can have all the herpes you want FOR FREEEEEE" as opposed to paying for them? Am I supposed to be thankful? No thanks, keep ur trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:49 PM
45

Because he wants to ALIENATE HER from her FRIENDS AND FAMILY with moving her AWAY so he can CONTROL HER LIKE HE DOES HIS character in CALL OF DUTY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:10 PM
28

was it the INTRUSIVE CAPS LOCK that gave you that VIBE?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:01 PM
73

How can you put a future job as your occupation? Especially when it sounds aspirational and not like "I'm moving to Kansas City in a month for my new job". He might as well put future astronaut. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 09:10 AM
26

Yeah I mean, that would be MY reason for rejecting him so it seems reasonable to assume lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 10:34 AM
1

I've been having this discussion lately, and I just feel really conflicted about it. She didn't do anything "wrong" and she doesn't owe me - or anyone else - staying in one lane. She doesn't owe us staying true to her original style. Styles change, people change, people mature. I feel weird judging a stranger and a woman for doing something kind of "normal" in our society. Just because it goes against my personal ethics and morals NOW doesn't really give me the right to judge her. Me at her age …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:44 PM
8

lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:22 PM
19

I'm waiting for a guy to say "tactical" instead of "tactile". "TACTICAL. You know, like sex and stuff. I just love tactical sensations."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:12 AM
15

Same. It isn't HV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:04 PM
264

This guy is a redpill devotee for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:47 AM
88

THANK YOU. Biggest pet peeve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:03 PM
60

This is rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:50 PM
8

Wow how did you find this lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:07 AM
3

Please tell me she dumped him. Or was she seriously considering staying? Why are men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 10:10 AM
18

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:02 PM
258

Oh yeah baby, do that basic chore every person in a household should contribute to. So hot, I love the bare minimum of functional adult I see in front of me. Meeee-owww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:37 PM
72

And the excuse when he murders her is "she had it coming." Never let yourself get put in a position where you cannot leave. This is not victim blaming - this is self-preservation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:49 PM
19

That's why you need to vet, vet, vet. Always work on improving yourself. Raise your own self esteem and standards first. Instead of getting attached quickly, look at them as strangers. Would you give a stranger the keys to your car? Would you let someone you've only known three weeks have control of your bank account? I hope the answer is "no". And - if you wouldn't give them control of your car or bank account - why would you give them control of your heart? Look at every dating scenario as com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 03:39 PM
2

AN obese? Lolol such poor grammar
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:54 PM
8

" When have you ever ripped off your clothes and went, "you're so fucking stupid Brad, that's so hot"??? " STOP JUDGING ME, THIS IS MY KINK. ..../sarcasm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 12:02 PM
11

Yeah that was really gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:51 AM
16

Oh I know she paid for it, dearly. In dignity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:58 PM
6

Hahahaa same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:20 PM
8

🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:21 AM
14

I didn't fast before I saw it and I have regrets
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:57 PM
260

THE NEST
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:21 PM
15

Very well done :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:27 AM
227

Yes, let's photoshop this beautiful child into a SEXY beautiful child. Barf. I don't like this planet. This is completely disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:31 PM
29

Then go for a walk on your free time. Don't walk date with a dude. You really want to go on a 5 mile hike in the woods on a date? As in, go into the woods. With a guy. ALONE. On a date. A guy you just met. WHAT. Do you want to get abducted and assaulted or are you just naive or do you carry a gun or what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:00 AM
52

But I know every rock and tree and creature, has a life. Has a spirit, has a name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 02:10 PM
9

YIKES YIKES YIKES. If I ever break up or divorce my fiance I am probably never going to date again lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:50 PM
42

It says "non-procreational" is I'm actually willing to bet it's a same sex union of some sort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:19 PM
3

I saw something that related it to left-handedness so...not WRONG there lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 03:33 PM
10

Ruminating is an ACTION. You might feel like you can't help it. If you have an internal monologue (some people don't), start changing the narrative. Actively chante words. "I am so stupid I fell for that" - don't think that. Try "I will not let myself be gaslit" or "I am so smart for learning what went wrong". Whatever you need to repeat to yourself to change the narrative. Also as soon as you have destructive thoughts? Do something loud and obnoxious instead. Start singing Barney songs, Lamb Ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:50 PM
70

Right? They see a comment and assume we don't have husbands/bf's/fiances/partners. So annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:48 PM
4

Yeah that one is ok from what I remember. It's been a long time since I've seen it though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:38 PM
20

Even in Spanglish he was kind of an asshole, and I really liked that movie. He was seriously about to cheat on his wife in that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:37 PM
39

31, almost 32 year old here and your 30's are infinitely better. You are going to love them. Confidence truly does skyrocket at the tail end of your 20's. I was right where you were when I was 28 :) congratulations on your accomplishments! You're going to love being older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:23 PM
30

Gawd. I know men suck but do they really need to suck that much?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:39 AM
58

I have to say I have a hard time believing this is real ...because I don't want it to be real. This dude HAD to have shown his true colors before this. There's no way someone that foul didn't let their mask slip before this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:24 AM
11

Are you still married?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:53 PM
2

Why indeed!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:58 AM
60

I hope your ex didn't actually look like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:38 PM
71

I cannot even with this lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:07 PM
25

Yup, mine too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:18 PM
240

"Hey uh I know I suck but like, this is cute, right?" Also I LOOOOVE the hidden abusive language. "You'll never find anyone who loves you as much as I do". That's emotional abusive language 101. It's what abusers tell their victims, so that the victims don't leave. This is a really, really insidious gift. It packages itself up as "high value" because it's jewelry, but it also negs the wife and primes her to believe that the abusive language is true. We are conditioned to believe that abuse is no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 03:09 PM
51

Honestly good for you. Therapy - years of it - are what helped me. You don't have to be perfect right away. You just have to be honest and try. Taking ownership of your problems like this is laudable. I'm sincerely proud of you for taking that first step. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:24 PM
35

That visual lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 04:46 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:23 PM
9

We need to start a movement, I'm telling you. It would really help women value each other and themselves so much more and it would make the guys realize that their bare-minimum efforts just will never cut it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 03:41 PM
35

ALSO: buy your girl friends flowers. We love them! When you see a bouquet, buy them and give them to your bestie. Normalize flower giving. It really is subversive too - when even your platonic best friends treat you better than the dude, why do you need the dude? If I take my best friends out for brunch, why can't dusty take them out for brunch? It raises self-worth and shows them they matter. I try to buy flowers for my girl friends at least once a month. It's a small action but I like to think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:21 PM
41

James Franco is a huge disappointment. Innocent men don't get flagged on as much as he does. He's a predator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:38 AM
26

Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:55 PM
16

what about the man who was literally living in a park in a tree and invited the girl up to his tree? I won't forget him either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 05:13 PM
3

THE NEST
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:02 PM
32

Men like that are a dime a dozen. They also are the ones who like to daydream and yank it to the fantasy of turning a lesbian straight. "You're just a lesbian because you haven't found the right man" and all that jazz. Yeah. Better to not let the cat out of the bag, at least not until you know he's a good egg or not (which should take you a looooong time).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:10 PM
511

Can Hollywood make this into a movie? I would watch it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:06 PM
1

My sincerest congratulations on that :D Way to go!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:30 PM
1

In hindsight it was a very nosy question and I'm sorry, completely none of my business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:49 PM
3

Wait how did it cost you $145,000 though?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:03 PM
10

Self respect because you have the knowledge now to not let it happen again. Throw yourself a party cause he's an ex! *throws confetti*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:05 PM
35

Gross hobo-sexual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 05:47 PM
94

Honestly as someone with chronic migraines I have no idea how mothers do it. You literally WOULD have to trick yourself into believing things are fine just to get through the day. I do, and I don't even have kids. Loud sounds make me vomit. Bright lights make me vomit. I can only do so much when I'm sick. Where ARE those children's fathers? How do women manage kids and chronic pain or disability of any kind?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 04:01 PM
73

Mine buys takeout when I don't cook dinner, but he also makes me breakfast every day. In terms of chores we actually DO 50/50. I think it's a very equitable split. He does vacuuming one week, I do it the next. We take turns with community dishes and always put our own away. We have our own bathrooms, and clean them how we prefer (I do a mid-week tidy as well as scrub tub etc on weekends). It wasn't something we had to hash out with a chore chart and if he had been that bad about it, I probably w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:32 PM
10

I know! I see young women all the time in the relationship subs posting about age gap relationships and that they're wonderful, happy little things - and then they get angry when they are contradicted. "age is just a number" has to be the biggest lie told to women next to "you can change him" or "men just love porn".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 01:00 PM
31

"How do I talk to him about him dropping our child without it seeming like I'm attacking him?" You don't. He needs to be attacked for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:08 AM
34

"Coffee date" =/= as putting in effort. Coffee + activity + time + effort = a date. Coffee at starbucks for 1 hour =/= a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 06:08 PM
46

That was NOT a coffee date. " took me out to get my favorite caramel frappe then we walked to a paintball arena (he registered us for an hour long session a few days prior) where he taught me how to play " That was an actual date. Y'all are missing the point. The point is the effort, not the beverage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 06:05 PM
64

Mine is very calm, comfortable. There's still passion but there isn't the drama or storms you associate with "passionate" relationships. It just feels warm, like you're wrapped in a comforting protected blanket of happiness. I don't know, haha. I've had passion and fights and drama and I would gladly take this over that any day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:25 PM
31

I KNEW IT. When Derrick Jaxn (spell) was exposed I was just like "well, wonder how long it'll take for Hussey". Haaaaa. Don't take dating advice from men if you're a woman. They have ulterior motives. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:53 AM
1

You can! And honestly I wouldn't recommend online dating unless you're willing and ready to brute force it like I did OR if you're looking for an entirely niche person that you would have no chance of finding (ie a non-douche atheist social democrat in the Bible belt, USA). If you have friends, use them. Network! Do a sport! Go to an event. Meet people in person. It's much better that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:24 PM
5

I guess I just feel bad. I don't know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:00 PM
10

Hahaha same! I've never not had one from PIV. Fast, easy and often. I know it's atypical of the average woman and I feel guilty whenever I see other women so frustrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:43 AM
39

Do yourself a favor, OP, and listen to Phoenix. She knows what she's talking about. When we criticize the men, we aren't criticizing YOU. You don't need to settle and you're doing yourself a disservice. This is your one life to live. Do you really want to spend it without pleasure? With LESS pleasure? NO!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:37 AM
18

You gotta cast a wide net. When I was looking I was looking with purpose. I don't even know how many first and second dates I went on in the four month span it took to find him. - hit next if they wanted park or coffee date - hit next if they made a suggestive comment before they set up a date or on the date - hit next if they didn't tip 20% + at the restaurant, were rude to the waiter, checked out the waitstaff...etc - hit next if they had any personal tick dealbreakers - hit next if they REALL…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:09 AM
32

Y'all are making very good points indeed. Yes, the difference here is he doesn't expect to get a million brownie points for this whereas a LVM would be sure to use this to wear you down and go "but I made you breakfast!" any time an argument popped up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:44 PM
46

" Thank you again, please give your cats a good brushing from me. Their winter coats must be coming off soon. " - - UMM. Does he really think that implying you aren't going to brush the cats properly is a selling point for him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:41 PM
10

excellent excellent point. I've known my fair share of ZVM who were wonderful at making mixed drinks but only because it served THEIR purposes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:33 PM
18

I'm trying to normalize giving your best friends flowers for no good reason. If I treat my friends like that maybe it'll click that men COULD if they wanted to too! I love getting flowers and I know lots of other people do too, so I make it a point to do it. Put out what you want to get, treat your friends well. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:57 PM
33

Right? Precovid I used to take my friends out for breakfast on their birthdays, give them flowers and treat them like they deserve. I wasted so much effort and energy doing the same thing for shitty men. Now I can treat someone the way I want and I get that same energy right back. It's nice. It's just nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:39 PM
63

And that's because treating each like this IS the most normal thing in the world. I would do that kind of thing without being asked and just without thinking about it. Why would you NOT? I'm happy that you have a good one as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:30 PM
33

Your life is so much more important than having eggs, trust me. But this is exactly what I mean - even abusive men can have moments where you go "well he isn't SO bad. Look, he made me a sandwich!" You have to consistently and objectively look at the relationship, and not get wooed by love bombing or manipulation. I'm sure abusive men know what they're doing when they do a HVM type thing! They know it makes us doubt ourselves and in your case it was also controlling. Not just an action to show l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:24 PM
368

We both are blessed to have each other in our lives. Every day we show love like this. Show respect like this. Show care like this. It's almost a given that we'll do stuff like that for each other - but it's just so fucking rare I can't help but still get sappy about it. He could have easily stayed in bed and not got up to fix me my breakfast. He could have taken a few more hours sleep. I didn't expect him to do it - I was halfway planning on grabbing a wrap or something in a drive thru (yes bad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:39 PM
7

Sounds like an incel cope. FREE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION OR ELSE. Yeah ok buddy. Women don't like you, we get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:42 AM
169

Ok, a lot to break down here: 1) Victim blaming, obviously. 2) So not wanting to be assaulted is a left-wing thing? How is wanting to be safe walking down the street inherently "leftist"? This is actually extremely telling of the right wing types: they feel entitled to your body because you're a woman. They also like women who shut up and take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:00 PM
379

Aaah, right! If only men could take out their anger at sex workers the world would be better. Imagine typing it and actually meaning it. Or better yet! Don't!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:43 PM
26

Lord have mercy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:55 PM
4

The most I would do is leave the vaccine card at his doorstep - that's the only thing that might matter, but he should have thought about that beforehand. Don't try to contact him. Block him on everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:51 PM
109

...this is insane. What the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:14 PM
28

We're saying it's embarrassing because IT IS EMBARRASSING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:48 AM
4

Please tell me one of you ladies did this so that we could have a laugh? God. This can't be real. My brain refuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:51 PM
109

Hey! Don't insult trash bags like that. At least they have a purpose
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:57 PM
12

Well, yes and no. I was physically, emotionally, verbally and sexually abused by multiple men. For that, I got therapy. I actually had PTSD from some of the instances. I don't know that "haunted" is the same...feel, as "panic attacks". I do feel shitty about the LVM that I allowed to orbit me. I'm not happy that I allowed men to be in situationships with me and that I tried to play cool girl. I have a lot of regrets there, and that's probably more what you mean. Thankfully therapy helped me and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:55 AM
9

" It's not lack of mental health resources. " Damn straight. It's lack of ability and insight to know THEY are the problem. That THEY have to work to improve themselves. It's laziness. It's this shame they have about admitting they have problems. It's this entitlement to women - that women need to fix the problem, that women need to listen, that if they just had an UnDeRsTaNdInG wOmAn everything would change. They also know that they control this narrative and they have no obligation to change i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 11:51 AM
18

It only makes sense to use apps if you're a minority of a minority in a city and there would be no way to meet anyone who fits those metrics the good old-fashioned way. What I mean is: I want to date a liberal, atheist, childfree man who actually has morals and ethics, is family oriented, owns a house, owns a car, has hobbies, doesn't smoke or drink, has a career etc. And the only guys I see are Trump men. It made sense to go on an app for me. The counties around me went for Trump like 95% in 20…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:56 PM
23

Baking. Everyone acts like because I bake, I must constantly treat my SO. They say "oh he's so lucky". I mean...sure, I guess, but I'm more than just a private cook for my SO. I do it because I love it. Even my mom has said things to the effect of "he's with you because you can cook/bake" and that just hurts my feelings. Sometimes I've wished I had a more self-involved hobby that didn't end up with everyone benefitting from it. Had an ex who wouldn't let me bake for my friends anymore because he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 05:11 PM
15

*Atlanta killings. And sure. https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/were-atlanta-shootings-case-femicide-n1261448 https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2021-03-19/atlanta-area-spa-shootings-highlight-knotted-extremist-ideas-scholars-say https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/hesse-atlanta-asian-women/2021/03/18/183b3f00-8749-11eb-8a8b-5cf82c3dffe4_story.html https://www.businessinsider.com/the-atlanta-shooting-and-the-dangers-of-evangelical-purity-culture-2021-3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:30 PM
-3

I feel like that might depend on your news sources and social circles, but I have no doubt that many are only acknowledging the racism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:52 PM
27

It's intersectional. 100% racism. 100% misogyny. It's both. Edit: left out a zero, oops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:12 PM
10

I've always been suspicious of men that empower women and give relationship advice. It wouldn't shock me if it was true, same as the other dude - Hussey? I think? It makes sense. They can play and pretend that they're pro-women when they're playing them. Perfect cover. "Hey Liz, I'm going to be late getting home. Have a conference with this poor unfortunate soul, in pain, in need." And then they "minister" affection and sex to "heal" the poor unfortunate soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:42 PM
38

I think what stands out to me the most and made me see it as "oh yeah definitely about race!" is the sheer number of strip clubs, porn stores etc that the POS had to pass to get to where he took their lives. Go into google maps in the area. Look at the strip clubs. Look at the adult entertainment venues. He CHOSE them. Race had 100% to do with it just as much as gender did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:38 PM
11

I did, and I just got a lot of people saying he's a cheater. I mean I believe it, but haven't seen proof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:35 PM
167

Whole lot of words for "you don't matter enough to me, for me to listen to your wants and needs."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 03:38 PM
34

lmao what a clowwwwn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:14 PM
67

I'm childfree for a multitude of reasons, and it hasn't affected my dating life much. I don't tell people openly that I'm choosing not to have children. I wait and bide my time, and see how they feel about kids first. Sitting in silence and letting them talk while you listen is really the smartest way to go about things. Read the handbook - "dumb fox" is what I believe that is called. I certainly don't advertise my position since very few people around me understand it. I don't think the men I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 02:12 PM
40

Aaaaaghh. She's more worried about looking like a gold digger than actually eating a meal. She would rather starve herself than offend him, or say "no, we're splitting this ONE DISH 50/50". It is not about money. It is about self-respect. A good man would NOT let a potential girlfriend or wife go hungry. It would not happen. Key word is GOOD MAN. A LVM/NVM would for sure let a woman go hungry - but a man who cares about others would never do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:31 AM
7

I would agree but it's probably against reddit TOS to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:59 AM
15

Thank you, I was like "a salad IS food".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:56 AM
15

- When we started quarantine, he made me an office area in the house so I could work from home too. Comfiest chair, new desk, new coffee cups, etc. - He takes care of me during my migraines and never judges me for them. He's spent a few thousand helping me sort them out. - He makes me breakfast every morning so I can work out before I go to work. Otherwise, I wouldn't eat in the morning. It's really sweet. - Anytime he gets a raise, he tells me to put an extra 2% into MY 401k and takes my shared…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:51 PM
17

I mean, who hasn't dated Mr. Sandwich at some point?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:41 AM
47

He looks like an older, balder version of a dude I dated when I was 19 lol. Kinda did a double take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:03 PM
58

No to getting drunk, yes to going out with friends and him having a glass or something. Limited use while out, and abstaining at home would be good enough for me. I would just want to make sure he never had enough to impair him from driving if something were to happen to me and I needed medical care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:47 PM
48

It's kind of like them saying "I had a vasectomy, don't need a condom". Don't take anyone at their word when it comes to your health. Ask for proof. They give you a card when you're vaccinated. Also unrelated but if a guy (even in a relationship) wants to go condom free with the "vasectomy" line...cut him loose. Yes, vasectomies prevent pregnancy but they don't prevent STI's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:06 PM
17

The way I see the NAMALT trope is similar to the way "but i'm not racist" tropes work. You might not be racist, BUT YOU BENEFIT FROM YOUR SKIN. You might not be racist, BUT YOU LIVE WITH PRIVILEGE. If you aren't acknowledging the problem, you are part of the problem. Not all men, but ALL WOMEN. We all have this collective knowledge and experiences. I don't know a single solitary woman who doesn't have a horror story - whether it's being chased, molested, harassed, catcalled, assaulted, abused, e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:38 AM
15

I think you're dead on the money there. Plus we're anti-gamer and anti-porn, so there goes the other half of reddit haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:46 PM
108

Yup, I'm also staying childfree. I could never be a single mom - or a married mom who has two kids and a man-baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:12 PM
15

SO true. We want to live in peace with our friends and sisters. We just want to be treated like humans. And that's radical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:53 PM
87

The goal of most on this board is a good relationship with a good man, and short of that - no relationship at all and finding peace in themselves. It's about high standards and love. TRP is NOT that. It is quite the opposite. None of what FDS says is manipulative in nature. It's about showing your value and if the man does not meet the standard, they're gone, block and delete. It is not about finding a gullible man and draining him of money and sex. It's about finding a man who DOES want to comm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:51 PM
13

I played jedi apprentice with my friends since "women aren't warriors". I LOVE swashbuckling adventures. Kickin' ass is my jam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:44 PM
151

I actually remember this "woman" who was posting like she was in college/just out of high school and she was thinking about going on a murder spree or something like that. I reported, "she" got in my DM's and unleashed hell on me calling me a hypocrite, mask came off and it was actually a guy. I think I still have the DMs saved, it was a year ago or so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:27 PM
32

It's because we don't sugarcoat the problem. I'm engaged, and ridiculously happy in my relationship. I got him using FDS. Vetting, paying attention, having a rotating date schedule and going on 5+ dates every weekend with new guys rotated in (first date goes ok, second date, evaluate and throw away). He passed every internal "test" I had. I seriously had a notebook I used for dating to process my thoughts and feelings so I could look at situations objectively. And I hold myself to a high standar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:09 PM
146

The man who abused me most, messaged me on facebook from an alt account a full four years after it was over. Younger me, immediately after the breakup, would have loved it. Would have made him hurt. Would have said anything - "I'm happier without you" "I finally love myself" "you broke me" etc. But I didn't say a word. I just blocked and deleted. I felt nothing for him, besides a bit of pity and amusement. He really thought I would respond! He really thought I was low enough and hated myself eno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 11:57 AM
11

Always look at the source. Now I'm not saying men are 100% of the time going to give you bad advice - BUT - look at who came up with the "love languages" spiel in the first place. A man. Not a psychologist - a pastor. A southern baptist pastor. Hmm. Hmm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:39 PM
9

Make sure you don't let your guard down too early. This is three dates in or around there? He sounds great, don't get me wrong. But three months should be your "probationary period". If he continues to behave like this the full three months, you just might have found a good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:37 PM
1

wow at all the no's. That can't be right. I wonder how many times the people who said "yes" have been attacked? Me personally - 7.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:58 PM
28

The "Love Languages" thing is just garbage anyways. A good relationship should have ALL the "Love Language". You should be showered with words of affirmation AND gifts AND acts of service AND physical affection AND quality time (and show those to the right partner). All of those are crucial. I don't have just one or two that I need. I need all of them. My fiance also needs all of them, and I am happy to oblige because all my "love language" needs are met. Love Language is just a thing someone cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:52 PM
16

Being a SAHM invites a shit ton of risk into your life. By all means, go for it. But know the risks. I know FAR too many women who have been fucked over by the men they married and whose careers got wrecked and are unemployable because of the employment gaps - even the highly educated ones. Nobody wants to take a risk on someone who had a career for three years, then nothing for 10. The gamble is huge. Unless you know for certain you can get out if you need to, will have money if you need to, an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:55 PM
1

I'm really not following what this is trying to show? If men act weird, block and move on. If women act weird, block and move on. Guy "tests" me? He's gone. Back and forth just makes you look bad and wastes your time. Your time is valuable. Show it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:06 PM
6

Because it is the Breaking Mom sub, and giving real advice is not allowed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:31 PM
4

Yup, I'm also remaining childfree because I refuse to be a single mom - or worse, mother to a 30+ year old man AND a child. Nope nope nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:29 PM
648

YOU LIED TO ME This man sounds exhausting. Even if there wasn't a creepy age gap, this is a flamin' red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:36 PM
12

Nope. The asshole who was abusive to me was NOT a hot 10/10 baggable dude. He was a wormy looking guy who somehow thought he was hot shit. I was kind of desperate for affection at the time *applies clown makeup* so I didn't care much that he wasn't my type.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:47 PM
8

Special Science Boy! I cackled
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:45 PM
15

Yeah, it fucked me up for most of my teens. I was diagnosed bipolar (am unsure if I actually AM) but I think the truth was I was being abused, plus molested by my stepfather. I had a whole manic fake personality, and it would just break and I'd be suicidal and depressed. It's one of the reasons I don't want kids. I'm sort of afraid that I would find myself repeating that pattern of abuse and I refuse to be part of that pattern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 03:33 PM
29

After my parents divorced, I learned how to cook and fast. On weekends when my dad had us, I would have to cook. I was 12 or 13 at the time. I loved cooking once I got the general hang of it so it wasn't something I ever complained about. Only in hindsight do I go "umm, why couldn't he make hamburger helper? Why did I have to cook meals?" I also had to cook on nights my mom went to college. I was babysitting and cooking at "home", too. She relied on me way too much for a 12 year old. I was an ad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 12:31 PM
54

I HOPE it freaked him out lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:50 AM
2

OOOOH...somehow not surprising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:32 PM
43

Mara has talked a lot about this before and I've always been shocked at how the system treated her. I don't know WHY I was shocked. Men seem to have this incredibly fucked-up sense of "humor" when it comes to countdown clocks for when the women are legal. Emma Watson comes to mind. We act like this is "normal"...it's crazy how much society accepts the fucked-upness of it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:31 PM
167

Who cares what men think, though, really. We only need to care what WE think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:26 PM
63

"Assss youuuuuu wiiiiiiiiishhhh!" "Oh my sweet Wesley, what have I done?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:43 PM
176

I'm sorry for your loss, even when it was first felt so long ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:50 PM
31

🤣😆🤣 Why are men so fucking WEIRD? I don't even know what to say lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:23 AM
9

Yup. This was a lot worse though, bc he said he was half and his mother was 100%. Just an outright lie. If it was way down the line - ya know, fine but weird. He just laid it down THICK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 09:36 PM
37

Ah! I deleted my own comment lmao. Yes, there is a lot of white supremacy in "ancestry" groups. It's really fucking gross. I'm interested in it now, because of an equally gross lie. My maternal grandfather pretended to be a Native American for 60+ years. He claimed he was half Cherokee on his mother's side. Nobody knew her and - who would lie about that - so everyone believed him. He grew his hair long, kept in a pony tail and got special considerations to keep it long at work because of his "an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:39 PM
45

I love this hahaha You get a lot of that in the ancestry groups (I'm in some). Guys will get PISSED whenever ancestry does an update and suddenly they're less Scottish or Irish than they used to be. "How is this possible! I went from 9% Norwegian to only 2%! Waaa!" Like, grow up, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:55 PM
28

I just feel awful for the people of Texas, whose local government was run so poorly. 47 dead and counting. This could have all been avoided. Republicanism is a disease.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:36 AM
5

This is the quality content I'm here to see. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:30 AM
54

How do they think this is attractive to women? Just...how?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:15 PM
4

Eww, Hasan? Kyle Kulinski is so much hotter imho. Kyle is also problematic, but Hasan plays up the incel tropes and calls his viewers "kings" all the time and it's so...eww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:25 PM
2

Gosh, I get it. I had one history teacher in high school who I would talk to all the time, because I was going through such a hard time (getting molested will do that to you). He said I had a lot of "angst" and I would spend lunches in his room. He literally brushed tears off my face once and it was...at the time, I thought he was just being nice, but it did bother me that he touched my face. I also had a guidance counselor who would stare at my boobs whenever I'd come in. I was deeply suicidal …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:07 PM
7

Dawww u hurt his feewings
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:00 PM
78

Cannibalism...play? What did I miss!? How is that a thing? We call these people psychopaths for a reason. It ain't a kink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:48 PM
25

Line starts over there, ladies! No need to fight! WE CAN TAKE TURNS! .../sarcasm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:38 PM
27

Ooof. I'm sorry. You're right though - the male gaze can hurt no matter how you're dressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:20 PM
89

I remember the happiest I ever was, was in the dead of winter in Baltimore. Long black peacoat, scarves around me, bulky snow pants, hat on. I was a huge lump. Nobody catcalled me or talked to me and I felt totally free. I also felt stupid cold, because it was -20*F outside. But I was free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:41 PM
55

Ho-Lee-shit.. Nope. Nope. They are canceled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:02 AM
75

That the women see through his nonsense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 11:03 PM
40

Eww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:44 PM
29

Thank you, that makes it make more sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:12 PM
16

Why should a woman hurt another woman? Get together and sue the man, especially if he lied to both parties. Suing the other woman is stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 06:52 PM
11

Aah, same. Those songs were so good. I bet I couldn't listen to them now lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:54 PM
39

Never take a man's number and never text first. Why? Because it's a lazy man's wet dream to pretend that a woman is "chasing" him. And no. Like the tides come and go, LVM never grow up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:52 PM
27

I developed my own strategy for online dating, pre-FDS. I made it work because it was the only crude instrument I had, but it was like wading into a sewer full of rats and shit to find a diamond ring someone *might* have flushed down on accident. Not exaggerating. Some of us get lucky and some of us don't. What does work is holding ourselves accountable, holding our standards up, and not compromising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:40 PM
77

Thank you for all of this - especially for the clarification on the Social Group Strategy flair. You guys rock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:18 PM
131

**men Women wouldn't do that kinda nonsense lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:28 PM
10

I got chills. This was amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 12:54 PM
39

"I'm the property of a man who scares me sometimes" Couldn't be me. I have NEVER been scared of my fiance. If I was, I would fuckin' leave. I'm sure this isn't meant literally but even a joke like this can negatively influence someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:12 PM
2

I. Knew. It. Good ol' Mitch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:18 PM
5

Did we work at the same restaurant? Was his name Mitch? I bet his name was Mitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:12 PM
30

Exactly. I met my partner online and it worked for me - BUT I put in hours and hours of time weeding out NVM/LVM first. It took work and I kept my standards ridiculously high. I kind of thought of it like...trying to fill a coffee grinder with beans, and one bean is gold and you just have to pour hundreds of beans in to get ground up on the off chance one is gold and you have to grab it fast before it gets ground up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 02:05 PM
15

"School of Hard Knox" - AKA, Trump supporting wangsta, macho, shit stained undies, beard hair in the sink, belching, beer belly, "It was just a joooooke", "haha make me a sammich", "Tosh.0 is funny!", liking insta models, mommy issues, too much porn.... How can I know everything about him just off a picture and a phrase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:37 PM
51

Holding people accountable for their words and actions is somehow radical. There's nothing radical about how I treat my other half. I give him respect, love, affection, nurturing - but only because he does all the same for me. We go out of our way to treat the other person well. I only got him because I followed FDS standards. I held myself accountable, and worked hard to be healthy on my own. He only got me because he held himself accountable, and worked hard to be healthy on his own. It's mutu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:41 PM
4

Well, several reasons. 1) You can't date "normally". You have to choose a socially distanced date, and typically that means a walk or picnic and while those are fine for established couples it doesn't do well for a first date. It also leads to more "Netflix and chill" type scenarios, which are bad for us. 2) The men online right now are more than likely not interested in safe dates. HVM will know that they can't risk their health and safety on a date. HVM will be spending their time working on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:09 PM
8

I try not to ask outright questions, because some guys will say anything they think you want to hear. Easier to just say something like "it's wild how X is in the news again." without saying why you think it's wild, and then just listen to what they say about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:03 PM
12

My political leanings are very important to me, so: Automatic "no" if they had a piece of Trump-brand attire on. Automatic no if they said "god, guns or country" or something like that. I'd ask them to comment on something going on in the news. If they seemed Trumpy, I would next them. Even if they tried to go "well devil's advocate" I would next them. You can tell a lot about someone from how they talk and unfortunately Trump cultists can't help themselves when it comes to talking about conspir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:57 PM
23

YES. I will say that meeting someone online right now is not going to work and everyone on there should be an automatic no. I personally do like online dating. I have relatively specialized interests where I live and would never have found a suitable match if I hadn't looked online. There aren't people like me around here. I'm extremely leftist and where I live, most people are fanatical Trumpers. Had I gone through strict FDS approved ways to meet people I never would have found a match.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:01 PM
195

That's why I'm here. Someone called FDS a cult and the worst anti-men sub, so I had to look and see for myself. Obviously I stuck around lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:22 PM
88

Liking weed is not a personality, seems like he's very confused. Do yourself a favor? If you see someone like this again, just block or say "not interested" immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:26 PM
59

I love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:30 PM
77

Or "in an open relationship with" a wife/fiance/girlfriend. Oh, the relationship IS open, but their SO doesn't know that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:44 PM
7

Leftist, not liberal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 10:43 PM
6

Just blocking and deleting will save you time and effort. He's always going to be like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:03 PM
24

I mean, serious answer is to get a pet and nurture it. Cats and dogs are loyal, fun companions. When it comes to "how to treat a man" - give as good as you get. If you like cooking, do it because you like it but not FOR HIM. And if he does nothing in return, just nurture yourself and don't give him any. If he seems to expect it - throw him off and don't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 11:22 PM
60

The ring is just the wrong size in general. Small stones can look good (maybe), but not when it looks like its choking the finger lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:38 AM
10

Uh, your instructions are confusing - do you want everyone to vote "not me"? Heckin' confused. lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:55 PM
8

This was my favorite jam in high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:29 PM
9

Yeah, "cute" shouldn't be something a stranger says about you/to you. That's probably the issue with it here. It's too familiar and condescending. Even from a fellow woman, I just kinda grimace and say "thank you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:58 PM
15

Yes, it just comes across as condescending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:43 PM
28

My...god.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 02:47 PM
7

It's entirely up to you how you want to spend your time! Just giving an opinion on what I'd do :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:00 PM
29

If you do online dating, now is the best time for online dating. What on earth can I mean by that? Write down their handles, so that they can't make a new one to be tricksy when you block/delete them. If they ask you for a bum date, immediately block. You can eliminate SO MANY of these men right now, so that when you do decide to go back to actually meeting people - these are automatically off the top of the stack. NONE of these men are worth dating. Not a single one. None. Go ahead and eliminat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:22 PM
6

I bought one that's a forklift operator. I'm not a forklift operator (obvs..?), but I love the meme and think this level of extra is hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:53 PM
91

Any guy who likes Rick and Morty is an automatic red flag lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:55 AM
37

Father and daughter do deserve alone time. This doesn't sound like he thought it through at all let alone address OP with his thoughts/ask for feedback, which is...typical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:08 PM
104

Yup. Poly is a scam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:13 PM
7

Why is she ok being a literal servant..? Does she not see that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:56 AM
7

Don't ask to come over in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:48 PM
5

Yeah, I can and I will. Not wanting to talk about something so important and preferring to just find out "maybe" if you put on a movie or something is not smart. You might already have formed an attraction to the person and then be willing to settle for awful views and tell yourself "oh I guess he isn't so bad/maybe he can change". That's just not FDS. And you so cavalierly said " As for finances, all I need to know is that they have a stable job for at least 2 years, and all their bills are pai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:41 PM
12

" Stop with the bullshit of it's okay to date someone with different political beliefs. Are you for real with that? It's privelege plain and simple. " Exactly! If you are able to "see past differences" that just means that those "differences" aren't things that affect you, like oh I don't know - being stopped and potentially murdered by police for being Black in the wrong side of town. "Oh he's pro-cop and pro-Trump but we make it work :)" = "I don't see anything really wrong with this paradigm"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 01:06 PM
10

Definitely. White privilege is real. I got a ban on Facebook yesterday for calling it out. I don't give a fuck about the ban, and I can't wait to get back on and keep calling out the low-key racists that share my skin color. Being quiet about white supremacy even if you disagree with it is the same thing as being a white supremacist at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 01:03 PM
33

Let's be clear though: there are bad awful men who are Latino, Asian, Black. My fiance is Latino and his brother is one of those crazies and they got in a fist fight Christmas 2019 over Q Anon bullshit and Trump whackness. My ex-bf's Vietnamese ex-best friend is a MAGA fan too, red hat and slut shaming jokes included. It makes no sense but they exist. I would say 99.99% of the problem is DEFINITELY white men, but don't lower your guard too fast. Patriarchal, supremacist views can occur in anyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:59 PM
10

"" In general, dont need to speak about those thing, because they come out of their own accord anyway. "" ...yeah, with time. Do you want to waste years on a no-good piece of shit? Have you ever read anything FDS? Why are you here? You're willing to waste years and spend time with someone who is an extremist??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:44 PM
11

My thoughts exactly. Especially if you live in the south.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:37 PM
8

I think the movie Knight's Tale did it best - we are not targets. We are the arrows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:09 PM
15

Yeah, like three or four times over lol. It's ok though, the picture fits the sub well. I would just do a check through the memes on the sub next time :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:43 PM
12

Matthew Hussey is so awful it's funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:51 PM
22

Yikes on the meme, though. Glad other people pointed it out. Black women face far more prejudice than white women - obviously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:09 PM
10

Did he swallow a thesaurus or
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:33 PM
41

lmao what the fucccck I feel so sorry for her but also - why are you with this man child who can't even propose right? Or bother planning?? Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:25 PM
3

We used to call once daily for around 30 minutes at the end of they day, and then memes throughout the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:13 PM
12

Oh, I know they're hypocrites. That goes without saying. R/relationship_advice is full of nothing but sex positive idiots who disrespect women's boundaries when it comes to porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 11:27 PM
-16

So I'm also against her doing the shoot, tbh - and I commented as such. I think her husband showed resistance to the idea. To him, boudoir is synonymous with porn. Wrong or right, that's how he saw it. We know how men view women who do porn: as objects. The OP's husband doesn't want to objectify her, or have the photographer (a man) objectify her. It isn't so much about her husband "controlling" her in my opinion. Just he knows porn is bad, and sees boudoir as close enough for him to be uncomfor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 11:08 PM
72

I mean, on one hand no amount of luxury items can mask a bad relationship, that's true. But that isn't what she's talking about lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:01 AM
9

I mean why advertise that you're bad at sex like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 12:04 PM
132

Bare minimum and still had to tell him he had to "adult".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:51 PM
8

"No thanks" I'm dying lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 12:28 PM
10

Wow, duh. I kind of forgot about tipped workers. You're exactly right. Maybe that's how he could do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:13 PM
11

I keep around $50 in my wallet in case of emergencies, but I don't USE the money and I always know how much is there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:12 PM
36

I mean...yeah. I grew up poor so I've always had a very firm grip on my money. I've had the same 48 bucks in my wallet since July, so this definitely could never happen to me. Like a LVM/NVM would and probably has tried to do this before, I'm sure. I just wouldn't think it would work lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 01:23 PM
179

I don't buy it (or don't want to). Idk about y'all but I primarily use cards and not cash, and use cash so infrequently that if even $1 was missing I'd know. How would you think to yourself every day "wow I thought I had more cash than this!" And not catch on something was up? Also $100 is not a "treat" amount of money. That's like, a nice pair of pants or a haircut. If you're rich enough to misplace $4 a day without noticing or caring than $100 is just pocket change and would get an "oh..ok" re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:48 PM
13

She decided to keep him then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:37 AM
21

I saw it and just....I feel so old and mean. I wouldn't put up with this respect NOW. But I would have at like...21/23.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:21 PM
9

I know, that's what I got sore about. I can hate sex work while understanding and feeling compassion for someone's struggles. It's a hard line to walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:48 PM
12

I hope so too. I feel for her - I think I kind of run with empathy and compassion first, even when I know the choices were gawdaful. So many of us were poorly educated at one time. I have a bunch of "sEx WoRkEr PoSiTiVe" friends who think they're doing a good thing standing up for their friends when really...they're just helping create a worse world. Horribly misguided.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:43 PM
20

Tell me about it. Nobody gets to see me without my express consent, each time. Giving a photo removes that consent. Anyone could see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:39 PM
9

" Rolling Stone legitimizing her invented “struggle” through this is fucking insane, but they are just a music magazine. " This is the only bit I took exception to in your statement. She clearly WAS struggling. Does that mean she should have done porn/sex work? No. But she was struggling, that wasn't "invented". West Virginia is near and dear to my heart and the people from there - the struggle is indeed real. I kind of can read between the lines. To reiterate: she does sex work, and I don't con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:37 PM
40

I know. I sure as shit wouldn't take nudes AT ALL - let alone to sell. They have a way of biting you in the ass. I've seen some of my friends fall victim to revenge porn. I've had men whine about me not sexting "you're so boring" - no. I respect myself. Annnnd you're blocked now for not respecting me. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:32 PM
173

God, she dealt with so much. She's so young, and put in a bad situation. Should she have known better? I don't even know. We're trained from a young age that porn is ok, men need porn, porn is empowering, sex is empowering etc. Her friends even put her on the site in the first place - telling her she could make money selling nudes. It's just so much in the culture now. It isn't the rich and powerful women doing it - it's young, starving, broken people just trying to make ends meet for the most p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:08 PM
5

I did it at 23. Wish I'd been smarter too. It hasn't and won't happen again though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:34 AM
19

I never even considered my breasts as being a possible culprit for my neck/back pain and migraines. What the fuck. Maybe I should get a reduction. I always had small breasts until a few years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 03:34 PM
10

You got PICKED! Wow! Sight unseen, no less!! I am so happy for you - nay, happy for all of us who are here in your presence! *sarcasm directed at the male, not at you*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:45 PM
96

Yes, and it's utter horseshit. I need FDS because I'm being pursued, not because I have no options. I had too many options and needed to maximize and sort my matches in a way that benefited me. I know plenty of the women here are young, vibrant and beautiful. Maybe even a majority. I don't see a lot of posts or responses here from women who talk about how ugly they are?? Where that takeaway is from, I don't even know. Not my planet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:21 PM
3

I mean I agree with whoever this person is? Being anti-mask is absolutely stupid. Being anti-vaxx is absolutely stupid. Should this be the first message? I mean for me those things are deal breakers. Stupidity is a deal breaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 10:46 PM
177

Why is she with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:27 PM
5

The nest is still my personal favorite sub joke
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:32 AM
3

Geeze. I wanted to eat a sub last night and my fiance didn't but he still paid for the sub for me. He's the kindest person. He didn't have to do that. I coulda bought my own food. And then there are men like THIS asshole who can't even pay for dinner on their ANNIVERSARY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:33 PM
100

"Absolutely not" mood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:57 PM
46

I had something like that happen in my early 20's. I don't know why they won't believe us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:28 PM
13

Oh, I went through more than 1000 matches. It suited my lifestyle at the time. I don't think I'd do it again if I was trying to date again, but it worked for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:20 PM
25

Ehhh agree on almost everything. I found mine online but was only talking to 1/100 men who messaged me, and if they didn't want to meet me immediately and gauge interest on a real date I unmatched and blocked. It was extremely useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:09 PM
17

Oh yeah. I didn't know how to process the rape(s) that happened to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:02 PM
713

I would draw him a picture of a PS5. Same level of effort. I also would have dumped earlier than this but ya know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:52 PM
2

Pattern seeking mammals, like I said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 07:35 PM
20

Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I was in a situation like that when I was in my early 20's and I can't stress how much better off you'll feel once you're out. I know how bad that hurts, especially being alone on Christmas. That feeling broke me. I hate this so much for you. You need to work up the courage to leave. Life without him will be so much better than you know. It will hurt - terribly - but it is something you need. Take care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:21 PM
15

Just personal experience on the only children thing. It's more a male thing probably than female. Any male only child I dated was just awful to me and a narcissist. It's all subjective and it probably speaks more to men being shit than only children being shit. I had a lot of weird dealbreakers and it isn't personal. We're pattern seeking mammals and see correlations where there are none. I also won't date Scorpios but don't care about the rest of the zodiac. I know I'm irrational. I don't mean …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:55 PM
22

Yeah, I never date only children. It was one of my weird secret dealbreakers. I go for either the oldest or the youngest. The oldest because they cared for the kids and are empathetic; the youngest because sometimes they learn from their older sibling's mistakes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:35 PM
10

Today in "why are men"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:58 PM
16

OOOOOOF. Called out. Former me is ashamed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 11:54 AM
46

Wow is there really? Men are strange creatures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 08:36 PM
501

ToO GoOd FoR a SoUp KiTcHeN No. I would not go on a date to a soup kitchen. If I am in need of a soup kitchen I would not be dating. I would be doing everything I could to get back on my feet. Imagine trying to date when you're food-insecure. Priorities, sir, do you have them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 07:46 PM
18

Y I K E S
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 07:42 PM
10

Uh I've never seen my fiance spit and he gets grossed out when he sees other people do it, so yes there are men that don't spit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:59 PM
44

Not even giving you a face to face talk about divorce? I wouldn't give him the time of day, ever again. I wouldn't communicate. I would find someone else to communicate to him when he can pick his shit up. I would let my lawyer talk to him. Anybody but me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:14 PM
2

"Loyal" "unfaithful" If he was loyal he can't be unfaithful. If you're unfaithful, you can't be loyal. That is....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:09 PM
30

What in the actual fuddrucker He went off the deep end immediately because you said "you look familiar".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:07 PM
19

Eh. I do like average more but mostly because I was throat-fucked a few too many times as a pickme and I like knowing there's no way it can happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:26 PM
17

Does it say he did those things or are you speculating..?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:44 PM
3

Yeah, it's unfortunate. They'd rather stay with the man and defend him than move on and have some self respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:05 AM
94

"Sorry the good guy isn't for you" Uh. Calling yourself a good guy doesn't mean anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:04 AM
14

Did Christina hack his account or is this man that stupid lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:47 PM
40

"We love each other dearly" Nah, he doesn't. He likes you enough but you're a glorified fleshlight, honey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:42 PM
8

My fiance just lets me have his phone for whatever. He doesn't even care. I changed all his lock screen pictures to an inside joke yesterday. I don't go looking in his phone and barely even touch it except to hand it to him, but I know he doesn't do anything. So...a little of both? I don't look into his phone but he wouldn't care if I did. Same with my phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:10 PM
18

I've never asked for a dick pic and half the ones I've received are from total strangers who I've never talked to at all. The others are from men I thought were ok/were my friend's boyfriends. I had to tell two different women that "hey, your boyfriend send me a dick pic". Lost both those friendships btw because it was somehow my fault (?!).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:20 PM
25

If you'd of been there. If you'd have seen it. I bet you you would have done the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:54 PM
270

Breaking mom. AKA "I don't want to leave my man! I just want to bitch for the rest of my life." How they don't see the behaviors as manipulative and abusive is beyond me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 01:03 AM
80

I saw that post and felt so sorry for her. Actually playing games together is great. Watching them play an FPS game for hours and seeing them yell and be idiots is not. If this was a bonding activity, he'd pick something she could play too. As it is she's just an audience...and probably bored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 08:05 PM
110

Yeah, sorry but no. I'm 31 and I remember being 21 and thinking the 30 year old man I was dating chose me because I was so mature. They chose young women because they can take advantage of them. End of discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 07:22 PM
148

Breaking mom sub? I can't read those posts. I get too mad at what those women accept. I think men like this are pathetic. Can't be assed to do anything to "help". Not even one thing. Then think YOU'RE in the wrong for calling them out while jerking off in the bathroom all day. I'm eternally grateful I have a guy who does the bare minimum - but also goes well beyond that. I didn't have to ask him to help me clean the kitchen or clear leftovers. He said "no, I got this, just relax." And he ran me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:12 PM
5

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:17 PM
5

I mean if they're that scared of a food, they aren't manly men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:35 PM
30

I blame the grandma most. She should have said "that old man said WHAT!? Let me tell him a thing or two. And honey - if that boy wants you, he will build a bridge. Don't chase him. Trust me." Grandma marches off, beats the old man over the head with a cane for a while and calls him out in front of the whole village, girl realizes the boy doesn't really love her and starts a bakery selling cakes to people and a smart man from a city comes and finds her, falls in love with her, and builds her a ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:52 PM
5

Why am I crying? What is this witchcraft?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:36 PM
149

too..girly? The actual fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:36 PM
9

I know we didn't date the same man (I'm 10 years older than you), but I had a very similar thing happen to me. I overdosed because of the abuse. Kicker was he actually told me to kill myself and threw me the bottle of xanax so I could do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:12 PM
21

YIKES YIKES YIKES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:57 PM
7

Yeah. And then he threw me out of the house because he didn't want me to die there since he had weed and didn't want to catch a charge; it was actually snowing too if you can believe that. I had to walk to the hospital and have my stomach pumped and spent a week in the psych ward for the attempt. I don't remember much, I blacked out twice on the way to the ER. I'm very lucky to be alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 07:40 PM
40

Do you remember when shit like this still surprised you? I barely do. Also: Yokoonoyes, this happened to me too so I absolutely believe this. And I tried to CoMmUnIcAtE and made excuses, saying I was truly depressed and so it couldn't be his fault - I was overreacting etc., till he actually succeeded in making me overdose to get away from my life (well, mostly him, but my life was so shit with the abuse...anyways).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 02:33 PM
140

Ooooh. Is he just banking on nobody actlooking at the picture? Also - what's with guys always taking THE WORST selfies with tons of messy shit everywhere? Like yeah, you put no thought into this photo at all, sir.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:32 PM
17

I'm a bit confused
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:58 PM
182

Pin the red flag on the donkey! My favorite game! poly (wife probably doesn't know they're poly) nerd (I'm a nerd, so I know) gamer (fuck no) IT (this could mean anything from programmer to "I work at Best Buy") 3 kids but has time for multiple women (?! Poor wife) picture from a low angle - baaaad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:18 PM
30

God, that poor child. I wish we could save her. I wish I could talk to her aunt. Mike is absolutely disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:49 PM
42

I love men. I am in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man. He actually treats me well - like an equal, like I matter. We have an extremely tight bond, and I know I can trust him. But I got him using FDS strategies. I sorted through men, and vetted them. I went on hundreds of dates (hardly an incel) and had hundreds of messages. I was just EXTREMELY picky. And it got me someone I'm actually compatible with. How is that hateful? Me: I need a guy who answers texts in a timely fashion. I nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:24 PM
55

Can confirm, only like one idiot saying she is in the wrong
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 07:57 PM
6

I am dying laughing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 07:31 PM
31

My partner is the same way. I remember going out one St Patricks day with our friends and he kept bringing me drinks and water while I chatted with my girl friends - the entire night. On the way back to his house, he made a point to get me gatorade, tylenol etc in case I needed it. It is something else being loved by a truly good man. Those small things - making sure I stayed hydrated so I wouldn't get a migraine or hangover the next day, actively improving my life - add up to something big.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 07:42 PM
7

I can't express my horror at that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:36 PM
10

NO. You are kidding me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:33 PM
3

OOOH that frosting job is amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 11:50 AM
48

My heart broke for her. She won't get that happiness back. I hope she found something else to be cute and happy about. Those little things we do to be happy mean so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:28 PM
188

I'm glad Ms Frizzle broke up with him. Imagine being that cool of a teacher and having your weird childish buffoon of a boyfriend make you feel like shit for engaging your students and having fun. Reminds me of the guy who broke his girlfriend's Mason jars because he thought they were stupid and wondered why she couldn't just drink out of a cup like a normal person. Girlfriend had this whole ritual of drinking out of Mason jars, made juices and had a lot of fun with it and the douche had to ruin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:22 PM
475

A woman's place is in the kitchen? Well your place is tending a herd of cows after building a barn by hand. Let's go, Jebediah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:50 PM
124

God. I feel so sorry for her. She'll learn about life the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 08:24 PM
101

...there's a theme song? I've never heard it. I guess that's good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 11:24 PM
8

I hope to god he gets no matches. Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:21 PM
1

Anything by Isabel Allende....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 05:56 PM
46

*waves* Hi Steve! We're better than you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 01:43 PM
150

Such a sweet kid! No reason for sexualizing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 01:39 PM
33

*grabs popcorn* Oh dish dish dish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:38 PM
64

Because they're weak. Because they're cowards. Because they "don't want to be the bad guy". Because they have bad reasoning. Because they're moving on with another woman. Because they are gay (once with me, wish I was joking and found out four months after we broke up in their insta posts). Because they want to be mean. Because they want to make you feel crazy. Because holding back information makes them feel powerful. Because they can. Closure can only come from within. They have nothing to do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:30 PM
23

So gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:52 AM
31

Honestly why not just report this. They're soliciting a professional service, not looking for "love".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 06:28 PM
50

Animal Crossing was worth every cent I didn't pay for it (he bought me the switch and game lol). I wouldn't have made it through quarantine without it. I'm dead serious. Visiting my friends islands, building my own, having control over something while everything else spun wildly out of control - god, it has been perfect. For a few hours a week I could find peace and happiness. Tia and Roald kept me sane. Sorry...going on a tangent. I fucking love Animal Crossing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 05:29 PM
89

Oof. Them feels. This happens even once, delete him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 01:17 AM
63

Oh of course not lmao. I got out of there using a lifeline text from a friend, and blocked him the second I was off on the "emergency". I only stayed as long as I did because I was legitimately looking for a book I wanted lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:37 PM
176

Oh god that reminds me of my date from hell. Went to a bookstore + coffee date. He said we could pick out books for each other. He gave me an expired bottled Starbucks frapp drink at room temperature from his crusty backpack, and asked me to buy him a manga collection since he didn't have money. And the books he picked for me were shitty. He told me he just lost his job, he didn't let me talk at all (I said 3 sentences). I couldn't leave fast enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 03:30 PM
10

...they are not happy lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:45 AM
28

Oh. So one day a year? That's what we get? Methinks not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:44 PM
114

But leaving him is something she won't do. It'll get worse before it gets better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:11 PM
183

Bottle of wine, looks like charcuterie. Cute date if you're already in a relationship. This shouldn't be a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:44 AM
23

You win
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 07:18 PM
4

the guy in the middle...yikes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:13 PM
5

I did a spit take
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:56 PM
11

Ladies, ladies! No pushing, get in line! I know hard boiled eggs are the fucking best but we have to have order here. My panties are just as wet as y'alls! FORM A LINE /massive sarcasm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:52 PM
11

I love that the image was blurred so I would have to click to look lmao That's hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:32 PM
17

Lmao yes 3% Swedish 3% Norwegian 37% Scottish...I know what happened. Ol' Gwen Thistlebottom saw Olaf Magnuson and was like "wow no body odor! 10/10 would have his clean babies". And so the wars between hygiene and man-stench began.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:22 PM
10

Oh that is just too cute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:29 PM
44

I couldn't block fast enough if that happened to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:24 PM
8

At least he didn't get mad she wouldn't sleep in the nest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:24 PM
10

Why are they all Gary lmao I love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:30 PM
86

This sounds wonderful. You might have found a good man. Keep vetting, don't let him slide on anything, and keep your standards high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:29 PM
2

Absolute facts y'all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:54 PM
24

Maybe the problem is HIM. I mean...I'm no Sherlock, but if he's getting those responses...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:46 PM
1

So I had an ex that would do that to me. He would disappear and I wouldn't hear from him for several days at a time. He would go so far as to turn his phone off. I can't tell you how stressed and crazy I would feel after days of not hearing from him. "I was sleeping, you worry too much." Bullshit. He liked doing that to me. And then he wouldn't do it again until two months or so passed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:04 PM
123

Lmao I did this with my fiance 😆 I was actively dating on a rotation and didn't save any of the guys, just blocked when they annoyed me or didn't meet the standards. Highly recommend. They don't get names till they prove themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:55 PM
77

I almost instinctively down-voted. I am sorry. This made me cringe and scowl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 11:40 AM
16

My fiance is 5'1" and he's amazing. Being short has never been a deal breaker for me, but I'm also very short myself. I prefer shorter guys for the most part - I was bullied in high school by tall guys for being so short, and the guys nicest to me were shorter. It's really weird if you think about it because that isn't generally the case and I might have just had the most unique experience in that regard. I've not heard of any other girls being bullied like that, anyways. I totally get why women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 11:46 AM
2

Best part of this thread is people referencing N*Sync and Backstreet Boys 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 10:19 AM
11

Backstreets back ALRIGHT! Looks like a boyband member. I would feel so nostalgic and then weirded out a man my age was posing like that lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:18 AM
2

Booty call texts are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:14 PM
10

It definitely isn't flattering. Block and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:06 PM
18

Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 01:43 PM
111

Godddd this is my fiance. He's been with me every step of the way with my own chronic illness. These wonderful humans exist. We all deserve one. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:42 PM
33

Godddd I would be so pissed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:04 PM
6

I don't think this was an early stage date though - maybe it was, and if so it's low value, sure. But an established couple should be able to do this. There is not a whole lot I'm comfortable doing with covid 19 and the lockdowns in my area/my own health concerns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:48 PM
16

I haven't eaten in a restaurant since February. I won't risk it. I'm in a high-risk area and I have high-risk health factors (autoimmune). So I've been going on thoughtful dates that aren't restaurant based. I know a lot of women here have extremely high standards and that is awesome - but my choices are eat at home and be at home forever, or find something to do social distanced. We've gone on picnics, road trips where we know people aren't going to be, we've star-gazed, made a blanket fort, pl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:46 PM
7

Blanket forts are amazing! And it's even better as an adult because you can hook up a tv in it, make it cozy with lighting etc. I would think she had been on several dates with him as well to get to that level. And that's kind of why I'm giving it a pass, and even think it might be a good date. Once you've been together a while, things like that are sweet and fun IMHO. We can all have our preferences and what kind of dates we love or think are low value. A cute date my fiance took me on recently…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:19 PM
128

Like - my fiance made us a blanket fort one day. I was really depressed about never going out and everything always being the same while we were furloughed. So he made us a blanket fort. It sounds silly and childish but it was FUN, it changed the scenery, it felt very comforting to be enclosed in a warm, blankety space. It improved my mood immensely. Is that a HVM date? No, don't go over to someone's house for a blanket fort date. Is it even something to brag about? No...not really, blanket fort…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:27 PM
131

I think this COULD be a HVM date - if you mentioned how much you miss movies, but all the theaters are closed during the pandemic (only drive-ins are open near me). If you miss dressing up to go out, but everything is closed except take out (my area, still!!). If your favorite food is pizza. I can see this being a really thoughtful date. Like, in the time of covid, we have to make our own rules and what is/isn't acceptable. In a long lasting relationship, you aren't going to be eating caviar and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:22 PM
8

Yeah, that's the real problem here - not being able to switch it off. I would rather not have to do gray rock at all. I find people talking to me outside of work and I just zone out. It's really rude and I try to be present but it's just so automatic now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:56 PM
16

Oh, definitely. I wasn't knocking the rest of the collage or the mindset/intention behind it. We women always get the short end of the stick, are treated terribly, and have to meet impossible standards. The rest of those men are gross and some of them victimized women and deserve to be scrutinized and laughed at - I guess Brendan just hits me different, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:53 PM
62

Brendan Fraser shouldn't be here though - he was sexually assaulted (by a man, and it ruined his career) and had a series of terrible accidents, surgeries, deaths and circumstances that led him here. The rest are gross and terrible men, but I actually feel for Brendan Fraser. From what I can tell he has always been a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:34 PM
13

That seems like a very obvious solution now that I'm thinking about it. I'm going to ask about it tomorrow for sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:18 PM
12

We work in a very small office - there isn't anywhere else for me to go, there's four desks in the room. I've asked him to respect my "quiet hours" before when I'm crunching on a deadline, and that hasn't really worked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:15 PM
11

I don't like the idea of making up a disability (I have a real one in migraines/autoimmune) but I might ask to use headphones, that's a decent solution. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:13 PM
10

No, I'm gray rocking someone else who will not shut up lol. I made a post. I kind of want to know how to snap out of it when I get home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 05:58 PM
7

Wow. Gray rock...I wonder if that's what's going on with me lately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 05:51 PM
13

Sexuality is not a choice else we'd all choose to be lesbians lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:27 PM
1

That's very fair! The way I rate is probably weird for most lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:57 PM
4

So in the great pie chart in the sky I would say it's probably worth about 30% of my total relationship "score". It isn't the most important thing but if he's negligent in other ways too then obviously dumping makes the most sense. Failing marks in sex could bring the score to the 70's, and nobody wants a C- relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:44 PM
7

Yeah, I can't deal with smoking. I have chronic migraines and even the slightest amount of smoke scent will trigger one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 03:58 PM
1

Hey ladies. I'm having a really hard time emotionally, lately. I have chronic migraines/autoimmune condition and it is getting so difficult to even want to exist right now. I gave in and told my fiance when I was crying last night what I'd been thinking and how bad it was. I don't really know why I'm posting. I'm extremely depressed with the state of the world, and my health. I'm living in chronic pain and I just can't anymore. :( Anyone relate to that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:47 PM
68

Sounds about like what is happening now tbh. I know a lot of highly educated, intelligent people who aren't having kids. I know a lot of people who barely graduated/didn't graduate high school who have had 5-6 kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 12:56 PM
67

I used to get asked by partners all the time and it was always a red flag. Nobody was ever happy with the answer - too low, too high. Men are ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:39 PM
51

Thank you. I hate it when I see women in the pain community talk about how their SO's are pieces of shit. If they acknowledge the pain, they minimize it. Most of the time they still expect 50/50 (so 90/10) on housework even during a flare; most of the time they still expect 50/50 (90/10) on child care; most of the time they still expect 50/50 (90/10) on expenses KNOWING you were sick and out of work an entire week so your dollars don't stretch the same way. "But I don't deserve anyone better" bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:37 PM
64

Thank you. I just read through one of those posts and while I get it, some women are still learning and we were all babies once...JUST BLOCK. Don't waste your time or energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:30 PM
8

Yeah, no. Just let it go, block and move on. He is going to argue every single tiny detail of your lives like this and say "weeeeell technicallyyyy".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:28 PM
4

I can relate to this so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:41 PM
22

I actually wrote a long essay about her for a philosphy group I was in. Love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:16 PM
4

I'll never understand why people make posts before they leave somewhere. If you're that mad, just leave. I support women but I don't do it blindly. In the public sphere: I'm not going to vote for say, Sarah Palin just because she has ovaries and a vagina. I'm not going to support Amy Coney Barrett getting a justice seat because she is AGAINST women in a lot of ways. I'm not going to get Betsy DeVos a free pass because she's a career woman when her aims destroy the futures of poor women and POC i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:17 PM
101

He was trying to get his rocks off. No good conversations happen on dating apps past 8pm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:43 PM
14

Hahahaha That's a good one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:40 PM
78

So...the police aren't our friends. But in times like this, what else can you do? All those men think this is funny. It's fucking terrifying. I hope she got home ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:20 PM
24

I...don't even know what to say
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:43 AM
7

Lolol his disciples!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 08:06 PM
48

Right? First thing I want to do when I wake up is brush my teeth lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:15 PM
25

The Red Pill
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:39 PM
258

"Good luck finding someone that brushes their teeth ONCE a day. Your standards are impossibly high, and you're nagging. Mens teeth are naturally gross, stop trying to change me."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:36 PM
5

Not me, but a girl posted to r/relationship_advice about how her boyfriend logged into her animal crossing game and picked all her flowers, sold all her decorations and moved out her favorite villager when they were fighting. I was SHOOK. Plenty of people in the comments were like "that isn't a big deal, just talk to him" but it was so petty and cruel I told her to get out fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:41 PM
13

Welcome. I am so glad you found us. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:53 PM
6

Well we aren't supposed to seek validation from men. We get it from ourselves. Usually by the time we've matured and grown wise to the low-level fuck boy ways is when they go "huh y'all are just old" and the LVM go after younger women to exploit their naivete and innocence, which in turn creates more women who get tired of LVM and go "eww" when they wise up and see LVM going after young girls again. It's the circle of life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:18 PM
64

Imagine being this man. Always wrong about everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:41 PM
218

Women actually do have testosterone, just less than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:04 PM
25

This is the truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:37 PM
215

I think it reversed for me. I was the 30's in my twenties and now the standards are so high I'd dump for the smallest reason 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:32 PM
47

I'm loving my thirties! I found my fiance when I was 29. Can confirm, by 28 I was done with men's nonsense and just noped at the first sign of idiocy or LVM-ness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:38 PM
2

Palpatine pause Not from a pickme...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:35 PM
20

Yeah, the man isn't going to do shit in this scenario. It will be 100% the women co-parenting. He gets to sit on his ass like the spoiled man-child he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:29 PM
80

That's so gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:54 AM
70

I don't want to blame the mom, but how do you let yourself date and get pregnant by a man who has four other exes/mothers of his kids? How do you not require a condom? How are you not on adequate birth control and why did you not vet him? She needs FDS and so do all the rest of his children's moms. He's always going to be a sperm spreader and a poor excuse for a father. You can't successfully parent kids who live in four different households - and moreover, you can't even PAY for them adequately…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:34 PM
92

Ok, newborns need MORE so he's stupid-stupid. How do you have four other kids and not know this? Lemme guess. He wasn't around for any of them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:26 PM
109

I don't even understand what he said or meant with his original statement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:19 PM
4

Can confirm it is both a stupid excuse and a reality in a bunch of places. My mom lives in an area with no cell reception whatsoever and no data reaches her either. I have to put my phone on airplane mode when I go to visit her just so my my phone doesn't lose all its charge in 1 hour trying to find a signal. She lives in the US. She also can't get or receive phone calls unless she goes a bit further up the driveway from her house. Usually when guys say this it's a lie, but I at least know it's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:29 PM
200

This is why we don't date ancient men, y'all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:29 PM
103

Poor thing. As if it's her fault for being a young girl instead of his for being a pedophile. It's like they're saying "obviously she's in the wrong, who could resist a "sexy" child!" Kinda want to throw up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 04:51 PM
0

It's art, but it doesn't taste good. The aim is to make it look amazing (and it does), not to make an edible product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 04:00 AM
10

And talent, and money. I've never had "good" fondant even from the best bakeries. I don't understand making something that can't be eaten and enjoyed. I don't wanna take a bunch of modeling clay off a cake before I eat it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:21 PM
5

Read the handbook. And no walking dates. No free dates at all. He sounds...no. Just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:06 PM
29

My thoughts exactly! Why eat a cake if it tastes gross? This is art, no doubt there, but I hate how fondant tastes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:00 PM
6

I love a Knights Tale. It's so good!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 08:26 PM
13

Oh god do it do it 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 08:20 PM
35

"That's my gift...?" Sounds like it's your curse. I know a lot of women like this who bitch about married life even on their anniversaries. "Being married to you isn't always fun, and I yell a lot about your dirty clothes but I love you and wouldn't have it any other way! Happy four years!" Like honey, you're just trying to convince yourself. It looks SAD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:05 PM
15

"Convince" is in quotes because he won't actually be convinced. Just wants sex and to go "well maybe..." for the next ten years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:13 PM
8

It wasn't even the worst thing that happened to me during that time - but this was done by a total stranger. I never even said anything to him besides yelling at him once he assaulted me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 07:35 PM
21

I was clubbing with my friends on one of their 21st birthdays (mistake). We were just dancing with each other. Nobody was trying to get any male attention - three had boyfriends, one was engaged, I was single at the time. This group of men started ogling us, and we all just kept dancing closer to each other in a circle. One of the men came over and started trying to dance with me. I shook him off, and then he grabbed me and stuck his hands up my skirt and suddenly was fingering me. I stomped on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:06 PM
2

My thoughts exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:58 PM
8

Hahaha I love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:22 AM
6

So cute :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:10 PM
2

Same here. It is absolutely a way to show love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:59 PM
6

The exposure is higher in the profile picture than in real life. Obviously. But that's definitely the same woman and she looks gorgeous either way. His beard issues need fixed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:11 PM
5

Right? I thought this was actually really sweet. My bf too has learned to cook things the way I like them and surprises me with my favorite meals. I do kind of expect his effort but that's because he's a HVM. Just because I expect it doesn't make it less valuable or kind when he does it. TONS of guys wouldn't do the bare minimum, we know that. What's wrong with showing how you should treat your significant other? Even if it is "basic"? What's wrong with being happy that your partner is trying to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:58 PM
22

"Punctuality turns me on" ok who wants to do that though? Bumble is probably the worst site, ugh. Scratch that, they're all the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:43 PM
9

DrAmA fReEeEeE Yeah ok buddy. I bet all your exes are "crazy" and "so much drama" aka you act a fool, gaslight them to insanity, have a female best friend who you slept with but OH MY GOD IT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO and sure she still likes to come over and cuddle and drink late at night but if you were a secure woman you wouldn't care, god you're a nut! Oh and my phone broke cause it fell in the hot tub/strippers lap. Wait I can't see a strip show? I mean the last time I hooked up with a stripper was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:44 PM
92

Eww I love opals but that ring is fucking hideous. And drew it on her finger? It doesn't even look like the same ring for one, but for another just eww. I understand being poor but there's no excuse for something so trashy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:34 PM
7

I did that on my 30th birthday. It was the best present to myself. So glad you did it :) happy birthday
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:01 PM
69

There's a difference between holding an "unpopular belief" and actively striving to hold women in poverty just because of your own twisted "morals". The US has one of the highest mother mortality rates in the developed world - Iran treats mothers better. The US has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the developed world - have a baby in Bosnia or Slovakia and it'll be safer. You'll also be more likely to live in poverty as a mother in the US than anywhere in the developed world; more li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:24 PM
40

If their date was already that contentious, better to pay fast and move on. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:12 PM
43

WOW-wie! He's got some issues. Why post an interesting photo if you're gonna be mad people ask about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:27 PM
37

*This guys is a troll and has posted millions of times on reddit about his fetish* I'm not kidding. He's constantly in the relationship advice sub. One day I found 10 posts all on different accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:42 PM
6

And that's a perfectly acceptable date. Walking in a park is not. There are options out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:16 PM
3

At 25, three years either direction is fine. More than that and you're setting yourself up to get abused or taken advantage of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:43 PM
17

A "walking date" where the guy still makes an effort is ok. If he says "let's go to the waterfront and have a picnic and rent kayaks so we can socially distance on the water and I'll buy you flowers" - yes, fine. Effort. "Let's go to the park and walk for 15 minutes. I was going there anyways with my dog." - not fine, no effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:41 PM
11

12 year age gap? No honey, that is not the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:25 PM
5

My HVM bf seems like INFJ. I am INTJ mostly, so it works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:09 PM
28

That's hilarious haha Really though, I'm pro prenuptial agreement. It's something I'm getting done. It can protect our assets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:29 PM
15

Yeah, that's pretty disgusting of him. God, some of these men are just...I have no words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:22 PM
30

Yes, men are like this. She dodged a huge bullet. I personally loved it when men did something like that. Showed me any further contact would have been fruitless, and they did me a favor. When you have 500 messages it helps if they weed themselves out. Plus it taught me certain patterns and behaviors men did when they were going to waste my time, lol. Maybe I'm weird but I always was kinda happy when shit like this happened. One down, 310 to go. Woot. ETA: I had a very positive outlook on dating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:08 PM
51

I also want to point out two things that are red flags here. Future faking - "He discusses the future as if I will be his wife". Pretty words, cheap and empty. Future faking and love bombing keep you interested and hopeful. Don't believe words. Believe action. What was his action? Well...It was yours. "I asked how he felt about dating exclusively." So YOU were the one who started the Define The Relationship conversation. This is a no-no. The reason women do this is because the men aren't interes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:01 PM
86

Eh, if he wants kids of his own I can understand it. Some people just DO want biological kids. It might be irrational, but that's their prerogative and it doesn't reflect anything but their own wants. At least he ruled himself out fast. I'm assuming this is in the first few messages? Don't be insulted by it, I wouldn't be. It's just the elimination that would have inevitably happened and you will find someone who doesn't care about something that dumb one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:54 PM
67

He is 42 years old // he's afraid of the title Titles aren't scary. He just doesn't want you. Well - he wants you, but only temporarily. He doesn't want a relationship, period. He SHOULD have worked through his "shit", as you put it. Don't accept an excuse this pathetic from a 42 year old man. This barely works for a 20 year old boy - and even then, should only work on a pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:48 PM
7

Oh you didn't see the video of the woman cleaning her dates shoes for him, did you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:52 AM
23

I don't have to work to impress men. I just...do. I remember being in a major city and within an hour of signing up on a dating app I had 500 messages in my inbox. Why do I have to initiate any conversation when I have 500 men trying desperately to get my attention? Nahhhhh...not happening. They just don't understand that we have such a different experience. There's no incentive for me to start a conversation and moreover - no time to start a conversation first. So I go after the one guy in 25 s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:48 AM
3

Actual cab companies are also a lot worse at getting to you to pick you up. I can't tell you how many times I called for a cab and would still be waiting an hour later and have to call again. It was annoying. Ride shares seemed like such a good idea at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:38 AM
14

I disagree that she deserves it. How many of us were like this at one point? Told we had to settle? We asked friends for advice, "yeah it's totally normal! Don't be a gold digger!" She deserves to be treated properly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:34 AM
116

It's just insulting to put in all the effort it takes to get ready and look nice (haircut, makeup, cute outfit, shoes, purse) and then get taken out to split a coffee. Wow, I spent 3 hours getting ready so I could "impress" you. And you think I'm after you for your money you spend on coffee? Really dude? They want us to look beautiful and instagram ready. I ain't doing all that for a coffee. I get coffee every day by myself. You're going to get the messy bun, jeans and t-shirt on my way to run e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:46 PM
8

Some idiot tried to comment that the shirt is naturally wrinkled because it is linen. Ah yes. If only there was something called an IRON that you can use to get wrinkles out of shirts. Would you go to a job interview looking like this? No. No, you wouldn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:25 PM
13

THE NEST
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 01:08 PM
138

Could his shirt BE any more wrinkled?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:07 PM
2

I'm a cancer and do that too haha I didn't know virgos were that way :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:56 PM
3

This sounds like my relationship. I've been back in the office for a few months now, but he hasn't and besides me going back and forth to work we've barely left the house. I'm normally an introvert but I have a lot of anxiety that causes control issues so this was hard on me. What I mean - I like the OPTION of going to do whatever I want. I like taking myself out to eat. I like treating myself to haircuts and spa dates. I like hanging out with my friends and having girl time. My options were gon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:53 PM
6

Unlike those women who don't obey their man, I love God. #girlboss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:20 PM
20

<3 I've been there too. You aren't alone. I'm truly sorry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:48 PM
44

"Gosh I am so enlightened because I like a certain type of guy!" No, you just like a certain type of guy. There's no need to announce your preferences to the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 05:26 PM
54

I hate it because if it's a baby, it means they either 1) had a fling and weren't responsible or 2) they did something so fucked up a hormonal woman doesn't want them in her life even after a child. It takes a lot for a woman to dump a man, even more if you have a kid with him - especially the baby is 5-6months old tops. So no thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:35 PM
11

Yes and no. I'm an atheist and so I only dated atheists (I really don't like any religion due to my upbringing). I consider myself an agnostic atheist - meaning I don't KNOW if there's any kind of higher power, but I have rejected all the ones I've heard about. I've met some insufferable douches, but I'm also kind of an insufferable douche when it comes to religion and spirituality so it's kind of fine. Once you talk about religion a few times with your atheist friends, it doesn't come up in eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:53 PM
44

Don't listen to male friends talk about anything. Seriously. They're full of bad opinions and farts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:23 PM
32

He is so rude. Don't even talk to him anymore - block him. He isn't worth your time, acting like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:17 PM
9

Yup. I personally like OLD because you can filter them out so much easier. Probably 99% of the guys are "fails", but I'm only looking for one potential partner so it doesn't matter. Just vet, vet, vet, vet, vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:52 PM
3

Pass/Fail. I don't rate them. I just go "oh yes" or "oh god no". I do have a specific "type" - slender yet muscular, 5"0 - 5"5 (I like kissing someone close to my own height, NGL), brown or dark hair, brown eyes, dimples. I prefer short curly hair, no facial hair but scruff is fine. I've dated white guys, Black guys, Asian guys and Latino guys but they all fit this specific formula. If you put them all in a room together you'd know why they were there lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:46 PM
6

Who is arguing that droning 16 year olds is ethical and wonderful? Ain't me. We can care about saving the polar bears, halting war crimes, women's rights and BLM all at the same time. It isn't like we should only care about one issue at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:01 PM
26

Scorpio, poly, herpes...wow what a damn catch. Sounds like one of my exes except somehow more disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:56 PM
11

"Simp"? Used unironically by a "grown man"? Yeah, throw him out. These men truly are pathetic. Shame she refuses to see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:35 PM
21

Jesus. Imagine being like this...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:51 PM
5

I'm not defending it by any means, people were asking what the justification was and I was trying to give the one that they have out there. Personally I think anyone over age having sex with a minor should probably be locked up forever - let alone on a sex offender registry - but I was just relaying what I'd read on it. Just some bullshit about "gotta be fair!" when the crime is so heinous being fair/not discriminatory is not something I care about. Add everyone automatically to the registry, wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 04:07 PM
14

Right...that's what I said. I don't agree with it. They were trying to make things "fair" but did something really dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 03:59 PM
27

So the bill is intended to give gay defendants the same rights that straight defendants have when it comes to being on the registry. Oral/anal sex (aka gay sex) - automatically on the registry. Penis/vagina sex - up to the judge's discretion. I don't agree with it, I think anyone having sex with a minor is a sex offender, but it isn't quite what it's been made out to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:53 PM
9

I remember him! I had some messages from him a few months ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:17 AM
6

Bye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:16 PM
12

I have as well, but I had a lot of strategies and filters in place and I have mo problem ignoring or blocking someone...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:18 AM
39

I don't personally, but there are a lot of women who (rightfully) avoid it because of the proliferation of less than desirable men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:12 AM
15

Don't even talk to him again unless you have children and even then only talk about the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:35 AM
25

Ah yes, when he can't even grunt "wanna bang" there's an option for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:00 PM
22

This is gross. eww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:22 PM
3

I'm completely myself around my current, and it's the first time. I just don't have the patience to put on any kind of an act. He loves the real me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:46 PM
99

How was she the villain again? I stan a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:29 AM
22

Lizards are so cool though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:58 PM
213

I reflexively went to downvote this abysmal take but I don't wanna downvote you lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:41 PM
32

Don't do this again, for one. And just block him. He isn't worth your time. Best luck going forward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:14 PM
24

The only cheese I've ever seen on authentic tacos is the crumbly hard white cheese (not oaxaca, the other one?). American tex-mex tacos have cheese. You can't go to a self-respecting taqueria and get cheese on them. Meat, cilantro, onions, slice of lime and their house salsas on the side. That's an authentic taco.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:53 PM
5

The zoo you're talking about is actually a really good place to go for a 10th or so date. They had wine and paint night with the animals one year that I went - it was such a good activity. Don't go during the weekend mornings or afternoons, but the activities for later on at night and the galas are amazing. (Also pricier).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:47 PM
9

Lmao you know it has to be true too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:43 PM
2

Gosh, I'm sorry your parents were alcoholics. I'm sure that was hard. I know just from living with an alcoholic boyfriend (NEVER AGAIN) that it is incredibly difficult to live a healthy life. I can't even tell you how bad it was. He had a breathalyzer attached to his car - he couldn't start his car unless he blew into it. He had spent three months in jail for it before he met me. Background checks are your friend, I learned my lesson there too. I learned all my dating lessons from dating this on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:35 PM
16

I dated so many alcoholics I met in bars back in the day. Being sober has become incredibly important to me - it's a deal-breaker to date a drinker. Alcoholism cripples every aspect of someone's life. You lucked out and I am happy for you, but being inebriated could lower (maybe just my experience!) standards and open the door to accepting LV behavior. I dated three different men who either lost their jobs or licenses due to alcoholism before I wised up about it. IDK, I could be extremely biased…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:21 PM
40

"" I go to the bar "" I tried that and only ever found alcoholics and abusers. I personally like dating apps because you can filter them out. If you go to a bar, you're drinking. Your judgement is impaired. You "hit it off" and aren't objective. There is effectively no filter in that scenario. I would never encourage someone to meet someone at a bar. It's downright dangerous too. Edit to add: Meeting HVM in real life IS possible and IS one of the best ways to do it, but bars are just not a good …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:04 PM
8

Just being LVM, never grew out of the party and frat boy stage of life. They think it's a personality. ETA: I also think it's a LVM thing because I dated guys in three different cities/states. Northern city, southern city, mountain city. They all were the same way regardless of political beliefs, environment, or community. I mean, the common denominator was me but I'm not gonna blame myself for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:20 PM
29

Yeah, I made substance use into a dealbreaker when I started dating with purpose. I dated too many "I'm not an alcoholic! I just like alcohol" type men for me to want that any more. It was insanely difficult to find someone who didn't want to use substances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:14 PM
114

Ah yes, love is creepy. I forgot that because I wasn't dropped on my head repeatedly as an infant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:24 PM
10

Completely off topic: are there any women here who have chronic autoimmune/other chronic conditions? I'm trying to stay attractive and healthy, and the constant sickness is keeping me from my goals. How do y'all go about maintaining yourselves as HVW when your body is fighting you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:43 AM
21

recommended just for you Excuse me, app algorithm programmer, I think you got me alllll fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 10:28 PM
7

Sure, that's true. I'm really awkward over the phone with new people (something I've had to work on) but to each their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:29 PM
5

I don't like phone calls in general but to each their own lol. I only call my mom, dad, siblings on the phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:53 PM
14

I wouldn't call it pickme, but it's...idk, something is off. I would take it down. You might get guys reassuring you that they also take precautions (and they don't) just trying to score points with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:52 PM
38

Someone else already pointed it out, but you can't tell if someone is an HVM even if they appear to be on paper. Especially on a first date. Do you just mean rich? That doesn't make someone a HVM. Jeffrey Epstein was rich and definitely wasn't one. All you know on a first date is that they didn't strike out as an obvious LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:15 PM
11

Rare, but it happens. I've dated two - my current partner, and one who died of cancer in 2012. I've come across hundreds of LVM and dated...gosh. 20? Given them at least 2-3 dates before I gave up. I've been in a relationship with 5 different LVM as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 10:56 AM
5

Define the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:03 PM
21

Don't continue seeing them if you exclusivity and they don't. It looks desperate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:42 PM
28

This has to be another troll attempt. Why...are you here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:41 PM
6

We don't do this. You look really desperate and that's not a good look. Please read the handbook, you need it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:39 PM
12

Mine doesn't watch porn, and took me on dates until covid. Now we have cute home dates. He still puts in effort even at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:31 PM
10

I don't get it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:02 PM
12

Sounds like bare minimums to me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:04 PM
11

How far away are you from the next town over? Is the next town over bigger or smaller? I used to date men from different cities/ towns within a 45 minute drive of me. I never had casual sex, but I wanted to make sure none of them knew each other (or me or mutual friends) for reasons. They'd have to meet me where I felt comfortable, in my own city, but yeah...lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:57 PM
35

I hate driving, so mine always does. No to inappropriate touching in public - wtf? Why would that be ok? He should respect you enough not to do that. Hand holding is fine, hugging fine, butt slapping HELL NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:03 PM
13

Hmm, this seems a bit reductive but I do kinda agree. I think it's fine to like certain things and experiences. However when you let them define who you are, there's a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:49 PM
19

Well, I was on one because it helped me tremendously to narrow down the prospects. I live in a red state and under no circumstances did I want a Republican partner. Meeting people "in the wild" was only netting me Republicans and just...no thanks. So to give myself a fair shot I went online and got lucky. In this area there were a lot more liberal men online who wanted to find a liberal woman so...yeah. I never would have met my fiance without it. If you're using OLD right and being exceptionall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:51 PM
30

I know you don't want to hear this, but the best way to boost your self esteem? Stop talking to him. Dump him. Just "seeing" for two years? Not fiance? Not even boyfriend? Hon, you know something is off. Listen to that voice. At worst he's cheating on you and at best he isn't doing something right to assuage your fears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:11 AM
6

I mean I love the zoo and have a yearly membership (local zoo even has Oktoberfest activities, painting, cocktails, a holiday light festival etc lol) but if that's not your speed it's pretty insulting. It sounds like y'all aren't on the same level. He's put no thought into your birthday, didn't consider what you'd want, and is leaving all the planning up to you. That's low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:36 PM
2

So beautiful! Treat yourself :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:26 PM
107

Lock that man down, he's such a good boy. Yes he is! Yes he is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:52 PM
62

He probably wanted to hook up with you and that's why he mentioned no hookups for the past year... Sometimes they can be manipulative like that. Idk, I wasn't there, but that might have been his game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:55 AM
3

Has to be. I mean I hate pedophiles as much as the next person but WTF is this doing here? Pedophilia isn't common in women to begin with and especially not women like us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:27 PM
6

!? What on earth. Does this have to be said here, of all places?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:23 PM
285

535: Failed experiment. Quarantine and possible euthanasia recommended before it infects others. Sadly, the lab rat failed to properly socialize and thinks it's genitalia is the only thing it needs to acquire a mate. Disheartening progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:27 AM
9

It's entirely up to you how you want to date. I always assumed the men I was dating were also multi dating. It's up to you to draw your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:05 PM
4

Yeah, that makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:57 AM
38

Yes, yes it is. More than that - it's worse than you think. I've only known a handful of truly respectful men. Now - I think that the loudest men are going to be the ones you remember, just like the bad dreams are the ones you remember. I've probably had countless interactions with "good" men that I can't remember because the ones where they call me names or act like I'm crazy stand out so much more.
/r/askFDS24/08/20 04:43 PM
8

First of all, I hope you're doing much better with your autoimmune condition. I'm in the beginning of my journey there and I just want to commiserate on how hard it is to deal with steroid weight gain/swollen joints/sudden weight loss/pain etc. It's extremely hard to want to look attractive when you're just trying not to throw up constantly. Second of all, I think it's important for you to recognize what you want in a man BEFORE you go online dating. I recommend thinking about every little thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:32 PM
32

That's waaaaay too soon for that. Something isn't quite right. ETA: wait, also asking you to move in? After a month? No way. No no no. That's so fast it's giving me whiplash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 03:24 PM
5

How...she is literally the perfect woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:03 PM
34

The only way to win is to stop playing. Block, move on, delete, cleanse your chakras and buy yourself a new cute dress - do anything it takes to rid yourself of this drain. You'll be glad you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:06 PM
265

Wow. "Not sure I see us long term" yet you decided to put your dick in her, and got her pregnant. This is why we have to vet, vet, vet before we ever have sex. Dollars to doughnuts had she waited even an extra week before having sex he wouldn't be in her life now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:01 PM
17

Meet at the dog park for the dog but I wouldn't do that as a "date". That needs to be something you do on your way to yoga/brunch, quick 20 minute fetch and flirt session.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:30 AM
10

Yeah, LVM incarnate. Block and move on, you already spent too much time on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:27 AM
171

This guy actually raped her. How horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:21 AM
16

They're immensely more enlightened because they've conditioned and brainwashed their partners into accepting less than they deserve. Usually these people are manipulative jerks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:28 PM
5

I tried to comment but it got deleted but: I wish you well, m00nflam3. I would tell my sister that what she was doing was harmful and dangerous and try to help her make better decisions. I don't see this as being mean or rude. I think we need to encourage each other to stay at a different level. Why would we condone you doing something that could get you assaulted? Why would we condone you doing something that's going to inevitably lead to emotional or physical pain? I sure won't do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:22 PM
22

Condescending much? It isn't mind-blowing, it's sad and gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:08 PM
67

Back off, get busy with something else, and let him try harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:41 PM
15

Oh dang! It's cute lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:49 PM
14

OK but where can I get the creator code for that ACNH wedding dress? I have a mighty need!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:18 PM
41

Generational abuse as a learned behavior, for sure. My mom was abused; her mother was abused; I was abused. I've learned enough to break the cycle for myself and I'm not having children, so it definitely is stopping with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:27 AM
15

? Confused
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:08 PM
23

I never comment or up/downvote on posts I see cross posted from here just to avoid that! They get soooooo salty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:54 PM
40

Came here to say this about the lie about the gold digger ex. I bet she wouldn't sign some f*d up paper just like this and thus! Is a gold digger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:17 PM
63

"Vibe" is such a LVM word. I feel grossed out whenever I see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:12 PM
5

I saw my bf one day a week the first 6 months, then two/three days a week the next year or so after that, then moved in with him (against FDS policy, I'm sorry y'all) at around the two year mark. It really depends on you and what you want; you have to figure out what works best for YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:11 PM
108

He says he's 32, which means he's probably 38. Why lie about this at all?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:56 PM
14

If we're a hate group I'm cool with that. Sign me up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 12:32 PM
28

"i believe everything this man says at face value because I gave it up real fast and have feelings. I am not going to critically examine how he acts towards me, and I'm going to let him breadcrumb me." Yeah, no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 12:29 PM
15

Oh my god
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:49 PM
5

Depends on the context, really. Just talking before a date? Not ok. On a date? Also not exactly ok, but you can maneuver it into good territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:35 PM
22

Lmao at these responses. Eminem on repeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:33 PM
55

Posts like that piss me off so much. I grew up with a father like this too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:56 PM
13

Your reasoning for moving in with your husband before marriage and engagement is the exact same reason I did as well. You never know until you actually do and being tied to a man who's faked it is...awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:01 PM
21

Ooooh...the sex partners thing is completely a LVM trait. No HVM will ever ask that. It's an extremely invasive question and I've never given a response and not been judged for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:50 PM
14

Nothing really comes to mind. The only thing I've done against handbook of note was move in with my current partner before engagement but it was done on my personal timeline and because I wanted it...plus it was before I came to the sub, and heard some of the arguments against it. I still don't think it was a mistake as I've never been happier in my life, despite the quarantine - but I get why it WOULD be a potential mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:39 PM
9

I would be ok with that as well. I have a friend who works as a jeweler/goldsmith and he made his now wife a ring. It is absolutely gorgeous. The diamond itself wasn't cheap and the intricacy of his gold inlay was just amazing. It was like silver with rose gold inlay, I can't really describe it but it wasn't like anything I'd seen and you could tell it was a good piece.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:12 PM
59

Hmm. If you're a jeweler or someone who can artistically create an individual piece of fine jewelry (I have a friend like that!) then I see no issues with making your own engagement ring for your fiance. Making it out of cheap materials with shoddy craftsmanship however gets a firm pass from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:16 PM
5

I have seen so many LVM with dogs named Cooper it's a red flag at this point. That or it's a girl dog named Bella. Get creative FFS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:59 PM
52

- his dog, Cooper or whatever I died lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:39 PM
9

We do 70/30 for bills and he takes care of all date expenses unless I decide to treat him. He hated it when I'd split date bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:30 PM
33

^^ she's right. Don't reschedule. One chance, they blow it too bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:29 PM
35

I would cancel it with him. You don't owe him your time and if you aren't into him emotionally now (good!) then it's really a waste of energy to go on this date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:27 PM
25

Yes, you'll start to notice this in other friendships as well. Valuing yourself doesn't only mean about men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:24 PM
9

Nope. Tell someone sooner rather than later. Break up if it's bad, and ghost if it's intolerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:49 PM
18

I met mine online. I wouldn't recommend it, but I somehow got lucky. 98% of the guys on dating apps are not good. It was more accident than anything for me, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:11 PM
1

Eww insta block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:05 PM
18

Yeah, the shock just insulates them more. I've noticed that myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:44 PM
16

I think the reason they're asking on reddit is because of how ashamed they are, maybe. Sometimes with abuse you also stop having female friends. After the first few huge fights or the emotional abuse, you stop telling your friends what's going on in your home life because you don't want to be judged. That's a huge red flag to me now. If I ever feel like I can't talk to friends about problems that means it's way too big and awful for me to stay in that situation. I'm sorry you went through that a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:42 PM
18

I really do want them to heal, to get away. It's so hard to see them going through that. And the women are always (almost) so damn kind and selfless. "How can I fix this?" "What can I do to make him stop hurting me?" Like honey, you aren't the problem. Don't fix him, don't stay... And then you see them post again a week later about the same damn issue. "He got better and then it got worse.." :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:36 PM
39

Maybe he doesn't hit you, but he coerces you into sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:33 PM
45

I hope no one ever swipes on him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:30 PM
6

There are just as many rich LVM/NVM as there are poor. Being rich doesn't mean they're better. However. I'm not sure that rich men are online on tinder specifically - and those that are probably aren't looking for anything serious. Tinder in and of itself is a low value app. You're judging people immediately by looks and commodifying them. I think it's one of the more shallow apps for dating. That isn't to say that you can't find love or a HVM there but the odds are against it. I think that bett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:02 AM
35

And fast. You have 2 hours to respond left. Be quick, hop to it! His dick ain't gonna suck itself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:33 PM
12

Oh yes. He'd tell me about his dead dad, his drunk abusive mom. He was an alcoholic too and was abusive. I kinda doubt his mom was abusive tbh, I think that was a lie. She was definitely a drunk though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:32 PM
38

If you're going to strike out do it hard! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:29 PM
15

I'd kiss within the first few dates or the first month, but that's me. Your timeline sounds ok except why spend the night if you aren't having sex? Dry humping isn't classy and we alllll know that's bound to happen lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:27 PM
70

Any man who says that or "no drama" or "I'm honest" is the opposite. I kinda feel like if you're advertising how honest you are it isn't a good thing. Honesty should be the default, not an added feature. Why advertise it? Methinks he doth protest too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:24 PM
5

Only after you've met in person at least once (three times was mine but only two got there) And even then set up a google voice phone. They're free and easy to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:21 PM
49

Hmm. I have a "type", physically - and I'm really a sucker for "intelligent" guys I can discuss current events. He had a rough home life, and I understood and EmPaThIzEd with how rough it was and wanted to fix him. Lolol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:20 PM
68

"In town til Friday" aka "I want to hook up but too lazy to find a hooker".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:11 PM
5

"Worth it" is a loaded term. I can think of two guys that fit that description for me, but it wasn't/isn't the sex that I'm interested in. It helps a lot but it isn't everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:25 PM
15

Exactly. I see a lot of people making that mistake here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:08 PM
6

Then you're golden! Just block, call it off :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:37 PM
19

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:53 PM
21

Play dumb fox when the bill comes and it won't be an issue (handbook ftw!).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:47 PM
19

If you have close mutual friends, send a text like "hey, this isn't what I'm looking for. I wish you well". Then block. You don't owe anybody an explanation beyond that. If he doesn't know any of your friends, just block. I only mention the friends thing because if he asks them where you are or something it could be a whole thing (happened to me lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:45 PM
36

Always bad, not a prude. They want easy prey, they don't want an equal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:40 PM
286

If the date was so amazing, why aren't they his girlfriends now? Spoiler alert: the dates weren't great and no girl said that to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:21 PM
30

Ohhhhh eww. This is grounds for divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:25 PM
72

I didn't even say anything the last time my ex messaged me. I am so glad you got to say your piece to him. You're so strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:32 PM
42

Roald gave me a garbage pail yesterday and the dialogue cracked me up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:48 PM
22

Damn. Hope you blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:59 PM
25

Idk where you are but it is so godawful hot right now (100°+) that if someone said "let's go to the park" I would advise them to see a psychiatrist. Hours in the hot sun, sweating and thirsty? Sounds like fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:24 PM
12

Paying for dates, riding an hour long bus ride to see him (he had a car and never came to get me/see me), cleaning the house, cooking all the food, begging for sex...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:18 PM
7

What you need to know is that recovery is not linear. It's ok to have that resentment and to backslide into it from time to time. Use it to focus yourself. When you can go back to school use that anger and resentment to prove him wrong. But you are not doing worse than him. Compared to the black hole he made in his life you are doing so much better than he ever will. Narcs only cause destruction to others and themselves. It might seem like he has everything you want (success, city, etc) but he i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:16 PM
135

Rihanna was an abuse survivor herself, it doesn't surprise me that she'd do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:07 PM
60

Wow! No confirmation, just "hey we still on?" And no concrete plans on where to meet. He definitely sounded like he was trying to get you to feel guilty and lower your standards for him."I'm looking for an easygoing girl I can play games/spin plates on." This was definitely testing you to see what you'd put up with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:02 PM
6

Potential = no immediate disqualifications for your standards. Not saying they ARE HVM, just someone you can't immediately veto.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:06 PM
6

I had luck on OKcupid and Plenty of Fish. I figure for every one **potential** HVM there's a hundred LVM, but if you know how to vet it isn't too much more of a problem than any other setting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:04 PM
13

I've never really thought about it. I don't really enjoy dancing - but I think men who say they hate it are probably not giving it a fair shake. I think a HVM would dance with you if you asked. Is this a dealbreaker for you? You can have whatever standards you'd like and you don't have to call yourself "too sensitive".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:01 PM
3

Block, don't respond. Not worth your time. He broke boundaries and is insulting you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:55 PM
11

Hallelujah for that hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:30 PM
54

Oh honey. Your boyfriend's friends sound really shitty. I would tell him in no minced words that I will never be around them again, and I would reconsider the boyfriend if he knew they were acting like that and said nothing. He's just as bad as they are for having you around men that misogynistic. Never be nice to men - they don't see it the same way we do. Cheer up women like that, build up other women. Never do that with men. They'll immediately think you're into them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 06:22 PM
4

EXACTLY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:09 PM
1

Really? That's interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:11 PM
1

Give them 24 hours and then if you don't get asked out, move on. If he is interested in you he will ask quickly and try to make plans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:09 PM
11

No, I will not give you advice on how to make YOUR feelings go away. Your feelings are valid. It is rational not to like your partner taking risks like driving while high. You need to read the handbook, and you need to dump him. He isn't going to change this behavior for you and you aren't being controlling if you say "I don't like it". Don't move in with him, don't get knocked up, and dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:07 PM
6

"I hate filling these out" "Just ask me" "No one reads these things"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:01 PM
5

I'm not a super model but I get the same treatment from my partner that he's saying these drop-dead gorgeous women get. Why? Because that's my standard. I would never accept anything less and I bet those women won't either. This is the MINIMUM, not the max.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:55 PM
23

Well I'm glad she broke up with him. That's just insanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:41 PM
46

Oh wow. Oh WOW. I hope it's a troll post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:31 PM
30

It's so gross. I mean, who would it appeal to besides a pedophile? How did it become public? Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:03 PM
48

I don't even understand the ad...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:53 PM
17

Any dating group run by a guy is going to be shit. It sounds like he's conditioning them to expect less so he and people like him can benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:48 PM
7

Yeah, you'll get that a lot. It's fine, they can have their crappy romances. We'll get the really wonderful men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:38 PM
19

It isn't about being materialistic - it's about showing us that we're valued. We're trying to attract a higher caliber of man. Any idiot can do a cheap coffee date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:31 PM
27

No, a walk is not a date. FDS doesn't believe in walks for dates, coffee for dates, or drinks for dates, or picnics - and above all, no going to their house for a first date. The main reason we say no to those dates is because they are very low effort and low value. They don't benefit the woman in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:20 PM
17

At least three more messages
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:05 PM
35

It's a "hey ask me out by giving me an extra way to contact you, but I'm very busy and always will be so you can't complain about this ever, and also I'm gonna be flaky on my phone and blame it on apps and being busy but maybe we can hit up a bar and you pay for your own drinks and you can maybe have sex with me as a treat!" You definitely know all this lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:03 PM
54

Just say no to drinks with men who don't even know when they'll be available. Also say no to just drinks in general. LVM gonna LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:48 PM
76

"power and beauty" - "tits" lmao what the actual f*ck. No, tits isn't a glamorous word. "Glorious bosoms" would convey more "power and beauty" but I would still get creeped out if a guy used that term. Why refer to them at all? Huge red flag tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:31 PM
81

No, they don't
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 11:40 AM
4

My current is a taurus. None of the negative traits associated with the sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 08:27 PM
14

Mine treats me like that. I'm happy for you, I hope he continues to act this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:37 PM
112

Duuuuuude wassaaaaap I'm dying at the disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:43 PM
10

I think you misunderstand what a HVM is, because he is NOT that. Please read the handbook, it will help you out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:24 PM
423

And "come over so I can cook for you". Code for "lemme smash".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:37 AM
9

Yes. Stalking and harassment even from the "better" ones, and abuse from the worst. I told a potential HVM once (a few dates but it was going awesome) that I wasn't going to see him anymore because he was a Scorpio. He didn't understand and said I was silly but free to make up my own mind. I'm just superstitious about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 06:46 PM
15

Scorpio was the abuser but like...i've actually dated a lot of scorpios (4) and none worked out. I only pay attention to astrology when it comes to Scorpios hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 06:39 PM
9

We met on plenty of fish lol. I was going on a dating tear. Kept going on dates, using FDS, and was cycling through a rotation of guys on first/second dates. He managed to win a third with me, then a fourth and fifth till I quit doing the rotation altogether, and now we're getting engaged sometime in the fall :D Keep your standards high, go on rotational dates, and make them win you. Even if you like a guy a lot keep going on rotation. Best strategy ever. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:26 PM
40

I don't want to scare you or anything, but men who ignore your boundaries are huge red flags 90% of the time. Please be careful when coming in or leaving work; park in well lit areas, leave and come in with groups of people, and let your supervisor and anyone else know that he's been bothering you at work. He might not be dangerous but you need to take precautions. Men don't like "no" for an answer. It is abhorrent that they don't respect us enough, and it's their fault but don't make it easy fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:49 PM
18

He's kind, generous, charming, funny, respectful, thoughtful, has a good relationship with his family (key!), has a sober lifestyle, a good job, intelligent, takes care of his responsibilities, shares my worldview (ethics, morals, political beliefs, religious beliefs), is extremely cute, good in bed, takes care of me, protects me...umm. I'm very political and have views typically outside the norm in my area and he has the same ones. We just mesh better than anyone I've ever been around lol. I'm …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:20 PM
43

Well, with mine we get along probably 99% of the time. I'm almost never annoyed by him and when I am it's never anything serious. We had a fight very early on about video game usage but he's respected my boundaries there ever since - only plays them maybe 2 hours a week tops, plus once a month he has a group video game day with his friends that's an all day thing. I'm more than ok with this since I've agreed to use that day to do my own shit without him. Basically any time I tell him "hey stop t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:50 PM
33

I can cook 100x better than this. I do for Brunchgiving every year lol. Friends and family. This isn't impressive and yeah - pickme bait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:00 AM
5

I mean in a vaccuum, sure. But that isn't the real world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:52 AM
295

"We look back and laugh about it now!" Fucking nope. Not laughing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 09:55 PM
25

I don't even know. r/relationship_advice gets a bad rap for everyone always saying "leave" but fuck me, people need to leave most of these relationships. And the guys always trying to get the women to stay with the unwashed, nasty, abusive men like - are you benefiting from this? Do you know that man? Why would you want a woman to hurt herself and get yeast infections and everything else? Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:26 PM
45

Yup, this is really common. It does sound like love bombing. The only thing to do is move on. Recognize the signs. You'll get idiots in the comment sections sometimes saying things like "I said I love you on the first date and we got married!" but they are the exception, not the rule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:14 PM
37

Jesus. That was hard to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:51 PM
41

Our reproductive rights are always second fiddle to the rights men have. It is insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:38 PM
89

Dogs and cats are the only couch creatures we should accept 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:51 PM
36

Her family are the assholes for telling her the ring was ok. I don't want a recycled ring. A family heirloom? Sure. A custom designed ring reusing a family heirloom diamond? Sure. A ring from a failed engagement? No way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:45 PM
33

I think you DID let out too much too soon. I would play it much cooler for now and back off a lot if you continue to see him. Too much intimacy too fast breeds a bad foundation for a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:03 PM
8

Exactly. Any HVM is going to be staying at home, taking care of his priorities and putting dating on the back burner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:44 PM
30

Alright, so those family and friends telling you to go? Don't listen to them for advice on dating anymore. "Give him a chance" no. That age gap is the worst. And him not driving/owning a car/working at a supermarket is also all just no's at his age. Unless you're managing the supermarket or own it, just being a bag boy or cashier at 31 is kinda painful. With the pandemic (here in the states, but only some states) the supermarkets were almost the only things open and only way to make money for a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:38 AM
8

Ok that was hilarious lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 08:47 PM
1

I kind of am regretting posting anything at all now, tbh. I thought it was wholesome and I was really happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 04:48 PM
29

Thank you for the honesty and reality check! I felt such a rush for years and while I want to get married, I'm not desperate now - but it always helps to read these accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:11 PM
6

Whenever I felt like that when I was purposefully single, I just remembered WHY I was being single. I wasn't in a good place mentally. To use a metaphor: I was preparing my garden for love, and I shouldn't settle for weeds. Getting into a relationship would undo the weeks of weeding and tending to the small buds popping out of the ground. Sure, the dandelion IS a plant. But it wasn't a lily and that was the only thing I would be willing to accept for myself. I'd just double up on my therapy, whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:25 PM
66

....milk? Lol what on god's green earth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:28 AM
71

You don't owe him an explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 04:47 PM
574

Why do we say this? Because when you help a man and teach him, he doesn't thank you. He doesn't value you. He looks on you as a stepping stone to greater things. Men don't marry the women who stay with them for years and are their therapist. They marry the women who they aspire to be with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:28 AM
10

He looks like Slenderman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:24 AM
9

Ewww. I hate those things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:22 AM
49

FDS is anti-porn as a whole. So...the default answer here is leave. Typically men who watch porn in the amount you're describing don't change, for any reason - especially when it's a live sex cam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 11:41 PM
1

It's my favorite! It picks up on every other color you wear, it's kind of timeless, and a bit different than a diamond. Like, if you wear it people notice. I've already had a lot of comments and I've only had it a day haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:48 PM
34

Stay strong, keep it up. This might hurt now but it will be so much better in the long run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:18 PM
31

Yeah. It was two different men btw, not the same guy. She divorced the guy who molested me but blamed me for the divorce (he left right after I did, hmm wonder why? Ped0phil3). When I came back because it was safe she was with the other dude, married him, and he emotionally abused her and my sister. Kept trying to get my sister sent to military school, lied about her constantly. I couldn't take it. I tried to get me sister to move in with me but as a minor she couldn't. When my mom divorced that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:15 PM
59

I moved out of my mom's house twice for this. The first time I was actually being molested and mom swore I was making it up. The second time the man was abusing HER and she was angry I was telling her that. Fine, keep making excuses for men, I'm done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:06 PM
6

Lmao @the scrote who just commented that my watch is hiding my fat wrist. My wrist isn't fat, for one. The watch was actually sliding off my hand which is why it's all the way down there. You can't even see the other side of the watch band in the photo, you absolute idiot. Go yank your sad willy till it cries some more, you disgusting excuse for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:05 PM
69

Some people don't deserve children. I wish I could help the daughter. Fuck that mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:56 PM
148

I am livid! And I know for experience that this will mean the daughter won't feel the same about her mom ever again. She's the biggest asshole. Move into someone else's apartment after 3 months? It's fine if you're 20 and don't know better. We've all made mistakes. But she doesn't know shit about this man! 3 months is barely enough time to vet for sex, let alone a whole ass move into an apartment. And what if the man is actually a creep and starts molesting your daughter? You showed by taking th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:49 PM
14

Yeah, I can see a year engagement. And with Covid I know 3 people who canceled their weddings and rescheduled for the spring, so there could be mitigating circumstances. Two of them went ahead and got their licenses so they're actually married now, just no celebration or ceremony till the spring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:28 PM
8

I meeeean... I always did this to my OLD matches once we'd got to the share numbers (always gave a text free number) in my phone part of the relationship. I'd have Brown Eye POF, Matt 3 POF, just no POF (save to block) etc. I never saved them besides a description. But after being in a relationship - let alone engaged?? No. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:25 PM
15

He's an absolutely wonderful man and I appreciate everything he does to show me I'm important and loved <3 I hope we all get the love we deserve one day. FDS works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:52 AM
8

https://www.kay.com/natural-opal-ring-115-ct-tw-diamonds-10k-rose-gold/p/V-580512907?cid=PLA-goo-E-Commerce+-+PLA+-+Zombie&&gclid=CjwKCAjwsO_4BRBBEiwAyagRTW3fK-ZC_JBANs5vStXkTAtorqp6tOzBix54ogN68TTEFudligDnDRoCSZ0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds Bulky link but that's the ring lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:42 PM
31

Thank you! I love opals. The set is natural opals, with diamonds. It's hard for pictures to do opals justice since the catch the light differently at every angle you see them at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:40 PM
63

Yes, my nails are a hot mess. But really this was such a sweet gesture I had to share. And I didn't want to show my face cause I don't want the lurkers to see me, lol. I've been having extremely terrible pain lately (chronic pain, testing for two autoimmune conditions this week), and he's been doing everything he can to cheer me up. His newest idea was taking me into Kay and letting me pick out aomething I liked just because. It isn't my birthday, our anniversary, or a holiday. Not making up for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:14 PM
7

I hope so too haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:17 PM
5

31 and childfree by choice here too. I just have never wanted to tie myself to a man before my current one, and having seen too many divorced parents fighting (including my own) I knew I would never risk a child having a bad parent. Men can be nasty when you call them out. Women too, but men are a whole different level - and the gaslighting! Nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:14 PM
32

Delusion, definitely. Plus women aren't (typically) going to go for the poly-thing if they're single - I mean, why would you get a man who is already committed to someone else when you can find a single one all to yourself - whilst men won't care if a woman is married, engaged, in a coma, etc. So the man always is gonna be at a disadvantage. lol. Funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:55 PM
56

Well, that isn't exactly true for every situation. Lots of times the man will say "hey let's be poly" and have images of sexy women dancing in his head, only to realize he can't get the babes. The woman partner who went along with the nonsense? She can get men instantly. So in cases where the woman actually can distance herself from the relationship, the men get butthurt when the ladies do better in banging bros than them. It's kinda funny to go on poly subs and see how it plays out, lol. So man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:30 PM
42

Yeah, I can't get behind poly. It isn't enlightened, it's just cheating with extra steps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:16 PM
51

Lmao the face reveal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 08:51 PM
164

This is just really sad and pathetic...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:46 PM
6

See if you qualify for an annulment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:46 PM
1

There was a why for me. I had to know before I could heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 03:29 PM
2

Yeah, I wouldn't call my feelings "living in the past". I don't think about him much, and when I do it's only because I have flashbacks to the abuse and then I get pissed I'm still dealing with it. It's getting rarer and rarer. Sometimes r/relationships gives them to me just because some of the women ask questions like "is this normal" and they're clearly being abused so then, ya know. I remember. I have no good memories of him, don't miss him, and if he died tomorrow I'd just be thankful he cou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:06 AM
22

Eh, I do hate my abusive ex boyfriend. I had to get therapy for the abuse for years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:47 PM
9

I would simply say "no thank you" and then block. He doesn't need to know anything more than that. I love it when the trash takes itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:38 PM
19

If you just left an abusive relationship you shouldn't be dating now. Even 3 months isn't enough time to move on. I'm saying this to be nice, honestly. I was in an abusive relationship myself and it took a lot of therapy to get me sane, get me to love myself, and understand WHY I was letting myself get put into that situation where abuse was ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:30 PM
20

Just a picture of a truck? Swipe left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:52 PM
4

Mine does that on purpose (lol). His phone background screen is a close up of my nose and upper lip. When he actually does try to take good pictures they're...better. But he has more fun with the goblin poses. Men. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:51 PM
19

Amen to that. I would choose to be gay if I could avoid them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:49 PM
20

Yes! I got one from my abusive ex not long ago. I agonized over what to say. I wanted to say something like "You massive asshole, you ruined my life for years! You cost me $X in therapy! You destroyed the best parts of me and I had to rebuild. Now I'm happy, but I want you to rot in hell." I ended up not replying to him, and just blocking him (again). He wasn't worth my time, energy, or emotions. If I had truly moved on (and I have) I wouldn't say anything at all. So I didn't. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:45 PM
1

Yes, I have picked mine up twice and dropped off twice. I've only flown out once, and he picked up/dropped off too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:04 AM
46

No, this is what boyfriend (and girlfriends) do. It's really rude of him not to pick you up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:23 AM
42

Not "her man" though. Just a guy she met at least once before. They aren't in a relationship from the looks of this query. Her going across the country to get laid is very ill advised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 12:25 PM
9

Growth is growth, no need to say it isn't that much! You're doing great. Be proud of yourself. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:07 PM
26

I watched the whole thing and just what the fuck!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:01 PM
4

When your song hits Top40, when finish your trade or your degree, when you get that leading role or a promotion, when you help other people in some way, that happiness and fulfillment is a FIRST HAND emotion. aaaah I wish I could be this articulate about things! Well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:46 PM
34

This whole convo made me cringe into another dimension. After he made the comment about your hair why would you continue talking to him? And then you insult each other MORE? Come on, you can do better. HE can't. Any man like this isn't worth your time. Block and be done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:41 PM
70

Do whatever you want with your body. If you think they're cute, keep them. If you got them purely to impress guys, that's a different story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:49 AM
1

No, he paid off her loans in the picture...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:40 PM
5

Oh thank God. I was feeling so low-key judged for this lol I'm gonna make fancy homemade taquitos for dinner tonight. You all convinced me and there is no turning back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 06:38 PM
2

I would only date Keanu in an age gap situation. Otherwise I stick to within two years of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 06:23 PM
26

Oh my god, he sounds insufferable. Bet he wants to date supermodels too, with his terrible attitude and entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 06:20 PM
6

I never messed with Bumble as I don't like the idea of messaging first, and they had only just started in my area when I was in the OLD scene in the major city I lived in - came to a small city, and there were no users at all so just stuck with POF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 05:15 PM
2

Oh my god, that story on imgur almost made me cry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:54 PM
8

YES! I used to have your same issue. Now even if there ARE hard feelings I can say "hope it works out for ya" and block and be done. Our paragraphs explaining the hurt they did NEVER got their attention and just make us look crazy. Plus, they didn't read them. Never learned. Far better to keep that to ourselves and deprive them the joy of knowing us. :) Queen shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:51 PM
14

My life choices feel entirely valid right now. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:42 PM
11

It's the only way to kill the 5g they put in your skull after you get a corona test!!! /sarcasm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:41 PM
7

I hope you aren't messaging them first...? And definitely meet their effort. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk or engage in conversation with people I literally just spoke to for the first time a few minutes before. You sound like a great person to get to know! They're missing out. Just know most (90+%) of the guys on OLD are going to be there just for quick lays, not to meet a soulmate. It CAN work, it did for me, but you do have to wade through sewer water to find the rat king, so to speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:40 PM
11

I think the names are fine (ish) after a few months of dating, but not before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:35 PM
15

I hear you on the tiny brownies. I do that sometimes when I just want a single serving and not a huge pan and they're perfectly fine like that. I'm just...I love taquitos so much that seeing them called out like that really hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:00 PM
7

That's more in keeping with FDS than I am, obviously. I know I'm not following it in that regard. I have a large GTFO fund, so I'm not living in a situation where I could never leave. FDS hasn't led me wrong, and I probably would get engaged first knowing what I know now (especially about my boyfriend, there wasn't a real reason to hold off thank god). But, almost there :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:41 PM
12

I had a three year timeline but that's just based on how I see things and I'm almost to the end of it. One year dating, one year living together, one year engaged. That's just how I wanted to do it, but that isn't the consensus on FDS (they say don't live together but I had my reasons). I feel like saying 4-5 years is a bit much. You should already know by 6 months if they're a good fit. I did, I know my bf did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:10 PM
11

I can totally respect and understand that. I think everyone has their own ideas on how they want their proposal and marriage to go down. I definitely do. As long as the man goes out of his way to show he's listened to you and knows your wavelength I think it's fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:05 PM
7

I agree. Me and mine have already talked marriage and I'm expecting a proposal this year based on our agreed-upon timeline. I would be fine with a public proposal but only because we've already agreed on it. I would prefer a proposal where we had our first date or something like that, just because I'm sentimental. He also knows that, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:03 PM
69

Don't come for taquitos like this though :( they're my favorite bad snack food
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 12:57 PM
9

Ewwww....rancid milk? That's so unhealthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:20 PM
8

He looks JUST LIKE one of my mom's ex husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:24 PM
3

The bar is in hell, once again. With visual proof!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:21 PM
28

Animal Crossing does not deserve this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 12:15 PM
4

That's perfectly fair, and the context matters. "Yeah whatever" is NOT a good answer on that. Glad you did your due diligence! You have to protect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 11:36 AM
10

Eh, it depends really. My father is racist and very loud about it so I've stopped talking with him, just because I can't deal with it. My mom is a narcissist, and I can't talk much with her either - our relationship is only surface level. So I can understand a child not speaking to their parents. I would call it a yellow flag until you know what's going on. Proceed with caution and leave the situation immediately if you sense he has unresolved issues from it and isn't seeking therapy or help (I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 11:26 AM
7

I only care that the guy was the same age as her son. That's just messed up to me, personally...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 11:22 AM
54

I feel like there really aren't going to be a lot of situations where a HVM doesn't show his willingness to communicate and desire to keep a relationship going with you. The fact communication dropped off tells me he probably wasn't a HVM, so you didn't make a mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:02 PM
3

Oh if only we had a mask mandate! We don't even believe in the virus here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:56 PM
6

She looks gorgeous in both, to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:23 PM
1

Hopeful that mine will stay that way :) I never had good relationship role models, so I like hearing good stories. I've tried very hard to get to a point I can have a healthy relationship. We work hard at our relationship - in the sense that we don't take each other for granted, we always want to improve etc, not in the sense that it's difficult. Plus I like hearing date ideas and things that can keep the relationship interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:22 PM
6

Amazing detective work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:17 PM
6

Georgia here! We're #9 in the rankings. Or were yesterday. Kemp can kick rocks. Edit: we're #8 now actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 10:59 PM
5

Yeah, if you're in Florida or Arizona it's a no-go. Some other places are ok-ish
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 10:40 PM
98

Oh yay, a walk! Can we catch some tennis balls too? And get belly rubs?? Cause obviously women are literal dogs and need to be walked. Smdh the audacity. We aren't pets. Not acceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 10:02 PM
39

I'm just glad I'm not trying to date right now. My sympathies to anyone trying to weed out who is taking the virus seriously vs who is using it to get cheap dates and earlier access to sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:38 PM
13

See, the guys who ask that kind of stuff (IMHO) are incredibly insecure and know they can't keep you interested in them and want to sniff out if there's better competitors out there. A quick throwaway question about past relationships is fine and I think pretty standard on first dates, but it shouldn't be something you NEED to talk about and quite frankly if you've been abused before it's dangerous to talk about it. Gives men reason to believe they can do the same thing to you or that you won't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:18 PM
45

When my current bf asked me about my past relationships (vaguely) on our first date I just said more or less "it ended for a variety of reasons and I am just glad to move on to a new, positive chapter of my life. I learned a lot from it, but I'm not dwelling in the past. Say, where is our waiter? I could use a refill on this salsa. So good!" I only told him more specifics much later on when I knew he could be trusted. Keep it positive, move the conversation right along. I feel like some people a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:08 PM
9

Happy cake day :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:53 PM
82

I stan a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:48 PM
22

She settled for second when she should always have been first. Know your worth, ladies. We can all learn from this. May her new venture be just as successful (but benefit her instead!).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:47 PM
7

Yes! That has happened to me before as well. Usually is pictures of dogs. One f*ckbo* who was on and off with me did this from a new account not long ago. "I have something I need to talk to you about". Cue me immediately going wtf, does he have aids or something (I'm clean and tested after him but I just couldn't think of anything you'd bring up after four years that's important??). I go "what's up". "I miss you *pic of puppy*". I was so happy to say "I'm busy with my boyfriend, please don't te…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:50 AM
5

fact
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:44 PM
124

"I'm a huge Trump fan" was obvious from the rest of these texts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:39 PM
4

Figured as much! Barely any of the people I know in the south are treating it likes it's a big deal even though our state is in the top 10 of most infected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 03:34 PM
1

I figure suggesting a general location is fine. Like...let's go eat somewhere in the river district. Then he has to pick a location and time. I only did weekend dates, because I want him to value my time and put in effort and weeknight first dates don't really seem to do that. 'Course, I could be wrong - how many good dates did I ever have either way, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:51 PM
50

I'm more of the girl next door than model stunner, but it doesn't surprise me that we're not legbeards. I've never gone long without male attention but - it was BAD male LVM/NVM attention. Wanting a good partner is not the same as being a femcel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:45 PM
13

definitely LVM behavior (or just a normal person in the american south). I wouldn't meet with him. He probably denies science behind masks etc or doesn't think the virus is a big deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:30 PM
56

Jesus christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:19 PM
11

I've heard disgusting stories about how they TRY to get their man juice on the ceiling etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:45 PM
187

Why would you do this to yourself? Highly doubt this is a woman lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:44 PM
11

Better you wait, rather than deal with this LVM bullcrap. You don't have to be a stickler for an exact phrase but "I'd like to take you out this weekend" is good, "let's hook up" is not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:22 PM
16

First of all I highly doubt women are posting "I need 6 inch dick". Just doesn't ring true to what I've seen my friends (and myself) post on dating sites. I've seen height reqs, but never dick measuring reqs. Second of all...yeaaaah he just has a small dick and that's why he cares so much. Nothing WRONG with a small dick (I'd never make fun of it) but he just gave himself away...and him not caring about other kinds of problems makes me less sympathetic to his "plight".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:20 PM
16

That was my first thought too! LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:50 PM
22

I prefer shorter guys because I like kissing someone my own height but NEVER am I ever gonna tell a woman to have my standards or that they're wrong for having whatever height requirements they want. Some of y'all are missing the point! Keep your standards high, don't feel ashamed for having them. You owe nobody anything and men who insult you because of your standards are not worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:49 PM
22

"I'm fine with dating" but he wants sex. Not a date. Hence him not asking you on a date. He wants to "see what happens".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:40 PM
82

15 years together, still a boyfriend, won't buy her a phone. Sounds about right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:38 PM
8

Are you sure..? I've never seen tans referred to as going black before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:27 PM
29

A 1Q? Doesn't he mean IQ? Oh, these men. Also "has gone black" so racist to boot. God, I hope he doesn't reproduce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:46 PM
34

It's the same damage to the women, and it's more personalized so it's a bit worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:02 PM
16

I don't either. I'm 5 even, and I prefer guys closer to my own height. Hard to find a short guy without a napoleon complex but when you do chef kiss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 08:51 PM
33

At first I was like >:( but then I was like :-P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:13 PM
26

Oh, for sure. I'm sure you also get men that fetishize you as well, based on what I've heard from my non-white friends. I hate this is the world we live in and yet...here we are. People suck. All I can do is hold people accountable when I see stuff like that IRL. Petty racism is still racism. So disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 01:38 PM
40

I am so sorry. Wow. "Violent".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 12:16 PM
6

When I lived in a major city I did not have a car or drive, as it wasn't a problem. If you have easy access to buses, trains, subways, lyft and uber etc that's one thing. If you live in the country and there's no buses so you rely on your family or friends to take you around that's another story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:58 PM
9

It exists, but it isn't necessary for love (I don't think). I had it with my boyfriend right away and it's still there. I define it as immediate attraction and connection. It's like lust but it isn't all it is. I don't know. Hard to explain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 06:51 PM
5

Oh my god lmao I'm cracking up so hard. I know this has to be satire. Right? RIGHT?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:58 AM
12

Why is she even asking. He isn't worth keeping around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:52 AM
30

LVM gonna LVM. That's really shitty but you know...she didn't win a prize. I feel bad for her too. She probably paid for that meal and coerced him into going. She probably got shit for her birthday from him. You did great not giving him a reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:51 AM
5

My bf always asks me in the morning if I feel ok, did I sleep well. He knows I wake up with migraines all the time, and he tries so hard to take care of me. He is ok with whatever sleep schedule I want for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:48 PM
24

Fast food is not a date, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:44 PM
8

Go with high quality clothes if you can. Try to refine this style as much as possible, and carry yourself well. You don't have to look like a runway model daily to get an HVM. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 01:19 PM
1

I can't view the site on my computer here at work :( I'm really worried I won't be able to join if it goes down today
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:02 PM
3

Yup, he's not into you. Move on, unmatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 09:20 PM
45

Then they say "I don't want to lower my standards" well, sir, even dogs wouldn't want you as a caretaker...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 05:37 PM
24

It is normal to feel like this. I think if at all possible you should get some therapy. It doesn't sound like you've fully healed and worse, you don't seem to think you're worth healing. That is so wrong! You DO deserve a normal, loving, healthy relationship. Find a therapist if you can, maybe do zoom calls if you can't meet in person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 04:09 PM
5

a history of domestic abuse Fucking no. NO. No. Why!? No. Stop. You always THINK that the guy is now over it, that it was just them, or alcohol, or drugs. It ISN'T. You will be next. Yes, I'm trying to scare you because I do not want you to get hurt like I did. HE WILL HURT YOU ONE DAY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:50 PM
50

Agree entirely. Men know by month three where they want to go and if they say "I don't know" that is a NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:44 PM
150

Why is their "type" always something that'll be completely out of their league?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:27 PM
21

God, stuff like this makes me so grateful for my bf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:05 PM
30

Oh no honey, this is not ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:04 PM
27

I know. It was awful. That was the last coffee date I ever went on and I never ever ever will again. Learned my lesson HARD that time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:34 PM
81

Probably the most cringey date was when I agreed to go on a coffee (I know, I know) and bookstore date. Coffee was a lukewarm canned frapp drink like the ones you get in bulk at Costco, so...small size, probably cost a dollar. Wow, thanks? And then we walked around the bookstore. He had said he'd pick some books out for me and I thought at the time it was a cute idea. He picked out some that looked terrible, and then found a book for himself. And asked me if I wouldn't mind paying for his book t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:17 PM
95

A disgruntled scrote called it a female incel group in the relationship_advice sub and I didn't want to take that at face value so I clicked the link he'd put in, and was like "yup these are my people". Nothing like incels, and a generally positive community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 02:09 PM
3

If you mentioned it to him before, then he doesn't have an excuse to forget if you were important to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 04:45 PM
15

So lazy they can't even do the work to get someone on their junk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:35 PM
39

Upvote upvote upvote. It is NEVER too late to leave. Do it now, before you regret years and years, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 03:57 PM
95

My bf goes and he might not know what something is but he will look and google search before asking me, or he'll send me a text with the image like "this brand of x, right?" And he'll pick up something I like that isn't on the list just to surprise me. It isn't normal for people not to know how to shop. This just tells me he doesn't cook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 03:13 PM
150

That's it, I'm ring shaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 02:26 PM
33

" A HVM (I thought) that I was talking to last night, during the first conversation, " See, that's your first mistake. You can't know in one conversation if a man is a HVM or not. It takes much more time than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:59 PM
14

If I could do it all over again at your age (I'm 30 now), I wouldn't date at all. I would focus on myself. I would advance my career. None of the guys I met when I was 18-25 were worth my time, my energy, my youth. You are literally not missing anything if you don't date right now. Be selfish! Travel the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:56 PM
46

He probably is still cheating on her. Once you start, you don't just stop. The desire to cheat will always be there. I firmly believe this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:51 PM
30

You never tell them that it's a 90 day rule. If they know that's your strategy, they'll find a way to wait it out to get what they want. Even the worst people can hold out and be nice for 90 days if they know there's a reward at the end. You just have to say "I'm not quite comfortable yet." Good men will respect that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:33 PM
54

I think 90 days is just right. I view it as a job. Whenever you get a job usually there's a 90 day probationary period. Wouldn't you want the same level of scrutiny for applicants to your vagina as you would for an employee at even Target or Starbucks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:22 PM
151

How is any of that funny though? I didn't get the joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:36 PM
26

What can I offer...uh. Umm. MUH PENIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 11:35 PM
10

I think all men notice beautiful women. But do they ogle them? No. That's a different level. When you can SEE your boyfriend noticing women, that's bad. It's normal to see an attractive person. I do it, you do it. He's being disrespectful though. Especially by commenting that they're "really cute" after you see it! What a comment to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:24 PM
60

This is just idiocy. Do these men even....LIKE women? Or see us as people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 12:23 PM
34

Eww, no way lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:58 PM
134

He hasn't changed. Once you hit a woman, you can NEVER be trusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:18 PM
14

Mine pays for all dates, no questions asked. Sometimes I will insist on treating him, but he makes more than me and WANTS to spend money on me (and us). I'll buy him small presents from time to time and big presents for his birthday and Christmas, but he'd rather I put my money into investing in myself and always says "let me do it, save your money!". He's a great boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 05:00 PM
34

I feel like HVM will NEVER ask for sexy pics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:17 PM
18

That beard looks terrible! Has no one told him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 11:12 AM
8

Eww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 11:11 AM
10

How does she not understand that the age gap IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. She was youthful (baby at 18!) when they met. Now that she probably looks older he's trying to remember her glory days when he had groomed her, when she was a teenager. It's just gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:08 PM
4

Same, same. Well, most HVM aren't going to cause you pain (I mean infrequent arguments) and will feel worse just knowing they did something wrong. They'll listen to you. They won't immediately get defensive when you bring up a grievance. They'll thank you for bringing it up and brainstorm ways to fix it so that it doesn't happen again or explain their oversight of what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 02:36 PM
13

Isn't that from Charlotte's Web? Some Pig, Terrific, Humble definitely are what she wrote about Wilbur lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:07 PM
4

That's reassuring!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:03 PM
136

Oh my god. One time my ex asked me that and I said "It's mine" and moaned. I didn't care lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:01 PM
91

I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that they're both fighting over a cheater (who likes anal, eww) is so WEIRD to me. Like...why fight over trash? They both need to level up and find men who respect them instead of treat them like a commodity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:52 PM
1

Mine did this :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:44 PM
174

Both are bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:32 PM
5

Exactly this. I've never been contacted by someone who "changed" who actually...did. Usually after a week or so of talking they'd want to meet up and then try to have sex with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:54 PM
8

You really believe you turning a man down seven years ago was a life-altering event for him? And you don't think he has ulterior motives? You are either dangerously naive, extremely young, or you haven't been in the dating pool for years (married at 20? Found a HVM early?). It is outside the realm of credulity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:41 PM
10

It isn't "better", but I don't think the spark actually has to fade. Mine with my bf hasn't. We have a reasonably passionate relationship, and it is full of excitement and fun. We're very comfortable together though. It's amazing to come home to someone who just gets you, and you don't have to struggle. It's so comforting to be able to face something like the Covid quarantine with a supportive partner. But no. The spark, the passion, isn't gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:42 PM
3

Definitely too nice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:10 PM
19

Height. I'm dating a short man and he is absolutely amazing, wouldn't trade him for anything. I can't think of any "flaws" that are ok. Usually if there's something you note as a flaw, it tends to be a fatal one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:04 AM
49

*doubt* Men always have an agenda. Please don't trust him, and don't go out with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:02 AM
12

Nah, they can't. Source: experience. Also, guys always want to sleep with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:00 AM
11

You don't bother. You don't have anything to gain from being around him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:57 AM
29

This is the sweetest thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:53 AM
22

I refuse to believe this is real. I just can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 06:11 PM
5

RED RED FLAG FLAG ​ Do not walk, but run away. You might not see what we see but this has bad news written all over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 06:04 PM
9

Not with a boyfriend! NEVER with a boyfriend. Husband? Maybe, but you need a lot of financial coaching and guidance and protect your own assets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:55 PM
18

So you had criticisms for the Matrix (obvs) and he thinks that's on par with him critiquing you? Like....unless the matrix is HIS movie (as in directed or starred in it) the two aren't even close to the same. Also guys who like the Matrix are very cringey and way into their own egos anyways. He probably loves talking about philosophy but hasn't even read Hegel yet. Bullet friggin dodged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:59 PM
4

NO. Please read the handbook. NO NO NO NO NO. Don't make me come over there. You don't deserve to put yourself through this. NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:13 PM
57

There is no right or wrong way to be a woman. This is extremely judgmental. I love working, and I don't want kids, but if a woman wants to raise a family at home that is her right. Same goes for a man. You should support other women, not drag them down. This is NOT how we need to behave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:02 PM
4

Usually that just means sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:25 PM
5

I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt but..I mean, everything is closed and personally I wouldn't go out to eat right now or to a museum etc even if they WERE open (too risky). If I wanted to meet someone I'd do something outdoors, not indoors, but I still wouldn't be dating right now in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:27 PM
17

I don't know. With everyone just coming out of quarantine and things still being closed, I'm not sure what an acceptable date would even look like at this time. Normal circumstances this would be an immediate nope, but if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt (do you? Idk if I would) I would just say "that isn't quite my style of date." And leave it up to him to find something else good to do that's more effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 05:19 PM
20

This is very true. You have no idea how good it feels to see my bf support minorities and their fight. He knows how to listen too! Which is the best part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:31 PM
11

It works in the same way Ibuprofen works for my migraines. Barely at all unless a miracle occurs. Is it worth it? Ehhhh. I'm still going to try the ibuprofen and hope for the best, but I don't expect it to and am pleasantly surprised when it works lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:20 PM
11

That's perfectly fine too. I know lots of us can't stand wading through the filth to get there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:18 PM
10

If I got this I would just get up and leave without saying anything and never come back. That doesn't take hours to do in AC, that's like maaaaybe 10 minutes a sign. Plus, the cringe. Oh, the cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:07 PM
6

I just died laughing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:05 PM
77

OOOF. I hope she dumps him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:56 PM
10

Dating apps worked for me, and one got me my current bf so they have their place. True, you have to wade through filth to get to the good ones, but they can work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:51 PM
159

Porn in general is just so gross. I don't understand why women are so ok with men watching it - especially those that spend HOURS watching it, not even jacking off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:55 PM
1

W o w
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 11:28 AM
9

Depends on the area. How reliable is the public transportation? Cities like NYC and even DC - fine enough. I met a lot of working professionals with good paying jobs that use transportation because the hassle of a car makes no sense in their cities. In bumf*ck Alabomaha? No deal. Is he using transportation because he has a DUI? No deal. Is he using it because he can't afford a car? No deal. You have to investigate thoroughly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:43 PM
3

This was good! Thank you for posting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 02:37 PM
37

Please do! She needs help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:20 PM
98

Someone needs to save her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 08:52 PM
58

People lie on social media all the time. To bring up a relevant example: Christy Mack was beaten and almost killed, and her abuse started long before that incident and she posted about how happy their relationship was all the time. Anyone can lie or act happy, and people who post the most on social media typically have the worst relationships (in my limited experience).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 01:02 PM
11

Did he? Where's the post, do you have a link?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 10:28 PM
53

I think this is an older post? I've seen it before
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:24 PM
61

Such a charmer, who can resist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 07:31 PM
92

That's just so cringey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 05:14 PM
12

Yeah, I can relate to this. Why do men have such weird hang ups about periods??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 01:48 PM
9

I've seen it too here. Nothing wrong with wanting rich guys but yeaaah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:53 PM
113

Divorce is the only answer, but I bet she wouldn't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:51 PM
35

WOW. Why do people even get married? He obviously didn't care about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 11:55 PM
39

Jeeeesus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 11:45 PM
3

Depends on if the guy uses social media or not and how regular it is. My bf doesn't have social media (facebook is all but he deleted the app and hasn't been on the site in two years), but all his friends and both of us are in a group discord and he posts pics of us, boasts about my cooking etc. Which is cool. Like...I'm not a secret, he shows me off. I think most HVM will do that. So is it a red flag he doesn't post me on Facebook? I don't think so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:12 PM
64

Same!! Let me know if you want to visit my island!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:01 PM
12

Oh man! Want to visit my island? I'd love some girl friends to play with :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:01 PM
1

Jesus take the wheel before I bang it into his head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:44 PM
5

HVM aren't perfect. If yours doesn't plan dates but does everything else and you don't like dates, that's fine to me but I'm not close to an expert. No such thing as a perfect man, HV or otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:00 PM
33

Right? I never have been able to find any of my younger brother or sister's childhood friends attractive. They're adorable babies to me. I haven't WANTED to think they're attractive but I just go "oh, you crazy kids" instead of "damn wanna tap that".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 03:14 PM
173

The fact they got married immediately after she turned 18 is the biggest red flag to me. How and why is that ok? Sounds like grooming. There's no way they met romantically only after she turned 18. He had to have been sleeping with her before that. The age gap is gross. The fact it's her childhood friend is gross. The fact she's ok with it is just WEIRD and I can't imagine that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:45 PM
24

I was hoping that was sarcasm. Please god, let that be sarcasm...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:43 PM
35

Embrace the tendencies you do have. If you pretend to love a sport, just start easing off it but if you genuinely do love a sport (I love soccer) then by all means embrace it! Just remember it's ok to love feminine stuff, or feel neutral towards it. Take the time now during corona to play around with different girly things. If you do feel revulsion or something to being feminine, don't force it. Just explore it without thinking about men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:36 PM
4

Of course according to FDS that's because most men are low value and they're found in every political party and ideology so take any red flag-ness with a grain of salt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:04 PM
6

I mean, the only moderate guys I've met (small sample size and anecdotal) have really been awful. I'm sure your experiences are different. I just know for me, moderate is a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:03 PM
16

My moderate horror story: go out with a guy because he said "yeah, sounds like we have some different opinions on things but that keeps relationships interesting." And I was like...hmm. Legalize weed and free nonviolent offenders, abortion is fine, non-religious, ok...he doesn't seem that bad, wonder what the different opinion is? Guy was racist and started ranting about welfare queens. I got up and left without saying anything at all. Racism isn't a different opinion. It's just vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:27 PM
20

They know conservative is a turn off. It's kind of manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:07 PM
27

Moderate...ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:01 PM
17

Yeah, no. I get (I guess) that she's talking more about what she expects to give her husband than what she expects from him, but men aren't the only victims in a dead bedroom. I've been with MANY men who either 1) didn't please me, or 2) had low LOW sex drives. There's this weird trope that women are always shrews and "not right now, I have a headache" but I've never once turned down sex and I've been turned down plenty in relationships because men "have headaches" (more likely they jerked it to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:49 AM
19

I showed my bf a screenshot of this clown and he said "yeah, the only guys who are gonna be online dating right now are probably just like this dude. I sure as shit wouldn't be trying to date right now, it isn't safe or healthy. If you're bored and want to talk to someone, call your boomer parents and just TRY to keep them at home. They're as obnoxious as this guy in terms of wanting out. It'll take all that free time off your hands." Straight from the horses mouth. Any guy worth your time is go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 01:59 PM
26

They'd still get pickmes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:43 PM
7

I can't tell what's sarcasm or not here. Some of what he says is FDS, most is definitely not. Like...for me, I would honestly defer to my boyfriend right now about financial decisions. I grew up extremely poor. Parents had no money to manage, no one had a 401k, no credit cards or anything. I learned from my dad what NOT to do. He filed for bankruptcy when I was starting high school and makes God-awful decisions. My mom was a better example but I still only learned, like, great depression style h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 12:21 PM
15

Go ahead and do yourself a favor. Block him. I block indiscriminately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:44 AM
6

Yeah, it isn't good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:42 AM
7

Exactly. I'll bet OP thinks we all are judging her but for me - I LIVED this. I knew at 18 that I was so much more mature than other 18 year olds because I had a job, was paying rent, was in college, was living like a grownup. I was (and still am!) awesome, but I was in no way ready for a 30 year old man to mess with my head. And it happened to me. OP, this has happened to so many of us. You aren't alone. You can get through this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 07:15 PM
2

Yeah, fair enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:44 PM
19

My bad, you're right. Insulted the human race just then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:43 PM
11

My husband (M28) and I (F19) have been married about a month, together a year and a half. First mistake. I know (God, how I know) that you think you're the same, maturity wise. I'm 30 now and I couldn't even LOOK at an 18 year old man and go "yes, that is acceptable to marry". No way. I've worked around 20 year olds and they are still babies - yes, even the "mature" ones. I want to protect them. They have no idea what it's like at 30. We buy into this myth that men take longer to mature so age g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:41 PM
1

I agree, but maybe seeing those downvotes will shock her into opening her eyes? IDK. She needs tough love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:33 PM
35

He's such a dumpster of a human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:29 PM
81

Lizzy, if you see this, thank you for not entertaining him more when he fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:27 PM
2

What is that, even?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:40 PM
7

What does redneck smile even mean??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:38 PM
12

I don't really know. It just wasn't the right time I guess. I had a lot of healing to do from my abusive ex, and I wasn't satisfied with where I was in life. I wouldn't have been giving him what he deserved, and I knew it. I was kind of lying about how happy I was (lying to myself) and I was almost acting like I had youthful exuberance and I was about one missed commuter bus away from a nervous breakdown. I probably wasn't able to verbalize any of it at the time. It took an extra two years to ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:26 PM
7

Eric? In Baltimore. Fifth grade math and science teacher. If any of you ladies run into him, he's really great. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:13 PM
13

I quit seeing a perfectly good man once, before we got serious. Nothing was wrong with him, but right now I can't even remember his name. It was so weird, we were on a date and it felt so normal and right and I was like "shit, if I keep dating him I'll marry him" and I just didn't talk to him after that. He was really hurt, but I didn't have any answers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:08 PM
63

What if you genuinely hate all of them except for the women that escaped Doc Antle?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:11 PM
13

Lack of good role models, abuse, pop culture/rape culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:09 PM
9

Had me going for the first few minutes and then...oh, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:07 PM
36

Clearly a reason he is touch starved. Look at those poor plants in his window! Has he ever thought about watering them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:59 PM
95

Lmao what is this, I love it. His rancid underwear just make it so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:56 PM
24

Agree with the other ladies. It depends on what it is. I think something like forgetting to call when he said he would, you forgive once. Buying you the wrong color dress or your least favorite perfume? Forgive. Forgot to book your hotel for vacation? Iffy, but maybe forgive. Cheating? No, never forgive. Forgetting anniversary/birthday? Sign of a LVM. Talked to someone you made it clear was off limits? Never forgive. Called you a bad name? Never forgive. Hit you? Get him arrested and never forgi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:37 PM
45

She still says she loves him and misses him, so depressingly this isn't over and 9/10 she'll go back to him despite the potential felony he committed against her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:30 PM
14

To me, it isn't concerning. He might not be using his full name on any site though - like, "Nigel James" instead of "Nigel James Thornberry". Idk. I'd try that if you're weirded out. If anything to me, it's a good thing. Shows he isn't into drama and doesn't like spending his time staring at his phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:17 PM
2

Brace yourself before you do this but type "hatchet man neck tattoo" and see what he did to himself. Yes. It looks as bad as what you're thinking. I'm just glad we never progressed past him gifting me snickers bars every day. Lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:12 PM
5

Oh god I remember them. There were a few at my school. One guy I "dated" (if you call it that, freshmen year, he said I was cute and gave me snickers bars between classes for about a month, but literally that's it lmao) ended up getting a juggalo neck tattoo after graduation. Criiiinnnnggeeeee. I graduated 2007 so yeah, mid 2000's is probably when anime and manga were starting to get big.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 06:00 PM
6

I'm not doubting your word. Maybe I just went to a really weeb school and didn't know it. Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:49 PM
20

Maybe it hadn't hit your school then but anime girls were big in my school in the theatre kid/band/emo/stoner groups. East coast, affluent area - so many kids reading manga, learning Japanese, drawing big boob anime girls. Jocks were about the only subset that were anime free, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:45 PM
47

I mean, weebs gonna weeb. I don't think it's generational - I don't know how old "younger'' means but guys were like this back when I was in high school and I'm thirty. Just as time goes on more people have access to this weird shit and feel more secure posting their thirst for it. Any guy who says he likes anime gets a side eye from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:40 PM
2

So poster is clearly an incel male...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:00 PM
78

No baby, what is you doing??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 04:26 PM
2

I mean, sure I guess. But keeping the door open to talk is usually an LVM move that I've seen. Do I want a man who goes "I hate those crazy women"? No. But I also don't want a guy who talks to his exes often, because that typically means one of them still has feelings and in my limited experience that ends up with a lot of gaslighting behavior. Best case scenario for me is when the guy has a few exes, some on ok terms, but he hasn't talked to them in several years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 12:29 AM
43

I figured. They seem pro-porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 11:04 PM
20

I mean, emailing him gave closure to you. He definitely didn't care or didn't even read it. I wouldn't have emailed him but I am so glad you're done with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:32 PM
41

Eeek at the name of the poster. "Glory of western civilization". Sounds very, umm, far right leaning to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:21 PM
2

Seriously? Why
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:00 PM
24

Lots of people don't block their exes (I block the hell out of them) but thing is, if this bothers YOU then yes he should go ahead and block her, tell her to leave him alone etc. It doesn't sound like he did anything intentionally wrong but yeah, I don't trust men who keep things open with their exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 07:46 PM
54

I didn't make the meme but it belongs here Padme was terribly written. She would have been such a kickass character - political leader, resistance fighter, stylish and sophisticated. But no. She had to fall for bad boy Anakin even after he blew up about how he killed all the Tuscan raiders. Not just the men, but the women and the children too. And he acted like a total ridiculous clown the whole time, downright r*pe eyed her and went past her boundaries every single time. And for this she was re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:45 PM
8

Because she has to live with the knowledge she was raped and possibly deal with things like PTSD, STDS, etc for the rest of her life. You never get away from the trauma. Even with healing, you can still have a bad day or hear something walking to your car and BANG the terror, the emotion hits you all over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:19 PM
7

Then don't bother with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 07:58 PM
63

ALSO: You should be thanking him because he showed you this side of himself relatively early. Celebrate. You're now free to find someone actually decent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:50 PM
157

"I cheated because you have too many pets" is definitely a new one. The audacity. He cheated because he is a shit tier asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:46 PM
61

Jesus. The police sound very unhelpful but then again if she said she was fine there's not a lot they can do. You can't force someone to be honest. I'm sorry you're unsafe. Are you in a position to move out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:03 PM
8

It probably depends on the man. My boyfriend has a lot of female (married) friends and he's friends with them and their spouses. He treats them respectfully and they're friendly with me too. Some guys are gross about it, but you just have to weed through them to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 10:49 PM
39

Some rules were made to be broken, babe. spits on hands before touching doors
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:17 PM
70

Ooh He's a BaD BoY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:15 PM
4

I just can't stand James Dobson more than anything, and I see no reason to trust Bundy on anything even if it fits my views on porn. He killed because he wanted to kill. He was a sociopath. He would only tell the truth if it benefited him in some way. Being interviewed by someone with a huge platform does benefit him, regardless of whether he died immediately or not. It shifts blame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:11 PM
4

He just didn't want to take accountability for his actions. Focus on the Family has done a lot of awful things, and Bundy was an avowed Republican. Makes sense he'd go along with this. Porn is awful but it had nothing to do with Bundy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 06:59 PM
151

Never go on a first date to someone's house, for one. I would just straight up refuse and block. That's dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 06:56 PM
10

His porn thing was just a gambit to try to keep him from being executed and shift the blame away from himself. James Dobson is a hack, but had influence back in the 80's and could have worked to get him a stay of execution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 06:54 PM
8

So glad you ladies are talking about this. I'm horrified he's gotten away with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 01:07 AM
11

She's either very mentally disturbed or a spammer. Look at the posts under her username. She doesn't want advice or can't take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:45 PM
23

You've asked us this question like ten times and got great responses every time. Why haven't you taken any advice?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:42 PM
66

So untrue. My bf did care about what I had in my profile and was honestly excited about very specific things in it. It's just the trash men who want sex immediately that ask for nudes or trashy photos of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:45 PM
57

Makes it as easy as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:43 PM
10

This is all by the same guy?? What the literal fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 07:23 PM
4

No
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 11:25 PM
5

Aaaahahahahahhahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 11:24 PM
52

Mine made me a work from home nook, gave me a really comfy work chair, headphones, and made sure we have a game plan for finances if shit hits the fan. We're in a hard-hit state so it's super important to have plans. He also bought me a nintendo switch and the animal crossing game so I can have something fun to do when I'm done with work every day. Seriously, he's great in a crisis. We have food for weeks because we planned ahead (when I saw how bad it was in Washington State) and are stockpiled…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 08:54 PM
21

Hangout/not be serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 08:08 PM
83

And then there's men actively doing things to make life easier for both of you in isolation. Tbh my relationship is only getting better with both of us here, since he made me a wonderful, quiet working area, stocked us up with treats, and made sure we spend time together and get alone time too. We agreed on financial plans for the next six months and we know it's going to be ok. I'm grateful. I know lots of men aren't responsible, are lazy, and ungrateful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:13 PM
15

It was absolutely godsmacking. Some lowlife men were commending him for being a "good parent" like WHAT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 10:57 PM
19

Thank god they removed it. I reported it because I was feeling kinda panicked for her. Maybe getting removed will make him rethink his whole life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 10:56 PM
16

Usually you can share with three or four people, not a big deal. It's kind, but worth a "thank you" not a "wow HVM". It doesn't cost him to share, and he gets to share it for the same cost as what he's already paying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 01:20 AM
13

Why are men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:53 PM
24

Why would you date for a year and never say it Why would you say it first Why was this the first time she tried to talk about it Why ....JUST WHY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:48 PM
84

I wouldn't be his wife if mine talked to me like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:46 PM
66

Snap out of it. He doesn't respect you. I respect you, which is why I'm saying this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:45 PM
17

I have perfected three cookie recipes and did some spring planting :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:39 AM
20

She's probably here for the same reasons I'm on relationship advice sub. I don't need it, but I find talking about is and helping people interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 07:45 PM
6

Ehhh. Not really. They'll try to meet different women's standards. If you insist on boundaries, some men will respect you and do whatever they can to meet you where you are. But if they're shitty they can only fake it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 08:44 PM
54

That's a potential HVM for sure! Perfect gesture, and exactly what we should be looking for dating during the apocalypse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 05:30 PM
17

I remember the first time he messaged me. I felt like I was truly a part of the sub :')
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 05:02 PM
36

NO DATING DURING QUARANTINE. STOP IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 02:09 PM
74

Uh, clean your own place while angry = might be ok. Cleaning HIS place/shared place while angry = definitely not ok. Hell knows I've been pissed at something at work and angrily cleaned my kitchen or done laundry lol. I also channel anger into working out. I think about what I'm mad at, and run at it till I'm worn out. But if a man makes me mad I am not doing him any favors. Just bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:55 AM
17

15 years of this? Imagine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:24 PM
8

My boyfriend is doing everything he can to hunker down, making sure his money is in the right place, planning every possible move he can make to keep our futures bright (I am doing the same thing). We aren't planning on doing anything. No dates, no trips. Just hunker down and wait out the storm. His birthday is coming up and he's told me to absolutely not plan anything or buy him anything, because our money should go to needs and the future. HVM are going to be taking care of themselves and love…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:33 AM
25

"" they think love should be hard. It should be a struggle "" YES. I have seen so many women put this forward and even be proud of going through a lot with their "man". No, honey, love should be easy. Getting someone who understands that and values you is hard. The relationship itself should be easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 03:42 PM
5

SO TRUE. My bf made me a computer nook and gave me better headphones for when I telework. Made sure I had a comfortable chair. Made sure we have pandemic food at the ready. He has done everything he can to make sure that I'm safe and well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 03:35 PM
6

Good job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 12:46 PM
13

I didn't agree with that bit of advice, myself. It seems like too much of an out for men to go "coffee dates are normal" when they're just a way to be cheap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 12:45 PM
8

I'm bi, but have never acted on it. I've only been on a few dates with women, and I loved it but they weren't for me. I'm probably 70/30 in my attraction to men v women. I hate that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:31 PM
20

What kept me in them? Well, for one I was abused as a kid, mentally/emotionally, somewhat physically, and my step-father molested me. So from an early age, I had to rationalize abuse. "Mom loves me even though she lets stepdad molest me...why?" And I think when you rationalize abuse consistently for years, it does make you more vulnerable because you think that abuse is natural and something you overcome as a family. I also drank a lot. I never had an addiction, but I binge-drank every weekend. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:28 PM
73

I know, I love animals. Men? Not so much. I still remember the crow post not too long ago where he cared for her/fed her despite her broken beak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:13 PM
8

Welcome to the revolution. We have cupcakes and flairs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 01:22 PM
2

I give amazing gifts for bdays only. Christmas is homemade, anniversaries and other romantic holidays I make treats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:22 PM
7

What a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:21 PM
41

Every time I see a post from either person about a number convo I just go "whyyyy". Nothing good has ever come out of talking about your body count with any other human. Only tell your gyno.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:00 PM
78

I try to give FDS advice on r/relationship_advice, but then I get downvoted into oblivion some of the time. Plus pickme women hate me too. "OH women can't ask men out? It's 2020, wow you're such a misogynist". "Women shouldn't pay on dates? This is why we hate women."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:57 PM
96

Isn't it though? It's almost like he respects me or something. I will never ever ever tell someone how many people I've been with again. I did this in the past. One time, got judged because my number was too low so "no experience, you'll cheat because you don't know what's out there." Another time, got judged because my number was too high "you just give it up, huh? Wow, wish I could be like that." Wanna know something fuckin' funny? They were the same number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:49 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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