TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

papanezismysaviour Archive

View 15 posts and 163 comments by papanezismysaviour on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
206

STRATEGYpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:00 PM
188

RANTpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 10:31 PM
128

COCKHOLM SYNDROMEpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:18 AM
108

FDS ANTHEM 🎶papanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:06 AM
93

FDS ANTHEM 🎶papanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 12:06 AM
68

NICE FOR WHAT?papanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:20 PM
51

MOOD FOR LIFEpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:42 AM
39

FDS ANTHEM 🎶papanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:13 PM
38

MOOD FOR LIFEpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:10 PM
36

MINDSET SHIFTpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:27 PM
1

RANTpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:47 AM
1

MALE DEPRAVITYpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 11:48 PM
1

NICE FOR WHAT?papanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:15 PM
1

RANTpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 06:24 AM
0

FINE AF FRIDAYSpapanezismysaviour/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:43 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
36

Trolling is a sign of sociopathy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 02:06 AM
54

Most men are not relationship-material because they don't want to empathize with women or don't have the ability to do so. Their relationships are shallower than ours, they don't prioritize emotional connection like we do. It's a fact. You just accept that's the way it is and avoid these men as soon as you spot them. But also, even the best HVM is going to be a man. You have to adjust your expectations that he expects to feel useful and you have to make him feel like that. He won't be one of you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:05 AM
4

I'm very interested in knowing more about the gay mannerisms part. Sometimes I thought my exes sounded or looked gay at times but couldn't pinpoint why or how. My mom thought the same of my last ex, so it wasn't just me. He wasn't an effeminated nor homosexual man either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:30 PM
18

I know some people might be mad at the first point. But it's kind of true. There are people that can pull off wearing kawaii or more revealing clothing and it doesnt look out of place at all because it fits their personality. But... most women that follow those trends, well, I have always thought they looked vulnerable, like someone that wants to fit in. And I'm sure men pick up on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:09 AM
156

You were right, girl. Romance is always better in fantasy. Live your life, focus on your career and keep avoiding commitment to men like you were doing. You aren't selfish for caring about money. You don't need to prove anything to men. Don't lie to yourself, you aren't enjoying the relationship so dump him. You don't like him, you just like the vision in your head about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 03:40 PM
9

It isn't so hard to understand. Just be yourself and allow others to prove themselves to you. You can get stuff done for yourself and receive things from men at the same time. That's being feminine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 08:37 AM
54

LMAO... When I started dating my exes, I was embarrassed to be seen with them in public for the first months and then that faded, I wasn't aware it was because they were UGLY and I wasn't attached yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 03:32 AM
215

I used to think my last ex was cute until I was deleting pictures from my old phone, and he was uglier in the face than I remembered. Falling in love makes us see people very different from what they look like. Many women project many good qualities in men, so we perceive them as more attractive than they are. Once, we realize they don't have none of those qualities, their looks don't justify that attraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 12:53 AM
155

I don't like this quote. A man that is hurtful to women will always be trash. But a woman that was hurt by a man can learn to avoid making the same mistakes and level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 08:59 PM
23

annulment quick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:44 PM
4

This shouldn't be a shower thought. This is a great strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:53 PM
4

I feel so sorry for her. What a scumbag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:53 AM
40

Leave him. It's too early to be having 'communication' issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:57 AM
11

This won't end well. Please leave while you can and don't have children with him because he's already telling you subtly that he doesn't prioritize your comfort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:06 AM
2

Games are a medium, not a hobby. It's not like making art or coding, which are things that make you develop actual skills. Most gamers don't curate their games. They play the same gameplay for hours and years with no meaningful purpose, so they don't really learn something new or become a more interesting person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 12:00 PM
2

Yess, Jem and the Holograms' songs were always about love lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 03:53 AM
3

Sadly, I never had the opportunity to watch it when I was a kid. But I really love their songs, they gave the villains the best lyrics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 03:49 AM
14

I'm not american neither I'm well versed in the american civil war, so my point of view might be wrong because I'm overlooking many facts. I'm aware that it romanticizes those times because of the time the movie was made, but... honestly, I didn't have the impression that it did even though that was the intention. It weirds me out when people say this film is flattering. All the characters are potrayed to be stuck in a bubble and way out of touch with others, and all their ideals and values don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 09:33 AM
23

Agreed. The novel was so crystal clear that Ashley was just a sham, a teenager's first crush that should have ended as that. And neither Rhett nor Ashley were good options for her at all. Even in the movie, you can tell Scarlett doesn't develop true love for any man outside of her family. I think Margaret wanted her to just take Tara and be single forever as a unapologetically rich woman, but no one would have read that in 1936, so she made Scarlett chase Rhett.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 07:14 AM
67

This is one of my favorite movies and books and I can understand why Scarlett was so in love with the idea of Ashley and couldn't let that go. He represented someone that was safe, respectful and moral, even though it was an illusion. He looked the part but that's it. It reminded me of women falling in love with nerdy men thinking they would be good boyfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 10:16 PM
43

Women are choosers and it literally does not matter what men want
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 11:29 PM
2

You can borrow it to read on the site. I'm not sure if there's a downloadable one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 08:47 PM
18

Here it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 02:40 AM
2

A lot of men don't shower every day, let alone every night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:24 AM
2

I dislike when people base their whole personality on the things they like. I think it's great to have hobbies and interests but when it comes to the detriment of not being tasteful, I can't handle it. I love kpop and I know a bit about it, as well as these many nerdy interests. But you won't see me having a whole kpop themed house with boyband posters plastered on every wall. It's a thing that TEENAGERS do. Sure, I might buy the odd keychain thing if I need it, but people need to learn that the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 11:49 PM
83

I love this. I think Marilyn Monroe did this well without sounding too intentional, like playing dumb. Something like 'Oh I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with money' while looking genuinely empathetic and confused. I think it must feel very emasculating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 09:04 AM
5

Always trust you deserve peace of mind. No man is worth feeling unsafe over. 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 01:17 AM
55

When in doubt, look at your actions. You had to make a whole post about this guy you aren't sure of. He doesn't need to be awful to stop dating him. Also, it's best not to tell guys your expectations. Let him impress you without you having to guide him. You're not a videogame tutorial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 11:53 PM
25

I feel growing up as a woman is traumatic. I think, at some point, we all know we are going to be reduced to a body by society and we want to avoid that as long as possible, so we do all these cringy stuff to avoid the reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:09 PM
2

That's totally valid and I agree. But still, she doesn't seem like the kind to be naive about these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:45 PM
1

Why don't you try telling her that there's a way to find a suitable guy for her and then show her the handbook? Like don't judge her, just suggest her that it might help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:18 AM
34

I'm siding with the theory that she's with him for PR.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:45 AM
35

Thank you. I'm in this scenario right now, it's heartbreaking when someone close has a problem and is making the same mistakes you did. I have screwed up with this a few times. But it's true that people should learn at their own pace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 07:34 AM
6

Well, being used as a fleshlight or made to feel like another notch on his bed isn't sexy. I don't see the point in having sex with someone that doesn't love you. Sex is good when men make you feel like a goddess in every way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 11:43 AM
3

Never thought I'd find a clip from Rik here. Always cracked me up. Miss him lots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 11:10 AM
13

Huge red flag if it's the reverse too. I have been insisted on being intimate while on my period and being told me it'd aliviate my cramps everytime, even though I felt really tired. These men don't care about your comfort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:16 AM
41

Owww, so happy for you. So adorable 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 05:46 AM
33

watch an AIDS documentary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:30 PM
18

For a while, I thought I might want to be childfree even when I was a child. I never liked kids in general. I'm afraid of pregnancy too. But I actually crave my own little family. I won't ever be an aunt unless I marry. I'm not a sister, I'm a cousin, just in name. I have found friends aren't really the substitute for extended family. I'm fond of the idea of being a rich woman that travels with her son/daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:31 AM
2

Even if you decide to be childfree, you have to vet men with the thought you could get pregnant and ruin your plans. And if you're sterile, you aren't immune to AIDS, herpes, etc. A lot of men believe they can have sex with strangers and be ok. A lot of them also think your body is their property. Your body is yours, and you don't have to share it with people that don't treat you right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:02 PM
5

Look at the lives of Rita Hayworth, Hedy Lamarr, Elizabeth Taylor, Ava Gardner, etc. Even model-like, independent and hard working friends of mine suffered some type of clowning at the hands of uglier and less popular dumbasses. What you are describing isn't someone out of a league dating another, you're describing a woman with no self-esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:45 PM
68

Women should aim high not just with men, but in all aspects of our lives. Our education, jobs, friendships, etc. No woman should feel they have to earn triple numbers to attract a HVM. She should aspire to live a comfortable life on her own because this is the only way she can truly have leverage over any man. Is he starting to mistreat me? I'm leaving. And also, men should really be the ones that are more into grooming. Women aren't paying for sex, men are! They need to try harder, they don't e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:05 PM
17

I'm of the thinking that men will never be out of a woman's league, we don't need them unless is to give birth through natural means. Most women don't chase. If a rich model walked to me and start spouting LVM shenanigans, he'd still be lesser than me. But if he was a HVM that asked me out, well, he asked me out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 08:28 PM
3

Just ignore him like he doesn't exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:43 AM
6

Lmao. I want to say this if it ever happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:36 AM
3

Has someone tried to look at these men's foreheads? It supposedly makes people uncomfortable but I have never done it myself so idk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:37 AM
0

It's not misleading when you listen to the podcast. They didn't insult any of these groups, they just clarified why they thought their strategies are defeatist from a FDS lense. I thought they were really respectful about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 07:15 PM
30

They are boring. I'm saying this as someone that knows a bit about games but doesn't play at all, and has met many of these self proclaimed gamers. I associate them with lack of effort, very casual style of dating like in high school, the type that won't plan dates or outings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 05:04 AM
2

I also cringe to some stuff in askFDS but.... as someone that was this way, way before posting. I wasn't a pickme my whole life, at least not as pickme until I had sexual trauma. Suddenly I was craving validation as if my life depended on it. A lot of them are obviously here and there if they sense there are some issues within themselves but their thinking is really distorted due to abuse. Like Stockholm syndrome. Maybe this is the first time they don't blame themselves. Honestly, I hope these w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:49 PM
9

Living together is the real deal, it's not a vetting strategy. If you don't trust the guy before that step, don't live with him. Don't offer marriage benefits to someone you don't trust. Also, living with a roommate is not the same as living with a husband. A roommate will care a lot less about your safety and happiness than a husband will. A good boyfriend will show you that his good treatment will extend to marriage, he will make arrangements to make you feel comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:46 PM
35

For those who aren't sure about marrying without cohabitation. You should be able to be comfortable around your boyfriend and observe his habits without needing to live together. If you aren't able to do that, you need to spend more time together. A man asking you to live together without a ring is not serious about you, there's no other meaning about it. Treat it like the inconvenience it is. Some men are messy (not unhygienic), like some women are, but if he loves you, he will make an effort t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 09:15 AM
6

I'm very anxious, the type to have stomachaches, nausea, pulling hair when stressed, etc. Anxiety is exacerbated by people or situations that you shouldn't be around. I feel amazingly less anxious when I can decide who I let in my life regardless of 'x' reason. Tell her to trust her body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 11:07 PM
1

One of these too. As if those things happened. 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 10:17 PM
10

Lingerie only makes sense for Valentine's Day, and even then, I would expect chocolates too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 12:12 AM
74

Trauma bonding, low self esteem, learned helplessness and a invalidating environment. You lose the sense of agency in your life, you feel incapable of doing anything. You know you're being treated badly but feel stuck because want to avoid being a 'bad person' and feel you can't find better. If you're lucky, you feel nothing you do will work and start lashing out and acting erratically until you're dumped or get out. Some people never get the energy to get out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:33 PM
43

I vomited the day he told he wanted to call me wife as a pet name in the early months and I had really bad bowel issues the day before and after my wedding. Your body is smart, listen to it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 04:13 AM
5

For me, social class would be a combination of the amount of wealth and cultural capital your family has. I have met many people from different lifestyles. I have noticed lower middle class people can have a good amount of cultural capital but when it comes to making decisions, they don't think long term as much. They tend to spend, rather than invest, even if they are high earners. And upper middle class people come across a bit less self reliant in general. These are tiny differences that can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:19 PM
32

I have dated down before and I wouldn't advice it. You might live a similar lifestyle on the surface but your values will start to clash the more time you spend with each other's families. Similarly, if you dated up, you're vulnerable to be pressured to conform to some stuff. Always pick someone that shares your values and genuinely wants the same lifestyle as you do. Also, social class isn't solely about earning money. A lot of high earners are self made and grew up in lower middle and middle c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:32 AM
7

Old women advice on dating always confused me a lot when I was younger. They would throw FDS aligned wisdom and in the same sentence advice you to do something opposite from it. No wonder women have a hard time setting standards or boundaries. They are stuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:43 AM
4

Omg I know. I tried to find it so I could send it to a friend but sadly, it doesn't exist anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:05 AM
11

Will there ever be a revised version of the handbook in pdf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 05:56 AM
3

This. We're so worried about never meeting the ✨GUY✨ or that most are crap, we're not even enjoying our life. That's not how it is supposed to be. And it's counterproductive for our safety to show bitterness towards men. I wish could make this up, but when men get a whiff of our fear, it's like they switch to competing for who's going to traumatize you the most. Being oblivious to substandard men works better. The best treatment I have received from men was when I could leave or take a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:40 PM
5

Oh, I understand. I'm very aware of the situation in Korea right now. But I also have to say Kpop idols, as famous and talented as they are, they are still employees in a manufactured group. We might never know what their individual politics are, since they are under scrutinity of their corporation and korean society. But some positive thing I can vouch for them is that they're popularizing traditional 'female' grooming habits as a normal thing to do for MEN. That said, it's not a must to have a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:13 PM
18

Watch An Unmarried Woman (1978). The ending is so good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 01:24 AM
18

I'm glad this guide helped some of you! I also do careless mistakes like that at times. I'm introverted, but when I'm social I'm known to be bubbly and cheeky and men have taken the wrong idea before. So now I just try to show that side to people I have more trust. You don't owe people you don't know a thing, so never feel bad about sticking to your boundaries. With practice, those situations will happen less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:48 AM
1

They do, but a HVM for a woman might not be one for another. Also, you have to keep vetting anyway. Don't worry so much about him, you decide who you keep in your life. There won't be LVM in it as long you don't put up with them. Treat yourself as an elite good people club, only HVM are allowed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:05 PM
11

I'm glad you also had a dedicated family man in your life. One of the best advices FDS has given me was not to project those qualities into random men. I think HVM actions will speak for themselves, so we shouldn't really try to understand any behavior at all. It won't be necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:51 PM
38

This might not be possible for many, but I think of my dad. He is not perfect but he has always been a good husband and father. If he exists, there might be others like him as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 01:43 PM
38

I'm sorry but I have to strongly disagree with this. Sexual assault and harassment are so common place you can't really ignore it. And there's a lot of shame around standing up for yourself in these instances. A FDS mindset is not encouraged in the real world and most countries. Telling women to be silent about their awful dating experiences seems wrong. This might be the only place that takes them seriously and gives them the chance to validate they didn't deserve that treatment, and hopefully …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:46 AM
17

I always got the idea that you could only know if he was a HVM until he dies, so you always have to keep vetting. I have read many horror stories here of women married to good men for years and then they ended up finding they were NVM. So I think those women telling other women to keep their eyes open are just trying to be helpful. As a younger person, I think it's easier to slip if I label people as good, rather than saying he's been acting consistently good. I can see why women with more exper…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 10:29 AM
1

Sometimes I think the vagina is like a third brain, and many woman suffer because they aren't listening to it. Don't force yourself to have sex if your body isn't feeling comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 11:31 AM
7

He's choosing to hide things from you right now. What if you marry him or have kids with him? It's better to leave him now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:18 AM
6

She looks great without makeup too. I think he's just homiesexual and feels guilty about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:02 AM
9

He looks so done in that portrait. It makes the quote a bit gloomier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:50 AM
9

I love Monsta X and I find Wonho very handsome but he left them for a reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 07:53 AM
10

Dating is like wanting those chinese sneakers from Aliexpress because they look cute, but never buying them because you know they are low quality and stink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:54 AM
18

I approve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:00 AM
10

Saved this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:15 AM
11

Gaahh thanks for clarifying this. Now I see what you mean. I appreciate anime (I think there are tons of talented artists out there), but I hate that it's one of those things that is very likely to attract weird people with LV traits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:05 AM
22

Is it really bad requesting a drawing of your SO? I feel this is less about sexualized drawings and more against people who draw/like anime. edit: if you meant like putting the actual commission in his car like this, yeah, it's cringy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:56 AM
15

Heck even if they're physically attracted to you, if they THINK you like them back (by being friendly or nice), they will start pulling crap to undermine your self-worth because they believe they're alpha or some shit. Then they wonder why you stopped talking to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:06 AM
3

Imagine being a man and thinking he's exaggerating for comedy effect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:19 AM
9

Sometimes the hardest thing is to shut up. 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:31 AM
29

No LVM is worth the risk of a STD or unplanned pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:16 AM
6

My mom has a lot of flaws but after my divorce she sat me down and told me that 'men should pursue me, not the other way around. And that I should stop choosing garbage men and enjoy my job and hobbies'. I think that was the first time I understood how my role in dating was supposed to be. It must be hard to be a parent when you don't have healthy role models for it. I used to be resentful of her most of my teenage years, but now I try to be mindful that her home situation was worse than mine. S…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:05 AM
1

Thank you so much for writing this. I won't lie, it still hurts a bit. I feel like I'm mourning my past self. But I don't want him back at all. He is truly not what I pictured when I thought of a husband. At least not his real personality. I wanted someone genuinely caring, gentle and warm that gets excited about holidays and going out to new places even if they're costly. Goofy and open minded in many ways. This was clearly not the guy for me even if I thought he was funny, handsome or whatever…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:26 AM
1

Thank you so much. Took a few days to distract myself.💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 07:59 AM
1

This is really reassuring and a better way to see it. I appreciate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 07:53 AM
1

He sounds like one. I wasn't an angel but some of his behavior struck me as odd. I don't think I would be a prey to one anymore. Whenever a guy negs me, I can't help but feel he's worthless and treat him with disdain. I don't like this so I have to cut them off. It changed me. I might be a tiny bit more assertive but at the cost of feeling less connected to people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 08:43 PM
3

You're right. I feel I'm grieving my past self rather than him because I don't want him back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:02 PM
6

Thank you. I was doing so fine with FDS until this. I will put more focus in other things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:47 PM
2

Thank you for saying that. It means a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:21 PM
5

I haven't been slacking on that. It's very grim though. Also thank you. I needed to hear this too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:13 PM
9

I believe he hasn't changed. None of the men that dissapointed me ever did. Not even past friends really did. I don't know why I doubt this sometimes. 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:08 AM
9

I try to do that, I keep distancing myself from people because they don't respect me. It just hurts that the guy can be cruel and keep his friends, and realistically hope for a life with someone that will treat him good. It makes me feel there's something wrong with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:16 AM
32

It has passed a bit of time but not too much. He married me and he wanted to quit after two months. He blamed me for everything. I got a job and into exercise, I learned new things, etc. Yet I keep losing friends and all the people that hurt me are happy and getting more support than me. It's pretty discouraging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:59 AM
67

I don't want him back at all, I don't even want a relationship right now. But sometimes I feel like there's something in me that makes others want to disrespect me. I'm tired of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:50 AM
5

I'm not surprised you're resentful despite all her good traits. You're not her mother and I believe you did everything you could to help her. Sometimes the best thing for someone like that is to stop enabling that behavior by distancing yourself. She needs to get into the situation that she has to be responsible for herself, she won't if she knows you all will be there when she screws up. It has worked on me before, and I have seen others grow from it as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 08:47 PM
5

oh my god, it's almost like reading the onion but it's real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 08:12 PM
15

I feel sorry for your friend because it sounds like she isn't coping well with losing her job or something else and she's clinging to these worthless dudes and self destructive behavior because of it. However, endangering her parents and asking you for money. Yikes. Was she always like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 08:01 PM
9

I understand you completely. I'm too opinionated and sometimes I speak before I think. It's hard to cut back on this with a friend because every time there's a men vs women argument, she defends the male pov so vehemently. It's kind of horrid. And obviously I can't fight back because the circlejerk is too set, they are all men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:52 PM
2

I like to do workouts with or without exercise bands. For treating myself, I like to get tucked in bed and watch a classic or meaningful movie. It's cozy. Drinking water is something a lot of people take for granted. I take a shower everyday, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:22 AM
5

It baffles me because he has never been inappropriate in all the years I have known him, not even talking about crushes, if anything I believe he's asexual. That was one of the things I liked about our friendship, that he genuinely saw women as friends. But he's putting videogames and his own comfort over serious matters, which it's part of the problem. People that are not abusers can also perpetuate it by doing nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:44 PM
2

You can also send me a message anytime! I wish you the best on your path to healing. 💟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:49 PM
2

Thank you so much. A fresh start would be great. I don't think I can commit to a full one at the moment (saving to refurbish a place I will be gifted 😆 I'm really excited about it), but I hope I can find new friends to start over. Dyeing my hair copper red/strawberry blonde is tempting too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:48 PM
3

Thank you so much! 💓 This community has helped me a lot with trusting my feelings. I never did and that got me in trouble many times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:37 PM
1

Thank you. 💓 I want to try therapy when the whole quarantine thing is over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:33 PM
5

Thank you. 💟 My ex did this to another girl, too. How can anyone be fine with that? I don't want to be part of that so I will distance myself from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:10 PM
9

I'm sorry you had to go through that. You can always have a safe space here where no one will judge you, at least it was for me. I read it's very common for victims to stay in contact with their abusers because they want to take their power back, or don't want to disturb their friends. It doesn't take away that it's criminal act. It's not easy to internalize that. I think most people have doubts when it happens, believing 'I should have done something different' 'Why did I keep letting it happen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 03:25 AM
6

You're so kind 😭 and honestly, it's reassuring to know people in this community support each other. Abusers get a lot of leeway already. If I find myself in the situation I could be there for someone, I'd take it with no questions asked. Now even if I'm not quite there yet. Helping other women to see their feelings are valid is freeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:20 AM
10

Me too. I can't unsee the pandering to men now. I can't laugh at their jokes because I know they aren't really jokes. I just got closer to my high school friends for this reason, they are great and don't make me feel unsafe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:22 AM
9

Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot that someone listens and takes it seriously. The few people I get to tell this can't cope with such heavy thing, like they don't know what to say and that's fine because I know they care. But I'd be lying if it didn't make me second quess sometimes. It's not an everyday thing, but when it happens, it's awful because I'm in pain. FDS and reading books about the subject has helped me a lot. I was so grief stricken before, I felt guilty for feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:05 AM
4

Thank you for your kind words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 12:23 AM
15

The last part of your comment gets me because I know it's true. I was in the process to going to doctor to treat something last year, and I thought about therapy. This was weeks before quarantine. There are zoom sessions but it'd be too awkward for me because my family could overhear me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 12:22 AM
9

I did all that. I definitely learned my lesson now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 12:21 AM
34

I made it sound like they're just a clan. But they're a bunch of his close friends. Either way, I don't think it's right to defend abusers just because other close friends personally like him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:16 PM
10

Thank you. I agree with everything you said. I wish it was a bit easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:10 PM
49

Thank you. I did months ago. Yet I talked to him to convince him that it wasn't right to let it pass, today. He told me he supports me but I put him in a hard spot because it will affect the clan. He doesn't really care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 10:49 PM
13

I hope living apart together gets more support in the future. Everyone looks at me funny when I mention it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:20 AM
7

That's just sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 03:26 AM
13

He must have a humiliation fetish. People like this do it on purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:57 PM
26

They can always make unsolicited rape jokes but they can't handle being told they have tiny winnies after being pricks. I don't think they understand women don't go out of their way to be rude to people. They are reacting to being disrespected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:47 PM
26

Because they don't like women joking about men genitalia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:25 PM
93

I was just banned from a feminist subreddit because I was a member of FDS. Seems they have never read about Dworkin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:37 PM
3

It's kind of tricky because most people have flaws in certain areas. There are also women that don't like roses or teddy bears and prefer to be practical. I have met them. The point is that the man has to be eager to know her preferences and make her happy on his own initiative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:36 AM
6

If he doesn't consider your happiness important, it's best to let him go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:21 AM
5

I envy your life. Very peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 01:46 AM
6

Armin Meiwes fantasized about that. No problem, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 11:45 PM
2

I think society sexualizes women too much that just existing as one is provocative. Heck, even girls are 'sexy' according to some people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 10:47 PM
2

I appreciate yours! 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:32 PM
5

go die in a war is another good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:56 AM
9

It's alright. I'm not offended don't worry! I find that most K-pop videos are like that, even with all-men groups like NCT or EXO, or solo artists like Taemin. Considering these bands are owned by big corporations, you might be very right about the gaze. But there's something about this video that's so classy and womanly, idk. This is just my opinion, so don't mind me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:14 AM
9

I found it too tasteful for the male gaze. They're just showing off clothes. If anything I think this was made with a women audience in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 01:17 AM
15

Sometimes I have longing for intimacy and I'd remember how it felt and miss it, but when faced with the opportunity to have it I don't feel like doing it either. I can't get past the glaring flags I used to minimize anymore. It would feel like being dishonest with myself. I believe most relationships start because subconsciously we want and decide to be in love. When you don't really care, it's very hard to convince yourself to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:07 AM
17

There are good men that see women as more than a wet hole and it's possible to be friends with them. They exist, but they are not the majority. I have friends like the above but most of them have been LVM that want something more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:50 PM
2

I'm not sure this counts and might be controversial, but Scarlett from Gone with the Wind is depicted as a strong and self-centered woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 11:08 AM
6

Congrats!! Is there a way to change mine to newbie? I have been here for months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:09 AM
7

Jesus my jaw dropped with that. Hope your mother feels better without that bs. :( I was never lib fem or anything, even at one point I was '''antifeminist''' with some feminists ideas, due to some misconceptions (not proud of it because I'm from Mexico, too, big yikes). My mind changed when I started seeing most men don't really care about women's safety unless they benefit from it. I have listened to male friends talk about their feminist friends and how they have opinions that are too 'extreme…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:20 AM
54

Cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 01:24 AM
2

Used to be avoidant for most of my younger years, then fearful/anxious in my 20s. I'm avoidant again, a bit more secure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 10:31 AM
24

Matt Damon is a HVM, if his wife is Ben Affleck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:33 AM
2

You're not alone. I'm exactly this way too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 03:47 AM
75

Sorry but stop this bs. No woman is this forever strong alpha woman for their whole life. We will be pregnant or have periods that make us vulnerable. The men that will be there will be when you're puking, having cancer and when you're not really FUN to live with because you're worth it to HIM! If he doesn't want you when you're like that, well, the door is there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:56 AM
25

Well, I really doubt she really knew what she was signing up at age 20.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 03:58 AM
38

Bowie sounds like a prick. It's kind of sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:48 PM
57

I needed to read this. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 09:19 AM
6

or the woman could just move on to another one of the many men that ask her out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:01 PM
1

Honestly this. Lumping pedophiles and ephebophiliac predators in the same category is doing a disservice to the victims. Both are similar but ephebophilia doesn't hold the same stigma by itself because we're linking it with pedophilia. Younger women are not children but are still vulnerable to predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:13 AM
-2

He's right. This is called ephebophilia and it's still wrong and predatory. Edit: Just to clarify, pedophilia and ephebophilia have different meanings, yet they are both wrong. Hope you don't take me wrong way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 11:42 PM
2

I used to be a hardcore pickme, I thought feminism didn't make sense and that was after having a bad relationship years before. FDS is about always putting yourself first, if you half ass it, it's like going against the whole thing. These people aren't ready. You need a wake-up call in your life that makes you feel tired about tolerating bad treatment from other people to understand the point of it. Once the fog is out, you can't look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:36 AM
44

Men that seek much younger women are predatory. If he is a HVM, he likely thinks you're too young for him or only sees you as an acquaintance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:00 AM
1

This! Never marry someone that makes you feel this way. Marriage is not a solution, it's a partnership. He should treat you with respect and devotion first, and that is not up to you. A lasting marriage has to be good from the start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:07 AM
2

Honestly, if a man insists on 50/50, I take it as he just wants to save money instead of wanting to build a life together or something more serious. A spouse or girlfriend are not a roommate. Also, I'm glad you're in a better situation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:46 AM
9

And that's only in first world countries. There are a lot of deadbeat parents around in the world that don't pay it :/. Anyway, why would someone want to risk getting pregnant by someone that is a bad partner? The world is not an utopia sadly, these kind of things happen all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:10 AM
13

Great post! I tend to attract these men because they think I look delicate and won't tell them off, if you have this advantage, I advice to use it to listen to their words and judge their actions. These men drop the mask quickly if they believe you're what you look like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:02 PM
14

This is my mantra. It absolutely works. You will get over anyone in a few weeks if you repeat it to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 10:23 PM
10

Legally, living together for a few years makes you similar to being married so it's a big commitment either way. People treat it as it is a try-out before buying thing which it's not. If the man you're dating doesn't want to get married with you before that step because he believes you need to prove your worth to him, it means he isn't as committed anyway. But we've been fed by the media to believe less responsibility = more freedom, and nope, just lukewarm relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 10:10 PM
4

I wasted a lot of time hoping to get back together in my previous relationship, and then I look back at him and it's like ughhh what I was thinking. I think by this point I learned it wasn't worth suffering for the actual one either. Also, thank you for taking the time to answer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:29 PM
2

This is the kind of thing I could only write at 4 am hahaha, but yes, life is getting good again and have tons of things to look up now. I will try to focus on my job for now. Thank you for taking the time to answer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:17 PM
1

I thought my friends that didn't want to get married were too apprehensive. Now I understand them completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:10 PM
5

Thank you both for taking the time to answer. I'm glad to read you're fulfilled on your own, I'm getting there as well :') I also have an illness, it makes me have bouts of mental and physical weakness. I realized that not only a bad relationship can't give you the support you need but it even makes the illness ten times WORSE. Typically, he left me for this and I'm glad. That above is the thing that makes me wary of letting someone else in my life that way again. I like to feel healthy or at le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:06 PM
3

Thank you for taking the time to answer. The more I meet '''potential candidates''', the more dissapointed I am. Most of them just talk to you because they want sex or talk about themselves, not out of wanting to know who you are as a person. Even the ones that act right have an agenda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:52 PM
1

Thank you for taking the time to answer. I wish more men thought of that arrangement where I live, but I'm guessing the ones that do in my country, do so out of laziness or fear of intimacy rather than practicality or making the other person comfortable. :( I'm aware that's how things work. I'm not very skilled at cooking, I don't have a lot of experience so when I was expected to learn at light speed on top of other stuff, it made me feel awful. I like cooking just not being pressured to it. No…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter