Do I still have potential?

SubstanceFun3239 · 2023-10-01T00:07:52+00:00

I would be honest about your body count if the topic comes up directly, obviously don't volunteer the information.

The reason is high value men have significant interactions with women in their lives and they can tell. It's not your words but your subconscious actions that give it away. We are a product of our experience that we carry throughout our lives. It's never a good idea to lie to high value men that are into you, they don't come by every day.

ishtiakbbh · 2023-10-02T05:09:01+00:00

I'm a man

Men, including myself, typically don't go for promiscuous women because it just eats on every layer of insecurity for us in our partners in regards to: loyalty, self control, the feeling you found better in the past, etc.

I can tell you right now that if you managed to be such a good partner to the point where I can look you in the eye and feel completely secured in your past in regards to those aspects, then mission accomplished.

If you communicated this exact post to me where you put yourself in a vulnerable position and you feel a sense of regret about it and you're trying to change, I guarantee I would put my full trust in you.

Communicate, know your partners wants and needs, and stay confident in yourself. (Btw this is only if the man cares about your past, and I would say the honest answer if you're expecting a life partner).

Key_Hunter4064 · 2023-10-01T12:45:50+00:00

Don't go out of your way to reveal that information but if it comes up. And it always does believe me, never lie be honest. If you lie about it is something Men can never forgive. If you tell him and he breaks up with you, you did the right thing.

tradfemme · 2023-10-02T12:05:09+00:00

Congratulations for coming this far on your self-healing journey. Honestly woman of all marriageable ages still have the chance to get married and if your goal is to have kids then 27 is still a very good time to get married and have a family. Keep improving yourself and moving on forward. Wish you all the best xoxo

FishandThings · 2023-10-05T13:44:23+00:00

I am a man in his 20s and I would be fine with dating and marrying a woman with a past such as yours provided that her current life produced fruit of having completed a complete 180 of that lifestyle.

She would have to have a philosophy and/or theology that was antithetical to being promiscuous and clearly demonstrate her adherence to those principles by how she lives, acts, talks and strives.

So for example, I am a Christian, so she would also need to have become a committed Christian who clearly followed the teachings of Christ and Paul both publicly and privately. She would need to be of the position that her past actions were wrong, but that she has sought forgiveness from God and has been redeemed. If you are not a Christian, I would suggest another philosophy with similar principles such as Red Pill Women!

I would also need her to view her past actions/baggage as something either to strive to overcome and separate herself from as a new person; or for her to try to redeem her past actions/baggage and use them for good in her current and future life and our relationship.

How do I improve to be a high value woman?

Aim to put others before yourself (but without discounting yourself) Listen to men and try to bless them with your actions. Show with your actions that you are pursing good for everybody (especially your future husband) rather than just your own self-important pleasure.

And do I still have potential to find a good partner for me?

Yes, but that potential has diminished. There are men out there who under certain conditions would happily marry a woman with a past such as yours, but I think most men would be weary.

Do I have to be open about my background?

Yes. If you hide it and he finds out it could end your relationship. Try and use your past to show your growth and new potential as a loving wife.

God bless you.

86Logs · 2023-10-07T12:01:01+00:00

Most men will have hang ups, we are territorial. It doesn't matter if you've had 2 partners before us or 40. My girl has a past that's......well, it's storied and it eats at me every fucking day. With that said, I love her and she is an amazing human. It's a balancing act for sure. I don't like the whole "high value xxxx" thing because I hate the boxes but I'm 36, I take care of myself, I think I look good, I dress well, I'm probably the best in my field in the country and make ridiculous money so I guess on paper I'm a catch. I also have 2 ex-wives, a couple of kids from those situations and a 3rd from a fling from my 20s, I pay hella child support, I'm just recovering from my last divorce, I am a combat veteran with a few weird ticks, I'm medicated, high stress, and I've just started to figure out how to actually communicate like an adult.

The reason I say this is most dudes claiming to be "high value" think that going to the gym or making $100k suddenly makes them hot shit and then they wonder why they can't keep a woman. It's work to be in a relationship and finding someone willing to do the work is a hell of a lot more important than finding a girl that hasn't seen another man naked.

You will be fine, just understand when we ask about your past it's rooted in a need to be validated as your top choice and not the guy cleaning up the mess after every other dude got to play with you.

ecstaticfenatic · 2023-09-30T20:13:38+00:00

Yes, you still have potential.

The good news is that any woman who's reasonably pretty can find a husband.

The question is, what caliber of a husband?

"High value woman" is a very subjective term.

For the sake of discussion, let us say that a high value woman is defined as being in the top 10% of desirable wives

By that definition, almost certainly, no. 27 year old women with high body counts are very, very, very unlikely to ever be in the top 10% of desirable wives.

As to your question about being open about your past, NO!

NO!

Just be quiet about it. I don't ever recommend lying. But if a man asks you what's your body count and you say 30, he will be REPULSED. Just keep it to yourself.

But make no mistake, there is a grand army of desperate men that would gladly marry you as long as you're not obese or hideous. A grand army. But you may not be into them.

ayllie_01 · 2023-10-01T09:10:45+00:00

In all honesty, this is one of the reasons I am so happy about being a Muslim woman. Even as someone who has zero body count, I take comfort in knowing that the religion tells women that she doesn’t owe the man her past, no matter how it looked like. I hope you will find a man who won’t judge you for your past but will value your present.

wannaberunner131 · 2023-10-02T13:42:54+00:00

Hey OP I had a relatively high body count because of dumb crap I did when I was young. I still landed an amazing husband. I never lied about my past but I also didn't volunteer unless he asked. I had a root issue of my behavior too, but I worked through it and didn't let it define me.

There was one point he asked me about kinky stuff I had done in the past and then didn't like my answer. After that he kind of dropped past sexual experience talk and it didn't really come up again. There were still many things I didn't experience until I was with him and maybe that was enough from his point of view? Or maybe there were qualities I brought to the table that he cared more about. Also when we got together I wasn't sleeping around so he didn't witness the dumb stuff.

I think the Internet has a way of making things black and white but the world and individuals dont work that way. So yeah there probably will be men who care enough that it's an issue but hopefully you'll know before you get hurt. There will be men who kind of care but look at you now and still decide to be with you. And there will be some men who don't even care to ask.

So in summary, you can still find a great man. You're taking the right steps by working through your issues. Focus on what you DO bring to the table and work further on those which should include nurturing your man, caring for him, RESPECTING him, as well as other things

LongoneT · 2023-10-02T15:48:26+00:00

we have a rule in Islam. men should not ask about a woman's past and women should not reveal it. now you're in the present and I'm going to be completely direct and honest with you. if i remotely sense any promiscuous tendencies or behavior i immediately lose interest and most men are like that. men who want a good housewife to take care of. dont tell anyone about your past and they ask lie about it and who ever shames you for lying is out of his mind. as long as you are a good woman now you will find someone

burner4567890 · 2023-10-01T00:21:30+00:00

the answer is yes

red_Mercedez · 2023-10-01T09:37:05+00:00

Of course, improve yourself, read, elevate your mind, your soul, your physical appearance as much as possible. Forget about the rest. Focus on yourself, forget about your past, only on how you can improve and move forward❤️

If any man asks you your ‘body count’, consider them no value at all. What kind of man asks that in the first place..

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-10-01T10:44:57+00:00

Yes, of course. Never discuss body count. Never.

Luscious-Grass · 2023-10-02T00:38:45+00:00

Do not listen to anyone telling you to be honest about this. What you have done in your past is frankly no one's business, and you don't owe anyone answers about it. Also, if you are conducting yourself well and have grown far away from this behavior, it is unlikely any good quality man you would attract would ask you directly. If a man cares about this to an extreme degree, he would avoid a 27 year old because in 2023, the vast majority of single 27 year old women have sexual experience.

What matters is who you are today and who you are becoming. You really can't worry about this, because it will become a complex and a self-fulfilling prophecy (your fear that you don't deserve a "high value" man).

Please don't beat yourself up about mistakes you made in your past. You are not tarnished. Life is long, and you always have a chance to grow into the person you are meant to be.

spiffyjiff · 2023-09-30T20:54:11+00:00

HVM tend to buy new, not used

Sufficient-Print-705 · 2023-10-01T12:49:17+00:00

A high body count isn't attractive, but what arguably is not attractive is why the women do have these counts. In my experience many of these women with counts are either hardcore feminists who think hoe phase life is empowering, some are mentally or emotionaly unstable, some are using it to get validation, some use sex to try and get highly desirable men where sex is the bait, some are not emotionally capable of monogamy so they just sleep around.

Whatever the reason, men get suspicious when a woman has had a very high number of partners. The suspicion in the eyes of men is when we see a woman who is pretty and seems like a person most men would be happy to get into a relationship with is why did she sleep with so many people when she probably could have got many relationships of her past partners if she wanted that.

It isn't the end of the world. Whatever the reason, you seem to have learned and have turned a corner. You number may come as a sticker shock to men, but if you haven't had a one night stand in years the only men you have slept with in the last 2 years is 2 ex boyfriends, that comes across very different than a woman who has a roster of 5 men she sleeps with regularly. Be honest with partners and many men would be understanding based on you showing you have grown and no longer do these behaviors and haven'f for some time.

EmpressEnder · 2023-10-02T03:44:23+00:00

Sorry to tell you but it’s over for you, give up get a dog or cat and get a few hobbies because nothing men hate more than a promiscuous woman

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2023-10-02T15:59:09+00:00

Your alcoholism and suicidal thoughts in your posting history are far more of an issue than your sexual past. You don't mention that in this post, so the advice you're getting is missing the bigger picture.

A youthful hoe phase is one thing (and one that lots of men will overlook if their desires are being met). An active drinking problem/mental health struggles is another when forming a stable, long-term LTR.

Spartan_ll_117 · 2023-09-30T21:04:09+00:00

Yes, you have chosen to change so you still have potential, if you let all those thinks in the past you could built-up something nice

Just dont tell men about your past, a little lie i suppose

AutoModerator · 2023-09-30T19:24:57+00:00

Title: Do I still have potential?

Full text: Hi everyone. I am a 27 year old female woman. I have to say that I lived my early twenties pretty much as a promiscuous girl. A lot of dates, one night stands and short relationships. I figured out with my therapist where my behavior came from. I really feel like I am a different girl now. How do I improve to be a high value woman? And do I still have potential to find a good partner for me? Do I have to be open about my background?

Hope u can help

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Title	Do I still have potential?
Author	Mission_Eggplant_416
Upvotes	20
Comments	58
Date	September 30, 2023 7:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16wffod/do_i_still_have_potential/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-i-still-have-potential.1233550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233550

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