~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | She filed | MR-Ozmidnight | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 02:53 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | She filedI'll say one thing: be your true self and don't move from that if you meet someone special. Watch out for those red flags that we seem to forgive or overlook. When we start dating, be that person who won't shut up to keep the peace. If something seems wrong it probably is. But good luck and I'm glad you got something from what I wrote, that's why I wrote it to show that there can be a future, and be your best self and not to forget the red flags. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 09:30 PM |
| 1 | Ex wife having regretsThank you. I'm just calling it as it is | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 12:03 AM |
| 7 | Anyone ever meet their STBX affair partner? How did you react?They will never find happiness because they lack it within themselves. It's like a black hole that can never be filled. I’m happy with my life. I may have lost everything, but I still have my integrity—something they will never possess. I may not have known true love and respect in the past, but I won't let that define me. They jump from one relationship to another, always seeking something better because they believe the grass is greener on the other side. In reality, it's just an illusion. Whe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/25 09:56 PM |
| 16 | Anyone ever meet their STBX affair partner? How did you react?It was my best friend who betrayed me. Over 30 years ago, my ex ran off with him, but he ended up dumping her because he was married and refused to leave his wife. She returned to me, and I lost everything because of them. About six months after everything fell apart, I ran into them. He saw me and practically bolted. It was ridiculous how he tried to play it cool. I just laughed and drove off after dropping my sons off. There’s a lot more to this story that I’ll share someday. But this past Jan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/25 06:50 PM |
| 6 | Ex family.That's easy I don't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/25 10:26 PM |
| 1 | Confused and tornBe honest with yourself and your partner. It’s good to acknowledge that it didn’t work out. Sometimes, that’s just how it goes. You need to go through the divorce process, and if both of you can stay on good terms, it can be relatively painless without major losses. Dealing with the emotional hurt is tougher. Consider taking up running or hitting the gym to distract yourself. Counselling can also be beneficial to help you process what happened and how to improve for the future. There’s likely go… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 05:00 AM |
| 6 | Where to focus my attention for improving attractivenessListen, I'm not an expert, but here’s the bottom line: take your time. You're still figuring things out, and the only way to overcome this intrusion into your and your kids' lives is with time. Let the dating thing unfold on its own; if it’s meant to happen, it will. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 12:38 AM |
| 4 | Here’s a FML story for you!Make a stand on this. If she’s going to make one, you should make one and see how she reacts. Consider reading "No more, Mr. Nice Guy." for some valuable insights. I’m unsure what the modern woman thinks—does she even realise she's married? That's important. Stay firm on your stance; if you back down, she’ll just push for more elsewhere. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/25 11:21 PM |
| 5 | Still Legally Married, but She’s Moved Out and Moved On. Trying to Let Go Gracefully.You need to understand that she isn't the person you married anymore. Her actions while you were seeking help show a lack of respect and commitment. While you’re not completely innocent, if you were genuinely trying to fix things, then her failure to engage or communicate is on her. It’s painful when trust is broken, especially in a marriage, and it's essential to come to terms with that. Healing takes time, so focus on yourself—seek counselling if you can. Recognise your worth in a partnership;… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 05:44 PM |
| 12 | SAD RANT: Just went through pointless mediationStop the pity party. It’s not helping you or the kids, who are the most important part of this. First, do you have a lawyer? If not, get one immediately. I suggest a few books to get you started: "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." They’ll give you important insights into the situation, and you can get them online. Focus on the kids. Get your act together—they need the best dad you can be. They’ll remember you as the one who stood by them … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 05:18 PM |
| 9 | I need a friendYou need to stop the "Pick Me Dance" with your wife. She's either gone or about to be. It's time to take action. Start reading books like "No More Mr. Nice Guy," "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," and look into "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking." They can offer valuable insights. Also, consult a lawyer to understand your legal standing. Unfortunately, your wife is acting this way, but you're not alone in this situation. You need to shift your mindset—she’s not the woman you married anymore. If your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 11:54 AM |
| 2 | Happy 1 year D-day to meYou're right about the modern woman thinking, "It's my body, so I can do what I want." Many want to experience life but end up feeling used and then want to come back. So, be cautious of that. Take it one day at a time. If you have friends who have been there for you all along, stick with them—they're your true friends. Take care, my brother, and remember, it's a long road. You can always come back and ask for help or advice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 09:54 AM |
| 3 | Happy 1 year D-day to meIt's great to hear you're out and about. Recovery takes time, and it seems like you've managed to navigate through it all without too much damage. Just remember to keep an eye out for others who need help; many people are struggling, and every bit of support counts. It's good that you're sharing your experience, but be prepared for run-ins with your ex, especially if you have kids involved. It's interesting how some people can escalate situations yet still remain unhappy. They might expect men t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 08:12 AM |
| 6 | Tell me I’ll be okFirst off, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're not the first guy in this situation, and you won’t be the last. Get help with your alcoholism—whether it’s through AA or counselling. You have kids, and they deserve the best version of you. Forget about finding someone else right now; focus on your kids. They didn’t ask for parents who didn’t work out, and they definitely don’t need an alcoholic dad. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father. He used me as a punching bag, and my mother stood b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 08:00 AM |
| 5 | You’re The Bad Guy no matter whatRead "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." Also, look up "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking." If you haven't already, find these resources online; they can provide insights into her behavior. There are plenty of other good books out there, but these are a solid starting point. I get what you're saying, but stick to your plan. It may take time, but you'll free yourself from her hurtful actions. In the end, you'll find someone who appreciates you and wants to be with a good man… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 03:34 AM |
| 3 | Wife filed for divorceThat's good it's a lot to take in, but start at some point and do some every day, and soon you will have it all done. I wish you all the best, and remember you're not the first, and you will not be the last. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/25 01:50 AM |
| 8 | Wife filed for divorceStop fixating on the situation. Stay in your house, trust your lawyer, and focus on your own well-being. I highly recommend reading "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," along with looking up "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking." These resources are a solid starting point. Be the best dad possible. Your kids are likely feeling uncertain, so make them your priority when you're with them. Never speak negatively about their mother in front of them. Understand this: your STBXW is not… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/25 06:57 PM |
| 2 | I'm out and about, expanding my sphere of influence, and the ladies I've been meeting... tattoos everywhere, filler, botox, injections, face lifts, augmentations, overweight, etc. What's happened to America? Where can you meet unmodified ladies these days?A good woman will always lift you up, and you do the same for her. Throughout our 16 years together, we never fought. We had disagreements, but they became less frequent over time. When tensions arose, we would separate ourselves for a bit until we could calmly discuss what happened. This approach helped us understand each other's perspectives, and most issues never resurfaced. We met by chance when she was on holiday in Australia for the millennium. I was dealing with my own bad marriage, and s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 09:55 AM |
| 1 | Trauma from divorce holding me back.Listen, it's time to start respecting yourself. Don't let her disrespect you anymore. You're a good person who has worked hard to provide for your family, so hold onto that self-respect. Being alone is perfectly fine; you have friends, which makes you luckier than many. Focus on finding a hobby or taking a course in your career or something new. Keep your mind open for that special someone who might come along. When you respect yourself and learn to thrive alone, you'll attract valuable partners… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 12:55 AM |
| 1 | Wife (29F) left me (36M) out of the blue - grieving loss of the life we'd builtIt's important to remember that the end of a relationship involves both people, so it's not all on you. Your ex-wife played a role in the breakup as well, and recognising that can help you process your feelings more effectively. Now might be a great time to focus on yourself. Embrace the opportunity to grow and learn to love who you are. Consider seeking counselling if that feels right for you, and explore some insightful books on personal development and self-improvement. Above all, practice se… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 12:43 AM |
| 3 | I'm out and about, expanding my sphere of influence, and the ladies I've been meeting... tattoos everywhere, filler, botox, injections, face lifts, augmentations, overweight, etc. What's happened to America? Where can you meet unmodified ladies these days?Men need to stop changing themselves just to impress modern women. It shows a lack of respect for themselves and gives the wrong impression. Instead of trying to fit a mould, they should be confident and true to themselves. It's frustrating to see women make demands, like expecting fancy dinners at five-star restaurants, while guys are often looked down upon if they suggest something simpler, like McDonald's. Also, if you show up for a date and her friend tags along, I'd just drive off. That kin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 12:31 AM |
| 3 | My wife wants out and I'm terrified.I can relate to your experience. My ex was somewhat similar, and after 30 years since my divorce, I realized it was important to let her go, mainly because she never changed. Fortunately, I found someone special who rekindled love and trust in my life. She truly accepted me for who I am and saw the best in me, even during my toughest times. She has helped me learn to love and forgive again. While I acknowledge my past and don't intend to dwell on it, I’ve found peace in my life now. I keep in to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 11:02 PM |
| 4 | My wife wants out and I'm terrified.It sounds like you're going through a really challenging time, and I'm here to offer some constructive advice. It’s important to recognize that endings in relationships often stem from ongoing issues, and many times, they don’t happen overnight. Take this time to reflect on what’s been happening and remember that this situation is not solely your fault. Instead of placing blame on yourself, focus on moving forward. Consider meeting with a lawyer to understand your options and responsibilities. T… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 10:37 PM |
| 0 | My wife wants out and I'm terrified.Some women are like that, and unfortunately, we pay for that and I totally understand what you're saying. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 10:03 PM |
| 3 | Trauma from divorce holding me back.It's important to come to terms with the fact that she is no longer the person you knew, and the individual present now is different. To help navigate this change, you might consider researching strategies like "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking." These techniques can provide you with effective ways to cope with the new dynamics in your home and encourage a healthier environment for everyone involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 08:18 PM |
| 4 | Wife (29F) left me (36M) out of the blue - grieving loss of the life we'd builtIt's understandable to have concerns about your partner's intentions, especially if you've noticed behaviours that seem troubling. It's worth reflecting on whether there may have been other factors at play during your relationship, much like I experienced with my ex, who often needed "time to think" and would distance herself without clear communication. If you're facing a divorce, it’s important to recognise that, while it’s painful, you’re in a situation that might be less complicated than oth… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 03:07 PM |
| 3 | Menopause?It's important to approach this situation with care and understanding. If she's been forgetting significant things like appointments, meetings, or birthdays—not just the usual items like keys or her purse—it could be a sign of something deeper, possibly even early symptoms of dementia. It’s crucial to observe any behaviours that seem out of the ordinary and to address them gently. On the other hand, if she's exhibiting unusual behaviour, it might also be worth considering that she could be deali… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 02:40 PM |
| 5 | Trauma from divorce holding me back.I understand your feelings, and it's clear we've both faced some challenging experiences in our lives. It's interesting how similar our paths can be, despite the differences. I remember a difficult moment with my ex-partner when intimacy became a struggle, leading to an unfortunate end to our relationship. It still stings, especially knowing she was unfaithful, but I've learned a lot since then. As you navigate your journey, it might be helpful to remember that the person you married isn't the s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 07:11 AM |
| 3 | We had our day in courtI'm really glad to hear about your positive developments. It's refreshing to see wins for men, as it's often the other way around. If men continue to advocate for their rights and refuse to tolerate any form of abuse from their partners, we can certainly move toward a much healthier dynamic. Using a parenting app to communicate with your STBXW can be beneficial in many ways. It provides a documented record of interactions, which can be important if any false statements arise. This accountability… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/25 10:08 PM |
| 2 | Closed the front door for the last timeI understand that what you’re going through is incredibly challenging. Putting your heart and soul into a relationship only to feel rejected can be really painful. It’s important to recognise that her change isn’t a reflection of your worth; while we all make mistakes, it sounds like she has her own issues that are affecting how she sees you. It’s not uncommon for people to try to redirect their unhappiness onto someone else, and unfortunately, it sounds like you’re experiencing that. You deserv… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 09:52 PM |
| 1 | Taking Responsibility - We Could Have Done Our HomeworkIt's important to acknowledge the significance of trust in any relationship. While many women value and respect that trust, some may unfortunately misuse it, which can lead to deep feelings of pain and betrayal. As men, it's crucial to be mindful and discerning in our connections. The deeper the trust invested, the more profound the sense of betrayal can be if things go wrong. This emotional impact can be overwhelming for some, and it's essential to seek support and find healthy coping mechanism… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/25 11:37 AM |
| 2 | Taking Responsibility - We Could Have Done Our HomeworkIt's important to recognise the value of trust in relationships. Often, men extend this trust generously, while some women may not fully appreciate it, leading to misunderstandings and hurt. It's also worth noting that women frequently contemplate their futures, considering various life options or seeking advice from friends. This desire for a better lifestyle can sometimes overshadow the commitment they made to their partners. However, it's crucial to remember the vows shared in front of God, f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 09:20 PM |
| 2 | Separated 1 year. Custody battle. She keeps the kids from me and still demands majority of my paycheck.I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, and I'm really glad to hear that things are turning in your favor. It's natural to believe that marriage is a mutual partnership, but unfortunately, there are times when that balance is disrupted. It can be tough when someone doesn’t have your best interests at heart. The important thing is that you've shown resilience and have risen above those challenges. Wishing you all the best as you focus on your kids and continue building a fulfilling life! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/25 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Thought about her again todayIt’s important to recognize that your thoughts may be holding you back, and it’s time to focus on your own goals. While we’re here to support and encourage you, the real work has to come from you. Channel your feelings into something productive, like hitting the big bag at the gym. Use that energy to clear your mind and get back on track towards achieving what you want. You’ve got this! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/25 02:55 AM |
| 5 | Thought about her again todayIt’s understandable to feel a deep sense of loss, my friend, especially when someone we cared about is no longer in our lives. However, let’s take a moment to reflect on the reality of the situation. The person you are mourning may not be the same individual you married. If you dig deep, you might realize that changes have occurred, and you're grieving a version of her that no longer exists. She has moved on, pursuing her own path, and while that’s difficult to accept, it’s important to recogniz… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/25 11:32 AM |
| 5 | Why isn’t there a divorce hotline for men?I believe you're onto something significant here, and it's worth exploring further. Establishing a dedicated site could serve as a valuable resource for men seeking legal assistance and support. By connecting them with reputable lawyers who have a track record of success, as well as counselors who genuinely aim to help without biased perspectives, you can provide a real service. Additionally, it would be beneficial to feature informative books and resources that clarify the challenges men face t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 08:26 PM |
| 2 | Separated 1 year. Custody battle. She keeps the kids from me and still demands majority of my paycheck.👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 10:31 AM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?You're a good man, so keep that thinking, and I do hope that you never have to go through the hard part of seeing your loved one go and be a shell of what they were, As I said, I wish you and your family well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 02:11 AM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?I'm truly sympathetic to the challenges that arise when a loved one faces complications like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. It's heart-wrenching to witness these changes, but it’s essential to cherish the time you have together. Focus on creating loving memories while they still retain their essence. While it's difficult to confront the realities of dementia and other conditions in our loved ones, embracing those joyful moments can help you navigate the journey more gracefully. Remember them for th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 01:53 AM |
| 3 | Separated 1 year. Custody battle. She keeps the kids from me and still demands majority of my paycheck.It's important to approach this situation thoughtfully and strategically. Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate through it: Change Your Perspective: It’s crucial to shift your mindset immediately. Remember, if your name is on the lease or ownership papers, you have the right to remain in the home, and she cannot force you out. Staying put could actually strengthen your position if this goes to court. Financial Safety: You do not have to give her all your money. It’s common for p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 09:37 PM |
| 2 | i'm 40m missing my two front teeth, learning about interacting with women shit tests etc, and putting it into practice, whats your excuse?Why did you do EMDR for? I'm just asking as this is the first time I've heard about it, as I understand it it's to help with trauma, or PTSD, in young people? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 08:50 PM |
| 3 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?It’s always unfortunate when a marriage ends in divorce. If one partner feels the need to leave, there’s often limited action that can be taken to mend things. It's important to reflect on the lessons learned from the experience and use them to grow as an individual moving forward. I genuinely wish you the best in your future endeavours, and encourage you to stay open-minded. There may be someone special out there who can truly enrich your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 04:16 AM |
| 4 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?Thank you for your understanding. While loss is an inevitable part of life, much like divorce, I truly cherish every moment I spent with Marg. She has positively shaped who I am, and because of that experience, I remain open to the possibility of meeting someone new in the future. It's essential to keep an open mind, as we never know what wonderful opportunities could be just around the corner. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 03:37 AM |
| 13 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?After my divorce, I was certain that I would never marry again. However, about six years later, I met an extraordinary woman who was completely different from my ex. We ended up marrying, and although we didn’t have children, we shared a wonderful life together for 16 years. Losing her to early-onset Alzheimer's was incredibly difficult, and it made me reflect deeply on love and companionship. At this point, I am not actively seeking a new relationship, but I remain open to the possibility. If I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 02:04 AM |
| 2 | SXBX is going on vacation tomorrow. What should I do? Start doing some inventory of stuff?It's imperative to equip yourself with knowledge during this challenging time. I recommend exploring strategies like "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking," as well as reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy." These resources can provide valuable insights for navigating your situation if things aren't amicable. Even if there hasn't been infidelity, consider checking out "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" for further understanding. The more you know, the better you'll be able to manage your circumstances and move … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 09:03 PM |
| 2 | It wasn’t supposed to be like thisIt’s important to focus on shifting your mindset during this challenging time. I can relate to what you’re going through, and while it’s tough, working on your mental well-being is crucial, especially for the sake of your kids. They may be feeling anxious and upset about everything happening, so being there for them is vital. Consider reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy"—it's available online and might offer valuable insights into navigating your current situation. Additionally, looking into strategie… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/25 08:46 PM |
| 2 | Kids Summer RV Tradition Event Wife ImplodedIt sounds like you’re facing a tough situation, and it’s understandable to feel a mix of emotions. Remember, your focus right now should be on your kids. They deserve to have a joyful holiday season, and creating positive memories should be your priority. It’s important to avoid negative talk about your wife; instead, support your children and be their rock during this time. While the circumstances are challenging, it may be wise to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options reg… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/25 01:38 AM |
| 3 | After almost two years I feel like I'm finally getting over my ex wife.It's encouraging to see that you're in a positive headspace regarding your ex and focusing on your own life. I've been in a similar position after my divorce, and it took time for me to realise that I was mourning the person I married rather than the person she became. This seems to be a common experience for many men; we often hold on to the image of the woman we fell in love with, rather than who they have transformed into. Understanding this perspective can be quite liberating. Many wives cha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/25 01:24 AM |
| 6 | Don't lose your cool.I want to share some observations that might be helpful for anyone navigating difficult relationships. It's not uncommon for individuals, particularly in contentious situations, to react in ways that can escalate conflict, sometimes leading to legal action such as restraining orders. This can create an imbalance in the eyes of the law. For example, I spoke with a man facing a potential 10 to 15-year sentence due to accusations from his estranged wife. Fortunately, he had evidence to prove her cl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/25 01:05 AM |
| 2 | Getting remarried soon, need advice with some stuff.Life can be challenging at times, but it sounds like you've found someone special. It's important to give it your best shot. While things may not always work out, they can, and you have the potential to experience true happiness. Embrace the uncertainty of life, as you never know what it may bring. If you believe she is truly special, seize the opportunity wholeheartedly. Cherish each day and make it memorable, so that if the time comes for you to part ways, you’ll have treasured memories to loo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 11:22 PM |
| 2 | Getting remarried soon, need advice with some stuff.It's important to remember that everyone has their own "angel" out there. I experienced a challenging period myself; after my marriage ended when my ex left with my best friend, I was left to care for our two young sons. Unexpectedly, my ex returned after about a year, but by that time, the damage was done, and I lost everything in the divorce. I struggled deeply during that time and even faced thoughts of suicide. However, I was fortunate enough to find an incredible partner who supported me th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 02:23 PM |
| 2 | Getting remarried soon, need advice with some stuff.Well, go for it if you feel good about it, but take precautions to cover you if things don't work out. That's my only advice I could give you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 02:14 PM |
| 1 | Getting remarried soon, need advice with some stuff.It's great that you're considering your options carefully regarding marriage. While marrying again may not be necessary, if that's something you're exploring, discussing a prenuptial agreement could be beneficial. Frame it as a way to protect what you both bring into the marriage while sharing equally in what you create together afterwards. Emphasise that it's a commitment to a long-lasting partnership, not a lack of trust. Whatever you decide, remember that the most important thing is your happ… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 01:37 PM |
| 2 | Getting remarried soon, need advice with some stuff.It's important to reflect on your feelings before making such a significant commitment like marriage. If you're experiencing uncertainty, it might be worth considering whether this is the right decision for you. Prioritising your own happiness and living life on your own terms is crucial. It could be beneficial to explore options that allow you to achieve a balance between your desires and any expectations from family. Ultimately, seeking what truly makes you fulfilled is key. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 01:06 PM |
| 2 | Best books for post-divorce advice for men?Rebuilding: When the Relationship Ends is a good one as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 01:36 AM |
| 1 | WithdrawingThat sounds like a thoughtful plan. If that’s how you truly feel, I encourage you to pursue it, but I also suggest remaining open to the possibility of new connections with someone who might prove to be a positive influence in your life. I can relate to your situation; I once felt the same way until I unexpectedly met someone who profoundly changed my perspective. A friend mentioned that my past experiences, including my divorce, may have been necessary for me to recognise the difference between… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/25 10:01 AM |
| 3 | RantIf you feel that you have genuinely moved on from your previous relationship, it may be worthwhile to consider inviting her out. Approach it casually, perhaps as a gesture of appreciation for the lunches she provided you. Keep your expectations balanced, allowing the evening to unfold naturally. This way, you can avoid rushing into a new relationship, especially if children are involved and complications could arise. If she agrees to meet, focus on enjoying the time together as friends. Pay atte… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/25 09:50 AM |
| 1 | Divorce causing physical pain, how to fix it ?It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, and it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed in this situation. It's important to recognise that you're not alone in facing these challenges, and many people have been in similar circumstances. First and foremost, it might be helpful to shift your perspective. While it’s painful to see changes in your partner, it’s crucial to accept that she may not be the same person you married. Acknowledging this can be a strong first step in … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/25 05:35 PM |
| 1 | Looks like im joining the club I never wanted to be a part of…im heartbroken and not sure I’ll ever trust another woman again.I totally understand where you're coming from, and it's great that we're all here to support each other. I often think back to my own experience with divorce, which was about 30 years ago, and I wish we had platforms like Reddit back then to connect and share knowledge. If I can share what I've learned over time to help folks like you, I’ll be glad to do so. Divorce or infidelity are things we often don’t anticipate, and it can be overwhelming—especially when it comes to the financial and emotio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/25 01:26 AM |
| 11 | Looks like im joining the club I never wanted to be a part of…im heartbroken and not sure I’ll ever trust another woman again.First of all, I'm certain she’s had an emotional affair (EA), and based on what you've said, it's clear she's also had a physical affair (PA). On top of that, she's been manipulating you. I recommend you read these books: "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," and look into "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking." These are a good starting point, and you can find them online or as audiobooks. You need to get a good lawyer as soon as possible. Follow their advice; it’ll be pricey, but… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 11:08 AM |
| 1 | Unable to Move on- Ready to Die👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 10:50 AM |
| 10 | Unable to Move on- Ready to DieI get it; truly, I do. It’s hard to imagine what I went through—I lost my two beloved sons when they were just 10 and 5 years old. Their mother, my ex-wife, left me for my best friend, shattering the foundation of our family and taking away the home I had worked so hard to provide for us. To add insult to injury, I found myself living in a cramped 20-foot caravan, a far cry from the life I had built. Now, let’s talk about your situation. I can’t sugarcoat it; I need to be tough with you. Why wou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 09:06 AM |
| 6 | Red Pill helped explain the breakup...but it had nothing for what came nextHere’s the direct version: A lot of this is unfair, but you need to play their game. Learn it quickly and then master it. Are you using a parenting app? Check with your attorney to see if your district has one. It can help with her silence and other nonsense. It lets you communicate about your son's schedule, and anything said in the app can be used in court. This way, you don’t even have to talk to her directly. I also recommend reading "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 01:58 AM |
| 5 | How many of us were actually abused?I understand where you’re coming from. I was married to a woman who left me for my best friend, leaving me to raise our two young sons. Before that, I spent 16 years in a toxic situation where I never knew when she would explode. I remember one lunch where we were just chatting, and suddenly—bam!—I had a plate of food in my lap. No argument, no warning; just her aggression aimed at me. It was like she was trying to push me away. I stayed for my boys, but that decision backfired. They had to witn… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 03:51 AM |
| 2 | Moving away from family after divorceThat's OK. I have lived life and believe that if things are meant to happen, they will, so just hang in there, 🖖 | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 09:19 AM |
| 0 | Body count?https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/darwin-does-dating/202405/heres-what-shapes-the-importance-of-a-body-count There's just one and trust me there are lots more, as I said there shouldn't be a stigma about women's body counts but being honest and letting their partner have the opportunity to decide if it's a thing is important as well, comes down to honesty and owning how you live ok whether it turns out good or bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 04:16 AM |
| 1 | Body count?In today’s society, women have the freedom to explore their relationships and have multiple partners if they choose to do so. They need to embrace their choices, even if some individuals hold different views on the matter. I came across a situation where a woman had many partners in a short period, and she seemed confident in her decisions, possibly even sharing her experiences on a platform like OnlyFans. While I respect her right to live her life as she sees fit, I personally would draw the li… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 04:07 AM |
| 2 | Moving away from family after divorceLook, I had been divorced for just two years when a very special person came into my life. Although I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's about seven years ago, I've discovered the joys of living alone and have grown to appreciate my own company. I truly believe that you can enjoy life whether you're single or in a relationship. I think it's important to find a balance—not necessarily being alone, but also not feeling the pressure of marriage. If you explore old hobbies or try something new, lik… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 03:08 AM |
| 1 | Age 64, married almost 30 yrs., single almost 15, Ready to be couple again. I miss men, taking care of one, waking up next to one. I'm attractive, reasonable smart. No kids, no baggage, no strings, no drama. Great cook, former hairdresser, looking for partnerI'm so sorry for you. Yes, I came from an alcoholic father, and my brothers were alcoholics, I don't know any more as I haven't talked to them in 30 years. I have known working alcoholics, and your ex sounds like he was one, and you were smart to get out, as unless the alcoholic wants to stop they won't, and that's what your EX seems to going down that road, it's a pity if they just knew what they're in for when they get older. I personally don't and never have liked drinking; I will have maybe … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 06:14 AM |
| 1 | I don’t know how to make it outOK, have you got a lawyer??? If not, get one because you should have a visitation schedule already. And I think there was a mess up with the lawyers or something, and I find it happened at night as well when they got him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 02:53 AM |
| 1 | I don’t know how to make it outIt's great to hear that you have proof of your innocence—this is an important aspect in cases like these. Unfortunately, false accusations do happen, and it’s a serious issue that affects many. I recently spoke with someone who faced a long prison sentence due to a false allegation. Thankfully, he had evidence that proved his innocence, which is a reminder of how crucial it is to have proof in these situations. If you don’t have evidence, the consequences can be dire, and, unfortunately, the per… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 09:44 PM |
| 1 | She's a different woman👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 08:03 PM |
| 1 | I don’t know how to make it outYes that's the one Dr, Robert Glover. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 04:48 PM |
| 1 | I don’t know how to make it outYes, that's the one, Dr. Robert Glover | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 04:46 PM |
| 5 | She's a different womanLook, you got out with your son; be thankful for that. It can be hard sometimes when people hide their true selves until after you marry. I was married to someone similar. At first, she was the one who pursued me relentlessly until we got married. I probably should have taken that as a warning. However, she changed on our wedding night, and it only got worse from there. I dealt with pots, pans, and knives being thrown at me. One day, we were sitting at the table having lunch, and suddenly, I had… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 01:27 PM |
| 1 | I don’t know how to make it outIt sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time, and I want to encourage you that you will get through this. Remember, it’s common to experience grief, and it often comes in stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Understanding this can be a helpful framework as you navigate your feelings. As others have mentioned, it’s important to start shifting your perspective. Focus on the reality of the situation—you are not defined by your past relationship. It’s crucia… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 07:53 AM |
| 4 | What makes a woman “relationship material”? Not what you’ve been told.Many modern women have a specific vision of what they want, and it often translates to "I won't settle." What does that mean? It usually refers to a partner who’s 6 feet tall, has a six-pack, and earns six figures. The reality is that very few men check all those boxes. The chances of finding one who does are slim. Instead of stressing over this unattainable ideal, it might be wiser to stay single and see if love finds you when the time is right. If you decide to pursue marriage, it's crucial to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/25 12:51 AM |
| 1 | Help👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 12:14 PM |
| 2 | She filedThank you, but it's life, and unfortunately, some of us go through this. if we stick together and help where we can, it can only get better with information getting out to the people who truly need it. But thank you once again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 04:44 AM |
| 2 | She filedThank you for your response. I wanted to share this from another Reddit thread, where I was trying to explain a situation to someone who is going through something similar, but I messed it up, as usual! It’s important to recognise how some people can change over time. In my case, my ex ran off with my best friend, leaving me to care for our two young sons. After she was dumped, she returned and took everything—our home, investments, and, worst of all, my sons. But that feels like a lifetime ago.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 03:51 AM |
| 10 | Wife Wants Divorce, Affair?She’s been having affairs since the dead bedroom, and I hope she doesn’t know about the big money you’re going to get. If she finds out, she might try to claim a piece. You need to talk to your lawyer about keeping it from her. Make sure you have the best lawyer possible. It seems like you’ve got a plan, but I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." Those books will give you valuable insight into her mindset. You’re in for a tough fight, so just focus on bein… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 02:48 AM |
| 6 | HelpListen, I want to emphasize one thing: "Go see a lawyer immediately." She is deceiving you. There are so many red flags in your situation. The fact that she wants to explore her options only to come back to you afterwards raises concern. I would bet she is planning to have an affair with someone in her office or something similar. You are her plan "B." If whatever she's pursuing doesn't work out, she'll return to you, acting as if she's improved for the next round. Please, see a lawyer to unders… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 02:29 AM |
| 0 | Help!--can't figure out logistics of escapeIt's important to recognise that some challenges may not change in a marriage. If the situation feels genuinely unresolvable, it might be best to focus on what you can control, such as asking the Airbnb owner if you can adjust the reservation date to a time that works better for you. In the meantime, consider setting aside some funds discreetly to ensure you have financial security. It's wise to keep this private to avoid any complications regarding your access to shared resources. If your name … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/25 08:48 AM |
| 1 | Divorce Advice👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 10:50 AM |
| 5 | Divorce AdviceListen, it's time to clear your head of all this nonsense. If she wants out, that’s on her. You’ve given her an opportunity, and now she’s dealing with the reality of the situation. Don’t let it shake you; it’s common to see this kind of behaviour. Stand firm and take charge of your life. It’s not your fault if you've done everything in your power to fix the relationship. I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" – it's worth your time. Remember, her choice to stay in the house is hers alone. D… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 09:01 AM |
| 9 | It's not men's fault that women are afraid of themWomen don't really fear men unless they are ultra-feminist and believe the narrative that their leaders are sprouting. I have seen women do just as nasty things to men as men do to women, ie, my EX used to throw knives and pots and pans, plates of food, I have been hospitalized because she left me a week and a half in summer in Australia with no water or food when I contracted Meningitis if it wasn't for a guardian angle I would have died. So please, yes, some men do bad things, but also women a… | /r/MensRights | 06/04/25 08:51 AM |
| 5 | Divorce in TexasLook, don’t engage in the “pick-me” dance you’ve been trying. Move on and find the best lawyer you can. It may be costly, but minimizing her influence is what’s important. Show her that you have self-esteem and keep moving forward. Trust me; there are wonderful people out there. I was in a similar situation, but then I met an amazing woman who made my ex seem insignificant. I was with her for only 16 years, but even in her passing, she taught me that there are people who genuinely care for indiv… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 11:01 PM |
| 3 | Meet and greet jittersYou go for it, just take your time, and give yourself, both a chance. I'm wishing you good luck, and I do hope it works out for both of you. 👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/25 01:01 AM |
| 11 | Has anyone been on the r/Divorce subreddit? I feel like it’s run by women and is 90% posts from women talking about how much they hate being married and want a divorce.Yes, I have experienced it, and it's like a landmine just waiting to explode. I received a lot of backlash just for politely suggesting that the person who posted may have contributed to the problem. As a result, I no longer participate in that discussion because if people can't handle constructive criticism, they'll never find the solutions they're looking for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 06:48 AM |
| 3 | Very very few women actually lift a man up and make them better peopleI'm so glad you've found someone who truly cares about you. I hope you have a long and happy relationship with her. Cherish her and make your kids the centre of your universe, as you never know what may happen. Make every moment special. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 05:52 PM |
| 15 | Very very few women actually lift a man up and make them better peopleI completely agree. My ex was only with me because of my money and what I could provide for her. I took her out of a small one-bedroom apartment and into my three-bedroom house. When she got the chance, she ran off with my best friend at the time, leaving me alone with my two young sons. She eventually got dumped and came back to take the house, which I didn't mind losing, but losing my boys hurt the most. I struggled with thoughts of suicide until an incredible woman came into my life and saved… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 04:25 PM |
| 2 | Dating/Relationship PTSD anyone?Please take care, as this is a challenging situation. I recommend keeping certain individuals at arm's length or having a long engagement period. It’s wise to have a strong prenuptial agreement and consider placing your wealth into a trust for your children. Additionally, you might want to include a house in the trust for added security. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but given the current circumstances, that’s my suggestion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/25 03:38 AM |
| 4 | Modern dating IS polygamyLook, in this modern dating world, just don't plan on getting married. Unless you want to marry a 403 and then get cheated on and then lose half of everything in the divorce, it's up to you lot, Or you save your money and keep them at arm's length and treat them as they treat you. Fair is fair, No one said you had to marry. Ok, let them do what they like. Just don't buy them drinks or meals etc I hate how the world has changed, but you have to change or get run over. Look, most of them have this… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/25 03:28 AM |
| 3 | Want to divorce but will cost me too much...Look, you are not happy. Have you considered how the kids feel as they wait for the next fight between you and your wife? I remember when I was a child—my father was an alcoholic, and he fought with my mother almost every day. While it never escalated to physical abuse, he would occasionally hit me with closed fists, especially when he was drunk. Getting back to your situation, trust me, the kids hate the fights. I really understand your circumstances because I have been through something simila… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 02:32 PM |
| 12 | Don't forget... Men!Look, I firmly believe in the karma train, as my ex has been hit by it, as well as lots more cheaters that I know about, If you can say you were faithful, that's all that matters. You can't stop cheaters they can never be trusted. My EX had cheated on her first husband, then she cheated on me almost the same way, and she lost everything that she got from the divorce. I.e., house shares money and especially my sons they don't have much to do with her anymore, as well she has just met this guy and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/25 12:39 AM |
| 1 | Would you stay for the kids or go?I did stay for the boys but it got so toxic I decided to go. She ran off with my best friend at that time, so the move was moot until she came back after he dumped her A$$ and got everything: house, money, car, and worst of all, my sons, but it's a very long story but I'll leave it at that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/03/25 06:27 AM |
| 5 | What would be your reaction if your daughters do the same thing to their future husbands?I think anyone who did what their patient did if they cheated would feel the same hurt disrespect, and some would definitely think about disowning them, as they know the hurt and disrespect that goes with all this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/25 10:47 PM |
| 2 | Anyone leave for these reasons?Thank you for what you said, but we gathered to share our experiences because we've faced challenges and want to help others. I've learned that you should trust your instincts. If something feels off, there's likely an issue that needs to be addressed. You're not the first person in this situation; unfortunately, you won't be the last. Many of us have gone through these experiences before. It can be tough, and it's natural to wonder, "Why is this happening to me?" However, remember that things w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/25 10:08 PM |
| 4 | Anyone leave for these reasons?I completely understand your situation. Like you, I felt constantly criticised and never seemed to do anything right, even though I handled most of the cleaning, washing, and ironing after I got home from work; she worked, too. We had two sons, and ultimately, they were my main focus. However, how she escalated arguments upset them, and I started preparing to leave her. She ended up running off with my best friend, which, honestly, didn’t bother me. Unfortunately, she returned about 6 to 12 mont… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/25 01:10 PM |
| 2 | Is your new girlfriend way better than your ex wife?I'm thrilled to hear that because my main goal is to help others. I know how tough it can be when you're in a difficult situation, and having someone offer advice or simply understanding can help put things into perspective. I genuinely apologise for taking so long to respond. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/25 12:46 PM |
| 2 | Ex is hurt no one has reached out to her over the divorceIt's important to recognize that you can't force someone to engage when they're not ready. It sounds like your STBX is going through a tough time, closing herself off from friends and family. While it can be hard to watch, ultimately it's her responsibility to reach out. Relationships require effort from both sides, and if she desires connection, it would be beneficial for her to take that step towards initiating communication. It's a challenging situation for everyone involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/25 12:26 AM |
| 4 | I WonI'm truly glad to hear that you've found a way to spend more quality time with your kids. It's so important for them to feel your presence and support, and those moments create lasting memories. Time has a way of slipping away from us, and I know that firsthand. Having lost my boys, I cherish the time I had with them, and I always made it a point to show them that I was there for them. Now, at 68, my sons are in their 40s, but we maintain a close connection. They reach out to me every week, and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/25 12:05 PM |
| 10 | Why ex-wives act "fine" after a divorceIt is essential to consider the individual's circumstances and emotional well-being. He is in pain and is seeking assistance, which is the purpose of these online forums. They serve as a support network for those who feel overwhelmed and require guidance from individuals who have experienced similar challenges and have gained valuable insights. As the saying goes, if one has nothing constructive to contribute, it is best to remain silent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 03:23 AM |
| 1 | How to stop thinking about them?It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and I want you to know that taking care of yourself and your well-being is essential. Focusing on clearing your head and feeling more positive might be helpful. I recommend checking out some books like “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life,” “No more, Mr. Nice Guy,” “Doing the 180,” and “Grey Rocking.” There are plenty of other resources available online as well. I understand that balancing everything can be challenging, especially considering your son’s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 03:16 AM |
| 7 | Are any of you in this group on good terms with your ex?No, it is the short and long answer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/24 02:56 PM |
| 1 | Lost interest in womenI understand what you are saying, as I have had women like that in my life after I got divorced, Set boundaries: You're not prepared to cross, and if GFs don't like it, tell them to hit the road, as I hate women who love to spend others' money, so stand your ground and live your life the way you want to, so good luck and stick to your gun's. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/24 10:50 PM |
| 1 | Today I am feeling it. Frustrated AF.I understand that any day during a divorce can feel overwhelmingly difficult. It’s important to remember that while those feelings might persist, you will learn to navigate through them over time. Your son needs you now more than ever, and being the best dad you can be for him is essential. He’s scared and uncertain like you, so you must support one another during this challenging time. He’ll remember the strength you showed and how you were there for each other. I truly empathise with what you’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/24 11:52 PM |
| 2 | Age 64, married almost 30 yrs., single almost 15, Ready to be couple again. I miss men, taking care of one, waking up next to one. I'm attractive, reasonable smart. No kids, no baggage, no strings, no drama. Great cook, former hairdresser, looking for partnerI’m genuinely sorry to hear about your loss. I completely understand how difficult it can be to lose someone you love deeply. I went through a similar experience when I lost my wife, and it took a long time for me to come to terms with it. Life can often feel overwhelmingly challenging, but I believe it tests us in ways that help us grow rather than break us. I hope you can find peace with the memories of those you've lost, cherishing the good times you shared. It’s natural to feel anger towards… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/24 09:22 AM |
| 1 | Who do we talk to?Let me share some insight: she’s not the same person you fell in love with. Recognising this truth will help you find the strength to move on. It’s common for people to change over time, and often, these changes become more pronounced as the years pass. Trust your instincts; when my ex-wife left with my best friend, I had a gut feeling something was off. Their behaviour shifted—they became distant, we argued more, and they started socialising without me. These are the signs you shouldn’t ignore.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/24 09:16 AM |
| 4 | Wife told me today she retained an attorney and wants me to fill out a financial affidavit need helpIt's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed during this difficult time. We’re all navigating these challenges together and leaning on each other for support and friendship is essential. Please know we’re here for you, ready to help however we can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 04:39 AM |
| 5 | Wife told me today she retained an attorney and wants me to fill out a financial affidavit need helpFirst and foremost, you must secure legal representation. Do not sign any documents or agreements until you have consulted with your lawyer and received their explicit approval. It's imperative to keep a meticulous record of your involvement with the children, noting how often and for how long you care for them and keeping a detailed account of the time spent with them. This documentation will be invaluable during custody discussions. Additionally, consider establishing a financial safety net. S… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 04:23 AM |
| 2 | How'd you know it's over?It's essential to recognise the signs that a marriage may be over. If one or both partners are unwilling or disinterested in addressing the issues, it’s important to face the reality of the situation. Engaging in open communication or attending marriage counselling can be beneficial, but without a commitment from both parties, the relationship may be precarious. If you find yourself in this position, it’s advisable to start planning for all eventualities. Consult with a lawyer to understand your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 12:46 AM |
| 1 | My wife is a lawyer. A badass one. How to get a divorce without being killed?Unfortunately, some of them do, but it's about knowledge and, ho, gets the better lawyer. Although men are generally behind before they start, you have to use resources like Reddit, etc | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/24 03:59 AM |
| 3 | My wife is a lawyer. A badass one. How to get a divorce without being killed?It's crucial to heed the advice of others. Hire the best lawyer available, as this situation is anything but ordinary. You must secure the high ground and wield the most substantial advantages in any battle. Investing in top-tier legal representation may be costly, but consider the potential losses: your 401k, your home, and the obligation to support her financially for the next decade. Is that a cost you can afford to overlook? Ultimately, the choice is yours. Remember that the person you once … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/24 02:21 AM |
| 7 | Met the other guyYou made the right choice; he likely only heard the negative side of the story, and when you handled the situation gracefully, it surprised him. I’m sure she painted a different picture when you left. What matters is that your focus is on your kids, and that’s the most crucial aspect. Being the best father you can be in their presence will pay off in the long run; they will uncover the truth for themselves as they grow older. Trust me, I experienced something similar over 27 years ago. Always st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/24 02:09 AM |
| 10 | Wife filed and hasn’t told me…Listen, you must secure a lawyer immediately. Recognising that some women meticulously plan their moves and may catch you off guard is essential, so be prepared. It would help if you had clarity on your situation, so getting a good lawyer should be your top priority right now while you also start setting aside some confidential cash. You don’t want to come home one day to find your access to your house or bank accounts cut off—this situation happens more often than you think. Consider installing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 04:54 PM |
| 11 | Farewell BrothersThank you for staying committed to this journey and your dedication to paying it forward. Seeing how the community has rallied around you, and you've given back to others is inspiring. We must remember that this struggle is ongoing and only intensifying, so we must unite and share our wisdom to support those overwhelmed by this challenging process. You can experience moments of joy and then face deep despair, often feeling isolated. So, thank you once again, and may you discover what brings you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 04:22 PM |
| 3 | In need of a little guidance..First and foremost, if your name is on the lease or the ownership papers of your home, you mustn’t move out. Given the circumstances, it seems you have been the primary caregiver for the kids, which strengthens your position significantly. Next, I strongly recommend you consult with a family lawyer immediately. If your soon-to-be ex-wife (STBXW) is already discussing the situation, it’s likely that she has decided to end the relationship and is simply figuring out the details. Women often have a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/24 09:13 PM |
| 3 | Moving onI agree; get a good lawyer and see where you stand, as you could lose a chunk of your 401k and other things such as Child Support, Mantanice, ETC, it always pays to know things like that. I know it hurts, and you want out; I was in a bad relationship where we fought every single day. For what seemed like years, it's a mind field. So think about it, OK? Good luck was here for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/24 01:20 AM |
| 7 | Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.I can tell you that overcoming challenges takes about two years, in my case. It would have taken longer if an angel hadn't nudged me out of my funk. I faced heartbreak when my ex-wife left with my best friend, resulting in a painful journey that cost me everything: my home, investments, car, and precious time with my young sons while she was with someone else. She even influenced the lawyers in our small town, complicating matters further. I was in a 20-foot caravan, desperate and on the brink o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/24 08:44 AM |
| 4 | My wife of 10yrs said she wanted a divorce after another argumentNavigating the decision to stay or go can be challenging. Waiting might mean facing difficulties together while leaving, which could label you as someone who gave up when times got tough. Instead, consider pausing the divorce to explore the possibility of reconciliation. Communicate openly about your feelings and intentions, allowing her the space to decide. Remember, the divorce option remains available if the situation arises again. Trust yourself to find the best path forward for both of you.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/24 02:15 PM |
| 8 | Just found out there was another man... you were right (Support)Don't be hard on yourself. While no one wants to believe their marriage is over, times are changing. People often forget their vows and move on when it suits them. It's disheartening, especially when commitment seems fleeting, but it is a reality many face. As men who give our hearts and lives to our spouses, it can feel like we’re left vulnerable and hurt. The question arises: why bother with a marriage license if it can be disregarded later? Some might cynically say it’s about financial gain, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/24 01:57 PM |
| 3 | Finalized my default divorce today, no lawyerThat's perfectly fine; it demonstrates how the process can be navigated. Of course, some cases may vary, especially if disputes or children are involved, but I appreciate you showcasing how it can be effectively done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 12:40 AM |
| 2 | Wife filed false TRO restraining orderAcknowledging that previous leniency has not resulted in a behaviour change is essential. Therefore, it may be necessary to adopt a firm stance to communicate that her actions are unacceptable. The responsibility lies with you, as it is evident that she is unlikely to alter her behaviour without significant consequences. It is crucial to assert your position in a manner that conveys seriousness and encourages her to understand the necessity of adhering to societal norms. You have already made co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/11/24 12:36 AM |
| 4 | What’s a good passive-aggressive xmas gift for the STBX?A new suitcase with a UHale voucher. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/24 11:24 PM |
| 13 | I'm...very messed up.You’ve been through a lot, and it’s time to face some tough truths. When you feel disrespected, it’s natural to feel hurt and lost. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey. It takes two to tango, and it’s essential to acknowledge the impact of your STBXW’s actions; she chose to leave and deceive you and your family. It’s crucial to understand that many women strategically plan their moves ahead of time—often months before you realise it. This can leave you feeling blindsided. To regain co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/24 05:17 AM |
| 1 | MenThanks. Unfortunately, it's part of life. And life is sometimes hard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/24 06:15 AM |
| 8 | MenMy first marriage was not happy, but in my second marriage, I was happy all the time until she passed away about seven years ago. I still miss her, but I'm doing okay by myself at the moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/24 12:31 AM |
| 6 | Think I'm getting laid tonight for the first time since the divorceTake a moment to relax and approach things gradually. Remember, the outcome may not be what you expect, so make the most of the evening. Enjoy each moment, and if something extraordinary happens, that's great! Either way, you'll have had a memorable night. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/24 03:32 PM |
| 3 | Some days it feels like I’ll never get thereDon't be too hard on yourself. It's not that you completely get over the disrespect and hurt, but you learn to live with it. My divorce was over 27 years ago, and I still find myself getting triggered and cursing her today. Focus on healing and being the best version of yourself. Leave the hurt behind and move on. Unfortunately, you’re not the first person to experience this, and you won’t be the last. You may not get the answers you're looking for, so instead, live your life and build a family … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Age 64, married almost 30 yrs., single almost 15, Ready to be couple again. I miss men, taking care of one, waking up next to one. I'm attractive, reasonable smart. No kids, no baggage, no strings, no drama. Great cook, former hairdresser, looking for partnerI do hope you find what you're looking for. If I may, why did your first marriage end?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 08:14 AM |
| 7 | It’s been over 2 years and I still can’t seem to move onI understand what you're going through. My ex ran off with my best friend at that time, leaving me with our two young sons. After being dumped, she came back and caused me to lose everything. She showed me how some people can be evil when they are after something for free. She even prisoned the lawyer pool in the town where I lived and worked to influence a judge, who sided with her because it was often assumed that men were the ones who broke up happy homes. I was left with nothing, and she wou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 06:12 AM |
| 2 | 4 years post divorce now Ex wants to change financial aspects of a divorce decree that SHE WROTE.What I'm trying to say is I don't think you have much to worry about, and I hope you can get past this and live your life to the fullest. And this time passes into your history as a learning experience, not that you ever want an experience like this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 05:23 PM |
| 3 | 4 years post divorce now Ex wants to change financial aspects of a divorce decree that SHE WROTE.That's okay. Yes, there have been unfortunate rulings, but I believe your ex cannot support her statements. Your lawyer is pondering the reasons behind this situation. It’s essential to stay connected when going to court, but I feel it’s time to move on. As I mentioned, your son is almost 18, and it seems like they say—it's like closing the barn door after the horses have bolted. If your ex had brought this up a year after the divorce, she might have had a case, but only if she had evidence to s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 05:13 PM |
| 3 | 4 years post divorce now Ex wants to change financial aspects of a divorce decree that SHE WROTE.It's completely normal to feel scared when you're trying something new, especially when it's important. It's natural to worry, but try to trust in yourself and your lawyer. I'm sure everyone on Reddit is rooting for you, as many of us have been in your position before. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 03:42 PM |
| 6 | 4 years post divorce now Ex wants to change financial aspects of a divorce decree that SHE WROTE.I'm not an expert, but I think it is a grab for money, so just abide by what your lawyer is saying, as she sounds like she knows what's what and don't worry too much about it as what's going to be is going to be, as you said you have proof that what she said is lies so that's all you can do, so hang in there, | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 03:32 PM |
| 3 | 4 years post divorce now Ex wants to change financial aspects of a divorce decree that SHE WROTE.I hope it works out for you, and you can leave that part of your life in the past and move on to a better, fuller life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Thinking of leaving herIt's important to understand the challenges associated with cults. For example, you can look into Jim Jones and Jonestown or the Branch Davidians in Waco, Texas. Cults can be incredibly damaging and dangerous, and it’s very hard to help loved ones escape from them. I recommend seeking professional help to assist her in leaving the cult. However, you should stop dreaming about having a future family with her unless she receives help and exits the cult. This process often requires years of counsel… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 02:49 PM |
| 1 | How to practice radical acceptance when my Ex doesn't follow the orderI understand what you're going through. When I read your post, it felt like we were both married to the same woman. However, that can’t be true, as I've been divorced for over 27 years and live in Australia. Perhaps she's a doppelganger who travels through time, surfacing to make men's lives miserable. There might be a book in that concept somewhere, but the pain and disrespect these women can inflict on their partners is astounding, especially in this day and age. All I can say is to hang in th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/24 04:06 AM |
| 1 | Divorce parents honest opinion👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 09:05 PM |
| 4 | Long Time Lurker….1st Time Caller. EX won’t let my sons bring things to my house, not even socksYou're not alone in this situation. It seems that she may be trying to retaliate against you after realizing that life doesn’t always reflect the stories she has read. In her frustration, she may be looking for someone to blame, and since you appear to be moving on and finding happiness after the divorce, you’ve become a target. I recommend that you start keeping a detailed record of her actions regarding your son, as this could be considered abusive behaviour. Document each incident, including … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 06:57 PM |
| 3 | When to bring up that I’m divorced as a 25MI wouldn't worry too much until you've had a few dates and things seem to be progressing. When you start discussing a more permanent relationship, that’s when you can bring it up—unless she asks about it first, of course. Until you're in a more committed relationship, it’s really no one’s concern. If things don't work out, why would they need to know? So, focus on building a serious connection before discussing any statistics or external opinions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Divorce parents honest opinionThat's OK; as I said, I don't mind talking about things. I hope you found something that you can use in your situation. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 06:02 AM |
| 2 | Divorce parents honest opinionI met her at a dance night that we both used to attend. We went out together a few times, and I had a nagging feeling that I would eventually leave her. Despite that feeling, I stayed with her. This experience taught me the importance of always trusting my instincts. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 02:51 AM |
| 6 | Divorce parents honest opinionHi, I don’t mind sharing my story. I hope people can learn from my life and avoid making the same mistakes I did. I'll start with my marriage, as it helps explain my boys' behaviour. I was dating my ex when I told her that due to my childhood experiences, I would never get married and definitely wouldn’t have kids. My father was an alcoholic who beat me, and my mother was narcissistic. Although I didn't know what that meant back then, I can see now that she was just as harmful as my father, thou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 08:45 PM |
| 2 | Divorce parents honest opinionI understand what you're saying. It's true that kids often see the cheater as the one who breaks the family unit, resulting in less time with the parent who had to leave. My advice is to always be there for your children and ensure they know you support them. When they are with you, make them the centre of your universe. Be present and attentive because they can sense when things aren’t right; they are more perceptive than we often give them credit for. I can tell you from experience that my two… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 04:16 PM |
| 3 | Money branched ex wifeTypically, there's an old saying: "Do as I say, not as I do." It's clear that she's primarily focused on herself and not considering the kids. As I mentioned, make them the centre of your universe as much as possible. I don’t mean in every aspect, but when they are with you, truly be present for them. I suspect she's preoccupied with her new relationship and isn't fully thinking about the children. You sound like a great dad! Keep up the good work, and trust me, your kids will remember this. My … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 04:04 PM |
| 4 | Can a California wife give away money prior to divorce?If you sense that something is off, it's important to pay attention—it's your mind signalling that there may be an issue. Never dismiss these feelings as trivial. Make sure to keep a complete record of all money spent, as misrepresenting the value of your assets is not advisable. If you conceal information, such as financial gains from a promotion or raise before finalizing your divorce, it could lead to serious repercussions from the judge. Investigate thoroughly, maintain detailed records, and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Divorce with slightly older children?You did what you could. Whether it’s Christmas or just another day of the year, it’s going to hurt. Many people forget that children are perceptive; they can see and feel when things aren't right. It’s important to be there for them and to talk to a counsellor about how you can support them. Those who leave a marriage often overlook how it will affect their children. The impact can last a lifetime if not handled with care. Make sure your children feel comfortable coming to you, knowing you won’t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 03:40 PM |
| 6 | Money branched ex wifeBe careful, as my ex used to move from one guy to the next. Yes, this behaviour will affect your kids. It certainly impacted my boys, and my youngest, who is now 35, struggles with depression issues that stem from their mother’s actions. All you can do is talk to your ex, but if she's anything like mine, she probably won’t listen. So, it's important to be there for your kids. Make sure to listen without judging, and create an atmosphere where they feel comfortable coming to you with anything. Th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 03:26 PM |
| 3 | Does anyone get divorced because of the little things?You're not overreacting—it's a reasonable question. I would suggest starting to isolate yourself from this situation, as you mentioned that she has changed for the worse. It's often a red flag when someone starts to change negatively. I recommend creating a secret safety fund because you don’t want to come home one day and find yourself locked out or, worse, having your bank accounts compromised. While I wouldn't typically suggest this, it's becoming clear that husbands are increasingly victimiz… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 02:44 PM |
| 3 | Your going to be ok !!It's OK. I learnt that physical things are not that important, but the health and well-being of my sons were the most important things in my life. Thank you. I do appreciate your thoughts, and also, I hope you are doing well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 12:20 AM |
| 6 | Is it cheaper to keep her?Look, if you lose 50%, isn't it worth it for peace of mind? I was married to someone like your wife. Yes, it was tough at first, but it eventually got easier. At the very least, consult a good lawyer to see how things might turn out. It might not be as bad as you think. Also, consider setting up an account to help manage her spending of your money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 11:52 PM |
| 2 | About to go through it all"While you may have to leave later, she wants the divorce, so let her have the responsibility of packing her things and leaving, as well as fighting for custody of your child. If possible, take 50% of the shared of looking after your daughter and document everything. This approach will demonstrate that you can handle the situation and are prepared to do what it takes. It might be that she ends up with the child more often, but this shows the court that you are a full-time dad. I also recommend r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 11:44 PM |
| 2 | Wedding dressIt’s not healthy to hold on to her belongings. Instead, consider gathering everything she left behind and hosting a cleansing party where you can burn her things. This can help symbolize her departure from your life. Trust me, you’ll think about her for a long time, and while you may never completely get over it, you will learn to live with it. I’ve been divorced for over 27 years, and I still experience triggers from time to time. So, I suggest cleansing her belongings and transforming that neg… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 11:18 PM |
| 3 | Your going to be ok !!Thank you for sharing that. It shows the guys that people care and that they are not alone. I appreciate you. My experience was about 27 years ago. I was in a relationship with someone so narcissistic that it was almost unbelievable. She gaslighted me for months, if not years. The only way I managed to get through it was by focusing on my kids. I dedicated myself to them until the situation became unbearable. Her anger was impacting them, so I planned to leave. However, she ran off with my best … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 11:02 PM |
| 2 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?I had one bad experience, but I almost committed suicide if it hadn't been for an angel who healed me. We were together for 16 years until I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's. She showed me love and affection. That was just one woman, but when I read posts and see how modern women feel and behave, it doesn’t fill me with hope. I'm 68 years old now, and I have been living alone for over seven years. I can manage that, but I worry for younger men who have to navigate a world where they are often… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 07:42 PM |
| 10 | How Do You Cope? (2 Years Out)I understand where you’re coming from. I went through a similar situation over 27 years ago, and I learned that there is life after divorce. I was married to a narcissistic ex-wife who was primarily interested in money. Over time, she became more argumentative and started cheating on me with my best friend. Eventually, she left me for him, taking my two young sons with her. Later, she returned and took my home and everything I had, including my sons, which was incredibly difficult. I found mysel… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?It ultimately comes down to power when examining the dictators of the world. They target the group that poses the greatest threat or the easiest target, rallying their followers to attack and diminish that group's power. This strategy allows the dictators to advance aggressively without facing any resistance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 06:19 PM |
| 2 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?So true, and we as men are put down at every turn. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?That is so true, brother; we, as males, are an endangered group and must understand, stick together, and fight this manipulating behaviour. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 06:03 PM |
| 2 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?It's interesting how women often discuss male toxicity, yet many can't clearly define what it actually means. As men, we can observe how some women have contributed to family issues, but the blame often falls solely on us. In Australia, particularly in the state of Victoria, the female premier has initiated efforts to change male behaviour, which feels like just the beginning of a larger problem. While there has been a reported 30% increase in deaths of women caused by their partners, they often… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 11:22 AM |
| 2 | Today would have been eight years married.I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, but I want to assure you that it does get better. It's not easy, but with time, you learn to live with it. You may never forget what happened, but things will improve. I went through a divorce over 27 years ago, and I still have tough days occasionally, but it's much better than when it first happened. I once thought about committing suicide, but someone showed me that there is love and hope in the world. I've grown so much since then, and I'm grateful eve… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 04:21 PM |
| 2 | She's lyingSure, here is the revised text: "Look, do you know how many men get accused of this? Heaps. And they are usually dropped at the trial as there is usually no evidence. If you haven't been reported to the police by your wife, the judge will ask her why she didn't report you if she felt she was in danger. It's he said, she said, so don't be too concerned. As the others have said, be polite and courteous, for example: 'Yes, your honor' or 'No, your honor,' etc. Just answer with a simple 'yes' or 'no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 05:47 PM |
| 21 | Those who remarried after divorce…I'm sorry for your loss. In my case, I was married to a bipolar, narcissistic woman. She ran off with my best friend, leaving me with my two young sons. After being dumped by the guy, she came back and took my home, investments, and worst of all, my sons; she kept the boys from me any way she could. At that time, I was so depressed that I contemplated suicide. However, an angel came into my life and pulled me out of that deep, dark hole. It took a while, and I truly don't know why she stayed, as… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 03:34 PM |
| 6 | Ex-Wife is going to Adult Theaters nowI'm sorry to hear about your situation. I was in the army a long time ago and had custody problems with my sons when they were younger, so I can relate to what you're going through. In custody cases, the court often talks to the children, and depending on their age, they can express their preference for which parent they want to live with. It's important to keep a record of your conversations with your ex, as this can serve as evidence if she's trying to manipulate you. If you can gather proof o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 12:40 PM |
| 4 | Relationship with Adult SonI have two sons, aged 40 and 35. They have managed to turn their previously turbulent relationship with their mother into a positive one. My 40-year-old is a lecturer at the university, and my 35-year-old works in the pharmaceutical industry. Following the difficult times in my relationship with their mother, I focused on being there for my sons and made our home a sanctuary for them when they needed peace and harmony. Additionally, my second wife treated them as her own since she couldn't have … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 12:50 AM |
| 2 | Mental health taking a tollI hope I didn't offend you. I find it disrespectful that your wife reacted the way she did, considering all the hard work you've put in to provide for your family. I hope you can figure out how to move forward and find happiness in your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 03:46 PM |
| 2 | Divorcing a depressed wifeThat's OK, as we need to support each other when we have to face things that are out of the norm, and stay strong and remember you have people who care about you here as they have been where you are now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 10:55 AM |
| 3 | Mental health taking a tollOK, first of all, I'm sorry you're here; it sounds like you have been putting up with too much disrespect with that BS about women. Never apologising is rubbish, I would go to the MIL and friend and tell them to rack off and butt out, you going to be accused of your Male Toxicity, well use it, and that's a whole other story I would love to get into, but at another time. OK, if your wife has been threatening you with divorce, DO IT, but first, do your homework. IE: OK, see a lawyer yesterday and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 10:52 AM |
| 2 | I don't really know what to doLook, if she left and is keeping you on the proverbial string, she's keeping you as plan B, not plan A. That just shows the disrespect she's giving you. So she's out there going out with other people, and when she's finished with them, she'll come back if she can't find better. Do you think that's cool? No way. You have only been married a year, so go see a lawyer and see where you stand. If you're under a certain time, there may be no alimony, but consult with a lawyer. I suggest reading these … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 05:04 AM |
| 3 | Divorcing a depressed wife"I understand that this may sound harsh, but it's like the saying goes: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Similarly, when someone is facing challenges, they need to be willing to help themselves before any progress can be made. I can support you on your journey, but ultimately, you have to take the journey." | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 02:30 AM |
| 9 | I can't believe my 4 years of life savings are gone just like that...Look, it's a sad thing that happened, but don't let that setback stop you from working on yourself and becoming the person she thought you weren't. Show her and anyone else who thought you had given up, that you are a strong person and don't need others to become the best version of yourself. It's not going to be easy, but if you work hard and do the difficult things, it will show them that you're a strong person who never gives up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 05:37 PM |
| 3 | Wife goes to dinner after work and doesn’t communicate it.So true, never be without proof as there have been so many times the man has been accused of terrible things when he didn't | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 06:14 AM |
| 5 | Wife goes to dinner after work and doesn’t communicate it.I was you see a lawyer yesterday. There are so many red flags here. If I were you, I would be so worried. Look, you don't want to come home and find you have been given divorce papers and locked out of your house and your bank accounts. So go find out what your life would look like in that future, and start putting aside money that she doesn't know about or ever would. You don't want to end up homeless and penniless. Still, you may be surprised to find yourself in the wrong place. I would sugges… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 06:10 AM |
| 3 | What if I had just said "Sorry, I'm not getting divorced"OK, I'm sorry you're here, and that's just a bad deal. Unfortunately, it's the sigh of the time when I love 6, I'm not in love with you. As far as I'm concerned, it's a wrong move on the family breakdown. And you can do a thing legally, and you won't do something that was not legal and go to jail for a 304, and that is all she is if there is no reason only she got an itch to have sex with Chad or Tyron. One thing you can think about is that second marriages that start from affairs is 75% will en… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 05:47 AM |
| 0 | Vent.OK, brother, WTF? Look, if she is saying things like that about you, LEAVE yesterday As she's telling you, and now you know she has a date, that's the height of disrespect. First, see a lawyer and see where you stand, and I would suggest you read:- "Leave a Cheater Gain a Life," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." They will give you insight into how these people think. You can get them on the Web. And be the best dad you can be. They will remember, trust me, on that point, to start running or g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 12:50 AM |
| 2 | For you that stared the divorce process, especially the one that had kids!That's good, so take every precaution you can. My EX was also like that, so I genuinely feel for you. Take care and take time for yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 12:35 AM |
| 5 | How I got my things returnedLook, people are petty, especially at times like this. Just brush it off and put it down to experience and move on to be the best person you can be, and find that special someone who will love you for you. Good luck, but this is the first day of your new life, so make it the best life you can live. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 12:29 AM |
| 3 | For you that stared the divorce process, especially the one that had kids!"Look, if you're thinking this way, I'm sure it's over for you. I would recommend reading the following books: "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." They give you insight into how people react during divorces, and you can find them on the web. Be the best dad you can be and make your children your centre of attention. And remember, you have friends here who have been through what you are going through now. Good luck, and feel free to ask if you have any questions." | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 11:40 PM |
| 2 | Am I in an OK spot? Marriage is OverLook, I don't know much about where you live. I will suggest some things you may not have thought of. First, if your name is on the housing papers as the owner or part owner, I would suggest putting a security system in and around the house. You're probably wondering why. You mentioned that she went off the rails a year ago. Well, you don't want to be accused of domestic violence. I was talking to this guy facing 10 to 15 years in jail because of false accusations. He proved it was a lie, but yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 11:10 PM |
| 2 | How bad would it be…As I said, brother, we, as men, need to stick together and stand against the threats we face. I'm sure feminists would say I'm insecure. No, I know what my values are, and I won't shift on them, Good luck, and I'm here if you need help, ok. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 06:39 AM |
| 2 | How bad would it be…As men, we need to support each other in today's world. The feminist movement may make some men feel uncomfortable about their masculinity, but it's important to remember that masculinity has its strengths, such as its historical role in warfare. Imagine how different the Second World War would have been if men conformed to the ideals promoted by feminists. I have personal boundaries that I believe are important for my wife and me to uphold, and I won't apologise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 06:26 AM |
| 2 | How bad would it be…Look, it's ok. We fear the unknown, and we all can be scared, but as when I was in the army, it's how you harness that fear that makes the difference, Look, it's hard, but is it any more effortless living in fear every time she thinks she will be better off without you? I have been divorced. Still, I didn't have Reddit and other helping forums. I was by myself and lost everything, but I met the love of my life, so you see, there are incredible women out there who understand the hurt a divorce br… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 06:17 AM |
| 2 | How bad would it be…One thing I find concerning is when she jokes around, the disrespect is not funny. I suggest seeking marriage counselling and consulting a lawyer to understand your rights in case she decides to move forward with the divorce. You don't want to be caught off guard if she serves you with divorce papers. Additionally, consider setting up a private bank account that you can only access. It's essential to protect yourself if she tries to freeze your joint accounts or kick you out of the house. Also, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 06:00 AM |
| 2 | Man, Tinder is a dumpster fire, lolThat's great, but I think they are saying there seem to be a lot of women (people) who are just out to rip people off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 03:19 AM |
| 1 | Man, Tinder is a dumpster fire, lol"Yes, and if I want to mess with them, when they ask you to do something, like most scammers, they will try to get you to go to Google Chat or WhatsApp and ask if we can go there. I'll say NO, and that just messes with their heads because they usually don't know how to respond. They need to stay with you so they can try their pitch on getting money out of you. I just don't do what they expect. That's fun, and you should do that, too. Someone should invent a game where we get to say no and keep s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 02:36 AM |
| 3 | Man, Tinder is a dumpster fire, lolI've never used Tinder, but I receive strange friend requests from women on Facebook, and they seem to be after the same thing. I don't engage with them. Some will chat for about a week, while others will only chat for a day before asking for a gift card or Bitcoin. It's pretty amusing. If I feel like messing with them, I'll keep chatting, but I shut them down quickly if I'm not in the mood. I'm relieved to hear that others are experiencing the same thing. I initially thought it was because I'm … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 12:57 AM |
| 3 | There is hopeI understand the frustration when someone is falsely accused without evidence, especially in cases of domestic abuse. The accuser must face consequences for making false accusations. I hope the legal system can help you find justice in this situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 07:37 PM |
| 2 | There is hope"So true, my brother. Stay the course, and I hope you get your kids soon. Show this piece of wasted space the door and send her home to where she wanted to go, but with nothing as the price for falsely accusing you of such a crime. I wish you all the best of luck in the world to you and your kids." | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 04:53 PM |
| 1 | Still strugglingSo true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 07:32 PM |
| 1 | Still struggling"Your journey begins with the Mind, followed by Action, and there is a Karma Train. For instance, my ex's new partner fell out of a tree and broke his back, and my ex lost the business I had paid for and my house in the divorce. However, a year later, she returned to where she started before I met her. So, always stay on the right path and do your best; the universe will work its magic. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but it will happen. I wish you all the best of luck, and may you be the b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 07:19 PM |
| 1 | Still strugglingThere's nothing wrong with showing your vulnerability. However, it becomes a problem when someone uses it against you to cause harm. Be true to yourself, seek help if necessary, and never allow anyone to hurt you, even if it's just with words. People who behave like your ex are often insecure and try to feel strong by putting others down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 04:13 PM |
| 1 | My wife is begging me now to stopt the divorce process!Sure, here is the rewritten text: "If it's just about the kids, it won't work. I stayed for my boys, but I made their lives miserable because my ex and I argued constantly, making everyone's life miserable. Even after she ran off with my best friend and then returned, she got everything. It's a long story, but anyway, she made my son's life miserable because she didn't get what she wanted from my ex-best friend at that time. So, don't let that hold you back. As they say, two happy houses are bet… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 01:48 AM |
| 6 | Still strugglingTake your time. Healing takes time. I've been divorced for over 27 years, and I still get triggered occasionally. Give yourself time, as you never really get over it, but you learn to deal with it, and it lessens over time. Most people take about a year, but some take longer, and others take less. Keep up with your counselling and take it one day at a time. Engage in a hobby or pick up an old one. Volunteer and help out where you can, as it will distract you and give you faith by helping others … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 12:48 AM |
| 8 | My wife is begging me now to stopt the divorce process!"Listen, I'm not sure what happened, but trust your instincts. If you feel or know that it wouldn't be good to continue the relationship with her, then follow your instincts and don't look back. If you can honestly say that she hasn't been a supportive partner for a significant amount of time, consider letting her go. You'll know in your gut whether it's true or not. There are caring and loving women out there looking for good men, so why stay with someone who has let you down? I understand it's… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 12:37 AM |
| 1 | STBX refuses be reasonableI'm so sorry for you, but stay strong. I understand how you feel. I lost over $500,000.00, but I did it so I could at least see my two sons, who are over 35 years old. I think it was money well spent, as my sons have more to do with me than their mother, who has only gotten worse in her life. Not that I wish that on her, but I always say you have to be honest with everyone, especially yourself, as the Karma train doesn't stop. Be honest with your daughter, and be the best dad when she's with you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 05:47 PM |
| 2 | Better offSure, here is the revised text: As I mentioned, we are all here to help if you have any questions. I'm sure you'll get the help you need, and I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I highly recommend getting a lawyer as soon as possible. It's essential to protect yourself from being taken advantage of, and if not, at least you will understand your legal standing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 04:14 AM |
| 1 | Better offI'm really sorry you're going through this. It's important to take care of yourself, so consider going for a run or a walk at the gym. Remember, dealing with this situation is a marathon, not a sprint. It might help take your mind off things. I also recommend reading the following books: "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." You can find them online. It's crucial to have a good lawyer, so I hope you have one. You're not alone in this - we're all here for each other… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 03:11 AM |
| 3 | Post-trial report, a phyricc victory and why courtrooms cannot deliver justiceI understand your situation. I went through something similar 27 years ago, and now I have two adult sons who have also been through a similar situation with their mother. Despite her attitude towards me and her numerous boyfriends who never seemed to stick around, I've noticed that she hasn't changed. I don't care about her as much anymore, but I do help my sons deal with her behaviour. I've come to the conclusion that people like her never change, even when they struggle to maintain normal rel… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 12:29 AM |
| 2 | Better offThank you. I know everyone has problems, but when cheaters act like they do, it's the height of disrespect that no one should face. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 04:26 PM |
| 3 | How long did it take you to get over a divorce?Thank you. I like to think we are all here to help each other, as this is going to be one of the worst times in our lives, so thanks again | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 08:51 PM |
| 9 | How long did it take you to get over a divorce?OK, for one, stop doing the PICK ME dance; it comes off as desperate, and women never feel that's a good thing, although they love that you're on your knees and begging. Well, stop that. I'm going out on a limb here, but if she hasn't a PA, then she's in an EA; women, look ahead. They never stomp their feet and say whatever their plan is; she is more than likely 6 to 8 months ahead, and they're not going to have nowhere to go or funds, SO see a lawyer and find out where you stand in your name is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 05:27 PM |
| 3 | Better offI was married to a bipolar nasasisitc woman who used to throw plates of food, knives, pots, and frying pans, She even just hit me. I'm 6'5" tall, and she was around 5'2", and I just laughed it off, but that was so wrong, I should have reported he every time she hit or threw things at me, I'm not saying I'm perfect, not by any stretch, but I never cheated or even thought to cheat; I had lots of lady friends who made passes, but I said no as I'm married. Anyway, she ended up running off with my be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 04:46 PM |
| 7 | STBX just threatened suicide. What do I do?First, it's essential to report the situation to the police or Child Protective Services. Next time, if there is any interaction, consider recording it. However, be cautious as it could be a setup. Remember that if you are over her, she is her partner's problem, not yours. She stopped being your problem the day she cheated on you. This situation is more common than you might think, unless she has genuinely changed and taken responsibility for her actions, it's best to stay away. She may be looki… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 04:17 PM |
| 1 | Am I being selfish? Am I overstepping?I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Understandably, you feel hurt, upset, let down, and more because you care about your son. If there were an agreement, it would be appropriate to address the issue directly. However, if there wasn't, you may not have a legal standing, but from a moral standpoint, you have been doing things a certain way, and that should be acknowledged. It's important to determine whose turn it is to have your son. If you believe you are in the right, you should stand your g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 11:41 AM |
| 1 | I can’t wrap my head around how she is doing so wellThat's OK; we are here for each other and help where possible. It's one, if not the worst, time in our lives, and we all need assistance now. I wish you all the best of luck and remember; you have people who will help you, so don't forget when it gets too hard. We are all here for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Stbx refusing overnightsI found this, and through it, it was appropriate STOP TELLING FATHERS THEY SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT HARDER TO SEE THEIR CHILDREN & START ASKING MOTHERS WHY THEY HAVE TO FIGHT AT ALL | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 07:06 AM |
| 1 | Stbx refusing overnights"Look, if you have a lawyer, get tough with her. Use the lawyer because my son is in a similar situation. The only solution is to bring them before a judge and have the judge warn them about being in contempt of court. Get evidence that she's doing it and then involve the lawyer. I know this can be expensive, but what is the well-being of your kid's worth.?" | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 06:26 AM |
| 2 | I can’t wrap my head around how she is doing so wellFor doing the 180 look up Michellw Weiner- Davis's Divorce Busting 180-degree list. And for Grey Rocking, look up, How to use the Grey Rocking Method - Parenting After Divorce, at parentingad.com I do hope this helps you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 06:16 AM |
| 1 | Bitter sweetI'm sorry for what you're going through. You're not alone in this. Your spouse is saying hurtful things about you to your family and friends, and it's natural for some people to take sides. Don't worry about those who side with your spouse. Gather evidence and confide in your supportive family and true friends. Focusing on your well-being and surrounding yourself with positive influences is essential. I recommend reading "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "Doing The 180," and "Grey Rocking" to unde… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 04:30 AM |
| 2 | I can’t wrap my head around how she is doing so wellI'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's not uncommon for men to experience what you're going through. It seems like your ex-wife has moved on, and you need to focus on yourself and your well-being. I recommend reading the following books: "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." You can find them online. Look for other resources to understand a divorced partner's mindset better. Having a good lawyer by your side is crucial to understanding rights and co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 04:12 AM |
| 2 | Would you have stayed married if your wife was gay?That's okay. When I make a mistake, I do offer an apology. We're human and should be able to improve things when that happens. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 06:09 PM |
| 3 | Wife initiated separation but delaying divorce filingIf you're ready, I would get a routine for your child to avoid any confusion. It seems like this is her issue since she was the one who wanted this. If she's hesitant, she should seek help. It's puzzling that her wellness trips didn't have the intended effect, but ultimately, it's her responsibility. Let's focus on moving forward and being your best dad for your child. I recommend reading "Doing the 180" and exploring "Grey Rocking" and "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." Although these may not dire… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 03:33 PM |
| 1 | Would you have stayed married if your wife was gay?I'm sorry and won't apologise for assuming more than you said. I thought it was one of the reasons you had problems in your relationship. But still, you may have been better off going to one of the other divorce subreddits. As I have said, this is for divorced men, but I apologise again for assuming a problem that wasn't there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 03:07 PM |
| 2 | Would you have stayed married if your wife was gay?"That's a definite no. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you look at it. What happens when you find the love of your life and then divorce your husband? Or what if your husband was bisexual or gay? Would you have stayed married? Also, I think your message might have been meant for a different group, perhaps one related to divorce support groups. As this is for divorced men, I hope you find what you want." | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Should I win my wife back even through I know that she was 100% about to cheat and was going traveling with a goal to get laid?I'm sorry for the delayed response. If you're unfamiliar with the terms, a PA stands for Physical Affair, and an EA stands for Emotional Affair. I hope this clarifies things for you. I recommend reading the following books: "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." You can find these and several more publications online that will help you navigate this new chapter in your life and learn how not just to survive but thrive; good luck again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 01:35 PM |
| 1 | Opinions pleaseI understand your pain, but remember she left you, and you owe her nothing! Yes, look after the kids. She has put herself in the position she's in, not you. If you're not on the lease, then it's her problem. Where does this end? The next time she needs this or that, no, my friend, it's a slippery slope. I know you are concerned about the kids, but on that front, I would seek advice from a knowledgeable lawyer and do what you need to do for the kids. It's your decision, as it was hers to be where… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/24 09:05 AM |
| 2 | Should I win my wife back even through I know that she was 100% about to cheat and was going traveling with a goal to get laid?"OK, stop this nonsense. If she's saying, "It's not working," she might mean, "I'm sick of you and want more." Stop doing the PICK ME dance. Many people do it but trust us, let it go. The first thing you should do is get a lawyer yesterday. Honestly, she might hit you with papers soon, so go and see a lawyer to understand how divorce could look in your future. Then, I would suggest starting a secret stash of money. You don't want to wake up tomorrow and be served without money because her lawyer… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/24 07:23 AM |
| 1 | Am I headed for Divorce- wife searching men online and FB dating, no sexThat's OK; we need to support each other with knowledge and understanding. I truly understand what happens here, but it is part of life, and life is hard, so the more help we get, the more we make. The hard times are a little more bearable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/24 01:36 AM |
| 9 | Positive stories?Mine is a bit long, but I'll give the cliff notes. My divorce was over 27 years ago, and my EX ended up running off with my best friend at the time and leaving me with my two young sons. But after she was dumped by my ex-best friend (which I knew would happen), she got my home (which was mine), but anyway, my investments and, worse, my sons, I ended up in a small caravan, IE (I'm disabled), that was for over two and a half years. I was in a bad depression and was thinking about ending my life mo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 12:52 AM |
| 7 | Wife having affair with her therapistIt's good she can feel better about cheating and getting reandforsment by the therapist for her cheating No, realy, get evidence and report his A$$ to the authorities. I don't know, but I would say he's maybe unethical in having an ongoing affair with a patient Then sue the A$$ off him for influencing your wife into the affair, then dump her cheating A$$, but you need to do something, it's the disrespect the both of them are showing you, I don't know if kids are involved bit if they are keeping … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/24 09:06 AM |
| 2 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Yes, I've been hearing more and more of this rubbish if the male in the divorce isn't behind the eight ball already. All we need is more one-sidedness entering the equation | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 09:17 AM |
| 5 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Oh, I know what you're saying there; my EX told me that I had PROBLEMS and needed to see a psychologist, which I did to try and keep the peace or what there was of it. I went to the psychologist, and on the third appointment, he asked me why I was coming to see him; I told him my wife said I had problems! And he said, and I quote, Malcolm, you have nothing wrong with you. You are one of the most sane persons he has ever known, and he had sick people he needed to see. I would be wasting his time … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 03:37 AM |
| 1 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?I'm sure you understand that counselling isn't the solution to every troubled marriage. I'm sure my EX had bipolar and was an enormous narcissist. I haven't talked to her since the separation, but my sons tell me snippets, and she hasn't changed even after going to a psychiatrist for over a year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 02:56 AM |
| 2 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?I went to counselling once with my ex. We were each given 30 minutes to explain the problems in our marriage. The counsellor asked us not to interrupt each other while speaking. My ex went on a long tirade that lasted longer than 30 minutes, and the counsellor had to stop her. When it was my turn, I only said a few words, and my ex exploded, accusing me of lying. Then she stormed out. I remained calm, and the counsellor and I exchanged a knowing look. I just shrugged, said that's what it's like … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 01:13 AM |
| 6 | Modern women aren’t worth itPlease don't lose hope. I know it's tough dealing with the pain of divorce, but there are good people out there. I never thought I would remarry, but this wondrous person came into my life during my darkest times and saved me. I'm not talking about finding God or anything like that, I'm referring to this remarkable woman who came into my life. She had also gone through a divorce, but she pulled me out of the darkness and became an incredible mother figure to my sons. So, please give yourself tim… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 12:08 AM |
| 3 | Am I headed for Divorce- wife searching men online and FB dating, no sexOK, stop doing the pick-me dance. If what you said is happening, get a lawyer and divorce her. She's having what is called an emotional affair, and what you have said is disrespecting you, Get a lawyer as fast as you can. At least you will know what's in store if you get divorced. But honestly, don't put up with the disrespect. As if she cared, she wouldn't do what she was doing. Please take notice of what people here tell you, as most of us have or are going through what you are. It's hard, but… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 09:20 AM |
| 1 | She want alimony included in prenupNo I was divorced from her around 27 years ago and as I said lived in a small caravan for two years or so and then I meet the love of my life and we were marred for around 20 odd years but I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's about 7 years ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 08:56 AM |
| 1 | She want alimony included in prenupHer parents passed away, so that was the end of that, and by that time, I had enough of her BS; remember, it was 16 years, and it was terrible; I'm sure she suffered from bipolar and an outright narcissistic B!?&#, When she came back from her runaway boyfriend, she got a lawyer. In doing that, she went to every lawyer in our town, which I think you would know disqualified them from representing me. And I had to get a subpar lawyer who wasn't great and was worse. Thank you, man. I was out on my B… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 08:52 AM |
| 1 | She want alimony included in prenupI just reread my message. I think my spell check messed up again. I'm sorry for the confusion | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 08:12 AM |
| 1 | She want alimony included in prenupNo, I got married and married her for 16 years. Then, she ran off with my best friend at that time, leaving me with my two sons; in the end, she was dumped by the guy, and she returned and took me home. I paid for two cars, got most of my investments, and, worst, my two sons. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 08:05 AM |
| 7 | She want alimony included in prenupI understand that you want the text to be clearer. Here's the revised version: "No, absolutely not. If she was insistent on not wanting your money, why is she asking for so much? The saying goes that if you have a gut feeling, trust it. I've been in a situation like this before. I called it off. There was no way I wouldn't lose my money. She didn't have a cent to her name, and I had to pay off her debts before we married. I also lent her parents $10,000.00 and never got a cent back. I lost over … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 06:11 AM |
| 1 | Idk what to do, I feel hoplessI'm sorry to hear about your situation. Your partner should be unable to take funds from your joint account. I recommend getting a lawyer as soon as possible because she may have done this before. You are entitled to half of everything, especially if you've used your funds to pay for s like the house or car. It's essential to have a lawyer to ensure you get what you are entitled to. If your partner earns more than you, she may have to pay for your lawyer since she filed first. Having a lawyer wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 03:07 AM |
| 2 | Separating and Divorcing after 20+ years, worried about getting back in the dating game after so long...Good on you, and take it one step at a time. 👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 05:50 AM |
| 3 | FuriousI'm so sorry for what you're going through. Unfortunately, you're not alone in this; many others have had similar terrible experiences. I understand your feelings. I was married to a bipolar, selfish woman. I had a home and made investments for my sons. They, like you, are also victims when dealing with a combative ex-partner who refuses to co-parent. What I found worked for me was to be the best father I could be. Love your daughter with all your heart. Don't worry about what's going on in your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 03:38 AM |
| 1 | Separating and Divorcing after 20+ years, worried about getting back in the dating game after so long...That's OK; that's why we are here to help each other in this terrible time. We have a great community of people who will help where they can, as no one deserves to be heard. The best of luck to you, but you sound like you are going to be ok 👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:40 AM |
| 9 | Separating and Divorcing after 20+ years, worried about getting back in the dating game after so long...Please take the advice that people are giving: finalise the divorce first. I'm helping my son and advised him to finalise the divorce before he starts dating. He's doing well, but he has found a wonderful girl, and he's having trouble with his soon-to-be ex-wife (STBXW). The STBXW even attacked his new girlfriend, and she had to take out a restraining order against the STBXW. You wouldn't want that to happen to you or your new girlfriend, so make sure your head is in a good place first. You may … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:29 AM |
| 1 | She wants a divorce after 40 yearsGet blindsided and left with little to nothing. I'm more worried he would trust his STBXW, which could be disastrous for him. I'm sure you would never go into any negotiations without legal representation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 09:57 PM |
| 1 | She wants a divorce after 40 yearsThat may be the case, and that is true, but I was more worried he wouldn't get a lawyer and then get blindsided, which I have seen so many times. I have problems when people go through life and all of a subbed | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 09:52 PM |
| 2 | She wants a divorce after 40 yearsI understand your concern, but I have seen many cases where the male spouse has been caught off guard and left with very little. I am worried that he is not getting a lawyer and trusting his soon-to-be ex-wife, which I believe would be a mistake. You should never trust someone you have lived with for 40 years, especially if they now want to find themselves. I find it hard to believe. I have seen cases where women have medical problems but tend to draw closer to each other, but I am not sure. So … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 09:30 PM |
| 20 | She wants a divorce after 40 yearsI'm so sorry this has happened to you, but I'm worried that your wife may not be as truthful as you think. Women don't make major decisions like this without a plan to move on, and they usually progress in life rather than taking steps backward or sideways. I think if you investigate this further, you may be surprised. Before she blindsides you, it's essential to understand where you stand. You should be cautious if she's only after money and already involved with someone else. Your wife seems t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 04:51 PM |
| 3 | How to respond..She no longer accommodates her requests to change the agreed-upon custody schedule. If it's her day to have the boys, it's her day. If she wants to make changes, disagree and stick strictly to the co-parenting agreement. It seems like you always agree with her, but it's important to adhere to the agreement. When you have your sons, prioritise them and be your best father. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 09:32 AM |
| 3 | Need to vent…I think the original text could be clearer and more coherent. Here's a revised version: "Hey, I understand that this is a place to express your frustrations, but when it comes to the issue with your son's two dads, if you have a reasonably good relationship with your ex-wife, you should talk to her about the fact that he's not your son's biological father. However, legally, you may not have much ground to stand on unless she or her partner poses a risk to your son. I get where you're coming from… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 02:59 AM |
| 2 | Ex taking daughters and moving out of state.OK, I will make this as simple as I know how to get a lawyer, as your EXW can't take the kids out of state. Permanently, without your permission, even for a vacation, I would say you have a case of kidnapping if you wanted to push it as your EXW misrepresented herself by saying it was just a vacation or whatever you said. So go and see your lawyer and see what you can do. That's the best you can do, but as I said, I think you would have a good case. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 09:14 AM |
| 2 | Legal consequences for going against wife's wishesSure, here is the revised text: Yes, if there is a custody agreement in place, then maybe you should consider it, but if not, go for it as long as you don't leave the state. What will she do, divorce you or something? Lol. But honestly, you're their legal father, so she can't make you do anything. It's an excellent time to start showing her the new reality; when the kids are with you, she can't say a thing, just like you can't stop her from seeing the kids unless they're in danger, which I'm sur… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 03:17 AM |
| 1 | Wow, this describes meMy first wife was around ten years old when she ran off with my best friend then, and I remarried around two years later. That marriage lasted around 17 years when I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's, which was around seven years ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/24 05:17 PM |
| 1 | Having a tough night tonight guysI'm so sorry for you. Look, don't feel too bad. Ok, it happens. Something will trigger a bad day; it lessens over time but never honestly goes. I have been divorced for over 28 years, and I still get triggered; all you can do is stay away from the booze, as only bad things can come from that. Try to be with great friends who know and understand what you are going through. It will pass, I can promise you that. Hang in there; there will be better tomorrow's. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/24 09:36 AM |
| 4 | Wow, this describes meA lot of them, there are lovely ladies out there. Keep your mind open to that fact, But overall, I agree with you that a lot of women appear to be opportunists; I had one like that when we met; she had nothing, and she didn't work after we met but worded away with my home, which I had before I met her, and most of my investments cars I bought her, and $10,000 I lent her parents which was never paid back. So that's a bit of why I agree with you | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/24 12:42 AM |
| 3 | My wife left me and I’m struggling with understanding why.I'm really sorry for what you're going through. No one should have to endure this kind of treatment. It seems like your partner may have been struggling with some issues, but that doesn't excuse how you've been treated. I went through a similar experience in my own divorce many years ago, so I understand how hard it can be. It's important for you to focus on healing yourself and being there for your kids. You did your best, but sometimes people don't want to be helped. It's like the saying goes,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/24 03:59 PM |
| 7 | She wants me out but I do the majority of day to day care for our children, I work from home, and I have no one in the area"If your name is on the lease or ownership papers, she can't make you leave. Since you do everything anyway, consider taking the kids and letting her go; you sound like a competent man. I suspect she is in an emotional affair if not a physical one, and that's likely the source of her family problems. It wouldn't surprise me if that were the case. I've often heard about this situation: Why should you move out when she wants to change? Stand your ground and stay put. Get all the information from t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/24 01:02 AM |
| 5 | Very depressed.That's OK. Everyone needs help, and I thought my situation may help; time will only tell. Thank you for the warm wards | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/24 06:24 AM |
| 16 | Very depressed.Hey, I've been divorced for over 29 years, and I still have bad days from time to time. It's different for everyone, and dealing with the passing of your parents adds another layer of difficulty. Trust me, it's really tough. The love of my life found me two years after my divorce, and we had 17 beautiful years together before I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's seven years ago. I miss her every single day, but she taught me that there is love and warmth out there. It's up to you to find it. "W… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/24 04:41 AM |
| 2 | Ex wife having regrets"It's great that you are moving on, and I'm so pleased you're getting help. I think it helps us overcome the hurt and the remorse we all feel when we are betrayed. We can regain our confidence and start living a happy life again. Yes, we all need each other here on this Reddit, and together, we can empower others to do the right thing based on our past experiences. Take care, brother, and live your life with joy 😊" | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 04:06 PM |
| 3 | Ex wife having regretsIt's okay if you don't want to be with a partner. I hope you're getting counseling to help you through the hurt and pain. If you don't want to be with someone, then live your life the way you think is best. If you want to be alone, that's your choice, but I believe everyone deserves to have someone who will love and care for them in a relationship. I wish you the best of luck, and perhaps in a few years, you will change your mind and find someone who will love you for who you are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 12:46 PM |
| 1 | After a solid year of lies, cheating, gaslighting and abuse I'm officially moved out 💪It's always sad when partnerships break down, but if it's like you said, you're better off and move on. It sounds like your ex is starting to get help, which is good, but never apologise when you leave an aggressive relationship, as I know that that is like zero, so I understand. Move on and live your life to the best you can, and maybe, after some time, meet that person with whom you can live. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 09:33 AM |
| 6 | Ex trying to back out…If you have a written agreement or the court has stated in the divorce decree that the house has to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50, then you need to follow through with it. Whether she wants to keep the house, not yours, is her decision. I've seen this situation before one partner agrees to sell the house and split the proceeds but then decides to keep the house and pay the ex-partner later. However, it's important to remember that the house is a joint asset and should be split equally. So… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 06:13 AM |
| 4 | Ex wife having regretsIf that is the case, then you are lucky. Most people don't experience what I described; my story was about something that happens often but not always. If anyone is in an abusive relationship, that's wrong. The person being abused needs to leave and find shelter and peace. No one has the right or authority to harm anyone else, ever. If this was your situation, I'm sorry for what you went through, and I hope you have found peace, a safe place, and a way to live in peace. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 05:44 PM |
| 2 | How do you guys navigate your exp spouses parents passing away.Just be there for your kids. She showed you what she was; just be polite and Curtis's, but don't take BS from her. You're there for the kids. No one eals, you do your best, but don't be a wiping post for your EX ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 10:38 AM |
| 28 | Ex wife having regretsIt seems like this situation happens quite often with ex-partners. First, they leave a great partner, meet new people, and want to take things to the next level, only to be rejected or ghosted. Then they realise that these new, exciting individuals have used and discarded them. They start to notice that they're no longer being asked out and want their dependable partner back, only to find out that their ex has moved on and found someone new. It's ironic how often this happens, and it shows that … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 03:47 AM |
| 5 | No matter what I do she keeps telling me I'm not doing enoughI can understand; that's why you need a lawyer to work things out and know where you stand; unless you have a good lawyer, you are not doing the right thing for the kids and yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 02:18 AM |
| 4 | No matter what I do she keeps telling me I'm not doing enoughThat's OK; we all need help at times, and remember you have friends here as they all have or are going through what you are | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 02:13 AM |
| 11 | No matter what I do she keeps telling me I'm not doing enough"Okay, could you please stop trying to appease her? Did she get approval to take the kids out of state permanently? I would suggest seeing a lawyer to determine what you can and can't do. You will know where you stand by having a lawyer (the best you can afford). I know for one thing, she needed permission to take the kids out of state at any time, so seek help. It's over, but you must be the best dad you can be. As she stated, she never apologises to people, and what she says is disrespectful a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 02:07 AM |
| 7 | Someone Lie To MeTrust me, there is a special someone out there for everyone with a good heart look. I was disabled; I couldn't walk, and the love of my life found me; we had 18 beautiful years until I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's, but she taught me to love and care again, Hang in there, and if you are genuine and honest, I'm sure you will have a wonderful, loving life | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 01:07 AM |
| 2 | Someone Lie To MeLook, trust me, in around a year or so, you will start to come out of this glum place, your STBX. Put yourself in, and if you're open-hearted, you can find someone special who will fill your life with love, so hang in. There is the long game you're playing; you will get there as you're not the first or the last that will play this insidious game the cheaters like to play. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 01:00 AM |
| 21 | I don’t know why I did it. I just did.I'm always amazed at everyone who comes here, and I'm sorry for everyone. We are in a club, not a great club, but a club nonetheless, a club of the cheated in most cases but ultimately a devoted club. I can tell you you're not alone and won't be the last in this club. You'll have good and bad days but are in denial at the start. Then comes the anger, hurt, and sorrow, and you think you will never be happy again. Well, that's not entirely true; you'll be hurting for a while. Everyone is different… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 12:54 AM |
| 3 | ConfusionMove on as if that's what she wanted. Then move on. If she doesn't file, then leave it and live your life. I have a sneaky suspicion that she had an affair, which is influencing her decision. I have seen this often, but it's up to you to decide. Don't ever be plan B. That only shows utter disrespect. Ultimately, you must decide, but please find out what's happening. Think carefully; she can do it again if she does it once. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/24 01:55 PM |
| 2 | Pretty sure my ex-wife's AP is lying to get my 10-year-old son in trouble."It's true that the guys are targeting OP. If you have to go there, make sure you have someone with you or record the whole thing. Don't go inside the house, stay outside and record. If they want to drop something off, tell them it seems we can't get things right and ask them to come to us instead." | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 04:24 AM |
| 9 | Pretty sure my ex-wife's AP is lying to get my 10-year-old son in trouble.I understand completely. If you look at YouTube, you'll see that many police officers are behaving in ways they shouldn't. I think it's a culture that's ingrained in people with authority. I would suggest recording all interactions with them. People in authority tend to lie, as many have found out. It's sad that your ex is taking the side of the other person without asking you what happened. But I can see problems for your ex because the other person is displaying controlling behaviour, and it c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 03:05 AM |
| 1 | The reason I don't file for a divorce.That's okay if you want to talk. If you do, just DM me and we'll see if I can provide you with something useful or understandable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/24 04:19 AM |
| 6 | Give in to divorce?I'm sorry to say this, but if your wife wants a divorce, she might be involved with someone else or at least emotionally, and she may be gearing up to leave and find a new place, or she might ask you to leave. You should see a good lawyer right away to understand your rights before she serves you with divorce papers. You can have the papers ready, but you may not need to use them if you can work things out. I recommend reading "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" and learning about 180 and Grey Rockin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 01:15 AM |
| 7 | Fuck you. I'm still standing.I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time. It seems like entitlement is becoming more common, causing a lot of divorces. However, I'm happy that you're still standing strong and that you have your kids with you. I can relate to your situation as my ex left me for my best friend, leaving me to raise our two young sons. Fortunately, my sons stood by me and have little contact with her now. They are 40 and 35 years old, and I always tell them to love and respect themselves and others. I wish… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 12:56 AM |
| 1 | The reason I don't file for a divorce.I remember clearly what I said. If you want to continue living the way you are, go for it. I was talking about potential future events, but ultimately, the decisions are yours to make. Trust me, time flies by. I got divorced when I was in my early 40s, and now I'm 70. Time really does move quickly, and you have to make the right decisions. But I want to make it clear that my memory is as sharp as ever. We never had a single fight or exchange of angry words. We had disagreements, but we always ta… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 01:28 PM |
| 2 | The reason I don't file for a divorce.Well, if that's what you want, then go for it, BUT:- OK, what would make you divorce? Her going out and staying out? Bringing new BF around? She starts to run you down innocently? Starts spending more of your money? Just at what point do you think you'll leave, as the longer you're in, the more you'll be hit when you divorce? As sure as S@#$, you're going to get divorced because I was doing g that just staying for my sons; at what point do you stop putting up with disrespect or the lack of feeli… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 11:55 AM |
| 2 | The First Night without at the Kids....It's tough, but remember to give all your love to the kids when they are with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 02:53 PM |
| 2 | Our son had cancer, we are over now.I sincerely apologise for what you've been through, especially for your son's sake. I understand that you're considering taking your ex back, but it might not be the best decision after all the disrespect she has shown you. Statistically, the chances of a separated couple reuniting successfully is only around 10% to 15%, and the likelihood of staying together in the long run is even lower, at 6%. It's essential to focus on moving forward and finding someone who will appreciate and love you and y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/24 05:27 AM |
| 1 | The nightmare never ends. Divorce finalized. Custody finalized.??? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 06:51 PM |
| 1 | AdulteryIt's okay, what I said must be close to the truth because someone has downvoted me. I just told my story, so why would that cause anger or dislike in anyone unless it's close to the truth, or they think it's always the male's fault in anything. If you can't or don't want to be in a marriage, get out first, as sneaking around and chatting is just showing disrespect. But, as I said, that's my opinion and we are all allowed to have an opinion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 05:35 PM |
| 8 | How is it fair that your wife’s financial irresponsibility becomes your burden, but your financial responsibility becomes her entitlement?No, that was just her spending. It was my fault; I should have been more studious in watching what she spent, but you live and learn. It was cars and trips, clothes, etc., but it shows the depth that people can be hurtful, She ran of with my best friend, so how far she was narcissistic | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 12:23 PM |
| 3 | How is it fair that your wife’s financial irresponsibility becomes your burden, but your financial responsibility becomes her entitlement?The debt amounted to over $500,000, which took me years to pay off. Even after settling the debt, I continued to receive threatening mail for another two years, demanding more money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 10:45 AM |
| -2 | Adultery"Accomplished women never settle for less. They always strive for a better life. I have a sister who has done this four times. She started off with someone who had little ambition and now she is with a well-known musician. I have seen this happen many times." | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 07:18 AM |
| 2 | Knew it was coming...If it's less, then that will be great, but still, brother, do your best, and that's all you can do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 07:09 AM |
| 2 | Knew it was coming...I agree with you on keeping them away from the BS but never lying to them as they are more intelligent than people realize. Keep them calm but tailor your approach to their age and understanding. Also, never speak negatively about your ex in front of the kids and give them all the love and understanding you can so they will see who was there for them. I lost my two sons for around 12 years until they turned 18. Then they started to see me again and they knew what was going on. They stopped seein… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 04:48 AM |
| 2 | Knew it was coming...It's true that good government depends on the people. When a family breaks up, the community bears the costs of court buildings, judges and staff wages, as well as the cost of dealing with juvenile delinquency. Making it harder to break up a marriage might make people think twice before they waste time and resources and reduce the ongoing expenses that come from failed marriages affecting the parents and their kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 02:45 AM |
| 2 | Knew it was coming...I'm thankful for your efforts in finding and reading those publications. They will help you understand the epidemic of cheating and the utter disrespect for people's relationships. I don't believe we will progress if people continue to think they can do anything they want, especially when it comes to honoring their wedding vows. Perhaps the government should consider making wedding vows a legally binding contract with consequences for breaking them. This could potentially help address the issue. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 01:55 AM |
| 7 | Knew it was coming...I believe that people often don't uphold their marriage vows. That's why I think it's important for people to have strong prenuptial agreements and to be knowledgeable about concepts like "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," "Doing the 180," and "Grey Rocking." Even with these measures in place, I'm afraid that dishonesty will always be a part of marriage. However, we can strive for change by seeking support from communities like this Reddit page and advocating for fairer family laws that provide unb… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 12:45 AM |
| 7 | The nightmare never ends. Divorce finalized. Custody finalized.Please remember the following text: "You're not the first male to be influenced by a judge with feminist leanings; there was one I don't remember under the state, but she was forced to resign over the handling of a division of assets. So, I would suggest finding out if you could appeal her judgment, get your case reviewed, and, if possible, request a change of judge. It's up to you, but I recommend discussing it with your legal team or finding a better team if you're not satisfied. As I said, th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 12:17 PM |
| 3 | I am about to do it and I am very anxiousI'm so sorry that you're going through this, but I want to assure you that you're not alone. Many others have faced similar challenges and come out stronger in the end, so please try not to worry too much. I understand that change can be difficult, but it's definitely something you can handle. I went through a similar experience over 27 years ago, even though I was also dealing with a disability. I can relate to your struggles, although my situation involved some family complications. Despite ev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 09:00 AM |
| 3 | Should I attend daughter's birthday party if ex brings her new boyfriend, or just have a separate one?I understand that you're going through a tough time, like many dads in your situation. It's unfortunate that some people don't honor their marriage vows. When it comes to your kids' birthday party, you should first check if it's your scheduled day to have them. If it is, then you should communicate with your ex that she can have her own party on her day. However, if it's your ex's day, it might be best to not attend the party, especially if the pain is still fresh. You don't want to risk losing … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 06:11 AM |
| 1 | Ex wife and her “family meeting” bull.I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this situation. My ex used to pull similar stunts, so I understand how frustrating it can be. I suggest seeking legal advice to make sure you're protected. If your ex is violating your co-parenting agreement, take legal action. Keep a record of every incident, including calling the police when necessary. Check out co-parenting apps that are recognized by the court in your area. Using these apps can help keep communication about the kids organized and do… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 04:14 AM |
| 5 | HopeI always advise people going through a divorce to have someone with them or record their conversations because it's unfortunately common for exes to try everything, including lying and getting a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). It's a pity to see how far some people will go to get more than they are legally entitled to. However, it's great to hear cases like yours, OP, as it gives hope to those going through a difficult divorce. Thank you for sharing your remarkable story of coming through and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/24 12:28 AM |
| 1 | DatingI started dating around two years after my D-day; I think you will find they will be all over the place on this, as everyone is different. Some will return to the dating scene, and others will never date again. It's very similar to the people. Everyone is different, so you'll likely find it valid when dating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 02:43 PM |
| 3 | Getting out there…Yes, I have even thow it was over 27 years ago. I don't put up with any BS basically from anyone. That is how I am now | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 12:15 AM |
| 3 | She impulsively moves into her apartment todayI've read your previous post and am sorry you're going through this tough situation. It's uUnfortunately,ers seem to follow the same pattern repeatedly. It's important to share what's happening so that she can't manipulate people, family, and friends. You should focus on seeking individual ccounsellingto work on yourself because you can't change her behaviour. ILivingfor your kids and pprovidingthem with love and honesty. is essential. Avoid speaking negatively about her in front of them, as thi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 06:17 PM |
| 1 | How longIt's like they say: how long is a piece of string? It can be short; in others, it takes time, and everyone is different. For example, my day was over 27 years ago, and I still get bad times, but there are still no offers. But you have to do the hard work as getting in shape, talking to family and friends, and I think in your case you need to see a counsellor, as you seem to be stuck on the fact she is still with you unless she's there with you she's not ok, she was checked out months before she … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 08:39 AM |
| 1 | Emotional bluntingI replied to your request | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 12:23 AM |
| 1 | Emotional bluntingI'm so sorry. It's not a good Reddit group, and the people here are usually in pain and looking for a friendly ear and a helping word or two. You sound almost like my marriage. I, too, was forced or, more rightly, pressured by social expectations at that time. She wanted to get pregnant, and as I found out later, she just wanted my money. She was a narcissistic person from the day we got married, showing no affection physically or emotionally. Yes, I had red flags I missed or overlooked. As I sa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 12:19 AM |
| 2 | Emotional bluntingI'm so sorry you're in this situation. No one deserves to be in a marriage they don't want to be in. My marriage was like yours: my ex got pregnant, as I found out later, to get my money. She thought the world owed her an easy life. I married her out of doing the right thing, more correctly, from social expectations. I overlooked the red flags until the night of our marriage when she said that there was no more physical or emotional love. But that was okay as I had my sons, but you should never … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 11:49 PM |
| 3 | Emotional bluntingThank you, I appreciate your words. Life has been challenging, but then again, life is not easy. We have to work at it all the time. I hope you're doing okay. This isn't the best Reddit group, so I hope you're having a good day or night. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 09:49 PM |
| 7 | Emotional bluntingI understand what you're going through. I was in a similar situation to your combative wife, with no affection, both physical and emotional, as well as two young boys. She ran away with my best friend at the time. Later, she returned and took the boys and everything. After being divorced for two years, I met the love of my life. We had 16 beautiful years together until I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's seven years ago. Since then, I haven't found anyone, but I'm content to have known an ange… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 10:39 AM |
| 1 | Pretrial orderLook, it's a fate of complee at the omens. The best thing to do is talk with your lawyer, that's why you have them, and don't do anything stupid. Make sure you document all your interactions with the EX, | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 01:23 AM |
| 1 | DecisionOK, fair enough, but that is usually a red flag when the affection stops | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 09:36 AM |
| 1 | DecisionIt is a Phisical Affair and an Emotional Affair | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 09:33 AM |
| 1 | DecisionPhysical affair and an Emotional affair | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 09:32 AM |
| 2 | DecisionThat's good, but give them a read, and it provides a perspective into the divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 09:18 AM |
| 2 | DecisionI will say she's got a PA, if not an EA, as that's strange, especially at your age and only one kid. If I were you, ask, am I happy???? If I do not get out. See a lawyer first to determine what you want to do if she isn't working. It's going to hurt you considerably with the finances. Also, I would read "Leave a cheater to gain a life." "Doing the 180" "Grey Rocking" You can find them on the Web. There is a good reference material How do you approach things in the divorce? And don't hit the Alco… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 08:52 AM |
| 2 | 20 years of marriage suddenly ending. I thought we were ok. Anyone been through this? Two kids. Feel like my life is over.I think you have to have good suggestions, but that's up to you to use or dismiss, but think about them as they have been where you are. One or two suggestions from me: read "Leave a cheater to gain a life." Doing the 180 Grey Rocking You can find them on the Web. Trust us when we say your wife is not the one you married. OK, she, this new modern independent, you can't tell me what I can or can't do; it's my body. I can do what I like. OK, there are the new catchphrases you're going to here, Rea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 06:09 AM |
| 4 | Help me I'm brokenOkay, here's the deal: Are you getting a divorce? Yes or no. If it's yes, you're not the first and certainly not the last. You should have done some digging if you suspected her of cheating, but that was in the past. Get yourself a lawyer, as she most likely will and find out what you're up against. If you get this part wrong, you could lose big time - retirement, wages, and access to your kids. Then go read "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." I am doing the 180. Grey Rocking. You can find all of th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 05:38 AM |
| 8 | I won my parental alienation caseI am so happy for you. It's really sad when an ex does things like that. The kids get brainwashed by the parent they live with, and it takes time and lots of love to undo what that parent has done and said. I went through something similar. I couldn't see my sons for over seven years until they turned 18. It's tough, but I genuinely hope you can get them back quickly and show them that you haven't changed. You're still their dad. I suggest that you don't speak negatively about their mother in th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 12:15 AM |
| 9 | I miss her. I f*cked everything up and just want my family back 2 years post divorceI recommend counselling for you and your wife if you believe it's true. It would be a significant first step. However, it will require time and effort. I suggest starting to exercise and focusing on your well-being. If you can convince your ex to attend counselling, be prepared for hurtful things to be said. It's essential to be honest. You care for your wife; I'm sure she will express her feelings. However, as long as you're truthful, it will be worthwhile. Sending flowers and a card with a sin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 01:04 PM |
| 3 | Serving papers, any advice?That is so true. He shouldn't leave the house if no kids are involved, but that is his choice. We can only advise him, and then it's up to him to use it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 02:46 AM |
| 5 | Serving papers, any advice?"Please remember that if you have children, it is not advisable to leave as it may be viewed unfavorably in court. Leaving while you have kids can be seen as abandoning them, and it could work against you in legal proceedings." | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 01:22 AM |
| 5 | Serving papers, any advice?I agree with other Redditors: gather all your belongings and take what you need. Are you listed on the lease or as an owner? She can't force you to move out if you're on the papers and you pay off the house. You can ask her to leave if the house is in your name and not hers. Please do not engage in conversations or meetings with her unless you record, videotape, or have witnesses present. Even a meeting between just partners can lead to her obtaining a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). Even if … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 12:45 AM |
| 1 | Would it make me bad?I'm delighted to hear that you found my suggestions helpful. I'm sorry that you have to read that book; nobody deserves to read it. However, it's a good idea to focus on your divorce and not get hurt whenever a cheater feels they didn't get what they deserved. I hope you also had the chance to read the other materials, as they will help you deal with those who keep trying to make things harder for you. Please let me know your thoughts once you've finished reading everything. I'd love to hear if … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 12:04 AM |
| 1 | Would it make me bad?I would look up doing "the 180," And "Grey Rocking," as well Read "Leave a cheater gain a life," and you can find them on the Web. They will give you insights into how to handle her in the future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 04:50 PM |
| 2 | Would it make me bad?I would be careful not to play it in the courthouse as if you need to return. The judge may remember they are good at remembering. I would play it when you both finish packing your things at the house. Take care of it; you don't want to spend time in jail. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 04:46 PM |
| 2 | Healing?Sure, here is the revised text: I went through a tough divorce over 27 years ago, and it affected me. However, two years later, I met someone new, and we were together for around 16 years. She helped me heal, and we never had any arguments. Unfortunately, I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's around seven years ago. Despite dealing with a difficult situation, I believe finding love again and taking the necessary precautions is possible. I recommend considering a prenuptial agreement to protect b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 04:23 PM |
| 5 | Cheater STBXW is suddenly being nice to me 4 months after divorce filing 6 months after DDayPlease remember the following advice: I would suggest being careful, as she likely thinks she has you. Make sure you see your lawyer if you have one. I would recommend getting a co-parenting app if applicable in your state. It's where you can organise the kids' visits and anything to do with the kids, such as doctors' appointments, sports, homestays, etc. In that way, you don't need to interact with her, and everything is admissible in court that is written in the app. Also, read "Leave a Cheate… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 04:08 AM |
| 3 | Just got the divorce papers sent to me. Really is hitting hard. How to cope?I'm really sorry that you're going through this tough time. Divorce is never easy, and it will take time for the pain to lessen. You don't have to go through this alone, especially if you have kids. I recommend reading "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." It offers some valuable insights that may help you. It's available on the Web. Keeping your mind occupied and staying active can also help. It's important to let your family and friends know what's going on; they can provide support and guidance. Yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 01:59 AM |
| 7 | My wife wants a divorceI agree with the others who responded to you and that your STBXW has a PA. If not that, then an EA, you can't do much about that as if you live in a no-fail state, then that won't matter BUT see a lawyer right now; find the best one you can get, trust me, it will help. Then follow what they say: I understand what you are going through, trust me, but forget about anything before, ok? It's all from the time she asked for the divorce. She has more than likely been in the affair, which doesn't matte… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 01:47 AM |
| 2 | Pack it up and sneak out todayI understand exactly how you feel. I was in a long-term marriage with a selfish person. There was no intimacy for 16 years, and she would scold me at every opportunity. I realised I needed to leave because all the fighting affected my sons. I planned to go on a weekend when she was away, but she changed her mind at the last moment and stayed. Unbeknownst to me, she had planned to run away with my best friend, leaving me with my two young sons, aged around 4 and 7. She returned around seven month… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 09:29 AM |
| 1 | I’m struggling. Separated wife is guilt tripping me. Am I crazy for still caring about her? Doubting myself for wanting a divorce.That's good. As I said, you sound like you have this under control, and I hope it goes well for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 06:37 AM |
| 4 | I’m struggling. Separated wife is guilt tripping me. Am I crazy for still caring about her? Doubting myself for wanting a divorce.It's not unusual to experience a whirlwind of emotions during such a time. It's particularly challenging to discover that your wife is cheating. I recommend seeking legal advice and researching strategies such as "the 180" and the concept of "Grey Rocking."Additionally, I suggest reading "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." These resources can be found online. Now, if kids are involved, When co-parenting, use court-approved apps for communication and coordination, as the information stored on these a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 05:57 AM |
| 1 | Realistically, can a judge require one party to address their mental health/sobriety?Well, you get all the emergence you can and bring it to your lawyer's attention or bring it up with the judge. I hope you can do something about it, as it sounds like she has a problem with alcohol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 12:51 AM |
| 2 | Realistically, can a judge require one party to address their mental health/sobriety?If you had proof that your XW is drinking and could be a danger to the kids, I'm sure the judge would be interested in hearing that, but bring it up with your lawyer. Has she ever been in trouble with the police for her drinking? That would help as well. Good luck, and I hope you can also make it out of this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 12:27 AM |
| 4 | Options HelpGet a lawyer and a good one if you don't have one | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 12:32 AM |
| 2 | Divorce likelyHey, take a moment to ask yourself if you can continue living with her. If the answer isn't a resounding "yes," then it might be time to move on and focus on your own life. I have a strong feeling that your wife might be having an emotional affair, if not a physical one. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you are happy and content in your marriage. Remember, you only have one life, and time flies by, so don't let it go to waste. If you decide to get a divorce, make sure to find a good … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 12:30 AM |
| 6 | Small victory for me"Any victory is a victory. Keep doing what you're doing, and you will get through this. And when you need a kind ear, just come back, as I'm here. You will find one here, as everyone is going through what you are now. Take care and good luck." | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 09:37 PM |
| 9 | I still get moments of rageYes, that's always a problem, but you will overcome it slowly. It does take time. I have been divorced for over 27 years, and I still have my bad days. But it does get better. I don't think you truly get over those feelings, but they become less intense, as I don't think you get over everything that happens in the dissolution of the marriage. Remember that you can always come here, as everyone has been through this. I'm sure you will get any questions answered. I genuinely hope you get over this… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 08:28 PM |
| 8 | Letting goI'm so so sorry you're here, and yes, your mind goes through many stages, and then go's and dose it again and again. So let me share a story from about 40 years ago. A Young Man, He married a selfish woman who left him for his friend, leaving him with his two very young sons. He lost everything in the divorce - the house, money, and most painfully, he lost custody of the boys. She mistreated them to the extent that one of the boys still suffers from depression today. However, the boys loved thei… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 04:47 PM |
| 1 | Weird feeling of not caring, but still conditioned to think about itI think what you're saying is you have a conditional dependency on her. It happens over the years, and the longer you're together, the stronger it gets, like when you let your partner do things for you, like buying clothes and toiletries, things you used to do for yourself. It takes time to undo that condition, but it's not uncommon. I still have a little better 27 years, so don't think you're strange or anything else; just be aware of it, but you will be ok. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 10:04 AM |
| 1 | Divorce Philosophy - Initial Shock and AcceptanceThank you for the vote of confidence. It means a lot to me. I will always strive to help people in this trustworthy place, as I abhor dishonest cheaters who break up families for their own selfish desires. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 12:42 PM |
| 2 | It has begun.Remember to keep in mind the following information: If you are going through a challenging situation like this, it's advisable not to leave your residence if your name is on the property. Doing so could affect your visitation rights with your children. It's essential to stay in the house if your name is listed on the property. I recommend familiarising yourself with "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," available online. Also, look into "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking" to gain insight into managing … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 03:18 AM |
| 1 | Divorce Philosophy - Initial Shock and AcceptanceThank you, as I said its just a simple overview nothing more | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 02:15 AM |
| 1 | No contact with kids 50/50I don't know if co-parenting apps are a thing where you live, but in some states, they are accepted by the courts. I recommend that you contact your lawyer or family court to find out if they use these apps. With these apps, you can make parenting arrangements without having to directly communicate with your ex. Everything communicated through the app is considered legal. If you have difficulties with your ex, I would suggest using these apps if they are available to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 12:12 AM |
| 3 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriageCertainly! Here's the revised text for clarity and correctness: "I appreciate your warm words. It all worked out. She lied to my sons, and when they became adults, they found out about her lies. I never spoke negatively about her when the boys were with me. Now, they don't have much to do with her. I try to mend bridges for them, but they just can't get over the lies she told them when they were young. Thank you once again." | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 12:26 PM |
| 2 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriageThank you. It happened a long time ago. As I mentioned, I had terrible days, but I'm glad I'm out of her narcissistic ways. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 12:12 PM |
| 3 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriage"It's okay. I just wanted to let you know that you will get through this. Get yourself a good lawyer, and stay positive. It sucks that you did what you did for her, and she treated you the way she did. Learn from it and remember it for next time, if there is. Live a great life." | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 12:07 PM |
| 12 | How pissed off should I be?"You are correct in thinking. They seek help from friends or lawyers and genuinely try to keep you off balance, making you believe there is a mutual agreement when, in fact, they are seeking to maximise their gain." | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 07:10 AM |
| 1 | Divorce Philosophy - Initial Shock and AcceptancePlease keep in mind the following points: Men and women may have different ways of thinking: 1. Women often focus on the future. 2. They aim for progress and a better lifestyle and generally don't dwell on the past, although they can sometimes be deceived. 3. Women are often mentally prepared for divorce 6 to 8 months before men, and when they express unhappiness, they may already have plans and a destination in mind. It may feel like going from a basic model to a luxury sports car overnight or … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 07:03 AM |
| 13 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriageI completely understand the situation. I lost over $500,000.00 to my ex, and it sucks. However, try to see it this way: you got out of it early. I spent 17 years with my ex and ended up losing the house, car, kids and investments. I had all of that before I got married to her, but she ended up getting everything. It's a terrible situation, but I try to look at my glass as half full rather than half empty. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. It will pass with time, although everyone is d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 12:19 AM |
| -1 | Anyone else think about "switching teams"?I think I would at least give it a go, as my Ex did a number on me | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/24 02:56 AM |
| 9 | I talk a tough gameI believe people are saying on this page that when they offer advice, they share what they have learned from their own experiences. The advice is usually valuable because it comes from the collective wisdom of many people over many years of dealing with breakups. For example, when my DDay (discovery day of infidelity) happened over 27 years ago, there was no Reddit, no computers, no internet as we know it today, and no mobile phones. If someone found out about cheating, it was usually by acciden… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 04:21 PM |
| 9 | Reality.No, they don't. She's gone, and I'm going to give you a hint ? Get a good lawyer right away if you want to keep most of what you have. Trust me, it may even be too late. Women are about 6 months ahead of males. She's gone. I would guess she has a PA if not an EA at least, So start moving when they say they want out they are way gone do not Beg, ever. I suggest you read, Leave a cheater, gain a life, Doing the 180, And, Great Rocking These publications will save you on how to move forward, she is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/24 07:41 AM |
| 2 | Cackle of hens…(borrowed that term from another’s post)I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this tough time. If your name is on the property, it's essential to stay in the residence to protect your visitation rights with your children. I'm puzzled by the situation, but it's crucial to remain in the house if your name is listed on the property. I suggest looking into "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" online and learning about "Doing the 180" and "Grey Rocking" to manage your divorce more effectively. It's essential to hire a reputable attorney an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/24 03:54 AM |
| 2 | It's disheartening, but it seems that most affairs happen between colleagues. The corporate environment has strained and broken many marriages. Is it really unreasonable for a man in an already rocky marriage to feel uneasy about his wife starting a new job?You're not that far from the truth if you watch Tictoc. There are a lot of women who divorce an excellent man just because they want a freezer lifestyle, or they listen to their toxic friends or workmates, who tell them that they can do better. There are pages and pages for these women on Tictoc, YouTube, etc., who leave good men, and once they have been pumped and dumped a few times. Usually, around that thirty-year-old mark, they want to get back to their husband and find out they moved on, re… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 03:31 AM |
| 7 | It's disheartening, but it seems that most affairs happen between colleagues. The corporate environment has strained and broken many marriages. Is it really unreasonable for a man in an already rocky marriage to feel uneasy about his wife starting a new job?"Many women look forward and consistently move up, never down, but it shows their mercenary attraction to wealth and power. But never lose sight of the lady who is there for her family and partner, who lives for that family love. I know some will laugh at me, but it happens. I divorced over 27 years ago when she ran off with one of my friends. I met her two years later, and we have been together for around 16 years. I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's around seven years ago. She was an angel s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 01:41 AM |
| 2 | Learning to move onLook, I'm so sorry for you, but you're not Robinson Curoso on this; it's a shitty deal, but by reading what you said, I think she's gone. I would guess she has someone else; I hate saying that, but emails are usually 6 to 10 months ahead of you. I have to think about when she started to change, like the red flags like her phone being an extension of her hand, stopping talking on it every time you entered the room, when she got cold towards you, when whatever you didn't help. ETC:- You get my dri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 01:28 AM |
| 9 | Wife Threatened DivorceYou should not trust anyone on her side, and then you should see a lawyer, as you should know the rules. Do not leave the house if your names are on the deeds. Then they can't do a finger but record all your interactions with your wife and her mother. I feel like they are setting you up, but that's me. Read, leave a cheater, gain a life. And doing the 180, You can find them online and trust your gut, but see the lawyer first, it's a shitty deal, but you're not the first and won't be the last. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 08:38 PM |
| 2 | What was your final straw?Yes, but she was just after my money, and my friend was a wealthy man, so I guess she showed her true self. But there was a karma train in this story: my friend, who was married, ended up losing half of his money to his wife in a divorce. A few years later, he fell out of a tree, breaking his back, and had to go into a nursing home. They never got married, so she got nothing. As I said in the last post, there was a bit of karma. She married another guy, and my sons tell me she's doing the same t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 07:33 PM |
| 2 | What was your final straw?You're so right. She did, and I was told the other day she is doing it again with her latest husband. She has had a few BF's over the years, but she did the same thing she did to her first husband as she did to me. I know it's a long story. I was told not to marry her, but she was pregnant, and I did the honourable thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 07:21 PM |
| 9 | Wife says to me - I think we should split upHere is the clearer text: We understand your situation. It will be challenging, but if you approach it carefully, you should be able to come through reasonably well. Seek advice from knowledgeable people, and consult with a good lawyer to protect yourself. It's essential to keep as much as you can. In the military, it's crucial to gather information about the battlefield. It's important not to let her know what you're doing. You should also inform the group about what's happening, as we are here… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 09:26 AM |
| 7 | What was your final straw?When she ran off with a friend of mine, | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 08:27 AM |
| 11 | Is your new girlfriend way better than your ex wife?Thank you. All I want to let people know is that even though you may be in a dark place, there's always light at the end of the tunnel | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 11:51 PM |
| 1 | Is your new girlfriend way better than your ex wife????? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 10:19 PM |
| 51 | Is your new girlfriend way better than your ex wife?When my ex ran off with my best friend, leaving me alone with my two small sons, I found myself on my own for about two years. During that time, I focused on my work and caring for my sons, hardly going out. Then, I met the love of my life while she was on holiday from the USA. At first, I thought it would only be a holiday fling, considering her profession as a doctor and her need to return home. This realisation saddened me, but I understood the situation and was grateful for my time with her.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 09:38 PM |
| 3 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely.Well, I am thinking ahead 😆 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 02:31 AM |
| 2 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely."It's okay. I want people to know that there can be a life after divorce. I'm sorry for all this conflict, especially when women claim it's their body and they can do whatever they want after getting married and making wedding vows in front of family and friends." | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 01:49 AM |
| 3 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely.I'm sorry if you or anyone else is going through this. You're right; you will survive and become a better person. You will eventually find that special someone or something that will make you whole again. I know this because it happened to me. The love of my life found me two years after my divorce and pulled me out of a dark place. She loved me and my sons like her own. We were together for 16 years until I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's about seven years ago. So, you see, it can happen. H… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 12:37 AM |
| 3 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely.I'm genuinely sorry for anyone going through a court ordeal. I firmly believe that changes must be made to create a more equal system. It's unfair that people always assume children are better off with these. In reality, my sons were at greater risk with their mother, who later left me for my best friend, leaving me to care for my two sons. She even kept the child support money, leaving me struggling to feed my sons for six months. I survived on coffee and whatever leftovers the boys didn't eat.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 12:21 AM |
| 3 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely."You are so right. As they say, it takes two to tango, but there are also depths to that. Some are equals, others are more than others, and some are less. As long as you can see where you stand, you can start healing." | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 05:39 PM |
| 3 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely.You are so correct on that. It may be even one in 100 billion in my case. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 05:31 PM |
| 1 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely.That is so true | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 05:28 PM |
| 7 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely."It's so true. In addition, it's important to hire the best lawyer you can afford. This decision will impact your 401k, retirement, alimony, and child support, and could have long-term financial consequences for up to around 18 years. It's crucial to secure legal representation as quickly as possible. Trust me on this: I lost over half a million dollars during my divorce. Don't let that happen to you." | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 03:37 PM |
| 0 | Just wanted to say it out loud"Please remember the following: If your wife took the kids out of state without your consent and the court's approval, it's important to involve the police. It's also a good idea to consider obtaining a restraining order or a Temporary Protective Order (TPO). These legal steps can help in your custody battle, which may be challenging. If your wife's behaviour can be proven problematic, it may increase your chances of gaining custody. I wish you good luck and hope you succeed in getting custody o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/24 01:59 AM |
| 17 | Am I the only one that finds it hard to trust women with my feelings ever again?I remarried around five years after my first marriage ended. The love of my life helped me through a very dark time and supported me and my sons, who were abandoned by my ex when she left me for a friend. She taught me how to love and trust again. Unfortunately, I lost her seven years ago to early-onset Alzheimer's. I believe there are faithful and loving people out there, so my advice is not to close yourself off to love but to be cautious and take your time getting to know someone. Protecting … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 04:15 PM |
| 16 | Am I the only one that finds it hard to trust women with my feelings ever again?I don't think you are Robinson Crusoe here. I feel most men feel let down and find it hard to trust, which, in a way, is good, as that means they will likely take a longer time to consider new partners. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 03:27 PM |
| 3 | I’m done!!!!!! With the spousal support!!!Congrats, now go live your life and forget about the ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 11:10 AM |
| 11 | What are some of the most important lessons you've learned from your divorce that you wish you could share with younger men facing similar situations?I need to make sure to remember the following text: "They should never pander to a girlfriend. It's interesting how many men think of the traditional scenario where you get married, settle down, have kids, and live happily ever after. However, that's not how life works these days. Modern women may initially uphold their wedding vows, but after many years, typically in their 30s, they can get influenced by a younger, successful person, and things can go off track. This can be observed in various … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 07:29 PM |
| 7 | Do you regret getting divorced?"Never," my EX was a narcissistic, hateful person towards me and my sons, so no, I do not regret divorcing her one bit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 02:07 PM |
| 4 | What should I be feeling right now?"As long as you can say you have tried all you could, let her go. You will never know why she's like that, as they usually don't know. Move on and find that special someone who will make you happy and will love you for you." | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 03:31 AM |
| 3 | Present your self as the prize fellas👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 03:49 AM |
| 3 | Present your self as the prize fellasYou're absolutely right. Many males have been slow to understand this; while some have, most young males haven't. I'm thrilled you posted this, and I hope the men on this Reddit read your post. I came to the same realisation a long time ago. I used to give in at the drop of a hat, but after my divorce, I toughened up. Now, I won't tolerate anything people, especially females, try to impose on me. I want to commend you for your post. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 02:03 AM |
| 6 | Cheating, infidelity, deceit.That's great and I know you will be ok, as I think you have this and I hope that you get everything you want and need as I like you I don't worry about much I live my life the way I want to and love my sons. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 01:31 AM |
| 7 | Cheating, infidelity, deceit.I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can empathise with what you're going through because my marriage lasted 16 years and ended with my wife leaving me for another man. We have two sons, and I've had to adjust to being a single father. Remember that you're over the hard part, and it gets better from here. You'll have to work out your living arrangement now that she has a new partner. You need to move on and find that special someone or something you will spend your life with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 12:41 AM |
| 4 | After a failed marriage and seeing vows broken out of anger, I struggle to see the benefit of marriage. It seems many women's loyalty is conditional, depending on their options and the state of the relationship.I do think you're mistaken, but I'm sure I or anyone else could never change your mind on this; I hope you have a life that's without a divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 05:26 AM |
| 3 | After a failed marriage and seeing vows broken out of anger, I struggle to see the benefit of marriage. It seems many women's loyalty is conditional, depending on their options and the state of the relationship.You're mistaken. I don't think it's possible to believe you said what you said. OP is correct in what he said, as the latest statistics are saying women are initiating infidelity in modern marriages. When someone, especially females, does it for their gain - for example, better prospects than their present partner - or they listen to their toxic friends and think they are entitled to disrespect their relationship. If you have been through a divorce, you would know that what you said is just a lo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 04:42 AM |
| 5 | Using email to sustain the disrespectI'm sorry that you're going through this. It seems like the situation is often the same in most cases. It's a shame these people can't recognise their behaviour and use that negative energy to work on their flaws and improve themselves. If they did, they would probably feel more at peace. Instead, they come from a toxic place of self-entitlement, possibly encouraged by their self-absorbed friends who engage in similar behaviour and think it's a sign of strength. This shows their narrow-minded vi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 01:35 AM |
| 2 | Just a thought… It’s shocking how Promiscuous women become during/after the divorce proceedings… in almost all cases though, I’ve seen it end badly for them. Anyone else notice this pattern?That's so true. They seem to think it will hurt their EX, and if the EX has his head in the right place, it just lowers their already low expectations of her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 01:03 AM |
| 7 | I just wonder whether the unfortunate calamity of divorce unlocked some superman powers or traits within you, O fellow divorced men!"Yes, it did. What made me confident was the love of my life. I met her two years after my divorce. We were together until seven years ago when I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's. I can never thank her enough for the love and support she gave me and my two sons after my ex ran off with my best friend." | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 01:13 AM |
| 8 | What are the top things that you don’t missThe constant yelling, put-downs, and criticism became especially bitter after she ran off with my best friend at the time. They used the bitterness to justify their actions and to feel right when they put me down. While having their AP | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/24 02:38 PM |
| 1 | It's INSANE that even in male-dominated forums, the shortcomings of modern femininity, like a lack of accountability and toxicity towards men, are often still blamed on men. This seems to be one of the few places where such issues can logically be discussed..I remember the following message: "I know my message was concerning, as I have had negative experiences with toxic females before. I was worried that this might be a similar situation. It seems like there is a group of toxic females dominating the conversation. They talk about male toxicity and seem to enjoy the attention they get from the news and social media. They believe it's acceptable for them to sleep with whomever they want, while their male partners are expected to accept it. They also … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 02:49 PM |
| 2 | The divorce was my fault and I miss her.Op, are you my doppelganger? Indeed, your life mirrors mine, with just a bit of difference; I had 16 years with a nasasisitc wife who I tried to do everything to please; my excuse was I was young and never thought there were people like her. I bought her a house with my money; she didn't put a cent into it; she even stopped having Sex with me, saying she wanted to keep it unique, meaning she didn't have it with me but my best friend at that time, after making me feel like it was all my falt, she… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 01:00 AM |
| 1 | The divorce was my fault and I miss her.Op, are you my doppelganger? Indeed, your life mirrors mine, with just a bit of difference; I had 16 years with a nasasisitc wife who I tried to do everything to please; my excuse was I was young and never thought there were people like her. I bought her a house with my money; she didn't put a cent into it; she even stopped having Sex with me, saying she wanted to keep it unique, meaning she didn't have it with me but my best friend at that time, after making me feel like it was all my falt, she… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 12:55 AM |
| 1 | Wife started dating an older man as soon as she said, "I want a divorce"It's OK. Your so-to-be ex-wife more than likely has been seeing him for some time, as women don't just do anything without working things out first. I would say it's been a few months, if not longer, but it's good you let her go. So learn from your mistakes and be the best DAD you can be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/24 08:21 AM |
| 1 | It's INSANE that even in male-dominated forums, the shortcomings of modern femininity, like a lack of accountability and toxicity towards men, are often still blamed on men. This seems to be one of the few places where such issues can logically be discussed..I understand that there are different perspectives on this issue, and I agree that it's essential to care for each other and not try to put down one side. However, it's vital to remember that men and women can make mistakes and that no one is immune to this. It's also necessary to live up to the promises made in wedding vows and to consider the well-being of any children involved in a separation or divorce. This is a complex issue, and there's a lot to consider, but ultimately, we need to approa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/24 03:31 AM |
| 5 | The divorce was my fault and I miss her.It's okay. I'm 67, and I got divorced from my ex over 27 years ago. I found the love of my life about two years later, but unfortunately, I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's about seven years ago. You never know what life can bring, and things are never easy; that's how life is - complicated. As I mentioned, you seem like a good man. As you care about your kids, take it one day at a time and make the most of each day. I know it's a common saying, but it's true. You wake up in the morning, brea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/24 01:37 AM |
| 12 | The divorce was my fault and I miss her.Look, it's an S@#$ that happened, and there's not much you can do about that divorce, but fix the problem that coursed it in the first place, But I'm going to give you a piece of advice: NEVER LOOK BACK It's hard, but you will not get out of that funk you're in until you let it go, move on, and be the best person you can be, Find a special someone who loves you for you, then put into practice what you have learnt from the sessions you're having. Just re. Ember, you have friends here, so you can … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/24 12:17 AM |
| 2 | Impeccable timingRemember this: Look, don't ever second-guess the decisions you make. It's not your fault. Your wife did what she did, and it's not your fault when she is served the papers. It's hard enough that you have to go through what you're going through, let alone think it's on you when things happen. Take solace in the fact that you'll get a second chance at love, and remember to take a good look at the person on your next date. Are they showing any of those red flags? | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 05:08 AM |
| 1 | The new guy"Look, I was in the same position as you. First, I think that your ex is not honourable at all if you two had a plan in place, and she broke it. You can't do anything about it now, so be the best dad you can be to them. Never lie to them, don't speak poorly of their mother in their presence, and explain what is happening in terms they will understand. It's a sad thing when a family breaks up, but it's just as wrong when one side doesn't or can't keep a promise. So, as I have said, love your kids… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/24 08:42 AM |
| 1 | Advice on next stepsJust a suggestion: if kids are not involved and both of you earn the same amount, there shouldn't be too much of a difference. It's important to get a good lawyer and follow their advice, as you don't want to get in trouble with the courts. Protect what you have, and get the lawyer first. It's a good idea to consider a prenuptial agreement next time; it's okay to want to be fair and try to handle things without hostilities. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/24 01:15 AM |
| 5 | Weird Feeling RegretI regret that you are currently facing this circumstance. It is advisable to refrain from vacating the residence if your name is on the property, as doing so may impact your visitation rights with your children. I am perplexed why such actions are attempted, but it is crucial to remain in the house if your name is listed on the property. I recommend familiarising yourself with "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," which can be accessed online, and acquainting yourself with "Doing the 180" and "Grey Ro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/24 01:03 AM |
| 1 | I did it…I regret that you are currently facing this circumstance. It is advisable to refrain from vacating the residence if your name is on the property, as doing so may impact your visitation rights with your children. I am perplexed why such actions are attempted, but it is crucial to remain in the house if your name is listed on the property. I recommend familiarising yourself with "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life," which can be accessed online, and acquainting yourself with "Doing the 180" and "Grey Ro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 09:06 AM |
| 8 | Going through a divorce, ex hasn't talked to me at all in the last 30 days, although I hear that is more common. It's made everything harder but Im working thru it.Take hope with getting out; it's probably good she's not talking to you, but I hope you have a good lawyer, and know this: you will get through this and be a stronger person on the overside, so the best of luck, but I don't think you will need it 😉 | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 03:58 AM |
| 3 | I wanted to believe it wouldn't happen...but you guys prepared me.I'm so sorry you are here. You're not Robinson Caruso in this; I know that's not helpful, but at least you're not alone, Have you looked up the book "Leave a Cheater, gain a life"; also look up Doing the 180 and Gray Rocking; if not, well, get it or look it up on the Internet, as well as other things you can read and learn to handle all this rubbish. The most important thing is to be honest with your kids and let them know what's going on, Give them lots of love and affection, as kids are not st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 02:38 AM |
| 6 | Leaving my wife.I'm so sorry, OP, but you're doing the right thing, I was like you staying for my sons, but then I was going to leave, but she ended up running off with my friend, leaving me with my sons. It's no good if you and your wife are always fighting, as your kids know that, and they worry. So it's better to have two happy homes than one unhappy one. I wish you luck, OP, but I'm sure you don't need it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/24 04:22 AM |
| 2 | Justice Served?I'm sorry you are in this situation; no one deserves this. I hope you have a good lawyer who will fight for you. The laws are so unfair when it comes to divorce. A cheating wife can have affairs, then receive alimony and child support, and even prevent you from seeing your kids. In most states, you can't file for infidelity so that they can live in the home you're paying for and continue to cause harm. You pay child support, and your ex can restrict contact with your kids just to be mean. There … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 01:10 AM |
| 10 | Did you ex change her name back and if so did that bother you? Because it did for me.Lol, yes, she did, which I was happy about as she was such a nasty person, and I didn't want her to have my family name. I only wish for only someone who is honest and kind to have it, and I can pass it on to our kids with peace and honour. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/24 01:39 AM |
| 4 | It’s been 1 year post divorce. (Long)I'm sorry that anyone here doesn't deserve to be here. I know that sounds funny, but if you're here, you are or going through divorce, and that's not good. Yes, we all need to be taught what can happen and find out what to do, so pay attention and good luck everyone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/24 09:16 AM |
| 3 | Objective 2I'm so sorry you're here as well as everyone else, as no one deserves to be here, I hope you can get through this as you sound like a great dad and person and shouldn't have to put up with your STBXW, You will get through this. Trust me, I had my Dday over 25 years ago, and I hope you can and do get everything you're entitled to So, good luck, always. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/24 12:45 AM |
| 8 | Were signs there before your divorce? Pre-marriage specifically?In plain sight, there were signs that I ignored, as my best friend's mom had warned me not to. Her mask slipped a few times, which I should have really noticed, but I didn't. When you're in a relationship, you don't expect to have to watch your partner so closely, especially during the honeymoon period, so I let the little things go. But as with everything in life, you learn, but that also gradually diminishes your love. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 08:59 AM |
| 3 | My wife just threatened separating.I'm sorry you're here, but if your relationship is in a bad place already, then it may be the best time to separate, I know this sounds like I'm nasty but if you separate now then your not wasting another 5 tp 10 years or what ever But your wife sounds like she's over you as women never have that talk unless there is someone in the wings I would suggest looking into the red flags if I were you like if your wife go's out with GFs or weekends away late phone calls, or she's protective of her phone… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Update on my divorce!!!Well, you later should be aggressive in any interaction with the courts, so if they aren't, then you should get a new legal representative | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/24 12:30 AM |
| 2 | Made a tough, but necessary decision today.Look I'm sorry you here like the rest of us but make the best of it and just watch your daughter if your ex does or doesn't do what she supports to do then report her straight away to the police | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/24 03:29 AM |
| 1 | Thanks GuysI'm sorry, you're are in this situation no one deserves to be like this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 03:15 AM |
| 10 | Thanks GuysLook no one deserves to ever be here, but unfortunately, it happens so we all need it.to help each other in this as there are too many men who are losing time with their kids their retirement money etc as this is the last place you think you would ever end up. As most STBXW, have worked out everything before they ever have the " we need to talk" speech then most men go into how can I fix it and do the pick me dance but wonder why they end up behind the 8 ball on this. So if we can help each othe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 02:47 AM |
| 1 | STBXW expects me to happy and act like divorce is nothing?I'm so sorry that happened to you, but thank you for giving your Esperance to others so they don't make the mistakes we make or have made | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 02:32 AM |
| 1 | SAH Wife wants Divorce and wants to move the kids out of stateLook she can not take your kids out of the streets without your approval it's her bad luck she wants to move, not yours. She is starting to see there are consequences to her actions, so stick to your guns and say no and if she spirits your kids out of state without your approval, then she will be charged with kidnapping your kids which I think is a mandatory prison sentence, but get legal advice on that but I know that one parent can't take the kids out of state, I think she won't be able to mov… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 02:28 AM |
| 1 | STBXW expects me to happy and act like divorce is nothing?Do not move from the house if your name is on the ownership forms do not move out until the judge says so, as this can go against you in the divorce as they can say you deserted the family and the courts frown on that, if she doesn't like it then let her leave. So many men do this and wonder why they get posted in the divorce 🤔, so don't leave the house unless your name isn't on the ownership forms. And be careful and record or video your interaction with your STBXW as she has come out and said … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 02:09 AM |
| 7 | Wife has all her stuff packed. Last ditch effort or do I sit by idlyLook, I think it's over and is using you as a plan "B" If she wants to go, let her go if you try the "Pick Me Dance," she is just going to think you are a simp and you don't want that it sounds like she's made her mind up but is waiting for the right time if she can't or won't talk to you about it let her go, stop wasting your life on someone that's moved on find someone who will love you for you | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/24 02:13 AM |
| 21 | 2nd ThoughtsLook, get to the lawyer. You can always stop, but if you don't know where you stand, then you'll lose your retirement and savings. Everything, I'm not kidding, ok? I lost the home that I bought by myself, so I don't think it could happen to you. And get on top of this she has disrespected you, and you're doing nothing. Stop that and get going. You don't want to stay with someone who cheated on you and your kids, ok " NEVER TRUST A CHEATER," She left you months ago, if not longer, get her out of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/24 05:10 PM |
| 3 | Would you have gotten married and had kids if you knew how the sex "turns off" with your wife?Thank you! Lol, you're right in a way. It's not that I didn't try to stop her, but the law was on her side. Things have changed since then. You're right, it's so tragic that something like this happens. I hope things can and will get better and that things change for everyone who's affected by cheating partners. Thank you again. I know you say the things you do because you care about people affected by cheaters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/24 12:08 AM |
| 12 | Would you have gotten married and had kids if you knew how the sex "turns off" with your wife?Lol, mine turned off on the wedding night, "I want to keep it special," were her words on our wedding night I didn't believe what people were saying but yes she came out after the wedding and said I won't keep it special so I didn't know it was just going to be twice a year and so. e times it got worse than that. We had a great sex life before the wedding if I knew what was going to happen I would have kicked her a## to the curb, but I had my son so I concentrated on him she got me through until… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/24 07:50 PM |
| 1 | Trust issues after divorceOK, I hope that you have a great career in the army. I was in the army a long time ago. But think about getting some help, as you will wast your youth on these trust issues and you don't want that? Good luck in everything, ok, and I hope you can work it out so you live a great life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/24 03:22 PM |
| 2 | Trust issues after divorceI'm sorry for you, but I feel your pain, I understand what you're feeling, but it's sad that you couldn't talk to your new GF about your feelings and what happened in the past, I do understand, thow, as it happened to me over 35 years ago, and I have trust issues to this day, not as bad as you but still trust issues, I don't think you get over them completely, as you never really get over the break-up. You can only do your best, although I think you may need some counselling to help with how you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/24 02:32 PM |
| 3 | Am I the only one getting spam messaged by call girls on this sub?Lol, that's right, my eldest son reckoned there. "Sweety guys in a dark room somewhere in the third world," 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/24 03:00 AM |
| 4 | Am I the only one getting spam messaged by call girls on this sub?I usually just led them on until I have had my fun, then BLOCK, But I haven't heard of anyone finding "THE ONE," ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/24 02:55 AM |
| 5 | Am I the only one getting spam messaged by call girls on this sub?I understand that, I get these females who start talking with me, only in about a week or so, start hitting me up for money, I thought it was just me as I'm 67 I thought that they think that older males are an easy mark to scam so now I see they don't care who they try and scam | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/24 12:27 AM |
| 3 | Wife is leaving me"It's unfortunate that this happens so often, and it's really sad to see the poor guy so overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. This situation highlights the fact that people need to be aware of these issues because some individuals think they can do whatever they want. Typically, the spouse gets support from their friends, and someone who has been through a similar experience gives advice, which can lead to messy situations like this one. I empathize with this guy, and I hope more people will of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 10:24 PM |
| 1 | Wife is leaving meThank you for the reminder. When I saw his post, I got so angry that he was wrongfully treated. It's not his fault. He's working, and then suddenly, she serves him with divorce papers, and he's confused. Those of us who have been through this need to help people who are going through it. As I always say, when women initiate divorce, they have often emotionally checked out long before and made plans. I was talking to a man who hadn't seen his kids for over 4 years because his ex falsely took a re… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 05:51 AM |
| 10 | My Ex wants to adjust her income to $0 on CS calculatorI always believe in standing up for what's right. I applaud your courage as it sets an example for others to fight against these injustices. Remember, "Knowledge is Power." Keep us updated, and I wish you the best in moving forward with this and in your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 03:48 AM |
| 15 | Wife is leaving mePlease remember the following text: "OK, why did you sign that petition without seeing a lawyer? I don't want to sound critical when you're feeling down, but why? She can take everything from you, your retirement, and your life until your kids are old enough. OK, go get a lawyer right away. Get the best one you can, as she has gone, and I would bet that she is at least seeing someone and/or having a PA. So go and get a lawyer. I know I'm repeating myself, but signing and documenting without lega… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 03:28 AM |
| 1 | What do I do?It seems like you are going through a tough time. Here is a revised version of the text that seems to be important to you: Look, she has left as a clear indication of what she thinks of you. She seems to believe you are worthless because you don't contribute financially to the household, even though she convinced you to quit your job while she kept hers. She overlooks the fact that you have been taking care of the kids and managing household chores so that she could focus on her career. This imp… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 01:18 AM |
| 0 | Uncommon scenario help wantedYou are so true on that it's the same rubbish at different times, but he has to get strong to protect his kids and stand up to the B!@ch. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/24 02:52 AM |
| 1 | What do I do?LOOK! DON'T MOVE OUT IF YOUR NAME IS ON THE HOUSE as if you move out; you will be at a disadvantage. Ok, first thing next time, she goes off, calls the police and gets reports on her. I know you don't want to do this, but you are fighting for your life and the kids' lives, Look, the kids are all over 18, so they can and more than likely be asked who they want to live with. And if it's you, you get to stay in the house until they finish school. SHE IS BLUFFING when it comes to you moving out tell… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/24 02:47 AM |
| 1 | Uncommon scenario help wantedAlso, don't drink alcohol, keep yourself busy, get proof, tell your family and friends, and look into going back to school. Regulate getting up to date with your industry or profession and don't try and work it out as you will only ever be a plan "B" and never be a plan "B". Love your kids and make them the centre of your universe. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 10:15 AM |
| 2 | Uncommon scenario help wantedFirst, go home and stay there, since in some states, leaving can be seen as abandoning the family. If she disagrees, then she can leave. However, she still needs to provide for your medical needs. You should also seek the advice of a lawyer. I believe the cost will be covered by your joint assets before separation. As a stay-at-home dad, you have the same rights as a stay-at-home mom. It's important to return to the house as it's in both of our names, so she can't take any unilateral actions. Be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 09:49 AM |
| 3 | I give upYes, but you're not the first and won't be the last. Trust us, you will get through this. Stay strong, get tough, and put that deflated feeling into resistance against your ex. Love your little angel like there's no tomorrow, and when you have her, show her that there are good people in the world, and she will repay that love tenfold. Don't try to talk to your ex, as she sounds like she knows how to play the system. Remember: "You can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all the peo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 08:28 AM |
| 1 | It WILL get better gentleman. I was where you are now…Hey, and live every day as if it's your last because you never know when it will end! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 08:13 AM |
| 3 | Has anyone tried voice journaling?That sounds d's like a great idea, as you can go back and see how you're going Wether your getting better or worse, let us know. I have been asked to write about my divorce, but it's just so long, and it's like 35 years, but if you start at the start then it would be great as a bench mark at how your feelings change over time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 08:11 AM |
| 1 | It WILL get better gentleman. I was where you are now…Yes, there is good after the bad it takes time, and you do have dark thoughts from a bad relationship, but you can go forward 😉 | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 08:05 AM |
| 2 | It WILL get better gentleman. I was where you are now…You are so right. I have a similar story to you, but I just wanted to let people know there is good after the darkness. Good luck, and keep loving that angle forever | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 12:19 AM |
| 13 | I give upI'm sorry to hear that you're in a difficult position, but there are so many resources available to help people who don't want to be in their current situation. It's important to never give up, especially when your ex is causing harm to your daughter and it feels like there's no help available. Here are a few things to keep in mind: Never let the kids down. They should be the centre of your universe and deserve your love and affection. Be honest and acknowledge your child's feelings. Ask yoursel… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/24 12:02 AM |
| 7 | Should I stay or should I goI'm so sorry you're here as no one deserves to be here, I'm 67 years old, and my divorce was over 25 years ago, 2 years after she left me with my two sons, I met the love of my life; I had 16 years with that angle until she was taken from me by early onset Alziarsers. That was 7 years ago. So you see, things can work out, I don't think your wife has your partnership in first place as it should, I think she has or had someone, and it's not going, how she thought it would Your plan B " never be a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 09:24 PM |
| 1 | Post divorce happiness is gone…I'm so sorry you're going g through this. No one deserves to go through this, but unfortunately, we do so be that person that you can be and find that special someone who will change your life | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 05:22 PM |
| 3 | Post divorce happiness is gone…I am thank you and I hope you are as.well | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 02:03 PM |
| 3 | Post divorce happiness is gone…Thank you. I'm sorry that it made you cry, but I wanted to show people that, yes, we have bad times, but if we are true to ourselves, things sometimes work out, so thank you once again, and I hope you have a wonderful day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 08:55 AM |
| 14 | Post divorce happiness is gone…I've faced tough times, and I have some advice to share with you. I was once married to a narcissistic woman. On our wedding day, she made advances towards my best man, who rejected her. Later that night, she complained about the frequency of our intimacy, wanting it to be more special. I didn't realize it had been, on average, six months between our intimate moments, but sometimes even longer. It wasn't a big issue for me as I focused on raising my sons. After a few years, she left me for a fri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 02:57 AM |
| 2 | This shits hardThat's OK. I just hope you and others can get something out of it and understand that the cheatted are not to be blamed and should be good to themselves and take the time to heal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/24 04:44 PM |
| 3 | This shits hardLook, yes, this shit is hard, and no one deserves to go through this, but remember, you have kids. Make them your life and be the best you can be. I'll give you some advice! Never lie to the kids ever. They are much smarter than you think and remember things that happen in their lives. Love them, and don't ever run their mother down in front of them or around them so they can hear. Make them the centre of your life as you will appreciate it if you're the man I think you are. How do I know all th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/24 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Well, Just like that. It's done."Sorry about that! I was lost in thought and meant to edit my message later, but I accidentally hit the wrong button on my phone. I have big fingers and the keys on my phone are small, so that's my excuse! Thank you for your kind comment. I was just trying to let him know that it's not his fault and to simply love his kids. I hope that came through." | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 02:36 AM |
| 3 | Well, Just like that. It's done.Look, it's done now. Make it the best you can for you and your kids. The kids come first and just show them love and affection. I'm sure you're the worst in the world, according to your wife But remember she wanted this she was or is in an affair or at least talked with others who put this rubbish in her head just be civil when interacting just yes or no answers where you can Gray rock her she wanted out don't be nice to her it's a shame you went through this it seems modern women what the one p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/24 11:35 AM |
| 1 | Psychological assessment gone wrongGet a separate assessment if you feel you think it was a staged outcome as it's not unheard of for the wife to do BS like that I have heard of countless taking one side or the other just be careful | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/24 11:22 AM |
| 1 | Any advice pending Divorce/ situationI'm really sorry for what you're going through. It seems like you're carrying most of the weight in your relationship, especially since you mentioned that "the kids are more stable with you." I suspect that she may have been seeing someone else behind your back. When someone says "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," they are usually testing the waters with someone else and keeping you as a backup plan. I recommend gathering information about divorce laws in your state. Many family law law… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/24 11:11 AM |
| 1 | There’s no “beating” the narcissist ex wifeThank you and to you as well. Life is hard, but it's how you deal with the hard times that counts | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 02:13 PM |
| 1 | There’s no “beating” the narcissist ex wifeThank you, it was hard, especially for my sons she has never changed she didn't even go to my youngest son's wedding, which hurt him so badly 😢 it brock my heart 💔 watching him but we made the best of it and that's all you can do | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 02:09 PM |
| 2 | I just called the police on my stbx"Unfortunately, this happens too often, and we need to support the victims and call out the abusers. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but you showed your strength and resilience. Thank you for what you did to protect your kids." | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 01:28 PM |
| 1 | There’s no “beating” the narcissist ex wifeThey were like 4 and 8 at the time, and it was a long time before they got out on their own, | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 01:19 PM |
| 2 | There’s no “beating” the narcissist ex wifeYou can only do what you can. It's not really about winning and losing, but can you live with yourself and your kids? Never lie to your kids, and never run her down. They will see what she is like, and I'm sure if you show them that you truly love them, then it will come your way. I was in a similar situation to you. I was the one who was told I cheated and lied, although she ran off with my best friend, leaving me with my two sons. After he dumped her, she came back and got control of my sons. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 01:11 PM |
| 3 | I just called the police on my stbxThank you. I'm just saying it how it was. If I can help him make the decision that he needs to make, then I'll be happy. We all need advice sometimes throughout life. I hate cheaters, liars, and people who abuse others. As I said, people here are a wonderful lot and give to people they don't know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 12:26 PM |
| 6 | I just called the police on my stbxI understand the pain you're going through. My ex was abusive, and I allowed it to happen, which I regret deeply. She also hurt my sons, and that's the most painful part. I can never forgive her, and I struggle to forgive myself. I tried to protect my sons, but some of the abuse still affected them. There are emotional scars that only I can see in them. I hope this makes sense, but please trust me when I say you should leave and take the kids, if there are any, and get a restraining order. You'v… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 12:03 PM |
| 3 | I just called the police on my stbxI think it's time to go mate it sounds like you just need that push, and I think you have just had it. Just move on as if they hit you once, and then they'll do it again, so get out while you can it, but to stay with an abuser is not a partnership and is fraught with danger to anyone in the home if you have kids get custody of them and get a restraining order on her, as people like that just not good | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 03:19 AM |
| 7 | How does this happen. Wife want divorce after 25 years marriageI am certain that she found someone else. When people say, "I love you but am not in love with you," 99% of the time, the spouse has found someone new. I strongly believe she had someone else waiting in the wings and was secure in this, or she would have kept him as a backup plan until she was sure of the new relationship. She ended the marriage without counselling or working things out, so she must have been happy in her new relationship. It's a harsh reality, but this happens so often. People … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 06:27 AM |
| 3 | How Bad Is The RealizationI understand what you are going through. Over 25 years ago, my wife left me for my best friend, leaving me with our two baby boys. She ended up with over $500,000 for cheating on me. I know it's tough, but take some time to feel sorry for yourself and then be the best you can be for your kids. Love them, never lie to them, and don't speak badly about your ex. Your kids will appreciate that, and when you least expect it, you will find someone new. I found someone who brought light into my life af… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/24 09:08 AM |
| 11 | Red flagsOw many and varied, her anger towards me and my sons, spending time away from the house, wanting more weekends away with GFs, buying new clothes, and taking better care of herself, It was the time before mobile phones, lol, so no sniggering from the back. Yes, I'm old, lol. I think there are all the usual ones, but remember, this was pre-internet, not by much, though, so we didn't have things like Reddit and other resources, so the cheated partner usually never knew until they got the divorce pa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/24 02:00 AM |
| 2 | How do you defend against false claims?Look, you are at the least going to have to get evidence by having your mother, father, or other person take photos with the date and Time on them. You have to do what you can and don't let anyone know you have them in case you need them. As you, STBEXW will try anything to get full custody, then she can get more money from you, so never trust her till everything is finalised. You can never trust anyone regarding this type of thing, as she will try and hurt you. You can't trust anyone on her sid… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/24 12:53 AM |
| 2 | Closure possible?I'm sorry you're going through this. The best thing to do is to move on. Women have agendas and are often ahead of men in planning for the future. It's possible she had already mentally checked out of the relationship and had plans in place, including legal ones, before actually leaving. It's not worth trying to talk to her if she's not listening and seems content with the situation. You need to stop trying with her and remember that there are many other women worldwide. Please don't waste your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/24 09:10 AM |
| 2 | There's nothing I can do.I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It's not good that you put your wife through that, but at least you've changed. Sadly, you lost your wife. I feel like you lost her when she first left you. She seemed to feel sorry for you, returned, gave you false hope, and then moved on. You know that women always think ten steps ahead, and she is long gone. I think it's disgusting that she gave you hope and then let you go. You're doing the right thing by moving on and using what you have found out … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/24 08:52 AM |
| 5 | Anyone else lose everything? I paid bills out of joint acct during 3 yr divorce, judge ordered me to pay $ back bc I did it w/o permission& 2 yr later judge ordered me to pay my half of house sale within 7 days + 8 yrs spousal support bc she's uneducated.Hi, first. I'm sorry you are here, with the rest of us, I can feel your pain, I brought the family home $124,000.00 at that time. from my money, and she didn't put a cent to it, and I gave her parents $10,000.00 after they lost their business and then I brought her a business, that she wanted for around $100,000, and I was I love with her and put her name on the home, but fast forward 10 years she is treating me with disrespect. Then, she loses the business from poor management on her part, Then… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/24 07:13 AM |
| 2 | I’ve finally told her it’s overI'm sorry that you are going through a tough time. You may feel lost and hurt, but you are not alone. Many people have experienced similar situations, and with the right mindset, you can get through this. It's important to acknowledge that your partner has been unfaithful to you and has likely been involved with this other person for some time. While it may be difficult, it's essential that you don't feel sorry for her; she is not thinking of you. If you need to communicate with her, keep your c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/24 08:40 AM |
| 6 | Something switched in my brain.I'm glad you have turned the corner as it is hard when you try your best to keep your family together, but your partner just wants to burn it down, just remember, ok that there are so many people believing the BS that their divorce friends make how they can do better, but find out that they left a great person for what? So Tiron or Chad and get past around and used 🤔 finding out too late that no one wants them, we'll not a good people anyway and cry and demand that their exs take them back after… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 12:44 AM |
| 2 | Help me articulate why divorce is so hard for menHi, what makes divorce hard for men, we tend to trust more for some reason And when the partner, disrespects you with probably the worst type of disrespect that you can do to someone, men, really find that trusting someone to honor there commitment on that special day, then to just meet someone that is tall, smarter, richer etc, and just have a phisical affaire and to keep it undercover, and even worse, have a child, with AP, and keep that secret for years and years, and usually it only comes ou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/24 05:59 AM |
| 4 | She's not stupid. She's not powerless. She's evil.Ok you people that are saying that no one can be evil, if someone has gone behind your back and cheated with someone other than there spouse there evil, as it's a disision that was made with knowing that it's disrespectful to there partner, at every stage of thinking about doing it then to actually talking about doing it then going to do it then actually doing it it's all a consues disision to disrespect there spouse in the most evil way they can, If they weren't happy they should leave and move… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/24 11:19 AM |
| 3 | I am shocked there aren't enough crimes and people killing lawyers and their exesI'm so sorry that you are here as I'm sure no one would won't to be here in there right mind, but here we are be course of a system that is inherently against the male for some reason. As I don't know how cheated females are treated, I won't comment I just know how most males are treated and it's appalling in this day and age but due to toxic feminism, we get this bias shown towards the male, I don't know if you could appeal this discussion, but if you feel that you weren't represented effective… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 11:20 AM |
| 6 | I can tell if she’s seeing someone or not by how she treats me. It’s night and day!Look trust your gut, as it's usually right and then start looking to make sure as you don't need that disrespect and heartache, then you can then say for shore one way or other, then take what ever steps you need to take to keep your self respect. Trust me everyone here or almost everyone has or is going through or has been through what you are now, I don't know why they do it but it's just so disrespectful to you, there are lots of female's out there a cheater can easily replaced, as they show … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 12:33 AM |
| 2 | Stopped our divorce, 3 months later my wife changed again.Hi, I'm so sorry you are going through this and having you kids is so much worse, Look, I usaly upset people when a say things, but I don't care when good people are getting hurt, I think you should see your lawyer and then do the 180 on her, as you will never get through to her as she is not the person you have married, and she has possibly changed her mind, becomes she has to get her ducks in a row, and or seeing someone new, but anyhow see a lawyer and see if there is a parenting app the cour… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/24 12:41 AM |
| 2 | Did anyone else have sex with their ex wife during the process?Well that's a silly question "NO" | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/24 02:29 AM |
| 2 | How much money did you lose in your divorce?I lost a home which I owned out right and my business so it was something like around a million dollars | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/24 12:34 AM |
| 3 | Go work out they say…I'm so sorry that your going through this, I understand why you think like the way you do but exercising is to one, get fit and be the best as you can, but second, and probably the most important is to keep your mind busy so you don't think of your STBX, but if that is no good for you take up an old hobby or start a new one a , or do something you like as long as it gets your mind of the STBX. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/24 08:53 PM |
| 2 | Ex Wife Hooked UpI'm going to say "Why" leve it alone what she does it's not your problem anymore just the kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/23 11:34 PM |
| 0 | X wife car not starting…One it's not your problem as if you are devoiced and two on what world would she think she could ask you for help. I can't fathom how modern independent women get off as soon as they hit a problem they come running for help I had an ex that was like that always asking for help when things went wrong but she had her BF that she left me for no can't ask him but could ask me, I would never help unless it was for my kids, let her get on with it, you don't have to help out anyone especially if it's a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/23 12:23 AM |
| 2 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?Look marriage is not for everyone so don't sweat it, as if I was your age I would not get married Iver , but if you ever do just make sure you always cover your butt, IE a airtight pre-nup, and knowing your rights to being married, sounds bad but you just have to read some of the guys here and it would scare you off marriage for life, but I think if you go in with your eyes open the you will be ok, just watch out for red flags, and do some reading on,. leave a cheater gain a life, doing the 180,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 02:10 AM |
| 2 | Where do I start?That's ok we all have done what you have done but as long as your moving forward and don't make the same mistake then your going to get through this | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 03:23 AM |
| 3 | F Her MentalityLook don't try to get her to tell you the truth she will only trickle truth you till the end of time, find out if she has cheated on you and get proof, show your family and friends the good ones will stick with you, you may loss some but if you do they weren't friends in the first place, Look up doing the 180, Gray Rocking, and read leave a cheater gain a life, you can find them all on the web, We here have or are were you are now, so your not alone, get the best family lawyer you can afford, If… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 03:07 AM |
| 3 | Trying to understand my situationLook get a lawyer, the best one you can, in that way your going to get the best advice you can as you will get a thousand opinions here everyone has there own not saying there wrong but there not in your shoes, but if she's like that you start the divorce, and in the mean time start doing the 180, Gray Rocking her, and read up on, Leave a cheater gain a life, you can find all the information on the web, and stop doing the picke dance with he, it sounds like she's out the door, I don't know what … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 02:57 AM |
| 2 | Where do I start?That's ok we are here for you and your kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 02:33 AM |
| 3 | Where do I start?And tell people about what has happened as cheaters don't like others knowing the truth, I would also get all the kids DNA tested, not saying there not your kids but just for your peace of mind, but stay busy, start going to the gym, running, etc, not only will that keep your mind off what's happening but getting you into the best you can be, Take up a hobby or restart an old one. Just give your kids all your love as they need to know that your going to be there for them, there smarter than what… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 02:31 AM |
| 3 | Where do I start?Look, you may not be able to get your partner out of the house, but you can do things that make it hard for her, like doing the 180, or Gray Rocking,, I would suggest read, "leave a cheating gain a life" you can find out how to do all those things on the web. And don't try and get the truth from your wife as she will only ever tricke truth you till the end of the time, unless you have the proof before hand, | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 02:10 AM |
| 8 | What’s The Point?Look, as males we are dreamers and give our trust so easily, two people that don't deserve it in anyway shape or form, yes they do what they do, but because femaled are more emotional than males, they get in there groups of friends and usaly most of those are as toxic as poison, and they give each other rubbish advice, they can do better, your wasting your life, etc. So if your ex is over 30 or 40 they find that that greener grass is just an illusion, and as they say. " Hit the Wall" they find y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 01:12 AM |
| 2 | What to do If I suspect my wife is considering divorce?Look if you think there's a chance suggest MC, but if not stop thispick me dance usual at this stage there already gone in there mind, it's usaly the way you can't giver her what she wants so she's looking or is with someone that can! It's hard but your going to have to change your mind set she's moved on and not that women that you married, your in a fight for your future if she's out the door. I would go and talk with a lawyer, to see were you stand, I don't think your in to deep with just Two… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/23 02:10 AM |
| 10 | The fight?Look your thinking of your partner as the women you married, here's so news update if your getting divorced she changed and is more than likely already moved on, she's making herself feel that she's right about getting the divorce, so the only way she can do that is if your the problem, so eargo she has to treat you as the bad one, Look your in the fight for your life here, in the way, of your future, so stop thinking the way you are and read up on the " lose a cheater gain a life" or doing the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/23 08:31 AM |
| 1 | Should I Appeal?Hi, I remember your post, I felt for you, and could not believe what that judge got away with, I'm not in the US but know a little bit, I always thought that there decision has to be based on the rule of law, and then you go on precedent and things like that, and his decision didn't sound like he was using that system, Anyway if there's a chance that I could get more time with my kids I would jump at it, don't worry about the cost as which isore important to have the time with your kids and get … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 11:09 PM |
| 2 | Am I been unfair ?It's ok just tell her that you have up graded your security system, them she knows and anyway if it's your security system I don't think that's the same as recording someone with your phone but be careful all the time I was reading the overlay were this pore guys ex put a tracker in his car | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 04:53 AM |
| 2 | Am I been unfair ?Look I'm not in America, so don't know that much about your divorce system, but I think it would be wise to go see a lawyer who knows what there doing and not some kid just out of school, and see were you stand, as I have read lots of horror stories that can happen to men over there, So find out everything you can as women can do funny things when divorce is actually happening and they don't get what they won't, Don't ever meet her without having your phone record everything, or have someone you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 02:04 AM |
| 2 | "How a Weekend Trip Unveiled the Cracks in Our Marriage"Look, I would put money on her having an affair, and staying at a residential address while on a business trip, I think you know and just what outside validation, ok if you know the address were she stayed, find out who owns the property, start doing some investigating, but don't let her know, if you can afford a PI get one, also go see a divorce lawyer, and find out were you stand on this you don't want to be paying for her the rest of your life, I wish you luck and find the answers you despera… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/23 04:04 PM |
| 2 | How to let go of the bitterness? Adult daughters tried to manipulate me to leave the house to their motherI'm so sorry for you it's bad enough to loss your marriage let alone your Doughters you don't say how old they are but if there nearing or are in there twenties that's so wrong of them to get involved in any part of your divorce but I can truly understand were your comming from, but if you can don't cut them out for ever as life is so short, maybe some day down the track you can talk to them about it, as it sounds like they may have been influenced by others in this, but I'm so glad that your st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/23 06:00 AM |
| 1 | Wife/Mommy boss and my storyYes I agree with you 💯 you give up little by little and you don't really notice it till one day she has you and your just her servent with no benifits, I ended up divorcing my ex after she ran off with my best friend leaving me with two small boys, We made it in the long run she moved on with someone other than the best friend, I will never let that happen again I won't ever just try and get along on the chance we make love I just put it up front that I won't be her slave and if I'm not happy I'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/23 02:08 AM |
| 2 | Can she legally do this?Hi, I'm not a lawyer but I would think that that would be the Lawes jod not his STBXW I would tell him to go speak with his lawyer, I wouldn't give her a thing untill I had a proper demand from her lawyer, Just my opinion, he shouldn't resist any demand but get advice from his lawyer Good luck | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/23 11:08 PM |
| 16 | What Did You Tell Mutual Friends?Look if you don't get the truth out there first she will only spin it in her way making you the bady, get undeniable evidence of what she has done and let everyone know, your not going to be any worse of but have the satisfaction of knowing you put the truth out there, and if her AP, is married or has a HF let them know as well the cheaters hate when the light is tired on to there disposable ways, | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 03:14 AM |
| 5 | I feel like giving up on the kids and just moving onLook I know it's hard but never, let the kids suffer and if you leave who do you think will be suffering, they will remember the dad that sat and played with -them, or sat with them doing homework etc. She will just make you out the bady and you don't want that | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 02:53 AM |
| 4 | Why do stbex’s memory of the past differ so much from reality?Look, they want to be the betrayed one and in there mind it was you, you were never there for her, you worked to hard, you didn't help enough around the home etc, you need to get the proof that she can't deny and show family and friends in that way she can't try and say it was your fault | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 02:46 AM |
| 1 | Sometimes I question my sanity and some venting.Look, for a start, record everything if not video, or have someone there with you as a witness, as she, is the type of person that can turn around and say that you assorted her and have you arrested so always protect yourself. She's never going to listen to your side of the story as, in her mind she didn't do anything wrong, it was all your fault, and I hope that you have a lawyer so when she says that rubbish you then give it to the lawyer, so you biuld up what she's really like, I hope that yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 02:03 AM |
| 0 | No way I can winLook start getting mad at her, by that I mean set her as the enamy as she started this and your going to finish it, stop thinking she's means something to you she doesn't think of you unless it's a ATM and she going to get everything so if that's the case let her win and keep walking over you, but if you want to come out of this with having your kids and keeping most of your money then stop taking to her tell her she can only talk to you through your lawyer, I do hope you have a good one as your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 03:56 PM |
| 4 | How do you get over your ex that you still love?Look it wasn't you even if you asked her she couldn't really tell you, IE your never here, you don't make enught money, you don't meet my needs ETC, She gets speaking to her friends and they get in her head and say she can do better, he doesn't deserve you ETC, you get my drift, and more than likely she was having a EA if not a PA, that's how this happens we here have been through all this and you would get the same answer from most of us, You have just got to move on, as she has well a truly mo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 03:17 PM |
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