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LadySylwia Archive

View 2 posts and 71 comments by LadySylwia on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
64

FIELD REPORTLadySylwia/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 06:17 PM
11

SELF IMPROVEMENTLadySylwia/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 07:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

OK, remembered that was a rule. I'm done here then.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 05:14 AM
2

You probably always get what you want not only because you are pretty but because you work hard. Including socially. You sound like you work hard to present yourself in a certain way that can unlock any man's heart. And you may not realize that this is actually not healthy social behavior. You were taught to believe you had to earn love either deliberately through abuse or unconsciously through neglect. So you put your best foot forward to get love from a man, and the chase is fun because you th…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 04:24 PM
5

Yes. You can tell because We are already only 2 months in a relationship, and I am already feeling smothered Narcissistic people crave external validation but if a validator gets too close it activates a "smothering" fear. This is because narcissists are stuck at an early stage of development and have poor social boundaries. Because of inability to establish boundaries, relationships are only desirable from far away (the chase). Once they "catch" someone, the person with poor boundaries is overw…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 04:09 PM
3

I can't speak to the universal experience but when I converted to Eastern Orthodox Christianity from a background that involved Evangelicalism, the priest was very emphatic that I should not go out proselytizing friends and family to EO. "We don't do that here" is what he said. There are plenty of non-negotiable teachings in EO (it is orthodox, after all) but there's a different character to it than Catholicism because it is focused more on the mystical experience of God rather than the more boo…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/19 03:47 PM
1

wanted a mom to boss him around and take charge in the relationship so that he didn't have to have responsibilities as a man Yes. I also had the same experience with the last guy. Mine had a little of column B, too, in that he enjoyed fighting and was unhappy with submissive, "boring" women. Everything he supposedly wanted in a woman was geared towards the evasion of responsibility and the thrill of conflict.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/19 05:18 AM
82

When you shave your legs, you are not just imitating a young, healthy, high-estrogen girl's pale, fine, and less-visible leg hair Thick, visible leg hair is a secondary sex characteristic, an indicator that a woman has gone through puberty and is probably fertile. So your argument makes little sense from an evolutionary point of view. By the way, it's also been scientifically demonstrated that armpit hair and pubic hair carries scent ID, and that a human's individual body odor plays a role in se…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 09:41 PM
4

I meant in dating standards. We can't police each other's life choices but we could each heighten our vetting standards in order to create pushback. As far as we function as the gatekeepers of sex, we are the ones setting the tone for what is considered acceptable male sexual behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 06:32 PM
2

Steep uphill battle coming in your 30s and up if you haven't properly rebounded yet. Just be sure you're in shape to lessen the chances of running into another porn addict or future one. Not quite sure what you mean by rebounded. I simply responded by raising my standards. Though I'm almost 29 and my looks (not that I had a lot to start with) are already fading so it's impossible anyone who meets my standards will want me. I still can't help dreaming sometimes about a potential future with a man…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 03:28 PM
4

My question is whether I am justified in being upset by this, or is this just something that all men do Your feelings simply are what they are. Feelings do not need to be justified. Only actions. Is his use of GoneWild a sign that he is unsatisfied with me, or that I can never satisfy him? It's a sign that he is unsatisfied, but that has little to do with you. Satisfaction, i.e. inner peace, lies in the realm of the individual will. Loyalty to a partner is a choice. Just because we are wired tow…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 09:19 PM
11

Can't hide the soft erection, ambivalence to sexual activity, passivity, lack of motivation and general malaise.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 08:59 PM
9

They would be less rare if more women put their foot down. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 05:37 PM
10

I don't mind. Wasted my 20s on 3 porn addicts, have nothing to show for it but tears.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 05:36 PM
13

Don't waste your time on men who use porn.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 03:28 PM
4

Have any of you lovely red pill ladies struggled with tendencies that indicate mental illness Yes, same. BPD. can you recommend methods to self heal and grow mentally as a person? Cultivate a cosmic perspective, i.e. reduce yourself to almost nothing. I don't mean self-sabotage but like kill your ego. Your inflated ego is why you made bad decisions, because it made you think you were more exceptional/smarter/knew better than everyone else. So, every time something or someone makes you feel ignor…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 02:43 PM
2

It sort of sounds like he views you as a child and may be shifting into a parental role because you were so immature when he met you. unsure of how/if I can salvage this relationship. Maybe consider what a good boss and a good employee look like. The boss asks his employee to carry out a task a certain way. The employee sees a better way and asks the boss if he has considered it. The boss either gives a reasoned justification for his way ("I see your point, and the reason I asked for it this way…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 06:43 PM
1

you should take the wheel: set up a date, pick him up and treat him (eg: pay for it) end the night respectfully with no fooling around (because that could be a tad confusing) to show that you are interested in him Wha? She already showed that she was interested in him by having oral sex. She is obviously interested, but not interested enough. The onus is on him to decide what to do with that information - either he looks for effortless sex elsewhere or seeks to find out why OP hesitated. Either …
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 06:10 PM
8

For me it was mostly realizing feminine =/= useless. Learning to cook delicious foods (people really love it when I bake), keeping bathrooms stocked and clean, having a bunch of first aid stuff on hand, and taking care of sick friends (Would you like some tea? Soup? Peeled orange? Can I run to Walgreens and get you anything?). Basically embracing and seeking to excel at supportive roles. Also, counter-intuitively, I started feeling more feminine when I mixed more masculine styles into my wardrob…
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/19 07:57 PM
8

Detrashing/outdoor cleanup. It's an easy way to feel accomplished and an excuse to wander around in places you wouldn't otherwise go.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/19 06:08 PM
1

But perhaps this opinion of mine is drawn from the fact that I’m 29 now and looking for a husband. 29 in three months. Same boat. -_- They also tend to forget that women are still sexual beings and a part of learning about yourself is being sexually curious. Feelings that are baseline healthy and normal (such as the desire to be liked by the opposite sex) become harmful and destructive in a culture of exploitation. Sexual curiosity in the current milieu leads girls into makeup culture, pornograp…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/19 04:24 PM
2

Though I’ve never known a radfem to call other women whores. Radical feminists certainly feel this way about "sex positive" liberal feminists, who they view as class traitors. I think you're right that there's probably some envy lurking under the surface, but there is also an ideological basis for this kind of vitriol.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/19 12:44 AM
68

Simple. Realize that radical feminism is a reactionary movement to male abuses and that because all reactionary ideologies are unbalanced (they have to be, in order to counter an opposite imbalance), they simply are not useful as road maps to a happy life. Work on finding the middle road.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/19 05:25 PM
8

This is really familiar. This sounds like my first boyfriend (we were together for 5 years). Here's what's wrong: I was super excited to show him a new hold I learned in class and he responded with "Yeah, I really don't care." Then he back pedaled and said that it was because it was a violent activity There is nothing wrong with learning and using force for self-defense. Your man is repressing part of himself in an attempt to be "ethical" because his basic sense of morality is skewed. He may hav…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 10:39 PM
8

If you are under no illusions about how opportunistic and superficial men are, then how can you love and admire one? The people accusing you of being a troll probably have enough decent men in their lives so as not to be able to relate to your question. But I ask myself the same question a lot. I think in a healthy relationship there's multiple layers and the biological interplay is just the foundation. Ideally two people, being rational agents, will develop a higher kind of relationship at the …
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/19 04:54 PM
15

That's rough. However, a struggle with BDD is all the more reason not to make any permanent physical changes. You can experiment with makeup, if you want, but IMO it would be better if you just accepted your natural face. The whole point of the red pill attitude is to accept reality even if we find it unpleasant.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/19 08:50 PM
29

Delicate is only one kind of beauty. I don't think you should change the natural color of your eyebrows or hair, and I don't think it's wise to cut up your face in search of a good man (what "good man" would want you to do this?). If you feel your face looks masculine, especially more masculine than it used to, that should tip you off to getting your hormone levels checked, because something might not be right.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/19 08:22 PM
54

I don't think the context, or your feelings about yourself, could change the value of what he did. It sounds like on some level you have bought into the liberal feminist "sex positivity" myth. There isn't anything appropriate about a husband doing this to his wife, and I think you need to stop trying to rationalize and redeem it. He put you into a lose-lose situation where if you get upset, you're the problem, and if you play it cool, you're giving ground to another woman. Either response puts m…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 05:15 AM
2

This is such obvious truth that completely went over my head when I read Fascinating Womanhood at 18 or so. :(
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 02:57 PM
3

Is it possible that he was reacting to the fact that someone was trying to set him up at all, rather than the fact it was you in particular? I know I get annoyed and "ugh" when people start trying to meddle in my romantic affairs, especially if I'm already interested in someone.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/19 03:46 PM
9

I think you're looking for r/sociopath. If you were actually red pilled you would be concerned primarily about the welfare of your children, not your ~experiences~.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/19 05:47 PM
4

I was the same at 15, it was because I was badly socialized and emotionally blocked due to a bad upbringing. I used to call babies "larvae" and like you I was horrified at the grisly details involved in caring for something so seemingly boring. I got away from my family, worked on letting myself be vulnerable with others, and now I am comfortable having strong nurturing feelings and can sincerely enjoy babies and children. They're not boring, they're tiny people. If you feel that something is wr…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 03:40 AM
1

It's up to you to know yourself and what you value the most. (And to realize that your reproductive cycle will confuse you by making you value different qualities at different times.) You can love and admire a man for who he is and still realize that the course he is charting isn't the one you want to sail. From what I can tell, the women who have successful marriages with these types of men are usually very family-oriented (they really want a stable partner to enable them to have lots of kids) …
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 05:30 PM
4

INFP 4w5 last I checked.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 04:08 PM
18

Read Marie Kondo's excellent book of tidiness principles. There is a show on Netflix, which is good motivation if you're in a slump, but it doesn't replace the book. I think one of her tips is to store cherished items in a beautiful paper box (such as you might find at Target or Marshall's/TJ Maxx) and for everyday items she tends to group them according to a certain logic into wood or paper crates/boxes. The idea is to keep most things out of sight until you want to use them or focus on them. T…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/19 04:35 AM
4

These are the words that I needed to hear when I started dating. 3 relationships later and over 10 years of my life wasted, I finally learned this lesson. Do not tolerate a porn habit in a man, period. Either it goes, or you go. He has to make a choice as to whether his penis is a joystick given to him for his own entertainment or if it is a tool he can use to connect with another rational agent. It can't be both, it will never be both, because human brains are set up to pursue the most effortle…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/19 05:21 PM
3

Wow! That's a pretty eye-opening anecdote. Did the other man respond?
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 05:10 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 05:05 PM
0

Oh no, he is just a good friend! Sorry for the confusion.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 05:06 AM
2

Well, his reasoning was that everybody else in the shop was wearing casual dress, and I was the only one making an effort, so I stood out. He's the sort of person who reads the room and makes his choices based on what everyone else is doing (for better or worse) whereas I'm more idiosyncratic (for better or worse). So I think he felt second-hand embarrassment for what he perceived to be a social violation - he was like "Do you see anyone else here dressing up?" But what other people are doing do…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 08:00 PM
2

You are trapped in an abusive dynamic. "Beyond great" doesn't sound anywhere near how I would describe your original post. Don't paint yourself black just to make him look spotless.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 07:20 PM
2

But when I see my mother daily sulkily screaming at my father over such unimportant things, and see my father being so patient and reasonable, and her only increasing her insults to force him into anger, it makes me think of The Surrendered Wife (or any other great RPW book) and how surrendering might help so many of her problems. It's not going to help. Like someone else here said, this is personality disorder territory. Deliberately provoking people and manufacturing drama out of nothing is di…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 05:27 PM
1

What do you mean by feelings-oriented? What does that look like as opposed to the typical male?
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 08:58 PM
3

wow you really see right through me, huh. Like I said, I have been there. I’m not quite sure how to get rid of that, though. It’s kind of like... my thing. Easiest way to do it is to surround yourself with people who won't put up with it. Manual labor also helps. As a writer, you may also consider publishing your works under a pen name/anonymously.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 08:38 PM
22

I’m an odd breed, I guess. I’m young and still exploring my career choices. My passion is writing. I want to be a big author one day. I’ve thought about pursuing a career in the psychology field or detective work, as well. I just think I’m too smart to have my mind go to waste. I always dreamed of being remembered for being intelligent. You sound a lot like me. Here's my present approach: I'm in nun mode and as such, for the present time, I consider myself married to truth and logic. I am workin…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/19 07:39 PM
3

I'd like to get a Dickensian time-travel machine and go watch how much praise these guys get within their games from their fellow players, and how little praise these players get from their sisters, mothers, girlfriends what what these men have done in real life. Well, firstly, an MMO is different from a closed system in which the praise comes from NPCs without wills. It's the latter category of games I was primarily thinking about when I wrote my comment. I acknowledge that teamwork is an impor…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 09:39 PM
6

My last relationship featured this type of fight a lot. I would promise to do something for him out of goodwill, he would be a complete jerk to me because of his irritability and entitlement issues, so I would change my mind because I felt that being overly giving to him was just rewarding him for being an absolute piece of shit. This resulted in rage and in similar devaluing insults like you described above. He would justify all of his maltreatment against me with the fact that I wasn't consist…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 12:37 AM
2

The overtly selfish "my way or the highway" stuff doesn't bother me (since people can take it or leave it) as much as more covert forms of boundary-pushing. Not only did I make this mistake with my first boyfriend, I've also been in situations where people did not want me to leave, but were simultaneously trying to push me to assimilate with their ways to an uncomfortable degree. One was a female friend and another was a boyfriend. In both cases, my clothing/self-presentation was part of their f…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/18 09:17 PM
14

Maybe other women with more of a red pill attitude here can enlighten me, but, isn't this sort of fucked up? For a guy to try to make his woman into a certain ideal rather than sitting back and appreciating the reality of how she presents herself as a unique individual? It's one thing to dislike a woman's perfume, but to ask her to change her hair and wear a completely different style? My intuition tells me this guy is either hung up over an ex or is overly concerned with using his girlfriend as…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 07:12 PM
4

This guy, my first boyfriend, was voted "most likely to succeed" in his senior year and there's a picture in a yearbook of him posing with a computer. His career plan for anybody that asked was "programmer". He told me he wanted to be an indie game developer in his spare time, using the skills he learned at a regular job. The red flag specific to him was that despite spending most of his time on computers, he didn't program anything on his own. Not even a simple HTML/CSS webpage, which I was doi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 07:49 PM
–

At the risk of sounding like an Ariana Grande song, I'm thankful for my ex. Not just in the sense that his/our drama taught me to moderate my behavior but that the experience with him was an object lesson in the limitations of love from a man, that it's not the wonderful fantasy that our cultural mythology sold to me. Prior to being with him I was totally blue pill and dreamed of this ideal Pride and Prejudice type of love. He was my dream, even my cousin said he might be my "Mr. Darcy". That al…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 10:48 PM
12

Matters of ego, logic, spirituality are independent of one's biological role at the core, though they express themselves differently through the different biological imperatives. I don't find my inner, existential experiences to be any different from the writings of male philosophers, for example. I find the "big topics" -- religious, scientific, logical, existential or spiritual -- to be the points of similarity and the smaller topics -- societal and interpersonal -- to be the areas of greatest…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 09:21 PM
32

I'll add this bit to He's entitled: You'll hear excuses like: -- "I won't do <insert low status job here>, because I'm smarter than that/the work is beneath me." -- "If I take this low status job, it will reflect badly on my resume and I'll be less likely to be hired at a better company than if I don't work at all." -- "I can't take jobs with normal hours because I'll have to change my sleep schedule to get up earlier in the morning." -- "I can't do any job with standing because my <insert occas…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 08:58 PM
24

My first boyfriend was a heavy gamer and this is exactly right. I actually fell for him in part because of the qualities of dedication and problem-solving that I saw him displaying while he played. I thought these would translate into the real world and he'd be a real catch -- I was so wrong. It is exactly as you say, he got a false sense of accomplishment without the risk of failure in the real world. Some men are strong utilitarians who prefer to maximize the reward to risk ratio, who in the p…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 08:41 PM
4

OK. I don't see anything abnormal or childish about the outfit you linked. I would call it more whimsical and romantic than anything (perfect for a date with a steady bf). Still, it doesn't say "take me seriously" because with a skirt that length, you can barely bend over, and you constantly have to watch the hemline when you sit down, etc, which makes you "fragile" because you can't be spontaneous. I think if you want to be taken more seriously you should ask yourself if your outfit would be ap…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/18 05:47 PM
5

People don’t take me seriously. It would be useful if you shared some examples of the outfits you are picking out (not on you, no selfies). My gut tells me that your idea of femininity is associated with innocence and purity and that this is the reason for the "dressing like you're 10" comment. If you are also nerfing/repressing your sexuality or other parts of yourself that don't conform to whatever idea of femininity you have internalized, this will make others feel uncomfortable around you, b…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/18 02:46 AM
2

He doesn't enjoy leading me, he seems to want me to be an independent thinker. This doesn't work because I am submissive in nature. This is a huge red flag that signals you have identity/codependency issues. Submissive in mind and submissive in behavior are not the same thing. Your man doesn't want the relationship to be an echo chamber, but a meeting of two minds. Submissive means deferring to his reasoned judgement after providing your reasoned input. Being capable of reasoned input requires t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 07:31 PM
10

Why some girls/women don't love or connect with the "woman" in them: Wow, this all rings really true for me. I was a tomboy since childhood and even though I dabbled in nail polish and whatever, my mother taught me almost no feminine social graces. I used to joke that I was raised by wolves, but honestly even wolves would have imparted more social skills. Feminism becomes bad when it is radical, when it is about women disliking men (not needing them), not taking care of their appearances, saying…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 06:49 PM
2

Wow, those are some seriously lovely clothes! Too bad I'm neither tall nor voluptuous, lol. :) I did find a few blouses I'm fond of but I'm shy about the colors (creams and ivories often come out too yellowy or beige-y on my cool tone skin). The styles are spot on though. Linking in case someone else sees and can recommend more sources for blouses like these! https://topvintage.net/en/vintage-retro/40s-natalie-blouse-in-cream https://topvintage.net/en/vintage-retro/40s-beccy-blouse-in-ivory
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 04:21 AM
13

I'm not 100% schooled on all this RP stuff, but the way he approached you in the first place seems very indirect and casual. It doesn't sound like he wanted to put a lot of effort in. By contrast, the effort you put into your appearance for the date signaled to him that you have high expectations for a potential partner. He probably just doesn't want to play the role.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/18 06:26 AM
3

So without the social safety net, there is no reason that you cannot work to build yourself whatever life you desire. I would say that it is much riskier to work one's way up without fallbacks in place, especially if that upward mobility involves paying for education. You have the right to your politics, but do not pretend that your benefits don't come from someone else's hardwork and obligations. I had no intention of suggesting otherwise. I plan to work all my life and pay into the same system…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/18 02:36 AM
1

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. In my reading I've not seen the term Progressivism used. It's been Socialism vs. "Sovietism". With regards to women, it's perhaps more important than ever to tease out the emotional manipulations held in most socialist messaging as fundamentally leading to poverty, diminished freedom, and society wide suffering. I don't know how much of my thinking is influenced by emotional manipulations and how much it is based on a rejection of the hyper-conservative att…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/18 02:15 AM
12

Modern women have “liberated” themselves from men, but in doing so, they have created within themselves a storm of insecurity and dissatisfaction with the independence they so desired. They want to be single mothers or have powerful careers, but find that without men, they turn to the state for security. Socialist here. I don't want to be a single mother or have a powerful career. I turn to the state for security because I do not have enough earning power to support myself as an independent adul…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/18 08:16 PM
1

If I'm wearing a skirt I prefer to wear spanx and tuck the shirt into them. Perfect. That's what I'll probably end up doing. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 07:24 PM
1

> If I'm wearing a skirt I prefer to wear spanx and tuck the shirt into them. Perfect. That's what I'll probably end up doing. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 07:24 PM
1

I have noticed this in my dealings with introverted and rational men. They see it as an unpleasant inconvenience to be endured.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 04:10 AM
1

Thank you. Smudged and dented polish is the worst. And their Petal Pusher color looks promising even though the name makes me think of a dead person. :P Edit: Tried the polish tonight, forgot to get a base coat and I'm out of practice so it's streaky and looks like a kid did it. But it's a good look. Thank you again.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 09:33 PM
1

Yes, good idea!! Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 05:56 PM
1

Any tips for "simple" makeup that looks and feels like I'm not wearing any? Or where I could go to learn from a pro? Youtube tutorials just confuse me because everyone's skin tone and type is different. I own basics like soft charcoal mascara and clear plumping lip gloss, I just never bother to wear them because I don't have a full facial regimen.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 05:54 PM
3

Thank you so much. This is solid advice, especially the cardigan (would never have thought to try a ruffly one like that, but it will almost surely look better than a plain one) and I did not think of asymmetrical hems on the maxi skirts. I was worried about the look getting boring so this helps a lot. Does Zara put out a physical catalog? Searched, but didn't see how to sign up for one. Their web design is a little chaotic and the closest store is hours away.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 05:43 PM
1

You can go ahead and PM me if you like.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 05:24 PM
1

I find that any colour except black for woollen skirts might age you. Thanks, that's definitely something I'll keep in mind. Turtleneck jumpers look great with a black maxi skirt too. Ah, yes! I try to keep it mock neck to avoid bulk but this is a great suggestion. crop tops are your friend My problem especially with cropped sweaters/jumpers is that these days the style is to make them look like a box and they throw my proportions out of balance due to my shoulders already being broad. (If anyon…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 05:15 PM
2

I'm historically squeamish about painting my nails but that's a good tip, I'll give it another shot. The watch idea is brilliant. I'm constantly late. Honestly meant to buy one and completely forgot, so thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 04:55 PM
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