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MarchBaby21 Archive

View 0 posts and 124 comments by MarchBaby21 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

You posted on the arrange marriage subreddit that you are getting married- if that’s true, why does your criteria matter?
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 02:19 AM
4

I think it’s more conservative HVM in general would be unlikely to date someone in those careers. My husband is what I think many on this sub would describe as a HVM and he would not date a woman who was a model/influencer/etc. He is conservative but not old money and not from a conservative family. He just wouldn’t be okay with his girlfriend/wife being in a career that’s about showing off her body.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 12:20 AM
1

SAHM of one so far. I’m quite involved in our finances. I make our monthly budget every month using the app EveryDollar. I do 90% of our household spending. We each get the same amount every month in our budgeting app as “personal” money that we can spend on whatever we want. Usually around $100 but it fluctuates depending on other needs. We can bank this money for the future if we don’t spend it all so if I want to save for a larger personal purchase, that’s how I do it. My husband does the sam…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/23 04:01 PM
1

I’m aware of the lifestyle youre discussing and more involved in it then youre aware. I was pregnant 3 weeks after my wedding and have a massive vegetable garden lol. Chickens next year. The wording of OP’s post sounds as though she would expect to be a housewife for quite awhile before having kids. Even including being a “housewife” for a boyfriend. Even with the added responsibilities that come with self-sufficiency, it would likely severely limit her dating pool to want to quit working for a …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/23 01:06 AM
1

It will be much, much easier to find a husband who is happy for you to stay at home once you have kids (or even quit when you start trying for kids/get pregnant) than to find a man who is fine with you not working for years before having them. That is going to drastically limit your dating pool. Almost all of the women in my church community, myself included, either stay at home or work part time because they want to. I don’t think a single one of them was a housewife for any significant period …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/23 12:18 AM
8

My husband and I are Christian and the Bible is explicit that spouses come first. Secular arguments about divorce hold no sway with me personally. From what I’ve seen of the marriages around me, putting your kids over your spouse is much more likely to make that divorce occur. Self-fulfilling prophecy. I personally could not imagine making the active decision to put my children first because of fear my husband will leave me.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/23 03:07 AM
3

Thank you! I’m sorry that you missed out on that, that’s hard. My mom worked full time and my grandmother watched me 3 days a week. It was before I could remember but I know it really bonded us. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother growing up and she had a big influence on my life. I think this led to me being very supportive of my daughter developing close relationships with her grandparents. My daughter’s grandparents are very involved in our day to day lives and the bond she has with all…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 08:15 PM
6

I think the biggest way is by being a stay at home mom, personally. She is with me a ton and I respond to her emotional needs in those moments. We’ve had 2 years of me being with her all the time to build our relationship. She knows I’m her mom, her primary caregiver, and that I love her. But I personally don’t have guilt over leaving her with her grandparents or dad in order to spend times with friends or my husband. She is safe with people who love her and who she knows well. Having a strong r…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 07:42 PM
28

My husband comes before my daughter, who is a toddler, and I firmly believe that’s how it should be. No hate to your mom but that’s not advice I will personally follow. I am Christian so my beliefs in this are biblically based. I’m a stay at home mom so I spend a lot of time with her. But I also don’t take her everywhere. Having time with my husband and friends without the presence of kids has enriched those relationships thoroughly. If I took my daughter everywhere, I’d literally never have a f…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 05:16 PM
6

If you are traditionally Catholic, why would you want to go against St Paul’s clear teachings about the importance of being equally yoked? Honest question. The Bible is pretty clear about marrying outside of the faith- it says not to do it. Something to think about. From my parents’ interfaith marriage (my mother Lutheran, my dad raised Catholic but agnostic/atheist), it led to a lot of conflict between them, my mother eventually deciding to drop church altogether, and a ton of confusion in my c…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 05:05 PM
12

I think you’re overthinking it. You can tell men on dates about how much you like specialty drinks. And as your relationship progresses you can get to a point where it’s cool for you to order like 5 drinks at dinner. Everyone has their quirks. But I don’t think it’s cool to go to town on drink after drink after drink when it’s on his dime and you barely know each other.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/22 12:04 AM
26

I think it’s a bit rude and I think framing it as “stifling what you’re really like” isn’t accurate. You aren’t stifling yourself. Liking fancy drinks isn’t an essential component of who you are as a person. I think ordering two is fine but any more than that and I think it’s being a bit extra on a first (or second or third etc) date. For me, it’s similar to how I wouldn’t order the most expensive thing on the menu on a first date even though I love lobster and other expensive foods. When my hus…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 08:57 PM
43

I have been thinking about writing a post about vetting on men that sound a lot like your boyfriend. Constantly playing video games/consuming media, have no desire to significantly contribute to household labor despite their partner working just as much (if not more) than them, and that they are content to watch their partners have less free time and a lot more on their plate while they reap the benefits. Perhaps others will have more advice on how to approach and possible inspire to change. My …
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/22 01:26 AM
23

Yeah, I wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t make enough money for me to stay at home but still expected all the benefits of a housewife. That’s not a high value man and not someone I’d marry. I married someone who makes enough money for me to stay home. Because despite your assertion that that isn’t possible, it is. By not living in an extremely high cost of living environment and working in a well paying field like engineering, computer science, medicine, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/22 08:06 PM
5

In this scenario, is it “his savings” or the family’s? My husband and I have combined finances. I would not support him taking all of our savings and investing it in something unstable. We have a mortgage and a child, we need stability. But tbh one of the reasons I married my husband is that he would literally never wipe out our emergency savings on a single investment.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/22 02:42 PM
2

I have PMDD and will be trying this! I’m happy you posted in the wrong sub.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/22 12:48 AM
2

Sometimes it happens naturally like others comments said but we have had to be really intentional about it because we live close to both families and both have events on major holidays. It’s very easy for hurt feelings and jealousy to pop up in our families if we aren’t intentional. We do Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with one family, Christmas with the other, and then swap the next year. So that stays even. Easter is based around which family is willing to accommodate our church schedule as ou…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 06:12 PM
6

I think a redpill focused mother’s sub would be interesting, personally. Pregnancy is a very short window of time and a pregnancy-specific sub probably wouldn’t generate that much traffic. And of course pregnancy could be discussed in the mom subreddit.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/22 04:28 AM
2

The childcare crisis is particularly insane with COVID. Daycare centers are just shutting down for 1-2 weeks at a time because of positive cases. It’s wild. At least for the foreseeable future, staying at home is easier than getting yourself involved in that mess.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/22 01:12 AM
2

Would never sign one. I get the reasoning behind some men wanting them but I do not agree with doing divorce prep before getting married. People can say “it will protect both of you!” as much as they want…. It does not change that it is divorce preparation and I’m not compatible with a man who wants to enter a marriage that way. This is largely informed by the fact that I’m Christian and would only divorce under very specific circumstances. My husband is as well. He had a high net worth before w…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 12:40 PM
13

I do think doing those things expresses it. So does showing off your cooking skills on occasion, cleaning well, and generally just being on top of your life (working out regularly, cleaning well, etc). Beauty is obviously incredibly important but it’s not really the biggest signal of a good homemaker specifically. Skills are. Dressing nice doesn’t mean you know how to meal plan and cook or keep your bathrooms clean. My husband and I are incredibly clear communicators. We discussed, in detail, ou…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 03:11 PM
23

I’m a SAHM in a traditional relationship. I did not leave work until married and I’d suggest others do the same. My husband had significant assets before marriage but we did not have a pre-nup, have fully joint accounts, and my name is on everything. While he flirted with the idea of a pre-nup when we were dating in our early 20s, I made it clear I’d never leave my job with one in place and he ultimately came around on his own to realizing he didn’t agree with them philosophically after he becam…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 01:11 PM
3

Before baby, yes. After baby, no. He works from home and doesn’t mind making himself something simple. He’d much prefer I use my energy elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 11:47 AM
4

I’m praying for you!!!
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 03:21 PM
9

Definitely discuss this in premarital counseling. The Bible is very clear that premarital sex is a sin. It doesn’t say that sex within a committed relationship is fine. The Israelites’ “engagement” (aka betrothal) was basically a formal contract where ending it was akin to getting a divorce and sex was still not permitted until marriage. I sympathize with your fiancé because I went through a period where my husband wanted to stop having sex but I kept trying to justify it to myself. My change of…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 03:10 PM
2

That’s great! Definitely try to work through it with the counselor :) Good luck, you guys are doing something awesome. I can tell you from my perspective on the other side, recommitting ourselves to waiting was absolutely worth it. Some might say “the ship has sailed” but that’s never true when you’re talking about following God and turning away from sin.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 02:41 PM
3

Good for you guys for stopping! It’s hard but now that we’re on the other side, my husband and I are so happy we stopped having sex. Issues definitely popped up for us because of it but they were insecurities that would have found their way out eventually. I’m happy we worked through it before marriage, especially as we now have a baby and it’s about 100x harder to deal with problems when sleep deprived and with all the responsibilities of having a baby.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 02:38 PM
9

Already having sinned is never an excuse to keep sinning. My husband and I did the same thing when we became Christian while dating/engaged. It seems like the issues are there whether or not they have sex, OP is just able to bury them while using sex as a bandaid over her insecurities. That’s not healthy.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 02:07 PM
7

I’m Christian and my fiancé and I did this. Already having sinned isn’t an excuse to keep sinning. So you know why you’re doing this and it’s a great thing! The issues are going to be there whether you have sex or not. You might be able to bury them with sex but they will come out. And you can say now isn’t a convenient time but there will never be a good time. Before marriage is unquestionably better than after, especially if you’re planning on having kids any time soon. Are you doing premarita…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 02:05 PM
23

There are definitely some men who are looking for high earning women but I’ve found that they’re typically LVM in other ways. But the point about shooting for men who earn more than you when you’re a high earner is more what I meant. A guy who makes 250k isn’t going to care what a woman makes. If he has a demanding career, he’s likely going to want someone who is flexible, not someone else who also has a demanding career.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 07:26 PM
57

If you have a doctoral degree and earn 250k and will only accept men who have your level of income and education, you have narrowed your dating pool to like 5% of the population, if not less. Add in needing to find someone you’re attracted to, who you like, who has the same goals as you, and lives in your area… how can you be expected to find someone like that? A big part of this is that men typically don’t value education level and income like women do. Men mostly care that a woman is somewhat …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 07:18 PM
10

It takes me approximately 8 hours for 4 bedrooms, foyer/hallway/stairs, play room, dining room, kitchen, family room and 2.5 bathrooms. You do sound like more of a perfectionist. I’m just getting that vibe over you being slow given that you clean the fridge every time you buy groceries and your husbands comments. That’s not inherently bad unless 1) you want to spend less time cleaning or 2) you’re neglecting other responsibilities in favor of keeping a literally spotless home. I have seen some w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/22 01:36 AM
1

Take baths Go to the gym and spend most of my time in the sauna/hot tub Ask grandparents to babysit so my husband and I can go out to dinner Watch a TV show in bed during one of my daughter’s naps Ask my husband to watch the baby for 30 minutes in the morning so I can drink coffee in bed alone.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 04:38 PM
1

In you shoes, I’d try to find a man from the same religion that I’m actually interested in and see if I treat him differently. You could be keeping these men at arms’ length because you know at the end of the day you aren’t going to be their wife. You can’t submit to a man you don’t have plans to be with long-term. Try to find someone with the same religion and see if you act differently. Because from my perspective on this interaction, of course you’re coming off as hard to get… because you kno…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 04:20 AM
4

Don’t go on a date with him. That’s temptation speaking. There is no reason to date a man you know you can’t be with long term. You could develop feelings for him and that would just make everything more complicated. You know you can’t be with him so shut him down. When you’re talking about #3, is it how you react towards all men? Or only men you know you can’t be with at the end of the day because of religious differences?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 04:08 AM
11

None of your questions matter. Honestly, none of this post matters beyond your first 3 sentences. You two have religious differences. If you are serious about your faith, stop considering a man of a different religion. His characteristics, his game, his feelings for you do not matter. I don’t know your religion but in mine, Christianity, “unequally yoked” marriages are very clearly condemned. Most religions have the same commandments. I truly can’t understand your post because he clearly isn’t a…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 02:48 AM
2

Trade off for sure! Again, I don’t mean to complain. I love my home and am so grateful to have so much space for my baby girl and her future siblings. It’s a blessing. But it does mean I’m overwhelmed with housework and am considering a housekeeper. It’s just so much to keep on top of! I think home size is an important part of this discussion.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/21 01:17 AM
13

Like another comment said- you’re probably going to have to pay for a divorce one day. Either live at home or eat the cost of on campus living. A pre-nup will not stop the reality of a divorce costing you money. This isn’t even to speak of how you will be much less likely to land a high value man as a young divorcee who devalues marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/21 12:59 AM
28

One of the worst ideas I could ever imagine. Do not do it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 11:09 PM
1

It’s the difference in home size almost certainly. I have 2300 square feet. That square footage does not include an unfinished basement plus 2 car garage. Plus almost 2 acres of land. Every space of our house gets used regularly and needs to be cleaned- 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, a family room, dining room, living room, and large eat in kitchen. Our outdoor space needs constant work. I love our home so I don’t mean to complain. But it’s a ton of work. I spend hours a day on housework and it’s never …
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 09:07 PM
2

You can do this! I was 185 at my highest and got down to 135. Not currently there (lol pregnancy/breastfeeding is a rollercoaster) but it’s totally possible and once I was ready to lose weight, it honestly wasn’t even that hard. Keep calorie counting and working out! Take progress pics so when you’re feeling down and like you’ve lost 15lbs but can’t even see the difference, you can look at those pictures and really see the changes in yourself. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 01:06 AM
2

Oh my goshhhh I’m so excited. One day, very far in the future lol
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 08:31 PM
2

I’ll start off with saying I agree with a lot of what you said, particularly the last paragraph. But I think a lot of full time working women in the season of life of having and raising young kids don’t necessarily agree with this because, unless the man has a very physically demanding/dangerous job, the woman’s role is usually more physically demanding, painful, and dangerous than all of the masculine chores combined. My husband and I had a conversation about this a few months ago. He grew up a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 05:33 PM
5

Very similar! 2300 square feet and 1.5 acres here. It’s a ton of work requiring two people. We are considering hiring a monthly housekeeper with my husband’s next pay raise. Just to keep on top of deep cleaning, particularly the bathrooms which are my worst enemy. Can’t keep on top of them
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 03:29 PM
9

There aren’t enough hours and we only have 1 baby! You're a superhero for twins! Yeah, we have a pretty big house- Keeping up on 100% of housework with my cat napper hasn’t been possible. I’m definitely getting more efficient and finding my rhythm as a SAHM at 9 months into it. But I’m still learning. My husband also likes to spend time with me. After my daughter goes to bed, he doesn’t want me to spend 2 hours on chores. He wants me to watch a movie with him or just hang out. He knows that for …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 02:34 PM
35

Absolutely agreed. I went through a period where I thought I wanted that type of relationship. Thank God my husband (then boyfriend) had the sense to realize it was ridiculous. He wanted me to stay at home, I wanted to try to “have it all” by being a career woman 9-5 and a housewife all the other hours of the day. In his case to have me because a SAHM one day, my boyfriend laid out the hours in a day. So you’re going to spend X time working, Y time commuting, Z time with your children…. and how …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 10:42 AM
2

Highly recommend just buying a few nice ones a year. It’s hard not to have a “complete” look but worth it to me. We have a large mantle in our home that I’d love to spend $250 on it to make a perfect Christmas mantle. But this year I chose to invest in good stockings because we just had a baby and a few outdoor items because we live in a neighborhood where everyone decorates. The mantle can wait a few years. Also, decorating while not having children is totally fine! Makes the house so homey. I …
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 02:34 PM
2

I should have specified- cooked! My dad gave me a leftover Thanksgiving carcass.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 02:30 PM
3

Here’s the potato soup recipe!! https://sugarspunrun.com/creamy-potato-soup-recipe/ I don’t have an exact recipe for the turkey soup because I didn’t measure anything and just kind of made it up as I went along but here’s what I did: I boiled the carcass for a couple hours in half broth half water with whole carrots, celery sticks, halved onions, and whole garlic cloves. These vegetables are just for added flavor, they get strained out. Strained it in a fine mesh strainer, and picked the carcass…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/21 09:49 PM
22

I’m learning how to make soups this winter and it’s been a fun, homey experience. My dad gave me a turkey carcass with dark meat on it and I tuned it into a delicious vegetable and noodle soup. If anyone is interested, I’ll write up an explanation of how I made it though I’m no expert. The soup fills the house with a delicious smell. It was so good. My husband was away overnight hunting and came back saying he couldn’t wait to get home to have more soup. I also make an amazing potato soup but it…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/21 01:03 AM
3

Fascinating Womanhood
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/21 11:04 AM
2

He is telling you that during one of the most vulnerable times in your life, he won’t be there to support you because you’ll be unattractive to him. You’re right to ask yourself “what kind of relationship is that?”.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/21 12:36 PM
2

Something I wish my husband and I worked through more before having a child is hobby time. There is a long-term reduction in time for hobbies. I think that’s the case for the vast majority of people who have intense hobbies before having children. However, that does not mean the hobbies can’t be prioritized at all! My husband saw that his hobby time wasn’t returning to normal levels, panicked, and started neglecting his responsibilities to our child, me, and our household to spend way more time …
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 04:21 PM
1

If you start trying at 28 and discover serious fertility issues, you have years to work through them. It’s realistic to be able to have 2 kids via IVF. If you start trying at 35 and discover serious fertility issues, your chances of having children are much much lower. Two kids is nearly out of the picture.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/21 12:14 AM
1

I don’t agree with ultimatums and didn’t realize at first that that was what OP was doing. But I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to want children before your mid-30s. If you discover you have fertility issues, you’re pretty screwed. It’s happened to a lot of women I know- otherwise healthy women who never saw it coming. Check out the infertility subreddit sometime. Most didn’t start trying until their mid-30s. If having children is a must have in your life, like it is for me, there’s no way I…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 06:11 PM
7

Oh man. I would really recommend talking to people in your life with children. Being “tied down” with a wife and house is night and day to being tied down with a child. Every day of your life will be different. It’s pretty hard to express in words. But you have a tiny helpless baby who has to be taken care of 24/7, who eats every few hours, who fusses and wants attention, who wakes you up a lot. As an example, I’ll describe the past 24ish hours. My daughter is 8 months old. She woke up at 2am sc…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 01:00 AM
9

I’m confused by you saying you don’t want to pressure him while also basing your timeline on the date in which you’d divorce him if he didn’t want to have a baby. I think you should have set the timeline significantly earlier and that you’ve added a lot of pressure to the situation by already bringing divorce to the table. I think this should be a lesson in not setting timelines with your spouse based on your walk away point. I got a similar ultimatum from my husband and it’s why I had a baby ea…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 12:00 AM
21

It can happen. But an unbelievable amount of women in my life got totally surprised by fertility issues or, in my case, a very complicated birth that means I need more time between pregnancies. If it’s very very important to you to have multiple kids, I personally wouldn’t risk waiting until I’m in my 30s. That’s just me though.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 07:48 PM
13

To be fair, they agreed to a timeline and now she wants to move it up. If they were closing in on the 28 mark and he was still using the money excuse, I’d agree with you. But it could be that the guy wants another year to year and a half to have fun before being tied down with a child. It’s possible he’s one of those guys who will push it off until it never happens. Or it could be that he needs a bit more time and they’ll still make it fit her original timeline, not the new one she’s trying to p…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 06:47 PM
51

I would check in to see if he still agrees with the timeline of having a baby when you’re 28. The reality is, that was your agreed upon timeline and now you want to move it up. Money is just an excuse- he isn’t ready. Make sure he’s still ready for the timeline you guys already set up because I agree that that’s really the latest you want to start trying if you want multiple kids. My husband pressured me into having a child before I was ready. It has been incredibly hard to recover from that in …
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 06:33 PM
9

Please don’t tell more experienced, married women with children to “remember to know your place”. That is very condescending, particularly when it comes from someone very young who is not engaged or married.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 09:25 PM
10

This is exactly my husband. He would much rather I let the house get a little messy and eat frozen pizza for dinner than have a run down, exhausted wife who’s always in a bad mood and doesn’t want sex. There are seasons of life where you can’t do everything and have to prioritize what’s really important to keep your marriage healthy.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 06:09 PM
37

What is the highest priority really depends on the relationship and the man’s priorities. Also, I’m fascinated by the comments that say he brings more to the table- I definitely feel we are equals in what we do for each other. For us, my ability to bear children, breastfeed, and raise them is 100% the biggest thing I bring to the table. I had a rough pregnancy (hypermesis gravidium) and bad emergency c-section so my husband’s gratitude for this might be higher than if everything had gone smoothl…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 04:56 PM
9

I’m going to be clear- I don’t think you are the only problem in the relationship. I don’t think your partner is as perfect as you believe. I’m not saying you’re an innocent lamb either. and it’s hard to fully understand the situation because you seem to view him through strong rose tinted glasses. I’m concerned about your ability to vet. I also come from an impoverished background and wealth and the promise of stability can be dazzling. I’ve seen women get themselves into bad situations through…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 06:42 PM
14

I expected this exact response based on your post history. You seem to have cripplingly low self esteem and have placed your partner on a pedestal. Add in your poverty level compared to his wealth and you have the perfect storm for a toxic relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 06:16 PM
18

I’m gonna be brutally honest- the more you post, the more I get the sense that something is very wrong in this relationship. Not sure if it’s you, him, or both. You’re at a point where you think wanting a birthday gift is a problem. That’s not good. I’d be interested to see the perspective of an endorsed contributor, not just on this specific post, but all the posts you’ve made and your relationship dynamics as a whole. From my perspective, they do not seem healthy.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 06:10 PM
8

Finding a loving, supporting, and (very importantly) intergenerational church community is one of the greatest ways I’ve seen to do this. Of course you have to be Christian so I know this isn’t for everyone. But it can work great if you are or are interested in learning more about Christ. I go to a church where most of the adults’ grown children are Christian. There are tons of people my age (mid 20s) and their parents are members of our church and raised them in that church. It’s an incredible …
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 02:03 PM
11

This is one of the reasons RPW argues for marrying a man who is not just a pure alpha but a healthy mix of alpha and beta characteristics. The risk of marrying an alpha is that they are much more likely to cheat and/or “trade you in” when you get older. A lesser alpha or greater beta is not nearly as likely to do that. There’s a good theory post about this but I don’t have time to find it. It’s on the sub somewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 03:58 AM
8

I was fine with working until having children- I quit at 6 months pregnant. But I would not be fine with going back to work when the kids are in school. There’s still a lot to do. The kids are done school at around 3- I’d have to leave them with a babysitter or in an after care program, which I don’t want to do. It would be a scramble to figure out childcare on days they’re sick. If my kids are involved in sports or activities, there’s tons of driving to do once I’m done work, leaving very littl…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 04:24 PM
20

What makes a man a HVM is often dependent on what you as an individual want. For example, I’m Christian so a man being christian and devoted to his faith raises his value to me. I wanted to be a SAHM (which I now am). I want 3-4 kids. I wanted to own a home to fit all those kids in our medium cost of living area (which I now do). This wouldn’t be possible with a man who makes 50k. So yeah, money was an important factor in making a man high value to me. Was it the most important factor? No. My hu…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 12:14 AM
12

He is not high value and from what you’ve written, has no potential to become it. At least not while he’s comfortable with his live-in girlfriend. Men who lack internal motivation will only bring you down. If you have to push him to change anything about his life, he is going to view you as a mother figure and resent you. You will resent him for having no desire of his own to improve. You blame the lack of male role models growing up- while this is obviously serious, he’s 27 years old. He’s had …
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 02:08 PM
9

It’s definitely important to keep family planning goals in mind with this. We want 3-4 kids and it’s been well worth it to us to sacrifice some financial security to be able to have the family size we want at the pace we want. We decided to strike a middle ground where we have a good financial situation, though not perfect, and we’re still young enough to easily have all the kids we want at a reasonable pace barring any unforeseen medical issues. Not knocking your approach by the way! Just comme…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 01:10 AM
13

He’s a computer scientist. I quit my job at 6 months pregnant and 25 years old. He makes ~125k including bonus in a medium cost of living area. I had ~60k in loans (lol had no idea I wanted to stay home), he had none. The loans are paid off- we started living on his income and putting my entire salary towards the loans when we were engaged.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 06:28 PM
3

Dating is vetting. It’s a standard redpill concept. If you don’t believe in vetting this probably isn’t the right place for you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 07:03 PM
20

There’s definitely two lines of thought here. The reality is that miscarriage rates are high in the first trimester. You could, very sadly, experience this. If you would regret quitting in the event of a miscarriage, I’d wait. But I fell for that line of “don’t quit until the second trimester!” and I seriously wish I quit the day I got a positive test. I wanted to leave my job anyway so even if I miscarried, I would have been fine without working. And I was sick during the first trimester. Threw…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 06:22 PM
1

It’s a discussion of how do you realistically meet men’s desires throughout a lifelong relationship. “No duty sex” is insufficient for many, many marriages. That isn’t arguing against men’s desires- it’s reality. So…. What do we do about that as RPW? How do we deal with it? I’ve seen this topic come up many times on this subreddit and women are always shut down with basically “go see a doctor” or “that isn’t what men want”. Okay…. My husband wants me to desire him, I cannot do that due to reason…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 12:44 AM
3

While it certainly isn’t everyones experience, a significant sex drive decrease following childbirth is very common. The stereotype exists for a reason. Many women, including myself, also do not see it coming because they had a high sex drive before and during pregnancy. The point of my post is more general than postpartum though. Ideally, our marriages will last a lifetime. Over the course of a lifetime, it’s common for women to lose their sex drives for any number of reasons that is outside he…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/21 11:25 PM
8

Fully agree with this. As a married woman who is breastfeeding a baby following a very traumatic delivery… this aspect of the post doesn’t resonate. The simple reality is that most women don’t want sex very much during the first 1-2 years postpartum. My husband and I want 3-4 kids…. so that’s a lot of our life together. Many comments I’ve seen from users on this sub, typically who have not been with their partner more than 5 years and who don’t have children, just say “go to a doctor”. It isn’t …
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/21 12:18 AM
2

While it’s technically true that serious illness and death can happen at any time, we both know it’s disingenuous. OP is seeking a marriage and father to her future children with a man in his mid-50s when she is 29. His life expectancy is probably somewhere around the time her kids graduate college. She needs to take the reality of aging very seriously, much more so than someone who doesn’t want children. And the reality of that is that aging comes for everyone no matter how fit or healthy. When…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 08:29 PM
8

“but she swears up and down that I will age gracefully” Respectfully, she has no idea if this is true. She doesn’t have a crystal ball. I know 4 men in their mid-60s who have gotten prostate cancer in the past 2 years. They can never have sex again. My dad has had many friends drop dead in their mid 60s to early 70s despite living healthily. While this can technically happen at any age, the likelihood of serious illness or death occurring is much higher as you age. You also don’t seem to have ch…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 05:08 PM
22

I’d urge you to deeply consider the aging process and if you are able to handle that. Have you seen aging up close before? If you marry him, you will likely be a widow in your 50s/early 60s and your child(ren) will likely lose their father when they’re teens or in their early 20s. Your kids will never remember a time their father was not a senior citizen. There is a good chance he will lose the ability to have penetrative sex in the next ~15 years. His drive will likely plummet in that time as w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 04:30 PM
6

I am 6 months postpartum and haven’t been able to lose all the baby weight. I didn’t shower yesterday. I slept so poorly last night and for the past 4 nights. I’m in pretty ugly pajamas. My husband saw me 5 minutes after waking up, desperately clutching a cup of coffee while my daughter played next to me in bed. He looked at me and said “I know this is probably hard to believe but you look so good right now”. Love goggles are the only explanation. They’re very real and so important for maintaini…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/21 02:36 PM
31

I find gaming to be a complete and total turn off. Call me judgmental or whatever. But it is what it is and there’s really not much I can do to change that. I’ve known so many men who get completely consumed in games to the detriment of everything else around them. I think many women feel similarly to me and try to force their men to fit into the box they want them to. But I think it would be wrong to attempt to change a man and take away a hobby. So I married a man who doesn’t game and explicit…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 03:28 AM
5

To your point of who are these men- I know many. Due to my family, I run in social circles where men make 7 figure salaries with equivalent bonuses. None of their wives worked once their children were small and they would not have been okay with it. While it’s definitely far from an exact formula, I know in my own personal life the type of men OP is going for. They generally don’t want a wife who goes to work, especially when children are involved. Pre-kids is one thing and is a doable scenario.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 10:14 PM
2

Both early 20s! So a bit different than a typical RPW relationship as he was young.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:55 PM
8

I think youre confusing being smart with being career-oriented. A lot of people make this mistake. There are very smart, highly educated women who don’t really want to work. I am one of them. I’ve worked in various research labs, have many peer-reviewed publications in an interesting STEM field, and quit to be a SAHM. I can explain to my children everything they want to know about the world…. during the 7 days a week I’m home with them. A guy making 500k a year can find a wife who’s both educate…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:20 PM
11

I think your reply here really shows that you don’t know why men value wives who stay at home. I don’t know any housewives/SAHMs who spend all day long just cherishing their children. That’s not really how it works. When it comes to the kids, he wants you to raise them. Not just spend all day loving on them. Disciplining them, setting them on schedules, feeding them healthy meals, giving them plenty of exercise, letting them explore the world and their interests. HVM like you’ve describing usual…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 06:56 PM
2

Probably not a great idea when you need to maintain a milk supply.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 09:05 PM
28

I see you had your baby in August. Please give yourself time. I know we’re all about self-improvement here and I’m not dismissing the importance of maintaining a healthy weight- but there are moments in life where that can’t take precedence. Less than 2 months postpartum is one of them. My daughter is 6 months old and I’m still hanging on to 20lbs. I unfortunately cannot calorie cut without a significant drop in my milk supply. I’ve tried several times and every attempt has ended in me needing t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 03:09 PM
1

Lol yes
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 11:05 AM
8

I remember your previous posts where you are on the extreme end of frugality, to the point where you don’t want your (seemingly wealthy) fiancé paying for things like yearly vacations. Have you been discouraging in the past about him spending money on you?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 12:32 AM
37

Difficult to determine from the information provided. Are you going out on dates with people and they’re flaming out? Do you have friends and a decent social circle? Are you constantly working? Do you think you could give off a vibe of being too independent or condescending? The problem with seeking advice on this could be that you have total blindness to the flaw(s) that are preventing you from getting into a good relationship. Do you have anyone in your life who you think would be honest with …
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 08:39 PM
3

Does she actually want to pursue higher education or does she feel pressured to find a path by you? Putting all of the time and effort into building an education and career only to turn and become a SAHM can be very, very stressful for women. I did that and it has had negative repercussions on my life. It’s like whiplash- putting all your energy into something that will ultimately make no difference in your life in the long-term. Not putting enough energy into preparing to be a homemaker and bui…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/21 04:44 PM
5

From my perspective as a SAHM and bachelors degree holder, whether or not she should continue is entirely dependent on how far along she is and if she’s taking debt out to do it. If she’s 1 year in and will have to take out 40k in loans to get a degree she’ll never use, it might not be worth it. I personally don’t really care to show my daughter and future children my degree on the wall. I don’t even know where the diploma is and I’ll probably never hang it up. If I did, it would be to point to …
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/21 05:42 PM
1

Christian should not marry non-Christians. It’s pretty clear in the Bible- do not be unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 is extremely clear. 1 Corinthians 7:14 is constantly taken out of context. It’s referring to already married couples where one member becomes Christian and one does not. Marriage is meant to glorify God. It’s a depiction of the relationship between Christ and His Church. This can’t be done if there’s only one believer in the marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 06:12 PM
5

This is just what I was looking for! I’m going to start implementing TOMM, thanks so much!
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 04:07 PM
3

Great comment.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 11:20 PM
8

Don’t have kids before marriage. Ive never seen it work well. It can but it usually doesn’t. Most men (not all!) need to have an incentive to get married. Marriage does not favor men. If you live with a man, and have a kid with a man, why would he ever marry you? That’s how you end up being a woman who has been engaged for 5 years with no wedding date set. Get married at the courthouse and have the party whenever you want. But file the paperwork before having the kid.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 11:19 PM
11

Do you have any recommendations for cleaning schedules, particularly for SAHMs? I became a stay at home mom and home owner within a few months of each other. We went from a small 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment to a large 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house. I’ve never learned how to clean efficiently and now I’m trying to keep a large home clean while caring for my infant. It’s not going well and both my husband and I are unhappy with the state of the home. Trying to find resources to really deep dive …
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 07:19 PM
3

If you lean towards keeping the baby now, you likely will even more when you’re pregnant. The hormones and protective instincts are so strong. I am pro-life and I would not abort a baby with genetic issues. My husband is on the same page as me. There are men out there who agree with this.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/21 07:14 PM
3

Yep. I only have one so far and feel this way! Our baby is really needy and just will not nap so I get very little time to myself. My husband really wanted a dog before our first was born but I convinced him to wait- now he’s fully on board with getting a dog only when our youngest child is somewhat self-sufficient. The only needy creatures I want to add to our home in the next several years are babies lol
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 01:43 AM
18

Eh, I’m a SAHM and I personally find caring for my daughter in and of itself to be difficult. It’s different when there are no weekends off, no vacations, no sick days, and you don’t clock out. The all consuming nature of it can turn it into more of a grind. Don’t get me wrong, I love staying at home and the time with my baby is precious. But the household management piece is not the main differentiator to me.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/21 04:51 PM
36

I did it so it’s definitely possible. But not easy. For me, I needed to accept Christ and become Christian. I needed to repent for my past sins and truly feel bad for my past wrongdoings. Not feel bad because they hurt my chances at a good marriage and life. But feel bad because they were wrong. Church attendance is a good start if you’d like to learn about Jesus and what it means to follow Him. It isn’t enough to being saved though- I’d love to go into this further if you’d like, just let me kn…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 12:11 PM
35

My husband was a very close friend before we got together. We got together in order to date and build a relationship. This man has explicitly stated he wants a no strings attached arrangement. Going into an agreed upon friends with benefits relationship with the hope of turning it into a real relationship is a terrible idea.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 08:12 PM
25

I am going to assume you’re a man if you think a FWB relationship holds the same value as an LTR. This is red pill women and being friends with benefits with a man decreases a woman’s RMV. Increasing RMV is a primary purpose of this subreddit.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 08:10 PM
2

Yeah that ratio is a really good tip. I’m 5’7 and 135lbs is when I look and feel best. Not that weight right now at 4 months postpartum though 😭
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 02:28 AM
2

Awesome, glad I could help!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 04:10 PM
15

I like the general idea but saying that you send pictures to “people you feel really close to” is going to give him the impression you’re either actively sending pics to other guys or have in the past. I don’t think most men would respond well to this. I’d say something more like “I’d really like to get to know each other better before sending pics :) hope you don’t mind!”
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 03:50 PM
14

Yes, I’d advise you to wait until you’re farther into your weight loss journey. I lost about 60lbs and was quite a bit into it when I started dating my now-husband, who is a HVM by a lot of people’s definition (six figure income, supports me as a SAHM, tall, attractive). We were friends for awhile before dating so he saw that I was putting the work in and even though I wasn’t where he wanted me to be looks wise, he saw my effort and trusted I’d get to a better place. So you don’t have to be perf…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 07:55 PM
2

Lol right? Imagine thinking with kids you’ll have time to cook separate meals, run separate loads of laundry, and do chores in “real time” hahahaha
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 11:56 PM
1

He doesn’t sound like a man who could be the spiritual head of your household. He doesn’t sound like a man who will lead you to be closer to God. If you get married, the purpose of your marriage should be to glorify God. Do you feel like your husband would agree with that goal? My mom married a man like this, my father. Lukewarm in his faith. She found herself having to go to church alone. I didn’t want to go because I wanted to stay home with dad. My dad became an agnostic. She, over the course…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 12:04 PM
10

I believe it’s extremely rare for any woman in the ~30 range to look ~20. Much rarer than is discussed on the internet. Men can typically tell when a woman is in peak fertile years and when she’s past them even if she has a great body and has kept a great skincare regiment. Men intuitively sense these things are are attracted to them. So, basically, yes I think age is critical to SMV because I think there are very few 30 year old women who actually look like college students.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 09:57 PM
3

Your household strategy makes no sense in the context of children. If you’re childfree, it could logistically work. With kids? It would result in an overwhelming number of tasks because you aren’t combining tasks and it’s so much less efficient. You say you work 50+ hour weeks. Add a baby to that. You walk in the door at 6:30, youre starving and still need to cook, and the baby’s screaming to be fed. It’s your turn to feed the baby, who takes 45 minutes to eat. Your husband is cooking a meal for…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 05:02 PM
5

Do you want children? You will not be physically capable of doing all chores in “real time” if you have a baby.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 03:10 PM
1

I do not believe most women actually have a “dream job” and most have bought into a fantasy. The vast majority of women I know who have worked hard for that dream job still hate their lives. They realize that their work isn’t what they thought it was going to be and suffer from depression and anxiety because of it. I’m at an age where a lot of my female peers are making career pivots after realizing they hated their career and are now chasing their “new passion”. It’s painfully obvious that even…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 07:25 PM
4

Also just depends on personality. My area isn’t conservative, in fact quite the opposite, but my husband is.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/21 06:47 PM
27

I’d personally ask your boyfriend if he thinks the satin sets are roommate appropriate! My husband would not be up for me wearing clothes like that in front of others. Just a thought!
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/21 01:57 PM
2

Regarding the death thing because it comes up so much in criticizing the SAHM path- life insurance exists. If my husband died tomorrow I’d get 1.25 million dollars from insurance alone. The policy is not that expensive ($90 a month) as he’s young and healthy and the rate is locked in until he’s 65. Million dollar policies can be found for even less. It is not hard or wildly expensive to protect yourself for the event of your husbands death as a SAHM.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/21 11:54 PM
2

You aren’t crazy, at least not from my perspective. I wouldn’t be able to stay with someone like your boyfriend and I’m not super Type A. But there’s no way I could respect a man who is 26 years old, sleeps all day, doesn’t take care of his health, and smokes a lot of pot. I don’t care what his salary is, I’d rather be with someone making 15% less but who acted like a grown man. We all have bad habits but this guys entire lifestyle outside of the fact that he has a good income sounds like one bi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/21 03:19 PM
4

You guys need professional help. This subreddit genuinely can’t help you. I cannot even imagine how it must have felt for your husband to refuse to start a family with you because he just wanted that TT job. I worked in academia and I’ve seen a few couples decide to do that.... and then never be able to have children because they waited too long. You got lucky and you know it and you can’t stand how he didn’t care about you or your family life enough to prioritize it. Your resentment is deep-see…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 11:00 AM
3

You should really read the comments from her because she makes double his income. He’s not the one providing for the family and she certainly isn’t “useless weight”.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 10:40 AM
3

Yes, she makes about double her husband.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 10:37 AM
18

I mean, what type of cushion are we talking about here? There’s desiring financial security and then there’s an obsession with accumulating wealth because you’re terrified. If you’re scared to live on 200k a year, you have a problem.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 01:27 AM
1

It’s not much different than cooking/shopping for 1 except you buy more food, make larger portions, and take the other persons preferences into account.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/21 05:54 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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