Very few are lucky enough to go through life unscathed but many of us have had to level up through experience, sometimes even start over several times.

Despite abusers being manipulative and 'watching your every move', they are actually the ones with a set pattern of behaviors. With experience, you will be able to detect it. If you ever have to question yourself 'Why is he/she doing that?' 'Why does he/she KEEP asking/pushing/etc?'' 'Maybe they're having trouble/really interested/etc...' 'I wish they'd stop.'- run. If you lower your boundaries for a temporary solution, that is their way in. A tip I've read is to point out their physical flaws as it outs the focus on them and not you. Also think about whether you actually like them, as a person in general. If not and they don't meet your standards, you don't have to accommodate them. AT ALL. We've been told to be polite and kind to everyone but truth it not everyone deserves it. Taking the high road doesn't have to include killing yourself. No one is perfect but being abusive is not a flaw- it's a disease.

There is a saying 'No one can tell you how to feel'. I disagree, toxic people definitely can influence how you feel. So watch your feelings. How do you feel hanging out with this person? Your interaction should be a net positive. And that isn't selfish because you're not taking from them, you're holding synergy with them. With abusers it's always about taking, hence one person will always come out extremely fatigued and often called 'crazy'.

These are tips, but I labelled this post under queen shit because of this saying (paraphrased): 'If you know yourself and the enemy, you will win the war.' It's not easy becoming a Queen, but sure a lot better than staying a princess.