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LetsJustBeFiends Archive

View 6 posts and 52 comments by LetsJustBeFiends on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Awesome idea, man. I'm totally going to try that. As for oneitis, I don't think there's ever a downside to going sarging and getting more closes. A while ago, I was pretty torn up when my first ever number close ended in failure. (I really was starting to like that girl.) But this weekend I got a bunch more numbers, and so I feel less attached to the outcome with any of the girls I met.
/r/seduction22/08/10 02:42 PM
3

I have pretty much the exact same problem. I can open, make the girl(s) smile and even laugh, get a bit of conversation out of them... and then, complete blank. Am I absolutely sure they want to keep talking to me? No? Eject. I don't think it's an extension of AA, but just a fear of being creepy or awkward. For me, it doesn't matter if the set is seated or standing or walking, I feel like I'm just hovering on the outside. I feel like I can't stay long, or my false time constraint bluff will be c…
/r/seduction19/08/10 12:11 PM
1

I used to be afraid of this as well because of shitty past experiences with women. Now I'm a lot more comfortable with touching people. You just have to push your boundaries little by little. Also, I'm not a lawyer, but the common definition of assault is: In criminal and tort law, an act, usually consisting of a threat or attempt to inflict bodily injury upon another person, coupled with the apparent present ability to succeed in carrying out the threat or the attempt if not prevented, that cau…
/r/seduction18/08/10 01:46 AM
1

Heh, I think I'm the only Japan-based guy here who's not in Tokyo. I'd be fun to hang with you guys if I'm ever up there. And congrats, by the way. That was clearly some tight game.
/r/seduction18/08/10 01:32 AM
8

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then…
/r/seduction17/08/10 12:01 AM
-9

Japan
/r/seduction15/08/10 09:43 AM
3

Yeah, I figure that's what it probably was, but I don't want to use "it's a cultural thing" as a recurring excuse when I fail. It still doesn't answer what I should have done, and what I can do next time to improve.
/r/seduction11/08/10 01:24 PM
1

Thank you for the systematic breakdown; things make more sense to me this way. I went from rank 2 of your scale to 3 and edged over to 4 near the end of the night, but I probably didn't spend enough time there. Or perhaps with cultural/social considerations the transition curve is steeper. Also, I've gotten the impression that inviting a woman over (or otherwise going to a potential sexytime spot) was something you do after the kiss. I'd better rethink this.
/r/seduction11/08/10 01:23 PM
1

Damn, I wish my city had a designated kissing park. I'd have so much fun asking girls to try it out.
/r/seduction11/08/10 01:22 PM
1

Yeah, even I've picked up the "self-deprecating" social habit, especially when someone compliments my language ability here. That's what I assume her disqualifiers were too. In any case, I clearly need to play the game more carefully in public here.
/r/seduction11/08/10 01:21 PM
5

AD&D: Judging by your user name, I'm assuming you played it. Ever think about why? The rules were pretty awful in retrospect; the Thac0 system in particular always gave me headaches. There were much less complicated ways to have fun. But I, for one, still played that convoluted game for years because I got some nice adventures out of it. Seduction is the same way. Honestly I don't like this game either. The rules are so broken and biased and the female players are so overpowered that unless you …
/r/seduction11/08/10 01:20 PM
1

Sounds good. See you around!
/r/seduction09/08/10 03:30 AM
3

Oh, I like that. Gonna use that tomorrow if there are people around. Thanks!
/r/seduction09/08/10 03:30 AM
2

Thanks man. And yeah, I've been in central Japan for about a year. When I think back to how much PDA I saw the first time I was in Japan compared to now, it seems people are relaxing about it a bit more, at least in the metropolitan areas. However, it's still not entirely acceptable to be seen doing it with a foreigner. In my case, I was worried that if her friends saw us kissing, they'd give her shit for it and trigger anti-slut defense.
/r/seduction09/08/10 03:29 AM
1

Heh, I can see how what I said could be interpreted that way! Actually she has very good teeth - not movie-star perfect, but that's not even remotely a big deal to me. Heck, yaeba can be kinda cute IMO. Aaaanyway, what I meant was that her smile is just all warm and inviting. I also have somewhat crooked teeth, since I grew up poor with no insurance to cover braces. I'm trying to be less self-conscious about it, but I often wonder how important it is to women here (or in general).
/r/seduction09/08/10 03:28 AM
7

Thanks for the FR! Sounds like a hell of a night out. One fun routine that I did a few times is a "role reversal." It's similar to the "shock value" thing you did, but you can really take off with it. Open her in English, but as soon as she says anything in Japanese, act all surprised and say "Nihongo shabereru!? O-jyozu desu ne!" Ask her if she can read kanji, if she can eat sushi, if she can use chopsticks. Act amazed at each answer. The more of her friends you can get in on this, the better. …
/r/seduction09/08/10 03:26 AM
1

Huh, I'd better tell all the guys at the Japan lair that they're wasting their time. And I guess the years that I lived in this country and never even got a phone number (until last night with the help of everything I learned here) have all been a bad dream. In all seriousness, I would love to hear anything and everything TokyoSeduction has learned. FYI I'm in Nagoya; I'm also white, fluent in Japanese, tall, (very) late 20s, and working on getting into better shape. I think what works for one o…
/r/seduction08/08/10 05:10 AM
20

For me, as a beginner: If you need to be told to "just be confident," such advice will do you no good whatsoever. It's not like there's an on-switch that AFCs just forgot to toggle. Confidence comes from accomplishment and positive feedback. Forget confidence. The word that many beginners need to hear is courage. Courage is acknowledging the fear, knowing that the outcome will not go your way, but you do it anyway. Yeah, that girl over there might shoot me down or even outright humiliate me, but…
/r/seduction08/08/10 05:08 AM
1

That line between confidence and arrogance puzzles me. I've always erred on the side of humility, even in job interviews and stuff like that. I just didn't think it was that unattractive. Let's say someone compliments you on some skill or ability you take pride in. What's the correct response? How do you not sound arrogant, but not too modest either?
/r/seduction04/08/10 01:34 PM
3

I like the cocky/funny of it. But I keep hearing that it's far better to get the girl's number than to give yours. What if you did one like this: ________________ (<= space for her name) Thinks Rick Bell is cute. He'll call you. Phone: ______________ (<= get her to write her number here) Once you get her name and digits on there, you keep that copy for yourself. Just an idea.
/r/seduction04/08/10 01:33 PM
2

Placement is a valid concern, but I think you'll find a certain charm wherever you end up. From my experience, the JETs in each prefecture network and have regular meetings. Even if they're the only English speakers you know for a while, you'll never truly be isolated. Plus, the public transportation system is really good, and chances are you'd be within commuting distance of a major city. I was placed in a relatively tiny, peaceful, old-fashioned town. I rarely saw anyone aged 19-30; perhaps th…
/r/seduction04/08/10 01:29 PM
1

I feel like you should have gotten alot more names or numbers, its good you socialized, but I don't recall reading anything following that up. Make sure you are actually getting some information, setting up some times to meet up later, etc. Remember rapport means nothing if you never see them again. That's obviously going to be my next major hurdle. There was one girl in particular I was talking to who looked really disappointed when I made motions to eject. She managed to say, "see you again?" …
/r/seduction04/08/10 01:28 PM
2

Yeah, you're right. I really need to challenge myself more like that. In the state that I was in by the end of the night, I probably would have had fun anyway. The problem was that I desperately needed a shower and a change of clothes. With only a couple of hours before the trains stopped running, that would have been difficult. By the way, I live in Nagoya (central Japan), not Tokyo. Typically Tokyo hosts the big international events like this, but for some reason my city is home to the cosplay…
/r/seduction03/08/10 02:23 PM
1

You should definitely give JET a try. It's a wonderful experience. That's what brought me to Japan the first time. My only regret is not learning back then what I'm learning now: How to socialize, meet women, and not be such a pussy. And thank you very much for the link. I'm downloading the archives now. :)
/r/seduction03/08/10 02:14 PM
4

I'm not going to downvote you, because you apparently don't know just how psychologically damaged I was before I started down this path. A month ago, I was not able to approach, at all, ever. I would not have dared put my hand on a woman without her express permission. I had a vast litany of harmful beliefs which I am still working hard to systematically dispute and eradicate. Frankly I'm surprised I've even come this far on my own and without therapy. While they are obviously trivial and even p…
/r/seduction03/08/10 02:13 PM
1

I SAW IT HAPPEN WITH MY OWN EYES. WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN. ...Sorry, couldn't resist. What you saw was, at best, anecdotal evidence. It's not true always and everywhere. If that's the mindset you wish to keep yourself in, that's very unfortunate. I once believed, for equally valid reasons, that any girl I showed attraction for would accuse me of being a stalker and destroy what little reputation I had. Learning about pickup, and with a lot of help and encouragement from seddit, I was…
/r/seduction31/07/10 12:51 PM
1

First of all, the race thing works both ways. Go to an internet dating site and you'll find plenty of Asian girls who (according to their "my match" preferences or explicitly stated in their profile) claim to only want to date Asian guys. Also... Dude. I've seen "ugly" white guys get laid in Japan constantly. CONSTANTLY. Like guys who were average AT BEST in the US would be swimming in pussy in Japan. Okay, wait. Do you actually have proof that those ugly guys got laid, or did you just hear them…
/r/seduction31/07/10 01:53 AM
2

As both a newb and a nerd, a lot of Mystery's stuff appeals to me. I like the scientific and analytical approach. This video where he's explaining approach anxiety from an evolutionary standpoint was a key factor in helping me overcome my own crippling fear of talking to girls. Besides, if pickup really is just a game, then it has rules that can be exploited, bent, or even broken. That is relevant to my interests. I've mastered so many games with boards, cards, tabletops, and computers that mayb…
/r/seduction30/07/10 03:00 PM
1

I think there are both long-term and short-term aspects to motivation. In my case, being a cowardly, anxious AFC my whole life and being completely and utterly alone for over a year was reason enough for me to look into pickup. But that's long term, which others have already commented on. Instead, I'd rather share my recent insights on short term mood and motivation. Every time I go out, I've had the exact same conflicting factors that imperi mentioned. One thing that really helps me is to get a…
/r/seduction29/07/10 06:19 AM
2

In Japan, women are generally very reserved and polite; it's hard to tell what they're really thinking. (Look up the term tatemae; it's a recognized cultural thing.) Also, people here tend to smile when they're nervous, so DeliciousWolf's suggestion about ignoring the mouth is probably a good idea. Even then, I can tell I'm going to have a lot of trouble determining interest over here. As a side note, depending on the area you'll hardly ever see any public displays of affection. It's catching on…
/r/seduction20/07/10 03:08 PM
1

Thank you for getting carried away. That was an incredibly useful post. I'll be busy absorbing that the rest of the night. By the way, it's "Fiends," without the r. As in a wicked seducer. Positive mindset or terrible pun? You decide. ;)
/r/seduction20/07/10 02:48 PM
3

If possible, I would appreciate advice from people who have been in this same situation, at at least the same severity (I mean, there are some of you who couldn't even look a girl in the eye before and now you can, right? so that's worse than me and you still got it fixed). Sounds like I qualify. A month ago I was legitimately afraid of being pepper-sprayed, slapped, or socially crucified. Even simple eye-contact made me feel like a creeper. The few times in my life a girl smiled in my direction…
/r/seduction20/07/10 02:45 PM
2

Some people manage to force themselves into direct approaches from the go, others, including me, needs time and need to start with something really simple just to get used to actually taking action without just locking up (I'd get breathing problems when trying to push myself too far). Heh, I thought it was just me. I've also had to start really small, and now I feel like I have to really push myself and get a running start before I take off and try approaching someone. Also, the "filtering" thi…
/r/seduction20/07/10 02:41 PM
1

That's probably true. There's still this stereotype about how Western guys can get Japanese girls so easily, but obviously I've yet to see this phenomenon. And yeah, Osaka does have significantly less foreigners than Tokyo, but in my experience there are still quite a lot of them who visit there from elsewhere in the country.
/r/seduction20/07/10 02:36 PM
1

I'll definitely try that, thanks! The "anxious" zone is taking a good deal of effort for me to move, but it is indeed moving, day by day.
/r/seduction20/07/10 02:32 PM
5

It's that nagging voice, you know? "If only I had done things a little differently, I would have gotten a phone number." But, you're absolutely right; I learned a lot from just this one approach, and I feel ready to try more things. Thank you.
/r/seduction18/07/10 02:54 PM
2

Thank you for the advice and encouragement! I feel like I'll finally be ready to open some locals tomorrow.
/r/seduction18/07/10 02:47 PM
2

I live in central Japan (Aichi prefecture). There are a fair number of gaijin working as English teachers, of course, but for some reason they're almost all guys in my area. Beyond that, Tokyo (esp. Roppongi) and Osaka have a large amount of foreigners.
/r/seduction18/07/10 02:37 PM
3

Upvote for incredibly useful info. And congratulations to the OP! I am envious of your success.
/r/seduction18/07/10 02:29 PM
1

Possibly. But I've read about other guys with issues just as bad as mine turn their lives around through seduction. If they can do it, it's worth a shot. Even if I fail at this, at least I'll have the CBT option in the future.
/r/seduction09/07/10 08:54 AM
2

While she's Asian, she's actually a US citizen who grew up in Hawaii. I'm not sure how much I should read into it. Most of the Japanese people I have known over the years do take a really long time to open up, though.
/r/seduction09/07/10 08:53 AM
1

I know, I know, but I think that value was somewhat ephemeral. Presumably she only saw the positive qualities I bring to company meetings. Also, I know more about the area than she does. If I meet a local girl here, I won't have that kind of social proof or the ability to show her around. What can you even do with a girl when you're new to a city and she's not? Let me tell you: nobody cares, they know you are foreign and they will forgive you. Huh, for some reason I had never really looked at it…
/r/seduction09/07/10 08:52 AM
1

I've looked into that option, but without insurance it's going to break my bank. (I recently paid off all of my student loans and don't want any more debt.) As for alcohol, I've found it actually gives me more anxiety. For some reason I don't get the "liquid courage" effect people describe; it just makes my brain feel sluggish and my speech slurred. Most of my coworkers are older and married, but I'll try to make whatever connections I can. And I'm definitely gonna go out more often.
/r/seduction09/07/10 08:51 AM
1

Awesome links and suggestions. Thanks a lot! And hell yeah, I AM getting better and better.
/r/seduction09/07/10 08:49 AM
1

A friend of mine (an opinionated girl) went to Japan her last year of high school. Her words were like so: "Japanese guys are all pussies". I am reluctant to agree with stereotypes, but yeah, the guys here seem like pushovers even to me. A lot of them are either trying really hard to peacock or just don't know how to dress themselves. I just hope that's not what all the girls here are into... Anyway, I really like your advice, especially just needing to "remember to do it." Up until recently, I …
/r/seduction09/07/10 08:47 AM
2

I can definitely sympathize with the OP's fears of seeming weird and annoying when approaching someone. One positive side, which I wish I realized when I was in college, is that just about all freshmen are in the same boat. You're expected to talk to random people because everyone's probably lonely, confused, scared, and looking for friends. Outside of a university setting, though, I've never seen someone approach me or anyone else unless they wanted something. Some spare change, a sales commiss…
/r/seduction24/06/10 01:25 PM
1

This is incredibly helpful. Someday, somehow, I'm going to put your advice to good use.
/r/seduction20/06/10 01:43 PM
1

The country where I live does offer social insurance, but it'll be another fiscal year before I can apply for it. From what I've found so far, the English-speaking clinics and counseling centers don't take the national insurance, and the local ones have treatments I can't make heads or tails of. "Introspective therapy based on philosophical Buddhist beliefs?" Two weeks in meditative isolation?? Maybe I'm mistranslating something... The good news is I've got no car (public transportation is great…
/r/seduction17/06/10 03:07 PM
2

I really appreciate this. To be honest I'm worried if I can really pull off the "fake it 'til you make it" mode. I tend to overthink things and my brain just isn't very credulous when I try to convince myself to think or act differently. Won't people be able to see that I'm actually a nervous wreck pretending to be calm and composed? Do you have any recommendations on how to get out of my own head and into an observer mindset?
/r/seduction17/06/10 03:04 PM
1

If you don't mind me asking, how did you motivate yourself to stick to your goals so well? And what sort of places did you go on all those days?
/r/seduction17/06/10 03:03 PM
1

I like this idea; my anxiety seems lower when I have social proof (or, in my mind, an eye witness to testify against any accusations levied against me). Still, it's gonna be hard for me. I'm really introverted, my social skills have atrophied, and I'm basically starting from scratch. My close friends are all in the US or elsewhere, and my coworkers are all middle-aged and married. Honestly I hardly know any single people to go out with. It would be great to have a wingman, or at least someone to…
/r/seduction17/06/10 03:02 PM
11

The worst thing that would happen is she tells you she's not interested? Oh, how I wish that were true for me. ...Sorry in advance for the long post, but I have kind of an unusual issue and would really appreciate some advice. I am mortified of the approach. My main problem can be traced back to a single incident over a decade ago. I had a huge crush on a girl in high school. I never had the guts to say anything to her until one Valentines Day when I put a cute little card in her locker telling …
/r/seduction17/06/10 09:59 AM
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