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Luna320 Archive

View 1 posts and 2,250 comments by Luna320 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

CMVLuna320/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 07:47 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,250 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

True, long as the couple is in agreement about it I don’t care lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 11:55 PM
3

Lol you really think so. Seems like OP is showing us an example of a very uncommon marriage since you obviously need a certain amount to even entertain thoughts like that. Many women do not want kids so that argument wouldn’t apply to them anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 08:00 PM
2

That thought never crossed my mind and seriously just reminds me of a performance review for a job. Feel like that’s kind of weird if that’s suppose to be your partner. That’s just my personal feelings though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 07:52 PM
4

Receive year end performance bonuses from their husbands wtf lmao I’m sure more would aspire to it if it was available but I have no idea at what rates. Personally believe it wouldn’t become the majority but I can also say no I wouldn’t want that life lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 07:02 PM
1

That’s true, I’m in Canada so I’m apart of that lmao but I’m also aware that it happens elsewhere
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 05:05 PM
3

Yeah I’ve heard of similar stories elsewhere, it’s weird to me that people think it just happens in North America I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 03:40 PM
2

It happens outside of US and Canada as well..
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:41 PM
1

Most of the women I know that are super into makeup don’t hold the belief that men should pay because of the amount of makeup they use or something lol. I actually hadn’t seen that until I saw it online so I can be thankful it doesn’t seem super common around me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:33 PM
1

Haha I’m sure if I asked my sister she’d just give me a blank look. She’s been collecting makeup since early teens so she probably has no idea how much she’s spent over the years and how much she currently has. Definitely can be, some people get really into it. Even though I don’t personally like wearing makeup unless it’s like once in a blue moon lol so I still enjoy watching people do their makeup on YouTube. It’s often a hobby that brings them a lot of joy and let’s them be creative. People d…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:16 PM
1

Yeah I know, I’ve never been one for makeup other than just a handful of times but I often went shopping in highschool with friends when they needed makeup. Drug store makeup is known to be on the cheaper end but even nowadays over 5$ seems quite common. Ooof for limited edition things I’ve seen them sell for hundreds. High end makeup I’ve seen is super common for things to be like 60$ and up. It is insane. Ingredients and supply and demand will do that though haha Lol I totally get that. My mom…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:01 PM
2

Lmao I may agree with some points but I’m good with not being a Pick Me again, have no problem if you do, just not for me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:51 PM
1

Exactly. Didn’t mean to imply it wasn’t important for protection against wild animals, it was just much more common to work together. Like the phrase hunting party, group of men work together to hunt down an animal.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:50 PM
2

Shocked to see I agree with you on some points, what’d you do with gimpgirl lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:44 PM
1

Well do you really believe that’s the one and only reason? I certainly don’t think so but I understand if you do
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:38 PM
1

Just so you know, I’m not into makeup but where I am 4-6$ normally is cheap dollar store quality makeup. Low end makeup is commonly over 10$, you have to go the cheapest to find things under that. I would say average prices for things would probably be 10-15$ I would guess but as the other said, it can be extremely expensive depending on your tastes. Basically everything is expensive now a days lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:36 PM
1

Lol when did I ever say there wasn’t the largest and toughest involved. Simply mentioned tribes protection
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:20 PM
1

God damn that’s nasty. Have noticed people who are very open about them being fucking creeps. Haven’t noticed that particular smell myself but I’m really not that surprised that’s fucking disgusting though
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:19 PM
1

Lmao makes sense but would most likely just add to the cycle of people shaming others lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:16 PM
7

Cheaters justify themselves however they can
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 05:24 AM
0

I haven’t come across something like that and it is a tricky subject because it is lying by omission. I agree with your points that it can be incredibly helpful if someone ends up in a situation where they do need to leave. I personally agree with 50/50 split in general but know not everyone agrees. The term “get-out” bank account rubs me the wrong way. I think a private personal emergency bank account could be beneficial. I feel like it could be a good idea for everyone to implement. When you e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 05:22 AM
1

Normally it was a team effort to protect the tribe but it’s often forgotten
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 05:08 AM
1

Lol did you not see the sources for the study I linked. Also my original link only had sources to elitesingles NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Premium dating site EliteSingles asked 300,000 Americans one simple yet hotly debated question: when a man and a woman are on a first date, who should pay? The answer? Men. That is, according to men. Less than half of women agree… Link was for business wire.. which led to the second link you provided. That said the sources were anon users of the site
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:43 AM
1

Don’t know what your talking about either. Bottom of your second link EliteSingles Study, August 2019 Sources: Source: Anonymous data from 300,000 men and women registered with www. elitesingles. com Data based on answers to the question ‘who should pay for the first date?’ Data used cannot be traced back to the original user. Edit: elitesingles links all go back to advice columns on the website. They do not source another study
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:14 AM
1

So your taking information from outdated sources.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:13 AM
1

The link I sent you literally has a link at the beginning to the second source you sent me lol which directly disproves what your trying to say lol A new study from EliteSingles has revealed that it’s time to rethink the stereotype that women want men to pay for the first date. In fact, the study of 300,000 singles shows that it's actually men who are more likely to think that men should foot the bill. 63% of men believe it is the man’s job to pay on a first date. Less than half of women (46%) a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:04 AM
1

Okay first source has outdated sources aswell. Lever, J., Frederick, D. & Hertz, R., 2015, Who Pays for Dates? Following Versus Challenging Gender Norms, Accessed at https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244015613107 England, P., Bearak, J., 2013, Is there a war of the sexes in college? Gender, meanings, and casual sex, Accessed at http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.394.9292&rep=rep1&type=pdf Lamont, E., 2014, Is there a war of the sexes in college? Gender, mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 02:03 AM
1

https://savvytokyo.com/economics-dating-in-japan/ Japan is certainly not in the west and men pay for dates there too https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20190808005518/en/New-Study-by-EliteSingles-Who-Should-Really-Pay-on-a-First-Date Would you mind providing stats to back up most North American women want men paying for dates?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:15 AM
1

Looking up North American dating culture I find Generally, American dating culture tends to place an official “dating” label on activities with interested parties more often than European cultures. If you plan an outing with someone in America, you will more than likely state if it is a formal date or a casual dinner between two friends. That makes a lot of sense to me, rather than using restaurants as a qualifier
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:08 AM
1

Lol lots of shit goings down in small towns. If it is a big date yes if they really are out in the middle of nowhere they’ll drive out for a restaurant. You talk about the main aspects of dating culture but I wouldn’t say the main aspect of North American dating is going to a restaurant. Even in an average sized city restaurant dates are common but they are not the main thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 01:06 AM
1

Do you really think the dating culture is so different in isolated areas within North America? Yes and like I said, those sources provide one aspect of the dating culture there, that is not a lot of information to go on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:48 AM
12

I’ve never heard of that being a stereotype of men. That’s literally just unhygienic people lol. There a bunch of stats released as to how many people skipped washing hands when quarantine started. Way too high but it’s not just men lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:44 AM
1

Okay, then refuse the date and stop complaining lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:41 AM
1

Now I’m confused you were talking about dating cultures different from the ones in America and now you say not in the middle of no where. That’s very vague and subjective. Is that in the desert? The mountains? Where would that be
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:41 AM
2

I understand but do you remember the aids panic? How everyone assumed it was due to gay men and spread alot of hate. People don’t report to avoid that hate. That’s what I meant by stigma. We have become more tolerant of those with STDs because we have a better understanding. Due to that it is not as hostile as it used to be so it’s safer to report it. That’s mostly what I mean, it’s next to impossible to next. Especially since I referenced the Victorian Era (since that first popped into my head)…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:39 AM
2

This sub has ruined me lmao. Thanks obviously missed the sarcasm lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:31 AM
1

In the Japan section it even mentions how it’s not as common nowadays for their matchmaking but they provide that example. Even if people hold old traditions, alot of the world is moving away from those
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:30 AM
1

You gave examples of one aspect of dating culture. Could you really describe all of America’s dating culture in such a compact explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:28 AM
1

Lol when did I every say otherwise? I’ve literally been talking about men refusing to accept those dates from the start if they don’t want to lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:25 AM
1

Either way as the other commenter said you didn’t prove anything against what he was sayings. Men may not be expected to pay in other countries but there is still courtship like he said. Also apparently Europe and US are the only ones with theses customs when I can think of others that are similar
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:24 AM
2

A stat for unreported cases? Sure let me pull it out of my ass
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:14 AM
1

So your providing examples with unproven stats? How do we know how well the rest is proven if there are no sources provided?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:13 AM
1

Lol she says therapy is needed if your traumatized by being used for a free meal. Funny how men say other women make it your problem but refuse to acknowledge when men make it more difficult for others. I could use her example for someone with an ex that cheated. Do you think the current partner should be punished because the ex cheated?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:10 AM
0

I’ve heard many definitions of it, I generally agree with those who are in the profession and know
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:08 AM
1

Yeah they have to think pretty highly if they believe they know better than someone in the profession lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:07 AM
1

I love how one of your links disputes your claims that most American women expect first dates to be paid for Most Americans meet in bars, clubs, dating apps and is not necessarily with the intent to get serious asap but more for fun. So the couple will go out a few times (a bigger percentage of first dates don’t follow the traditional approach of who invites is the one that pays and the couple tends to go dutch - meaning split the bill) .
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:06 AM
1

That’s the most hilarious part. Even as someone who’s never been interested in sex I’m aware of that lol Edit casual sex lmfao!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:56 PM
1

Oh my, lol that is not common thinking at all
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:48 PM
1

Most women I know around me don’t expect men to pay, most often see it on the internet. Not naive to think a lot of women expect so but it doesn’t seem as common as some make it out to be
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:47 PM
1

Your talking to someone who prefers splitting on dates but it is a personal choice for those involved. You have no say over what people decide to do
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:35 PM
1

That’s up for the individuals on the date to decide, not you
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:33 PM
1

Not all women
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:30 PM
1

Definitely a way to stand out from the crowd lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:29 PM
4

Generally those resolve around women being shamed. Women’s nipples should be covered but men can be shirtless. There’s the assumption a woman has to wear sexy underwear or she’s some prude. Women are told they are disgusting if they don’t shave. The point is to stop the shame in my opinion. Even if most women don’t want to walk around with nipples slightly visible, or wear big comfortable underwear and be free to not to shave without ridicule if should still be allowed just as men are allowed to…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:21 PM
1

Yeah, they can be persistent at times and I think that is a good way to put it, gotta have some plausible deniability your hitting on someone you shouldn’t be
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:10 PM
3

Honestly I have no idea, I’ve heard that a lot too which is sick. I think with high schoolers they tend to be more quiet and not as confrontational, especially in the workplace since they are generally new. Definitely had to help a lot of young girls when I was working but my workplace was mostly female as well. I specifically remember one co-op student after I graduated because she was even more shy than I was and she had a really difficult time. I tried my best to help her but the work environ…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 10:41 PM
3

Definitely noticed older generations more but I also worked at a retail store where the main clientele was elderly people. Definitely an eye opener working there seven years, started in high school and was often asked why I wasn’t in school at certain times once I graduated. Shows you how many people will hit on someone because they believe they are high school aged. At least I could crush their hopes a bit by telling the sick fucks I wasn’t a minor anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 10:28 PM
4

I can say I was complimented starting at 12 from grown men. It wasn’t a small town either. Unfortunately it’s seems pretty common
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:51 PM
6

Lol you think women owe you sex because they insist you pay for a date. It’s obvious when you compare it to prostitution and one not holding up the end of their bargain so no I definitely don’t agree with you
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:39 PM
6

Excuse me? They are knowingly going on a date. That is all there is too it. Some women will have other expectations but for the majority, a date is to find connection like I said. Dating is normally meant to find someone to date, as in have a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:38 PM
3

Lol does not change what I said at all. You just reject going on a date with those women. Some men are happy to pay for dates, some men are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:35 PM
6

You don’t accept a date with them? Those are my standards, some people have no problem paying for the date in full and they are happy to accept. If you don’t like the terms of the date, just reject it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:30 PM
4

Lol can you really see boobs 99% of the time. Even if you could see cleavage I highly doubt it’s that high. Not around me anyway lol. Like I said I don’t think they are the best comparison. Take it up with OP
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:28 PM
4

I don’t believe anyone should insist someone pays. That’s just my opinion though and know it’s not universal. I think it should be a decision made by the both of them. Some people prefer to split it, some insist on paying themselves but I don’t agree with insisting the other party pays for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:26 PM
2

Why would I take your word for something I know is not true? You told another person to use google, I did and gave you some quotes. That is reported cases. One quotes even mentions the stigma, which results in less cases being reported. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:25 PM
6

Your complaining about women who don’t hold up their end of the bargain. I don’t believe in insisting the other pays but it is simply a first date. Normally dates are to get to know another person and see if there is a connection. I say normally because I’m well aware there are some women who go on dates just for free food.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:21 PM
13

So you equate paying for dinner with sex if you believe they are not holding up their end of the bargain, basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:15 PM
3

Have you never heard of how common STDS were and how they often treated some with mercury or other even more dangerous things? It’s actually wild to learn about One in five Londoners had syphilis by age 35 in the late 18th century, historians estimate. Syphilis was just part of the considerable venereal disease problem in 18th-century London. “A far greater number would have contracted gonorrhea or chlamydia than contracted syphilis in this period,” the historians point out. Mercury was in use b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:02 PM
12

It’s not socially acceptable to compliment a strangers breasts or dick regardless if you would enjoy the comment, not everyone does. Perhaps if complimenting strangers dicks was socially acceptable we’d be able to talk about a double standard. I’ve never heard anyone compliment a stranger on their dick while passing by. Depends on where you live as well, can only speak of what’s socially acceptable around myself. Edit: I think a better comparison is compliments for vaginas if your saying dicks a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:44 PM
1

Didn’t mean to imply they didn’t use formula from the beginning. Your point was the child’s health. I figured if there was problems most parents would switch to formula for their child’s sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:38 PM
1

Honestly I assumed if there became problems it would just result in formula use. I’m talking about the danger to the mother. Being underweight can be dangerous. Like I said I don’t know because I don’t know where her starting point was so I can’t really say much other than I hope she isn’t unhealthy and if she is, working to fix it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:25 PM
1

Looking back that she had the kid only a few months ago apparently and has already shed the baby weight and seems to be bordering on unhealthy.. I don’t want to say anything other than I hope she is in a good place. Also depends on where her starting point was though, something like that can be way more drastic for some than other
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:17 PM
1

Ah true, gym bros lol. Yeah it’s a possibility because I know it’s common to be self conscious about a post pregnancy body but I could be totally off the mark lol Long as she seems happy and doesn’t dip under too far I’m sure she’ll be fine
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:14 PM
1

Also possible she felt uncomfortable with her pregnancy body and went a tad bit over board. There’s a lot of reasons that we’ll never know unless she says lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:11 PM
1

I suppose, people often have their own perspectives of what looks healthy as well. Unless you know personal details you can’t really know for sure anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:09 PM
2

That’s the problem with guessing exact numbers. I really doubt she is as light and as tall as you say she is. Perhaps she’s using sports for a motivator to get a better health then. Either way I was just saying the woman you described did not sound physically healthy
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:05 PM
1

https://images.app.goo.gl/UNzKS8dsgYttG3Ub9 This is what I imagine generally when someone says 120 at 5’11. She’s not even that tall either she’s only 5’8
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:01 PM
2

That’s the same weight as me at 5’3. My friend around 5’8 starts looking sickly around under 130. Guessing people’s weight in number is usually way off
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:58 PM
2

Definitely, he’s assuming a woman way taller than me but with the same weight as me. I’m 5’3 at 115lbs. My friend in highschool was around 5’8 and if she was under 120 she started looking on the unhealthier side. According to google the ideal weight for a woman of that height is around 140-170 apparently
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:57 PM
4

That’s what I was thinking but wasn’t as blunt lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:51 PM
2

5’11 is tall for a woman lol. Are you guessing her weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:50 PM
2

She also gets an allowance from her mother she said previously. Seem comes from money now does porn supposidly
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:11 PM
2

Haha not surprising I’m everywhere with lmao. Denial is one hell of a thing, I definitely understand defending what your in denial about lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:10 PM
0

If you believe so, I’d suggest looking them up
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:09 PM
2

Really appreciate that, I don’t mind as much with porn addiction because of how it’s mostly very recent but sex addiction is something I’ve heard for as long as I remember. I also do realize there is still a lot of debate about it so I normally try to not focus on the that aspect and more try to just share my story. I also try not to argue it too much because I know there many like the commenter who believe because it has such a religious client base, it has to be some religious agenda. That’s i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 06:26 PM
1

Well that’s good to hear, I’ve just run across many people who people a relationship is a cure for something and I try to share to help. That is definitely understandable as well, certainly makes sense. I really hope you are able to experience a happy relationship some day
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 06:18 PM
0

Yes it is abusive for your partner to tell you what you can or can not do. That is not boundaries though, look up the difference
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 06:14 PM
1

Lol, not trying to scare you but I try to talk about realities, such as ones I’ve experienced. my main advice is don’t put too much into a relationship. I understand where a lot of people are coming from where they feel like they need a partner to fix something about them or they believe being in a romantic relationship would be a cure to be happy. That was my problem which allowed others to take advantage and allow myself to sink so low into denial it took years. As much as I hated the saying y…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 06:12 PM
2

No problem at all, has just reminded me of a few Reddit posts of people asking what they should do after a surprise proposal. It’s also alot easier to think of relationships logically before you experience them. Like logically I knew the signs of an abusive relationship, told myself I’d never allow that. Person comes along and emotions fuck you like they never had lmao. So I definitely understand the disconnect between logic and emotion until your in that moment
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 06:04 PM
1

No problem, I just know how easy it is to say how we will act in a situation we’ve never encountered. Normally relationships carry a lot of emotion, especially if you plan on proposing. Generally it’s with the expectation of yes. You may realize it’s possible no could be given but it’s like the thought of death, it can never happen to me. I agree as well there is no one way to go about discussing a marriage but I believe it should always be talked about beforehand. People break up after a surpri…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:57 PM
1

I definitely understand your train of thought but the problem is it focuses only on the logical part of it. You mentioned you haven’t had a relationship and I don’t say that to be rude but emotions can be a shitstorm in one. Just because you can rationalize something does not always mean it won’t affect you emotionally. I guess I’m saying it’s a lot easier said than done. We often overestimate ourselves in situations we’ve never experienced
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:48 PM
1

Some people hate surprises, so you’d hope it would be a surprise. Not true for everyone and that’s why people talk it out first
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:41 PM
1

Proposals do still have an element of surprise. Even if you decide on marriage and who will propose, the proposal itself it normally a surprise. The ring, location, timing is a surprise. Knowing both of you want to get married and are ready should not be a surprise but again it depends on the couple
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:39 PM
0

I’ve gone thru your replies to others. Try to back track and yes I understand your main point of why doesn’t the woman propose. Like another commenter said, it is what made them happy. When marriage discussions are had, rings, proposal and everything marriage entails needs to be talked about beforehand. I actually know a few women who proposed but it was decided within their relationship beforehand
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:36 PM
0

Yes you ask them about their feelings on marriage before jumping out with a proposal like many people have said.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:33 PM
1

You can get sexually attracted to someone your not emotionally connected to. A lot of people talk about how they see a person and wonder how sex would be with them because they find them sexually attractive, they often fantasize about them. Never understood that. The thought of having sex or being turned on by someone just by how they look does not compute lol. Demisexuals can have low or high sex drives depending on if they are in a relationship sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:31 PM
1

Your missing the point, proposing to someone without consider their thoughts and feelings do not spell for a good relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:25 PM
1

Lol just because he is attractive doesn’t change much for me. Like I said it was never anyone specific with the exceptions of when i was in a relationship, then I’d just imagine who I was with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:05 PM
0

Look up the difference between boundaries and demands
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:00 PM
2

From our past discussions doesn’t seem like that’ll do much lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:00 PM
4

Lol that is not boundaries, that’s demands/ultimatums, that is abuse. Boundaries are totally different lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 07:24 AM
3

Lol so you come to talk down to me about my views that you assumed but were not true so you decide to just ignore it. I’ll take it back, PinkPill does seem toxic if their creator feels the right to talk down to other women before you even hear what they have to say. Lmao I appreciated what you stand for and agreed with many points but being hostile doesn’t help anyone. Have fun lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:43 AM
2

That porn and sex addiction have a huge negative effect on both users and partners. Like I said I never wanted to debate this, I wanted to leave a suggestion and that was it. You can believe what you want but having lived through it and seeing so many similar and different stories I have no doubt in it. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:28 AM
1

Not all of them are completely anti porn. Many share my thoughts that we have no problem with healthy porn use. Of course some have problems with any porn and move for bans. Do you honestly believe it is ever possible though? It is one of the biggest money makers and if it was banned it would just go underground. Much like the alcohol prohibition. My entire point is to spread awareness, not advocate for bans.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:19 AM
1

Is your entire problem from you assuming because I’ve been hurt by porn I want to ban it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:12 AM
1

Your comparing it to substance addictions while it is a behavioural addiction. Of course they are not like drug addictions. What’s with the use of quotations around drug addictions?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:05 AM
1

Okay. Sex addiction has been talked about for years and accepted. I can understand people not believing porn addiction because it is new and how faith based it’s pushed. Again I will say one more time. I gave a suggestion take it or leave. Have a good day Edit: There is Sex Addicts Anonymous, obviously there is a problem for people
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 03:39 AM
1

Like I said in my edit, did you even read the quotes? They mentioned addictive behaviour not being classified as an addiction. Again I was just suggesting something.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 03:31 AM
1

Either way like I said I was just suggesting something, I wasn’t looking to start a debate over it. You are free to take my suggestion or not, have a good day
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 03:13 AM
1

Like I said I did google it, first result I found was what I quoted then this https://www.fortbehavioral.com/addiction-recovery-blog/anorexia-nervosa-harmful-and-deadly-addictive-behavior/ Edit: I also never said it was an addiction, did you read the quotes, they mentioned addictive behaviour. Edit: There is normally more to porn addiction than just the compulsions aspect as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 03:08 AM
1

I gave answers from what I looked up. I didn’t pull it from my brain. If you would mind providing quotes otherwise I’d be happy to consider so
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 03:04 AM
1

Eating disorders are classified as addictive behaviors that are linked to underlying mental health conditions. Anorexia is a severe psychiatric disorder characterized by unrelenting self-starvation and life-threatening weight loss. An addictive behavior is a behavior, or a stimulus related to a behavior (e.g., sex or food), that is both rewarding and reinforcing, and is associated with the development of an addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 02:59 AM
2

Was simply suggesting you listen to those with experiences who don’t believe in faith or religion. I’ve seen many in the past looking for specific non faith based groups. It’s common for people dealing with all types of addictions to turn to religion for some hope. Either way I understand your stance, was just making a suggestion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 01:14 AM
1

I can understand that, I don’t often see religion mentioned on the sub pornaddiction. I saw it more on like pornfree and nofap which is generally why I don’t suggest them. A lot of people have religious views, I’m not religious myself so I try not to look at them. I just know of porn addicts who have no interest in religion
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 01:04 AM
2

I’d suggest looking into personal experiences of those who struggle with it. One place I know of is the sub pornaddiction but there are other support groups elsewhere. I understand your stance, I just find it’s normally best to read first hand accounts
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 01:00 AM
2

Lmfao people seem to have a lot of problems with other people’s boundaries in relationships lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:16 PM
2

I’d look into it before just shooting off opinions, it’s actually interesting to think about. Popular culture has done us a great disservice in our understanding of romantic love. From a young age, we watch movies and read books that form the scripts of our adult relationships. But popular culture usually gets it wrong, and ends up confusing love with limerence. Some call limerence infatuation, lovesickness, or romantic love, while others relate it to love addiction. Some have humorously called …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:49 PM
2

Honestly no idea because that is often attributed to love addiction. Very new and often mostly studied in women. So at the moment it does seem women are more likely but it is new as I said, hopefully it will continue into the future
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:35 PM
1

Yes I was talking about them as a whole, including the commenters who can sometimes be toxic. I also meant more in the fact of people who are uncomfortable with porn, which they have every right to, sometimes confuse what a porn addiction entails. In that regard it spreads toxicity because then people don’t believe and call bullshit that I’ve dated a porn addict because they believe I just don’t like them watching porn. That’s boundaries in a relationship. I understand it, but it starts blurring…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:11 PM
6

Your projecting what you find attractive onto every man.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:57 PM
4

I’d appreciate it if you’d take a look at my comment where I talk about how I was in a relationship with a porn and sex addict. I never referred to that particular part of it being toxic. Both have good and bad parts but they are both obviously known as toxic on PPD. You don’t know my stance at all and your coming to attack me. I think women just putting up with porn for the mans sake is toxic, it’s hurtful for women. Not to mention it’s not limited to women, men do the same at times. Cheers to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:29 PM
5

If you take notice there are many who don’t agree with FDS, I’ve been here for only about a month and I’ve noticed other women mention so. I agree with parts of it but it’s so toxic at times it’s painful sometimes lol I normally avoid it all together
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:24 PM
2

From looking at support subs and groups it seems like the feelings can be very similar in all the experiences depending on the individuals and the circumstances. When it comes to porn it can feel like they are seeking intimacy with someone else. In my experience and in some I’ve seen it’s normal for an addict to mostly express their intimacy through sex. So if majority of intimacy is taken away and given to someone else, even digital it can still be just as painful. We had more fights over cheat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:18 PM
2

He did need therapy but he believed it was a scam that wasn’t as helpful as people say because he went as a teen but he didn’t choose so he didn’t get anything out of it. I appreciate that, it took a long time and wasn’t easy but I realized he could only help himself, I couldn’t help him in the ways I wanted to
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:04 PM
2

I don’t deny that but as I said porn addiction can escalate in sex addiction and it seems common from what I’ve seen from support groups. I didn’t want to touch on the porn too much because he watched a lot of things that a lot of people wouldn’t be comfortable with. He had to escalate how extreme the porn he was watching and it led to him watching a lot of things he didn’t like. Apologies I should have touched on the porn addiction more, I am aware the cheating had a bigger effect on me so I of…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:02 PM
3

Lol funny how people are so defensive and angry about porn addiction, claiming it doesn’t exist but my comment laying out an experience with a porn and sex addict is completely ignored. I suspected as much lmao Edit: lmao you can downvote me all you want but what I said was true
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:39 PM
1

If you believe so, some people are just like that though
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:28 PM
2

Yep. Some people mistake the feeling of limerence for love and when the first joys of dating wears off, they think the love is gone so they move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:23 PM
0

Lol have you never met a happily married busy body?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:19 PM
1

Both of those places are known for toxicity though. It’s not surprised they have strict lines on porn usage since they often have strict ideas on other things
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:59 PM
4

That just adds to the notion that is all porn addiction entails. You mention FDS which is common place for toxicity, I’d be surprised if they didn’t skew the term porn addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:57 PM
2

It was in the context of an abusive relationship and I hold no issue with admitting my own failures and being toxic as well. I definitely agree some people do that though, taking responsibility isn’t easy. As I said elsewhere, the abuser is responsible for the abuse, both are responsible for entering the relationship. Choices come with responsibility
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:40 PM
1

Yeah I can understand that, unfortunately during that time neither of us had friends because we were both toxic during that relationship. He didn’t like me hanging out with others and we both always had a hard time socializing. So he didn’t have anyone to open up to except for myself. So I definitely understand your reasonings, most would want to hear from a mans “guy buddies”. Sadly he didn’t have any at that point
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:36 PM
1

My entire point of that comment was stereotypes. Funny how you ignore everything else and focus just on that. Again he is an example of what doesn’t fit the stereotype of a porn addict
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:30 PM
1

I never said he is like the one example of how a porn addict acts. Was simply saying he doesn’t fit the stereotype many people think of when they mention porn addicts. I didn’t talk about the amount of men affected by it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:27 PM
2

No problem I definitely understand that. I try not to add anything extra when people are just trying to learn but it makes a conversation harder. Sometimes it can be really easy to tell when someone is open to learning and doesn’t want to just shit on you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:26 PM
1

lol I’m relaying what he told me. Otherwise how I know he started watching porn at 6 and when he personally felt like when he started getting addicted. I mentioned several times we had long discussions, I stayed for a year trying to help him and we talked about it alot. Don’t mind you assuming that when a person hasn’t communicated with their partner but we did
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:24 PM
1

I also totally get just wanting to get off but being too tired to have sex at times. That’s common and shouldn’t be a problem, that shouldn’t be labeled as a porn addiction if that is all there is
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:36 PM
1

Yeah should have clarified that, have just mentioned in other comments it become a continuous issue. I try my best to talk just about porn addiction and sex addiction because that’s what I have experience with
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:34 PM
1

Lmao well you can find solace in the fact that I still text and don’t use Whatsup and things like that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:23 PM
9

Wonder how common that is. When I enjoyed porn I didn’t think of anyone specific. Disembodied penis is a hilarious way to think of it but I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:12 PM
1

Usually called sexting now lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:01 PM
2

No problem at all, try my best but sometimes I get told I’m not the best at laying my thoughts out, especially when it comes to emotional matters lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:55 PM
1

My exs porn addiction harmed me in the way of money and others. He spent money when we were already struggling to pay for rent and food to feed his addiction. Verbally abused me to earn more money. Yeah you should see the debt my ex wracked up. That is common with porn addiction and sex addiction as well. How do you think some women are making bank on onlyfans?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:53 PM
1

Ah true, I haven’t had much other experience with women who deal with porn addiction. I was on my way to it as a preteen though and it did involve a lot shame for me. Shame seems to be very common in porn addictions though, just from what I’ve seen from my ex and in support groups. I tend to avoid pornfree or anti places because it can become negative really fast
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:50 PM
3

Did you read my original comment? I tried explaining what he told me. He started watching porn round 6 and he believes the addiction started around 12. When he was fourteen he had a girlfriend continually cheat on him, he went onto dating apps to sext and then became addicted to that. He struggled with both porn and sex addiction before we got together. I didn’t know about either until five years in.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:48 PM
2

Yeah this is why I try to talk about porn addiction because I’ve seen how it’s affected me and my ex. Fetishization seems to be pretty common with porn addictions as well from what I’ve seen in support groups. It seems to go hand in hand most times. I appreciate that, it seems like he’s doing better but you sometimes you can never tell with a high functioning addict. Lol honestly that was the absolute two worst years of my life but during that I went looking for therapy and resulted in me becomi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:45 PM
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If you believe so, I was specifically talking about what my ex said was happening to him for the main part. We had a lot of long discussions.Perhaps you should look into the pornaddiction subreddit so see some insight into what they experience
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:35 PM
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Lol I’ve seen both those subs but they are not what I’m talking about when I say support groups for porn addicts and partners of Are you kidding me? The women is blamed all the time! I was told all those things and more when I talked about my exs porn addiction. People have bias and depending on it they will blame who best fits them. If you believe so. Have said numerous times I have a high sex drive in relationships and my ex turned down sex way more than I did. Your just talking stereotypes an…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:25 PM
1

Lol I understand that. I understand that thought as well, biggest thing I knew I needed to work on from the start was not becoming bitter lol. I always had much of the same mindset, not exactly looking but if I felt a connection I allowed it to grow. I realized how desperate I was for love even if I wasn’t actively looking for it which led to those relationships. Think I’ve learned more about myself in the last two years or so than I have my whole life lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:19 PM
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Addiction is normally to deal with things you don’t want to, often emotions so you go to whatever you know. For my ex it was a dopamine hit from porn and he became addicted to that. When he was insecure or feeling something he didn’t want to, he would replace those feelings with the ones he gets from his addiction. It doesn’t depend just on how many times someone masturbates to porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:14 PM
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Am really glad you’ve found that magical feeling. I’m on a break for who knows how long lol. I’m aware of how paranoid of cheating and such in relationships so I have to work on myself before I even consider one. Wouldn’t be fair to the other party
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:03 PM
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People have more respect for those who can leave a relationship than stay in one where they don’t like or don’t find their partner attractive. Also that’s generally not the case. I said elsewhere there are many support groups of partners of porn and sex addicts. It is a large variety of people who look different. Age is certainly not a factor, it actually seems just as common for couples that are in their twenties. It’s common to have stereotypes, this is just another one Edit: not the case as i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:01 PM
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Appreciate that, hasn’t been too long since that relationship but was probably one of the biggest lessons I had in life and has helped me in ways I’d hadn’t expected
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:55 PM
–

Why are you with them if you think they are ugly and old?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:53 PM
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Congrats, those stats have no relevancy here, I didn’t cheat. I am curious on your thoughts though, drug addictions are of course different but what is so different between gambling and porn addiction? Lots of gamblers never leave their house nowadays and just play online at home
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:52 PM
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Lol because I was insecure clown myself. That was my second relationship and the first one was emotionally abusive as well. I didn’t have a good understanding of what healthy relationships was. Both my exs could be emotionally abusive but the second one with the porn addiction was a lot better at being sneaky about shit. I was in a shitty point in life though and I brushed off a lot of red flags as the relationship progressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:48 PM
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I acknowledged many people push for porn band with porn addiction. So you do not care to try to understand my experience. I talk about porn addiction all the time because my ex was affected by a porn addiction that escalated to a sex addiction. Have never been for banning porn though. Only idiots who ignore the alcohol prohibition, best example, think that entirely banning something would work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:45 PM
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Is your only problem with my stance is that you assume I want to ban porn?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:38 PM
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Like I said elsewhere the amount of porn does not automatically equal porn addiction. I also avoid religious groups since I’m not religious myself. I’m well aware of how is has been promoted by those who want to ban porn. I made a post bout a month ago saying I have no problem with healthy porn use and don’t want to ban porn but want to open discussions about porn addiction. Would you mind reading my experience to see what someone may experience? https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comment…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:38 PM
1

Haha yeah it seems like it, definitely will give it a watch when I can. Yeah sounds like it could be helpful for a lot of people to see it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:29 PM
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Apologies, some people don’t know of or acknowledge behavioural addictions
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:22 PM
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Porn addictions happen in long term relationships and marriages. Very likely they were attracted to their partner at one point at least. Porn can also shape how you view things. Bad at sex is the most common excuse for men excusing more porn addiction. It’s usually not the case and it is common for partners to try and embody being a porn star so perhaps there partner will like them more than porn again. You can never compete though. That just means your not addicted and haven’t had to deal with …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:21 PM
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Would be the same as any addict skipping out of things to get their fix , normally isn’t an excuse to get out of things. They feel like they need whatever they are addicted to
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:16 PM
–

There are behavioural addictions aswell
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:15 PM
2

Wow I’ve never heard of that, thanks for mentioning it. Even crazier to think it was made back in 2013. Certainly wasn’t talked about as much then
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:14 PM
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The amount of porn doesn’t always equal addiction. Prioritizing porn over your partner is the most clear sign
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:12 PM
7

I was always looking for answers once I learned about the addiction and such. Until I learned about the cheating I hadn’t seen him watch porn before, he would hide it. He was watching and talking to anything and anyone he could. Like many say porn addiction means you need to escalate the content you watch. After I learned of his cheating and admittedly became paranoid, I found the porn he watches and I wouldn’t be comfortable talking about it. Basically anything extreme he was looking at. Same w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:03 PM
3

He said he was in the mood for porn instead of sex. He didn’t want to talk to deeply on that specific aspect, he felt a lot of shame so he tried brushing off a lot. I wish I had gotten a better answer but I get it Edit : to clarify using porn when tired is fine, it’s when it becomes excessive. Like I said I wish I had a better answer than the short one he gave
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:44 PM
3

The doesn’t refer to addiction, I shared my story with my ex in the comments. He refused sex more often and would watch porn in private, hiding it from me so even if I wanted to try and get him in the mood, I wasn’t even aware he was watching porn
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:35 PM
20

I’ve seen many stories, it depends on where you look. There’s subs dedicated to partners of porn addicts to have support. The feelings around it seem to be very similar. I can’t speak for others can I can share my own story. My ex started watching porn at 6, he says around 12 he think the addiction started growing. At fourteen his girlfriend was continually cheating on him, instead of breaking it off though he went to talk with other girls on dating apps. Within a of month of us getting together…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:26 PM
1

Not always
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:05 AM
2

Going to ignore my comment as someone in their twenties in favour of telling someone they don’t know what they find attractive yet
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:51 AM
1

That’s pretty cool, I’ve seen some videos of people walking through how they do it. Understand the basics but the amount of strength and practice it takes , also never having been on a pole it does seem super impressive lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:19 AM
1

I’ve always thought pole dancing would be fun to try, haven’t found a studio too close to me but it’s awesome your an instructor. Do you have a favourite move you do or teach?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:02 AM
1

No problem, mistakes happen, already had my fill of mistakes for today lmao. long as people realize I’m talking about both gender and don’t double down that one gender is worse or something I don’t mind lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:55 AM
2

I figured, just a pain trying keep my terms gender neutral and say people then someone always has to bring up one gender ahh. I get that though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:53 AM
-1

I’m not, just pointing out I never mentioned an amount so I don’t really see the reason in pointing out most men. I also never specified men in the first place. Toxic men and women share their thoughts online and exist offline aswell was my point really.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:47 AM
2

I understand what your saying, it can be easier to see arrogance in our own gender at times. When you throw emotions and going after the sex your attracted too, easier to miss things. Especially when your young. Men deal with arrogant women, sometimes mistaking it for confidence. Can also happen with people who are attracted to the same sex so I think it comes down to how aware someone is. Men and women all start from children and we need to learn and grow. No one knows the difference between ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:45 AM
-2

Did I ever say most of them? I just mentioned people exist online and offline so it’s not unheard of to meet someone who hold views popular on the internet. No idea the number and don’t care to even think of guessing
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:40 AM
-1

People on the internet exist in real life too though, I’ve met a couple people like the commenter described off line
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:29 AM
1

Perhaps you should look the rest of my thread where I’m the first to admit I mistook arrogance for confidence but I’ve seen men do it as well. Honestly I’m not too sure because it’s tricky, I’ve talked to men in private who have dealt with abusive relationships but don’t want to admit so for being called a pussy and such. They often believe they found someone very confident but it’s often times arrogance. So I’ll say both do it but as I only have personal experiences I won’t say who does so more…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:16 AM
1

Lol you do know how to pose and take pictures, once again better than me lmao! Lol I know that, Reddit can be a time suck way too often, have a good sleep
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:09 AM
–

I’m the whole damn salt shaker lmaoo
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:07 AM
1

If you say so. As a woman I can say I don’t find arrogance attractive. Some women will but I don’t. I’ve seen many men comment on how attractive a confident woman is
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:07 AM
2

Lol was just a joke either way. I definitely get it, can be surprising when you get positive feedback so you wanna share more lol. Some people need to relearn the golden rule of if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:03 AM
3

Well they did copy and paste the first thing that comes up on google so I’d assume they don’t understand it very well lol but that’s pretty common, normally explain it kinda often lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:01 AM
2

Not to be rude because I don’t think you meant it like this but just imagined all demisexual people just walking around thinking everyone is ugly lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 12:00 AM
1

Honestly too late for me to not mix up trying to explain it. My main point was both genders do it. Google to not fuck up ; Perhaps the most fundamental difference is that arrogance often masks insecurity. That's why arrogant people are boastful about their achievements and abilities while tending to demean others. Confidence, on the other hand, stems from true self-worth: a belief and pride in your achievements and abilities. Men and women often make the mistake because it is a small line. Depen…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:58 PM
1

Was this in the context of sexual attraction? If so apologies. Attractive can be as simple as me saying that women is beautiful, she’s very attractive, I can see that but I don’t date women. I can realize that and have preferences but just because I find someone attractive it doesn’t mean I’m sexually attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:42 PM
1

Women confuse confidence for arrogance when looking for love and dating. Men confuse arrogance for confidence when observing relationships. As I said it’s not a clear rule, it was trying to show examples of it. If you believe so, I’m not interested in arguing this point since you seem to have very set beliefs of each gender. Believe if both genders confuse those or don’t, no skin off my back
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:40 PM
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Don’t have to go after or continue going after misogynistic men to still get salty over it. Men get salty on here about a lot of things lol. Everyone gets annoyed and salty about shit lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:33 PM
0

Both genders confuse it. Women confuse it while looking for relationships, men confuse it looking at women in relationships. That’s not a clear rule either way, not to mention many are gay so a man can still confuse arrogance as being attractive in a man. Both genders do so
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:29 PM
1

As someone in their twenties I can say I find them attractive. However I will say I think all types are attractive, it’s just a matter of the individual person in those types. So I’m aware I’m in the minority but I can say men who are in the middle or a bit more balanced are attractive as well. I think every type is attractive in their own way
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:26 PM
0

Young men and women confuse them all the time. It’s not just women who confuse it
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:11 PM
3

No problem, honestly hasn’t been something I’ve discussed in a bit but I don’t mind sharing with someone who genuinely curious and looking for answers. I really appreciate that, try not to minimize it too much but I also realize some deal with even harder difficulties so that reminder can be helpful sometimes. Thanks again, try to remember how much progress I’ve made and not how much more there is lol. Happy to share mine lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:30 PM
1

Too true! It’s a learning experience for everyone. Definitely understand those who think lowly of themselves, glad you added that, I normally do but it blanked this time haha
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:24 PM
5

Happens with both sides but I can totally understand it having been through an abusive relationship. The foundation becomes denial so it’s very common to still be in denial afterwards. Honestly there is so many things that fuck with your brain in the ways of abusive relationship so I can’t really hold it against them. All I can do is hope they can grow past it because someone can only change when they want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:21 PM
2

I know I wasn’t who you were originally talking to but I had a point where I was considering starting T. I can’t speak for the other commenter but I did have a time in my life where I was presenting as masculine, wearing chest binders but I was still unsure about hormones. So like the other commenter I gravitated towards appearing more masculine. I haven’t met anyone who has experienced the same but I have a few factors I believe looking back lol. This is just for me personally but there was a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:12 PM
2

Lol I really think you should look more into kinks and fetishes if you believe that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:48 PM
2

Lol seems like a good sub for it but yeah some things are removed without the very best reason. It may fare better over there, I honestly have no idea. I was on a dating app for like two months and didn’t really like it so I deleted it lol. Generally try to avoid discussions on dating apps because it can get really negative, which I understand, lots of lonely people looking for love and well sex lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:44 PM
2

Very true, generally better to go by doctor’s recommendation and what your body feels is healthy. Do keep an eye on it though and be careful
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:42 PM
3

True, didn’t mean to imply that women don’t confuse it as well. Everyone has a choice in entering a relationship so they also share responsibility some just maybe taken more advantage of than others. I’ll be the first to admit I confused arrogance for confidence and that led to a bad relationship. Many people can’t or refuse to accept and learn from how they came to be in an abusive relationship. Even if the abuser is at fault for the abuse, there is a part of responsibility in choices. I unders…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:40 PM
2

My lord that is probably one of the best written guides I’ve seen. The advice pieces about your Tinder profile had me laughing remembering the pictures and bios I saw for the short time I was on Tinder lol. Yeah I could only imagine the comments on that, but generally I don’t think I’d disagree with anything even though I have no where near experience as you lmaoo
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:33 PM
3

Lol yeah you’d drive a lot of alt girls crazy. Just wanted to say be careful about the borderline weight. Looks have a big influence on a lot of people but being healthy is better. Just wanted to say that, I’m sure you keep track of it try to not to fall below the line, just wanted to let you know to be careful.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:25 PM
2

Your just showing off now lol Damn looks like running did help lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:20 PM
2

Lol we’re just speaking the truth. So bigger props to you for wearing probably more feminine clothing than I do lmao. That’s also just sad. I guess they can’t imagine doing it themselves so they believe your a troll? Also the term narcissist is thrown around like candy these days, really needs to stop. I can’t speak for others but hasn’t been a surprise for a long time after stumbling into BDSM and other fetishes lmao. Guess it just still surprises me people don’t believe the saying there’s a fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:18 PM
2

Lol it’s true, I understand her envy, my legs never looked that nice, especially in a skirt and stockings lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:13 PM
1

No problem! Also saw your write poetry, that’s really cool too,poor boys shaking in their boots at the thought of that in this sub lol That’s also great to hear, I don’t come across men so confidant and open about themselves so it’s a nice refresher lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:08 PM
2

Lol long as you don’t feel it wasn’t a waste, often guilty of rambling on lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:16 PM
6

There are always people who enjoy being in a power position, to others that just doesn’t seem important. There’s also a reason why I say knowingly because often times people of both genders can be manipulative at times without even realizing. I think it is something very important to be aware of. Know it’s incredibly common in high school with all its teenagers lol. Just another aspect of being human. I believe it mostly comes down to morals for both genders because both can be manipulative, whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:15 PM
1

Of course, everyone has their own ideas and perceptions of what confidence and arrogance means to them. Most times it’s just a fine line like you say. Should have mentioned that to save you so much typing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:58 PM
2

Perhaps on the streets of the 1950s. Feminine women have been swearing for a long ass time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:41 PM
2

Never said it wasn’t, I’m just wondering if that is the advice they meant to give. Commenter also said she didn’t care so she wasn’t giving out advice. If she meant that as advice yeah it shouldn’t be handed out as such
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:34 PM
18

Some people are not comfortable in a position of power. I personally wouldn’t be comfortable knowingly manipulating someone. Of course there are people who do that, some may be unaware but for some it just doesn’t fit into their values or morals. Men and women can manipulate the other sex depending on the individuals
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:27 PM
2

Perhaps you shouldn’t attack someone who’s apart of the BDSM community that participates in a common activity before you educated yourself on the area.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:25 PM
2

Well they said confidence is a turn off for them. We don’t exactly know what they view as confidence though, from the first comment I immediately thought of someone arrogant, not confidant
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:24 PM
1

I saw the comment and I believe the person is mistaking arrogance for confidence with the examples given. However it’s just a guess
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:20 PM
–

I saw the comment and I personally think they are mistaking confidence for arrogance from the examples given
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:18 PM
0

Rectangle heads are never something I found personally attractive. Also the first time I’ve heard that used as one of the traits women want
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:14 PM
–

I’d say he’s handsome but I also realize the artist made him with as little flaws as possible lol he just has a more boyish face. I think boyish faces can be attractive, all depends on the individual face lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:07 PM
–

All depends on who you talk to. Some people refuse to acknowledge others of their gender that make lives harder for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:05 PM
1

Personally in my experience that’s arrogance, not confidence at all
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:04 PM
–

Some women are able to recognize and call out women that are predators and abusers
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:02 PM
5

Exactly, have noticed it for a while but it seems pretty common on this sub in my opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 07:01 PM
15

Many people here seem to confuse arrogance for confidence. When they talk about women choosing badly for going after confidence. They normally describe men who are more arrogant than confidant. Being confident is attractive in individuals, arrogance is not
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:48 PM
–

Honestly that was best part for me other than the wife’s response lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:45 PM
–

Really not surprised. Apparently he was though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:37 PM
2

Lmao if you really think so. Seems you don’t know much about the community other than stereotypes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:32 PM
2

Lol many people enjoy serious relationships with BDSM aspects.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:25 PM
3

I never was on for really feminine clothes but I just felt I couldn’t pull of as well as some others, obviously not as well as him lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:04 PM
3

I full agree and damn yeah I’m jealous of his legs, I wish I could pull off a skirt as well as him lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:41 PM
1

It’s great seeing you talk about yourself so confidently and shoot down shit lol. Also saw your writing a novel, that’s awesome! Good luck with your dream of becoming a writer
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:39 PM
2

Lol okay. I can do research and not come to the same conclusion. Wouldn’t either way because I know what a guarantee is lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:32 PM
3

Lol that saying was around before feminism
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:31 PM
2

The other commenter even gave well written out examples lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:19 PM
1

Lol I’ve seen studies but like I said nothing is a guarantee. Please provide the specific studies you are referring then.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:19 PM
2

They are not at all, what does wedlock births mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:16 PM
2

Lol I’ve met them, you’ve still yet to provide any sources for your claims
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:12 PM
3

Sources for that claim? Never heard it is a guarantee. Nothing is a guaranteed
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:04 PM
4

Please share the data your talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:03 PM
14

So you believe she’s happy but you don’t believe any other woman on the sub? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 12:59 PM
1

Do you come across many people who display their sex toys on the coffee table lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 10:55 PM
2

Can understand the hype but like you say, some are just too sensitive for something so powerful. I’m like that myself, way too powerful lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:55 PM
2

That could also be someone wearing too tight underwear. Like the other said it also depends on where the waistband sits. Id say there’s truth to that but not entirely
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:34 PM
1

Understandable, we’re they diagnosed? I’ve just heard a lot of people talk about exs they believe to have a mental disorder but were never professionally told. Doesn’t take away from the fact they were obviously shitty relationships though. If they were dealing with a mental disorder they most likely weren’t putting in real work or they were trying and relapsing. Mental disorders make relationships really difficult, the ex I was talking about is on the Autism spectrum and has ADHD so having two …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:27 PM
1

Nah it’s not a monster. It’s a personality disorder that can royally fuck up people’s lives though. Everyone has the tools to fuck things up, those with personality disorders were just given more lol. Also just means in the future they need more tools to combat their struggles. I get what your saying though lol, BPD is just shitty for those who have to experience it, first or secondhand. I appreciate it. I’ve definitely noticed my traits but I’ve also heard experiences that are far worse than mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:21 PM
1

Eh not sure about that, healthy attitudes towards sex have been building over the years so I don’t think it would be too hard for a lot of people to be interested. Overly religious would be a problem lol. Yep people better educated in sex is a win win lol Seems like there’s a lot of people that don’t understand the opposite sex. Which I don’t blame them, even if you supposedly understand the opposite sex, there will always be an individual that’s different and will throw you off lol Yeah most of…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:26 PM
1

Haha no problem, everyone gets mixed up sometimes
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:14 PM
1

I also understand your points. It just seems like the person arguing with her has a very broad definition of generalizations. I don’t agree fully with either side, I just don’t believe most people believes what this commenter does https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pm3vw1/why_should_a_woman_choose_to_date_a_man_she_knows/hcg9r0o/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:03 PM
1

That doesn’t make sense either way. I’m asking for answers that are not gender specific, that is why I said people and not women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:49 PM
2

Lmao thankfully yeah, saying sorry is pretty common around me though lol That’s a great way of putting it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:48 PM
1

Honestly with all the shit that can be talked about because it would have to be in depth for it to be worth while, so it’d probably be a ridiculous amount of short videos for attention spans like you say lol. Most of the time everyone is clueless lol. I think that’s one thing that porn can take away from, it can be really nice to learn alongside your partner, not just take lessons from a porn video and expect it to work on every women. Of course that is more likely for men who watch porn a lot, …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:46 PM
2

Some people fear judgement by others. Some men and some women. Not all women though
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:32 PM
1

That adds more context, if someone just links a post and says someone is generalizing men , I would look for that, I didn’t personally see it in that post. Either way that just means she’s a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:29 PM
1

Lmfao at least Canadians have a stereotype for being nice so that helps me lol. We have our share of complete assholes lmao Seems most people default to thinking it’s the US. I’ve been trying to keep that in mind though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:24 PM
1

Yeah, that’s what’s always brought up lol I understand it can be used for learning and that can be helpful but often learning from porn isn’t the best. Informative videos for beginners would probably be a good idea lol hadn’t thought of that. “The Tutorial to Sex Part 1” lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:22 PM
1

I understand but they are claiming she is generalizing men in that post. I would agree if the title said arguing with men on Reddit. Not a man on Reddit. Did you notice the first message was a man generalizing single mothers as Probably Not Value Women PNVM. I didn’t understand until I learned what the term meant
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:20 PM
1

Lmao it can be hard to not assume the default as US, I don’t live there either lmfao. I’m in the neighbouring country Canada so it can be really similar for me though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:58 PM
1

Lol hello again, just your local porn addiction awareness spreader lmao No problem, I remembered that statistic but I wasn’t sure if you remembered it was just the US as far as we’re aware. Yeah that’s all I wanted to comment on to make sure that’s clear lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:48 PM
1

Yeah I’m not sure how people can forget about the alcohol prohibition. Seems common for people to think a lot of problems will disappear if something is banned which most know isn’t true. True, I just figured that answer was a given that it can give ideas. I was just hoping for more but it is what I usually hear. Of course it is a good reason don’t get me wrong, it can work out well, can backfire sometimes. Helping understand each other better I feel is a more in-depth answer than just picking u…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:44 PM
1

I definitely understand what your saying and coming from. I have personal experience with porn addicts in my relationship so I’m all to aware of what is possible. I’m just not sure it’s fair to say everyone’s relationship is better without porn. Like I said excessive porn is always crossing a line. I just know there are couples who enjoy it together and make their own to enjoy. I also upvoted your post because as I said I was interested in the replies. I think it wasn’t the best way you could ph…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:20 PM
2

Not trying to get in the middle of an argument, just wanted to say the 200,000 is just for the US apparently. Just wanted to mention it because it seems next to impossible to get an accurate statistic for men across the world. About 200,000 Americans are classified as “porn addicts.” 40 million American people regularly visit porn sites. 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:12 PM
1

Lol I try. I definitely understand that and it’s good to hear. Also definitely understand being hostile to someone who wants outright ban it all. Wouldn’t work even if it were to magically happen. Just sucks that the post was a bit aggressive and from an avid porn hater because I was interested in the answers myself. Of course I was more interested in answers from those who may be affected by something similar and those who watch porn avidly. I definitely get it though since the question is abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:59 PM
0

I believe a lot of men experience that. I don’t think it takes away from those who struggle though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:43 PM
2

I don’t personally think men aren’t a good investment. Sorry should have added that part because I don’t agree with OP on that aspect. Appreciate the reminder
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:31 AM
1

Because I have personal experience with it. Yes I’ve never advocated for anything else other than moderation and spreading awareness of something that I’ve experienced. Personally didn’t seem like you were taking it seriously since you ignored my points and just came back with questions, I said I was looking for your thoughts
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:27 AM
1

I’ve seen studies, it’s fairly new in ways of research for it. That is like comparing apples to oranges. That’s up to the individual. Honestly was just looking for your opinion, if you don’t want to take it seriously, that’s fine, have a good day
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:21 AM
4

Well that makes sense people can perceive things differently. I don’t say it’s not possible the see that side, I just personally don’t and some others do as well. Just as some agree with you
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:33 AM
1

Was told by a trauma specialist I most likely don’t meet the full diagnosis but apparently it’s obvious I have high traits lol. Which I can definitely see looking back
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:14 AM
1

Lol I get that, I have some narcissistic tendencies due to having traits of BPD. So I often put my ex on a pedestal then when push him off at times for things I didn’t like. Self esteem is a roller coaster normally, think I’m the worst, or think im the best lol. We were both extremely toxic at that time but due to that relationship I’m more aware than I’ve ever been and have been working on myself since then, definitely improved but still a way to go lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:08 AM
2

Bingo, it’s not all filled with people struggling with mental illnesses, desperation is a big factor as well. Honestly I’d say there’s many factors we could dissect but I personally believe mental illnesses, low self esteem and desperation are large parts of it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:01 AM
1

It also seems like OP is more focused on the shaming that happens to men who don’t like their partners using sex toys to satisfy herself. Just going by the last paragraph, I don’t think he is particularly worried about porn. More the double standard of things
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:45 AM
1

Porn sickness is generally referred to as porn addiction, he mentions “it implies that the use of porn is genuinely enough to cause a physical condition (ED I’m guessing), and that is on the male for using a form of escapism instead of acknowledging the situation at hand” Porn addiction can cause ED in some and addictions normally are a form of escapism, to not acknowledge situations or feelings. It’s tricky because FDS users will use that term for a lot of different things just from what I gath…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:42 AM
3

There’s a difference between a partner wanting wanting sex and intimacy and the other choosing porn and looking to find it in porn when it’s refused. When it comes to people talking about porn addiction, they are wanting sex and intimacy but the addicted party chooses porn instead. Most women I know don’t mind porn as long as it doesn’t affect the relationship. There are always those that have more strict and lenient views though of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:27 AM
11

She mentions emotional hurt. Even if she doesn’t need him for financial reasons she has other needs. Usually emotional needs which is what I gather from her saying she could survive without him but it would be painful
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:11 AM
19

Seems like they just have an agreement to their relationship and they both behave accordingly. Honestly can’t see what you are
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:08 AM
11

How does it seem like she thinks so little of him?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:03 AM
1

I’ve met some women who say they’ve been desensitized but they also mentioned excessive use. May also depend on how it’s used? I not sure since it hasn’t happened to me personally but I’ve seen many women talk about
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:00 AM
2

My brain skipped over his last part of technical divorce. Lmao I’m sorry about that, really was mixed up
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:42 AM
3

Lmao good history joke. Well I’m glad to hear they have such a robust healthcare and sick leave system, that’s pretty awesome
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:41 AM
2

Yeah, unfortunately it seems too common. Damn your ex has like the same story as me. I just realized how paranoid I had become and knew that wasn’t fair for someone looking for a relationship. It’s why I’m on a break now to work on myself. I definitely understand being fed up with double standards, women have to deal with it as well but people just keep feeding into the cycle. Self awareness seems to lack a lot these days
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:40 AM
3

We have unions too, apparently they aren’t working as hard as yours lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:37 AM
2

Apologies I mistook him, was right after I posted my reply saying I wonder if OP will post stats about sick days since I hadn’t heard that. Lol sorry for the mix up
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:36 AM
2

God damn, that’s freaking nice. Didn’t wanna go by just my experience so I looked up Canada average The CTF used data from Statistics Canada. It shows in 2018, federal government employees took an average of 12.2 sick days per year, compared to the national private sector average of 6.9 days. Canada's federal labour code also states that workers can take five unpaid sick days per year, and that federally-regulated employers must offer at least three days of paid sick leave a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:33 AM
2

Never said we can’t get sick pay, sick leave is normally a pain. So if you can’t get sick leave you can’t get sick pay. It depends on the company though. I was mentioning If you get sick, you will get paid time off word, sometimes for years. Only would be years under WSIB. Which means the employee was injured on the job and the employer needs to continue paying him
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:31 AM
2

He’s talking about statistics of sick leave
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:29 AM
2

Which link are you talking about? Sorry I see many but I don’t see any that I think would fit into what the commenter is asking about
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:22 AM
3

I’ve also noticed more studies done on women being affected by love addiction. I’m going to guess that’s a gender bias in the scientific field because each addiction seems to be more common in one gender but this is generally pretty new as I said. As far as I can find anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:20 AM
2

Only thing I can think of is if the reason your sick is because of your job, your employer is responsible, otherwise I haven’t heard of that
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:18 AM
2

Not around here that I’ve heard of. Perhaps OP is somewhere else but I haven’t heard much of it. I’d appreciate it if OP would post those. Sick leave is normally just as crappy on average here lol Health care is free here as well but there are limitations to it so it’s definitely better in the ways of debt
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:17 AM
3

The topic is still extremely new. Attitudes are changing which I am thankful for. There has also just been more coverage on porn addiction affecting men. I think porn addiction needs to be talked about for all genders. Anyone struggling with an addiction should be able to get help and not feel stigmatized for it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:16 AM
5

Moderation is the key. Lol just a broken record at this point but I think moderation is a very important part. Honestly I have seen what you are say. As shitty and controlling as it is, I can see where it comes from. I would say normally women who draw lines like that have been hurt extremely and have developed a very toxic mindset because of it. My exs addiction developed into a sex addiction with him cheating. I stayed for a year trying to help him but during that time I had the same toxic min…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:13 AM
17

Excellent point. Only know a couple people around me that are able to have the housewife set up, otherwise everyone is in dual income
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:07 AM
5

In Canada we have severance pay I believe it’s called. Normally not a huge chunk though
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:04 AM
9

Both are a personal choice that I understand. I do believe it is not a good idea to place your livelihood in another persons hands. Relationships and life are filled with risk but becoming dependant on a partner increases risks I’d say Edit: A partner is an investment you make in life to better each other. There is risks like anything else and generally people want to find a companion to share their life with. One man might not be worth investing your time and emotions into but another man could…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:01 AM
0

Porn addiction can affect both genders, it’s definitely something that needs to be talked about. People will defend their usage no matter the gender and normally due to denial. Not always of course, many people have healthy relationships with porn
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:58 AM
1

Or someone with a porn addiction. Women can struggle with it too but it appears more common in men
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:48 AM
2

Yeah I remember there was a lot of shady stuff, didn’t wanna say anything outright because I just remembered his name carried a lot of negativity at a certain time
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:33 AM
5

Heard a lot about Ceasar Malan or however it’s spelled. Never fully believed in that title myself. Wish I could remember what was going around but I recall lots of negative things floating around a few years ago
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:10 AM
1

Okay, just a curiosity on your thoughts on this concept then. For some men using excessive porn could lessen those restraints they created. Social norm is to not hurt your partners of course, however addictions can make that difficult. Even if you don’t believe in porn addiction, sex addiction has been mainstream for quite sometime. I tried to use the term excessive as well because porn can be healthy, it can be fun and add to a relationship. Just like many things you can start becoming dependen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:57 AM
1

Sure. You say it’s men nature though to spread their seed, you consider yourself above average mens nature in that reasoning?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:46 AM
1

Nah you count it as spreading your seeds. Pretty sad you feel the need to try and make me feel bad about my ex cheating. Keep the personal attacks up lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:42 AM
1

You just trying to be a creep now or is that a bad joke?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:36 AM
1

Whatever dude, justify cheating however you want. Says more about you
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:36 AM
2

Lol why don’t you take a look before talking about things you obviously don’t know about
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:34 AM
2

Don’t even know how to respond. Literally justifying cheating simply because of being a man. Damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:30 AM
1

The fact that you said men go to nofap for ED due to performance anxiety. Obviously that’s not the only reason, which is why I provided a link as evidence. Literally just searched porn in nofap and copied the first one
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:29 AM
2

Ugh no he didn’t… you have no idea about my relationship. I gave you a quick overview. So cheating is a mans thing? That is obviously not true in the least
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:26 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/pbpmb8/what_i_learned_from_20000_of_porn_addiction/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Maybe look into the nofap sub before talking about it. Really easy to look up
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:22 AM
4

Big generalizations there. A lot of women are fine with healthy porn use. Like the other commenter said there are women on here who have shared there stories and it’s not hard to find stories of unmarried women who complain about their partner. I was never married, was 115lbs and my ex had a porn addiction that escalated into a sex addiction which resulted in him cheating. You can try and blame women for men’s problems with porn but it’s not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:20 AM
4

Lol I have no problem talking about putting people on pedestals. It’s a common problem. I did that with my ex and even though that relationship had a myriad of different problems, putting him on a pedestal at times certainly didn’t help in anyway Edit: also put women I envied on a pedestal as well when I was young so I have experienced putting both genders on a pedestal
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 03:11 AM
1

People who get into abusive relationships more often than not don’t have the best understanding of a healthy relationship. It can make a good starting point for someone to take advantage. There is also a lot of denial involved once the person starts realizing it normally. It’s mind boggling for outsiders and I totally get that, it’s mind boggling I let that happen for so long also lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:55 AM
1

One of the sections of that page specifically mentions metaphor, which is what I was using it for. Law professor and legal commentator Eugene Volokh commented in 2003 that regardless of the behavior of real frogs, the boiling frog story is useful as a metaphor, comparing it to the metaphor of an ostrich with its head in the sand.[5] Economics Nobel laureate and New York Times op-ed writer Paul Krugman used the story as a metaphor in a July 2009 column, while pointing out that real frogs behave d…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:50 AM
2

That’s what I mean by fully believe. I just normally don’t see the phrases AWALT and minority in the same comment. That’s just why I pointed it out, don’t see that often
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:49 AM
1

Did you miss the part where I said it was a saying. I don’t believe it is true
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:46 AM
1

Also depends on how well they are able to keep up the front. Some people become abusive when children come into the picture because they believe the other really couldn’t leave now Edit: become abusive that can’t be brushed off anymore for the partner. Abusers test the waters to see how far they can push and how early
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:20 AM
2

Even if you supposedly don’t want to, you still do which your free to do so. Which I’m not sure you believe fully because you can see there is a minority so obviously not all women are like that
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:19 AM
1

Yep, it just very slowly ramps up. Like the saying of putting a frog into hot water, they’ll jump right out. Place a frog in water, heat it up slowly and the frog will stay. Slowly changes your perception. It’s like acclimatizing to a climate but in a mental sense is the best way I can describe. Starts out so small you don’t realize until your years in. Then it’s harder to leave someone you develop a connection to.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:17 AM
0

Lol actually met them through a friend now that I’m thinking back, wasn’t initially interested in them though and they pursed me. Friend trying to set me up and it back fired bad lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:11 AM
-1

There is, it’s the same reason little red flags are brushed off in the beginning of abusive relationships. Rose coloured glasses for the relationship then normally denial Edit: not sure why people are downvoting, simply just trying to explain how abusive relationships often happen. It’s common enough that there is the saying all flags become pink when wearing rose coloured glasses
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:06 AM
-1

Lol I wish, would’ve been easy to avoid. Can’t speak for others but they approached me, so they kinda found me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:03 AM
1

God damn I relate way to much to her experience but am so glad I never got that paranoid. I thought I was paranoid after I broke up that relationship but that’s just another level lmao. Also don’t think go around calling people narcs is helpful. They could be a narcissist, maybe not. Glad I never looked much into the sub I guess lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 01:59 AM
1

There is a disconnect with some, both should be used in moderation. Both sides defend their argument however they see fit. I believe over usage of both can cause issues
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 01:45 AM
1

Yeah had my own personal horror story lol that only scratches the surface
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 01:41 AM
3

Drawing makes it ten times cuter I think lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 12:29 AM
3

Appreciate that, took me years but we broke up two years ago but didn’t fully end it and move out until last year. Honestly only broke up after finding out about his cheating but I’ve gotten better and more self aware. Just still have a long way to go lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 12:19 AM
2

I’m Demisexual so I have high drive in relationship. That was in the context of an abusive relationship where he withheld affection and sex. Reason why I’m not looking at the moment to work on myself lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 12:13 AM
2

Yep even in a relationship. Have gone a year, not looking for sex or relationship at the moment
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 12:09 AM
1

Yeah I’ve seen the girls your talking about and I’ve seen average girls with tattoos. Don’t understand hand and chest tattoos myself but it’s a choice. Sure, that’s your opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 11:38 PM
2

Lol I thought FDS was women’s version of red/black pill and that’s why men are always freaking about it. Don’t care for either of them, just find it funny because lying and being honest are both human traits. One is not just for one gender. There’s liars and cheaters in both genders lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 09:15 PM
3

Funny how it’s always extremes and no one average can have a tattoo apparently
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 09:06 PM
2

Try as you might I didn’t say that, infer whatever you want, have fun trolling lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:45 PM
2

Lol have to bring up murder again because I threw back in your face using small statistics for your advantage. Your doing the same thing you complain of others doing with a rape statistic. Perhaps you should reconsider your own. Lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:44 PM
2

Never said it did. Your arguing in circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:40 PM
2

Jesus again stop putting words in my mouth. Are you just trolling at this point? I never once said it never happens. I said I don’t see it happen near me and stats would be helpful to know how commonly it occurs. Can you have a conversation without putting words in someone’s mouth
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:39 PM
2

That’s your perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:37 PM
1

Well I haven’t done that, funnily enough you did because you brought up an uncommon abortion procedure to justify your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:36 PM
1

Lol definitely was a bit of a princess when I was young but I also met a whole lot prissier people. Yeah referred to it as generic since it’s what I mostly hear lol. Lmao well been pretty open on my account have no idea where it’ll go , hopefully to happily ever after lmao Lol probably some pretty generic stuff again lmao but like I say in my flair I consider myself Demisexual so can’t think of something that is a turn on by itself. Only ever been related to people I’ve been interested in lol Da…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:35 PM
1

Of course. You simply ignore all my points and just go back to it is murder. Curious are you religious? Either way don’t really care, sincerely hope you never impregnate someone. Have a good life 👋
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:29 PM
1

They weren’t shitty women who went behind their partners back
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:27 PM
1

When did I ever disagree that women can have the general say if they are shitty and disregard their partner. Again I believe statistics would be beneficial because I do not see that around me. Perhaps it’s more common around you, if so that really sucks
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:26 PM
1

I’m not claiming a person is a lump of cells, a fetus is. And as I said, labels are not just for dehumanizing people
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:24 PM
1

Have I mentioned rape once for the argument? Obviously it is a common topic but I never brought it up so you have no idea how I feel about it. A man not caring about a child he help create is a man not caring
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:20 PM
1

Ignore my other comment that you witnessed an abortion practice that is very uncommon. Wasn’t even that common in the early 2000a
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:19 PM
1

Again don’t put words in my mouth. Never said that. I said most couples I know around me decide together. That is why statistics are beneficial because my personal experiences don’t line up with yours at all
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:18 PM
1

Because your using that scenario for your entire argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:17 PM
1

Do you think I’m unaware of history? I have roots from Germany and Poland, I’m well aware. If you really believe people make labels and groups to dehumanize others I don’t know how to help you. Obviously it can be used as such, a label or group is not always to do so
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:16 PM
1

It is also known as intact dilation and evacuation (D&E) and, in United States federal law, as partial-birth abortion. Partial-birth abortion is not an accepted medical term and is not used by abortion practitioners or the medical community at large.[1][2] In 2000, although only 0.17% (2,232 of 1,313,000) of all abortions in the United States were performed using this procedure,[3] it developed into a focal point of the abortion debate. Intact D&E of a fetus with a heartbeat was outlawed in most…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:10 PM
1

Lol you don’t think I have? Your talking about smashing a skull. Never saw that and no one has ever mentioned that
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:08 PM
2

Lol don’t put words in my mouth. I said the stats would be beneficial to conversations like this when situations like that are the main focus. Not sure your actually taking in what I’m saying or if your just so set in your own beliefs. Most couples make the decision together. Ones I’ve met anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:08 PM
1

Oh I try my best lol Haha you’d think but usually quite the opposite, just easier to be sassy online lol Lol yeah diving in fast is something I did a lot. Lol always wanted the generic shit lol. I was just younger and more naive so wanting the fairytale romance made it easier to take advantage of me lmao. Just have a more realistic view of romance now lol. Lol good try, honesty maybe attractive but it’s not a turn on by itself lol. Also figured lol, if I thought someone did have 13 kids and they…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:06 PM
1

You really think they crush fetuses skulls? I’ve never once heard that During a suction abortion procedure, the doctor or nurse will: examine your uterus put a speculum in to see into your vagina inject a numbing medication into or near your cervix stretch the opening of your cervix with a series of dilating rods if you haven’t had them put in earlier insert a thin tube through your cervix into your uterus use a small, hand-held suction device or suction machine to gently take the pregnancy tiss…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:59 PM
1

Yes it takes two. Do you happen to have stats of men who do want their children but they end up aborted? I haven’t seen numbers but I feel like that would be beneficial to the conversation to see how often it actually happens in the scenario your talking about. Most people I’ve encountered decided together they weren’t ready for a baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:56 PM
2

Like I said there are toxic people in any group but not all pro choice people are like that. Are you perhaps looking online where toxic people are more easily gathered?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:53 PM
1

It takes two to make a baby. Your complaining how men have no say but you also don’t want to take responsibility
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:52 PM
1

Dear lord is that what your think abortions are? Or are you simply embellishing to make it seem worse
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:51 PM
2

Perhaps it’s the way you view it. Some can be very toxic. It’s just weird because if you believe a fetus is a baby and they are being murdered, miscarriages would be similar. A doctor isn’t preforming a procedure but it’s usually the women’s body unable to sustain life. It’s just strange to me that people are so convinced a fetus is a human until it comes to miscarriages. Technically if we follow that logic a women could be charged with neglect for a miscarriage. Because their body isn’t up to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:44 PM
2

You seem to be ignoring my entire point
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:38 PM
2

I agree but it makes sense if we solely think of the child. I believe we need programs to help children who’s father does want to give up parental rights and stop child support. Like I said elsewhere I don’t think anyone should be forced to be a parent but without support from elsewhere, single parents have to rely on the other. Many single parents can support themselves and their child without help but there are many that need help and I feel like government program might a better idea. It woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:36 PM
1

An abortion doesn’t always do that either. Many women still consider them their baby but they have to make a decision they don’t always want to do. Honestly don’t know anyone who doesn’t think it isn’t human. It is developing into a human. I know many women who felt heartbreak for having to abort what they considered their baby. They often didn’t think of it just a fetus even if scientifically that is what it’s referred to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:31 PM
2

Yes and I said I agree no person should be forced to take on the responsibility of being a parent. It’s about the child’s welfare, if there is support elsewhere, I couldn’t care less if the father isn’t forced to pay but that’s not where we are right now
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:28 PM
1

That’s mean to the lion though. Hadn’t thought of a cannon but that sounds like a good idea too lol Well your certainly a type of right man, would you tell me if it was otherwise though? Lol I’m still in the process of learning what the right man is for me. Like I said I got out of a shitty relationship and my first wasn’t much better but after those if I had to say I’d probably say someone who is honest and genuinely wants to spend their life with me. Basically the most generic but when you end…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:27 PM
3

Was interested in that so I looked it up in my area. This is what I found Unless the minor child is being adopted, the voluntary termination of parental rights is a rare case. There must exist good reasons for voluntarily terminate parental rights to get the court’s support. For instance- when a stepparent will adopt the child, then the court will support the voluntary giving up of parental rights. The court will always examine what the best interest of the child is. If you are just giving up yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:22 PM
1

One day it maybe a human, miscarriages are super common. Just because a fetus is conceived doesn’t mean it will one day be a baby unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:19 PM
2

Your entire point is that men aren’t entirely at fault either. If you really believe that, just do your best to not get anyone pregnant because you obviously wouldn’t care much for your child’s welfare
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:14 PM
1

Ideally it wouldn’t be problem. My biggest thing like I said is children who don’t have support. Many single mothers are able to support themselves and their child but others need financial support which is why fathers pay child support. If there was programs to help those who need it I feel like there would be less backlash. Of course some people will just always have problems with it but it commonly comes down to the child’s welfare.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:05 PM
1

Oh yeah, definitely comes the deepest pits of the lovely little void Lmao he certainly was something, if he started a routine with a lion I’d pay to see that lol. Oh I’m submissive for the right man and I maybe breedable but good fucking luck with that lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 07:02 PM
2

Good to know, I’ll continue my suing rampage. Damn can only imagine what she has you labeled as in her phone Lmao yeah certainly wasn’t expecting that but definitely makes sense, gotta have humour and some imagination to get through the day lol. That makes a lot of sense though, never even thought of a tractor licensing place even though I know a license is needed lmao. Also sure you got some characters in there lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:57 PM
2

It’s a very tricky subject either way because we’re talking about the welfare of children but I agree there seems to be a strong disconnect. Accidental pregnancies happen all the time and neither party are completely at fault. Honestly I’m not too sure what would be the course because there is simply so many factors to it. I do believe it is best for both people to be able to agree to be a parent. The biggest thing I think would be setting up programs to help children who’s father give up parent…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:54 PM
1

Damn seems like I’ll have to make an account on there then. Can’t pick up guys at the tractor store either, tractor people don’t like public sex it seems Funniest part I think thou, shit ex had a bunch of dating accounts and he had one with farmerdating.com even though he never worked on a farm in his life lmao Ah yeah I’m a rapid dog, always gotta start a convo off aggressively. Quake in your boots! I live to make men happy don’t you know lmaoo
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:39 PM
2

Thanks for adding that, pushing a narrative wasn’t something I considered in the moment but I have seen in that past.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:34 PM
1

Ah yes classic Luna320, ready to sue at a moments notice. Oh no, the crime is too heinous, least you won’t have to fuck your ugly wife and pop out number 14 now. God damn lmao how do you come up with that shit I’ll be the best damn provocateur on PPD dammit!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:33 PM
3

That’s what I mean by people being unaware. People can and often do lie to themselves, that’s pretty well known. It’s hard to know what lies people tell themselves sometimes though. I can’t speak for any women but myself and I can personally say I don’t fall into some of the generalizations. Such as wanting to bang chads then settle down. Yeah there are women who like casual sex and makes sense if they are just looking for sex they look for who they find most attractive. Like I know alot of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:29 PM
1

Lol yeah never been my scene, never been in a club and went to a bar my sister went to at 2pm so it was completely empty lmao. Lol yeah the conversation escalated real quick. From what you wrote in your last reply I’d say we do agree lol Lmao Life does find a way, just never imagined it on the tractor licensing floor lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:21 PM
1

True, it’s not good to blindly believe things and take it with a grain of salt. Like I said just don’t see the point in calling them out (mostly online) cause it’s next to impossible to know they’re lying unless there something off in the comment history lol. Well damn, doesn’t take much for emasculation these days. Guess I can also call myself a tyrant now :D lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:09 PM
1

True, saw it as kinda of a sarcastic question lol, didn’t care much either way. Nothing right now, got out of a bad relationship so will look for another in the future but have to work on myself first. Seems like we’re just talking past each other then cause it looks like we agree. Also thanks so much for the image of people bumping uglies in line for tractor licensing lmfao, don’t think I’d ever have the image otherwise lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:04 PM
1

Lol literally just asking why you assume she’s lying on a anon account. Don’t really care either way, just figured I’d ask. Like the saying says, doesn’t hurt to ask. Not true for everyone apparently lol. Anyways have a good day then
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:53 PM
1

Lmao I have no interest in casual sex, thanks for the assumption though. I’m just talking about what I know from my sisters friends who are big into club and bar scenes. Even out of the shit ton of people she hangs out with, not that many are big into casual sex. Honestly not sure what your trying to say because yes I think it’s normally FWB situations in terms of casual sex but strangers still have casual sex together. I also wasn’t talking about couples, I’ve been talking about casual sex the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:51 PM
3

Haha even it trips me up sometimes simply because some people are just so good at executing it. Women don’t have like a makeup detector lol but generally have a better idea. Those really into makeup would know even more, I know most of the basics so I can notice a lot of the time but im also not naive to think I notice them all lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:47 PM
2

Lol it’s been the same same question. I’ve seen plenty others who have more trivial points and argue for literally days lmao. Guess I just don’t see a point in asking if someone is lying, they are either telling the truth or they continue lying lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:45 PM
2

Lol honestly don’t know anyone that’s been on a train in a long time. I understand what your saying and yes it is more likely at a club than on a train lol. Clubs are a more likely scene for people interested in casual sex but it doesn’t always happen in places considered to be nightlife places
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:34 PM
3

When was I ever arguing, I was asking question? Like I said of course people will do things I don’t understand but more often than not it seems like people are more open on anon. Since you seemed certain the commenter wasn’t telling the truth I was wondering if you knew a reason. Otherwise why assume they aren’t telling the truth?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:32 PM
5

I feel like it’s more likely that other women just know the “tricks of the trade” so to speak. Even women who aren’t that into makeup normally have some understanding of it. Met many men who believe a women is going bare face all the while she has a natural makeup look on. Seems common for women with the most makeup to be noticed more often. I’ve also been kinda surprised in the last year seeing how little some people understand just how much filters can actually affect a picture. Generally I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:30 PM
7

Yep but then what would people bitch about then lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:23 PM
2

No problem, that’s just what I personally think because makeup has always been popular. Just like anything else it follows trends and with trends being able to change and spread so quickly with the internet it’s not surprising in my opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:22 PM
3

Just figured I mention it because I agree it can depend on the situation sometimes but it usually depends on the individual
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:14 PM
3

I’m just asking why someone would feel the need to lie on an anon account. I don’t understand it. Maybe some trolls and such but generally people are open when anon
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:13 PM
4

Don’t deny that. Many people are unaware, however my question is why would someone knowingly lie on an anon account? Just personally don’t understand the reasoning. Of course there are some out there but often people are more open when anonymous
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:10 PM
2

I’d say it’s just the information out there now. Women have been wearing makeup for ages. We’re just in age of digital information. Kids can watch hours of makeup tutorials and have access to information about makeup that wasn’t as readily available. In the ways of social media I’d say it’s more likely filters. I’ve never liked them but I’ve never been much for pictures lol. Seen filters that can do a lot, not to mention how many people use Facetune these days. It’s a mix of factors I believe an…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:08 PM
19

More likely depends on the girl
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:02 PM
8

It’s an anon site, why would people lie to protect face. You don’t personally know them, the internet is where most people are more open
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:56 PM
9

Seems like the main message is don’t put anyone on a pedestal. I agree, it normally just causes issues for both sides. I’ve had problems in the past with that. There’s a difference between having a healthy relationship, believing your partner is special and putting your significant other on a pedestal. Normally doesn’t go well for either gender to put another on a pedestal. In my experience people with low self esteem often prop up others on a pedestal but I’m also aware that can be common in so…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:55 PM
4

I personally think deathgrip would be a better comparison to excessive sex toy use. However I understand the comparison to porn use. I have heard some women say they lose sensitivity due to over use of vibrator normally. Also just falls into what I believe, everything in moderation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 09:07 AM
1

Haha thanks, like I said I was the perfect storm for that so I understand how I ended up in those situations. Last one fully ended around a year ago so it hasn’t been that long but I’ve seen how I’ve improved and am more self aware so am glad about that part lol. Every past relationship is a lesson, I just needed some big ones apparently lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:36 AM
2

Yeah the legal drinking age is 19, where I am in Canada anyway, didn’t change much for me cause as I said I wasn’t ever big on it. Some people go ham once they hit 19. Speaking of my brother had his 19th last weekend, went out with his friends and cousins to a bar and came back like black out drunk. Lucky little shit felt completely fine the next morning lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:11 AM
2

Never been a bar scene girl and wasn’t much for large parties. Only time I went to a bar was like 2pm when my sister was working and it was completely empty lol. Night outs have always just been hanging out with friends later in the night for myself. Probably once a month or every other month I’d normally go to a house party. Normally would go out with friends round once a week. Commonly just people hanging out, drinking and listening to music. I’m also not big on alcohol so I’ve only drank at t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 02:43 AM
1

Ah yeah, very different locations, I’m in Canada near the GTA area so there’s a lot of reasonable sized cities. Honestly I wish I saw trash pandas and opossums more often. The one time the skunk was hiding under a truck the family cat came around meowing and I’m like oh god please don’t be sprayed lmao. Thankfully he wasn’t lol Lol take responsibility for showing me what I can spend my money on >:D
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 01:04 AM
1

Hard to say, maybe the skunks around here are just weird lol. I live in a fairly large city like right in the middle with not too much forestry and such. Just this year I’ve seen at least two skunks, one trotting across my neighbours lawn and another hiding under a truck lol. I honestly can’t remember last time I saw a raccoon in person. I may just have bad luck crossing paths with them lmao God damn why you trying to make me spend money lol that’s a freaking cute shirt
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:54 AM
1

That’s pretty interesting, I see skunks in my city more often than raccoons and opossums. I saw an opossum once, opened by exs door to leave and it was eating the cats food they leave out. Scared the crap out of me lol. I see raccoons occasionally but I see skunks more than I see either of those two. Quite interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:25 AM
2

I feel like it is pretty common like you say, children add a lot of stress some people have a harder time managing. I’d say it’s common for both genders, just from what I’ve seen and experienced. There is a big difference when someone can admit and try to work on something they are struggling and when someone refuses to even try to be aware. I think that’s also a reason why more people are deciding against having children. We’ve become more aware about mental health and how much we can affect a …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 07:26 PM
2

Lol I wish, normally they just run off though, they are more scared of you normally
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 06:49 PM
2

Super cute but usually not too nice lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 06:38 PM
1

Honestly can’t think of many things I didn’t just give into, the only thing I can immediately think of that wasn’t a compromise but a line which was when an ex asked about an open relationship and when they cheated. Both those relationships were when I was a teen and just into my twenties with shit self esteem lol. Things I can think of is getting sexual before I was ready, moved in before I was ready, stopped hanging out with people who my ex didn’t like. Ended up become a housemaid for an ex b…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 03:45 PM
1

Also meant that women are shit on in other podcasts. Not stupid enough to believe fresh and fit is for women, heard about it a while ago
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:40 PM
1

You have real problems if you think a woman’s job is to fill men’s sexual needs. Dude your making it seem much more common than it is. Your taking your info from podcasts that look for specific women in the first place. I watched one fresh and fit episode to see what it was about. Women like that exist but there are plenty of women who are not like that. If I ask women around me what they don’t like about men they don’t bring up hygiene. They bring it up if they had experience with a man like th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:37 PM
1

Yeah I know lol, didn’t mind talking so much because it was so bizarre lol but once he made that comparison… you basically dug your grave instead of a hole lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:31 PM
1

Seems like it’s common to try and avoid stereotypes. However I don’t think it comes from people who pretend to have depression. I fit part of the stereotype but not all of it. I also believe people don’t act like they have depression just for attention. Commonly it seems like people trying to find a label for themselves and what they experience. Human nature to label and put things into groups. Those who do use it solely for attention more likely are dealing with something different. For example…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:29 PM
3

As sick as it is it’s nothing new unfortunately.. High profile criminals from the past had fan clubs as well. Some still do.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:00 AM
2

You also mention how people used to use the words “wench”, “bawd”, “maid” or “women”. Nowadays women can be referred to as babe, ditz, bimbos, chick\chickie. Around me again at least and I’m sure there is more slang or lingo I’m forgetting. Edit: Here’s a bunch of slang for women. Some I’ve never heard of and some are outdated but some are still used by older generations http://onlineslangdictionary.com/thesaurus/words+meaning+woman,+women,+female.html
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:48 AM
1

Perhaps, I just don’t hear it too often. Normally it is used in customer service at times, usually people who are elderly or older as well will still sometimes use young lady to get someone’s attention. Also used by older generations to chastise a “young lady” , only other time I hear it is when someone says “well that wasn’t very ladylike”. So it can be referred to when addressing someone aswell Even when it isn’t used to address someone and is used in something like gossip it’s normally old la…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:36 AM
5

Depends on what is commonly said around you , in your example of old man and old lady, I hear those but I also heard old women and older gentlemen. It may depend on the environment as well. I’ve just heard all those versions to refer to elderly people. Landlord and owner are both also used here? Edit: Live in Canada for reference Edit: I also normally hear Miss and Ma’am more than I hear lady. Like another said these are just common customer service terms now
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 05:47 AM
3

That’s so fucked up… I feel so bad for that boy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 05:42 AM
2

Some things I won’t compromise on would be children, long term like you mentioned with education and moving away. Wouldn’t comprise my own set beliefs. Would also need to be a monogamous relationship. Grew up with animals so I would need at least one pet in the household. I’d be comfortable moving depending on how far. Not having children have been something I’ve been decided on for a while. I wish to further my education. Not religious myself but I’m open to dating someone who is religious if i…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 05:35 AM
1

Haha yeah, if he replies again I don’t plan on replying again, would be going on three days of a hygiene rant lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:13 AM
2

Also just so you know not everyone is comfortable being called BPDs because it often paints the image that’s all they are. Personally it doesn’t bother me much because I understand people don’t really get it. Just figured I’d mention it because even with other disorders people often prefer you say people with said diagnosis, so it doesn’t seem like they are basically a cartoon character or stereotype of that disorder. Just figured I’d let you know since you may come across someone who doesn’t ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 03:04 AM
2

He gets his information from podcasts like fresh and fit or whatever it is. Been talking with him since the post was made basically and he’s just running in circles, having no experience with America, which is where he’s talking about and he’s taking podcasts at their word. Can’t win if someone from Germany thinks they know more about North America because they listen to podcasts lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 02:22 AM
2

Your literally comparing keeping up on hygiene to rape… dude stop listening to those podcasts.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 02:16 AM
1

I could totally change my mind in a few years or whatever. However I do know it is possible to enjoy your life without a romantic partner, some just have a harder time getting to that place, then the problem at staying in that place.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 02:02 AM
1

I’m not naive enough to believe I may not change my mind in the future. We have no idea how the future can change. I can only speak for right now
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:55 AM
1

No you can’t but like I said, I’m comfortable not having a romantic partner. It is not something I need. I would like one but I do not need one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:51 AM
1

Probably true for the majority of people but it’s not always true. Wasn’t true for me anyway. It also depends on the person your with
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:39 AM
1

Like I said I don’t need it so I don’t feel like I’m missing it. It’s an addition
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:37 AM
1

That’s not true for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:35 AM
1

Companionship? Someone to share my life with and grow. Those aren’t something I need but they’d be nice
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:35 AM
1

I can understand both sides, I’ve seen both. If someone I connect with comes along I’ll be open but I won’t let myself get into a relationship where I’m not respected or it brings my life down. I’m better by myself, if I find someone to add to my life I’d be happy to share my life with them
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:23 AM
1

I’m missing more internal things. That’s why I’m working on myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:20 AM
1

I can’t explain myself any better, I hope you can understand what people are trying to say one day
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:15 AM
1

That’s not how everyone looks for relationships. If someone is okay being by themselves they are looking for someone to add to their lives, wouldn’t want to take away so why wouldn’t you want to add to your life? It’s not greedy, that’s how a lot of people look for relationships. Like I said in the past I was looking because I felt like I was missing. I learned otherwise
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:04 AM
1

I don’t plan on it, like I said it’s not something I want at the moment because I need to work on myself. I also don’t feel desperate for a relationship like I used to so like many it’s not something I feel like I need, if I meet someone who I grow to love. I’ll be happy but if I don’t find someone, I can be okay, working on being happier by myself still though. I don’t want to be so unhappy I’ll be desperate enough to end up in the situations I was in before
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:56 AM
1

Of course but just because people are looking for relationships don’t mean they aren’t content by themselves. Once people are happy they look for a relationship just to add to their lives. I don’t personally believe it’s a coping mechanism, it’s just being comfortable being by yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:42 AM
1

I haven’t given up on it. Some do and some are just content being alone. Some people never marry and live by themselves and some never remarry after a divorce or a partner passing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:38 AM
1

Oh sorry, I meant I don’t believe people who achieve that are just coping. I believe in coping mechanisms of course. Yeah I believe that’s why the saying is so common because people can achieve. Not everyone can take in advice and use it though
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:23 AM
1

I’ve always craved a relationship, I’ve just learned a relationship won’t fill that void. Right now i truly don’t want one because I know my previous relationships affected me and I have to work on things that I needed to work before that too. Mostly just working on my own disorder then coming to terms with being cheated on. It affects you and it’s not fair for me to view someone like my ex which I know would probably happen still
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:20 AM
1

Well generally only the individual can decide what level of happiness they are feeling, just like any emotion. Not sure how you’d measure it other than how you ever you decide. There is a scale that is why we have terms like happy and euphoric, those are used to generally describe different levels of emotion. Coping is a common concept, I just don’t personally believe it is a coping mechanism but I understand why you would think so. Probably a bad way to word it, I do think it’s possible for eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 12:11 AM
1

I just understand that would be incredibly hard and I understand where your coming from. Yes it is common for people to feel like they need to fill a void with a romantic relationship. That’s why I commented because needing to fill that void led me to those relationships. I understand it doesn’t always happen like that but I’ve seen it happen often so I just try to give a sort of warning. Personally a relationship didn’t fill that void because it’s something internal in me. It’s still something …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:31 PM
1

Gradation a scale or a series of successive changes, stages, or degrees. "within the woodpecker family, there is a gradation of drilling ability" "minute gradations of distance" a minute change from one shade, tone, or color to another. "amorphous shapes in subtle gradations of green and blue" It means on a scale in this context, as in the a scale or spectrum of happiness. When I said I never mentioned how common it occurred I was talking about what you referred to as a coping mechanism. So we a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:25 PM
1

That’s also totally different. I truly am sorry that you’ve gone through that. I was speaking on average that people have someone outside of a romantic relationship. I mentioned I know that’s not true for everyone though. I honestly am sorry to hear all you’ve been through
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:13 PM
1

I’d go by definitions, especially on a word so common as gradation. If you believe so. I also never said it was the norm. Never mentioned how common it occurs. Okay I have no problem with that, don’t assume I believe my experience is more valid when I don’t know anything about yours. I share my experiences all the time to help. I created my account to get help with those and now I share them to help. Because I’ve met such people so I know it’s possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:10 PM
1

Yep, other people can affect you a lot. It’s great when it turns out well, unfortunately I’ve had more bad luck with it lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:05 PM
1

I’m not saying that at all. I think your misunderstanding me. If you believe I’m trying to underplay romantic relationships I don’t know what to tell you. Hope you have a good day
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:53 PM
1

I just mean that everyone who doesn’t have a romantic relationship isn’t alone. Of course I realize there are those who have neither and I feel for them. As well as those who struggle for a relationship. It’s a fact but it doesn’t negate the feelings people have. I’m not trying to come off as insensitive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:48 PM
1

Never heard it used in that context. Talking about the comment you replied to. Apologies if someone else mentioned it but you replied to this comment asking about graduation. There's a gradation in "happiness". You can be contented with your life without a partner. If you can't, that's an issue as it makes you an easy target for people who'd like to use you. Would you mind sharing how you had the opposite experience? Never meant to imply my experience is more important than anyone else’s. I just…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:46 PM
2

I only mentioned that because OP said to ignore bad relationships which would only happen in a perfect world. That’s the thing, the advice is to make sure you don’t become *too dependant on one person. Of course everyone has to depend on people but when people believe a relationship is the key to happiness, they often put that metaphorical key in the others hands. That’s how it becomes codependent. People aren’t always lonely if they are not in a romantic relationship. When I was depressed it wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:26 PM
1

Not having a romantic relationship doesn’t mean your alone in life. If means you don’t have a partner in life
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:18 PM
1

What does gradation mean then? She didn’t say graduation. I’m not, check my other comment, I’ve lived through it. I understand though. I didn’t get it when I was depressed
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:17 PM
2

I’m speaking from experience, I wasn’t happy before I was in my relationship and thought that once I was in a relationship I would become happy. That certainly wasn’t the case. After the honeymoon stage of the few weeks you normally go back to where you started. This seems to be a common thought with people who struggle with depression. I only truly learned the meaning behind the saying after I went through two abusive and codependent relationships because I relied on them for happiness. Then be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:06 PM
1

I didn’t believe you could graduate from happiness. The person above said gradation, like how happiness is on a spectrum. Sorry I’m not entirely sure of the questions. Normally the goal is to as happy as you can?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:01 PM
0

You don’t experience different levels of happiness?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:32 PM
4

The advice is to not completely rely on one person for your happiness
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:31 PM
1

Oh definitely, we definitely can be abusive, especially if we aren’t managing our disorder. I’ll admit I was abusive at times as well which I’m not proud of. Its seems people with BPD are very likely to end up in abusive relationships. I’ve seen a few studies were relationships between people diagnosed with BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are fairly common. My ex wasn’t a narcissist, he has improved but he is on the autism spectrum and had ADHD. At times it seemed like he was higher on…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:48 PM
2

Lol true sorry bout that, should’ve remembered you mentioned tik tok, was just thinking of a specific sub since we’re on Reddit and I don’t use tik tok too often lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:32 PM
2

Exactly, then when you add in the fear of abandonment that’s often why I couldn’t leave. I tried leaving and distancing myself several times because in my mind I could abandon him before he did so to me but when you already have attachment problems then are in an abusive relationship, it can be incredibly difficult. Personally when I split it’s normally not permanent and often switches back, just another reason because I could split, hate him and want to leave but then revert back and grovel at …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:31 PM
2

Of course, I also know what your sub your talking about since it’s one I frequent since like you said it can be good for community. I just get iffy when anyone tries to diagnose someone since it is so difficult. However like I said I totally understand the community aspect, I participate in it at as well, just avoid using diagnostics terms if someone hasn’t been diagnosed
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:28 PM
1

Lol yes it is thrown around way too much these days
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:25 PM
1

I’d also note that many people are assuming their parents are Narcs. They could possibly be or they could be dealing with another illness or disorder. I definitely understand because I thought my mom could be one as well but I realized even professionals screw up diagnoses. So now I just talk about the problems I have with my parents but don’t add a disorder because neither of them have been diagnosed with anything
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:19 PM
1

Good to hear, some people think they can diagnose people after a short convo lol. I get that, personally can’t think of anything you could use lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:16 PM
1

Don’t disagree it could be higher than 1% because of difficult it can be to get a diagnosis, especially for a personality disorder. Many people exhibit the symptoms but they may not show enough to reach the diagnosis. Just find it a very slippery slope because then people can start believe they meet Narcissists everywhere. People can be dicks and narcissistic without reaching the diagnosis of NPD. Some people are only diagnosed with traits of a personality disorders, so they have a large amount …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:09 PM
1

Yeah, have no problem with people calling out someone being narcissistic but when you say narc or narcissist it normally refers to the diagnosis. That’s also extremely common to do so I figure most of the time that’s the reasoning behind it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:02 PM
1

Narc is short form for Narcissist. You can say someone is being narcissistic but that doesn’t mean they are displaying symptoms of a disorder
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:54 PM
0

You can try to discuss relationships while leaving out bad relationships but your talking about something in general. It’s two sides to one coin
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:53 PM
2

You can’t seem to understand nuance
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:52 PM
3

I’d say they believe a relationship will magically make them happy and they will continue being happy due to being in a relationship. Generally after the honeymoon stage it wears off and your back were you stared
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:51 PM
0

Someone at the lowest level that believes they will be happy once they have a relationship has a hard time finding and maintaining relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:19 PM
3

I’m talking all of your happiness. If you can not be happy without the other person, they will feel that pressure. Or others will notice that and take advantage of how desperate someone is to receive happiness that they believe they can only achieve in a relationship. You can achieve happiness outside of a relationship, a partner is suppose to add to your life, not be the sole reason your happy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:16 PM
1

Yes. Never said anything about pointing out red flags. That’s good but throwing out a diagnosis name so casually is not. The symptoms are common but just because some exhibits some does not mean they meet the diagnosis? Again call put red flags as you see them, don’t assume it is always due to NPD
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:13 PM
2

Realistically you can’t talk about good relationships without bad ones. More often than not people have bad relationships before they find a good one
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:10 PM
2

Stop throwing out the word narc so casually. NPD is a personality disorder, people can lie about their education and such without being a narcissist.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:05 PM
1

It’s not though.. I believe there is confusion due to translation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:58 PM
1

Never heard that in my entire life. Four eyes is an insult for people who wear glasses
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:57 PM
1

Yes you did. Perhaps because English is your second language you don’t understand the implications of what you said
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:57 PM
1

Literally just proving my point, that comment is in the thread. Not like I have to go through your profile lol. You made those thoughts public on this thread You think pretty highly of yourself if you think I was reading other people’s comments and saw your replies means I’m obsessed with you lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:56 PM
1

Depending on someone for your happiness is how you get taken advantage of and often end up staying in relationships you shouldn’t. Most people want a relationship yes, but you’ll be less likely to encounter or have a good relationship if you place all your happiness in another persons hands
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:39 PM
1

If that is true that women are to pathetic to go in a field without other women before them than it proves my point even further, taht they are hive mind they don't go in a field with other women... because they need another women holding their hand... Lmao. Try again , your comments are public. Can’t really back out of saying women have a hive mind lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:24 PM
2

Yeah, can try to be careful but people are good at hiding things
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:13 PM
1

Lol if that’s true why do guys have to say no homo so much? Only sleep with overweight women in secret, men do the same thing. Yeah women are more neurotic on average. People parrot their social groups all the time if they aren’t comfortable voicing their own opinion. Peer pressure affects both genders. You literally said women are hive minded. That means you believe women believe and think the same things. If you don’t, learn the words your trying to use. Your going on a huge rant but possibly …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:12 PM
1

The hell do you mean by 4 eye situations that is the weirdest sentence ive seen. You are going in circles. Aaah that explains more haha
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:08 PM
1

You also have no idea if most people say that. Your talking info from podcasts , I’m not surprised you have a skewed view. Also saying women are hive minded is not a generalization
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:06 PM
2

Doesn’t seem that hard to figure out, all depends on the person but it is common to want all of those things. Men are humans too lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:59 PM
1

Some women do, some do it for money or in a poly situation but I know some women who enjoy it just for dominance. I’d generally think there are more women who enjoy switching it up as opposed to just enjoying being dominant. Not entirely sure though, just a guess from my personal experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:58 AM
1

No interest in marriage since were I am common law give people the same benefits of being spouses. I have no interest in the traditional and religious views of it. I can celebrate being in love without feeling pressured to marry. However many still do get married for traditional and religious reasons as well. Actually learned about it because my grandfather never married the women he was dating when he passed. They didn’t see the need for marriage and my family always referred to her as aunt sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:52 AM
2

No problem, been getting into sewing clothes so I know how much work goes into it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:40 AM
3

Oh I agree lol. Just wanted to say I had a quick peek at your profile because I was trying to figure out your profile picture lol and the sewing you’ve done is awesome!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:38 AM
3

Normally avoid doing so but just killing time lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:35 AM
1

Other than the last one I’ve heard the top too, not very often though just because when I was working it was often older married people or younger single people I worked with Edit : didn’t hear the first two in the same convo
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:22 AM
1

True, I can’t speak on those, I was just approached by cheaters unfortunately lol. First relationship I admit I was desperate but we were also like fifteen. Thought the second one would be different, well it was only worse lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:20 AM
1

Yeah people are free to do what they want. If they want a traditional relationship it’s up to the couple. Of course just like anywhere you get people unhappy with it but it’s not a common complaint around me. Don’t know many in traditional relationships but they are happy and that’s why matter s
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:19 AM
5

Did you never learn not to believe everything you see on the internet? I’m in Canada, not a radical feminist and don’t know anyone in my social circle like that. Positive there are women like that but I haven’t met them
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:16 AM
2

What do you “wait on men”. Like just do things for them like I already answered?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:15 AM
1

That’s also just my opinion, how am I being dishonest about that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:03 AM
3

According to the rankings we are number 4, like I said we are high but we are not the leading country
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:00 AM
5

You can believe whatever you want. It’s fine for women to do things for men? It’s their choice. It’s very common around me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:59 AM
6

Lol you should do some research. We have feminism but we aren’t leading in it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:57 AM
3

A lot but not the entirety
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:57 AM
5

Canada
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:56 AM
4

Can certainly lead to wonderful situations but can go the other way. A person may approach and seem genuinely interested, only they don’t always have the best intentions
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:53 AM
7

Perhaps where you live but that certainly isn’t the biggest taboo around me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:50 AM
1

How so? Do you have sources for your claim?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:43 AM
1

Your also free to say what you want, doesn’t mean I’ll say the say
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:42 AM
1

We have no accurate way to know how high it actually is across the globe
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:41 AM
2

I personally find it normal. The comments turned to a person brings up a date and their friends and such ask questions. Generally pretty common for women to first ask what he does for a living, which again I don’t personally mind. I just don’t think of that question before others I find more informative which was the point of my comments
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:35 AM
2

I never gave an amount of men who pursue relationships just for sex. I said it depends on the man. However I personally believe that percentage is high
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:33 AM
2

Understandable, I’ve just met an asexual man and I’ve met guys who start relationships for a relationship, not just sex. Age can be a factor, just like it can be with women
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:30 AM
2

Not necessarily, a lot of guys start out wanting relationships aswell. It depends on the man like I said. Also have you never met an asexual man?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:21 AM
5

25 female Canada High school but have plans to further my education Single and not looking lol Pretty curious myself
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:28 AM
1

I think generally on average women are submissive in the bedroom. I think it could be interesting to ponder if porn viewing or medi influence increased the level of submission women show in the bedroom. Basically I think if there is any brainwashing aspect to it, I think it’s more of the extent of how submissive they become. However they are many factors that could influence that so it is quite tricky to determine, I think it is interesting to think about though Edit: forgot a word
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 05:16 AM
1

No problem at all, try my best to always be honest. Very true, just gotta be careful on this sub since some believe in a hive mind lol. I have no problem admitting it is super common, it’s just not one of the first questions that come to my mind personally lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:44 AM
2

I’d say it is extremely common for women to ask that as one of the first question but I can say I’ve met a few who don’t immediately ask about jobs, myself included. However I am aware and seen that it is super common
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:41 AM
3

Honestly I’m surprised by the answers others are giving but I suppose I shouldn’t be. It is true we often hear all men want is sex but that’s one of the first generalizations I learned wasn’t true. Depending on the man they may want only sex but mostly it seems like they want sex as well as companionship and love. There’s a reason men want to get married just as there is women. I guess I didn’t realize how deep that message sunk in Also happy cake day!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 03:52 AM
3

Honestly I’m surprised by the answers others are giving but I suppose I shouldn’t be. It is true we often hear all men want is sex but that’s one of the first generalizations I learned wasn’t true. Depending on the man they may want only sex but mostly it seems like they want sex as well as companionship and love. There’s a reason men want to get married just as there is women. I guess I didn’t realize how deep that message sunk in Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 03:35 AM
1

Yeah it certainly does, learning after years is a world flip. Sad part really is that wasn’t really the rock bottom, it was after a year of trying to work through it but he continued cheating. Either way I am kind of thankful for it because I’m sure otherwise I’d much less self aware
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 02:55 AM
5

No interest in marriage since were I am common law give people the same benefits of being spouses. I have no interest in the traditional and religious views of it. I can celebrate being in love without feeling pressured to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 01:37 AM
1

Made this account due to that so I’m okay talking about it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 01:07 AM
2

I don’t mind , just a lot lol. Was in a bad relationship but it didn’t feel like rock bottom until I learned he was cheating the entire five years. He kept dismissing it and such which led to the worst fight we had. Had gotten better at dealing with self harm habits but during the fight I felt so overwhelmed by emotions and wanted to get rid of them I started bashing my head which was the only thing I can think of. Guessing it’s because I used to bash my head as a child so that’s prob why I went…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 01:04 AM
7

I’d generally agree aswell, toxic advice on both sides, women were more socialized young to care about appearances on average. As far I know I don’t know anyone who was told dating would be easy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:56 AM
2

Appreciate that, was in denial like most and needed to hit what I perceived as rock bottom because of my relationship but it caused me to realize I need help. Done a lot of improvement but still a long way to go lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:52 AM
5

Personally I’d say girls could be just as transactional and harsh as guys when they are young. I would say you probably just connected with the more sensitive and shy girls because there were always tomboys and girls who weren’t sensitive. At least in my personal experience
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:45 AM
2

That’s totally understandable, I just try to discuss those with BPD who had worked and improved because some people have a very set view. Which I understand but as someone with traits of BPD I’ve been working hard to improve myself I try to make it known that it is possible. Sounds like you have learned because boundaries is one of the most important parts lol. That’s a good mindset to take, I often have the same after my own relationships. Which I will admit was toxic on both sides lol but each…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:40 AM
7

Honestly I’d mostly just say we all have similarities and differences regardless of gender. Hadn’t thought of it much. I do know it helped when I ended up in bad relationships because I could still see on some level that all men aren’t like that and even men experience similar things in relationships. I’d say it just gives me better understanding that we’re all just humans dealing with shit regardless of your gender lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:35 AM
1

Honestly I don’t blame you because of your past experiences but do keep in mind some do honestly put work in. Just wanted to make the distinction between those who put in the work. I am sorry you had such a bad experience, I definitely understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:27 AM
9

Have been friends with guys my whole life. Will admit not as many as friends that I had that were girls but I’ve had pretty constant friendships with men
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:20 AM
1

There’s a difference between those not dealing with their diagnosis and ones who put in the work. Would not recommend getting into a relationship with anyone not trying to manage their disorder
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 12:12 AM
2

Women and women are different as well. One could be true for one women but untrue for another. The problem with believing in a hive mind
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:58 PM
1

You really need to touch grass and stop listening to all the redpill things. Men complain about women’s hygiene as well. Is that long winded reply just to say women aren’t as interested in casual sex as men?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:56 PM
1

Your talking about what women would do in certain circumstances. There are a vast number of reasons a human will do anything. You can not assume what you believe is the truth. Seems pretty obvious from my standpoint.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:53 PM
1

Small world, it really is strange, both brothers are tall, the other being like 6’5 and I think the tallest person I’ve seen in our family beforehand was like 6’2. Lmao that’s hilarious and would definitely let you see the world in a different way lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 04:39 PM
3

It can be pretty wild, my younger cousins are giants and we’re not sure we’re the got the genes because they tower over everyone one in the family. My one cousin is literally 6’7 which I know is very uncommon buts it’s pretty funny watching him have to watch out for all the doorframes and things like that. I also don’t see him too often so when he shows up I’m always surprised at just how tall he is lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 04:05 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pi67hz/could_it_be_that_women_mistake_hygiene_for/hbogccx/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 Of course if you ask 10 women the first starts about smell the other 9 likely just parrotting the same shit because that is what women do, their hive minded, in a real 1 to 1 situation they often behave very differently. You've mentioned women having a hive mind a couple times so far. You can try and backtrack but your comment…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 03:41 PM
1

There are trends but you can’t say you know what a women wants because you believe in a hive mind. Have a good day
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:12 PM
1

Why am I not surprised. Those are not average women
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:11 PM
1

Lol then you can’t speak about women complaining because men complaining is just as common here
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:10 PM
2

Believe what you want, not gonna argue anymore. You hardly make sense and talk in circles
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:27 PM
1

lol okay , you believe women have a hive mind and you believe you know the reasonings why behind the hive mind. That sounds like mind reading.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:14 PM
1

Podcasts about women do the same. They are talking about personal experiences. Why are you getting upset if it’s not directed at you? It’s talking about men who do not care about hygiene and don’t take care of it
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:13 PM
1

Omg your taking hygiene too far
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:12 PM
1

Thank you for reminding me of that episode lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:00 AM
2

Yes I’m aware of that too unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 10:38 AM
1

Child support is all about the kids. Yeah anyone paying child support shouldn’t think they are hot shit for simply paying it. Again my whole point was that she was paying, never said she wasn’t making a fuss or anything. Don’t agree with that, I agree with supporting your child
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 10:29 AM
–

Four rants in under four hours
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 10:27 AM
1

Never said that wasn’t a problem. I’m only commenting on the doctor. If women are supporting her by bashing men then yeah that is a problem. Don’t really care for gender debates when it comes to children’s livelihoods. Doesn’t really matter who is more strong and independent, what matters is the child is taken care of. Edit: brain farts at night
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:57 AM
3

The post says she pays her ex husband child support
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:47 AM
2

So the people commenting would be misandrists then in your example, not the doctor. Pretty common for people to hold grudges against exs even if it’s not the most healthy thing
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:39 AM
5

Sure and I have no problem believing women who have higher education have that mindset, I just wouldn’t say that for all female doctors like he said in his third last paragraph Edit: too many mistakes at night Edit: was also before I pointed it out and he edited the end of the post
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:22 AM
3

I’m talking about your last paragraphs. Just so you know your posts will probably get removed. There’s a limit on how many you can post in a certain time. Don’t remember, just remember a post was taken down because someone kept posting in the sub
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:21 AM
4

Have no problem calling out a person being toxic , don’t believe generalizing anything to that extent is healthy. Women and or doctors don’t share a mind
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:18 AM
6

I thought this sub was for generalizing genders not doctors
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:16 AM
4

Honestly I’d generally agree with you but adding the quote about unrealistic standards to a linked post that doesn’t seem related to kinda lost the connection for me. There are double standards on both sides and I have no problem admitting that, the quote just felt disconnected to the post you linked.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:13 AM
4

I understand, which is why I mentioned that women generally get more support and it should be extended just as much to men. I just didn’t see the connection with what you quoted.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:06 AM
4

She admits she’s overweight but I can’t find her standards? Is there a comment I’m missing where it tells us her standards? Like I don’t deny there is generally more support for women and it should be extended to men just as much, I just didn’t see standards mentioned?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:01 AM
1

So looking at the comments of the post you are referring too most are calling out toxicity on both sides from what I can see. Also a bit tricky since the original post has been removed so that leaves out info. Also appears that comment was a joke in response to another commenter asking why you capitalize and emphasize so many things in your post. Could totally be seeing it wrong but it sounded like it was intended as a joke. Not that you can’t be upset by a joke, people have the right to feel so…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 08:37 AM
2

Thank you for writing that out, my experience has been eerily similar but you do an amazing job of laying it out and explaining it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:51 AM
3

I’d say it certainly has its moments but I was more talking about people in general and those I’ve met in my personal life. Really every community has some toxicity, some are just swimming in it though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:03 AM
3

Agreed. There’s toxic people on both sides who use sex to their advantage in ways like that. Certainly don’t agree with that, can be thankful I don’t surround myself with people like that so it’s rare for me to hear something like that. However im well aware people like that exist Edit: word
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:48 AM
2

Your the one assuming the majority of women go by that. Don’t deny it is extremely common but you seem to have some pretty set beliefs about North American women. Your just taking information people are saying and have no personal experience with American women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:57 AM
1

What your saying is fairly common in North America too, there are always exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:53 AM
2

That is an over generalization. Very hive mind like, people can have different reasons than what you gave. Your not a mind reader
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:45 AM
1

First of all I’m in Canada which is extremely similar to the US. It’s common but it’s not like the majority of people I see are in work out clothes. Are people jailed for not taking a shower or are they just criticized because they still smell? Your making a lot of assumptions about North America. It is expected to have a shower and clean up yourself but not everyone does as expected?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:44 AM
1

So what does it matter if people talk about someone in general. Did they mention the person by name? I feel like people can criticize the behaviour without attacking the person. If it’s women bringing it up in the context of dating it would make sense they don’t focus on other women because that isn’t who they are attracted too or want to date Edit: If they are calling out people by name and shaming people fuck them, if they are talking about experiences they’ve dealt with in the past, that’s co…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:41 AM
5

Of course, I can understand that. Just find it disheartening when women’s side effects are brushed off because those side effects are seen as normal. Either way I agree and think they made the right call
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:01 AM
9

Increased risk of suicide is a risk of many birth controls women take. That definitely doesn’t take away from that fact that the study could have taken lives since as you said they couldn’t determine so. I hadn’t heard about that fact and am sorry to learn about it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 11:52 PM
–

I’ve met a few women who were quite put off by that side effect but it’s much better than possible other ones. Honestly can’t speak much for other women’s sex drives. I can speak for my own, which is I generally have a low sex drive but when I’m in a relationship, it’s on high lol. That’s actually a very interesting thought, especially with enhancements being so easily available. I just suppose there just isn’t as much demand as compared to the enhancers. Just a guess though
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:29 PM
–

Hormonal birth control can affect sexual libido. Personally met a few women who’s sex drive lessened a bit after starting BC. Most of the time it’s not a wanted side effect from what I’ve heard
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 10:19 PM
3

Apologies then, obviously I wasn’t aware of that but I do understand. May not always agree with those groups but I can say I agree with that stance. I have seen mentions after I’ve commented but thank you for bringing it to my attention
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:28 PM
2

Thanks for mentioning those. I’ve personally never heard of them at all Edit: knew about vasectomies lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:25 PM
4

It’s incredibly heartbreaking how common it is. I appreciate that, always working on it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:22 PM
3

Well I wouldn’t say lucky in the grand scheme of things but I’ve also encountered women who have experienced far more than myself. I’m also lucky in a sense because I had a small support network while I know some people have none available. I’d also say that’s part of something I do to help myself sometimes so I don’t become so bitter lol. Edit: I’ve also met met who’s experienced worse as well
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:06 PM
2

You do realize you can demand something without starting riots. Apologies for the word demand then, it’s uncommon for men to discuss birth control for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:45 PM
0

Exactly the point of this post. OP was asking why more men aren’t demanding birth control available to them
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:39 PM
2

Honestly that’s to the individual to decide. Like I said it doesn’t change much but just lets us know the situation and context… context can be really important and that’s not something I will debate. Like I said it doesn’t change anything other than give us knowledge about the situations and context
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:33 PM
6

There was no gotcha, I’m just adding context. I also was fully aware that women deny condom use as well. Like I said everyone should use condoms. Really it just means they were intoxicated or they were unaware of the risks of STDs or they simply rely on their own birth control. That’s something I already knew without a study.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:25 PM
10

It does not but it does give context. That’s all I said, really it doesn’t change much, we are just aware of the context in which it normally happens
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:20 PM
2

I’m only giving my personal experience while agree that yes some women do things like that. Yes I am aware. I never put the blame on one gender. I’ve been trying to say the entire time both parties have a responsibility, it just seems to make sense to add as much prevention as you can and advocate for what is not available.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:19 PM
8

The study found that women who convinced men to forgo protection were more likely to be under the influence of alcohol. They were also more likely to have a lower perceived risk for sexually transmitted infections, as well as a history of STIs. That puts it into a bit more context. They also say that women are more likely to brush off condoms once they start birth control. Both genders talk about not wanting to use condoms though and there are people who will take advantage, lie or are just unaw…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:14 PM
1

I don’t deny that either. Condoms have a high rate of protection but it’s not 100%. Of course a lot can be down to user error as well. As far as I know the women around me are aware of that and have read the instructions and side effects. That’s just my social circle though, I admit there people of both gender that take advantage and lie or are just unaware
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:12 PM
-1

Ah true, just haven’t personally met many women who don’t use any form of BC so that example didn’t seem super likely around me. Of course there will be women who don’t use it but it seems far more common for women to use BC of some sort
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:04 PM
25

Most women are on BC which is a type of contraceptive. Contraceptives are not a guarantee. Adding male BC with female BC will lower the risks, adding a condom lowers it even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:59 PM
1

That’s not really something that would work out. People need to discuss the aspects of their relationship. Generally most would not consider porn cheating, I believe the commenter was drawing a comparison though. There are still very attractive women who are cheated on I think was the point so the same can happen with porn
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:25 PM
1

Addictions often affect those around them. Entire reason there is support groups for family members and partners of all types of addicts
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:09 PM
1

I also believe a comparison was being drawn
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:06 PM
2

Can escalate beyond. Either way it depends on what the couple decides on what is cheating in their relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:06 PM
2

Yeah I can imagine it would. That certainly can be tricky because your asking for your own safety but then the other party questions their own. Of course I understand your reasoning and I’ve never been comfortable going to a strangers house by myself so I certainly don’t blame you. Yeah it’s better to be wary since some people are able to lie so easily unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:03 PM
2

Lol this is just the most commented on post. Another one was attempted to be posted around a month ago
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:47 PM
4

Damn, can certainly see why you wouldn’t trust going into a strangers house anymore. Sorry that happened, I couldn’t imagine going on a first date to be stuck up with a gun
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:31 PM
1

Many people put others down to feel superior. That’s something I learned in grade school and I also know it’s not a gendered thing, it’s a human thing
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:29 PM
1

Okay that’s your choice, cleaning is still an option though. Lol being in shape doesn’t always affect how much people sweat , usually doesn’t. They can be a factor but it’s not a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:28 PM
1

Like another commenter said your making no sense. Seems like your not in the US so of course that can change things with culture but generally hygiene is the basic minimum someone of either gender can do. You do realize some people just can’t stand the smell any longer and say something? Also it’s generally not something I hear in real life. Normally advice like that would come from a friend because they want to help. You are generalizing a lot, people can have neutral talks, I am as a women rig…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:27 PM
8

I would say I’m generally lucky compared to others I’ve met but I’ve also been more risk adverse. Like others have said it’s more likely to happen by someone close to you, regardless of gender. I was raped during my first relationship, cheated on and my second I found out my ex had been cheating the entirety of the five years. Having experienced an emotionally abusive relationship which threats of suicide if I left. However I also realize men aren’t all like that. I’ve definitely worked on being…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:17 PM
1

I don’t think people believe it is most men. It’s generally the easiest advice people can give if they don’t know someone personally. Like I said in my comment, I’ve seen people of both genders that need better hygiene. In regards to woman drowning themselves with perfume have you never encountered men who did the same with Axe body spray and the like? I personally have.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 03:10 PM
1

I’d also look into what can happen if someone sleeps withone who is very unhygienic. You seem to think it doesn’t matter with sex? Yes I’m sure most women would be fine getting a yeast infection at the least from a dirty dick. You also seem to compare it to smokers a lot. Non smokers can recognize the smell and it often bothers them. Smokers often don’t even notice the smell because we get used to our regular smells, if we are smellier than usual we can smell ourselves but usually not. It’s the …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 03:08 PM
1

People can reply without believing what he said was real. Figured he was a troll, just because people don’t call it out immediately doesn’t mean they don’t believe the person is a troll lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:29 PM
1

Mkay troll, your making fun of people’s addiction
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:20 PM
1

No but assume so if you wish
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:13 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/p0f0ui/when_women_say_hygiene_is_very_important_in_man/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Remembered seeing it briefly , looking it seems like the post was made more than twice. I said you were hung up on hygiene not smells
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:13 PM
2

True, not sure why my mind blanked on that word since I normally refer to them as such lol. Yes I’m well aware unfortunately of how detrimental it can be to a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:09 AM
1

Lol well that response got a laugh out of me. I have an ex who struggled with porn addiction that escalated to a sex addiction. I’ve been on support subs for partners of porn addicts and I’ve seen many stories of it escalating to past porn. Whether it’s dating apps, posting sexual ads, hiring escorts and such it seems like a common escalation if it’s not deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:23 AM
4

Those are possible effects, a porn addiction can escalate into a sex addiction as well
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:17 AM
3

Many think they will stop after getting into a relationship. Many are in denial. People can hide their addictions sometimes. Often known as high functioning addicts. I can say from personal experience they often try hard to hide it and some are better than others. I’d say it’s pretty common as well from the number of people in pornfree and pornaddiction subreddits. Those are also only those who access those subs. There are many who are in denial and refuse to look for help. It can be hard to det…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:05 AM
1

It can also be different, lasting longer some months than other. Some women have more regular periods and some have very irregular periods
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:51 AM
1

Lol why do you think women complain about them? They get to bleed, deal with cramps and can have medical conditions that make it mind bogglingly painful. From what I’ve seen around five days to a week seems common. Always exceptions of course though Edit google says average is 2 to 7 days so quite a range actually lol, damn those 2 day girls are lucky
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:50 AM
1

That’s your choice, you don’t believe it is harming you and seem like you aren’t interested in quitting so I don’t care since you obviously have no reason to change. People will only change if they want it. Either way just commented because I just found a 3 day period kinda funny because it isn’t the most common and many women would appreciate a period so short lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:46 AM
1

Of course there is leeway since it’s normally over the weekend and can be quite warm. I wasn’t thinking of just BO cause that can be hard to control in that environment at times. Yeah I’ve been in a couple of those stores but not too often. Deodorant is needed as well as just washing better and brushing teeth lol. I generally try to give leeway in that because I know depression and mental illness can affect a person hygiene routine but sometimes it can be hard to brush off
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:42 AM
2

People normally are able to get off to pixels, but they can also enjoy people in the flesh. People usually don’t believe it is settling either
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:37 AM
1

If you believe so. I’ve met other addicts (not porn addicts) that have a similar process for realizing they are addicted. Often times people have to hit rock bottom before they can admit as such. Denial is powerful. My ex also continued after he admitted it so I would say he wanted his cake and eat it too the whole time. He was just in denial for parts of it. People are often irrational aswell
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:36 AM
2

I was thinking of conventions originally because I had encountered many people that did have a smell that was obvious they didn’t care about hygiene, at least that day. Those are a pretty specific group so I wasn’t sure about mentioning it but then also made me think of all the smells I came across working retail lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:33 AM
3

Won’t address your addiction because you seem like it’s something you don’t want to change. Just wanna say that 3 days of the month is very low and uncommon lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:27 AM
1

Honestly I’m not sure. I do believe a lot of it is just denial but there are times people are unaware of addictions. It normally gets to a point and kinda hits the person. Can only speak from experience with one addict but it went from being unaware to being in denial before admitting. Admitting is a good step but can be very hard to get to the next step. I just know there are people who are painfully unaware of themselves so it’s possible not every addict is aware of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:25 AM
2

Agreed. I don’t believe it means every man who regularly watches porn and haven’t met many others that share that thought. I’ve dealt with an ex who did some things that you described and as far as I’ve seen pornsick has generally meant porn addiction. I also tend to avoid extreme groups like FDS because they use terms to the extreme as well. I will say though that I don’t come as cross the term pornsick as much as porn addiction personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:16 AM
2

A lot of people do. Porn can be healthy but it can be unhealthy as well. Some people get very defensive about their porn usage
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:09 AM
3

You seem quite hung up on hygiene if you feel the need to make post like this multiple times. Smells don’t always come from lack of hygiene but there are general smells people can recognize. Having worked in retail I can say a lot of people need to work on their hygiene, men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:02 AM
4

As someone who I’ve been told Im pretty average and was around 115 pounds when my ex was dealing with porn addiction. It was something he was dealing with since he was around 10 and he never had a relationship where porn didn’t affect it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:06 AM
3

I’m just sharing her story because it doesn’t fit in with the two reasons you gave. She had that abortion around 30 years ago or so that message certainly wasn’t around and she always wanted to be a mother. Honestly can’t give her reason for it because like I said she doesn’t talk about it because of how painful it is for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 04:03 AM
3

I’ll just say that my aunt had an abortion before she gave birth to her two boys. It was an incredibly hard decision for her and she never talks about it because of the feelings related to it. I’m sure she would have loved that child as much as my cousins.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 03:02 AM
7

Pornsickness applies to porn addiction. It’s an addiction like any other addiction. I’d suggest looking into personal accounts of people struggling with porn addiction to get better insight. If someone is an addict, the attractiveness of their partner won’t result in them dropping it cold turkey. Just like with many other addictions relationships can be torn because addicts may believe a relationship can save them but that’s far from the truth. Either way I’d listen to people who actually deal w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:59 AM
1

Don’t dispute that. I was asking for claims that support his theory of all cluster B women. Like the article it says it exists on a scale so you don’t have to reach the status of being diagnosed to display those traits. Everyone has some narcissist tendencies but when it is extreme that is when it is a disorder. Narcissism and psychopathy are two mental health disorders that exist on a scale. A person can have tendencies of these disorders, or have a full-blown version of them, like narcissistic…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 09:02 PM
1

I understand , changing education curriculum goes through policy changes just like regulations. People can try to lobby as well. That’s just what I’m thinking about
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:42 PM
1

It is, I have a little knowledge about rise of radio and political movements, just haven’t looked into that era as much as past ones. Very true, I know there are some regulations to help children but I’m not to up to date on those and definitely believe there should be more restrictions on media. It seems unlikely so I agree that teaching children about media will most likely be the key. Not too sure how likely that will be because they will be the future consumers and people want to keep earnin…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:23 PM
1

Thanks, I’ve recently been more interested in history, mostly round the industrial revolution and before and toxicity in media seems just as common, just had different trends as we do today. I do think that’s a great idea, it’s even more integrated into our lives so I think it’s needed more than we ever have.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:56 PM
1

I certainly understand aswell, I certainly think policies would be beneficial but like I mentioned before I’m not sure how likely it is just due to the greed in the world. People realize how to get the most views and clicks, starts discussions to keep the topic hot and take advantage of it. Of course there are people who don’t take advantage but it also seems common for people’s greed to grow when they realize an easy path to money or success. Honestly I think it begins with public perception be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:49 PM
0

Never denied that. Media and society encourages somethings like I said and of course they would go the other way and demonize things. Lots of things are demonized but I also talked with you previously about how I’ve noticed the shift and how I’ve also personally decided to stop consuming so much media because it has so much bias. Everyone has bias at the end of the day. It’s up to the individual to buy into that bias or not. Either way we had a conversation we’re I admitted I saw a lean in media…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:25 PM
1

Yes and I never said it’s not typical for those with cluster B but those without a diagnosis can do the same. Mental disorders are comprised of symptoms that everyone exhibits, it’s when it impacts your daily life that it becomes a disorder.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:12 PM
1

Please send me studies to back that up. There is correlation with other mental disorders as well. Also someone hating men but being on a dating app is simply a misandrist looking for one they believe is not like the rest, could be from a mental disorder or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:09 PM
1

Misandry can come from feeling wronged. Being naive probably factors in but it depends on the person. Some people just brush off feeling wronged, others don’t
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:05 PM
1

Why would women who hate men be "the vast majority" on dating apps? cluster B women. Like I said there is correlations just like there is with other mental disorders. Someone being apart of cluster B does not mean they hate men. You gave the impression you believe the majority of women on dating sites are diagnosed with BPD or other cluster B disorders and hate men at the same time. I certainly do not believe that is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:02 PM
2

Even if those groups have women of mental disorders included it does not mean all cluster B people agree with that. There are also women who just felt wronged by men. I’ll say again those places are magnets for those with mental disorders but it doesn’t mean everyone in there has a mental disorder. Especially those with cluster B. Either way your original argument was that women with cluster B hate men. That can be true but is not true for all
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:52 PM
5

Just because some is diagnosed with a cluster B disorder does not mean they hate men. It can be more likely people with mental disorders go to extremes but as someone with traits of BPD, apart of cluster B, I can say I don’t hate men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:47 PM
-1

I’d say depending on the circumstances a genders idea can be reinforced by society. Also just because the media or society encourages it, doesn’t mean all women care about it. Depending on the situation a woman can be ignored and made fun of as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:39 PM
3

I’m not acting like that at all. I said I don’t socialize with people who take extreme views so in my personal life I don’t come across them. Perhaps it’s different for you, I’m just speaking about my personal experience. Never denied those women existed Edit autocorrect
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:37 PM
1

Not implying that at all, just that I haven’t experienced them in real life. Of course I realize there are women like that out there, I don’t socialize with them in real life so it makes sense I don’t come across them often at all in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:28 PM
2

Perhaps around you but I’ve encountered people of both genders participating in that. I actually remember it being talked about a lot in high school on both sides. May have to do with location, not sure, that’s just my personal experience
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:59 PM
4

Honestly that seems pretty common, even if all of people don’t appreciate it , many will participate in oppression and pain olympics. Both genders do it. Yes gender can affect how your life can result in struggles that are different and more pronounced than the other gender. In the end you can’t stop everyone from participating in pain and oppression olympics, there will always be people who will on both sides
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:55 PM
4

Most of the people belonging to those groups I’d consider on the more extreme side. I agree it’s mostly something I hear online but it can also depend on social circles I’m guessing
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:47 PM
19

I’d say it’s pretty common for young people to have problems understand situations that don’t apply to them personally. I do agree it’s a problem but most of the people I know, that type of thinking died out round highschool, it’s simply part of growing up and learning. Of course there are always people who don’t grow or mature as much after high school and I feel like they are most likely to not understand the other genders struggles. Some people also just struggle putting themselves in other p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:43 PM
–

I suppose so. The problem with use “male-brainededness it adds to the myth. Same with BPD. I’ll agree that some symptoms are more associated with one gender but you could say that about any disorder if you really wanted to
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:06 PM
1

I wasn’t the only one in the relationship. My exs were similar to me as I mentioned. If you wanna believe that though go straight ahead
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:23 PM
2

Very true, figured layman terms would be easier for most. It’s a possibility but it’s also quite difficult to get a proper diagnosis.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:18 PM
4

They are not gendered diagnoses. One gender is often over diagnosed with one because they aren’t as knowledgeable about how it appears in the other. However there has been realizations that a disorder may present differently due to societal gender expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:10 AM
14

Complimenting someone doesn’t always spell rejection. Often times a compliment is just a compliment, for me anyways. Most of the time I give a compliment with that as the sole reason so I have no reason to be rejected. If anything is rejected, its the person rejecting the compliment, not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:44 AM
3

Wouldn’t say it’s just being on the autism spectrum. I’d say there’s a link to mental health. Black and white thinking is a common symptom in many mental health struggles. Including depression One common symptom of Autism is known as a special interest I believe? I’m sure that’s a factor but just like many other disorders and such, there are symptoms that make them more likely to fall in to extremes. I’d be interested in seeing a more updated study, there has been advancements in the field since…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:37 AM
2

I have no problem with that but we have the choice to opt out of things we don’t enjoy and we also have the choice to complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:17 AM
12

People of both genders do it all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 05:12 AM
1

It’s very tricky because of course people should be held accountable, it’s just a matter of who enforced it I guess. Makes me think of abusive relationships, they can be incredibly damaging but unless it’s physical you normally can’t pursue it through the law. Just made me think because yeah I hadn’t really thought of it before. I certainly think we may possibly cross a line one day but I do think there is need to regulation
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:47 AM
2

Yeah, I normally try to catch up once in a while but tend to try and avoid like mass media since everyone has their own bias they’re trying to push. I know a few people who felt better after tuning out the media a bit. Since negative news also normally has most discussion and clicks on it
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:43 AM
1

Yeah, I don’t agree with either circumstance and believe the woman should be help accountable. It’s incredibly tricky to regulate but I’m sure they’ll continue regulating and adding more to it. Personally I do hope that it becomes more equal in punishments because I do admit some women will get lesser sentences for crimes. Honestly find it stupid and most people I talk to agree. So I do think mindsets are changing but we still need to do a lot more. It’s true though that unfortunately it is a ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:29 AM
1

True, apologizes because my mind wasn’t thinking legally. I guess a more moral stance change and mindset over the years? I was also specifically thinking of nonprofits that help victims of domestic assault, abusive relationships and such. The reason I’m using I and Me is because I can only give my own view of society. Individual perspectives, race, gender, location, many things can factor into what a person sees as society. Media can be an unhelpful source at times because of the greed machine i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:24 AM
2

Missed the part about me being personally okay with it then yeah I’m on board for both. Both can impact lives and should be held accountable
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:19 AM
1

Major cities often attract different people, just as rural and smaller cities will attract someone different
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:17 AM
1

Any rape and sexual assault case is incredibly hard to have processed. That’s basically the saying with any case that doesn’t have hard solid evidence, it’s basically good luck with that. However we weren’t talking in the context of the law. Funny how my whole comment was brushed off with cool and turn to the legal system when that was never mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:16 AM
1

Major cities may impact it as well. I never lived in a major city
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:13 AM
1

Most people I know would call that manipulation. People are taught to responsibility but are also creating more recourses for victims of both genders. Maybe it’s because you have an outside look of younger generations lives but don’t interact with them as much? Not to be rude or anything, I feel like the views around me are more modern. We’re men and women are held responsible for their actions(unless they surround themselves with likeminded toxic people) but people are also realizing men can be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:11 AM
3

Well I’m glad to hear that it hasn’t affected anyone you know, I’ve met men who were manipulated into such. So I personally believe either sex can be. I’m also going to guess women are more open about relationships where they are harmed or manipulated because a man could be seen as weak. Honestly many people view both genders in that regard weak but I don’t believe so.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:59 AM
2

Again depending on the family. Where are family members going to beat up a boyfriend? I haven’t heard that happen around me at all. It’s a joke people make because they see it in movies. When was that? I remember some women who obviously need help who said something along those lines when the news about Chris brown dropped but the was a small percentage I saw personally. Lol no cheerleaders in schools near me so that example doesn’t work. Football wasn’t popular in my school so being a quarterba…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:57 AM
1

Do you not believe people can be manipulated into sex? It can happen to both sexes. Again may happen more around you but not around. I’d also appreciate you not keep editing and adding to a comment I replied to
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:50 AM
2

Celebrities are held to a different standard to an average civilian. I’m guessing that’s the Masons murders? I think that’s a bit different when your talking about a cult leader. Most people I know hate that Rihanna helped Chris Browns image. I certainly don’t agree with it. Even if the media doesn’t hold women responsible but most families and social circles hold women accountable. Will not say all of course
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:47 AM
4

Sorry but people do tell women that. I’ve heard that personally and seen it on the sub all the time. I was cheated on and people say you need to choose better and actually that was what I did with my first boyfriend. He asked me out but he didn’t have many options, he was still able to cheat. It’s true in a sense because people are responsible for the relationships they enter. Perhaps it’s who you grown up around but I have been held responsible for my behaviour since I reached high school. Know…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:39 AM
1

It’s going to be all situational just like every individual. I believe it can give a person a better understanding which can result in heightened empathy but there are some people who just don’t care about others, regardless of their sexual orientation. Aswell as some people are just not at good at reading others or picking up on signs even if they pursue both genders. Some people just have trouble with empathy or don’t experience it on the same scale. There’s many factors that go into both side…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:28 AM
2

Well it depends on how desperate they are but yes im sure a large portion does come across like that. I’d agree, I think it’s predatory on both sides, mostly because the audience and creators normally seem to be on the younger side. That’s just a guess of mine though, don’t pay much attention to it
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 11:53 PM
1

Very true, when it’s obvious I’m not comfortable with that either but I also understand some people are good at hiding their addictions. I agree though, if it’s obvious your taking advantage of someone’s addiction, that’s horrible in my opinion but some people just don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 11:47 PM
2

Porn and sex addiction does affect women. I’ve heard it’s more likely for women to have love addiction but it’s possible for either gender. I agree with your premise. I can just say from personal experience addicts don’t always come off desperate. I have had experience with one addict as a boyfriend, to me and in a lot of his messages he didn’t come across as desperate. Of course he did at times but not all the time so I’d just say it’s not always easy to tell. My ex was able to hide he was an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 11:39 PM
2

Yeah I accidently clicked your profile, sorry bout that but I realized we probably have more in common than we realize
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:44 PM
2

Appreciate that. Both my exs were porn addicts and the last developed into a sex addiction. I understand that and sorry you’ve dealt with it as well. I know how painful it is. I’m currently not dating at the moment and don’t expect a relationship in the future. It’s more of if it happens at the right time with the person I’ll be happy but I’m also okay not dating again. Personally though I’ve never been one for marriage anyway but I believe it’s an important choice people can make if they want. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:41 PM
1

I understand it maybe not be beneficial for a lot of women but it’s still their choice. I feel for those in rough and abusive relationships but I still believe in personal choice. I can agree in general in certain situations the woman is at the disadvantage. The best we can do is continue to educate people on what healthy relationships are
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:35 PM
1

Of course, it’s always good to be aware of your local laws and how they can affect you. Mentioning it is helpful but like I said were I am at least it is for the benefit of both parties. Not just the woman. So yes the general message of it is important and I agree that everyone should look into their local common law and what that entails for them
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:33 PM
1

I also dealt with a porn and sex addict. I know the risks of dating and marriage. It’s a personal choice to take either risk
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:27 PM
1

In that area of marriage it is more risky for women. That is a specific scenario though. We are talking about in general. If you don’t want to get married,don’t. I don’t plan on marriage but I believe in personal choice
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:24 PM
1

Your talking to someone who was cheated on for an entire five year relationship unknowingly. There is risks for each individual and like I said it’s up to them to weigh the risks. The people who decide not to get married weighed that the risks were too high for them. In the end it’s a personal choice
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:20 PM
2

Height requirement wasn’t the only thing in the profile. Yes I’ve heard it’s very common but I also have not personally dealt with it. I didn’t use dating apps often and I wasn’t swiping on women. I realize it is very common but didn’t realize how common. May also be your area aswell since I don’t hear about it as much around me, only a guess
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:09 PM
1

I’ll be honest I wasn’t even aware it applied in the US because I never heard anyone mention it. Makes sense though if only a small amount of states allow it
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:08 PM
1

Sure
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:06 PM
1

Yes I agree the only thing I said about relationships was that emotional stability and support comes from both sides in a health relationship. That example talks about emotional instability
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:06 PM
1

Got a reason for repeating yourself or are you portraying a parrot
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 06:25 PM
1

Yeah I realize that, I’m guessing the men who don’t know how a women’s body works don’t know how science works lol. Even if you use a lie detector that’s not accurate either
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 06:20 PM
1

Doubt you’d say that with a paternity test or if you were shelling out a million bucks lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 06:13 PM
2

Most friends I knew grew up like that, was just a handful that were the opposite or equal
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 06:11 PM
1

I agree, never said it should be tolerated, just that there are more than two reasons for someone to lash out
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 06:10 PM
2

Do no real work or tests and get paid? Fuck yeah lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:46 PM
2

Lmao had to remind myself what her voice sounded like but that sounded way to similar to how it sounded when I thought of it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:43 PM
2

Lol okay dude you can throw as much money out as you want. Dosent mean it’ll be accurate lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:41 PM
3

That doctor made bank on nothing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:39 PM
2

I think he already did lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:38 PM
2

Where do they mention lie detectors? Couldn’t find a mention of it in the link. Don’t see any proof to your claim really. The link even says A pelvic exam or a vaginal exam cannot reveal with absolute certainty that a woman is a virgin or has been sexually active. A gynecologist can't tell if you are a virgin by doing a physical exam because of the variation in different hymens and the absence of a hymen isn't an indicator of sexual activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:38 PM
1

Damn I’m learning a lot of sayings lol. Haven’t heard that one either. Thanks for letting me know lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:30 PM
3

Lol gonna look for the hymen don’t cha know? Because it can only be damaged through sex obviously
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:28 PM
3

That’s a wild read. Don’t know if the buyer or seller is more mind boggling. Did say to get onto the escort site she was using you need a min of like 10million dollars in assets so her mind was already warped by money I’m guessing. I don’t think virginity should be all that but I also don’t think you should hold a bidding war for it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:18 PM
4

Very interesting saying hadn’t heard that one before. Suppose it’s similar to the saying behind every strong man is a strong women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:12 PM
6

Thanks for the imagine of Channing Tatum proposing to a man twerking with a wig on in the middle of the street lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:10 PM
8

Perhaps were your common laws are but that’s not something that is a problem where I am Unlike married couples, common-law couples (couples who live together but are not married) are not entitled to the equalization of their family property. that govern the division of property apply only to married couples, not to common-law couples. Each partner in a common-law relationship is therefore entitled only to whatever he or she brought into the relationship or acquired during it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 04:49 PM
1

Every individual is responsible for how their internal thoughts affect the outside world.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 04:05 PM
5

Wouldn’t be surprised,this is the closest sub I’ve been on lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 04:03 PM
2

Common law is about spousal benefits for both, not just money for the women
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:44 PM
2

Definitely could be a tactic. Having someone swipe on you is when pictures count, if you can’t hold a conversation then you likely won’t get past the next step
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:34 PM
7

Common law is for both partners to get the benefits of the spouse. Not just the woman. There is more to spousal benefits than money
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:31 PM
3

Well that’s shitty. I only used dating apps for a bit, didn’t really get into them, and most bios were very generic. Like enjoys hiking, travelling and sports lol. Honestly to me those seem like people who can’t hold conversation. Seen those on guys bios as well. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the best at conversations but I don’t expect the other person to carry the conversation, which is what I guess she does
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:21 PM
3

Oh lol yeah I probably would expect that more round that time since lines were a bit more drawn between genders still. I remember it was getting better but yeah thankfully we continue to grow. Will be fascinating to see where well be in another 10 years
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:16 PM
2

And again she maybe in a location where that term is commonly used in the context I described. We don’t know. In the end it’ll only affect her. If people are getting the wrong impression perhaps she’ll change , maybe she won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:04 PM
2

Well again it doesn’t really matter what we think in the end because we aren’t swiping on her, just commenting on a screenshot. Your explaining how it will only matter to her in the end because she’ll get no matches because she was misunderstood? Doesn’t matter to people who are swiping through multiple profiles normally, it’s only gonna affect her dating life in the end
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:56 PM
2

I don’t think you understood what I’m saying I’m saying for both genders it’s hard to take on the other genders traits if it’s been drilled into them they have to act a certain way. For example if a man is raised to act as a stereotypical man for most of his life, if he tries to adopt feminine traits it will be difficult. Like I said in the end, true lasting change for anyone is hard work. It will depend on the individual, not the collective gender how much work needs to be put in.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:51 PM
2

Perhaps it’s location as well, that’s what people mean around me. Im just saying from my personal experience that could mean something different from what you interpreted. So it depends what she meant. Doesn’t really matter what we think in the end
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:48 PM
1

Yeah most guys I’ve known aren’t Hollywood romance types lol. I believe there are four or five types. Haven’t met anyone who doesn’t fit into it. It doesn’t just mean romantic relationships, it involves how you show love for friends and family and such. I would suggest trying a quick quiz and seeing what you get. May not be an omg moment but it could still be helpful. Lol I get that. Always been a bit of a hermit myself lol. However I was one who was desperate when I was young and that’s how I e…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:46 PM
2

True, I suppose I’ve always considered them a package deal since my mom has helped single moms through the years so that’ll change my perspective. Makes sense though, when your young you don’t think things though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:38 PM
5

Not surprised, people always find something to complain about, even if it’s other humans who affect you in no way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:37 PM
1

Depends on what she means by baby daddy. Short for "Baby's Daddy". The father of your child, whom you did not marry, and with whom you are not currently involved. That man isn't my boyfriend, he's my baby daddy. That’s the most common context I hear it in so doesn’t seem to contradict each other
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:35 PM
4

I’ve noticed that as well but it’s interesting to think about having to reword a study to remove bias. Makes sense of course, thanks for sharing that
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:33 PM
4

Understandable but even if it’s just for fun it’s normally still a package deal. For casual you may just not deal with the kid first hand but I’m sure there was emergencies that came up due to having a child and they had to cancel or reschedule? This is more curious now since I’ve never been into casual. I realize that happens for people without kids and well but I figured even with hook ups a child would affect it Edit also didn’t get that from you saying dated. Don’t think casual when you say …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:30 PM
1

I suppose I always thought of moderation as the sweet spot because often if people don’t practice that, it can lead to addictions and other things. So I’ve personally been trying to make moderation more present in my life but easier said then done lol. Makes sense, may just be a bit more difficult but I’ve met a couple girls who don’t care for romance and think it’s too corny. You also may just need to find your type of romance. Not everyone enjoys the stereotypical romance you see in movies eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:27 PM
9

She says her children always come first. Either way it’s kinda implied a mother and child is a “packaged deal”. What do you think she’s gonna drop the kid off at the fire station for a relationship with you? It’d be silly to not assume they are a package deal lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:24 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pegdhl/masculinity_is_not_toxic_the_lack_of_masculinity/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Here’s the post for you
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:19 PM
2

No problem. It was quite the thread. I mentioned toxic femininity because I know it’s not discussed as often and it needs to be. Another commenter suggested looking up performative femininity and suggested trying to replace performative for toxic to help with defensiveness on both sides so we can have more open talks about it. It’s certainly a tricky subject because people can feel like a part of their identity is being attacked, which isn’t what I personally want to do but I also understand the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:18 PM
1

Personally I’ve always considered moderation the “sweet spot” but people have their own perceptions of the word.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:15 PM
3

Lol exactly, don’t plan on having kids either. These are just people going about their lives just like everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:12 PM
10

Was wondering about that. Makes me wonder if some purposely look for profiles that piss them off? Honestly the women seems pretty up front about most things, more than I can say for most bios, just let’s suitors know not to waste their time if they aren’t interested 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:08 PM
1

Usually on most spectrums if you fall too heavily one way it causes problems in life. That’s why we have the saying Moderation is key
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:05 PM
4

There was a discussion about that just the other day. All masculine traits are not toxic. Some extremists may say that but on average people are talking about toxic societal standards for men. I commented on that thread saying toxic societal standards need to talked about for women too. Long post about toxic masculinity, toxic femininity, performative masculinity and performative femininity. It was like a day or two ago
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:04 PM
1

Self love is often connected to self esteem and self worth. You may not be at the level of self love you need but you have enough self esteem to not be desperate enough to stay in a situation that’s negative. It’s a spectrum like everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:52 PM
4

Whatever your expected to comply to, it will be harder adopting the traits associated with the other gender. Expectations of children and as they grow shape them, If they wish to grow outside those expectations it will be difficult. Either way true lasting change for anyone is hard work.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:42 PM
17

First of all depends on what she means by baby daddy. When I hear that I think of the baby’s bio dad but he’s no longer around. That’s how it’s commonly used around me. I think her height requirements and saying she’s a sub brat says more about her Edit word
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:38 PM
2

Believe what you want, I’m speaking from personal experience. Even though I was able to get into relationships when I didn’t love myself, the relationships were horrible. Neither side had love for themselves and depended on the other for happiness. That is not healthy
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:31 PM
–

Doesn’t make sense to me but I’ve seen people of both genders do crazy things for a lay. Normally men but I’ve seen a couple women do something. Sex is the only priority I guess, other things are lesser for them in comparison? There are also people who deal with sex addiction so they would add to those people at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:30 PM
2

In my experience that’s not true. Maybe for some women they expect that but I’ve often seen women being told it’s their fault and they need to work on it. Just like anyone else. Emotional stability and support comes from both sides in a healthy relationship. A jab isn’t always for those reasons? People have emotions that aren’t rational sometimes. Perhaps someone had a bad day? There are a vast amount of reasons anyone could take a jab at someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:27 PM
8

It’s a human reaction, it depends on the individual and their personal life experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:21 PM
4

I can say that was the way with me and my brother as well. However it’s known in our family our parents wanted a boy and kept trying until they had one. He was basically there little miracle because they said they weren’t trying again after three. Age gap and wanting a boy definitely factor into that though. I saw a lot of families were it was equal or the situation was swapped but in my personal life, the boy in the family normally got off easier than the girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:13 PM
4

I began puberty a bit faster than the rest of my peers, I was in fourth grade. I did get weird comments from both genders actually. For as long as I can remember people told me I had great child bearing hips. When I was still a child and made me really uncomfortable. Also probably another reason I don’t want kids. I was hearing that as young as like 7 years old or so, family and strangers. I wasn’t out in public as much so most of this happened during my job though once I hit my teenagers and in…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:58 PM
4

Those are both great explanations as well. Loving yourself affects more than just trying to get a date
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:39 PM
3

It’s life advice. Some just use it as dating advice but that doesn’t make sense to me. Another commenter put it well, lack of self love is often related to low self esteem which can make people desperate and easier to take advantage of
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:38 PM
1

I’ll admit I have heard it as dating advice but I’ve generally heard it just as life advice. There’s also the fact many people believe that getting into a relationship will fix a lot of their emotional problems. Not a guarantee which is why this saying is important
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:36 PM
9

It’s not to just increase your chances of finding a relationship but better chance to grow a healthy relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:11 AM
4

It increases the chances of a healthy relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 08:59 AM
2

Haha yeah assertiveness is something I need work on. Very true, when you can freely be yourself around someone your at your most comfortable. Thanks again lol. Yeah being selfish sometimes can be okay, just shouldn’t over do it lol. Think I was also afraid of being perceived as selfish I didn’t realize it’s about moderation just like anything else lol. I really appreciate that, I can also realize my own failings with getting into those relationships, have a deep need to feel loved and often resu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 06:12 AM
2

Yes I’m definitely working on that, I had certainly gotten better at it during the end of my last relationship when I realized I really need to let my needs be known. In the end he couldn’t meet them and I had to end it after trying to work through it for a year. Still have a ways to go but I understand it’s work i need to put in. Haha yeah damn, the small things can really mean something when they are together like that. Your also really reminding me what kind of relationship I wanted lol. I wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 05:45 AM
1

Haha you would think so, both my exs were obsessed with sex, so much one was a porn turned sex addiction which I didn’t learn until five years in and that ended things. I appreciate that, I am becoming more vocal about my needs, not so much in the bedroom right now because I’m single lol. However I was very insecure and was dealing with a lot of other things so I put up with more than I ever should. Either way that’s apart of life and was a lesson that I’m still trying to learn from. My lord I k…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 05:04 AM
2

Sounds like you guys have a great relationship were you make sure both your needs are met. Yeah I actually don’t have too much experience with guys who don’t just jackhammer because my last ex also started out like that lol. I can enjoy a pounding but if that’s all sex is, it’s enjoyable but it can certainly be better lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 04:40 AM
1

I completely agree with you in general since I can’t speak for everyone lol. I had two partners and they were the opposite lol. One just believed in jackhammering which I don’t think resulted in me getting off once and the other took the time to learn what I actually like and it’s night and day. (That first partner was when we were teens so can’t really hold it against him, we were both young lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 04:16 AM
3

Apparently so much it’d burst out if we boarded trains lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 04:08 AM
2

Definitely, thanks for the reminder of that term, I remembered the so called cure with vibrators for many illness. Also when they feared a women’s uterus would shoot from her body if she rode a train lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 04:03 AM
2

A life companion is someone I always viewed as something that adds to my life. Have heard it very commonly from other women as well. I can also say having experience pound with no feeling or effort, I feel like neither gender enjoys that on the average. What’s the point in sharing this moment with someone if your not putting in the effort in my opinion. I prefer a more equal give and take but it can be nice to spoil or be spoiled once in a while lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 03:51 AM
2

Thanks I appreciate that. I know there are definitely problems that need to be addressed and it is good to have more perspectives to see. Yeah honestly I’m starting to think it’s just from being on the sub too often lately and seeing people use generalizations to mean something for all women or men. I’m usually good with generalizations, think PPD just screwed with my gender generalizations lol. I suppose I’ve also done my best to always say on average or something along those lines to help get …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 03:44 AM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 01:08 AM
1

Appreciate that, should have given more thought to a surgery comment in this sub. I will admit it was insensitive to forget the leg lengthening surgery but I also only heard about it recently, from this sub actually. Thanks, was just taken aback that an opinion on personal choice had such a reaction. Should’ve left it obviously lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 01:02 AM
1

Again I’m sorry if it came across in bad faith. I was agreeing with the end of the comment I replied to.: This was a good read and mostly accurate, but it missed a very important piece of the puzzle. Women’s beauty is like 90% mutable whereas male beauty is 90% immutable. A fat woman can lose weight. A flat chested woman can get implants. An ugly woman can wear makeup. A short man can not gain height. A bald man cannot gain hair. An ugly man cannot wear makeup. The fact is, just about any woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 12:45 AM
1

Yeah that’s what I’ve heard most often from both genders. It’s often when they continuously complain which I agree. I suppose I’ll give it another try, I’ve just seen a lot of red pillers who talk about him and when the red pill talks it’s either generalizing or meaning all women. May have just been on this sub too much as well when people actually mean all women too. Like I said I’ll probably give it another try sometime because I am interested in hearing problems men face, just gave me a bad v…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 12:36 AM
6

I try my best to remain neutral and I’m still accused of hating men. Can’t win with everyone 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 12:25 AM
1

Can you quote me when I say surgery for women is always worse?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:49 PM
1

Like I’m sorry if it’s coming across as me trying to justify or defend the extend of the surgery, I’m just not sure how I can make myself more clear. My entire original comment was just about options and personal choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:37 PM
1

I also didn’t originally bring up that surgery, I was addressing surgeries men in general could get.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:34 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pf2zam/women_having_toxic_beauty_standard_is_a_result_of/hb3s75b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 And they all have different levels of risks. I never said the risk level was the same. I even said I wasn’t trying to compare
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:32 PM
1

Because you were running around in circles when I was just talking about personal choice
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:32 PM
1

Your also talking about one procedure , I was talking about all the procedures available for men, not just height
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:31 PM
1

This was literally my second response https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pf2zam/women_having_toxic_beauty_standard_is_a_result_of/hb3s75b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:30 PM
1

You changed the subject purely to height when it was about surgery
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:29 PM
1

Do you not remember be saying all surgeries have risks but they are not equal? I never said it was an easy surgery. There is different levels of risk with each surgery
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:28 PM
1

Gee thanks, my whole point is it’s a personal choice and all surgeries have risks. All at different levels and it’s up to the individual to decide, how is that wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:26 PM
1

Also please explain how I’m missing common sense when I was talking about personal choice and making sure I lead up on sources instead of believing whatever is told to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:20 PM
1

All surgeries have risks at all levels. It’s personal choice. Whole point of my comment. Don’t care it other people get it because it is their personal choice. I’m not advocating for people to get surgery. Sure if I was some bitch saying all men need leg lengthening surgery Id understand. All I said was there was options and different levels of risk I never denied that. I never mentioned leg surgery you did. Also it’s common sense that you’ll have pain if a break doesn’t heal. My fathers broken …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:18 PM
1

I can show empathy, it’s just hard when someone is attacking me about personal choices of surgery? Literally the only thing I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:16 PM
1

Also why so aggressive about it? Never said people should get it. Merely said it was an option. Just like a boob job is an option for me even if I’d never use the option
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:42 PM
1

None of the links you sent said it was a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:40 PM
1

Do you understand what guaranteed means?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:39 PM
1

Very true, people can have their own ideas of what beauty standards mean. Personally that includes fashion and everything you include for myself. So if we go by our own ideas I’d say we are somewhat on the same page I guess lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:38 PM
1

If you believe so.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:34 PM
1

Yes I responded again when I saw that. Sorry for misreading. I noticed my mistake and replied again. If you believe so, I know being short affects the dating market and can make life harder in general but that’s a bit of exaggeration to say it’s a crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:34 PM
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Some people are just lonely and desperate as well. Some feel they need a life companion, many reasons lol. Ah very true, I can understand that then. That definitely is a behaviour that should be awarded on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:32 PM
1

Well for one money lol. I’ll be honest that I’m not as interested in current beauty trends as I am historical. So I just find it interesting through the period there was always some women’s fashion that was mocked for one reason or another. I suppose that’s why I don’t always associate it with male attraction, there’s plenty of trends that the majority of men say let it die! But the women don’t care. In history as well it was normally elite ladies who set the standard and working class women wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:30 PM
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Not gonna happen. Women do the same thing. Ideally we would be mature enough to get into relationships but that isn’t the real world. I just think devaluing or glorifying a gender won’t help in the end. Seems like that’s what started the so called gender war in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:25 PM
1

"Not super low risk" is different than guaranteed to cause complications. It's not even in the same ballpark. I never mentioned guarantees until you did so I asked for sources
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:21 PM
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It doesn’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:20 PM
1

Well of course sexual preferences and attraction can influence it, I just don’t think of it as the core kinda thing. Like I said I think it’s a mixture of things
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:19 PM
1

Bone lengthening is completely successful about 4 out of 10 times. It has a much higher rate of complications and need for further surgeries. Joint contractures may occur. Osteotomy and placement of most fixation devices may be done using epidural anesthesia – the same type of anesthesia that many women receive during childbirth – so that they may be awake during their surgery if they so choose. The average hospital stay is two days. The procedure involves no large incisions or bone grafts. Gene…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:17 PM
1

Even so I’ve seen people get married to under average height people? I can understand it can affect some people’s dating lives, but it doesn’t affect every man under the average height
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:08 PM
1

I don’t see that as short , that’s around average in my country and 5’9 is the average in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:06 PM
1

Can you please send a link stating the guaranteed risks
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:05 PM
1

I personally have no problem with a 5’8 man, most of the people married from highschool are that height. Like I said in another comment. You may not reach that standard for some women but not all have standards for height and if you believe that, sorry
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:03 PM
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You do realize even if people fit into general trends they won’t fit into that mold, that is what makes individuals
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:02 PM
1

Okay. I was just saying there is options. Like I said I don’t think anyone should get any but it’s a personal choice
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:01 PM
1

I’d also look at the risks for breast implants, it’s not super low risk https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/breast-implants/risks-and-complications-breast-implants
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:00 PM
1

I also never specified leg lengthening surgery. Some woman may need a standard of like 6’ but it’s not true for all
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:58 PM
1

I wasn’t trying to compare how dangerous it was. Any surgery can be dangerous. All surgeries carry different risk and like I said it’s up to the individual to weigh the pros and cons of it. I was also mostly thinking of hair transplants and surgery’s, I’ve heard they are less invasive then the leg surgery but like I said I don’t particularly know. I’m just saying it’s an option even if I would never get any plastic surgery. I’m not saying anyone should, it’s a personal choice
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:55 PM
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Normally a mental illness is what tells you something so concrete that you create beliefs around it. It can be common with depression, that’s something I dealt with. The world is not a collective, it’s filled with individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:51 PM
1

I wasn’t trying to compare how dangerous it was. Any surgery can be dangerous. All surgeries carry different risk and like I said it’s up to the individual to weigh the pros and cons of it. I was also mostly thinking of hair transplants and surgery’s, I’ve heard they are less invasive then the leg surgery but like I said I don’t particularly know. I’m just saying it’s an option even if I would never get any plastic surgery. I’m not saying anyone should, it’s a personal choice
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:48 PM
1

Lol I am pretty niche I’ll give you that lol. I’m also on the introverted side but I’ve also met people who were outgoing who thought IG and stuff would take away from their parties and stuff lol or they just didn’t care about social media. Like I said not very common at all, us non IG user just do exist lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:46 PM
1

You do realize there can be lots of complications with any surgery? Like I said I’m not interested in it and don’t think it’s healthy for society but people can choose to do what they want. It just means the person decided the risks of the surgery was worth it for them. Obviously not for me or you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:43 PM
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All depends, also don’t know if that’s likely since the numbers would drop whenever someone gets into a relationship lol. Yeah I could never get into Facebook or Instagram, found it boring. I’ll admit I’ll scroll Pinterest for sewing ideas lol and visit Reddit but that’s generally the social media I use. I do understand how easy it can be to waste time just scrolling thru stuff though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:41 PM
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Glorifying anyone or any one gender will not end up going well. It can be good to talk about change your seeing and be happy about it but I don’t think glorifying and putting them on a pedestal will help much
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:39 PM
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No idea on the statistics, course it’s super common to be on IG and I agree but I’ve also met a couple people who just never liked sharing their personal stuff online. Others only liked it anonymously. I’ve seen those who your talking about who fit into those groups but some people never got into social media. I never used it much myself, didn’t see the point in posting my life online ever lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:25 PM
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Yeah like I said it’s really common for most people to be on IG, can only speak for myself and a handful of people but I’m 25 so I haven’t hit 30 yet lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:20 PM
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Guess I can be the one person who says they don’t use Insta. I know there are others who don’t thou. It’s really common for people to be on IG but it’s not everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:16 PM
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Very true, I’ve seen that commonly said. I can relate in ways of how they got there so I can understand where they come from but I also couldn’t imagine always living with so much hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:09 PM
1

I was finding it quite interesting because I know there has been an over diagnosis of boys with ADHD and Austim but that’s also mostly due to ignorance. Original studies mostly focused only on boys and they are only just realizing that girls display the disorders in a different way. I agree there is a problem for young boys and it will naturally continue to manhood if not stopped. I appreciate the link and I’m sure he has some wonderful ideas but once he says women see men complaining as whining…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:07 PM
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Same here, and if there is a mental illness it can easily cloud how a person perceives themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 07:56 PM
0

I wouldn’t say anytime a woman will use that justification. Of course I’ve seen women use it but I find it incredibly stupid. Normally dates are a reason to dress up, I thought the assumption was that you do want to impress them. However outside of dates dressing up doesn’t always mean impressing men
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 07:52 PM
1

Thanks for that. Have seen studies on that, my brain just doesn’t go to male sexual attraction when beauty standards are mentioned. I guess I just don’t believe beauty standards are always what men find most sexually attractive so I suppose that’s the disagreement. Like I’ll agree that body shapes and such are apart of it but I don’t believe it’s a major component of beauty standards, it’s a mixture of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 07:27 PM
1

I understand your point and I agree with a lot but if you say women can just get implants, there are surgeries available for men. Course I don’t know them well since I’m not interested in plastic surgery particularly but I have heard of several procedures. Honestly most of it comes down to strength of will and how much money you have
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 06:35 PM
1

I guess it depends on what people consider beauty standards. It could include both aspects in my opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 04:54 PM
5

There has been a problem with boys being diagnosed and girls not being so. It’s only recently people are understand girls can be affected too just often display differently. That’s the case with many diagnoses. If someone does believe that ADHD is just boys being diagnosed for being boys (which I admit will happen but getting a proper diagnosis is tricky) then I’d suggest listening to personal accounts of individuals who deal with ADHD
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 04:53 PM
2

Sources please?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 04:19 PM
2

Some are consistent, some are not. Again I’d suggest looking into past beauty standards if you wish to,if not, I don’t care if you keep your belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:44 PM
3

I’d actually suggest looking through past beauty standards, they change. Even in the early 2000s stick thin was the trend?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:35 PM
3

Fashion history can actually be interesting, perhaps take a look into it sometime
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:29 PM
1

If you believe so, like I said the wealthy and elite were the ones who set the trends in the past, it slowly shifted to media
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:28 PM
2

Very true and I understand the concern, I think that just clouded the rest of the message. I think you were just focused too much on that, I didn’t quite understand your full stance but once talking about it get I and understand now lol. Glad we were able to talk through it and get on the same page
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:21 PM
3

Please tell me which diagnosis your talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:07 PM
2

True and I understand what your saying. It definitely is a big problem that masculinity is the one in the spotlight right now. That definitely makes sense, I didn’t quite understand but I agree that a broader term is helpful then breaking it down into smaller terms to address categories of it. I think I saw it only as let’s refer to it as toxic societal standards but we can’t differentiate between stereotypical gender traits. I feel like if you did like a TLDR that said you want a general term f…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:36 PM
1

That’s why I suggest talking about toxic societal expectations as a whole but when you want to talk about how someone is affected by the masculine expectations I feel like performative masculinity would be good. Then when you want to talk about feminine expectations it can be referred to as performative femininity. I just feel it is helpful to have terms that relate to the specific expectations. I don’t want to exclude feminine blame or shove it all onto masculinity. I just feel like people need…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:24 PM
1

Thanks for understanding lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:12 PM
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It can be an issue if it’s porn addiction which seems likely. This is common to hear from them
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:10 PM
–

Yeeep
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:09 PM
3

Yeah I’m only giving my personal experience. I can only speak for myself. Some people social groups could be devoid of married couples. I was just saying what is common around me. I’m sure areas could affect it as well. I’m in Canada not the US so maybe that’s why. Most people get married here for traditional or religious reasons I agree though I should have made my main point about how it comes from media and people of influence, just as it always had. Actually had just thought of it when I rep…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:05 PM
2

What is your point? Even if most people follow general trends there will be individuals who don’t. All humans are different lol. There maybe general similarities in one group but they often aren’t copies of one another
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 01:58 PM
1

I can understand that but it also seems to be a problem that people aren’t taught that individuals are comprised of feminine and masculine traits. I can also understand people taking offence, makes perfect sense to me but that’s the same as calling out toxic behaviour in someone. It also true conversations can end in a snap if someone takes offence to the language. Now it just has a larger term used. I can agree we can talk about toxic societal pressures but there’s a reason people prefer using …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 01:45 PM
5

Hysteria was a common diagnosis for women in the past. We have a wider ranger of diagnoses now aswell Edit grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:15 AM
20

Most of the average people I know got together round the end of highschool or college and got married. I also don’t believe every average women views hvw as her own bare minimum? Most average girls I know realize they won’t be some 10/10 girl that’s chased by boys? Edit most beauty standards have come from media over the years and people of influence. In history it was the elite and wealthy that set the beauty trends
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 10:47 AM
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Thanks for mentioning it, I looked into it because it’s been sometime and forgot it was on the asexual spectrum. I guess I’ve just mostly talked to other demsexuals who also had a high sex drive once in a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 10:35 AM
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I personally am. There’s people on both side who can take offence. I understand it’s about societies expectations though so I’m comfortable talking about toxic femininity and the fact that I did exhibit that in the past. I think there will be people on both sides who get offended either way. I was just told about performative femininity and performative masculinity and it maybe a better term to help with defensiveness on both sides
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 10:27 AM
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How is it deflecting underlying issues? Sorry I just don’t follow that part would you mind explaining
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 10:14 AM
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Hmm I haven’t heard that, possible but haven’t come across that before
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 09:53 AM
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Haven’t heard the demisexual means they have a low drive? From what I heard it varies with like any other
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 12:12 AM
2

Definitely! Wish you the best of luck with your journey, certainly know how much of a pain anxiety can be lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 10:27 PM
2

Haha something I recently learned so I went through a lot of shit before realizing it lol. Just trying to improve and be more self aware but it’s definitely easier said than done lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 10:19 PM
1

Lmao yes that’s a good description. People can definitely get advice from it, like I said it’s often just very over the top lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 10:15 PM
1

Part of the problem with the story of a mutual hookup is that we only hear that from Brock. It’s definitely a possibility but it could be a cover up, we don’t know. Either way the girl was unconscious and didn’t have the option to continue consenting. I heard it was real shit but when I read it, made me question how the lawyer ever thought it’d work. I heard mostly about the defence lawyer for his appeal but I wouldn’t be surprised if the original defence was similar
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:44 PM
2

Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:35 PM
2

Your forgetting that two other students witnessed it, tackling him when he tried running off and they called the cops
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:33 PM
2

Wow many things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:33 PM
1

Also seen his defence lawyer came up with a ludicrous claim that didn’t help his case at all. I remember listening to it on the radio when it was happening and I remember at one point the judge wanted to let him attend school then go to jail on the weekend. That’s when I remember the most outrage from people around me. Once there are witnesses there really isn’t much that can be done. Two other students saw it and called the police, she was unconscious when the men and police arrived. Even if sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:32 PM
2

People may but I’ve yet to say they should be punished for life or that three months in a cell is no punishment at all. I said three months is not an appropriate time frame for committing rape in my opinion. I also remember the judge wanted to let him stay in school and go to jail on the weekend. There are many people who do crimes that affect people less and they are punished more harshly. Of course this will all be personal opinion and most people won’t agree unanimously on a set time. I can j…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:28 PM
2

Okay, keep your belief that 3 months is an appropriate time for rape. I’m done responding
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:23 PM
2

Cool so your putting your personal experience into a case and ignoring the court files
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:19 PM
2

When you add her story with the witnesses of the night it does play out. It’s believable but that’s not what the court ruled. Please show me the evidence that they fell for sure because in the end it’s assuming aswell
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:19 PM
1

It’s less he said she said because there were two witnesses, one who tackled Brock as he tried running away
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:17 PM
2

Can you quote where someone says it’s consistent with falling because I didn’t see that mentioned
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:15 PM
2

When Turner was found on top of the woman, who was also unconscious and half-naked, he was fully clothed and did not have his genitals exposed. Attorney Eric Multhaup argued that Turner was engaged in "sexual outercourse" and did not demonstrate that he intended to rape the victim, according to NBC Bay Area. Multhaup described "outercourse" as an activity that does not involve vaginal sex and as a "version of safe sex." Turner's case received national attention after he was sentenced to six mont…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:14 PM
2

So you’d rather believe the rapist over the victim? He’s lied through the process and tried appealing his sentence even though there were witnesses, which I addressed them tackling them. I’m asking for an article
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:10 PM
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He was also tackled by one of the witnesses so of course he’d have some injuries on him. I haven’t seen any evidence that he fell. Could you provide that?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:07 PM
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So you can’t assume anything because as you said she didn’t specify where the injuries were. Personally due to the nature of the exam that’s why I believe it wasn’t stated. However your coming to your own conclusion when you say yourself somewhere on the body. You can assume he didn’t cause her injury and that they just fell but we can’t say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:05 PM
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Lol fuck off with that, there was injury caused, just because the nurse doesn’t spell it out in simple terms for you
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 09:00 PM
2

How the hell did he get sentenced if there was no evidence of it then?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 08:58 PM
2

In the context of a SART exam it does
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 08:56 PM
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She’s not some regular nurse. Kristine Setterlund said she has been a SART nurse since 1987, has conducted more than 700 SART exams and testified as an expert in numerous court cases. She described the standard process for administering the sexual-assault exam, the purpose of which is to collect evidence off a person's body after a sexual assault has allegedly occurred and give it to police, Setterlund said.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 08:53 PM
3

You didn’t read far enough
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 08:49 PM
2

Lol you didn’t read it like I said Kianerci entered into evidence Friday Doe's SART exam diagrams and several photographs taken during the exam. Setterlund testified to a series of abrasions and erythema — redness on the skin — she documented on various places on Doe's body. She compared erythema to the redness that would appear after a person is slapped; Turner's attorney, Michael Armstrong of Palo Alto firm Nolan, Armstrong & Barton, asked if it could also be caused by "friction." She said it …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 08:49 PM
1

Someone else sent you the link, you obviously didn’t read the article through
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 08:44 PM
1

Lol I’m perfectly fine , you have your prejudices. Internalized misogyny is toxic either way. Your just trying throw blame from women. I’m taking account of what I did in the past and talking about how both genders exhibit toxicity due to societies expectations. Also thanks for believing that. Just because I can realize anyone can be raciest regardless of colour does not mean I think whites are superior lol. It seems you have some weird beliefs about people of colour being human. If they were hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 07:17 PM
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Also if your saying people of colour can’t be raciest that’s ridiculous. They are humans with the same types of emotions. Don’t twist my words and say all or most are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 07:06 PM
1

If you believe so, really don’t understand why the concepts are so hard to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 07:01 PM
1

I also heard toxic masculinity was due to the patriarchy. You give me the same reason for toxic femininity. Both come from societies expectations. The only difference is that the traits are commonly associated with their gender. Women can display toxic masculinity and men can display toxic femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:57 PM
1

Yes I’ve heard of it and I’ve dealt with my own. Either way that’s toxic and toxic masculinity normally isn’t the men’s fault either, that is what they were taught. Most the time people are arguing amongst themselves even though they were born into the same system. The average man today didn’t create this, it’s not his fault either. It’s society’s toxic messages that are at fault
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:54 PM
1

Also did you look into the subreddit that I suggested since it has more examples. I took examples for an article because personal opinions can differ. Decided I’d at least find something published with it. Unfortunately toxic masculinity is talked about more so it’s not as easy to find. Either way what your saying just reminds me of the saying fight fire with fight. Normally a lot easier to talk with people if your not excusing toxic behaviour from either gender
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:52 PM
1

a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of women, regarded as having a negative impact on women and on society as a whole. Toxic masculinity is learned behaviours aswell. Women are taught toxic societal messages just as men are. Honestly I don’t care where it originated from, I care about getting in on equal ground. That is an excuse for being toxic which I’ve seen men flip and say the opposite. There’s toxic people of each gender and these terms are t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:46 PM
1

I don’t have super long nails because I can’t personally get used to using them but I enjoy painting my nails and having them sparkly. Most men don’t appreciate it but I don’t particularly care, I like seeing colours and sparkles on my nails. No every women wears heels. Yes your right, it’s not always attention seeking. Some people choose to appear in a certain way to attract people, some people choose to appear in a certain way for a feeling. Happiness, confidence, many types of emotions can le…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:43 PM
2

Very true, I think it would be a better way to go about the terms so neither gender feels attacked with having toxic attached to their genders traits. Just means it needs an even bigger push then. I think I’ll refer to both as performative to try and help with defensiveness from both sides
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:20 PM
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I’m guessing so, I wouldn’t think to connect that term but if I hear toxic femininity, I think of it as the other side of the coin on toxic masculinity. Either way thanks for letting me know about that term, I had heard of performative feminism but hadn’t heard femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:18 PM
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Performative maybe a better way to term both genders toxic behaviours. It’s not as straight cut but it should lessen the automatic jump to it’s an attack on masculinity as a whole
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:15 PM
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Thanks for bringing it up, see some articles on it, I may get different search results but I seem to get more targeted results when I search for toxic femininity. Either way I agree that the feminine side is hardly talked about compared to the masculine side
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:13 PM
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No problem, it’s disappointingly small but I also hadn’t thought to look for the sub until last night so I’m guessing it’s not well known
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:11 PM
1

Huh never heard of that term before , I’ll look into it
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:10 PM
1

No problem, I realize toxic masculinity is talked about a lot but toxic femininity is a big problem as well and needs to be talked about too
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:33 PM
3

There is actually a subreddit about toxic femininity and they have examples. I would check that out for examples as well. Looking up I found some examples because I don’t wanna screw it ip When are you having kids?” or “I just don’t see how you can be happy without kids.” Basically anything that equates “femininity” or “being a woman” to “pop things out of your uterus.” The same way lots of toxic masculinity boils down to “men use their muscles.” I’m not like other girls.” The idea that we need …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:25 PM
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I’ve seen it described as the same thing. a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of women, regarded as having a negative impact on women and on society as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:06 PM
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Even if it’s not as serious for some circumstances it’s still something we’re dealing with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:02 PM
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I believe it’s as damaging as toxic femininity which needs to be talked about more
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:35 PM
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Lol some do
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:04 PM
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Thanks for listening. Lmao I really appreciate that. Don’t know if I’m good but I’m more aware of my own problems, something I wasn’t until I really starting reaching deep down and thinking. Definitely still have a long way to go in ways of improving but I’m also a lot better than I was a like a year ago lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:59 AM
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Appreciate that, I do try my best to do what I can. I’m not super outgoing so I’m not the loudest but I’ve also been trying to speak up. I have a hard time completely believing in unconditional love. I know that’s due to my own upbringing but for myself I haven’t experienced that as a women or a child. Like if I think about it, I’d imagine it is common but unconditional love isn’t a guarantee I’d say. Honestly try not to think of unconditional love a lot but I understand the point about dogs. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 06:34 AM
1

I have also said that to many men in this sub but they brush me off. I understand each gender have their struggles and individual circumstances can make it even tougher. I try to be supportive but it’s kind of hit or miss, either way I still try to empathize when people talk about their experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:49 AM
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I’m saying there’s people who talk about it but not nearly as much as toxic masculinity. I saw articles and people on Reddit talking about but as I said it’s on a totally different level. You may have not come across it as much as I have but I’m just saying my personal experience, that I see toxic femininity talked about but not on the same scale
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:47 AM
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I also just found a sub on toxic femininity and calling it out. Disappointed it’s so small but I also hadn’t thought to look for it, perhaps sharing it could be a good idea to spread awareness about it
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:41 AM
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That’s how the term toxic masculinity came about, it was discussed on the internet and become mainstream so it made it into the dictionary. I can find articles talking about toxic femininity so people are trying to spread awareness but it’s not in the Oxford dictionary. Once it becomes more talked about it will be included aswell but first we need to make it main stream. Which is why I mention it, it’s the best I can do right now. I’m basically saying they are both problems but the majority only…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:37 AM
1

Of course, I do my best to always engage in good faith and I enjoy having debates that include that. Normally much more informative for both sides. I will definitely say there is a problem with the fact that toxic femininity is largely not discussed compared to toxic masculinity. I wouldn’t say it doesn’t exist, just seems way less likely for women to call others out. Depending on where you are, in my social circle even though it’s not the largest I call out women. Actually almost got into my on…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:00 AM
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Haha yeah, guess I’m more thinking of when I saw the people taking advice from anime and manga it was commonly teenagers so they didn’t get the deeper meaning lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:41 AM
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I can understand what your saying and I can admit there has been a bias leaning in ways it hasn’t before. I’ll also admit I don’t keep up to date with more popular trends so I don’t see it as much but I still notice it. I feel like most of the time it is empowerment to the extreme and the line starts blurring there. With the demonization of masculinity I agree some go to the extreme and do that. I think your referring to toxic masculinity which I believe is real as well as toxic femininity. I wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:40 AM
1

I just want to say the examples your using are normally used by toxic people. I have seen that said but pretty rarely in real life. I will say both genders can have unrealistic expectations. You can agree they maybe realistic but everyone has a right to an opinion and to leave if someone standards are too high. Getting it up can be a problem but mature couples can work through it depending on the reasons. When a partner is emotionally neglectful, you leave. That’s just cheaters justifying their …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:07 AM
3

I am a cis white female and I’m probably a minority in that I’m Demisexual so personality matters more for me than looks. Like I said I realize I’m probably in the minority and there’s most likely others who put looks above. From that standing I don’t think I’d ever exclude anyone just due to their race. I’ve been interested in men who has Asian descent and Middle Eastern, I was extremely insecure at that time though so I wouldn’t make a move. I would say it is very real like many other types of…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 03:44 AM
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Understandable, I personally haven’t seen it portrayed that way as much but I have seen it. Thanks for being open to listening
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 03:15 AM
1

Well that’s a bit harsh in phrasing but yes I tell people who need to work out they need to focus on themselves before expecting a relationship. Same with huge insecurities and the such, both of those were part of my problem with dating which I why I talk about it and tell everyone to try working on themselves mentally and physically for relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 02:25 AM
2

Well sorry it was the first thing that came to mind, wasn’t trying to give advice just trying to explain why I share my personal experiences. People can choose to learn from it if they want. Slut-shaming does happen by women as well and I’ll admit as a teen I was very stuck up but I don’t care what consenting adults get up to within legal reasons. And yes I agree it’s often to feel better about themselves. My point with gold diggers is that any gender can be taken advantage of. If that’s how you…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 02:23 AM
1

Lol thanks for reminding me of the term for that. Like I said it depends on the genre as well but in the end it’s going on generalizations. I think it’s the amount of advice people get from media like that. There’s truth to a lot of media but it’s often hyped up or over the top and some people can’t see the deeper meaning. So of course broadening your horizons to learn more perspectives is good, especially in media but you need to be aware about how much to take from it. Just often seen people g…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:40 AM
2

Possibly but most of what I remember what a lot of over the top stuff. Very fairytale aswell. That is also targeted towards teen girls depending on which genre your actually talking about. So a teen girl may relate to it or enjoy it but it doesn’t always mean they’d like that in real life. For example the teen boy who blocks the teen girl against a wall with his arm above her head as he sweet talks her then kisses her. Even with the small amounts you could get from it, don’t know if that demogra…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:27 AM
1

Also I can admit I currently suck at a lot of things but I’m also working on myself cause I’m aware of my problems
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:19 AM
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I’ve seen women say to avoid gold diggers and such. Honestly it’s usually universal things to avoid and if I’ve experienced something negative I’ll share my experiences to possibly help men or women. I admit there are many who feel a sisterhood that shouldn’t be broken no matter the cause. Don’t personally believe in that. I believe in sisterhood with women your close with but even then that should have limits aswell. Well part of the problem is not all women on the internet agree with FDS. I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:14 AM
0

If you believe so, not interesting in starting an argument over people giving advice. Even if you go to someone for advice it’s your choice in the end to accept it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:47 AM
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I personally don’t find it hard to be neutral as a women. There are extremes on both sides but there are people in the middle
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:24 AM
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People get good and bad advice in all forms from different people. Were given advice and teachings as children but as we grow as individuals we need to realize what is good for you. I think it is a good idea to have a good understanding of who you are and what you want in life before you start serious long term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:20 AM
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Lol I enjoyed manga targeted towards men and women. Even if they hit general trends manga is mostly fantasy lol. Even as a teen girl I realized that reading manga wasn’t some way to better understand how a collective thinks. It’s a better way to understand the mangaka then the people they write about lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:14 AM
2

Lol yeah it can be easy to fill up a room with craft supplies. I can be thankful I don’t have a bunch of tiny beads but basically everywhere you look there’s some fabric and patterns lmao. Urgh that’s awesome, I’d love an embroidery machine but that’s too much money for me right now. I can only imagine, met many sewers while I was working that just came up with mind blowing ideas haha 😂 Yeah I started with mostly straight line things, made a few skirts and I did a couple dresses. The one out of …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 07:45 PM
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Haha I totally get that, it’s awesome your mom was able to teach you. I actually only really got into sewing last year, mostly just made like blankets and pillows for birthdays and such. So I was bringing in so much more fabric than I was using lol. Yeah I’ve put myself on a no buy fabric rule lol. My room is basically just filled with my sewing stuff lol. My only problem is most of my fabric is quilting cotton because that’s what the store sold most of and most wasn’t able to be reordered so I …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 06:58 PM
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Haha I definitely get that, If you find a pattern you like you stick to it lol. I’ll definitely look up the designer, I have a horrible time deciding on what clothes to sew lol. I love the sound of the poncho and omg that outfit you described sounds amazing looking. Haha no problem! Love hearing what other people have made, other than deciding on what to sew my biggest problem is my stash. Worked at a fabric store for seven years and now I need to work through my stash lmao 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 06:43 PM
1

Haha I understand that, my biggest weakness was cute prints even though they aren’t the best for clothes most of the time lol. Same here, I’m quite the homebody so when I do leave I’m not looking for attention, much rather nobody notice me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 06:34 PM
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Making your own things is something I didn’t mention but I do the same. Its an enjoyable hobby. Never understood why it’s so difficult to understand people like different hobbies and it’s usually for the betterment of themselves rather than attracting a mate. Both genders will dress to impress but that’s not a guarantee or universal truth for whenever someone dresses up.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 06:26 PM
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Lol sounds like it but I can never keep up with her lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 06:10 PM
2

This is another reason I was trying to point out but you made it simple and to the point lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 04:26 PM
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That’s not universal though. Of course I’ve met women who use makeup and things to attract men but more often than not it’s because they enjoy it. Like sometimes I put on makeup but don’t go out, there’s plenty of girls who do that when no ones around. For some it’s not just the opposite sex but coming across a certain way to everyone. Girls are more likely to compliment another girls makeup or clothes. Sometimes people wear certain things to appear more professional in settings. Maybe the schoo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 04:23 PM
4

You can believe that but even when I wear makeup and such, it’s because it can be a confidence boost and it can be fun once in a while. Basically looking good makes people feel good, doesn’t always have to do with the opposite sex. A lot of times women are told men don’t like what they choose to do, they don’t give too craps though because they enjoy it
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 04:14 PM
3

Haha that sounds like my sister. She loves having fun and going out so if she’s not working she’s normally getting ready or gone out lol. Her life sounds like a tv show compared to mine with all her stories lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 03:50 PM
3

I personally wouldn’t be able to do it but I can understand it, seeing the time my sister puts into her appearance, it’s a lot. She is also the opposite, much more outgoing and loves wearing makeup often. I’m sure if I did enjoy makeup more it would increase my time a lot. I have clothes I find comfortable mentally so I normally don’t take a long time choosing, as opposed to my sister who can take an hour to decide on one outfit lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 03:46 PM
3

I suppose I’d guess around 10 hours a week including exercise. Not entirely sure though. I also suspect I’m in the minority since I very rarely use makeup
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 03:39 PM
2

I’m 25, I’ve stopped putting up with it but I won’t put up with women’s bullshit either. I don’t like how some objectify women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:37 AM
1

I can understand that but when you generalize it doesn’t help. If you say many or some that doesn’t include the men who shouldn’t be. Hate when people generalize our gender so I can understand the reaction men have when people just say men… or all men.. Of course I’ve noticed that a lot as well and I’ve only had bad relationships. However I have met decent and wonderful men so I avoid generalizing because I know it’s not true all the time. I think I saw in your comments you mentioned BPD, I have…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:36 AM
1

There are a vast amount of views and beliefs on Reddit and the internet?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:28 AM
2

Lol you do realize most people use the internet. I don’t know how you believe the majority of Reddit is comprised of bad guys as you say
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:27 AM
2

Also please explain how hating an entire gender helps anyone
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:24 AM
2

Lol thanks think again, I just realize not every man is the same, just as not every woman is the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:24 AM
1

We don’t even have accurate stats. Rapes go unreported on both sides but often more so on the men’s side normally. Toxic masculinity is real I agree, as is toxic femininity which is what your displaying. I critique it for all the toxic behaviour I see. There’s pros and cons to each pill. Just like generalizing feminism, usually doesn’t work with the pills because so many start having their own ideas about it. Because the average man didn’t construct it. Your attacking people who were born into t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:23 AM
1

People have reason to be wary of anyone at times. Doesn’t mean making sweeping generalizations and hating a gender. That doesn’t help anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:10 AM
1

I don’t understand feminazis as a female. It’s a toxic section of feminism that breeds hate and considering how you ignore rape when the victims are male then ignore me when I call you out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:07 AM
2

Well honestly the first time I heard that was in school from what I can remember. I remember my parents saying no hitting and general things. I don’t remember them specifying a gender. I won’t deny other girls are most likely taught that but I heard boys saying that more often. I don’t think I heard it until grade four. Either way I agree it’s not something we should teach kids, along with a lot of other things we were taught
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 07:44 AM
1

Haha I figured you only knew because of your kids lol yeah that’s important to remember when you have kids
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 12:22 AM
1

Yeah our spikes seem to have settled a bit, but people are still iffy because of a spike. I remember there was a time last year they tried for a bit cause I remember walking past kindergartens running around in a pen lol. Most people didn’t have masks on, even the adults so not surprised they went back to online at that point
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 12:21 AM
1

Oh yeah haha that makes sense I think the cut off is the 1st or the end of august sometime. Looked it up and apparently the school year will start on the 3rd, never paid much attention to it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 12:09 AM
1

Nope, I’m also in the most populated place in Canada, most of our population is in the south. We go in and out of lockdowns. They had been arguing about it for the last few months. Seems like they are going back in September because I’ve been seeing the yearly back to school commercials.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 12:06 AM
1

Yeah we’re pretty similar to the us with some differences from what I’ve seen haha. Seems September 1st is around the most common, I know school starts round there but I always forget the exact date since I’ve been out of school for a while, just know it starts in the beginning of September lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 12:05 AM
1

Well that’s good haha. I know they’ve been trying to get into the Canadian schools but idk if it’s gone thru yet. Haven’t heard it mentioned much since people are talking about letting kids back or not so
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 12:01 AM
1

Might be a tad different from the us, looked it up and average for grade 8 is 13 but it depends on what month your born too so that’s why I remember being 12. So grade 9 is an average of 14 but it can be a range too. Basically we have average 5-13 year olds in elementary school. Kindergarten to grade eight then highschool is around 14+ but like I said the month will affect it too
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:57 PM
1

Seems pretty hit and miss in Canada and I’d suspect it’s probably close to the US but I’d suspect those in religious areas would definitely be more affected. I know religion affected us a bit in Canada so I’m sure it’s more in the US depending on the area
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:50 PM
1

Yeah that was the earliest they attempted sex Ed when I was in school. That’s quite interesting to hear, I’m glad they are at least taking steps to improve it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:48 PM
1

I certainly hope it will change with people being more knowledgeable. Yeah it’s not uncommon, but I remember being like 11 12 in grade eight. Didn’t hit 13 and 14 until highschool which was common for grade nine. It was uncommon in elementary school is what I’m saying
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:47 PM
3

I know you can’t get consent for therapy but maybe try looking for workbooks. There’s many for free online. I was in your spot and its definitely something you need to work on internally. Even if he were to say yes you’ll most likely end up in the same emotional state but for different reasons in the relationship. I understand what your feeling. It’ll be painful but you need to stop and try to focus on yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:44 PM
1

Very true, that’s basically how I was thinking but you worded it way better haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:36 PM
1

True, part of that I think is when the teacher is awkward they ask the kids if they have questions then it either ends with awkwardness or people asking ridiculous questions to avoid feeling awkward lol. I understand there’s only so much they can teach, I just know they can improve from what I learned. Hopefully they did since my younger siblings went because it didn’t seem different. Yeah some people should never have kids, just feel for the children because they didn’t have a choice in that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:35 PM
1

Yeah, it can certainly be helpful, just seen a lot of people take most if not all from porn. Well it’s nice to know it’s different, seemed so common around me. Like it seemed super common for people to watch porn before preteen ages and there was a few people who were sleeping around at preteen ages. It blew my mind when I heard about it. There was one girl in grade eight who slept with a lot of the boys in the class, even the teachers knew… I know she had a hard life though so I can’t think too…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:32 PM
1

Exactly. I’d imagine it’s probably hard to find a teacher who wants to talk about it and if they do, they are often too passionate in one direction. Seems more common for teachers to be thrust into the position and be super uncomfortable though. Remember they tried doing sex Ed in grade 8 (I know some kids were sexually active then) they were planning on doing a session each Monday for a month. Teacher was so uncomfortable we got one session and it was done.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:27 PM
1

Exactly , unfortunately it’s common knowledge there is shitty parents out there. Part of why I think education through the school is so important. There’s some people who shouldn’t be parents and giving their kids and help they can get I think is best for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:24 PM
1

I think it will start changing since people generally are more informed. I think it maybe part of denial on the side of parents sometimes too. Denial they are growing up so they shouldn’t be thinking about that. I know my mom was like that haha . I think that has a lot to do with it. I also think if people were more opening about informing their kids there would be less learning from porn. Like I’ve only met a few people who had the sex talk with their parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:22 PM
1

I agree that has to do with puberty , and I don’t think porn is inherently bad. Learning from porn is usually bad though. I agree with that and I knew the opposite from an early age but it seems like people don’t learn then of course there are people who just don’t care Edit: preteen seems more normal as well, I’ve just heard people say they started before 10
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:18 PM
1

Well that’s good to hear, I just haven’t heard many positive experiences with actual informative sex Ed. That can be lack of education as well. I never said porn is a problem in itself, just that it can cause problems. People can benefit from porn of course but some have negative effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:14 PM
1

I never said porn is the only reason. People can have healthy relationships with porn but they can also have an unhealthy one. Of course not everyone gets addicted, I’m just saying it’s a problem for those affected
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:12 PM
1

They say wear a condom but how many teens just listen to a command, explaining it works better and like I said it was mostly focused on basic std info like transmitting between vaginal and penis
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:10 PM
1

I put that link because as I said and even the article says there’s not many studies done. The main thing is people are learning from porn. Yeah that was what my curriculum was but it focused on just the basic idea of stds and how to put on a condom. They basically just preach wear a condom. Or preach abstinence depending on the teacher. People have been calling for better sex ED for years. If they have improved it I’d be happy but I haven’t seen people talk about much of a difference. You even …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:08 PM
1

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2020/jan/31/porn-survey-uk-teenagers-viewing-habits-bbfc Seems like UK doesn’t have the best in the ways of sex ED either. Many report turning to porn for education purposes
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 10:39 PM
1

Also kind of find it funny my ex who deal with porn addiction was sexually active at like 11, enjoyed alot of casual sex, knew that before we dated. He used drugs and wanted anal sex a lot. Lol I didn’t even connect that but it’s weird he’s like the picture child of that. Course he said he wanted to settle down and he did calm down in a lot of aspects but his sex addiction wasn’t something he wanted to work. After finding out after five years, that relationship ended but they are often very secr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 10:35 PM
1

https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/does-anal-sex-have-any-health-risks/ If people learn just from porn they probably won’t realize the risks
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 10:28 PM
2

Okay. Obviously you haven’t been affected by porn and I’m happy for you. Probably a bit easier when you weren’t exposed so young. Even as a girl I was on my way to getting addicted. If you believe porn doesn’t affect people I wish you met my ex who addicted to porn and escalated to a sex addiction. Have your kids discussed having sex Ed? Most people I encounter don’t have proper sex Ed. The sex Ed I received was about stds and putting a condom on, which was learned halfway through high school. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 10:23 PM
1

Yeah it seems to be easier to find US stats since they seem to produce the most porn. There’s some worldwide info in this link https://www.webroot.com/ca/en/resources/tips-articles/internet-pornography-by-the-numbers Tried taking a look for some UK stats, doesn’t seem as easy to find as US https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244019899462 I’m in Canada so it’s even harder for me to find stats for porn consumption by children. Unfortunately I find most talking about child pornography…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 09:34 PM
1

Yeah I’m in my mid twenties so most kids were accessing the internet very young. I know my one ex is an outlier seeing it so young at 6 but seeing it around 8 or so seems really common. Think it depends on when kids hit puberty too, I hit it earlier than most so it kinda ties into when I found porn. That was grade four and I remember a lot of boys talking about boobs and such, it was weird but common at the same time. That’s the first time I remember guys talking about about sex and girls body’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 09:11 PM
2

Yeah unfortunately it seems really common for people to find it around that age. I found it around 8 myself. I seen stats that say the average age kids find porn is 7 years old. I think that’s one of the biggest problems I’ve seen with people my age. I’ve seen other that say 11 so it depends on the country I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:55 PM
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Yeah one had a porn addiction that developed into a sex addiction, which I only learned about five years in, which ended the relationship. Having a healthy relationship with porn is good, it can be very damaging if it becomes unhealthy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:52 PM
2

Yeah, no idea how common it is but seems to be kinda common. They were my only two exs so I don’t have much experience out of that. Both of them got into porn very young though so I’m sure that was connected. I know one started watching at 6 and I think the other 8? I just remember the 6 because I was really shocked by that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:47 PM
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Yeah, it does hurt seeing someone your in a relationship have such a bad insecurity. I just knew from personal experience, they were my only exs and they both said porn contributed to them believing their penis was small. They both got into porn really young though so I guess not too surprising
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:46 PM
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Couldn’t pass up that pun! But yeah he went from extremely insecure to thinking his dick was women’s gift from god 😆 he said porn messed up his perception of dick size , idk that’s just what he said was the reason
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:36 PM
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I wouldn’t say for sure, one of my exs were around 7” and he was very insecure when we first got together, then he went the opposite way and felt like it was huge 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk he said porn affected the way he viewed dick size. So I wouldn’t assume a micropeen. My other ex was around 6” and the way he talked you’d imagine he had a micropenis, it’s just insecurities
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:34 PM
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Not surprised, my one ex was around 7” and he was really insecure at first, then he got super cocky about it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:29 PM
1

Yes I mentioned it often goes unreported so we don’t have accurate data. I also think she was talking in the past when it was common for women to be seen as property and for punishment to be more common for the women. But like I said I feel like it is much more even today, we just don’t have the data because it is not commonly reported
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:07 PM
3

I took that to mean in the context of relationships. Victims of violence of any gender need support. I believe that was mentioned because there is generally more reports of men committing domestic abuse but I also know the other side often gets unreported so it’s hard to know accurate stats. I honestly believe it’s probably a lot closer these days than is reported but we don’t have the data for that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 07:58 PM
1

Damn I hadn’t seen it myself or encountered it. I’ve seen sex and porn positive feminists but hadn’t seen anything that extreme. That definitely is very unhealthy and very weird to think about. There’s good in bad in every moment but in my personal opinion that’s really bad
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 07:52 PM
2

If people have an unhealthy example for relationships at home, it’s common for them to get into unhealthy relationships. Parents set examples and if the example isn’t healthy, what do you expect?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 07:00 PM
6

Ah very true, seems like a rationalization. Just hadn’t heard it personally before
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 01:18 AM
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Ah yeah, I lived in one side of a duplex for a couple years. What’s worse is our bedrooms had a shared wall lol. It definitely caused a lot of secondhand embarrassment, I don’t think they were too embarrassed though cause they were heavy drug users. Thinking of that could be another reason it sounded like she was being killed lol, was probably high too
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 01:11 AM
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Lmao! That reminded me of my neighbour’s lol. Some say they are naturally like that, I feel like it has more to do with a performance for their partner most times though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 01:03 AM
5

I don’t think I’ve heard people say that. The common assumption is what the study suggests from what I’ve seen
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 12:45 AM
1

Haha that makes sense, hadn’t thought of that but as a teenager I’d probably think the same thing lol. I’m sure when they get a bit older they’ll appreciate it when they understand Lol that’s just being humans dude 😋 Thankfully when my mom had kids she tried reconnecting with him more but it had always been rocky. My aunt was never on speaking terms and I’m not sure if my cousins even met him. I definitely understand that, family can get weird when partners split up. It’s all emotions though and…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:46 PM
2

Crossing my arms is one of the positions I feel most comfortable in. Bit thrown off because I was always told that’s a defensive posture and should avoid it to be more welcoming. I just find it most comfortable though
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 03:50 PM
2

Ugh yeah I hate when people use generalizations for genders. I generally agree with what feminism stands for but there are people who take it way too far. My biggest piss off is when people dismiss other people’s trauma and pretend it’s not as bad as another. Just pain olympics in trauma and it’s not helpful either. Yeah that’s why I don’t refer to myself as a feminist because there are too many man haters in the group. Avoid labels and just try to remain as neutral as I can. Lol yeah I’d be ann…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 03:45 PM
2

No problem! Fighting amongst ourselves usually doesn’t help lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 02:12 PM
1

True but I just doubt majority of people mean the 1% when they hear rich
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 02:11 PM
1

Yeah it’s not fun lol, thank you though
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 02:11 PM
6

I’d say rich can be seen differently by people. When I think rich I don’t automatically assume 1% rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 08:02 AM
1

I suppose if that’s your opinion. I feel like the people I’ve seen try to become leaders just jump into the position without working on the skill first. I just know because there was a Leadership camp that was optional in high school and I remember a lot of people came back saying it was helpful. The other things are definitely things that can be worked on, real change for yourself takes a lot of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 07:01 AM
1

I just figured I’d look for some traits because I mostly just see physical traits. Those are all things you can work on, I took it as mental strength but it could be physical. You can work on being more independent, courageous, assertiveness and leadership are skills people can work on. Having the qualities of a leader doesn’t always mean you have someone to lead. It often means people see the qualities of a leader in them and want to follow them. That’s just how I interpret it though
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 06:48 AM
2

People often define it themselves these days but looking online quick I found this Traits traditionally viewed as masculine in Western society include strength, courage, independence, leadership, and assertiveness. Machismo is a form of masculinity that emphasizes power and is often associated with a disregard for consequences and responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 04:11 AM
1

Also just so you know that breakup with that ex was less than ten years ago so I don’t think it’s all that different. My best friend who was probably like 5’9 and she dated two guys round my height and I am 5’3 Edit: ppl downvoting cause they don’t believe lol. Only reason I remember those two is because they were my height and were almost opposite in looks
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 03:10 AM
2

Appreciate that, just seem to have had bad luck so I’m taking a break and working on myself
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 03:06 AM
1

On a break from dating, we were young and both had our issues but it ended with him cheating on me
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 03:04 AM
0

I dated a guy around 5’5 or so, didn’t work out but wasn’t due to his height
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 03:00 AM
1

Damn sorry to hear that. It’s clear you care about about your siblings and I’m sure they’re lucky to have you. Yeah I can understand wanting to get away but still feeling like you need to keep a connection. Yeah when everything hits at once it can come out of no where, can be unsettling when it seems so sudden. Certainly doesn’t sound like a fun ride, that’s very long. It sucks when family drama gets in the way of things like that. I went though something similar a couple years back when my moth…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 02:56 AM
1

Just from the past year or so I’ve become more aware of myself and others and it does seem like this seems to be more than the average person believes. Oh damn that really hurts my heart. I’m sorry that happened to you, I couldn’t imagine that happening. Hopefully when your in a better space you’ll be able to whistle again :) Thanks, I appreciate it, it’s a strange circumstance because she passed when I was young but apparently I was her favourite. I’ve carried a lot of guilt not being there whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 02:01 AM
2

Just because it doesn’t get reported as often as conventional rape doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or that we should ignore it. You can fight for equal rights without attacking the other gender as a whole
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 12:18 AM
2

Women can still rape men and not just in the certain circumstances you mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 12:03 AM
1

I think the point is more that they found people who they enjoyed and they personally thought were attractive. Like id say most of the “bottom list girls” ended up with what you would consider “bottom list boys”. Most of them id personally consider them below average in my tastes but they would gush about their mans looks. I may not find them attractive but the wives might, and just like majority of guys in the school ranked them as such, they found someone who saw them as attractive. I haven’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 11:14 PM
1

Most of them are currently married, some have kids. They normally found their partner at around the end of high school or college. Still lots of people who are stuck in the kid stage but most of the people I’ve seen get married had a pretty good head on their shoulders
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 10:52 PM
1

Sack of shits in both genders. Sorry to hear about that, don’t know why anyone thinks it’s okay to tell someone to end their life
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 10:43 PM
1

Lol you can make whatever assumptions you want idc. I was friends with a lot who were very bottom of the list and guys would avoid them but make fun of them behind their back. I’m sure some did the same to me but Idc, like I said it was in school so it was filled with kids who hadn’t matured yet. I just remembered it happened lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 10:33 PM
1

Okay just telling my experience, believe what you want lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 10:28 PM
0

Uh yeah it did, if the majority of guys decided a girl had the worst ass or she was the ugliest, you don’t think that would affect it? If the rest of the guys found out they would be mocked so those girls were ignored
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 09:38 PM
1

I’d look into what actually happens during abusive relationships. It can be incredibly hard for many people to leave a situation like that and not feel like they still love their abuser. I’m sorry to hear that happened to him, some people just shouldn’t be in relationships until they work on themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 09:09 PM
2

They may encourage that but not every women believes in that and are looking for a relationship from the start. Of course there’s women who enjoy casual sex aswell but there seems to be more looking for a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:42 PM
1

I can understand that reasoning but I feel like that’s more common with people that just need to work on self awareness. I don’t think it’s necessarily a gender thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:41 PM
1

Lol why do I keep seeing myself in people you describe. I was very much the same, super tomboy and it was normally hurting dudes on accident rather than beating them up haha. It’s interesting to think about but there’s most likely something that triggered a change at some point. I know loosing my grandma young affected me and I felt a lot of guilt and then I moved schools and felt completely different, became much more drawn in on myself. It’s very likely it could have been the relationships tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:20 PM
5

Yeah normally doesn’t make sense cost wise to make clothes from scratch anymore, it’s gotten really pricey. Most people I know do it for the enjoyment of creating their own clothes. Normally the same with a lot of sewing and handmade projects.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 04:43 PM
1

That certainly seems normal. It’s quite strange all the things you have in common with my ex. His bio dad was extremely abusive and ended up in jail. His step father is less physical but he’s still very abusive to his mother. He probably doesn’t realize how easy it is to recognize because I had a feeling since one of the first times I visited. Even if you can’t directly involve yourself, which I understand gets really tricky, I’m glad your still trying to help from the outside. Ah I definitely k…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 04:19 PM
1

Yeah I couldn’t imagine how thought it’d be seeing your parent in that situation. Not too surprised that her depression got worse from that, least your mom has you around sometimes. I definitely understand the feeling your moms in, I do hope she is able to see things and do what’s best for her
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 04:04 PM
1

Haha seems like your family got the luck of the draw in these ways lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 03:56 PM
1

Yeah it can definitely happen on either side, heard quite a few stories and of it happening similar to that
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 03:54 PM
1

Okay dude
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 03:52 PM
1

Well some may believe that but I don’t. Abuse is abuse regardless of gender
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 01:33 PM
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Don’t seem to have much difference from high heels in my mind. Men in history had some bomb high heels speaking of lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 09:13 AM
3

Thanks I appreciate that haha. Yeah those are things I need to work on, lessening the paranoia will be a bonus lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:58 AM
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Honestly not too sure, some could be, some couldn’t be. Everyone has their own reasonings for attaching a stereotype to something people enjoy
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:39 AM
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Just from my personal experience I’ve seen more guys make fun of the massive pickup trucks. I just roll my eyes, people can enjoy whatever they want to. I’ve heard girls say it too, just hear it more often from guys around me
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:32 AM
3

Very true, I’m also aware I’m more paranoid than average for relationships but at least I know so I can work on it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:24 AM
5

That’s true but is that told to women? I hadn’t heard that except in old sitcoms or older married men making jokes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:29 AM
2

Yeah that would definitely be rough and could contribute to it certainly. Id be careful with assuming her diagnosis though. I definitely get that, I was stuck in a similar mental state can’t quite pin what age I feel like but I do realize I definitely become very immature for my age if an episode hits. It’s very lucky she’s stuck on her dads passing and needs help processing it. Yeah it definitely was but was a blessing in disguise since I got myself into some therapy. I honestly wish I could gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:20 AM
2

Lol okay
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:06 AM
2

I can definitely see why you feel pressure after seeing your edit. It’s good at least you can already see where you went wrong in the beginning. Ahh yeah I can understand that as well. No idea what she’s dealing with but she does sound incredibly similar to me. When I was with my ex I hit my lowest point when I found out he was cheating and I finally went to therapy. I was diagnosed with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder, not saying that’s what she has but I see some similarities with he…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:34 AM
3

Also thank you for calling my thoughts eloquent, never thought of them like that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:17 AM
2

No problem! I’ve had experience with a controlling boyfriend so I definitely understand being jumpy towards even good intentions that can be seen as controlling
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:16 AM
3

That’s why women are so cautious. People who are controlling and abusive can be really good at hiding their true selves. My ex changed after a year of being together. Some abusers wait until after marriage or kids. Dating is full of risks for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:15 AM
2

Ah my past self feels attacked lol. Other than bringing around drama lol. Normally when insecurities are that large that they affect the relationship they definitely need to be worked on in therapy, really that’s things that need to be worked on in therapy and things I’m still working on lol. Yeah when someone tries to help a partner in that way it normally doesn’t help and just damages the relationship. Average people aren’t equipped to help in the long run. When people have their own problems …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:14 AM
4

No problem, it’s more of it can be a sign. People will start small and push to see how much they can get away with. Because of stories or experience some people are more paranoid about controlling actions or behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:02 AM
2

Well I’m so happy that I could share another side. Hmm interesting what he experienced that was so draining, I certainly know some relationships can deplete you. I think it is a good thing to try and work on your relationship because each one will have their ups and downs, it’s just a matter of deciding how to deal with them and find someone who will try and work through it with you. I hope with some more insight you’ll have a better idea going forward. I do want to say that fighting till the ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:00 AM
3

If you hear or have experience with controlling people if often starts out very small so it can be hard to not be jumpy at times, especially if you haven’t developed deep trust over a length of time. It’s something to work on and some people have harder times trusting
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 05:47 AM
2

Ah yeah sorry I assumed, shouldn’t have. I know what your talking about, my ex was similar in ways. Well it’s good you were called out and reflected on yourself. I think it’s also tricker because low self esteem can often manifest in different ways in each gender sometime so we only think of own experiences. Well I’m glad I could help you see another side by sharing my experience. Living through those years were hell but being able to give advice from my experience has been nice lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 05:42 AM
3

Understandable but those are all things that won’t generally help unless the person decides they need it. Especially therapy. I can give some personal experience from not wanting to leave a job even though I wasn’t treated the best. No idea if it’s helpful but you mentioned low self esteem and depression both things I’ve dealt with. Mines probably a tad different because I had been at that job since I started working and I’d been there for multiple years. When it comes to low self esteem the tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 05:16 AM
2

Interesting. Yeah most likely why people are cautious because that seems common when someone tries to control another’s life. Would you be able to give me examples of how you give a reality check? I’m just curious because my ex would use that phrase as well so people often have different meanings when they say it
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 05:02 AM
1

Not sure what your point in replying to me was. Was just saying guys made lists at my school
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 04:54 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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