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haunted_vcr Archive

View 10 posts and 421 comments by haunted_vcr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

This! Their gross mug should get plastered on all the local newscasts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:55 AM
40

Hm a literal human shaped parasite. Let's take a guess for who puts money into the checking account from which their food bills get paid. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:54 AM
6

Of course he is an ass... Increasing their pay??? He owed them covering literally every cent of the cost for the child and care for the mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:52 AM
7

Inspiring!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:50 AM
44

You are the love story. What really helped my healing was going and doing literally everything that a guy had let me down on, and doing it right. I took myself to the restaurants, bought myself the gifts, got a "special" toy that can go for an hour, and outdid their accomplishments by miles. I can honestly say I'm a million times cooler than any of my exes. You have to get to the point where you respect yourself so much that you don't put dusties on a pedestal. To begin, allow yourself to turn t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:48 AM
15

👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:43 AM
44

Love this! The best guys I've been with treated making me orgasm as a serious job and always looked for ways to improve. They also didn't stop just cause I came once, and that's how I learned the second (or third) time is usually way better. 😏 If a guy doesn't put in effort to make it happen every time drop him hahaha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:42 AM
43

Hm different people needing different things? Groundbreaking! </s>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:33 AM
644

He did not get her off 3 times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:37 PM
16

I think people are as capable of seeing things for what they are as their own level of development allows them to be. People also like to be seen as nice so they can avoid "taking sides" and try to see it from "both perspectives" 😆. If a friend does this, you have learned volumes about where they're at. Doesn't mean they're a bad friend or you have to stop being friends, but adjust accordingly. Sure you can go get brunch, or hike, or whatever. Don't lean on them for support in emotional issues a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:30 PM
11

Oh this is too accurate. When I did a big cleanup of the people in my life a few years ago, my health greatly improved. Some symptoms I noticed were: crippling anxiety: weight loss, grey hairs sprouting (in my very early 20s), skin trouble (despite an amazing skincare routine), crying spells, brain fog feeling criticized and berated: resentment, anger, passive aggressive acting out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:15 PM
1

Negging, and thinly veiled annoyance that you aren't putting on your happy customer service face and providing them with emotional labor. The guys who have told me this have dumped their issues on me (but of course shut me down when I talk about mine). They also praise other women (to you, triangulation) for being upbeat and a joy to be around. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:10 PM
8

I think there can be above board, close HV friendships between men and women. Should these friends ever take priority over or have more intimacy than a spouse? No! That doesn't happen with close same sex friendships. Also true opposite gender friendships are incredibly rare. If you get the vibe they want to bone, they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:48 AM
9

So happy to see young women level up! 👑👑👑 Most women have their teens and 20s wasted by dusties, let's change that, the world is our oyster!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:36 AM
8

Sweet. Baby. Jesus. The biggest LVMs I have ever run across have been into RPGs (and games in general, bite me lol). I think these appeal to them so much because they're aware they suck and they want to be powerful and cool for an evening. The ones into DMing are the most deviant of the bunch - they get a power trip seeing their bros enjoy the fantasies they put together and admire them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:30 AM
23

They project that we hate them when all we do is bring up critical issues. The horrible secret is they hate us so they presume we do too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:26 AM
34

Yes! Other movements have actually raised this point explicitly, it's not fair to put the burden of educating on the oppressed group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:22 AM
30

Direct isn't the same thing as asshole, but he missed the memo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:21 AM
28

This is amazing, thank you for writing it up. I relate so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:12 PM
98

Guys getting hall passes for bad behavior (fighting, being loud, being messy, irresponsible) in school, while getting massive punishments for any of that as a girl. I sometimes purposely behaved as badly as I could just to prove the point, even though it was maladaptive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:08 PM
3

😰😱🤢 you have Shakespearean talents and they are frightening hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:31 AM
2

Now that's a post covid fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:33 AM
4

Sis! 🤣🤣🤣 You got me good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:15 AM
17

"We accept into ourselves the treatment we think we deserve" - can someone please get you a podium, this is gold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:12 AM
21

🤣😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:06 AM
11

He's punishing her for having expectations and standards. 20k for supposedly a lifetime investment is nothing. That's the price of an economy vehicle, or a few months of rent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:05 AM
17

This is great. I've ended a couple of involvements where the guy acted entitled to me "working through" things, and blamed his failure to perform the basics to his "lack of relationship experience". I think we learn the majority of what we need to be a decent person to others in childhood. Being considerate and putting in effort isn't rocket science.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:04 AM
13

I think raising either gender child is a huge challenge, but I do think kids follow examples. If you lead your life in a HV way, choose a HVM partner to be a good role model, and surround your family with HV people, they'll naturally develop a strong character. This is a huge reason to level up and become someone you are proud of. I personally have a fair amount of self work before I'd feel comfortable knowing a small human is copying my every move. I need to do that work anyway for myself thoug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:56 AM
47

The smartest people I've met put their energy into lifting others up, not making them feel inferior. The best doesn't need to compete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:49 AM
17

Begin with the end in mind - the 7 habits dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:46 AM
5

He says "I decided to get engaged" like most people day "I decided to go to the movies" 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:05 PM
6

😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:42 PM
6

This is a cry for help 🤦the lies aren't sticking like they used to and sis is hella bothered
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:43 PM
7

Bet he's got zero problems liking scantily clothed photos of randos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:41 PM
8

There are some Indian HVM - a childhood friend of mine treats his dates very generously and is all around an upstanding dude. That being said, there is a lot of cultural programming that increases the likelihood of LV behavior from certain groups. The funniest is the combo of how they're stingy with women but utterly obsessed with expensive stuff for themselves - cars, phones, accessories, travel. I understand frugality and am practical myself, and this discrepancy shows it's not about financial…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:37 PM
31

This strategy is so good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:44 AM
15

Smashed lights? You aren't safe. You might want to add that to the original post so others can help point you to some abuse survivor resources.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:41 AM
36

Having standards and refusing to tolerate disrespect isn't misandry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:41 AM
20

Last I checked the hourly rate for a therapist is a couple hundred. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:40 AM
5

I'd be careful. Some sick puppies get excited by the challenge and want to see what it takes to "break you down". I do not advocate hoeing it up, but some degree of physicality is good for weeding out the ones who get bored once they "have you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:39 AM
192

Competency is attractive, and is a deep character trait. Resources just normally go along with that 🤷‍♀️ kinda like how a nice waist to hip ratio is indicative of ability to bear healthy children right 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:47 AM
70

Yup, this is why it's important never to talk at them about what your standards and expectations are. You're giving them cheat codes for how to pose as a decent guy for a few weeks or months. Let them lead, it's very revealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:49 AM
10

This sounds so awful. Tell all your friends and family about his creepiness (unless they're the type to report back to him). They can help watch out for you. Try and see if you can get a restraining order. If you are scared to block him, at least change the settings on your social media so he can't see what you're doing, where you're at, and whom you're with. After you finish your studies, maybe consider moving for job opportunities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:02 PM
16

Congrats on your business!! 👑 Queen energy. I think when people underplay your big accomplishments and celebrate the baby factory regime, it's because they themselves aren't the achieving type so they don't get that a business is basically like birthing a baby lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:53 AM
130

This is uncanny. Often a guy will point out the things his mother is/was unhappy with in her relationship, sympathizing with her and doing extra as a son to make it better - only to do the exact same to you. I used to think it's a next level lack of object permanence, an inability to introspect, but it's way more sinister. They had role models for how to successfully take advantage of a woman and often keep her around. It takes great strength to overcome initial programming, and few people choos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:39 AM
3

This is great. Here's a similar strategy that has always worked for me when I'm waffling - write two lists side by side, "what I like/don't like about him". Stare that "what I like" list down very carefully and be honest about which items you realize are not true, then cross them out. It's so easy to get caught up in a fantasy. Look at it again and decide how valuable the remaining items are - often pretty frivolous. Then look at the "don't like" list and ask yourself how it will feel to put wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:04 AM
1

Silence - Delerium ft Sarah McLachlan
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:54 AM
7

Prioritize your health, finances, and enjoying your life. Level up your career or business, get clear on how much money you need to have what you want. Explore things you find interesting, no matter how minor or frivolous they seem. Tend to your mutual relationships, like close family and friends - really make sure these people have your best interests at heart always. Guys are an optional add-on. If you run into a great one, awesome. If some dusty is stressing you out, drop him and block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:15 AM
3

Let's make it "if he was capable, he would". Do top firms stress about whether a crappy interviewee wants to work there? No, they mark them as below the hiring bar, move on, and maybe have a firm chat with the recruitment and PR departments if the candidates keep sucking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:19 AM
3

Some guys on OLD prod me about my ethnicity and every time they're a creep. It can be disguised as 'which languages do you speak'. In America at least, they're usually hunting for immigrant or first gen women from certain nationalities that they think are easier to manipulate because the "culture" says women there are more "subservient". I normally block, if I'm upset enough I report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:22 PM
124

If a dude isn't doing all 5, you know what to do 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:12 PM
28

You are on your way to becoming beautiful, powerful, and inspiring. We get into these horrible situations because we don't imagine another human being would want to be such a POS. None of this was your fault. You bet he's out there making other women (including the ones he cheated on you with) feel absolutely awful. The trash took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:50 PM
299

Being stingy is code for: I don't care about your emotional needs I don't respect you you're a decent placeholder till my dream girl™ comes along I know I'm not that smart/driven so I will never have enough money for my dreams, let alone to treat you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:31 PM
183

He's fishing for sympathy and looking to recruit mutual connections to pressure her to give him another chance. If he meant it he'd be chasing her down with concrete plans and intentions and wouldn't waste a second on social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:27 PM
4

Let's normalize attentive fathers with nice physiques. Those 6 pack abs come in great for chasing after and carrying around kids. Honestly most new parents should be drinking green smoothies like Iron Man, not alcohol 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:23 PM
5

There's a grain of truth to this, but be careful - some of the biggest love bombers will blow. up. your. phone. They'll expect instant responses, and they're not so much texting you quickly because they're so into you but to lull you into a false sense of intimacy. Some of them can be very controlling. I think boundaries and personal space are very important when in the courting stage, this goes for both sides. Consistency in communication is very important, and dropping off the face of the eart…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:09 AM
20

An addendum to the future faking - they will make off handed remarks about how they'd love to do X with you (where X ranges from simple to high effort)... but when you express interest in making it concrete they back off. They want you to get all romanced up in the ideas without them putting in effort or $$. If you push for X or call them out on this behavior they get very uncomfortable - run when you see this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:52 AM
47

The guys who are the biggest jerks/creepers complain about male oppression the loudest. Normal guys aren't threatened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:40 AM
2

Yes a million times over! This is a beautiful post. ❤️ I felt so powerless before I let myself feel and show the normal human emotion of anger. And I've improved my life a ton since. Watch the scared pooches run!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:54 AM
44

Yes! It's not a hit to your ego. The fact they went in to use you knowing full well they wouldn't give you what you needed or deserved speaks volumes about their character. And they know before you even speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:50 AM
6

Never ever answer those types of questions. I hide where I work until I've known the person for a long time, or they've been vetted by my social network. I treat those questions as a red flag and do not state that I'm uncomfortable or react at all. I just seek a fast way to exit and ensure they have no way or contacting me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:46 AM
2

Your mom sounds like a great role model.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:26 PM
291

The real NVMs complain that you're making them feel bad by calling out their terrible actions. Yeah duh, they should feel bad. But they're allergic to being a decent human being. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:24 PM
26

Some animes can be great, just like any TV show, but the majority of the guys who are religiously into it to the exclusion of other genres are huge weirdos. Don't care if this is an unpopular opinion, but bonus creeper points of the guys are white.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:20 PM
9

Yeah I've had to manually train myself out of the niceness instinct. It doesn't lead anywhere good. Now when I get strange men making passes at me that I did not green light, I make sure to stare them down looking very confused This reverses the discomfort onto them and they do not take it well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:19 PM
24

You never even have to get sexual to vet for this. Watch how he responds to your nonverbal cues of discomfort about anything about else - maybe you're cold in a restaurant, or don't like your food, or you're tired and want to leave earlier. Does he pick up on this and fix the situation? Or does he plow ahead talking about dumb things? Also see how he responds to a clear no - maybe you turn down an activity you aren't interested in, or you're busy on a given day. Is he pushy or whiny? Drop him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:16 PM
14

Argh she doesn't even like this guy, why go to all that trouble to have an awful day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:13 PM
13

This woman is bomb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:50 PM
30

At the end of a first date, the guy asked me to come over for dinner for the second date. I said no thanks, I'd like to go somewhere public out of concern for my safety. He ignored that and tried to plant a smooch on me 🚩He never called me to set up a second date. I was disappointed at the time, but the audacity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:45 PM
70

They're attracted to how older women look, but they're terrified of their intelligence and zero tolerance for bs. I've heard creeps say they want to date a woman who is pure and hasn't been damaged yet. Yet! Their expectation is for a woman is to get damaged because that's what they set out to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:52 AM
22

Happy birthday 🎉🥳 Self respect is life changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:42 AM
36

basics.jpg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:39 AM
3

Translation is he doesn't want any part of being married. The fact that she's asking him resentful questions shows she understands he's an unfit candidate but can't pull the trigger on bouncing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:39 PM
5

Hm.. Dr. House. The show is amazing and the actor is great, but his character is arrogant and would be terrifying to have as your real physician.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:36 PM
12

One way to see what your physical standards are is to remember times when you've been attracted to someone at first sight or just one conversation. Also people you've aesthetically admired, like couldn't stop thinking about how elegant their posture is and the like. For me it's guys who are tall, slim and toned, with dark hair and light eyes. They also have a sense of kindness, attention to detail, and an air of quiet confidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:28 PM
6

Wait he absolutely can't be serious right? Someone tell me this is a sarcastic video? 😰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:58 PM
3

Oh boy: "dark sense of humor" (depraved) thinks cats are judgy (hates defenseless creatures) push limits (abusive) equal (he won't pay for your Applebee's date) good to have around in bad situations (takes advantage of vulnerable people) doesn't take herself seriously (manipulator) kinky (even more depraved) but other people won't know (will gaslight you and no one will believe you... will isolate you from your support network)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:14 PM
3

My analytical skills are fire. If something doesn't make sense to me after a bit of research, that's usually cause it's bullshit 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:04 PM
3

So this pedophile "boyfriend", is he at least coughing up 200k for private school tuition and a fully paid condo entirely in her name?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:02 PM
13

I'm pretty af and withholding feedback pleases me. Why should they get relationship coaching if I'm leaving?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:00 PM
5

Hahaha what stone is this 😂🤣😂 Harry Scrotter and the Walmart Stone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:58 PM
4

I used to be so perplexed by guys saying "you must be so smart/you're way smarter than me" whenever they found out what I do for a living or where I went to school... even if they have comparable levels of prestige. It's not a compliment. They're checking to see if you speak down about your accomplishments. These days I see it as patronizing and try to get out of there asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:43 PM
13

Yes HVM is character! That being said, with great character tends to come great success in all areas of life including financial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:32 PM
36

Changing mindsets and beliefs that society has brainwashed you into since birth is a mammoth effort. You aren't slipping, you are seeing where the remnants of your problems are. This is how we learn. Shaming yourself makes it harder. I think there's a lot of talk about LVW on here because we are trying to normalize self respect and because we have all been there. Do something that makes you feel good today - a walk, call a friend, dance, anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:30 PM
4

Wow you listed the bare minimum and he curved 🙄 My basic standard is someone who is as successful, fit, and kind as me, and is willing and capable of investing into a relationship. People seem to think a guy with the first two qualifications would be a chad f-boi who can have "whoever he wants"... the funny thing is that means so can I.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:57 PM
4

In the world of software development, we'd say pipe that shit to /dev/null 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:47 AM
15

👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:45 AM
18

Great points. You never have to answer anything you don't want to, and if someone is being pushy, that's a red flag. In fact, you don't have to answer things you ask. Whether the other person chooses to proceed is their prerogative, but any HVM knows dating is far more dangerous for women and won't make a fuss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:11 AM
121

Excellent stance. Feedback is a privilege. Most people are an uninformed (even if well meaning) peanut gallery. Usually we know what needs to be done and are just procrastinating on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:08 AM
2

❤️ The thing about wanting more is we usually get it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:25 PM
5

Yes 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:44 AM
5

Liberal feminism is voluntary oppression. It's gaslighting and severe emotional abuse but at a societal level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:24 PM
23

The most telling thing is this feeling of unease, like they're constantly trying to push you into something. Also your mental 'clock cycles' being hogged up by minute details of interactions with them. I used to mistake that for excitement, but it is anxiety and a massive red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:02 PM
6

Ooh great question. My standard for am engagement ring is solitaire diamond (~vvs1 at worst), 1ct, platinum band. You can easily get a good one for under 20k. I'm of the opinion that if a dude can afford a car and monthly rent/mortgage, he can afford a ring. Proposal should be in a well planned, meaningful destination - city, nature, etc. It should also be private, no grandiose photo op or spotlight bs, since there should be no pressure. It should also be done after a clear discussion of what ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:13 PM
9

Yup, a person's character is a huge part of attraction. Takes a while to vet for it and some nefarious types are great at masking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:08 PM
4

You'll be way more lonely surrounded by people who don't have your best interests at heart than on your own. When you distance from things that no longer work for you, you create space for new ones that do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:57 PM
35

Less attractive men are resentful toward women and attractive men. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I've found a direct correlation between attractiveness, self confidence, and how well a guy treats you. The sad thing is it's not even hard to be physically attractive - work out, eat well, shower, and wear clothes that fit. You have to do those things anyway to function optimally, and the payoff is enormous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:55 PM
1

Nah, only users have this, it means they were in it for the lust and don't care about the person. My ex-bfs have never acted this way. In a messed up way, the good thing is if you didn't pick up red flags earlier, this is a massive "get out" banner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:30 PM
2

Hahaha yeah, I think it's cause they want to be right >>> solve issues. One takes effort and doesn't stroke their ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 05:08 PM
5

I say let yourself be angry. Let yourself think the "bad thoughts", be judgemental, be discerning. Our society polices women's thoughts and emotions. We are always expected to be nice and polite and positive... Which is great in moderation. The world has amazing guys, and total POS. If you repress the dark stuff, you cannot learn and move forward in an authentic way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:22 AM
228

From engagement to marriage takes time. 10 months isn't crazy, in fact in my culture if it isn't clear after a year, the advice is generally to get out. I highly recommend you read up on and get a consultation (by yourself) on family law. It's good to understand the legal and financial implications to you. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst always. Congrats to you and wish you happiness :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:18 AM
10

People hate to take sides because they're often still conditioned to go along with a shitty status quo 😔 if you want an explanation on why they won't take your side, look at what they put up with in their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:15 AM
1

Good on you for seeing through that bs and leveling up. It's hard but so worthwhile. These types follow a playbook, you can predict all of their moves. Never take it personally, that's their low self esteem, they're the sad crabs pulling down other crabs trying to get out of the pot lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:13 AM
9

Dude the second I see a guy has photos of himself modeling someone else's baby like a Chanel bag accessory... I run away. Their clock is ticking and they'll act romantic to swindle you into being an incubator. Nuh uh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:07 AM
3

I think some things can be serious and HVM are capable of prioritizing us... that being said, the vast majority are clowns and entertainment at best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:05 AM
6

The truth is men find female anger terrifying. I rarely get pissed, but when I do, whoever it is runs away like a soggy pooch with their tail between their legs. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:02 AM
6

Great point. Gaslighting isn't a pro move, they've just 1984'd the art of doublethink and have already convinced themselves. I feel like I'm talking to a Trojan horse infested computer when this happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:57 AM
4

Yes this is awesome! 👑 Love this energy. I'm totally proud of myself every day :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:47 AM
18

LVM are insecure swamp creatures 😂 I've had guys neg my education and job, both of which are prestigious af. Notably, the ones who are doing as well as me or better are encouraging and respectful. We all start in different places, and there are many ways to be successful, so I'm not measuring by arbitrary metric like paycheck, but what a person clearly built in their life with what hand they were dealt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 08:38 AM
12

Hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:55 AM
20

Some people get off on intimidating others. They target those who are polite and kind... Best bet is complete silence and run. Keep your phone close to dial 911.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:53 AM
42

Hit them with "my grandpa makes the same joke!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:49 AM
58

Even reading this gave me the creeps... Glad you're ok. That's a pernicious mix of "passive" (dialed in to look unthreatening) combined with seriously testing your boundaries! I can't believe he kept asking where you live. Guys with serious intentions do not drink before a date. That's about as acceptable as getting a drunk before a job interview. Also what, housemate at 38 years old? How broke is that fool...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:47 AM
26

Imo this happens for two reasons - they like "low maintenance girl next door" and... usually we look younger without makeup and professional clothes 😳 I still get guys asking me where I go to school or what I'm studying as an opener (right when I'm hoping they're a nice reasonable 30s dude... so they have no problems hitting on someone they think is 10 years younger than my age).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:55 AM
3

Glad it was helpful 😊 I've had mostly awesome experiences with mentors, and work in a niche STEM field so all of them have been male. I have also had a couple of poor experiences, it really depends on the person, so you need discernment. It sounds like you are quite able to critically judge whether someone adds value to your life so I wouldn't be worried about male mentors unless there is a concrete reason (more on that in a bit). A couple of my male colleagues were instrumental to my growth. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:57 AM
31

This is awesome 😎 You're already way ahead of the curve for 23, but some advice I wish I got then: interview every year. Doesn't mean you have to switch jobs, but know your opportunities and market value find varied, successful mentors for areas you want to grow in (can be a senior staff member at work, or maybe a very financially educated friend) invest in building a social life. Doesn't mean going out 3 nights a week and having insta worthy brunch, just get to know HV people whom you can learn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:28 PM
18

Great point, taking responsibility for your growth and healing is 👑👑👑. Fact is no one else can fix it, and it's not fair to push the blame on innocent parties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:21 PM
2

Employment is at will and you can get all sorts of cool stuff like money and self actualization. Sometimes even free food 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:41 AM
36

Same, I could not find the words for this earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 10:01 PM
30

People can only respect you as much as they respect themselves, and sometimes that is abysmally little.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:40 PM
1

Survey your own inner voice, you catch these things early. Mine tends to whisper "🙄 this is unimpressive" progressively louder. It's never been wrong, I just sometimes waste time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:43 PM
2

👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:37 PM
2

HVM think FDS is common sense and are unbothered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:35 PM
3

I used to communicate my standards, but now I'm of the opinion that's giving a book of cheat codes to LVM. They'll lovebomb you and do what they think you want, and then they'll revert to what they would do anyway. I prefer to save my time and see their real selves upfront - which is very easy if you listen more than you talk and observe their actions. PS they don't actually read our descriptions, they swipe if they like the pictures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 07:24 PM
3

He only got 3 years 8 months for murder?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:59 PM
1

Block and delete. This guy doesn't respect you or the other woman. He has zero interest in being a boyfriend, he just wants narcissistic supply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:47 PM
36

It's not a debate, they are just salty and entitled. "How dare you have standards?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:48 PM
50

This is infuriating, along with the whole trope of how "guys mature slower", "he was inexperienced", and "you should date someone older because they've grown out of X". Truth is, people adjust behavior according to expectations so we create monsters by giving hall passes. If someone has great character, they have it for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:13 AM
7

50/50 is the guy signaling he is uninterested and rude. Thank you next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 07:57 PM
10

Great advice. And yes having boundaries and being careful with your dating life is toxic mhmm 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 07:04 PM
1

If they avoid you they're signaling they're not into you, which is their prerogative. At that point it's easy to get over them, how can you keep liking someone who doesn't like you? As for the pretending, yup, that can be nefarious. If you stay grounded and don't fantasize, reality comes out. No one can pretend for long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:50 PM
3

No no no. My best relationships and date experiences happened to be with more attractive men. I have a theory that it's because they are more personally secure. Attractive guys don't look for validation, they like and respect themselves, which shows in how they take care of their bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:16 PM
7

The podcast is so fun and thought provoking. That Disney princess one was eye opening and hilarious. The hosts have an awesome energy, and I like how they dig deep into analyzing the topics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:55 PM
3

Self respect is a skill. Some people gain it later in life, some never. Keep it as a reminder that you set your standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:49 PM
3

Great points. As an addendum, if you really can't stop thinking about it, get to know him. My rosy goggles tend to fall off fast once I'm not longer in fantasy mode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:47 PM
12

How is this not a felony?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:30 PM
6

Those are their cope support groups. They feel bad, they know they're in an unworkable situation, but they can't pull the trigger and go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:19 PM
1

Laugh at the haters as you sip tea in your library.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:15 PM
12

Oh my god a milkshake?? That's hilarious, but you've reported him to the authorities right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:08 PM
22

If they rush to reject you after you turned them down, you dodged a bullet of insecurity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:06 PM
69

Watch him end up alone in his shack while she gets with a new guy who gives her a platinum diamond ring worth 100x that 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:14 PM
3

Sending paragraphs after you block is the creepiest. "I can't take rejection even if I brought it upon myself, so let me give your self esteem a huge beating to make myself feel better".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:08 PM
43

These same idiots also say they don't like women in STEM because they're high maintenance, bitchy, or somehow "not as good looking" 😂 misogynists will always find a way to say they don't like women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 07:59 AM
16

"Sir that isn't a table, it's an upside down cardboard box"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:59 PM
2

Oh I love this YouTuber, her expressions are everything. "Pig in a wig" "that whole bird"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:36 PM
14

😍 Dr Spencer Reid!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:35 PM
9

You can literally go with them to the clinic, ask then to show you the test result envelope and read through it. That's one of my date requests when I consider getting serious with a guy 😂 quality guys appreciate it, even if they're taken aback at first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:51 PM
9

Male version of me 😜 aka crazy high IQ, successful, hot, fit, and most importantly kind hearted. Mwahaha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:27 AM
2

Yeah thank you for putting the words to this feeling :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:28 PM
2

Your story is inspiring! 👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:06 PM
42

Concur. That being said, a person can do all of those things "right" and still be LV - by dodging responsibility and "business talking" loops around you. I've had guys accuse me of contempt, mockery, and stonewalling when I've called out specific things and refused to back down. They can look like they are fighting fair when they should not be fighting at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:19 PM
141

Yeah they heard you the first time, they just bet on your feeling too uncomfortable to call it out. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:28 PM
8

666 baby 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:50 AM
1

Hahaha I got reported to reddit care so much I had to mute reddit care. 😳 Always for the silliest posts too! Take it as a sign you're on the right path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:48 AM
20

Any guy will text you until their thumbs bleed, because they like the attention. Very rarely is it because they're considering your feelings. I'm a huge fan of expensive dates and gifts. Dating should be fun, and a lack of these gives away the most obvious time wasters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:45 AM
15

If they like you more when you like then less, they're LVM. HVM don't see feminism or FDS as man hating, because we don't hate men. We hate LV behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:28 AM
2

He was never your friend. The guy is a sick asshole. Your other friend isn't exactly a friend either if she doesn't see the problem... Unless she's stuck deep in pickme mindset, but if so, you really don't need her around. You deserve gifts and a great birthday, and being taken care of when you are unwell rather than being assaulted and used. The trash took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:12 PM
4

Yeah there is this pernicious group of LVM who are huge copycats. I've seen them pick up my habits, preferences, phrases, and hangout spots and continue even after I leave. I'm convinced they don't like us, they want to be us. Kinda like the dude from Silence of the Lambs, wear our skin and all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:05 PM
26

I went on a date with a guy when I was 19 and he kept running ahead of me like an idiotic mountain goat. Mind you my walking pace is most people's jog, outpacing me takes serious effort. I never called him back, but at the time couldn't find the words to describe why his behavior bothered me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:46 PM
3

Oh my god I'm sorry that sounds horrific 😞 please look into calling the police. I got jumped a while back and they came to survey the area. Also don't wear earbuds when walking. Seriously a life saver sometimes so creepers can't sneak up on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:31 PM
14

Concur, the system sucks and we are the very early stages of improving it. I hope in hundred years from now women will think the status quo is as ridiculously outdated as being unable to vote. Not dishing out fake positivity koolaid by saying we are guaranteed to meet a great partner, but at least we know what one is, and when to walk. My older self has way more of a chance than my younger clueless self did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:41 AM
19

Preach! 👏👏👏 Their used car salesman tactics are never about you. It shows they know how to act right, they just don't want to. They bet on trapping a woman with low self esteem. This hit me like a ton of bricks a couple years ago. I genuinely thought I needed to "try harder" and "work at things" but turns out all I needed was better discernment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:29 AM
4

Congratulations! 🥂 Your life is already improving. Don't stress the haters, you can't take everyone with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:16 AM
14

Your options are limited by your beliefs of what you can have. And bad beliefs are only corrected with experience. The older you get the better chance you have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:14 AM
11

Perfect eh? "8 years 4 months" is a very very resentful phrase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:09 AM
10

This is so true. I would add the most important part of giving yourself closure is making sure you do not take responsibility for their actions, but you do acknowledge yours. Also coming up with concrete strategies for how to not do the counterproductive actions in the future. The biggest ones for me are always thinking about how I chose a particular romantic interest. 99% of your mistakes are in there, guarantee it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:21 PM
4

There is never any reason for them to hold your phone, even homeless people have one nowdays. For very new interests: Use a really shortened and nondescript form of your name and a burner phone number. Do not tell them where you work/study (and especially not where you live). Your exact company or university is of zero interest to HVM, they just want to know what you're passionate about. Don't let them walk you to your car, they should not know your license plate. If they refuse to comply with a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:09 AM
43

Yup, and set all your profiles to private. Ideally none of your pictures show up unless someone is on your friend list. Be very liberal with rejecting friend requests. Also be careful about your friends tagging you, make sure you review all tags (auto hide).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:58 AM
11

We were all there and felt that way. It's part of the process. I used to have nights I couldn't sleep because of the shame of my choices. Thing is, you don't beat up a toddler for not knowing how to walk when they're born. It's not fair to beat yourself up for this. You didn't choose your childhood and society sets us up to fail. We do not have anything close to equality yet. Those of us who overcame it deprogrammed the bullshit. You still have your now and your future, and you have a long way t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:47 AM
2

^ thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:43 PM
2

This is their problem, use it as a filter. Other confident women won't see you as a threat, they'll be glad to see a potential friend. Aside, the ones who are scared of you stealing their partners overestimate the market value of said partners. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:33 PM
18

People like that are nice to strangers and acquaintances because it's easy and doesn't require them to go out of their way. They enjoy the brownie points for their "good person" image. They want a hot, meek cardboard cutout SO to provide them with status and adoration from strangers and those they deem as "better" than them. Who doesn't want something for nothing? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:17 PM
3

Handbook worthy! 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:44 PM
62

LVMs do not make good friends. You need to ask yourself why you are male friend searching in the first place. It can happen, but 99/100 times they think something very different is on offer. My only male friends are from school and work. The guy you described is rude and pushed your boundaries. Also for your safety, do not meet guys for the first time in any capacity at a park. Choose a public place like a restaurant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:16 PM
15

For FDS teachings to click, you must first acknowledge what you have been doing and thinking so far has not been working and will never lead to the results you want. How often have you seen anyone admit they're wrong about even the smallest things? Humans clutch onto their beliefs as an identity. Trusting in FDS takes massive self belief. I understand being frustrated by your friends partaking in views that actively hurt them, because all you want to do is help. However you must respect them and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:08 PM
17

Marriage has a lot of legal benefits for both parties, presuming your partner is HVM. LVM are a liability. Look into family law and prenups - they can be structured in a way to protect the woman. You can get consultations from marital lawyers even when you are single, and it's a mammoth effort to understand all the ins and outs. Start early. And if course vet the guy like your life depends on it, cause it does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:00 PM
22

If a guy tests your boundaries, they do not respect you. If you see them doing a cost benefit analysis to extract maximum value from you with minimum investment, they are a user. There are happy, non anxious butterflies. HVM are rare, HVM who are compatible with you are even rarer. You may have not met one yet and that's OK, keep your standards high. Being available when you do meet one is much better than being distracted by LVM and missing out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 05:53 PM
7

😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:38 AM
161

HVM is about character. HVM respect themselves a lot, and they extend that same care to women in their lives - family, romantic, platonic, and professional. Part of self respect is self actualization. That can take a lot of different forms, but it's ultimately about being the best version of yourself. A fat wallet means nothing without good character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:48 PM
3

Concur. Meeting any "elistist" benchmark is far easier than being HVX. You are always well within your rights to accept only someone good as you as a partner. If you did it with odds stacked against you, they should easily be able to do it with the odds in their favor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 10:58 PM
6

Thanks :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 09:13 PM
5

Hahahahaha that was great
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:56 AM
184

The ability to feel hot and confident when not caring what anyone thinks is everything ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:52 AM
43

Maybe she wouldn't be depressed if this wasn't a LVM 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:59 AM
42

Worst thing I've ever done was buy a guy a plant for his birthday when I was a teen... he uh, was not into me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:57 AM
18

😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:56 AM
59

Put that into stocks 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:55 AM
11

Yupp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:53 AM
15

Hnggg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:51 AM
9

They find someone who is better at settling than you are, because that is how hard they're settling. If they wanted to change, they would. After all many FDSers started out as pickme's who had a series of rude awakenings. We woke up because we have a vision of a better life. LVMs have a limited capacity to set goals or dream big. Their holy grail is to finally feel good enough and they try to satisfy it through validation - nice things, attention, importance. When they get it, they are still unh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:36 PM
5

Noo don't advise them on how to better cover their red flags. Feedback is a privilege!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:11 PM
23

Yup, I've done this in the past and it never works. If you have to tell him how to treat you, you'll be telling him when you're 60 😂 somehow the good guys just do the right stuff automatically and you don't even have to ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:09 PM
7

You can expect a conversation with them to go over about as well as with a hippo 😂 There's closure in that - they're incapable of basic critical reasoning and cause and effect linkage. Somehow all fantasies and self blame halted when I saw that. The goggles fell off and I saw for the first time just how comically unattractive they are. I was angry and a bit disgusted at myself for getting caught up in it, but that anger is good motivation for committing all the signs of being a hippo to memory. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:28 PM
7

😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:02 PM
74

Haven't you read Twilight? You're supposed to go after what hurts you 😉 </s>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:56 AM
6

Totally agree - closure is when you 100% give up hope they they will fix something or help you feel better, and take responsibility for moving on. It's truly accepting the person and situation for what they were, and not blaming yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:37 PM
3

I'm sorry this happened to you :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:05 AM
4

Hahaha yup it happens. Make a separate accounts for FDS and general use. The less cross identifying information, the safer you are. Especially no pictures, even of pets, on FDS accounts. Also for the love of all that is holy, do not tell people IRL you are on here. Some people will creep on and berate you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:58 PM
8

That's trespassing and a felony, no? Did you report the creeper?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:52 PM
24

Condescending: how dare you be better than me and be very aware of it Intimidating: your bullshit tolerance is low Stubborn: you have standards Unwilling to work things out: you know when to walk Messy: you're not bangmaid housekeeper material
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:49 PM
9

That is your cue to block and delete - since it sounds like you don't even know the guys well yet. Even business communications accept 24h 😋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:45 PM
7

Very powerful post! Can't win if you don't understand the playing field and you've described it quite eloquently. ❤️ Every time we choose to level up rather than settle we get closer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:57 AM
1

How much do you like painful paperwork? 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:25 AM
4

Bad friends won't make your loneliness better. Being alone is fine until you meet your people, guarantee it. If you have trusted people in your life like your parents or siblings, call them up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:15 PM
2

I encountered that awful phrase with only one dude ever (which is why I believed it), but the only thing he was going to do was sit around on his butt 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:09 PM
10

Not quite what I was going for - to be clear I think it's an asshole move to deride middle aged women just for a haircut and standing up for themselves in a store. At least in that sense the term had a meaning and was not used to tell women to shut up indiscriminately. These days it's no longer a tasteless epithet, but sexist hate speech.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:01 AM
1

👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 06:45 AM
9

LVMs have hijacked Karen - a very specific term for someone who wants to talk to the manager and has a wonk haircut - to tell women to shut up in completely inappropriate contexts. Watch how often they use that word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 06:31 AM
2

Easy - do you come out of any minor disagreement with them feeling invalidated, confused, belittled, or completely steamrolled over? 🚩 Are they inconsistent with words or actions? 🚩🚩 Do you get anxiety around them worse then before a big deadline? 🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 06:18 AM
2

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:36 AM
3

The paragraphs flooding your inbox after you refuse to accept subpar treatment is uncanny. It's frankly disturbing how someone can be so entitled as to expect you to stick around when they offer literally nothing of value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:34 AM
3

Concur. It's crazy how often a completely reasonable person calling out a situation for what it is (even if it's in an emotional way) gets painted as the nutcase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:29 AM
9

My best litmus test is if his actions, words, expressions, or even his aura (😂) stress me more than choosing what to wear that day, he's blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:24 AM
2

You aren't high maintenance for expecting your colleague to do his job. You think he'd mouth off like that to a male superior? Hell naw he'd be all sucking up "yes sir thank you sir". Pay him no attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:15 AM
10

Yup woke "feminist" men are atrosh, they even attempt to mansplain to you what being a woman is like. Don't beat yourself up. You mentioned your previous experiences were nothing to write home about, which unfortunately means your practical baseline is low. It takes a lot of self confidence to truly believe you deserve better even when you feel disrespected by an asshole. And all self confidence is, is practice. Promise yourself next time you see red flags, you just walk. Every time you do this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:13 AM
82

Women's success, especially when it exceeds theirs them not being the center of attention enjoying things they they don't (music, TV) small, defenseless animals having priorities that aren't them HVX in your life especially HVM who treat women better platonically than they can romantically ... My thumbs will fall off if I keep going, it's impossible for them to be happy so they take it out on everyone else
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:05 AM
29

Crushes are a valuable self analysis tool. I notice mine often have qualities I really wish were stronger in me, especially when my self belief is a little under the weather. A huge one I had was a total pro at work, so much confidence, ability, and also kindness and respect toward everyone. He did not display these in his personal life unfortunately, but I got quite hung up. It was helpful for me to see more of what I wanted to be professionally. When I'm feeling low and my self care isn't on p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 06:22 PM
2

These look bomb 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 06:05 PM
1

HVM isn't a status someone can lose. If they do, they were never HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:00 AM
4

👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:58 AM
54

Always consider what value anyone or anything is adding to your life. Remember, you are trading your time... which is priceless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:40 AM
28

You look good ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:53 PM
9

👏👑👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:27 AM
10

Volcel* thank you 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:25 AM
10

If they're your friends, you gotta respect them and what they choose to experience, hard as it may be to watch. I have noticed most people "wake up" when they reach a breaking point and they realize their current mindset isn't serving them. If they ask, you are welcome to share yours. The best way to get your point across is just to live rather then talk. When people see you have internal peace and success, and are maybe even in a truly happy HV relationship, they'll want to know how you did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:23 AM
16

There are also LVW in the world. We choose HVX.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:44 AM
23

You didn't trigger the shitty behavior. They'd do it to anyone, even their "first choice". Don't take responsibility for someone else's awful character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:37 AM
5

Fridge body I'm dying 😂 such a good expression
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:47 AM
5

The less effort, the stronger and more powerful you shall be. - a great philosopher
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:37 AM
7

People don't get angry at something unless it strikes a nerve. Also free publicity for us. Some ranter in another group is how I found this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:55 AM
13

Get it girl ;) let them be mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:26 AM
10

Good memories :) a really HV guy I dated (he was my friend for a long time beforehand so I trusted him a lot) picked me up, took me to a beautiful museum with a special art show in the evening, and a nice restaurant on the beach after. I was super excited for the date and dressed up, he held my hand the whole time and clearly just appreciated me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:33 AM
13

Here's something that works well - imagine if you met the exact male version of you - looks, success, character. You'd probably be crazy about this person right? Don't sell yourself short.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:26 AM
17

Holding your attention is a privilege, not a right :) your mental clock cycles are priceless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 07:30 AM
65

"I see you've blocked me on X. I know that means you want to be left alone, but here I am slidin' into your DMs on Y."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:43 PM
2

Yes! Talking is overrated. In my experience the people who want to cOmMmUNicAte and wOrK oN tHInGs are emotional vampires who want a forum for their excuses instead of getting off their ass and actually doing what they already know needs to be done. Surprise surprise, I've never had to "communicate" with people with whom I have mutually fulfilling relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:12 PM
89

It's quite simple really - guys like that will devalue you for asking them out, wearing certain clothes, or even breathing. They don't like women. There is no set of actions you can take that will save you from disrespect by idiots, but you can opt out of being around them when you first see it. That being said, there are great guys who will treat you well regardless of who did the asking out. You're just statistically likely to run through a lot of idiocy first. Don't take it personally and don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:02 PM
2

Yup 🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 05:54 PM
5

If he shook your hand at the end of the plane ride, he knew you were interested. That was just meant to be a "no thanks". Good on you for recognizing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:57 PM
5

Yup getting judged costs $0.00.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:56 PM
2

Hey at least you recognize you have them and they're a problem. I had some too, and after a while of really noticing them through a fresher, higher self esteem mindset, I realized they made me feel bad and I didn't want to tune in. I use them these days as a litmus test of how I'm doing. When they sprout, I know I've been scrimping on self care and boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:54 PM
13

I think it's fine to give an invitation in the form of strong flirting etc - but any guy worth dating will step up and reciprocate once it's clear you like them. And they read interest very easily. The thing with asking is you will never get turned down, you'll just get used as an ego stroke or continually have to push around a half interested marshmallow into doing the basics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:48 PM
30

Yas now that is a 👑 energy level!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:33 PM
23

Toxic positivity, that's the first time I've heard this phrase and it's so spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 10:26 PM
37

Hard pass indeed. It's not about the money at all, the really confused LVMs get hung up on it as an independent category. Money is just an obvious shorthand for how they treat any kind of investment into your relationship - time, care, respect, emotions. When they have a problem with spending, they signal they do not trust anyone and presume you're out to screw them over even when you've been nothing but kind and reliable. Often when the dude doesn't want to pay, it's just the first time you rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 10:23 PM
7

Huge red flag. Tbh these types usually aren't "dangerous" but they're just jealous as hell of anyone else in your life, especially if those people are clearly HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 10:13 PM
20

Woman: doesn't respond or say anything Man: "this is a hostile atmosphere!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:45 PM
23

You've got this. It's hard when you first start. Think of taking the right actions as a deposit in your savings account. Sure you can't have more fun now, but you are showing self love and you are investing in your future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:42 PM
6

FDS is a very special place. We are basically 300 from Sparta but for each other's emotional well being. 😉 I haven't struggled with recognizing red flags and bouncing at the sight in a few years now, but prior to finding FDS, I would beat myself up and doubt whether I did something to "cause" a dude to act poorly. I would also ruminate on failed relationships and feel sad and nostalgic Since FDS, I am more resolute with my standards, don't put anyone on a pedestal, and take 100% responsibility f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:56 AM
3

Hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:56 AM
2

Concise and true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:31 AM
9

Good on you for learning and growing. Don't beat yourself up, just keep it as motivation for not slipping again. Notice it only took you two tries to learn. Some of us take much much longer. Next time you see a red flag, walk, no questions asked. How you forgive yourself is proving to yourself you're not that pickme anymore every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:21 AM
2

Oh well indeed 😋 we are unbothered and we continue leveling up. To the moon 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:28 AM
406

"Why don't women make the first move" - I'm lazy, please cater to me. "It's too risky for me to demonstrate interest" - I'm a creep and scared women when they said or showed no. I will stalk you and if you try to leave, you'll have a bad time, I guarantee it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:43 PM
2

Oh my god shower heads hahahaha. This is terrible but he's a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:19 PM
2

Block and delete. All the people in your life must be HVX.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:18 PM
16

That book is phenomenal. FDS helps us with 3&10.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:15 PM
2

Redirect their weird questions back to the product. Do not answer unless they ask direct questions about the product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:13 PM
4

Go to the police now. You were assaulted and next time he could kill someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:06 PM
21

To extend this further, how you spend your time is the most important decision of your life. Don't let anyone waste yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:04 PM
67

Treat them like missing person cases - if they're not to be found within 48 hours, they're dead 😋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:01 PM
28

Here comes a scrote Boi be lookin' like a goat Someone get me a life boat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:57 PM
29

Dude it's even worse than that - there are the LVMs who can manage some semblance of what they call "goals", but under the hood they're a busted old honda civic. Careful and don't let a high salary or talking big blind you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:51 PM
10

Powerful words :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:46 PM
9

It terrifies them because they realize they now have to provide a value > 0 to be considered by a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:44 PM
2

Sounds like a great post, I'll check it out sometime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:47 PM
3

That book is 80 proof truth. At first it seemed over the top to me because she frames it in life and death terms and compares it to alcoholic addiction but... she's not wrong. You can in fact screw up your life by choosing wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:16 AM
6

Queen energy 👑 It's a huge mistake to think they can level up. You're always a better bet. If you see them with someone else guess what... she's better at taking shit than you are or she's about to dump his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:04 AM
3

Ohoho... Enjoy special selections from my stash she held me back academically (he will blame his issues on you) she pulled me away from my family (momma's boi) she was from a different culture (he likes then "exotic" and doesn't care about them as humans) she was a lot more serious about it than I was (he will use you) she was flaky and didn't show up (she got out early, good on her)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:02 AM
9

High value people do not humiliate you about running across LVMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:54 AM
3

Depends on your friends and whether the friendship is more about looking out for one another or putting on an image. Friendship isn't about keeping up with the Joneses and we don't get a cookie for a relationship status. My friends are HVX, and I tell them about any prospects right away. With rare exceptions, they often tell me he sucks before I can see it... They're my support network for when I'm waffling on walking away from an early red flag. Also LVMs freak out when they realize you have ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:53 AM
2

How you deal with it is you realize you are one of the extremely few who woke up. Most of us will never have that realization and you did it in the prime of your life. You forgive yourself by realizing all the odds were stacked against you and you won. You're a warrior and they can't stop you now. You are still a 10. In fact now you're off the damn charts because they don't get to measure you anymore. 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:39 AM
2

A man's opinion of FDS says a hell of a lot. Funny thing is the few HVM in my life have reactions ranging from "well it's common sense" to "seems like not a big deal". Be careful about reveling you're on here... They like to stalk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:33 AM
5

Liberal feminism is psychological self harm. It should in fact be classified as a condition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:28 AM
7

Yeah finding this place was a godsend... I felt like my own little island before. That sometimes made me doubt myself and my honest feelings and accept less than I deserve. The more women find this place the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:26 AM
8

She has to beg for sex?? Oh no no. Does she realize dick is the cheapest commodity and guys literally pay for theirs to be used?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:21 AM
8

Very spot on. Special red flag is they'll criticize and comment on their family members' choices. You bet they will do this to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:20 AM
4

Whoa this is a great way of describing it. Yeah it's insane how they make you responsible for their volatility and get angry when you refuse to comply. Great way to out them is watch how they act when you show "No" and refuse to play the game. These are the guys who try to bust down your boundaries and won't let you leave without a fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:18 AM
7

I'm Sorry (You Feel That Way) It Only Happened Once Encore (It Only Happened Once 12" Club Mix)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:13 AM
11

You rock 👑 to have realized this at 20 is to have won the damn game. I didn't wake up till 24 and my life after has been much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:08 AM
16

Watch carefully and you'll see them praising women who settle and stifle their emotions and let their dignity be taken... Because get down girl that's what they want you to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:06 AM
39

Yup it's just like a videogame. You practice, at first it's hard, and then it's one click headshot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:04 AM
3

Block and delete girl 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:02 AM
19

They don't realize how quickly this gives them away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:00 AM
41

Yup people who want something in their lives appreciate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:57 AM
4

You are so amazing for having figured this shit out at what just be your mid-late 20s at most. There are many of us who do not wake up until later. It takes queen consciousness to wake up from the BS and you're it 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:56 AM
9

If they're an asshole they'll ruin the sex. Which you'd think should be hard since humans so hardwired to like it, our survival depends on it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:53 AM
9

😂 yes to literally all of those
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:49 AM
3

Panic and moaning means you hit a nerve 😏👌 scrotes get roasts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:46 AM
42

F that guy. We move on to bigger and better things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:26 AM
7

Hey yeah glad you feel comfortable asking. I think whether you like it or not is highly personal to you. A good way to find out is with masturbating, if you like it. Sex toys (with lots of cleaning after) will help. I don't know if I'd try it with a guy for the first time ever unless he was already vetted. For me personally it feels just as good as usual and it helps with cramps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:13 AM
2

Yes 1000x over. I never had to try hard or feel obsessed around great guys. The ones who sucked though, sucked the life out of me. I notice my "tell" is I begin retail therapy and stop eating well. The second I end up with a new dress in my closet, I know I need to dump the man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:52 PM
3

Preach. My biggest problem tbh. I always see red flags and I feel unimpressed, but I start thinking wow if this guy is so low value why can't he see how great someone like me is, he should be treating me like a princess. But that's the fallacy... They cannot treat anyone like a princess because they're LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:41 PM
5

No no no your 50 year old self will hate you for the dentist bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:39 PM
1

Needed to hear this today. 👑 Yes we are always learning and growing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:28 PM
2

I'm pretty sure "poly" and other other jazzy phrase is translation for "i'm a fuccboi".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:58 PM
17

Yeah I had a guy neg me by saying that school prestige doesn't matter and that everyone else he knows who went to my university is socially inept :( i went to a highly technical super prestigious uni and am very proud of it, and he sure as heck didn't. Not that going to a less fancy uni is a bad thing, but tearing down others is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:53 PM
11

Yes!! One of my exes did this. At first I thought oh wow he likes me I'm meeting his friends then his parents... Yeah no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:26 PM
2

Good advice, thank you. Didn't know about r/FDS, I'll go check it out. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:59 PM
27

Yeah it's unfortunate but you can use it to your advantage. I know if I am even remotely interested in a guy within the first 5 minutes of meeting him in person. I know it's "rude", but I've started to play the numbers game and walk out (politely) once I realize I am not interested (which is 9/10 first dates, if not more). Also, don't dress up or put on makeup for these. Make them drive closer to where it's convenient for you (just not near your home since you don't wanna get harassed). Guys who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:29 PM
2

Thanks for recommending the video series! I really like his explanations so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:36 PM
1

Yup good thinking. I think it's alright to share with a vetted HVM partner (maybe after years) but definitely not with someone you're just dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:46 PM
1

Not sure, haven't tried it. But I really like the toys from pillow talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:50 AM
13

Yes I totally found this sub hearing it trashed in another one... And then I read FDS all evening and felt my self esteem rising. ♥️ Love this community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:08 AM
19

The trash took itself out. Ugh they made it all about them. Your publication is all about you, 👑 energy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:56 AM
24

Yeah this totally happened. I spent two years after my mindset shift feeling so angry, sad, lost, regretful at all the time I wasted and all that I put up with. I even had horrible "falling off the wagon" nights when I'd stay up ruminating over how it was really all my fault for not asserting my boundaries better, because well, maybe they treated me badly because I acted like someone who didn't deserve respect. But that time is over. I'm feeling strong and much more confident. I'm still single a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:33 AM
3

When I was 23, I flirted with an attractive guy at the grocery store. He asked me to dinner and then... Asked me if I graduated high school yet. Mhmmm. No dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 08:37 AM
3

Yeah he never wanted to meet you halfway. He just gave up when it suited him without a discussion. There was no care. Good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:51 AM
3

That's part of the vetting - if a guy doesn't plan or take initiative, he's LVM. Yupp there's a lot of them, welcome to OLD. Unmatch asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:45 PM
1

Bitch boots thigh high boundaries 😂 I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:35 PM
4

Cheating, bdsm, you not feeling safe or secure, he's a lazy gamer, ok what part of this is "good"? Girl it's okay, it's always hard to see it in the moment but you are so much better than this. You deserve way better, and you'll find it. Congrats on finding the strength to do right by you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:14 PM
1

Thanks, I love yours too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:49 PM
13

Hi Dr Jaddzia :) congrats on levelling up in more ways than one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:18 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your techniques. I really like these and need to implement and couple of them myself, especially the screentime and healthier recipes. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:07 AM
4

Omg yes!! My absolutely most horrific two experiences were with guys I initiatially had to talk myself into giving a chance to. I thought somehow they'd be nicer because they were at first, but I've never been that disrespected. Neither of them would leave me alone after we broke up either, the good old block and delete didn't stop them from keeping tabs on me through mutual acquaintances. Funny enough my nicest boyfriends were the most attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:56 AM
17

Yup, use that report button. OLD is not a walk in the park, don't ever take this nastiness to heart. Just block delete report and next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:45 AM
18

This is great news, happy to hear your manifestation is vibin'! :) 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:43 AM
4

Hahaha that's not wrong. He probably gets a lot of swipes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:53 PM
14

Hopefully she left him and will finish school successfully. Much better than becoming reliant on an emotionally abusive dude at 21.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:52 PM
2

Yup this is a great way of putting it. Communication is effort, and some people are a sunk cost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:49 PM
2

Depends on their reasoning. They might just not be interested, in which case let it be. However if they're vocal about wanting the women to approach because they're so afraid to be seen as harassers.... That's a red flag for several reasons. It's not hard to approach politely - there's a difference between saying hello and creeping. If someone can't manage the polite one, they're a creeper. If they're afraid of rejection, fair enough, but everything in life carries risk of rejection and if they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:47 PM
6

Yup for sure. The worst they can do is push back on something small that literally takes zero effort from them. That's their way of ideologically saying they don't want to, not that it's hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:42 PM
5

He can't tell how brainwashed women get about tearing men well because fish don't think about water. It just is and always was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:29 PM
4

Can we pin this comment? So accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:25 PM
8

Next time he asks for a snap, ask for screenshots of his investment accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:22 PM
2

Hmm... I like this in principle but in reality this can be much more dangerous to women. The way I feel safe using OLD is by removing personally identifying information and being super generic, and using a shortened nickname. Learned that one after some creeper slid into my social media profile after I didn't respond (with "i hope it's not creepy, but...", so he knew!) I also refuse to give my real phone number until at least 3-4 dates, and definitely don't tell them my full name or employer. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:30 AM
2

Sooo the LVM wants someone to unscrew the bottle cap 99% so he can give it a wiggle and say "look ma, I did it"? Hmm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:22 AM
4

That's a long paragraph for "my graphing calculator doesn't have enough digits to describe how long it's been since I've gotten laid".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:20 AM
2

Yeah that's a great term for it. It's messed up to call something a choice when women grow up getting brainwashed into believing this is completely normal and not some deeply deviant stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:56 AM
4

Joint accounts have their uses, but having them as the only account is a real horror. Another thing to watch out for even more, a form of serious financial abuse I watched someone I care about a lot go through (and thankfully escape) - a man asking a woman to deposit her money into his account which he /calls/ theirs but doesn't have her name on it so she cannot withdraw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:54 AM
3

Yup, single mothers are heroes. It's funny how people judge them thinking that going at it alone was ever their ideal choice, as if they hadn't given the man a million more chances than he deserved to step up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:50 AM
1

Yes very good insight about letting go of shame. It's awesome you've worked through all that. I still need to work on letting go of some of my own. These things are hard because often we think we are the only ones who were "dumb enough" to get into all that, but no, it's a lot of people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:48 AM
6

Your judgement wasn't wrong. It's unkind to yourself to not trust yourself. You knew something was off. It's your social conditioning and desire for love and companionship that made you override your "nope sis" feelings. And you are clearly self reflective and working on leveling up. Give yourself kindness and make sure you fill the need for love in your life with wholesome people and endeavors - family, friends, meaningful work and hobbies. Then you won't feel that urge to settle and override t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:43 AM
35

Preach! As a woman in STEM, I have to admit that for a profession that supposedly requires a ton of smarts, we have so many incels who cannot comprehend basic human decency. Often women in STEM positions of power get labeled as bitches, bossy, or accused of getting their position by sleeping with a man (as if that helps things) who just handed it to them. And these men never wonder if being "bitches" is what it took to fight to survive. I once had a real asshole of an engineering boss who told m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:33 AM
3

Honey be nicer to yourself, you're only 17 and the fact that you realize all these things is impressive af. I'm 27 and it didn't hit me until I was 24. Your mom sounds like she has good intentions but her advice is awful - there's nothing wrong with you and you definitely don't need to lower your standards. In fact you need to raise them and your self esteem. What really helped me was taking a break from dating. I intended for it to be 6 months, but it turned into 2 years, which were the happies…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:26 AM
3

Scandal. Counterintuitive because the lead is an other woman, but I think the story is of her rise to true power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:04 AM
6

Tbh I perused, so may have missed some details but the gist I'm getting is that he wants a cookie for not being ambitious and providing and he wants his ambitious friends and wife to lower their standards? Hm. He's entitled to living life how he wants, but he can't expect everyone else to pander to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:57 AM
12

This really depends on your motivation behind giving "wife benefits" - is it who you are, or are you trying to rush a timeline? I think it might confuse a HVM because they also need time (not a ton, but nonzero) to evaluate how good of a fit your lives together. Just because you have HVM and HVW together doesn't automatically mean they're compatible, they need shared values and goals. Realistically I think lack of these shows up fast. I don't think HVM would siphon your love and care and wife be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:48 AM
8

Look at the comments on his video, there are so many disrespectful men talking down to him without even considering his perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:35 AM
18

I had a woman acquaintance shame me once for saying I'm interested in provider men. In the same conversation, she shamed me for vetting multiple men at the same time, even though I specified I wasn't having physical relations with any of them and that I did not mislead any of them into thinking we are at an exclusive stage yet. She was dating a man who said he values his partner's earning potential above all. To be fair, he was wealthy, but you bet she was ponying 50/50 despite being a grad stud…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:31 AM
2

This is inspiring 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 08:00 AM
4

Hey, super feel your pain. I'm late 20s, and had my really bad wakeup moment 24-25. Same as you, all the other areas of my life were A+. I felt so disgusted with how I let men treat me, and so embarassed. But that's part of the problem. Society brainwashed us into letting this happen, brainwashed us into taking 100% responsibility for others' horrible actions. You think those idiots feel the pain and guilt they should? Nope, they're still out there treating women poorly. Honestly my self esteem …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:35 AM
3

Hmm that story almost makes it sound like they enjoy being the one doing the pushing :/ Good you stood up for what you want and deserve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:58 AM
1

That's totally valid, thanks for clarifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:26 AM
3

That's wonderful, and while it's true they may not be regretted, I've personally seen the emotional effects an abortion has on a dear friend, and let's just say it wasn't a cakewalk. There are feelings in addition to regret, like loss, feeling violated, your body being impinged on, and these matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:21 AM
2

This is a powerful answer to that article. The author of the article didn't delve deeply into the core of what makes FDS special - advocation for each woman's personal power and security. That doesn't encroach upon anyone else or hurt them in any way, and if it does, that's because those people were users.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 08:51 AM
48

Yuuuup. These irresponsible idiots are the same ones who push the woman to get an abortion, not realizing the potential damage that can do to the reproductive system and her mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:04 AM
9

He's off the spectrum enough to know this makes you and your other coworkers uncomfortable. I've worked with a guy like that and it was 🤮 Disabilities are a very real challenge and need to be respected, and there are plenty of disabled HVM and HVW who don't creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 06:53 PM
42

That's true, yes these are good techniques. I didn't mean to undermine the validity of your advice. I also think it's important we point out when we have to fight to assert our boundaries, the man isn't worth it because a good one doesn't stomp over them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 06:12 PM
1

I think the man should show support by abstaining from the things we have to. Lots of delicious non alcoholic options. If someone has a problem with it for only 9 months, then there are other worse problems that will crop up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:47 PM
5

Yeah that guy sounds like an emotionally abusive ass. Minimizing your needs, refusing to take responsibility, gaslighting, criticism. Focus on your needs and desires right now, reach out to family and friends, take care of yourself. 👑 And now you know the signs for next time... You only need to see them once thankfully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:40 PM
205

Honestly I don't think it's worth it to try and maintain boundaries with men like that. The first time they don't understand "no" or make a huff about it is grounds for breaking up on the spot. Otherwise it's a battle every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:26 PM
5

This is so awesome. A really balanced perspecrive. I hope to get to that point as well, there is still more healing to be done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:27 AM
48

Well put. One variant I've heard of this is guys who complain about "man bashing" and "being scared at work" due to certain very tight regulations on what they can do. Maybe I'm high strung for finding these comments bothersome, but I can't imagine any reasonable office doing something to make a man afraid of being a man... But they sure can be afraid of the consequences of harassing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:00 AM
4

This isn't a you problem and your emotional response makes sense - His inconsistent behavior makes you anxious because it makes you question his feelings for you. Which is good! You don't need to feel safe and secure around a guy who isn't 100% into you. My rule of thumb is when I feel anxious around or about a guy, that's my cue to bounce. I used to think I'm neurotic and easily attached, but I just have really good intuition and I think you do too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:08 PM
3

Yeah chronic insomnia, constantly being super underweight, and random crying spells... All that ended after the awful relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:51 PM
2

Yeah seems reasonable. I guess it depends on upbringing and when we get to start experimenting with relationships (most of us do in late teens and early 20s). I also think it takes a really really bad relationship or two to make someone consider being single as a valid lifestyle choice for an extended period of time, and thankfully we are mostly sheltered from the really scary effects of that as teens and in college (if applicable) because of the social safety nets like living with parents or in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 09:15 AM
29

Yuppp, it's basically "please lower your expectations but continue providing me with services"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:17 AM
6

What on earth is a plate?? This sounds horrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:11 AM
2

Yes queen the first step is getting out! 👑 You are so much stronger than you think. Walking away means you are stronger than the abuser. I got out when I was 24 and couldn't recognize myself either, and stayed away from dating for 2 years, just getting back into it. The difference between then and now is night and day. Lean on your family and friends, focus on your career and school, do what makes you happy. Whatever you do, don't just jump into another relationship since some guys are sharks an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:23 PM
2

So she used your friendship to get him to do the bare minimum. Hm. Bad investment. I think you gotta guard your energy around women like that after explaining why it hurts, which will hopefully help them see why it's an issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:20 PM
1

I've had my fair share of unfortunate relationships, but I guess sex is the one area where I actually didn't put up with lack of generosity. I have gotten orgasms with every guy I've dated, though some acted bitter about having to work for it... Which was my cue to dump them. It was sad I only saw it in the bedroom and not in other, even more important ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:17 PM
2

Leveling up 👑 good for you! And awesome to learn this at such a young age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:12 PM
1

Takes a real woman hater to shame a fun holiday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:10 PM
2

Yeah this is a really low value tactic. First time I saw it I was so confused and anxious, I really thought I did something wrong. The guy kept coming by but less frequently and saying 'I miss you, I never see you anymore', but he was the one not planning dates so it was insulting. I've learned to use that anxiety as a cutoff marker for when to block a guy. It might be harsh sometimes but my peace of mind is worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:09 PM
4

Yeah that means they're lining up their options 🙄 so they don't notify the "not chosen ones" when their "top pick" says yes. Then they want to circle back and ask you again when she sees his bs. You are completely right to cut that kind of behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:48 PM
1

Yes!! I think unfortunately right now it's a lesson we learn on the job in our 20s, wasting some of our best years :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:47 PM
1

Hmm... She probably needs a lot of emotional support and straight talking right now to snap out of this horrible situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:45 PM
5

I think we all go through personal experiences that convince us. For me it was completely snapping when I was 24, after a couple of extremely unfortunate relationships that negatively impacted my life. I realized I just couldn't go on that way and be healthy mentally or physically. I don't wish that upon anyone, but people need to be convinced pretty strongly in order to shake off societal conditioning. I think the best you can do is help point out harmful events that happen to other women as a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:23 PM
7

This is inspiring, thank you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:07 PM
3

Even hot guys have trouble pulling this off... But this is sacrilege lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:08 AM
3

Double standards smh... You bet if it was a woman posting that they'd be all "cOmMUnIcAte" 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:38 PM
8

You can't help those who do not want to be helped...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:17 PM
9

Queen energy 👑 yeah I think most if not all of us go through this. I remember getting out of my toxic relationship and it still hit me months and even a couple years after exactly what the impacts were. Like getting to ride my bike after work and enjoying myself instead of rushing over and worrying about catering to him. Being able to sleep in on the weekends. Not getting talked down to because I want to go out to a club and that's 'immature'. He also genuinely made me believe I'm awkward and no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:41 PM
10

You need someone who is also on that level. They're rare but so are you 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:29 AM
8

He's a virtue signaling little poser. Covid and the other events of 2020 have made me realize a lot of people's true natures - they like to act all holier than thou by latching onto certain actions while somehow dismissing being a reasonable human being
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:20 AM
10

The concept of love languages is so flawed... High value people do all of those things cause they realize it's not that hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:18 AM
7

Sensitive Stephens 😂 pure gold
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:10 AM
221

Mm yeah honestly I swipe left on anyone with "casual" in their profile. They can parrot things you want them to, but at the end of the day they didn't even try to hide their true intent. Don't waste your time asking about this stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:49 PM
1

They can't honestly be defending a guy who blackmailed his wife into doing what he wants, ruining her life... We don't sympathize with murderers and blackmailers in legal cases, why is this any different?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:17 PM
2

Oh the embarrassment is very real. Worse if someone else brings it up later... But you can move past it, and you're only human, we all make mistakes. Recognize that the fact you find it embarassing means you really really won't do it again. I think you'd find most of us here have these embarassing memories. Mine was crying over a guy who thought a 30$ shitty gift from Walmart was OK for Christmas (we were dating over a year) and got mad at me when I looked disappointed. Now I get taken on first …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:12 PM
5

Luckily I never spent that much money on terrible relationships, but it's amazing the amount of time and energy I have. Also I don't spend on coping mechanisms anymore - I've noticed bad relationships make me want to impulse shop and make unhealthy food choices. These days I'm spending on my savings accounts :) love the feeling of security that numbers provide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:01 PM
4

Great comprehensive list. A lot of that resonates. Congrats on your new found single happiness :) I've been much pickier about whom I date since I turned 25 - used to always have a bf, but now have lots of time for me and my goals. Enjoy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:57 PM
3

I think it's like this for everyone - honestly there aren't that many HVM, they're rare. Your own type is also probably pretty rare. So when you combine the two, not much to pick from. I wouldn't recommend settling for someone if you aren't attracted to them. That means they aren't for you. A critical question - do you find yourself still attracted to LVM? I did for a very long time, and honestly I wasn't ready to date and had a lot of self work to go through. Still do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:48 PM
1

Yup! Terrible men cause anxiety and a bunch of other DSM-5 things. My mental health improved tremendously when I took a 2 year break from dating and kicked most male acquaintances out of my life. I'm slowly venturing back out, but way more carefully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:27 PM
3

Yupp so I found this sub through that sub, cause people were bashing it on there. And lol... I haven't been able to read that sub since, I just read this one instead. It's too frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 08:47 PM
7

Да. Рада видеть здесь других русских женщин.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:39 PM
2

Yup! My relatives are thankfully HVM so they don't do this, but I have had my fair share of acquaintances who would hit me up just to blab some idiocy but not actually respond to any of my responses. It was mind boggling why they wouldn't just ping a chat bot. With the ones I didn't want to tell to screw off for social politeness reasons - roommates, coworkers - I started sending thumbs up emojis and smiley faces only, no words, and hours later. If you look as boring as possible, they don't wann…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 09:26 PM
1

Ugh yeah honestly only advice I could give her would be to use her money to hire a hitman 🙄 just kidding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 09:13 PM
3

Yes! This 1000 times. Men sometimes compete with me when I never asked for it, or give weird passive aggressive comments about my job. It's really insidious and unpleasant and I see it as a red flag now. HVM are happy for women's achievements and don't pull this BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:58 PM
3

I found this sub in a certain advice sub that we know, where people were bashing a poster for having FDS views. I had a wonderful evening reading through it and felt my self esteem rising. :) So happy this place exists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:47 PM
5

Congrats on your awesome achievements! Here's my personal experience, maybe this can help - I was also a successful recent grad, now 5 years out. In my less confident days, I tried dating guys who were less advanced and it didn't go well, so don't do that lol. You need to be firm on your standards - which can be as high as you want. Want a man who makes 500k+ and looks hot? Do it. Yup, there are less guys that pass your bar, but that's cause you're rare and awesome. 👑 FYI there are guys in their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:40 PM
3

Ugh these guys are the worst. They won't own up to their feelings and call a spade a spade because they're too afraid of the potential for your direct rejection. It's some weird back door trojan horse strategy. If you don't like them back, they can "save face" by saying they weren't trying anyway. The language is always "hang out", "friends", "enjoy our conversations" - all while taking negs at you for liking anyone else or even mentioning your standards. Also beware, these jerks sometimes backd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:31 PM
3

Don't think your autism somehow invalidates your feelings - I'm sure you know what it feels like when something is 'off'. I'm on the spectrum and needed treatment as a child, and this made me doubt myself for ages, but nah. If you get the sense someone is stepping on your boundaries, their presence makes you anxious, they belittle you or tell you to not make a big deal when you bring up issues with them, they're manipulating you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:26 PM
2

Yes totally noticed this! With LVMs especially. Just recently this guy gave me guff for beating him in a board game and felt the need to tell me I wouldn't have won if he didn't let me 🙄 I really don't like it when men compete against their significant other, it feels so unsupportive and stressful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:19 PM
113

You don't owe him shit. You never agreed to pay for it. On that note, you really shouldn't give him any more of your time either - he sounds like a stingy prick with awful communication skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:25 PM
25

Hey, the dream doesn't mean you're a pickmeisha. It was a nightmare to show you what you don't want. I also had horrifying dreams after getting out of a relationship with a LVM. It's kinda like PTSD lol, unfortunately these jerks do a number on you. In real life you have your personal strength. :) We believe in you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:22 PM
2

Queen energy 👑 yes the wrong person makes you feel like you're crazy, even though they are the ones doing the damage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:44 AM
2

Yup! I've litmus tested this theory by telling about posts from here to male acquaintances. You bet the HVMs say "sure, makes sense" while the LVMs prickle. Honestly probably time for me to do a cleanup of my acquaintance sphere...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:28 AM
15

Mother was absolutely unwatchable. I honestly think it was somehow attempting to make art out of using and discarding women in horrific ways. Sure people said it had some interpretation about our planet and humanity's negative effects on nature, but nah, Earth movies kinda need Earth in them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:55 PM
12

So happy to see this sentiment said out loud. I've always felt this way but have received a lot of dOnT be mAtErEAlistic from both genders
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 09:47 PM
8

Yup, you're completely right. Lucky for us this means that great female talent will flock to great workplaces, making them even better to work at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:51 PM
6

Sorry this happened to you. Sounds like there was systemic sexism there. I hope you're in a better workplace that values your contributions properly now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:50 PM
12

Good for you for seeing through it and not accepting that offer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:49 PM
18

Nice move :) yup, changes are hard but necessary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:40 AM
7

Yeah it can be incredibly damaging... I developed anorexia when I was 15, and have thankfully been free of it since I was 20. It took me a long time to see it but, surprise surprise, 15 was when I began doing sexual things with my high school bf and he constantly talked about porn and even asked me to do certain positions that made me feel awkward. He also called my two best friends fat and ugly (never to their face, just to me) and I didn't recognize that as abusive behavior. I should have been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:19 AM
59

Why the hell is anal sex in /Teen/ Vogue? I don't think most women want it, just get pushed into it, and teen girls especially aren't always good at sticking up for themselves yet. This shouldn't be normalized. I have had several guys I dated try to get me to do it and keep asking after I said no once. It was gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:12 AM
5

Great idea, I think it's super valuable to evaluate what someone's impact on your life has been and taking time away from them really clarifies it. Do what you need to heal and feel good about yourself. You don't owe anyone your time or attention. Some men deserve it, but they damn well need to prove that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:09 AM
83

Truth. Another thing to watch for though - some guys will wait and they will still be awful. From personal sad experience, some guys ditched after sex, but honestly, it's better that was a few weeks in than a few months. I think it's cause some of them like the chase and lose interest once the "conquer" i.e. have sex with you. I'm sure there are better ways to vet this though, I'm still figuring out how to level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:04 AM
1

Thanks for your kind words. We get stronger every day ~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 12:55 AM
2

If I had been FDS educated back then, it would have been so obvious: On our third date, the guy wanted to take me to the opera and a fancy dinner. Sounds good right? Except. At the end of the dinner he asked me to 50/50 the tab since he was so generous with the previous dates and the opera tickets. I was 22, just got a job, paying off all my debt and whatnot. I refused to put my credit card down and told him that I like to be romanced. Which he did, begrudgingly for our entire relationship. But …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:34 PM
4

Yup! Agreed. That being said, it doesn't hurt to put yourself into more social situations than say, sitting on your tush at home sometimes. But you're right in that it has to be done without the expectation that it will lead to you meeting a HVM, and for your own personal enjoyment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:18 PM
2

I like the brand pillow talk. They provide good range of power, quality build (I've had mine for 3 years and it's running great), quite affordable too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:16 PM
1

I don't think you need to be disappointed in yourself. Sure, for your own benefit in the future if you don't want to move that fast, don't, but don't stress his opinion of you or think that you "ruined it". If the guy is high value, he won't take off marks for you wanting sex. Clearly state that you enjoy his company and look forward to more dates. If he plans another date, cool, he got it. If not, your forwardness unmasked what would have been a lengthier low value charade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:04 PM
1

No, cleaning up after yourself and helping the host is gracious guest behavior! Honestly people forget basic manners. That being said. If someone is cleaning with that pick me look of trying to impress a dude... You can make anything a pickle behavior if the intention is there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:01 PM
1

Great question! I keep up my routines which make me feel good, they stabilize me out even on a bad day - I don't skip breakfast, I make sure to get out into sunlight and exercise, I call up a friend or family member, maybe take a long bath and watch a good show. Also kind of weird, but cleaning the bejeesus out of my house works wonders. It clears my mind so I know how to handle what's going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:47 PM
1

Thankfully not an interaction with an actual pet, since I do not have one at the moment but still bad: This guy knew I love cats and want to get one when I'm a bit more financially established and have a roomier home. I grew up with a cat and it was my best friend when I was a toddler. He showed me this "funny" (as he put it) article about a vet who effed up end of care for a very sick old cat. He then said he thinks it's funny because cats aren't really pets, they're just internet memes and ser…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 08:43 PM
2

This was a video call, covid and all. There was some initial reasonable back and forth, but then the guy asked if he could read me a poem. I say sure. He keeps reading this awful piece of work he wrote for 20 literal minutes. There is a lot of misogynistic, racist, generally scary stuff in there. But that's not all. He said he wrote this poem as get this - an apology to his ex. Whom he broke up with because she didn't want to uproot her life to move across the country with him after he finished …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:32 AM
18

I think it's good to be direct and honest with yourself and them. Do you really value his friendship or do you enjoy the attention? It's dangerous to enjoy the attention because sometimes these guys get bitter and angry for being "led on", even if you clearly stated you didn't want them that way. Sometimes people can't walk away from situations that are bad for their self esteem (unrequited feelings) and you have to White Fang them to get them to treat themselves better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 07:37 PM
6

I really hope that was sarcastic advice 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 08:27 AM
1

Yes this! The absolute worst romantic experiences I had were with guys I initially had to talk myself into believing they're physically attractive because the rest "seemed" good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 08:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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