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EclecticBarbarella Archive

View 8 posts and 2,669 comments by EclecticBarbarella on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1105

NICE FOR WHAT?EclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 02:15 AM
377

GREEN FLAG 🟢EclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:17 PM
332

MESSAGE FOR MALE LURKERSEclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 04:01 PM
274

THINGS SCROTES SAYEclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:38 PM
231

THINGS SCROTES SAYEclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:57 PM
208

LESSON LEARNEDEclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:41 AM
126

CULTURAL MISOGYNYEclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:21 PM
90

SCROTES MADEclecticBarbarella/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:13 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,669 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Just block and delete. It’s shitty they do this but this is why I wait to sleep with them. I’m sorry
/r/askFDS07/02/22 02:12 AM
13

If he wanted to, he would. Sadly, he likely got what he wanted and now is doing the slow fade
/r/askFDS06/02/22 05:58 PM
11

Yeah when she started her residency in Vegas that’s when it became even more obvious that she was just an enslaved cash cow to them. Fucking crazy it took this long (and this much publicity and attention) for her to end it, I feel so bad for her. She lost over a decade of her life… I hope she never fucking performs again if she doesn’t want to, she deserves some peace and rest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:14 PM
11

This was one of the first things that made me think there was something really off about her conservatorship. It’s one thing to maybe have someone court appointed who is in a position to help make beneficial decisions for someone who is truly incapacitated and unable to. But when it’s someone who is having sex with her, and benefiting personally from her in more ways than one… it just didn’t feel right, and that was when I started following this situation more closely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:04 PM
25

“Butterflies” for me usually means anxiety and inconsistency, which I’m used to interpreting as attraction because most men are inconsistent and anxiety-inducing lol. I think a lot of women look for that physical reaction when it’s not actually good. HVM and a stable relationship should feel solid, not like you have indigestion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:26 PM
77

I think it strongly depends on the two people engaged and the intention behind it (as with most things). Growing up my mom preached the “feminine/masculine energy” dynamic a lot, but the way she practiced it was toxic and extremely damaging to her and me. She was soft and inviting and welcoming and loving to men who were abusive. She basically tried to heal them with her Magical Vagina Moon Power ✨🌙✨ We have to have strong boundaries, self esteem and a ruthless bullshit meter to leave if it beco…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 02:53 AM
199

That and the look on his face when the dudes smoke detector chirped 🤨😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 02:42 AM
2

I like dates at the Drive In, but I feel like before a guys been properly vetted that’s iffy being that alone. I know technically there’s people all around in other cars but still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 01:58 AM
38

What lol. Are you supposed to be like “oh no, we can do the next one at your place so it’s easier!” This is exactly why I stopped helping guys be creative. You’re just dragging out when they inevitably go back to not being creative because that’s who they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:18 PM
2

In my experience, you can’t 100%. My bffs now-husband cheated on her after ten years together, several times right before they got married and she found out like two months after the wedding. He’d always seemed madly in love with her, never seemed to have any huge moral flaws or issues with anything else. It blindsided all of us. Even in hindsight, the only clue that he wasn’t 100% in was that it took him a long ass time to actually propose. He was extremely up front about how he wanted to marry…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 03:24 PM
46

They totally had sex and he knows what he did was scum my. Block him now so you don’t even see the sad attempt if it happens. He deserves zero response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:57 PM
111

Movies are a terrible first date IMO, you’re just sitting in silence next to him for two hours. I personally steer away from anything involving booze as well. Also don’t know that I’d want to be stuck on a boat with someone if it turns into a shitshow, although I LOVE the idea of a romantic rowboat ride for like a 4th or 5th date when I know him a bit better. I like the museum idea, that ones been on my list. A guy took me out mini golfing once when I was younger. I regular golf and it was fun t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:47 PM
2

If he calls me again, I absolutely plan to. And I’m going to tell him my hourly rate has increased (which it has, I got a FAT raise because I was as super underpaid at that company)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 04:29 PM
36

I just quit my job because I realized how I was being taken advantage of and how LV my old boss was. In true LVM fashion, he’s telling people he “wished I would have talked to him before leaving” (I know him outside of work as well, a mutual friend told me this). I talked to him numerous times, before I realized he wasn’t going to do anything because he wasn’t listening, so I found another job and left. He’s also expecting me to put in free labor as he didn’t give my replacement the full time to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 02:52 PM
3

My point is that the guy should be putting in effort before you tell him he needs to, so it’s coming from him and not from your expectations. You should have standards and expectations and communicate them, but his actions should be coming from him, not as a result of you spelling it out for him. Performative action absolutely doesn’t last forever, I don’t understand why you’d want to waste time going through those motions only to find out he’s actually who he said he was originally the entire t…
/r/askFDS18/07/21 02:00 PM
12

I would argue that “letting a guy know how to treat you” sets the stage for performative actions designed to bamboozle you into thinking he’s not an LVM. If he gives you an LVM offer to start with, he’s an LVM. Just because he’s smart enough to backtrack and figure out something not lame if you press the issue, his first offer was still LV. That is who he is. If a guy asks you out for coffee, that means he’s the type of guy who thinks a coffee date is fine. If he then asks you out for a dinner d…
/r/askFDS18/07/21 04:09 AM
2

Sure, feel free to message me (I’m super busy this weekend and upcoming week starting a new job so if I may not reply right away but I’d love to help if I can ❤️)
/r/askFDS17/07/21 06:45 PM
37

Men like to treat it as a numbers game because most guys, if they have 100 women as options will pick one of those 100 women (whichever one is most attractive, least annoying, most beneficial). If I’m given 1000 options but I don’t actually like any of them, I’m going to pick none of them (and then roll my eyes when people ask why I’m still single). Maybe it’s easier if I can go on OLD and match with 1000 dudes (maybe not because then I have to filter through so much crap to maybe find the diamo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:49 PM
41

Oh absolutely, and there’s also a lot of guys who think that a woman should be grateful (aka put out) for getting some male attention. There’s really no winning, but like OP was saying, a lot of people present it as “things magically get better when someone is hot”. There are definitely some things socially/culturally that are “easier” but it isn’t a magic fix.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:47 PM
41

Yeah it didn’t take long to realize that just because guys were approaching me and were “interested”, they didn’t ask questions or really listen when I would talk. There was no interest in anything beyond what I look like
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:43 PM
10

Stoic, emotionally distant, etc, that’s what we were programmed to recognize as “love”, so it’s what feels familiar and “right”. I struggle with that as well, to the point that I’ve broken up with men when I was younger because they were too nice and too stable and not emotionally “exciting” enough. That type of childhood actually physically changes the way your brain neurotransmitters function, unfortunately it has to be undone through slow and steady work, and a lot of reprogramming the way yo…
/r/askFDS17/07/21 04:27 PM
194

I had a friend when I was younger who was a model, all she got were guys wanting to have sex with her and walk around with her on their arm like a trophy. Being attractive doesn’t change the quality of men attracted to you, only the quantity. I had a bit of a glow up in my mid twenties and went from being pretty invisible sexually to having guys pursue me hard; they don’t value you more just because they want to stick their penis in you. If anything, there seems to be an inverse outcome where me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:08 PM
19

You say you were trying to vet for emotional empathy, while that they may not be the best way to do it you definitely achieved your goal. He had the emotional range of a teaspoon, but he used it to shame you for not being the same and unfortunately it was internalized. It sounds like the guilt is coming from his words sticking in a loop mentally, the only thing you can do if you’re prone to that is to redirect thinking When you think “If I hadn’t been too much like he said, we would still be tog…
/r/askFDS17/07/21 03:37 PM
6

I’m all for taking male rape seriously because 99% of male rape is also done by men. They act like it’s some gotcha to distract from our issues (mEn GeT rApEd ToO) when in reality, they’re just reinforcing that a lot of men are rapists. And unlike them, I also want the occasional female who does it prosecuted as well. Sleeping with kids? Just as bad as when a man does it. They cry that women get a pass when in reality THEYRE THE ONLY ONES GIVING THEM A PASS (“where was she when I was in high sch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:17 PM
19

“I haven’t found a guy that I can tolerate for longer than a month or two. I’d much rather just do my own thing than try to force something”. Said with a smile 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:19 PM
476

He 100% took advantage of the fact that she wouldn’t say anything. Despite the men in the comments saying “maybe he didn’t know!!!”, this was a shit test to see if he can keep using her like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:17 PM
584

So by their own admission, 99% of men think rape is a joke? NoT aLL mEn (only 99% of them)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:12 PM
300

“He doesn’t work, spends all his time watching our young girls run around naked with their friends at our remote jungle compound when he isn’t downloading CP and is super loving.” 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:02 PM
11

I think a lot of the focus on appearance is on the wrong parts. I don’t usually wear makeup either (I do occasionally get my eyelashes done or get a manicure or something for a special event because I like how it looks but I can’t stand putting on/taking off makeup daily and I don’t like how it looks on me. I don’t think I’ve ever worn it to work a day in my life). For me, leveling up appearance wise was figuring out how to eat healthier and drink water so my skin looks clear and healthy. Figuri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:05 PM
170

I used to work in male dominated fields (construction, communications technician, truck driver etc) and I was consistently the only woman for like ten years of jobs, the shit they say when they’re “alone” is hair raising. And that’s just the shit they’d say with me around (I did my best to kind of become invisible and get them to leave me alone because it became exhausting constantly having to fight to just exist). Some of them would even say it to me and have no idea why I wasn’t high fiving th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:34 PM
41

When I was 12, my mom started dating someone she knew from work. She would take me over to his house with her for sleepovers (?!?), when we lived with my grandparents and I could have just stayed home with them and not been dragged around to some strangers house. The one time I started crying and saying I didn’t want to go (he made me super uncomfortable, thankfully not in a creepy-sexual-predator way, he was just really critical and aggressively mean to me because I was too headstrong and he wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:28 PM
17

One of my coworkers went to college with her and somewhat keeps in touch, she said the show edited Aparna to make her look way more severe than she is in real life. I’m sure they wanted to play up that appearance because they knew it would be somewhat controversial. Can’t have a woman with a mind of her own and standards lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:51 AM
5

The last guy I dated would play maybe one or twice a month, for an hour or two. It wasn’t an obsession, it didn’t impact his life and the few times we played together (staying in on a rainy day or something like that) he would pick a game he knew I love, would let me play most of the time and again it was only for an hour or so until he would suggest something else. I think the “Gamer” vs “someone who occasionally plays video games” is a big distinction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:41 AM
1

I read a post on here awhile back where the lady said she went through the ones who had already swiped on her, weeded out profiles strictly, let them do the initiating and that she had been dating someone who seemed HV so far that she’d met that way. I don’t have time to sit and swipe endlessly for guys who may not be active or into my type or whatever. Definitely something to think about when my area is completely reopened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:37 PM
3

I’ve never really tried OLD although I’ve been lurking on one of them recently to try to get a feel for it as stuff opens up in my area finally. I feel like in the major metropolitan areas, if used properly (with extremely strict vetting) it might be an okay way to supplement getting out and meeting people in day to day life? Not planning to sit and swipe for hours a day tho, I don’t have time. When I was younger and going out more I had no problems meeting people, but even then they weren’t HV.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:15 PM
30

This just made me laugh so hard I woke my dog up 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:01 PM
94

My mom was (is) a fixer. She gives out so much energy to men who don’t even want it (or think they need it) and then she is exhausted and does nothing for herself. I am just thankful that instead of learning and absorbing those patterns, I saw how fruitless it was and went the other direction. Having “fixed” myself (or at least started down the path to trying to heal) I can confidently say, no one can fix another person. You have to want it for yourself and want to do it yourself, and even then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:00 PM
64

Meetup is completely dead in my area, I’ve been trying to find some good hobby groups and there’s nothing. I also don’t love the idea of meeting someone in a hobby group. The last two guys I dated, I met through a group I participated in frequently and after I ended it, they aggressively went out of their way to make it unpleasant and awkward for me to the point that I just left because it was exhausting trying to endure it. If I had a group that I truly enjoyed, I wouldn’t risk ruining that for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:30 PM
83

I can look back at my life and see so many points where I didn’t get what I thought I wanted, and it ended up being the best possible thing. What I “wanted” would have been horrible in the long run, or would have kept me from getting an opportunity or achievement that ended up being what I actually wanted. I wanted to marry the guy I was dating at 18 (spoiler alert, it would have been TERRIBLE in so many ways) and he fucked around and pissed me off bad enough that I was just done. After he reali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:21 PM
2

This is normally my take away too. Once you’re posting on Reddit asking for advice about something like this…. It’s not a great sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:28 AM
460

That was wild from start to finish. And they say women are emotional 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 08:52 PM
40

This is how the patriarchy gets women to self-police each other and uphold their bullshit with even less effort on their part. We need to refuse to participate but too many women toe the line because they’re scared of the (very real) backlash if they don’t
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:21 PM
9

This was my first reaction. My second reaction was to die a little bit at the response to your comment that says “wtf is AIM” 👵🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:23 PM
22

You’ve only been with him for six months but you made it decades without him prior to that. You are stronger than you think, you just have to accept it. You say you get validation and a self esteem boost from saying you have a boyfriend, it can’t be very validating if he’s abusing you in front of friends and family? Being with someone who does all these negative things you listed here does not ultimately boost your self esteem, it just wears you down. Being with someone who boosts your self este…
/r/askFDS10/07/21 04:09 PM
88

I didn’t even need to get that far, the minute she described having appendicitis as “feeling a wee bit poorly” I knew she was a goner. Chick is minimizing APPENDICITIS that landed her in the hospital for surgery, and I would bet money it’s because he tells her she’s dramatic and blah blah blah so she just stifles her entire existence for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:41 AM
55

Yeah I don’t get the Michael Cera appeal AT ALL. He’s like the ultimate blank stand-in for every nerd who feels entitled to a hot girlfriend just because… I mean really, Juno? The entire movie was basically “holy shit, Michael Cera impregnated cute, quirky Ellen Page, let’s applaud him while simultaneously judging her for being prego”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:37 AM
55

My exes favorite movie was Scott Pilgrim also and I remember watching it with him (I’d never seen it) and thinking “wtf is this crap? Like… they just battle for her love and she has no say in the matter, the exes are just like in control of her romantic future and as long as needy main character wins he gets her as a prize??!?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:13 AM
4

Yeah some of the view points presented on this sub as factual/brilliant are just…. not either lol. Really blows my mind the “reality” that some people live in. men have a desire to protect women engrained in them There is a huge difference between women being infantalized and men wanting to protect us from a place of caring. Just… wow
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 03:50 AM
9

They mistake women not being traditionally allowed to do something with women not being able to do something. OP also seems to be ignoring the vast social structures that are propped up (unpaid) by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 02:09 AM
52

I have a friend who is married to a guy that’s a pretty high level engineer at a large, well-known company (he’s got patents for designs he’s made for them over the last twenty years and he travels a few times a year to represent them at massive industry standard trade shows). He worked longer hours when they were younger (we live in an extremely HCOL area and he made good money for them to have a good house and vehicles and money for their kids to go to good schools and do activities and stuff)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 04:53 PM
172

28-32 was when I really started coming into my own. I feel like a totally different person now, if I’d stayed with any of the guys from my past, I feel like I would have been encouraged to stay in that same space and it would have severely restricted my personal growth (or tried to). Maybe it’s just because I came from a really unstable childhood and my personality became “whatever won’t get me screamed at or threatened” but it’s been wonderful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:01 AM
17

He needs to take time to process the relationship on his own. He should not be dating, and you are wasting your time if she is still this big of a part of his life/bitterness. He is 35 years old and acting like this, this is a HUGE red flag, I would not continue to invest time with him. He is 35, he is not going to suddenly learn no matter how much you are supportive or try to point things out. I’d also question if she’s actually a narc if this is how he’s acting about a relationship that from y…
/r/askFDS06/07/21 06:27 PM
97

This drives me nuts. It’s all over Reddit, men whining about not being able to “show emotion” when the “emotion” in question is like five hours of gut wrenching sobbing to unleash severely deep seated trauma that no poor girl is qualified to deal with. Go to a therapist like the rest of us. Like bro, I’m fine with you being sad your grandma died or you expressing love and affection. I’m not fine with you using emotions as a controlling weapon or unloading 35 years of repressed trauma at me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:54 PM
144

Can this dude even build a fence tho? I’m guessing no, does she need him to dial the number for a fencing company? Men want to feel needed but then don’t know anything useful 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:45 PM
2

Try to reframe your thinking from “what is wrong with me that he would treat me this way?” to “what the fuck is wrong with him that he can treat someone wonderful like me this way?” The only thing within you that you need to examine or work on is why you allow men into your life who treat you like a placeholder (your wording makes it sounds like it’s a recurring issue, if it’s just one dude then just learn from the signs and make sure you vet and that anyone else you date doesn’t treat you like …
/r/askFDS06/07/21 03:30 PM
5

I moved around a lot in my twenties and, while I agree that wherever you go there you are, sometimes a fresh start and a change of scenery can be refreshing since it sounds like you aren’t expecting it to magically fix everything and are treating it as an adventure and an experience, not a way to magically solve problems. Moving away to a new place to continue schooling seems like a really good way to make an internal decision about moving forward with your life, investing in yourself and what y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:24 PM
3

My male psychiatrist five years ago wrote that I had borderline personality disorder and extreme depression. When I was doing intake with my current psychiatrist, after talking to her for a bit about how I feel like I had undiagnosed ADHD (since diagnosed and properly treated, doing GREAT) causing some anxiety she asked me if he’d discussed that with me because she didn’t see any symptoms and she was confused why he’d put that in my file and I was like “what?!?”. Women aren’t guaranteed to be be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:37 AM
8

Kind of tangential but how did you find him? I’ve been doing PT to rehab from a pretty serious back/hip injury and I’d now that I’m really starting to feel better I’d like to get into a gym to start doing some core building and strengthening exercises but it’s been so long since I injured myself I’m starting from scratch and want someone who kind of specializes in that type of rehabbing, not just lifting heavier and heavier things. Is that common for trainers or do I need to be looking for a cer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:32 AM
26

Yeah it’s hard to grow up in a world that presents reality as being one way, and then society is constantly gaslighting to reinforce that. The day that I stopped thinking “why does she treat me like this?” and instead started asking “why do I let her treat me like this?” it was like a freaking lightbulb went off and my whole world flipped upside down. It was so simple, and yet had taken so long to make that break. And it’s something I can explain til I’m blue in the face but if you don’t get it……
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:28 AM
39

“I don’t want to shame him for wanting to murder me and fuck my corpse”. This is where sEx PoSiTiViTy has left us. It’s no longer “I am a woman, and am allowed to be sexual without being shamed”, it’s “I don’t want to shame him for murdery corpse rape, I feel like a bad girlfriend”. I’m out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:46 PM
81

I had a miscarriage with the last guy I slept with. I was on birth control and I did not want to have a kid with him so I was not mentally devastated like I would have been if I was trying but I still had a lot of extreme hormonal changes and it scared the shit out of me reminding me I can still get pregnant on BC. I made a vow that the next person (only person) I have sex with will be someone who, if that happens, would be a good dad and a supportive partner (as I don’t entirely know how I feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:44 PM
14

My mom used to watch her show when I was younger, she talks a good game but let her make clients run bullshit games because they were paying her well. She’d kind of call them out on it, after they’d already done exactly what she’d told them not to do… Not very effective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:40 AM
1

Omg I can’t believe more than one guy does the belly button thing, WTFFFF is wrong with these dudes?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:47 PM
11

Breast augmentation can be extremely dangerous in numerous ways (required anesthesia, risk of leaking or internal scarring, they need to be replaced every ten years to prevent becoming toxic) it’s just not kind on your body. I have larger breasts (equal parts genetics and I was overweight as a teenager so they grew very quickly and stretched) and since losing a lot of that weight I feel like they’re extremely saggy and deformed. I hated them. I wanted a lift and/or reduction for so long. But eve…
/r/askFDS30/06/21 03:33 PM
5

Yeah I was late to that party, but after dating two of them in my late 20s I fully agree. Which is a shame because physically I’m totally into that big, tattooed, masculine look, but they both ended up being nuts and it’s just not worth it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:20 PM
7

She wanted a new car that she could afford from her kick ass job and went out and bought it and he’s mad? Is she supposed to consult him first? Never buy anything new? God I hope she dumps this dude and continues on with her fabulous life, she sounds like she’s one of those people who knows what they want so they make it happen and she needs to lose him before he manages to neg that out of her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:14 PM
15

Compliment/connect via a BF or husband (even if you have to make one up). “Oh that’s such a good point, my boyfriend always says that as well” “This shirt would look great on you, you have the same coloring as my husband and this shade of green always looks amazing” “You should try this item, I got it for my fiancé a few weeks ago and he absolutely loves it” And plus one for the advice about wearing a fake wedding ring. I used to do service calls in people’s houses and it always seemed to bypass…
/r/askFDS29/06/21 08:12 PM
8

So he’s ignoring your previous communication in favor of what he wants (which is to get you drunk)? Why do you want to go out with him?
/r/askFDS29/06/21 08:05 PM
35

I had a BF who would disregard bodily boundaries I was very clear about in a non-sexual way. I hate to be tickled, it makes me very uncomfortable. He would tickle me and then laugh it off with “but you’re so cute when it happens.” He also would continuously try to touch my bellybutton (which I also HATE) after he did it once and I squirmed and made a big deal about not wanting him to do it again. It was like the reaction was a sign that he zeroed in on. He also would make a point to tell me abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:54 PM
29

Every guy that’s ever told me he was going to rock my world ended up being horribly disappointing in bed. The ones who actually did, didn’t brag about it because they knew their actions would speak for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:50 PM
8

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. I do think it can be used as an indicator of whether he’s serious but there are plenty of men who get married and still don’t act right. I think marriage should be a personal decision. Definitely heal whatever blocks you have when it comes to commitment, but I don’t think that marriage makes sense in every relationship, and it’s usually pushed as the default for women finding happiness and f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:46 PM
76

He can scrub my pans any day 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:42 PM
13

As I've gotten older, I've realized how much change happens year after year. Maybe this isn't the case for people that had stable upbringings and were confident in who they were from a young age, but from 25-28 I changed DRASTICALLY, and from 28 on I feel like I'm coming more into my own and becoming more confident with every minute. I thought I knew what I wanted at 28 and five years later I realize I had no clue, but am aware moreso now of how little I actually know and how much I have to work…
/r/askFDS29/06/21 02:39 AM
53

And I open the door for him Does she think that if I’m walking into a building, I’m just going to slam the door shut in front of my SO and hold it while he beats the door with his fists and struggles to get in? I feel like a lot of this goes without saying but since when is it “special treatment because I’m a woman” wanting a man who cares and puts in effort and isn’t abusive? Where are these poor men, bending over backwards for all the women to their detriment? They don’t exist except in her pu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 09:04 PM
96

We’re here to cheer but you scored the touchdown. You did the hard work and stood up for yourself and I’m so happy for you. Please be safe, if you have anywhere else to go, maybe stay with family or friends for a bit please do so. This is a very dangerous time for women leaving a bad relationship as it sounds like you know. The weirdly good news is if you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up. It’s probably going to be scary but most things worth doing are. Now that he’s not leeching …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:57 AM
12

“I don’t do nice first dates, I’m tired of women using me for a free lunch” Which translates to “all it takes is one lunch for women to realize they need to gtfo and I’m tired of paying for lunch with no tangible reward to my penis”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:45 PM
16

Lmfao yes, wrong Woody 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 07:06 PM
143

A lot of the time, men seek full custody as a way to continue to abuse the woman for trying to leave. Woody *Allen did it to Mia Farrow when she sided with Dylan re the abuse claims against him. He said she was “hysterical” which has always been man-speak for “having feelings I wish to invalidate and dismiss”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 05:25 PM
148

When I was doing FWBs in my 20s it was because I was seriously emotionally dead inside and wasn’t capable of emotional connection with another human being (or myself). As I worked that out in therapy, I lost the ability and desire to have a “relationship” like that. But it gave me a lot of insight into how these men operate, and are capable of operating this way (they’re dead inside and have no empathy for human beings, especially women. Even the ones who aren’t full on abusive are lacking that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 05:21 PM
5

Had my maternal grandparents not been SUPER supportive, my mother and I would have been fucked after she realized my dad was a deadbeat and wasn't going to change. We had a stable place to live, food on the table and my grandma would set a little money aside to take me to the bookstore, or take me out to hot chocolate occasionally, it felt like we were well off even though looking back I can see that they didn't have a ton of money either. Im thankful every day for them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:54 PM
2

The EB posts are hilarious, even that subs sick of them. The last one I saw, comments were like “you go and post comments that you know aren’t allowed on that sub and then get mad and post here complaining you got banned? Sounds like youre the entitled one….” I was dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:33 PM
14

I’m looking forward to trying a local dance studio I found right before covid closed everything here, I’ve always wanted to learn to swing dance and it had great reviews for its beginner classes. I just hope there aren’t a ton of dudes who are obviously just there to meet women, that’s always so creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:26 PM
15

I was gonna say, it’s cuz they’re on good behavior trying to get it in still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:52 AM
149

Make sure to call in a welfare check so police can make sure he doesn’t kill himself. That should be noted if he tries for custody (which is usually how abusive men react to situations like this to punish the mother).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:49 AM
8

And if the stepdaughter is 12 years younger than her, that means the husband is significantly older than her. “Lemme buy you a camper so you can gtfo of your own house instead of reigning in my kid and grandkid so you’re not stressed as fuck”. SuCh A goOd HuSbAnD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:00 PM
4

I think it goes back to the main focus of a lot of the key points of this sub. When you are truly leveled up, you are your own foundation and support and no longer rely on men to be your sole source of love and validation because you give them to yourself. At that point, it doesn’t really matter if one LVM slid through the vetting and managed to get a date that ended badly, it’s just a blip on the map. “Wow he was shitty. That says absolutely nothing about me or my worth, on with life” and they’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 04:44 PM
30

Most of the times I’ve seen “femcel” used on this sub (outside of the few recent posts from mods discussing this) was women describing themselves, it wasn’t being used as a directed slur.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 08:45 PM
5

My cousins are all wonderful young men; super sweet and supportive to their gfs/wives, the ones who gave kids are involved and enthusiastic parents, even when they were younger they never really dated around, they would only have proper relationship with girls that they were interested in and cared about it as people. And it’s every single one of them on that side of the family, there’s like 7 of them and they’re all amazing young men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:16 PM
179

This is why money does not a HVM make. I know a lot of well off men who think that throwing money at their children counts as “parenting”, and makes up for not being a good dad. Very much not the case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:13 PM
88

They’re just mad that she got “alimony” from someone she never married because he wasted her time and then started dating one of her hot dancers. She will always be a queen lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:11 PM
19

So he’s got 6 more years until youngest is 18. That’s at least 6 more years where he has (and should have) two huge things that take priority over you and your relationship. And honestly that’s how it should be, obviously guys who are shitty dads are a huge turn off. And maybe he’s really good at juggling and making time. But the one time I dated a single dad, I couldn’t deal with only having a partial relationship. And I’m not even one of those people that wants to spend 24/7 with someone, I no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:02 PM
3

I am super not into artsy dudes so no worries there lol. You’re right about the car shows (I used to be pretty involved in the local scene pre-Covid, but that also works in my favor because I know so many people there i can sus out who’s married through acquaintances) but from what I’ve been told my local area has a ton of young single dudes who golf. I’ve been meaning to get back into it anyway (haven’t played since my grandpa passed as it was our thing) so even if I just find a good group of w…
/r/askFDS19/06/21 06:42 PM
4

I wish they gave the option to filter out ones with no bio (even though all the scrotes would just add like one character to make it fool the filter) and I wish their paid version filtered out shown likes by set criteria. A friend and I played around with it to see what the experience was like and while I like the idea of only selecting from people who have already swiped right on me, there were way too many to go through and none of them were weeded out by my set filters. If they did those two …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 02:53 PM
65

Stop doing work for men. You don’t need to text him back, you’re choosing to. You don’t need to find a better way to shift effort back to them, you’re choosing to. I would block as soon as they try to push the date planning on you, don’t wait until they’ve argued and been rude and blah blah blah. It’s a waste of time, he made his first offer and it was a LV one. He’s set the tone.
/r/askFDS19/06/21 02:30 PM
26

I’d argue you shouldn’t even say it in the first place. We’re not in the business of correcting men’s behavior. He made his first offer, and it was a LV one. Thats how he is, anything after that is is doing work to make them act right. I wouldn’t be turned off by the fact that he was rude when I asked him to pick a place, I’d be turned off by the fact that he didn’t just pick a place. The blocking should happen before the rude conversation, it would save time 😌
/r/askFDS19/06/21 02:28 PM
93

“Spiritual” always means “let’s have a lot of non-commital sex”. And if they’re “empathic” it either means they’re super in tune to women’s emotions in a predatory way or they’re narcissistic and just think whatever they think you’re thinking/feeling must be what you’re actually thinking/feeling, to the point where they’ll argue with you when you actually try to express thoughts and feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:25 PM
88

Loving reminder that HVW practice self love and forgiveness. You know things now that you didn’t know then. Now that you know, you’re making adjustments to take better care of yourself in the future. You’re just trying to find your way out of the patriarchal gaslighting like the rest of us. You’re doing the work even though it’s hard and you’re doing great, don’t beat yourself up ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:23 PM
41

I’m planning to get out more to do activities I want to do, and things that I would like to do with potential friends/HVM that I may meet while there. Prior to covid, I spent way too much time working/commuting (which I’m scaling back so I have free time to get out and do things) and I was hanging out with someone who always wanted to go to bars or clubs, which is not really my thing (nor am I into guys who are into bars and clubs) but I would go because I enjoyed hanging out with her. Once thin…
/r/askFDS18/06/21 03:50 AM
49

It’s a vicious cycle. A lot of women brought up in abuse around LVM seek that out unconsciously because it’s familiar (emotional/physical trauma literally changes the way your neurotransmitters function and causes physical changes in the brain) and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Through no fault of their own, it can be hard to break from that “reality”, and somehow LVM can spot women with prior trauma like they’ve got a neon bullseye on their forehead to try to take further advantage. We…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 03:42 AM
190

Number 3 is also gold for weeding out the psycho clingers. I once was talking to a guy (very beginning stages) and didn’t respond for 3 hours because I was in back to back meetings (which is irrelevant, I could have been watching paint dry and still am not obligated to text back ASAP) and he lost it and laid out this attempted guilt trip about how he’d “tried to get to know me but apparently I didn’t have time”. Nope, I don’t have time for that. I was so glad I didn’t waste unnecessary time on h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:36 PM
25

My ex-friend was like this. Every guy was the one, so perfect, her soulmate, it was definitely forever. Eventually it was like “girl please, you just met the 15th, not the 1” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:02 PM
36

Oh man, if a guy was thoughtful enough to bring me hot cocoa and marshmallows in bed (I LOVE hot cocoa and marshmallows)…. I don’t understand the brick through the window? Is he launching projectiles at my head from outside to knock me unconscious so he can rape me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:50 PM
90

Oo the ones on RA where the post is clearly about someone abusive and all the men are like “everyone is so quick to say break up! If women broke up with every man that wanted to fuck hookers in their newborn babies crib, no one would procreate and it would be genocide, and all women’s fault! SMH. Learn to communicate and be understanding”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 02:18 PM
10

I tried OLD almost as a joke when I was hanging with a girlfriend because I was trying to decide if it was worth actually trying once covid went away and it’s literally unusable in my area. You’d either be swiping regularly all day every day to get through even a fraction of the guys on there, or you pay for the premium account and still have to wade through too many guys. 1,168 likes in three hours. The app doesn’t filter those out based on my set criteria so I’m still swiping through guys who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:47 PM
34

Yeah my areas been rough especially with covid, we had heavy restrictions along with high cases, and I help care for an elderly relative who was extremely high risk so I was being extra cautious until we both got vaccinated two months ago (still being cautious obviously but not as worried). Definitely subscribed to the opinion that anyone HV was not trying to date/spread covid during shut down so really took the time for me. Prior to that, I was getting out a bit and dating when I met someone bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:44 PM
79

I’ve noticed a lot more activity on that sub lately, and I’m here for it. I would love for it to have the same amount of participation for things not specifically dating-focused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:25 PM
110

This is where I’m at. There’s no vow of solitude/celibacy, but I’m not going to sink mass amounts of time into looking for a man to the detriment of my own life. If/when I do find a guy where there’s mutual interest, I have tools to vet and see if he fits into my life in a positive way and will have been working on leveling myself up so i am in a good space to see if it works out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:22 PM
64

“Women should have standards and not sleep with these men” followed by “what do you mean you want to be taken to dinner instead of walked through a field before I try to sleep with you on the first date?!?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:16 PM
60

This is why I’m not friends with guys anymore. I had several over a period of years and they all slowly revealed themselves to be just like this. I got tired of the let down and feeling objectified so I just stopped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:13 PM
24

I have a lot of simmering rage toward my mother for the choices she made regarding my upbringing. I’ve worked on it off and on through therapy but resolving part of it only seems to bring up another layer so it’s a work in progress I guess. Not only did she drag me through hell as a kid for her own benefit, I had grandparents who were begging her to let me stay with them and she refused because she was so sure she was doing the right thing and didn’t want them to judge her for not being able to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:08 PM
39

It’s a mix of “they can’t afford it” (see any one of the dating sub posts about how it’s SO expensive to take a woman out on a proper date, especially if the man is OLDing and literally just asking out anything with a pulse in the hopes of getting laid, which is not guaranteed for their “investment”. Some of them literally are broke trying to get someone to support and take care of them even though they can’t do that for themselves) and “they don’t want to” (see any one of the dating sub posts a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:26 AM
65

Yup. Men want to go back to the “good old days” when men were revered just for having a penis and even the losers got a wife because we couldn’t open bank accounts, or get hired most places, or survive economically without a man. They had an unspoken pact that they’d all keep us in our place and they’d all benefit in some way but they got greedy and shitty and couldn’t even hold up the “manly financial” end of it so we got a foothold in the economy and ran with it. Every time I get a shitty PM o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:22 AM
117

Society uses the threat of social ostracism to keep people (women) in line. Humans are social creatures by nature, and overall women tend to be more so because emotional/social connections are not disallowed by society the way they are in men. We gain a lot of our emotional foundation and societal value from connections with other women, and to a lesser degree men (they’ve geared it more towards their approval than actual connection), and speaking out against the patriarchy causes the patriarcha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 09:44 PM
304

And then in the next breath they claim that a HVM is someone who’s rich and that’s it. The whole “wanting a guy to take us out to dinner” bit really seems to stick in their craw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:42 PM
66

That sub is horrible. Every so often there’s a thread about “surprise bdsm” (aka sexual assault) where a woman talks about a guy hitting, choking or something like that without discussing it first and the LVM rise from the depths of hell to defend “how could he know that you don’t like it?!? All women like alpha chads who beat them in bed!” and that she should “communicate” to the guy who just choked her that he should have politely asked first. Comments about how someone choking you out of the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:41 PM
43

Ahh yes, the “Age Gap Baby Trap”(tm). A tried and true move of the desperate and old. This is you always take care of an extra, secret layer of birth control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 03:48 PM
40

Male reproduction has largely been facilitated by rape, coercion, subjugation and terror for thousands of years. Those who got to pass on their genes were the ones that were ruthless enough to do so. It still happens in a lot of areas to this day. Again, "not all men". But a lot. While I agree that a lot of it is also the upbringing in a patriarchal society that gives a false sense of importance, I don't think that explains all of it. Too many DONT resist the siren song of the patriarchy. Too ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:11 AM
59

I won’t date a guy that says he wants anal at any point. They always “accidentally” hit the wrong hole, and there is no scenario in which I am going to enjoy anal. I mentioned that to a guy once and his response was “that’s a lie, it’s really not hard to know where your penis is about to enter”. It’s always about porn and power, it makes them feel like they can violate us. And it usually means they have a small dick or death grip syndrome, and don’t get normal sexual satisfaction from a vagina b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:35 PM
37

Performative sexuality. You’re not supposed to actually be sexual, you’re supposed to be a porn star virgin. But you’re supposed to pump him up and be his IRL porn star.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:29 PM
19

He pressures you for sex If he pressures you for anything. I dated a guy who would ask me for pics of myself randomly, which I’m normally not super into. Not even sexual pics, just “hey, send me a pic of you right now”. Pretty innocuous…. But when I’d be like “dude, I’m busy at work” or even “I’m tired and don’t feel like it”, he would push. Not super aggressively, but he wouldn’t just take the no and move on. Another ex would do similar things (I hate being tickled and hate having certain body …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:28 PM
22

Reminds me of that post that was going around where some incel was like “privilege is being able to fake a headache to get out of sex” and the response was “privilege would be being able to say NO, not having to fake a physical malady to not be coerced or obligated to have sex!!!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:23 PM
17

I used to spend a lot of time around men because my hobbies tend to be male-dominated. They were acquaintances, not friends. They were all hoping I’d sleep with him, or weren’t really interested in getting to know me as an actual person to be friends with because I wasn’t a guy, a lot had a level of condescension there. I had one friend back in the day who seemed to genuinely care and be a good friend despite the fact that I was a woman, but he ended up having other issues that ended the friends…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:34 PM
2

It’s really quite impressive that they manage to get it this wrong. I agree you should not put women on a pedestal, we are very much human beings, who want to be treated as such. Not like a Madonna, not like a pure angel… The idea of pedestalizing (not a word, but I’ll role with it) a woman just because she has a vagina you want to ejaculate in is weird af. However, the answer is to acknowledge that women are human, not walking, breathing glory holes, while still treating them as you would a hum…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:42 PM
3

I also am not a fan of meeting guys at hobbies or recreational activities, which is another one I see touted quite a bit. If something goes bad, you have to be ready to walk away from it if the guy decides to occupy that space and I prefer to keep my hobby spaces and circles private. I also dated someone I met through a club I was in awhile back and when I ended it, he went aggressively out of his way to make it so uncomfortable at every meet up I just left and let him have it. Now I keep my spa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:03 PM
18

He was emotionally manipulative, had pretty severe mental issues that he refused to seek treatment for and I’m pretty sure he was a porn/masturbation addict from the long time he was single; he didn’t have ED, he could stay hard but couldn’t orgasm with normal sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:22 PM
38

It’s also… super frowned upon where I live, I had a friend in AA and he said the groups here will ask you to leave if you’re trying to date around like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:44 PM
82

So… he’s willing to meet you when he’s already made the trip for someone/something else, but not willing to meet you if he hasn’t. He sounds so impressive (/s). Expecting you to drop everything to see him for coffee, or drive hours when he’s the one wanting to initiate a date… thats the spoiled princess attitude. You did great
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:23 PM
61

This is why I don’t subscribe to the “dating men in your social circle that your friends know is inherently better than OLD or meeting someone new”. You get no tangible benefit from this, especially if your friends aren’t also vetting ruthlessly. Men are men, and thinking that because he’s a friend or an acquaintance or someone set you up that he’s somehow “pre-approved” is dangerous thinking. I see a handful of people on this sub repeating that advice ad nauseam and it’s a fallacy. I dated some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:21 PM
57

“White Boy Summer” sounds like it reeks of cheap frat beer and antibiotics for STDs 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:09 PM
65

My friend used Hinge and said this was all she got too, dudes inviting her to start the chat. I was like “I don’t understand why that’s even an option”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:09 AM
41

Right? I need to figure out how to find a coven, that parts been hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:58 PM
27

A friend and I were tipsy one night and made a Tinder to see what the state of our city was like. Pretty generic profile, a few semi-decent pictures (I’m not hideous by any means but I tend to dress pretty low key so I’m not flashy) a short bio. 1,168 likes in three hours. Granted I live in a huge metropolitan area with a lot of single people, but it was still a staggering number. My friends husband was there with a friend who was actively using Tinder and he overheard us laughing about it, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:39 PM
164

I also find it a bit infantalizing. He says she didn’t send signals that she was in a bad relationship but he feels the need to intrude and assume he needs to play savior? It just feels… off to me. Like some guy hit thirty and thought “I am now responsible for the women”. If she made comments asking for help or it seemed super suspect, maybe? But he just randomly asked her if she’s being abused?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:16 PM
8

In my experience, a lot of them just sound off. They tend to comment the way they think women talk and it sounds forced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:13 PM
146

I’ve also wondered, women constantly are saying “I look years younger than my actual age” but maybe we just look our age and men actually look years older than they’re supposed because of no self care. We’re always being judged with male as the default
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:55 PM
77

Ive kicked guys out halfway through because it was SO bad. One guy couldn’t stay hard but was still trying to jackhammer like we were in a porno and I was just like “yeah, you can leave….” He was so surprised, bless his little heart (and penis)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:01 PM
399

Dead bedroom stories are always the guy complaining that the wife doesn’t fuck him despite the massive issues in their relationship. Women shut down sexually, men could still fuck a woman they want to murder or are repulsed by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:17 PM
24

This is so amazing, I’m so happy for you. Im sorry you had to be exposed to that but I’m SO glad you’re not going to waste time or energy on some racist fuckwad who doesn’t deserve you. He’s the one with issues, braaavo on not getting sucked into his little mind games and seeing through it 🥳🥳🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:37 AM
139

The guys with insemination fetishes are the worst. It isn’t about procreating, or them having boys. They get off on their ability to force invasive, life altering physical changes on a woman against her will with his sperm. It’s vile listening to them talk about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:34 AM
17

Get anything you can SAFELY retrieve from his place if you absolutely need to while he is not there. I’m talking like… your dead grandmas ashes. Anything that can be replaced, leave it. You can buy more clothes, makeup, whatever. There was a very visible post on another dating sub where the woman went to break up with her boyfriend (over less than what yours did to you) and he locked her in the apartment and raped her for hours before finally letting her go. Nothing material is worth the risk of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:16 PM
143

My friends husband can’t plan a date or pay a bill to save his life but when he wants to plan and pay for a cross country trip for him and four friends for something he wants to attend, suddenly he’s strategically booking a trip like it’s nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:02 PM
43

Sexual coercion, birth control sabotage, baby trapping…. There’s a reason these old dudes often work to knock up the woman before she can leave. Maybe she made a conscious decision to have them, maybe she didn’t 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:17 PM
159

I know one (exactly one) couple very similar to this. They told me one time when I mentioned that they’re adorable together (they’re in their 50s now and have been together for like 45 years) and the husband very seriously told me “there was a time when we’d drifted apart and were struggling. But we talked about it and decided that we wanted to reprioritize the relationship and we both committed to working on it and focusing on each other and we were able to make it work. And every day I’m so th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:15 PM
174

When my grandma takes family photos she used to make the SO that she didn’t think would last stand on the outside so they’d be easier to crop out of family shots if there was a break up 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 05:31 AM
15

The original series was more geared towards children (although I still find it enjoyable and it definitely had a lot of solid strong characters). I think the remake Crystal is less kiddie like from the bit I’ve seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:32 PM
57

At some point, patriarchal capitalism backed those women into a corner where the only thing commercially profitable was their body. I don’t blame them for that, I feel sorry for them. I dislike when they then try to spin it like everyone should do it too because it’s “empowering”, but at the same time I understand the mental gymnastics the human brain will do to not feel abused and trapped. Easier to say you like it than to admit you’re being violated every day. It sends a horrible message to th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:29 PM
16

I think if women are going to use dating apps, it at least gives an honest appraisal of what to expect so they can protect themselves and use them to their advantage. I’ve never seriously OLD, I made a profile once to see what types of guys were on it and it looked… unpromising, but I do occasionally hear stories that at least sound successful (although I question most women’s definition of a successful relationship so maybe not lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:10 PM
16

Men should never be your #1 priority. Even if he isn’t weird about the dog. And insulting her for being a good pet parent based off of the Reddit ramblings of a jealous dude seems uncouth to me 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:06 PM
28

I will love as much as I’m loved sounds like being obligated to “love” the nice guy who loves me so much. “I will do what I want” There. End of poem lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:33 PM
32

Yes that’s the one. It was geared more towards younger dating crowds, but still very informative
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:50 PM
22

In order to quit an addiction, you need to give yourself time to detox. Like someone else said, make a list of all the reasons you left. Something(s) was bad enough that you’ve broken up with him multiple times, despite the pretty words he says to get you back, you have to trust that in that moment you knew what was best for you and acted accordingly by ending it. Block him EVERYWHERE so he doesn’t have the opportunity to reel you back in. I also recommend journaling; instead of texting him, exa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:28 PM
131

There’s a doc on HBO (I think?) about the dating app business model and how it isn’t beneficial to women. One of the psychologists even talks about how Bumble passes more emotional labor on the women, it was surprisingly spot on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:10 PM
16

“I started mouth rping her, but she definitely broke up with me because *she wanted to be able to manipulate me and was mad about that”. These are the genes that should not be passed on. I said what I said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:09 PM
6

I think preparing me for the lifetime of things I wouldn’t get if I stayed with him. He was really good at subtly negging, nothing super explicit but like little things to get my confidence down so I’d stay with him but not expect anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:48 PM
156

It’s been interesting watching the subs movements over the last couple years. All of the subs that are open to everyone had a moment where men tried to railroad over everything and they’ve slowly started swinging back as women push back on having their experiences dictated to them, and women aren’t willing to stay silent about it anymore when they’re bullied about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:41 PM
56

My last ex got me nothing and then spent like an hour telling me all the stuff his female coworkers got from their SOs. I thought he was just clueless, now I know he meant to do it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:26 AM
30

Also, contact lists/names mean nothing. I knew a guy awhile back who saved his cheating partners names under male names so his fiancé wouldn’t think it was weird if “James from work” or “Brad from the gym” texted him “hey what’s up?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:21 AM
19

It’s impossible to love someone that you don’t know. I’ve had a few guys try to love bomb me and it was just like “you don’t know me, how can you know you love me?” Men want to feel loved but not feel love themselves. I think most don’t know how to. I’m starting to think it’s equal parts nature and nurture, over time men who were more aggressive and detached were either securing wives or procreating via rape and forced birth due to lack of abortion access. Genetically that starts to take hold. R…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:48 PM
41

Every woman I work with who has a very young child has taken meetings with a baby strapped to her chest. To his credit, one guy I work with who has a kid has done so also (but there are plenty who have them).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:43 PM
3

And sometimes it’s not even an ask. A lot of times it’s just expected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:31 PM
16

Yet when the friends are gone, they cannot retain that emotional memory. Moved to the back burner by more urgent matters, the friends, however much they are treasured, drop off the radar screen. Sadly, women with ADHD may not notice the growing separation from their friends. Friendship maintenance requires checking in and asking, “How are you?” even if not a lot has happened since the last time the friends talked. This is the exact thing I struggle with. I know so many women who have maintained …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:30 PM
36

“When women get more choice, they don’t choose me”. It’s the same as the guys who “miss the good old days when women were women”. Aka when women were economically enslaved and forced to pop out babies for men because they couldn’t legally have a bank account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:21 PM
54

Liking another girls picture (and I’m assuming we’re talking about thirst trap pics here because I couldn’t care less if my bf likes his coworkers picture of her family at the zoo one time, but obviously not gonna be cool with him liking her OF pictures every day) is the social media equivalent of telling your girlfriend (and the public). Ignoring why he needs to look at these constantly…. Why does he have to like it? He can’t just enjoy in peace and move on? Why does he feel motivated to give p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:57 PM
79

Man-trums. How have I not heard this before? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:22 AM
3

Thanks for the info, this is what I thought would be the case, and I had a feeling lesbian porn made for women was also made by women because they’re obviously best poised to know what women actually want. Hopefully there’s also less exploitation and sex trafficking, I would hope women would be more cognizant of that and make it ethically. It’s sadly unsurprising that women aren’t looking for aggressive, gratuitous porn like what’s presented in girl on girl videos made for male viewers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:10 AM
123

“I only partake in the cinematic exploitation of women when I don’t have a live one to exploit.” I don’t care about the “cheating” or whatever they claim women are “jealous” about. I care that they’re participating in an industry that promotes sex trafficking, sexual coercion and rape, and don’t give it a second thought. (Tangentially, if anyone happens to know, I’ve always wondered if lesbian porn made for women is different? I’m assuming there’s lesbian porn that’s made for male viewing and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:25 PM
161

Throwback to my all time favorite spam quote from lurkers on this sub- “Not having sex with LVM is GENOCIDE!!!” Because apparently there aren’t enough HVM to keep the species going. Oh, and I don’t care 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:59 PM
297

“Porn addiction” hiding waaay in the back, so typical. She’s got anxiety from childhood trauma and he’s a wreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:28 AM
426

My dad does this. I don’t know if he’s just really good at feigning indignity or if he’s delusional enough that he believes his own bullshit but listening to his version of events (that I was personally there for) is like listening to someone telling a fairy tale. You’d have no idea he was lying if you hadn’t been there personally and witnessed completely different events than what he’s talking about. For some reason my step mom continued to believe his crap and me and my brother would regularly…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:55 PM
12

I tend to be anxious in relationships, and it wasn’t until I dated someone who was very stable and very forthcoming about his feelings (no games, no gaslighting, just up front about liking me, wanting to move the relationship forward etc) to realize that it isn’t so much even me, men these days are just anxiety-inducing and I was sticking around for it and letting it guide me. Completely changed what I look for and accept these days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:37 PM
13

I read somewhere that past season 1, all of the women were from season 1 casting and had been fully background checked but they couldn’t find decent guys who actually wanted to get married so they basically were just trying to put bodies in the show. They knew. They just didn’t care. Although I think Greg and Diona (I think were their names) were actually a solid couple. He seemed serious about making it work and actually being a good husband, but he was literally the only one. That same season …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:06 AM
96

There was a post on some recommended sub asking if it was sexist that the guy wanted to marry a woman who was a sahm and kept up the house. Naturally Reddit trips over itself to assure him it’s totally not sexist that his top (only) two desired qualities were that she cooks and cleans. He basically wants to put a ring on a line in housekeeper/sex slave
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:08 PM
34

I watched a bit of it (I don’t know which season) out of morbid curiosity but had to stop because one of the guys was verbally/emotionally abusive and manipulating to the women he married and it was giving me anxiety that no one was saying anything and the “marriage experts” were telling her to communicate. One of the other couples on that season had a “pro” (but not really) basketball player who was a textbook narc/sociopath married to this poor girl who just kept crying about “what was she doi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:42 PM
12

Once you start lowering your standards, it never stops. Every friend who has told me my standards are unreal sounds absolutely miserable when they talk about their relationship. Like maybe I just don't understand this trope of talking about your spouse like you want to murder them.... but that's not what I want in a relationship. People get really weird when I answer the "why are you single" question with "I can't find anyone I can stand to be around longer than a few weeks." Apparently all men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:45 AM
3

So she dates fixer uppers.... Gross "If you're dating me, I'm pushing me to become a better me. I'm on my ass about my money, my education, my future and my goals. I ain't about to get distracted fucking with you. My goal is to elevate my mind and prosper with or without you." Fixed it for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:31 AM
31

The first four are giving me white supremacist vibes. It’s possible that all his first girlfriends happened to all be blonde and white and it’s unrelated…. but I’m thinking not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:04 PM
14

I rewatched a lot of this show recently as an adult and omg. Daria is basically “How to be ‘Not Like The Other Girls’ 101”. Quinn had moments (mostly because she cares too much about what guys think of her) but girl had standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:04 PM
7

While you can’t do anything about who you’re related to except maintain distance if they’re harmful to you, you are not obligated to have male friends. Boys, especially at that age, are mostly LV. If you find you don’t like them or think they’re good people, you don’t have to continue to be friends with them. It’s entirely possible they dont have any good qualities. Truly nice, genuine people won’t treat you like you’re “the other girls friend” or devalue you based on skin color or ethnicity. It…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:09 PM
17

I’m going to sound so old right now, but in many ways I blame the internet, or at least the patriarchies ability to weaponize it. Sure in the 90s we had media, tv shows, magazines targeted at girls, some songs released that had crappy messages. But it didn’t seem universally coordinated the way it does now. At least the experience I had, people were still kind of genuine and it wasn’t this wholly manufactured “reality” that people were plugged in to 24/7/365 constantly telling everyone how they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:57 PM
28

Freudian theory was the basis for pretty much every psychologist that got their degree from like the 60s-80s or 90s I think? My psych professor said when he went through Freud was IT when it came to psychological theory/training. Now it’s based more on scientific research and neuroscience but they still teach Freud as one theory, and they do not cover this part of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:09 PM
23

Right?!? After, I had this moment of “he made that look so easy, and it should be.” It’s part of why I see red when I read posts on dating subs about guys just going in for the kill and then the comments are always men lining up to white knight for the dude like “how could he know she didn’t want to be kissed/slapped/choked/whatever?” or “women always say they want a man that’s in control”. There are sexy ways to get consent but most guys just aren’t there. Unsurprisingly, that guy was also one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:52 PM
85

One of the most attractive moments ever, I was out with this guy and at that perfect “first kiss” moment, he pauses and says, “I really want to kiss you right now”, followed by an appropriate pause while he looked into my eyes for me to either give consent or say no. It was really hot having him verbalize the desire but not just go for it and try to pull me towards him or force himself on me. I’m obviously a firm fan of consent but it’s rare that it’s handled in a way thats that smooth in my exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:42 PM
245

I miss that split second when “sex positivity” meant women shouldn’t be shamed for having and enjoying sex. Then it blew right past to now you’re not ‘sex positive’ unless you support women having all the sex, all the time, online and in person, for money and for free and they push it as empowering
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:32 PM
10

Whoo with feminists like this, we’ll have equality in no time 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:02 PM
15

Used properly, anger can be a powerful motivator when we need it most. You will heal if you give yourself time and love (and keep him blocked so he can’t weasel his way back into your life when he feels like it) but my advise would be to keep a solid memory of this anger. Don’t hold onto the anger itself, that only harms you. But if you ever hit a point where you’re reminiscing about any good parts he may have had and you find yourself wanting to reach out and say hi, remember how angry you are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:42 AM
7

Women get assaulted in countries where they wear hijab and are covered head to toe. School administrators overly policing women’s clothing shifts the responsibility onto them, when they should be addressing any boy who takes a spaghetti strap as an invitation to be inappropriate. I understand where you’re coming from and definitely don’t blame any woman who tries to minimize male attention by looking a certain way but when the people in charge make girls responsible for the reactions of men, tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:50 PM
227

My senior year of high school we had a “drag day” for spirit week and one of the guys showed up in a mini skirt and crop top (I believe he lost a bet and his best friend got to pick out the outfit). Everyone kind of laughed at first but by the end of the day, all the girls realized he hadn’t been spoken to once by the teachers and was still wearing it, even though the clothes were violating like five different dress code rules and they’d sent girls home or made them change into PE clothes for fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:33 PM
34

Especially once you’re married. Legally that phone is 50% mine 🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:52 AM
17

BLOCK HIM. He will continue to intrude unless you remove that option permanently. You control access to you, and he gets none. Congrats on the breakup! Enjoy single life and spend time spoiling you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:45 PM
23

I think within a year = he should know he wants to marry you and have made this clear Engagement (proper w ring) = around 1.5-2 years. It takes time for people’s true colors to show. For there to be disagreements where you see how he handles them. For there to be adversity in life so you can see how he handles it and overcomes Actual engagement id do a year, maybe more if you’re planning an actual huge wedding. No longer than 2 years. I’ve dated someone for ten months when I was around your age …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:18 PM
153

And yet all I hear is straight, white men crying about how they’re being “cancelled” and “silenced” because people aren’t forced to tolerate their racist, sexist, misogynistic bullshit like they used to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:15 PM
36

It’s not a critique of the person, it’s a critique of the adherence to “choices” and actions that are rooted in performance for the patriarchy. No ones saying you can’t take a selfie and put it on IG for your friends and family to see. But when you spend three hours getting dressed up and putting on makeup so you can take a selfie with your ass sticking out, are you doing it for you? What do you gain from that? That should be discussed, and trying to silence women by saying we’re “hating on the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:54 PM
541

It’s always a super hot, super functional and competent wife married to the “fun husband” who’s being nagged to death because she wants him to act like a functional adult and partner, and he just wants to be freeee to be an irresponsible jackoff and hang out with the boys and be cOoL, and why can’t she just let him be cool, she’s so unfun! There, I just wrote the next five Adam Sandler or Seth Rogen movies, Hollywood can thank me later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:08 PM
36

And this is why we look for someone who’s also always improving. If you keep working on yourself and he stays the same, eventually you’re going to outgrow him. I’m watching it happen with a couple I know right now. A friend was like “but he’s still the same guy she chose 30 years ago, she knew who he was” and my response was “yeah he’s the same at 55 as he was at 25, he’s done no growing while she has. I’d have an issue with that too. You can still have the same personality while maturing as an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:26 PM
2

Yeah I was growing up right as people started getting home computers and I remember looking up “sex” because I was curious about it and the internet was kind of new and mysterious. But after seeing it I was just kind of like “oh ok” and went back to playing Neopets and chatting with other kids on video game chat rooms (before they were full of predators trying to groom kids). That’s so sad it gets people addicted that young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:57 AM
5

On the teenagers sub?!? How sad, how young did he start if it’s been “quite some time”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:52 AM
3

17 year old girls are a ways off from having the emotional maturity and life experience to navigate a relationship with a predatory older man. I have no issue with teenagers dating each other, or even having sex with each other provided it’s fully consensual, no one is “infantilising” them. Me saying that I don’t view them as sexually mature/attractive when I am in my thirties is not the same as saying they cannot experience sexuality with an age appropriate partner who is also learning with the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:02 AM
2

Yeah I had a moment after reading another post on this sub- I wanted to get into even relationship counseling to try to help women get out of the toxic relationships, definitely not to help men continue the cycle but I know a lot of women aren’t ready to break that cycle and don’t actually want to hear that they need to empower themselves. They go to relationship counseling for a magic fix to make their crappy relationship work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:54 PM
5

I’m in school to become a psychologist, and have been seriously thinking about what I want to specialize in. Part of me wants to go into a field where I can help young girls with stuff like this but I am… honestly kind of selfishly scared that I won’t be able to mentally handle all the bad shit I’ll see and I struggle with feeling guilty that part of me wants to go into something cushy like marriage therapy to not be exposed to it (when obviously these girls don’t get a choice whether they’re ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:23 PM
25

30 year old men going after 17 year olds are doing it because they can spot the mental immaturity and power imbalance, not in spite of. They definitely care, but in the way that makes it what they look for. For me it’s not even about “accepting” the power imbalance it’s being able to stomach it. I am in my mid thirties and the thought of dating someone in their teens is revolting to me. They’re not adults. They’re not sexually attractive, because they’re not even sexual. They’re children. Even t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:18 PM
64

Every time I’ve broken up with someone who I was unsure about, the breakup itself and how they handled it 100% cemented that I did the right thing. They’ve all turned into dramatic bullies the second they realized they weren’t getting anything else from me, and showed themselves. Men are (usually) nice when they want something from you. How they act when they’re not going to benefit off you is how they really are. Like I’m sorry, are the tantrums and hysterics supposed to make me want to come ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:04 PM
17

Once I had sex with someone I genuinely liked and had a connection with (at… 28… jfc it took me ten years to have sex with someone I genuinely liked?) it completely changed what sex was for me. Up until that point it had felt technically good (sometimes, they weren’t all winners lol) but I had no idea how good it could feel emotionally and mentally when that part of it is there. It’s what killed one night stands for me (along with therapy, I was only able to get to that point because I’d worked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:24 AM
14

Another post here said that when men have sex too early in a relationship it kills the bonding hormones but if you wait and they’re able to build them up slowly as they spend time with you, then orgasming makes them kick in similar to how they do for us. Not sure how that science works exactly but I’ll have to look into it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:35 AM
24

I’ve had one guy that could too, but he was a total fuckboy and was not boyfriend material. I don’t even want to think about how many girls he’d fucked to figure out how to do what he did (I don’t even fully know what he did). Thank god I always use condoms 🥴 And honestly, I came but it wasn’t even that good because it was like he was doing it to me, we weren’t doing it together. I was younger, deader inside and didn’t care at the time but I couldn’t do it now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:32 AM
6

But then when their mistress gets knocked up, they have no problem getting her a secret abortion at the finest Christian hospital in the state. It’s hypocrisy and control, nothing more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:32 PM
14

Not a fan with the long hair down but I googled to try to find short hair pics and he’s actually rocking the man bun. That is not an easy thing to pull off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:34 PM
8

That would make sense since (IMO at least) I would only get married if it made legal sense (we were planning to co-own property or have kids or other legally entwining things). I don’t plan to have kids and don’t know that I want to cohabitate with someone 24/7/365 (which would mean my own solo property) so I don’t know that legal chaining is what’s most beneficial in my situation (although I haven’t fully looked into it since it’s never been pressing to find out, I’ll do the research if it ever…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:11 PM
74

For me, the subtle hating and the judging would be a dealbreaker. That isn’t just LV decisions for themselves and their relationship, that’s active animosity toward you. I have a friend who’s currently going through some shit with her husband that I consider LV, I strongly disagree with her choice to stay with him but that’s her life, and she’s not doing anything morally wrong that to me speaks to her character (letting herself or her child get beaten or abused or anything like that). But she’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:05 PM
10

My mom originally gave me her last name (she was never married) which I love (that side of the family raised me and it’s my grandpas last name, who was my rock as a kid) but then she hyphenated with my dads last name when I was like 12 and he was “making an effort” and wanted me to have it. I HATE it. It’s been low priority but this made me realize I don’t want his last name on my masters and I need to get the process started. I’ve also considered just dropping the last name entirely and going b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:35 AM
1

When talking about people voting for a candidate, I’m pretty sure the fact that they voted is implied? Not sure how one can vote for Trump if they didnt vote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:23 AM
1

I’m talking about the 2020 election against Biden, which he didn’t win so I’m definitely not saying “it’s white women’s fault he got elected” (since he didn’t). Plenty of other people voted for Trump as well, he was really good at getting backwoods racists motivated to show up and “be heard”. My point is solely that a lot of women were fine voting for a candidate who was pretty openly anti-woman because they didn’t feel like they were included in that. But if you want to talk about 2016- a highe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:34 AM
86

There was a post awhile back with incels complaining that women refusing to sleep with “average” (read low value) men was “genocide”, and my first thought was “even if that statement wasn’t super over dramatic, so what?!?”. Im not obligated to have kids to continue the patriarchy, and if the human race dies out because y’all can’t get a woman to sleep with your nasty ass, I don’t particularly care. There is a long-standing tradition of threatened ostracism when a woman’s actions or words threate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:58 AM
54

I’m curious, since marriage isn’t as common, are the people living together long term with kids doing so with the expectation that they’re essentially common law married? And has it always been like that traditionally or is this a newer phenomenon? It’s always interesting to get a non-US perspective and hear how things are other places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:47 AM
4

When talking about people voting for a candidate, I’m pretty sure the fact that they voted is implied? Not sure how one can vote for Trump if they didnt vote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:58 PM
25

Feminist movements have a long history of selling out WOC when the patriarchy offers white women enough crumbs to be enticing. The percentage of white women who voted for Trump is appalling (55%, up from 2016). This isn’t even a partisan thing, no woman should be voting for a man who brags about sexual assault, supports organizations that consistently try to undermine our bodily autonomy and rights, and openly pervs on his own daughter, but in their minds it won’t happen to them if they toe the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:56 PM
37

In the words of Bitch Planet (which I highly recommend if anyone is into graphic novels), “Dawn, I promise to love you as long as you’re young and exciting, or no one better comes along.” (right after he’s had his first wife killed for being old and boring)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:41 PM
31

I’ve never worn makeup consistently. My mom never wore it or taught me about it and I don’t really care for it (it feels weird on my face, I hate the amount of time it takes every morning and night to put on and take off, and I low key try to stay out of the male gaze because it makes me feel vulnerable and gross when they’re staring and trying to hit on me). When I was younger I got a lot of comments about it, mostly women asking me why I don’t wear it but a few men would make comments about ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:25 PM
40

Ah yes because nothing says “slavery” like being able to quit when you want, and “freedom” like being legally chained unless you go through an expensive divorce
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:27 AM
3

I had a friend awhile back who was a car model. Every time one of her pics would get posted on some companies IG, she would get a deluge of guys writing her and they were all like this. Like months and months of one sided rambling in the hopes that she would one day respond and want to jump on their dick, even though most of them weren’t single. It was NUTS (and was the beginning of me being seriously put off men)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:57 PM
18

Some incel literally called withholding sex “genocide”, I almost peed myself laughing. They’re so ridiculous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:41 PM
1

My issue isn’t even so much the anxiety. It’s the fact that he doesn’t manage it like an adult and leaves her to force it whenever it gets so bad it affects their lives (just like she manages everything else in their adult life). He can manage to plan a trip for four to a cross country truck event for him and his friends but loses that motivation when it comes to making sure their rent check is sent out, or scheduling a doctors appointment, or handling an issue with one of their dogs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:38 PM
17

Well said! It’s not a romantic partners job to keep me happy, but generally people who care about their romantic partner want to do things that make them happy because they like seeing someone they love happy. I don’t do nice things for friends and family because I’m obligated, I do then because I want to and I see opportunities. I should not have to tell a grown ass man that he needs to not ghost me for days or violate obvious boundaries. He needs to be mature enough to recognize what acceptabl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:35 PM
1

Yeah he also has really bad anxiety (although I’d be anxious too if I was sneaking around doing shit for 8 years straight) that he only “manages” when she makes him, I just… don’t see the appeal. She talked a good FDS game when we were younger but then majorly settled with this dude and now tries to do the whole “you’ll never find anyone who meets your standards” bs with me. I try not to be mean but I’m like dude that’s fine, I’d rather be single…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:24 PM
3

…. She stayed and helped him “work through his sex addiction” and she’s now pregnant. And the sad thing is, I don’t think she’s healed or trusts him, she’s constantly harping at him and just seems miserable. But she wanted a baby and she didn’t want to start over dating, which was just sad to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:36 PM
2

If you block and delete, then you decide what is going on and you can go back to being ok with it leading to the end of the relationship. He has controlled this entire scenario, and as the cheating asshole that is not what he should get to do. He does not get to decide when you go NC and when you start talking. My advice, get MAD. Seriously, write out a list of every single thing he’s ever done, with CHEATED FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS in like bright red all caps at the top. You can’t shake off feeling…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:01 PM
28

There’s been several posts on this sub that were like “I don’t understand why he’s suddenly changing” and when we dug into the timeline it was right after they got married. They think we won’t leave. I agree with the “no forever GF” stuff and that a guy should know within a certain time frame that he wants to marry you but this is definitely still a concern of mine, some of them are just psychopathically good at hiding stuff. A friend of mine was with someone for 8 years and, while there were a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:45 PM
43

I had a friend through a club I used to be a part of who seemed really HV. He was really smart (had an engineering job at which he had created several mechanisms for the company that were patented) but was never condescending during discussions (especially noticeable since the club was for a male-dominated hobby where most men are absolute assholes to women who try to participate, and he was very knowledgeable but never a dick about it like a lot of them were). His wife was also a member (it was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:50 AM
405

Do everything in their power to have sex with women AND TRY TO BULLY THEM INTO NOT USING A CONDOM BECAUSE IT FEELS BETTER *FOR THEM**, OCCASIONALLY GOING SO FAR AS TO TAKE IT OFF SNEAKILY WITHOUT THE WOMANS CONSENT Also if Roe V Wade gets overturned, I’m going on a official sex strike. I’m already on an unofficial one because guys suck where I live and I can’t find one I want to sleep with anyway. But if I lose any more of my bodily autonomy *no one is getting laid anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:26 AM
134

40% that will admit to spouse abuse (and recognize that what they’re doing is in fact abuse). Which means the real number is likely higher
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 09:53 PM
9

I was just telling a friend that I’m so tired of dealing with men at work. Every demanding, primadonna, nitpicking request or comment comes from the men (usually a certain group of them). Women- super easy to deal with, always have their side of stuff handled, very accommodating if there are issues outside of my control. But the men? Literally want me to be a mind reader (no joke, I have two guys who regularly hit me up about things that they never even brought to my attention in the first place…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 07:02 PM
5

Women tend to present as ADHD-PI (primarily inattentive) but because medicine is geared for men, most doctors look for the classic “hyperactive troublemaker” signs. Check out the adhdwomen sub, it’s a great resource for hearing women’s perspective on kt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:58 PM
12

My mom basically ignored signs and refused to test me because she was anti-medication. They tried to deny me an adult diagnosis for ages on the basis that “it wasn’t present as a child” and i could not get them to understand that all the signs were there (all three of my grandmas kids have it so she was familiar with the signs and kept trying to get me evaluated) but my mom is just nuts and hates doctors
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:56 PM
21

I just went through this battle. Took me five years to get a proper diagnosis, and ultimately it only really ended up going through because with covid my doctor wasn’t able to keep requesting “screenings” and “tests” (no in person services except emergency) and had no choice but to prescribe something finally. I’m so functional it’s almost scary, and I’m pissed at all the time I spent trying to compensate for a legitimate illness that they basically refused to treat. If this is even somewhat how…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:53 PM
30

Even back in the day when I was friends with someone I had previously wanted to date, I wasnt friends with them in the hopes of bullying them into dating me. I still enjoyed their company and had accepted they didn’t see me that way. Life went on, I found other people to date and was happy for them when they did as well. I can’t imagine complaining about it like they had done something negative to me by not wanting to date me, that was their choice and such is life. I refuse to date or be friend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:36 PM
60

Never mind that the bulk of funeral expenses are for the actual casket, plot and burial, it’s not like people are spending thousands on a party. Are they supposed to throw their relative in a nearby dumpster and then go get something off the dollar menu while they tell stories about the person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:32 PM
31

💃🏼🥳💃🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 07:51 PM
108

Easier to have one child than to have one child plus a grown male one. I do think it can be beneficial for children to have both parents model healthy behavior but realistically, most parents aren’t in a healthy relationship and I think it’s more detrimental to have a crappy dad than no dad at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:39 PM
2

I was so happy, you have no idea. She struggled with self esteem after a truly abusive BF in high school (like showed up at school with a gun threatening to kill her when she tried to end it level abusive, thankfully he told someone who told the school and they stopped him before he was able to get on campus) and while this guy wasn’t physically abusive he was still kind of an ass. I worried for a second she would just kind of go with it but nope. She was just like “k, bye” and moved on and I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:29 PM
9

My mom gave me her last name because she knew she was going to have to raise me alone and didn’t want to have to deal with the names being different. Aaand then she believed his “I’m totally going to step up” bs when I was older and added his last name as a goodwill gesture, which I hate to this day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:13 PM
49

So she wants a dinner date… No one is obligated to take her to dinner. Just… move on with your life if you’re not interested, or she’s an “ugly bitch” or whatever. I don’t care if someone’s requirement is a solo flight to Mars for a first date. That’s on them, and it’s none of my business. You do you booboo. But they can’t have standards be contagious or it’s going to further hinder their attempts to get laid after doing a lap around the local park, so better waste their sad life tearing it down…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:26 AM
42

If he had put aside 5 dollars a month in every month they were together, her ring would have cost twice what he spent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 06:22 PM
3

Arm/hand around the neck is always vaguely threatening to me. Like he’s ready to choke her out if she tries to run away or another guy hits on her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 06:16 PM
25

There are companies out there with better culture but they are admittedly rare. My own company is a bit frustrating (I don’t get discriminated against like that but I do feel like more of the work automatically falls to me because I’m competent and will do it and most of my coworkers are infantile morons) but a company I work very closely with has somehow done an amazing job of only hiring men that aren’t like this (or can at least keep it fully hidden). In the two years I’ve worked closely with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:55 PM
141

My friends ex told her that he’d decided he was poly and wanted to give it a shot. She was like “ok, we’ll both start dating other people as well then” and he flipped out and told her he only meant him. She was like “uhh thats not ‘poly’ that’s just you getting to cheat on me when you want?” and dumped his ass. The other girl he’d wanted to be poly with ended up saying she wasn’t comfortable with the poly thing after all and he’s now still monogamous. Shortly after, my friend reconnected with a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 08:13 PM
104

I forget where but I randomly came across a post awhile back about ex-FDS women and why they left. Every. Single. Answer. Was “I couldn’t find a HVM quickly enough so I settled and didn’t want them to give me shit for it”. And then they’d espouse on how they “actually still believe in a lot of the core tenets” (because they know we’re right) but they settled for someone who plays video games all day, doesn’t do housework and can’t satisfy them sexually bUt TheYrE hApPy because they’re not single…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:24 PM
456

They teach other men how to continue the abuse. We teach women how to spot it and avoid it. They cry that we are committing “violence and genocide”, while some of them are actually committing violence and genocide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:28 PM
33

And it’s always like right when I meet them, these aren’t guys that I’ve dated for long periods of time (since I don’t date white dudes normally, not specifically for this reason but it ends up disqualifying a lot of white guys)! These are like dudes hitting on me at a bar or running into me and trying to flirt in a store. Maybe it’s some secret dog whistle to try to find a white supremacist wife that I’m just not aware of? Or maybe they don’t even see it as what it is. Who knows (but now that I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:18 PM
52

A lot of white men have too much internalized racism and misogyny and no interest (or self awareness) to resolve any of it. Even the ones who don’t seem like it blatantly at first (and think they aren’t) end up making comments that give it away (and who knows what else is lurking in his mind), and I’ve had more than a few guys make veiled comments about how we could have “good kids”, which just grosses me out. Imagine thinking someone’s normal and having kids with them and he ends up being a whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:06 PM
100

I also feel like no woman would post it on Reddit tho wanting like applause (or pity? I’m not sure what the goal was here)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:08 AM
49

She gets the half of the bed thats just wooden slats. No mattress, just slats. I would die
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:08 AM
101

If they’ve got some twisted fetish, I would rather know about it so I can gtfo than have them keep it hidden while he pretends to be normal. I don’t think it’s normal to have super fucked up twisted thoughts you’re hiding from everyone? Like I don’t tell people everything obviously but I also am not hiding some weird and sordid side of myself that would send someone running lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:12 PM
25

Lawd aggressively fans self
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:00 PM
40

One of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen was a catfish on Tinder. It was so obvious. But damn whoever they took that pic from was my type to a T, it was not fair lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:53 PM
12

Like ten years ago I tried OLD on a smaller platform for people with certain niche interests. Met a nice guy, started chatting. Had a lot in common but he was out of the area and a bit older so I was kind of uninterested (never been into long distance or endless texting). He kept saying that he was in the process of separating with his wife and was going to be moving to my area but it was dragging so I stopped messaging him. Went on Facebook one day (I didn’t use it much) and FB recommends I bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:50 PM
329

I have zero idea what any of them are doing and that’s how I like it. I don’t keep track of my trash once it’s been put on the curb 😂😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:43 PM
17

He was extremely good looking (if you’re into the whole tatted up felon look, which she is), and he lovebombed her in the beginning (because he had literally nothing better to do with his time, he had access to a cell phone and could text/call her all day). She has super low self esteem and gets her validation from men so to have someone that attractive and that into her was all she needed to fall head over heels. I wish her the best and honestly hope it doesn’t end how I think it will (how it u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:18 AM
13

(This still sounds freakin ridiculous when I type this out) The thing that stands out the most was had a habit of occasionally trying to stick his finger in my belly button, which I had told him firmly from the very first time I absolutely hate. He would do it every once in awhile, laugh and then act confused when I would get mad because “it was just my belly button, he thought it was cute”. At the time i remember thinking “why does he seem to enjoy doing that, maybe he has a belly button fetish…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:25 AM
77

Last I heard, she quit a 175k/year job to move to a crime-ridden town up north to wait for her in-jail-for-murder new BF to maybe get out of jail at some point so they could live happily ever after. Sadly, there wasn’t even peanut dust. She was extremely traumatized from her childhood, I think it’s just too much for her to delve into so she continues with the male distractions because it’s the only thing she knows. It was really sad, but not something I could continue to be a part of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:39 PM
157

My grandmas best friend was married to her husband for 62 years before he passed of cancer. She told me one time “after the first argument I had with Jim, I knew he was the one I should marry if it got to that point. He didn’t yell or get mean like men back then did, and he treated me like I was still a friend and partner even though we were disagreeing at the time. I knew he would be a good father and husband, and I would be able to love him and stay with him if that was how he was”. My grandma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:44 PM
6

Be safe. Be strong. You got this, and it only gets better. I’m happy you’re happy ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:41 PM
45

My ex tried this with me. “My baby mama is absolutely insane” Me (after seven months of dating him and then dumping him) - “yeah no shit, I’d be certifiable if I’d had to put up with you for four YEARS and then was STILL stuck dealing with you because we shared a kid”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:03 PM
26

The Y chromosome is shriveled and weak (my developmental psych professors words, not mine, she is a font of unintentional fds pearls)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:01 PM
162

I had a friend just like this (like… JUST like this lol), who also reached out about 8 months after her abusive bf convinced her to end the friendship and spoiler alert, she’d actually learned nothing lol. But I hope yours did, that’s gotta be a shitty existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 07:56 PM
60

I think this is kind of a sensitive subject. From my personal experience- I was friends with a guy for three years, after which we started dating. This was pre-FDS and I was kind of naive because it’s rare I find someone I like so I don’t have a ton of dating experience, and up until that point had never dated anyone abusive but during the three years I knew him he did not show any blatant red flags. After we had been dating for about 5 months, he started doing “odd” things. Things that I did no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:15 PM
169

This makes me want to light things on fire 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:40 PM
14

This. This is how we take back the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:39 PM
19

Oh absolutely. And it’s the height of hypocrisy to tell other women “you can’t tell me that what I’m doing isn’t empowering… but I’m going to tell you that what youre doing isn’t empowering”. That attitude drives me nuts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 11:37 PM
78

I think it’s hard for them to separate the job from their personality (because it’s usually rooted in trauma which is them). Like… I can think sex work is not a great thing and want it to end, but at the same time want the women who have been forced into it to heal and find jobs that don’t exploit them physically and emotionally like that. It’s like the exact opposite of victim blaming (because I do think a lot of them are victims, but I want them to break out and be free of it, so they’re no lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:35 PM
28

“I’m an entrepreneur” or “self employed” means “I’m a drug dealer” where I’m at 🥳 Also if a guy ever describes himself as an “empath”, he’s an abusive narcissist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:25 PM
13

https://khironclinics.com/blog/the-reenactment-of-trauma/ Kind of a succinct blog post but they cite the studies at the bottom and it sums up pretty much all of my points pretty briefly. Abuse also changes the actual physical structure of the brain, which influences future neurotransmitter function.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:12 PM
77

I said in the previous post about this- it’s really sad watching abuse victims brains do cartwheels to keep them insulated from the realization that they’re being (and have been) abused. It’s easier to lash out and double down than it is to have to accept that reality and deal with it, and that in a fucked up way attempts to regain control over a traumatic situation by “choosing it” only caused further trauma. The capitalist patriarchy pins women in a position where the most lucrative thing abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:04 PM
12

Wow that’s really sad that they’re like gloating that their John’s would rather sleep with them than the woman they’re dating/married to and cheating on. I knew a girl who was a prostitute when I was way younger and she had that attitude too, she had huge self esteem issues from childhood abuse and thought it made her important/worthy when men wanted to sleep with her instead of their wives/girlfriends. When in reality, men will fuck a ketchup bottle. So much for female empowerment. They sound r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:00 PM
82

My grandpa was a super fast walker but he made an obvious effort to slow down to everyone else’s speed when we were with him. And then he’d use it to like power ahead the final few steps and get the door for everyone or something kind like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:51 PM
12

My mom wasn’t a prostitute (she fucked assholes for free!) but she was a big proponent of this “women can heal the world with their calm, loving feminine energy, it’s our job as women to be a gentle, inviting place for men to be taken away from the harshness of the world” and I just remember thinking “what a load of crap”. It reeks of the whole Fix It Felicia syndrome that women do with their boyfriends, but if anything they’re more committed to the lie because it’s paying their bills instead of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:38 PM
62

Abuse victims brains will do backflips trying to insulate the persons brain from the realization that it’s being (or been) abused. Reenactment of the trauma in an attempt to reframe it as a choice to regain perceived power over the situation is extremely common. I also find the overall attitude of “I’m healing these poor men with my pussy” to be a very codependent/saviory way of masking it. You’re not healing the world with your Moon Vagina Magic power, you’re having sex with a married dude who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:08 AM
57

Oooo man. My first comment when I heard about their divorce was “well he had ties with Epstein, maybe it had something to do with that.” Feeling majorly vindicated right now. I would not be surprised if there was even more to it than this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:44 AM
3

My most recent iOS update, it won’t show message previews unless it recognizes my face, I can’t remember if that was automatic or I set it to that but I love that it hides them if it doesn’t recognize my face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:51 PM
2

Supposedly iPhones don’t generate any kind of usable data log with what they listen to (at least that a guy would be able to use) and they’re upping encryption and privacy options with every OS update. Google does save data even when I’m incognito mode tho, and I know you can download it somehow (I’ve never tried so I don’t know if that’s something a guy would be able to get or if you have to authenticate yourself somehow)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:51 PM
2

They can’t go out and do anything because of lockdown not allowing for a baby sitter, and from what she’s written, it doesn’t sound like she’s able to communicate on a basic level with him (which I think would need to start with her in therapy to identify what she feels and wants to say but just because you work on your issues internally, you don’t suddenly know how others who haven’t been emotionally shut down navigate it. She could obviously be different from myself in that regard but traumati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:32 AM
10

What’s the saying? You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make her not be a pickme?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:38 AM
5

Passwords should be 8+ characters long with at least one number, special character and capital letter. This makes them virtually unhackable short of a key logger or phishing attempt at something. 2FA on everything you can No “smart” devices in the house, especially door locks or security cameras (I know they’re handy but they’re super vulnerable if you happen to piss off a tech savvy asshole) Don’t click on random links or any random emails that ask you to “confirm” a password. Like 85% of “hack…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:36 AM
18

I’m in systems security and neither myself nor any of my coworkers have any smart devices anywhere in their house. They’re ridiculously easy to compromise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:30 AM
15

In addition to this, this is possibly the only time I’ll suggest this but couples counseling might not be terrible either. I agree OP could use some personal therapy to kind of help unpack this in a productive way (and I say this as someone who has pretty similar issues, reading this was like looking into my future if I don’t finish dealing with my relationship/emotional issues) but I think a good couples counselor could help facilitate some of this dialogue between them in a way that helps both…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:23 AM
196

“He’s usually so caring but now that we have a baby he thinks I won’t go anywhere”. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:04 PM
9

I always assumed it was dudes used to porn and their hand. The Death Grip(tm) is real
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:38 PM
136

Same. For a first date we can walk… into a restaurant (once Covid is over obviously). Once I’m dating someone, I’d absolutely love to go for a romantic walk or a nice weekend hike… in addition to proper dates 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 12:38 AM
32

Desperation. But they think we're sad for having standards and not being desperate enough to compromise. There were the stereotypical "cat lady" insults. Very unimaginative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 07:58 PM
2

Imagine being married to a guy who spends his time hate-lurking feminist forums and cross posting to a red pill circle jerk. He must be such a catch, I'm so depressed I missed my chance with that one /s If they don't see how there's a fundamental difference between watching porn where women are abused, presented as a piece of meat and often treated like they're not even human, and us watching some guy chop firewood.... I'm not sure what to say. I did get my expected dose of wtf tho, apparently w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 07:51 PM
69

This has been the single biggest hurdle for me in finding a guy to date. Hot? Sure. Makes decent money and can spell words like a grown up? No problem. Treats me decent? Check. But finding a guy who truly has empathy for everyone, not just his own family or people that are important or useful personally…. Ridiculously rare. If I have to listen to one more guy tell me “guys only have one emotion” like they’re proud of it… 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:00 PM
32

I only wear makeup on special occasions where I feel like looking a little more dramatic. I LOVE that dudes ignore me at the store, my friend used to get harassed just trying to walk into Target (she was one of those that had to be fully done up to set foot out the house) and it made me so uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:14 PM
36

When “dad bod” started, (at least where I was) it was used to reference a guy who was bigger, but not fat. Like… older Pierce Brosnan or something. Not super ripped and maybe a little layer of fat, but not…. like a pot belly and moobs. I think women love dad bods (the current gross kind) because it’s non threatening. “They won’t leave me”. I was kind of into the original ones until I realized like 90% of my dating attraction was based on guys I thought would like me (because I hadn’t worked on m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:10 PM
98

I randomly came across a post once of guys asking women why they left FDS and all the responses were “I settled for an LVM to not be single and didn’t want to be judged for it” and then proceeded to describe a guy that sounded… not worth settling for. Like yay! you found some dick… but he makes you pay for everything and plays video games all day. Congrats /s Some women can’t handle being single and don’t want to be called out on it. The rest of the users are all bitter men 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:03 PM
4

Omg this is hilarious, I don’t tiktok but my friend sent me this awhile ago and I knew this guy looked familiar. She is all of us 🥳 Also, getting serious validation for my random “I like hot guys chopping firewood” comment from a few days ago https://www.tiktok.com/@toeverymom/video/6889203319730982150
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:55 PM
8

Two words. Derek. Weida (although he’s let the beard get a little scruffy for my taste lately)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:31 AM
16

This is fucking inspired. I’m just waiting for the “this is discriminating genocide!!!” comments from the lurkers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:30 AM
81

Both army guys I dated ended up being severely unhinged. In the words of one of them “there’s only so many people you can kill before it starts to change you” and he was dead inside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 08:45 PM
13

She’s 18. I know a lot of younger people take this as insulting but I wouldn’t even really consider her a “woman”. She legally is, but she’s fresh out of having to ask to use the restroom at school. There is no magical “grow up” the minute the clock strikes 12 on their 18th birthday. It’s part of why assholes like this prey on girls that don’t know better than to run 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:46 PM
15

This is why they go for naive 18 year olds. They don’t know any better when they pull this psycho shit. So sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:45 PM
6

I think the only thing I would fault him (and the friend as well) for is not notifying proper authorities when she said she was suicidal so she could potentially get help, although obviously that’s not guaranteed if she doesn’t tell them the truth when they come talk to her. But yes, if I had an ex threaten suicide to make me stay, I would not answer the phone either. I would however call 911 and say the person needs a wellness check, I would not full on ignore it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:25 PM
9

Nope, a woman. When bestie was telling me this over the phone I was literally sitting there like “pardon, I must be having connection issues (or a stroke) there is no way I just heard you right…” and then she could tell I was not impressed because she changed the subject super quick. For some reason this dude is just a blind spot, she normally does not put up with shit like this but she doesn’t want to have to deal with dating again and he’s not physically abusive like her ex so she thinks every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:08 AM
2

Yeah I was “that girl” too. Then they all tried to fuck me, or talked about cheating on their girlfriends, or talked disparagingly about women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:07 PM
36

A friend told me once that her therapist had advised her to “focus on the positive”. So she actually thanked her 34 year old fiancé for folding a single load of towels, one time, that she had to ask him to fold, and then had to remind him that he had said he was going to help out more when he complained about being asked. He didn’t even really wash the towels. She threw them into a load he was already doing (his own clothes, she normally does all communal laundry), and then he took his clothes o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:58 PM
43

Oh I don’t move in with them, I meant if we are at the point of having overnight visits, I go to theirs for it instead of having them come to mine. I’ve never lived with someone and I don’t know that I want to ever. The closest I came was several nights at this guys place while I still had mine so I could go home when I wanted and have space. I never got to a point where I wanted to spend every single night at his place, I am one of those who really enjoys my quiet, peaceful space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:19 PM
22

Yup. And legally you will have to formally evict him or he can sue if he wants. No thank you. I was stunned that it was that few nights to establish tenancy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:17 PM
171

A post on here awhile ago made me look up the tenancy laws in my state. Once he’s spent seven nights in a row or 14 nights in a six month period, he’s considered a tenant and needs to be legally evicted. That’s two nights a month. Uh no. This is why I only go to their place (once we’re officially dating and I know he’s not a serial killer of course). That and I can leave if I’m unhappy, I’ve watched an ex-friend try to kick guys out after a fight or something and they’d just refuse to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:47 PM
24

It’s not an “opinion”, it’s a question lol. The guy that made it happen did stuff no guy has come close to before or since and I’ve never come close before or since, largely because he seemed to know what he was doing where others don’t. Obviously not everyone is the same that’s why I said I wondered if a similar experience would be similar for other women who also thought it was impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:19 AM
11

Yes. The one guy who was actually semi-decent and really into me, it was obvious. He had no problem talking about it, he put in effort, he made me a priority, he was just secure and enjoyable to be around. He had one fatal flaw, but had he not had that we would likely be married right now, it was night and day from the fuck boys I’d dealt with up until then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:40 AM
126

And he’s posting it on FB for good boyfriend points. It’s performative romance ETA- omg I didn’t even read the whole thing, “happy four months to my soulmate” 😂😂😂 girl run
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:35 AM
2

I can practically hear them scream “what do you mean my number isn’t saved under ‘best dick ever’?!?” Half the time they don’t even respond after that question
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:22 AM
22

Telling them you’re old school only makes it a challenge (and more of a victory if they do get laid)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:13 PM
69

“There’s resentment on both sides” The fuck does he have to be resentful about?!? That she isn’t buying him the palace his little hobosexual heart desires near his friends and family. What is wrong with people, good lord
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:11 PM
2

“I wanna go back to fucking you” and he’s obviously lying. Just block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:06 PM
6

If i bother replying at all, it’s only to say “who is this?” so I can enjoy them dying a little inside before I block 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:05 PM
131

“If I don’t find it attractive, obviously it’s just unattractive”. Like the threat of unattractiveness to someone who is obviously not who she is looking for should matter 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:03 PM
40

And one of my exes had a really nice dick and could get hard, but he just laid there and did nothing with it, and then couldn’t come because he was so used to his own hand from being single for years before me (and I think watching too much porn)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 03:01 PM
83

I’ve often wondered if women who think they can’t come from PIV just haven’t had sex with a decent sized dick that knows what it’s doing. I thought for years that I couldn’t (and it’s repeated often as a “fact” that i just kind of accepted) but apparently I can, and I like it way more than receiving oral (which guys also told me I didn’t like only because I hadn’t had good oral, but if that’s the case they weren’t good either because I still don’t really enjoy it). Obviously not advocating going…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:39 PM
78

I am also one who doesn’t check their phone constantly, and I’ve found this is a wonderful byproduct of that. These men self select themselves out by showing that they’re needy and controlling. The last guy I was talking to did this. I didn’t respond for two hours because I was in a meeting (which honestly doesn’t really matter why, I could have not responded for two hours because I was staring cross eyed at my phone ignoring him and that’s my right) and he sent me like 7 messages about how he’d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:28 PM
11

Oh well there you go. That’s a half ass invite, for a half ass dude. I only go on proper dates with a proper invite, that should weed these mofos out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:56 AM
14

Personally I find it extremely rude to invite someone to an expensive place and then make them pay, especially knowing they can’t afford it. I don’t do that with friends, and they don’t do that with me, I find it unbelievable that men think that’s ok. Wtf is wrong with people these days. I wouldn’t even reach for your wallet, I would just sit there and act like you don’t even acknowledge the checks existence. I always drive myself because I’m not comfortable being stuck if something gets weird, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:52 AM
19

Interesting, I’ve always wondered if BFF worked, I may have to give it a try once covid calms down in my area
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:34 AM
123

Not only that, followed by “he couldn’t make me cum so he laid there while I did it myself”. But good job him not feeling pressured to make her orgasm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:04 PM
9

I’m 5’9” (and I just googled the average height of men where I live and it looks like it’s actually gotten taller, good for them! It was like 5’7” last time I looked, now it’s 5’9” so I’m not actually taller than the average man anymore lol. I still seem to be taller then most dudes I meet tho). But same, I always felt weirdly in the middle, like I wasn’t short and dainty and I wasn’t tall enough to be TALL, I was just tall enough to feel awkward. Now I enjoy it tho, I’m tall enough that I can t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:35 PM
104

Being ok with being tall. I mention that I don’t hate being taller and it’s like an affront to man that I dared to be born taller than the average man. File a complaint with my 6’5” father, I had no control over it 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:19 AM
31

Yeah it seriously irritates me when guys try the whole “you have so many choices!” Uh no, I do not. I have a bunch of dudes trying to objectify me and sexualize me for their pleasure, not one of which I would actually choose. But please tell me how great it must be to have 50% of the population view me as a hole capable of walking on two legs and nothing beyond that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:51 AM
49

I worked male dominated jobs from 17-26 and it was like a crash course in Scrote. A lot of them are vile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:43 AM
13

Right?!? I was like 6 sitting there like “he is a going to destroy your way of life, he is NOT to be trusted!” and then I was big mad at Disney for making her fall in love with him like a stupid princess movie. He was just such an unappealing male lead, and she was so awesome and free and like running around jumping off waterfalls with her pet raccoon (which was like... the life to 6 year old me) and singing about painting with the wind 😤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:42 AM
2

I mean... I was like 6 LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:39 AM
59

Yeah early 90s was like heroin chic stick thin, then huge boobs, then 2000s was playboy even faker boobs. Now it’s Kim K BBLs which is the exact opposite of heroin chic. There’s no point in keeping up, it’s a never ending merry go round
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:11 PM
8

“Make it make sense” It doesn’t need to... I’ve never really understood the deal with labels (not to knock anyone who is searching for a label or identifies with any one thing, to each their own. It’s just never been something personally important to me). It is what it is. You are attracted to men but don’t want a penis in you? Great, you don’t have to have a penis in you. It might narrow down the pool of guys since a lot find that important but that’s fine. We don’t need them anyway. You don’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:07 PM
36

I loved Pocahontas as a kid, but hated that she chose John Smith (just... ugh). The movies saving grace (at least until they released the second one) was that he left and she was just like “ok bye”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:59 PM
130

I have never understood the unwilling groom/husband trope. Like... bro you proposed. All you had to do to not get married was not do that. They think they’re doing women everywhere some favor. I used to work in a male-dominated field and all the men would crack jokes about this and I was just like ???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:19 AM
35

Ten years and he’d finally figured out she was tired of waiting so he was going to throw her a pity ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:24 AM
15

Shorter/smaller than me, dead eyes, ungraceful bald (I don’t mind bald if they shave it and rock it but when they’re clinging to the bald eagle circle of hair it’s just... no), too muscular (there’s a very specific sweet spot in terms of tall/muscular/broad that I like) Bonus- tattoos (especially on the hands) but nothing vulgar/corny, beautiful eyes, I have a thing for nice hands in general, nice smile/teeth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:12 PM
28

I like that “functional fit” that only comes from like building fences and chopping firewood. Gym bros always look weirdly fragile, like they’re super muscular but it isn’t a healthy, fit muscle, my ex was super into lifting and was muscular but was always hurt because it was all about the muscle and total weight lifted and not actually healthy and usable. Random side note, I am SUPER into a guy having nice hands and nice shoulders. I don’t know what it is about the shoulders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:05 PM
3

“iamNOTa35yearoldwhiteman” 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:34 PM
14

Seriously any guy who says Tony Stark is their favorite marvel character is SUS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:46 PM
72

The entirety of the patriarchy is gaslighting women. They even pass off the emotional/mental work of upholding the patriarchal chains to women, it’s easier for them if we enslave ourselves (and let’s be real, women do everything better than men). Ive had a reality shift (not this specific one but similar) and it’s kind of wild how “reality” can be one thing and then you see something new and suddenly reality is completely different. It makes me really sad how many women don’t see the prison they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:06 PM
84

Im legit giggling at the idea of a guy trying to sneak into this sub with the user name declaring he’s a white man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 03:57 PM
85

It probably was (they’re the only ones who think being a SAHM mom isn’t work) but ironically I’m sure there are more men that it would rightly apply to. When I hear that phrase I think of an overweight gamer, promising what going to go apply for jobs after one more round of Call of Duty, but instead he eats all the food in the fridge and then expects the wife/gf to fuck him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:19 AM
68

“She was just... not believable....” before they go back to writing a ten page treatise about how Iron Man (the most ridiculously Mary Sueish character ever) is their incel god and they want the opportunity to choke on his mechanical iron dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:16 AM
215

What in fresh Sam hell did I just read? They’re rebranding being a SAHM as “refusal to work syndrome”? Next “exercising bodily autonomy” is going to be “refusing to fuck syndrome”. Something is fishy if his therapist thinks he shouldn’t be forcing his wife to work. This dudes got way bigger issues than a “deadbeat” wife who raised his kids, kept his house and still fucks his whiny ass at 55.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:10 AM
109

Sooo he gaslights her into believing her emotional reactions are “overdramatic” and she’s out here bragging about it on whatever social media platform this is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:03 AM
33

Totally agree with this. I installed a dishwasher in my house a few months ago because the company missed two appointments and I got irritated. I YouTubed it first, looked up instructions, made sure I had all the tools and was 100% confident in my ability to do (I have some previous experience with similar things although both specifically dishwashers). A friend of mine came over to help and it was so refreshing. He (gay, of course) actually read instructions and followed them with me instead of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:42 PM
256

I always laugh when guys tell me I’m “asking for too much” in a guy. I only expect what I also provide. I can do every single thing on this list (I almost put except for drywall repairs and grout and then I remembered that I’ve totally repaired the drywall and tub in my bathroom.) I want someone who is generous and thoughtful because I am generous and thoughtful and want it reciprocated in a healthy, mutual relationship so I’m not taken advantage of. Not because I’m some one sided leech, that’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:40 PM
43

Grey rock him, and if someone does bring it up I’ve found that a quick laugh and eye roll when people bring it up does way more than defending. “Hahaha that’s hilarious!” and then move on like they said nothing. Nothing bothers weirdos more than them not bothering you. It’s been my go to power move with douchebags for years and it has a 99.9% efficacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:06 PM
2

I just want to second, please make sure you are properly trained with the specific firearm you end up getting. You should be able to load, unload, safety on/off, aim and fire all from muscle memory. Ideally your BF, his brother and anyone else who may have access should be able to as well. Handguns are dangerous in close quarters, not just to your stalker but for you and people around you, be safe ❤️❤️❤️❤️
/r/askFDS29/04/21 07:38 PM
74

“I guess you must be too busy to answer”. Yuuup! And that ain’t changing so if you need someone available 24/7, mooove along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:07 PM
56

Aww I’m sorry. I’ve had something similar happen with an ex friend (we went on a weekend trip, got a hotel room etc for her to spend the entire weekend on the phone with her loser-bf ignoring me) and it’s never pleasant. But it says more about her than it does about you. I would recommend really examining the “friendship” tho, sometimes we do ourselves a disservice allowing people to remain in our lives who don’t treat us with kindness and respect. You deserve better than this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:06 PM
8

This is the entirety of age gap relationships that most girls in them are too young to see (I don’t know if yours was but the qualities of power imbalance and wanting control in a way that leaves them insulated from demands or responsibilities is exactly the same in my experience)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:00 PM
7

I think women facing judgement for regular sex still kind of falls under the “threatening consumption” umbrella tho. They’re not doing it in a way that benefits the powers that be; theyre not making a product that can be sold to other men, and if they’re using birth control they’re doing it for their own pleasure, not to create more babies that will be consumers, or soldiers, or new church-going tithers. Men overwhelmingly only shame women for being sexual with someone other than them. When they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:57 PM
11

This is spot on for me personally. My dad was extremely emotionally (and physically) distant and I transferred that to fantasies about guys (“emotional masturbarion” was used in an above post and I love that phrase, I’m so stealing it) once I was high school and older. It felt like it would heal an old wound. He may not have wanted me but if someone else like that did then it wasn’t me. I was a sucker for the emotionally damaged guys who showed me a crumb of affection. “They’re assholes to every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:06 PM
7

Ooo man I am feeling called out on behalf of my last bf. Literally every single thing in this post is spot on, wow. He was so in love with her (and from all accounts she was an absolute POS, he would tell me these “funny” stories about him and his sisters growing up and I’d be sitting there like “that’s.... child abuse, why are you laughing and telling me this like she’s the greatest thing ever?!?”) Him continuing to want to be around her even though she was straight up rude to me (would ignore …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:56 PM
2

I would figure out which union rep (if there is more than one) is the best mix of sympathetic and competent, they might be able to file the right combination of complaints that will get this dude either out or disciplined enough that he walks it back some. Honestly, your bosses comment sounds like he was letting you know that the right complaints might tip the scale against this dude, union politics are... tricky but no one likes an asshole. It all depends on how much you want to potentially fig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:49 AM
16

Huh. I’m in school right now to become an MFT and I legit never contemplated the fact that most women are probably not going to want the perspective I will be offering. I want to help try to empower women out of this bs they usually get fed but you are 100% right that most women don’t want to see it and aren’t ready to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 11:44 PM
2

That’s a lot of words for “my husband is a full blown alcoholic and I want a magic secret to change him”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 11:42 PM
5

Your manager told you that he is “on a thin line with the union”? Does that mean they’re already aware that he’s a shit stain? Depending on the union (and your local reps) most unions do not want to unilaterally protect psychopaths from the consequences of their own actions. They just want to make sure that the company can’t take advantage of employees outside of their contractual obligations and if there is an issue that it’s handled fairly, appropriately and properly. Do you have a steward tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 11:38 PM
7

And I get where that has a use in certain circumstances. I just think it’s important that people be aware that that same benefit can also be used against you if the guy wants to. Mia Farrow wasn’t married to Woody Allen and they’d been together ten years (whether she ignored red flags in those ten years is definitely a point but regardless, ten years). I’ve seen men flip a switch after that amount of time. When a man is accused of molesting one of the children, a large percent of them file for c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:37 PM
5

The best way I found was to kind of... detach from myself and try to view my life and choices as if someone else had made them. If a friend had done what I’d done, I would tell them “you were a young girl growing up, learning how to make good choices. Being young and innocent and taken advantage of was not your fault. Being innocent should be a good thing, but they take advantage. But you learned, and you grew and you realized the things that are hard to realize when society is working to keep u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:27 PM
14

Not one yet but 90% of the reason I’m becoming a therapist is because of the shit my friends therapist was telling her during the time she found out her husband was cheating. A lot of it was making excuses for him and trying to reframe my friends reactions to it in termsof what it would do to him and, while I’m not fully trained yet, I have yet to take a class that supports what she was doing. I want to be a therapist that allows women to have feelings that aren’t always coddling and babying for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:13 PM
97

I came across one of these the last time I was horror-scrolling Tinder (I think it’s on my post history) and it was still pretty obvious he was full of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:58 PM
34

Wait til you get a guy with a secret cuckold fetish who’s like “sure!”. I jokingly said that one time and the guy was like “ok, I know some guys who would be down” and I was like “wait, hold up...” 🤦🏼‍♀️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:13 PM
19

🔪🔪🔪🔪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:13 PM
272

This is my issue with choice feminism. It’s too hard to differentiate between actual choice and choice born of ingrained grooming until it’s too late. We need to just burn down the patriarchy 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 06:02 PM
87

I forget what sub it was (maybe the atheism sub?) but someone was talking about how all porn-opposition comes from religious brain washing and when someone linked like ten different studies that scientifically backed porn being harmful outside of any religious affiliation, he got downvoted to oblivion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 06:01 PM
199

I had a few guy friends from a hobby I was in at the time. One of them was really nice and would always give me advice on “guy troubles” since he was one. Years later, found out he had been in love with me the whole time and was purposefully giving me advice to try to end whatever relationship I was in. Literally the only male friend I’ve ever had that didn’t try to sleep with me or make it sexual at any point is gay. ETA- I also find it telling that every gay man I know talks very openly about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:59 PM
126

“Didn’t respect sexual boundaries” That one jumped out at me from the list, the others are... personal habits that may be adjustable if he truly wants to.... This one is very concerning about who he is as a person. Are you in therapy? That’s a lot to be navigating on your own, and it might help you get some clarity to have someone somewhat removed from the situation to talk things out with. If you went from an abusive relationship into this one, there’s probably things that need healing (just li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 05:50 PM
3

I’ve never heard of a kick out order, does it enforce him not being able to come back to harass her at any point? (I would hope it does)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:01 PM
25

Sadly this is untrue. My ex had a beautiful dick and did literally nothing with it. It was so disappointing and such a waste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:48 PM
13

Spitting on someone is assault most places. Hidden camera (carefully), get some evidence and get a restraining order. Then the cops have to enforce (unless they’re absolute POS which... is always possible)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 09:40 PM
3

Yeah it’s just so weird that they can say with a straight face “kink-shaming will be removed but guys arguing that sexual assault is fine will be left up” (and really shows you how many men on that sub think like that). It’s mind-boggling to me that people think like that, but I guess he’s not at risk of being choked out by someone he’s on a date with. Oh well, back to lurking that sub pretending to be the worlds most feminist guy. It’s gross having to read stuff like this constantly but some of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:58 PM
1

Oo do OBs make way more money? I was not aware of that, that would explain it a bit LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:17 AM
8

My coworker (who swore after his divorce at a young age he would never remarry) just spent 25k on a ring because he met someone who he loves to death and wants to spend the rest of his life with. If they want to, they will 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:02 AM
1

That also seemed kind of suspect. Like I know not all medical professionals get their first pick of specialty based on what’s available but it’s weird that a straight guy wants to share vagina all day lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 03:56 AM
6

I’ve always thought that it would be harder to be an OBGYN as a male also because they don’t have the parts to really understand what I’m talking about. Like I can say the words “my cramps feel like someone has a stranglehold on my uterus” but they don’t actually know what a period is like in real life to properly appreciate what I’m telling them. Am I way off base with that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 03:04 AM
33

“He wants to buy a house for him and his kids”. Nuff said right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:49 AM
21

The top voted comment on that thread says “he should have stopped after the first no”. So basically, it’s fine to shoot your shot as long as you listen if they don’t like it. I miss the days when it was assumed that the sex was gonna be vanilla and you had to find someone specifically into BDSM. Now it’s like they think it’s the default.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:40 AM
144

“My pregnant wife is 3D printing a child that her body is allergic too, why can’t she put on a god damn shirt while she does it?!?” And then to type alllll of that into Reddit, with zero self awareness to what a massive douchenozzle he sounds like AND hit post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:40 AM
50

One of the mods just told someone that kink shaming isn’t allowed and will be banned but the comments defending sexual assault are just “shitty interpretations of situations they weren’t involved in” and she should ignore them. I want to puke right now, I don’t understand how this is so normalized in our society
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:16 PM
31

Aren’t post nuptials even harder to enforce then prenups (which can already get thrown out arbitrarily by a judge)? She’s an idiot for getting married and even doubly so for asking these questions after it’s legally done
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:06 PM
112

But his penis!! For real tho like no one is making you do anything? Don’t want to take a woman out? Don’t. But they want to be getting laid, just with no effort. It’s pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:03 PM
75

I know EXACTLY which post you’re talking about, and this is not the first time it’s happened on that sub when someone posts about being sexually assaulted. I noticed a couple of people (mostly women but a few guys as well) are commenting about it but overall, the comments are gross and the mods are leaving them up in favor of removing ones calling it what it is (sexual abuse) because KiNk ShAmInG (I would not be surprised if they ban my other account soon). But the ones saying “don’t victimize O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:53 PM
88

“Women keep blowing me off after I take them to lunch” = women couldn’t even stand sitting through one lunch with me before bouncing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:47 PM
10

Yeah, men who are kind and generous (with everything, time, attention, emotion, care and support etc, not just cash) aren’t getting women just because of a bank account, they’re attracting women with their personality. The ones who only have money to offer are usually terrible partners, the money doesn’t mean their generous (and like you said it’s usually the opposite). Dating JUST for money is a quick way to be financially abused
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:56 PM
45

Me (whispering) - “it’s because you’re oooold” 😂 (Nothing against anyone over a certain age, but im pretty sure no woman on this sub is pretending to be ten years younger to trap vulnerable dates and making excuses)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:44 PM
35

Entire relationships can be coercion. And my friend bragged about it too because she felt “desired” when they would ignore her no because they “had to have her”, that didn’t make them not sexual assault. Women especially with deep rooted trauma or abuse often rationalize to protect their psyche from having to deal with the fact that they’re still being abused. Shaming them for that is gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:07 PM
5

My male pup is about to be neutered and I made a joke to my mom that I was gonna get him the worlds tiniest pair of neuticles (over share- his balls are tiny) and she was like “what, those aren’t a thing?!?” I had to explain to her that some men are so upset about neutering their dog that they pay to get them faux-balls for aesthetic. She almost cried laughing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:49 PM
41

Some women have higher numbers because they’re being coerced into it and don’t feel like they can safely say no. The Pickmeisha friend I had with a fairly high “number”, like 75% of her encounters I would have considered sexual assault or rape when she told me what happened. I don’t think it’s fair to judge them for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:46 PM
30

The ones with money have an equally hard time finding someone (sometimes harder because they have a gross attitude about it). Sure there’s some women who will date a man just for money but it’s not all like they always seem to think (and some dudes are insufferable all the money in the world couldn’t make up for it). Some loser on a dating sub here was talking about how women were all gold diggers because he had money and the ladies response was “and yet you are still single, your post history i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:21 PM
72

And it’s so convenient how men who “don’t know how to work the app and can’t change it” always conveniently age themselves younger so they make it past the filtered ages of younger women. They never seem to “accidentally” make themselves older 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:17 PM
60

I got shredded for calling out Kobe posts for him being a borderline pedophile rapist, I could give two shits that he was pretty good at playing basketball. It was a nice little spring cleaning on my social media pages, I don’t need friends that bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:06 PM
38

I find it really weird when people are upset about celebrity deaths. Like I understand being upset if they were a truly beneficial person to society, they cured cancer or helped people, or maybe even made music that was inspirational and comforting or something. I will be bummed when Dolly Parton dies because she’s one of the really positive examples of celebrities who just quietly use their position and wealth to make a difference and I think she seems like a beautiful person in a fucked up wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:04 PM
36

This happened to a friend of mine. A month after getting married, she finds out he’s been sleeping with hookers and massage parlor girls their entire 6 year relationship (which is a whole other discussion). I wouldn’t have necessarily called him a HVM (he’s kind of the typical man child, would rather golf with dude friends than do housework) but I never would have guessed he was a systematic cheater. But she stayed 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:57 PM
51

So wait... let’s do the math (for him, since it’s so hard) Him = part time job + part time student (community college) Her = full time job + full time student (PHD) + part time research assistant And he thinks Him > Her? He does suck at math, he should pick an easier career. At least that sub is shredding him in the replies, I can’t even believe this is a serious post. Doesn’t the army do mental health checks? He’s delusional
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:05 PM
5

Yeah it’s a sad attempt to scare women into putting themselves back on the market for the bottom 80% to prey on. It makes them big mad that we don’t feel the same burning needs that they do, some loser wrote me a book about the “modern mans plight” because they have testosterone and biologically need women but can’t get them (insert dramatic swoon here). I sent him back studies on abuse/rape/death/household responsibility statistics and told him to cry me a river about women not being willing to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:51 PM
4

The sub for people who have been vaccinated (I can’t recall the exact name) has several huge threads about this as well. One woman said she filled out a form with Pfizer to report it so it can be tracked and that way we will have some feedback input in vaccine effects. I recommend you do the same 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:39 PM
2

There’s also several threads with hundreds of comments on the sub for people who have been vaccinated (I can’t remember the exact name) but tons of women had the same experience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:37 PM
6

I think the way the world is set up, there’s a certain level of narcissism/ psychopathy that has to be present to attain certain levels of “greatness”. You have to be self-centered, unreasonably self-assured and willing to step over other people. And there’s something wrong mentally with someone who has billions of dollars in the bank from exploiting people and can sleep at night knowing children are starving for them to be rich. It’s not normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:35 PM
8

I so did not need to know this first thing in the morning. What the actual fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:22 PM
8

“You’re going to die alone if you don’t lower your standards!” First of all, that’s a weird self-burn that my standard of clean, functional adult male with no addictions is going to disqualify aLL mEn. And two... I don’t really care 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel like they mistake the days of women being socially set up to need a man for economic survival as something we wanted. Like yes, I’m sure it was Peggys burning desire to have 11 kids (12 including her husband) that led her to accept 50 years of financial,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:21 PM
18

ThEy WeRe So RuDe! BaCk iN mY dAy....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:14 PM
98

And then the inevitable “why don’t you just put in your profile that you’re not looking for a relationship and want casual sex?” “BeCaUsE tHeN I gEt No MaTcHes” and they take zero hints about their real world value in the fuckbuddy free market and continue trying to lure women into this magical “carefree dating” through tips gleaned from the pua sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:13 PM
7

I have a chronic back issue that I’ve had since I was a teenager. Part of my self destructive tendencies in my teens and twenties was to not do the things I know will help minimize the pain and flare ups. My leveling up recently has been to really prioritize me and what I need to feel the best I possibly can. If that means I spend a bit more money on a specialist, or better food, or a strengthening/PT class then I do so. I used to only prioritize saving money which, while definitely important, w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:12 PM
8

This was my first thought too. This is the line of thinking that says “the reason men rape is because women dress like that and go out at night”. Even if women never left the house, they’d still be a rapist given the opportunity. Plenty of men grow up in the same environment and turn out fine. LVM gonna do what they’re gonna do. Even if the pick mes didn’t “let them get away with using and disrespecting them”, they would just try again. They would still be LV. Should women encourage it, no. But …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:53 PM
110

“I don’t even have a good attitude”, girl same LOL I got into an argument with an (ex)male friend awhile back and he told me “let me know when you’ve fixed your attitude” and hung up on me. A mutual friend recently asked me why I haven’t talked to him since and I told her “my attitude isn’t fixed yet” 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:32 PM
24

At least this implies they have an actual job (and I’d be getting paid for spending time with them, that’s even better than that sweet, sweet free dinner /s)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:18 AM
3

Right, like he could just veto the break up and she’d have no choice but to stay..? That’s not how any of this works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:09 PM
4

How fucking self centered do you have to be to think that women are “retaliating by wanting men that are tall, good looking, and financially stable that help with housework”. Like... I just want that because it’s what I want, how is that a “gotcha” to someone else 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:48 PM
9

Yup. Distance from the negative tends to make it fade in favor of what we miss. When that happens, just focus on the bad (it was obviously bad enough that you left) until you get over that momentary longing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:26 PM
35

Some guy tried to tell me that men not being able to get laid because they’re unemployed and unkempt is “the modern mans plight”. I told him the modern woman’s plight was to get abused physically, mentally and financially, taken advantage of, raped and then blamed for it so he could cry me a river about women not wanting to pity fuck him. They’re just so clueless it’s amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:22 PM
119

This is my main pause with dating men with any kind of issue. I understand that people have people shit going on. As long as it’s actively being managed and it’s workable, I can be understanding. But it normally isn’t. Every guy I’ve ever dated that had any kind of mental or physical ailment did fuck all about it. Depressed? Hell no he wasn’t going to see a shrink, much easier to just expect me to make him happy. Stomach problems? Why see a doctor when he could just keep chain smoking, pounding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:14 AM
3

White Boy Summer sounds like the summer before you turn eighteen, when grossly inappropriate old dudes try to hit on you and then when you think you’ve finally found a nice boy your age, he ends up being both racist and STD riddled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 11:27 PM
19

American military men are trash. They get perks (better housing and pay) for being married so they get married quick to women looking for someone to take care of them and then have a wife at home but go off and do whatever they want the rest of the time. They also normally have huge egos because of the way soldiers are glorified in our media and culture, the last two guys I dated were ex-military and I will never do that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 11:25 PM
10

Yeah I tried this with my ex. Turned out he stayed reserved throughout the entire relationship and never made any other move either. Things don’t change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 11:05 PM
49

Whoa whoa whoa. The focus on violence is a distraction from the real problem, which is women not wanting to sleep with men 💩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 10:50 PM
111

We don’t accept the status quo and that’s scary to them. Women who do accept it take it as an insult that we don’t agree with their standards (and the patriarchal brainwashing kicks in and tries to defend the poor men), and men who are the status quo feel rejected and threatened. I’ve never once told a guy he needed to change for me. They’re more than welcome to be whoever they want to be. But I am not obligated to fuck with them and they don’t like that because they want easy access to all wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 04:08 PM
6

My mom did this to me twice, my dogs when I was twelve and my pet rats when I was 16. My mom is also a mentally unstable, emotionally abusive wingnut. When I was 31, I was arguing with her about something and she threatened to take my cat away. Thirty-fucking-one. I laughed and was like “dude how are you going to do that? You don’t control my life??” and that was the conversation (along with her telling me that she wouldn’t have threatened me but I deserved it) that really made me realize how sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:30 PM
13

It’s also a very subtle form of gaslighting. She’s weird for having an emotional bond with her cat. She needs therapy because she doesn’t want to endanger a living animal. He legit thinks she needs therapy for breaking up with him for being a controlling asshat. It’s like beginner abuse for douchebags
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:28 PM
131

It’s a weapon against her, it sounds like he was testing to see how much he could control her and cut her off from emotional support. My aunt was living with a guy who was similar to this (super jealous of her bond with her cat), except she was in his house and he paid for most things. They were in a super HCOL area so she would have really struggled if she left. They got into an argument one time and he took her 15 year old cat to the fucking pound. When she didn’t immediately dump his ass, go …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:19 AM
17

Yeah I’m “fortunate” that I was super emotionally avoidant in my twenties so i kind of avoided shit like this not because I saw it for what it was but just because I didn’t want to be with anyone. Score one for childhood trauma I guess? 🥸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:04 AM
51

Tbf, I was pretty dumb and naive at 21. Maybe not this naive... but pretty dumb lol. That’s why these men target girls this young
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:25 PM
56

LVM gonna make LV offers. There’s sadly just that many dudes like that these days. Last time I made an OLD to see what the state of affairs was in my city, the only guy I saw who looked even passable had in his profile “I’d love to get to know the right woman over dinner” or something to that effect, and even then part of me was like “this feels like a trap to try to get women to think he’s HV and swipe right, I wonder if he’s even really like that”. Every post I’ve seen on other dating subs, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:22 PM
19

They’re not that bad, they’re still good friends to me and its not so much never ending drama as just husbands/boyfriends who are... mildly disappointing (to me at least) and could definitely be putting in more effort and being more appreciative. The friend I had that was nonstop drama, always ditching me for some random guy she was seeking validation from, only calling for support when he inevitably was a douchebag etc didn’t last long, I literally just don’t have the patience for it. By normal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:01 AM
75

I loved being single in my twenties. Part of it was me dealing with lingering childhood bullshit but I made my space, invested in what I needed and I handled it. I did what I wanted. I vacationed. I hung out with friends. I did jobs that challenged me and that I enjoyed. I went to therapy, and did some self reflection, and cleared out the mental cobwebs to become who I wanted. And now that I’m in my thirties I know what I want, I wasted no time with bullshit that I regret and I let no one suck t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:42 AM
134

Because they might actually have to support their kids and SAH wife if they get caught cheating and get divorced. “She didn’t even work, why does she get half my retirement?!?” Because she didn’t fucking work and you reaped the benefits of that you complete twatwaffle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:46 PM
30

I remember this post. He was so incredulous that she hadn’t had a change of heart and decided to do her womanly duty and stay with him and the kid. It was 100% a control tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:43 PM
1

It always amuses me how TRIGGERED people get talking about this sub. Like... so what if our standards are insane (to you)? So what if you don’t think I deserve them? Go live your life and let me worry about mine. Why the need to vehemently and loudly shout your disapproval from the rooftops? No ones forcing you to try to date me, or meet my standards. I don’t care what you think, and it makes you look sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:20 PM
18

Twenty bucks that when he says “I’ve been used for free lunch” it really means “we go to lunch and in that time they realize I’m neurotic and incel-ish about women and they decide they don’t want to see me but I feel like they owe me something that wasn’t delivered”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:50 PM
17

Women shouldn’t make him happy either. Too many fucking men think their life will be magical if they can just get a girlfriend and it’s sad. That’s way too much pressure to put on anyone, you need to be happy on your own. Also love that any woman who dares critique him is a “raging feminist” as an insult, that man is one foot on the banana peel, one foot in the incel grave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:22 AM
15

I almost lost my fucking shit coming off Effexor, my doctor told me it was no biggie that I was having suicidal thoughts (that were new, I’d never been suicidal prior to Effexor) and to “give it some time to straighten out. Went out of network and paid a psychiatrist thousands of dollars to wean me off it instantly and get me on something else that didn’t make me want to off myself. To this day I refuse to go back on anti-depressants and none of them seem to take it seriously when I tell them wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:21 PM
32

This is why I always order what I want. If I end up paying for it, I’m gonna have eaten what I wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:59 PM
13

I had a friend who was a PA and she said every male doctor she knew was an egotistical fuckwad. She wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole and her standards were the LOWEST of the low
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:25 PM
7

Same but every guy I’ve dated who was shorter than me ended up having a complex. I also find it’s physically more comfortable to make out with someone who is like 2-4 inches taller than I am 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 12:41 AM
15

I have a VERY hard time believing one can be a vagina professional when they don’t have one. There’s only so much you can learn from a textbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 07:01 PM
169

Men: men have rational , logical brains and women are just ruled by their emotions! Also men: I can’t help but ogle, cheat and rape, did you see her clothes, it’s my biology!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:53 AM
2

Like his penis injected stock market knowledge into her brain, and she didn’t learn knowledge like every other human being does. This “friend” is a POS and needs to go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 11:28 PM
35

The only girl I’ve ever met who said she enjoyed anal was a huge kinkmeisha with massive sexual trauma background who tried to play porn star for every guy she met so they’d validate her. I’ve never met a healthy, emotionally functional woman who says she enjoys it 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:43 PM
5

Girl same. I find the same type as my dad that “doesn’t have a problem” but only because they’re super functional at keeping up appearances and so far in denial it’s almost impressive. When I was younger I would give the benefit of the doubt because “it’s not bad if they only have one every once in awhile”. Now I won’t date anyone who isn’t pretty much 100% sober, at least where I live, guys who “just enjoy the occasional beer” means they only get shitfaced on weekends with the boys instead of e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:39 PM
68

Liberal misogyny is “woke” right now and they feel supported by society (which must be such an unfamiliar feeling to a straight man /s). I mentioned that some women go into sex work for reasons other than “I love sex and want to get paid for it” and got a book back about how demeaning that was to women, from a dude. Then he seemed surprised when I didn’t just yield to his “woke feminism” bullshit and actually called him on it. They can all go pay to fuck themselves if it’s so damn eMpOwErInG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:41 PM
7

I won’t do it now (my area is a covid shit show and health... men are desperate... etc). Once we’re done with that tho, I think I may try OLD the way I saw someone post it here awhile ago. Make a profile that reflects that you’re high value Let men swipe on it for however long Pay for whatever plus package let’s you see who already swiped on you Go through those with EXTREMELY strict criteria Let them message you when you match; because they’ve already swiped on you Vet from there I just don’t w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:51 AM
119

I’m a sadist and love watching horrible romance characters torture each other. This show was right up my alley 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:09 AM
8

Picture with another woman. All group pictures (this ain’t Where’s Waldo, and he’s always the least attractive one). Photo using a kid to look paternal (kids photos should not be online with all the pervs). Anything shirtless. Anything in the gym. Anything in the bathroom. Anything derogatory, demanding, whiny in the profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:09 AM
12

I like a beard if it’s well kept. I have met a few guys tho who had the beard-personality and it’s a huge turn off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:59 PM
13

To fully move in together, yes. Prior to being engaged and fully moving in, I like to semi-move myself into their place where I have no obligation and see how it is cohabitating for more lengthy periods of time. Not 24/7 but definitely more than 2 nights a week. In my experience, there’s a huge difference between 2 nights a week and 5-6
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:08 PM
18

One year with two nights a week spent together isn’t nearly enough time for me personally to know if I want to commit to someone legally. I move myself into their place prior to see how it goes (with my own place still so I can leave and jot be stuck obviously). That’s only like 100 nights spent together, that’s nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:50 PM
39

I’m perfectly comfortable giving myself an orgasm. But I prefer PIV orgasms (I know I’m in the minority) and unfortunately you need a P for the IV part 😭 The other commenter is correct tho even when you have a guy, it’s normally disappointing and not worth the risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:53 PM
72

This was one of my biggest issues when I was in my late teens. “He’s an asshole to everyone but me, I must be special!” Or... he just wants something from me still so the other shoe hasn’t dropped yet. But it will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 06:58 PM
10

Suuure Jan 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:25 PM
39

Yeah I don’t think she should have to leave her own home, dad should be making an effort to have one on one time outside of the home. Nothing wrong with a kid wanting some time with just the parent (when I was a kid my dad was big on “including” whatever chick he was dating at the time but it basically meant I didn’t actually hang out with him) but she doesn’t have to be the one bending over backwards. I don’t date guys with kids because of shit like this either
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:00 PM
81

That sub is such a shit show. A woman posted saying a guy launched into “surprise BDSM” (aka sexual assault) and a TON of guys were in the comments with “you need to communicate that you don’t want him to randomly punch you out of the blue” and “how are men supposed to know you don’t like it” and they left it up. The mods are all men trying to push this “you need to have sex by the third date so they know you’re interested” bs. That sub is toxic swerving into dangerous. I’m so thankful I only sp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:56 PM
4

I have this as well. Any anger (or really anything other than compliance) shown towards the adult men in my life meant that it was coming down ten fold on me until I caved mentally and emotionally. I shut everything off and just dissociated from everything. I did really unhealthy things in my twenties to keep that divide active until I just couldn’t maintain and stay sane and started therapy. Now I’m feeling much better, and have gotten in touch with my anger, processed the stuff from the past a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:46 PM
45

I was similar. It felt off, but society was telling me that that was what I was supposed to be doing so I gave it a half hearted effort, but always kind of sucked at it. Still absorbed enough of it to fuck me up, but I always felt like a failure as a woman. Finding this sub was such validation and (while it’s definitely enraging at times being even more aware of the BS that we deal with constantly as women) I am happily trying to unwind everything that I absorbed and get 100% back to a pure , un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:40 PM
32

It’s based on a romance novel (which I actually called before I even knew that, I told my friend it was like watching a live action romance novel) and those are notoriously bad, especially with the “wounded unavailable male succumbs to the precious, doe eyed woman he originally didn’t want, how romantic” 🙄. I have a weird love of hating romance movies and books so Bridgerton was right up my alley, solely for the reasons you listed, there’s something about hating the main characters and wanting t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:36 PM
58

I see it all the time even on this sub. Women post about things that they think are good that are still ingrained catering to men, even if they’re not as pickme-ish as some. And not to say that I’m perfect, I constantly am evaluating my choices and reactions to everything to dissect why I did what I did and how it still subconsciously included bs patriarchal yielding that I don’t want to repeat next time (downside of being a psych major, I analyze everything 😩). It’s really hard to unwind how mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:23 PM
28

I’m taller than most men when I wear heels. It is 100% a thing that men’s attitude/treatment toward me changes when I’m physically towering over them and can look down at them. Intimidating is a compliment. I strive for intimidating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:58 PM
47

They also start to absorb small amounts of estrogen through the penis skin and it changes their dna, stops testosterone and feminizes them as they age. True story, I made it up 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:55 PM
44

I also think it’s men who have tiny penises, they tell themselves that they’re not small, she’s just got a gaping, $lut vagina and thats why the few women (if any) he’s managed to sleep with can’t feel him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:54 PM
138

Every guy that’s bragged about anything sexual has been the greatest disappointment of my life. “I will rock your world” means “there will be no foreplay and then I’m going to jackhammer you like we’re in a porno for 2.5 minutes, orgasm and then immediately make a comment about how amazing it was to soothe my fragile, prematurely ejaculating ego”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:40 AM
7

The last guy sent me 7 super dramatic texts in a row about how he’d tried to get to know me but obviously I just didn’t have the time... 33 minutes after he sent the first two that I didn’t reply to. It’s almost a good thing these psychos out themselves so quickly so I can gtfo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:22 AM
8

One thing I would point out, you initiated the video chat, not him. I wouldn’t even say “let me know if you want to arrange something”, you’re still putting in the effort and prompting the escalation. If he doesn’t make the effort to move it beyond text and make it a proper date, he either doesn’t want to or doesn’t have that driving force in him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 08:19 PM
26

Oh don’t even get me started on those people. They do it to take pictures with kids to put on FB. I have a friend who lives in a heavily religious area and she said they all go on “mission”, bring back refugees from Sudan and places like that so they can tell their friends about the good they’re doing, and then no one in the area will hire them because they’re not American and then they complain when the government has to help them (because they got dragged to a foreign country and essentially s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:50 PM
87

If he’s impatient waiting for a response. I work full time and have other obligations. I don’t leave people on read for days but I also cannot, and will not, guarantee a prompt response every time he wants one. I am not glued to my phone waiting for your every text or call. If it takes me four hours to respond because I’m in meetings (or just don’t have the effort at the moment), then it takes me four hours to respond. I’ve had guys make snide comments and try to guilt me into always responding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:39 PM
57

Yeah I think it’s a pretentious form of escapism. I enjoy traveling occasionally, normally to see historical sites of interest or museums and the like. But when they can’t sit still and have to constantly be jet setting, it’s a sign that they’re not comfortable just being with themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:34 PM
68

His hat looks like the fur bear jacket I wore to Halloween in Vegas a few years ago. It looked better on me, and I wasn’t a treasonous terrorist 💅🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:32 PM
2

That doesn’t surprise me, of course they’re not trying to be better for themselves, gotta do it because of their fragile ego
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:11 PM
3

Now I’m thinking Grand Poobah from the Flintstones. Barney Rubble wore it better, go home loser 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:05 PM
4

Oh trust me, I definitely don’t think not being white automatically makes them great and non-patriarchal (I’ve dated a few Hispanics and their culture is very male-oriented in the old school families). But white men (at least in my personal experience) tend to have it much more hidden, and have some super racist views very ingrained in their core principles to the point where they don’t even realize it, which can make it hard to spot. I’ve run across it recently in several members of my own fami…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:03 PM
9

I’m from a fairly liberal west coast city but lived in South Carolina for a bit when I was younger. I was SO uncomfortable at the casual racism (not to say my big city is perfect, it’s just not that open). I had a guy in a bar look me up and down and tell me I’d have “good white babies” like I was a broodmare. I almost vomited. It made me seriously sus of most white guys because I am super white and I’ve had more than one racist subtly compliment my looks because of the color my offspring would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:00 PM
2

I just laughed so hard I almost choked 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:55 PM
35

It’s the only thing they can do to make themselves feel better. Easier to force people beneath you than to actually improve and raise yourself up. They’re all pathetic little children cosplaying as men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:46 AM
49

The trolls didn’t turn the US into Gilead today so they could enslave us, I’m sure they’re bitterly angry in their moms basement and taking it out on us with the downvote button. Fucking losers 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:44 AM
83

I’m actually mildly impressed even a few of them were able to scale a wall. I just read that three of the four people who died today were from heart attacks. They’re not exactly prime male specimens out there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:41 AM
77

I love how we’re abusive and destructive because we want basic human rights but they see no issue with threatening to enslave us if they can take over a government. The lack of self awareness never ceases to both baffle and amaze me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:18 AM
424

I’m sorry but that hat fucking kills me every time I see this. He thinks he’s a bad ass Viking and he looks like a fucking taxidermied cows ass. I’m at the point where I don’t want to date white men anymore because like 99.9% of them have some kind of hidden (or not hidden) supremacy issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:08 AM
1

My “instant gut attraction” is the remnants of my dysfunction and normally means he’s bad news. I don’t date guys that I find physically hideous just to “give them a chance” but I don’t base things on my first physical response to looks. It ends badly every time lol. If they’re passably attractive, I’ve learned that a good personality and connection will make them the hottest man on earth to me if it grows in that direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:40 AM
191

Yeah it’s one thing to disagree on smaller things but (particularly in the case of Trump) it’s not so much a partisan issue as a “you voted for a man who brags about sexually assaulting women and creeping on teenage girls” issue. That’s a pretty big thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:37 AM
15

Every time I’ve told a guy I was unsure about our relationship, they promptly gone and done something dramatic and whiny that made me positive I needed to end it. Like thanks for helping me make up my mind 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 08:22 PM
2

I’m having the same experience. Things that used to weigh on me are still there, but no longer feel like they’re controlling my mind and impacting me like they once did, and I’m only a few sessions in. A relative that I see often said that she’s noticed a huge change in me and how I handle/respond to things since I started. I feel like it let a young, damaged part of me... I don’t want to say die because it sounds negative but maybe rest...? Instead of constantly feeling like she was there and u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:38 PM
1

Mine is doing it remotely and (while I don’t have in person experience to compare it to) it does seem to be working and she said that she still is having success with her patients.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:35 PM
16

I also did talk therapy for years and got more results with a handful of EMDR sessions. It can be very intense going back into the trauma so definitely be in a safe space physically and a ready space mentally but I highly recommend it when you’re ready. Find a good therapist, one who takes the time to establish baseline trust before starting actual EMDR, and I highly recommend a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:05 AM
12

I’m at this point too. I don’t normally send a ton of pictures anyway but one guy I dated was weirdly pushy about always “send me a pic”. I wasn’t full FDS at the time but now I see it as the shit test it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:06 PM
42

You wanna go old fashioned, rent me a MFing rowboat and read me a sonnet you composed for me while we float amongst the lilies (just not on the first date where I can get murdered out in the middle of a deserted pond). Other than that, nah son
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:02 PM
9

Meh, mine can go first, I wanna hear the full offer before I pledge anything on my end 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:14 PM
39

Yeah most of the scrote comments here are self-burns. “Good luck finding a guy who can wipe his ass and care about you emotionally!” Like... bro... that’s not a good thing that you don’t think men are like that, and you say we’re harsh lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:13 PM
7

Truly masculine men get their masculinity from within, not by positioning themselves opposite submissive women who make them feel masculine by comparison. Truly masculine men aren’t threatened by women of any nature. It’s rare these days to find a guy that doesn’t get his masculinity from others being less masculine tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:11 PM
4

I quit the car scene where I live because I got tired of mansplaining assholes. I’m no expert but I know enough about certain things and I don’t talk about things I don’t know about (and am the first to admit when I don’t know something), it got so old having them shit on what I say and then turn around and applaud the next man who says the exact same thing, especially when most of them here don’t know anything more than throwing money at a mechanic to do the work for them and then go around bra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:07 PM
6

It took months lurking on this sub to realize my last ex was abusive (or trying to be, I left because it confused me and I got tired of dealing with it). Never would have named it as abuse without this sub tho. So glad you had the epiphany and got away from his abusive ass, no one deserves that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:21 AM
22

Don’t be ashamed. They target younger women specifically because they don’t have the experience with the games they run. They’re predatory, and you wised up and got yourself away from him 🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:20 PM
68

To me, there’s something wrong with someone who is ok hoarding an excess amount of money especially when it’s made off of underpaying people and (in today’s time) literally forcing them to work through a pandemic for minimum wage. I like a guy that has empathy and cares about people, even ones he does not benefit from. Obviously you have to afford to live and there’s nothing wrong with taking care of oneself and family. But I think any billionaire who doesn’t do something good with at least some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:52 AM
62

Sooo many guys on Reddit talking about how they shacked up with someone just to not be alone and to have a steady fuckbuddy. I can’t even imagine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:45 AM
6

Well yeah, that’s why they’re popping up in our threads to remind us how much worse men have it /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:40 PM
5

MRAs only want to focus on ways that they think women have it better than them. They don’t ever want to seriously address the shit like toxic masculinity and the way men are raised, because they actually like it. Men are the ones who reinforce shit like “real men don’t cry” and “men are wired for sex like animals”. Very rarely do I come across an MRA that actually wants to address things like that in a positive, impactful way. Most of their “contributions” end at just wanting to derail women’s c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:24 AM
11

I was raised by my grandmas side of the family, who are basically rednecks that were dirt poor up until this generation. My grandma worked her way through college in the 50s instead of just marrying and having kids as a teenager like all her friends did. I don’t ever remember being told that I could or couldn’t do something just because I was a girl, there was no emphasis on girly hobbies or goals. If I wanted to go play in the mud and catch tadpoles with my male cousins, everyone (male uncles i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:19 AM
69

I won’t date musicians or wanna be musicians because of this. Every one I’ve ever known was super into the “rock star” lifestyle, including “polyamory” where they got to sleep with women on the road but the wife/gf had to stay faithful (which isn’t even polyamory, it’s just being a dick).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:04 AM
4

I mean... if pointing something out “isn’t very kind” then I guess we just shouldn’t point stuff out? You said you value honesty and straightforwardness, I haven’t insulted you or denigrated you in any way, just pointed a very biased way of thinking that you apparently don’t want to acknowledge or look at 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:34 AM
7

Your OP says that you’re thankful for guys because groups of women make it dramatic or aren’t honest, and your female friends go to you because the “guy advice” is so superior. The ones your friends with may be that way but that also hasn’t been my experience which is why I commented about the generalization about both genders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:02 AM
18

You know repeated sexual intercourse wears away the sides of the penis and slowly whittles it down... They also absorb female hormones every time so men that are more promiscuous have higher levels of absorbed estrogen and become more feminized /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:03 AM
18

I had a male best friend who gave me guy advice once too. Turned out he was secretly in love with me and subtly giving me advice that would sabotage all my relationship attempts so he didn’t have to watch me date someone else. There are women who are straightforward and honest, I’m confused why you’re acting like this is a gender thing...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:00 AM
34

He’s also probably on steroids. “He takes a pill but I don’t know what”, he’s taking something he shouldn’t be taking. Every guy I’ve known on enhancers couldn’t function properly if their life depended on it. He hasn’t seen a doctor yet because he either would have to admit it and maybe stop, or he’d lie and there’s no point in getting professional advice if you don’t tell them all the factors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 07:42 PM
100

One of my goals in life is to open an animal sanctuary. When men tell me I’m going to die alone with cats (which is surprisingly often, I’m fairly vocal about the fact that I haven’t found a man that even comes close to being worth dating) I always smile and say “I hope so! That’s the goal otherwise all this work is for nothing”. They get so confused, bless their hearts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 07:36 PM
93

They’d poop on the carpet next to it just to spite us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 07:34 PM
66

Is P.F. Chang’s LV? I love PF changs 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:13 AM
15

Same, at 220 I was straight invisible, from like 190 down to my current 155 (now in the “thick” category that’s in vogue now) the amount of objectification I deal with is DISGUSTING. Comments, harassment, I hate the attention. I’ve only really relaxed and enjoyed weight loss since my county went into lockdown and I barely see anyone anymore. It’s kind of depressing having guys ogling what I look like but blatantly not interested in actually getting to know me as a person. I knew it wasn’t going …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:10 AM
230

*pretending to be 28 on Tinder 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 04:30 AM
11

My grandpa LOVED christmas. We would put up the tree and decorate with the family ornaments, drive around looking at Christmas lights and singing Christmas carols, bake cookies and take them to visit family, go to my grandmas singing group concert, wrap presents together and try it make bigger and floofier bows and ribbons and decorations. The “experience” isn’t the presents, it’s the time shared. My dad bought us plenty of presents but was a total grinch and wanted to do nothing with me expect …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:51 AM
19

I kind of watched this play out with my besties relationship, she found out eight years in that he was cheating on her with hookers for at least the last four years of the relationship. We all were kind of blindsided but I realized in retrospect that while there weren’t any overt signs that he was doing that (following IG models, making comments about other women, sexual issues from known excessive porn, hiding his phone use, etc) there were definitely a lot of small signs that were swept aside …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:52 AM
14

I was gonna say, send him a pic of your left kneecap and be like “it’s just a body part” 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:21 AM
2

I mean... I guess if that’s the future you’re angling for it’s a good practice run... 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:15 AM
12

I agree that abstinence isn’t really realistic with how men are. My point is more that they’re engaging in an activity that has known results even with precautions taken and then whining about they shouldn’t be held responsible for those results, or should be able to force an abortion or walk away because they’re not ready.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 07:26 PM
27

It’s not just unprotected sex tho. We know that all sex, even with condoms or birth control, is not 100% safe. If you are having any kind of sex where your penis enters a vagina, there is a chance you will create a child and you should be held accountable for that responsibility. It’s not the kids fault the condom broke. That is known before it happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:23 PM
20

If you’re a man and feel you’re not ready for fatherhood or just don’t want a child, STOP EJACULATING IN WOMEN OF CHILDBEARING AGE. It’s a 100% foolproof method to prevent a woman having a child against your will. We know condoms and birth control fail, that’s part of the risk you (and more so the women who have to bear the fucking child) take when you have sex. There is no world where I have sympathy for assholes who want to have their orgasm and abort it too. It’s not for the mom, it’s for the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:20 PM
10

And twenty bucks says men are going “this is why men don’t talk about feelings”. Like cheating while your wife is in labor is “expressing emotion” and not just disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:25 PM
40

Same, I stopped entirely in my late twenties because I could feel that it wasn’t healthy and I’ve spent the last 4 years getting back in touch with my emotional self and I couldn’t do what I did then anymore. I want intimacy and connection (even tho vulnerability still kind of freaks me out), not just good mechanics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:29 AM
5

Yeesh, yeah I can see where you’d get anxiety from this situation. He’s like a kid who thinks that strawberry ice cream is his favorite flavor, but he’s only ever had strawberry. How do you know mint chip isn’t more your speed if you haven’t tried it? I mean... maybe strawberry is his favorite, but how can you know. I just reread your post and I think the lack of willingness to even look inward is actually a bigger deal than him being inexperienced. Introspection shouldn’t be irritating, it shou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:25 AM
6

I’m not sure if you’ll be able to answer this (and this is kind of a brutal question but I feel like it’s key here so sorry in advance) but do you know if he wanted you or if you were just the first one who said yes? Like did he meet you and pursue you because he specifically liked you, or did things just work out where he got a green light so to speak and went for it because it wasn’t a no? The rejection things kind of worrying too, I know guys will date women they’re not 200% in to because it’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:06 AM
3

Yeah I think with you being his first girlfriend at that age, he likely doesn’t know what he wants, or how to make that happen if he does figure it out. He has zero frame of reference to put you and the relationship in. I’d honestly be worried that he’s just in it for the experience and waiting to see what happens. Six months (for me at least) is still kind of the “getting to know you” stage but I feel like that’s right around the point where one should be figuring out if it’s what they want lon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:58 AM
4

How old are both of you? I feel like the timeline of when you start discussing future things varies slightly depending on whether you’re teens/early twenties and shouldn’t necessarily be in a huge rush to commit versus thirties and up where people should know what they want and be trying to make the future happen. It’s hard to tell but if you’re his first gf are you guys younger? (Also I just perused your profile for a second to see if I could see your age there and went “oh she’s 38... wait J? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:44 AM
9

I forget where, but I was reading an article about how Covid severely escalated relationship timelines, like people who had been dating for unimaginably short periods of time just decided to quarantine together because otherwise they’d be alone and not getting laid. I can’t even imagine ....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:39 AM
99

I did it all through my twenties and that was only because I was so emotionally dead inside from childhood bs that I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a relationship with another human being. It was not healthy at all. Society needs to stop vilifying women for having emotions and not being able to/wanting to operate like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 03:35 AM
35

This. IMO any guy dating right now (at least where I’m at, where Covid is still an absolute shitshow) has to be the same guy who doesn’t want to use a condom during sex “because he knows he’s clean”. If they’re meeting up with you, how many other girls are they meeting and exposing themselves too? I’m not comfortable risking potentially killing someone to get some mediocre dick and I don’t think Zooming it for months and months is a smart way to build a foundation, you lose a lot not being in th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 03:02 AM
13

IG, car shows, parties, walking across the parking lot to go into the grocery store, literally everywhere, they would like come crawling out the cracks. She had the kind of look where you could tell that she was putting a lot of time and effort into looking sexy specifically for men, it was very noticeable and flashy, but even with that it was like she had a fucking neon sign over her head. It was wild, I’d be on the phone with her while she was like walking and suddenly I’d hear guys like almos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 02:56 AM
17

I had a friend back in the day who attracted guys like this all the fucking time. One of them showed up on her front porch and when she wouldn’t let him in, he slept there overnight just in case she changed her mind, he didn’t leave til he had to go to work the next morning. I told her to call the cops but she had such low self esteem she took it as a compliment that guys were that crazy about trying to sleep with her and actually weirdly enjoyed it. I would have been terrified. There are defini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 01:07 AM
8

I’ll have to try it. I refuse to convert to banana laffy taffy tho, #strawberrygang 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 01:00 AM
15

I mean, I like sucking on lemons (I do taste sour but I LOVE it) but I don’t cut it into slices and eat it like an orange, that’s savage lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 12:48 AM
117

Haha, you are literally the first person I’ve ever met in 32 years that even likes the banana let alone says it’s their favorite. I’ve always wondered why they even make it. You must have unique taste buds (not weird, always unique, who cares about every one else ❤️)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:58 PM
113

Yeah if he’s “so scared” he has to go stick his dick in someone ten years younger, imagine how he’d be in an actual pressure situation like childbirth. I literally can’t even with this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:53 PM
6

I’d sacrifice a full head of hair for someone with empathy who isn’t into porn or hurting me in bed (some dudes can rock the bald look if they just embrace it and have confidence). All of their insults just show how little they really understand what they’re lashing out again. All they know is they don’t qualify, but they think it’s because of their height or their hair. It’s so sad, I’d feel bad for them if they weren’t going out of their way to be a creepy, harassing loser on Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:47 PM
400

No ones favorite laffy taffy flavor is banana. What a psychopath, “I wAs LiStEnInG” and gets it completely wrong 🙄 ETA - I stand corrected , RIP my inbox 🍌😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:45 PM
8

I think someone was sending this exact thing around a few weeks ago. They’re literally just copying and pasting whatever bland insult they come up with. I just got one that said that all of our problems come from men “encouraging women’s equality”, like I need a man cheerleading to want to be equal. I wish they spent half the time on themselves that they do obsessing over us, they might get a fucking clue 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:44 PM
46

The last time I reported a harassing message on Reddit, I got a notification back that it “wasn’t abusive and nothing had been done”. Apparently it’s nothing abusive to Reddit to message me telling me I am scum because I’m a woman and I don’t deserve to live. If FDS wasn’t here, I’d have left long ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:41 PM
31

Just a reminder that you are not obligated to shave for anyone other than yourself. Any man that demands anything down there (other than basic good hygiene, that’s a given) deserves nothing. I’ve never had a man balk at sex or going down on me and I refuse to shave so I look like a prepubescent girl, it is not sexy to me. If they had an issue with it I would have got up and left, but it’s just not a thing normal, non-porn addict guys care about in my experience. Porn does not dictate our groomin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:38 PM
39

And then how many posts do you see online like “join a hobby that’s all women and hit on them there!” I’ve seen people here saying to meet a guy through a hobby and I’m like “that’s my space, I don’t want to taint it with some bitter guy that turned out to be LV”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:13 PM
26

Guys who blather on about being “alphas” are not. Assuming that’s even a real thing, the men who are actually (sanely) “dominant”/in control don’t have to tell everyone because they already know it, and demonstrate it in dealings with people (which do not include just beating everyone up)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:00 PM
280

Any guy who brings up clothing or location and says “what did she expect” is a rapey motherfucker and I will never stop pointing that out. The fact that women live in fear of being raped and reporting it and men feel so comfortable basically saying “I understand, agree and sympathize with the guy who did it” is VILE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:53 PM
10

Once I hit high school, I gained just enough weight that I became invisible to most men, cut my hair off and started dressing like a boy. It wasn’t until I was like 19-20 that I got enough confidence to start looking more feminine, I 100% was trying to remove myself from the male gaze. I still dress down for the most part when I go out because it creeps me out when men catcall and hit on me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:50 PM
7

What’s sad too is when it does happen, the general response from men is “where was she when I was 17?” and they glorify it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:38 PM
64

One of my old friends worked in healthcare and said she wouldn’t touch doctors with a ten foot pole (and she had terrible standards, so that really says something). She said they’re all egotistical assholes who became doctors for the prestige and ego boost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:49 AM
93

Yuuup. A lot of abusers drop the facade as soon as you’re legally chained and they think you wont walk away. She needs to gtfo NOW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:17 AM
104

I haven’t felt safe since I started growing boobs at 9 (thanks early puberty). Some girls don’t even get that long. So fucking depressing, especially when a ton of guys reactions to stuff like this is that we’re “lucky to be getting attention”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:15 AM
42

I did see the first movie and he ditched her at the altar, and then she later apologized for pressuring him and married him anyway. I was like wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:39 AM
16

So like... 3 POC in multiple seasons and two feature length movies? That seems unbalanced with the diversity I saw when I visited New York City.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:37 AM
32

My first boyfriend would answer his phone during sex... and get up and leave mid-act if they needed him (he worked a job where they occasionally had late night orders come in and would need his assistance if it was a rush job).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:30 AM
13

“Yikes” at the age gap... The only thing he wants to have in common is their genitals. Gotta lock her down before she grows up and realizes he’s a predator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:42 AM
84

Ok, that one time you took a girl on a coffee date and then lorded it over her for months until she left is not the same situation dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:39 AM
14

I’ve only seen bits and pieces (I never really watched it but lived with someone who watched it obsessively so I caught plenty of snippets walking through the living room) but I don’t think I ever saw a character that wasn’t white. All four of the leads, every man they slept with or even checked out in a bar, everyone they were tangentially friends with. Hopefully OP replies because I’m curious as well if it’s something specific beyond this but that would be my (uneducated) guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:37 AM
6

I would never use OLD the traditional way (just too much of a time investment for me personally) but someone posted here awhile ago saying they made an account that really tried to convey that she was a HVW, let guys swipe on her for a bit and then paid the 20 bucks for Tinder gold and went through the ones who’d already chosen her and selected any that met her (extremely strict) criteria. She let them reach out and followed FDS and said she was in a year long relationship with someone who was s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 08:47 PM
22

I always tell younger women not to overly commit until at least after 25. You’re still finding yourself and what you want in life. If I had married the guy that proposed at 19 or the one that proposed at 24, I would be miserable right now. And 19 year old me wanted to marry him for the longest time, luckily I was over it by the time he tried to use it to trap me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 08:29 PM
1

I didn’t mean to imply that you were victim shaming rape victims, if my comment came across that way then i apologize for that portion of it. I said that your comment re the OF sounded like victim blaming to me and attempted to equate it with the phrasing that other victim blamers use against women. I don’t think they’re on the same levels but I do think that the line of thinking that places the blame on women for their perceived “part” of the issue is similar. But again, apologies if I didn’t a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:09 PM
1

Healthcare workers (outside of doctors) are traditionally female, it’s underpaid because #patriarchy. It’s why male nurses get made fun of (for being “womanly”), and when women say they work in a hospital the assumption is always nurse and not doctor. It’s sad that this is the only option a lot of women feel they’re left with, and that it’s being sold to the younger generation as empowering. I got into a thread with someone on one of the other women’s subs about how “it can be empowering and I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:06 PM
65

That OP sounds like a dude? “Hands that knew a hard days work”? “We both had a tear in our eye”? Did everyone clap? Puh-leeze ETA/ so I actually just came across this post on the front page, if it is a dude that’s a dedicated post history pretending to be a woman. I still think this sounds overly flowery and made up tho, she’s like white knighting for mens “right” to be able to insert their physical assessments into our daily lives
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 06:29 PM
30

Twenty bucks days he only likes “ExOtIc” women (aka he fetishizes WOC).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:10 PM
19

I’ve had one guy who genuinely cared if I had a good time (or at least seemed like it, who knows). Every other one cared about it as gratification for his ego. And it sounded like a porn soundtrack. “Does that feel good? Yeah, you like that? Did I make you come?” It wasn’t about if I was enjoying it for my pleasure, it was if they had made it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:38 AM
18

This is why men die earlier than women. That is a heart attack in a bucket right there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:25 AM
13

Just the fact that you’ve started seeing these things and turning them over in your mind means he’s on his way out. Trust me, things like this can’t be unseen and I honestly believe you’re just delaying the inevitable and throwing good time after bad. Once we remove things from our life that are not beneficial or that don’t align with who we truly are, we clear time and energy that can be directed into better relationships and connections. If you’re stuck spending time with this dude, you might …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:23 AM
39

“I can’t swim” I’m sorry but I’m fucking dying that a mans mad that you don’t want to go on a date that may literally kill you (in a whole new way outside of the potential violence we face from dating). Also who the fuck does swimming dates? I’ve literally never heard of such a thing. It sounds like an elaborate ploy to get to see you in a swimsuit without makeup, like some scummy PUA scam
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 11:00 PM
33

There was a post on another dating sub that had a really good analogy for this. She said men are starving for lack of food and can’t understand that we’re starving because we’re drowning in food but it’s all rotten 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:55 PM
93

And light it on fire on the way out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:55 PM
11

I also don’t think anything here can be construed as “hell yeah sis, get spoiled by a man cheating on his wife and milking his kids futures for his penis”, this is the exact dude we’re trying to weed out. He sounds like the lowest of the LVM, having/spending money does not automatically a HVM make (and i repeat this often because newer members of the sub and RP lurkers seem to get that twisted sometimes). We’re not a sugar baby sub. His APs obviously got some pick me shit she needs to work out i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:50 PM
3

I really don’t get this push to meet men at work or in hobbies, those are my spaces, I don’t shit where I eat or play. Tried both in my 20s and learned that it’s not for me, and would strongly advise others against it unless they’re willing to walk away from either if the guy turns out to be LVM and gets petty. I’ve never really done OLD (I made a profile once just to see what type of men were on there but never went past that) but I can see how used properly it can be one more option (obviously…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:15 PM
15

Thank you for this, this just reinforces that we’re not crazy for wanting basic things out of men. He literally sounds like a well balanced, thoughtful human being, it’s refreshing. Do you mind telling us where you met him? I’m always interested in the meet story since there are literally endless ways to connect with someone in this day and age
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:03 PM
19

When I started here there were a few things I didn’t quite get, and then after reading more it was like “oh this actually makes sense”. Then I read more and realized my last ex was 100% abusive in teeny tiny little gaslighting ways that drove me nuts but I could never quite articulate. That was a fucking eye opening moment. Like I knew it was stuff I didn’t like, but never would have seen it for the abuse it was without this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:36 PM
266

“Pornhub scrambling after losing Visa/MasterCard”. They don’t actually give two shits about the exploitation or this would have happened years ago, not just when it hit the front page of the NYT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:30 PM
121

As I’ve gotten more attractive, dating has gotten worse and FDS more necessary. Men will do/say anything to try to get their dick wet, it doesn’t magically get better if you’re societies definition of “hawt”. This oft repeated “pretty women have it so easy” is such bullshit. One of my friends in high school was model gorgeous and she dealt with so much abuse from men everywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:28 PM
17

If you’re just trying to get whatever he’s willing to give then whatever but I hope you don’t mistake spending money for HV if you actually want a real relationship with this dude. He’s too old and (from the admittedly small amount I know about him he sounds) condescending, which is super typical of age gaps especially when you’re early twenties and he’s over thirty. He knows he has to dazzle because you’re young and hes a thirty year old predatory creep. When you’re his age, 21 is a baby in ter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:00 AM
24

Is this the guy that’s like ten years older than you and condescending about you wanting a nice purse because it isn’t “smart”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:24 AM
116

I’d bounce too if someone was lying to me about a terminal illness. That’s like... next level psychotic shit. “I was going to tell the woman I love but then thought... nah”. Like... what? She’s crazy to go back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:45 AM
59

“Why aren’t they pity-fucking meeeee?!?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:35 AM
39

Focus on getting yourself set up and what you want in life. Lay groundwork or if you don’t know what you want, try enough things that you at least find a direction to head in. Even if you don’t 100% have an endgame in mind, any movement may set you on a path to find what you want long term. Save money, go to school, figure out where you want to buy a house, or travel or what have you. Don’t go broke trying to keep up with the Joneses. If you do date, don’t overinvest in it at your expense. Men w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:26 AM
101

Because humor generally involves some amount of intellect to be witty, especially conversationally, and most can’t keep up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:11 AM
2

That’s great, I wasn’t sure if it was the same guy or not lol. The memes still right tho, you already know or you wouldn’t be posting here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 12:43 AM
8

You shouldn’t have to ask. If he doesn’t do it because he wants to, take that at face value. ETA- So I checked your post history because there’s often extra details in other posts... You posted a meme here awhile ago that said “if he isn’t messaging you, put your phone away”. Time to take your own advice, sis. (Also is this the same dude who wasn’t making you orgasm but was perfectly fine having you go down on him?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 11:26 PM
16

“He rarely forgets” means he does forget. Obviously I don’t know him but his texts sound like flowery bullshit, I grew up with someone like this and my BS-meter is going off. My dad always said “you can’t bullshit a bullshitter” and I learned from the best, i can normally spot it from a mile away. No disrespect to any ladies on here that are religious (not so much anti-religion as anti-men who use religion to blow smoke up peoples asses) but in my experience, men who are very vocal about how rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 11:23 PM
6

Absolutely! Continue to vet and see if anything starts to grow or if he really isn’t the one for you. That’s the whole point of dating ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:06 PM
7

How dare women think about things, have emotions and checks notes compliment each other. Really?!! This is what you’re upset about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:01 PM
6

Someone in another thread said “they get offended when we hit the truth” and she was right. The ones who white knight for “not all men” usually are one of the men were talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 07:30 PM
11

Yeah it took me awhile to work out that “chemistry” as I knew it wasn’t good. I didn’t feel that upset stomach feeling with the one guy I dated who was stable and not avoidant, and it was enlightening that it can be a good relationship without what I’m used to feeling as “attraction”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 07:28 PM
47

Depends on what it’s rooted in. Are you considered man hating for being cautious that you might get assaulted or raped? Because that is a real possibility and any man who is sympathetic to what we go through won’t be offended by you being realistic and cautious. I used to get told I was a man hater and needed to open up more. Those same men then tried to take advantage of me in inappropriate situations and reinforced what I had initially believed. If you’re just inexplicably hating a man that’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:34 PM
40

For me, instant physical chemistry is normally an anxious response to uncertainty and excitement (and not the good kind). There definitely should be some kind of response when you kiss but I agree with the other commenter that a stable, non-anxious “chemistry” takes a few months to build and start to reveal itself. If you’re not feeling it after 2-3 months, I’d cut him loose but I think it’s too soon to call it just because you don’t get overwhelming butterflies when you see him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:19 PM
21

“He later sexually assaulted me that night” Oof. I’m so sorry you went through that. It does seem like the ones who white knight on behalf of “not all men” and get offended by insinuations in these situations are secretly defending the fact that they have similar urges and thoughts. I always say, any guy who says that women deserve to get raped in certain situations is revealing himself as a rapey motherfucker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:02 PM
29

Yeah the whole phrasing is weird and forced. He was planning on making dinner prior to cases rising? But is using that as excuse to justify it now? It just reeks of deception
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:58 PM
182

“Could you come over” and not “do you want to come over”. It sucks that men collectively are so shitty that what should be a nice offer of making someone dinner has to be taken as an attempt to escalate physicality so they can get laid. I wish we lived in a world where nice offers were just nice offers. ETA- I just read some of the comments, it’s a bunch of dudes defending this guys right to try to get laid. “Why doesn’t she just say no?!?” Most men will never fucking get it, and so they keep up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:16 AM
71

“He wants a relationship til he has sex and realizes she’s not interesting enough” puh-leeze... The men on that sub are such faux-intellectuals, they all own a thesaurus and think the multi-syllabic words make their red pill bullshit sound smarter 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:38 AM
86

I remember watching the VH1 show back in the day and laughing hysterically at how ridiculous it was (the guyliner and the peacocky hat were priceless). It was basically a “how to spot PUAs in the wild” reality show, it was actually super helpful in helping me pick out those types of guys while out at bars and the like. Granted this was before incels had started killing people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:33 AM
81

I saw a meme the other day, one of those “what feels like a mental illness but isn’t”, and the answer was “dating men”. I died laughing and sent it to my gay bestie and he was like “yuuuup”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 10:20 PM
3

All of your comments have been sweeping generalizations that come across extremely condescending. Again, if you can’t see how quoting “your life must be crap and you must be unattractive” is rude and unnecessary in a space where we’re supposed to be building each other up and focusing on how to date and live in an empowered way... 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 08:29 PM
5

Again, you’re assuming a lot about people’s lives and stability. Someone who has $10,000 in the bank isn’t going to end up financially impoverished from buying one $5 scratcher for shits and giggles. Of course people who don’t have five bucks to spend shouldn’t be buying endless lottery tickets thinking it’s going to financially save them, and they shouldn’t spend that whole 10 grand on endless lottery tickets, just like people who don’t have an enriching single life shouldn’t sink all their tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:45 PM
31

So he’s basically admitting that it’s considered masculine to make all your decisions based on yourself. You said the quiet part out loud dude 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:28 PM
9

All of my friends are female or gay, and all of their friends are female or gay. I won’t date at work. Most of my hobbies are also primarily female oriented (crocheting, pottery, etc) and I honestly don’t like dating within hobby groups either because then if it ends badly I potentially lost my peaceful space. It’s already happened with the last guy I dated that I met through a hobby, I’d rather have the friends and hobby than a bf. I live in a city with 1.2 million people (7.75 million in the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:08 PM
9

Yeah they never want to have the “biology” discussion about how in nature, the females normally are selective in who they breed with to ensure genetic superiority (to the point where they’ll kill males who try and aren’t worthy). When we do it now, we’re gold diggers and hypergamists and bitches. But when men rape and kill, that’s just biology. I’m so done with the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:24 PM
6

There was a post here awhile back (that I should have saved) from a woman who used OLD but did it very scrupulously. Full standards (and there was a very long detailed list) and she followed FDS to a T and said she was in a relationship with a man who still seemed HV after a year. I believe she said she made a detailed profile that basically showed her HVW personality (not in a pick me way) and then waited a bit, paid for the package where she got to see who had already swiped on her, selected w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:21 PM
48

The only thing you have to watch for is “are they chasing because they’re interested” or “are they chasing because you wounded his narcissistic pride and he has to prove to himself that he can make you fall for him”? I was a freakin magnet for narcs in my twenties (thanks dad) and it can take awhile to realize they’re only interested in soothing their pride that you didn’t fall all over them, especially if they’re older and better at running their game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:52 PM
14

Yeah where I would be being even more selective right now, there’s no way to know if the men that seem HV are doing the same. If they’re trying to meet me, I assume they’re doing the same with other women (same thing as if they’re trying to have sex without a condom). Now is not the time (especially where I’m at, shit is ugly here right now)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:47 PM
28

Girl same. I’m 5’9” and have been since I was like 15. If they say they’re six foot, they’re definitely gonna be shorter than me. If they say 6’ - 6’2”, they’re probably right around my height (occasionally they’re actually six foot but that’s RARE). Bonus points for the ones who start trying to gaslight me into believing that I must be taller than I think I am because they’re actually six foot. Like I suddenly grew three inches... Then they get passive aggressive mad when I don’t go along with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:44 PM
7

ItS oUr BiOLoGiCaL nEeD tO sPrEaD oUr SeEd. Aka they can’t control their penis. I once saw a post that (in all seriousness) compared women to sirens, and they were the brave men battling to resist our magical song. Like we have literal magic enticing them to their doom and it isn’t just that they’re losers who watch too much porn and believe it when the patriarchy tells them they’re more important because they’re a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:56 AM
211

The whole point of “ladies night” is guaranteeing men that there will be plenty of drunk women available. It’s a marketing tactic and not for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:37 AM
274

Any decent man will appreciate you stepping up to defend the woman they love in that way. No good man would get upset by this and would understand why we have to do things like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:36 AM
59

I am 100% going to start using it as a rebuttal to anyone who uses the term “friendzoned”. Like somehow it’s more offensive that we won’t sleep with a man than it is to be reduced to a hole they want to stick their dick in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:34 AM
17

When making plans I just don’t ever offer it up as an option. In the beginning I don’t want them knowing where I live in case they end up being crazy (and I’m not comfortable not having my own car to leave if dinner goes badly) so if they offer “I’ll come pick you up” I just say “oh no, I’ll meet you there” or “I’ll come over to your place” and leave it at that. If they really push, they’re not someone I want to date anyway so I just cancel. Once we’re officially dating I just kind of make plans…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 12:07 AM
41

They don’t “know what’s up”, they’re only changing it because of public pressure and their image. Visa allows people to donate to the KKK, they don’t give two shits about morals unless it affects their bottom line or threatens legal trouble (like being involved with facilitating CP might)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 10:25 PM
13

I like actual ridiculous/cheesy dad jokes (reminds me of my grandpa and I have a cheesy sense of humor to start with). One of the other commenters said her bf would get mad if she didn’t find them funny tho and that is controlling and crazy, my grandpa would just laugh at his own jokes and move on (kind of like I do 🤦🏼‍♀️😂)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 10:23 PM
21

Holy crap, I just googled and my state is anything more than 3 days in a row or over two weeks in a six month period. TIL that I was technically a squatter at my last boyfriends house, I don’t let them come to mine 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 10:21 PM
32

Some moron posted on another sub that women not procreating with incels is genocide (his actual words) because we’re “trying to end the human race” and then came over here and was spamming the post making fun of him trying to defend it. It was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen (and they spout some ridiculous shit on the daily). I will never stop laughing about how me not having sex is equivalent to systematically killing an entire race, never mind the complete lack of self awarene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 10:12 PM
14

Both of my doctors and my therapist are women. My car salesperson is a woman. My handy person and my dentist are women. I literally didn’t even do this consciously, your post just made me realize it. This is a very key point, ultimately we speak loudest with our money. It’s all most men care about. We need our own insular communities where we look out for us like they’ve been doing for centuries
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:30 PM
12

Yes. Too many posts on Reddit about how they reconnected and are back in the same loop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:16 PM
18

Men - “boys need to grow up with a male role model so they can learn to be a man” Also men - “I shouldn’t be responsible for that kid if she won’t have an abortion like I demand. Women are trying to oppress me!” Also also men - “it’s the woman’s fault that she’s a single parent, she should have magically known that the guy lying to her was going to bounce and be a shitty dad” No accountability anywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:14 PM
12

I would lose my fucking shit if someone was interrupting my sleep like this. He would not have made it a year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:55 PM
26

“I don’t know how to change it” That’s because you’re ancient, and also because it’s not an accident. They never accidentally add ten years and age themselves out of younger women’s filters. They always magically go younger. It’s disgusting, and it’s the first sign that they have zero respect for a woman’s boundaries and preferences. I posted about this on DOT and so many women were agreeing, the guys couldn’t even defend it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:54 PM
13

Yeah my main issue with dating shorter is that they normally have some weird issue with it and I got tired of putting in time only for them to slide into being passive aggressive about it. I might give someone a chance these days if there was ZERO signs of that but it’s so common in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:42 PM
46

But when I say “ok, I’ll stay single” because nothing is worth “fighting for”, suddenly it’s genocide 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:39 PM
3

I forget what it stands for but it’s a type of therapy where you basically work through traumatic memories in a way that’s supposed to help you kind of resolve them mentally. It involves mentally revisiting the trauma but guided by a therapist and with mental “safeguards” in place to help you process and kind of unwork the scarring. I don’t quite understand it fully but (at least after my first session) it seems to be working at least a tiny bit, although it is kind of unnerving purposefully goi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:08 PM
10

I had a similar experience growing up. Not only can I not stand up for myself to men, if I hear a man yelling or getting agitated in the near vicinity (even if it isn’t directed at me) I get a full blown panic attack and want to flee. I’m trying EMDR right now, supposedly it helps with PTSD events that left lasting effects like this. I’ve only done one session so I can’t say if it’s going to completely help but it did seem to make me less fixated on that memory and I don’t get the same emotional…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:15 PM
6

I have no idea where this is but my local “town center” is literally a run down shopping center with a Round Table Pizza and a hobby shop, so the mental image I’m getting from his “offer” is hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:44 AM
89

I’ve always been super weirded out by male OBs. You don’t know what it’s like to have female parts, and why the f would you choose staring at vagina all day? Go stick your finger up a guys ass and save him from cancer 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:39 AM
37

Men expect to be able to have a whole ass mental breakdown and have women deal with it. Get a therapist like the rest of us do. Sure I have friends who reciprocate emotional care and support, but only within reasonable, normal emotions. If I’m having a crisis, I get help. They don’t want to put any effort into their own mental health and recovery and then complain that we don’t allow them to have feelings (when in reality other men are the ones shaming men for being normal emotional beings... “s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:37 AM
92

Yeah this is weird af. When I was more social and had more male friends, I was totally chatty with their SOs. If they’re dating a friend, they were a friend of mine by extension. The friend seems like she’s guarding the boyfriend and doesn’t want to acknowledge that the girlfriend is part of his life now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 09:40 PM
3

It’s amazing they don’t realize how pathetic they look. I can’t even imagine spending time lurking their little incel subs let alone harassing them via Reddit. What a loser 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:27 PM
49

They’re ragging on the parent that stayed, instead of focusing on the deadbeat dad that left his own child (and probably doesn’t even pay child support). Twenty bucks says these men also treat single fathers like heroes. It’s a total sign of an LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:21 PM
57

Thank god she found out he’s a whiny creep before having a kid with him. I call incel fanfic tho, (assuming her terminology is correct) recovering a busted hard drive is like thousands of dollars and doesn’t always work, there’s zero chance this happened if she’s using the right wording. Even if it was just a dead laptop and the HD still worked (and this actually happened), it takes effort and money to pull it and make it accessible, the amount of effort he put into this is truly stalker level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:18 PM
20

Yeah the “secret dating strategy” is to love yourself and then you don’t put up with bs if you want to date. I’d say don’t tell the scrotes but we pretty much scream it from the rooftop and the LVM still don’t get it. I personally don’t have marriage or even dating as an endgame goal, I’ve been planning my life around me since day 1 since I have zero patience for bullshit and realized early on that most men were bullshit. Once I stopped trying to “fit in” my life got so much better. But I’m not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 06:09 AM
50

Well said. That’s gonna be a no from me dawg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:58 AM
16

Eesh yeah that’s bad news. I dated guys that much older when I was your age but now that I’m 32, it seriously grosses me out. The thought of dating someone ten years younger at my age makes me gag (I don’t mean this condescendingly or anything so I hope it doesn’t come across that way, it’s just a huge life experience gap that’s hard to understand before you’ve lived it, which is what men like this are looking for. They know women your age are more likely to let him lead and try to kind of fit i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:42 PM
24

They completely miss that we don’t want a predator who goes after young girls and fucks around even if he does have a full head of hair. The complete lack of self awareness is just staggering, what a fucking loser 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 10:30 PM
10

Just out or curiosity, what’s the age gap? I’m guessing you’re early twenties and he’s over thirty? Possibly over 35? He definitely has the sound of someone who likes younger girls because they’re impressionable and easy to mold into his ideal woman (and I say that as someone who dated ten plus years older for awhile, it gets annoying af when they think they’re superior because of age)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 10:23 PM
57

Yeah for me it’s the “that’s not a smart thing to want” condescension that would be a total turn off. There’s a time for business and a time for play and treating ourselves within what we can afford (otherwise what’s the point of hustling, money in and of itself does nothing, it’s the experiences and freedom money allows that I want), guys that are all business all the time don’t make good partners. My ex would literally answer his work phone mid intercourse and then leave, like I need some boun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:09 PM
35

To answer your other question, appropriate age gap is 3-maaaaaybe 5 years max at your age. He’s 16 years older than you, could you imagine dating someone who’s 18 (just to keep it legal, and that’s not even close to the gap you’d have with him). He’s in an entirely different life stage, and the fact that he’s going after girls so much younger is gross. He knows it. That’s why he deflected the question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:34 AM
67

“No red flags popped up while vetting him” The reason men his age date younger is because they know you’re likely inexperienced enough to not recognize that him completely disregarding you asking a question is a huge red flag. Regardless of what the question was, but in this case he disregarded it because he knows that him being almost 20 YEARS older than you is gross and predatory. When you’re 35, he’s going to be retiring. I dated older in my teens/20s. When I was 29 I dated a 41 year old brie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:11 AM
12

I have a question about your phrasing- did he tell you that he’s getting you something and he told you that because of that he expects something in return, or is the expectation coming from you? Because if he told you, “I got you a big Christmas gift, you better have got me something too” you need to run. Transactional gift givers are bad news and him paying for everything doesn’t mean shit if he’s rich and money means nothing. A lot of men like that essentially think you owe them because they p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:34 PM
8

I was literally just reading some scrote rant about how us expecting men to listen when we speak and remember things about us is “mind reading”. I couldn’t even make this shit up 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:30 PM
82

I hate that excuse. I have a bad memory. Mix of ADD and multiple concussions as a child. I have everything in my phone, with reminders, alarms, dates, everything I know I won’t remember on my own, and I check it regularly. “I didn’t remember” means “I didn’t make an effort to remember”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:35 PM
50

“I’m a female myself” Me- “Suuure, Jan”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:57 AM
43

“At least he’s at home and not out cheating” (aka he’s too busy staring at the TV to cheat) “He treats me better than anyone else has” (aka he’s too busy staring at the TV to physical beat me) Every girl I’ve known with a gamer boyfriend came from super dysfunctional households and viewed not being physically abused as their best relationship ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:52 PM
4

The wife, not the affair girl (although affair girls age is even more sickening)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:16 PM
27

I can’t even imagine how sad your life has to be to lurk subs that don’t want you and harass people on Reddit PMs 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:11 AM
8

I’m so proud of you for being strong for yourself! You deserve so much better and I’m so glad you made yourself the priority and stood up for yourself. You have to clear garbage like this out of your life to make room for better to come into your life but until then, enjoy your life ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:36 AM
114

Ahh yes my blessing with a man who calls women hoes 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:17 PM
12

I always kind of look at it as “high value mate”. Someone can be perfectly nice but have other qualifiers that make them unsuitable as a mate for me. But I agree, I think people take “value” specifically as offensive that we’re passing judgement on people’s worth as a human being (but honestly some of them are just low value people, sorry not sorry).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:19 PM
65

Same. My main I just don’t use FDS terminology on that sub and I get upvoted for the same message just without they key words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:48 PM
38

No no, it’s a kink, he’s totally only racist in bed /s It scares me what women are told to overlook because “it’s a kink”. He only wants to punch, strangle and piss on you in bed, it’s perfectly fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:17 PM
28

All of the sex subs are rife with predators trying to normalize their thoughts. I had someone on sexover30 tell me that a woman should be willing to do anything whenever he wants it to please her man if she expects him to be monogamous. Strangely, he did not think that I should be able to demand pegging with a 12 inch strap on if my man expects monogamy from me. I’ve been thinking about posting something on 2X warning the younger women to stop taking all the advice they get from Reddit because t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:15 PM
196

My last FWB was like this. He deadass told me “I don’t cuddle after sex” and then threw a fit when I was like “well ok, thanks for the orgasm, bye” and didn’t stick around to try to cuddle with him so he could reject me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:06 PM
33

Exactly! I had someone PM me here saying that it was unreasonable for me to expect a caring, loving husband and that it was “selfish”. The entire point is I do all of the things that I want reciprocated in a relationship, as do most of us. None of us are sitting around expecting our man to cater to our every emotional whim while we lay around eating Bon bons and emotionally abusing them... We are that great so wanting a man like that is equality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:03 PM
43

Minus the prank call, this is the exact timeline of my besties engagement ultimatum, only to find out he’s been fucking hookers the whole time. And of course now she’s “married and invested” and won’t leave. So depressing. If you have to twist their arm to marry you...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:58 PM
60

Yeah I meant the ages she got together with him, I should have specified. I always do the math to see how young and naive the girl was when they got together. He’s disgusting, I’m so glad I didn’t marry or get knocked up by any of the creepy older dudes I thought I was so mature for dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:56 PM
14

Yeah I feel like she talks FDS but she puts up with bullshit because her men have money to pay her. Although occasionally shed rip them a new one when they were really bad and that was always entertaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:45 PM
135

My first thought was “twenty five and thirty seveeeen”... no guy in his late thirties should be interested in a naive mid twenties girl. I’m 32 and guys in their late twenties (within a five year range) seem like babies to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:41 PM
39

How happy can you be if all you do is watch tv? No hobby stuff, no where for a guest to sit and hang out. This looks depressing af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:52 AM
42

I don’t love some of her policies but I do like her chutzpah (as my grandpa would say). I literally made an audible cheering noise when I heard her say that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 11:28 PM
37

Every comment is calling him out on it at least. DatingOverThirty tends to push sex on the third date “so the guy knows they’re interested” (or at least they used to, I’ve been seeing it swing back the other way where women aren’t taking crap like that anymore and men are giving up on the bullying), DatingOverForty tends to be more mature, I’m not really surprised that everyone’s calling him out. I’m not over forty but I’ve lurked to see what to expect and they all are like “uh, you need to slow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 11:18 PM
193

A man who interrupts me, apology or no, is a man I don’t need to be around. It’s really not that hard, watch them to speak to other men and most of them are perfectly capable of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 08:59 PM
10

In my experience I’ve been anxious/avoidant because the person wasn’t trustworthy and I ended up being right about it not being smart to relax and be more emotionally open. We often pick up in unconscious cues. Honestly, in my experience most people aren’t worth dropping the guard down for. The one guy I dated who had a very secure attachment style, it wasn’t an issue at all, I was able to relax and start to open up in what I would consider a normal timeline. It didn’t work out for other reasons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 06:22 PM
19

And that’s the only thing he lists as why he loves her. Some men are just vile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:06 PM
5

Agreed, in my experience first born males tend to be more spoiled and self centered, but I also have dated several men that were from cultures that heavily favor the first born son (especially if he’s the first born child) and it was obvious that their parents had imparted that mindset to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:02 PM
32

Him getting you a gift with nothing in return is also an excellent opportunity to see if he’s a transactional gifter or not. Specifically thinking of the post from yesterday where the guy said she didn’t gush enough about his 9 dollar present (that he told her about and didn’t even let her open and be “surprised”?) and then he asked if he was getting the same personal gift her friends got. People who expect things in return and don’t gift things because they want to are the worst ones to end up …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:58 PM
119

You’d think they’d stop having kids, but nope. It is their god given right to have sex, create human beings and not take care of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:25 AM
3

It’s not even so much “being strong”. It’s identifying what you’re getting from him (attention, validation, love, whatever it is) and learning how to give that to yourself as part of your self care and love. You have to love you and look out for you more than you love him. You deserve better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:02 AM
56

If he’s 14 and acting like this, she’s already missed the boat. He’s throwing a tantrum because it sounds like she throws tantrums.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:00 AM
7

They’re men trying to bully women into accepting shitty treatment so they don’t collectively have to step their game up, like 99% of Reddit. I read your post history. The number of posts you’ve made about him and his shitty behavior tells me all I need to know. He pulled a classic LVM move and popped back up “to talk”, you did it once before you can do it again. You just have to figure out what in you is willing to put up with this instead of putting yourself first, and work on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:58 AM
8

No this is 100% him trying to force a deeper connection on his timeline, the little gift and his irritation with her not gushing about it, asking if he’s going to get a poem card to try and essentially put her on the spot where she’s supposed to say yes (good on her for saying no)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:52 AM
6

I came across that post on my main after I made this comment, someone told him it sounded “transactional and demanding that he asked her if she was going to give him the same gift as her friends and wasn’t happy with her reaction to his small gift” and he called the commenter “judgey” and then I think deleted the post (it was gone when I went back to look for it). He sounds like a fucking nightmare, two months is nothing. Ive dumped several guys at two months for getting clingy and demanding lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:48 AM
23

I’m really confused with all the comments saying “she’s just not that into him”. It’s been two months. Per FDS, she’s not supposed to be super in to him two months in. She doesn’t even know him and he sounds emotionally manipulative and whiny. He says she’s emotionally guarded, that’s exactly what FDS advocates for. He spent $8.99 and wants a fucking parade, big fucking whoop, go write her a god damn sonnet and maybe then you’ll work way up to best friend level Any guy I’ve been with for two mon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:10 PM
41

They also don’t listen to anything the women say. It’s not a debate if you just blanketly dismiss anything that doesn’t agree with your preconceived notions of the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:56 PM
243

PPD (purple pill debate) is the biggest circle jerk of incels trying to sound smart you will ever find. Everything there is like “so we all know that academically speaking, females will gravitate to men with more money and bypass other specimens of equal quality...” like dude... just because you have a thesaurus doesn’t mean your antiquated red pill ideology is true, gtfo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:20 PM
25

I wouldn’t send someone a hand written poem after two months. You barely know them, they’re not even close to being at best friend level. I don’t see him writing her a sonnet, he only spent 8.99
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:57 PM
21

They don’t. I made a comment on a different sub about how often men try to invalidate my experiences and (of course) a man pops up to invalidate my experience of having my experiences invalidated! And then flipped out about how I don’t respect him when I pointed it out. He wasn’t super happy when I told him I didnt respect him, nor did he automatically deserve it just for being a man in this world. It’s infuriating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:50 PM
37

Men that told me “I don’t cuddle after sex” would throw a tantrum that I didn’t want to cuddle after sex (I was a magnet for narcs in my younger days). They have to be the one pushing women away or their ego can’t handle it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:48 PM
45

In my twenties, I would orgasm (if I could) and then kick them out of bed, especially if they tried to like cuddle or shit like that. Spoiler alert- they do not like it, it hurts their little fee fees. We are supposed to make them feel wanted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:58 PM
34

Ok. But the thing is most of us already give that, and just want it reciprocated. The one friend I have who I would consider being in a HV relationship from what I’ve seen, she goes above and beyond for her family, so when her husband does the same IT IS “EQUALITY”. I haven’t seen anyone on FDS say “I want my husband to bend over backwards and cater to me and I’m just going to sit here and emotionally abuse him”. We’re not men 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:52 PM
13

I like to role play Mariah Carey, it’s the only way I can get off 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:50 PM
142

Every single one of their arguments is based on sex being a human right (for them). Even the moron who thought that women abstaining from sex was genocide, even if it was... so what? Use your free time to figure out an artificial womb instead of stalking women on Reddit, we’re not under any obligation to have sex or procreate even to save the entire god damn species. Get over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:41 PM
14

Yeah it shouldn’t be grandiose words, it should be slow and steady small actions of care and attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:53 PM
29

Why do women think we all have some magical trick to make men give a shit that we’re just keeping secret? If anyone could get a man to care with some magical action or words, WED BE SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. Every freakin post is some repeat of “he’s not listening or doesn’t care, how do I make a grown human listen or care?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:50 PM
56

This is why I don’t date men that drink anymore. Even if they’re usually a happy drunk, they’re still a drunk. I’m so sorry he talked to you like that, no one deserves that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:44 PM
149

IMO women multi date to find the right man (as we need to with how vetting works for us). Men multi date to see how many they can get to sleep with them at the same time, men tend to know extremely early on and be pretty certain once they do. If he’s continuing to see other women (especially with this park/coffee shop nonsense), he ain’t it boo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:34 AM
57

Actually it does, it means he’s faux-nice as a manipulation tactic and then turns into a raging dick the minute he doesn’t get what he wanted (usually sex)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:31 AM
14

I always get “you’re going to be a crazy cat lady” like it’s a bad thing. Like yeah... that’s why I’m saving up to open a sanctuary, #goals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 06:03 PM
37

“Her sister is selfish” - they’re so desperate to redirect to anything other than “I fucked up having eight million children with a man who does not give two shits about anything other than working and having unprotected sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:58 PM
3

I’m honestly not sure, if you find out let me know. I only have one friend that I talk to and one that I text occasionally, I just lost my (ex) best friend and my brother because they both suddenly turned into horrible people (or more likely, I finally took the blinders off and saw them for who they really are and stopped making excuses for them). I’m looking at doing meetups online for things in my area (but struggling to find one I’m interested in) and am trying to get some form of support and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:26 AM
13

Yeah when I was younger I consistently dated ten years older (19/29, 23/34, 28/40) and looking back I’m horrified that those men were interested in me with how emotionally damaged, vulnerable and just young I was. The only one was even somewhat good for me was when I was 27 and he was 30, he definitely wasn’t a predator like the others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:58 PM
21

18-23ish, I would say within 1-2 years, preferably 1 23-29, 3-4 years MAX, still preferably 1-2 (I still changed a lot from 25-29 and have way better standards now than I did even at 25/26) 30-40, 5 years 40+ i would maybe do up to 10 as long as you’re ok with him potentially dying sooner and you’re in similar stages of life (I.e. he isn’t a child). I think after forty (unless there was a really traumatic, stunted growth cycle) you’re in same life experience and predatory age gap men tend to go …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:50 PM
5

I’m going through something extremely similar right now. I already don’t have a relationship with my dad so I’ve tried to make it work but there is no reality where my mother and I have a relationship that doesn’t involve her emotionally and verbally abusing me and stomping all over my boundaries to the point where I end up upset and crying after most interactions. I keep trying to go back after periods of time because the pain fades and I hope that she’s maybe changed and wants to work on it bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:23 PM
9

Totally incel fan fiction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:50 PM
19

And if you stick around after the negging, they know that they can continue to treat you like that through the relationship and mentally control you with it. It sets precedent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:22 PM
10

When I tried Tinder, they’d have literally nothing in their bio except that they used to be a D1 athlete, it was so cringey
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:21 PM
80

It seriously weirds me out that men become OBGYNs. First off, you don’t have any of the equipment to have first hand experience with any of it. I can explain what a period cramp feels like but you just can’t know. And second, why do you want to stare at women’s vaginas all day? I know they say “oh he’s a doctor, it’s not sexual” but how do you know? He can be a doctor of literally anything on the body and he chooses that? Nuh uh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 08:28 PM
166

Or the fertility doctor on the East Coast that was impregnating women with his sperm instead of the chosen donors or husbands. He was in double digit kids produced before he got caught, that’s so vile. Like... what the actual fuck. I won’t see a male doctor, my GP, gyno and therapist are all female, and always have been. Not to say every woman is perfect, I have had to switch once because she just wasn’t really listening, but you have way better odds of it not being super fucked up like the male…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 08:26 PM
73

I tried Tinder over the holiday (not really looking to go out, more just checking the state of it in my city) and the four guys I swiped right on, Tinder was like “that’s a super popular profile, you should super like!” First off, no thank you. And secondly, of course it’s a super popular one... he has an actual bio, is allegedly educated, looks like he can groom himself without looking vain af and doesn’t sound like a complete train wreck crashing into a burning dumpster. The rest were either n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:58 PM
75

Like they’re the Keepers of Humanity (if anything, biologically in nature the female of the species usually is). “You have to have sex with me for the good of the species!”, like no Kyle, you procreating is not what is good for the human race. If it was, you wouldn’t have to demand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 04:29 PM
81

The mods on this sub are phenomenal. I don’t know how they do it but they normally have comments like his removed before I even get to it, whenever I have a phantom inbox notification but no actual comment, I sleep a little better at night knowing my Fairy ModMothers are just deleting the trash before it can even get to me. I wish real life had that filter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 04:26 PM
15

My grandma always told me “you can want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first”. Same general meaning but she came from a straight Oakie family so there had to be a cuss word in it so you knew she was serious 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:23 AM
43

It’s against Reddit rules and would give them a legit reason to try to remove the sub. Better to just ignore them, were better than the myriad of losers who do that to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:20 AM
38

Like 90% of the time a woman says “I love him” it makes me want to vomit. I can’t even go on the relationship or mom subs anymore because it’s just depressing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:13 AM
98

“Men!! No one attracted to your shit personality, boring bio and bland texting skills? Just start a relationship based on lies and a somehow even weirder form of cat fishing!” Seems on brand for Reddit, the lows they will sink to never seem to surprise me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:47 AM
28

Same. I’m still in the process but as I work on it (in tandem with building up my self esteem and sense of worth), I’m finding my physical and mental attraction to men is changing dramatically. I’m taking a break from dating (outside of just Covid) because I’ve realized that anyone I find now likely won’t be a true reflection of what the real me wants long term.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:44 AM
13

“Faux”ke guys know that women that are socially active tend to be nicer people, and it’s harder for them to recognize and call out mistreatment because they don’t think like that and tend to give the benefit of the doubt or “try to understand”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 12:14 AM
43

Straight up. “I want a woman with a sense of humor” means “I’m going to be a complete asshole, and then play it off as a joke and blame you for having no sense of humor if you call me on it”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 12:11 AM
5

I would just cut him off. Nothing good comes of this, you get nothing beneficial and he’s playing games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:13 PM
12

He’s emotionally manipulative. And beyond that DONT FUCK WHERE YOU EAT. I don’t care how great he seems (which this guy doesn’t, he’s playing games). I dated a coworker when I was 24, then he ghosted me, talked shit about me to his manager and made work all kinds of drama. The next guy I met from work I told I didn’t date coworkers. He waited 2.5 years for one of us to get a different job and then asked me out again (it ended for other reasons but he was actually really sweet and respectful, he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 03:43 PM
58

This is my only come back for this. Someone on a sex sub told me that women needed to be willing to do anything if they expected monogamy from a man and my response was great, so I can demand that men let me fuck them with a dildo if they want monogamy from me? But somehow that was “different”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 03:38 PM
28

They’ve banked on emotional and economic terrorism for centuries to get laid/married, we upset the natural order of things. Reminder, it’s genocide if we don’t sleep with them (that will never get old, they’re just so dramatic when their penises feelings get hurt)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 03:35 PM
36

Meanwhile my friends LVM is throwing literal tantrums about not being able to go out and party in a pandemic (while she’s extremely high risk). He sounds like a wholly functional human being who spares a thought for your happiness and likes, how refreshing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 03:34 PM
79

Well... withholding sex is genocide (I can’t even 🙄) according to Reddit so that in no way surprises me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 03:27 PM
6

Wow yeah I way misread that, I thought her old ass boyfriend went with someone 50s years younger, thanks for the correction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:42 PM
7

Oh it’s absolutely each womans choice. I’m specifically talking about the men who demand it and can’t get aroused unless it’s shaved, that I find super suspect. It’s up to the woman to decide what she finds comfortable, not him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:41 PM
73

I wouldn’t even consider this “cancelling last minute”. He made you wait, that’s rude af. Good for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:40 PM
15

I recently tried Tinder after watching a doc about it (and I blame the post-turkey high lol). After extremely picky criteria on swiping I literally swiped right on like 4 guys and then hit the end of Tinder. Of those four guys, I’ve matched with three so far and only one of them has messaged me (and while he didn’t send me the most exciting opening line it at least wasn’t a cheesy pickup line and he also sent an amusing gif that made me laugh, and his bio is by far the most promising, plus no sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 07:56 PM
34

I’m so sorry that happened to you, it’s perfectly normal to feel whatever you are feeling. You are not obligated to be nice to anyone to spare their feelings, and it’s natural to be wary. Shark attacks are way less common than rape and assault and while it’s seen as smart to be cautious around all sharks, it’s seem as misandrist to be mistrustful of men. Take whatever time and space YOU need for you and everyone else can fuck all the way off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 07:51 PM
125

That’s somehow even funnier/sadder. I love your username by the way Sansa did deserve better, both in the show and the way misogynistic assholes lambast her character because she turned out to be one of the savvier ones regardless of sex (and she technically won, it was Game of Thrones, not Game of the Iron Throne and she ended up on a throne by the will of her people, not force)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 07:19 PM
31

What moron expects her to take his name at 11 months with no proposal? Then when he bails because he’s successfully railroaded her and no longer finds her attractive or useful, she’s stuck with some random scrotes last name. Like... the delusion and audacity is truly impressive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:51 PM
8

Edit- I can’t read, good for her 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:43 PM
292

I’m guessing you have PMs turned off? He’s soooo mad he’s willing to spend money to make sure you get his insult. How sad their lives must be 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:42 PM
108

11 months, she shares it with her kids and her professional work is under that name. What a fucking twat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:41 PM
4

I have a (totally unprovable) theory that a large portion of men haven’t evolved quickly enough from the Neanderthal days and they still operate on an animalistic level where they don’t actually have control over themselves and their desire to have sex. Add in that men have been essentially skewing the sex market for centuries using economic and literal physical terrorism to coerce women into mating with substandard mates and our natural selection is all out of wack. I always say, any man who sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:23 PM
12

I have permanent RBF and it does wonders to stop men before they even approach to try this shit. I really think men are better at picking up nonverbal cues than they claim, when I used to go out with my pickme friend, she would get guys doing this all the time, but she was always smiling and looking inviting and would cave, and it was like they could tell. Meanwhile, they rarely tried with me, and normally one side look and they’d get the hint and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:12 PM
12

As the other commenter said, taking the drink tells him that all he has to do is badger you a bit and you’ll cave to what he wants. They’re essentially using society potentially thinking you’re a bitch to gaslight you into doing what they wanted. This isn’t entirely about being roofied, it’s about men ignoring “no”, even when it’s just something small. It’s a shit test to see if they can push for bigger things later, it always escalates
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:09 PM
61

Solid advice. I was roofied when I was younger and I’d watched the bartender pour the shot but the guy handed it to me and must have been frickin Houdini and sipped something in it. Luckily I felt it start to kick in and was there with friends who took care of me and got me home quickly and safely but it was still scary af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:58 AM
167

I think it’s a HUGE red flag if a man demands fully shaved. That’s not what sexually mature female genitalia looks like, it reeks of porn sickness and pedophilic preferences. I’ve never had a guy comment on mine (I trim for me but theres definitely still hair there even if it’s short) or make demands, and as far as I’m aware none of them were into porn (or kids). The one time I completely shaved when I was younger to try it, I felt like i was 12 again, it was not a sexy feeling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:32 AM
60

• constantly compliments or comments on other women to you. My ex constantly would talk about how hot he thought various women were, even after I told him it bothered me and I didn’t want to hear it. I certainly don’t make comments about men I find attractive to my SO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:56 PM
6

The cognitive dissonance is real. All the time, I read posts here that are like “he’s amazing but...” and then they proceed to describe someone who is most definitely NOT amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:12 PM
16

But he wants to talk about how hard that was for him so you can absolve him of his faux-guilt 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 08:08 PM
3

Your sisters husband sounds like goals. That’s what I want or there’s no point in not being single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:51 PM
7

Something that helped me was to think of myself like an external friend (which was kind of sad that I didn’t think of myself with love and care like I would a friend). Would I think mean things about her? Would I tell her she isn’t good at things? Would I beat her up about past mistakes? No. I would compliment her and mean it, I would point out things she’s good at and support any self growth for things she wants to improve, I would tell her that she was young and still learning and to forgive h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:05 AM
3

Yeah for me it’s like with anything on Reddit, all we can go off of is what he gives us because none of us know them in real life. I’m definitely not trying to hold this up as an FDS fairy tale and I really tried to convey that in the title that I was just focusing on him specifically realizing that he (at least says) he knows he wants to take that step (and I hope for her sake that he is genuine and this doesn’t become her cliche mid-20s relationship lesson) but after spending years slogging th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:07 AM
246

“Maybe I’m not that impressive” Makes me want to light things on fire. She sounds phenomenal, why is she having kids and staying with this jackass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:24 AM
26

You 100% need your own lawyer (you’d be surprised how many women listen to the mans lawyer when they say it’s fine for them) but you also need to be aware that judges can and do throw them out if they want to. Romance is a crock of shit used to weaponize women’s feelings to keep them in line and fleece them out of time, money and effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:19 AM
4

I get what you’re saying but I literally don’t see a single comment on this thread calling it either romantic or ideal, I’m still really confused where you’re getting that from. The only thing the other thread comments on is that this is the time frame that he should be having this realization and the next step is to act on it or he’s full of shit. That’s... not exactly idealizing the guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 04:58 AM
10

I never said it was romantic or ideal, not sure where you’re getting that? I said that his certainty and ability to articulate about wanting to marry her is one green flag (although as it says in the title, the fact that it’s on Reddit means less than if he’s telling her). Obviously he needs to follow up on that and actually make it happen but contrasted with men who start hemming and hawing when their baby mama of ten years brings up marriage, I do think the fact that he’s certain a year and a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:54 AM
42

“Co-owner-ish” Thats a new one 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:17 AM
39

I absolutely love and enjoy sex with the right guy. I’ve been fortunate that most men I’ve slept with have treated me with respect and at least attempted to make it a pleasurable experience for me. But once I experienced what it was like to do it with someone with whom I also had an emotional connection it made me realize how much better it is than just mechanically good sex. Most guys don’t care about female pleasure (some don’t even care about your safety) and I 100% think it’s a good idea to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:03 AM
76

It’s really hard to understand until you’ve personally experienced it. Even before I had experienced it, I would logically sympathize (that’s fucked up that people were blaming you and your actions) but didn’t fully get how it was possible (it’s obviously so much easier to see the whole picture when you’re not involved) but after having that epiphany moment with someone where suddenly my entire view of the world upended and I could suddenly see how distorted my reality had been prior for sooooo …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:21 AM
3

After what I watched as a kid, I’d want my own place just in my name so I had somewhere to go if he pulled a Jekyll and Hyde and changed overnight. I’m not opposed to living together if it’s the “right” guy (which it would have to appear to be if I ever got married, and that’s a big IF, but we all know that can change) but even then I think I’d still need an escape route that was 100% foolproof. My childhood was a recurring theme of my mom putting up with assholes because she didn’t have any oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:36 PM
12

It’s just too much effort for a man, im just too lazy lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:26 PM
92

When your SO is gaslighting hard, if you don’t have an extremely strong sense of self (which is unlikely if they’re with someone who says stuff like this and is gaslighting them) it’s a total mind fuck. I think a lot of women legitimately start questioning themselves, especially if the men only do it occasionally theres an added “well he isn’t normally mean and abusive”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:25 PM
14

Yeah I see so many stories on Reddit that are like “he needed help with bills so we moved in” and I’m like oh no honey. I am extremely emotionally avoidant from childhood shit and I’ve had too many men go from seemingly HV to a nightmare at the drop of a hat, I need to be 100% able to walk away at a moments notice or I can’t relax and get to know someone. I can’t stand feeling trapped, especially financially. I watched my dad financially abuse my stepmom growing up and it was horrific, I just ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:11 PM
5

I think they had been together for about a year before moving in (if I got the timeline right). He said they met March of last year and moved in together at the beginning of Covid, which was March of this year. (I still wouldn’t have signed a lease with him in this situation but at 25, you’re still learning and hopefully for her, it is as wonderful as he makes it sound). I agree with the vetting FDS style but IMO there’s a lot you miss if you haven’t actually fully cohabitated with them. My last…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:05 PM
40

My friends sister wouldn’t poop in the house while her husband was there. She would “run a quick errand” and go to the McDonald’s down the road (and I guess like timed them so it didn’t happen overnight?) I get like not wanting to straight up fart in your SOs face or something but I was like wtactualf lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 10:43 PM
26

I changed a ton from 25-30 (shit even from 30-32). I understand not everyone has my developmental arc but had I married at 25, I would be miserable right now. I dont really agree with moving in prior to an engagement but I do think it’s good to see how it is to live with someone prior to committing legally. I definitely don’t think this is the perfect FDS fairytale but I thought his phrasing was a good contrast to a lot of the ones that have been posted about men hemming and hawing and “not beli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 10:39 PM
27

Agreed, I think right around a year and a half is when he should be 100% positive and start making it happen. Otherwise they’re just waiting around for something better to come along but trying to keep the good thing they’ve got going for the meantime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 10:33 PM
55

Hahaha same. The one guy I almost married was like this tho about how sure he was that he wanted to marry me after a certain period of time (I think anything too soon is love bombing and a red flag) and he was consistent over the years (he just unfortunately had some childhood shit that he didn’t want to deal with that was a dealbreaker for me, so I had to end it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 09:06 PM
88

True. But they’ve only been together a year and a half, I would run if someone proposed sooner than that and assume it was love bombing. It’s marked as “green flag” and not “HVM” for a reason, I’m just commenting on him articulating that he “knows he wants to marry her” vs the men who go quiet when their gf of ten years brings it up for the millionth time. It’s one green flag, I’m not throwing him a parade 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:57 PM
47

I have CPTSD and one of my top requirements is someone who is empathetic to that and doesn’t want me to be triggered (it’s not just with a partner, I freak out if any man within earshot starts yelling or getting agitated). My last boyfriend would want to stick around and “watch the drama” while I was panicking and trying to get away from whatever was happening, it was my biggest clue to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:26 PM
124

My friend did that after five years of dating and shocker turns out he was cheating on her the whole time. I told her not to twist his arm and just find someone who would make it happen but 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:24 PM
4

I’m dead
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:20 PM
34

Same. I swipe left on any mention of alcohol as a hobby. I grew up with an alcoholic and it was traumatizing, I’m not trying to marry one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:06 PM
36

It sounds super condescending. Anyone with two brain cells knows that the majority of women have been abused in some form by at least one partner or acquaintance. I used to have “friends” like that that would challenge me when I would talk about how some men can be. NoT aLl MeN. No shit, but enough
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:39 PM
47

Shit like this makes me realize how lucky I am that, despite my terrible taste in men, none of them has tried to kill me or knock me unconscious for their sexual satisfaction. And the fact that I think I’m lucky for that is disgusting. But yeah, #notallmen whenever we try to discuss this in any kind of a public forum or space, it’s vile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 07:06 AM
51

Even here, there’s been two different comments that were “women” and when I made a comment about how they sounded like men cosplaying women (in a somewhat nice way, just in case I’m wrong lol) suddenly their accounts are deleted. There’s just... a certain sound to it that doesn’t sound familiar, in phrasing, word choice, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:11 AM
253

I’ll take incel fanfiction for $500, Alex. “She” seems awfully sure about what pervy losers want, it does sound like a guy trying to make women sympathetic to these “poor souls”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:40 AM
99

I randomly commented on a sex sub because it was one of the recommended posts as I was scrolling. The number of guys who commented saying that it’s a woman’s duty to perform pretty much anything a man wants sexually if she expects a man to be monogamous was disgusting. The dating/sex subs on Reddit are rife with predators trying to bully low self esteem women into essentially becoming on command sex dolls, it’s vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:37 AM
95

Oh it’s in a woman’s sub? Definitely a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:33 AM
50

Likely have narc tendencies. Every guy that’s ever chased me because I wasn’t interested did it because it was a challenge and they couldn’t handle a woman not wanting them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:26 AM
10

And obviously he figured out he was blocked everywhere else and promptly went around that to insert himself back into her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:31 AM
35

He also has been spreading anti-science bs about Covid, treats his employees like shit and threatened to fire them if they got sick, but when he tests positive of course he takes time to recover his poor little body. I knew someone who worked for Tesla and he said everyone there was miserable and terrified of getting fired. He’s a megalomaniac (he thinks he can just fly a rocket to Mars and make his own laws because I guess “dibs” applies to planets?) who thinks he’s better than everyone because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:27 AM
22

My ex worshipped the ground his mom walked on even though she used to abuse him and his siblings (he’d tell me stories and laugh about how she used to leave them alone for weeks at a time so they’d party and get into trouble, then she basically forced him into the military to be done with him) and she openly hated me just because of my race. Should have been clue number one that he was also crazy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:20 AM
17

I didn’t really mind dating shorter either but they all seem to have a complex about it and I definitely won’t date someone who lies about anything. I got tired of them being salty about it so now I’m not as open to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:12 AM
61

Saaaaame. “You can’t be 5’9”, I’m six foot” like my doctors been lying to me my whole life. JFC Always take 2-3 inches off of self-proclaimed height and penis size
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 09:47 PM
3

Haha i am very emotionally avoidant as well, especially with men, I get exactly what you’re saying. If he seems HV after five months, I don’t think a carefully worded “I do like you but it takes me some time to open up like that and really get to know someone, i understand that you’re different but it can’t be forced on my end” would be out of place. If he’s genuinely a good guy and interested in you, he won’t try to force it and will go at your pace. 5-6 months (for me at least) is right around…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:27 PM
29

From the sound of it, if she does get disability it’ll go into a bank account that she doesn’t have access to anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:12 AM
28

I loved Nancy Drew as a kid. She was super smart and determined, had two ride or die bffs who were also strong, smart and loyal and from what I recall, the few times they mentioned her boyfriend he was always supportive and respectful. I think the newer media adaptations kind of watered her down (like they do with all strong female protagonists) but the books were amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:07 AM
26

Geez... I hope she’s able to leave and get herself set up where she’s not dependent on this fuckwad. That’s so heartbreaking she went from childhood abuse to this, it’s so hard to see when shit is normalized in your childhood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:47 AM
3

Fair enough... I grew up before the age of online videos so I don’t really think of them as guiding media for young girls but you’re probably right. A lot of girls see plenty of terrible things being normalized around them and through media, I can see how putting things like this for others to see would help. I forget not everyone is old and cynical like me lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:44 AM
85

So I’m going to assume that she doesn’t have access to bank accounts, cash savings or a debit/credit card if she is asking him if he thinks he has power over her. If she had access to “their” money, she wouldn’t even need to ask, let alone be in a position to feel so helpless that this conversation needs a trip to the hospital. He’s likely already financially abusing her and she just doesn’t know it (or just figured it out). What fucking asshole lords it over his traumatized wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:31 AM
6

I’m 5 9 and used to work at a job that requires manual labor and was fairly strong and big. My youngest brother who was ten years younger and half my size could still stick my butt when we play wrestled. It was honestly scary how much stronger he was naturally, it really made me realize what a disadvantage we’re at physically
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:55 PM
74

“A bit of a stalker”. Like he just casually, light heartedly stalked her. Wtf is wrong with people these days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:16 PM
7

They think women are so desperate for male attention that well strike up conversation, get to know each other, sext, and then fall in love and move cross country to be with their lonely ass, because one friend of a friend met his girlfriend on Reddit and she’s super loyal and puts up with his shit. It’s the online gamer version of a meet cute. I’ve had several guys try it since I started Reddit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:27 PM
6

Same. The guy at 19 I actually wanted to marry in the beginning but by the time he proposed, I was over it (thank god!) I was so SO damaged from my childhood I thought that someone loving me would make it better, he was just such a complete ass that by the time he proposed I was sick of it. Luckily I said no and proceeded to grow and learn and in my 20s, I’m 32 now and just starting to feel like maybe I have a grasp on what a good relationship would be. I’ve changed a ton even since 27, that’s w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:09 PM
10

Exactly! It’s so nice to see other people think about these things too, it’s so depressing how many kids we have that aren’t properly taken care of ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:38 AM
18

I like the idea of adopting older as well, if I were a millionaire and could do what I wanted, I’d just adopt teenagers, help them go to college or whatever they wanted to do and help them get set up in life so they can thrive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:03 AM
59

I don’t feel like I can in good conscience bring a girl into this world knowing how shitty it is and what she might face even with every opportunity and every support and protection I can give her (and obviously I can’t predetermine what gender and I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending money on IVF to pick the sex). I like the idea of adopting, there are so many kids who already need support and I have three different members of my family that have adopted and it’s so heartwarming to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:13 AM
53

You’re supposed to be too mesmerized by his shirtless abs to look at the wreck of a bathroom around him. Shirtless bathroom selfie’s always crack me up 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:25 AM
32

They were in the car together, he’d plugged his phone in to charge and Siri read a text from an escort out loud over her CarPlay, he freaked out and started trying to disconnect the phone and she was like “the fuck was that?!?” He tried to deny it, then say it was his first time... then she went back through their bank accounts and found a regular cash withdrawal in a part of town that he has no reason being in, conveniently close to a known massage parlor. Then she found the thousand dollar cas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 12:41 AM
27

I already wasn’t the type to twist a guys arm into marrying me but that firmly cemented the whole “if he wants to, he will. If he doesn’t, there’s a reason”. She had to tell him that she was going to leave him if he didn’t propose, and huge surprise he wasn’t 100% in. He can’t plan a romantic dinner, or a trip, or a thoughtful surprise or engagement... but he can find and plan a hooker visit while he’s on a work trip to the east coast 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 12:33 AM
59

He gives a platform (and by extension some amount of legitimacy) to people who share opinions like fact. Faux-intellectual misogynists and the like tend to love him because he gives air time to people that more respectable media outlets wouldn’t work with. My narc ex “loved how it challenged accepted norms” and I’m like yeah, they’re accepted because decent people have agreed that this is what’s decent. He occasionally gets actually good guests, he did one with Bernie Sanders that I’ve heard was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 12:27 AM
25

I like to drag out answering for the first couple weeks because it weeds out fuckwads like this. Last guy sent me a freakin book about how he’d “tried to get to know me but I obviously didn’t have time to reciprocate”, like sorry homie, I have a job that makes it so I’m not hanging on your every text, JFC
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:29 PM
28

I’m so so sorry, I know exactly how that feels, it’s one of the worst feelings. One thing I can say from experience, it’s even worse if you go back and give them another chance and they do it again (because they always do it again) and then it’s mixed in with anger at yourself for letting it happen again. Stay firm in this decision, no matter how hard it gets. You will get through it and when you’re out the other side, it’ll be so much better. Take time for you, to take care of yourself emotiona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:00 PM
55

Same. I was starting to kind of relax on this fear... and then my best friends husband (who I wouldn’t have necessarily described as HV, but definitely would not have expected to be this LV) cheated on her with hookers... after 8 YEARS together. I can’t even imagine investing that much time with someone who seemed loving and devoted on the surface (he was kind of useless around the house but seemed 100% in love and dedicated to her) only to find out something THAT huge. I was so fooled when she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:55 PM
44

You did the right thing, and I know it’s hard because as time passes that one time he said that starts to fade back into the other good times but this is who he is, and if you stayed it gives him permission to keep treating you like that. I’m so sorry you had to go through that and it triggered your PTSD, I know how that feels. Even if you froze in the moment, you got yourself away from him and protected yourself from this happening again, and now you’re free to meet someone who isn’t a complete…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:46 PM
62

“I just wanted them to get a chance to get to know me” (by lying and violating a woman’s right to choose who she dates with full disclosure) and then they cry about how women won’t date them because of their kids, and completely miss that it’s because they’re lying, manipulative POS. Good for you for handling it safely yet quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:40 PM
31

I had shitty taste in men and picked guys who thought that throwing a ring at me would make me stick around and tolerate shitty treatment and emotional unavailability (because they were assholes who believed this whole “all women want desperately to be married” bs). If any of them had been a compliment, I’d be married right now lol. One of them literally only proposed after id dumped him for laughing in my face when I asked him what we were. I have a breaking point where I’m just done and can’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:32 PM
377

One of my biggest nightmares is marriage. Just marriage. The thought of letting someone in like that, making that forever commitment and then having them drop the act and show their LV true self after I’m already legally chained is terrifying to me. Doubly so if i have a kid with them. I know so many people it’s happened to, if I wanted to be married early I would have accepted the proposal at 19, or 24, or 27. But I didn’t because I knew it was wrong and they were proposing for the wrong reason…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:31 PM
4

Well, this is gonna be blunt but that’s how he is. If you stay this is what it’s gonna be, no one has any magic trick to making men give a shit or we’d all be using it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:59 PM
18

“I would be celebrated for helping my wife who has cancer, but questioned if I couldn’t leave an abusive, addict situation” Yeah... pretty much. The whole point of codependency is that you’re attached despite it being a negative situation. Staying with an addict while they’re active is not beneficial to anyone, including the kids he claims to be looking out for. This is the worst “analogy” ever, it’s a false equivalency
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:42 PM
42

I find it a red flag when a man wants to discuss any body count, mine or his. I don’t want to hear about the other women you’ve had sex with, nor do I want to discuss my partners. Any guy that brings up previous partners is a no for me. It’s either manipulative or attempted virtue signaling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:34 PM
105

Men expect to be able to have a whole ass mental breakdown and then say “men aren’t allowed to have feelings” if anyone (always a woman) doesn’t want to deal with it. Get a therapist, like the rest of us. You can have feelings but if they’re outside a normal range that your friends/family can comfortably/willingly assist with, no one is obligated to be your emotional punching bag. But it’s easier to shame us into dealing with them than to actually handle their own shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:31 PM
3

Oh Pac... he has so many songs that are pro-women, and so many songs that are anti-women (the more typical rap b*tch songs). I do like some of his stuff but he definitely wasn’t overall HV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:25 PM
3

It doesn’t even look like healthy soup tho, it looks like condensed sodium. Doordash some hearty chicken vegetable or something. Maybe I’m just cranky this morning and not impressed lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:04 PM
6

That actually would make sense, you’re right that she is kind of the focal point and she looks hella stiff like she’s acting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:56 PM
14

Eesh... he sounds... like a petulant child, honestly. He wants applause for “helping” when it sounds like you’re still doing most of it, with a chronic condition to boot. He’s throwing porn in your face to what? Make you want to sleep with him and try harder to keep him from turning to it? Make you feel bad that you’re not a regular sex doll? Tell you what he’s already doing? That in and of itself doesn’t sound like he’s a very kind person, depending on how often/how he does it, it sounds very e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:51 PM
14

I can’t even imagine dating a wanna be “influencer” or social media “star” or whatever the f they’re called. Also that plate of sliced avocado is making me laugh every time I come back here to read a comment 😂😭😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:30 AM
30

It literally looks like a bowl of condensed soup broth, he couldn’t even spring for some pre-made hearty chicken noodle? That doesn’t even look nutritious to help her get better, it looks like he cracked open a soup can and sliced an avocado and made a damn video about it 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 06:29 AM
112

Also, I just rewatched it, is that canned soup with rice and sliced avocado? Unless she has super basic taste in food, wtf kind of “date” is that? Do people with Covid not eat real food? I guess I’m assuming if she can drink wine she’s not super sick-sick...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:51 AM
308

I always find myself asking “why record this and put it online”? Like... maybe they want to encourage other men to step up, but it always just feels like virtue signaling. “Look at me! I’m such a good boyfriend!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:10 AM
9

That’s generous, I was going to say two 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 02:46 AM
49

He obviously needs it with that “technique”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 12:26 AM
122

I have an excellent sense of humor. Most men just mistake abuse as humor and being called on it for a lack of humor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 12:25 AM
8

Paedophiles and rapists should rot in jail. Fortunately, my family did the sane thing and got the fuck out of the church, got mental health help (although obviously it wasn’t enough for my one uncle) and made sure that dysfunction wasn’t passed on to their children as much as they could, but it’s infuriating to watch it continue to happen to people and watch the government throw my tax dollars at it. Too many people stay in the church and sweep it under the rug. A large number of paedophiles wer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 12:20 AM
63

It’s amazing to me that people blither on about the “deep state” when the man they voted for has openly BRAGGED about grabbing women by the pussy and trying to spy on underage girls in the nude. I want to light things on fire, I swear. My tax dollars went to supporting non-taxed religious organizations that use their money to restrict people’s (normally women and LGBTQ, never straight, white males) rights and protect pedophiles, some of which were responsible for three of my family members ongoi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:26 PM
181

This. He got fired because of HIS actions, not OPs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:21 PM
27

On absolutely, looking back there were signs but since I wasn’t trying to date him, I didn’t really care at the time. He 100% wanted the validation of women chasing him and falling all over him while he pushed them away, he didn’t start pursuing me until I made it clear that I wasn’t going to pursue him (we had mutual friends and spent some time together as friendly acquaintances prior) and I think he took it as a challenge and wanted to make me fall for him to soothe his ego. When that didn’t w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:19 PM
30

It was absolutely insane. Even when they say “don’t catch feelings and we’ll be fine”, they’re still full of shit 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:09 PM
60

So much this. I had a guy like this in my 20s, and when I didn’t catch feelings, he proceeded to meltdown and basically demand that I had (I hadn’t) and then he threw a tantrum about how I was smothering him because of these supposed feelings (I wasn’t) and tried to turn all my friends against me. It was fucking hilarious, but I don’t recommend it for normal people, I was super emotionally fucked up (which was why I was purposefully messing with guys that I knew wouldn’t go anywhere) but man did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 06:53 PM
10

Yeah it just seems like a really convoluted “I don’t want to seriously date you but I don’t want you sleeping with other men”, as evidenced by him trying to either work it so she approves of him getting this chicks number or manipulate her emotionally with this knowledge. I’m honestly surprised he told her and didn’t just do it behind her back. To me, there’s “dating”, where no one is exclusive and you’re dating to see if you want a relationship and then there’s “exclusive” which is a relationsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:50 PM
105

One of the worst parts of growing up is realizing just how disgusting the older men who dated me as a teen and early twenties were. I’m 31 (right around where most of them were) and the thought of dating or sleeping with an 18-23 year old is vile, they’re like babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:44 PM
42

Meanwhile, Dating Over Thirty had a thread about “surprise bdsm” (aka SEXUAL ASSAULT) and left up the many, MANY comments arguing that it was fine, abusing a woman is ok if she didn’t specifically say not to beforehand, and that she should nicely tell him she didn’t like getting choked and hit because it’s so hard for men to know that they shouldn’t smack people around in bed. That whole thread was literally fucking terrifying and the mods did nothing Of course the sub masquerading as virtue sig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:03 PM
76

My step brother propositioned me when I was 18, and then tried to play it off like a joke when I was like whut. I didn’t go back to that house for three years. (And my fuckwad 10 year older boyfriend thought it was hilarious and made fun of me for it, god I’m so glad I got over my daddy issues and stopped dating creepy older dudes)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:55 PM
31

I don’t understand this various levels of “were exclusive, and not looking, but not dating or in a relationship, but we talk about the future”. You’re either together, or you’re not. Exclusive is a relationship unless it’s specified exclusive FWB, which is still technically a relationship (all relations with people are relationships of varying degrees) it’s just a shitty one. Any guy that gets weird about clarifying the many levels of this is a hard no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:52 PM
13

I agree wholeheartedly. I tend to think of it as “Low Value Mate”. They can be a “nice person” or whatever and still not be a quality potential romantic partner. Someone who has shown they are not interested in a relationship with me is a low value mate for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:49 PM
48

I’m so not prepared for this shit. I was super sheltered as a child and didn’t start dating til my mid twenties, there’s just... too much to keep up with. What is even going on in this world that all the men are just weird
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:34 AM
20

If you can get to your family out of state, can you and your kids stay with them? Like another commenter said, if there’s a way to purchase gift cards and the like, or pull out an extra couple twenties every time you buy groceries (be careful tho, my bank statements have started showing me “plus cash” when I get cash back, like it’ll show “$56 Safeway + $40 cash back” instead of just a total like it used to on the line item). If you don’t have a custody agreement, it should be legal to take your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:31 AM
30

Is he “emotionally open” with you or is he just demanding that you spill your heart out on demand? This seems like something where he can initiate in small ways if he wants to but this isn’t something that you can just force. It has to kind of just happen through time and circumstance naturally. Five months is still “getting to know you” territory, this seems like it could be off depending on how he’s doing it. On the one hand, if he’s telling you you can be vulnerable with him, then that’s grea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:05 AM
32

That seems like it would be a good litmus test? I’d want to know if the guy I was potentially going to marry was secretly like that ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:12 AM
143

Beautiful, congrats! I love your nails also, I’m a sucker for a good nude, I miss being able to get my nails done
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:36 AM
121

My ex, who could literally kill a man with his bare hands in like .3 seconds (ex army special forces, and the reason I will never date another military man), started doing baby talk towards the end of our relationship and it was weird af. I want a husband, not a child. It’s like some weird regression that they didn’t grow up properly, which needs therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 10:48 PM
29

My friend tried Hinge and said every guy on there would “invite her to start the conversation” (which I guess is an option?) instead of just starting the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:20 PM
54

He’s trying to bully her into doing anal sex again. “No honey, don’t go see a hooker, I’ll take it up the ass again for you.” Good news is she just came into $15k and is (hopefully) going to be newly single and ready to mingle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:16 PM
173

Facts. Every guy that’s ever tried to stick it in my ass had a small dick. The two guys I slept with that were well endowed didn’t even ask, one of them, after I made a joke about how refreshing it was that he wasnt trying to stick it in my butt, made a comment about how he knew it would hurt a woman too badly because of his size so he wasn’t even interested in trying it (and from the time that I knew him, he was a very nice guy, never pushy, never inappropriate, always made sure that I was happ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:14 PM
92

Theory four, their penises are so tiny and they’re so used to the death grip from their own hand, an anus is the only thing tight enough to make it so they can feel it. A normal vagina is too “loose” (not actually loose as we all know it’s normal to stretch when aroused but that’s the phrasing they always use that tells me “I have a small penis and the women I sleep with can’t feel it”)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:13 PM
15

Yeah let’s get the percentage of all that that’s caused by men... but they conveniently left that out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 04:39 PM
50

He looks like a villain in GoT, no thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 04:32 PM
2

Girl, you already fucking did it for yourself, you should be proud! He tried his hardest and he even had your friend twisted around helping him and you stuck with no. Next time you won’t second guess yourself, next time you’ll know you don’t need to be more diplomatic. Next time there won’t be a next time because he’ll know that you are not the one to be played anymore. These are the posts that I love seeing on this sub, you held your ground and trusted your instinct that the answer was “no” and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 11:57 PM
3

JFC, the lows they will go to never cease to surprise me. Good for you on holding your ground and not letting him wiggle his way into what he wanted even tho you weren’t quite sure why he was so adamant!!!! He probably figured he could bully you into it, little did he know 💪🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 11:27 PM
2

Oh yeah in that case, HELL NO lol. Anything with his name on it is fair game if it goes to collections or court (and he should fucking know this if someone’s after him for money, this makes me wonder if that’s his goal), if anything he should be putting your kids money into an account with just your name on it so they can’t take it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:57 PM
69

Yes, the previous discussion about love languages on this sub really made me realize that it should all of them, and the “love language” (singular) is just normalizing one dimensional relationships. Women normally do all of them (or most), men - “pHySiCaL tOuCh Is My LoVe LaNgUaGe” (aka sex)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:42 PM
44

Yeah it’s hard to spot if you don’t know what to look for. It wasn’t until this sub that I realized the “weird things my ex did that I didn’t understand” were actually attempts at escalating abuse. Just like she’s sitting there now going “wtf, I don’t understand why this is a thing”, it’s likely happened before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:38 PM
4

After seeing some of the shit posted on Reddit where men try to fuck over women they’re still in a “loving” relationship with, I definitely wouldn’t legally join yourself to an ex that you know is a POS. Plus if he gets into any kind of legal or financial trouble (you never know, he could get into an accident or file bankruptcy, whatever), that money becomes fair game if someone goes after him, and his name is on it. I definitely think you’re doing the right thing by holding your ground . If he’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 07:48 PM
66

Someone in another sub called him Space Karen and I can’t unsee it 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:52 PM
6

I would question why he’s pushing so hard for a joint account. That sounds super shady, he would have access to any money you put in there. As someone else said, no is a whole fucking answer, I would just give your answer and refuse to answer anything beyond that. Your friend needs a wake up call tho, why is she even part of discussions about your kids future and your finances?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:51 PM
6

They see the signals that society has told them women use to say “I’m DTF”. Porn, men’s magazines, all that, it’s why they always say “she shouldn’t dress like that if she doesn’t want me to look”. They’ve been told it’s for them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:26 PM
19

I did too, I was so naive and unused to how men interact with women they’re physically/sexually attracted to in that way. I had to learn real quick what was going on or I would have been in trouble. That’s how I ended up here lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:25 AM
42

This is the big difference for me, and one that I’ve tried (and failed) to explain to men. When I see a guy that I find physically attractive, it’s just appreciation of what I see physically. When men see someone they find physically attractive, they immediately want to violate her in ways that 99.9% of us would not be ok with it. I think it goes hand in hand with the fact that they are normally penetrating the woman during sexual acts, which is invasive (not always unwanted but by definition it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:49 AM
38

I’m at the point where I hate anything related to physical appearance. Like really? Tell me again how I’m beautiful while you stare at my chest and make zero effort to strike up a conversation about anything deeper than the random genetic appearance I happened to be born with. I almost miss being fat because at least then, the guys were more likely to be interested in who I was as a person instead of how good I’d look in bed, on my knees or on their arm to make other guys jealous. They also seem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:43 AM
4

10 days?!? I have food in the freezer that I’ve had longer 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 10:25 PM
114

It’s pure entitlement. He shouldn’t have to get to know someone and actually prove himself to be a good person, we should just intrinsically flock to him because he deserves it, damn it /s This attitude tends to come out unconsciously and turn women away, which furthers the entitled feeling because he’s not getting what he wants. He’s likely not even a good person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:59 PM
34

Late teens/early 20s are an easy time to get sucked in because you’re not fully established as a person with adult interests/hobbies/activities and the patriarchy pushes hard that you should be finding a man before you’re “old” (which is a bald faced lie). Focus on you, school, career, hobbies, etc, (and avoid the losers that will try to leech onto your success and effort) and then when you do meet someone who isn’t an LVM Tinder Ho, you’ll be in a good position to have a healthy relationship. Y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:23 PM
66

In my city, that’s called “drunk in public with an open container”. He’s literally saying he’s that random deadbeat who wanders the park with a can of beer in a paper bag like it hides anything. What is even going on with OLD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:20 PM
18

It’s not so much Rogan himself, although I do think it’s somewhat irresponsible to give an equal platform to people who are spouting falsehoods as it lends an air of legitimacy that they don’t deserve, but the men who listen to JRE tend to be aggressively alternative (even when it makes no sense) and just believe anything that’s said on the program (which is why I find it irresponsible)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 06:27 PM
14

Where I’m at, all the men with money think they’re gods gift to women, it’s so unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 06:21 PM
54

“Two years later there’s no chemistry” Two years later, she had grown as a person and realized he was a scummy, predatory, thirty something and lost all attraction to his old, disgusting ass. What a fucking POS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 05:40 PM
17

I get quite a few women DMing me about stuff they don’t want to post on a thread. I purposefully leave mine open in case that happens, I’ve had a few younger girls reach out and it’s worth the two seconds to block and delete morons if I can help someone who really needs it. Plus I find their lack of imagination kind of amusing, like oh I’m a bitch? Never heard that one before 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 05:21 PM
6

That’s a really good distinction, I agree with this especially since it always does seem to be code for “sex”. I also think if you made this distinction thousands of guys would suddenly have no love language at all 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:09 AM
101

It always makes me laugh that the flames I get seem to be directly related to the comment I make. Comment that I dislike men violating my boundaries? Of course ones going to message me (violating my boundary of posting on a female only sub) to call me names. Comment that men have no empathy? Of course it’s someone gloating that I’m going to die alone and deserve it. Comment that it frustrates me that men don’t take the time to listen and just assume horrible things? Of course the PM completely m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 01:39 AM
15

I’ve completely revamped my life since Covid (check post history a day ago if you want deets). My city has been largely shut down since March so I’ve had a ton of free time to reinvest in myself and my health and future. 10/10 recommend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 01:35 AM
72

Mason Jar Guy will live on in infamy on this sub (as his dumb ass should). “She puts lemon in her water. LEMON!!! And then puts it in stupid mason jars, I can’t stand it!” I use mason jars too because they’re larger than regular cups and I drink a lot of water. I couldn’t believe he tried to get uppity about that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:03 PM
42

Omg I need context, do you have a screenshot of the whole post? He did not seriously make her a macaroni painting for a serious gift??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:01 PM
67

My favorite is “ceo at self employed”. Sooo you’re unemployed...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:58 PM
15

My point was more that they use “physical touch” as an excuse for why they don’t do the other things, but they really just mean sex. Watching a friend who’s husband says his love language is physical touch, he doesn’t actually express love through physical touch. He’s never physically affectionate with her, never offers massage or cuddles or anything, he just says that’s his love language because he wants to have sex be his expression of “love”, and I think a good majority of “typical guys” are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:57 PM
16

It’s always the woman’s job to fix it. My friend is also going through counseling and sometimes tells me stuff about it and it’s always like “he’s trying so hard (he isn’t) so I’m working on being more positive”. Her therapist literally told her that she was too critical (for pointing out the myriad of things that he doesn’t do or makes harder) and she needed to just focus and bring up the good to help him”. I was like wtf (she doesn’t tell me much about therapy anymore lol). It’s sad watching h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 08:37 PM
30

I think that really highlights the difference between most men and most women. We shut down sexually when we’re not intellectually attracted but most of them can still have sex even if everything else is falling apart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:58 PM
46

I love that the answer is always that we need to start complimenting more, they never make the jump to “maybe men should start complimenting each other more”. It only matters if it’s someone they want to stick their dick in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:01 PM
34

Yeah this is super weird to me too. Like I get not wanting to be coddled and have someone doing stuff like you’re an incapable baby (I don’t like that either), but it sounds like he’s incapable of asking for help when he needs it or having an equal partner in certain things. Like... I dunno, I’m not trying to do the world for them in the beginning but if it hits a long term/marriage point then I feel like being able to ask for help in certain instances is necessary. I feel like these are the men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:57 PM
30

Yuuuup. It’s gross how they take anything and twist it around to justify their single minded existence. I know he isn’t “expressing physical touch” by giving her a massage or cuddling with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:30 PM
167

“PhYsIcAl ToUcH iS mY lOvE LAnGuAgE” No fucking shit, you and you ever other guy on this planet. My friend was telling about the problems her and her husband are having and brought up that and it was the biggest eye roll moment ever. Of course hers is acts of service and words of affirmation and his is “fuck me”. They should definitely be displaying all of them, and it should be consistent and not manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:20 PM
10

Yeah I became friends with a girl awhile back who had tons of online male friends like this (because she was a total pickme) when I was still super inexperienced, at first I thought I had maybe met them at an event or something and accepted the request and after like three of them hit me up and started trying to sext and ask for nudes and gross shit I figured out wtf was going on and just started blocking anyone I didn’t know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:50 AM
53

This is why I don’t date broke car guys. I’ve been in muscle car clubs before and so many of the guys have no house, no credit, no savings but dump all their money into vehicles they can’t afford. I’m all for having a hobby but not the way some of them spend money they don’t have. I would date “a guy who likes cars” but never a “car guy”. There’s a difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:51 AM
39

Guys go through their female friends list and friend request any girl they think is cute. Im guessing you’re cute and the friends just don’t want to share the attention (Source, I was that naive girl trying to figure out why my friends guy friends were randomly adding me, it’s just so they can message you and try to get some lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:45 AM
6

I mean, having standards and not wanting to be abused isn’t really a “clandestine strategy”... You seem to be confusing me wanting a HVM with me wanting to create more HVM. If my guy is out there, then he’s out there. If he isn’t, then my life is fine. I lose absolutely nothing by not “solving” men’s issues. We’re not claiming to “solve” male violence, im not sure where you get that either. We’re advising on how to avoid male violence fe. There’s no elephant much as you seem to think there is. J…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:48 PM
16

Bingo. How many times have I heard “At least I know where he is and he isn’t out cheating”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:43 PM
223

“Non-consensual indoor chickens” Thats a new one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:41 PM
114

I haven’t seen much of this show, but from what I’ve seen, Jim and Pam are not relationship goals and the one time I tried OLD I swiped left on any guy that mentioned the office in his profile (I didn’t find it funny, and shows are not a personality trait)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:40 AM
29

They get more than one. But it’s still men choosing to devote that much time to it (unless it’s the very rare case where they’re subsistence hunters and if that was the case, it wouldn’t be duck it would be big game). I have uncles that hunt but it’s a one or two weekend a season thing, not a “gone for two straight months” things, their wives would straight up leave them, especially if they had young kids to take care of. She’s basically saying that she accepts that he would rather be hunting th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 11:17 PM
10

Sims Freeplay, you can watch ads for free points. I get those a lot on that game, it’s super cringey
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:29 PM
28

Yes, I keep getting these on my Sims game. The last one, all the options were like ‘he grabbed your ass’ do you “tell him you like getting manhandled” or “go on a date with him anyway”. I was like why do all the options reinforce that women need to be ok with this, where’s my “report him for sexual harassment” or “knock his lights out” options?? I really hope no young girls are playing these games
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:46 PM
167

“Quit talking so much” I want to punch something right now, wtf. It’s like they can’t even just be neutral, they have to go out of their way to be a dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:44 PM
13

At the time I didn’t really see it but looking back, he was totally trying to be emotionally abusive and I was just so naive and unused to it I didn’t see it. At the time I was just like “this is weird, I don’t understand so I’m just going to leave it alone for a few days”. Looking back tho, man I dodged a bullet, he was so good at subtly doing stuff that even I was starting to feel a little insane, I can’t even imagine four years of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:22 PM
58

My ex used to call his baby mama crazy (which in and of itself bothered me, like that’s the mother of your child). After six months dating him, I realized anyone would be certifiable if they had to put up with him for 4 years and then still be around him because they shared a kid. That poor girl, she won’t be able to fully escape for at least another 11 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 04:02 PM
44

“Trying to be a good father”. Even he acknowledges he didn’t succeed, but still sounds oh so proud
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:08 AM
158

Lmfaooo definitely fits the aesthetic better. Very punk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 03:07 AM
512

I mean, I don’t know that I’d wear it on a windbreaker but she ain’t wrong 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:48 AM
61

“You’re beautiful” is normally just a repackaged “I want to stick my dick in you”. Although thinking about it, I had one bf who would say this occasionally but it felt like he was talking about more than surface level and I didn’t mind it with him. He also complimented lots of other things tho and I knew he was into me as a person. Other bfs gave zero compliments. But most guys that I’ve gone on a date or two with are nonstop with the physical compliments and it gets old fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:42 AM
29

My grandma thinks it’s the greatest thing ever (she has zero clue what Reddit is but as soon as I said the words “rad fem” she was in). One of my best friends gets a bit scared when I start in on how her LVM husband needs to go (I’m not that blunt about it, but he does, she could do so much better). My other bestie is on Reddit and I sent her the sub name, although I don’t know if she fully checked it out, we talk about stuff all the time and she’s 100% on the same page (and her husband so far a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:37 AM
70

When in reality it’s that they’re worried that the other 29 penii were larger than theirs, and she’ll be able to tell because she can’t feel it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 08:43 PM
53

For 27 years I thought I couldn’t orgasm during sex. Then I had sex with someone who knew wtf he was doing and it was on lol. It took work on his part and most guys don’t want to do that when it isn’t beneficial for them. It also requires a certain size/shape (that most guys also don’t have) but just that isn’t enough. I don’t particularly care for oral, it doesn’t do much for me, so the PIV is a must. Always possible I just havnt found a guy who knows what he’s doing with oral but since I have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:54 PM
4

Maybe let her see this sub? Or even 2X has tons of posts about being assaulted by randoms or by boyfriends. I definitely think it’s important that she knows this is a real thing that she needs to look out for. I also agree with the other comment that you should let her know you’re always available to talk or give advice, that way if she comes up in weird situations or starts talking to someone, you can advise if it sounds sketchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:45 PM
19

The fact that she equates being intimate with a partner with a forced job is so telling. That woman had never had an orgasm in her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:39 PM
6

I was literally just thinking I should go private island instead of a town. It would be scenic, easy to control traffic in and out, and I could live out my every Wonder Woman Amazon fantasy 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:38 AM
88

Nah, I’m not leasing to anyone, it’s just me, my privately owned property and like 3000 of my close female friends who stay for free 😇. Millionaire me has a fleet of brilliant lawyers (all female of course), I don’t doubt that they’d try to badger their way in but I’m sure there’s ways around it if it ever actually got to that point. I’ll start a whole damn church if I have to, they get away with all kinds of shit under “religious freedom”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:33 AM
26

This is always so sad to me. She has to have grown up in a chaotic family where this was normalized and internalized, no one should be ok being treated like that. It’s so hard to undo that mentality, you just don’t know what you don’t know. It takes a full blown epiphany to start seeing this for what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:08 AM
62

Yes, you’re spilling the tea on the mini Mamoa and I am HERE for it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:41 AM
5

I had a friend who had a horrific reaction to the copper IUD as well. Scared me enough that I went hormonal (but just had it taken out since I’m not having sex and another post here scared me about the hormone changes).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:27 AM
136

If I ever become a millionaire I’m buying a town and making it women only. Men can come on a day pass if they get like 8 women to vouch for them, but they have to wear body cameras and a remote operated shock collar and leave when the street lights come on. Then I’m going to walk at night every night and enjoy the peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:25 AM
140

“What my obsession with talking about Taylor Swifts dating life says about me” (Hint, he’s a loser)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:18 AM
98

☕️☕️☕️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:17 AM
69

I have those where I live too, they think that just because they have a good job (which in my HCOL area aren’t even really that “good”) and a few clean polo shirts to wear with their jorts that women should be lining up to sleep with them. Then they complain that all the women (who are super driven, talented, high powered women) want to marry a CEO. Like... yeah, they’re the only ones that are our equals and we have everything else figured out, why wouldn’t we want our romantic life to be handle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 12:16 AM
132

TIL Kamala Harris is over fifty years old. I would have said late 40s to maybe 50... Apparently being child free (in both the manchild and actual child sense) is the key to not aging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 12:10 AM
57

So he works 9-5 M-F and she works 24/7/365. Sure... sounds fair /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:21 AM
14

I think if you look at the autobot reply, it lists out the main reasons why we don’t approve of porn. Reading stories online about consensual acts and using your imagination is a far cry from watching videos where the girls are abused, exploited, demeaned and sometimes tortured. When men watch videos like that repeatedly it leads to changes in brain chemistry and decreased empathy, objectification etc., when women watch those specific videos it leads to normalization of all those things. It does…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:19 AM
10

It’s hard walking away from friends that we’re emotionally attached to but you deserve to be a priority and be taken care of and you just did it for yourself. It’s ok to feel sad over a lost relationship as long as you balance it with the reminder that it was necessary for your mental and physical health and don’t forget why it was necessary. A lot of women are still stuck in the patriarchy and you don’t need that dragging you down and being in your headspace. I wholeheartedly believe that when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 12:27 AM
74

I always used to get the ones that just lay there, or the ones that are obviously so used to their own death grip they can’t come from normal intercourse because my vagina isn’t trying to choke the life out of their penis. I also like PIV over oral (which is rare, you’re one of the few I’ve heard say that) so the whole “you only have to be good with your mouth” doesn’t work for me at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 11:15 PM
27

There are way WAY too many guys on this thread arguing that he couldn’t have known not to assault her, she should have explicitly told him she didn’t want him to assault her prior to sex, she needs to communicate, you’re weird if you’re not into nonconsensual BDSM (aka ASSAULT). I seriously want to vomit right now. That whole thread is a fucking dumpster fire of creepy rapists and abusers outing themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 10:36 PM
39

There’s an entire thread calling out the CoMmUnIcAtE bullshit tho, and there are enough people calling it what it is (assault) that I hope she sees it and runs. This shit is SCARY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:37 PM
37

I think sometimes anger has its place in saving us. I’ve left abusive relationships and that small torch of anger was what got me through and kept me headed away from it. Otherwise it’s too easy to be dragged back by this “forgive and forget, people change” bs. But we’re supposed to be the gentle, loving gender, even while our bodies, minds and contributions are being pillaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:33 PM
1

As you should. I take enough time to report and block and then move on with my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:12 PM
71

Reminds of an AITA I saw yesterday. “I’m totally a feminist, but I just stood there and laughed at super sexist jokes that my girlfriend could overhear because it was beneficial to me”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:02 PM
2

They have nothing going on in their lives worth mentioning, otherwise he’d be doing that instead of lurking on subs where he’s obviously not wanted, messaging passive aggressive things to women who don’t want him. He needs someone to soothe his hurt fee fees and make him feel like he matters because society (other men) has told him that his penis makes him and his every inane thought important, but that’s not actually what he’s experiencing in life so tantrums it is. Fucking loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:00 PM
2

No, I don’t think an entire gender can be made to conform, that’s why women are finally rebelling. That’s why I focus on me and stay the fuck away from the entire gender, I’m not wasting time making someone act right. They always think their take on it is new and fresh and oh so intelligent, when in reality it’s the same tired drabble that EVERY. OTHER. MORON has already tried to spew. But yeah he’s actually legitimately looking forward to trying to shove it down your throat while ignoring any p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 07:58 PM
57

Oh absolutely. It’s often women giving endless chances and being pressured into forgiving constantly with no actual expectation that the man will change. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 07:53 PM
172

Forgiveness in this day and age is a crock of shit. I forgive people once I’ve left them because it does me no good to hold onto it. But most people these days treat forgiveness as endless chances and zero accountability
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:40 PM
55

We had the “young cool” teacher at my high school get in trouble for having a relationship with a student (I think two years after I had graduated). When I had his class as a senior, he would show us videos of him competing in kickboxing tournaments (shirtless) and all the girls would drool (he was physically attractive) and let all the girls get away with skipping class or just hanging out talking to him all period. At the time I didn’t even think about it but now I’m like “oh yeah, super inapp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 04:49 PM
49

Same. The last guy that cat called me I just made an audible “eww!” and wrinkled my nose when I looked at him and his face fell so damn fast. I don’t know what he was expecting my reaction to be, but it apparently wasn’t that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:25 AM
48

Imo this topic really shouldn’t even be coming up in the first months of dating. If he’s trying to talk sexually or ask about your experience then that’s a red flag, it should just evolve naturally (and slowly) and your lack of experience shouldn’t even be a huge deal if he’s patient and tuned in to you and your comfort/pleasure. If he’s expecting a porn star in bed, he’s for the streets
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:22 PM
29

When you’re 29, you will realize just how gross he is for even talking to someone your age. He talks down to you because he views you as inferior and he’s taking advantage of that. Read the handbook, then read it again. He’s gross and he’s trying to set you up to be a fuckbuddy, the “I don’t care if you fuck other guys” was to establish there would be no feelings or commitment, he doesn’t care that you want more. READ THE HANDBOOK
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 06:36 PM
6

There we go, now I can see your comment and reply ❤️ This is such a shitty way to learn a lesson but I’ve totally been there. It’s so hard to know what you don’t know until something major happens and gives a perspective shift, and our societies do such a good job of raising us to be trusting and IMO passive so that we’re easier to deal with. We can’t be held responsible for others actions, it’s definitely NOT your fault that he did this, this is 100% on him. It’s so shitty that we live in a tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 05:23 PM
5

I said in the comment you replied to that my intention isn’t to mock her (and don’t feel like I am?) and that the phrasing “played herself” wasn’t the nicest way to word this? I also said that he was 100% to blame and that despite any choices she may or not have made, she didn’t deserve to have that happen. Did you even read my comment? My top one literally calls it financial abuse, because it is. Victim “blaming” requires blame... Nowhere in there do I blame her, in fact I say multiple times th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 04:34 PM
20

That was my first thought since that’s exactly what my dad did and how my dad would have phrased it to try and gloss over the fact that he didn’t remember. Either way, I’m sure it was horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 04:08 AM
257

At least there’s a dildo shop right there for when he’s inevitably disappointing and selfish in bed 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:04 AM
106

It also really concerns me that he “doesn’t remember what he said” when he was scolding her in the kitchen. How often does he just unload on his wife that he can’t remember a basic conversation? Or, more likely, he was an absolute ass (even more so than the rest of the post) and doesn’t want to admit that he likely verbally abused her while her fucking appendix was rupturing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:18 AM
9

I just read the full post and her comments and he’s full on abusive. He lied to her about the title, isolated her from her job and negs her about cleaning/childcare telling her not to “monetize” her contributors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:14 AM
24

Holy fuck I just read the second half that wasn’t posted here and he is 100% emotionally abusive. She does 90% of the chores and stays at home with the kids and he negs her and tells her “not to monetize her contributions”, after lying to her about not being able to be on the title, using her money to intentionally buy a house too far away from her old work for her to go back. He’s got a chained nanny/maid/chef/sex doll that he doesn’t want on the title of his house. What the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:09 AM
1

Schrodingers woman- were both “beautiful” and a “fat bitch” until they find out whether we’re going to fuck them or not. Told you he was low value 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:47 AM
75

Does she want a UTI? Because that’s how you get a UTI strong enough to kill you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 09:20 PM
3

He’s just gonna complain to his single-and-living-at-home friends that women these days are gold diggers because they don’t want to get mugged in a park. Don’t waste your time lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 09:16 PM
8

“I will see your rejection of my free date and raise you a $3.99 coffee that I will later tell you you should have paid for because FeMiNiSm” (and I feel like assuming he would pay for that coffee is being generous). These are the men who want you to have their whole ass baby and then split the cost of diapers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 09:11 PM
21

Just stop messaging after they offer the park. HVM don’t start with a lowball offer and work their way up when you counter or call them on it. Good treatment isn’t a negotiation. A low value offer shows that they are LV, just walk away. It’s not you, most men are just LV these days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 09:07 PM
43

I go back and forth on this trying to find where I officially stand on it. While I definitely don’t think we should gloat about it (and I don’t necessarily get that vibe from the title, although the “played yourself” maybe isn’t the nicest way to word it), I do think at a certain point, women need to educate themselves and take charge and stop expecting men to have their best interests at heart. The fact that she has no credit and just handed over 35k with no real understanding of what was happe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 08:03 PM
127

Say it with me, “FINANCIAL ABUSE”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 06:10 PM
36

Please he has an Xbox controller in his hand, he probably doesn’t speak unless it’s food or sex related.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 06:08 PM
18

I know a guy who meets that description and I would consider a HVM, but like with any other category that’s rare. He’s a HVM first and an artsy fartsy second (he’s also my cousin, and somehow that side of the family just cranks out good men, they’re all HVM from what I’ve seen, it just defies logic), anytime a scene becomes their whole personality, i would run. I also won’t touch the full on “rock star” types with a ten foot pole, they all have delusions of grandeur and end up being wanna be “po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 06:05 PM
32

This is why I stopped gaming, it’s $60 for a 2/3 finished game and they want you to spend another small fortune on DLC. Never mind that since the PS2 came out, the consoles are the price of a cheap but serviceable used Honda, I just can’t spend that much money on a time sink. Nothing good comes from dumping that much time into something like that. I’ve only known one guy who “gamed” in an amount that I’d be ok with, but he didn’t identify as a gamer. In the 5 months we dated, I think he played m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 06:02 PM
4

I’m in the same boat, I just don’t bother thinking about it lol. Meeting someone is so many different factors but ultimately comes down to “do you randomly cross paths in a world with 7 billion people” (never mind do you do it while you’re both single etc). I just figure I’m amazing and unique and have so much to offer, and wouldn’t mind meeting someone, there has to be some equal possibility that a guy is also amazing and unique and a good person and hasn’t found the right woman because he’s wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:47 AM
8

I don’t think it’s blaming women for being manipulated (or at least that’s very much not my intention if it’s coming across like that), it’s not like I think they deserve it because a man took advantage of them. Just because a woman is trusting doesn’t mean that it’s her fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that there often is a pattern that’s overlooked because being nice and forgiving and not judging is so engrained in us (so they can take advantage of it). More just speaking from experienc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:26 AM
8

I find it really hard to believe that those men were 100% good until that one big thing. I’m more likely to believe that there were patterns of that behavior that were ignored or dismissed because most women don’t vet strictly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 11:55 PM
12

I mean there’s always a risk he’ll change his mind. I might change my mind (I doubt it but you never know). At that point you adjust and maybe have to walk away from something you have invested in but I at least havnt run into men that have lied about it. I also am a very “in the moment” type of person tho, I don’t really date with forever in mind, I just do what I want in the moment and if it leads to forever then I’ll figure that out when we get there. I know what you’re talking about tho, I’v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 11:41 PM
52

I’m pretty solid on not wanting kids. I tell guys that before I even go on a date with them. Why spend time and invest in something that’s doomed from the beginning? I’m not going to change my mind and don’t expect them to... I cover all this stuff in the talking stage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:59 PM
9

We all were at one point, and they know and use it to their advantage. It makes me so mad that being vulnerable and innocent is a “bad thing” at this point in time because of how easy it makes it to prey on women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 05:42 PM
5

I mean, I had spent from 12-18 dissociating from reality because of abuse from multiple adults in my life and if I hadn’t tried to cut the feelings off I likely would have killed myself because they were so overwhelming dark and full of despair. 18-23 I spent drunk/high/sleeping around/doing anything I could to keep the shit from crashing back into my head. It wasn’t so much that it was a conscious effort at this point, it was just the only way I knew to be to survive, and it spilled out into ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 05:39 PM
7

Yes, I was talking to someone here about why I don’t date until I feel “fixed” even tho I know I still deserve love. I told them, I am who I am because it was what was least likely to get me abused as a child, and I don’t want to be with someone who likes the version that I don’t really think is me, I’m trying to undo that and get back to who I really think I am as a person. Then I’ll find someone who likes me like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 05:28 PM
44

Dudes who say women can’t orgasm are telling on themselves big time. Looking at you Ben Shapiro 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:11 AM
40

Totally unrelated since I have no idea what’s going on with his legal case but I’ve never understood women’s attraction to him. He’s just kind of... generic, scrawny, straight-flamboyant dude, and yet women are constantly drooling over him. And he’s gotten less attractive as he’s aged, i just don’t get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:10 AM
103

“He’s in for a rude awakening” Literally my first thought word for word. Does he think babies just watch tv for 16 hours with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:25 AM
19

I do it all the time. The least we can do is extend a hand, it’s up to them if they want to take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:42 AM
139

He is an asshole. “She was an Angel” means she was super passive and NICE and never challenged him, especially if it’s making OP question just sharing normal opinions. He 100% brings her up all the time to triangulate OP into submission
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:41 AM
16

I think it’s more saying that he should be ready to act in every situation, not necessarily that I need lead and saving but that he’s ready alongside me. After an abusive childhood I have control issues so one thing I look for personally is a man who’s very in control of his own life and ready for anything that may pop up, because I will also be ready and I can’t handle feeling like I’m dragging someone with me (I won’t do it for them). And I can’t handle the dysfunction and chaos of someone who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:38 AM
12

No emotional attachment, go out with them to get what I wanted (either something to do because I was bored, wanted sex, someone to go to a concert with because I didn’t want to go alone etc), I’d ghost them once I was bored or they started catching feelings or got annoying (or just tell them to get over it if they wanted to stick around because I wasn’t emotionally attached), i wouldn’t invite them to my place or introduce them to friends or family (or tell anyone about them), only go to theirs …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:24 AM
24

No wonder the poor kid has a meltdown, she probably has to to get a crumb of attention from DD (Dickwad Dad, do I have the whole acronym thing down? I know they like those)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:23 AM
28

Yes! This is what I love to hear from the next generation!!!! does a happy dance around the office
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:39 PM
46

It’s basically “yeah honey, I could have been doing all of this all along, but I didn’t want to.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:21 PM
21

It is rape. They are performing a sexual act that you did not consent to, and if they’re trying to get you pregnant intentionally reproductive coercion is 100% another form of sexual abuse. You don’t deserve that. We all deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:44 PM
22

My grandfathers side of the family, all of my cousins are extremely sweet, good people. They 100% believe in equality, no demeaning jokes, very kind, loving with everyone, their moms, sisters, girlfriends, strangers. I was up visiting on my birthday once and they insisted on taking me out, calling up all their friends since I didn’t know anyone in the area and throwing me an impromptu party, I’ve had boyfriends who wouldn’t do that. Everytime I’m around them, it’s honestly heart warming what goo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:40 PM
77

MGTOW is 100% redirected hate, they have zero control over their desires and urges for women and they turn that hate onto us because it’s easier than doing a searching moral inventory and working on areas they’re lacking. They literally think they’re brave men resisting the “siren song” (their words). We’re not magical temptresses, they just can’t control their dick. It’s a scary mentality when you realize they’re essentially not in control of themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:35 PM
2

/U/brawcolli your post made me think of this one. Too much of Reddit tries to bully women into accepting porn and OF. Your boundaries are valid, and you deserve someone who not only respects them but shares them ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:14 AM
277

No you don’t. I “dated” like a man (if you can even call it dating) in my twenties because I was emotionally dead and while there is a hedonistic sense of self satisfaction and mental escape, it’s not emotionally healthy and it’s self destructive. As soon as I started working on my childhood abuse and reconnecting with my feelings and inner vulnerable self, I had to (wanted to) stop because I realized just how bad it was. That’s why I wholeheartedly believe that any man that operates like this i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:57 AM
100

This made me cry, this is the exact shit I was thinking about when I made that comment. I’m so sorry that happened to you, you deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:39 AM
541

I’d also add, you only hear the stories we recognize/name as sexual assault. How many women don’t think that what happened to them was really assault because “it wasn’t that bad” or “we were dating” or “I was drunk”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:12 AM
15

I am currently trying to get over something similar (not a guy but a parent) and the one thing that’s helped me is getting angry about it. I don’t want to stay angry forever, but for right now, having a steadily burning torch of “this was fucked up, fuck you, I’m going to get this out of my brain because I don’t fucking deserve this” has been the only thing that keeps me from sliding back into it. I did a lot of reading, googled “emotional abuse signs” and went down the checklist marking off wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 01:24 AM
128

Cant let her get any potential talents or skills (or confidence) that will let his indentured servant escape her domestic servitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 11:46 PM
10

26 year olds are immature af, I’m early thirties and don’t date younger for that exact reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:15 PM
31

Oh shit I way misread that (so used to creepy old dudes lol) that’s even weirder. In that case I’d wonder if he has any financial gain from her dying. Either way, knowing that she’s upset about it and struggles with her BPD, it’s weird and inconsiderate that he’s like stoking this paranoia by obsessively researching it and talking to her about it. Like you can’t not obsess over serial killers for your SO’s mental health?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 06:41 PM
13

EDIT - I CANT READ 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 06:30 PM
187

“Money is overrated” read “I don’t have any and don’t have options to change that so I’m going to act like it doesn’t matter” “Temp job”. Nuff said
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 06:29 PM
126

Made a Hinge. Swiped left through piles of garbage. Find a guy whose pictures are good, questions are fully answered, bonus points one of them hits on one of my favorite hobbies and actually seems promising. Literally the first one I’m even considering swiping right on. Check the bottom of the profile where it has his IG linked... He’s got pictures of himself with strippers on his dating profile. I don’t know if he forgot that the app picks random photos from IG or just didn’t care but either wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:46 PM
62

The only reason he thinks they’re “saggy” is because they aren’t fake. I would bet money that she just has normal C cups and he’s so used to good fake boobs from porn he thinks everyones should be THAT perky. I know someone who got a boob job and hers look 100% real (but pretty perky), I would never guess they weren’t real if I didn’t already know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:56 PM
38

It happens to all of us. But upside is now that it’s learned, you have more time for better shit. (Tell your awesome dog I said hi and give them a little butt scratch for me ❤️)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:42 AM
26

Also bonus points for the subtle neg that most women aren’t intelligent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:37 AM
27

It literally looks like he bought himself a water bottle at the store and then realized it was Christmas Eve and grabbed a sharpie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:35 AM
19

Did he underline Merry Christmas? Like... to specify that it’s a Christmas gift (and it gives me this hilarious mental image of him thinking “only Christmas, no happy holidays”). Is that the new Christmas themed wrapping paper? This literally looks like he bought himself a Nalgene and then went “shit, Christmas is today?” and grabbed a Sharpie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:34 AM
307

Yup. Plus some of them have this weird fetish about the fact that their sperm can essentially infiltrate our bodies and force changes on it that (short of an abortion) we are powerless to stop. It’s the ultimate form of control and owning a woman’s body in every possible way. I’ve heard men discussing it before and it’s absolutely vile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:31 AM
183

This is sad, why do I feel like they wouldn’t have come if she wasn’t paying for everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:26 AM
141

Read- “trying to find someone to pay for half my kids shit (and probably become a free babysitter, cook, nursemaid), I won’t message because I want to know that you’re desperate enough to message me first” He is not shirtless and bragging about being able to cook a 50c hard boiled egg 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:31 AM
22

He’s petty af. Shocking from a man in his mid thirties dating 6 years younger /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:24 AM
9

You’re still asking if “being condemned to being alone” is that bad, it just seems like a really negative way to phrase it to me vs just “being alone”. Your phrasing suggests that being alone with yourself is a punishment but if it was just a random word choice and I’m reading too much into it then 🤷🏼‍♀️ people’s words choices tend to reveal more layers than they think it does consciously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:20 AM
32

Why is it “condemning” you to be alone, that’s a really negative descriptor? I love being alone, I’m centered and peaceful and can spend my time on what I want and need instead. I would gladly open that up for the right person but being single should the norm, not a negative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:02 AM
93

Well there you go. This is who he is, and now that he’s comfortable and thinks you won’t leave, he’s phoning it in. I’m sorry if anything I say comes across as harsh, I only say it because I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, but only one way. This is who he is. People rarely change, and only if they want to. He is not it sis, you can do so much better now that you see things for what they are. You are too young and doing too well for yourself to let some leech drain the life out of you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:30 PM
92

No my birthday was a bit after his, so a bit after we went to his I told him “I want to go to XYZ for mine” like he had told me for his. He did not make any effort to remember that or didn’t make a reservation or whatever the breakdown was. But it is not really my job to nag him into being a good boyfriend. If he can’t be bothered to make it happen then there’s no point. You deserve someone who wants to spoil you and take care of you, the way you clearly do for him (you already have something pl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:25 PM
75

He made his first offer. Whether he “changes” from here, this is who he is and how he thinks you deserve to be treated in a relationship. This does not get better, it only gets worse. I read your older posts, he is mooching and telling you it will magically change when you legally commit (and he’s potentially entitled to half your house depending on where you live), this is bad news. You said in another comment that old you would have been ok with this. Old you picked this loser, time for new yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:56 PM
216

And he’s 6 years older. He’s stuck in his ways, this is not going to magically change when they get married like he supposedly says, he’s living the good life and saving his money while his younger GF takes care of him. Unbelievable. I took my ex out to the restaurant he’d picked for his birthday and ended up paying $300 for dinner (I didn’t realize the place was that expensive, not that I would have said no). Then he made spaghetti at home for my birthday and got me a $10 toy as a gift, despite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:54 PM
8

Ryan, Is that you?!? Like wtf even the age is the same, i am shook 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:11 PM
97

Be ready to sacrifice your physical well being to protect the family from raiders or war. I’ll find the next best option to protect me and any offspring I have when you die 👋🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:09 PM
182

Not mine but my bestie told me this morning that after she gave birth, she was asking the doctor about tubal litigation because she didn’t want to give birth again (she almost died) and the doctor looked at her husband and asked if he was ok with it. Her husbands response was “don’t ask me, it’s her body”. After doing the research, he offered to get a vasectomy after realizing it was a much safer, less invasive procedure for him than it was for her. Then he went and did it. She also told me that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:25 PM
58

And then they’re surprised when the men put in zero effort elsewhere as well, I’ve watched it ongoing with a friend of mine. They don’t suddenly step up and become equal partners, they have to be a driving force to start with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:21 PM
10

For me, I am unable to be kind and giving if I haven’t already taken care of myself by establishing boundaries for my physical and mental well being. It’s like trying to fill someone else’s cup from yours when yours is full of holes and can’t hold water to start with. Once I knew what good treatment felt like from myself, it was much easier to recognize at a basic level what was and wasn’t good for me when it came to other people, and what was worth allowing into my space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:18 PM
41

I grew up with a mom who told me it was women’s jobs to heal the men in our lives and in this world to make it a better place. Unsurprisingly, she let them all abuse me while she was trying to save them (basically by having sex with them? She didn’t really do anything to try to make them change or be better, we were just supposed to unconditionally love and support them until they saw the light and wanted to change for us 🤪) and it’s a joke. To this day she is still friends with her ex who gave …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:14 PM
6

Id probably be ok with one divorce, provided he was either young or not at fault (which is hard to ascertain tho), but isn’t too damaged from it. No kids, alimony or residual legal/emotional entanglement. The last divorced guy I dated was so bitter, it was obvious he didn’t trust anyone fully but it had been a long marriage and supposedly she cheated on him and broke his heart. I can see a guy getting married out of high school and it not being right. But if he’s married like three different wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:39 PM
5

I feel like it completely tramples over context as well. Sure some people may want to sleep with people in power(whether the reasoning is sound or also distorted and guided by patriarchal brainwashing is another sticky conversation) but if that person in power is extorting and manipulating control to force unwanted sexual encounters or full on rape (Weinstein), that’s a whole other ballpark, and she just kind of lumps it together and then dismisses it quite easily. Maybe if you’re born wealthy a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:24 PM
15

Yeah I remember them calling her a gold digger, talking about her looks (which was her parents dressing her up like a child prostitute), saying she was a dumb blonde, and there was like some mention of his age but not nearly the critical pedophile talk that it should have been. This was one of those things that really made me realize how much society fails girls and markets their sexuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:34 AM
5

I didn’t necessarily become obsessed with it but I read the Gossip Girl books in junior high and it made me feel like I was a total weirdo for not being like that. I was super overweight and my mom was a poor hippie so there was zero chance that I was going to suddenly be Blair Waldorf, I didn’t even bother. But it definitely made me feel lacking for a really long time, and I have noticed that I have a tendency to value name brands and “rich” stuff like that even though I know logically they don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:31 AM
15

Yup and everyone criticized her while it was happening. So gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:12 AM
55

They just want the ego boost that they think we get when some perv creeps on us in public.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:37 AM
15

Literally the only HV man I’ve ever met in my entire 1million+ city was from Match (although that was years ago when it still kind of had the reputation of being exclusive and for commitment only). Someone posted on her awhile ago saying she used Tinder Gold and just used it to sort through those who had already swiped on her and picked who looked decent, but if there are no decent men then nothing you can do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:53 AM
9

Bingo! This is exactly how you get your faith back in A man... Wanting faith back for all of them is a pointless request, they don’t all deserve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 07:56 PM
83

You’re not the right fit because you won’t fall prey to his manipulations. That’s a good thing (just not for his penis lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 06:35 PM
133

Yes, it normally means you assume the worst and made it hard for them to actually do the worst. I only hear this when I tell someone I’m not interested in casual sex, and they get offended that I would assume they wanted casual sex, then they promptly start hitting me up for casual sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 06:32 PM
11

Truer words have never been spoken. The only man who has made me orgasm was also the only man who didn’t brag that he was going to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 06:24 PM
61

Basically her dad (I think was the one who started it) had her declared legally unfit to manage her own life after her mental breakdown where she shaved her head. CA courts appointed her dad legal conservatorship over her, her finances and business decisions, essentially saying that she’s not mentally competent to make decisions for herself. She has since tried to get it rescinded or amended several times but the courts continue to extend the conservatorship (it was moved to someone else and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:49 PM
8

Like A Boy was the shit when I was younger. She so succinctly called out all the bullshit they try to get away with. Never Ever was a good song too, she kind of plays the “stereotypical pick me in love” and then the rebuttal and chorus is “if that boy don’t love you by now, he will never ever love you” and why she needs to leave and get over him for her own sake even tho she “loves” him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:17 AM
131

I’m not super into celebs normally but I’ve been following her story and it’s criminal what they’re doing to her, and disgusting that the courts are enabling it. Her IG pictures are heartbreaking, you can see it in her eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:09 AM
5

Yeah that’s beyond vile. And theyll all justify it with “kinks are common”, like that makes it any less gross and perverted that SO many of them are that fucked up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:17 AM
5

Of course not, he’d say it’s degrading
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:53 AM
127

Is there anything we can do to help if we don’t live in Poland?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 12:04 AM
58

Still having to do the burden of housework, childcare etc. unpaid and on top of our work. And that’s only discussing those of us who are actually somewhat out of the chokehold. There’s still millions of women living in societies that entrap them like it’s the 16th century and will literally KILL them for stepping outside of their given options. There was a Reddit post about a “women’s bank” that men were making fun of and it literally was a bank in a country where women have next to no freedom a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:25 PM
33

And better yet, it’s because of us! They would all be Einstein’s if only we weren’t threatening them with our (checks notes) acting like equal human beings and all that 🙄 And our achievements were done while still fighting an uphill battle for basic human rights and respect. Meanwhile they take equality as criticism and play the victim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:22 PM
23

And they’re the same men who cry “men need space to be men” about male only spaces 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:53 PM
3

This is why I don’t trust “gentlemen” 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:49 PM
27

Right? It’s the same old story of men demanding access and space in what women built instead of doing their own work and respecting ours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:46 PM
25

The cognitive dissonance is REAL for some women still. It’s like the Matrix, it threatens their reality so they don’t want to unplug and face how it’s really been all along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:45 PM
92

Men made most inventions because women physically weren’t allowed out of the home and into work places or schools until the last bit of history. Really hard to invent stuff when the controlling demographic is keeping you raped up pregnant in the house cooking, cleaning and taking care of your other forced babies under threat of physical abuse or starvation. Literally the second women were allowed into the work force and schools, they started achieving things equal to or greater than men (or men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:44 PM
55

I do this and it works great. I also regularly clean out my text threads if it’s an unsaved number or spam texts so I don’t have to scroll through them, so if they haven’t texted me in a day or two, it gets completely deleted and I couldn’t message them if I wanted to. Bonus points that when they hit me up six months later (like they inevitably do) I can feel them die a little inside when I respond “who’s this?” and they realize I didn’t save their number and I wasn’t sitting there pining after …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:38 PM
46

The men that can do this, the almost dating and some “emotional” attachment without actually committing and building on it have mental problems. I was involved with someone exactly like this in my twenties and it is not sane to have this type of half relationship with someone. He’s either completely emotionally numb or he’s a fucking psychopath who is 100% manipulating her (I’m leaning towards the latter because if he was just “scared of feelings” he wouldn’t be moving her in to share rent and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:32 PM
7

I read it more as they’re waiting around for the actual women who weren’t picked and who are now desperate enough to settle for these losers he’s calling kings. Let’s be honest, when men talk about women owing them anything, it’s usually sex, not just attention
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:53 AM
145

“This isn’t working, you can go” was how I used to kick guys out if they sucked. I didn’t give a fuck in my twenties, I was born fed up with peoples shit 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:47 AM
23

Because he just told you that hes cruising for someone younger to cheat on his spouse with, he has to remind you that he isn’t a POS in case the other things made you come to that conclusion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:44 AM
7

I think the comment where he talks about “scraps falling off the table from the big dogs” could be taken that way, since the subject of every other tweet is women, and the first half of that tweet is directly about women not owing them, therefor they don’t get anything and wait for the “scraps” women who aren’t claimed by better men. It’s possible that he’s suddenly talking in a wider “life” sense but would be out of step with every other sentence in those posts. Just my take on it 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:40 AM
99

This is how he treats living things (and BRAGS ABOUT IT via video to girls). This is 100% a warning to how he will eventually treat you. Wtf is wrong with men, FFS ETA- (actually reevaluating this, I’m remembering that abusive men use this as a litmus to see if you don’t get shocked at this, you’re likely going to be ok with other bs...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 09:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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