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View 1 posts and 1,056 comments by Carpedictum on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
43

NAH, SISCarpedictum/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:54 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,056 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Consider pursuing child support at a later date. Look up the age at which your state will allow the child to decide who they want to live with and petition then. “He hasn’t seen them in 9/12 whatever years. I would like full custody and child support.” In some states, if you file while the child is still a minor at all, 17 even, you can be awarded back support through birth. Of course talk to a lawyer, but that is something to look into later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 02:30 PM
8

Hold up- he SAID “I have 4 PLUS sisters?” Wtf? Or do you mean he said “I have 4 sisters, 2 half sisters, a girl cousin who grew up in my house…” type thing? But we don’t even need to dig into all the crazy nonsense with this guy: You just intentionally had yourself sterilized but he’s going on and on about his future kids. And you’ve only been on four dates. What is your question? Should you push forward on this obviously, fundamentally bad match? I’m going to say no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 04:17 AM
21

THIS is an excellent idea- find and tell the child’s mother. If you tell the police, I don’t see how they could do anything. And worst case, somewhat likely, scenario is that they make you out to be crazy for not being “able to take a joke.” If you tell the mother, she’ll either be able to do something or know to look out for other signs of trouble. At a minimum she’ll know that if her daughter says something odd, he should not be given the benefit of the doubt even once. (I don’t know the daugh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 06:01 PM
19

What? I’ve been with both and I couldn’t tell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 08:54 PM
25

No. “Rape by deception” only applies to two kinds of deception. Deception as to who the person is (literally) and deception as to the act that happened. The first “who” means literally an imposter, not “who” as in their character or marital status, etc. Think evil twin problems. Or you married a stranger quickly, not uncommon, and then “your husband” returns from war, except actually he died and his similar looking friend slid in. Most common would be slipping into someone’s bedroom in the middl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 08:31 PM
15

I have a theory about trash tv. When we grow up in chaos and then manage to clear all that garbage out of our lives, it’s almost too quiet. Some people feel compelled to fill that up with more actual chaos. Personally, I run trash tv in the background while I’m doing my dishes or organizing my closet, etc. It’s just enough to get a little outraged and feel a little “Oh NO he DID NOT!” but then click, back to my quiet peaceful life. Looking at the overlap of reality tv subs vs life improvement su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 02:23 AM
26

I said you sound insane. Built into that is the assumption that you are not, in fact, insane and that something in your environment/situation is jarring you. Can you have a cup of tea, calmly consider that you might have a real chemical addiction, then look back over your writing? You’re asking for help so I don’t think you’re 100% gone, which makes me believe that in calmer times you can see that this sounds disjointed and frantic. You are not in an actual life or death situation but your tone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 02:16 AM
82

You sound insane. Your writing is rambling and jumps back and forth. But primarily, you’ve lost any reasonable concept of what information is important and what is not. It’s all a jumble. This is not an insult, it’s a data point. You’ve lost a sense of what’s relevant because he’s been telling you to override your own common sense. He’s been hot and cold, intermittent rewards, and now you’re an addict. You don’t need to analyze anything anymore. No specific facts or details matter. You have beco…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 08:15 PM
63

I think it’s crazy we think of “losing control” as somehow more forgivable. You know a damned man came up with that idea because how in the hell is it less dangerous to have someone walking around who might just randomly go beserk?! How is someone plotting a murder worse than becoming unpredictably homicidal at random? (I’m convinced the reason “plotting” is worse is that women would poison bad men whereas men violently slay. So they decided obviously one was worse.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 02:24 PM
19

You don’t need to know the difference in types of protective/restraining orders. Only one type will be available to you based on your circumstances. Some states have different names for ones involving civil cases vs criminal. Some states have a different name for the temporary version (often TRO) that you can get within serving him (ie: telling him) versus the longer version they put in place after a hearing in which he is/can be involved. If you want to know for academic reasons or to try and i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 05:43 AM
39

Ok, this guy is a scrub but yesterday I paid $16 for two medium lattes, nothing especially fancy or extra about them, and one slice of pumpkin bread. Would’ve been well over $20 my girlfriend and I each had our own slice. Two bagels with cream cheese, no beverages, is about $12. I don’t believe for one second this dude was only going to spend $20, but I don’t think saying $20 for breakfast would sound padded in a lot of cities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 10:29 PM
28

https://www.natlawreview.com/article/new-law-to-bar-mandatory-arbitration-agreements-waivers-sexual-assault-and Well well well - what exceptionally good timing for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 03:52 AM
2

Another way to phrase the bikini pics is that a dad took and shared pics of his kid at the pool. If the accusation can be rephrased as an ordinary everyday event, then it sounds like the mom is the one sexualizing the kid. Subtext and gut feelings don’t count in court. Law school isn’t about learning rules. It’s primarily three years of learning to be stone cold personally removed from whatever the rules and facts are. A judge is an especially unattached lawyer, so things that sound obviously cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 03:17 PM
118

I searched for a custom leather dog harness. Oooofffffff. The results were not AT ALL what I was looking for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 07:29 PM
45

Having one good and trusted adult prevents all but the worst things from damaging a kid (too much). Do what your lawyers say. A personal tip is to kind of force his hand to get tired of the inconvenience. If he has some kind of conflict with his time, say “Well of course I’d love to have her home more! Would you like me to take over Tuesdays? No? You just want a one off babysitter? I can’t do that. It isn’t stable for her to have an unpredictable schedule like that.” Keep making that exact offer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:21 PM
76

This is so accurate and painful to see. I spent a little while looking at the post-affair subs. SO many times women would talk about telling the judge and calling his office etc, etc. Several times I stepped in and said “Please don’t do any of that. Call a lawyer and do exactly what they say. Courts and corporations don’t care about adultery. You’ll wind up portrayed as the “crazy, obsessed”ex and you’ll lose everything.” Guess who was argued against and downvoted into oblivion? I gave up trying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:48 PM
104

He better offer delivery or to cook. A man trying to teach me wife skills with the right tone? Hell to the no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:59 PM
15

He’s awful. His whole schtick is that women should make themselves as appealing as possible for men so that hopefully they can become his prized and cherished possession. It’s no different than fundamentalist ministers and it’s a load of horse shit. He stumbles into the good advice that most men are sleazy and you shouldn’t let them be, but that’s happenstance. It’s just another version of being a pick-me, it just happens to have some truth because men are disgusting and reverse psychology works…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:54 PM
84

Ohhhhhhh hahahaha! A few years ago, same situation. Came early, small period stain on a man’s sheets. He told me he didn’t know how to get that out. Even texted me later to say the same thing. I sent him a picture of oxyclean and said that any grocery or drug store should have it. Oh, pro tip, only use cold water! I did not realize until reading this that he was probably trying to prompt ME into doing his laundry. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:49 PM
59

I think they’ve learned the trick that they need to be kind to servers, so be careful to look at more than one category. The Uber driver is one good category to add to your list 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 06:52 PM
4

Oh yes- also this so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 06:48 PM
228

He will encroach on you physically. Standing in your way to block you from leaving an argument. Walking into your space, “forcing” you into a corner, etc. Picking you up and moving you, even jokingly if you’ve expressed any kind of dislike for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 04:45 AM
6

Oh honey. One phrase: Nigerian Romance Scammer. This isn’t one man you keep correcting, you’re being hit up by Nigerian romance scammers. Forbes did an article a couple of years ago with a literal playbook of theirs. One of the suggested questions is “What’s your present Marital Status, do you have kids?” on page 4. It’s constantly refined as much as possible, it would seem they figured out that’s an awkward phrasing and now are asking “Are you married, do you have kids?” This is why he can’t an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 06:29 PM
16

Because we sometimes make genuine mistakes and project our motivations onto them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:55 AM
14

Was your friend definitely delusional and neurotic? Because picking up justified jealousy from his “energy field” sounds like a woo woo version of “trust your gut.” Obviously I only have this snippet but stand alone l don’t hate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:53 AM
1

Wow. Crazy. I thought for sure you’d run into magic underwear in the wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 02:46 AM
3

So… Mormon?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 09:28 AM
2

“Marriage is only risky to women if they allow the legal arrangements to expose them to risk.” The legal arrangements always expose women to risks. “Only” and “allow” are the ridiculous exaggerations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:46 PM
11

You’re a lawyer- me too. When women have a pre-nup, their divorce is fast, inexpensive, free of legal jockeying and attempts to manipulate by “wronged” and resentful LVM? Because that’s not what I’ve seen at all. A pre-nup can mitigate some of the potential loss of assets, but marriage is still risky. Physically, psychologically, and legal bills mean also financially. Not to mention- if you have kids, a prenup can’t cover any aspect of that- including child support you might have to pay. A prenu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 05:52 AM
2

Is the tiny difference that one is the MOST secure load bearing knot and the other is the LEAST? That’s like… there’s literally no worse pair of knots to confuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 06:35 PM
8

Eh- I’ll agree it’s like gambling, but on the level of buying a $5 mega millions ticket every month. Is it wasteful? Probably. Does it matter? No. And hey, you might win someday. Just don’t put in more effort/time/money than you can afford to lose, and don’t plan your life as though it will pan out. The different is that careful dating and betting in any format is good practice and builds skills that keep us safe. Plus online dating does reduce the scarcity mindset, like another person said here…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 07:16 AM
7

Could we get a clarifying/position post about being a SAHM or SAHWife? Obviously a man must pay for all dates and entertainment, etc. Ok. Then we say no 50/50 on bills, etc., so the man must support us. Ok. BUT- then comes the INSISTENCE that women continue to work in perpetuity, despite ostensibly receiving no benefit from the money except having it pile up. Part time work isn’t a great solution. Many studies have shown that part time work results in the least happy women- they’re spread thin a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 06:25 AM
12

I do lots of active hobbies packed with men. BUT- I live in a BIG city and there might be… 500? people that are even occasionally in the mix. People I see regularly enough to recognize- 50, 100 maybe? Over half are married- so best case scenario I’m regularly around 40 singles. Heavy on the men so 30 single men. In that size group, which is much larger and more male than usual, you can date 1-2 of the men before you get a bad reputation. Do you really want to be the woman who skis or hunts or wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 06:04 AM
3

Make a wish list on Amazon called “Interesting Things.” DO NOT call it a list for him. Add to the wishlist to your heart’s content. Those will be the presents you give him for your wedding anniversaries and birthday/Holidays after you’re married. If you break up, it’s cathartic to delete each item, one by one, as though you’re taking back his future gifts. And he never even knows you were so very into him. For your actual gift, spend 5-10% of what he spends on you. If that’s just a cheap card, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 12:47 AM
27

Massage. If it’s out of your budget, I know there are a few massage schools where I live and they have student clinics. I think it’s $30 or $40 for a one hour. Also agree on the heated or weighted blankets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:46 AM
70

I also use the blushing emoji or reply simply “You’re silly.” to vaguely suggestive texts. I think context is important on those. If you barely know the guy- block and delete. For sure. If you’re actually in a physically intimate relationship with him, I don’t think it’s necessarily low value for him to send a vaguely/potentially suggestive text (like “I wish I was there with you” at night), but I do think his response to your deflection will clarify REALLY quickly if he’s HV or LV. If he repeat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 01:26 AM
2

Mary, Mother Theresa, Their mother doing an activity she loved (so showing her body and not just face), child picking flowers. Basically, the madonnas of the Madonna-whore options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 11:20 PM
127

It’s like being sterilized is now. It’s perfectly legal for a single, childless 18 year old women to have her tubes tied. But doctors make up whatever rules they want- including requiring a husband to consent, excessive amounts of counseling, and older age than necessary. Can she have the procedure? Yes. Is that actually true most of the time? No. In 1974, banking was like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:23 AM
42

My thought as well. Gambling problem seems more likely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 05:43 PM
29

Any character with autism. Act like you’re all business, 100% competent, and just have no grasp of wtf is happening when they try to be chatty or flirty or demeaning, etc. They tell a “joke?” Say “I don’t get it…” and go right back to work mode. Still smile. Use polite language. No need to be cold. Just legit imagine yourself as autistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 04:44 AM
41

“dude had a family and the wife just ruined it.” What? The wife WAS the family and she didn’t want him anymore. So no- he really didn’t. And if there were kids, HE just ruined that part. Idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 05:24 PM
27

This is all perfect advice. I want to throw on two small additions. If he shows up at your house, call the police and say a man is yelling or trying to break in or what have you. Do not say it’s your ex. Sometimes they take domestic violence situations less seriously. Plan ahead for your presentation to the police. Rehearse what you’ll say. Maybe even take a written outline. Practice saying it OUT LOUD so that you aren’t stumbling over your words to the police. In other words- don’t sound “crazy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:15 AM
14

It makes me extremely angry that they keep saying he “only” emotionally/psychologically abused her. Punching a wall near a person is a textbook civil assault. Then the boyfriend threw something, and as a result, she and her daughter were touched by shards of glass. That’s textbook assault and battery- civil and criminal. This is 1L first week of law school level knowledge. The show had a real opportunity to educate people that this counts as physical abuse, in every way, but instead it pushes th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:10 PM
98

I have a different take. To me, it’s worst when I think he’s still a good guy, he did love me, but then for whatever reason that changed. If I think he never loved me, like your standard issue narcissist scrote, it reads to me like “Well damn it! I was tricked by a robot.” And that’s exactly what narcissists are- robots. They’re a big collection of “if/then” rules that they learned from watching real people. That’s been a really helpful way for me to reframe the situation in my mind and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:34 AM
25

You’re giving men way too much credit. It might be 25% that their ego is tied up in making you perfectly satisfied, but it’s 75% just to shut you up. It’s exactly like the “You want me to pick up my socks? Great. I’m the worst husband ever and I don’t even deserve to be alive.” move. Now there are two problems- you’re upset AND he’s even MORE upset. So now you shift to comforting him. You’re saying “Don’t comfort him because it’s a trick.” I’m saying sis, he ain’t even really upset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:33 AM
1

How do we “block and delete?” We block so he can’t contact us. We delete so we don’t go back in a moment of weakness. Right? I know how to block OR delete. Is there a way to do both? Or is just that more of an expression? Also- how do I block an email? On gmail and/or Outlook. I’ve been moving them to spam, then after a few times they go there automatically, but can I just intentionally block in the first place?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 05:00 PM
5

Apologies for derailing, but has she considered a diaphragm? They have ones made of silicone now- one size fits all. Agree that hormones or sticks in your uterus can be bad for a lot of us. Condoms might be uncomfortable- to use or insist on. So why don’t doctors talk about diaphragms? The abortions are her business, but it does seem unnecessarily physically traumatic to do over and over. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 03:48 PM
15

Boyfriend of a couple months. To me, that really isn’t a “burn your mementos because this is THE ONE” level relationship yet. Is the album accessible? Does he look at it regularly? Does he otherwise seem obsessed with that ex? IMO- because you did ask for opinions, if it’s a dust covered photo album in the back of the closet, and he has no other red flags about the ex, and you’ve only been together a couple of months, that’s an inappropriate “break up over this” demand. Your boundaries are your …
/r/askFDS01/09/21 03:09 PM
25

I learned about “rejection sensitive dysphoria” super recently. Super helpful. For me, it means I cut people off quickly. I’m still not certain that’s a bad thing. But it explains so much about my daughter who also has ADD. She didn’t even want anyone to read her creative writing in 1st grade. But primarily, she has an absolute meltdown if I address a problem she’s having. It isn’t possible to be gentle enough. “Your teacher said you didn’t do your homework. Can I help you with anything?” Cue th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:45 PM
49

I can give examples because I’m a person who developed strong boundaries against my narc parents. It looks cold, basically. It looks like not showing up when they’re on their death bed for the 75th time. It looks like not calling on birthdays because they use those as a guilt trip. When they mischaracterize a past event, firmly correcting the objective facts while allowing for how they feel about the subjective parts (ie: “Your nurse didn’t hit you. Agree to disagree about whether her tone was y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:39 PM
28

I’ve seen this. It’s so absurd. If they want to be fancy, the names are supposed to shift. Senior dies, junior becomes senior, 3rd becomes junior, and so on. Having a IV is tacky as hell- clearly just trying to ape old money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 10:19 PM
75

💯 We discussed that I would stay home with any children until kindergarten at least. Went as far as picking out specific neighborhoods and schools for our future children. After school I had a baby and he never even tried to move up from his $14 an hour intern level job. I had to take out personal loans to cover our still modest mortgage (not remotely in the agreed neighborhoods). Our plans were completely reasonable. The only thing that could ruin everything would be him doing the least possibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 10:15 PM
65

Looks like I’m the first to disagree. Responding with an underwhelmed “Oh. Ok. That’s nice.” is good advice. Completely ignoring braggy parts of the story- yup, love it. But some of what you’re suggesting is just conversationally rude (saying I’ve been to better places) and some is the negging we think so poorly of. A high value man won’t expect you to be big impressed with his things, but he also won’t appreciate being straight-up told his car or bonus are inadequate. Or having his stories imme…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:43 PM
102

CouLD IT bE bRain DaMAge?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 08:49 PM
10

Ummmmmm then maybe you still had wool over your eyes? The book was even more infuriating than this video.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 02:28 PM
13

No. A practicing Jew, orthodox enough to be saying any of the stuff on that paper, would only write Hashem (generic word for father) or G-d. If you write Elohim down, you’re basically making that paper holy and it’s a whole shitshow of how it has to be handled after that. This dude isn’t a Jew. Maybe you’re thinking of the Jews for Jesus “Judaism.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:06 PM
19

Dick in boobs. I think the “support” was partially a breast joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:58 PM
26

Treadmill makes me think almost certainly yes. Weight was a component at least because I sure can’t imagine this dude being concerned that she maintain cardio fitness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:57 PM
11

(Un)ironically, MLM “new business” parties are almost exclusively the purview of the women who already had the man and baby themed parties. Single women don’t do that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:46 PM
48

Even better truth- IT DOESN’T F’ING MATTER! You aren’t his mother. You don’t have to love him no matter what. You aren’t an employer of more than 5 or a public accommodation- you don’t have to modify things to accommodate for his (mental) disability. If a man is treating you badly, it does not matter one fig if it’s because of depression, or ADHD, or autism, you can and should GTFO regardless. Caveat: If you are MARRIED, AND if you WANT TO, it’s the more honorable thing to say, “Your behavior is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:26 PM
41

Get back in the capital Why is that? Even when they have lots of money and are paying for everything, I ALWAYS wind up having less money after a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:11 PM
30

Yes, BUT Use your notes app or Evernote instead of paper. It won’t get lost, no one will stumble on it, and you can access it to add to or read over absolutely any time you need to. Evernote has an extra passcode lock, so that’s my fave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:16 AM
2

Holy shit. It gets worse. Their monthly bills include: $600 for mortgage on HER house, $1600 on groceries, $900 on restaurants, $750 for dog vet care. She has two full time jobs AND they’re living on her inherited “emergency funds.” I looked it up- they can consider a new spouses income, only if the non custodial parent is claiming they can’t even afford a minimal/reasonable amount of child support. I guaran-damn-tee that’s EXACTLY what’s happening here. Everything about every bit of this sounds…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:16 PM
29

I agree with this. The correct response to “FDS is a bunch of ugly incels.” is “Fuck outta here.” Or ideally 🦗 🦗 🦗 (crickets. Lol) We don’t need to respond with “Nuh uh.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:15 PM
7

I agree with your disagree. I mean, theoretically the most boss thing to do is say, “I’m suspicious so I’m out.” and never think of him again. But for me, without that evidence, I feel like it would be easier for him to smooth talk his way back into my life later. Seeing the betrayal right there in black and white? It’s like those movies where someone turns into dust and crumbles before your eyes. It hurts bad and then it’s guaranteed over forever. Snoop, snoop, snoop. And never feel bad about i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:03 PM
2

Oh, true. That isn’t legal where I live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 08:56 PM
18

Actually I would change calling to telling him via email or text message. That provides the documentation of abuse in the second part of your advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 06:10 PM
3

I was in a place where I needed to wear a Shayla (drapey hijab) to be respectful. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. Other places in this city, the men didn’t glance at me. I put the shayla on and it was non-stop “Hey baby, are you Muslim?” You’re right. It’s just a nice dream is all...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:51 AM
1

Oh 100% agree. I just thought of it now that I’m starting to miss the slight anonymity of my mask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:48 AM
1

Oh gosh- you aren’t a clown, HE is a clown. You were tricked. And you found out before you were trapped - good job! 😁🥂🍾💫🌈 🎉 🎈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:45 AM
20

No. You are not. At all. You are fertile- physically and mentally, and he is not. He will steal every bit of energy he can from you. Where is the woman he was with when he was your age? Because that will be you in 15 years. No woman is safe from age gaps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:59 AM
9

I gotta agree. It’s a cope. To justify why she’s dating someone awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:32 AM
26

What? This isn’t remotely a pickle. The completely normal and regular way people handle this is that immediately after marriage, she moves into his home and then, if it’s inadequate for whatever reason (too small, rented not owned, etc), the two of you find a new place. The version I see a lot is buying the house JUST before marriage, as in the “save the dates” have been sent. Even this seems way too risky to me, but it isn’t as utterly bonkers as buying with a boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:26 AM
40

$ actually. So £127
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:23 AM
4

Wow. Those are all foundational moves- you’ll reap the rewards your entire life. Well done!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:22 AM
15

Wow... I interpreted it as daydreamy/ future faking but I think you’re on to something... There probably was some of that mixed in as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:03 AM
30

Wow. That’s horrifying. Why would anyone intentionally desensitize themselves to that? 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:31 AM
56

Funny side story- I literally have my own thermometers- at my home and the home of any man I date for long. Otherwise, they will try to gaslight me about the literal temperature. “It’s hot in here.” “No it isn’t!” Solution: thermometers. These dudes are wrong 100% of the time. Every man. Every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:27 AM
31

They’ve been doing that way before red pill was a thing. They easily figure out how to be mean independently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:20 AM
87

Yes. He’s intentionally provoking her, and she’s disappointed that she can’t resist it enough to protect him from her emotions? And now she has a baby with this predator. Heartbreaking is exactly the right word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:16 AM
24

Google Niqab. I guess it’s oppressive when it’s forced, but it isn’t exactly the worst idea as a wardrobe option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:12 AM
17

The biggest red flag is a man who’s ex is “crazy.” I don’t even stick around to see if that’s accurate- he’s presumed a crazy-making scrote and I’m outta there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:08 AM
102

Ugh... I dated a man who would CONSTANTLY say “I always wanted to go there...” and I’m like- so- go? Full on adult man, grown children, having fanciful conversations about travel? Just go you lame-ass. As an aside, I travel almost entirely by myself. The usual Europe, etc, etc, but also a couple of places in Africa, the Middle East, Thailand, Vietnam. And I’m a blonde white woman. Don’t beg a dude again- they suck anyway with their whining, just GO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:55 AM
2

I mean... I do that most of the time, but in the game of walking chicken, I glare at them dead in the eye. “Walk into me. Try it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:29 PM
72

The whole “sex worker is better than an affair” dichotomy presupposes that a woman wants to stay with a cheating husband. That’s all it could possibly mean because- if I’m leaving, why would I care if he also has an emotional connection? I would not. And plain old affairs are cheaper- more money to divide when I divorce him. Sex worker definitely not better than an affair to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 10:09 PM
74

Because superfans. No real FDS woman is downvoting this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:33 PM
23

Yes, exactly. There are PLENTY men who grew up having occasional thoughts about their future kids. Stick with those men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:20 PM
1

I think they do that because sexually active plus last period over 30 days ago = might be pregnant. For a broken bone, they might choose to set it without an x-ray, or use a very low energy one and shield your uterus a ton. Also could change the medication they give you. Actual pelvic exams are almost never necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:09 PM
43

This 🤢🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:59 PM
89

God I hate this. I’d say it’s like hitting the jackpot on a slot machine versus winning the lottery. It’s common enough that most people have personally seen it happen, but Jesus Christ it is probably not going to happen for YOU. It’s juuuuuuust enough of a possibility that women try it all the time. It would almost be better if it never ever happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:55 PM
3

I feel like this is a rare time that “communicate” might be helpful. I think even a HVM might not think to celebrate Mother’s Day since you two don’t have children, but it’s a completely reasonable thing to want and a HVM would honor that. If you haven’t told him yet- do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:25 AM
9

There’s a lot of acid in the stomach. Most “gut” bacteria is at the other end, and we already know how obsessed trashy (ie: probably diseased) men are about butt stuff. Sooooo... I’d say anal is the more likely suspect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:19 AM
23

Wow... I did not see “it was probably a lie” coming in that story. What a terrifying man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:06 AM
17

I think “lie” is the most neglected piece of good advice. Good people regularly forget that’s an option when safety is at stake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:51 AM
1

😳😳😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:48 AM
170

Don’t do that. Men are bigger and those who push boundaries are inherently violent. Don’t go to a location you don’t want to go. Make up an excuse to leave and say “See you around!” Lie your ass off and don’t feel bad about it. You were in massive amounts of danger there- please be careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 05:13 PM
499

Do any exes have naked pictures of you? Then: Bonus points if you voluntarily send L A B I A pics?!? Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 05:06 PM
13

That’s an important point- it isn’t just a group of perverted doctors, it’s systemic. If a Med student refused to participate, they would have to throw away years and years of study for something that’s going to happen whether they participate or not. As a practical matter, they’re forced to do it and it’s traumatic for them as well. Like p. O. rn where the director is forcing the active participant. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:37 PM
2

Did they leave that out of the TV version or did I not realize what was happening?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:31 PM
26

YES!!! How, even? Why is the handle of the tea kettle greasy from use? It doesn’t look dirty from use when I’m the one using it... I can’t figure it out. I finally stopped inviting any man into my home. I’ll go to his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:49 PM
42

Is anyone else annoyed by the fact they included anal and prostate exams, when those weren’t being done anyway? You just know those laws only passed because they raised the possibility of “Your butthole could be next!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:58 PM
2

Yup. Who told her that, I wonder? 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 07:37 PM
36

That may be true, but men tend to respond to trauma by being an asshole. Women get sad and withdrawn, men get mean and violent. So, IMO, it doesn’t really matter which came first- chicken or egg, he’s probably going to be an awful partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 10:48 PM
3

Same. Like, when did they start allowing children to drive?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 08:23 AM
1

I was just teasing a bit and piling on. It was a good analogy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 08:14 AM
5

I wasn’t questioning you or asking for documentation... I was asking what you meant by “flawed research method” because checking google trends is pretty black and white- there’s no potential for a flaw. In that info, the author calls the method flawed, but the actual flaw is that she flatly doesn’t understand how google works. I genuinely appreciate your fact checking, and I didn’t interpret it as you questioning victims or supporting batterers or whatnot. I apologize if I came across that way. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 08:08 AM
4

There isn’t really an independent saying that “love does not conquer all.” There’s a saying “Love conquers all.” and the responsa, “Nope.” Framed that way, there isn’t much intersection with “if he wanted to he would.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:55 AM
9

I second this completely. Getting excited or even “obsessed” about something that doesn’t ever actually happen is just a regular part of life. You didn’t DO anything. In particular, the parts about slandering the other woman would be pickme behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:50 AM
43

EXACTLY. Your behavior doesn’t make men suck, it just allows it. It might be possible to say all the right things and get chased or whatever, but then you end up divorced from a scrote instead of dissed for a first date. The former seems better, unfortunately it may be a lower quantity of scrote but the same volume.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:59 AM
5

What was the research method? Was that phrase googled or was it not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:04 AM
8

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:04 PM
6

I always keep $50’s for this. One or two depending, but the unusual bill reminds me that it’s the emergency money, not the spending money I also keep tucked in different places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:33 AM
3

So first I read that as “bag of cocaine” and thought “I mean... I guess that could work in some places...” Then I realized coins...for parking or pay phones? And now again I’m wondering where you live. 😁 (Not actually asking you- unfortunately that wouldn’t be safe...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:30 AM
13

Yes! “Depression is a medical condition.” is useful information for the depressed person and their doctor, it doesn’t need to make a flip of a difference to anyone else. Judge people for their actions- straight up. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:11 AM
6

YES!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:25 AM
34

💯 And really... the most attractive women are the least “dangerous.” All these ugly men have are lies and a frumpy or generally down woman is WAY more likely to fall for it. The hot friend will be all “GTFOutta here you nasty excuse for a man!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:22 AM
35

But their gut was saying this perfectly loyal, completely disinterested friend was after their ugly husband. Why wasn’t their gut aimed at the dude?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:18 AM
2

😂💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:06 AM
72

Cool. Have two massive heart attacks- scrote. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:19 PM
22

Sort of... I’d call that analogy complete if an unrecycled plastic bottle was the only possible protection from corporate polluted water. Women’s violence is almost always reactive and self-defense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:17 PM
31

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:14 PM
13

A compliment... 🤮🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:43 PM
10

Do you work in the kind of office where you can’t wear bright colors? A headband? I’ve never heard of a dress code excluding “fun” and my profession is the most traditional possible when it comes to dress code. Five years ago it was unacceptable for women to wear pants. Pigtails are “unacceptable” because of pervs. Otherwise they’re about the most conservative, traditional hairstyle possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:42 PM
38

The “rest of” your look is prudish? A plaid skirt is the epitome of prudish! That’s exactly why they’re disgusting about them- they want to spoil an innocent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:37 PM
9

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6Nw9XRI-80s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:35 PM
4

Seconding this...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:46 PM
13

Oh god... Yeah... anytime you need to check the transcript, you should probably just go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:15 PM
8

Lady, that was the best part. What a peach, giving you an out like that. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:11 PM
5

I don’t even know if it’s that. A lot of generally shit people just blame it on their partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:10 PM
5

Exactly- I was looking for this comment. You don’t have to cut a woman endless slack because she has a small child, but don’t automatically write her off either. Judge her exactly as you would anyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:09 PM
6

THIS is the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:55 PM
11

Ewwwwwwww I’m sorry sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:53 PM
19

Mothersnet except a very British word for mother
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:34 PM
9

It makes him competitive with my ex, just the same as when women say their exes did bad things. The guys who hear trauma stories think “Well she let him get away with..., let’s see what I can get away with.” Mine take care of me and would never even ask 50/50 on anything. HOWEVER- I have completely written off having a loving permanent relationship with a HVM. After FDS, I’ve realized that’s it’s super unlikely and I don’t really need it anyway. Now I just keep a boyfriend that’s fit for my purp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:43 PM
3

Well we don’t pick each other apart for grammar, so anyone with google translate is welcome. That’s a legit step up from a lot of subs, so we do have that going for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:27 PM
5

I love that she used all the specific ones, but then still went back to include orange every-girl. 😊 Not kidding, no shade- that was super cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:26 PM
2

Ooooooohhhhhhhhh... Insight 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:24 PM
5

Because they only care about looks. And why wouldn’t they? Women get better each year, other than a few pesky skin folds; our healthy lifespan is as long as their entire lifespan, etc, etc. A woman without wrinkles might as well be younger, why not a man? Why not indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:22 PM
33

What? There’s an easy answer for all of it. Because patriarchy. The system is rigged. You can’t be upset with yourself for not figuring out that half the world is being artificially held down. Figuring that out AT ANY POINT is practically a miracle. And now you have. Congratulations. Mourn a bit if you must but you didn’t do anything wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:17 AM
9

I’ll be honest- when a man says his ex “spent/wasted all his money” “was lazy/never worked” “was spoiled,” etc, I straight up think “Ah yes. You’ll do nicely.” And I tell him all my exes did all manner of amazing things for me, and we only broke up because they were insisting on marriage. However, I’m a cynical old hag in her 40’s and learned this from men. It 100% works, just saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:02 AM
12

THAT is a factor I thought might be at play but I didn’t know how to articulate it. Babies and toddlers aren’t killed by men because men are almost never around or responsible for babies and toddlers. Murder rate per hour spent. That’s the metric I wanted. Also, that report goes into how homicide by mothers is often through neglect and homicide by men is often through violence. How the hell is that possible? A child would have to be neglected by BOTH parents to suffer harm. Soooo... how many of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:59 PM
113

Exactly. My daughter is in college. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of seeing more than a couple of nasty showers recently (her friends’, not hers thank god). I understand how the mold got there, but what is the solid brown color everywhere?! I’ve never seen anything like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:26 PM
5

Wow- thanks for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:26 PM
31

I’ve seen the suggestion to leave men’s work boots outside the door on the mat. If this is allowed it seems really smart to me. (Thrift store for the boots. Looks more realistic plus no need to spend a lot.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:25 PM
32

“Go find a step stool and say it to my face” ☠️😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:12 PM
33

Ugh. Are you really doing that? HERE? The woman just said this is a great way to COPE WITH not experiencing motherhood and you come back with, “Oh it’s nothing like being a “real” mother. Listen to me verbally masturbate over all the ‘nurturing’ I do. Unlike your plan.” Why don’t you spend some of that effort developing your own EQ. What an utterly insufferable post to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:25 AM
35

Yes some of us care, but the white people who actually care don’t say shit like that. We listen and ask what we can do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:27 AM
98

That didn’t sound correct and big surprise- it is not. Men commit the murders. In murders of children under age 5, the perpetrators are 58% male, 42% female. Closer, but still THE MOST are committed by men. Ages over 5- almost all by men. The young child part in on page 6 https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/187239.pdf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:24 AM
22

This is gold
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:24 AM
1

This is the first time I’ve noticed that a super fast runner is named Bolt. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:18 AM
3

I knew exactly what you meant. Synonyms of hard: difficult, rough, intense. Synonyms of soft: cushy, light, relaxing. In spite of the fact that the women’s work is a constant grind. Calling it “soft” is just another way that language dismisses the contributions of women. I’m not criticizing the work division necessarily, I’m saying you might want to examine the language you were taught as shorthand for each person’s work. There’s a bias that I don’t think you’ve considered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:15 AM
3

I was more mocking men who say “devil’s advocate.” This particular dude is a 100% douche and absolutely meant Men and Females.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:08 AM
13

Holy shit 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:38 AM
11

Every time I’ve heard that, they’re correct. Like damn... I hadn’t thought about it before but yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:29 AM
33

I wish I could remember where I read this but it resonated with me: Abusers trick their victims into being confused over which is which, but there’s an extremely simple test to make that determination. The one who is trying to control is the abuser. The one who is resisting control is the victim. (Side note: requiring honesty, fidelity, and contribution is not control.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:19 AM
25

We get it. You’re Australian. Lol. I don’t think you could’ve used more vernacular in one post if you tried. I count: chavs, crisps, packets, bin, wombles. Possibly track unless you mean a paved circle for running competitions. I must be in a silly mood because this has absolutely delighted me. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:55 PM
63

😂☠️😂 It’s been ages since I cracked up over a user name but that... I’m hurting my abs from laughing. Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:50 PM
25

They went to TWENTY FOUR countries! That’s completely normal to keep up with and it was very very important to clarify. If they’d only been to, say, 15 countries, I can see why she’d be unhappy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:00 PM
4

Well, in his defense, he could’ve read HVM as high value male and wanted to make them equal. 😂😂😂 Just playing devil’s advocate here... 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:50 PM
21

You know the reason. And same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:45 PM
2

Exactly. Discipline and moderation would be buying a candy bar, cutting it into a few pieces, and eating a bit now and a bit another time. I’m not saying that’s entirely healthy, it‘a debatable, but trashing most of the bar because you can’t control yourself around this wicked, wicked food is 100% disordered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:55 PM
14

Well, there’s a hint of truth in there. Society should stop making it so goddamned hard to be a mother that it absolutely NEVER passes a rational decision process. And less well read women are easier to bamboozle about what they “should be“ doing. But the solution is them, not you overriding logic and agreeing to suffer for society’s sake, or whatever. (I say this as a mother. I was young, there was no (substantial) internet, and I was definitely tricked.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:54 PM
12

Cooking and cleaning are “soft,” but hanging a picture is “hard?” Home budget is “soft.“. But if a man works in finance- the same thing is now “hard?” Yes, the word “tradition“ is warped and used as a justification for suppression- in the exact situation you’re describing! Division of labor makes sense, and it’s hard to be objective about things you grew up “knowing,” but those word choices are misogynistic as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:34 PM
33

Agree with this one. Saying he has a small penis can go either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:31 PM
34

Holy. Shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:13 PM
49

That he wants you to lower your standards and simultaneously pump up his ego. “Oh no baby- you’re definitely good enough for me! You’re so amazing!” What you should actually say is “You know... I think you’re right. Bye.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:06 PM
73

Wtf? Rich men buy used cars ALL. THE. DAMNED. TIME. And they OFTEN cost more. Only marginally middle class men would think that way. Feeling all superior because they got a NEW stripped down sedan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:04 PM
11

☠️😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:34 PM
11

It’s interesting you said “Girlfriend experience” because this is exactly what men do with escorts. Then everyone acts like they’re such sweethearts because they mostly want to “just talk” to them. No. It is not sweet and not even talking. It’s emotionally unloading and then immediately using them as a semen receptacle. This is FAR worse than only using them as a semen receptacle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:25 PM
9

I am so mad at you for this 😳☠️😂🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:17 PM
17

Another thing I’m realizing is entirely projection... THEY accuse women of rambling “just to be heard.” I’ve always thought that was odd because no, not really. If you can solve a problem for me, please do! But actually, THEY are the ones who want to whine and wallow around in their victimhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:12 PM
6

Whoah... Do you mean the UK? Because UK men admirably STFU. Maybe Germany... They leer a bit but are usually quiet. You can’t POSSIBLY mean France, Spain, or Italy because I can’t go 5 full minutes without being aggressively sexually harassed there. American men are roughly in the middle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:09 PM
17

Lady... If a man said what, 6 sentences? about an ex who cheated and then died of an overdose, I don’t think anyone would say he’s just endlessly dumping his crazy emotions everywhere. In addition: this forum is specifically to talk about avoiding shitty men AND none of us are captive and forced to read your post. You are NOTHING like them. Not in the slightest. Also, I’m sorry you went through that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:04 PM
15

💯 💯 💯 I will NOT date any man who says his ex has this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:59 PM
8

Additional submission: “Are you saying I’m old? 🤣” “Yes.” “😳”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:53 PM
6

“I paid more for my Invisalign.” ☠️😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:46 PM
12

That... doesn’t seem like a great idea. You know how you shouldn’t have kids with your cousin? So like that, squared. The two women thing though 👨‍🍳 💋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:40 AM
7

Help please- I need to send this to a man that I don’t want to know about FDS. How can I do this? Is the username lyngtran ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:55 AM
10

Jeez- what’s wrong with me that my biggest takeaway was “What ‘new approach’?!? 9 pounds a month!?!” I need to go back to that post with Dworkin’s sketch/descriptors of a woman’s body. 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:14 AM
10

You know... I used to be toxic boy crazy and a girlfriend of mine at the time set up basically a boundary like that. She also gave me a nice but not especially expensive pair of earrings- with small stones from a country that has a special meaning to me. She said she got them on eBay- this was maybe 10 years ago. I have earrings now that easily cost 50 times what those did, but I still wear those 2-3 days a week. My point is- a gift might mean more than you think, and she also might be listening…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:10 AM
8

I have a two tier orgasm system, and I big-time emphasize the difference. I have a “small orgasm” when I just don’t want to anymore (to placate him) or as a “second” orgasm to boost his ego. (Little tense, then a quiet “Ah. Nice. Stop touching me now I’m ticklish.”) I have real, expressive orgasms when they’re real. This serves my purposes without messing up the training and incentive for him to do an actual good job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:55 PM
4

Fair. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:48 PM
16

I suggested this to a different woman on here for a different reason- tell your healthcare providers that you have religious objections to all the nudity and presence of men. That’s way easier to have honored than just stating your own personal boundaries. Blaming your boundaries on an imaginary all-powerful man gets them top priority. (I know your point was bigger than that- just offering this so it might help a little. Especially with your biopsies- PLEASE GET YOUR BIOPSIES DONE!!! We need you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:46 PM
4

Saying “Facts” means “That’s a fact! You are right!” She didn’t mean “Please provide facts.” Just for future reference 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:30 PM
5

Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:17 PM
5

😂☠️😂 Omg you’ve made my day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:15 PM
11

Another point I’d never heard or considered before this sub. Interesting. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:39 PM
20

Oh thoroughly. I’ve seen a truly repulsive number of men cry over how my [existing in the world] made them feel insecure and jealous. Solution: Therapy for them? 😂 No. Solution: I stay beside them or alone at home 24/7, and never talk about anything I did before we met. Not even sex related, btw. Just “Oh I’ve been to that restaurant.” “😭😭😭 With who?!” They ONLY cry for manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:34 PM
85

THANK YOU!!! Like, isn’t a better phrasing “Sons of desperate abandoned mothers, how do you feel about your father, given the fact your mother had to prostitute herself to support you?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:28 PM
77

Before FDS that wouldn’t have seemed like a big age gap. Now... Agree... 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:22 PM
125

Ok- when you’re about to have an orgasm, do you want his pace to stay the same or increase in speed/intensity? Because for me and every woman I’ve talked to, it’s stay the same. And yet they all come trained to ramp things up when I’m close. Messes everything up. I’ve only talked to a handful of women about it, so... do some of you like things to get faster or are these men just consistently bad?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:54 AM
26

Oh hell no. If my friend painted something silly, and took it upon themselves to decorate my house with it? I’d think it’s funny but in no way would I feel obligated to keep it up. And I’m a great friend and person. Doing that was HV all the way. A bit sentimental, laid back about “his space,” encouraging her. I like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 03:48 AM
1

Then say high blood pressure. High cholesterol. The gout. I don’t know, but surely you have some tiny legitimate physical health issue to work with. Basically just any boring physical condition and never admit to a mental health issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 03:03 AM
4

Well, I do have mild hypothyroidism. That legitimately accounts for one of the pills. And honestly, almost all women have thyroid issues to some degree. There’s just too much environmental stuff messing with our hormones. The rest of the pills? If ever “caught” I’ll just claim ignorance. “I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. If he says Wellbutrin helps my thyroid, why would I question him?!?” But mostly- you are assuming WAY more interest than a man ever has. Man. Remember that we’re talking about me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 03:01 AM
1

😂☠️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:52 AM
24

Oh absolutely lady! I don’t drink on dates until after we’ve had sex. That’s got to be a sober decision and it does make vetting SO. MUCH. easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:33 AM
30

This is also the best way to prompt actual change. If a man does something you don’t like, just say “Oh.” and allow your attention to drift towards something you do find pleasant. I suppose I’ll just allow him to drift away... He will sure figure it the hell out, on his own, and correct the situation. (Obviously not big things, but asking you to cook, booking economy tickets 😜, that sort of thing.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:09 AM
13

Oh no... I never thought about that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:39 AM
6

What? Ok... It sounds like you’re even more anti-porn than a lot of us. Like... I don’t watch it, and I wouldn’t put on something inherently abusive, but I could watch a bit of standard 90’s style porn as part of a hypothetical revenge setup/joke. If you find that unthinkable, you need to get way THE HELL AWAY from this guy. He will absolutely 100% continue to use it, at best just on occasion. And those occasions will tear your guts out. As to your other question: Do all men do that? Well... I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:28 AM
171

So... I think that’s what it DID mean for the purposes of that study. Just a normal, non-roided up, non-gym rat, relatively fit dude. They see the study and go “YES!!! Women love keg shaped men! Says so right here!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:10 AM
24

You know you’re right... ALL are massive drinkers (5-6 a day), or eat absolutely disgusting fatty foods, but usually both. I don’t know any overweight men who’ll occasionally turn down a cocktail. “Nah, I’m just having water tonight” guy is absolutely ALWAYS slim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:07 AM
9

Yeah, they’re so much more compliant when you’re just following the rules a man gave you. In this case, the big man (in their mind, I mean). Good idea about the card- it’s hard to think about anything in the moment; especially if you’re in pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:35 PM
14

This is one thing that I envy in Islamic countries- it is understood that you shouldn’t be alone with a man and a man shouldn’t presume he can touch you in that way. I think male doctors can see female patients, but the second you request a woman, it’s honored and understood. I know full well that their system is problematic, but is there really no way to balance it? Like, you know, say that women CAN CHOOSE how free they feel about their bodies? ALLOW for modesty without REQUIRING it? How is th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:49 PM
26

So in his case, he’s literally walking on eggshells. Like, from the breakfast he made himself. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:35 PM
32

Bye bye 👠 That’s really too bad. Insoles even. (Also, my god was this triggering. Like, literally. How do they all sound exactly the same. How can they use SO MANY WORDS to describe temper tantrums? I’ve not gotten my own letter like that in about a year- thank goodness.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:32 PM
76

The other component is valuing a low partner count for women, and shaming a high one. That is a pretty significant incentive/disincentive to stay with a LVM versus simply walking out and trying your luck on another round. In college, women actually told me they were doing that, for that reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:23 PM
6

I hope this helps you reframe his words as weapons that were formed FOR THE PURPOSE of hitting those sore spots. He said you were fat or ugly or whatever because you told him you think that. Even that jerk didn’t have those thoughts independently. If you’d said you don’t feel worthy because of your narrow nail beds, he would’ve directed the jabs towards that “flaw” instead. You can say “I don’t care what he thinks,” but even better- he didn’t even think that. I’m so sorry all that happened to yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:19 PM
6

Oh that’s good... that’s real good. So you won’t be dealing with the pain of that sore spot at the same time you’re dealing with the pain of finding out your partner is malicious. That’s so smart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:01 PM
9

I don’t think he’s stupid, I think he wanted you to know that he’s still watching you. That’s dangerous as hell, please take any possible precautions to protect yourself. He was sending you a MESSAGE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:41 PM
11

The correct version of this is “Make a list of 3 mandatory traits. Say yes to every man that meets the criteria AND TREATS YOU WELL.” The entire point is to become accustomed to enjoyable dates. Well, and also to be more open minded about SMALLER THINGS that don’t matter. Ie: If education wasn’t in your top 3, say yes to a plumber that meets all your criteria. I still don’t love this concept, but I’ve never had trouble with dating so I’m not going to judge it. However, this at least makes sense …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:25 PM
76

Yup- 💯 Pills are ALL for your thyroid, ladies. Why do I take 4-5 pills a day for my thyroid? Literally no one has ever asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:37 PM
9

Preach. Where the hell are these men that can’t express their feelings? Oh wait... jealousy, anger, and pride don’t count as feelings? Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:18 PM
44

😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:13 PM
29

The joke is that this is already true, right? Minus the bestiality billboards, as far as I know. And I hate that I had to qualify that... 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:08 PM
47

Omg agree! The default is wanting to fuck strangers? Uh... no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:05 PM
63

Oh I think I remember this. Was there a fashion section looking at celebrities clothing, a sometimes enjoyable but decidedly trashy pastime, and then saying her boots were an “affordable” $1200? As a full adult, I know that’s not remotely how women who buy $1200 boots select them. As a 20ish woman, I was like “Wow... I could totally see myself as a fancy shoe person...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:03 PM
35

Ooooohh la la 🥂 I’m on board with this one. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:58 PM
9

Oooooffff... I hate there’s an actual answer to what seemed like a rhetorical barb... 😳🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:50 AM
57

You actually can nope the hell out of giving birth. I did. It’s fantastic if other women want that experience but to me? It’s a painful dangerous bloodbath and literally no man would do it. Plus, actually PRIMARILY, women suffer birth injuries ALL THE TIME and no one gives a shit. Oh, it’s just a normal thing to pee all over yourself forever, or have your vagina lock down so tightly from trauma that you can never have sex again. Or your uterus can even fall the fuck out! Seriously. On my first v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:41 AM
32

I “owned” a house- with a man who turned out to be dead weight. Owned should mean owned- not “in possession of a thing that I own 20% of, that costs 10% of to sell and leave.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:55 PM
18

Exactly. The imaginary country where men are the worst. So much worse than we are, you lucky ladies...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:46 PM
26

Agree. Bad men are 100% “real men.” In fact, they’re the majority, so the definition absolutely includes them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:27 PM
57

A little off topic, but I want to pass on a recommendation I heard to scream “He has a bomb!!!” instead of “Rape!” Because yeah, men don’t give a shit when only women will be hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:24 PM
76

They act like it’s mysterious but most of it is easy as hell. They also use the mystery to drag things out forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:19 PM
4

It’s not showing up and I’m super disappointed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:15 PM
11

Has he blessed anyone with his explanation of what he thinks the problem actually is? Seems like probably not...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:13 PM
8

Right. You can articulate what you dislike. That’s the difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:10 PM
24

They already think that about black women regardless, but they know they could get in trouble for directly saying that. But they could get away with saying “her arms” were manly- yet another dog whistle. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:10 PM
12

Yes exactly- going back and forth or giving different answers to different people is problematic. But changing your mind ONCE is the quality of being open minded. And what’s the alternative? If you’re wrong, your only choice is to be wrong forever? Morons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:04 PM
17

Other people here have started modifying words too. I’m also curious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:58 PM
12

Why is everyone suddenly eliminating bad sorts of words? Your extra periods, and I’ve seen others use asterisks in the r word for “lack of permission.” I think to make them unsearchable or not trigger a fil ter, but has something changed to make this necessary?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:57 PM
6

It’s just garden variety peer pressure. You don’t say that a kid has peer pressure to get good grades, you say “good influence” or “group values.” Peer pressure is always something bad and exactly what you’re describing. Edit: You could also say “toxic masculinity,” but that’s broader and doesn’t exactly fit here. It’s drawing in more concepts and can open the door to the conversation being derailed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:47 PM
3

I don’t know... I think it’s more that they’ve convinced themselves that it’s oh so important and crucial to be a mother. Because if they allow themselves to think otherwise, then they’ve wrecked the best years of their life and unlike every other decision, there’s really no (remotely socially acceptable) way out. That’s unbearable to realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:28 PM
31

That’s such an excellent point and I’ve never heard it before. Why, exactly, is second degree murder lesser than first? Yes, first degree required planning, which we all agree is bad, but second means you literally can’t control yourself in the moment. Is that not at least as dangerous?! If women wrote the rules it would be. Actually... now that I think of it... Poisonings are automatically first and poisonings were the preferred method for offing a violent husband. I remember reading that scare…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:52 PM
13

I don’t know if you understand that’s EXACTLY what predators do. Seriously. You lucked out in such a major way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:42 PM
10

Same. Nothing to add just felt this one was worth more than an upvote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:40 PM
2

I mean, this is the old Milton Friedman “The business of business, is business.” which essentially regards companies as feral eating machine animals. Just- whatever you need to do to make money. We’re kind of past that now. With social media we have the power of micro boycotts and shaming bad companies. As a society, we’ve moved toward expecting better and it isn’t ok to fall back on “But...money?” So- you’re not wrong, but it’s fully possible to be more right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:55 PM
23

BlockHimSis! He’s got a point though- he thought you were broken up forever. Don’t disappoint the poor man!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:49 PM
6

Oh ok, that’s a whole separate thing. That’s more of a medical complication and I was thinking complicated like “I’m just never really interested in sex even though I want to be.” Apologies then. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:40 PM
17

Have you never had a shitty boyfriend? How about a not-too-bad boyfriend? THAT is what a man acts like when he feels meh about you. Men just can’t sustain really high effort, for an extended period of time, unless they’re stupid in love. And when they’re stupid in love, they don’t leave. For a 10? What does that even mean? Looks? That isn’t worth much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:34 PM
13

This is the most nauseating upvote I’ve ever given
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:16 PM
3

😂💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:16 PM
7

⚓️🛥🛩🚁⛵️🏦💸💵💰💶💷💴💎🎁🥂🍾🍸🍹🍽 Money. That’s how. 😂 (But then they get pissed when that’s all the women want him for.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:14 PM
14

You know the answer to that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:10 PM
5

Well, yes. That’s the advice I’d give officially. But. 1. It’s just expensive. It’s going to cost a minimum of a $5k retainer in a city, maybe less in a smaller town but at least $2k under any circumstance. Bonus for this: HE will have to cough up the cash to strike first. If he’s sued, he’ll find the money. If he’s just mad, he might not be $5k mad. It’s going to be luck of the draw on whether a judge takes that situation seriously. There really isn’t a smoking gun “OF COURSE she can’t be there…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:01 PM
12

Ehhhhhhhh... Mayyyyyyyybe. Presbyterian school? Yes. Episcopalian school? Yes. But a school this fundamentalist is probably teaching that Catholicism is a cult and the followers are going to hell. That’s an actual thing and a Catholic would have to be really hard pressed for a safe school to go that far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:42 PM
2

😂☠️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:39 PM
15

Fair. I didn’t see that you’re pretty far and your brother is your only connection to the school. You also can just make a quick call to the WXYZ(insert actual letters here) investigative reports line. There’s still a good chance they’ll pick it up- it’s absolutely bonkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:39 PM
3

I mean... Would it be complicated if you didn’t have a history of bad sex?* If you get punched every time you tie your shoes, uh yeah... you’ll prefer slip ons and be pretty hesitant about lace ups. That isn’t “complicated” as much as it’s just a logical response. Making an assumption here, but it’s true for 99.99% of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:58 PM
13

Yeah same. And I use a similar line. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:53 PM
192

Oh true. The angle of “my daughter has to say yes to a player?!” isn’t the cleanest path, but would be a WAY easier sell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:45 PM
89

You can get in touch with a journalist, and that’s good, but what will GET IT DONE is to: Find a journalist who writes on the topic (feminist issues, school issues, negative aspects of religion) AND publishes to the Associated Press. Write (most of) the article yourself and present it as “an outline for you to use.” Essentially offering to let them put their name on your work. Offer a specific person or people to interview. If you happen to know a couple of girls there whose parents would ok wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:41 PM
62

Oh gag. On many accounts. We do. Not. Give. A. Shit. About “sense of humor.” Just as a purely technical matter, ANY woman would stop there because “Oh. I see the value of the extras have dropped to the floor. Done then.” OR “Can I please go back down a floor? Since I’m not even at the top?” because “sense of humor” usually means “I like to make idiotic jokes a lot.” or “Must be fluent in sarcasm.” 🤮 NO KIDDING! on your point about no beauty standards at the “wife store!” Men don’t want an unattr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:08 PM
65

Well... I think that’s where FDS is winning. There are not very many good men left past 30. That information is true. Pre-FDS that meant “So you better grab one fast!!!” Post-FDS that means “So you better vet HARD and also get used to the idea that it may not ever happen.” MAJOR difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:56 PM
4

Yes. And the slang for a woman who does this overtly in favor of her offspring is “boy mom.” Every woman who wants to get married is not a pickme, though they do technically want to be picked. Every woman big game hunter is not a NLOG, even though in actuality they are legitimately not like (very many) other girls. And every woman with sons is not a “boy mom.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:50 PM
3

The boys are his. I suppose he could kick them out... but I’m thinking you misread that they’re step sons and not the girl’s half brothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:43 PM
32

I’m going to second this. The baggy clothes could indicate sexual abuse, or it could indicate that she’s being told she’s responsible for any gross behaviors if she tempts men or boys. Which is a thing that the mom just saw happen. I’m inclined to think the latter, which, frankly, I would consider stand alone sexual abuse. Telling your child to stop tempting people is nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:38 PM
52

Piggybacking here to also recommend just keeping her home. Let HIM file to try and force her to come over. That will take months at best (worst). Also get a ring doorbell AND a camera inside if you ever plan to let him inside again. Check if you’re in a one or two party consent state. If you’re in a two party state, just put a sticker on your door notifying that there are cameras. Get a new SIM card for her cell phone and don’t tell him the number. Obviously talk to your lawyer. Ask “What are th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:29 PM
54

Oh true! So there is precedent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:11 PM
17

Pretending to be in a relationship isn’t next, it was first. He’s over on his Instagram talking about taking his cousin to Cheesecake Factory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:11 PM
14

I just legit gagged at “little girl.” That phrase is 100% wrecked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:09 PM
16

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:06 PM
50

COrrEctiON- I THink yOU meAn heBEphiLIA. PEdophILIA is ONly smALL chILDRen and mEN HavE USed cHEErLeadER p0RN sINce we wERe cAVemEN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:03 PM
45

Exactly. There is a human being, or 12 human beings, making an individual JUDGEment call on every single case. If someone is actually on the list for urinating in public, they must’ve been doing it in the most obscene and inappropriate way or place possible. Also- THAT ISN’T A GOOD EXCUSE. FIND A BATHROOM. Nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:29 PM
175

Legit I think this was the preferred/only way to opt out until recently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:25 PM
118

There are Catholic monks...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:25 PM
1

Ooohhhhhh. I’ll try this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:52 PM
2

That’s usually how it goes. I’ve been there. I hope you can connect with a couple of women in the meantime- it will be an immense help mentally now and later. You can always come here to talk too. We’re behind you 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:49 PM
3

😂☠️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:44 PM
1

Oh. Yes that’s entirely different. If she’s annoyingly obsessed with getting a man, that’s a good reason to fade out but as a kindness, leave some info crumbs. If she’s combative... Yeah, just get out. That’s rough, I’m sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:43 PM
4

I love this account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:32 AM
4

I can see that. A presentation of “this is the way it’s done” without commentary. Sounds interesting - getting it on audible now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:26 AM
7

Send her a link to the main page. Don’t pitch it, just tell her you’ve seen this and like some of it (so you aren’t positioned as needing to defend each thing). If she’s ready, she’ll get it. If she isn’t, she might think of it later. If you don’t push it more than just sending a link, I don’t think it could cause any (additional) problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:20 AM
17

100% And the “benefits” from randos is useless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:34 AM
7

Ugh- that’s cute for those women but it’s toxic. That would be nice I guess, if you were born into a strong, intelligent, mentally healthy, wealthy family and so were they. Otherwise it’s provincial as fuck. What’s important is having friends who support you where you are and where you want to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:31 AM
55

Well... it’s different sexual attention. Less attractive = the mean kind. More attractive = the sleazy tricky kind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:16 AM
26

A blowjob for fucking guacamole? At 26 (to her 25), I also dated a man with the same age gap. He took me to places like the Ritz in Paris and the opera in Amsterdam (from the US) and I still didn’t put my face on it. Jesus. Also, I look back and feel gross- taken advantage of instead of fancy like I thought at the time. He wasn’t suave to my captivating; he was a predator. She’s waxing poetic over guac and I guess him reading an employee handbook to her? Nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:41 AM
23

😂😂😂 Now you just need a death pact and you’ll have cheated the entire system!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:32 AM
4

That’s the first sentence...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:26 AM
3

Ok... I know these women mean well by suggesting you hurry up and get out faster, but if that’s going to be a hardship and compromise your plans, it isn’t necessary. It’s damaging when women do this for years, but they do. All the time. Your guy sounds like a downer more than dangerous. If that’s the case, I think it would be more stressful to move fast than relieving to be free a bit sooner. You said you don’t have family nearby or friends. I think I would take this opportunity to join some sup…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:34 AM
2

Well that’s what I meant. It sounded to me like christianlady was suggesting the 2 posters essentially plagiarized him (“have noted this without referencing his book”). I said it’s a good book but that’s not necessarily where they got the info, because most of his stats came from other places. (Which would also be the case in a book with more citations...) It’s a good book. Wasn’t suggesting it should be anything but what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 11:46 PM
1

Oh at least half. And wasn’t about affording the abortion, I was saying that I’d pay that amount to not involve him at all. If we’re married (and it’s safe), of course I’d discuss it. If I’m single, I would rather pay for it myself than give him ammunition to manipulate me if we stay together, or to try and damage my reputation if we break up. Either way makes sense- although if you’re bothering to deal with him, I think go ahead and demand he pay it all. Again, nothing to do with affording it, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 11:35 PM
13

Question: Did things for children used to be bizarrely focused on “orphans?” That’s just now occurring to me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:45 AM
8

Yes. Because all animals are male or female. Only humans can be women or men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:41 AM
37

Beaten eggs, sugar, vanilla, and maybe milk. So... custard. Definitely going to start calling it “vanilla eggs” so I can have dessert for breakfast and still sound like a responsible adult. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:35 AM
22

You don’t need consent to record yourself going about your day in public. There has to be a reasonable expectation of privacy before the one versus two party consent rules are applied.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:30 AM
6

we get a locker room, too! Hell. Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:22 AM
6

His book isn’t really much original research- it’s just presented as “He’s mean BECAUSE HE’S MEAN. Simple as that.” That is the groundbreaking powerful feature of the book. The original research he did do was more in the style of case studies, not per-population size statistics. A lot of us already knew much of the data from other sources/work/encounters. So I’m seconding the plug for his book, but the posters could’ve gotten the information from lots of places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:59 PM
11

I make men pay for the air I breathe, but I would pay for my own abortion. I’d go to him as a last resort only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:38 PM
20

I’m not a doctor but I know- of course it is. But just like anything else that involves humans- it can’t be entirely emotion free AND there are gray area ways to do anything. She could’ve said “Think really hard about whether you’ll get another chance to be a mother.” or “You know there are some risks. Also fertility declines as you age.” All completely true and factual, buuuuut not really. A pro choice doctor might say “Think really hard about being able to handle a new baby while you’re a new …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:36 PM
25

This is my issue with women doctors- they’re very empathetic. They imagine themselves in your shoes by default. I had one woman doctor that refused to run additional thyroid tests because I needed to just accept my body. I had gained 10-15 pounds; she was significantly overweight and acted like it was a personal attack on her. Second opinion- yes, I had exactly the thyroid problem I expected. The second opinion was still a woman, but she was thin. One friend knew exactly the size breast implants…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:29 PM
9

Cays is 👍🏻💫🙌🏻👌🏻💯🍾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:15 PM
83

Wow. Pulling a HVM with two kids, one an infant, is 💫💯🎊 Impressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:17 PM
14

You don’t need that much love and support to get an abortion...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:14 PM
40

Seconded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:13 PM
4

I was wondering if he lives on a superfund site but yours is more plausible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:10 PM
11

Adding a third person to the dynamic for the purpose of encouraging an imaginary competition. It can be done about “positive” or “negative” things: My ex was so slim and beautiful, she could wear anything. So the new woman will watch her figure. My ex was so bad, she would never wash my underwear. He says that so she’ll wash his underwear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:09 PM
14

Yeah- how are there leftovers if he only orders one dish?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:03 PM
1

This. It’s part of a trading portfolio, it is not a currency. You’re exactly right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:00 PM
6

There’s plenty precedent. There have been direct rulings that it’s an asset like a stock, rather than a currency account, because there was never a question it’s an asset of some kind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:59 PM
42

Sperm bank. Seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:56 PM
79

☠️😂☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:55 PM
31

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:54 PM
96

I think a fair question is, “Oh. I see. What was your intention?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:53 PM
104

Noooooooooooooo When you read it, think of yourself being handed the key to handcuffs! The clouds part, a beam of sunlight shines on you, that “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” singing from the heavens. “Here, is your key. You are free.” Don’t take the key and start feeling sad about the handcuffs. Lady, you’re worth way too much for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:51 PM
1

Pull out a camera and start filming. That’s the best and only prophylactic that’s safe. I don’t know if you’re a POC, but if you are, then what Row said is correct. I think it’s still too dangerous but a white woman might make an effective human shield: everyone knows that the police will get involved if a white woman is hurt. A black woman might wind up hurt and arrested for fighting! That isn’t safe AT ALL. Keep filming. Keep verbally inserting yourself, particularly when one party is at least…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:46 PM
12

Holy shit- just losing the $20 is lucky. It’s just as likely the scam isn’t even for $20, it’s so you’ll get your wallet out for them to steal, or at the ATM he could’ve easily learned his PIN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:37 PM
10

That’s a good lesson but I said ask a woman for help. It’s less likely a child will choose a predator versus a predator choosing them, but enough men are opportunistic fucks that I think it’s still too big a risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:35 PM
17

Well, this isn’t a point against your argument (that men shouldn’t be asking/relying on women for help), but I think women should dial it back on thinking of themselves as burdensome. It’s ok to ask [women] strangers for help- we’re all living in the world together and I would never mind sharing my height or strength or know-how with a woman who isn’t as lucky. Men are too entitled and women aren’t entitled enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:31 PM
8

Next time, if you’re pumping gas, press that call button and ask the attendant to come out and do it. I know it’s hard to think of in the moment, but all pumps have that button.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:24 PM
16

Right?! I was SO shocked to find out that when these dudes say “hiking,” they don’t mean navigating with a compass, climbing rocks, and swinging off trees. It’s usually just walking in a circle on what would be the world’s shittiest sidewalk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:21 PM
11

😂☠️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:18 PM
27

And plenty of murders remain unsolved. Excellent point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:18 PM
32

Whoah whoah whoah. Prince Harry’s racist family wasn’t a problem until he wanted to marry a black woman and that family has a loooooong history of being absolutely dangerous to an unwanted new family member. Then they were stalked by paparazzi, which is the cause of death for his mother! You’re on here quite a bit and I always agree with you, but this is... Unless you know that everyone else doesn’t, we don’t have remotely enough information leaning in the direction of her being a psychopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:17 PM
34

I think I sort of do this- I’m always grabbing doors for women with strollers or pausing to ask if women are lost (a lot of tourists near my home). Just change it to “looking for women and children to help” because you darn well know it isn’t “people” taking advantage, it’s MEN. If you have that kindness instinct, it’s far better and easier to train it in a safe direction rather than override it and become cold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:05 PM
42

Oh this is incredible advice- and actually DO call 911. They won’t mind. This is NOT a misuse of that resource. Either someone is hurt or they’re threatening you and that’s their whole job. I’ve accidentally called a couple of times and they’re never annoyed by it. They just say “Are you sure [it was accidental]? Well let me still get your info to close the call log.” Which has the additional purpose of keeping you on the line while they listen. Even after lots of training I’d never heard this p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 05:57 PM
3

😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:42 AM
6

The questions were things like “Would you have sex with an extremely drunk woman?” “During intercourse, if she says stop, would you continue?” Then “Would you rape a woman?” 30% would do something that is rape. 10% would call it that and still say yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:33 AM
16

I... How... Navy towels and sheets. You are so right and I never once noticed this. Why though...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:21 AM
19

I suppose she could’ve said “massage parlor sex workers,” but race and immigration status are built in and I think it’s more damaging to ignore it. They’re trafficked women. The parlors take the lowest and sleaziest clients. Being banned is a real damned big rejection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:07 AM
46

The symptoms are basically identical to complex PTSD and BPD is just the new “hysteria.” Mostly diagnosed in abused women leaving their manipulative husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:56 AM
17

That’s EXACTLY my position. In theory I don’t care if a man cheats, so long as it has literally no effect on me. But that doesn’t happen- completely impossible. They always start getting distracted or busy or lazy; and those things are solid, independent reasons for me to dump him anyway. It’s never worth monitoring or tracking down the precise location of his penis. Just call it if he starts sucking as a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:40 AM
29

A medium attractive woman who is slobbering all over a dick (theirs or indiscriminately, as in porn) is attainable. A TV news anchor is not. So they’ll cut her down, essentially for being a snob. It’s classic sour grapes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:25 AM
2

Yup. Rephrasing it is just another version of “Communicate better.” They know. And if they wanted to, they would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:32 AM
97

😂😂😂 I don’t know why but it’s tickling me to think of a big, bounding, slobbery lab walking around being friendly and you scolding. “Margot, stop being such a pickme. You don’t need their petting to validate you!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:09 AM
14

Exactly. The only acceptable thing to say to a child standing alone is “Do you need help?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:03 AM
64

Oh MOST, I would say. I got the bright idea to “vet” men and delay sex by saying “But you know sex can make babies, right? I want to wait until that’s something we would be ok with.” Number of men who got turned off: ZERO Number who said “I’d love to have a baby with you”: A dozen at least- before I finally gave up on what seemed like such a clever, slam dunk thing to say. I’m talking about as a date number THREE delay tactic. Three dates and they’re like sure, let’s have a baby. Why are men?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:58 AM
33

YES!!! Each person decides what stays in or comes out of their own body and his turn is first! GTFOutta here with trying to continue to control shit you left INSIDE ANOTHER HUMAN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:50 AM
1

Np 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:25 AM
1

The words matter. Is he saying “The universe made us for each other?” Because that’s a little problematic for making you feel attached to him without him earning it, but that isn’t what’s being discussed here. If he’s saying YOU were made for HIM, he thinks of you as an accessory and he is a narcissist to the max. Not romantic at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:32 AM
8

It only took the first two sentences and I knew what you were going to recommend. I love the phrase “Grow a pair!” Because, you know, that would make you tougher and less vulnerable...? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:19 AM
3

It isn’t mostly full of creeps, but the bad ones are prolific while the good ones are not. A good man will message, let’s say 5 women for polite conversations, go on 2-3 dates, and get 1 girlfriend; OR he will quit at that point. A sleaze will message 300 women to say something gross, trick 5-6 into a shitty date; and then he will just repeat the whole cycle. In that situation, 305 messages- 5 nice/300 sleazy. 9 get dates: 6 dates where the guy is taking the piss to 3 ok enough ones. And one wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:48 PM
18

Gotta say, this is probably the most harmless possible use of the app for someone in early pickme recovery. “Oh look, I can see that so many men want to talk to me! See! I’m a hot commodity and penis is all too abundant. So I don’t need to put up with any nonsense from anyone!” Then delete the app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:35 PM
5

Oh god what a horrifyingly specific answer to your question. I would’ve said “I really just meant like, what you had for lunch, but thanks for clarifying.” Then block. I know it’s petty but I don’t think I could resist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:28 PM
10

Do you live on your own? If so, just hang up the phone or walk out when you don’t like the turn the conversation is taking. Explain yourself one time and then every time after that, just say, “That’s enough.” and hang up or go. No more explanations, no more letting yourself get upset, just calmly go. They’ll either stop or only have very brief interaction with you. This is what I did with family that wanted to argue politics. They kept acting like I’d never addressed the “argument” they were mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:22 PM
9

She needs to have her manager be direct- it isn’t her responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:14 PM
3

I think they’re talking about the ACLU backing sex work advertising. Or rather, opposing laws that make the publisher liable (SESTA/FOSTA). They opposed it because if you make a host liable for crimes committed using its platform, you’re implicitly requiring the service to censor everything. It would be like making the telephone company liable if someone used a phone to sell drugs. They could only prevent that by monitor their customers. That’s never been done before, so in the opinion of the AC…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:59 PM
28

This. I can’t remember any of the statistics, but a huge percentage of women who think they’re sex/love addicts are actually alcoholics. I’m not trying to open the door of defining either of those issues, but if you only have regrettable sex when you drink, the drink is the problem. At a minimum, only drink with responsible girlfriends. Possibly think about quitting entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:46 PM
9

I gotta say... I don’t hate that one. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:04 PM
28

What’s crazy is that women feel that way about BOYFRIENDS. If you promise to back each other up, forever, I can see taking some thought to decide “No. This is not what I signed up for.” Maybe. I don’t know. But a BOYFRIEND?! The thought process should be “I don’t enjoy this- bye.” WTAF. Don’t stick by some forever boyfriend through his depression or sex addiction or wtf ever “reason” they’re using today. Who cares why? Just go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:59 PM
47

I won’t have the conversation unless the man is in a position to actually do something. Policy makers- for government, business, school, sports- anything really. But yeah, I’m not trying to explain women’s issues to some scrote who just like PLayIng dEViL’s AdVOCatE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:51 PM
10

The therapist part is also important because it reduces the emotional charge when you do decide to tell someone. If you haven’t yet, just a few sessions can be life changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:48 PM
9

Fair enough. I’ve seen plenty slick men fawn their way out of responsibility and I didn’t want that to be you. But if you know what’s up, I absolutely defer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:42 PM
5

💫😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:38 PM
5

Awwww thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:38 PM
13

I didn’t get into that as much because the dog part was such a slam dunk that I didn’t want to super think through whether each thing was a fantasy or plausible. But yes, I agree - the ages and overall volume of “activities” listed also sound improbable and more like a scrote fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:13 PM
23

Oh absolutely and I think it still supports your point: the same person wrote those. So either it’s a woman demonstrating that the behaviors are connected, or a man fantasizing about both scenarios. Violence is violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:02 PM
20

Oh. Thank you I never would’ve guessed that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:57 PM
62

I mean... Maybe if they stopped seeing escorts? Or are you their first time? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:08 PM
23

What’s a HLM?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:03 PM
69

This is 100% men writing women. Badly. Women don’t say “wet and horny” and the dog licking thing is a super common guy fantasy but makes no sense to anyone who understands what would feel good to a woman. Have you seen a dog lick something?! Does it looks like that would be enjoyable, or does it look like what every limp dick porn sick dude thinks you would like? I rest my case. This is what men dream of- an extremely damaged women who only thinks about their pleasure. Did you notice they even t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:56 PM
47

No. Not everyone is “a little toxic.” That’s some serious gaslighting, kumbaya moral relativism and its horseshit. There’s an extremely clear line between “human flaw” and toxic: who is it hurting? If you only do your dishes every other day, that’s a human flaw. If you leave them to pile up until someone else breaks down and does it-that’s toxic. If you have a trust fund and just work a fun part time job, that’s the human flaw of being lazy. If your family is starving because you won’t work, tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:40 PM
8

Search “front door security” on Amazon. There are MUCH better options than something heavy behind the door. Also, I know some people have privacy concerns about the echo dots, but you can program them to call 911, your mom, or anyone, along with your location. They’re so cheap it’s an easy yes for me, but do your own research.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:04 PM
17

This is perfect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:35 PM
18

Yes! Do not steal pie day!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:25 PM
86

You “ruined a company vehicle?” No. You suffered a workplace injury. And yes, the person who was financially liable for your injuries was kind to you in the aftermath. Go to your own doctor and have them file it as a workman’s comp case. Whiplash can last a week or forever- you need a consistent medical record. Edit: to clarify, unless you swerved for the purpose of crashing the vehicle, it was, at most ordinary negligence. Which you might be surprised to know is not REMOTELY considered your “fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:22 PM
28

You must not know- kneeling is a universal symbolic threat of violence, always has been. Royalty and churches just require it because they like it when people start shit. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:06 PM
18

Gotta say, as a resident of a large city in the US, I can’t imagine the first example. At least our police are consistent in their brutality? (Sarcasm. Bit too sensitive a topic to risk a wrong reading)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:04 PM
172

Hell yes. I’m not competing, YOU ARE. If you’re still shopping, in ANY WAY, then you are not the one - BYE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:56 PM
20

If a woman is trying to recalibrate her bad-dude detector, it can be wise to set a time requirement for her own benefit. If you’ve been hopping right into bed and then getting burned, you could easily feel like you want to when you still shouldn’t. Absolutely shouldn’t tell him that timeline, but for those of us raised as good little libfems, “ready to” happens far too early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:54 PM
19

I think she expressed concern that he was using her and his defense was “Nuh uh- I talk to you every day, that’s PROOF I’m not using you.” In fact, it isn’t proof at all. Many users will do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:49 PM
5

3 is interesting. That never occurred to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:44 PM
50

There’s nothing inflammatory about the words “pick me,” the term is only derogatory because of its definition. We could call them “beautiful princesses” and then that phrase would acquire a negative meaning. Defending men in a bid to vy for their attention is bad no matter what we call it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:43 PM
13

This was my reading! Of fucking course they’re worried and ashamed they’re out earning their partners! Ashamed of those men! How can he possibly interpret that info to mean anything else?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:20 PM
12

Preach! More divorce = bad? Not for women, it doesn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:18 PM
68

Hopefully you learned your lesson about revealing your past - a good dude won’t need an explanation for waiting and a bad dude will. Not. Give. A. Shit. Tell him after you’re married (if you want that) AND after you’ve discussed it with a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:06 PM
4

Chasing someone, on its own, isn’t assault. Civil assault requires they make a specific threat- verbally or with an undeniably violent gesture (displaying a weapon, for example) PLUS a physical action in your direction. That’s common law civil assault and the victim could file a civil lawsuit. If they do those things PLUS touch you in any way, that’ll civil battery. The touch doesn’t have to be related to the other two elements, so: Show a knife, chase you, then just tap you on the shoulder and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:12 PM
10

I’ll add take a cell phone photo of him. He knows most phones back up automatically to the cloud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:58 PM
58

Don’t refer to FDS, but it’s good to work in a few statements of principle and gauge their reaction. When watching a movie with a pickme, “Wow is she foolish. Women don’t need men, men need women!” Some reference is made to a woman paying, in person or tv/movie, “Ha! I’d be right out that door. Block and delete!” HVM will laugh and agree with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:03 PM
57

A man with decent self control and moderate social intelligence will look PERFECT for six months AT LEAST. If he can’t hide every single bit of misogyny for even two months? He’s either extremely misogynistic and this is his good behavior, or he isn’t capable of good behavior when it conflicts with his impulses. Girl, you’re in danger!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:59 PM
1

Most of us only just recently discovered it’s a pervasive problem and not something we personally are doing incorrectly. We got birth control and that was a big jump. Now we have information and hopefully this is our new turning point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:45 PM
2

Well... This involved his LinkedIn information so I was making some assumptions about the level of job involved and the level of “need” you mentioned for a new job. So yes, I see what you mean. Nothing wrong with keeping a few “break in case of emergency” contacts. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:43 PM
27

Public accommodation. If you sell one single thing to just anyone, you can’t exclude women. They can’t have banquets or weddings, and those clubs have gone so far as moving their mail delivery to technically off the property so no one can say a “member of the general public” (the postal delivery person) was allowed there. It’s mind blowing they’ll go that far to exclude us, but that’s why they can have that and still attack women’s spaces. They’re willing and able to get a team of lawyers devote…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:37 PM
17

Love it. Interesting side message of FDS is that this system is ALSO HURTING MEN. I hadn’t thought of that before, because it isn’t the point, but it’s true. We advocate just walking away from LVM because we can’t change them but, in fact, they are fully capable of changing themselves when it’s internally motivated on their part. We’re told that keeping a man is normal and part of our vitality, but then we feel awful all the time and don’t know why. “Pssssssstt... Hey lady, you over there. That’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:29 PM
9

Yes!!! That’s the exact definition of smashing the patriarchy: saying “Why the fuck have I been timid and crying over men, while the most mediocre of them walks around with their head held high?” Then walking away from them and into your own success. You WON. Congratulations 🎉🍾🎊🎈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:59 PM
10

Yup. It would KILL them to find out there are basically no women with naturally pale blonde hair after age 16 or so. They see what they want to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:05 AM
19

Oh god. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:01 AM
14

😂☠️😂 I always say I’m not arguing unless I’m billing so yes, exactly! Are you billing the devil? Or is this pro bono? LOVE IT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:58 AM
12

Krav Maga. Not a perfect solution but definitely good information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 12:51 AM
3

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:56 PM
19

“...we do not oppress anyone. Except maybe dumbass freeloaders who don’t know how to wash their balls but DO know how to waste a lady’s time.” No. Refusing to be taken advanced of still isn’t oppression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:54 PM
4

I don’t think they’re the kind of places you’re looking for...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:48 PM
55

But only twice per relationship ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:44 PM
9

I would only marry if I would clearly make money in the event of a divorce. Doesn’t sound like that’s in your favor, so..... no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:42 PM
4

They’re also never going to hire someone just to get laid. Sleeping, or flirting, your way to the top is a myth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:32 PM
2

They want to lock you down before you show up and see that you have a lot of choices. Seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:29 PM
8

This is a great idea. You have their boss’s info right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:26 PM
36

We definitely “other” the problem. Thinking, “Oh, that mostly happens to: uneducated women, republican women, baby boomers and my generation is better, and so on.” Then we’re all somehow an exception. Social media is the first chance we’ve had to see how pervasive this is, and women are opting out of kids in droves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:22 PM
18

You don’t have shitty friends, you have typical friends. If you’re looking for data, it’s EVERYWHERE. American time use survey, or something like that, is pretty comprehensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:17 PM
19

Jesus Christ- since when did the police (not even the DA...) pass judgment on the veracity of random personal accounts on social media. STAY IN YOUR LANE, ASSHOLES. If you don’t think there’s a crime, don’t investigate. Simple. But shut the hell up commenting on individual personal accounts to present your “Well on the other hand.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:12 PM
6

Kids only know what you teach them. The world is two teams and you’re on Team A. This is what Team A people do: We just got lucky in the parent department. She did not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:00 PM
5

Bank!!! I forgot that! The laundry chute was the deposit box and we’d be in the basement countin’ up them stacks. In hindsight, a 6 year-olds version of making it rain. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:57 PM
2

Why not just take the children outside to catch lizards and roll in the dirt? That would be a boss ass mother. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:55 PM
10

See, that’s the great thing about playing pioneer. You go out in the wilderness, hunt, actually build a home, then go inside with your baby dolls to make them really plain food and even smaller dolls for them to play with. 😂 I’m just now thinking- I don’t think I’d hate that life, now that I think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:51 PM
4

Same. I played pioneer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:47 PM
63

But the vaginas belong to them, of course they should get a say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:12 PM
6

If you want to look older, wear structured clothes and jewelry in gold and pearls. Keep a medium length manicure in red or pale pink. Wear heels. Wear your hair in a low ponytail or bun. As you’ve noted, your appearance can make people take you less seriously, but it can also make them take you more seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:09 PM
5

You can do 23andme then use geneticlifehacks. com to analyze the genetic info. The latter doesn’t store or even download your info, it works through your browser and has a cheap, easy to cancel on PayPal, monthly fee. MTFR is the gene she’s talking about. I have a slight variation (not the extreme one) and just started that same supplement myself. Combine that with a pretty standard blood draw- just ask your doc to check your vitamin levels. If you can’t do that, you can use privatemdlabs. com. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:02 PM
17

Everywhere but their heads
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:43 PM
18

If you message a mod from both the new account and the old account, proving they’re both yours, they could easily flair the new one based on the old. That would be my suggestion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:40 PM
16

Exactly. Fight OR flight. It confuses the hell out of them that we advocate flight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:26 PM
6

You won’t get noticed until you have a top post that moves over to the main page on Reddit OR you say something vaguely annoying to a scrote on a random forum. That’s been my impression anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:24 PM
9

Exactly. A woman who is decidedly not FDS might spend years molding herself into his ideal, trying to bump into him whenever possible, etc. It certainly happens that a woman could veer into the kind of stalking that makes anyone uncomfortable. HOWEVER, there is not the underlying threat of physical violation, which is pretty f’ing germane to the problem, AND A PRIMARY POINT of FDS is advising women to stop that! We say stop that because it’s unhealthy for the woman, but the side effect is that F…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:14 PM
2

Thank you. Baby boomers out here saying “We’re the most mature and responsible generation, but please refer to us as ‘young’ until we’re literally dead.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:01 PM
24

Then what is? I mean, mayyyyybe one year shy, you could argue that. But surely 70 is elderly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:52 AM
6

If you’re dating men for money and also spending on salons and makeup and clothes- you’re doing it wrong. How can you have everything you want? Unless you have a gigantic endless trust, that’s hella small minded. Money. That’s the other thing you probably need more of. You can STILL expect a man to pay and then put your own money in the bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:09 AM
13

Are you posting on other subs where angry men spend time? I have mail and chat turned on but I’ve literally never checked them. However, every time I post on a generic sub, the karma on a lot of my recent posts will go down. It’s hilarious. These scrotes will go through my comment history. They know you can’t actually use karma for anything, right? 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:51 AM
5

This is why we can’t eliminate memes. Solid work. 😂😁👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:47 AM
30

She should read the names of women killed by men. Aaaand done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:43 AM
110

A whole lot of us have boyfriends, many have husbands, but the mantra is never stop vetting. Click subscribe and stick around. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:41 AM
44

I think “Being an extreme pickle backfires” would cover it 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:34 AM
40

Boom. This right here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:33 AM
7

Lady, you need to get your shit together enough to take on responsibility for the bills. Get meds or something but that’s a golden opportunity- don’t piss it away. Then pull out bits of cash as often as possible, stash it in a safe deposit box, and promptly “forget” it. If you can only sneak out $5 a week, after a year that’s a night in a hotel. $10 a week, stay 2 years, that’s enough for an inexpensive DIY divorce. If you can hide more, even better. Baby steps. Maybe you will legitimately never…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:30 AM
14

I interpreted it as him thinking he’s being profound - “It wasn’t really about the dishes, men. She just wanted me to care.” Yeah, care... about the dishes, you lazy asshole. He thinks his participation is important as a symbolic expression that he cares. Why would she give a shit about the feelings of a dead weight husband? He still doesn’t get it because he still doesn’t understand that he’s actually supposed to contribute. That man is insipid and it makes my blood boil to think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:21 AM
7

Actually, he’s been really outspoken about getting in depth therapy when his son was small. He did an interview with Anderson Cooper about how he’d had full on psychoanalysis. Plus some of his outrageousness was for ratings in the first place. So correct, you don’t naturally grow up in your 50’s, but it seems like he’s work hard at it. It’s entirely possible he’s a better man now. (Also possible this is an act. Could go either way.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:03 AM
7

Exactly. We would need no cops but a gigantic military
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:06 PM
20

But ARe yOU Mad THouGH?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:59 PM
37

Ok not the point at all, but I’m cackling to think of a grown man cowering from something canine like. Uh Bob, that’s a miniature horse. Come out from behind the sofa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 05:08 PM
1

That can be designated her own savings in a prenup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:38 AM
47

I wonder if she meant out discussions on the literal garbage (and shit) some men won’t clean off their ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:12 AM
3

Also agree. I think the memes can be mixed in, but yeah, don’t show off that you schooled a scrote and check if it’s a frequent repost. Generally though, that’s what the karma system is for- roll our eyes and click the down arrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 04:15 AM
2

Nooooooooooooo This dude won’t pay alimony. Out of what? If they weren’t married, she could walk right out the door at no expense, immediately qualify for aid from the state, have presumptive 100% custody of the child (until he fights for more, and judges never hand over infants to unmarried fathers), PLUS get at least 20% of his income anyway for child support. More if the baby is with her all the time. You are absolutely correct - for a rich man. Which is the only type of man you should have a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:32 AM
79

The shittiest part about these laws is that a woman with money can always find a doctor who believes her “life is in danger.” Even if not, she just flies somewhere else. This only affects women who can’t afford that, and now they have another mouth to feed. These men are disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:58 AM
9

Answer : “As little as possible.” After follow up: “I work but work is boring.” and pivot to another topic. Or- understate it. Are you a doctor? You “work in a doctors office.” Research professor? You “work in a lab.” A CPA “I do taxes.” Describe the building more than your job. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:51 AM
6

I’m confused. You don’t want to be dependent, so do you want to be interdependent or independent? You can’t be both. A man who wants an independent woman is saying, very specifically and literally, “She should not depend on me.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:47 AM
3

Why use a name at all? Mine just says “The person you are calling” or something like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 07:03 AM
12

Eh... I always get things in a relationship. When I’m single, I’m buying my own clothes and food and salon visits, etc., so I get fewer things actually. But shockingly, I’m always stacking paper when single, not so much when partnered. It’s because men suck up my time and energy which I otherwise would be selling. Quite the dilemma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:07 AM
25

Agree. Why in the hell is every woman charged with being a pro-bono police officer and detective? As a practical matter yes, it’s necessary, but it SHOULD NOT BE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:01 AM
7

How was that a question?!? The answer should’ve been “Who? Wait, what? Your dad is alive? I have a grandfather?!?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:25 PM
276

A humiliation fetish is when a man gets off on being humiliated. There’s no word for a man who gets off on humiliating women; it’s just: man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:18 PM
2

There are good organizations to support women in sex work- some focus on safety at the time, some on helping women get out. I would 100% support a student counseling center having that information available- because it is happening. BIG however, it shouldn’t be worked into ordinary campus life as a fun opportunity. It should be with the other crisis information: Considering suicide: Call this number. Being abused: Call this number. Involved in sex work: Call this number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:50 PM
4

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:17 PM
7

Exactly. Have they considered that all the male attention comes with the unfortunate side effect of... male attention?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:48 PM
10

This is also true about women getting older. “You’ll be invisible!” Women: Really?! When?! This is gonna be amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:47 PM
6

Ummmmm... 20 years ago in the US, it was ONLY women calling for an end to circumcision. The dads were all “Hey! Are you saying MY dick is damaged?! There’s nothing wrong with it and the only way I can prove that is to make my own sons match.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:45 PM
1

So... he thinks you should use the tree as an earth humidifier?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:34 PM
39

😳😳😳 I’ve heard of parents trying to “handle it at home” so the sons don’t have a police record and that’s disgusting enough. But to just ignore it?!? Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:23 PM
3

I don’t use it- Ms. for all. Or Dr., of course. This is the ultimate FU to that system and I recommend it highly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:20 PM
20

Oh yes I am 😁 Five is pretty much my dating executive summary. 😂 (But yes, most of what gets railroaded into being called “gold digging” is just wanting a man who adds more than he takes.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:40 PM
69

Exactly this. If a woman offers and the man says “Ok,” that just means he listens to your words rather than impose his idea of traditional values on you. I don’t know why you would give a test to intentionally eliminate these men. Leave the check on the table, smile, and judge him. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:09 PM
38

But why would he ask? The only possible reason to ask instead of wait and see, is that he wants to save HIS money and HIS time. Go ahead and give him that- “Lol, boy bye.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:04 PM
3

Is that his body comp?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:02 PM
25

I think the term you’re actually thinking of is “boyfriend.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:15 PM
1

That’s just the economic damages calculation, and that’s the smallest part of a civil liability case. Proving liability for physical injury is hard, emotional/mental is nearly impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:13 PM
6

True on both accounts. But the big problem is cost, especially versus payoff. Those civil damages for murder lawsuits are generally against the mega wealthy, but also, the clincher is that there was already a murder investigation and a trial. Which means the state already paid the cost of putting together the case. They couldn’t hit the criminal standard of proof, but that evidence is still sitting there ready to be reused. It’s just too expensive if there wasn’t already an investigation. Then i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:11 PM
79

I was also 😳about the shell shock plus cover-up. I can’t think through the scenario where murdering a baby is part of a flashback. Unless it was a flashback to murdering foreign babies during a war? Because that’s the ok kind of baby killing that men do all the damned time. Barring that, how would that even happen? Answer: it didn’t. The “shell shock” is just a plain ole everyday rage murder, and hiding the body is just plain entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:05 PM
50

Well, the story included the baby’s mother spending the rest of her life being tuned out to the point of being essentially comatose. So in this one particular case, it seems like she’s getting a “pass.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:59 PM
17

I mean... the movie version is “a little” abnormal and degrading. What actually goes on is off the damned wall absurd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:56 PM
24

Appreciate the insider confirmation. Yeah- I don’t even get the appeal for the men. Paying escort rates to cum in public? I think for some bizarre reason they’ve decided it doesn’t “count” if you cheat in this specific way. Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:54 PM
14

It’s a big southern city thing. Old boys club, women stay in the kitchen atmosphere. It all goes together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:34 AM
29

Touching dancers is definitely variable by location. In the bigger cities in the southeast, it’s almost expected that a man will... finish. Texas- total opposite. Strip clubs are bizarrely acceptable business lunch places. But no/minimal touching. North of the Mason Dixon- it’s sleazy enough that no one talks (in polite company) about going so I have no idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:30 AM
15

I’d bet anything it’s only because they can’t afford it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:10 AM
41

You are correct. It’s satire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:07 AM
5

When I lived in a suburb of younger couples? All the time. Multiple times a day. In the middle of the city? Not once in years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:07 AM
17

The only power men have EVER had over women is the fact that women care what happens to their offspring. Give women birth control, abortion, divorce with custody to the mother, and actually stop rape? They’ve got nothing. As just a few decades of the pill has shown. Improving the state of being a mother is absolutely feminist. But if you, as an individual, want to immediately subvert the entire system, don’t have kids. It frees the woman and is a powerful protest move for the benefit of other wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:00 AM
31

Yeah sure, I’m a mega high earner and leaving was no problem. But guess who had to deal with the school if there was a problem? Me. Even though the most important thing her father did all day was pick a sandwich for lunch, the school expected ME to handle anything. Guess who was treated like a pariah for being attractive and single? Even now, my daughter will “Why didn’t you xyz for me?” and NEVER EVER says that about her father. If I were a man, every single person would say I was father of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:51 AM
20

I think that’s probably because a CF woman has decided against the norm, so it was a deep thoughtful decision. Men who don’t want kids probably think that’s just normal, and they’ll want them when it’s time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:34 AM
28

This was huge for me. All the other dating advice centers on “You can do better!” The evidence suggests that is probably not true. Conclusion: settle, I guess? NO. You may not be able to do better. FDS Conclusion: live your life without a (bad) man- you’re going to be just fine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:40 PM
24

Then you are way lucky because my experience has been primarily: 4) Gets off on [the power trip he gets from] making me orgasm. Insists every encounter results in you having multiple orgasms or he sulks endlessly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:26 PM
26

I think this survives in a sneaky way- maybe the origin of “you can’t get pregnant from a rape.” Typical. We can’t have anything nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:21 PM
12

WHAT? Good grief I’m glad I’m a little bit older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:16 PM
8

Whoah. Deep thought from momma. I’d never thought of it that way, but it is an escalation on its own. You’re totally right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:07 PM
2

My mom had a college degree and we were born in the very late 70’s-80’s. My father’s mother had a PhD and was a special Ed teacher. She didn’t have a choice in that she was a brainwashed victim herself, but culturally she was well past being stuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:29 AM
8

Some subs auto ban based on participation in other subs. Message the mods there and if they’re reasonable (I have no idea), they’ll remove it. Some of those are more strict, some are broad to be preemptive but they’ll manually remove it pretty easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:14 AM
23

Your plastic medal 💍💫🏅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:01 AM
27

No the opposite. Simps buy nice rings outright. This dude wants to make it clear he is not a simp, and boy is he going whole hog on proving that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 06:26 AM
105

There’s a business saying, “Fail fast.” If it only works because you’re constantly propping things up, it will still fail eventually, but you’ll have wasted more time and money. When it comes to men- fail fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:47 AM
70

💯 If you want to have a discussion, you can sit down. Although, I think that when I’ve felt uncomfortable about a man standing during an argument, that’s my gut telling me he’s a full on bad dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:44 AM
29

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:37 AM
159

Exactly. “We need to have enough working-age people to carry the load of these seniors, who DESERVE their retirement, they DESERVE all their entitlements, and they're gonna live out another 30 years.” The fuck they do! They paid NO taxes and ran everything into the ground. They deserve jack shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:24 AM
3

So “COmmuNIcAtion!!!” Basically. Great idea! I’m sure the problem has already been solved as we speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:45 PM
10

Because if he has a license, there are rules and laws governing his behavior. A man just having a PhD can legally reveal secrets, have sex with people who talk to him (as though he were a psychologist), he can tell them damaging things, is not a mandatory reporter, and so on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:33 PM
10

Hell yeah- keep that jewelry! I don’t throw away money I earn at a shitty job, why would I toss jewelry I earned?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:29 PM
75

I would add to this- don’t do substitute activities for the sake of maintaining some technical definition of “purity.” Oral sex isn’t less bonding or damaging than PIV. Anal is certainly worse. Do not spend one second thinking about how to maintain a socially acceptable sexual history. This is about taking care of yourself, right now. Doing what feels good and right to you. It is not about avoiding shame from others in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:56 PM
47

100% PMS = take no shit mode. If the same things make you angry every month, it’s time to eliminate the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:34 PM
36

Well, that’s actually accurate. (The biblical part, not the CDC part.). And that’s why women should completely avoid these men. Religion is 100% on the side of men- always has been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:24 PM
94

They CAN’t eVen HUg A woMAn aT WoRk ANyMoRE!! Like... Good? That’s exactly what we wanted? They’re no shit expecting us to panic over losing random scrote hugs and “compliments.” 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:34 PM
5

HOW is that legal? Is it? I’m so used to government regulated titles, it hadn’t occurred to me that if there’s advice to get an accredited degree, there must be available, sketchy but apparently legal, non-accredited degrees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:29 PM
48

Don’t really understand the downvotes- we know men project their thoughts and intentions onto us. If a man said “Have you ever had a crush on a woman or found a woman sexually attractive?” I would think he’s trying to casually float some sexual scenarios.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:59 AM
5

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:12 AM
66

Heating pad, weighted blanket, puppy. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:02 AM
40

Hmmmmm... I’m having a hard time imagining this question without it sounding like you’re hinting at some poly/kink type of situation. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just that I don’t think I could pull it off. I do like the idea of intentionally checking for homophobia though (instead of just waiting to see).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:11 AM
31

Why are you still investigating a career path that will leave you poor and with already foreseeable ethical conflicts? Women who have a calling to the lower paying professions don’t ask questions like this. They can’t imagine doing anything else, they give it their all, and then figure out the details at the end of their program. If you aren’t one of those women, pick money. Money money money. If you have no particular calling, go for accounting while you figure it out. Understanding finances is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 09:37 PM
7

Seriously I bake a cake (I never cook), get a cute (not romantic) card, and get a thoughtful $10ish gift. Like a golf or wine gadget. Just for scale, I spend at least $100 on any friend gift, and I expect chunky 18k gold jewelry from him. It’s never been an issue. If it ever was- bye. I’M not vying for a role as provider- he IS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 09:17 PM
20

Because a woman who wants NSA sex will be comparing men based on their performance. These dudes know they can’t compete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 07:38 PM
2

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:55 PM
19

Then use a scrambled dude voice and a baseball cap?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:54 PM
22

💯 Doorman building all the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:47 PM
14

Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:46 PM
10

That is... elaborate but I like it. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:45 PM
14

Couldn’t the wasp spray blow back on you though? If it legit causes permanent blindness, I think the bear spray is safer for us to use.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:41 PM
27

I use Alexa enabled plugs for the lamps and an echo dot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:34 PM
20

Seconding the vinyl film. I rented a house for a bit that had a big beautiful window- in full view of the street. I love sunlight too much to have curtains- the vinyl clings did the job perfectly. (Absurd to need them for a window in the back, but that’s where we are...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:28 PM
22

She might not be and that’s totally fine. I’ve had times where I was lazy and unmotivated or angry, and I was just fine with that. It would’ve been a GENIUS move to realize “Huh... Only a really shitty, probably exploitative dude would want me right now, so it’s probably best I just opt out for now.” I’ve read some posts where women seem down on themselves, but this doesn’t read that way to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:10 AM
11

I hit em with a percentile. “I’d say... 70th percentile?” I told one man 30th percentile. He didn’t like that. I wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t generously padded that number by 30 😂😳🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:00 AM
26

Exactly this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:47 PM
18

This is why I think Universal Basic Income is the answer to this and MANY other feminist issues. Some women are kidnapped and chained, but most of the trafficked women end up trapped because they needed money for the basics and had nowhere to turn. Give everybody a check. Then if Sally wants to show her boobs for thousands of dollars, I’m more inclined to think it’s a big whatever. But with so many desperate women, you have to shut the whole thing down to stop the exploitation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:44 PM
6

Does SWERF mean sex work exclusionary or sex worker exclusionary? If it means sex work- is it even a slur? It’s just descriptive, I think... (I’ve never used it, but I’ve seen it and didn’t realize it was a slur.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:37 PM
18

I enjoy watching her reaction, but I don’t like it. Push him out- badass, but following him was dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:31 PM
36

Well... Turn him into a sieve. Do NOT threaten to turn him into a sieve. Every chance he’d take it from you and then HE would have a gun. Don’t just know how to use it- be emotionally ready to use it. And never threaten- there should be milliseconds between the gun being visible and someone being dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:28 PM
-3

It’s standard practice in the US. You can look at any of the subs on the topic or do a google search. I provided a pretty detailed explanation that’s super easy to check. I have to admit though, I think I read over the main point of your post. Add me to the list of people who won’t continue this conversation with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 10:47 PM
8

Tried neural feedback? How did you find it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:25 PM
7

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:24 PM
29

It “kept them safe” as compared to street walking. When they have a computer as a buffer, they can require ID, trace the phone number, verify employment, and at a minimum give any information they do have to a friend, including where they’re going and when they should expect to them to check-in. And they do this- there are subs on reddit that discuss this. (Morbid curiosity reading on my part.) Of course, someone could make a fake ID, get a burner phone, and be sure to be quick about their crime…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:59 PM
66

Yes. Cheaters cheat. I’m going to point out a slight variation on that. Let’s say some specific, intentional, unnatural to you action would keep him from cheating. Ok. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeding that meter? Just to get a basic component of a relationship? What an utter nightmare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:27 PM
23

Ha! I read this as “No amount of great sex, personality, food, will...”. Expecting: “Make a man worth keeping if he’s disrespectful.” Or something like that. Hell to the no on ME providing that shit!!! Jesus christ. Raise the bar, lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:21 PM
3

You have to be smooth and ask at a different time but things like “Did your wife want the divorce or did you?” They think it makes them sound loyal to say the wife wanted it, but actually it clarifies that she was not, in fact, so crazy he had to leave. “What kind of work did she do? (before kids if applicable)” If she’s a CPA who quit to stay home with the kids, my money is on he’s an asshole, not that she randomly went crazy(his words)/has BPD. An example that might match having BPD could be “…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:06 PM
106

Also the “work” should feel like a project you enjoy, not like slaving away for an angry boss at a minimum wage job. I see so many women confuse the two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:45 PM
23

Such men? That’s all I’ve ever dated and I use straight FDS without modifications. I suppose I don’t identify with worries over video game addictions- it’s more likely his addiction is work. You don’t have to worry about them doing household chores because no one does that in their home. Also their “porn” is more likely to be an actual person. I’ve never found a stash of pictures or videos; I have found mistresses and sex workers. Otherwise, it all seems the same to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:39 PM
34

Yes. 100%. It’s an immediate NOPE from me if a man says his ex has BPD. ESPECIALLY if it was diagnosed during divorce/child custody issues. It sounds EXACTLY like the behavior of an abused woman who no one will take seriously. OR the behavior of a woman who won’t shut up and toe the party line of doing everything for everyone. The first couple of times, I would say ok, but then ask follow up questions when a story didn’t fit what they’d told me before. This is absolutely not allowed, only loads …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:50 PM
3

Banned/blocked/deleted comments. I’m not clear on if they’re preemptively stopped by the mods or quickly deleted, but either way you’ll get the notification then see no comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:37 PM
9

Oh 100% on “It’s a feature, not a bug.” Similar thing with the walks- if I delay at all, she whines. Continuously. Some men think that’s awful because she should “behave.” But I say she’s my depression service dog. 😁 (She has pads available, so her whining isn’t about needing to potty. Just to clarify.) Also, when I have dinner, I make my pup a small plate of the same. (She always has dry food available.) If she doesn’t get a plate, she’ll sit there staring at you and maybe a soft whine if you t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:09 PM
9

The easiest replacement is “I so love...” then whatever you would’ve said after “jealous of.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:31 AM
2

😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:49 AM
9

He didn’t “get played.” He paid a fair price then got angry he wasn’t able to parlay that into a stupidly unfair deal- in his favor- by locking her down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:41 AM
38

Same. I kind of miss the anger because it was such a powerful motivator. I haven’t found anything so effective since...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:06 AM
31

“Mine”? Your ex, you mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:03 AM
26

I saw Midsommer with my boyfriend and his (young adult) son. I love it. They said it was interesting but didn’t really have a plot or point. I burst into “WHAT?!? The shitty boyfriend got what he had coming! Karma! THAT is the plot.” I think I scared them a little- which is always a good move. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:49 AM
5

I’ll let anybody pay for anything they’re willing to pay! I don’t think this sentiment is uncommon among lawyers. Sharks, I tell ya. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:58 AM
41

Shit he’s already cheating on her- guaranteed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:32 AM
10

Sure, but what are the odds you’ll get one good night from some random dude? Low. If you have an ex, WHO IS ALSO SINGLE, and the two of you broke up for more practical reasons (one wants kids, etc), AND you have already transitioned to being actual friends, then MAYBE float the idea INCLUDING a time frame (quarantine, for example). That still isn’t FDS, but might possibly be worth it. I’ve done it. Anything less than that is a guaranteed disaster. At a minimum, the sex will be bad, which defeats…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:01 PM
3

😂😂😂 Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:24 PM
3

My dog will not back off if a man gets in my space- what are you even talking about? Cats come into your space for petting when they feel like it, not necessarily when it would make you happy. How is that superior to my puppy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:23 PM
6

Oh dear... You can look up some Krav Maga tutorials on YouTube, but I wonder if you’re in a generally safe area to live? If not, maybe you could look for a place to share with other women (to cut down expenses) or a housekeeping/nanny job with room and board? I’m sure others have better advice for specific situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:17 PM
13

Age has a lot to do with it. Low value men generally know better than to approach attractive women over 40, because we have options plus know better. With fewer scrotes, it’s easier to weed through those remaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:48 PM
6

How long have you you been dating? And is a nice expensive meal a regular thing or particularly special? If dating just a short while, and nice expensive meals are a bit of a rarity for your age/group, then I say proceed but with caution. If dating 6 months plus OR you have very nice meals regularly, then I wouldn’t even investigate- I would block and delete. Bottom line: it was not high value. It may or may not be unacceptably low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:44 PM
6

Except that it didn’t say anything like that- the overall rates ALSO increased. OLD is leading to more rapes- that’s good information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:15 PM
12

Pretends to give a shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:09 PM
26

Right? It’s FDS examination material- “Identify each red flag in the following paragraph.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:08 PM
2

Agree. Also, I’m taking a moment to appreciate your proper use of “..th century.” 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:58 PM
28

Unfortunately, this advice is suggesting that women refrain from flirting, because it gets the wrong kind of attention. It’s victim blaming, but it’s also a funny old timey version of “don’t humor scrotes.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:56 PM
50

Oh wow! A man completed an upper body strength test in 15% less time! That’s AMAZING!!! She should be grateful she has such a prime specimen and stop being so competitive. Jesus Christ what a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:49 PM
7

We aren’t allowed to do that - unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:59 PM
30

Keep in mind that’s his version of what the MIL said. She very well could’ve been talking about how he was an immature baby, and another man in particular, who happened to be 30, was a more mature/better man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:58 PM
27

Maybe she should try communicating that she prefers clean to dirty. Energetic to lassitude. A fit body to a rotting one. If only he knew. That’s obviously the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:40 PM
49

Eh, you don’t walk around with an investment grade gem on your hand. I mean, you could, but then it wouldn’t be investment grade for long. Maybe he could just not have a stick up his ass about every dollar. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:02 AM
12

You can google it- it just means all the philias. (Sexual perversions)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:15 PM
25

Whoah. Mind. Blown. How did that never occur to me before...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:13 PM
26

Yes. Of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 10:14 PM
55

Holy shit. I did not realize that part. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:14 PM
26

Nope. “Age play” is also on the sacrosanct “kink” list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:12 PM
2

But a clean shaven face is mandatory in the US military. Why would razor sales go down? Or does “drafted” ultimately mean “dead?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 11:21 AM
28

There’s an even simpler and far more likely explanation- he’s just a liar. Like they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 09:58 AM
20

“At the time, she was drunk, but not drunk enough that I would question her morals.” What the actual fuck? Her morals is an interesting way to say her ability to consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:51 PM
1

Agree. The problem isn’t dating, it’s men being horrible and women/girls allowing it. I think the best case scenario is to start dating boys THAT ARE THE SAME AGE while you have an FDS informed mother on call 24/7 as your advisor. Starting at college or later, when you’re on your own, is a terrible idea. If you’re currently educated and independent, do you remember your early 20’s? I have a daughter that age- she is SUPER invested in and proud of doing everything by herself. She’s done some stup…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:12 PM
6

Average white guys would absolutely be prostitutes if anyone would pay for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 08:10 AM
43

Staring at him until he walks away is a GREAT comeback. Silence and confusion come across very clearly as, “What are they even saying? Are those sexual words coming out of the entirely nonsexual blob shape in front of me?” No need to put in more effort than that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:36 AM
3

Don’t do this. By intentionally testing their proclivity to gossip, you end up with a reputation as a Machiavellian gossip yourself. If they gossip TO you, they will gossip ABOUT you. If they don’t, they won’t. If people knowing the secret would be utterly devastating - you need to tell a therapist and/or get more comfortable with your own truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:29 AM
4

See... I would say it’s problematic to make an insincere offer to pay. He might let you pay because he respects the actual words you’re saying more than his own understanding of customs. You’re eliminating men who won’t argue with you that traditional roles are best. Keep your hands in your lap and when he touches the folio, say “Thank you.” or “This was such a lovely meal.” If HE introduces the idea of you paying, he’s low value. As to the gossip- same thing. Be quiet and observe. If they’re a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:23 AM
4

If a HVM invites you to a last minute happy hour, it isn’t a test. If you decline, he will learn that you don’t accept dates like that and he will make a better plan. If you accept, he will learn that you are good with last minute dates. He won’t expand that to “She has low expectations so she’s easy and I can just use her as a sex doll.” THAT is a “test” and it’s absolutely inherently disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:12 AM
48

A few years back, there was a man who published exactly such “porn for women” on pornhub. One video was something like “Delivery man just drops off your pizza he didn’t put his weiner in.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 06:42 AM
30

Omg same!!! I was thinking “I guess we know how that worked out...” Nope- new woman. Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:51 PM
10

Same with ADD and autism. The technical symptoms are the same: inability to focus and complete tasks, inability to read social cues, etc., but the more emotional manifestations? Symptoms in women: quiet, sullen, withdrawn, self-hatred. In men: Loud, disruptive, angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:49 PM
11

I clicked the link - omg GROSS. Date “vanilla” people and hide your fetish. Don’t worry- you can probably convert (coerce) them later! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:26 PM
10

The part of the brain that identifies the feet of other people? Or the part of the brain that is connected to one’s own feet? Because the former would be difficult as hell to discern, possible but seems less likely, and if it’s the latter it’s not an explanation. Men with foot fetishes aren’t turned on by their own feet. Nor derive sexual enjoyment from their own feet. They’re objectify the individual body parts of a woman, with no regard to her involvement as a human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:16 PM
11

It’s still super objectifying- that’s the point, even. Not to mention, I can’t imagine there’s any woman who’s independently into sliding her feet all over things, jerking off liquor bottles, and masturbating men with her feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:09 PM
2

You can call a suicide hotline for less than feeling suicidal. It’s free, anonymous, no commitment to follow up, and they’re happy to help you long before it’s life threatening. There are different kinds- some for teens in particular, or to deal with previous sexual abuse if that’s in play. They aren’t psychologists, I wouldn’t expect or trust a deep dive, but as a stop-gap measure I think it would help you tremendously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:58 PM
25

Don’t upgrade him (physically, professionally, his home, etc) and don’t take any work off his plate. He should have at least as many chores and errands as before you were together. In a nutshell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:17 PM
31

Sororité 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:12 PM
14

TFW they all look exactly like you 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:03 PM
5

Well he went to college during the marriage so it probably was his entire life savings. Every single dollar he put back for 3-4 (at most) WHOLE YEARS!!! How can he ever make that up?! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:10 PM
18

Did you “cause them to feel hurt” or did you hurt them? Even your version shifts it to a purely neutral action (cause you to feel) with a bad result (hurt) versus accepting responsibility for the bad action (hurting). “I’m sorry I hurt you. I really didn’t intend to.” is a far less shifty way to say the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:56 PM
35

Men are not born like that, or naturally like that, but they absolutely are “like that.” The choice has been normalized so much it’s the default.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:31 PM
16

They also say that to trick you into always being clear and direct- you don’t want to be a bad woman now, do you? Meanwhile their entire life is built around burying the lede.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:25 PM
16

Of course they think it’s a weapon- these are the same people who believe in wars of “preemptive defense.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:16 PM
26

I do believe I’d take that ring and then figure out why the broken engagement was his fault. That could be why I’ve never been offered a ring with a value closer to a vacation home than car... 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:11 PM
108

Ugh. The one upping is so real. My father would have flare ups of vague illnesses or absurd (essentially self-inflicted) injury absolutely any time someone else needed my mother’s attention. Injury, new baby, her literally dying mother. Never mind the possibility of her actually being ill- that simply wasn’t allowed. He’s dead now and it’s hard to know how to feel about her. She was never there for us and it was her decision to fawn over him instead, so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:06 PM
11

coMIc SaNS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:18 AM
39

I think the point was more- if they can pull the old switch-a-roo, you should do the same and get yours. Rather than begging for him to be nice again, etc, etc. That’s what I got out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 11:41 PM
2

I don’t disagree with the request or idea that it would be helpful, but two things: If the situation in the question is already mostly FDS compliant and the poster just needs more specific clarification on a rule, or tips on implementation, I think that properly belongs on the main FDS. My understanding is that AskFDS was created to avoid explaining basic things and/or to keep any debate off the main sub. That keeps the main sub 100% high quality discussion of FDS. So if the question is on AskFD…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:53 PM
1

Awesome- thanks 🙏👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:30 PM
1

I’ve requested permission to post on there- never knew if there was a problem or just a backlog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 06:57 AM
10

I like this 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 06:37 AM
3

I mean- it gives him material to use for his empty promises. It allows him to justify himself, to himself. It gives him the satisfaction of mattering to you one last time. On the other hand, fuck him. Fuck him if it makes him feel guilty and fuck him if it makes him feel important. Really think about what you’re trying to achieve. If it’s to influence him in some way, don’t send it. If it’s because you need to get some things out and you don’t care what his reply is- go for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 06:00 AM
8

“Select all” “Cut” For next time 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:53 AM
3

I don’t remember what degenerate sub I was browsing, but a guy claimed an escort was catfishing because her abs were softer than they looked in her pics. Not larger in any discernible way, she just wasn’t sporting a gym pump on arrival. They’re absurd
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:33 AM
39

She said what she said ☠️😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:24 AM
22

Disagree. He was “sent” to hurt you, but you were brave and got out. Of course, the idea that all his bad treatment is for your own good perfectly mirrors patriarchal abrahamic “god.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:48 PM
13

I’m not familiar with this app so I don’t know if he matches your personality 95%, or he meets 95% of your criteria, but you’ve got either some thinking to do or some standards to raise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:44 PM
4

I agree no one should tear her down, but I don’t think she’s saying what you’re saying. She’s specifically making a case that the eroticized violence is not part of the abuse. You wouldn’t say sexual abuse should be “separated” from physical abuse, because one harmed you more. I appreciate your perspective but unfortunately I don’t think she shares it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:39 PM
13

Working out works for me. I get endorphins, the sweat and extra circulation make my face look glowy, and my body looks tight. Plus it has one benefit that makeup and clothes don’t- it’s cumulative. If I do my makeup every day this week, I feel hot this week. If I work out every day this week, I feel hot this week AND I’m a bit healthier. Is there another goal word you could use instead of “sexy?” I mean, obviously say what you like but to me, “sexy” is inherently tied to another person. I can th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:27 PM
6

I was feeling a little wistful but determined not to get in touch with an ex. I wanted to hear “Maybe” by Ingrid Michaelson but couldn’t remember the name of the song so I asked Alexa to shuffle her music. The first song to come out was “Hell no.” I thought “you’re right Alexa, that’s a MUCH better choice.” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:03 PM
3

I never heard the second half of that verse- “lest they trample and tear you in pieces” is a much stronger message than the “don’t waste your efforts” I thought “pearls before swine” meant. So it isn’t “don’t waste your talents,” it’s “don’t present yourself to bad people or you will get SMASHED UP.” Wow...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:35 PM
4

Well let me help you- those rules are not for you, they’re for men. If you feel like it’s a moral imperative to follow those rules, follow them all the way- you’re just property. You shouldn’t be interacting with men in the first place, and they should respect one another’s ownership of you (by way of not coveting, not becoming an adulterer, and paying your father damages for raping you). You’re an agent for MEN to be godly. Great example: God was like “Wow, you are so amazingly holy for offerin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:25 PM
12

“Porn is natural. Porn is ok because we all need [immoral or wicked things] now and then.” Somebody get this woman a damned dictionary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:05 PM
41

That’s an excellent line if you’re ever faced with that...situation...in real life 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:48 PM
6

It says you don’t earn enough to have a fancy car and also meet all your other life goals. That, or that you’re particularly tight with money. How old are you? What’s important in your career? I’ve heard that you want a lawyer with a fancy car (because presumably they’re raking it in) but an accountant with an old inexpensive car (because presumably they’re penny pinchers and also not stealing money). Save for your house. In most situations, actually having a house is more important than looking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:45 PM
12

Agree. We can learn from someone’s misfortune, to better protect ourselves and build a better society, but it’s counterproductive and just plain ugly to denigrate them in the process.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:27 AM
9

Home ownership often means little more than “rent rate (mostly) locked in.” It’s a very good step, but it costs money to buy, it costs money to maintain, and it costs money to sell. There’s no reason to think there was a big cash out that she blew. And the adult daughters are probably trying to get their own lives put together. It’s nice to help your mother, but if you’re 23 (or so) it’s great that you’re taking care of yourself- it’s an unreasonable ask to support your mom cleaning up her man m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:23 AM
32

If you’re having trouble, you might see if there’s a group of older women you could join. Book club or garden club, etc. Women are only EVER man focused because of hormones and/or fear of change. Most women who become single over about age 50, by divorce or death, are super happy to stay that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 06:13 PM
9

Exactly. Not only is freeze instinctive, but if she fought back she might’ve become homeless. Why on earth would it be her responsibility to manage a man’s behavior to her own detriment? Especially when there’s no time to actually think through the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 06:07 PM
33

Surely a woman’s body language doesn’t “prevent sexual assault,” it only changes the target of sexual assault to not-her. Rapey men are going to rape. It’s a good idea to make it not-you, but the only way to prevent sexual assault is to prevent rapey men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 06:03 PM
20

Holy shit. He has literally every bad quality possible and doesn’t even try to gloss over it. No sugar babies? Are you worried they’ll take your disgusting ball cap, annoy your roommates, and try to take over the remote control (ie: your entire life)? And... does he think that spam bots read the profiles? I can’t. No more internet for me today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 05:53 PM
3

Omg I would in a heartbeat. Alexa doesn’t have a male version. 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 05:37 PM
1

Fair enough
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 04:09 AM
14

So much this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:53 AM
12

I want to expound on this some. The only solutions are to get out and/or get therapy. Both take money. If OP can get a formal education- AWESOME. She should do that. If she can’t, there are many valuable skills that can be learned online: web design, coding, translating, editing. And so on. THAT needs to be the focus. The messed up thoughts and feelings about sex are normal, rational, and sensible given the context. Her brain is working perfectly. There is no flaw in her to cause this thinking. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:37 AM
28

No. A young man might go on walk dates and coffee dates, because he can get away with it and thinks it’s normal, and then be a good man for a woman who demands better. A man who saves human beings as “free pussy” in his phone is garbage now and forever. Any “feminist awakening” or “maturing” will be temporary at best, but probably entirely a sham.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:27 AM
18

😳😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:16 AM
15

This is the cheat code of men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:43 AM
17

I like to float a few “Why do men trash everything they touch?” “Men are so gd emotional.” etc into the conversation. If it scares them off- good. If they argue the point- good, now I know. If they respond along the lines of “Yeah... 😳 You’re not wrong...” they may proceed to step 2.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:40 AM
25

Is he an emperor? A Nobel prize winner? Rich, even? It’s always the men with the most god awful mediocre genes and no big estate to leave that ramble about their “legacy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:35 AM
18

Has she never heard “marriage is just a piece of paper?” It’s said in a derisive way, but people (men) get away with saying it because actually it’s true. If you want to be married, you just sign a piece of paper. It’s a damned significant paper, but easy and cheap to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:10 AM
3

Ewwwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 11:47 PM
27

Oh gosh- stop counting! Counting is something men invented so they could brag to each other while also shaming women into continuing mediocre relationships to avoid increasing their number. Also it slyly pushes women to choose equally or more intimate activities just to avoid tripping the odometer, when PIV might’ve been the more enjoyable thing to do. How many friends have you had? Teachers? Bosses? Clients? These are all significant relationships, probably a range with a few in one category, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 11:40 PM
35

Get. A. Puppy. I used to get depressed or lonely to a level 8, let’s say. Since I got a dog, it’s never more than a 4. At worst. And usually not even that. Puppy doesn’t interfere at all with developing a relationship when there’s a good opportunity, and definitely picks up the slack when there is not. A+ all around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:47 PM
12

Well done, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:41 PM
12

Having your own bank accounts only means he can’t spend it now; without a pre-nup, it’s still half his. This would actually be thoroughly unethical for a lawyer to recommend, but you really should get a safe deposit box and stuff cash in there. Sure, you won’t earn interest, but you would need to earn a 100% return between now and your inevitable divorce to break even. Start saying you want to do all your spending in cash. You don’t want the government or Apple or whoever tracking you. Take a ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:40 PM
15

Exactly. It’s where everything stays the same except you aren’t allowed to be upset anymore. Great solution, amiright?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:30 PM
13

It is SUCH a LVM manipulative move to keep bringing up an old incident. I bet every time he brings it up, she gives a full apology and explanation of why she did it, while feeling frustrated that he keeps remembering the faking, but can’t seem to understand/remember the explanation. It preys on the fact that we are actually the rational sex, and think communication will actually solve relationship problems. I literally have a tight chest right now from flashbacks. Ugh. If anyone EVER brings up a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:28 PM
6

My best line is “Wow. You really deserve better...” It isn’t a direct slam against the guy that she could argue. It isn’t calling her stupid for staying. Variations like “Yeah... I don’t have any advice because none of that makes sense to me. You deserve better.” validate her feeling that something is off without stepping into the role of guru who knows best, which she would probably resist. It also shuts down the complaining without being cruel. If someone is just looking to have a good whinge,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:17 PM
8

Right? Like sir, you thinking that’s an insult tells me everything I need to know about you,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:05 PM
15

Gotcha. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:14 PM
23

Ah. I don’t think I’ve noticed that before. Ok, one more question: Is DMing the OP allowed or is that also brigading? The FDS “rescue mission.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:08 PM
16

This is genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:05 PM
81

The thing is, city people know this. That’s how we get the reputation for being rude, when actually we’re just respecting your space and making it way easy to recognize the creeps. If anyone is trying to randomly talk to you, they’re a creep. Feel free to look through them as if they’re a window.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:57 PM
61

What’s a non-participation link? Is that when people link old . reddit or archived posts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:49 PM
1

An apology without restitution is a LIE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:45 PM
2

Seconding this. It isn’t clear he didn’t already have this talk, and I also wonder if this post was an indirect/nonconfrontational way for him to tell her. HOWEVER, benefit of the doubt is a bitch and almost never worth giving. So... 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:31 PM
2

I agree, that’s why I said do be angry. Anger is a great emotion- it’s fuel for overcoming, and also it’s focused on what was done to you. It was the disgust part that I said perhaps you could try to shift to pity. That’s a judgment of her as a person and the difference between disgust and pity is a bit of extra empathy. I assure you I’m not trying to be pedantic, I’ve lived this. And please believe I don’t think you owe her this shift, or anything at all. I was just sharing some thoughts that h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:19 PM
10

Happened to me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:12 AM
7

Yes. Professionals use weed sometimes now. They don’t post pics of it (or have dab rigs? What?) just like they didn’t post pics of keg stands just because alcohol is level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:01 AM
5

If you saw a puppy continue to try and play with an abusive owner, would you feel disgust towards the puppy? What if the puppy wasn’t chained or fenced in, so could theoretically leave, but continued to want attention from a cruel person? It isn’t your mother’s fault. Probably she’s never had better and her mother didn’t have better either. Social mobility is just as difficult and uncommon as financial mobility, which is to say, it takes the right temperament, hard work, AND some amount of luck/…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:02 PM
2

I think Skype works in Canada. They have video but you can also text and call with it. I think. It’s been years since I used it. It costs a little bit but it’s worth it. (If there’s no free option)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:44 PM
26

I’ve had this happen. A Tinder match found my Facebook and messaged me wondering why I swiped right but didn’t reply. Uhhhhh... because you’re ok enough for a preliminary 👍🏻 but clearly a sociopath? I didn’t respond, just block, delete, remove those photos. Scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:42 PM
13

The HV traits are a lure. 100% LV men wouldn’t be able to abuse anyone. They develop just enough good traits to hook you and keep you. LV men don’t have good traits, they have bait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:40 PM
10

Write it in the Notes app or Evernote. That way you can add to it or review it anywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:38 PM
9

MEET men in grad school. That’s totally fine. Do not sign on the dotted line until he’s exactly where he would need to be to keep you happy. Would you be happy with a permanent student husband? An intern? A first year associate? Maybe, but probably not. Just don’t get married until you’re satisfied if he never advances, because that’s a super real risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:27 PM
10

Because they actually hate the consensual part. Facts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:22 PM
6

Well they’re only decent to women they’re desperate to fuck. If the wife is nice to them, obviously they have her by the ovaries. Except, you know, not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:21 PM
6

You don’t have to do that here- humble down your happy things (he has his issues). I know that’s usually expected, trying not to brag, but we like bragging and we’re all super happy for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:10 PM
3

The HOA fees at my condo are almost that much. It covers the water and cable/internet, so there’s that... HOA fees + taxes are significantly more than that. It’s 1 bedroom and nothing is plated in gold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 02:44 PM
90

Because THEY fake vague illnesses for attention. Or bellyache about the tiniest owie. So if we’re bellyaching, it’s actually tiny. And if it’s anything you can’t directly measure, like a fever, broken bones, a heart attack, then it’s vague and SO VERY prone to abuse. Projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:04 PM
211

“But do you drink soda? Liquid calories count, did you know that? Have you tried walking? If you try walking around the block each day, instead of sitting in a recliner drinking soda, everything will be back to normal.” Actually said to me when, as an active still fairly slim 30 year old, I suddenly gained 10 pounds, directly coinciding with a medication change. I’ve heard it’s similar for women with PCOS. You’re just looking for an excuse to be fat (or hirsute, or cranky, but mostly fat). They …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:00 PM
48

I think she meant women don’t have to have children. You said “In order for humanity to continue as a species.” I don’t think it was contradictory so much as a reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:54 PM
35

Amen. Even if you think you enjoy pain, what kind of man could do that? And get/maintain an erection?! A bad man, that’s what kind. I like that you said “get justice eventually.” That’s really smart because until your bonding hormones clear out, every interaction with or about him will only hurt you, or worse lure you back in. Good work, lady. One more comment- while your user name is near blank anyway, get a new one. Is fatoldworm a library joke? Fishing? Are you actually quite young? slim? If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:56 PM
42

How gross and entirely predictable. She’s awful 🙄 but he’s not capable of being alone. Would you, my dear, accept this used ring and become the next branch for this monkey?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:44 PM
31

I mean... I think weed can be a personality, it’s just an exceptionally shitty one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:41 PM
12

Absolutely. If someone cuts or plucks out their own hair, we don’t say “that’s their body, their choice.” Ultimately, yes, it is, and they can continue to do it regardless, but we all recognize and agree that those desires/impulses come from a bad place and that person needs help. Why on earth do we treat masochism differently? Now that I think about it, what happened to the word Masochism?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:06 PM
23

Yeah, it’s like “Well the Red Cross shows up with a blanket and hot cocoa afterwards, so what’s the big deal that I burned your house down?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:00 PM
5

Incorrect. Porn was made first because the motion picture camera was invented FOR THE PURPOSE of making porn. Same with high speed internet. It was a vague idea when it was about information. Then you get Amsterdam cam girls in 96 and they get ON that problem fast. Nobody wants a slow connection to porn! Streaming content? What came first- streaming porn or Netflix? The megasites (youporn/pornhub) came out to consolidate porn, so after it had been streaming for years. Netflix came out to introdu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:50 PM
2

A summary of what you just said: “Sure, men get all the praise and promotions for just existing, but women are terrible because they have a competitive scarcity mindset against other women.” Yeah... when all men and a rare woman get the goodies, it makes sense to psych out the other women. This isn’t because women are inherently catty and the solution isn’t “women be nicer.” We are, after all, the logical sex and we are, in fact, in competition with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:39 PM
3

It’s so crazy, people seem to either love or hate making other people jealous...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:32 PM
6

I do this all the time, and expect reciprocation. “Oh Sarah over here is a killer with situations like that. One time...exaggerated story.” Try it, you’ll like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:12 PM
15

They’re also more emotional, they just think anger doesn’t count for some reason. And bossy (issuing commands without actual authority; acting like a boss when you are not).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:09 PM
5

💯 I’ve witnessed this plenty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:40 PM
10

The best reply to that (or “people are scared of you”) is “Interesting...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:39 PM
3

Added to my reading list 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:35 PM
11

Consider it free therapy. Every time you tell your story, it hurts a little less and this guy was apparently a throwaway anyway. Also consider that men use “throwaway (to them)” women as free therapy INTENTIONALLY. They do that because there’s a benefit to getting things off your chest. It hurts, don’t do it again, and you definitely qualify as a legitimate victim. BUT- if framing it that way makes you feel bad, think about how you (involuntarily) used him the way men use women. Free therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:34 PM
7

If you haven’t already, find a way to be helpful and/or contribute some amount of money. That completely changes the situation to “moving home to help mom and dad” and is also just a nice thing to do. (And I wonder if it’s part and parcel of other culture’s habit of staying at home.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:41 PM
15

It’s a man spending time with his baby!!! That’s a big sacrifice! And he does it in spite of it interrupting his preferred method of snacking! A god damned hero in my book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:33 PM
20

Going to be legal in 10 years = illegal. Sorry dude, talk to your governor but right now you’re doing illegal drugs while watching the baby. As to the rest: I don’t understand how it’s explanatory to say he does this every day and always feels weird about it. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:31 PM
6

A lot of times men get away with that by not owning many things and not making food. It’s even in the design themes- ALL bachelor pads are minimalist. Some women/couples as well, but ALL homes designed for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:18 PM
46

Well, maybe they don’t exist. Or maybe you personally won’t ever find a HVM. So what? If I don’t find a great man, I still don’t want some slob walking around destroying my environment. That’s still awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:11 PM
18

It wasn’t one random man, it was the depravity of all men. Man says, “Cute baby but I’m hungry so I’m going hunting. Bye.” Woman’s options are do the same or care for the child. Since she has to stay close to home, she starts gathering and growing. Once upon a time, it was mandatory to marry. If you didn’t, you were ostracized and/or raped because you lacked a body guard. Your husband could rape you at will. Birth control was immoral and so was talking about it- most women had no information or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:06 PM
17

Ugh. I question every single bipolar or borderline personality given to a woman while she’s living with a man. Particularly one given during a divorce. It’s disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:33 PM
22

That super fans convo was 👩🏼‍🍳👌🏻💋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:29 AM
11

Do. Not. Do it. That is a part of your body for YOU to feel pleasure. Don’t even THINK ABOUT hacking into it for the sake of appearance- YOU can’t even see it! Only some as-yet-unidentified man will. What a TERRIBLE deal for you! If you can’t help focusing on men’s reactions, and we’ve all been there, and you’re willing to “damage” yourself for their sexual approval, just fake an extra orgasm. Even better, spend time actually working on being more orgasmic. If they were ever inclined to think ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:24 AM
9

As a conventionally attractive woman, I whole-fucking-heartedly agree. Dudes listen to nothing I say, and then tell me I’m pretty. My response- “Yeah, I know, and it’s the absolute most boring thing about me.” Both sides of average have their personhood ignored. It’s absurd and wrong-thinking to try and enlarge the “would be a good place for my dick” category. If you want to know the bliss of appearance not being considered, be an attractive obese woman. Like a 30 BMI. I didn’t know how good I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:14 AM
26

Your examples are all tech or academia, which have never embraced societal appearance or behavior standards for either sex, Corporate India, and Corporate China. I’ve never heard the curly hair issue, so I’ve never considered that while looking, but pull up photos of C-Suite women in American companies. Heck, a lot of directors even. They all look the same. There does seem to be a 10-15 pound allowance for being over 50- sometimes. I don’t think the lesson is “get surgery.” It’s probably pick a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 07:57 AM
4

The religion is derivative and contrarian. By definition. That’s what happens when you intentionally name a religion after the villian in another comic book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 07:44 AM
8

If a person is asexual, that doesn’t mean that they could potentially be bi, gay, or straight, while “a[nti]” the other two. Atheist means “a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.” A no-theist. No god, no gods. The antithesis of a theist. Theist means belief in a god or gods. People who believe in any of the “dabbling alien” stories are absolutely not atheists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 07:40 AM
10

You’re confused. Choosing what you grow in your own body is smart. You can use any criteria whatsoever, including absolutely arbitrary. Choosing what other people grow in their bodies is eugenics
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 01:01 AM
42

I have a long standing habit of exclaiming “Congratulations!!!” when I’m told about a break-up. Because seriously- if it’s over, it needed to be for a while and I’m sure they’ve gotten their fill of “Oh you poor pathetic thing.” from others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:54 PM
40

Have you tried sounding rude? It’s delightful, which is probably why men always do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 07:58 PM
29

I thought I was the only one who does this! My dentist talked about ogling boobs at a pool party. Boy, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:07 PM
11

I’m not crying, you’re crying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:19 AM
10

Straight truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:17 AM
30

You find out a woman is crazy when/because she yells at you. You find out a man is crazy when/because he kills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:15 AM
26

I had an ex keep demanding to know my REAL diagnosis. Literally just anxiety. Surprise, surprise- he was taking anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. (Nothing wrong with that, unless you lie about it and also constantly project your problems onto other people.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:14 AM
24

I just said below that I never trust a BPD diagnosis- especially one that was made during a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:12 AM
36

I’m always skeptical of BPD diagnoses... It’s symptoms are the same as complex PTSD, but somehow one is inherent and incurable, the other can be treated and is someone else’s fault. Guess which is most common in each gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:11 AM
11

I’m sorry for whatever made you mad. Can we just move on now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:06 AM
16

I 💯 use movies to put boyfriends on notice. “Holy shit she should’ve dumped him last week!” “I would SURE THE HELL turn YOU into the police. Jesus.” “Oh HELL NO- it is SO not ‘the thought that counts!’” “Where could you find another man like him? Literally ANYWHERE, girl.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:04 AM
31

Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:43 AM
15

You can almost always, almost anywhere, record in person. It’s recording a wire (phone) that is so split between one and two party consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:41 AM
96

I think that challenge deserves a smiley face more than a frown. We already know it’s happening, and when it’s put on social media several things happen: You get a reality check of how bad it is, the badness doesn’t fade with time and gaslighting, you have a record of it for later, and you warn other women about what can happen. I asked my ex for water while breastfeeding. He had a fit. How bad a fit? I don’t really remember, it just blended in. I didn’t remember exactly how bad when things were…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:39 AM
17

Oil money is the craziest money. Their fortunes are like roller coasters, so if you weren’t already an adrenaline junkie, you become one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:00 AM
9

Also “signs” do not obligate a woman to become an unpaid public servant and launch an investigation. She is not his keeper, expecting that is just demanding even more labor from women in order to manage men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:58 AM
7

I think it’s usually a matter of degree. I knew a man who gave off some creepy vibes- objectified women, always hitting on waitresses and intentionally hiring “hot blondes.” His wife had some worries that he was/would cheat. She even investigated a bit along those lines. She found no inappropriate work colleagues or old school friends, no scandalous phone numbers or text messages, and she never could have, because actually he molested young boys. The whole whore monger persona was fake and inten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:55 AM
9

Block and delete. The master tip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:49 PM
9

Doesn’t work in a pandemic, but become a “regular” at every opportunity and chat a little bit to everyone. Always go to the same dry cleaner on Monday. Starbucks at 6am on Tuesdays. Same time and days at the gym. And so on. Men will notice you and try to run into you again. Big time. It’s slow, but it’s everything you were already doing and you only need one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:40 PM
0

And so can HVM. (Anywhere except strip clubs, racist political gatherings, etc.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:32 PM
3

Frankly, I don’t want to be the ho in my heavily male hobby group. I’m there to be taken seriously and it’s very clear that I’m not receptive to being hit on. It’s nearly impossible to be taken seriously at your activity and also meet a nice man. Unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:28 PM
15

Hate to break it to you, but long distance guy was also playing the game. It’s just easier to be amazing at it once a month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:23 PM
4

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:22 PM
5

I think sometimes the roles are designated. Like- he’s the bottom and then to take care of him, he gets a blowjob. Or maybe he’s just a jerk. Or or the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:19 PM
20

This is what I’m here for. I don’t know that I personally want to feel that way, but I’ve had SO MUCH conditioning to be overly concerned about some random man that this is a refreshing jolt. Me: Shouldn’t I worry about him a little? I’ll try to work towards caring less. Maybe I’ll half care. You: Fuck that scrote Me: Interesting... In that case, I think I’ll skip right to not giving a shit, which is STILL just a half measure. I forget that hating them back is also on that scale. The middle grou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:15 PM
3

The world sucks when I have no idea if that’s true or fabulous deadpan humor. But I am not going to google to find out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:41 PM
13

“Become a vessel for somebody else’s needs wants and desires.” I feel this so hard. It usually starts with wanting early exclusivity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:27 PM
11

YES!!! Lots of people say they need a man who is wealthy, or on that path.. GTFOutta here with that shit. My ex husband wanted to be a good profession. He actually got to that goal. But then promptly sat on his ass doing busy work and leaving the office at 5pm sharp, regardless of what’s needed. I called it at 3 years after that, thank god, because 20 years later, he’s STILL making less than an average new hire. You can not give a man credit for potential unless he is ALREADY moving up at an imp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:14 PM
17

I want to hate this, but I’m just sitting here in awe of the athleticism. How the hell do you get range of motion like that? WHILE doing squats? AND not tipping over? I’m envious as hell... (I get it, it’s bad because men are gross and it panders to that. Maybe there should be a redo of the same, but patriotic music and a leotard. Just a suggestion.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:07 PM
46

Unfortunately, dating isn’t. And some parents are delusional about what their kids are doing. It should be illegal though, surely they could legislate against grooming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:10 PM
10

I took it to mean “knocked me out.” The only other possibility I can think of is “was boring” but that doesn’t really make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 06:51 PM
8

Doesn’t seem like the elasticity would come back...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:05 AM
27

True change happens BEFORE you get there. And had been sustained for a while. Change in front of you is always for show and at best he’ll keep it up but resent the hell out of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:59 AM
7

Slow golf clap...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:46 AM
2

What about lesbians? They don’t buy that garbage. Maybe occasionally but for sure not enough to support the industry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:35 AM
2

Single moms with very young or high needs kids are heavily represented among sex workers. Those low paying jobs also usually jerk around their employees- not giving a consistent schedule, cutting hours, etc. Finding 40 hours a week of childcare, at 100% flexible hours is hard and expensive. Working a few hours while the kids dad or even a regularly scheduled sitter watches the kid is the only realistic possibility. It’s almost always still shameful to them, but saying suck it up, buckle down, an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:32 AM
5

Asking the important questions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:21 AM
15

When I get “confused” responses, I say, “We both speak the same language, yes? And you’re competent in it, yes? Ok, which specific phrase is confusing you?” They’re so used to derailing with vague semantic arguments. If that’s the goal, at a minimum they have to put in some effort to actually make a semantic argument. They never do. Also agree that this is block and delete at the dating level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 10:42 PM
9

But then no one would fawn over him for being thoughtful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 10:34 PM
3

I’m not convinced he heard what he wanted. When he would say that, did you shift to reassuring him that’s not what you said and that he is a good person? Instead of keeping the focus on the actual thing he did wrong? It’s a trick, a very good and very common trick that preys on women because we don’t want to hurt others. “YOU’RE HURTING ME!!!” Oh dear, ok, conversation over. Now let’s patch up your feelings and prop you back up. Disgusting manipulative scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 10:30 PM
13

He. No way this is a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 09:52 PM
16

Ooohhh. I for sure know the answer to this one. They know that they will drop you in a hot second for anyone that’s slightly hotter, richer, etc. They’ve also determined via careful observation that you have a decent chance with someone slightly taller or richer or whatever. So they feel thoroughly at risk. What they don’t remotely understand is that most women want a nice, comfortable, stable home with a man who puts in the work and is approximately their equal. Once you decide on a man, you ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:40 AM
6

Wow... I’ve been around long enough that I rarely learn a whole new idea, and this has shook me. You’re so right. Cheating always comes with emotional abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 12:57 AM
5

That’s actually pretty amazing. I’m an old lady so it takes a lot for me to go whoah, but no student loans?! Well done you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 12:39 AM
32

I say this all the time: my priority is a peaceful life. A person can be amazing in 42 bazillion ways, but infringing on my peace is a deal breaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:25 PM
63

Ooofff- I feel that hard. I’m up about 5 pounds from quarantine and the other day I was thinking- how am I holding onto that so long? Usually I go oops and starve a couple of weeks, no problem. Realized oh- because I’m not in an imaginary competition with a boyfriend’s exes. Now I have to find normal person motivation. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:22 PM
33

I think this one requires a combination of being younger than him, classically pretty, and deferential. As is, just exhausted from dealing with things and happy to put him in charge. If you’re the same age, have an edgy or different look, or still have the will to have strong opinions- no. In other words- be like a fairy tale princess and you too can be whisked away. But also locked in a turret. That’s the kicker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:13 PM
15

See, I agree with you here. LVM are all about the walk date, but I think a HVM might just be doing what he thinks is expected and doesn’t want to seem pushy or clingy. I think it’s perfectly ok to say, “I don’t know that I’d call a walk a date.” And drop it. Or even, “Well that sounds boring.” And again- DROP IT. In my opinion, what they do after that is the make or break. If they come back right away with something better, I would approve. If they start to argue or question it one tiny bit, don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 10:43 PM
9

I’ve seen the show. I didn’t love her faux empowered-sexy vibe. I didn’t love how all her friend/mentors were trying to fuck her- and she’s game for it. The show is fine. Perfectly ok. But I don’t understand all the positive attention it gets for focusing on her intelligence- it doesn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:22 PM
3

I was about to say sis, 18” biceps are crazy rare... then I got to the 24” waist part. Yup. Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:30 PM
70

The point is that it wasn’t a date. Two people went to topgolf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:19 PM
16

If she was “some escort,” then what? Even escorts in Dubai don’t deserve to be raped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:19 PM
9

Yeah. It’s method acting- they spend their entire life getting into character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:55 PM
26

One reason insurance might cover removal is that the problem implant is obscuring mammograms or MRI’s, making it potentially difficult to find cancer. She might want to look into that approach. Another avenue is the warranty of the implant itself. You’d be surprised how many of the old ones actually had a lifetime warranty. You do have to surrender the implant and waive the right to sue, but they will cover the removal surgery. Also- Breast Implant Illness Syndrome (or something like that) has b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:44 PM
52

What a funny joke... 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:27 PM
24

I just choked on a laugh. Then immediately shifted to, “So how could we make that work...🤔” Edit: OMG that’s already real. Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:24 PM
24

And he offered to HELP?! pay for the surgery?! This asshole wants her to risk her life AND ALSO pay for it. 50/50 I’m sure 🙅🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:21 AM
2

I wrote a similar post above with a very different tone- I agree that sex workers, in general, don’t think of their work as empowering. This recent, seemingly pandemic related, crop of OF workers are just dipping their toe in, often not even profitably. They’re usually very young and do seem to be rebelling in a libfem way. These are two very different groups- you’re both right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:15 AM
19

I’m prrrrretty sure they don’t have bail - for misdemeanors. These mf’s were committing literal treason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:21 AM
53

No kidding! These are the same people who thought BLM protestors should be shot for breaking things. Racist POS’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:17 AM
37

Ewwwwww. Well that escalated quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:42 AM
5

I’d never heard of that. Good info, thank ya.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:40 AM
10

And “tender your heart.” As in, turn it over in payment. I’m not remotely sure that was accidental.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:37 AM
37

I interact with a few escorts through my work. Most of them don’t even say they think it’s empowering, they just say it is their choice, and it’s just what needed to be done. It’s ALWAYS one of four things, often a combination: 1. To be able to pay tuition or student loans. Often to escape generational poverty. To pay for their own or a family member’s medical care. To take care of a child, either because they have no social support, or they do have some social support but the child is special n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:29 AM
12

Doesn’t happen. At most, the age slides up along with your own. At 23, you’re getting aggressively hit on by gross men in their 30’s and up. In your 30’s, it will be 40’s and up. And so on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:37 PM
14

Definitely depends on the culture where you live. In some cities, smoking pot is an identity. Where I live, it’s legal and old hat. The type of parties that used to have a signature cocktail, so middle age professionals, now have some form of marijuana. Everyone tee-hee-hee’s to get stoned off one hit, and you’d be hard pressed to find an adult who doesn’t indulge a couple/few times a year. These are very different categories and the latter doesn’t exist in most places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:31 PM
49

Actually, 4 standard early abortions are probably safe enough. Four that are far enough along to determine the sex? So- 16 weeks? I’m pretty sure after a second trimester abortion there is a mandatory six weeks of abstinence. She didn’t even get that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:16 PM
38

But why do you have such sexy eyelashes?!? No man can control himself around that!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:11 PM
26

If they come at me with “Please, ma’am.” (at an appropriate time and place) then it’s reasonable to expect a “No thank you, sir.” If they aren’t being civil, “Fuck outta here” is a perfectly appropriate response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:09 PM
1

That’s not the same as them stating that they love to pleasure women before getting anything in return Agree to disagree. This should also be a given and should be more show than tell. Guys that say this usually care about your orgasm as a prop to their self esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:00 PM
48

The secret to success is ”secret.” Don’t tell them your standards. If pressed, give something vague and inarguable: He had serial killer vibes. I think he hates puppies. He slurps his food and I could never. Don’t tell friends you’re dumping a guy or not accepting his date because he doesn’t text back quickly enough. Block and delete on explaining yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:50 PM
17

I think a quick answer is to really describe the butterflies. Are they butterflies like a roller coaster? Definitely bad. Like before public speaking? Bad. Except MAYBE before the first date if you don’t have much experience dating. Like before Christmas morning? Depends. How was Christmas as a child? Did you always get what you want? Then possibly ok. If not, definitely bad. Do you get something like butterflies when you know you’re about to have your favorite treat? The new season of your favo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:47 PM
7

Money. Hell yes I’d marry an astronaut who might not make it back. So essentially I’m single, except I get a stipend. In a year or whatever, I either get an actual husband or a lifetime death benefit. If we were dating, I’d get nothing but being sad for a while. Easy choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:00 AM
6

All you have to do is be rich and have your own wing of the house. 😂 I kid. There are plenty reasonable ways to carve out private space in a home. A mother-in-law type of suite or apartment would be easy. If you wanted a bigger carve out than that, maybe look at house plans for polygamists. They’ve probably thought through divided-yet-together homes more than anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:20 AM
26

Like... this one right here...? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:32 AM
2

People in Boston are so aggressively proud and competitive about their perfectly fine, non-descript, fairly small city. It’s like a 5’2” guy who works out a ton, and constantly talks about how he could kick someone’s ass. Nobody’s trying to fight you, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:24 AM
2

She said make you feel bad...about yourself. Not feel bad about something you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:55 PM
1

I don’t know if you can really say you know a man who would never cheat. Wives are completely tricked every day, and you don’t know more about your friends’ relatives than a wife would. It may be true, and they may be fabulous, but that’s a pretty high risk statement- to vouch for them like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:45 PM
2

I’m going to say sort of. They’re going to know if you’re qualified to be the one within a few dates/a week/maybe instantly. When that happens, they’re going to put in work like you’re the one. Then over the next few months it either gels or it doesn’t. So, they aren’t super intuitive about how everything will turn out. It’s just that they never move a woman from the “passing time” category into “the one” category. They may decide to settle but never treat her well. But you can move from the one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:37 PM
2

I just can’t with this- USE A PSEUDONYM!!! Don’t write a long ass convoluted story like it’s the absolute worst calculus problem ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:25 PM
2

Wow. Looks exactly like a Zac Posen engagement ring, which I have considered buying for myself. I’ll check this store out. Nice find!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:48 PM
8

You did online surveys to get your mom a gift? That is... I am not crying- I just got something in my eye!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:06 PM
21

I think you mean mean 20% of deaths among pregnant women are homicides, not 20% of pregnant women die by homicide. Still- that’s an absolutely shocking statistic and I hadn’t heard it before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:56 PM
25

The house depends on whether they held it as tenants in common or tenants by the entirety. One way he absolutely can, the other he absolutely can’t. If she was left with very little that has been his, she can also get an elective share, about 40% in many states, of his half. We don’t know what else they had though that the wife did get. The will almost certainly won’t be thrown out. You can’t steal or divert your own things. To the extent they belonged to her, they still do belong to her. That i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:52 PM
3

If it was a seven year relationship, including a five year marriage, I think she would feel significantly better about everything. A seven year relationship can end with one text message, no explanations, and when it’s over, there’s no trace to prove that it was ever real. Poor thing. How disorienting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:25 PM
12

ALL men will say ANYTHING they need to say, to get what they want. Period. With a HVM, the things he says are positive things he can actually make happen, and things that will also benefit you. But make no mistake, this is 100% coincidence. Really take that in. It’s life changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:15 PM
23

In fairness, I don’t consider him to be a real man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:02 PM
3

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:58 PM
1

Omg- was I the only kid who thought “Are you freaking kidding me? I’d call in sick and let those assholes crash!” Who wants a bunch of accolades from bullies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:05 PM
57

Exactly. Normal humans (women) want to go to New Zealand, or the Serengeti, or maybe even get a little vague like “backpacking across Europe.” “Travel the world” is a scrote mid-life crisis phrase if there ever was one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:10 AM
2

Addressing the real problem, right here 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:51 AM
3

Sooooo some fundamentalist Christian weirdo. I think that may be one of the anti-Semitic ones that say Americans/English are the actual Jews in the Bible, and today’s Jews are faking. Or some shit like that. People actually from Israel say Israeli or Jewish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:49 AM
21

Yes, I suggest you not try to think of ways you’re the exception. You’re not, and they’re not. If they don’t have to do the work, they won’t value you. Period. Use your cool ideas for your friends, or after a few dates you could say “Hey, I want to go to...” but he should still be handling all the arrangements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:38 AM
16

It looks like you dropped an /s. Because it definitely doesn’t belong here 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:18 AM
4

Beat me to it. Yup. This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:18 AM
103

I’m not disagreeing that it shows you’re worth it. But also, for some women, splitting the check is an intentional message that “I don’t see you in a romantic way, I don’t want to see you again, and I don’t want to feel obligated to you.” It’s an insult. Me- I still let them pay and never feel obligated, but I’ve heard this from enough women that it may be what the men are assuming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:14 PM
15

The same damned thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:09 PM
3

I’m sorry, WHAT?!?! Lied about a vasectomy?! That’s appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:04 PM
19

Very traditional with the exception [of providing. Ie: the only part that would require effort from them]. Natch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:06 PM
12

You’re speechless? I see what you did there...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:35 AM
20

One thing you can do is say “I’m spending so much prospecting right now. Perhaps you know of someone who’s looking to commission work? I’d love to find a few great clients, then I’d have more time to make nice little gifts for my friends.” It a combination nudge and shaming. Also, this is what rich people do without necessarily discussing it. Bring their friends big money, get free goodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:22 AM
51

Because they’ve cottoned on to this “test.” (Or because they’re flirting.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:09 AM
150

This. So much. The worst of it is, I think I’m deferring and will get credit for it later. Either by getting my turn later to choose, or more appreciation shown in other ways. Nope. Never happens. They think they persuaded you, therefore you agree it’s the best choice, and aren’t actually giving up anything. It’s sickening. The only way to win at all is to profess enjoyment of absolutely insipid entertainment, and “compromise” to what you actually like. And that is EXHAUSTING. Is it worth it? I’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:03 AM
23

Wow... That sounds amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:17 PM
17

I mean, that’s the old timey crime of seduction. Unfortunately it’s the criminal act of lowering a woman’s value, but the essence of “lying to get sex=crime” did exist at one point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:07 PM
33

Ummmm... I’ve never had jewelry from Zales, but for the jewelry boxes I have, that flip over thing with two holes is made for earrings. There clearly are notches for the necklace, so it belongs, but I sincerely believe he split up a set... Since he never gives her gifts, he EITHER gave the earrings to another woman, and gave her the leftover necklace, OR his mother bought earrings and said “Why don’t you give your girlfriend this leftover necklace?” Which makes absolute sense because deer studs …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 08:47 PM
6

Essentially the Bill Gates of his time, sounds like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 08:13 PM
3

Ehhhhh... I don’t think that would change the statistic. He’s a piece of shit, so ultimately you had to file. Same as all the other women who had to file. Theirs might’ve been to lazy to watch the kids; yours was too lazy to do paperwork, but same/same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 07:52 PM
8

Ha! I was just thinking they’re the ones who can, but you make a damned fine point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 07:40 PM
19

She probably didn’t have any fear because they probably aren’t abnormal. Just not pre-pubescent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:05 AM
20

Oh WOW. I’ve looked at other “here are normal labia” before but it’s like 5 examples. And no different views. I’ve never seen really large outer labia before. I guess that explains my confusion over some women mentioning “inevitable” camel toe. My pants would have to be wayyyyy too tight overall, so I didn’t understand how that could happen without severe pain. Also, I had no idea that the appearance laying down versus from the front don’t always appear to corollate. Fascinating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:59 AM
35

I really hope that isn’t a metaphor... 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:52 AM
10

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:48 AM
33

Personally, I can’t help but wonder what they might have sent. I’ll spend more time thinking about that than I’d ever spend fretting over what they actually did send. I just prefer having the information about his attempts and intentions versus not having the information. Is he trying to push into my life: “I talked to your friend...” Is he trying to take revenge? Stalking me? I have zero trouble straight deleting or leaving on read. His information supply, however, is fully and thoroughly cut o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:47 AM
26

Interesting label choices... Do they teach each other that? It’s never an Audi or Fendi...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:28 AM
41

I mean... That’ll buy you an Hermès passport cover. I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:27 AM
21

I love the canned responses that don’t match your feedback. Him: My dad beat me. That’s why I’m so sensitive. Me: Why? Were you a brat? Him: I know, it’s really hard feeling so many feelings. Me: Because you’re immature? Him: Dad would always tell me I wasn’t allowed to cry. Me: I mean... you are an ugly crier... Me: Is your whole side of the conversation scripted? Because you know that’s different than a conversation and if you haven’t caught on yet, I’m not here for it; that’s a story for your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:23 AM
23

Gossiping, bossy, and emotional are excellent and very accurate descriptors for men that aren’t used nearly enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:15 AM
7

Ummmm... Yes. I would say extreme is the right word. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:00 AM
13

I always say I’m “on a cut.” Or “trying to make weight” (for a sport I am definitely not that deeply competitive in.) Those are bro excuses and sound very serious to him- I’ve never had a word of argument. Later, if he’s worth more dates and any explanations, I’ll tell him I don’t especially like it. By then he’s already been trained not to pester me with offers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:39 AM
15

Agree. I actually tried that about a decade ago. The first guy said “I would love to have a baby with you!” just a few dates in. Stupid me thought that was charming and I wasted two years with that ass. The second time I tried it, I ramped it up to “I want six kids.” That guy enthusiastically responded “I want a really big family too! Six would be great!” Idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:34 AM
13

Oh weird... You’re totally right about valuing their version of honesty...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:13 AM
8

Oh innnnnnntesesting... I thought I hated facial hair, but I dated one man for about a year who looked really good with a beard. Maybe 1/2 inch long? I have no frame of reference... Now that you say that, he did groom it every morning- snip here, snip there. Just like a man who shaves spends time... Huh... corollary... I wonder if most men with beards have them because they’re lazy? Not because they actually prefer that look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:04 AM
14

Yeah... glad someone else said it first. This right here. Actually, it has happened, she barely made an appearance, and could spare a single day to help me out before rushing back home, an entire two miles from me. One day of help. Period. It’s heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:32 AM
18

Exactly. If she wants to reveal a shit man, and also claim him at the same time, she hasn’t wronged me or society in any way. She’s making a serious mess for herself and probably needs therapy, but she didn’t break any promises and a cheater is going to cheat. She’s just allowing herself to be a pawn and that’s sad. (I practice what I preach. I’ve had two fiancés cheat and I felt nothing but sympathy for these girls settling for distant second place, when I was willing and able to throw that who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:57 PM
5

I love the pre-wedding jitters question, “But do you love him?” As if that counts for anything. The question should be, “Is this a well thought out decision?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:42 PM
4

Reproduction is totally fair. Each person is in control of everything *in* their body, and exactly *when* it comes out. He even gets to go first. What would be unfair is if *he* got to veto what she does with her turn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:43 AM
2

I’m crying. Thank you for this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:34 AM
3

God love ya. I always wanted a big family but that didn’t work out for me personally. I thought maybe I could marry into some. It doesn’t work like that. Kids are little shits about their parents dating and these Disneyland dads get bulldozed by them. The kids basically always get their way, which means you’re toast. Maybe a widower? I don’t have any experience with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:29 AM
6

A pandemic breakup is extra hard. I don’t have any particular advice, just try to keep yourself busy and know we hear you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:59 AM
10

You are correct. Now we’re taking it and making it better. As per usual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:55 AM
14

Ehhhhh... I get the FDS sentiment, but Twitter is her advertising platform and saying that seems to be generating income... Directly as above, but then also 1,477 retweets? Free. Advertising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:48 AM
15

Exactly. Where’s the recognition for dog ladies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:41 AM
5

Was Rapunzel locked up with a spinning wheel, ie: a spinster? Or am I confusing stories?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:35 AM
18

EXACTLY! Hey, I can’t get anyone to touch my nasty penis, would you like to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:21 AM
13

With pickup lines like that, I absolutely believe he hasn’t been with anyone in months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:20 AM
5

So... 50/50 bills plus you do all the housework. That is very specifically *not* FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 07:16 PM
6

💯 Same height and weight range. I’m settled around 140 now. The difference is that for white women, in a Venn diagram, being dateable and a fetish are the same circle. My thought is that these may be more separated for WOC. So OP, I have a warning: When you get to “dateable”/trophy wife potential, I don’t know if you’ll have fewer people objectify you, but what you will have are more men being massively deceptive and putting in work on a long game to deceive you. You’ll think “Wow! It’s true! Be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:21 PM
6

Mayyyyybe six seconds is pushing it, I’d say the cutoff is six weeks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:28 AM
3

Oh darling- stagger those complaints but absolutely insist they be fixed! On Christmas, a cool “Oh. Thank you.” A few days later, “Actually, these brown boots do go with anything. Take me to exchange them.” Few more days, “This crossbody doesn’t really hold all the things I’d need that satchel for, take me to exchange it.” He knew what he did. Sweetly make it a serious pain in the ass to make “mistakes” like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:23 AM
3

Yes. I told my current interest that I thought he should say affectionate things more. He said “I thought we were going to take the love languages test together...” I was... irritated. I’m not picking one or two categories to have expectations and letting everything else slide, and I told him so! “All of them. All of them are “my love language.” If you have a couple of areas you have zero expectations in, fair play to let me know so I don’t bother, but for me- All.” He can walk right out the doo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:18 AM
3

You really don’t like anything? You have ocd- do you have a label maker? Would you like a gift card to the container store? Have you tried those meal kits that have everything already perfectly measured out? Oh, and also you just said in a very straightforward way exactly what you want. If they wanted to, they would. Applies more broadly than just boyfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:03 AM
13

Vanilla is extremely precious and the flavor is delicate but very rich. So I think it’s accidentally accurate. They should start saying “Your sex life is so artificial vanilla flavoring” if they’re going for an insult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:52 AM
12

Wow- that is not the swerve I (naively) expected. I thought the rebuttal would be “many men see sex workers out of loneliness and have perfectly ordinary sex with them.” Or some such. True or not, I thought that would be the argument. But nooooooo... “Men ALSO choke and rape women they love, moron.” Holy shit... How am I still shocked by any of this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:50 AM
3

Condoms have an insanely high effectiveness rate “with perfect use.” In other words, when you actually use them. No kidding they “don’t work” when they aren’t being used and I’m not kidding one bit- that is exactly how their effectiveness rate is calculated. Same for diaphragms- the effectiveness rate includes times they didn’t bother with it. Have you ever had a condom break? It’s a rubber balloon pulled tight. You know it right away. If he finishes anyway, that’s entirely on purpose. Condoms n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:43 AM
13

I think you’re talking about intentionally defaming a person for purely malicious reasons. That is a really high bar and it’s almost entirely used for revenge /domestic harassment/stalking cases. There’s no motive for this person to be malicious to this complete stranger, and also there is another purpose besides humiliation/financial loss to the guy. The motivation is to warn potential new victims who he has similar access to. 100% ok for this person to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:23 AM
8

Wow, that was my own micro-roller coaster. Like, “Well sure there are! Oh... two criteria... yeah, maybe not...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:43 AM
8

I gave them too much credit and assumed they got dolls to spare actual women their depravity. Silly me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:41 AM
21

Wow that is exceptionally elaborate, but ok. I approve. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:38 AM
16

ONLY TWO MILLION?!? BUT MEN NEED VARIETY!! IT’S BIOLOGICAL!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:33 AM
4

Isn’t it crazy- it takes material exiting from two bodies to make a baby. He controls the circumstances of his turn, and gets to go first even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:36 AM
5

Yes, about inhaling but also about unsafe ingredients. It isn’t just kinder eggs, it’s specifically illegal/automatically grossly negligent to put any non-food item inside a food item. I get that it’s silly in the particular case of kinder eggs, but it makes a certain kind of sense. How can you say it’s illegal to have shredded plastic mixed in food, but perfectly legal to have a giant chunk of the same plastic in the middle?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:29 AM
17

A very lucky mentee. They usually do want to have sex with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:32 AM
39

I’ve started saying “emotional” in place of “angry” when referring to men or a man’s behavior. If they look confused, I clarify, “You know anger is an emotion, right? Like, the most irrational emotion of all.” I love the reaction to that very very true statement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:28 AM
25

Google “schools failing boys.” New York Times, WaPo, hell- ed.gov is the FIRST result. No, this is not a reddit thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:23 AM
5

My father had a couple of similar ones: Just because someone asks you a question, it doesn’t mean you have have to answer it. Totally ok to just look ahead like you can’t hear them. Just because someone calls you, it doesn’t mean you have to answer it. Or call back. “Did you see I called? My message? Etc.” “Yes.” Dead blank stare in person, zero commentary on a message. Also, “Be busy, look busy, or hide.” Supplemented with “Always carry papers when you walk around the office.” This one is actua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:41 PM
13

Do it in Evernote or your notes app. Then you can add to it or review it anytime, anywhere!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:45 AM
11

This is why I will NOT date a man unless he’s paying for every damned bit of that. It still takes my time to get it done, but I’ll be damned if it also takes my money. Hell, I can’t even see myself most of the time, HE can. So he can foot that (stupidly expensive) bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:15 AM
6

How would that be phrased? Female...humans? Female...women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:18 AM
6

That’s the only thing I hate about swapping to an iPad- no dramatic closing. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:33 AM
10

Upper class = live off your assets. Ie: independently wealthy. Lower upper = new money. Upper upper = old money. Upper middle is anyone who relies on wages. So all “earners” top out in this category.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:58 AM
7

“If she needed money, then she should start adding more into her savings.” The fuck? She doesn’t have enough money, today, and the solution is to put a portion of the money she doesn’t have away for later?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:53 AM
7

Because wOMen aRe sO mYSteRiOuS! Like dude, I just explained each problem in a very clear way, gave exact solutions, and even threw in a couple of analogies because how can any human be so unable to hear something directly? But yeah, I’m probably just rambling because of lady hormones and you’re definitely doing everything possible to “make me happy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:42 AM
23

😂😂😂 Oh thank you. I needed that laugh so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:23 AM
14

No. Definitely not there yet. If I had half of what I’ve legitimately earned in life, I’d be set. If multiple men hadn’t wasted years of my life intentionally deceiving me, I could’ve had even more. I could’ve gone anywhere at any time of day- any business trip, etc. without it “looking suspicious.” People wouldn’t have kept me away from their families to try and control the bad behavior of their awful husbands. Hearing the experiences of single dads makes me bitter and resentful. Hell, a couple…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:12 AM
3

So... Yes, there is praise for black mothers but funny enough, as you just said they’re being praised because they’re also acting as fathers. Post a single bottle feeding pic. Literally no one will say “Wow momma! You’re killing it!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:52 AM
34

Same. What a disgusting commentary that my first thought was “Phhhewwww! Just sleazy, not a pedo. Thank god.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:13 AM
13

YES. A man once told me “It’s not all about YOU, carpedictum!” I was like- “Who is it supposed to be about? Because there are only two people involved here... Are you whining that I am not ALSO mostly concerned with what you want?” And that was the end of that. Thanks for making things crystal clear, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:02 AM
8

I would say it’s both a stereotype and somewhat true. When women are in awful relationships, they usually try to stick it out and go dead inside (instead of trolling for attention/sex on the side, like men). So when it’s over, you’re pretty attention starved AND gun shy about getting trapped. If there’s ever a time when you’d actually be more interested in casual sex, this is the time. ALSO, scrotes have been collectively improving their manipulation game while you weren’t thinking about dating-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:47 AM
20

See... this is the problem with comparing men. That isn’t the right standard. The standard should be “Am I happier with him or alone.” And you shouldn’t be dating until alone = pretty damned happy. If the answer is “happier alone,” you don’t have to rank him among men to justify that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:06 AM
59

I didn’t want you a little bit, but you’re offering me A LOT? FOREVER? Yes, please!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 11:38 PM
5

EXACTLY. WTF with this “having” it all. Like a career is “having” something and a family is a delightful thing that one just “has.” It’s all work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:21 PM
2

There used to be a joke- kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken. I think that about sums it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 10:14 PM
36

She should’ve said “there’s nothing wrong with you. Our culture pushed this narrative onto you, get help.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:51 PM
19

Do you want to be exclusive? Approximately then. Are you thinking “Why has he still not asked me to be exclusive? I’m on the edge of my seat waiting...”. Then it is too late. Leave him. Your feelings are mismatched and THAT is the problem. Personal experience: Men take about 6 weeks of dating to fall in love. They will probably ask you before then if you play it cool and focus on your own life. They can manage to keep it quiet and under control another 6 weeks (3 months total). So 3 months is th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:30 PM
13

Titles mean nothing ESPECIALLY during covid. Like dude, there’s a literal plague. No shit you won’t be seeing anyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:14 PM
4

☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:04 PM
7

Yeah that’s exactly what a lot of older men on there say... That was initially true when there were only photos and it showed a more exact distance. Years ago they added a bio section where you can describe/indicate what you want. Whether directly or by talking about actual hobbies that don’t involve penises. 5 years ago it was a good dating app, especially in big cities. 2-3 years ago it was reasonable and I only got the occasional 50-60 year old man telling me he “knows what I’m on Tinder for.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:39 PM
3

Well... Particularly after 40 or so, but at any age, HVM can have trouble if they’re stressed, worried about the relationship, or just not living a healthy lifestyle. BUT if that’s the case, they’ll do other... fulfilling... things for you, while accepting responsibility and seeking treatment. If the “treatment” they think will work is you doing kinky shit, or they’re just off sex/pleasing you entirely, or they’re in any way nasty to you about it: 100% it’s porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:25 PM
15

Ostensibly, it’s porn of a normal intimate sexual encounter. Vanilla sex, basically. Except for, you know, the inherent exhibitionism, voyeurism, and prostitution... It’s like handing out big bags of Tylenol with codeine and calling it harm reduction. Like, ok guys, I guess technically it is better than heroin and a dirty needle, but I don’t think you understand how addiction works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:06 PM
4

It’s a made up term that means you’ll tolerate bullshit without leaving. But if you’ve learned that dick is abundant, and breakups hurt really bad but not for very long, you won’t do that anymore. Red pill/PUA/generally scrote-like men say that like it’s a bad thing. As though the natural order of things is a trauma bonded virgin bride, “pair-bonded” as god intended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:31 PM
1

It’s amazing how they make you forget you have other real talents. Your primary purpose and special skill is not “being uniquely understanding and tolerant of bad men”, it’s writing. Clearly. Among other things I’m sure. Good luck to you, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:18 PM
8

Not actually replying to you, commenting on the hidden reply to you. Ladies! Please don’t downvote when you don’t like an OP’s bad crisis decisions. It hides the post and it’s very important information for everyone else. Instead reply and tell her to stop it. Please and thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:11 PM
9

They don’t all, it’s just normalized. Because it’s an echo chamber of men justifying one another. If you think it might be different if he quits, looks at the stats on alcoholism in veterans. He’s broken his brain and now he’s a bad bad man. It’s time to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:06 PM
2

Is she not white...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:33 AM
5

I am equally comfortable in a suit or jeans and a t-shirt! Just looking for my partner in crime!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:07 AM
16

Question THEM. If you don’t feel qualified to make a call at first blush, you can DEFINITELY make a call based on their reaction. You: Did you say that thing because you hate me? Because I feel like you probably hate me. Get rid of these guys Him: What? Don’t be absurd! I don’t hate you. goes back to what he was doing Him: You’re crazy! Is it your depression acting up? It’s probably because you had a shitty dad. See a therapist and miss me with that shit. Keep this guy Him: What do you mean? loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:38 AM
26

You’d be surprised at how quickly a parasite can find a host.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:21 AM
12

I heartily second the heated blanket. Truly the missing piece of the puzzle. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:19 AM
19

The story was 30 years ago, so the kids ship has sailed one way or another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:30 AM
42

I think a better comparison is booze. A woman might say yes to a nice cocktail when it’s the appropriate time and place. But men are all raging alcoholics. They’re happy to slurp up rank well vodka so long as it’s free. But they’ll toss that in the trash the second a bottle of scotch shows up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:38 AM
2

Well she didn’t even know this was happening until her sis is having surgery and mom couldn’t make it. So it doesn’t seem like sis is regularly pushing her problems onto her. And I’d be inclined to let one “You’re selfish!” comment slide from a very pregnant woman in a jam she didn’t expect (the mom being sick part).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:44 AM
10

They look like mine and I use OPI Red. That’s the actual name of it, not “Thrill in Brazil” or “Big Apple Red,” etc. Just “OPI Red” It has a nice true red, leaning blue base and I get a lot of compliments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 11:50 PM
6

I think this is only worth it if he’s a talking-to-friend more than a hanging-out-with friend. And in that case it’s still best to take a break until both of you are in happy relationships. Or at a minimum until he is in a happy relationship and that 100% doesn’t bother you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 11:46 PM
13

It’s a feature, not a bug.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 11:07 PM
35

Damn- aren’t you quite the writer. I read this sentiment a few dozen times a day, but you still gave me shivers. Impressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 10:24 PM
77

I never thought about it that way. Women actually can expect basically any man to talk to us, date us, etc. (Using broad strokes here, obvi) BUT- I don’t think I know any women who would be angry and hateful if they were rejected. Men: Never happens, still always feel entitled to it. Women: Usually happens, still doesn’t feel entitled to it. Interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 10:20 PM
2

Oh you’re so right. Also “a bit infatuated” doesn’t match “Like, literally” Totally imaginary person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:11 AM
11

Oh 100%, for anyone! All he has to do is say “Ohhh poor thing” and it basically feels like he went back in time and rescued you. Mega points, mega cheap. All undeserved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:03 AM
28

I just genuinely worry he’d be awful in bed. That’s a real thing and wayyyyyyy too common. Maybe wait until a ring and a date set...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:57 AM
112

I’ll add that if you’re accidentally in this circumstance, LIE (while you try to actually develop female friendships). Hell, read stuff on Reddit and attribute it to your friends Melanie and Claire (or more age bracket appropriate names if those don’t work). You don’t have to make up a whole fake life and activities, just fake women that you talk to regularly. Base them on an old friend so you can answer any simple questions easily (hair color? Favorite sports?). PROBABLY don’t use the old frien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:55 AM
20

All very true. Another factor is that the kids are often pushed into adult roles generally. So of course they should act like “grown folks” sexually. It’s sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:46 AM
14

18 and 19 are fully grown mature teens! Said some nasty scrote publisher, probably
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:41 AM
23

WeLl if YoU HaVE tOO mUch INTiMAcy YoU caN’T pAiR BoND!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:39 AM
31

May I humbly suggest you remove any references to things that might spoil them because that will draw in LVM like flies to honey. Get a HVM and then surprise him that you like to cook (or what have you).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:36 AM
69

I ALWAYS end that IMMEDIATELY with “Huh... Guess you have a type then because I, also, would take all your damned money/scream/throw your dinner out the window in certain circumstances. I’m sure she had a good reason. Unless, surely you’re not just an overall shit judge of character?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:33 AM
32

Uh no. They stop trying because you’re stuck, as stated more eloquently by this divorce lawyer ⬆️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:27 AM
73

It was a class of 2.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:16 AM
8

My guess is like the Big 10, SEC, etc. (5 colleges that mostly play among themselves.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:12 AM
11

Yes. Because they manage our expectations down and their demands up. I don’t know why we fall for that CONSTANTLY, but we do. So after a breakup, she’d like “Holy shit- life is so good without him!” and he’s, you know, the 100% opposite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:49 PM
126

Well now you’re just rubbing it in... (Teasing- this is the exact right place to do that. Congratulations! 🍾🎉 )
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:46 PM
52

If you were just now trying to make me gag on command- you win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:43 PM
7

Isn’t there some double plus seven rule? Something like that. Anyway, seven is gross, doubling is gross, but the concept of scaling it, rather than just a flat number, makes sense to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:40 PM
20

Oh wow. That’s just about as bad as it gets... Get well soon. (We upvote when we empathize, right? Sometimes that feels super wrong... “Way to go living an absolute nightmare!”)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:21 PM
3

My first exposure to “testerical.” Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:16 PM
6

Just purchased. 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:12 PM
14

Exactly. Two months is nothing! No time wasted on denial. Well done!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:50 PM
18

Oh. My. God. I ❤️💕💞💓💖💝 the Tinder notification setup. Amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 12:02 AM
6

I noticed that in women I went to school with at their jobs later. Like, sit your behind down- you are not getting the brownie points you think you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:38 PM
3

Ladies... if it’s in your way: machine, basket, etc, lay that laundry flat on his side of the bed. Point out how nice you were for keeping it from wrinkling. “Wasn’t that sweet of me? Moving your laundry?” Keep on until he agrees/thanks you. It will not be lost on him that you saved him exactly zero steps of the process AND he has to be grateful. Done and done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:35 PM
8

Holy shit. “Stupid/lazy adult scurvy.” Is what it should be called. Wowza
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:29 PM
39

Therefore also a movie based on it (if you’re lazy like me)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 10:04 PM
41

Yes. Never be with a man unless he can afford staff. Otherwise that staff is going to be you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:33 PM
21

What an awful title for that article. How about “Being a man makes men see women in bikinis as objects, scans confirm.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:13 AM
2

You know, I learned how to do this properly from black women. I’m white and I lived so much of my life never hearing a woman just offer an offhand compliment to another. I moved to my current city, which is a lot more ethnically diverse and it blew me away. Black women often will say “Love your bag!” “What a great dress!” “That’s such a pretty ring!” AND they’ll also just say something cheery when I’m visibly sad, “Things will get better.” etc. Like... wait... are you not sizing me up to determi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:44 AM
15

Yay! I’m so happy for you. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:16 AM
88

It’s “cryptic” because it actually means “I miss [getting my dick wet in] you.” See? It means sex but it’s vague enough that she might interpret it as “I miss [interacting with] you [as an actual human being].”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:11 AM
25

I’ve been fat before- when I got married to my LVM ex actually. I wouldn’t have said it, but that was my first thought as well. It’s such utter bullshit and I’m so glad women are starting to reject this garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:45 AM
5

Ohhhhhh related thought: We should start growling and biting when this doesn’t happen! Works for dogs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:02 AM
80

Right? I’m like, I know FDS is against the commercial sex industry, but this would be a masterpiece of an escort ad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:55 AM
66

Did she talk about meeting married men for anal only because their pleasure was her pleasure?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:51 AM
84

Unblock him and set his ass up! If he said it once, he’ll say it again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:13 AM
5

So... he did or did not “stick his dick in crazy?” Because he says he didn’t, so how would his take away lesson have helped him? Interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:40 AM
10

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:17 AM
14

I don’t know how you can separate that from just overall cultural programming. Society: Getting and keeping a man is the be all, end all! Also society: Don’t be so needy about keeping a man! You mUsT bE meNTaLly IlL!!! Maybe we should steal the term red pill because once you see it, holy shit there’s no going back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:02 AM
15

You just said, “I was super unhappy. A lot changed and now I’m very happy. I wonder- should I make myself unhappy again?” No girl, you should not! If you’re lonely, fix that. Go online and find interest groups. Maybe groups of women in your career field that are leveling up. Anything. Absolute worst case scenario, get on Tinder and remind yourself that Dick. Is. Abundant. You can’t possibly do worse than a long distance, boundary crossing (emailing you?) scrote. Can you do better? Eh, who knows,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:53 AM
2

That’s like a 40/40.5 in Euro sizing and super available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:40 PM
4

Why on earth would you give him any benefit of the doubt when she doesn’t even have access to an amount of money equal to train fare? And apparently no bank account because why would mailing cash be the go-to. No ID? Because wouldn’t Western Union be an option. He has her TRAPPED. He is evil. Full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 10:01 PM
36

Ehhhhhhhh... I used to think “Man, I wish traditional values still applied across the board. I’d love being Muslim, etc.” THEN I realized, wait... Actually my life would be an actual nightmare because my father was a jerk and would’ve married me off for his benefit, probably to a jerk. Islam is only FDS if all men are HVM. And that’s so far from the case that it’s an absolute fantasy. (Take the woman in the OP, for example.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 07:06 PM
1

Already done. They’re called XX chromosome persons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:44 PM
2

She was impregnated. Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:41 PM
26

Nah, sis. “Taking the high ground” is a trap. A narrative where you feel good about yourself for an action that benefits him financially. Get. That. Money. You sure the hell earned it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:19 PM
16

Eh... Rapists probably are repeat offenders. However, ask women if they’ve been raped. 1 in 6 hands go up. Now ask if they’ve ever been “taken advantage of” while drunk. Felt like they should just “get it over with” because they were scared or had no way out of the situation (would be stranded, for example). There are a hell of a lot more victims and offenders. Rapists are not rare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:39 PM
12

But... Surely money is more important to life than having a living hole for your ejaculate? If the poor were regularly murdering people for a handful of coins (like raping for one day’s worth of sex), would absolutely anybody say, “Well- there is a pretty big wealth gap. Whatcha gonna do? 🤷🏼‍♀️“
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:35 PM
1

Holy shit. #3: I have a great idea! I want to take a stunning breathtaking positive moment that you are providing me, and insert a memory of burning humiliation, from me to you. You game? 🤢🤡🙅🏼‍♀️🌪🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 02:57 PM
2

Oh girl... Get married first if you want to, but you gotta learn to say piss off to your family before you have kids. Otherwise they’ll be leading you (and them) around by the neck hairs forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 02:38 PM
5

That he expects you to contribute financially in any substantial way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:03 PM
5

If he’s a HVM, you wouldn’t be “putting up with shit you hate” and the point would be moot. If you have a LVM (or medium VM) but you’re hanging on because “What if I can’t replace him?!?” Girl, fold and draw a new hand. There are infinity more mediocre men available if you ever change your mind and decide you’re ok with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:02 PM
21

He literally baked a pie. That feels pretty above the minimum IMHO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:53 PM
2

I don’t know, I kind of like having an easy justification for demanding presents and acts of service. Because you know he’s going to call physical touch, which is duh, exactly what you already knew he wanted. And if I don’t like fucking him, I’m right out the door anyway. Win-win. TL/DR: Totally agree it’s nonsense but any weapon that can be used against you, can also be used by you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:47 PM
14

Exactly. Also. Raisedbynarcissists starts from the position that this treatment is atypical and damaging. Here, that situation is same shit, different day. Damaging yet 100% typical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:57 PM
0

I think AskFDS is more for men, and women who are questioning the principles. It exists to keep this from becoming a debate sub. This is a woman asking for FDS based advice. It fits the parameters as I understand them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:22 PM
1

The appropriate way is to not worry about being tactful or appropriate. Worry about protecting your assets and complying with eviction laws. Do NOT expect that throwing him out of the nest will force him to fly, he’ll appreciate it, then you’ll get back together. That will NOT happen. He will probably find another woman to mooch from. If he does start succeeding, he’ll never want a woman who’s ok with a loser (that’s you), he’ll want a perceived upgrade. He’s become a baby and your hormones are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:19 PM
16

Hashtag bigdickproblems
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:08 PM
2

Well... The only info you gave us is that he’s on Tinder, which is pretty neutral these days, and that he stopped talking to you in June, which is 100% proof that he is not interested. You, on the other hand, felt guilty over “ghosting” him, so much that you felt the need to give a deep and detailed explanation. And then gave him credit for saying Ok? First, it isn’t even called ghosting after only one date. Next, I’m wondering if you even really ghosted him or if neither of you followed up. Did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:02 PM
5

This. 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:46 PM
4

Oh sure it is! It’s basically the only compliment I give! (Only responding to your title, not the content. The FDS rule is give no compliments. I say it’s ok to compliment things they do for you. So “You’re so good at feeding me.” not “You’re an amazing cook.”) Heading down to breakfast now. 😁😋😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:41 PM
147

I tell men they’re “acting bossy and that’s a really annoying trait” all. The. Damned. Time. Meaning, when it’s accurate. I regularly get back “No one has ever said that before.” which leads to, “Maybe they just thought it was endearing, like a toddler, so they let it be.” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:15 PM
9

Aaaaahahaha! I’m such an idiot about the metric system that my first thought was “That seems like an unhealthy amount to lose so fast... That is a big number, right...?” Then I kept reading. Congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:59 PM
35

You’re so independent = I think I can get away with doing absolutely nothing for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:56 PM
48

🥴🤢🤮👩🏼‍⚕️🥀⚡️🚑🚁🏥☠️⛪️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:55 PM
7

White women are 100% always white man adjacent. All these men who care because they have daughters? We’re those daughters. We aren’t safe from any men regardless of race, but that’s a whole different thing. White women are very much second place in the rankings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:46 PM
8

On Line Dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:07 AM
52

That would be an exceptionally good outcome at this point. Fingers crossed but it’s more likely that in five years she’ll wonder what she’s doing wrong to make him ignore her and their children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:06 AM
79

Literally sitting here with my potato feeling called out 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:19 AM
75

Cool. Stay the fuck away from the sidewalks, roads, and parks that we, as a collective, provide ourselves, for our mutual benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:07 AM
4

Agree. “Affairing down” is a cope, which is still focused on the idea that it has anything to do with the woman. A cheater will “affair” whatever direction is available. And there are great women with low self esteem, who’ve had a variety of trauma and have been sold the fairytale of “the right one.” I’ve been cheated on plenty and feel nothing but heartache for the other woman as well. In one case, I already knew her a little and did some free work for her (maybe 10 hours) so she’d have more op…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:43 PM
17

100% I don’t forgive you. I fully remove myself from anything having to do with you, snubbing and actively mocking you when forced to interact for some reason. THAT is how to avoid being bitter or resentful. “Forgiving” when there hadn’t been actual legit contrition would always feel bad,.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:30 PM
2

Yesssssss. Girl, same. A couple of small compliments and suddenly they’re a gourmet chef. Also mostly same on the last guy. I cooked every day, lots of little stuff like that. I was the gf, but he started hedging about getting the apartment together we’d agreed to. Boy, bye. Major upgrade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 10:48 PM
2

I just learned this - the new bf loves cooking for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:24 PM
27

Agree. Seems Covid related. Especially since he’s probably heard that the teachers are high risk, hence why they have to be careful and masked or do school online. It’s a pandemic. He’s checking in. Very sweet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:02 PM
21

😳😳😳 Actual words fail me here...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 05:56 PM
1

You can probably add your name with a single form you can get online. Seriously. In the US you can. Google Quit Claim deed for where you are. He signs “quitting his claim” and transferring it to the two of you jointly. Probably needs to be notarized. Then you file it wherever deeds are filed where you live. That’s all the advice I’m comfortable giving, but you can google for a diy guide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 05:50 PM
17

Well right- that wasn’t a gross joke so him explaining it wouldn’t work to shame him. So- laugh when it’s just unwanted, demand an explanation when it’s downright inappropriate. That seems like a good distinction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 07:33 PM
2

And they’re like toddlers. Practically every time a guy has been here, he’s damaged something. No kidding! It’s like they aren’t aware of how their body moves through space. Or that their much heavier body should not just be flopped/slammed down when they get close enough to furniture. Don’t even get me started about how actually NO ONE can hygienically pee standing up, but men think they can. Like... it isn’t an anatomical difference, asshole, it’s a difference in standards of what it’s ok to p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:35 PM
2

Nah. The good men are gone at 35, plus you can date people who are younger! Not by a gross amount, obvi, but your pool starts at about 25, and there are for sure plenty at 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 11:59 AM
2

You keep thinking about him because Covid. Who/what else are you going to default to thinking about? You need to intentionally pick a new thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:35 AM
7

I tell this to women friends on the regular. I’m like, “Do you feel that other people will abandon you or you can’t understand their intentions? Children, friends, etc? No? Do you have a lot of emotions that you’ve regularly been told are irrational by multiple people? No? Because if it’s only with him, the problem IS HIM!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:28 AM
12

Wow, way to bury the lede. The house that they share? Throw that whole ass man away! You’re the side piece, guaranteed, end of. The rest is just commentary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 05:54 PM
1

The guts. The nerve. The chutzpah. Alternatives for next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 06:01 AM
6

I hope she trades him in for a younger model.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:47 AM
8

Is once a day incessant though? I’ve never considered it a requirement, but in any good relationship I’ve had, they’ve done that. Just “Hope your presentation goes well!” or “Thinking about you.” or “I got some scallops to cook this weekend- bay, like you like!” It communicates two things: one, he likes you enough to think about you every day and two, he’s emotionally available and not trying to play it cool. I suppose if he expected timely replies or long conversations it would be grating, but.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:31 AM
80

I don’t know what to say here. If this were in person, it would be a clear “please gently encourage me to tell you.” But we’re on Reddit and I feel pretty sure you aren’t looking for a request to post it. So instead I’ll just say- I see you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:51 AM
6

Ahhhhh... I think I see. You’re attractive. So even a perfectly harmless man might go a little bezerk in your presence, and nasty women need to balance your joy scale for all the amazing perks you probably get ALL THE TIME. /s. Sort of. It’s a pretty non/s account of what they think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:45 AM
9

I honest don’t think this is a good idea for an amateur to do. It’s extremely expensive to have them initially trained, and then it has to be maintained. ANY dog will attack when there’s actual danger to their human, so just get a big one. Having a dog that’s trained to attack based on it’s hearing a command, overriding their natural instincts about when and who to attack, is just opening a big old unnecessary can of worms. ​ You ladies with breeds picked out, that have clearly researched the tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:40 AM
10

If she is doing that, absolutely REFUSE to be the executor. Even if she specifically names you, you have every right to just say “Nope.” Even if you agreed to it while she was alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:49 PM
22

Claiming that you’re faking bathroom breaks is unquestionable and direct acknowledgement that he knows you don’t want to be there. What a nasty rapey scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:22 PM
3

Yeah agree. It’s more like being an unpaid mentor. Oh but wait... while you’re doing all this bullshit service, they do act like their the boss... So I guess the analogy does hold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:18 PM
8

How did he “support” the female birth team? Because the end part is literally just humoring him like a toddler. “And I helped!” because the midwives allowed him to stick his hand in their way while actually delivering the baby, and allowed him to operate the scissors after they decided the correct time and place to cut said cord. Right here, in this post, you’re giving him SO MUCH credit for merely expecting to be appeased like a child. While you did all of the actual work, pain, and suffering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:15 PM
18

Well... Unwed mothers receive equal child support AND in most states, in the absence of a court order, there is a presumption of full maternal custody. An unmarried woman with three kids can say “See ya!”, move across the country, and file to get child support. If he wants custody or visitation, he’ll have to get himself there to have it. He can’t claim the child was kidnapped and force them to return. And he can’t take the kids and run off, that would be kidnapping. So, there are some benefits …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:00 PM
8

Sort of an empty threat though, no? The dudes saying this shit are in zero danger of getting their dicks “sharpened.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:51 PM
21

From my extensive research, ie: binge watching 90 day fiancé, I think she agreed to be financially responsible for him for 10? years. Totally agree on not seeking revenge, but opposing his citizenship might be protective for her. A lawyer can sort out what she should do next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:47 PM
9

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 01:13 AM
24

Lady... You’re 28. You have no children you aren’t able to care for, you aren’t legally tied to a garbage man. Do you have a serious drug problem? Gambling addiction? You’re about to graduate! I don’t mean to diminish your pain, I know it hurts, but I think it’s important to recognize that you are OBJECTIVELY NOT a failure. You’re doing better than at least 75% of your peers. AT LEAST.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:29 AM
7

Date them! Would you ever meet a truly HVM and then say, “Yeah, but like, we don’t really have a reason for being in each other’s lives.” Heck no. He’d be inventing things for you to do, just to spend time together, and you’d be happy to go. So when you meet an interesting woman, pursue her in the same way you’d expect a HVM to pursue you. (Modified a bit, hopefully that part is obvious...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:07 AM
24

I was once at an event where he had a big reserved area. A friend dared me to sneak in and I was like, “Oh hell yeah, easy. I’m 40, he literally couldn’t see me even if he looked directly at me!” I did the sneak. Funniest pictures I’ve taken in a long time. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:38 AM
0

The problem is that being a HVM is boring. Making your coffee every morning, picking up his own laundry, grabbing your favorite tea on the grocery run without being asked. Taking care of a sick kid. Volunteering in his community. Being kind to random strangers. Sure, a HVM will sometimes give big gifts or make public displays of devotion, but assholes do that too, so it’s nearly impossible to accurately identify a HVM from a distance/online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:33 AM
2

Exactly. It would be the highest level of inbreeding possible. I’m not clear on the math, but it would be either 50% or 100% MORE inbred than a child of siblings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:47 PM
2

Well, that also depends on where you live. In plenty states, it’s all over but the crying before they get to vote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:41 PM
73

Yes! Say no a LOT. If he comes back with “Ok. Let me know if there’s anything I could do to make you more comfortable, but no pressure.” If he has any other reaction, that’s excellent information to have early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:27 PM
14

Here’s the only “test” for a HVM at your age: Do you feel fabulous nearly all the time about your relationship? When you do not feel fabulous, does he listen and genuinely work to fix the problem? That’s it. Commitment? Pretty early on he should tell you he only wants to be with you. Doesn’t need to be a separate rule though because if he didn’t, you’d feel crummy, wouldn’t you? Judging a man on potential is high risk at best, but in your age range that’s really all you’ve got to work with. So f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:20 PM
16

Not just physically overpower - women hitting on someone is usually being vaguely annoying asking him about his life, and maybe offering to do stuff for him. Men? They get gross and angry FAST.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:12 PM
10

Tacos! Yes!!! So many quirky taco eaters on OLD!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:08 PM
3

I don’t even pretend I made other plans (or deny it). I just say I mentally prepare for the things I need to do each day. If he isn’t on the list before I wrap up work the day before, he sure as hell won’t be worked into the schedule that day. It’s stressful and I will not be stressed over playtime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:27 PM
3

Nirvana: There are probably no men who are worthy and who will love me. If I stumble into one, cool. If not, also cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:21 PM
3

There were plenty outdoor activities that were done safely. Everyone masked. Small “pods” kept together for play. My example is pretty rare so I won’t use it, but there were a lot of safe golfing and (modified no-Touch) softball leagues. If everyone is working from home, avoiding indoor restaurants, and always wearing a mask, there was little risk in zero contact sports played in masks in small pods outdoors. Probably not safe enough for a 70 year old diabetic, but it felt safe to me and I was s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:04 PM
3

Is the correct term a magic word so they’ll admit all wrong doing and melt? No. We don’t have to avoid their arguments because we don’t care what they think. Let the mental health specialists differentiate. Colloquially- use pedophile. Has the exact right gross connotation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 02:42 PM
71

I have a 100% block/delete/swipe left policy for anyone who says they’re looking for a “partner in crime.” It’s one part trite and one part loud declaration of being emotionally unavailable. You can’t just say partner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 02:35 PM
20

You can google “Who commits rape? Men or women?” and scroll through the metric shit ton of thorough answers to your question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 02:23 PM
4

Huh... When I hear “all fetuses start female,” I think “then sometimes parts of their body fall outside.” or “then some develop extra crap.” I would never think of that as being more developed or “women plus,” any more than I would think of melanoma as more developed skin or “skin plus.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:42 AM
10

But his real complaint is first: that the women he’s buying don’t care about his feelings. Translation: won’t do more work for free. THEN he says they’re destroying society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:14 AM
6

The crying part is what I didn’t know...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:57 AM
15

Please tell me you responded with, “He means Asian ex-girlfriend.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:49 AM
10

But “she” likes those things, which “she” likes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:22 AM
33

Ooofffff I like the tattling, I’m a little concerned about tattling on the tattler. If they guy is abusive, he could hurt her over it. OP should’ve hit the road with an “I’m just not feeling it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:12 AM
6

‘Dating” women friends is truly a game changer. You’ll find your tribe, you sound really nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 03:50 AM
10

Yes. And if you’re passionate yet vanilla, they will follow you around like a lost puppy, telling you they can “feel your soul” etc. Vanilla is the new exotic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:45 AM
10

There’s nothing wrong with his speed, but the whole “fine art of my ex girlfriends naked” thing is bonkers. Is the stable income from the “fine art?” Has he been recognized in any way for his work? On display in any real galleries? If yes, I personally would still nope the hell out, but it’s all reasonable. If not, he’s just another pervy scrote collecting trophies and keeping exes orbiting and vulnerable. Also, what makes you think he didn’t initially take clothed photos of those women, before …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:37 AM
8

Replace those friends first. If you going looking for a man from this needy place you’re at, no shade, truly, you will find someone awful and not want to let go. Is there even one woman at work who you think is pretty cool? Try putting the same effort into making a friend that you would put into a man. Scope out just the right one, plan fun things, stay in regular contact, stay 100% positive while you get to know each other, and ALSO, bounce the frick out of there and move on if your friendship …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:29 AM
3

Well... he’s right, it isn’t professional. If it’s some crazy good soulmate connection, it could possibly be worth it, but if you don’t both agree that you want to be bold and take a risk, then it definitely is not that special. Dating coworkers is bad, ok, but more importantly here, you just aren’t on the same page. It’s totally professional to marry a colleague, happens all the time. It’s totally unprofessional to date around among your colleagues. After several months, he’s decided you guys a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:29 AM
9

Ugh. Yup, just another check mark on the modern requirements list for a trophy wife..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 04:14 AM
9

It’s probably only one hour outside the city without traffic. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:59 AM
14

The counterpart to guys would be gals. “Females” is gross and honestly... I wouldn’t continue a conversation, and definitely not a relationship of any kind, including friendship, with a person who says this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:53 AM
21

But... then wouldn’t he be walking slowly beside her? I really hope you’re right and I’m wrong...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:54 AM
3

Omg agree. He shows a hint of getting it, but ultimately he does. Not. Get. It. At all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:22 PM
21

It’s important to be happy alone. But you shouldn’t stay with a man if you feel happIER alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:14 AM
6

It says the 25 dates were over the first year and a half. She’s been with her husband for five years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:13 AM
15

He specifically told her he believes in standing on ones own two feet. How would that come up in such a way that she thought it might apply to her hospital stay? As opposed to him randomly mentioning it as part of his right wing economic theory. So yeah, he told her loud and clear- do not count on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:02 AM
11

This is why I would NEVER NEVER insist a man share his feelings. I will never have to deal with the “Well you asked for it” imaginary free pass and If it’s his instinct to keep that shit inside, who am I to insist he trot out his nasty thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:52 PM
11

Oh that makes so much sense! (About who lets themselves go) The same women who diet and workout more when single to get a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:53 PM
35

YES!!! Block delete for randos, but when the question is asked in a more appropriate setting, I always say, “Depends- what are you good at?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:49 PM
10

Ehhhhhh... What you can tell is how much money they have. That’s almost certainly the source of the “relaxed face” on women with worthwhile husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:08 PM
5

He probably won’t try and convince you to stay and that has nothing to do with how desirable you are. He won’t try because he can tell you’re fully done putting up with him. Be strong. You will be ok and so much better off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:44 AM
10

Sooooo the Netherlands? Definitely the front runners on going Dutch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 09:39 AM
6

Best I can tell, having mentally and physically healthy children that you can afford with a legit HVM is a wonderful experience. Sooooooo ultimately, most of us end up missing out on “something great.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:07 PM
29

Sometimes you gotta remove “the benefit of the doubt” with a pressure washer. That’s why I’m here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:44 PM
15

So, my dog hates little boys, probably because they’re rough when they try to pet her. Here’s my question- how can she differentiate boys and girls? They don’t have pheromones to speak of, she hates boys with long hair, still loves girls with short hair. And she decides from a distance. The more logical thing is that she would hate children, but nope. Just boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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