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Lean_BigDaddy Archive

View 0 posts and 78 comments by Lean_BigDaddy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:41 PM
14

My ex had a whole other kid at 41 that she hid for over a year and we had 6 together! Lol I don’t think the guy lives with them but she too manipulates them not to discuss the other 50% of their life (I don’t question or quiz them either), I just do my best to be my best when they are with me!
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 01:32 PM
4

Nice!! My 10 years was cut to 6 years as she thought she was going to get more, and when the state calculator told her no, we upped the maintenance per month for less time. 3 yrs, 9 months to go for me!! lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 01:15 PM
4

Low level, it sucks and once in a while I might grumble to myself, but it is automatic 2x a month (combined with CS), and mentally I know every month is closer to ending! I would have been stuck with 10 years but when ex realized she would get less than she thought with Maintenance and CS we negotiated to 6 years with more per month. It solidifies the revelation that all men pay, and married men pay the most! I paid dearly during marriage and continue for a few more years!
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 04:00 AM
2

Not really unless you can somehow get it through her head that you won’t budge! My only issue was custody as she had the entitlement delusion, I told her exactly what I would get which I did, could have cost $7500ish, ended up being close to 40k between the two of us and her attorney was depending on profits from sale of home/rental property in other state to get paid in which after remodel and mold mitigation was much less than expected. She is now paying her attorney back at 18% interest! SMH
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:40 AM
3

Not for me, my 6 (50/50 custody)has scared a couple of ladies away, but most are in awe! lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:39 PM
1

Uh excuse me ma’am you are the one wrecking the one home!! The delusion is unreal, so glad mine is over and rapidly fading into the distance! Thankfully none of the false allegations stuck!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:29 PM
1

You can get a lot of 1 hour free initial consultations from attorneys, they will see her income difference and be happy to take your case.. the wife being the main breadwinner and by that much is not common, but they 100% get what they think is owed to them when the husband makes significantly more!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:10 PM
1

And if you give up on less than 50% in the beginning, it can and most likely will be used against you later if income changes, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:05 PM
2

I was going to add comment about the word visitation.. it’s not just semantics, mindset has to be 50/50 JOINT custody! My BMT tried to tell me I was only going to get weekend ‘visitation’ and I got exactly what I told her I would get; 50/50 joint (and week on week off which was the best interest of the kids in our scenario).
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:01 PM
5

Just don’t marry or move her in, enjoy it while it lasts, learn when the red flags start burning and move on lessons learned, should make you stronger! lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 05:04 PM
3

Get your passport, even then, keep them in country of origin.. lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:22 PM
2

I knew I had a few years grinding after evaluating my finances and the devastation from the baby momma terrorist, I mapped out a plan and things are still tight year and half in, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not easy, but I am determined and will be sailing smooth in a couple years!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 03:03 PM
2

Sorry this doesn’t necessarily address what you disclosed, but you gave her the two kids..
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 03:16 AM
5

Good time to invest in wine, cat food and therapy corporations!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 03:06 AM
4

And her apparent hatred and intolerance is moral? Take this opportunity to free yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 06:09 PM
8

Why let the State get involved in your relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 03:56 AM
17

If you respond at all, it should say: easy solution, we can adjust custody in my favor. 😊
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 05:12 PM
7

You haven’t blocked her yet? Or if you have kids only communicate through a parenting app!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 05:55 PM
3

“Onward and upward” has been my motto since I was mostly set free (5 years left of 6 in maintenance or marriage punishment payment not withstanding.. lol).
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 12:44 AM
1

I basically made double what she made (thankfully large raise came after the last disclosure ;)!
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:12 AM
1

I agree, default was ten yrs, but she wanted more per month when she realized she wasn’t going to get as much out of me as she originally thought! Yes I did, she worked part time 4-5 years before kids, stayed at home for 9 yrs, worked full time a couple years before CV19, then part time until she filed. Never went to court (I almost wish we did as I had evidence to counter all the false alligators!), I would not budge on what was fair and best for the kids, so after her futile attempts to roll o…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:47 PM
4

Don’t love them, don’t hate them, just learn to understand and be indifferent to them (shout out to CGA)! Then you can choose how much you deal with them or not like our good brother OP.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:38 PM
1

Unless I missed it, do you have any custody time?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 05:41 PM
1

I am similar to you guys, I pay $850 ‘maintenance’ (or back pay for.. never mind) lol, and have joint 50/50 (almost $40k between the two of us in attorney fees to get to best interest of the kids custody 🙄), and still pay $420 a month (6kids!), so total of $1270/m. The maintenance was setup for 6 yrs and I am almost past the 1st yr 😊 I have a lot of marital debt, but career is solid and I am working extra the next couple years to get back to being debt free (like I was the first half of 20 yr ma…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 05:38 PM
7

Bruh, trust us, we know its hard, and including the initial thoughts of her being with someone else, but shed a few tears in private or with close bros, and take the advice of many men here, heal up as soon as possible, work on yourself and it will soon be behind you. You will embrace and love your new freedom, and if you better yourself (money, physical, etc.), it won’t take long till you will attract ladies better in a lot of ways than her, just sayin!
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 10:07 PM
5

Absolutely not bro, it will extend the marriage clock and as many have already mentioned, be costlier a few years from now, and this coming from one who thought marriage was for life too..
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 02:16 AM
4

Almost sounds like the basement dweller 20 yo doordash kid that my 38 at the time ex was “manipulated” by! He got what he wanted and dashed! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:21 PM
2

I am and have been fortunate to have a good network (church, job, lots of friends/acquaintances), however I finally started evolving and growing out of life long more staunch religious views, and F3 opened me up to a new circle, and now as close to some guys in less than two years than others in my life that have been around a lot longer!
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 09:59 PM
2

Absolutely!! I joined while I was separated and right before she filed, was already in shape, but the community and even working out in adverse weather was so good for me. There are many chapters across the country/world, please check it out if you guys have not heard of!
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 01:30 PM
2

Close to mirror of my situation here in CO, I also have ‘maintenance’ for 5 1/2 more years of $850 month, because she wanted to stay home and I was able to facilitate working my butt off!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:46 AM
1

This! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:16 AM
3

If you are able show up at her school, I will be doing the same here in a bit over my lunch break for my 4 girls!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:47 PM
3

Stay strong brother! You will “become best version of yourself” in turn will be the best you can be for your kids!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 04:23 PM
7

You betcha, had childhood trauma that was never addressed, don’t have time to lay out the marriage/separation situation, but this post is spot on!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:39 PM
3

Hope the nesting works out, I think there should be more of that for the kids sake, no way my ex wanted to do that (she of course thought she would get more than 50/50 which didn’t happen!). It should be parents living out of a suitcase instead of the kids is my point!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:58 AM
1

Wow that quick! lol Don’t know the exact answer for you, but even if child support were to increase can they live off just that! Depending on your custody, you could fight for more time if she pulls anything like that(?). I would prefer not to have another man around my kids but as long as he treats them right, I hope my ex does get remarried like she thinks she will at 40 with 6kids, so ‘maintenance’ payments will end! 😊
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 02:39 AM
2

I will say hike even though most of the time I am doing one that could be considered a workout. I have wanted to learn salsa dancing for a while, so started toward the end of last year (salsa and bachata). I am a musician as well.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 06:47 PM
1

3TOB trading places!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:01 AM
2

At first, I didn’t even care I was OK with whatever the system said I owed, I was just glad to be rid of the parasite! But then when you think about it in my situation; she wanted to be the SAHM/trad wife and I was able to support that at first. Mine didn’t have any education, had very low self esteem, and I literally begged her to get her GED (which she never got, because fellow students at alt school were “to ghetto” to be around)! A couple years before Divorce I again literally had to push he…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:05 PM
2

Yeah definitely take care of yourself out there! I am definitely a decent dude, but it is a wacky world out here with crazy folks (that might seem decent!!). My experience was definitely outside of my ‘normal’, but would totally do it again! lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:15 PM
3

I am doing better already am most ways, but 6 year from now I will definitely be doing good as I won’t have to pay her ‘Maintenance’ any longer!! lol
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:35 PM
1

Emotional lettuce mentions Grub hub driver.. I drive Lyft/Uber on the side as part of my divorce recovery plan, and gave a ride to a single mom who was without son that weekend and was a lil sad. We had great conversation and when I dropped her off she asked for my number. Well my former Christian Conservative self who had never really sown any wild oats sexually said what the hey. I got off later that evening, she invited me over and I was just chilling with her when she took charge and gave me…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:20 PM
1

Indeed we do! I have had ok success I guess on several dating apps as far as getting dates with great ladies, also on Tinder but have only got freaky with single moms (I am a single dad) on Stir! Lol I thought Tinder was for getting laid??🧐😂
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:08 AM
1

Dang and I wish I could find a lady like you in my town.. lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:23 PM
3

Hang in there bro, take care of yourself and be strong for those kids!
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 03:39 AM
5

It is ‘usually’ most beneficial to file jointly especially with kids, we filed jointly in the middle of divorce proceedings and the recommendation was to do that from tax expert.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 08:16 PM
7

Cookie cutter blueprint!
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 02:15 AM
3

Bruh, I probably have slightly more absurd story (especially with AP age gap), and still SMH thinking of the crap I put up with, and I had 6 kids with her. I did get 50/50 just like I told her I would and owe her for 5 1/2 more years of alimony, but the future is bright my friend and it sounds like yours is too! It yeah sucks when you reflect sometimes, but the freedom is awesome now!
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 04:58 PM
4

Do you have any evidence to show you asked her to work, or that SAHM was her choice? My ex did start working the last 4-5 years of 20 + yrs so that helped, only got 6 yrs in alimony!
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 11:20 PM
3

Bro, none of us want/ed to start over, but I am sure you will soon realize might be the best thing for you. Create, start new chapter of your life and don’t look back! I was debt free first half of 20+ year marriage, then the last half, kids, then separation and divorce this past year basically wiped me out and will take several years to recover (currently at 42). I have what I need and will be sitting good here in a few years. Hang in there!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:21 AM
0

I considered therapy, glad I didn’t, joined mens workout group that does all workouts outside (even in sh**ty weather), ran more, started listening to CGA, was already pretty well put together, have done pretty well I think in the dating dept although it is low priority!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 12:12 PM
7

Love this, thanks for sharing!!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 04:07 AM
2

Totally understand bro, I would have the same thoughts, but thanks to this sub and the great CGA I am learning how to handle the X, I have kids, so have to interact, but keep it bare minimum only as necessary. The good thing is she will see my success, so I hear ya!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 07:11 PM
2

Don’t do it. (Period) You found peace, don’t let it get disrupted!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:13 PM
2

I felt the same last year, told CEO, boss (CFO), and executive VP who is like my work mother once the ex filed, they had no clue that I was living separated the whole year and all I had been through, ended up getting largest bonus of career and another nice jump in salary early this year!
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 05:55 AM
6

Yup 😉 I learned the hard way, thankfully I had a good (hot young female) attorney and got alimony down to 6 years instead of 10 or life which was being threatened by her attorney!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 03:12 PM
10

Yup “all men pay” and married men the most!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 02:58 PM
1

Mine tried the same accusation, I had tons of evidence to the contrary that was submitted at the last hour possible for court date, her and attorney signed agreement 15 minutes later, cancelling that court date 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 04:34 PM
2

I don’t know for sure about commissions, but my ex and her lawyer kept trying to submit a lower income for her when her paystubs showed a long average of 25% of pay in tips, and my attorney held their proverbial feet to the fire (married over 20 and in Colorado, and she was SAHM for a long time), I am guessing commissions do count. Her lawyer threatened to fight for lifetime, but we said “bring it”! She never wanted to go to court and I got 10 years of alimony down to 6 😊 I would gather as much …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 05:30 AM
5

Same, and mine was able to get a lot of freebies (for now) playing victim, during divorce process she even insisted on a child family investigator which would NOT have changed 50/50 outcome, and the reports I collected from kids teachers were clean except for two of them which specifically pointed out my involvement with kids with school stuff, and not seeing the mother for the last 1-2 years! She ended up dropping the CFI right before the process started and we were going to each have to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 10:44 PM
2

This!
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:11 PM
4

Pretty similar here, 41 fit, clean, even with ‘get my toes wet’ half a**ed profile, have had decent luck.. at this moment juggling several attractive ladies! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:09 PM
2

Bro, very similar story to mine (devoted religious background), we did seem more mature at 20 and 18 than folks that age now and even then, but if I had only known what I know now. Feb was 21 years (she filed in Oct 22), we separated for a year before that. I have already cried my tears, pondered WTF happened, but now it is time to move on, and I am already loving the freedom and success without being chained down with marriage!
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:45 PM
3

I have 6, and paid a lot of money for the first 3 with infertility and NICU stays and while I never wanted to have that many kids, she assumed I would just rollover and give her more than 50/50 when I have been very involved! Well my state is 50/50 anyhow unless extenuating circumstances (of which there are 0), and the ole gal finally realized I wasn’t nice guy give what she wants anymore! A small dark side of me almost hopes she gets pregnant since she doesn’t subscribe to protection, but I am …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 10:09 PM
9

From everything I hear they regret it, especially with kids when they see how much of a homewrecker they were! For a brief time after she filed, I had it in my mind if she got cold feet before final orders I would except her back (with boundaries and in my frame) knowing it would take years of recovery.. didn’t take long to quell that thought. I can’t wait to be finally free of her!!! I haven’t rolled over this whole process and she doesn’t know what to do with herself 😂, she is NOT going to hav…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 02:11 PM
2

Had to chuckle at this as I definitely felt great as have pretty much won at every lil thing and the bigger things (custody’s arrangement, her only getting half maintenance and CS she thought she was ‘entitled to’, But emotions would swing at the next road block or nonsense she would initiate, have kept my cool though and almost to the finish line!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 09:03 PM
4

This 💯
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:55 PM
1

This 💯
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 12:24 PM
1

DO NOT have more if you do not want to, I ordered 3 but got 6, love them all with every fiber of my being, but that still didn’t make her “happy” and now guess what she did last fall after 20+ years of trying to make her happy..(??), filed for D 😊 The B…h thought I was just going to roll over and let her have more than 50% custody, NOPE and I am in CO which is a 50/50 state!
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 07:11 PM
1

Ditto here!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 06:48 PM
1

I am sure you have the facts in your side as do I, so just keep yourself safe until CFI and present the facts! Interesting find on the CFI that the court allocated to my situation, has all negative reviews online, but I am guessing and my attorney confirmed that she almost always recommends 50/50!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 06:47 PM
3

Hey I am in CO and my STBXW told the same ‘amicable’ lie as well, I lawyered up right away as really the only issue is custody in which she feels entitled to more than 50/50 custody “because she is their mother” 😂 And what do you know she filed motion for CFI right after our fruitless 4 hour mediation. I object simply because no need and don’t really have the money to pay for it, of course she is claiming victim and requesting state pay for hers. My response to the motion points out all the fact…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 05:00 PM
9

Sounds like my STBXW, she was too emotionally damaged from childhood, and I gave everything to try and make her happy, including 6 kids! I am fighting for 50/50 although in the end that is how it’s going to be here in CO anyhow. I am resetting, but already active, in shape and pretty sure I’ll be a chick magnet soon even with bald/buzzed head.. lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 04:43 AM
1

Do you mind telling what parenting schedule you have setup with 50/50, DM?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 05:52 PM
2

I am in CO as well and the STBXW just retained an attorney (I have had one since the start), and at our initial conference her attorney requested TO hearing, the earliest was end of Feb, but was scheduled for Mar 8. We have Mediation Jan 13th, but I doubt it will work as she feels entitled to more than 50/50, and I am not budging on anything less than 50/50 for me, I have been very involved in my kids lives and spend more time with them now than she does now that she is working full time!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 04:18 AM
3

If you are by your lonesome, find a physical challenge you can do and or find someone you can help! Donate time at homeless shelter, etc. Helping others will help you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 11:34 PM
7

Pretty close to my situation too!
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 03:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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