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LauraMDoyle Archive

View 6 posts and 70 comments by LauraMDoyle on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Superpowers yes! Crime fighting not so much...
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/17 05:52 AM
2

I'm working on UK and Australia. Any other requests? Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 03:16 PM
1

Ah, good question. What language does your wife speak? So far it's just in English.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 03:16 PM
2

I fixed it. Should work now. Thanks for letting me know.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 02:15 AM
5

Thanks for the correction! Did I mention RPWs are very supportive? I feel the love.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 02:15 AM
3

Thanks, SouthernAthena! I'm super excited too. I appreciate the good wishes. Tell your L.A. friends for me.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/17 01:30 AM
6

That sounds very annoying. I wouldn't like that either. But for me this seems like a pretty easy fix. We had the same issue where my husband seemed really passive and was not taking much initiative. It didn't mean he didn't care--it was more a reflection of how I'd trained him to just let me make all the decisions. Or else he'd get in trouble. I did it to myself but it was very lonely. Maybe you haven't done that, but for me it was key to learn the difference between him asking for: 1. My opinio…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/17 01:29 AM
3

I relate to this so much! I was a pretty serious porcupine with bouts of full-blown rage thrown in for the first few years of my marriage. What I learned to do differently didn't change my personality--it just made me my best self. You CAN get rid of your spite for good, because if I can do it, believe me--anyone can do it. Therapy didn't help much because we focused a lot on the problem. What helped was learning to check in and see how I feel and what I want. I ask myself that all the time now.…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/17 09:50 PM
4

Thanks for that compliment! Yes, I plan to make the TV series widely available. The live experience is just going to be a special thing, and I would love to have my RPW cheerleaders there if they're in the LA area.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/17 09:09 PM
1

Thanks! I'm excited to get the word out.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/17 09:03 PM
3

Yes, you need the email to be able to access the call. Check your spam filter, but if you still don't see it, email [email protected] and she'll take care of you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/15 07:03 PM
4

I can sure relate to that too. It's so much more comfortable and relaxing to be a woman than a smaller, less hairy man.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/15 04:48 PM
26

I wanted to thank the RPW mods and everyone who participated in this AMA today. I so enjoyed myself and appreciate the warm welcome! Than you for your support an encouragement. Until we talk again, take good care of you.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/15 01:13 AM
8

Yes the title did get translated all different ways. I had to surrender about that since I don't speak 15 of the languages. I understand there is no word that means "Surrender" in German for example. Not in the sense that we use it, anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/15 01:04 AM
2

Thanks, Vguertin88! That's so sweet of you! I don't have any plans to go to Mass at the moment, unfortunately. Perhaps you will come to my Cherished for Life Retreat one day and we'll meet in person that way! I think it could be a RPW love-fest. I have an early bird special coming up, which you will hear about if you're on my email list. You can sign up at killmarriagecounselors.com. I have a free 5 Day "Get Cherished" challenge going so you can get in on that too.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 11:41 PM
6

I'd favor WhimsicalWonderland having a conversation with herself about it first and figuring out her own desires. What is it you want? Then she has something to say to her SO. The answer is not outside of her. It's inside of her.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 11:34 PM
11

I would definitely leave out "your" from the I want to be a wife sentence. That's the difference between control and desire. There's never a "you" in a pure desire. Once you put it in there it's control. I think you're doing fine with your guy, so I'm glad you're feeling that it's just a matter of being patient. You can certainly express your desire and see what happens out of that. Also, you want to make sure that all your energy is a yes to him when he does propose. Sometimes a man will get mi…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 11:32 PM
12

Gabilromariz, you remind me of me! Only you know what's best for your life, but I can tell you I wouldn't touch my husband's CV and cover-letter with a 10-foot pole. Been there, done that, don't recommend it! That's all him, and he has a way of making things happen that is very different from the way I make things happen. Helping my husband was completely overrated. Mothering is deadly for passion, since men aren't sexually attracted to their mothers --nor mothers to their sons. My husband's CV …
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 11:25 PM
5

I will look for my Klondike bar in the mail! :-)
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 11:02 PM
2

Thanks, LadyGourmet. So glad you enjoy my work. It was a crazy, wonderful snowball and such an amazing gift. It's such a pleasure to have the goods in terms of something that really really works to make your relationship great!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 11:02 PM
8

CharmingChica, I've learned a lot by being in the trenches with women in their relationships and them sharing the insider information of what went on in their marriages. I coach women and I train relationship coaches on The Six Intimacy Skills, and that's been a great spot to learn from. I get to see that from Malaysia to Mexico, women are scared to relinquish finances, and hear about how they did it and what worked to support the intimacy and what didn't. I saw that in Israel and Jordan they ca…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 10:55 PM
6

Agh_missedit, I think six months of dating is long enough to know if you're wanting to get married to that person you're dating. So there you go--that's the magic number! Haha! But that doesn't mean if he doesn't propose after six months and one day that you're outta there! After six months, you might express your desire, as in, "I'm really looking forward to being a wife one day." That's strictly speaking for yourself, not telling him he has to propose, but it's letting him know that's somethin…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 10:50 PM
9

Great question. Here's the amazing thing I've learned from watching thousands of women implement the Six Intimacy Skills. If she has a good guy (not one of the three as you mentioned) she is able to use The Six Intimacy Skills to awaken his natural desire to make her ridiculously happy and become the cherished woman she always wanted to be 100% of the time. This is very difficult for women to believe when they first show up for coaching and they're really hurting and have been for a while, but i…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:37 PM
3

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:30 PM
9

Deserfox1986, I'd suggest you start with First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors instead of Surrendered Wife, because the latter title seems to rub women really wrong, and 10X if it's from their husband or boyfriend! Really, you could end up having to have SW surgically removed, so I don't recommend that. But the new book is worth a shot.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:27 PM
8

Why do you have to tell your SO? For me it's more about my side of the street, and how I'm choosing to be. Guys adjust to the new program pretty quickly.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:22 PM
10

The striving is typically not feminine, it's masculine. Striving is hairy!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:21 PM
7

WhimsicalWonderland, I've found I can't make US happy. I can only make ME happy. But then he's happy too. So then we're both happy. But I can't skip the first indispensable step of making myself happy or the whole thing breaks down. So what would make you happy? That's the million dollar question that I hear for you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:16 PM
7

For me I don't really see the relationship vs. career as a zero-sum game (if I pick one, the other one loses). I know there are lots of challenges with dual career couples, but for me a guiding principle has been to stay really focused on what I want and express and honor that. I've taken breaks from working, and right now I work like a fiend (new book is out! Hooray! Cue adrenaline!) and he's super supportive of that because I'm so happy. Giddy, really. I'm not big on taking care of my husband.…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:14 PM
8

I completely agree--men just want their wives to be happy, and as long as your guy knows that the most important thing is that you're so happy to be married to him, and then also that you would LOVE to be a mom, it's pretty rare that the guy doesn't come through and agree to be a dad. A lot of kids are born because their moms wanted them and their dads wanted to make their woman happy. What you want counts for a whole lot!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:09 PM
4

Sounds like an excellent plan! I'm not worried about you at all. I think you're in great shape--very respectful and wise.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 09:05 PM
6

I see what you mean about the Surrendered Wife being a rare secular book on a hot faith topic, but from what I hear, most faiths don't have a practical how-to book about respect anyway. They just say you should and don't explain the very practical, "This is how you do it step-by-step" part that I needed. For me, it's a universal concept for every woman who wants it. Which, when I was writing it, I thought was at least, AT LEAST 2,000 women. At least. Shows you what I know. Which brings me to the…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:57 PM
12

Sunhappy, sorry to hear about your recent heartbreak. That's tough! I'm so happy to hear you've ordered Surrendered Single. I think you'll find it's stuffed full of ideas for what you're asking about. In fact, I'd say there's a whole paradigm shift in there that you'll love. But just to get you started, I would say that your online dating and friend referrals are actually great--nothing to change about those except your approach. What's going to be different about those situations this time is y…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:40 PM
7

You're welcome! Glad you're finding my books wonderful. On the venting vs. respecting issue, what I've found is that there are times when you just have to get something off your chest about your guy. This doesn't happen much anymore to me, but it really did a lot in the beginning. So in that case I had two choices--try to stuff it down and hope for the best (that never worked) or share it with a girlfriend so my feelings got their day in the sun. I chose the latter, and I encourage my clients to…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:32 PM
4

Hooray! Good to hear! Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:24 PM
10

Strawberry, one of my coaches is a long-time military wife, and one of the gems I've learned from her is that when her husband is deployed she's very measured about which headlines she shares with him from the homefront. In other words, if there are challenges that he can't do anything about from Afghanistan, she's likely to be cautious about sharing that with him. She might get support from other wives in that case and just share lighter news, just so he's not fretting about something from so f…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:23 PM
4

HappyRPWOman, I have a retreat coming up in September 18-21, and we'll have an early-bird special coming soon. You may want to subscribe to my email newsletter to get notice of the special pricing. We just don't have the part where the men go off separately yet. But we have an amazing program for women! They're the highlight of the my year.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:16 PM
10

Thanks, dalls18! On to expressing your opinion. Here's what I've noticed about opinions. I have a lot of them, and I care a lot about them, but other people not so much. Let's say it's a topic that's not directly related to us as a couple--like politics. He can say something and then I can have a different opinion about it or say, "But what about...." and there's that whole conversation, but it doesn't usually result in feeling closer and more connected. And what I've noticed is, who cares anywa…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 08:13 PM
9

I'm not familiar with the Eldrige books, but I love the quote about beauty. That certainly echoes my experience that women (the sexier sex, or the more beautiful gender, if you will) are continuous magnets for men, who are a reliable 24X7 noticing service, God bless them! And while beauty does invite, it's our inner beauty--our vulnerability and receptivity--that create the impetus for lasting commitment. My single clients will say,"I'm attracting all these weird guys!" and I'm like, "Yeah! We a…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 07:29 PM
4

I agree--my book is full of great insights. Ha ha! I would think that. I'm getting punchy. Must be time for a break. I'll address this question first thing when I come back after some lunch.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 07:28 PM
14

No_Regrets, I appreciate that you've been paying attention! I hear my own words echoed back to me in your question, so that's flattering. Thank you. Of course you are correct that everyone can benefit from the serenity prayer: God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things (other people!) I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can (myself) and the wisdom to know the difference. And gratitude is a great quality for anyone to cultivate. But I have discovered that as a woman, I have s…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 07:21 PM
14

I'm a woman of faith for sure, but I keep my specific religious views private (even at an AMA!) so that my beliefs don't cause a roadblock for a woman who wants to have an intimate, passionate, peaceful relationship. My readers, clients and coaches are all different faiths--Muslim, Jewish, Christian, New Age and no faith at all. I felt like an honorary Muslim when I spoke to Muslim women and they had standing-room only and they all had dog-eared, highlighted copies of my books they wanted me to …
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 06:59 PM
5

You're adorable! You're 20 and you've been together since you were 13?!? Wow! Congratulations on your strong relationship. I'm sorry everyone is scaring the stuffing out of you by implying that you will grow apart in the future. That's not my experience, actually. The only thing you need in common is each other. You can have separate hobbies and activities and reconvene to talk about your experiences. The best thing I've ever found to keep my marriage happy is to keep myself happy. So that is jo…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 06:51 PM
8

Amyjoy! it sounds like it is your desire to be married. Do I have that right? If so, then Break Up!! would not be my first, second or third recommendation. At all. I had a woman come through coach training who was in your situation and by the end of the training (five months) they were married! That was pretty gratifying to watch. Here's what you might consider: Since the relationship is wonderful, I'm guessing you're respectful and not having control issues ala the way I was in the bad old days…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 06:40 PM
10

That compliment brings tears to my eyes! Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 06:18 PM
6

Well it is very tough when you're new in town. This too shall pass. But I've found the more I inquire about other people, the more they'll open up and tell me about themselves and the next thing I know we have a lot in common.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 06:10 PM
9

So happy to hear my work has helped you, Kikuhoshi! That's awesome. I'm pretty excited to not have my parents' relationship too. So glad there's another way. As far as people who find surrendering abusive, I usually invite them to tell me how it's abusive, so I can hear what the heck they're thinking, as that would indicate that there's a misunderstanding for me. People who think that are making some assumptions that aren't accurate. If we can get those on the table and dispel the myths, that he…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 06:05 PM
3

Ahhhhhhh! Such a great non-question, lengthynewt! I appreciate you too, because that's how I get to be not alone too--I need other like-minded women too. Congratulations on your wedding! You're a newlywed! That's so, so awesome. And yes, I also feel good knowing you're starting out on a positive, mindful foot. That makes my day!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:52 PM
9

Some people take a really academic approach to this stuff. I just wanted to save my own darn marriage at first. So this wasn't done in laboratories--it was done with real women in real marriages. And I did get some valuable tips from women who were married at least 15 years (that seemed like an eternity at the time) when I had only been married for six or seven. But I don't know that I would say that these views were more accepted by the generation before mine. They had the highest divorce rate …
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:49 PM
7

Wow, RPDame! CHILLS! This is awesome. I so admire you for what you've accomplished in your relationship. I know how scary it is, and how much focus it takes to make that kind of transformation. Kudos! I'm with you on the shouting it from the rooftops. I feel the SAME WAY. I just can't shut up about it because I'm so much happier and my husband is too. And when I look at the ripple effect of all the other women who are happier now too, I feel we have so much power, and such responsibility to lear…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:29 PM
7

Like I used to be!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:25 PM
6

Yep, got it! For some reason whenever I write numbers they change to 1s. That's one of the mysteries of reddit, I decided. Or you guys are punking me.:-) Either way, I'm not worrying my pretty little head about it.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:24 PM
10

I agree that covert manipulation is what happens when you don't feel safe to just say what you want. But a lot of us had that "i want" trained out of us as kids so the only alternative was manipulation, or giving a bunch with the hope that we'd eventually get our turn (that never works). I really value the ability to express my desires purely now. It was so painful when I didn't know how to do that. As far as insecurity--I find shaming is not super motivating for human beings. And as a mere mort…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:14 PM
13

It's so nice that we're together at last! Finally, right?
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:02 PM
7

So cute! Were you a girl scout? Because you seem very prepared. :-) This is an area where my experience is second-hand, as I don't have kids. But what I've seen with my friends and clients is that there's a lot to be said for pretending (acting as if) you love your husband MORE than your babies. Those little bundles of joy come into the world so vulnerable and unspeakably cute, and they need so so so much of your attention, it's easy to feel that relationship is more rewarding or fulfilling. But…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 05:01 PM
13

So exciting! Congratulations to you on the pending marriage plans! My parents are divorced too, and I did unfortunately start down the path of following that failed recipe by doing what my mother did. You, on the other hand, can (or have!) read the books I wish I had when I was 22 and newly married, like Surrendered Wife and First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors. So I'm jealous! :-) I hear how important it is to you to have your marriage be successful and I admire that. Since there's no proble…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:56 PM
8

Exactly! That's my experience too. The right guy for her will be exciting and amazing, but if you want him to be more of a man, it's like the old Cody commercial: Try being more of a woman.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:47 PM
25

One of the ways I keep our relationship playful is by showing up to it as the Goddess of Fun and Light (GOFL) myself. That means I'm dancing down the hallway, or taking a flying leap into him for a hug, or sitting on him on the couch, or I was jumping up and down while hugging him when he told me about this group, for example. Then he ends up asking me to dance to the song that just came on in our living room, or making up songs about how cute I am, and smacking me on the butt when he walks by. …
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:41 PM
5

Thanks! I think you're going to find it valuable. I've learned so much in the last 14 years about how to be desired, cherished and adored by a man.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:36 PM
26

You're welcome for the books! Glad you like them! Since surrendering, I have to admit I spend a lot less time thinking about how to please my man because I know he's so happy when he pleases me. I think I'm receiving about 100 to 1 around here now, and he loves it and I love it. I do express a lot of gratitude. I'm super grateful to be treated like the princess every day, and to hear how I'm beautiful and never have to put gas in my car and on and on. I can't thank him enough, but I definitely t…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:35 PM
26

Love it ecossecho! I remember Playboy magazine wrote a scathing review and a woman wrote to me and said, "I found out about your book in Playboy and it saved my marriage! Thank you!" So I don't care what people say about me as long as it gets a conversation started. Congrats on your relationship getting happier lately! I know how much courage that takes. Well done!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:27 PM
8

I meant to say thanks for the encouragement from your counselor about the new book Title, "First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished and Adored for Life." I thought it might also be controversial (like Surrendered Wife) but so far it's being received with a big, "Yup!" I didn't see that coming!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:25 PM
15

Thanks for the high praise, RPDame! Glad to hear SW has been so helpful for you. As to your questions: 1. I still remember that when I was learning to surrender and really had no idea what I was doing, I was just a terrified mess and didn't think it would work for me. I didn't know I was controlling, I didn't know there was another way. I remember a woman saying to me, after I asked her for advice, that she tried never to criticize her husband no matter how much it seemed like he deserved it and…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:23 PM
10

I haven't found that translation yet. For me, what's been helpful is showing that I trust him and respect him with my actions. I expect the best outcome when he takes on a project (he recently replaced the cracked screen on my iphone, for instance. And I used to say he couldn't fix ANYTHING!). Turns out, the guy doesn't need my help! Just like he didn't need any help when we first met and fell in love. It was only later that I deemed myself a lot smarter than him and decided to try to improve hi…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 04:03 PM
25

Oh, definitely! I have my share of haters. I bet this group can relate, right? Part of the way I got in trouble with my marriage was by thinking I knew what was best for my husband ALL THE TIME. There was a complete lack of humility for me, and in fact I didn't understand why anyone would want to be humble. I didn't see the value. These days I'm pretty clear that while I'm the expert on my own life, I know only a little about anybody else. Every woman is the expert on her own life. I'm happy to …
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 03:57 PM
20

I completely drove my marriage into the ditch with my control. I did not realize I was being controlling--only that I was being very "Helpful." I was helping him dress better, eat healthier, with his resume, etc. But helpful in wife language is critical in husband language. So I was shooting holes in the bucket of our intimacy every day without even realizing it. I very nearly divorced him, which would have been soooooo tragic. He's the love of my life and we've been married for 25 years. So gra…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 03:48 PM
12

Absolutely! Recently, we had a situation at our house where we miscommunicated badly. My husband deleted a bunch of files I wanted to keep. Of course I had an immediate human reaction that was bubbling up--you know the one--and wanted to say a few things that wouldn't have been good for the intimacy in my marriage. Instead, I chose not to make a big deal about it. He already felt terrible. So I had a problem that I lost some files, but one problem I didn't have was tension in my marriage! Stayin…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 03:46 PM
5

Thank you! I'm thrilled to be here!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 03:43 PM
16

TryanotherJuan, First of all, you're welcome for writing SW and SS! Glad they were helpful for you. Secondly, Congrats on your engagement! So exciting! On the decorating issues, I know for me as long as I'm staying in pure desire, I don't have to worry too much about hurting my husband's feelings. In fact, when I worry too much about him, that gets me in trouble because he would really rather be making me happy. One idea I have about approaching this is to do it with a spirit of playfulness, lik…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/15 03:42 PM
1

So happy to hear my book helped you get a great response from your guy, Hams! This makes my day. LDRs ARE hard, but it sounds like you're keeping yours strong. Congrats! I'm excited to be doing an AMA all day on June 3rd. Hope to see you there. I'd love to answer any questions or offer you more support.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/15 04:38 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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