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Luscious-Grass Archive

View 6 posts and 496 comments by Luscious-Grass on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

You are not ready to get married if you think it’s in any way reasonable or conceivable to force the person you are marrying to do anything. He is showing you who he is and how he shows up. Pay attention to that, and get the dollar signs out of your eyes. The only option you have is to vulnerably tell him your fears about moving in with him before a proposal and see how he responds to that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/26 05:38 PM
26

A large age gap benefits men, and it benefits women when they are young (resources and ease sooner). It may or may not be a good thing for them when they are older and widowed. Depends a lot on kids and wealth accumulated (hardly a guarantee). Here is a summary of studies on age gaps. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202510/age-gaps-in-relationships-7-scientific-facts/amp You don’t need a large age gap to have a red pill / traditional marriage. It’s optional. The peop…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 10:56 AM
4

We recently came back from a 2 week trip where I took this approach on purpose for the exact reason you bring up - it’s impossible to navigate and manage kids at the same time. Because I have been leading more in my marriage than I want to and should have been in recent years, my husband has been reluctant to lead in situations where I have a stronger skill set, but going into the trip we both agreed there really isn’t a better way to arrange ourselves for a smooth trip for everyone. It was a gr…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/26 12:07 AM
2

I can relate to this, and I think you are correct that it stems from trust issues / feeling unseen, rightly or wrongly. I believe the solution is to continue to communicate your feelings to your husband (bring him the problem) instead of the solution (your asking for help in a very specific way). In your rain example, the best course of action would have been for you to share what you were feeling that made you want to reject his offer. You were feeling something. What was it? Whatever it was, i…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 07:43 PM
33

A wealthy man in his late 30’s is always going to be dicey; and wealth has nothing to do with character. I don’t have advice about how to meet people (I’ve been married 12 years), but I can tell you that financially stable, trustworthy and generous (with time, effort, attention) is waaaaay better than a selfish, wealthy liar. You truly do have a lot of time. If I were you I would probably go to church and get involved in male activities like hiking. Vet hard on character, and be super wary of fl…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 06:55 AM
23

It sounds like you feel like the only person in the world with a painful circumstance. Stop focusing so much on yourself and start noticing the problems of others - there is a great deal of suffering in the world. If you think women have it easy, you are likely only focusing on the ones who have it easy…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/26 03:18 AM
5

I say this as a 42 year old woman with a lot of trauma: The reason is that trauma often makes people of both sexes inclined to try control their environments more and trust less and, IF a person values a more traditional relationship dynamic where the man plans and leads and the woman supports and follows, this change on average makes men more desirable and women less desirable. I’m not saying I agree or disagree, but this is the answer to your question.
/r/ExRedPill30/05/26 06:44 AM
7

It sounds like your trigger here was her messaging someone when you were on a trip - it's understandable this would make your antenna go up. I wouldn't beat yourself up too hard about that. Your girlfriend is a individual human being, not an representative of the monolith "Women." In other words, you'll have to observe her individually for longer before you know you can trust her; some women are trustworthy, and some are not. Regarding how to reframe your current views into a healthier POV, plea…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/26 12:08 PM
3

Why do you feel you need to explain yourself? It’s important to realize you truly don’t. Simply only meet men who are likely to meet your standard and avoid the rest.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 09:25 PM
1

Um, legacy. A healthy married man is building a legacy through a happy, healthy family. It’s very hard to be a good husband and father, it’s very easy, if you are good looking and moderately clever, to do what’s easy and simply gratifying. Generally hard things are higher status than easy things, especially when they benefit others as well as yourself.
/r/ExRedPill25/05/26 01:00 PM
–

Time. Go slow and look out for love bombing.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 09:31 AM
–

Focus on character. Character will help make a man successful, and it's the most important variable regarding how he will behave if he does become successful.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 09:06 AM
7

I would be relentless with yourself about if you are communicating actual feelings and not judgments. Most of us don’t know how to communicate vulnerably without practice. You won’t know what you can or can’t expect from him unless you are truly keeping your side of the street clean first and not trying to lead. Both Laura Doyle’s book and this guy Zack Roedde I found recently have some good material about how to honor yourself as a woman without taking your man’s job away and making him a defen…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/26 07:12 PM
9

Tell him how you feel about everything (vulnerably and without blame) instead of going against him or challenging him. Be outcome independent and trust that he will do his best to balance your needs with the bigger picture he is working towards. Apartment example “I feel scared that x,y,z. I will miss a,b,c.” Maybe he still wants to move but finds a new apartment that addresses the feelings you shared. Your feelings are feedback for him to work into his plan. If you are critical or blamey then i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/26 06:05 PM
2

Question: Are you planning to take care of kids expenses with that 4.5k a month or are you expecting your new provider husband to take care of everything for you and your 4 kids?
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 10:21 PM
7

This is not appropriate, I hope the mods remove this post that has nothing to do with being a red pill woman. Go start an only fans and leave us alone, please.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/26 11:56 AM
16

Do not take the initiative. Do not lead in any way. You are vetting and watching. It’s fine to be up front about what you want in general but you may have come on too strong and leading, which makes men back off. A happy relationship will be one where the man leads and you flow well with his leadership. You make it impossible for either of you to evaluate that compatibility when you are as you put it “eager beaver.” So just back off and let him show you who he is and what his intentions are. Try…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 06:43 PM
1

Oops I commented from my phone and replied to you by mistake
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 10:51 AM
1

You can’t take on the heavy lifting of restoring your intimacy. That will never work. What do you mean your relationship was on and off for religious reasons driven by you?
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 06:09 PM
4

I have felt similarly trapped and without options at points in my 20's, and I'm sorry you're going through this. Here is what I would tell mid 20's me: *Don't create false dichotomies (I can either stay with my boyfriend or go back and live with my parents), and be BRAVE. Be willing to think creatively and bravely about other options. When I was in my early 20's I was living with a boyfriend (still friends to this day) to whom I also was not adequately attracted. I did not have stable income and…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 09:30 AM
3

I find it just as annoying as you do (our husbands sound similar) but you cannot attempt to lead your husband in this way or any other way and get anywhere good. You will not be more satisfied and you will probably sabotage his potential success because he will bristle at everything he experiences as leading by you even if you are right. You have to give up the attempt to design outcomes for him to enact (him having a specific type of business success for example). That’s his job. That’s really …
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/26 12:01 AM
1

Ok, I’m relieved to hear you were offering encouragement. You might consider adding an edit to your comment to add clarity.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 08:54 PM
8

Tell him you feel scared and confused by the sudden withdrawal and then STFU You’re right to be concerned, the silent treatment is terrible. All you can do is express how it makes you feel without attack or blame (hardest part as a woman as it feels unfair but it’s essential because men can’t take criticism from women). You will only get your answers from through watching his behavior after you share your non-blaming feelings. Sending hugs and empathy.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 06:35 PM
1

Above a woman shared that she was a nurse and said you have a blessed lifelong . Your reply was to tell her not to get with married men, which was uncalled for considering she said nothing at all that would indicate she’d consider doing so. It gave away a hidden fear or insecurity you have. If you won’t be honest with us about it in an AMA, I hope you’ll at least be honest with yourself about it because repressed emotions hurt people - you and those around you.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 04:09 PM
0

Are you going to admit to us how painfully insecure you are having a husband like this working in a hospital around nurses all the time (shocked by your unprovoked aggressive comments above) and how no amount of spa appointments can make that insecurity go away?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 02:16 PM
27

You're not broken beyond repair, but you're looking to make a husband your God, and you need to reflect on that and your desire to submit and serve (which is a positive drive, but not if it is applied indiscriminately - such as towards a man who cheats on you or is otherwise self-serving). You can't make a husband your God. You need to find a good man who follows God (not in a performative way but who is truly moral and works to model himself after Jesus - trust me, you don't want to live for a …
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 09:52 AM
10

What the red pill guys didn’t tell you is women are very capable of thinking an “alpha” guy is appealing sexually but actually gross as a long term partner, as in have no respect for the guy and think he is a moron, more or less. If she actually respects you as a person and treats you with respect consistently then she’s not wishing you were a different guy. You would be able to tell if she was hung up on someone else.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 01:11 AM
4

Listen, all you can do right now is continue not to engage in any of your controlling, aggressive behaviors that alienated him and stop asking for a hug for or anything that he is not offering (and it sounds like he is still showing up as your husband, albeit a very foot out the door one emotionally speaking. As long as he is not cheating and in lust/limerence with someone else (in which case the situation may be hopeless), all you can do is be very consistent by showing him that you are a chang…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/26 01:49 AM
-1

I guess I will get downvoted, but I agree with you insofar that I believe the red pill ideas brought to the surface something that was hidden and true; that women respond to the psychological tricks you are describing (which to be clear are bad) because women (and all people) are very oriented around status. Being a "nice guy" was getting a lot of men burned when they thought that being a nice guy by itself was going to get and keep women. The red pill exposed the dark nature that can exist in w…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/26 06:55 PM
13

Look, I'll use the same logic you are using to describe why you need look at your own behavior; even if you divorce, petulantly and unilaterally deciding last minute (day of is last minute when you have a 22 month old) that you are going to go somewhere and need that person's cooperation is going to cause you problems in your co-parenting relationship and any other future relationship you have. It's great that you want to prioritize self-care, and taking responsibility to fill your own cup is a …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 10:58 AM
15

I've been saying (to myself haha) for many years that people rejecting gender roles are really just people who are rejecting responsibility; role implies responsibility, and that is what people find so hard bear.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/25 10:21 PM
9

Did I just read that you have been dating a month and might move into his house soon? You really should have raised this right out of the gate. Own it. You have a good career, I assume you have some retirement and savings? If you have a good income, if you work even 3 more years you can pay a house down payment with your salary. Your retirement savings will compound over the years and become significant 30 years from now. You have a lot to offer, you are not looking for a man to bail you out of …
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 01:44 AM
6

Well said
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 01:25 AM
5

I (41 y/o mom of 2 working remotely in tech) live in a university town with a large academic health center which means socially we are friends with many male and female doctors and other medical professionals, and I’ve really seen the full range of combinations. It seems like healthcare offers a lot of options that can be family friendly down the line (can do part time hours as a radiologist, dermatologist, etc), which is amazing! A mindset of flexibility is key. When you have a family (even if …
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/25 10:25 AM
10

Do you plan to have kids? If so, I honestly wouldn’t worry about any of this; you’ll have pleeeeeeeenty to do after kids come along. Also, being really nice to him, never saying no to sex, and pulling your weight financially are huge for a man. Unless he is a people pleaser and overly self sacrificing overall, take his word at face value, and just encourage him to communicate with you openly and honestly if his feelings ever change.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 12:54 AM
3

He love bombed you because that was his subconscious way of hooking you in before he switched to acting 100% selfishly, jerking you around with no consideration for you at all. Who cares if he is 6'3" and wealthy (at the moment)? You are describing someone who is going to crash and burn, if not now, at some point in his life. 100% guaranteed. My suggestion is to reflect deeply about what you value in a man. Is it outward peacocking type traits or does character come into play?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 08:40 PM
18

Being an adult means communicating and making decisions. If you know what you want (not to eat at a food truck) you need to tell him, especially if he asks. He can’t read your mind. Imagine the future where you have multiple kids. Do you think he’s going to be able to make every decision for you about dilemmas or challenges you face? That will be impossible. You need to lean into developing as an adult and making decisions. If he is asking your opinion about something you really don’t have an op…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 12:11 PM
–

Make sure you have a job/career that you genuinely like and that can be scaled up or down easily. You have no idea what the future holds, so be prepared. A lot of women who eventually stay at home don’t start out that way because early in marriage it might not be affordable. Men who ultimately want that for their families will be attracted to a woman who provides that flexibility and collaborative spirit. So definitely start there. Don’t just tread water in the work world. Genuinely try to find …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/25 08:25 AM
6

Just hold a firm boundary. You articulated very well why you conduct yourself the way you do, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You both know that he is projecting his insecurities on you when you do what he is too ashamed to do; relax when you have met your responsibilities for the day. His behavior is not born from an actual request of you rooted in unfairness or inconsideration on your part. You can say “I’m relaxing right now because I deserve it” calmly with a smile, and mean it. You c…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 12:28 AM
3

I think it's ok that we are asking more from men on the relationship skills front. Relationship skills aren't only for women. Men are absolutely capable of cultivating them, and when they do, they are happier and healthier in every area of life. There are still plenty of things that make men men and women women. Mutual consideration is not asking for too much from marriage or men. We can also be mutually considerate of our respective needs to have social circles that extend beyond constant one o…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/25 05:45 PM
3

So, are you talking about a man’s innocent mistake that inadvertently puts something you care about at risk, or are you talking about disregard for the things you care about, as evidenced by chronically thoughtless behavior? If the former, you get over it. Remember all of the times he gave you grace when you made a mistake. No need to make an annoying situation worse by hurting his feelings. If the latter, that needs to be addressed. Just ignoring “weaponized incompetence” is a recipe for resent…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/25 01:14 AM
22

There is no cheese down this tunnel. Also who cares if he is a millionaire if he has no integrity and character? I’m 41 (married with kids). Been there, done that. Run.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/25 08:46 AM
24

I also earn double my husband. My husband’s job is more prestigious than mine (he is a respected academic) which helps, but when I was really struggling with this I told him that I hated earning more and feeling responsible for the big picture goals of our family. I felt he was very motivated to gain prestige and promotions (with tiny pay raises), but not motivated to ensure our long term financial future. In telling him this, we began the process of jointly writing and working towards our big p…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/25 05:12 PM
2

You know, you may not be a believer and that's fine, but for 2000 years men have been entering marriages with the instruction to "love their wives like christ loves his followers/the church" i.e. sacrificially/altruistically. I don't think it's weird that women want that, I think it's quite primal and has been a part of western civilization for a long time. However of course you are correct that women have forgotten their own instruction to respect their husbands and to also sacrificially love t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 05:50 PM
11

Is it really so clear that a person who was cruel (your words) and manipulative (wouldn't help you get relief from a bad situation until you did exactly what he wanted) loved you so much? Love is a verb. Loving your wife means wanting to support her flourishing. Maybe grad school was a bad idea, but a loving husband would want to understand what his wife was hoping to get from it, and if it was a misguided path, he would want to help her find a better path to get closer to her calling. That's le…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 03:57 PM
8

Just FYI, kids start to benefit from being in a school environment earlier than I realized before I had kids. From 2+, kids have a lot more fun in half-day daycare with other kids than they do watching tv at home (reality of vast majority of SAHMs in my community). And this costs money... I used to want to be a SAHM, but now that I have 2 kids, I am very glad I am not; I would not be able to care for them all day everyday adequately by myself AND handle all domestic work (meals, shopping, cleani…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/25 11:20 AM
2

You shouldn’t be living with him.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 09:37 PM
4

I’m 40 and men still notice me, but they treat me more like a person. I much prefer it. When I was younger I got oppressive, depersonalizing attention.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/25 11:26 PM
8

My husband used to be like this. I had to share vulnerably how much it stressed me out to walk into our living room to relax for a precious 45 mins after putting our kids down to bed only to see his clothing draped all over the place. It took time, but he has dramatically improved.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 03:56 AM
3

What’s wrong with commission only jobs? You will never have more freedom and flexibility than with this scenario. I work in sales, and sales is one of the most lucrative, flexible jobs you can have. Sounds like a good fit for someone building a business on the side! Saw your comment below about lead times. There are some sales jobs with short sales cycles for sure! To answer your question, my husband is a professor.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 07:45 AM
9

I’ve never heard that before, that men complain to get praise, but it makes sense. I will try to praise my husband after he complains and see what happens!
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 11:58 AM
7

Most non-religious men will be ok with a stay at home wife/mom if and only if circumstances allow, and a lot of times they won’t know that when you first get together because they won’t yet know how their career is going to go and if they can visualize doing it for enough years to support a family and save for retirement by themselves. Most men in 2024 who eventually have the resources to comfortably support a stay at home wife meet their wife when they are both pursuing a career. My advice to y…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/24 12:54 PM
20

Every woman I know with a husband who makes you say “Wow, she’s so lucky!!” met him during the “building” phase. It’s nearly impossible to find a single, baggage free very desirable man because they all pretty much settle down in their “building” phase. If he seems genuinely besotted with you, your support and loyalty during this time will only make your relationship stronger, not weaker. If he was using you for convenience and comfort while he worked to be attractive to the women he really want…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 04:35 PM
17

I know this is not official red pill sanctioned, but I had sex with my husband on the second date (although we had been crushing on each other for a while and in the same social circle), and we’ve been married 10 years this year. I would go back and be honest with him and tell him you’re just concerned that having sex early can make it less likely he takes you seriously. Right now he probably thinks you want to pull back from sex because it’s not any good… I would make sure he doesn’t think that…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 12:23 AM
1

Ok, that’s a relief to hear that your phrasing was due to not being a native English speaker.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 10:20 AM
1

Sorry, but I cringed when you referred to yourself as a 30 year old “girl.” Made me suspect that you likely have unrealistic expectations about relationship roles - long term relationships are not about being catered to in an unbalanced way as you might be experiencing in the honey moon phases.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 01:15 AM
27

Stop offering but on occasion sneak a small purchase - bring him a Starbucks coffee, pay for movie snacks while he is in the bathroom, etc. It will not undermine the overall dynamic, he will feel appreciated, and you will also feel nice about showing appreciation.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/24 09:55 PM
7

First of all, give yourself permission to have a cranky day after a bunch of family leave and you were stressed preparing. It’s inherently stressful to have people in your home and space for an extended period, for you and your husband both. Give yourself space to feel cranky as you recalibrate, maybe see if you can vent to a friend, and avoid ruminating - you should return to baseline in a day or two. Second, I hear you on the broken promises thing. I struggle with that in my own marriage. My h…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 12:19 PM
7

You can tell him more details if you really want to, I don’t think it will negate the work you are doing!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/24 09:06 PM
93

I personally would just say that you are working on yourself and this is part of that and leave it at that!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/24 08:26 PM
7

All you can do is keep practicing communicating in a feminine way (talking about what you like and what feels good to you to inspire him instead of criticizing and complaining), and keep watching how he responds as you are still in the vetting stage with this man. In my opinion, DEEPLY submitting is not realistic ever in life and not a healthy way for an adult to behave. You are an adult woman with your own agency. Being open, cooperative, and feminine is a healthy goal, and you can continue to …
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/24 01:10 PM
20

Is this a real question? This is a 10 red flag. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 10:22 PM
11

There is no respectful way to do this. Being respectful is respecting other people’s personal choices. If you can’t accept him then he is not the one for you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 10:20 AM
5

Being respectful means accepting another person as they are and not criticizing, controlling, or undermining them. It doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion or give feedback about behaviors that make you uncomfortable, but it does mean minimizing negative feedback and delivering it in a way where you are taking responsibility for your own feelings instead of immediately placing blame. The above description of respectful behavior is something that can and should apply to all relationships we are …
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/24 03:17 PM
14

You’re doing multiple full time jobs…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/24 02:30 PM
2

Men have basically no standards for a first date, which in 2024 often leads to sex. If your hypothesis were correct, this woman's complaints would be about securing commitment from a desirable man (a common complaint we see on this forum), not having issues finding a man she wants to keep dating.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 05:47 PM
7

It doesn't matter if there are men who prefer 25 year olds and don't choose her because they prefer 25 year olds. Those men are not even in her pool. Her pool of potential suiters are men who would be in a serious, committed relationship with a 40 year old woman. There absolutely are high-quality men from say 37-57 who date and marry 40 year old women even if they would prefer to sleep with a 20 year old for many reasons. Arguably, the most desirable men in that age range would date and marry a …
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:26 PM
14

You say you miss him, love him, and want him around. Have you tried telling him that in a non-accusatory way? Maybe wait until you’ve had a family evening that fits your vision and tell him how much it meant to you? Another element is, do YOU have time for a hobby and your own self care? If not, would carving out some time for your own self-care help with your budding resentment?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:00 AM
7

If she lives in a small or mid-sized city, it is entirely possible that the limiting factor is not her desirability but rather the existence of single men who would happily select her if she were to come across them in a larger market.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 02:37 AM
5

Unfortunately, dating as a 40 y/o woman is very challenging simply due to demographics, as you stated. Where are you meeting the men you dated, online? My suggestion would be to get involved in your community and look to meet men that way. A local business owner’s association, church, volunteering, activity groups, and so on. A man who maintains commitments to his community has a higher chance of being emotionally stable, and you’ll see right away how he interacts with and is regarded by others.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 02:27 AM
15

I agree, it’s the title. I work in tech sales and make 2-3 times more than my husband, but he is a STEM professor at a top flagship university, which many people would consider a more prestigious job than mine. He has zero issues with our income disparity, I think because he feels proud of his career and fulfilled. I certainly could never in a million years do his job. I often wish he earned more, however… What kind of men are you attracted to?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 02:14 AM
8

You made an agreement to condone his porn use until you return to pre baby weight? I’m sorry, but no. I don’t have advice unfortunately and I feel for you, but I stopped by to give you a reality check that this is a RIDICULOUS agreement that you should walk back right now.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 02:17 AM
29

I’m pre coffee so please excuse the brevity: This is not going to turn into a serious relationship. 0% chance.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 12:51 PM
1

I don’t think tough love advice (or this sub) is the right place for OP who has, according to her own assessment, serious mental health challenges best dealt with by a professional. I hope we can be more empathetic towards OP.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/24 07:59 PM
-7

What’s wrong with looking for some support and validation?
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/24 01:57 AM
9

Yikes. This tradwife content is really toxic. Being a SAHM and wife is not a princess lifestyle, it’s damn hard work! Those videos are fake and stupid made by some young women before kids are in the picture (typically a short window of time). A princess lifestyle is a RIDICULOUS life expectation, and worst of all, it puts your well-being and happiness completely out of your own control. The result is frankly UNDIGNIFIED behavior such as you are exhibiting. Any healthy man is going to run in the …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 01:51 PM
1

Yes I think intrusive is the right word to use for this situation. Maybe because I have an intrusively “caring” mother I recognize it right away, and it makes me want to act a lot like the husband! It’s not actually caring to railroad over another person with no regard for what they want in an effort to exert control.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 11:45 AM
4

I don't pick up "beta woman" vibes from this. I pick up her trying to exert control, and him lashing out about it. She "masks" her controlling what he eats and what activities they do together by couching it as a service to him that he clearly didn't ask for and maybe doesn't even want.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 12:32 AM
8

Red pill is about the dynamic in your relationship and awareness about fundamental gender differences, not about who makes an income. Most non-rich women have ALWAYS worked throughout history in varying roles and capacities because it was required for survival. Most professional men who could support or one day support a SAHM are flexible about their wife working or not, and that includes many red pill minded men who want a feminine wife and relationship with male/female polarity. This is good b…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 01:01 AM
10

How old are you? One option is to save as much as you can before having kids. If you can contribute some savings to this plan, you will open up your pool of men who will support it. Also, if you develop a career enough to save money pre kids, it will make it easier to take a step back for small children and then re-enter the work force to do things like help pay for their college education. The above is a good plan if your sincere goal is to be present with young children. If your actual goal is…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/24 01:27 PM
2

I love this reply.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 05:23 PM
3

I think you need to be cautious here and not get too swept up. You need to vet him very carefully before you get too deep, not only because of his sexual past, but 2 other reasons as well. 1) it’s a red flag to me that he pulled out all of the stops so quickly with the tasting menu etc. All because you’re a good looking woman reading at the park? There are lot’s of those… this is a move he is comfortable using… 2) Taking care of a single mom since he graduated college sounds sweet, but it’s a ve…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 12:37 PM
1

You need to ask him more questions about this. Tell him what you imagined for yourself, whatever that is, and ask if he sees compatibility with that vision or if he’d see issues. You shouldn’t just breeze past this and try to accept something deep down that would disappoint you later. Or just hope he’ll change or be different. Ask him. Talk about it. Maybe you can find acceptable middle ground.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 07:15 PM
6

I'm a 40 year old woman with a 3 minute makeup routine, muffin; I'm hardly an object for looking like I slept a few hours longer than I actually did.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 06:03 PM
11

This is so stupid. Do you have a Christmas tree? Do you plan to decorate it with lights and balls? It's fun to enhance natural beauty.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 12:19 PM
6

That’s a separate point - you said “what maid is making 100k?” when the reality is that domestic labor is very expensive. That is what I was responding to.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 07:03 PM
10

I’m a working mom making significantly more than 100k. I looked into outsourcing as much as possible regarding cleaning, daycare, laundry, grocery shopping (including menu planning and choosing the groceries), cooking, packing lunches, buying the kids clothes, bringing them to activities, learning about child rearing best practices, buying birthday gifts for birthday parties (constantly happening), etc. Guess what? It’s a lot more than 100k. The job would be a full time nanny plus a household ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 02:54 PM
7

I recommend you read Laura Doyle's Empowered Wife for some strategies. At this point, you can only work on cleaning up your side of the street and seeing if that helps. Until you do that, you simply won't know how much of an impact it could make on your relationship and your future. Separately, how would your husband respond if you wanted to put your baby in daycare and get a full time job until you are on more solid financial footing, have you asked him? Would he flip out or would he support it…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 05:52 PM
11

You’re fine - the important point is that he has put in a ton of effort to pursue you (effort isn’t only about money). A man would only perceive this as masculine if it was your attempt to pursue him when he was not pursuing as heavily. That is not the case here, and I am sure he will appreciate it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 09:22 PM
8

Men want a partner in life, yes, but it’s not the same as a 50-50 financial split from beginning to end. I make more than my husband, but I feel safe knowing that in his heart that he feels ultimately responsible for making sure our family is ok. If we ever felt that one of our kids really needed more time with a parent, for example, he would not be resentful at all if I downshifted work (although of course our lifestyle would have to adjust, but he would not mind at all). The initial stages of …
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 12:31 PM
3

Yes because since I don’t automatically have a reactive reaction every time, when he pushes it a little too far and I do have a reaction (a calm vulnerable one), it makes him sit up and pay attention. He doesn’t admit it out right and apologize, but he will be nicer and butter up to me.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 11:27 PM
1

Men are just people, too. They go through things. He might be struggling with his role and his work. At this stage, you have to ensure your own financial future and make going back to work a priority. You are not married, and you don’t know if you can count on this relationship. Once you are back in a safer place you can go back to deciding what to do about this relationship, but you can’t will it to work and count on it at this stage for your well being and safety. That has to be your priority …
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 11:23 PM
6

Yes, my husband is exactly like you described in your first paragraph. He takes excellent care of me and is nurturing even, but he is just very harsh with his tone of voice and at times words. Fortunately I even have his mom on my side with this and she reminds him he has to be softer in his tone. The best way I can describe him is that sometimes he sort of barks in what he perceives as even a sort of funny way, but for me it does not feel good. All you can do is be true to yourself as it relate…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 08:02 PM
7

Wait, when they try to have sex with you you say yes but only if you pay me? I am confused.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 06:33 PM
1

Can you define athletic nerd? A nerd how is athletic or a nerd who treats his intellectual pursuits like a sport?
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 02:55 PM
37

The odds are good, but the goods are odd :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 10:31 PM
28

There are enormous benefits when one person in the marriage can spend all of their time managing the home front - it’s just really, really expensive if an upper middle class+ lifestyle is desired (in particular if there are kids). Some men value this enough to sacrifice lifestyle/retirement etc. in order to have a stay at home spouse. It’s a trade off some people are willing to make and some not. Some men would be fine with it if and only if they had a high enough income and didn’t hate their jo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 12:16 AM
23

If I was in your situation, I would a) reduce my commitments because it’s not good for anyone if I’m exhausted, and b) I would schedule breaks for myself and simply leave the house, say Saturday mornings, to go do something for myself and leave my husband with the kids. In what world does your husband deserve breaks but you don’t? It’s not your kids you need to set firmer boundaries with, it’s your husband.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:14 AM
7

He’s your husband, not your boyfriend, and he is struggling with something very real that is rooted in something that is not his fault. We aren’t always maximally attracted to our spouses, who are as a rule imperfect, and so as his wife this is now also your cross to bare when it crops up, which it will. Having said that, you are entitled to set boundaries about who visits your home and for how long and where you yourself go. If he gets resentful about it, that is for him to manage. It is not yo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 04:00 PM
24

Are you surprising him with home cooked meals? This is a good idea. It might not hurt to also surprise him here and there with a few drinks or coffees, ice creams etc. when you are out. You can pay when he is not looking and just bring the items to him. I have heard many well-to-do men complain about paying with no token reciprocation. Men who would not mind shouldering 99.99% of the financial cost of outings but who grew to resent being taken for granted. So just be mindful of that. Even tradit…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 02:07 PM
5

What specifically concerns you about Jordan Peterson, Matt Walsh and Candace Owens? A lot different than the Andrew Tates of the world... In any case, if you no longer align on values, it's time to break up. It's not your job to get through to another adult or save someone from themselves.
/r/ExRedPill07/10/23 10:18 AM
1

I’ll let the reader decide if they want trust someone making a 100% promise
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 05:18 PM
1

Accountability? She is not accountable to prospective future relationship partners regarding the past. She is accountable regarding the relationship and her conduct in the relationship. Most men are not going to push for this information, and she doesn’t need to feel guilty about it and make it more of a focal point than it needs to be as it will only hurt her and her future relationships to do so.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/23 01:59 PM
2

I’m not taking about financial prospects. I’m talking about class markers. Which men DO care about a great deal, and they will choose a less attractive woman (as long as she is thin) from the “right” SES over a more attractive one from the “wrong” SES. That’s not blue pill. It’s just highlighting that attraction doesn’t drive every aspect of marriage decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/23 12:24 AM
1

This is utterly false. Educated men, high earning men marry plain women from similar backgrounds over better looking ones every.single.day. It matters. A LOT.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/23 12:42 AM
2

Do not listen to anyone telling you to be honest about this. What you have done in your past is frankly no one's business, and you don't owe anyone answers about it. Also, if you are conducting yourself well and have grown far away from this behavior, it is unlikely any good quality man you would attract would ask you directly. If a man cares about this to an extreme degree, he would avoid a 27 year old because in 2023, the vast majority of single 27 year old women have sexual experience. What m…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/23 12:38 AM
30

Listen to your gut. If he is cheap (a virtue to some), it’s a very ingrained behavior. There is nothing wrong with your preference, and if you married him you would be uncomfortable about this for the rest of your life. I’m all for communicating but realistically this will not change.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/23 10:22 PM
-1

You’re in med school so it doesn’t matter nearly as much as if you were a hairdresser in which case, yes, most men would care.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/23 01:03 PM
0

I say this as someone who finds myself attracted to conventionally unattractive and/or short and/or bald men all the time when they carry themselves a certain way: If you can figure out how to maneuver your way to a high salary (let’s say 200k), this likely means you have a high level of competence across several dimensions- social as well as technical competence - and THAT is attractive to women. If you can avoid turning into putty, as they say, in the presence of a woman (big if) and you have …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 12:10 PM
28

It will be helpful if you give more information about the tasks in question. That said, if you say I can't do something but then you go and do it, you're training him to think he can just push harder and that you'll cave. Assuming your "I can'ts" are reasonable and not putting the family in a bad situation or going back on commitments you've made, then I suggest you say "I can't. I am going to go take a nap because that's what I need to recharge right now. I'll be happy to talk about this again …
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/22 02:33 AM
8

Yeah, this sounds like a painful betrayal! You are doing the right thing by offering your support. My husband is also very cautious and takes time to make decisions. Unfortunately you can't try to nudge things along by offering to do his resume. As long as he isn't lashing out at you (which it doesn't sound like he is), then you really just have to ride this out by affirming that you believe in him while he processes his emotions around his boss betraying and humiliating him (this is super painf…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/22 02:06 PM
5

You left out disgust. Bi men and high N count women both DISGUST the average woman and man, respectively. And being disgusted is a legitimate reason to pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 04:57 PM
1

Purely anecdotal, but I have always found men the most attractive right around 30. They are coming into their own confidence wise at this point, have accomplishments, and are not yet declining physically. Men are very DATABLE past 30 absolutely, well past 30. But raw physical attraction? Men in the late 30's are just not as appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 02:57 AM
1

I mean, a lot of people above say they think Khloe Kardashian is attractive so maybe it’s not so bad! It’s just somewhat of a handicap.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 06:37 PM
4

I think you need to agree in a cutoff for short. 5’8 and up, yes, I can see that. 5’7 and below? That’s a tough spot for men. If they are really great guys, yes, they can eventually get even a very good partner. But they will feel the struggle for years. Being a decently preserved 50 year old woman with limited baggage (debt, contentious divorce, kids with multiple dads or a dead beat dad, etc) and a good attitude is appealing to many men 50+. If I may ask, how old are you? Could youth be contri…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 08:55 PM
0

Body hair 100% agree but nails???
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:19 PM
4

It really isn’t. It’s not hard for a woman in her 50’s to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:18 PM
3

It’s not age. Women of all ages easily find partners. Men prefer younger women, sure, but they are happy to date women their age or even older if that’s all they can manage. Unfortunately, being very short means most women will not give a guy a chance unless he has truly oversize charisma, wealth, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:17 PM
20

Is she? Pre surgery and filters? Anyway let’s put her aside, and I’ll restate: maybe the female equivalent of being short is having manly features - excessive body hair, manly face, wide shoulders, no waist, etc. Maybe there is a hormonal component to what I am describing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:14 PM
32

Whatever makes Khloe Kardashian hopelessly unattractive - large bone structure, masculine facial features etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 05:04 PM
6

Great reply, this is exactly how i feel about it too.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 11:26 PM
1

Stop harassing me through messages, thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 01:52 AM
1

But I’m his workhorse?
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/22 06:51 PM
2

My husband is strong enough emotionally to receive feedback about something in his power to change (if he chooses) and not going off the deep end. Furthermore, you sent me a very nice, positive video yet attack me; perhaps you should look in the mirror and learn how to behave.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 07:39 PM
1

20% more on his side would not prepare us for retirement or give us a path to reach our long term goals. It would just prevent us from drowning if I were to lose my job. I appreciate you are trying to help, but you've already assumed I am "highly emotional" and apparently that I haven't thought of obvious potential solutions. I would NEVER work a menial part time job, that would never work for me. I love my job, and I'm great at it. It's just innately high pressure, and I don't want my husband t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 01:52 PM
1

I would like him to earn about 20% more to feel secure. This in combination with my spending less will be our mortgage payment and go a long way to my feeling secure. I have achieved a lot in life by being brave enough to try - so I definitely believe based on my life experience that making 20% more is within reach for him without fundamentally changing his career. Yes, I have offered to do more childcare (which I want to do anyway since I love caring for my daughter). It's scary for me to work …
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 01:09 PM
3

Neither of us is going to downsize to live on a professors salary. He doesn’t want that either. We absolutely will pick a path, but that won’t be it. Maybe he is fine with how much he makes because I starting earning well as our expenses grew (ie children)? There is nothing wrong with my letting him know I’d like him to share more of that burden as I work in parallel to cut expenses
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 08:03 AM
2

I want to spend a little less and for him to earn a little more, yes.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 08:00 AM
1

Yes, he can take a little more imo
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 07:59 AM
2

I also agree with this. It’s funny you mention this because I gave him exactly this suggestion today. I told him I’d love if he made more money somehow and he said well, I’m not sure how that would look. And I told him just to study one of the industry related topics he loves and see if he can solve a problem he thinks is interesting and the rest will work itself out. He actually got excited by a few ideas. I also told him I’d be open to taking on more domestic work off his plate so he could foc…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 12:24 AM
2

I thought I had been clear that I want to keep my job?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 12:13 AM
1

I could not agree more that it would take drive and has to come from him, 100%. At the moment I am wondering if I made it so easy for him not to have to worry about money that it dried up any potential drive to make it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 12:07 AM
2

Yes, we have had issues about that before. His career has driven our life yet isn’t particularly high paying, so yes that is something I’ve struggled with. Thank you for understanding. And I think you are spot on that it’s A LOT harder to get buy in when you come with a solution. I don’t even want to have the solution to be honest. I should go to him with the problem. Part of me also wonders if I should just stop working so hard and just see what happens. If I lose my job (worst case) that would…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:46 PM
2

I disagree it is bad form; in my experience being married 8 years, there is constant renegotiation in marriage. When we first got married, neither of us had any idea I would have a high income; I freelanced making pennies for several years while moving annually for his pre tenure track jobs. There was a lot of negotiation when I started working more hours and suddenly couldn’t make his doctors appointments anymore or fold his underwear. That said, I agree with most of the rest of your comment, a…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:39 PM
2

Jumping in to say I am incredibly lucky in that a lot of my earnings are commission. I could work a bit less and earn a bit less and still be considered valuable enough by my employer to keep my job. I couldn’t guarantee keeping my job, which is why I do more a lot more than the minimum; because I’m scared.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:27 PM
3

Thank you for your understanding, especially the part about 2 masters - I really struggle feeling split between those. I completely agree that cutting back needs to come from me. But at the same time, I feel that perhaps my higher earnings gave him the luxury of not thinking about optimizing his income a bit more. And i am not sure I like how that feels when it means I feel stressed a lot of the time. I am all for cutting spending, but we both do want and enjoy a certain baseline lifestyle and w…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:23 PM
3

Yes, I think those things will help a lot. We just moved to a new house in July (without selling our old house) so we had to splash out a whole new down payment and then did some minor renovations and had other moving related expenses, so I am definitely feeling less financially secure at the moment. I do think as we rebuild savings I will feel steadily more secure. I just wish I had a little more help in that department, fair or unfair.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:15 PM
1

I would never want him to leave the job he loves. But he is off during the summer and could leverage his academic skills through some consulting or something similar to make a a bit more. And I want to not to have to care if my income falls some because I am doing some more domestic tasks. I don’t want to work non stop and not be present at home.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:56 PM
2

I don’t want to stop working suddenly, but I want him to try to earn a little more because he could conceivably and that would take some pressure off of me psychologically. He is open to it, but he has mixed feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:53 PM
3

A side gig could be cool and yes we can bring spending down with some discipline (mine mostly)
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:51 PM
5

I guess I didn’t expand on it enough, but I feel stressed and like I need to be worrying constantly keeping my employer happy because if anything were to happen to my job, I’d be in trouble. I feel like if we could live on his income, I could worry less and do an adequate job at work and not try to “push it”
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:50 PM
2

It is conceivable that we could live on his existing income without my working, but I’ll be honest I wouldn’t like it and would be concerned about adequate retirement savings and our desire to afford more children and support them how we’d like to.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:48 PM
-1

I want to live on less and for him to earn a little more so that I don’t have anxiety about losing my job and us being up sh*t’s creek financially. I would keep my job but probably not work as hard. For clarity, I work in tech sales. I could keep my job and work a little less and earn a little less since a lot of my income is commission. Also, if we lived on less and he earned a little more, we could save at a faster pace and I could retire early. May husband actually never wants to retire until…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:44 PM
1

Lol he used to be years ago. After 8 years of marriage the sex is boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 10:38 AM
4

I don’t know you - maybe you are. No one said older women don’t have sex drives or romantic drives. Just that they don’t want to settle and don’t mind being single if it means not settling.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 04:23 PM
3

That’s interesting- I sincerely hear a lot of older single women preferring to be single than being with someone they don’t really want to be with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:54 PM
7

How do you know they don’t prefer to be single than with a man they don’t really want?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:02 PM
5

Great response
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 12:22 AM
14

I’m not sure I agree there is anything red pill about cheating? You DO NOT need to accept cheating in order to have a high quality partner. There really are men with character well-worth being married to who will not cheat. If that is your preference, you should own that and act accordingly.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 11:49 AM
3

You must plan life and proceed as if you don’t find someone who can carry a SAHM, all while looking for someone who can. Bottom line: SAHMs are luxuries and you have no idea if you’ll get there or when it will be possible.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/22 04:08 PM
3

Just adding one side comment to the good discussion: Using a high pitch voice and being “child like” is a lot like PDA. People don’t really want to see it. Keep it in private.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/22 10:24 PM
3

I think you should pursue a career field that you could live with doing for the rest of your life. Everyone should do that when they are your age because you can't guarantee you'll find the right man to marry and you need a plan B. Also, if you start working after college in a reasonable career, you can start saving money that can be useful for when you eventually do have children and stop working. And then, yes, focus on men who will be high earning, and be upfront about your desires with them,…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 11:41 AM
2

Men care about social status a lot in their partner. Always have and always will; that is a completely separate concept to caring about their career. It’s just in recent years it’s started to overlap because in some (many) social circles it is considered high status for a woman to have a career (at least pre kids).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 11:33 AM
28

Being a SAHM is damn hard work. Not much time for leisurely writing. The truth is that for most people there is no such thing as a free lunch. You have to pick your poison with clear eyes, and don’t worry about what other people have to say on the matter.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 01:55 AM
6

The only argument to work (and it's a good one for a lot of people) is money. If money is no object, then lean into your life doing what you love. One piece of advice - you don't need to frame this or any life decision (other than getting married and having kids) as a permanent decision. That might help take the pressure off.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 07:25 PM
7

I'm sorry I can't take anything you write seriously when you are comparing day care to severely neglected Romanian orphans.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 03:29 PM
1

Yes, not arrogant or in your face, but a solid sense of self and not a doormat.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 12:10 PM
9

They don't care what she does for work but they care about her social status because they care about their own social status, and being married to someone who can't navigate your social world is a ding. The Matt Damon example is very uncommon.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 04:19 PM
11

What is your social background, is it comparable? Something that isn't talked about enough here is that high-status men almost always choose women from their class background or the class they've ascended to. Often the women are plain, but they went to the right schools, have well-to-do parents, and are part of the "right" crowd. If you are disconnected from the social worlds of these men and you are not a 9 or 10, it's going to be very tough to hold onto one.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 03:00 PM
1

I appreciate your very detailed reply; it was generous of you to take the time to write that. Fortunately, we do have a lot of of shared similarities/values/ etc. I think that is what has kept us going 8 years married so far despite an above average amount of life difficulties during that time (his job instability for the first 5 years of marriage, the suicide of my brother, moving 6 times in 5 years for his jobs). I relate to your post about threat regulation; I am also in a high-pressure work …
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 10:58 AM
4

Also, take into account that his sex drive will start to diminish in the coming years.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 12:52 PM
0

From my observation this is out an outdated idea. Alimony is very rarely awarded now, and if it is, it is temporary. Splitting assets acquired during the marriage, sure, but that is simply fair and reasonable.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 12:50 PM
-3

Yes and he doesn’t beat me. I should kiss his shoes. Leaders don’t wait for other people to let them lead before they lead. I know I need to do less but this isn’t all on me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 12:53 AM
2

If god forbid anything ever happened to your husband and you had to figure it out you would be able to do it. It’s not rocket science, it’s just tiring to do on top of a job and everything else. I even think it is fun, which is why I get myself in trouble by just going for getting all these things done until I run out of energy and then get pissed he didn’t help with any of it. I am not sure an ultimatum would work with him. I would like to avoid divorce because my daughter would be devastated. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 12:14 AM
3

I think I naturally get to things faster and so “trained” him just to let me handle things. I need to slow down and stop “over functioning” Great job on the laundry thing. I think that is exactly the kind of strategy I need to employ.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 12:09 AM
1

Lol that sounds great but expensive
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:53 PM
2

We don’t struggle with routine tasks. We struggle with more incidental things that are not inside of the regular routine.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:52 PM
3

He thinks he does a lot. And he does actually do a lot. He cleans dishes nightly, folds laundry, takes out the garbage. He is good with routine things. Where I feel alone is with bigger things that are more strategy , planning and decision related. I tend to jump at those things and I need to stop and leave space for him to do those things.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:49 PM
6

Our sex life is not great lately. It was very good originally. We need to make more time for it. I definitely think hormones play a role in my feelings, 100%.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:48 PM
3

Yes we have spoken many times, but I definitely need to communicate better before I am at the breaking point. When I am feeling good and energetic I just take it on without even telling him because it is easier. Then when it’s too much i fall apart. I need to stop that.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:45 PM
6

That is smart… to identify the signs… it comes n embarrassingly fast… for weeks I can handle it all and then I’ll hit a snag and get overwhelmed. I’ll have to start taking notes and looking for patterns
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:42 PM
6

Yes I love that book, I should reread it. I know I need to stop working so hard and he will fill in the gaps. It’s a challenge for me.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:40 PM
8

Your comment made smile because he actually clips our daughters nails without being reminded. I The kinds of things I wish he participated in more are the “thinking” things and the things that require decisions and planning. So it’s hard to remind someone about those things.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:40 PM
5

I wanted to complain, I had a terrible day, and I needed some support. I worked all day so I.l could on write a few short replies. Now that kids are in bed I could reply more.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 11:32 PM
5

He is a tenured professor at a top US university. So it is hard for me to accept him not “pushing” through learning how to follow some instructions online. He learns for a living and navigates a complex administrative system (applying for grants and so on). I believe he thinks these kind of tasks are annoying and take him away from things he’d rather focus on, so he tries to push them all on me. I do not believe it is low confidence in this case.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 09:30 PM
8

Well, I asked him to help by getting our daughter’s passport and he initially agreed but then when it came down to the wire he said he doesn’t know how to do it and since I have done it before can I please do it again. He even “joked” that since he is from another country that he could only get her one from his country. I had to insist he do it, which resulted in lot of complaining and coming back to me with blow by blows of the process instead of just taking it off my plate.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 08:51 PM
4

He doesn't want to. He likes to pretend he doesn't know how so i do it. I added more details in the orignial post.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 07:06 PM
1

I listed some things in the original post.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 07:06 PM
1

I listed some things in the original post.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 07:05 PM
-2

Yep. Huge mistake.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 06:16 PM
4

I work more hours at a more demanding job. It’s not right for me to be the only adult at home.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 06:06 PM
2

I’m so tired of being the leader of everything. So tired. I don’t want to give specific jobs.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 05:21 PM
2

Almost every life responsibility. The standard list that goes with being a parent and an adult.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 02:58 PM
5

Rimowa luggage is thousands of dollars per piece lol! I bet this irritated him / gave him anxiety. It’s not a normal conversation unless you are truly upper class.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 05:59 PM
5

First, wow, 8 pregnancies. Amazing. Second, it sounds like you almost don’t want to lose weight because of resentment that he isn’t attracted to you after having his 8 babies. So play some mental tricks on yourself. You have 8 kids to stay healthy for. Do you want to be an active grandma? There are MANY reasons to take care of your health and lose weight. Get started and then start to work on the resentment separately. It’s not your fault and it’s not his fault. You’ll have to work through that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/22 11:46 PM
13

Smart men DO a do that, but the person who made their life easier isn’t always the person they love. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. So this can be thought of as marrying for convenience.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/22 10:28 AM
7

When I was 20 years old I felt similar because the kinds of jobs you get at 20 are entry-level, low-paying, and not strategic or interesting (usually). Now at 37 I love my job because it is higher level, high paying, and strategic (and fully remote). Please keep this in mind: How you feel right now won't be how you feel later. About this or many other things. Your circumstances right now won't be what they are later (about this or many other things). Your best and only option right now is to kee…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 04:25 PM
13

Please remember that the world has always been and always will be chaotic. History is nothing if not filled with war, natural disaster, famine, disease, etc. The beauty of life is that it keeps fighting, keeps renewing, just like your new baby. Congratulations.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/22 04:03 PM
-1

Males having a lot of sex partners? He’s a boss. Women having a lot of sex partners? Sluuuuut. If that’s never going to change then this is never going to change either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 12:14 AM
6

If I had kids early I would have considered taking some time off, but I had my first at 36 so i didn’t feel it was an option - i didn’t want to give up peak earning years and lose career progression that late in the game. For me personally now that I actually have kids, I love having a nanny and working from home way more than I would enjoy doing everything alone for kids. I’ve said it before - the only way I could ever be a SAHM is if I was a super rich one and could afford full-time help; that…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 11:38 PM
9

I earn more than my husband but his job is more “prestigious” than mine so he is 100% not threatened by my income, and I don’t mind earning more as long as he is an asset to our family overall, which he definitely is. Just an anecdote of course.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 11:32 PM
2

It’s fine to want this but it’s a luxury. A lot of things all have to go right for this life to pan out. It’s really hard for most men to know prior to marriage if they will be able to afford this, unless there is a large age gap. It’s probably wisest to look for men who have potential to be high earners (without compromising character and compatibility) and also get yourself going in a reasonable career you can live with, and then hope for the best.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 02:05 PM
6

Typing from my phone so I’ll be on the brief side: A) I concur you need to get out of your mom’s house. B) I relate to needing to sort through emotional abuse. For me this started with learning from scratch how to make friends in my 20’s. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable giving and receiving positive support and friendship to other people because I had never received it at home. It was excruciatingly awkward for me at first and for a long time, but I just kept putting one foot in f…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 12:37 AM
-3

Steamrolling is a short hand expression for forcibly trying to impose your desires over someone else. I asked you if you’ve ever had a woman steamroll over your preferences about which washing machine to buy. Or which nightstand. Or crib. Or patio furniture. Or summer camp for the kids. Or which present to buy your mom for Christmas. Most women would LOVE it if their husband did research on and expressed an opinion about and handled the purchasing of any of those things, because it is a lot of w…
/r/AntiFeminists28/01/22 11:15 AM
-8

Why is it ok for you to generalize about “feminists” but not ok for me to generalize about the typical married man? You have data here proving that women make most household purchases. Do you really believe the more likely underlying reason is that women are forcibly taking this job away from men and not that men are acquiescing to it because it’s a lot easier to let someone else pick out your bed sheets and your toothpaste? Have you personally tried to weigh in on your preferred washing machine…
/r/AntiFeminists28/01/22 10:50 AM
-7

Most women would love men to change and to suddenly get into planning vacations, buying baby clothes, furniture, home supplies, and literally everything else the family needs. Because it is exhausting to have to do it all.
/r/AntiFeminists28/01/22 09:28 AM
-19

Men don’t WANT to make home furnishing or vacation decisions, what a joke. You are reframing a burden on women as power. Utterly ridiculous.
/r/AntiFeminists28/01/22 01:29 AM
47

I think many traditional men would object to this prior to marriage. It's frankly unreasonable. A traditional man is prepared to provide for a family, not childless girlfriends with jobs.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 02:22 PM
6

I think both things are important! Use feelings statements more frequently that are open and vulnerable: I feel scared..., I feel excited..., etc. etc. If my husband still tries to reason with my feelings before first empathizing (most men will always do this sometimes), I say something like "yes, you may be right but I was just telling you how I feel because I wanted some empathy or a hug etc." and this seems to help. Tone is important here. Vulnerable, sweet tone, not accusatory or aggressive …
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 03:49 PM
15

It is possible that your conversations will go differently if you start using more feeling words. Going off of your example about having a baby, you stated that you think you life will be majorly impacted. But what if you said said "I feel a little worried that I won't be able to do as many things once a baby comes" ? He would probably still try to question your underlying assumptions leading to the feeling, but it might come out more as comfort, plus, a feeling is by definition changeable, so m…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 11:54 AM
-2

I am a male sympathizer on this sub, but I am sorry, I have to inject some intellectual integrity into this thread: Do men kill men or do women kill men? I think we can all agree that it is primarily MEN who kill men and also MEN who kill women. So when people talk about ending violence against women, is it really fair to call that unfair towards men? Women are a lot of things, but they are SIGNIFICANTLY less frequently violent criminals when compared to men yet are frequently still the target o…
/r/AntiFeminists23/01/22 11:19 AM
4

Yes, i agree this can become pathological. But I thought you posted to have a discussion? I was adding a nuanced perspective, which is that to some degree this is acceptable even desirable if certain conditions are met (in my opinion).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:22 PM
3

There is a difference between feeling like your husband is dad-like towards you sometimes and liking it or feeling like your wife is mom-like towards you sometimes and liking it and equating them with YOUR mom or dad, which I feel like is sort of more how you are imagining this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:12 PM
2

Yes I think it is somewhat, and to me it is fine as long as it is a) a light tone in the relationship that isn’t a requirement and b) it does both ways. In other words, who doesn’t want to be coddled by and to coddle their spouse a little bit from time to time? As long as it is consensual and both people are fully capable and functioning adults, it’s one of the perks of marriage IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:56 PM
6

Exactly, they are embarking on a marriage strike because of a move to criminalize marital rape.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/22 05:40 PM
30

You have a right to feel however you feel about this. If this is a deal breaker for you, that is 100% OK. It would be a deal breaker for me, personally. His relationship with god has nothing to do with his sexuality, so please don't start believing that he can change his sexuality through that avenue. It is what it is. This isn't really a red pill question, not saying you can't post here with it, just that as far as I know there isn't a "red pill" way to handle this out of the box.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/22 02:58 PM
7

You stated you don't even care if your relationship with this man falls apart as long as you can hook him for child support, which you clearly stated supports you indirectly. In one of your followup posts you said you "still" have your 60k (entry-level) job, implying that you want to quit once you get those claws in. How is that not "meal ticket" territory?
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/22 01:16 PM
9

Yes, very sad, she apparently thinks child support from a rich man is the brass ring, I really don’t get it. Apparently the rappers are right, some women really do consciously think like this.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/22 03:52 PM
12

It sounds like you aren’t looking for a relationship but simply a meal ticket and a luxury lifestyle. All I can say is that I have seen your desired story play out a few times, and it doesn’t end well for the woman. Men like that will make your life hell if they owe you a child support check and aren’t happy about it. You are looking for a short cut to the good life, but girl there are no shortcuts in life.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/22 03:49 PM
1

The part I am responding to is the part where you said you can only focus on 2 maaaybe 3 things at a time and need her to handle the rest. I am guessing you don’t realize this but you are describing many a deeply unhappy marriage. This transcends masculinity vs femininity - modern life has a lot of moving parts, and men can no longer be a paycheck and come home to a clean, organized life with well behaved kids without an incredibly overworked and eventually hateful wife who typically works a ful…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:35 PM
3

So you want her to handle all aspects of life so you can work and go to the gym lol? Yeaaaah good luck with that!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:53 AM
5

OP I commend your vulnerability in being honest with yourself about this and sharing it here. My husband is a math professor, and many people in our circle have Asperger’s. It makes me curious to ask you… how do your interactions go with your male classmates? Are you in a STEM field? I wonder if you might actually find that a lot of other STEM men actually appreciate this about you?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 09:07 PM
54

You have been dating this person for 10 months and you haven't met his friends? That is the biggest red flag of all here to me. However, I think you are wise to listen to your spidey sense about his asking you to essentially compensate him for helping you in a way that costs him nothing. You are correct that there is something truly wrong and uncaring about that, and indicative in my opinion of his probably having psychological problems. These things combined with his baggage about his father ha…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 10:31 AM
2

I really appreciate all of your points, and you yes I think you nailed what I was trying to say. Thank you for helping to clarify what I couldn’t communicate clearly. I also had similar experiences to you at earlier points in my life trying to do things I imagined had value but were actually irritating to men I dated, and I had the EXACT cooking issue with my husband - I wanted to show my care through cooking nice meals, and he just wanted to relax together. I completely agree that finding out w…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 11:56 AM
2

I think my point is that when you get in touch with your own brand of femininity you DO begin to interact without acting. And this doesn’t apply just to men, because to your point, quality relationships of all kinds involve mutual care and support. My main point to OP is just this: Don’t “act” in a way that goes against the grain of who you are just to snag a man because you’ll have to keep that up for the rest of your life, and if doesn’t feel right to you, you’ll resent it. If she likes her ma…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 11:40 AM
2

Do you think “actively working” sustains a relationship long term? Because I don’t. I sincerely don’t see “over functioning” in the relationship or “actively working” a man as a viable path to a long term rewarding relationship. As a woman, what we can do is be the best version of ourselves to attract the most desirable man we can, and then keep him interested by making him feel affirmed in his efforts and behaviors. That’s what men want from women; support and receptive validation, not to be ca…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 12:41 AM
2

I only browse in this sub periodically, but I have spent years browsing all kinds of red pill blogs and forums. I have done considerable reading on various red pill topics. Perhaps RPW has its own brand of red pill? From my experience, which you are free to discard, men are quite simple. High value men want beauty (does not have to be a 10, just healthy, fit, and makes an effort), cooperativeness, someone from their socioeconomic background (most typically) and probably most of all low drama. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 07:13 PM
3

Thank you for your reply. I think this is an important topic. I seem to have made you feel attacked, and I can see why, and I apologize for my harshness and honing in on the word dazzle. My anti-strategy stance isn't about general self-improvement or complete passivity. It is about not trying to "over give" and contort yourself into what you think any high value man who happens to come into your life wants for 2 reasons. 1) When women focuses on impressing a man instead of being receptive early …
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 03:59 PM
16

I mentioned this separately in my own comment, but I want to reply here as well because I think it is VERY important for women to internalize: The way you "dazzle" a man is not by strategizing or trying to impress him, even with feminine qualities. The very act of trying that hard is MASCULINE. The way you "dazzle" a man is by naturally liking the way he shows up and being softly confident enough to show your pleasure without self consciousness, as well as to drop a suspicious, defensive stance.…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 11:39 AM
12

You're asking the wrong questions (i.e. does he only want sex?) Here is the only thing you need to ask yourself: "Would I be happy with this behavior if I married this guy?" Because this is what you would get (at BEST). Different men "show up" in different ways. The way you "dazzle" a man (as another commenter mentioned) is not by strategizing or trying to impress him. That is MASCULINE. The way you "dazzle" a man is by naturally liking the way he shows up and being softly confident enough to sh…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 11:37 AM
58

You keep mentioning that you don’t want to leave your husband, but it sounds like he wants to leave you! He told you he wants an open marriage! If I were you I would get a job ASAP for your material safety.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 01:42 AM
2

My husband always asks me to touch the back of his neck while he is driving in a cute voice. He seems to really like it, and I am happy he feels comfortable asking because otherwise I might forget or do it very infrequently.
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 01:52 AM
4

My key self-improvement goals relevant to our sub here for 2022 are: 1) Work on my anger issues. I bought a DBT anger workbook, and I plan to really key into my triggers (feeling unheard or invalidated by someone close to me - I.e. mother or husband) and learning how not to get to the point of intense anger. I will work through this workbook. 2) Let my husband lead in the day to day of our lives - I work a demanding job, and I simply cannot also do all of the household planning and logistics on …
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 12:50 AM
25

You’re looking at this incorrectly because you are only considering half of the equation - what HVM want - and not what you want to do and who you want to be. I can list off what HVM want - they want cooperation, positivity, gentle self-assurance, and a helpmate (in addition to, yes, physical attractiveness) - but you will never be able to sustain these things if you don’t get in touch with your authentic, personal version of the above, and you will come off as trying too hard and fake, which wi…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/21 03:18 PM
5

I work from home, and my husband is an amazing hands on dad. I think I look good, I feel good most of the time, and am very happy most days. One strategy I employ is that I don’t do more than I need to. For example, we are on vacation right now for Christmas rejuvenating instead of at home where I would have been cooking and cleaning. I didn’t buy my daughter tons of gifts and do tons of wrapping and holiday running around. To me those things are not nice but not necessary (unlike quality family…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/21 01:25 AM
11

It sounds like you are both very happy. He is going to age before you do, and you’ll be there caring for him. If might help to remember that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/21 01:52 AM
4

Grateful that I am cozy in my bed on this Saturday with my husband while our daughter naps. This is my favorite time of the whole week!!!
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/21 02:35 PM
1

In one individual man I agree with you. But trends across generations vary, probably influenced by media as any given generation is growing up. Whatever is high status and featured in media when men are growing up is shown to influence their preferences. Of course different groups see/value different media and popular culture trends, so it is not uniform.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/21 11:23 AM
2

Yes. And this is why in 2021, men DO care about a woman's career. Men gain clout from having a good-looking, feminine, and yes professionally successful (but not too successful) wife. It's not for the resource provisioning, it's for the status. Similarly, the body size preferred by men is ALSO variable and based on what is currently considered high status. Humans are pretty interesting.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/21 12:09 PM
5

You know what red pill taught me? It is women who are the picky ones, not men so much. I think men try to take some power back by pretending to be picky in posts like yours, but in my experience that just does not reflect reality. OP will be just fine, more than fine, as long as she takes reasonably good care of herself and can offer feminine qualities to the relationship (yes, even if she is past her physical prime).
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/21 09:01 PM
7

You both work long hours all week. He can’t take a regular weekend while you continue to work long hours. You NEED a break, too, as you are a human just like him. I would ask him why it is fair for him to relax while you work around the clock with no break?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/21 06:39 PM
1

Yes. I softened it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/21 08:02 PM
8

That's not what your post said though. Your post was about how working mom's are secretly jealous of SAHMs. The truth is that working moms are jealous of certain ASPECTS of being a SAHM, and SAHMs are jealous of certain ASPECTS of being a working mom. Almost no one gets the best of both of those worlds. I don't think it's healthy to try to validate your choice by convincing yourself that others not making your choice secretly wish they were and just can't. I don't think that reflects reality and…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/21 08:00 PM
9

Your post is really off putting. It sounds like you are hurt by the way these women treated you (understandable) and are lashing out at them in a similar manner as a result by claiming they are secretly jealous (not the highest-minded response). Also, they may view themselves as more responsible than you. Many people can make SAH workable NOW but the opportunity cost is huge and considered by many to be irresponsible financially. You'll never get acceptance from everyone. I hope you can learn to…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/21 05:47 PM
2

You know, you don’t have to choose between a husband and a career…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:00 PM
1

For the vast, vast, vast majority of human history life has been extremely hard, uncertain, and punishing, yet we have cultures from all over the world that created civilizations of order and conformity amidst these challenging conditions. I do not believe that LACK of comforts has lead to where we are now but an ABUNDANCE of them. People CAN have fun cheap meals with friends, travel, play video games, etc instead of sacrificing now for a future so they do! I don’t blame them, just pointing out …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 11:04 PM
1

This is sadly somewhat true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 10:59 PM
1

Yes I agree. This is the best way to live. Very few people seem to figure that out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 10:46 PM
3

I completely agree but have observed this is just now what motivates most people sadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 10:44 PM
2

That’s so interesting. I neglected flossing and then I had to get super deep cleanings that were expensive and painful, and I have a little bit of irreversible gum loss. I also read that dum disease is linked to DEMENTIA. So I bought a water pik and toothbrush and use them all everyday!! I don’t want my teeth to fall out or to have dementia even though those are far away!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 10:43 PM
2

I personally cannot do the things I love unless I make pretty good money. Which is fine because I do (although it is stressful at times). I’ve been broke, and I don’t experience it as pleasurable AT ALL.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 10:41 PM
2

Do you think wealth has something to do with it? If you can afford to party without compromising retirement, college savings, and so on then you are perfectly “grown up.” And please don’t respond with a political comment. The point is simply that if (in whatever political system or class you exist within) you can’t indulge without seriously compromising the long term well being of yourself or your family then it irresponsible to do so, even if it is unfair. “Grownups” put needs before wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 10:38 PM
2

I’m not really proposing anything, I’m just observing human nature. Not all problems are solvable, and any “solution” will come with drawbacks. I was just inspired to post because i don’t think all problems come down to blaming the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 01:40 PM
4

I never said I think they should be government institutions. They can easily be social or cultural institutions. I am actually a libertarian btw, not progressive. I am just observing human nature. I don’t think the vast majority of people will do hard things unless they have no choice. Not being protected from bad choices by government is one mechanism I personally support, as an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 12:33 PM
4

Being feminine is about having an open, receptive attitude. It isn't about cleaning. In my opinion this sub overestimates how much a man will value you based on cleaning. They really don't care. But remember. They really don't care. That's the problem, really. It's hard to be feminine and just accept the messes men leave around the house. So if this is how you feel you'll have to vet very carefully for a man who cleans up after himself so you don't have to nag him and try to take the reins.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 12:52 PM
1

A lot of us can relate. It’s ok to mourn the guidance you did not receive (use it as motivation to be a good mother when the time comes), but at some point (soon) you have to look forward. Imagine turning a large heavy ship in the ocean. This is what you might feel like regarding fixing your reputation and your path. It might feel overwhelming and impossible but if you make steady steps everyday it can be done. Regarding your reputation, if it is that bad then moving can be an option but you obv…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/21 11:34 AM
1

I don’t see anything wrong with the “mothering” qualities you listed. If you want those things you are entitled to seek them out. Plenty of women have theses qualities. Yes, still.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:47 PM
13

Being in college is not a deal breaker. Being skinny is not a deal breaker. Having no ambition could be a deal breaker. Is he responsible and on track to acceptable employment when he graduates? Does he have a plan for his future?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/21 05:49 PM
7

One word. Humility. What makes you so great? Probably not much. You are most likely not anyone’s ideal woman. You most likely have countless flaws and baggage. Be honest with yourself about the things about you that any man would have to “compromise” on. This will cultivate gratitude and humility and can make you appreciate and truly love a good man who maybe isn’t everything you ever dreamed of. HOWEVER, you still need to feel true baseline attraction to anyone you settle down with. If you stru…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/21 05:46 PM
4

No it doesn’t show I have intense hatred of men. But it does show that I don’t support “positive” rights as valid . Look it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 09:46 PM
3

lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 09:26 PM
2

What is "normal"? Please, I would love to see you define it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 09:25 PM
1

I have been familiar with the red pill for many years, just so you are aware. I am a sympathizer, generally. It’s just that I found your absolute statements extreme, as already discussed. Regarding my marriage of course my daughter is my husband’s and no he did not finish last, he was my dream man. Once we met we fell in love and were a couple from then onwards. He had all of the qualities I admired. He is very devoted to his discipline, and he is very serious and committed to anything he embark…
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre16/07/21 12:50 AM
0

You are completely free not to marry. Why do you want to prevent other people from getting married? That seems odd. I have a good marriage, and my husband agrees. We adore raising our daughter together and supporting each other. We get into disagreements sometimes but we both feel better off with the other. For practical and emotional reasons. I actually make slightly more money than my husband, and we both feel what the other brings to the table is very valuable. We have long term family and fi…
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre15/07/21 04:12 PM
0

Thank you for your reply. I do not think domestic labor and child care are hard, but I do think they are time consuming. Especially if you are not a minimalist. One major issue I observe between men and women is that men often want to live much more simply than women... but at the same time men rely on women to maintain social relationships, and social dynamics require being able to entertain family in a home and prepare nice meals for them, etc. Men will claim they can go without this hoopla, b…
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre14/07/21 06:26 PM
–

Once things collapse and we relearn lessons from the past we’ll make new ones
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 03:41 PM
–

It doesn’t really matter if the roles are specialized or not. If you work from 7 am to 7pm in some combination of domestic and commercial work without complaining then you are adulting just fine. But too many people underestimate what others are doing and overestimating what they are doing, and they use modern gender dynamics as a smoke screen to excuse their childish behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 03:40 PM
–

Do you believe that the men born after 1980 would just morph back into the men of 1920 if women changed their behavior? Because I don’t. The men of today fully buy into the modern thinking I describe. The institutions that molded the men of the past are gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 03:18 PM
–

I agree that feminism was a catalyst, but here we are, everybody jumped on the bandwagon of doing what feels good
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 02:59 PM
–

I have no idea. My husband is a math professor so I’m with you there. :) But seriously, I think it is just short term thinking. Women like whoever seems to be socially dominant right now, today, in their immediate social environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 02:31 PM
17

I am a fellow low agreeable woman. The way I personally approach this is that I know I can force myself to be more agreeable to a point in certain situations (social situations with family and friends) but have to be realistic about who I am and the UPSIDE of it as well. Relatively low agreeable people make the most money and are taken advantage of the least (providing they are also conscientious as well). At work I don’t care who likes me and that makes me very effective at my job in software s…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/21 01:38 PM
1

I am sorry that happened to you. It’s sad to read because I am willing to bet that if your wife spent just 30 minutes per day catering to your needs that you would have felt completely differently about the marriage.
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre13/07/21 06:36 PM
0

Women do the majority of domestic labor and childcare, even when they work. Married men typically enjoy not having to think much about where their food comes from, their laundry or dry leaning, their clean sheets, where their razors and tooth paste comes from, etc. Children raised in married homes also fare much better, so any man who cares about how his children do in life will want to be married. Also, if he is married, he will do less work raising these children who will turn out better, assu…
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre13/07/21 06:20 PM
3

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife...
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre09/07/21 02:33 PM
16

Get another job and learn how to cook in your free time. You are not married yet so don’t act like you are. Finally, being a nanny and working for a preschool are very valuable skills for when you become a mom, so don’t sell yourself short.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/21 12:11 AM
3

Whoa!! This kind of thing gives the red pill woman a bad name. Letting your husband handle the finances does not mean literally giving financial control over to him so that you are restricted like a child. Rather, it means WILLINGLY giving him the job of handling the finances (you may, for example, have the job of handling choosing children's clothing and toys, as a contrast). You are not being unreasonable. He does not get to control if you have a credit card or if you buy things online (unless…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/21 08:49 PM
1

Yes alumni events. That network is your best shot.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/21 03:20 PM
1

Winner winner chicken dinner
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 08:29 PM
15

I lived in Bonn, Germany for 1 year. I met many pretentious Germans. When I spent the next year in Italy I experienced more inclusivity by far. Bonn was quite Catholic though, and I wonder if active religiosity helps keep the natural human tendency towards selfishness and status jockeying down a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 02:43 PM
6

I think this is the best reply. Beyond the obvious stuff about this past being a dealbreaker for most men, the root issue now is the selfish mindset. Now, it actually think men like some selfishness and that a woman needs to exhibit some selfishness to avoid being treated like a doormat, but just a touch.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/21 11:38 AM
2

Sure, I am actually not pitting men against women here with my comment. I am just replying to the OP’s topic, which was about men’s behavior on OLD
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 04:08 AM
10

It’s not typical in normal dating for a man to pay for a woman’s cab to and from a date nor is it typical to receive flowers on a simple date (as opposed to a special occasion when you are in a relationship). It’s clear that you’re really out of touch with mainstream society. You need to start there. Do you have a normal job now? Do you have normal female friends? You need to reintegrate yourself into society to even be able to relate to normal people at all, let alone date them. This will take …
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/21 03:47 AM
11

What I discovered is that men dehumanize women automatically in OLD scenarios. Men who personally know people you also know will treat you very differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 01:07 AM
10

This is 100% true. I’ve observed this among finance bros too, and they are socially competent and physically attractive men on top of being high earners. Women who desire HVM need to care about their education and career yet differentiate themselves with feminine manner and behave supportively and not contentiously with potential dates if they want to marry one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 07:08 PM
9

You don’t need to wear dresses or girly clothes to be feminine. Rock your own style. Being feminine is more about your manner, the way you walk and talk, and also nice grooming. Shiny hair, nice nails (can be simple, don’t even need polish if you don’t want it). Trying to force yourself to be something you are uncomfortable with never works.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 07:59 PM
3

Wow! First of all I am sorry your marriage is in turbulent times and may crumble. It sounds like you have some healing in front of you and some growth to come from that. Start there. LOT’S of people get into relationships past 30. Don’t worry about that right now though. You can only be where you are, step 1 is learning to accept exactly where you are. Next make the hard choices and do the hard things to get on a better path. After that you can think about relationship next steps. Hugs OP.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 07:51 PM
9

Hugs OP. I am really sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you’ve learned some hard lessons about vetting, but the good news is that you are young and wise now. Many hugs.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 01:40 PM
55

The hardest thing about this OP is that you're going have a hard time opening up in the future and you won't trust yourself because you'll be second guessing what is real and what isn't real. Here's the thing I think you need to keep him mind. This guy is LYING about not having feelings for you, at least in the past. He is 1000000% LYING. He absolutely had feelings for you at most point, probably for most of your 3 year relationship. Something must have changed, and it is most likely not your fa…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 09:57 AM
15

Upper middle class men DO CARE ABOUT YOUR DEGREE AND YOUR JOB. It's about status to them. They don't want to marry someone who will lower their status, and like it or not, in our modern world, a woman's education and career contributes to her status. Sure, IF they feel solid enough about their career by the time you have kids they won't mind if you stop working. But upper middle class men WILL NOT DATE a woman without a degree and passable career. PLUS 80%+ of HVM meet their wives in college or …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 09:32 AM
1

Haha, you know, you are totally right. I DID get what I wanted... I was in fact very much attracted to his focus and sense of mission when we met. Before we started dating I remember going on one date with a guy who had freshly graduated with an ivy league MBA and was talking to me about a business he was starting to create content for ipads (ipads were new at that time). He showed me one "book" about bacon. I was so uninterested in someone doing something so silly, I did not go on a second date…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/21 10:32 AM
5

We live in a broken world because too many people are worried about "social justice" - indeed compulsively looking for social "injustices" under every rock! - instead of keeping their own house in order. If everyone kept their own house in order we wouldn't live in a broken world. So definitely #2!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 10:22 AM
1

Wow, taking the job without consulting you sounds really hurtful. I am sorry. What does he say about it when you talk about it?
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/21 09:47 PM
1

Daily after lunch for 2 hours during the summer? I certainly don’t have this luxury.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 11:34 AM
2

Yes, we really do need to seek counseling. Thank you for understanding.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 11:33 AM
2

I think being a hero to a family absolutely does motivate many men. I want my husband to have his dreams, but I want to feel important too.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 11:31 AM
1

He could undertake a home improvement project. He could dedicate part of the summer (during which he does not have to teach and he currently spends taking a nap every day while I work) to a professional sector side project to earn extra income. He has options.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 09:51 AM
2

I can’t create a welcoming home when I am working 50 hours a week. And I have A LOT of resentment about being supportive of his dealing with the draining competition you are describing when he is choosing, quite selfishly in my opinion, to pursue it when he doesn’t have to.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 09:49 AM
3

You’re very casually brushing off his putting me in a very bad situation for years in order to chase a very specific dream and not being empathetic to how it was harming me. If he had expressed out loud even once “Hey, maybe this path isn’t the right thing for us. Maybe I should see what other things are available for me to do so that we can stop moving and have a family” I don’t think I’d feel the way I do right now. Even if he ultimately stayed the course, just knowing that he felt some kind o…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 09:45 AM
9

Why are you assuming I am a moron? That’s quite uncharitable of you. Each year was supposed to be the year he got a TT job. I also love him. So I was supposed to divorce him while that was playing out? I didn’t have a crystal ball. Now go away, your goal is to make me wrong and that’s not helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 12:23 AM
16

Yeah. I am also sad because I actually like the idea of sacrificing for a team goal. I used to feel like we were doing that but then watching his behavior it started to feel like I would get thrown to the wolves if necessary for him to stay on HIS course. I am realizing this is the root of my issue.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 12:04 AM
5

Thank you for your perspective. I know money isn’t everything but I do care about having it, it’s hard for me to let it go. I don’t drive an expensive car or dress in a flashy way but feel dependent on the financial security of money in my bank account. I literally sleep better with a financial cushion. I work quite hard to ensure I grow it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 12:01 AM
5

Thank you again for your detailed reply and understanding. I have a lot to think about.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:54 PM
20

I guess you don’t know a lot of academics.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:46 PM
1

For me it‘ s really just about intent. Like is he using even just a little of his time specifically for the purpose of making my life better?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:45 PM
11

Where are you getting that I agreed to wait on a baby? When we married he expected to get a tenure track job that year. Each year was more hope snd then more disappointment. I definitely did not know I was signing up for that, and he was not empathetic about my suffering while it was happening.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:42 PM
11

Yes that is accurate, thank you. I don’t feel like I am sacrificing now but I feel like I he will ask me to move again not even for a raise but simply to a department he likes better and I would have to uproot my life again and this makes me feel that I am a secondary consideration for him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:38 PM
3

I think what is hard for me is that he kept on this career path for years up past the point that it WAS starting to look like a pipe dream, al while I was greatly suffering over the instability and his refusal to start a family. If he had gotten to this point sooner and I never saw that he will put his career above me like he did, then I would probably feel differently.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:32 PM
4

I get so stressed out on a tight budget. An example - meal planning. I always try to meal plan (I am still frugal), but if one day things get crazy and I don’t have time to cook and we go out to eat, maybe now I have to throw out some food intended to cook. Now we’ve paid for 2 meals. I force myself not to get hung up on that now, but on a tighter budget this would cause me significant stress. Also my husband is very wasteful and refuses to eat leftovers.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:28 PM
7

I am sorry, money is not the problem. My point is that 120k is not enough for all of the sacrifices I have made for his career. I feel like our lives have been about his career, which I view as pure ego gratification for him. I wish he felt a drive to provide for us. This would make me feel cared for. Anyway the rest of what you wrote was valuable. Thank you. I know I have to try to reframe my thinking.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:25 PM
7

Thank you for your post. Correct, money is not our issue. I regret that the thread seems to be getting derailed by that.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:22 PM
6

Thank you for your understanding. 3 is the hardest for me. He drains himself to work on things that do not benefit us and then wants appreciation from me for it. And he is VERY dismissive and defensive. Whatever I am doing to try to be heard is NOT working. I have to find a better way.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:19 PM
7

Oh I am sorry. I think I was unclear. By OUR lives I mean my life and my daughter’s life. I would like our well being to be part of what motivates him in order for me to feel the appreciation he craves from me.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:16 PM
0

That is true. Maybe I have to work on feeling comfortable with less, but this is very hard for me. I don’t worry about money these days but when our household income was lower I constantly worried about it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:50 PM
5

What would please me would be if he was at least partially motivated to do something with the express purpose of making our lives better. I feel that we are an afterthought.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:48 PM
-7

Yes, I am making most of it. Would you like to be in that situation?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:43 PM
16

I just feel unimportant. Like providing for me snd my daughter doesn’t motivate him. I feel like only his personal dreams motivate him and this really hurts.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:33 PM
15

I used to see it that way but over time I don’t see it that way anymore. Sadly In some ways now I see it as a refusal to participate in the real world. I make significantly more money than he does. I love my job but I do it because I feel like otherwise we won’t be as comfortable as I’d like.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:22 PM
-8

He makes about 120k, and I make a double that. I like my job but I definitely feel pressure to make money because I want more children and a bigger house to put them in.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:20 PM
-5

Hey Lagrange :) He studies algebraic geometry. While cool, it sincerely has no applications. A lot of pure math has no applications. I am well aware that modern technology relies on math (I have a math undergraduate degree myself), but most pure math does not inform material advances.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:18 PM
1

That article doesn’t say what you wrote. It says that in 2018 41% of women 25-45 were unmarried. But average marriage age for women in the US is 31. So this statistic isn’t particularly meaningful since such a big chunk of that group hasn’t married YET. If you go to the actual census data you can see trends about marriage age rising as well as fewer marriages overall. But what you wrote was plain and simple made up.
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre18/06/21 05:46 PM
1

It's not a "study." It is simply data from Pew Research Center. "Pew Research Center is a nonpartisan fact tank that informs the public about the issues, attitudes and trends shaping the world. We conduct public opinion polling, demographic research, content analysis and other data-driven social science research. We do not take policy positions." Have you really not heard of Pew? They are considered an authority on demographic data. And the numbers can add up if women marry men in other age grou…
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre18/06/21 05:02 PM
1

Only 19% of women aged 30-49 are single. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre18/06/21 01:28 PM
4

I am sorry, but only 19% of women ages 30-49 are unmarried.https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/ I didn't bother to fact check the rest of your stats but 80% divorce rate among "shitty men/women" is also questionable.
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre18/06/21 12:56 PM
3

Ask her but it seems maybe she didn’t.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 11:18 AM
1

Men often feel greatly irritated in the presence of a weak and dependent woman, yes even very masculine men. It often disgusts them. These traits do not embody femininity at all! Femininity isn't about weakness or dependency. It is about openness and acceptance which leads to a willingness to cooperate and concede. Masculine men want to be supported, respected, and followed. They don't want a weak, dependent child. They value competence greatly in women, they just don't want women to try to take…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:28 AM
19

I personally not one to glamorize the past. To me at least, RedPill is just about acknowledging the primal instincts of men and women and thinking about ways to civilly accommodate these instincts instead of pretending they are not there and then having them pop out in destructive ways. I am certainly not looking to return to a time when women subjugated their own needs and desires to fit into a narrowly defined role. I also do not think RedPill is about cooking and cleaning and being the perfec…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 10:18 AM
3

I would let him set the pace. You can’t really expect a lot from him right now because of the weight of all of this, which is unfair to you honestly. But I would let him initiate contact and be responsive and supportive when he does. If you initiate contact I would keep it simple with supportive “just thinking about the two of you” type texts and “let me know if there is anything I can do” I wouldn’t volunteer to take on anything in the realm of chores of anything like that if you don’t know eac…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/21 05:46 PM
20

Wow, I remember you from your last post. I am really sorry this happened, most of all for the 8 year old boy. As previously discussed in your other thread, this is a lot for you to take on. However, assuming you are determined, your job is to simply be empathetic. I used to volunteer at a suicide prevention hotline. When someone is under distress, the best way to support them is to simply try to tap into the root cause of what they are feeling and reflect it back to them empathetically. "Ohhh, i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/21 04:31 PM
2

Exactly. You didn't talk about his personality, OP. We are guessing that he is charming, funny, confident (even if objectively he has little reason), etc. Probably lies and makes himself look better than he is with stories, i.e. legend in his own mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 09:10 AM
1

No. “Minor” is arbitrarily defined. Men are biologically wired to be interested in post pubescent women.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 05:10 PM
10

Hmm. I think most of the women here would disagree with that. I know I certainly do.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 01:02 PM
3

"Is a lot of money really more important than being around someone who is a better human being?" I have no idea what you mean by the above. Can you please clarify?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 12:56 PM
3

You keep restating that but I disagree with your reasoning, and you haven't convinced me otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 12:52 PM
1

It's not that it makes me uncomfortable. It's that I don't think it is necessarily true. I think the odds that he is a good guy are quite high. I believe you mentioned above he could be socially awkward. So what if he is? That makes him a predator? OP is socially awkward herself. Maybe they are a good pair. I don't see where you are getting that he is a "groomer." The only "evidence" you have is an age gap. For fun I like to read celebrity gossip. You may be familiar with the story in the "news"…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 12:40 PM
3

If you are so much smarter than OP, do you think it makes sense that she designs her life the same way you would design yours? Maybe for someone with her temperament and intelligence she will have a very happy life the way she is designing her life - to be a young mom with a high earning, supportive husband (how she described him). Anyway, you are a product of the indoctrination around you. You haven't learned yet how to evaluate situations individually and with a level head. You will get there.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 12:28 PM
2

Dear, your post displays that you ARE a mean person. Go back and read the things you wrote. Also, everything you just wrote is full of contradictions. Being 18 or 19 is tough. Everyone is making their best guess about how to do their life. OP is no different, and your behavior on this post is low level, showing your poor character and immaturity.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 12:11 PM
4

Dear, you are 18. Do you think you know more than OP? As for me I have seen every iteration of life setup. My daughter’s temperament and inclinations will determine her course. Does OP come off to you as a serious career woman? Her best life outcomes are very likely that she develop a life with a high earning man and be a mother and work part time. She isn’t winning a Nobel prize anytime soon. My family has a HHI and we outsource labor. Egalitarian relationships can be good but they require A LO…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 11:54 AM
1

I do want that for her. That is the dream life for a woman. I am sorry you are currently indoctrinated to believe that alternatives are superior. I currently earn double my husband and I resent the hell out of it. It is not the dream you think it is.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 11:39 AM
4

Situation dependent I think it could be ok. This man is a responsible engineer who doesn’t drink or do drugs. Ready for a family. Encourages OP to be patient with her family and keep trying. Has the self confidence to behave wisely in the face of rejection. There are FAR worse situations.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 11:37 AM
-4

I am 37 and have a daughter. I have seen a lot of things and a lot of situations, and I do hope my daughter marries fairly young. I would expect she complete here education first, though, and would be disappointed if she did not. But I would actually like her to marry earlyish to a slightly older man. What I dread is my daughter waiting until her 30's to marry, spending her 20's partying and wasting time, and then struggling to conceive in her 30's. I didn't learn anything from 24 to 37 that I n…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:31 AM
3

An incubator, really? What do think his big, bad plan is? That he raise a family with this woman? There are men who use young women for sex. But marry them and embark on creating a family?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:08 AM
-2

You have a female perspective, not a male perspective. You have a fundamental misunderstanding of what men value in women. Men value agreeableness in women. Unless the man has nefarious intentions, wanting a malleable partner is not "grooming."
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:05 AM
1

You have no evidence to support that ridiculous claim that he will dump her for another young naive girl. The much more likely scenario, if anything goes wrong in this here, is that SHE will leave him if as she gets older her perception of him changes. As far as potential financial, emotional, and physical abuse and control.... the risk factor for that would be if HE was trying to stop her from seeing her friends and family. There is no mention of that in this post. This post discusses her famil…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 09:59 AM
4

The fact that your post got a downvote shows that this sub has been overrun by young, inexperienced women influenced by woke culture. The very women who need the most guidance and not in the position to be lecturing others...
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 09:37 AM
0

Beauty, fertility, and love? The desire to raise a family together? Terrible things, right?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 09:36 AM
3

I’m really surprised and saddened by the number of people in this thread bashing a pregnant woman married to a teetotaling engineer who are excited to have a family together. If you are doing that you are taking your theoretical issue with age gaps and power dynamics out on OP. Shame on you. That age gap is no big deal. He sounds like a loving supportive husband. People can grow together. There is no reason to think that won’t happen here. I am happy for you OP. You just have to hold onto the fa…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 01:14 AM
2

We aren’t talking about my social skills as they relate to some guy who wants to sleep with me. We are talking about social skills within organizations that require cooperation and team work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 07:26 PM
6

If you want to make an extra 20k just do it via freelancing with your other 5 working hours.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/21 12:33 AM
6

Going into an office everyday costs money. Commuting. Clothes. Lunches out. Drinks after work you’d get roped into. 20k after taxes could easily get dwindled away by those things. I’d stay where you are. If you feel guilty use your extra hours to start a side hustle.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/21 12:31 AM
3

I am a woman. For years up into my mid 20’s at least I really struggled with poor social skills. I spent many years working on them, with a lot of cringe moments in there. But being at work really helped a lot. And I enjoyed seeing myself learn how to handle various situations better over time. I was very single throughout a lot of this time. I guess I just struggle to understand resigning yourself instead of slowing growing, FOR YOURSELF?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 12:26 AM
7

If this is how you feel 7 months into a relationship and you are in your early 20’s then my advice would be to leave. This is not the right man for you.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/21 12:11 AM
1

Lol exactly, came here to say this!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 10:09 AM
78

Have you tried to ask them about their jobs and daily life outside of being mothers and wives? That is a big part of their world, and if they feel like it is completely foreign to you, they may not feel connected to you. Also, if they pick up in any way that you feel sorry for them or you feel sooo grateful to be a SAHM (implying that working is a failure or an unfortunate situation), it's natural they would avoid you. I am not a SAHM but i have friends in every life situation. One good friend i…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/21 10:02 AM
1

Are you really just discovering that people are hypocrites OP? This is like your 10th post about this. Let it goooooooo.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 12:56 AM
1

You are intellectually dishonest so I am going to stop engaging with you; you talk about your 5 year age gap, but then in the hypothetical you don't say "22 and 27" because you know that sounds perfectly fine, so instead you push it out the boundary of what i suggested and say "22 and 32" If you had a sound argument you wouldn't have to resort to this. Below are the last 2 things I'll say to you: I never suggested that women get in a relationship with anyone they are not attracted to. I hypothes…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 06:15 PM
1

Neither of those say anything about supporting your claim. I suggest you take a course in the scientific method and learn a bit more. By the way, the abstract of one of the links you sent says this: "Among both women and men, small age differences were most common among the highly educated, high-income earners, and native Swedes, whereas persons with low education, low income, and non-Swedish origin more often entered marriages with large age differences, particularly men-older marriages." Which…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 10:37 AM
1

You have no idea that female agency is driving those trends!!!! No idea!!! You speak a lot about statistics but clearly know nothing about them. By the way I have a degree in statistics. I know better than to try to draw hard conclusions from weak associations as you have done several times now. Furthermore, marriage rates are declining altogether in the developed world. Do you think it is because women don’t want to get married? Don’t make me laugh. Getting into single parent discussion is a ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 02:14 AM
3

Sure, that’s also an option. However OP, you can probably find what you are looking for if you keep looking. There are women who know that a lot of men value short sexual histories in a wife. Will you find a secular VIRGIN? That is tough. But if 2-3 partners will do and you are generally appealing to women you can most likely find what you want. Stop looking for validation from these morons. Regarding not committing, that is up to you but currently there is a social cost to that. Triple that if …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 02:02 AM
7

You’re allowed to prefer a “chaste” woman even if you haven’t been so chaste. You can prefer whatever you want. Own it, and go look for it. If you can’t find it coupled with whatever else you want then you will have to adjust your expectations. This is life. I would say just be careful about optimizing over only 1 dimension. It’s easy to get tunnel vision about one thing and then end up with someone lacking in other areas that end up being very important also, leading to some regrets.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 01:51 AM
0

Preferences and feelings are valid simply because they exist. They arise from impulses beyond our control and therefore it doesn’t make sense to judge them. Now DEMANDS are a different story. A demand can be invalid if no one can or will meet it. If you think it is unreasonable but someone else will meet it voluntarily? Guess what, it’s still valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 01:41 AM
1

Commit doesn’t mean marriage. It means exclusive relationship. And I disagree the majority of young women like having sex with young men. By the time I was 22 I found 22 year old men repulsive and preferred men 28 or so. If you have different preferences do what you like, no one is stopping you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 01:03 AM
1

I said 6-10 year age gap and I never advocated getting married before 25 (before graduating college and beginning working). And I can’t make anyone do anything nor did I try to. I just think moderate age gaps have some advantages and made a post discussing them. I think you read a lot into my post that I never said. First you assumed that younger women having children would mean they would stay at home. Then you assumed I was trying to make or impose on young women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 12:00 AM
1

Women aren't having kids in their late 20's anymore... they are having them in their 30's... If you aren't getting married until 30, then your fist kid is typically 32/33... and fertility eventually becomes a problem for many of them, especially if they want more than 1 child. Treating infertility is also expensive. When you are 33 you don't have years to just keep playing the odds.. you seek fertility treatment $$$ sooner. Women who want children need to plan their lives with this in mind. It i…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 11:29 PM
1

Lot's more people have miscarriages in their 30's than in their 20's. If you don't have kids, I hope you don't take this lightly. https://advancedfertility.com/patient-education/causes-of-infertility/age-and-fertility/ You gave statistics for pregnancy rate by age not BIRTH RATE by age. Maybe you've never had a miscarriage so you don't know horrible it is. Maybe it seems like no big deal to you. But it is horrendous, your hormones are going wild for months. I hope you can develop some empathy in…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:43 PM
1

I did that and almost missed my chance to have kids... suffered several miscarriages
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 04:27 PM
0

22 year old women sleeping with everyone and then by the time they are ready to settle down men resent their sexual history and don’t marry them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 11:27 PM
0

I come from the same kind of cohort but it was the men my age I found boring. My husband is 2 years older than me and he was the only man I met in my age range who impressed me. But then we had to wait quite a while to have children and I didn’t like that very much. All is good now though and it is nice that he won’t significantly age before me barring an unexpected health issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 11:22 PM
1

You think 70% of men under 30 who are not in committed relationships are happy with their sex life?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:55 PM
2

I don’t know how other women feel. I know when I was 22 there were no good places to meet 28 or 29 year olds, and I really would have liked to have met and dated them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:52 PM
2

How old are you? If you are 50+ then of course you wouldn’t be appealing to women under 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:35 PM
0

Everything in life is tricky
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:34 PM
-1

Do you think a lot of them feel TERRIFIED to try? They would have to put up with a lot of shaming. I think a lot of men would really, really like to date a well-raised, attractive 22 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:33 PM
1

I would be curious to know if the percentages would change for new, first marriages. I suspect it was more common in the past and that is skewing things. Also 2nd marriages could also be skewing things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:30 PM
-1

I don’t think that is the main reason women aren’t getting married at 22. But I think the absence of a societal mechanism to encourage 22 year olds date and prepare to marry 28 year olds is a contributor to some of the issues we see.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:29 PM
2

Men absolutely accrue value if the work towards developing skills and competence. They are increasingly unmotivated to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:27 PM
1

That’s really interesting. I believe you but it’s just so far from my own preference as a woman it is hard to reconcile. But do you really believe society finds an equilibrium naturally? Societal structures exist to impose order in what would devolve quickly into chaos...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:23 PM
0

If you can do that and secure commitment then by all means go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:21 PM
2

Don’t you think a lot of that is attributable to our institutions? I.e. college? That’s where people meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:20 PM
2

The problem is that 35 is on the old side for a man to marry and to have gone largely sexless previously. I am sorry you were taken advantage of. In an ideal world a woman’s family would help guide her and help prevent that from happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:19 PM
1

I’d call that somewhat substantial. It would be more, I think, if there were more institutionalized, non OLD mechanisms for them to meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:17 PM
2

They are either going to settle down early if they are “Chads” or they won’t get sex until they are late 20’s and have accrued some value. Not much different than now for the latter group except they’d have access to young women who were marriage material.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:14 PM
0

You’ve listed all of the downsides but there is considerable upside. An age gap generally means a woman can have children earlier and put them in a nice house. 10 years is a happy medium where a woman gets most of the benefits without a huge downside. And btw women generally retire earlier than men, particularly if the man is a high earner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:12 PM
0

I think most women are genuinely attracted to competence and self-assurance even if the man isn’t classically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:09 PM
2

You had me until the dowries part but yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 09:07 PM
2

Omg it does for me. I love making money and I am happier with what I make than I would be with 80k, no question. I know because I’ve been m both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 01:56 AM
4

I am really pretty happy these days. I have an amazing 6 month old baby I love more than I can express with words, my career is going great, and I have a love-hate relationship with my husband, but even though we argue sometimes, he is overall a very good husband and we love each other. I like red pill stuff because it reminds me not to get into power struggles with my husband, which is difficult for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 01:54 AM
3

You are off base, sorry. Women simply like to live more elaborately than men, largely because they want to be able to entertain and show off their homes and create social fabric based around meals, and comfortable home environments, etc. So women judge men based on their own standard, as is human nature. Men don't care about entertaining and they don't compete with each other based around how good of a job they do of it. So most men are self-sufficient based on their own standard, which is typic…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 02:26 PM
-3

Agree this doesn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 02:38 PM
1

This only applies if the woman is prioritizing short term "chad" relationships. If she wants a high value man to want to marry her, being kind, humble, agreeable, and thin but simply dressed and made-up is her best bet. Most women genuinely don't understand this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 02:37 PM
3

Lol yeah that happened to me too.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/21 02:34 PM
7

It is a bit of an age gap, and there is the son and probably more importantly the drug addicted ex wife to consider. It's good that you are thinking about those things, because if you ultimately married this guy these things would have a big impact on your life for a very long time. Regarding the age gap, it would be a perfectly fine age gap for years but by the time he is 55+ and you are early 40's, you will very likely have different energy levels. He might be starting to want to gear down in …
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/21 12:55 PM
8

Your value in a relationship is not good sex for LTR!!!!!!! Sure, sexual availability and enthusiasm is an essential part of being a desirable partner. It is a necessary condition but it is faaaaaaaar from a sufficient condition. You are SO MUCH MORE than that. Your basic essence, when you tap into it, has so much value. It sounds like he actually sees that very clearly, which is wonderful. Please never forget that. A solid sense of your own value is critical both for you AND for any man in a re…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/21 12:44 PM
3

Oh yeah if you don't like it then leave, absolutely. I am not telling you not to push it because I think you don't have a right to an enjoyable sex life. I am telling you not to push it because it won't work and will most likely backfire. Unfortunately you are powerless in this situation apart from leaving.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/21 07:39 PM
11

There are a lot of reasons a man might not want sex, and many perhaps even most of them don't have anything to do with you. I personally think modern stress and lifestyle just has a lot to do with it. I know a lot of people blame porn, and that could contribute if he has a porn habit. However, I really believe working 10+ hours a day, having worries about the future, etc. can really take away a man's sex drive. My suggestion to you is to stop trying to control his sexuality. Yes, stop pushing, b…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/21 04:35 PM
2

What form is the emotional leverage?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 10:27 AM
2

Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 01:20 AM
2

No they are not being illogical. Marriage is the best way to raise children and to achieve emotional and financial stability. But in order to get the benefits you have to catch yourself when discontent or taking the other for granted creeps in.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 01:12 AM
2

Maybe he didn’t lose respect for you, and maybe his changing behavior had nothing to do with you at all. Maybe he was nicer when he himself was insecure and didn’t think he would achieve all that much. Maybe his true nature of selfishness emerged when he started to feel successful at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 01:10 AM
1

A lot of people are no longer commuting these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:53 AM
5

Well, I assume you have a lot in common with people who live in the same place and have the same profession, so it makes sense you are having a similar experience. A LOT of women work full time (30% earning more than their husbands), have kids, and also do well over half of the childcare and home maintenance. These women are just as angry as you and your colleagues and for good reason. What blows my mind is that the overachievers and underachievers keep ending up together, just like the high sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:48 AM
2

Excellent points
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 01:13 AM
-2

Lol where are you getting this information, how old are you, and have you ever been married? Allow me to enlighten you: women get divorced because they get sick of working a full time job AND another full time job at home with little help. Women also no longer receive alimony as in the past. Your hate is out of date. Get with the program.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 01:12 AM
41

A) He is not messy “at the moment” - he is just messy. FOREVER. It’s fine but go in with eyes open about that. You can never change a man. B) You are not his servant. Being feminine does not mean being a servant, and if you act like an over eager servant he could easily drag you along for a long time due to loss of attraction on his part. The solution is to be sensitive to his needs, observe him, be empathetic to him and what he likes, show your admiration and appreciation for what he does for y…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/21 12:37 AM
2

Most men can have this from a woman but if they don’t get a lucky hand with looks they have to work a lot harder to have rock solid frame and be very mentally strong plus charismatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 01:39 AM
1

That’s why I literally bring it in to businesses. A lot of it. You present like an intern at a credit union.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 11:52 PM
1

At a SaaS company in an essential role making more money than it seems you ever will based on your demonstrated intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 03:56 PM
3

How old are you and what is your job? You clearly have no real life experience. People in HR don't make very much money. Women aren't hired for diversity if they can't cut it. Companies need to compete to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 01:04 PM
4

You are giving yourself away as very young and uninformed about how an economy actually works. 30% of high earning wives are not gender studies professors. Professors don’t make very much money. I know because I am married to one (math). In order to get paid well in a capitalist economy you need to offer something that helps your employee compete in the market place. This means you need to be a great creator of innovations or you need to be really good at getting people to pay for your company’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 10:22 AM
3

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:39 AM
6

If that were true then 30% of women wouldn’t outward their husbands. Wake up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:36 AM
8

In 2021 women are simply not beneath men by any measure; their skills and abilities are worth $$$ in the modern economy. Physical ability is a fraction of its prior importance in the economy. I understand this may frustrate you, but we are not going back in time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 01:40 AM
4

Women aren’t happy with the men on offer either
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 01:36 AM
2

I agree with the spirit of what you are saying (I am curious to see how others respond). That said, while I am certainly in favor of repealing welfare programs, I don’t see how we could, if we value a free society (and I do) force people who do not want to say married to stay married. Despite that, removing welfare might be adequate to mitigate women having children with men who are not committed to them. This is all theoretical, though. Practically, not enough people are going to agree to this.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 01:27 AM
5

Oh I would LOVE a servant/handyman/ATM combo. Definitely do not have that yet I still have sex with my husband. Do you know a lot of those combos? Can you point me in the right direction?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:56 AM
9

Women get offended at cooking and cleaning because it can take over your whole life if no one will help you. I do not think most women take issue with the nature of the work itself. I am beginning to see you are about 14 and probably were inspired by the “go make me a sandwich” trope.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:51 AM
22

If being taken care of this way by a woman makes you feel loved there is nothing wrong with that but I suggest you pursue very high paying work so that you can afford a stay at home wife. That is the only way a woman will reasonably be able to offer what you are asking for without being consumed by resentment (which means no sex for you)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:49 AM
11

How often does a car need to be waxed vs dishes done in a typical household? Come on
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:45 AM
80

The problem with your argument is time. In your example your friend spent 1 hour per week reading a book with his GF. Do you know how many hours a day a typical household requires in cooking and cleaning per week? At LEAST 14 hours unless you are ordering takeout regularly. Are you spending 14 hours per week buying flowers and doing things for your GF/wife that are as unpleasant as cooking and cleaning? (I myself love to cook but a typical weekday meal after a long day at work snd then caring fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:44 AM
6

Maybe he was busy focusing on his business. Maybe he was dorky and had to build confidence. I don't think his lack of experience at 30 is a red flag if he has his sh*t together and has nice family relationships and friendships. As long as he isn't generally emotionally stunted, I think you are perfectly fine to keep dating and seeing where it goes.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/21 12:43 AM
18

Girl. You need to give this man a taste of his own medicine and start not caring about whether he is wearing his ring and stop acting desperate to hold onto him. It sounds like he has it GREAT with you but you are doing double the work and acting like he is doing you a favor by being married to you. Start seeing your own value. Google “180” and start taking some of those approaches. This man does not value you based on what you have written and you are buying into his foolishness. Being a red pi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/21 09:40 PM
6

I work in technology sales from home (I sell marketing software to businesses), and I make a lot of money (over 200k). This is a wonderful career choice that not enough women know about. You just need to be a little bit technical to do it, not a lot. You are mostly selling the value of the software, not dealing too much with implementing it form a technical point of view. Your background so far could be perfect if you have the right temperament for sales. I have a 6 month old baby in her nursery…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/21 04:24 PM
46

It sounds like you are looking for validation here, which is understandable. The thing that stands out to me in your post is that you wanted to leave the workforce because people were mean to you at work. I identify with this - this is how I felt early in my working life, too. When you are just getting started, the workforce can be quite brutal. You mentioned that you have moderate anxiety. Do you think the answer is to keep yourself away from the world? Anxiety is typically treated through slow…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/21 04:06 PM
8

men choosing to marry is a greater risk, and a greater sacrifice, than it is for women. It absolutely is not. Life is hard. For everyone. Grow up.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 02:50 PM
26

Oh please. Men also want legacy through kids as much as they want to fulfill their other dreams (typically anyway, not always). Life is about trade offs, this is no exception, and it is not the woman’s fault. Conflating having to face adult realities with being in a relationship with a woman is really twisted.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 09:58 AM
3

Crypto and blockchain are not inherently particularly interesting to women, but crypto is hardly the only wealth creation vehicle of the past 15 years. Your conclusion is ridiculous. There are currently more female c level executives and founders than ever before and this group grows everyday.... do you think 1/3 of women owned all businesses 15 years ago? Nope! I am a woman in software sales and I make more than my mathematician husband, by a lot. Soft skills are more in demand than ever.... an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 02:27 PM
1

Women have always struggled respecting all but the very top men. Traditional social structures are largely about constraining those hypergamous instincts. PEOPLE of the past understood they had roles to play and also that they would very likely spend good chunks of their life "just getting on with it," happy or not. Very often not. Both sexes have been pushing back against those roles for a long time. We are rich now and we want happiness. We are in the process of re-calibrating our roles in an …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/21 12:43 AM
2

I didn't ask because I don't believe the claim, I asked because I wanted to see the exact quantitative claim(s) before I replied. Women struggled letting a man lead long before they entered the labor market and started earning more than men. If a woman doesn't respect a man, she's going to struggle with yielding to him. How many pig farmer's wives do you think verbally abused their husbands in private out of sheer contempt festering because they *couldn't* leave the man? So women walking out onc…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/21 11:43 PM
3

It sounds like you wouldn’t be interested into a female breadwinner - which is fine. But how do you know that the divorces in question aren’t due to the man not earning enough instead of the wife earning too much? Maybe the wife only became the breadwinner when her husband’s career floundered? It is well documented that women prefer high earning partners. Almost no woman wants to be the breadwinner.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/21 10:27 PM
5

I out earn my husband, and neither of us expected this to be true when we got married. What helps is that his career is more prestigious than mine, so I don’t think he feels emasculated and is very career driven. He sometimes makes comments that I can quit working early once he progresses further in his career (which doesn’t mean a huge change in pay, just a small one), and I just smile and act appreciative of the sentiment even though I know it’s not actually realistic given the lifestyle I lik…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/21 09:29 PM
1

Link to claim divorce skyrockets?
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/21 09:21 PM
1

Woman married 7 years here. I don’t know about your comment. What you described applies to my sex life too, although it is greatly enhanced by emotional connection. Married sex will never be like first-time sex but it can still be quite satisfying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 04:52 PM
3

Stability, life partnership, kids, family - all EXCELLENT reasons. Instant gratification life is for addicts not adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 04:48 PM
8

Did they control for father’s facial attractiveness? Because I am willing to bet that older fathers are attracting women due to wealth and may be disproportionately ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 04:40 PM
5

I think the store madewell has some nice items for your age group. H&M honestly also has some decent stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/21 05:55 PM
8

“High value” isn’t about whether he is a trophy to show off to others. It’s about the kind of life you can build together.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/21 10:16 AM
28

My husband is a very handsome math professor at a top university. This is a 6 figure job and prestigious but not a super high earning job. Whether this qualifies as “high value” is in the eyes of the beholder. It does to me. I met him at the math learning center when I was an undergraduate and he was a graduate student tutoring the undergraduates as part of his responsibilities. 2 year age gap. We dated for 3 years before getting engaged. The formula I see work the best for me and others is star…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/21 10:13 AM
3

Hot girls can’t like nice arms? :)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/04/21 12:38 AM
2

Just curious - the people in this sub rail on women for being short-term focused and chasing “Chad’s” but then you also seem to say here that it’s impossible to control what you are attracted to? How can that be reconciled?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/04/21 12:32 AM
3

A lot of Chad’s do not get married or do get married and cheat or just behave selfishly in marriage and are not great husbands beyond the status and money they might confer. I actually do think a lot of that IS the breakdown of traditional families, as OP suggests. This isn’t to say I don’t also agree with you that she is probably trying for out of her league physically and/or has a lousy personality.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/04/21 12:30 AM
2

He bought his “wife” in Thailand and buys Thai prostitutes for $2. I’d say that actually proves he is disgusting. And he exposes his lucky wife to STDs.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/04/21 07:32 PM
6

Character is what determines whether or not a man will behave inappropriately. There are men with strong character, and you are realizing how essential it is that you vet for this. Character comes into play with things like this and other things too like will he stick around and care for you if you get cancer one day? The good news is that there are plenty of men with character. You just have to vet for it carefully and not turn the other cheek to signs of poor character no matter what.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/21 10:51 AM
10

Huh? I’m a woman, size 9 shoe, size 5 ring, and size 2 dress... so I’m confused by your comment.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/04/21 02:06 AM
3

Women have responsive sexual desire. I think women like dad bods because they think they can be a “bigger deal” to a guy with a dad bod, and that is sexually exciting. Obviously this doesn’t extend too far - the guy with the dad bod can’t be completely appealing, still has to have other desirable traits etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/21 01:40 PM
2

Exactly
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/04/21 06:15 PM
38

She’s obviously a stripper. Probably has been since her teens. She’s quite attractive (or used to be anyway) but her lifestyle choice of easy money without ever having to get any kind of education or learn any skills meant that even when she was in her 20’s no one took her as relationship material and now that she is aging out of that option not only is she single she is also screwed financially. What a waste.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/04/21 03:49 PM
2

I am in a relationship the way I am laying out for the most part, and I am very happy when my husband takes things off my plate and I am unhappy when he doesn’t. Are you sincerely proposing that ANY woman would be happy working a full time job in addition to doing the majority of the domestic labor with her husband merely “helping” here and there when she asks for it as if she is his manager? I can think of few things less sexy. I guess you really just want to stay a bottomLobster. Mom’s basemen…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 03:21 PM
3

If you find a woman at all you are going to end up divorced. The world we don’t live it anymore is the one where a working woman handles the bulk of the domestic load by herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 08:57 AM
5

What is so hard about taking care of yourself and half of the household? Men have 2 choices: Make enough money to comfortably support a SAHM and wife (a luxury) or do half of the household chores. It does not mean a woman doesn’t respect you if you are doing half of the chores (as you wrote below). She won’t respect you if she has to dictate to you because you don’t do anything otherwise. But if you are proactive and efficient and show her ways to do things in a new way she didn’t think of herse…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 12:26 AM
3

Ok then I misunderstood you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 12:17 AM
3

It doesn’t say anything about my sense of entitlement but it does say something about my frustration for myself and other women that we are often expected to work 2 jobs - our job job and then the bulk of the domestic work and child rearing. I actually love my career and I do a pretty good job being a good wife and mom in addition to working, but it is tough. I understand the appeal of a partner who has a job they love that doesn’t take up their whole life - my husband has one, he is a professor…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 12:14 AM
7

Women have always worked. Before the industrial revolution domestic labor took 10+ hours a day. "Domesticity" just doesn't take the time that it used to take.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:51 PM
2

Sure, when they can afford it. Most cannot afford it. And if they can, they have options. And since men like variety more than any one woman, if a man has options the chances that he will treat you well for life are 50/50 at best. It's unwise for a woman to let a man support her and take herself out of the labor market unless she has a considerable amount of independent wealth to fall back on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:47 PM
0

Oh please, men care. A LOT.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:45 PM
10

Of course, you want a woman who brings home the bacon but still caters to you. This is what all men want, doesn't mean it is realistic or that you're going to get it. The reality is that jobs ask a lot of us, so for most men this means giving up the idea of getting catered to at home or make a boat load of money. If you're average joe you might have to make peace with a woman whose job takes up most of her time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:42 PM
7

Get a career and take control of your life. He took you from granted because he COULD a because you cannot stand on your own two feet. Never do that again. Stop telling yourself you are suited only to a support role or else you will end up in an even worse situation in your next relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/21 09:38 PM
4

This is very sad. To me this goes beyond hypergamy and dual mating strategy. When I see someone like this what I see is yes, probably those things, but also probably a lot of mistreatment in childhood that lead to specifically seeking out bad treatment in sexual/romantic relationships. This is something that can happen to men too and is not just about going after the alpha bad boy. What a sad soul. God help her children.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/04/21 04:28 PM
2

Because it lowers the value of sex (typically women have been able to leverage sex to land a provider husband and stick around father) and because it undermines family creation and stable family life. Mainstream sex work is not progress...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 07:18 PM
21

Girl. Get a job. Traditional women had 60 hours of work to do per week caring for 10 kids and feeding animals on the farm. It is 2021. Being feminine doesn’t mean being an unemployed deadbeat. No high quality man wants an entitled wanna be princess, even traditional ones who would be open to you staying at home after kids. You are young and have time but if you honestly believe your beauty and submissiveness is all a high quality man wants out of a wife you will run your clock out because that i…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/21 02:03 AM
12

A) Leave the marriage because this is not a good situation B) I hope you are studying something valuable because you need a job and income. A man is not a plan, I don’t care what your heart’s desire is. Always plan to take care of yourself. If you meet a truly amazing man one day and marry him and trust him with your life then sure consider being a SAHM after kids but there are a lot of “ifs” in that equation. Life has ups and downs. Even the most amazing man wants to know if the shit hits the f…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/21 01:57 AM
1

There is an out of print book called “What Really Works with Men” by Justin Sterling. Look it up it is amazing. You can buy a used paperback.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/21 01:50 AM
21

In my experience what you really need to do is watch what they do (even how they behave in a quarantine situation can give you good clues). Do they show up for you the way you like?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/21 07:22 PM
41

In 2013/2014 right before Tinder came out I had a 35 y/o female colleague on match.com who gleefully came in and told me that she found the "secret" to match; just put up pictures of yourself in lingerie and say you are interested in casual sex while you wait to find "the one!" She was getting inundated with messages from really appealing guys (good looking, successful) who would never normally go for her and she didn't connect the dots that it was because they were up for the easy, free casual …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/04/21 10:47 AM
2

You’re doing a great job. Keep working on remaining fit etc. After that work on getting the best grades you can and researching a career path that makes you excited. Get involved with relevant groups and find mentors related to your career path; the social skill and confidence you will learn by doing this will be huge down the line in terms of attracting women. In short, work on yourself and develop an ambitious “why not me?” attitude about getting the most out of life in all areas. Become immun…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 12:21 PM
25

Your point 1 needs work. Some men are predatory but MOST men aren't. The typical man isn't attracted to vulnerability so much as he is attracted to cooperative, supportive behavior. If you are weak and powerless and too vulnerable you can't be very useful as a cooperative force. Effective men don't want to dominate women they want to lead them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 10:56 PM
18

I am a woman (married, mostly happily) and I lurk here because most of the women posted here are ridonkulous and I come for laughs. If I were a man I would not be interested in dating this woman for the reasons the others in the thread have stated, but she doesn't come off as demanding and entitled like most of the others. She even seems humble in her post, which is a nice quality. I think her last comment was just a way to soften up the harsher comment that she doesn't want men to come over and…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/04/21 07:18 PM
3

Just ask him simply and calmly if he’ll agree to stop going to clubs because you love him and want to be monogamous. That is vulnerable and not controlling because he can always say no (in which case you know what you’re dealing with and act accordingly).
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/21 12:13 AM
5

Yeah that is completely valid. And hey you can also try to find someone who won’t try to boss you around, tell you how to solve your problems and who is willing to let you dictate to him, but in my experience the most desirable men won’t go for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 10:37 PM
7

It can be fine - if it is the right man for you - when you realize that the scope of what they ask for is very small, like hilariously small. The bigger issue women run into with men is not accepting them as they are and demanding they do things they never gave any indication they want to or are good at doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 10:27 PM
7

Men don’t mind being monogamous but they absolutely do want their wife to do what they say and whatever they want. They will work to please their wife but they want to do it on THEIR terms and not be dictated to. I am not saying this is fair but it is true. If you want a serious long term relationship or marriage find a man who naturally behaves in a way that you can completely respect and accept with little to no nagging and who doesn’t ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 09:49 PM
1

I personally view a BJ as dirtier because that is just for him and not something I would do with someone I was not exclusive with. At least with sex I get something out of it too!
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/21 09:35 PM
1

I am not telling ANYONE to shove their feelings down. I am suggesting EVERYONE (men and women) properly self-validate and mourn any injustices they've encountered and to ultimately RISE ABOVE them with self-betterment. This is a transformative process that certainly doesn't involve shoving feelings down or victim blaming or anything like that. A person can certainly talk with others and seek to find some outside validation for injustices, but a person really shouldn't EXPECT it because it can be…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:52 PM
2

I know I am a stranger on the internet, but I truly say this from a place of kindness; the sooner you accept that other people will ALWAYS act from a place of self-interest and let go of resentment about that, the happier you will be. It sounds like you are frustrated, and I get that, but I think you gotta head the age-old wisdom of "don't hate the player, hate the game."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:21 PM
0

Couple of points: it’s true real wages haven’t budged for a while but have budged a whole lot if you go just a little further back. The price of goods has gone way down and so purchasing power has gone up for consumer product goods You are right housing and education costs have truly skyrocketed. But it’s hard to separate that from our standards. A family of 4 with a bread winner dad making 60k could still live in a 2 bedroom, 1200 soft house/condo of about 200k. They just consider that poverty …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:57 PM
1

A median wage earning 30 year old man has more wealth than his “rich” counterpart of even just 60 years ago. 2 income households are the norm now because we insist on having so much more than ever before.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 11:02 AM
29

This woman has a roooooough life ahead of her
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen30/03/21 01:25 AM
29

Trying to manipulate someone into showing you who they really are sooner (before you expose yourself - sex is not risk free for women, neither physical or emotionally) is not about a social contract. It’s just acting in your own best interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:21 AM
4

I see your point but from the perspective of a woman (I am one), we are warned since essentially birth that if we give up too easy we won't get a good man. That said, I slept with my now husband on the 2nd date, and I think it was clear that it was due to very strong mutual chemistry; I don't think he thought it was because I would let just anyone sleep with me on the 2nd date.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 08:36 PM
1

Aw thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 07:11 PM
17

OMG do not worry about having slept with 3 men. You are fine. You did the right thing. Advice: Don't ever tell a man what to do. It will NEVER go well for your relationship. This means you want to find a man who you don't feel the urge to tell what to do because he manages himself well. Don't listen to what a man says. Just watch what he DOES.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/21 07:05 PM
1

I have never in my life seen any evidence of that, empirically or anecdotally. I find that to be an odd claim. That isn’t to say that there aren’t synergistic benefits to teamwork over individual focus, but the idea that individuals are only playing not to lose (instead of to win) doesn’t resonate at all for the above mentioned reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 04:45 PM
25

You are the daughter of an alcoholic mother and have a toxic family. This is a you problem not a man problem. I suggest you seek therapy to get a better understanding of how you react in situations where people are crossing your boundaries. Your embarrassment in these situations is due to your programming. Trying to force your seemingly healthy man into accommodating your dysfunctional headspace will not serve you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/21 02:03 PM
1

This really is not a gender-war concept. Victim mentality negatively impacts both men and women. "Manning up" is really just "growing up" and both men and women benefit from doing it. I could easily be addicted to food and/or wine and blame it all on "society," but instead I take care of myself and do things that are hard and uncomfortable for long term gain.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:29 AM
3

That made me literally lol
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/03/21 10:31 AM
1

Source for your claim that individuals can’t play to win only teams can play to win?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:18 AM
3

He is most likely the taker in the relationship and she the giver. He probably thinks bringing in extra money “takes care of her needs”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:17 AM
1

I agree with you partially. I have always believed our relationships are our insurance policies. But obviously we don’t want to overpay our insurance premiums by entangling ourselves with emotionally exploitative people. “Society” is not a cohesive thing, it is very disparate. And it also can’t completely alter human nature, which is very connection oriented. There are people who will burn themselves by shutting everyone out, but many/most people still invest heavily in family and friendship bon…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:10 AM
3

Or just yourself. I have a man, thank you. I am not suggesting that anyone be the best person they can be for my benefit. “Society” has never been this perfect harmonious place, and life has always been hard. Either embrace that and work through it or be a shell of what you could be. Up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 09:58 AM
4

Letting yourself get addicted to porn is just giving up and doing yourself a disservice. Just jerk off with your imagination and not porn while you make something of your life and maybe one day appeal to a woman. Or go your own way if you prefer. But I suggest you stop whining if you want to become someone you are proud to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 01:22 AM
1

Do you have kids?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 12:52 AM
30

This is a great topic. I've thought a lot about this, and to me it seems that interdependence was necessary up until recent history when we in the west became wealthy enough for individuals to float their own households. We no longer need to be interdependent. Interdependence has plusses and minuses. The plusses are that you can specialize your efforts and enjoy a joint mission with others (significant other, family). The minuses are that you can be bullied and exploited; most interdependent sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 03:41 PM
1

It's too bad you didn't do this while you were married, I bet your wife would have liked it. Anyway kudos to you for taking care of yourself, it's not a bad thing. Your new clothes will last if you take care of them so you won't have to keep the higher spending up forever.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 02:44 PM
1

Do you normally make major life changes because you rfriends tell you to?
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 02:39 PM
16

I had my first baby in November at 36. I bounced back to my pre-baby weight (not overweight) in about 2 months. I have always taken care of myself so I think this helps. I think the difference between you having a baby at 24 or 25 or 28 is so negligible in terms of how you'll handle the pregnancy that you can completely put this concern out of your mind. Focus instead on being fit before pregnancy and generally taking care of yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/21 12:31 PM
2

USD. Well, I admit I do like to be very comfortable financially. I’ve made 30k and I’ve made 70k, and I like 70k a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 02:03 AM
3

All the women in my family did, and I plan too also. Working into you SIXTIES is really no big deal. That said if you didn’t work for 15-20 years and get divorced you might be working until you die.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/03/21 08:28 PM
6

What is wrong with working into your 60s? Don’t most people do that?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/03/21 06:59 PM
1

Do you have friends in top tier professional schools? It happens very frequently. Often women go to these schools and end up meeting a future high earning man there (reward). If they don’t meet a man there then they have a high paying job at the end (reward). Example: Jamie Dimon (Jp Morgan CEO) met his wife in business school. She is a SAHM now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 06:01 PM
2

Agree but it’a risky, VERY RISKY, to plan your life around becoming a SAHM. What I plan to tell my daughter is to plan to get into a rewarding and well paying career, marry early to a guy with as much earning potential as possible, and hope for the best but be prepared not to have staying home be possible (his career progress is not guaranteed). Also, if he cheats on her etc. I want her to have a good exit strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 04:49 PM
1

Agree this is unrealistic. Nothing to do with men vs women it’s just that in order to make an income that will truly allow you to support yourself (at least 70k but much more in a high cost of living area) you really do need to take your career pretty seriously and work 50 hours a week. This is just reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 04:44 PM
0

Thank you for your candor. Why do you think women challenge you? My husband (who I am thinking seriously about divorcing) likes that I am strong too and also doesn’t like to be challenged. I work hard so I would love nothing more than to come home and not challenge my spouse. If he does a chore I NEVER complain about how it is done. Where I complain, or challenge him, is about all of the things that don’t get done, and even those I try to wait as long as I can stand it before I bring it up. Ulti…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 04:40 PM
1

George Clooney is most likely not straight
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 04:33 PM
1

I’m just observing, not prescribing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 04:32 PM
2

Do you understand that these arrangements are mutually agreed upon so the man doesn’t have any responsibilities on the home front? Anyway good news for you that no one is forcing you into a relationship like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 03:30 PM
2

Untrue - she’ll apply all of her drive to helicopter parenting and managing the home perfectly so her husband can put all of his energy into earning. This is very much a “thing” whether it appeals to you personally or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 02:51 PM
13

Men care about status just like women do. Men absolutely want to date and marry women from their own social class. I think the ideal situation for many men is a feminine, well-educated yet intellectually humble woman who comes from a wealthy family and who can hang in those circles but who is herself semi-relaxed and ultimately completely relaxed on the career front. Another situation high value men go for is to marry a woman they meet in professional school (law school, mba etc.) and then both …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 12:38 PM
4

Is it possible to have a high sex drive and have low androgens?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 10:51 AM
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