Years ago in my early twenties, I started actually dating men irl instead of online exchanges that end in nothing.

All of those dates that lead to no relationship or actual relationships that end miserably, I always blamed myself. I blamed myself for not being good enough, or for being too good, or for believing the lies, or for letting them abuse me.

Today I'm going through a breakup after a long term relationship, and I for the first time ever I'm not blaming myself, yes I ignored red flags at the beginning, and I was way too good and forgiving for him. But he's the one who mistreated and hurt me. It's not a problem with me, it's a problem with him.

Today I know I'm good enough for him and for anyone else, heck I'm good enough to be my own lover because I am that good. I'm not a problem or a drama seeker, I'm not acting up or starting problems over "silly things". That was all his game to make me feel guilty, which I kept calling out again and again until he couldn't play it anymore and left.

I know I have so much to work on myself, but it was never my fault that I trusted someone or had feelings for them.