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Lumpy_Plant6914 Archive

View 1 post and 71 comments by Lumpy_Plant6914 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Sex and relationships aren't 'The' metric of loneliness. I've been lonely in a marriage with a woman, where she was decently good looking, wanted and initiated sex and even earned more money than me. I felt lonely and miserable, stressed and uncomfortable - I realized this wouldn't work for us, so I ended the marriage (we did some closure talks for a few years after though, and she remarried - I found a lifepartner) Loneliness is about having specific needs Not met. Typically the need for shared…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:19 AM
2

Yeah, but talking about the divide is one thing, experiencing it head on usually takes a romantic connection - because this is where these roles are the most ingrained - but also where we crave to be the most seen. There are a lot of posts on where that point out that men can't trust what women say. Though, this is gender-tainted glasses at its best. Yes, (many) women use words differently than the average man - and communicate more emotionally and non-verbally. This is valid, direct and authent…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 01:15 PM
2

Likewise, I appreciate your replies and the good faith. Helps me acknowledge and see these topics, within myself as well, more clearly. Through my relationship, I've seen how much my partner struggles with things me and my childhood friends were done with long before puberty. And understanding that someone's capabilities in an area can be so lacking, is hard to parse particularly when we (as you mention with anxiety too) are on a completely different level. Retracing the steps, and giving challe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:02 AM
2

I'd think the same thing. Watching Married at first sight and growing up in christian circles meant seeing and also meeting the people who aren't part of these conversations at all. Feeling that there is something wrong with them, deeply longing for a partner, extended family and/or children - not Men are the Problem. Standards, yes, but deep longing. PS If you join married at first or something similar, as a last ditch effort, I'll watch it and cheer you on! Not that it would make any sense if …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:05 AM
2

Yeah, I didn't mean that they actually brought out the online lingos irl, No, I don't want to talk to you - I'm de-cen-ter-ing men, but more in the sense that this is a distinct vibe. :) Good to hear that you were adequately cared for and nurtured, and that you have more flexibility and a widened comfort zone, despite being more than averagely aquainted with anxiety. That is more how I'd like for things to be, so nice of you to share. The tik tok part, I also wonder if isn't about trauma, but ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:52 AM
1

There seems to be a lot of conflicting pressures on both men and women, and finding a path that fits is both easier and much harder. I would say that offline, when I see a woman outside a romantic relationships and then afterwards within a happy one - the difference is pretty stark. Covid policies threw younger people under the bus, and it makes sense to me if they struggle with socializing. Though for those that find each other, it still seems to calm and ground people.substantially - both the …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:05 AM
1

My partner, whom I love and cherish, and who likewise loves and cherishes me - have actually struggled to take my plights seriously a lot of times. Though, how are we as men raised? I have had to learn to regularly express my emotions and physical vulnerabilities, and to take up my due space in a conversation around my struggles. We don't take ourselves seriously, and my partner has assumed that when I don't talk about my struggles in a typical emotionally coded-way, I'm good. It isn't because o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:07 AM
1

I'm not sure if I get this. If sex isn't a need, and fidelity isn't a need - where is the "marriage", and where is the "partner"? You are just two singles. If sex is a need, and fidelity isn't - There is still no monogamous marriage. It is a FWB, casual sex, open relationship or similar situation. If sex isn't a need and fidelity is - Platonic, romantic and otherwise marriages/partnerships/connections still thrive. If both sex and fidelity are needs - You have the rather common situation where y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:34 PM
-1

As far as I know, our attraction for people includes that we see certain values in their faces. I don't lead with sexual attraction because I am not planning to build a sexual relationship; I'm building a committed one, with love, care, challenging, inspiring and equal conversations, behaviours and actions. The thing is, people that find me physically attractive, or are 'into me', I avoid. Not because attraction is bad, but because if sexual attraction is so important to the person that they can…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 09:31 AM
–

Patriarchy is a stable system, with predictable flaws. Monoteistic religions and patriarchy go hand in hand, and both genders want to follow the will of god for different reason. Patriarchy give direction and expectations, reduce stress and make life easier, for many. It also easily leads to wars, lack of willingness to confront "incorrect" beliefs to reach more stable types of understanding - and it puts pressure on people to fit norms that no-one truly fits. The "mess" without patriarchy requi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 09:19 AM
2

I've read quite a bit of the comments mentioning this is a false equivalence. And to me it seems more like cognitive dissonance when people can't see your logic. Both blur the lines, period. Though I believe the issue is ingrained in our cultural script. 'Patriarchy' infantilizes women and cripples men's emotions. What you point out, the way I see it, is that the generalizing done to women, by calling them girls, fits the script. But it also reinforces and continues a way of seeing women as bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 09:01 AM
-1

Liked reading this. Was one of the few sane, calming and relevant comments on this post. Thanks for taking the time and effort. And yes, interdependence and learning from each other if need be. I'm less emotional, and have grown heaps from acknowledging and coming in contact with inner children and my less developed emotions. It gives me strength and capacity to care, be gentle and not fear myself. I can support my partner in developing her principles and to open up to how much we love each othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:05 PM
5

I have never done that, and so this is sort of an outsider view in a sense. From my view, if you are a guy, and you want sex (with anyone), and you only care about your own sexual gratification, then yes, that sounds depressing and hollow. And if women like sex, and want a mutually gratifying and satisfying experience, with some minimum of care, and this is what you provide, that seems subpar for those women (And for the guy, too, honestly). Flip it around, if you are a woman, and you only care …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:32 PM
1

Do you simply cherrypick and take my arguments out of context, then strawmen them to support your narrative? Being Unaware is Not the same as being Unaffected. You might not realize your perception is clouded by having a nail in your head, and you can live your whole life not realizing that you had a skewed view of so many things due to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 08:56 PM
1

Ignorance isn't bliss, it is destructive. It means you have sloppy intentions and motivations, and are unable to be honest with yourself and take responsibility. Does it change anything? The issue is that by not growing, you build a relationship on sand, instead of on steady ground. You build decline into the relationship, instead of removing it. Cheating is being fine with instability, and when you are confronted by your own actions (you 'know' you cheated) instead of improving your relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 02:53 PM
1

The biggest issue from my perspective isn't the clear cut cases where you are 100% certain you dislike something, and people still try to shove it in your face. When words, tone, facial muscles and body language is in alignment. Those are the clear cut cases of pushing a boundary. The ones that lead to direct conflict, clear communication and/or a temporary/permanent falling out. It is when there isn't much alignment, that the issues crop up. For me at least, "boundary pushing" started in kinder…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:11 PM
2

I've read a lot of the comments above, and this sounds like a rather unhealthy issue. Social skills, emotional regulation and talking things through... aren't those important? From how people describe these situations, dating someone, and an eventual break-up, leads to awkwardness and conflict - though isn't that rather counter-intuitive when we call it a 'community'? Because that doesn't sound like a healthy culture at all. Closure, open communication, transparency and authenticity - if we hold…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:53 PM
–

If we are to look for common denominators when it comes to empathy, people in general have an easier time empathizing with someone more similar to them with regard to social class, trauma, culture, worldview, cognition, neurodivergence and yes gender. It is Harder for men and women to empathize with each other, all else being the same. Add in a few other differences, and you can't really expect to feel understood even remotely close to good enough - especially in the short term. My partner loves…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:45 PM
2

If we by approach mean 'talk to in public', then I have done that much more than my country's average even. Though if you mean 'chatting up' with the singular focus of 'dating/sex', I don't think I have. For the former, I haven't really felt like talking, being curious and having some small/medium serious talk is frowned upon. For the latter, I am a black sheep in contexts like dance-parties/clubs, so the few times I've been there, people don't care for me at all. In those contexts, having 'game…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 01:05 PM
2

It is good you acknowledge more of the subleties and nuances, as that is the group I belong to. I think because I have a stable relationship, interacting with people becomes easier in many ways. It is much easier to have the right mindset, with good support. Of course, seeking out that support is also key. Covid did a number on people's social game, but my experience on apps is that it is very hard to be vulnerable and open. Physical space-holding, or even digital, doesn't work. When you are wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 05:20 PM
3

Thanks for the response, appreciate it. Yeah, apps sort of lead you to people's doorstep, instead of to the visitors section they have created down the road. Meeting people is easier, but it takes time and mutual interest. And gaining familiarity and safety, happens at different speeds. While I agree that apps have issues, I don't use them for that. I want something much more specific, and while I enjoy and see the point of a community process, the chance of finding someone this way, is very hit…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 11:39 AM
5

There are many issues with online dating. I am sapio, and enjoy deep conversations, self-awareness and relational growth. Though online, I have written and filtered for people who have explicitly stated they care about these things, only mostly getting crickest on my messages. In real life though, connection much easier. Join some sort of regular event, people sort me out, interact with me and don't ghost or avoid me. Filtering is good, but I believe when you meet someone, there are many small i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:01 AM
1

I definitely believe there is something to your point. The default to 'blaming' and protecting our ego/identity runs really deep, and it creates a lot of distortions and disconnection. Finding equals is the best, where the intentions and the goals align, and so you can work on improving the process, communication, emotional/rational literacy and capacity or yes, clean, instead of blaming lack of energy, skill and/or ability on a partner doing their best within their capacity.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:41 PM
1

Hi there, Read your whole argument. I can only speak for myself, but while I don't see it as my responsibility, being prosocial is about taking accountability for things that isn't 'my responsibility' and simply make things better overall. In every romantic/sexual relationship I've had, I've tried my best, never been sexually violent, and done serious closure work so as to close the chapter fully on the relationship. So there aren't a lot of issues that pollute the next connection they might pur…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 07:55 AM
2

Only wanted to comment that I liked to read this, and glad you found each other. Glad she treated you right, and it is honestly nice to just hear that once in a while. Also, as someone who has gone no-contact from my parents, I chose someone who did the same, and that can work too. When you don't have 'parents', the best option is to work through that and grow up together. As it is a choice around following awful values, or stopping the ship dead in the swamp, and pulling it back towards the sea…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 07:00 PM
1

Hi there saraimarsena, just wanted to comment that I am happy on your behalf, and good on you for making your move with conviction and intentionality. And also, appreciated you sharing the progress for you in more detail, even when I assume it can't have been easy to experience. The most valuable paragraph to me was the experience you shared when you left during a make out. That was incredibly beautiful, as I have had to learn about boundaries a lot myself, and giving someone the possibility to …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:54 PM
3

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jOKZc3pu4Tw Gabor Maté says it well, when he talks relationships - paraphrasing here: "it will trigger every unhappiness you had growing up, and a relationship is about 'growing up together'." Meaning that for a long-term satisfying relationship, going into it with the mindset that it will be really bumpy, helps you search for someone who is able to deal with You, and You with them, as you maneuver everything. And that includes dealing with their inner child, and y…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 12:29 AM
1

Yeah, but that whole script is just plain stupid by design. An endless fight is moronic, to such a degree that beyond a certain threshold of self-awareness and intelligence, partaking unintentionally becomes impossible. No way in hell I'm supporting that premise. Thanks for the answer nevertheless. Taking the metaphysics further here is a bit mismatched, but thanks for the reply.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 08:03 PM
0

No, I'm not talking about morally wrong, I am talking about morally neutral. You are making the claim that the information is neutral, and I dispute that. Well, why do you want to attract women, appear confident and not end up in the friendzone? And why is the solution red pill information, and not something else? Didn't you seek out the information Specifically to Fix a Problem that you had already defined?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 07:48 PM
0

Yes, my point exactly - the information isn't neutral Because it can't be used in a neutral way. Moreover, the information was also procured with a specific intention in mind - again Not neutral. By your logic, any information is neutral. Why not share your personal information, your most private thoughts and feelings, judgments and every choice you have ever made? It is just information, as you say. Choosing to 'make use of power' is not a neutral act, neither is 'simply' going with the status …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 07:21 PM
0

Easy. Just say how you have used said information, and you have your answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 04:06 PM
2

I appreciated reading this. Too detailed to be hidden way down in the 'more answers' list, so wanted to give it a reply. I grew up with a narcissist and an enabler, and while I vehemently disagree with their behaviours, intentions and how they treated me - saying that sociopathy is corrupting and worsening everything about modernity - is a view I see a lot of places. It is common, but I haven't really seen anyone point out that dark triad people are still normal humans. It might be a rather blea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 03:34 PM
-1

Yes, but your differentiation doesn't mean much if RP has a clear worldview, that of and by itself, carries clear motivations and intentions. Making any statement about human interactions, carries moral implications. And so RP becomes an ideology, albeit one that influences the individual directly without the need for a church, a congregation or political action. Being influenced and acting according to a certain worldview, has far reaching consequences. Focusing on the 'literal intentions of rp…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 03:12 PM
2

I am of a slightly different mind about this. It isn't that women don't understand deductive reasoning; they do. It is that many of them disagree with not only the premise, but the whole framing, as well as all the consecutive arguments that follow. The men and women that agree with and focus on red pill talking points, and put a massive amount of value on attraction, specific gender norms, status and sexuality - Are not the same men and women that put less value on attraction, status, specific …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 08:39 PM
4

In my relationship with my partner (F), we have had a lot of issues with the thinking vs feeling dichotomy. - We have taken 50/50 serious when it has come to emotions, and when we started out we stumbled upon various problems. I remember feeling that I wasn't welcome into the 'female, emotional' space, and it actually took a while before she was comfortable hearing my emotions. It was also really hard for me to understand that she was so 'emotional', because she also felt and handled my emotions…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 04:31 AM
–

Hi there SomeSugondeseGuy, I don't know what helps to hear, but yeah, I am supporting you on this one. Know from my own childhood how painful and damaging it is to experience traumatic boundary violations from women. Am learning to be more attentive to my emotional self again, and it has helped to find women that try their best to take accountability, and are willing to listen when I point out that I'm not feeling safe. I believe that clearly defining and also requesting a better standard, is so…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:40 PM
1

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my comment. Egypt is a good example, one I was not familiar with. Looking at the past with modern eyes, often means we are missing out on how it looked to women and men then. Yes, I am not dismissing the point of your OP just because one metaphor is a bit crisp. And I see your point about adding perspective. What we tend to forget, is that we are also history. Not only DNA, but all the various historical, cultural and technological choices made …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:40 AM
2

What I don't like about your framing, is the indirect infantilisation of women (Saturn's son) and also that it paints the joint survival of humans as an endeavor that men directed. I mean, didn't we all simply face the horrors and difficulties of living, seperated into two different genders, forced into dissimilar roles not due to reflective consideration, but immediate survivalist needs? I can agree that women and men often struggle to understand each other. Also that our different roles- and g…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 11:28 PM
2

It also helps in dismantling some of the beliefs I have as a man that put women both on a pedestal and below me, and yes helps me be less focused on the Sexual part, and more attuned to values. I have felt a lot of infatuation growing up, and maybe it is sort of a subconscious compensation for having to pursue. My partner told me that I thought I was a seven when we met, not a six. It's like I am so afraid of being 'demanding' in the emotional feminine way, that interactions become too onesided.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 02:20 PM
1

Reading your comment made me think "You sound like a perceptive and thoughtful friend to have" It is hard to train our 'eyes', but what has made it easier for me, is to be more curious about women in general, and aim for having good, friendly non-sexual, non-flirty interactions with women. It has sort of been an antidote to the hypersexualization, and the extremely limiting ways I have been taught to deal with women. It has been healing for myself to have more friendly and neutral interactions w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:11 AM
–

Aww, I'm glad my inner drill sergeant was supportive to you. I appreciate it a lot that you told me about what it meant to me. That is really valuable to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 02:43 PM
1

Hi there OP. I agree with your conclusion, and I expect debate and openness even when there is a massive gulf in lived experience and viewpoints - unless the OP is only trolling or arguing in bad faith, which didn't seem like the case to me. It is a bleak viewpoint, but I still wanted to understand where his reasoning is coming from. I did ask a question to both you and the OP on that post, though it probably got drowned out by the hundreds of other messages. And maybe this will too. My view is …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:33 AM
2

I am wondering about something, that might seem obvious. Since u/psych0ticmonk and OP u/DrunkOnRamen are the two that seem closest to the subject, I'm mentioning you here for attention. Issue - casual sex - fixing a problem. What I can relate to, is the difference between having no experience with sex or relationships, and learning a bunch from my first relationship. And I can relate to sex/intimacy, within the context of serious dating/relationship, meeting many needs. Touch, fun, playfulness, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 01:13 AM
1

So more in the sense that if you are first going to use research, and build a knowledge database, it will help you stay more grounded and to not get duped by simple mistakes and erroneous interpretations? Is there science that goes around here you would have liked for people to take an extra look at, so it doesn't get spun into something completely different from what it truly is?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:22 PM
1

My point is not that it is impossible to self-soothe, my point is more that to get to that point, you need other people. If you grow up with wild animals, you won't learn to talk, to think or to really understand yourself. We depend on mirroring and input to grow. It might be a bit of an abstract point, but in a way it checks out to me; that the more positive we have, from the past, and from our present, the easier it is to do good for oneself. Self-soothing, and self-love, is a skill I came to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:17 PM
1

Hi there chalk and apples, PPD has definitely helped in tuning in to these subtle influences I was rather suprised to learn that play a role in my relationship. And so there have been local updates to my worldview at least. It makes sense to me that you apply your own experiences with changing your mind to PPD, and that sound like a mindset of endurance and patience. More about incremental change over time? Does that mean that your connections with men offline aren't as oppositional, or more tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:00 PM
1

You are the only person I have replied to on this post that has mentioned sources and data. Mostly I base my understandings on personal experience, inner reflection and collecting data from conversations online, offline as well as general trends people agree on. I probably use science in a way you would disagree with, and view as too uneducated. Though honestly, I don't really mind someone wanting rigor and meticulousness when it comes to data and research. As far as I know, confirmation bias ap…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:39 AM
1

Yeah, your example about the flowers is both hillarious and sad. Of course you would be mad. I hear that as you wanting your conversation partners to discuss with you in good faith, even when your experience doesn't fit some curated average. As well as respect you and treat you like an equal. Is that accurate? Do you mind me asking how differently those two differing responses feel to you, from the great to the poor discussion? I guess I ask because even when I have always loved my partner dearl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:26 AM
1

Hi ouishi, This is a reply I have some trouble empatizing with, because I don't really understand how it is possible to love onself without first having been loved by someone else. Yes, it is possible to have troubles internalizing external validation, and that is an issue.. So, I am.hoping you could elaborate a bit on your view, because as it stands now I either disagree a lot, or possibly not at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:07 AM
2

Thanks for the reply, and I see that as a valid reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:55 AM
2

Likewise! You are welcome to reach out to me as well - our roles can reverse as well, as I would gladly offer a listening ear back. We are celebrating you making this positive impact on our lives ;) I do feel like this post has helped me achieve something I wanted, namely to contribute with more compassion here on this sub. It is a great boon to meet someone who shares that value to this degree; and hopefully some people have felt seen. I am rather open to new perspectives, so look forward to a …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:29 AM
2

I’m sorry to hear that you have had to endure that abuse from someone who is expected to be your biggest supporter. I have a narcissistic female relative too and I don’t think anyone really understands how psychologically damaging they can be to others. I’m glad she has not been able to completely destroy your faith in there being “good” still in this world. ❤️ Wow, thank you. You hit the nail on its head. Despite the damage done to me, it has always felt easier and more 'socially accepted' to h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:08 AM
1

Nice to hear. Getting a new perspective is a boon, even when it is also a challenge to get there. If you have an example of a productive debate on here, readily available, I'd be happy to take a look.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:21 PM
2

I haven't been to those two, but maybe I will take a look when I am not trying to reply to all these comments. So treat you more as an individual, with your own opinions and viewpoints - not all of them similar to whatever version of All Women some men is debating with. That sounds doable, and speaking of a breath of fresh air; being open to agree with grace and maturity, as well as a willingness to reflect, is definitely that to me. Happy you wrote this comment, and if I come across something y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:18 PM
2

Yeah, I realized that after writing the post and reading some of the comments, that the reason for people to join might be more down-to earth, and not that idealistic. Does that mean you are mostly happy with the sub, since you don't expect much?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:10 PM
1

I think it was funny too. I agree, especially if those are our only sources. I assume that means that you see PPD as a better place get information and to talk/argue than tiktok or instagram. Is it easier offline for you to get insights into what men think than online?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:08 PM
1

So in the service of what you see as the greater good for society, is how I see that. Though I'm not sure if you have really answered my question, or maybe you have. Is it just that you can't fathom a different response from men here than the one you already get? Because don't you want something different?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:04 PM
1

*"I am curious about why you want to know what men say" - because the fact that they don't say it doesn't mean they don't think like that and don't act on those beliefs. I want to know who i can come across irl, I want to know signs to identify who i'm dealing with etc.* I see, that makes sense. So to draw the connection between what is said here, and how these beliefs show up irl. *"I have experienced both - women that don't take responsibility, and men that don't take responsibility. To the po…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:54 PM
2

Yeah, kind isn't the right word. What about caring? Yes, I agree. These dynamics are powerful, and as far as I know we tend to replay childhood dynamics, and parental dynamics, with our partners. Being aware of it, and accepting of it, naming it and noticing it - helps a bunch in making it conscious, and something we can engage with more actively. I feel really touched reading your last paragraph. It is absolutely beautiful, and I am thankful for the words and the intent, and for knowing you bri…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:28 PM
1

I do value chosen family, over blood ties, since my connections with the latter were terrible. And so I guess I am a bit more attentive to the people around me, and forging bonds out in the world is more of a necessity, than something I can allow myself to just pass on. And I care a lot about values, like cooperation, sincerity, honesty and integrity, when it comes to relationships and communication in general. Though I guess what you are saying is that you get those needs met elsewhere. Though …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:19 PM
0

That is very kind of you, to bring NFL tackle techniques to the PPD field. :) While I can definitely see the damage my "mother" has wrought, growing up means being responsible, even for the things that aren't my "fault". That is the only surefire way I know to feel more general agency in life. Though it takes time to gain the courage to take responsibility, and I am happy for the support I got along the way. And so, your stated goal is something I truly appreciate. Not only can we support, love …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:54 PM
1

Hi Slipthe *Lust, Thrust, Bust and Dust* so you are looking at the world, yourself and the topics here more through a System Lens - analyzing and figuring out how things influence each other? Another commenter mentioned how many are here "to win", which checks out with you saying people treat it as a team sport. I see me and partner's relationship in the bigger picture, how the various slip-streams from culture, history, evolution etc. influence us. Making this conscious is a big part of what is…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:43 PM
0

Hi there jorts-enthusiast, I mean, your flair literally says "Evil Blue Pill Woman"... :) That sounds fair, that you dish it out and receive it in equal measures. It sounds healthy to relieve the pressure and help people pause before they jump to the most intense of conclusions. When/why did you decide that this something you wanted to contribute with on here, if I may ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:28 PM
1

Good faith is a great foundation for constructive conversations and debate in general, and I am glad you want to see more of it here. Hm, is there something that could help, regardless of whether some users derail a conversation? For example, would it feel helpful and generally positive to you if even one man acknowledged and interacted with a good point/topic made by a woman? I care about sex in the sense that it is such a painful topic, for both my partner and myself - that bringing resolution…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:23 PM
1

Hi there Lemon gecko, Besides learning to argue and using the same logic as your opponent, I am curious about why you want to know what men say when there is no social pressure and they don't "try to get in your pants". Awareness, reflection and constructive conversation. Do you mean just in general, or is there a specific topic where you'd like to have a breakthrough in the whole debate itself? Hm. I have experienced both - women that don't take responsibility, and men that don't take responsib…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 06:33 PM
1

Ok, "long for" is a bit much, I'll admit that. When you say that most of your interactions on PPD have been positive, despite the threats, that is not what I expected. It isn't outside my range of possibilities, and more than anything it makes me curious about your experiences and viewpoints. Because I assume you are aware, that many women don't want to be in spaces where they receive either of those. I like sincerity a lot, and realizing it isn't appreciated on the internet as much, is very sad…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 05:14 PM
1

Soldier! Ready up! Look alive! Is the goal to become more stoic, or is there a bigger master plan you are aiming for? Regardless, I wish you all the best in your training. *Small, evil tug of the mouth*: Though honestly! You need a Man to fix your issues, cause Women struggle hard with anxiety on their own! You coming here for Male support, by being close to Men, Is a Cope! - GIVE ME ANOTHER 10 MINUTES OF DYSPHORIC READING AND A COMMENT TO PROVE YOU A STILL STRESSED OUT! NB: Sorry for the stupid…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 04:43 PM
1

Hi there Chad's mom, that is great to hear, and that you can both hear each other's perspective and learn something new, despite not expecting 100% understanding - is something that I'll use to be more patient with some of these posts, to see if I can find the pockets of mutual understanding you have co-created. I would say I have, at least partly, been responsible for this attitude. Not on PPD, but in life in general. Even though it isn't great, I see it in connection with growing up with a "mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 04:31 PM
2

In my class growing up, some of the guys were sexually harassing a female school-mate. She didn't like it, at all. Sadly, I and other students did tell the teachers about it - but they didn't take it seriously. And also, our main teacher took me and her outside class to talk about it (because I was insistent) and when I said some of the things that happened, she flat out denied everything. I remember my head go numb at that moment, and I had no idea what to say. That was sort of the end of it. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 03:44 PM
2

That is sort of bleak, but also understandable. Does that mean that you call out misogyny/sexism to steer men trying to win in a better direction? Or is it for other women, the wider society or for some other reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 03:09 PM
1

I would say that I generally agree with your point, though I still prefer to say that the dating dynamic of feminine+masculine is general, and not limited to gender. Though I also assume you are correct about the general trend. Gender norms are generalizations, as well as simplifications. And so I agree with your point about selecting what works, and discarding what doesn't. These traits are probably there to stay, though I'd like to add that we exist on a spectrum on these traits. We are both m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:08 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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