Warning

EclecticBarbarella · 2021-05-06T15:47:38+00:00

A post on here awhile ago made me look up the tenancy laws in my state. Once he’s spent seven nights in a row or 14 nights in a six month period, he’s considered a tenant and needs to be legally evicted. That’s two nights a month. Uh no.

This is why I only go to their place (once we’re officially dating and I know he’s not a serial killer of course). That and I can leave if I’m unhappy, I’ve watched an ex-friend try to kick guys out after a fight or something and they’d just refuse to leave.

JSBachLove · 2021-05-06T19:21:40+00:00

This is long, but worth it:

If he lives with his parents DO NOT MOVE HIM INTO YOUR HOUSE / APARTMENT!!!!!! There is a reason he is not at least living with a roommate paying 50/50 on rent and bills. The reason being, he is terrible at money or horribly lazy and entitled.

When I was in my early 20's I started dating a guy 4 years older than me who lived at home. I rented a cute upper flat in a cool area that I loved, but it was small. (Like 500 sq ft). He lived with his parents, and from what I gathered he always lived with his previous girlfriends. After a few months of him staying over my flat 3-4 days a week, I was getting irritated that the place was so small for us to do things in and he proposed us getting our own place together.

I had my reservations, as I had never lived with a guy before. He told me he wanted to go forwards, not backward, and that this was the next step. I don't know how I let him brainwash me into thinking this was a good idea. Fast forward a month or so and we are signing a lease on a home for rent in the same area. Of course, he had prior evictions and credit issues so I put the entire lease in my name. (Insert clown emoji here.) He agreed to pay half of the bills and rent. He told me what he made (which turned out to be a complete fucking lie) and that it would be no issue.

As I'm sure you can guess, he started out paying 50/50, but would be short here and there and he would "get me later", which he never did. When I would bring it up he would convince me that wE aRe A tEaM and I would shut up about it out of guilt. Of course, the only teamwork was me making up for his shortcomings. He always seemed to have money for weed. Fast forward to the lease expiring, and we rent a condo for a similar price. (insert another clown emoji here.) Once we moved in, he didn't pay for SHIT. He always had some kind of excuse, and by this time, I was so numb and brainwashed I just worked harder and harder to make ends meet and things work, we were a tEaM after all ...

He would gaslight the crap out of me whenever I would get angry and bring up that he wasn't helping, he would act like I was nuts and that he has been giving me almost half of everything the entire time. I would ask for examples and he would make an excuse and gaslight me some more. When the process is slow, you lose yourself and your convictions, trust me. It doesn't matter HOW smart you are, it can happen to anyone.

Fast forward another 14 months or so, and I am ready to purchase my first home at the age of 26. Of course, he still had zero dollars in the bank and wasn't helping out, but had the AUDACITY to ask me to put him on the title. I am not THAT stupid, so I refused. I purchased the home and of course he still never helped pay a dime. I paid for new gutters, a new sewer line, all the bills, all of the furniture, EVERYTHING. I am mortified at myself just typing this out, but it needs to be said so someone can maybe learn from my mistakes.

I've been in this home for 5 years, but it took 3+ years together in this home for me to somehow realize how big of a fucking idiot I am. I hit my breaking point and realized that I saw him as my child, not my partner. I looked around my home and realized that not a single thing would change if he was gone. We already weren't having sex almost EVER, since he was always high and I was always busy trying to manage our home and life. Everything in the home was mine, except for the Playstation 4 and VR I bought him. (Because OF COURSE I did.) I kicked his ass out and he left crying with his car full of clothes and video games a few weeks later. I never looked back.

Listen, I am 100% happier today than I ever have been. I love my life, I have a cute house that is mine, and a boyfriend that actually participates in a give-and-take relationship. I may have wasted 7 years (and all of my 20's) with a loser, but I am never looking back. Oh, and of course he never asked me to marry him! Why would he? I was a 100% Pickmeshia.

I will never EVER live with another man until I have a ring on my finger and a wedding date scheduled, and maybe even then I'd wait until after the wedding.

I didn't know anything about FDS until a few months ago, but I am so grateful for the girls that do see the light every single day thanks to you lovely ladies!

TLDR: DON'T BE MEEEEE!

BasketLow8411 · 2021-05-06T16:19:03+00:00

Yep. It took me some moving mountain shit to get rid of my scrote roommate. He was definitely going to be homeless without me but he wasn’t paying rent or contributing anything financially to the house. My STBX invited him in without my consent. It was easier to kick my STBX out than the other guy.

lostmillenia · 2021-05-06T17:42:36+00:00

A friend's been trying to kick her ex out since last summer. She begged her dad for help but he's been useless, shrugging and saying he can't do anything to make the ex leave because it would be rude to order him out and throw his stuff out onto the lawn, as if staying long past his welcome isn't already rude on the ex's part.

Bubbly-Manufacturer · 2021-05-06T17:47:43+00:00

I moved my ex into my house. Thank goodness my brother had moved in. Idk if he would have left if it was just me and my mom.

Even so I still had to call my ex’s brother to come pick him up for him to leave. He literally said “no” when I told him to get out.

99natas · 2021-05-06T18:05:24+00:00

Oh god I’m going on 2 years post break up trying to get my ex to move the fuck out.

He had not had a job in 13 years so he had to get a job and then he couldn’t afford it. Recently he got a good paying job, but it’s part time until September.

I look forward to freedom.

lostmillenia · 2021-05-06T22:04:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

donttextme_k · 2021-05-06T21:12:31+00:00

Is there any other reason besides 50/50? Comments I’ve seen on these types of post usually involve not so financially stable men but what about financially stable ones? I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of moving in together before marriage but some of my friends are like this. Either the guy pays the rent or it’s his house. They go on occasional dates which he pays for, buys groceries and cooks. The girlfriend sometimes buy groceries and cooks when they want because when they want something, why do they need to wait around for him to go grocery shop. They would need to buy grocery regardless if they live by themselves anyways. So I guess what I’m getting at is, I understand they are at a risk of being the forever girlfriend and their time wasted but don’t they also benefit something? Free rent? Someone that cooks for them?

Title	Warning
Author	lostmillenia
Upvotes	343
Comments	40
Date	May 6, 2021 3:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n69l4h/warning/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/warning.758721 https://theredarchive.com/post/758721