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LadySandcastle Archive

View 2 posts and 402 comments by LadySandcastle on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

You take care of your sisters baby? Why is that?
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 11:04 PM
3

If she complains about the dishes all the time, it's no longer about the dishes. That is so true and really good to keep in mind. Constant shit testing just leads to men emotionally checking out of the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 11:01 PM
4

Emotions have a wide range. You don't have to necessarily be sentimental to be feminine. You can be joyful, energetic, passionate etc. Blunt is fine in workplace settings, just not rude. Lifting weights is just taking care of your body. Many many women whom I would call feminine lift weights. Is there a difference in how you act professionally (school and work) vs socially? You can be calm, understanding and fun to be around without being overly sentimental and sad so long as you aren't acting c…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 08:08 PM
6

Can you give examples of how you believe you're coming across as masculine? There are feminine ways to be ambitious depending on how you present yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 06:48 PM
1

Be careful with your nails. A lot of gel kits are starting to cause allergic reactions on people. Check out r/redditlaqueristas and the salon life on YouTube(she has a lot of 'gentle' manicure tutorials that are exactly what you need). As someone who worked at a beauty store you can get just as good if not better skincare and makeup at the drugstore. If you have long or high maintenance hair it's worth investing in more expensive products for that. Favorite beauty subs: r/Longhair r/Asianbeauty …
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/23 05:09 PM
7

I love those ideas for the wiki. Being 4 weeks post partum I'd love to see more pregnancy/PP related content because it's such an emotionally charged time in a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/23 09:24 PM
5

Welcome :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/23 06:38 PM
1

Are you dating? This is a weird dynamic..
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/23 08:30 PM
2

I always make him red velvet cupcakes from scratch (our favorite flavor). I can't do it this year because I just gave birth but I usually find an affordable lacey nighty to put on for an extra spicy night.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/23 06:33 PM
2

If you're tradcon sure, there is a stronger argument for it. Plenty of women are successful without waiting because they vetted the men well enough.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 02:06 AM
1

There is no better man than my husband. He's got faults of course but I've never doubted he's the best partner for me.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 07:24 PM
1

Oh no worries lol! Like I said I'm pretty bad at putting my thoughts into words at this point so I understand I'm confusing to talk to. That's true. I never spent much time checking out the men's forum honestly so I don't have a good grasp to comment on the differences, other than the agendas were obviously different. The original post already should be tossed out according to the rules honestly seeing as it seems like a man from the RP subreddit come to air their grievances...we can't really do…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 10:47 PM
1

Moreso that a man is being shown less favor (downvotes) for his opinion in a female forum (by my assumptions for his wording). I guess that can be equated to the women being given favor..I think of it as neutral on that side but I can see where that's up to interpretation. And I'm really only speaking about this comment here, the overall debate of the RP and RPWs subs is way more nuanced.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 10:18 PM
2

I agree with you. We are making the same point. You asked why was it being downvote and I answered that's probably why...not that I agreed with it.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:57 PM
0

I didn't state anywhere that women were being favored. You can see my reply to the other user if you want more context.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:52 PM
3

Where did I say they didn't suffer? I actually said in my original reply to you that they do. And I agree with the original comment, men's issues are constantly ignored. I'll reiterate the point of my original reply. Claiming that men always have it worse than men is as silly a statement as BPed people saying women always have it worse. It is a pointless blanket statement that isn't true and doesn't accomplish anything. It creates a stupid one up type debate where all sides are defensive and doe…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:48 PM
2

Legal rights and social privileges still do not encompass all life experiences. This back and forth men vs women who has it worse only leads to people becoming less open.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:39 PM
0

Regardless of RPWs existence it would still be unfair censorship.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:12 PM
-2

I'm guessing because taking it as a blanket statement it isn't always true, but the reverse is not either. Reality is sometimes the women are favored and this would be one of those times. People get too hung up on requiring disclaimers.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:11 PM
10

If you haven't bothered to read any of the material how can you assert your assumptions about it are true?
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:05 PM
4

From a healthcare workers perspective there are very few benefits to supplements if you have an adequate diet. Eating a healthy and varied diet is the best thing you can do to ensure you get the proper vitamins and minerals. I do take a prenatal everyday, and will continue to after birth because I do like all my bases to be covered. I also take fish oil because high cholesterol runs in my family and we don't eat oily fish as often as I'd like to. Collagen supplements have clinically shown some i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 09:03 PM
18

Why are you working? Does your household need the income to survive or is it just preference for you? If you are working because you want to and not because you need to then it sounds like you and your husband have different values. Having a stay at home wife sounds important to your husband. If his income can sustain it he could be lashing out due to insecurity. If his income does sustain it then he is building resentment towards you. You can't handle a full time job and all of the household, a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 02:50 PM
30

This is a prime example on why RP men are not generally a good fit for an RPW. We want different things. There also any set amount of time or dates that you should wait to have sex for. It's about properly vetting a man.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 02:36 PM
2

Men don't do subtle communication so I would just sit him down.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 02:34 PM
3

I'm currently 9 months pregnant and even though everything has gone very well for me I want to emphasize that what you will need more than anything else is support. It sounds like it's primarily the birth that scares you but there are smaller worries/anxieties that crop up throughout the whole process that I and no one in my pregnancy group were ready for. I believe you could do this, you just need the right people surrounding you. Talking through your fears with a therapist can really help you …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 02:02 AM
1

Then message the mods directly, don't take over someone else's post asking for advice. That's awful manners not to mention directly against the rules stated in the sub sidebar.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 01:42 AM
7

I've been there. I dated a guy in highschool and it took me about 6 months to get where you are now. It was one of the best learning experiences for me, as it taught me a lot about what I actually wanted in a man. Break up with him but use the experience to vet the next guys better.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 07:14 PM
15

I think this is really dependent on your goals here. If your goal is a stable, monogamous LTR then the problem here is communication. You need to communicate your feelings to him and he needs to be open to you about what's going on. Even if you are alright with the drug use he should talk to you about it in case anything happens. There isn't anything wrong with being uncomfortable your partner is inebriated with a past partner. Most people wouldn't hesitate to set that boundary if the friend wer…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 06:36 PM
4

Aw Pearl you will be missed! Wishing the best for you always :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/23 04:12 PM
3

Using anything scented (ie the panty liners) in that area is a huge recipe for yeast infections.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 07:54 PM
2

I plan to keep up with my prenatal vitamin long-term, it has more than a standard multivitamin. Collagen supplements are good too, but from what I understand only verisol collagen has been scientifically documented to work. The tricky things with vitamins in the US is that the FDA does not cover them at all. The closest you can get is USP certified. The USP conducts tests to ensure that 1) the claimed vitamins are present in the amounts listed and 2) they absorb into your body correctly. This is…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/23 02:55 AM
2

Allrecipes website, tasty, Julia Pacheco on YouTube. All of the recipes I've made from them have been a huge hit!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 05:44 PM
0

Maybe r/marriedredpill?
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/22 07:23 PM
3

RPW actually states red pill men generally don't make good partners. We use redpill as a toolbox that everyone is free to apply into their own life however they see fit. There is no 'core set of values' other than we enjoy being in a male led relationship. This is all in the sidebar.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/22 12:41 AM
56

I would drop it. He has a lot to work on right now, and if he was ready to jump in with you there would be no doubts. You should never have to coerce a man into making it official with you, if he wanted that himself it would already be done.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/22 08:44 PM
4

I'm sorry but there is no way he's completely naive to how he comes off. The entire family gets together to back up the person he's verbally bringing down? Your family refuses to talk to him? His own family stopped inviting him places and tell horror stories of his behavior? He wants to do this. You've brought it up multiple times. He knows. If he wanted to change he would.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/22 12:59 PM
4

I've never been asked directly. Sometimes the conversation came up naturally after some time but that was after we were already established. I think it can be pretty obvious when a woman is more promiscuous vs modest.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/22 02:03 AM
2

Some of my favorite subreddits for glow up inspiration are: r/asianbeauty I've had a lot more success with asian skincare overall and most of it is more affordable. They really focus on hydration and glow unlike the west that loves strong active ingredients. r/muaonthecheap Awesome subreddit to find sales. r/haircarescience and r/longhair Most of the good content of haircare science is in the old posts but these two subreddits helped me find out why my hair gets damaged so easily. r/modestdress …
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 09:01 PM
4

From your post history you work part time at an entry level position which likely doesn't offset coats of daycare/babysitter. At that point your options are become a full time stay and home mom and budget accordingly or go to school to get some sort of degree or certification for a higher paying career. Really the best person to ask these questions is your fiance, not reddit.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/22 02:16 PM
4

I listen to a lot of lofi or oldies playlists.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/22 01:46 AM
1

It sounds like you need to sit down with him and talk about expectations. A lot of people consider it reasonable for the person not bringing in income to handle the house chores and cooking, but if that's leaving no time for you to work on your projects you'll have to negotiate that. Him giving you attention is also a different issue. Maybe your love languages don't like up (yours could be words of affirmation but his could be touch). I'd tell him straight up what I wanted like 'id love it if we…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/22 04:24 PM
2

It sounds like you are in love with the man he presented to you in the beginning, as well as the man you assume he can become again - but not actually the man himself. Only he can change for the better and it doesn't sound like he's motivated to do that, so what he's giving you now is what you will always get. You'll have to decide if that's what you want or not.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 04:18 PM
2

Collecting different scents is pretty popular for a lot of women. They make entire YouTube collection videos haha.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 12:30 PM
8

Baking, diy crafts, shopping, interior design, gardening, body care (lotions, bath products, nail painting).
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 02:08 AM
6

I remember reading a similar sentiment, maybe from here or maybe from Lauren Doyle's book. I agree there will probably come a time where even 'HVM' husband's crack and struggle to keep their cool. I think the men call this maintaining frame? I also agree it's important to have patience during these times and don't let resentment build. I've accidently helped release Pandora's box a couple times and it was difficult for us to work through, but ultimately I think my husband and I learned a lot abo…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/22 01:16 AM
57

I let people share their beliefs with me. If I disagree I keep it to myself. If they ask me what I think about something I answer vaguely. Bring more private like this in general has made me much happier.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 08:22 PM
8

Feminine and chic. Sometimes she leans into the cottagecore looks with some dresses.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 10:52 PM
15

The entire concept of 'incels' was invented by a woman. So an incel.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 09:15 PM
6

There is a huge difference in removing the stigma of suicide and...this. You should be a fully realized person outside of any relationship for it to be healthy. You should have your own goals, dreams, values, beliefs etc. This builds the foundation for any healthy human relationship. It's fundamental for avoiding toxic codependancey. Reminds me of how people romanticize Romeo and Juliette despite that totally not being the point. Assigning to value to life is not healthy and even if you don't ha…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 03:31 AM
6

I'm personally going to be a stay and home mom until the kids are in school. After that I'll go back to work because my husband and I would like to enroll them in a private school, so my salary would go towards that.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/22 01:05 PM
29

I lost weight for my now husband. I was higher on the bmi scale, not overweight but too close for my comfort. I met my husband and I knew pretty fast I wanted a life with him. He's a big health nerd, goes to the gym at 6am and watches his protein intake the whole thing. I knew I had to better myself if I wanted to keep him so I dropped about 25lbs and educated myself on healthy eating. We've really gotten to bond over it and it has been really nice! I tell him all the time that his coming into m…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/22 01:03 PM
12

It's covered in the sidebar, and this question has been asked a few times here.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/22 04:41 PM
2

I've looked into a lot of procedures out of interest (I haven't gotten any myself yet) and in my opinion the thing I learned is that most cosmetic work is undetectable. Some people like the fake sexy look and that's totally okay for them, but I think it's exaggerated by people who haven't had anything done themselves thinking all plastic surgery ends up like that. Most people don't go overboard or even get enough to be noticable. If it brings people happiness for their short time here on earth I…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/22 10:08 PM
1

I've found most people just want someone to listen to them. If they wanted advice or a perspective they ask for it directly 'what would you do?' etc. I focus on just actively listening to people, trying to put myself in their shoes. I usually ask if they're okay too.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/22 11:22 PM
3

This is honestly why I find the whole rhetoric of 'men and women can be friends!' so problematic. Majority of the time there is an undercurrent there...
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 11:04 PM
8

That's a really great response. I'm saving that myself, it sounds like it would help de-escalate from both sides.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 07:20 PM
9

I think it's going to vary from couple to couple. If you haven't dated much and are fairly young you might want to wait a bit longer and see how you both work together throughout those really value forming years of young adulthood. My husband and I met mid twenties. We'd both been in serious relationships before which helped us learn what works and doesn't work. We married after two years, which isn't even super fast compared to some people but we still got the stank face from someone working in…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 04:37 PM
1

Well plain yogurt just tastes pretty bad to me lol. Fruit like blueberries or strawberries add almost no calories but are nice healthy carbs. You could use full fat yogurt if you want, I eat it more for the protein and I get my fats elsewhere. Nonfat yogurt is also lower in calories. Obviously not by much but when you're a healthy weight already and just trying to trim down you have to make sure the extra calories don't add up on you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 01:17 PM
2

Yep, meal prepping! r/mealprepsunday has some good ideas and there are a lot of awesome videos on YouTube.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/22 04:53 PM
8

Losing weight is more about diet. I downloaded myfitnesspal and it walks you through how many calories you need to eat a day to lose weight at a healthy pace. It's also helpful to keep after reaching your goal because you can put it into maintenance mode. Ultimately it's a lifestyle change. If you just diet temporarily but go back to your same diet after achieving weight loss you'll just gain it again. Adding in exercise is also super important for health in general, you just don't want to build…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/22 01:21 PM
26

Three is nothing. It could be important to him, but he could also be clutching at straws for reasons not to commit. He's incorrect that all men would think that way.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/22 01:54 AM
1

Okie dokie.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/22 05:32 PM
7

Hm maybe try a country club?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/22 02:22 AM
3

I saw a comment somewhere where a woman said she dedicated a certain amount of time every night to put down her phone/other large distractions so her husband could chat to her. Maybe something like that? Chores depend on lifestyle I think. I do dishes everyday but I think we make more dishes than most lol. Sweeping the kitchen could be nice if that isn't too hard on your body.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/22 12:20 AM
3

I have ADHD too and it has been an ongoing struggle, I totally understand what you mean! I think finding small routines is important. I got into the habit of picking up the clothes as I get up in the morning on my way to the laundry room. I also make sure to do a round of dishes in the morning (I don't give myself an exact time because that would be overwhelming so I just stick to morning time so it's ready to go by dinner). Some of the best cleaning advice I've read is every time you go to leav…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/22 12:16 AM
2

The collosal foot rasp on amazon is amazing for getting off calluses! I usually do that once every couple of weeks and just try to make sure I use lotion every night. I haven't gotten to try it myself but the okeefs foot balm is probably really good because the one they have for hands is a lifesaver. I've been meaning to throw in some moisturizing foot masks too, I hear the Sephora brand ones are nice. I also use a nail tool to remove the cuticles on my toes and file down my nails instead of cli…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/22 01:57 PM
27

Foot care. Making sure your heels are smooth and hydrating, especially in sandal season.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 09:35 PM
13

That's a very vague question and completely depends on the personalities involved/their communication styles, nature of the relationship etc.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/22 07:40 PM
4

Omg don't make me cackle at work lol!
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/22 12:59 AM
6

A lack of empathy is a perfect way to describe it! Definitely a hard pass.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/22 12:53 AM
8

Yeah kind of impossible to reason with a man who apparently doesn't consider a woman bearing children any kind of risk to her lol.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/22 12:48 AM
20

Goes completely against most of our beliefs.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 10:08 PM
3

That's really tough. It reminds me of a book I read a long long time ago called 'loose girl' where a woman reflected back on her life when she was going through similar struggles. Wishing the best for you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 05:43 PM
30

I don't personally believe you can come back from this in your current relationship. You've made it pretty obvious it doesn't take much effort on his part to get you into bed and it sounds like your relationship outside of that is shallow. Of course he'll agree with you on the phone to calm your nerves but he's obviously not taking celibacy seriously lol. Once you have sex with a man you're dating backing out of it is just going to make them give up and go for another. He's not going to wait for…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 01:50 PM
1

Yeah I mentioned my inspiration came from the old oys in redpillwives as well as from the accountability thread in r/loseit. Redpillwives doesn't get much engagement as it has 11k members to our 62k.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 07:13 PM
8

In the other thread I ended up thinking about and agreeing a lot with the poster who said the men's redpill oys formula might not work as well in a women's rp forum due to our different nature's. I wasn't familiar with the men's oys threads when I first checked in and that's definitely on me, but I don't see a tough love style thread working out long term because I do believe women react more positively to emotional support and men react more positively to the 'tough love'. I think an oys style …
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 06:18 PM
14

The men in the male redpill forums are much more qualified to give you advice.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/22 09:22 PM
1

I've never weight lifted and at least before pregnancy have always had an hour glass waist to hip ratio. I could definitely improve my fitness, which is why I'd just choose another way to measure my journey in a thread. Keeping in mind some women have naturally wider rib cages they can only decrease waist measurement by so much. You can add muscle mass to your butt and that makes it look good but adding a layer of fat over it is what makes it pop imo(I'm thinking Stephanie butter more), but you …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 08:53 PM
5

You mean one that goes in the bottom of your tub, or a mat that sits outside of it on the bathroom floor? If you mean in the tub you could try a bamboo stool instead so you could sit and do your routine without fear of slipping!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 08:07 PM
1

Ah okay that makes sense. I've seen the redpillwives thread and the loseit one and they were based more around support whereas the accountability aspect came from you admitting how well you did essentially. Context would be really helpful in that case then thank you for explaining that.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 08:04 PM
1

You can have an excellent waist to hip ratio without eating well of exercising, so long as you're eating low calories. You can frame it as an overall health goal. Like I said it sounds awesome for people to put in but I would not require anyone list it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 07:56 PM
1

If the idea is an accountability thread where you just post updates to keep yourself motivated I don't see why you'd need it unless it was one of your personal goals. I'm not arguing that weight isn't important lol. Are you inferring people would reply giving advice and therefore need context? I'm just confused how this would be genuinely helpful to everyone.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 07:54 PM
2

I would honestly leave out any weight related things unless someone wants to put that in there themselves. I get RPW acknowledge a thin, healthy body is more attractive but what if you've been maintaining that for years now? What's the point? Weightlifting like in the men's you can always improve but the idea shouldn't be 'you can always get skinnier'. The entire sub isn't centered completely on relationships, it has a lot of self improvement content to work with. There are a lot of single women…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 07:29 PM
13

Sounds like you're in your early twenties? You have plenty of time to get through this and eventually get back to the dating scene when you're ready. Do you have a support system, like a church, friends or family that don't blame you for what happened? (Ignore your mom by the way, if he was just unhappy with the status quo he could have communicated that or just left amicably). Throw yourself into working on you as a person, mentally and physically. Don't shut yourself in from grief but go seek …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 04:12 PM
15

It sounds like you're seriously romanizing relationships if you think they healed trauma or were unconditionally loving. That's the kind of stuff in books and tv, not really reality. You should be working on yourself and healing yourself separate from other people. Why on earth would you have to give up your parents? Relationships (romantic and platonic) evolve over time. Dynamics change. Things will be different when dealing with your parents as a fully realized adult but that doesn't mean it n…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 04:07 PM
9

It sounds like his love language is giving gifts. Definitely puts you in a tight spot if he doesn't understand the differences in what you like vs don't like enough to buy. Are there other things you enjoy that you could divert him to that have more utility? My husband loves giving gifts and he usually goes with giving me food I want. It doesn't clutter the house at least!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 03:46 PM
7

Oh I'd love the homemaker and skincare categories! Probably because I know I could be doing much better lol. I know most subs do an automod for these threads but on loseit they have a lady who volunteers to post it everyday and she has done so for years, so that could be an option too.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 03:02 PM
18

I think it would be really nice, I love accountability threads. I imagine there's a lot of small stuff people want to get off their chest but feel like it isn't worth it's own post.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 02:47 PM
6

Except OP doesn't mention any other signs of bad hygiene and says he's a typical health nut. So he may have had bad hygiene in the past or like he said other health issues. My husband's missing some back teeth because he grew up poor with no dental care and the root canals caused infection. It's ridiculous. Red flags started at terms to describe objective signs of future abuse/aggression/controlling behavior NOT 'is this a sign this person isn't good enough for me??' which everybody is going to …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/22 12:00 PM
35

A red or yellow flag? No lol. Something you might not like and end up finding out is a deal breaker? Yeah that's possible.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/22 09:40 PM
5

I was childfree in my early 20s, even looked into getting my tubes tied. I did change my mind after I met my now husband (and just as I got older). Honestly a lot of the hangups I had before are still there, like wondering if my children will enjoy life or be bogged down with clinical depression like me. There are a lot of global issues that nag at me when I think of my kids futures too. From what I've noticed personally a lot of RPW do tend to be family minded but I think that's just correlatio…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 07:15 PM
5

Mm a lavender cake sounds bomb. Pizza night also sounds like an amazing date! Enjoy :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 11:39 AM
6

This has started being asked here about once a week. You can always search the question up above and get a variety of responses.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 11:16 AM
34

If he likes food I'd cook him a homemade meal. Sounds simple but the saying the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is no joke lol. My husband still talks about the food I made for his birthdays/valentine's etc.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 11:15 AM
31

I also want to ask because you mentioned a child you have together. Is this the kind of relationship you'd want your little one to be in in the future? You're both responsible for showing an example of a good relationship to your little ones, and it's highly likely they will get into a relationship with a similar dynamic to what they saw their parents doing.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 04:47 PM
35

He is leaving the lights on to punish you for setting boundaries, he's making up BS reasons to justify it. If he has been sleeping fine for years without lights then he is lying. What of his justification for loud music? Loud sounds were used to torture the Waco camp for multiple days on end in an effort to break them... Punishment can theoretically work in a relationship. A BDSM based relationship, where all parties sit down and agree on rules, punishments, safe words and aftercare. Mutual resp…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 04:33 PM
11

If the only thing stopping him from hitting you is fear then that will cease to be a problem as soon as he views the rewards as greater than the fear, or if he gets enough control of you that he fully believes he will get away with it. That's not a good man.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 12:28 AM
73

That's textbook abuse behavior. Turning it back on you and calling you a 'manipulator' is a way to make you doubt if he's asking for something reasonable or not - he isn't. For you I recommend reading the book 'why does he do that?". You can find free PDFs of it online.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 08:22 PM
8

I'm 24 weeks pregnant right now and my sex drive have fluctuated massively. Overall I would say it's on the down, coupled with the fact you can be put on pelvic rest for bleeding/infections etc. When the baby comes you have to abstain for 6 weeks to heal...not only that but just getting used to parenthood will put a damper on things. This should ALL be expected by both parties. Him taking your offer as pity sex is putting you in an impossible situation. He should understand it's out of care and …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 11:48 PM
11

Sex is a physical manifestation of intimacy. It's how my husband shows me love and rejecting it would feel like rejecting his feelings for me. It's a LOT deeper than flowers.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 05:42 PM
10

Of course the advice can be applied to both sexes...but this is a WOMENS forum 🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 03:18 PM
6

You actually ignored almost everyone telling you your behavior was unacceptable and responded similarly to people whose viewpoint you disagreed with. You don't need advice, you need to be called out.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 11:24 AM
6

We can't answer that for you. Middle/high earner ranges a lot by area. It also depends on your general lifestyle. You'll have to talk to your spouse to come up with a good amount. My husband did give me a personal allowance while I wasn't working which I could spend on makeup, haircare etc or put into stocks. We decided on the amount together and it worked great.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/22 03:34 PM
9

I tend to avoid conversations of past relationships like the plague. The topic is never pleasant for either party. If he asks you direct questions about it I'd just sweetly say 'i'm with you now and I'm so happy! I'd prefer to talk about something more fun like x'. If he pushes you you would have to set a boundary since it clearly upsets him. As far as making him feel special you already got really good advice on that!
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 03:08 PM
1

I'd prefer not to be referenced in any academic paper. Best of luck on your project!
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 03:05 PM
5

It sounds like he promised to stay away from Z as one of your three things to work on. He failed. And he's lying to cover it up. A liar is a liar, if he doesn't want to be called one he shouldn't lie. At minimum he's having an emotional affair with this woman. You need to decide what your boundaries are in this relationship as far as how important loyalty and complete monogamy are to you, and then make a plan accordingly.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 03:02 PM
20

You're posting again? Work on yourself, for your own benefit and to improve your relationship value so when you find a comparable man you'll be able to keep him. There's a lot of info on that in the sidebar, posts much more well written than anything I can type out.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 01:07 AM
3

It's normal to ask these questions during the vetting period for both parties. Of course he wants sex, most healthy men and women do. This is an issue of your expectations.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 01:57 PM
9

I think the phrase traumatic is way overblown for this. I understand being shocked and hurt but traumatized is something on another level. Why are you assuming he lied about anything rather than just deciding you weren't compatible? Or that he simply found someone else? (You said it seemed like he'd have a lot of options). He didn't trick you into sleeping with him. It's something you have to learn from. If he hasn't outright promised exclusivity/labeled you boyfriend and girlfriend then it's th…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 01:51 PM
18

There are some older posts with really great answers to this already. A lot of us will answer that we are honest and upfront, but I also think many of us that are also have lower counts to begin with, and therefore not much to fear.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 06:52 PM
2

I mean, once I cut these sorts of people out of my life and off of social media I hardly hear about this crap. I surround myself with people of the opinion that shaming others is crappy in general.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/22 08:56 PM
6

Men aren't supposed to ask for advice here, you should try on some of the male redpill subs. Women are not best suited for giving men relationship advice.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 04:40 PM
8

I get your point, but I don't see how it's constructive for this subs community. What are we supposed to do about it?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 03:36 PM
4

I've gotten a lot of outfit inspiration from the ladies over at r/modestdress As for affordable clothing I've personally found that local thrift stores will have the absolute best deal (mine sells sweaters for $5). There is always SheIn but I don't like buying from them for health and ethical reasons, and their clothes don't tend to last. Thredup has a lot of quality clothes on sale but can still be pricey because of branding. For warmth look for clothes made of fleece or wool, cotton is good to…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 11:15 AM
14

You just listed a bunch of things you could be doing, but for some reason aren't. Get your shit together. Don't post in an advice forum and then argue with the advice.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/22 12:15 PM
34

Ruining a whole trip because you didn't get sex a second time is pretty far from an oopsie to me...that's pretty exhausting and yes borderline if not fully abusive. This is a you problem. You need to work on your fixation on sex. Having a higher libido is fine, hardly any couples match up perfectly. It's obviously a way deeper issue with you and you need to do some soul searching on why you can't take no for an answer.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/22 09:10 PM
4

This revelation is not offensive to the women of this sub. You're preaching to the choir - as the others have said one that is commonly talked about here by actual women.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 01:40 PM
22

I wouldn't go after any guys that first saw you in photos you edited, they're expecting something else. If you did meet a man in person I wouldn't ignore him, although you would run the risk of them not supporting your surgery. If you have time to wait until after your procedure it does sound like the least complicated option for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 05:24 PM
18

They could be reacting to having a female friend bring up sexual subjects in detail as well. That can come off as sexual deviance by itself.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 02:40 PM
55

Never heard of any man turning down oral lol...I definitely think that's a case of the ones you picked.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 02:34 PM
5

I feel like you're both being indecisive. The fact that you're blocking him on some platforms but still replying is sending mixed signals to him but he obviously still has a shot, so of course he's going to go for it. What do you expect would change in his behavior? What has changed in you where you're assuming previous actions on his part that were bad enough to break up are now tolerable to you? I think you need some time to yourself before you entertain serious relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 12:29 PM
1

It's what I'd consider my ideal self, but not every woman wants to be feminine and that's fine for them. They have other goals.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 10:59 AM
2

Mrs Midwest is popular here, as well as the books by Lauren Doyle (she has a podcast too) and fascinating womanhood. It's all traditional/conservative content rather than red pill per se, so you take what you want from it all.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 06:18 PM
3

It sounds like he's a type A workaholic. My husband is the same where I'm very type B and suffer with bad ADHD as well. I just let him focus, he knows when he needs a break. Going to the gym and podcasts may be the only break he needs, some people need or decompress in other ways so it looks like a murderous lifestyle to us. My husband has told me multiple times that working actually relaxes him...and I've seen this to be true. He gets things done and it pumps him up. I wouldn't intervene unless…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 02:55 PM
6

Yes, I'd count that under "handling things with grace" because even when you need to stand up for yourself there are ways that come off more mature and those that are ineffective and overly aggressive.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 11:33 AM
10

Honestly when I ponder this question I see it from a weird angle. I tend to think of well what isn't feminine, which in my world would be things like aggressive behavior, overly blunt, being "fake", gossiping, speaking ill of people, assuming the worst in them etc. Handling things with grace, being empathetic, being a good conversationalist and a good listener etc are things I associate with femininity.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 01:05 AM
1

Sweater dresses with fleece lined leggings, maxi skirts from cotton or wool. You can experiment with layers like having a long sleeve shirt under a dress! I get a lot of inspiration from r/modestdress
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 12:59 AM
4

If you don't feel comfortable doing so then don't worry about it. In my experience men don't take the feedback from women seriously, if anything they ask for it to argue against it (whether directly TO you or in their own heads). He has to know he's lying. If he wants to change he will do it, nothing else will convince him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 12:56 AM
1

Femalelevelupstrategy is a version of fds focused on self improvement. There is some good advice but the toxic mindset around men still lingers.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 12:50 AM
12

The six figures thing really sends me. Six figures isn't much in very high cost of living areas lol..
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 10:50 PM
8

Don't put yourself in this situation. You're a pretty lady. You can do better. Take some time and work on yourself, don't make rash decisions like this.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 03:16 PM
15

Yepp...I made this account just to participate here without getting banned from other subs. I read a comment once that blanket banning like this is supposed to be against reddit policy but it sure doesn't seem like it with how often it happens.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 11:32 PM
1

Try local thrift stores, they will have the best prices. There are online thrift stores like thredup, poshmark or depop. SheIn has very very affordable clothes but at the cost of quality.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 10:32 PM
4

I've always wanted this sub to have this sort of check in thread. I'd like to go on a walk whenever my husband asks (he wants me to walk more for the baby's health). I also want to start stretching daily.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 07:00 PM
2

I get up and refill his water for him or make him tea. At the end of the day I'll rub his feet or shoulders, or dry brush his back (he says it feels really good lol). If his wrist is sore from work I'll massage that too. Changing out his towel and wash cloth for fresh ones (I always pick the big fluffy ones he likes). We take a lot of showers together and will wash each other's backs and I've washed his hair a couple times to be cute.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/22 11:19 AM
7

It sounds like you're nagging him with a lot of work related stuff that isn't super important for you to know right now. Give him time to settle into his new job, starting at a new place is so so stressful. He will tell you everything in due time. It is more important than ever for you to be a soft spot for him to land right now so he can relax and decompress after work. My husband's started 3 jobs since we've been together and I know how stressful it is for a couple but you'll be fine.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 03:57 PM
1

It says the same thing for me on mobile but works on PC!
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 11:28 PM
1

Congrats to you as well! When is your little one due? :) Leading and setting an example was completely foreign to me since I usually attribute that to my husband (but he will be leading her in a completely different way). The comments did help a lot. It was surprising that a lot of women here seemed to model what their mothers lacked, I definitely don't want to take that approach lol. It is nice to know if I'm not perfect she'll likely find her own way through it. Definitely seems like I need to…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 11:15 AM
13

The age thing is far from the issue here. The issue is the infidelity and only you can decide if you're okay with that.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 11:11 AM
12

Are you assuming he's cheating just because you both sleep in separate beds? That's a stretch. Separate beds can be a practical solution to a lot of issues. I will move over to the spare room if my husband is keeping me up somehow (sneezing from allergies/tossing and turning/snoring). There are some couples that just don't sleep well next to each other. You make up for it by being affectionate and intimate in other ways. Now if he's showing signs of cheating that is a whole other issue.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 11:06 AM
3

There are a lot of qualities I could delve into but I think the one that influenced me the most is his work ethic. He's always working (rarely takes a break). He worked full time while doing his bachelor's and masters at the same time, and on top of that studied independently to get certifications to boost his career. I'm very type B and prefer to just relax but watching him really made me step my game up. I started exercising, eating better, cleaning/organizing the house nicer and enrolled in c…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 01:58 PM
5

It's supposed to be broad. That's entirely the point and what I've been trying to explain. There are many women who are active in this sub including myself who do not meet your definition of a RPW but still apply the principles and ideas listed in the sub wiki. We take and offer advice and engage in meaningful discussions in here. Narrowing the criteria only disengages people it doesn't actually benefit discussion very much. Applying the principles is using it as a toolbox. Instead of worrying a…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 03:28 PM
5

There are help posts in THIS subreddit for women that dress/act masculine or who have slept around a lot in the past. You might not call them a RPW but they can use RP principles to better their situation. What benefit do we achieve by nailing down a definition of RPW/HVM etc? I want to know what you think of using RP theory as a tool as I have seen many regular and endorsed contributors claim is the purpose of the sub, and you haven't explained that to me. You said having definitions can help t…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 02:35 PM
7

You just listed all of your subjective preferences like I said. The point of this sub is to give RP advice to women in a way any single one could apply these and achieve their goals. This sub isn't getting bogged down with arguments about definitions, even when people disagree on how terms are used good advice is still given. So a woman wants advice and refers to her man as HVM but you disagree. How does that suddenly give you the inability to provide advice? Would forcing conformity in these de…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 02:11 PM
13

There is no definitive "acting like a RPW". That's subjective and completely up to preferences. That much is obvious by the different approaches even the endorsed contributors here take. We use red pill ideologies as a toolbox here, one anyone can apply into their way of life. I don't think any one of us gets to decide who is and isn't a RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 01:48 PM
44

Being a RPW just means you acknowledge the differences between men and women. It has no bearing on religious or political views. Many of the women in here are liberals and/or feminists. A good portion also work.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 10:50 AM
13

Men and women fundamentally have different ideas on what a HVM is. His definition aligns with how a lot of men imagine HVM. I'd just focus instead on showing him how he's perfect for you, how he provides the life you want.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 11:09 PM
6

Give yourself some grace. Beating yourself up about past mistakes is doing you no favors now, just keep it in mind neutrally as an example of what you don't want to fall back into and embrace the joy of self improvement. Self improvement is really what I think of when I think of RPW. The community here is always driven to become better, more well rounded versions of themselves. I second the advice to journal, ask your therapist if they have any ideas for topics you could start out with (or prema…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 06:58 PM
1

I understand that lol. I'd read it!
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 03:53 PM
28

My husband and I had a meet cute when he stopped me on the sidewalk (I was walking back from class). He matched my schedule so we'd pass each other and flirt for a few days before getting my number and setting up a date. We both knew by the first date we were a good match. We'd texted constantly in that time and we had great flirting chemistry at the restaurant. I remember when the nice waitress asked how to split the bill and he without hesitation and quite firmly said "1 check" and held out hi…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 11:46 AM
32

I think that if the first thing you jump to is 'he's obviously lying' I don't think you're ready to date anyone. You should work on that first.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 11:41 AM
1

Lol that sounds like a man to me, they cut a lot of crap out and process at rapid speeds 😂 and then make a game plan.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 11:27 PM
1

Congrats on the little one on the way!! I hadn't thought about the period talk yet! I'm pretty excited to teach her a lot about health, wellness and biology being a science nerd. Also the education they give in school is just...awful lol.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 09:13 PM
8

Spend your time with your friends or working on yourself to keep distracted from the heart break. Curate new hobbies, journal, cook/bake and be open with people you care about.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 08:20 PM
4

I'm in the process of cutting out a lot of fast fashion as well! I hadn't realized the sentiment was this popular, unfortunately everyone I know in person just buys clothes whenever. I actually looked up a video on how to make a wool skirt the other day because I'm wanting one but got overwhelmed with the amount of information. I think it'd be really rewarding to learn though but I can see how the hobby would be off-putting to some (especially with the prices of sewing machines).
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 05:56 PM
3

Sewing seems to be the most popular answer overall, which surprises me. My mom doesn't know how to sew either other than to reattach a button. I think I'll look up classes or some introductory videos :) Hosting is something my mom drilled into me! However my husband and I are pretty introverted so I haven't even had a chance to showcase it. I'm hoping once my little one arrived it will be a natural progression for me to take over Thanksgiving.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 05:20 PM
8

Lol I understand that! I didn't figure out how to paint my nails until my mid 20s and I see a lot of women on Reddit who haven't heard of the wonder product called fast dry top coats. She'll at least have an abundant stash of polish to go through if she so chooses. That's something my mom never really mentioned either. I'm hoping my husband and I can really model a loving relationship to her because I felt like I struggled growing up with my parents showcasing an unhealthy marriage. It definitel…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 01:51 PM
4

I definitely want to be a good moral compass to my little ones, it's probably the most important thing for me. I was a little stinker and never participated when my parents wanted to teach me anything, so I'll be giving a lot of grace there lol. I'm hoping I can be a bit more encouraging than my parents were because it would be nice to pass down that fundamental knowledge.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 01:28 PM
9

My mother taught me similarly to yours! Although she went about it a bit aggressively haha. I love the wisdom from your grandmother, she's absolutely right no marriage is better than an awful one. It sounds like you had a beautiful relationship with them :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 01:25 PM
2

Yeah the part he didn't realize it was a break and not full break up was confusing to me (so I can't imagine how you felt!) But a lot of stuff gets lots in translation during the moment. I think the fact he realized he could step up was the key point. A therapist would honestly be a really good guide in how to expand out and kick off some self discovery :) relationships are best when you grow alongside each other (at least to me).
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 01:24 PM
1

Honestly I do feel like men tend to see things in more extremes than a woman, so it makes sense to me the 'break' was vaguer to him but breaking up caused his cogs to start turning. You have a really good grasp on the situation. It's really impressive to me, I usually need weeks before I'm even ready to start analyzing things without bias.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 12:17 PM
3

That's kind to give him some time to actually reflect since he didn't the first time. I hope he does think on how his anxiety seems to bleed into everything. I finally got help for my anxiety last year and it has honestly made me a much better person.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 11:45 PM
3

Use the money to start putting into retirement. One of the biggest issues my husband and I face now is that just his retirement contributions alone would fall a bit short for both of us when we inevitably retire. You don't even know if this future husband would have debt yet.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 11:31 PM
7

I'm glad you updated! I've been worried since I read your original post but I didn't have any good advice and I come off really crass online anyway. This is a really really good example for other ladies going into a break up who stumble into this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 07:53 PM
27

Even if we assume the bill issue was an honest mistake it sounds like you don't feel any chemistry with him anymore. If you got back together you'd inevitably end up breaking it off again once you found someone that inspired that spark in you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 12:01 PM
1

You have issues. The fact that those are the standards you're assuming speaks more about you than it does anyone else. My husband is an amazing man. He is constantly working on becoming a better person than he currently is. He jumps to help people when they need it, even at his own inconvenience. He works hard even when others get away with slacking off at work. He is constantly educating himself in his field to do better and curates intellectual hobbies outside of work as well. He's going to be…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 11:01 AM
6

Your standards for partners are ridiculously low. I have a hard time believing any good man that has put in a lot of work into his personal character would respect a woman with such horrible standards as "he doesn't abuse me or cheat on me!".
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/22 11:13 PM
3

Scraping the bottom of the barrel aren't you...
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/22 10:52 PM
37

That sounds like college attire to me! I still wear mostly sundresses and florals at 28 as well. I wouldn't stress about it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/22 01:19 AM
56

I wouldn't expect much out of teenage guys. They aren't men, they're children and they haven't learned respect yet. It also sounds like they're treating you as one of the guys if you're the only girl in the group, that's a recipe for disaster. Why even hang out with boys that treat women so horribly? You can have standards with friends as well as partners.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/22 04:55 PM
9

Is their own site off of reddit also porn now, or just the subreddit?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/22 03:18 PM
11

I don't think you can recover from faking pleasure. You'd have to come clean about that to work on your sex life in a healthy way and at this point with all the pressure you've put on him I highly doubt he'd be receptive. That's the most emasculating thing you've done.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/22 01:36 PM
2

Marriage makes a lot of things easier legally speaking. You can rig up most things to work around that if you really want to go without marriage but it seems like more effort to me. I like that both my husband and my own assets would default to the other in case the worst happens. His job also offers a years salary to me as his spouse if he passes so I can get back on my feet. He could also access my medical records and vice versa if we needed to. Its already proven convenient in a lot of ways.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 12:14 PM
3

Spirits as in liquor? A nice scotch would be good, bourbon if he's into smoky flavor.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 11:51 PM
5

A stew or curry! Goulash and Japanese curry are my favorites.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 11:49 PM
2

I told myself I'd text when I wanted to talk/had something to tell him and I'd accept however much he responded back. The back and forth mind games were too much for me.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 06:08 PM
1

The egg is viable for 24hrs only but because sperm can live inside you waiting for the egg to ovulate it extends the 'fertile window'. You can have sex 3 days before ovulation, not have sex the day of and still get pregnant. You should not be encouraging anyone to have unprotected sex until their partner is on board with pregnancy.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 05:29 PM
2

If he never spoke about wanting more than 2 before marriage then I'd definitely drop it. It isn't fair to decide you want more after marriage and resent him when he doesn't want the same.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 05:27 PM
5

He is probably thinking practically. You may be able to afford another kid, but it may require cutting in other aspects of lifestyle or in the quality of care you provide your current children. Did you discuss how many kids you'd have before marriage? You can't force him to have kids, it sounds like the nagging has already made him resentful. Personally I'd drop it and find other ways to be nurturing.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 03:07 PM
1

Check out the book "why does he do that?" Very eye opening to why some men act controlling.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 03:57 PM
2

Biology. Decided we wanted to send the kids through private school so I'm going to get another BA in nursing.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 03:53 PM
2

I fold them in front of the TV or YouTube! If you can do a load a day that makes it easier. If you really can't stand folding check out marie kondos method.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 12:30 AM
18

Unless you're wearing really short, bodycon and risque dresses or skirts I don't see the problem. A man shouldn't feel intimidated by how a woman dresses, that's just silly. It sounds like he's projecting insecurities into you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 01:20 PM
5

We hard already set an approximate timeline so that helped me a lot, I just love weddings and looking at stuff which he interpreted as me trying to rush the timeline. He said it was making him feel pressured so I just apologized and told him it wasn't my intent, and that I was perfectly happy with the original timeline.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 02:44 AM
8

I went through the same thing with my husband! We had a plan to get engaged and married but he wasn't quite ready to propose yet, but still ready to occasionally throw out ideas lol. I made a Pinterest board and just Google eyed all the pretty themes. R/weddingplanning was also fun to look through. I wouldn't bring it up to him though, I know I talked about it too much a couple times and it freaked my husband out so I backed off.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 07:50 PM
45

It sounds like you're giving the wife experience to a boyfriend which can be unbalanced. Traditionally the man would be pulling in all the money for the household to balance out all the work a woman puts in at home. Are there things he could do to make it feel more equal? I'd ask him straight up about it, or Judy emphasize how much you liked it like "I loved how you gave me a backrub after a long day the other week. It really made me feel better".
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 04:49 PM
3

Ooh that'd be wonderful! My family had tons of fruit trees growing up and it's definitely some of my favorite memories :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 01:02 PM
8

Not super crafty but I love gardening for the build a home out of a house mindset. It's amazing to be able to plant food used to feed the family! And you could get creative with a garden outside. I think cross stitch is adorable and looks relatively beginner friendly. I see a lot of short easy tutorials for it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 12:33 PM
6

My husband has Versace homme and it smells soo good. It used to rub off onto me and then I'd get compliments on it lol. Dylan blue is also very nice. I work in a Sephora and those two have been stolen 3 times now so I take it they're popular.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/22 12:38 PM
15

If a man is swayed so easily from a woman he was supposedly committed to, he will just treat you the same. Respectful men also don't find women who try to steal them as classy. They think it's trashy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 10:47 AM
5

Assuming...you bought said junk food to chew and spit out yes, it's objectively a waste of money. Literally what mental gymnastics are you doing to justify spending money on things meant to fuel your body to just instead chew into a pulp and let rot in the landfill??
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 09:12 PM
3

Ahh thanks for fixing my math! :) It's been a while since I cut and I went the easy route and let mfp calculate it for me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 08:32 PM
3

Sure, people do waste stuff on arguably dumber things...doesn't make it not waste. It's a bad financial decision lol.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 08:29 PM
3

That causes a lot of food waste.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 08:18 PM
5

When I was cutting it took me about a week to stop feeling like I was starving, then it eased up but didn't entirely go away (it makes sense though, if you aren't getting enough calories to maintain you'll get some hungry symptoms). Drinking lots of water and exercising helped keep me from feeling hungry.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 07:21 PM
9

OMAD works for a lot of people because it's impossible for them to eat enough calories in a single meal to go over tdee, but it does depend on how calorie dense the food is! The app MyFitnessPal really helped me figure out which foods are worth cutting down significantly on (like 2 tbs of peanut butter is over 100 calories...when you need 1400 a day to maintain it adds up quickly).
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 05:16 PM
34

Weight loss is physics, if you ingest more calories than you burn then you put on weight and vice versa. If you look up your tdee based on your height, weight and activity level then subtract about 300cals from that you'll lose a pound a week. It takes time for your stomach to adjust, for you to learn which food items are more bang for your buck, proper portion sizes etc but losing weight is a lifestyle change not a temporary diet, because you'll have to keep eating less to maintain it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 05:13 PM
15

Honestly my friends in real life aren't traditional at all, but they aren't judgmental and don't even put a thought into our differences. It's hard to pick out a social circle of traditional women unless you hang around in conservative spaces and/or church (maybe cooking/sewing classes?) but it should be easier to find kind open minded people. It's sad that your current group would ditch you over something as petty as your lifestyle choices.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 02:14 PM
1

Teens are just so funny and cute lol.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 07:31 PM
1

You didn't even know what it was LOL.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 07:25 PM
1

🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 07:22 PM
1

Men who are active in the red pill community.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 07:17 PM
3

There's a lot of irony in you blasting other men for feminine preferences and then insisting YOU belong in a WOMENs sub lol.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 07:13 PM
9

Most of the time if the woman is working too she isn't expected to do ALL of the homemaking because that in and of itself is a full time job. It's a recipe for burnout.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 06:57 PM
2

I am really sorry you went through all that. Neither one of your husband's treated you fairly. You made mistakes but we all do, it doesn't make you a failure. If therapy is an option for you in any way I would look into it, you need validation for the good choices you made and for how hard you're working for your kids. Medication is also an option- it's sometimes controversial around here to turn to meds instead of idk pulling yourself up by the bootstraps?? But it's a physiological chemical imb…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 11:41 AM
19

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a SAHM. Right now though you don't have a partner, so realistically the SAHM plan won't happen for a couple years+. Your mom probably wants you to be independent before that. I understand you're appreciative but that doesn't erase the emotional and financial burden of another mouth to feed for several more years. Above anything else parents worry about their kids being set up well for the future. She doesn't see a husband in the picture right now so she's…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/22 08:09 PM
13

Are you working right now or in school for something? I can emphasize with a parents frustration if their adult child is living at home, not putting money away/working towards a career and talking about being a SAHM with no future husband currently in sight.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/22 07:38 PM
28

My husband chases after me no matter what I'm wearing, although he is fond of VS pajamas lol. Typically I get super flirty to set the mood and he gets the message. Reading/watching sexy romance stuff usually gets me out of a mental rut.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 02:36 PM
2

I counted my calories and participated in r/loseit accountability threads to keep me on track. Basically you find a tdee calculator on Google, plug in your stats and then cut from there. Minimum is 1200 calories in order to get all your nutrients. Any exercise is good! I never lifted weights because bad knees lol. You can do at home workouts too, like yoga or exercise bands. This is more for overall health than weight loss imo. You'll have to keep the weight off so it's about changing your lifes…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 11:26 AM
4

Aw I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way! Definitely stick with the therapy, hopefully they teach you coping and comfort skills. I know it's not the same but I suffer from clinical depression pretty bad and honestly getting on medication for it was life saving and relationship saving for me.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 06:37 PM
20

Reading fascinating womanhood would be a good start. I also felt like I "married up" in a way. My husband's ideal in almost every way and I took a realistic look at myself and decided to work on the things I felt could be better. Where exactly do you feel like you aren't measuring up? It sounds like he's type A and you're type B and that's okay! It probably helps you both balance out and that makes you a good pair. My husband likes that I help slow him down so he can relax sometimes.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 04:55 PM
9

This is a woman's sub. We don't need advice on how to BE a hvm haha.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 03:09 PM
14

So I went full on in this a little while ago. I tossed all my ugly loung wear and replaced it with cute blouses, skirts, dresses and skinny jeans. I still have comfy clothing and more dressy things but all my options are feminine and cute now. For my hair I use olaplex oil, kenra silkening gloss and a nice leave in conditioner. I also bought some hair scissors on Amazon so I can go through every now and again and trim the split ends (I do this while watching tv). It takes a couple minutes to bru…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 03:08 PM
5

I think it's the time investment it takes to grow and take care of long hair. No matter your reasons you end up getting really attached! I'm really glad you're recovering well :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:18 AM
13

I've almost always had hip length hair, it's kind of "my thing" so I refuse to cut it. My husband also loves it. I definitely can empathize with how you're feeling. Focus on taking care of yourself as you recover from being sick. Caring for your mind along with your hair is also showing devotion to your bf because you can't pour from an empty cup. It sounds like you know how to care for your hair really well and it will grow back before you know it 💕
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 12:57 AM
20

The most important thing is getting out of your exes place. You won't be able to move on until you do, and I'd personally feel a lot of resentment seeing him enjoying the roommate situation after I uprooted my life for him. Check out job postings in multiple areas, not just your city or your parents. Find one that looks good and that you can afford. Ideally move after you have a new job so you aren't going to crash financially. Once you move get out there and meet people, there are lots of ways …
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/22 01:30 PM
1

Probably because he knows he's a creep.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 12:39 PM
0

Lol sure.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 12:38 PM
4

Creepy.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 12:33 PM
2

You can set boundaries, but it won't stop some people from crossing them. Your family sounds like they'd cross them anyway and at that point the best thing to do is disengage from the people who are knowingly causing you pain.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 11:23 AM
12

If you believe the women of RP are laughably wrong about what men want why don't you enlighten us on what they actually want? Telling someone "not that" isn't quite as helpful when you don't provide alternatives.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 07:35 PM
2

Thank you Bunk, that actually put a big smile on my face :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 06:12 PM
22

I would check out this pages vetting resources to help you weed out the low value men. Also men don't typically care about your economic status or your education (some men want you to at least be college educated but don't particularly care on what). Can you cook? Clean? Are you good at decorating? Are you fun to be around/know how to act playful and make him light up? Men want a woman who provides a soft place to land at the end of the day, and having respect for him is most important. You don'…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 06:05 PM
5

I certainly didn't want to waste his time if our values and goals didn't align, especially since he was paying for the dates. I can't imagine a woman looking for a good husband would be offput by that...that's very odd to me. Then again my mom used to always tell me to "date" for fun. I'd tell her that's basically just using men for their money but she kept insisting..
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 04:59 PM
6

I think the cutest one he planned was a surprise. Detective Pikachu was in theaters and he knows I love pokemon so he somehow got a small movie poster for it and presented to me saying "I wanted to invite you to go see Pikachu!". He's taken me to a Cafe with a guitar before so he could play it for me while I drank my coffee. Strawberry picking and peach picking, lots of beach walks. He likes to look up pretty parks and take me to them because he knows I love nature. We also love museums because …
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 04:46 PM
18

We talked about our goals on the second or third date and he said his dream was to be married and be a father. He never wavered in that so I didn't set a timeline or have to nudge him, we openly talked about our future. We got married 2 years after we met. He loves planning dates so he'd surprise me a lot, but if I wanted to go somewhere/do something I just had to ask and he'd plan it out eventually.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 11:28 AM
2

I agree, but I mentioned that because OP herself mentioned being unhappy in jobs because she felt forced to be assertive.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/22 11:03 PM
9

Caregiver roles tend to be very feminine, however I think you'll still run the issue of being assertive because caring for people means standing up for them, and that can require a high level of assertiveness. You'd skip the competition though. Lots of healthcare jobs require a certification that takes less than a year. Plebotomist, medical assistant and CNA are a few. They don't get paid enough for the amount of work they do but you do get to care for people in rewarding ways. House cleaners al…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/22 05:07 PM
5

I love self care. Lately I've been trying to look at it differently. Before I had a very corporate idea of self care ie eating something good, taking a nice bubble bath etc. These days I try to do things that impact my health/life more. Like you said exercise is one, I hate exercising. All exercising. But it's important to stay healthy (I want to be here for a long time!). Eating well is another good one, I try to balance my macros even if it means eating food I don't like much (looking at you b…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 11:20 PM
6

It's one of the reasons I decided to get educated in Healthcare. So long as I keep my licenses active I should always be able to find work if I need it. Apparently my husband's job would also pay me a years worth of his salary should he pass away, it's part of the benefits.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 11:08 PM
5

He orders food for me every time we go to one of those build your own line places (subway, chipotle, moes etc) because he knows how anxious it makes me. In general he's fast with making decisions for me that I'd rather not make, I just look at him and he knows what to do!
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/22 12:11 AM
2

Like others I tossed a lot of my ugly clothes. I like dresses and skirts too but I prefer shorts/jeans and a nice blouse at home (as opposed to a tshirt). Tank tops are fine if I put a cute cardigan or kimono over it. For my hair it's long so I just brush it out and put on a headband, clip it up in a cute bun or do a braid. They're easy, cute and don't get in my way while cleaning. Makeup can be easy, just throw a BB cream or tinted spf on and some mascara. Vaseline even makes tinted lip balms t…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/22 12:12 PM
1

That's a lot of responsibility to throw on anyone without asking.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/22 12:04 AM
7

Respect is more important to a man than love or attention. You disrespected your boyfriend by 1) complaining about him to a drunk friend 2) putting yourself in the position to be kissed by a drunk friend (the kind of people you hang out with reflects on you and therefore him) and 3) by cheating on purpose to get him jealous. If you want to make yourself a better girlfriend start by priorizing your man higher. If you don't want to lose something you care for it. The relationship did not end becau…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 01:54 PM
8

Go post this on the male red pill. We don't like locker room talk.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/22 10:23 AM
24

You're 23. You and this guy aren't even bf/gf. Keep dating around, don't wait for him to come back. If he gets home and is ready to commit and you haven't found anyone yet then you can entertain the idea.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/22 12:11 AM
5

It's plenty realistic. Fields like IT, tech etc are still pulling in good salaries you can stay at home with so long as you don't live above your means. My husband makes enough for us to be middle class, and has already exceeded the total household income of what I grew up on. Granted I still plan to work once the kids get into school. I'd like to provide the best education for my children and set them up with good inheritance. Of course I wouldn't pick a man solely based on income. If you find …
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/22 11:19 PM
4

I don't let my husband lead me morally (although he wouldn't want to anyway). We lean into different political parties, have completely different religious views etc. We've gotten into plenty of debates about these issues but it's helped us open our minds on both sides to new perspectives. He rules finances completely. I'm awful at finances and he is excellent. He even coded his own budget sheet lol...if he says no that's it, I follow. We've also discussed parenting. I think in most cases I will…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/22 10:56 PM
50

If he doesn't have a strong drive or ambition that really isn't going to change unless he has a serious come to Jesus moment. He's comfortable. Now if you break up sure, he might have that moment and get it together but currently it sounds like you're in love with a potential version of your bf- not him. You either take him as he is or move on and don't waste time.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/22 04:45 PM
4

I wouldn't assume he can tell anything by your face. Men are pretty dense with that stuff, they need it spelled out. If I just make faces at my husband's "jokes" (what he thinks is a good joke and I think was not to taste) he just assumes it had a bad set up and tries again lol.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 07:20 PM
4

If you told him it hurts your feelings and he keeps doing it anyway I would try what Lauren Doyle suggests and say "ouch" everytime he says it and leave it at that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 07:16 PM
13

Well who knows? I would tell him when he makes those comments it hurts your feelings and makes his giving seem less sincere. See how he rectifies it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 06:36 PM
35

Yoga, baking, cooking, growing potted herbs from seeds. You could try scrapbooking if you find the materials for cheap.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 11:58 AM
3

Nail down a skincare routine. I like r/skincareaddiction and r/asianbeauty. Keep moving somehow, whether that's going to the gym or working out at home. If you don't have anything at all there are free pilates, yoga and bodyweight exercises on youtube.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 11:57 AM
6

Wow in your post history you talk about purposefully finishing early so your wife doesn't get to enjoy it much... You're pathetic. Shouldn't be teaching children.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 01:11 AM
3

Y'all are all making me howl with this one 😂
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 11:53 PM
8

Yuuuck lol this guy is delusional.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 10:51 PM
42

Download myfitnesspal, add all food even snacks and drinks. It sucks, you'll be hungry but it's the only way to do it. r/loseit helped me a lot. You can eat in a surplus on ANY diet, even a health freaks. Diets work because it gets you in a calorie deficient. You want to set yourself up with how you'll eat to maintain your weight once it comes off. It's not a diet it's a lifestyle change.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 12:48 AM
31

I don't really count it as people pleasing with my husband. I do things like get him water, rub his feet etc to show affection (acts of service is my love language anyway) but he gives back to balance the relationship. Acting playful/having child like wonder really melts him.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 08:45 PM
2

You said yourself you're 69 multiple times lol, we're just rounding here.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 07:20 PM
26

Was it breakingmom? I think something in their rules said you couldn't be a member of redpill 🙄 I heard this stuff is supposed to be against reddit rules but it's still rampant. I made this account so I could post here but going between two is annoying for sure. Edit: so they took it out of the rules but mention the autoban in recent threads lol...the shade.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 12:49 PM
4

My husband's a natural red pill man too in a way, and I've always been a RPW (in the concepts of how men and women are different and what men want vs what women want). I found this forum and I told him about it. Sometimes I read him comments to see what he thinks about it and we have nice discussions. I'm not overly submissive either. I help make decisions and have always been open about my opinions/telling him when he's wrong. I have a fiery side too, especially if I'm defending something I car…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 12:41 PM
3

I put a couple points in my comment about men, but no the advice is not geared towards them at all. The second paragraph is sepecically because you said you get along better with men than women. Of course you do, they're orbiting you. Other than having a masculine job and not wearing makeup you didn't say how you're "manly" so I used my personal experience.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 10:37 PM
15

Perhaps try some recipes out so you can mark the ones you'd think he'd really like and you can feed him like a king when he gets home lol.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 09:15 PM
4

Honestly I do feel like a lot of it is how you dress, makeup perfume etc. I worked manual labor at a park for a year and got treated like a barbie doll. The men all fell over me which was...an experience. Even though I worked outside shoveling doing lawn care etc I still did my makeup. Even a tinted moisturizer and mascara would probably make a big difference. The rest is how you carry yourself and speak. Not being loud, cursing or jumping in with boy banter is when I see the switch to people tr…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 09:14 PM
7

Healthy friends is a great tip. I've seen so many people fall from grace because of who they associate with. It matters a lot more than people think.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 07:16 PM
30

Oof she sounded toxic, glad you took out the trash with that one. It sounds like you're already someone worth competing with lol! But I'm also always on a level up journey because I think it's the fun in life. Here are some things I did/am currently doing that makes me proud: Focusing on a healthy diet. My husband's a fit freak so at first I grumbled about changing my diet but I've embraced it. I feel so much better eating healthier. I miss junk food all the time of course but I want to be here …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 07:14 PM
16

My husband and I moved in together very quickly after becoming exclusive, but I had another apartment (for school) that I could go back to if we broke up. We definitely moved in too early. It worked out because we worked for it, but we faced a lot of issues from it honestly. I would not move in with someone that fast with no backup plan.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 05:35 PM
26

He isn't leading the relationship. It sounds like he's aware of the situation and how you feel but has chosen to do nothing about it and instead of saying that directly to you he is being passive aggressive about it. He's a 30 year old man. You aren't going to change him, he would have to want to do that and he obviously doesn't.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 01:22 AM
12

Why do you not feel at least average? Skin, facial features, weight? Being in good shape, taking care to clear your skin and wearing things to suit you makes most women decent at the very least. You also have to keep expectations realistic. If you really think you're a 4 what makes you think a male 4 wouldn't commit?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 10:20 PM
3

Don't see why not read ahead of time. Laura Doyle's books are good, and so far I've been enjoying fascinating womanhood.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 10:16 PM
16

If you genuinely know what you want from a relationship, what fulfills you and also what are deal-breaker then I believe that is when you are ready. My husband and I met earlyish twenties, moved in right away and got married about 2 years later in the court house. One of the workers asked how long we'd been together and scrunched up his face when we answered lol. We'd learned from past LTRs that we were a good match though and could work through any issues we had. If you figure that out even ear…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 02:29 PM
4

I agree, not a good feeling. Thanks for your insight I really appreciate your time.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 01:48 PM
1

What do you think of him initiating the trip? Do you think he'd do that if he were just wanting to look? I am curious. It sounds like they're close to Miami and he could go there on a boys trip. Going out of country for it seems extra to me anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 12:51 PM
8

Personally I wouldn't let the deciding factor be whether or not he actually hooks up. He could be going there with the intent to an every woman turns him down. What difference does that make? He's already well past what I'd consider a loyal family man...but that's your decision to make. Seems like you're setting yourself up for disappointment to me.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 11:17 AM
7

If he just wanted to look at "thick Brazilian women" he could do that on his phone. Why would he go on an international trip just for some eyecandy... I think instead of trying to figure out the IF you should figure out if you're okay with a man who cheats or not. And when he does what will you do?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 10:47 AM
–

Most of the recipes online are good if you type in "authentic hungarian goulash". The key is to add at least 4 tablespoons of good quality paprika. If the recipe calls for less just double it. That's the Hungarian way lol! Amazon has a few brands of sweet Hungarian paprika, I like to mix that with some smoked because my hubs loves smoke flavor. It's traditionally served with these homemade dumpling-like..things called nokedli but I use egg noodles. He's been begging me to make those though, so t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 07:51 PM
1

I enjoy the recipes I get to put my home grown herbs into. The fresh ones usually taste better and it makes me feel much more accomplished and domestic. Other than that I'd say hungarian Goulash. My husband is hungarian so it's his favorite. I'm slavic so I think I'll try their version next.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 06:23 PM
3

I'm speaking to the part of your comment where you asked if I believed you and the other contributor were incels. My original comment clarified my opinions on that. So what point were you trying to make with that question?
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 03:30 PM
4

I said in the comment "some men make it through and help the others". Did you miss that? That's where I would classify the endorsed men here.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 01:06 PM
3

I classify that under the umbrella on what's your opinion on x lol. Semantics.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 08:49 PM
4

The only time I'm not with my husband is when he is at work. Considering it's a government contracted job that tracks everything done on the system I'd assume he'd have faced employment issues if he were doing it then lol. You asked us if our men watched porn..the answer was no. You can't just brush off other people's experiences because they don't match your own.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 06:09 PM
19

I liked this from one of Laura Doyle's book, it isn't geared towards healing from heartbreak but I think it could help. Write down 20 things you enjoy doing (no chores, just pure enjoyment) and make sure to do at least two of them a day.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 06:04 PM
2

I've had similar experiences and the people who called me "good two shoes" or a prude were honestly...trashy. Not a pleasant word by any means but it's the only one that gets my point across. I saw a great video on youtube once- I think it was by the feminine fancy about how to not overshare. I'm keeping that my mantra at my new job lol my last one turned so toxic. You can make friends from work sure, but the people you meet at work calling you a prude aren't actually your friends.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 05:00 PM
5

My husband chose to stop watching it when we began dating exclusively. I didn't ask him to stop but I may have mentioned I didn't like it but he told me he stopped as he found it disrespectful to me. Your husband sounds like he could be addicted to it. There are so many potential issues that can stem from porn addiction. If you have a healthy sex life he's obviously still very attracted to you. The objectification that comes from watching porn would be my issue. I think it's really his problem t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 09:58 AM
4

You aren't weird at all for wanting to wait. Who knows why this guy strung you along like this, maybe you just made him look good. You might not have been what he wants, but he proved himself to be trash anyway and that's not the kind of man you want or deserve. You sound like a sweet person who is doing their best. Your standards for a relationship are perfectly fine, don't force yourself to do anything just because. When you are ready to date again after taking the time you need to heal maybe …
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 07:25 PM
3

There are sometimes I think a discussion benefits from having a males perspective (a man that is also looking for/is in an LTR) but I usually come for the women's advice as well. I feel like it would be nice to have like a weekly megathread where women could post questions and get only women's answers (all men's comments being removed in that thread) or the inverse. Something like that would feel like a good middle ground to me.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 05:41 PM
7

I said what red pilled MEN want is different than what the red pilled women want. Red pill theory is based on the idea that men and women are inherently different. We know men and women think differently. Men use that to get what they want (sex) and we use it to get commitment from the best man we can (best usually meaning kind, supportive, a good leader, hard worker etc).
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 05:09 PM
4

If you go to "about" in our subreddit there will be a link to the wiki which has the answers to your questions. Red pill means you recognize gender differences, what red pill men want is not aligned with what women want. They're extremely different.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 05:01 PM
6

Read the wiki.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 04:58 PM
2

You're still upset about this lol.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 04:48 PM
10

Yes they're awful lol. I don't ever look in the men's subreddits for that reason. I'd say we're more willing to work on stuff than the people at relationship advice seem to but the regulars here are not doormats by any means. I appreciate you coming in open minded :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 04:30 PM
61

As it states in our wiki it is not advised to take a hard-core redpill man as your husband. They're usually angry incels. Some of the men 'make it through' that phase as they say and use the red pill theory to better themselves and give advice to the younger ones, but overall we recomend looking for a leader sort of man who will treat you well, listen to your input and do what's best for the whole family. For the life of me i don't know why we've had what, 3? Posts this week insinuating our husb…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 03:38 PM
3

People more mature and pleasant to talk to than you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 12:18 AM
3

I said it sounded that way, at least to me and that person it did. I recognized that wasn't your intent. Do you put words into people's mouths often?
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 11:11 PM
6

No one called you the bad guy lol and you said in your OP you just enjoyed having your own income, not that you literally need it. If you don't want people to view your post history then delete it. It's a public forum not your diary.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 10:27 PM
6

You could have said nothing? I think they have a point. Someone commented it sounds like, from your context anyway, that your husband would feel happy providing for you, and you changed the perspective to "catering to his ego" which does sound negatively charged, even if you didn't mean it to.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 10:10 PM
17

I've found that long hair, dresses and skirts gives people the impression you're old fashioned and that would explain the apologizing for cursing in my opinion. You can still look feminine in a chic way, form fit jeans button down shirt ect and you'd probably get attention but not people assuming you were old fashioned as it's a more modern look.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 07:11 PM
3

There are no "levels", there are different people who use the advice in different ways. I remember your previous post and there is absolutely no good advice to give a women willing to bleed in pain because she won't leave a husband who enjoys doing it to her. We aren't abuse counselors and never will be.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 07:08 PM
7

Major defensive mode lol.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 06:59 PM
1

She is lovely! I haven't finished the book yet (don't remember which one I grabbed, I'm cycling through a few right now) but I love her writing style. It's very comforting :) I need to listen to her podcast sometime.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 11:30 AM
3

I'm curious how you define traditionalism then. Based off of what you wrote here and your post history you don't sound traditional, you sound extremely modern which is fine. Having long hair, wearing dresses, being religious and maintaining a house don't inherently make you traditional. My mom did all of that and she's a hard ass career woman. I'm subservient to my husband in that he makes the big decisions for us yes, but I chose to marry him because he's an excellent planner and will do far be…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 11:23 AM
2

I'm a spoiled little millenial lol.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 10:58 AM
9

Laura Doyle's books.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 12:56 AM
6

Yep. I wonder if they actually think the lost generation had time to teach each one of their 7+ boomer kids to cook/clean...the generation before us had to learn a lot on their own and without access to the internet. The entitlement is scary.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:42 PM
19

My parents are from the baby boomer generation and they have their problems but not teaching me was absolutely my fault. I never showed interest. Parents cannot force their children to do anything. You don't need your parents to learn basic cleaning and cooking anymore, you could literally type it into youtube and find out how to chop garlic for God's sake. Take some responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:17 PM
3

This is above reddits pay grade. Your husband was out of line to, he should have NEVER forced you to dress like that in front of his bother. Never.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 10:19 PM
2

Men don't get intimidated by high achieving women. They don't pick aggressive career types because it's unlikely they'd sacrifice a career they went 100ks in debt for to raise her children herself at home. You shouldn't go to law school if you're not feeling it, you will crash and burn. Search job opportunities in fields that interest you. Go on indeed and type stuff in then go to Google and look up their salary in your area. Once you find a job you can at least modestly enjoy and that pays you …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 10:12 PM
8

As a couple people said you should check out the wiki. It specifically states most redpill guys would be unlikely to be a good ltr candidate and to look for the mix of "alpha" and "beta". People who lurk or stumble over the subreddit post all the time, the regulars here mostly have stable relationships with good men from the sound of it. No one is advocating to fight for crappy guys.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 11:32 AM
7

I vetted out men who did that. My husband hardly uses social media at all, much less uses it to check women out. I'm sure he notices nice looking ladies passing by but he doesn't gawk or stare, out of respect for me and the other women.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 11:27 AM
1

Of course not, but that doesn't mean they can't be confused. He could be thanking her for cooking and she could be looking for a reaction like "wow honey that was amazing!!!". Being thankful for something and just appreciating it was done can go hand in hand but they're different emotions.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 11:23 AM
6

Like others said, food might just not be impressive to him. Some people eat to live rather than enjoy it. If you've been cooking since you could do it and he knows that he might find that level to be expected then. My husband has been cooking far longer than me and also trains his pallete so I'm never surprised at how good his food comes out.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/22 07:56 PM
5

You might want to check out the wiki on RMV (relationship market value) and SMV (sexual market value). Your question is still very broad and will depend on what kind of man you mean to attract. But generally speaking most men want a traditionally feminine woman, soft spoken and dressed pretty but not provocative. Being able to cook, clean, have patience, maintain respect and be a soft place to land for him are the things they look for in a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 06:42 PM
4

What do you mean by stand out? Trying to stand out can backfire and make you look as if you're seeking attention which can be a red flag to some people. Generally I try to dress lady like, a-line sundresses, skirts with tights and feminine blouses. Knowing what looks good on your shape does well too (i'm hourglass leaning pear so I know A-line style is killer on me). Being hygienic, keeping up with basic grooming (brushed hair, white teeth, trimmed nails etc), light makeup and overall the "natur…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 02:15 PM
2

My husband and I work together on it, because he can't take PTO whenever. A lot of jobs in the US these days have pooled sick time and paid time off together into one group, so time he uses for appointments is the same as vacation time. He usually picks the days and the location and I help out by researching the best places to stay, resturants and sights to see in the area (we both like doing the same things usually museums and parks). I then make reservations/buy tickets for everything if neede…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 01:45 PM
3

Reading back through everything in the thread gave me some interesting thoughts so I'm here to word vomit. The men who replied here and the men who replied to the linked threads both essentially said "doesn't happen" when it comes to showing vulnerability to women, but the women all have experiences with their men being vulnerable (myself included, my one example was what I used to do better and now I am his rock). The interesting part to me is the reasons the guys are responding this way. Here …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 11:47 AM
2

Lol yeah some things they just don't care about. My husband knows a lot of surface level info about his friends but he won't ever talk about his worries, stresses or past issues with them. Sometimes he brings stuff up as a light hearted joke (more so to me than his friends) but I know that's how he's processing things.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 10:50 AM
5

Your view is similar to what my husband tells me. His school life was rough and he learned not to open up to male friends because they will use the weakness against you. It took me a while to accept that because as a woman I feel like that openess is what makes friends close, but obviously his perspective is much different.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/22 02:41 PM
15

Scales are pretty subjective. If you want help on objective beauty r/vindicta has a lot of tips, they're just obsessive so don't go there if you're prone to self esteem issues.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/22 12:51 PM
82

I've noticed with my husband they show their vulnerability in a much different way than women. My husband will often show it through generalized anger and there was an exact moment the light bulb went off for me. He was angry, ranting about his horrible step father who had just passed. I didn't know the man but knew how terrible he was through stories, but still I eventually reacted to my husband's anger and blew up. He broke down, because the real issue was about the up and down relationship wi…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 11:54 PM
5

I think it'd be awkward, and a few extra fancy drinks isn't worth turning a guy you like off.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 09:54 PM
14

I personally wouldn't. It could come off as using him for a meal I think, but honestly this would be one of the times men could chime in to say how it comes off and it would be really helpful. Now with my husband I let him decide if I get refills on any expensive drinks. The way I see it is he is in charge of our finances so it is his call how much to spend on a date night. I don't currently work though so if you were in a committed relationship and splitting the bill you could purchase them you…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 09:04 PM
6

I've been in a similar boat years ago. I ended up telling the guy we wouldn't be in contact anymore because he was essentially stringing me along. You need to break it off even if it hurts. He won't provide what you want but if you cut him out there will be nothing standing in your way of finding someone who will.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 12:01 PM
4

Well I will say in my opinion once the honeymoon phase is over it's over, you don't get it back. It should lead into a more fulfilling time of growth and closeness for the two of you though, except he's not being a good leader right now. He could have told you to rest and later as he saw you doing better/work in bed and he was overwhelmed did a flip flop. When I has covid my symptoms came and went anyway. He isn't being kind though and you're absolutely right you are not there to be a punching b…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 11:57 AM
2

I've gotten cute sets from Target and Victoria's secret. Shein also has some very cute sets as long as you don't mind purchasing fast fashion (and know your measurements).
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 11:50 AM
17

Well, he could also just not say anything. As thumper says "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all". I would try to bring it up in the moment when he says something a bit mean, just say "that hurts" or something to that effect. I think if you brought it up as a topic he might be put on the defensive. It could just be something he needs to get used to as well, seeing you less dolled up. It'll become normal to him eventually I'm sure.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 11:05 PM
9

I understood your overall point, I don't think the mother/son example is super relevant to it. You'll inherently treat a child different than a possible sexual partner. Adding it in is more confusing than helpful, which is why I said it was weird.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 10:51 PM
17

I'm going to be honest, it's a bit weird imagining a future son's sex life through that lens. I would prefer them to have less experience because less chance of stds etc, that's coming from a 'mothers' perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 10:39 PM
36

Well there is honesty and then there is...crude. Saying he is traumatized by just you in glasses is dramatic and seems like a way to put you down. Is the rest of the dynamic good? Also what is it you want to achieve, do you want to cut out makeup everyday but feel like you can't now, or is your husband's put down just hurting you? If you want to change your style maybe try lighter makeup everyday. Like just concelar, mascara and a lip gloss/tinted balm. Find comfortable clothes that are also cut…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 10:33 PM
9

I never cared honestly. My husband admits his is much higher than mine, mostly from HS but by the time we met he was mature.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 07:25 PM
6

It sounds like you were bottling a lot of things up and it came to a head. If you created a safe word would you be able to use it? It's odd he doesn't want you to recieve treatment. You can have this kind of dynamic in the bedroom even after the problem is solved (if treatment alleviates it successfully). I wouldn't bring up the argument for now, it would probably feel like reopening a wound. I think focusing on your self care would be good for you right now. Like Lauren Doyle says in her book, …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 08:31 PM
2

I enjoy much of what the endorsed men here contribute. It's the one-offs that come in that I find is controversial. Like you said they can offer good advice a lot of the times despite not following the rules. However I originally replied because of this: I have seen men give good advice that gets reported simply on the basis that he's a man They could be reporting it because this sub states it's against the rules, assuming we're talking about men who aren't endorsed here. This is where I feel to…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 06:45 PM
2

Most of the time yes, because rules add as much objectivity as possible. If some people are allowed to break the rules because the moderation team subjectively likes the content well, what is the point of the rule? Picking and choosing who gets to break them and when is unfair to the community in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 06:12 PM
1

Whether the advice is good or not seems irrelevant if they come in and comment when they have 1) never posted in the men's redpill and 2) show either no signs or ltr or their post history clearly shows they're single. They're breaking the rules then...good advice or not, unless I misunderstood and comments from ALL males are allowed?
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 05:10 PM
7

I think you could benefit from reading "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft to give you insight on how your exes rules were NOT principles but means to control you. I have been in abusive situations and this book rang very true. You should make your own principles. Sunshine gave amazing advice, dress like the wife of the man you want. If you want a modest, religious man you'll have to dress more modest but if you just want a strong, masculine leader who RESPECTS you there may be more leeway …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 12:31 PM
4

The point of this sub is for women to use red pill theory to better their lives. The insight a man can get from this is relatively minimum but their continued contribution is large.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 03:53 PM
6

I'm going on 28 and show some signs of aging but I'm skinnier now and still dress really well. I get just as much attention and absolutely no man has ever guessed my age accurately. Just take care of yourself, always work towards improving and don't worry about any dreadful wall. In another note, the chances of birth defects slowly increases after 30, and at 35 it starts getting significant for women AND men, but we have early detection tests. The chances of a woman falling pregnant do NOT signi…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 02:27 PM
17

I agree. They almost always speak from their own perspective and never a woman's, much less an OPs looking for advice. I can't help but wonder what kind of man sits on reddit in a female advice sub of all places...not the sort I'd take advice from at the very least.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 02:09 PM
2

That sounds perfect to me. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/22 01:38 PM
2

If we were to move to trp would the men's and women's content be separated?
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/22 01:33 PM
5

I've noticed a ton of strife in relationships since work from home became more normal. The non-wfh partner usually expects the wfh partner to do housework while on the clock and it leads to a lot of fighting. In my opinion work is work, I don't expect my husband to ignore his job to do housework just because his boss won't catch him. He should be focused on work when he's clocked in. Obviously in this case I think the trouble is with your commute cutting out time in your day while your BF gets t…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/22 01:24 PM
1

Same story with me! My husband earns enough to take us into the middle class without me working, but we've decided I'll continue my education and earnings after the kids are weaned so we can send them to a nice school. You never know how your goals will evolve when you meet your partner.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/22 09:50 PM
7

I honestly wouldn't worry about this until you actually meet your future husband because all of these decisions ride on him in a way. You'll have to find him and make a plan together about how to achieve a good household income. It would be incredible hard to forge a life plan so far in advance and then try to find a particular man who fits into the space in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/22 05:17 PM
3

They are two different accounts. Reddit makes you one if you log in with Google on another device.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 01:19 PM
9

How have you been together 1.5yrs then? It sounds like you're both trying to make a fake life on there, you'd both do better with a break but he sounds pretty enthralled in it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 05:53 PM
18

Wait you posted 10 months ago about trying to get a man's attention, was this not your BF? It sounds like the issue is taking social media way too seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 05:43 PM
8

If he's that invested in instagram and assuming he's posting pictures of himself/his life it is odd he doesn't include you. Do you take pictures together for him to post? I count it as a bit of a yellow flag honestly...like he's keeping his options open by looming single or is just ashamed for some reason. My husband's best friend has a GF that crops him out of photos before posting lol. Everyone thinks it's suspicious honestly.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 05:39 PM
2

Therapy, this is above our pay grade here. And cut out the drugs get on an antidepressant that works for you instead of worrying about how it affects your drug habit.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 06:41 PM
1

Only very experienced redpill men in LTRs are supposed to post here, you should head over to the men's redpill.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 02:04 PM
12

Yes, getting to a healthy BMI absolutely makes a difference, probably more than anything else. At my highest weight I was a 24.9 BMI (almost overweight) and had stopped getting much attention from men at all, now that I'm bouncing from 21-22 I get a lot more. Granted I met my husband when I was heavier (my weight at least settled into an hourglass shape) but even he grew much more attracted to me when I lost it. r/loseit was a godsend to me when I lost weight. The daily accountability thread is …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 01:57 PM
2

I've posted there and commented without a flair several times. There is nothing in their rules that require that. They've clarified many times you don't have to be married to participate, so I'm not sure the difference.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 10:58 AM
4

r/redpillwives has really slowed down the last year, and besides that it also has women from every level of relationship experience. They aren't necessarily more experienced, it's just a smaller more intimate group.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 12:40 AM
27

The idea of "taking the red pill" is more about acknowledging the psychological differences in men vs women, rather than being a 1920s housewife. This does lead to a more traditional mindset when it comes to gender roles, but you can apply the ideas of gender differences no matter your world views. There are many feminists and liberals here, although many of the posters are conservative or religious. I'd like to know where you saw advice on the sub that encouraged women to act as door mats? That…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 11:21 PM
3

That means you're dating, you're just not in a monogamous boyfriend/girlfriend relationship yet. You date to decide whether or not someone would be a good boyfriend. Going on dates = dating, hanging out = friendship/casual.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 07:39 PM
2

Well what kind of lady does a man like Jordan Peterson like? Not saying that that ISN'T you, but part of the mindset around here is about doing what you can to attract the man you want. How you dress, carry yourself, your interests etc. There's some cool posts in the sidebar, I found them helpful!
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 06:40 PM
1

I didn't say you were promiscuous. I think you don't know what you want, or what image you're putting out in order to attract what you say you want (a traditional man). You're wasting your time on guys who mean nothing instead of focusing on yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 06:25 PM
2

You're lower than 70% dear.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 06:03 PM
2

You're getting into FWB, dating men you aren't actually interested in, flirting with men you know aren't single... You sure you're traditional? You're also still in highschool...? So are you hanging out with high schoolers? I'd consider those boys.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 05:55 PM
3

I think it will be great for both of you! My husband really encouraged me to eat better and work out, and we have really bonded over it :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 08:30 PM
5

I agree it does seem like a symptom of the other issues. Working out, keeping a good diet and limiting drinking/drugs boost men's testosterone and increases libido. The fact that his new job is tiring and/or stressful also negatively impacts it. Most of these things are in his control, so it's tough to give advice. I'd be supportive of his fatigue, try to take some weight off him if you can (emotional or practical), maybe offer some shoulder rubs. I'd try to cook healthier meals r/eatcheapandhea…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 08:04 PM
20

This is great advice and a very realistic take. If I'm just being nitpicky I would say even women with tattoos are not going to struggle, provided they are well done and not on every inch of your body.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 11:27 AM
12

A type of BDSM I'm assuming.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/22 10:51 PM
3

Please don't ever stay with a man that hits you. You don't deserve that, no one does. We make mistakes, we take ownership and we overcome them and heal. Someone who hurts you does not want you to heal, they want you to stay wounded. That's not love.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/22 02:53 PM
9

Dresses! Mostly A-line. They're comfortable and simple to put together, but instantly give you a put together and classy look. If I'm having a bum day I'll put on jean shorts and a fitted t-shirt. I have two really comfy sweater cardigans I live in. I almost always wear makeup (some days I really can't be asked though). My skin is good but I have natural genetic dark circles/hallows so makeup really wakes my face up. Mascara opens up my eyes.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/22 12:22 PM
3

You sound restless, which makes sense because you're young and in college which is when most people really start to mature as adults. What sort of future do you want, and is your boyfriend someone who can reasonably provide that? There is a term in redpill called hypergamy, does that apply?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/22 02:56 PM
62

He's already decided to break it off, don't spend the summer with him. Soulmates don't dump us. Spend the summer continuing to grow and mature and you will find someone worth your time! And yes take it from me, it will make it harder to end things when the time comes and you'll have had a more miserable time than it you were just single.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/22 12:29 PM
4

Not a mother yet, so no tips. Just wanted to say congratulations on the new addition to the family ❤ The comments are super helpful :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/22 12:27 PM
5

The mods sure do get a workout around here.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 05:45 PM
7

Oh I agree with it not being about the money, that's how I feel as well. My man's a bit different and sees paying directly as taking care of me and doesn't mind the money talk, your man seems a bit more neutral on the idea so it's a bit trickier. I'd just use wording like "you took me on such a wonderful date today" or "you spoiled me". Tell him what a great time you had, that it was a nice night out and you feel happy/relaxed afterwards. Sorry if those don't quite click, maybe someone whose dea…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 01:45 PM
6

Not if you're just thanking him for paying when he does. I think if you outright asked him to pay everytime it could come off crass. I'd just let him know how much you love it and see if he takes it from there.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 01:20 PM
8

I would say if you prefer the man pay then don't offer to split. If he brings it up himself that is different, but I wouldn't bring it up myself. For now I would give him heartfelt praise when he pays, like you said tell him how it makes you feel taken care of and see if he responds. If you're comfortable maybe ask in a flirty way what you could give him in return for spoiling you. My husband usually requests a foot rub lol.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 01:10 PM
2

Aw you're welcome :) good luck, I'm sure you both will work through it!
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 01:09 AM
14

It's a tough situation to be in for sure, and I'm sorry you're going through it. I agree with you 50/50 doesn't really work out if you don't make the same. It means you're spending much more of your income relative to him. Is he completely opposed to doing ratios? So if he spends 20% of his paycheck on dates you'd do the same (but 20% for him might be $400 and you $200 because of the wage difference). It's not as glamorous but could you try setting up more romantic dinner dates in? Cook a nice m…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 01:05 AM
21

Is the issue that you're embarrassed handling the bill when you go out to eat, because it looks bad to you? Or is it the entire 50/50 concept that hurts you? I don't really like handling the check when we go out either (my husband thinks the same so always pays the bill) but I did contribute in other ways. When I worked I gave him a set percent of my check to contribute to our shared finances and the percent was based off of our relative incomes. Is there any way you'd feel comfortable to contri…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 12:51 AM
7

Exactly this...I always hate when these single guys proudly advocating against marriage come in here and try to advise the women. It's always defending the crappier guys too...
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 11:24 PM
8

You say he's a great cook, so is he in charge of cooking all the meals? If you can incorporate more healthy, low calorie foods into the picture it would help him. Fasting is good if it works for you, but many people like myself can't fast and I believe it isn't advised for diabetics. Keto makes you lose weight but it isn't sustainable long term. He loses the weight then he needs to maintain it, so starting a good diet is key here. Chicken and rice is a common "healthy and fit" meal. I season the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 01:52 PM
4

An asshole.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 01:59 PM
17

I think the fear you feel has already given you your answer. If you're already thinking "can I do better?" Before you've committed it's not a good sign for long term satisfaction. I had the same worries as you when I was in my early 20s but I decided not to settle because I knew it'd mean long term unhappiness. I found my husband in my mid 20s when I least expected it, and I definitely didn't need to compromise on anything I found important.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 03:26 PM
50

Honestly I'd say if you're feeling doubts in anyway I wouldn't go for it. You don't need perfect you need perfect for YOU and it sounds like you have some doubts worming their way through your brain. You're young, and if you're as good a catch as you describe you shouldn't have any trouble finding someone who hits the important marks.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 02:56 PM
83

Do not stay with someone who is showing severe anger issues or guilt tripping you for their shortcomings. That man is NOT an adequate father figure. You stay and you have kids with him even if he treats them well and you poorly that is still setting their standard for relationships for life.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 08:41 PM
1

It's always nice to look back on old conversations. I like to show them to my husband when I'm getting sentimental and it usually gets him warm and fuzzy too lol :) Thank you! I've definitely been around the block with retail experience. I wanted a nice relaxing job before I throw myself at healthcares mercy 😅 I miss my ipsy! I've gotten a lot of good stuff from them. I usually put a light amount of bronzer in the dips of my cheeks and under my chin and it just enhances things without looking cr…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 02:45 PM
2

P.S your kitty is absolutely precious! He reminds me of my boy 🥰 cats are such goobers.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 01:37 PM
1

That's so dreamy! I'm still trying to curate a pretty and tidy home, it's hard but its really rewarding. My plants are sadly all outside 😂 I can talk about anything honestly, it's the adhd that makes me chatter away but people have always told me it made the time go by faster. I'm trying to get back into makeup after the pandemic since I just got a gig at a sephora. The style changed so much these past few years, I'm glad natural is in now but it's a learning curve. Awe ❤ that's very sweet. I al…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 01:26 PM
2

Aw that is so sweet it put a big smile on my face :) The flowers sound so lovely, I'm sure he loves seeing them and thinking of you. It sounds like your relationship is really strong. It's honestly just an adjustment having more time to yourself but it gets easier. Hey if you're ever bored and want to chit chat I'm in the same boat!
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 01:02 PM
2

Yeah he's always busy from work and school, if he gets time off from those he finds another project to work on or he gets stressed lol! Living away is really tough...I actually moved in with you husband while we were dating because he got his full time job and we recognized we wouldn't see each other much otherwise (crazy and not advisable but we were already head over heels). I think if you just give him patience and understanding it would mean a lot to him! Even though it's hard when you miss …
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 12:47 PM
3

Hm your husband sounds very similar to mine. My husband works full time, is working on a masters and whatever free time he has between that is working on certifications in his field (he has about 7, each takes at least 6 months-year). He genuinely decompressed through work. I've seen him so tense and stressed but relax as soon as he completes a project. I suppose the difference is that he told me upfront from the second or third date he's always working, and I accepted it. It was hard sometimes,…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 11:42 PM
1

That's is definitely what I need. I've been diagnosed since elementary school but no one has fully explained it to me. I've just sewn together my own information bit by bit, a book will be such a good resource. Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 12:57 AM
2

Wow I have never heard of this book, I'm going to check it out! You and your partner sound lovely.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 11:02 PM
1

This! There are downsides to my adhd that annoy my husband sometimes but he wouldn't trade me for the world. OP deserves the same.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 10:56 PM
2

I know this is focused on lifting, and the benefits it provides to body composition are wonderful. I just want to throw it out there that cardio is great too. If you need to burn fat cardio is your best bet (yes you can lift and adding muscle will help your body burn more calories overtime but it takes much longer to achieve results). It isn't as hard on your joints, and really helps your stamina (running after kids takes a lot I'm sure lol). I mostly do cardio to keep my weight in check and to …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:45 PM
1

Having sex multiple times a day in a LTR past the honeymoon phase is pretty rare. It sounds like you're intimate an average number of times a week for the point you're at in your relationship. I think you're beating yourself up too much. My husband's libido is higher than mine, so I try to never deny him (unless I'm feeling really awful for some reason). I know I almost always end up enjoying it anyway. If I need a break I do what the other ladies suggested and offer up oral, it always make him …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:34 PM
5

Stop wasting your time on him. Best case scenario he has genuine commitment issues but why would you spend time trying to fix a man and convince him to date you when you could have had one with his shit together from the beginning? Worst case scenario is he's stringing you along like the other said because you've demonstrated you'll always be there, even if he doesn't commit.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/22 04:31 PM
3

I don't believe men and women can be friends for the most part, at least in any sort of way a traditional man would feel comfortable with. I asked my male friend years ago (he is the only exception to my rule since he's always been open, honest and respectful. We're both married now and don't speak often) about how I felt as though men only befriended women they found attractive and he said that was true for the most part. Even if they know you're taken they will flirt, touch, and ogle if you al…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 08:48 PM
2

Hey I have tattoos, most of my left leg is covered. My husband dislikes tattoos, but I impressed him enough in other aspects he still married me! Now granted we had to compromise on adding any more, which I'm fine with. I'd much rather have my husband than a tattoo.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 08:55 PM
1

The first two ladies who responded understood and gave me really good advice when I clarified, then a bunch of other people replied telling me to do what I already said I did. Multiple times. It is VERY clear to my husband I want to look good for HIM. That was never an issue, because I tell him that every time I dress up.
/r/RedPillWives03/05/22 10:17 AM
1

I did bring it up again! He just had other things on his mind at the time :) although I think the theory he likes more casual/pretty clothes at home still makes a lot of sense for him. I think i worded the original post really bad because it seems most people got the idea that it was a drastic change but honestly it really wasn't! I didn't buy anything new, I just started wearing my nicer things more often. Thank you for the encouragement and advice :)
/r/RedPillWives02/05/22 03:30 PM
1

I've been using spf for years! I don't wear heavy makeup, like I said I wear natural makeup and he has told me how much he loves how I do it :) I wear dresses often but usually only when I go out. I wore a dress casually at home with some accessories a couple of times and this is when he made the comments. I never wear heels. The dress shoes I'm wearing are just nude pointy flats. I usually wear sandles but wanted to mix it up. As I said in the other comment I switched to an Aline dress instead …
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 10:58 PM
1

I almost always wear makeup, I just started putting it on some days when I'm not going out. He compliments me a lot on it and I started doing the styles he likes :) I do think it's an issue of being too dressy/fancy for a casual day. I didn't think slapping on some dress shoes and accessories would change the vibe so much but now it's making more sense to me.
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 09:00 PM
2

Yeah I think he just likes a bit more casual look. I actually swapped out of my sleeker sweater dress for an aline summer dress with a sweater over it to dress it down and when I asked if this was cuter he happily agreed 👍
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 06:08 PM
1

Thank you to both of you, talking to you really helped me get some clarity 😊
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 05:09 PM
1

That's true. I've always incorporated sundresses in the outfit rotation but adding the accessories and everything on a casual day is really new. I didn't think about how dressing more casual would help him relax but I definitely think that's the issue now that I think about it. I definitely wasn't going to do max fancy everyday but it sounds like I'll rebalance it some :) He dresses up a bit more on random days too when he's feeling himself so I didn't think he would find it odd, but he relies o…
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 05:08 PM
3

Oh don't worry you're not making me feel bad! I honestly posted for that reason. I'm always good at feeling out his reactions to things but this one left me a bit stumped. I did wonder that. He is a competitive person and may prefer when I look more homey, especially if we're not going anyway fancy. He doesn't always dress super sharp so perhaps I'm dressing up and making him feel like the bum this time even when he looks very nice, but he doesn't really want to put the time in to get his best o…
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 04:49 PM
7

Yeah that's what I tell him but he points out I've always dressed feminine even before this. Even if I was just in t-shirts and shorts I tried to look cute. Now I just want to look more, well for lack of a better way to put it expensive? I really like the chic look (he knows this). He actually started dressing a bit better before I did, and he always dressed well anyway. Lots of well fitted button downs, classy dress shoes etc. Sometimes I'd feel like a bum next to him lol..
/r/RedPillWives29/04/22 04:17 PM
6

I have had two male friends ever in my adult life, one I still talk to but rarely. They always respected my boundaries and the one asked me out and after I said no told me he'd still like to be friends and he showed that be true (he is happily engaged now to a lovely lady). I remember stating to them once that I felt like men tended to befriend women they found attractive whether it would lead to something sexual/romantic or not and they agreed. I feel like finding men who recognize this but sti…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 02:07 PM
3

Definitely check out r/skincareaddiction or skincare YouTube to set you up with a basic routine. James Welsh or hyram will give you the basics. I have not heard about putting oil on your face even for dry skin unless you are taking your makeup off and rinsing it off immediately, but I don't keep up with it too well. I recomend a double cleanse (if you wear makeup), moisturizer and sunscreen during the day routine to start then after you get products that work for you for then you can add actives…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 01:03 PM
2

Aw congrats! 🥂
/r/RedPillWives02/09/21 03:18 PM
2

You ask this question about every few days. The answers don't change. If they don't resonate with you then they just don't.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/21 12:05 AM
12

He literally took your thumb while you slept, unlocked your phone and dug through your conversations to get dirt on you. The only dirt he got is that you had relations with someone else while you and him were NOT exclusive and he's being hypocritical because he was still in a relationship at the time you guys got together. This man doesn't seem like he treats his partners with respect and lacks communication...
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/21 06:13 PM
7

I second that! r/loseit is a lovely community for weightloss tips.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 01:30 AM
1

My husband and I met when I was walking back from class to my car. He noticed me and stopped to compliment me but we didn't exchange anything then, however he figured I was getting out from class and timed his schedule for us to pass each other again. After passing and greeting each other again twice we exchanged numbers, went on a date and that was it. I think we both connected to each other right away based off of how we presented ourselves, style and manner of speak etc.
/r/RedPillWives30/07/21 01:26 AM
3

He's told you he won't commit, move on and find a man that will.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/21 06:55 PM
5

Feeling homicidal/suicidal is something that should be brought up to a mental health professional as soon as you can.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 12:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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