After spending yet another birthday alone a few days ago, I've made a resolution to fix myself. I want to learn seduction so I can have a fun social life and healthy relationships. Forgive me for the long post, but I would like some advice for my specific situation, critique for my current progress, and just some general ideas on how to proceed.

About me:

  • I'm a tall skinny white guy with intellectual tendencies. (What a shock, right?) I've been living in Japan for a year. First time in this particular city, but not the country. I'm fluent enough to often be mistaken for a native speaker on the phone, but there's a lot of slang and relationship jargon that I don't know. Maybe it's foolish of me to try and learn seduction in my second language when I can barely talk to girls in English, but I'd rather take on a greater challenge now than put it off again.
  • I've got big insecurity issues. Basically, I'm terrified of being called or thought of as a stalker/creep and of being humiliated in public, so I can't approach, or escalate, or display any assertiveness or sexuality. It's rooted in past trauma and therapy is not currently an option.
  • The only times I've ever had any success with women went almost exactly like this flowchart. And even then, I was walking on eggshells the entire time.
  • I'm shy and very introverted. Dealing with people wears me out so fast. However, I have no problem with things like public speaking. If I'm invited to make a speech or hold a lecture or engage in a debate, I can do that.
  • I can approach people for completely innocuous reasons, like asking for directions or something like that. But if I even think about attempting to move the conversation beyond that, I freeze up or just eject.

Progress I've been making so far:

  • I read The Game, of course, lots of very helpful posts on seddit, and a bunch more literature elsewhere. I've seen some videos by a number of gurus. As addressed in a recent "overwhelmed" post, there's just so much to absorb. I wish I knew what would be best as a guideline for me, or what works well on girls despite culture barriers.
  • I recently (finally) found a gym here. Before I moved here, I could benchpress 180lbs. But in the past year I atrophied so much I could barely do 90. FML. The gym is so new that it wasn't listed on any maps or guides, and the only way I found it was getting fed up at my scrawniness and interrogating everyone from coworkers to total strangers. I go 2-3 times a week, maximum intensity, and I'm feeling results already.
  • I've been working on my posture and body language. Recently, for two days in a row I've had cute girls sit right next to me on the train when there were plenty of other seats available. This has never happened before; the running joke in Japan is that foreigners here always have plenty of room to stretch out because no one sits near them.
  • I've been trying to (force myself to) smile more and gain and maintain eye contact with women in passing. It's no longer as scary as it used to be, but a lot of them just turn to their friends and laugh or look away nervously. Oh well.
  • I did this exercise, I think it's from David D, where you just observe women and write down what you would say to them. It was interesting, and some of the stuff I wrote was almost kind of witty. But, it almost always took me longer than 3 seconds to think of something, and for 95% of the women I saw I drew a complete blank.
  • I've been practicing things like patterns and transitioning from small talk on anyone I can. For example, I ran the Cube on two (female) associates of my former coworkers I met at a dinner party. It was my first time running a pattern, and entirely in Japanese! Stressful. I had to look up how to say "transparent" beforehand. Also, I got stuck at one point and basically had to pull BS outta nowhere. "Okay, so your horse was brown, and sitting down next to the cube? Er... That means... uh... Your ideal man is a boring, average nice guy who stays at home all the time. You probably don't even ride him much." ...Well, I thought it was funny.
  • I'm also practicing stuff with one of my company's new hires this year. She's in her early 20s and the only girl out of ten new employees, all of whom orbit her because she's absurdly cute. Somehow I got her talking over coffee and donuts, and she started telling me all this personal info, like how she just got out of a LTLDR, he was the only guy she'd ever slept with, how many times he's cheated, and so on. I have no idea if that's an IOI or friend zone alert.
  • I invited this same girl to a special event at the science museum last weekend. I told her (in a playful way), "Listen, this place is great, and you're coming with me. If you don't like science, you can go fuck yourself." I had never, eeeeever said anything like that to a girl before. I almost choked on those words. Turns out she likes science.

It feels like I'm making a bit of progress. I'm starting to think I might actually be able to do this. But I just don't feel ready to do real field work. This is a medium-sized city, not Tokyo. I'm one of only a few foreigners, already sticking out like a sore thumb. When I fuck up, everyone is going to notice.

Aside from just approaching and escalating, my major stumbling block is "value." I don't think I have any; there's nothing going on in my life that others would find exciting. I have no real friends here, just some acquaintances from work, and I find it hard to meet like-minded people. There are no local activity groups except for old ladies who play tennis during the summer. I don't drink, so I don't like bars or clubs. Other than the gym, I don't have any active/socially acceptable hobbies that I can do in my present location. The job I'm working now, while fairly stable, is my backup plan and probably a dead end. Even if I can open and temporarily demonstrate value with patterns or magic tricks or whatever, I'm almost certain that my target is going to see through the façade before long and notice all my faults.

Anyway, I'm not sure what my next step should be. My approach anxiety is bad enough without being scrutinized at as a cultural ambassador. How can I best take advantage of my current location and situation and mitigate potential problems? Have any of you tried your skills in a foreign country or language?