~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | I am way too old to feel this way about a woman (post divorce dating)i'm i a situation now with a girl i knew for 10 years while i was married (long time co-worker who became a close female friend), and we used to lay our relationship problems on each other in a platonic way all the time. I got divorced and ended up leaving that job, she broke up with her boyfriend a few months later. we reconnected a year later (so it took a good amount of time with both of us being alone and not pursuing each other) we started hanging out and eventually dating. That is kind of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/24 03:29 PM |
| 2 | I'm dumb...mine monkey branched as well. months of in house separation that she initiated saying "i need space to heal from your abuse", " i don't know if i want to work on it with a marriage therapist" , she even told me "im not going anywhwere, i just need time" and it was all bullshit. she was living in my house and taking advantage of my resources until i finally wised up...about 6 months. it was awful. i filed and moved back in with my mom at 40 because my mom had a place i could stay and still host m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 06:50 PM |
| 3 | STBX skipped court ordered mediation and todays status update court date with the judge. I'm pissed off. Still no closure.for sure. i got a lot more texts tonight chuck full of narcasistic tactics, and attempts to give me deadlines and demands. whacky shit like "ill give you 47k (10-15k south of reality) and start the paper work now. ill give you a few hours to decide then I'm done!!" she even said "i dont know how we're going to be friends after this because of what you are doing". she burned that bridge and has been steady pissing on the ashes for a while now, so that was a new angle that i didn't see coming 😂 to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 02:07 AM |
| 3 | STBX skipped court ordered mediation and todays status update court date with the judge. I'm pissed off. Still no closure.its rare, but we have it in writing from the judge. she has to pay in 30 days. i'd rather not post it, but i wish i could because i do love looking at it 😁 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 01:54 AM |
| 8 | Don't work so hard brothersa fucking men. i was literally in the exact same boat. everything you said, exactly the same except i can't prove she cheated. doesn't even matter. i'm so over that kind of narcissistic control. never again. Now i can work for my kids, and not her cuz i got equal custody. Shes forced to work for them if she wants to keep her half. Poetic justice at its finest. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Well, wife wants to go to the streetsshe stayed for whatever security you provided and because she didnt have a real plan. the female mind at middle age especially, is chaotic and emotional. she wanted a divorce but had no idea what she was in for so she stuck around. you file, and start mentally breaking up with her now of you havent already. divorce is emotional, get over that part fast and stay rational and smart. research a good lawyer, borrow money if you have to, file first. good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/23 10:23 AM |
| 7 | Wife postponed mediation and is text harassing me trying to emotionally blackmail me.i'd welcome a new boyfriend as long as he was good to my kids. my kids aren't stupid and aren't going to tolerate someone who is an asshole to them. They'll tell me at the first sign of trouble. plus it would take her focus off of me. she repulses me now, so i'm good with her doing whatever lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 07:09 PM |
| 4 | Wife postponed mediation and is text harassing me trying to emotionally blackmail me.we drew a judge who is a known hard ass. the judge wanted this wrapped up by today, and now we all go before her on the 17th for what was supposed to be the final judgement. my lawyer expects the judge to eat her and her lawyer alive in front of everyone for last minute canceling with a busy mediator and crowded court docket. This judge does not tolerate any disrespect for the process, and they've already been scolded once for repeatedly talking over the custody referee in court when we were fig… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 07:06 PM |
| 1 | Planning on divorcing my wife... horrified by the fact that I will be single for a long timeshit, young buck, you've got time. you sound like a woman concerned with her "biological clock". you know how many middle aged dudes i know at 40ish are dating girls your age? half a dozen on my FB feed alone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/23 10:45 AM |
| 2 | Planning on divorcing my wife... horrified by the fact that I will be single for a long timemarriage is JUST a contract. you can do all that stuff unmarried if you can find someone else who spit out the kool aid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/23 10:43 AM |
| 1 | Planning on divorcing my wife... horrified by the fact that I will be single for a long timeheal your abandonment issues. google how. plenty of free books and talks out in you tube land to help get you sarted. being single is the best btw. just out of a 23 year relationship last year myself. scary at first, then its gloryous. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/23 10:33 AM |
| 5 | No way I can winthis. mine sunk her self mouthing off in court when the outcome wasn't the same as the one she conjured up in her head 😆 like you said. the judges can sniff that shit out a mile away. especially a female judge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 03:12 PM |
| 4 | No way I can win100% on the 50/50 is the hill you die on. take it from those who have been through it. step it up as a dad from today forward, even if you're already a bang up dad. do everything like the judge is watching you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 03:03 PM |
| 5 | No way I can winif you havent yet, get a lawyer and file!!! women have mid life crisis' and flip on their men. all of their personality disorders come out in full force against you in a last ditch effort to gain some control of their own destiny in their chaotic minds. search this sub...its all too common. stay 100% grey rock with her. as little communication as if possible. take this time to focus on tightening up your finances, your body, and your mind. get and stay sober, watch every penny, get in shape. the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 02:54 PM |
| 2 | If wife wants a divorce, and very adamant about it. (I left the home also “she wanted me to”) but is willing or wanting to go to this marriage counseling. What could this mean or am I over thinking things.let go. that anxiety thing is an excuse to hide out and do fuck all on your dime, while taking advantage of your resources (home, vehicles, bank account, etc) until she can came up with some plan of her own. don't fall for it. she wants to be alone, leave her to survive on her own. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 10:00 AM |
| 3 | If wife wants a divorce, and very adamant about it. (I left the home also “she wanted me to”) but is willing or wanting to go to this marriage counseling. What could this mean or am I over thinking things.some of you sound like you've never actually been through this. get a lawyer and file first and get away from her. its over. get an interim custosy agreement for no less than 50/50. then you move out if you can swing it. i stayed with my mom and had the kids over half the week. she helped a little, but i stepped it up as a dad big time in that period and built up my relationship with them while we waited for the process to end. men ask why you leave you home? you gotta understand what kicking th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 09:05 PM |
| 1 | i moved out...ex racked up 10k in cc debt and wants me to pay it.that is what she will surely end up doing. just like her parents have, her brothers have, and several of her friends have. fucking losers...burdens on society. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 08:57 PM |
| 4 | i moved out...ex racked up 10k in cc debt and wants me to pay it.i slide money to another account and then use all of it to pay the bills in the status quo order. that way she cant spend my money before.i can pay what are essentially now just her bills. she is living in our house, and im living a mile away with my mother in a nice house where i have room for all 3 kids to stay with me half the week. im about to take out a personal loan and get a place of my own and then pay thay off when i get my equity check from the other house, cuz "grandma" thinks shes a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 08:52 PM |
| 6 | i moved out...ex racked up 10k in cc debt and wants me to pay it.i did. she reopened it under just her name in secret. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Chances wife will change her mind?also, dont get wrapped up in the sex part. let your ex go. let her give herself away. don't worry if you're not getting laid. focus on you and the kids. take the time and do the work to get everything the way it needs to be for you. keep your eyes on the prize until its finalized. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 12:09 AM |
| 2 | Chances wife will change her mind?get over her fast. if she doesnt want you anymore, cut her off fast. women can flip like you wouldnt believe when they hit middle age. she is the damaged one here. she is wearing her trauma responses on her sleeve. its easy to feel like less of a man when your wife wants to be fucked by another man. it hurt when my ex did it, but as soon as i knew, she was dead to me. she is doing it for the reasons that others stated. she will only be left feeling empty and used. no man is going to swoop into t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/23 11:34 PM |
| 2 | Wife is divorcing me, what now?this. stuff always comes back over time. The more you fight, the more the lawyers get paid, the more the ex feels in control of your emotions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 10:19 AM |
| 1 | Wife is divorcing me, what now?Google lawyers in your area and look at the reviews. I got lucky and there was a guy literally 2 blocks from my house, who had like 45 all 5 star reviews. I went with him. Its not finalized yet, but we're "winning". i got the 50/50 custody that i wanted despite my ex wife 20+ pages of documented incidence of me being a "bad guy". Really there was nothing illegal i did, no physical abuse, no cheating, so the judge gave less than a fuck about any of it. my lawyer kept telling me not to sweat it. H… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 10:14 AM |
| 6 | Wife is the one who wants out, but is putting forth no effort to proceed with the divorceALL women want to have their cake and eat it too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 11:26 AM |
| 1 | Gents, what did you do that was definitely "wrong" to cause your marriage to end?i wasn't being a man. I didn't speak up when my needs weren't being met. I let my wife do a lot of the "leading" of the family because i was more concerned with tying on a buzz. I hid things in shame (drinking, cc spending, porn) I abused alcohol and it caused me to be emotionally unstable at times. All of these things were trauma responses of some kind, learned behaviors from being raised fatherless, or the results of bottling up of emotions. I was unhappy in my marriage, stressed out from bein… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 11:23 AM |
| 1 | How do you know if your attorney isn't doing enough?are you in a no fault state? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 11:09 AM |
| 2 | Dad committed Suicide after parents divorce of 18 years.I'm so sorry that happened. Traumas are the cause of every addiction and every self abusive act. Sounds like he got an extra large portion of trauma in his life. Alcohol is the worst drug to couple with emotional problems. Alcohols effect is AMPLIFIED EMOTION and ATTENUATED JUDGEMENT, 100% of the time. It makes suicide way more likely as a result of that fact. Prozac and the like are only a temp solution to controlling extreme depression, and should only be used with extreme caution and coupled … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 11:07 AM |
| 5 | Wife is the one who wants out, but is putting forth no effort to proceed with the divorceYou file, and do it now. She wants you to be the bad guy by filing. I'm guessing that she wants to bask in your perks (whether it be financial, emotional, or otherwise) as long as possible while she figures out some kind of plan for herself. If she said its over, than its over. Get the ball rolling asap so that eventually, she will be cut off from whatever you're offering her. like a place to live. my wife separated from me, and then for like 9 months (While living free in the house i pay all th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 10:56 AM |
| 3 | Ex is ordering an appraisal on my home but won't give me access to the appraiser. It will probably not happen before court. What will happen?we all feel that way about "marital funds", trust me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/23 09:52 PM |
| 2 | ex wife compiled a 10 page list of everything remotely close to bad i've done since 2020.that is what i have been doing. stupid shit like this tends to derail my head for 24 hours, then i come back to reality and realize things aren't that bad. that is why i come here to vent/discuss. I still need to join a gym to get access to some weights and machines, but i'm already 40lbs down, and got my six pack abs and toned up body just from body resistance exercises at home. that shit helps exponentially. being able to look in the mirror and get excited about how you look certainly keeps yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/23 10:39 AM |
| 3 | ex wife compiled a 10 page list of everything remotely close to bad i've done since 2020.third time was the charm for me. i had two pretty lame therapists that didn't make me inspired to do anything but feel bad about myself. no progress was made. then i found the one i've been seeing for years now. He is very no-bullshit, and good at what he does. He managed to get so much shit out of me that i never dealt with from childhood and my teen years. he also told me for years "dude, shes gunna leave you if you don't stop drinking". I just didn't do it until she did leave me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/23 10:34 AM |
| 1 | ex wife compiled a 10 page list of everything remotely close to bad i've done since 2020.to be clear, the relationship was 22 years. the marriage 15. the problem parts the last 3-4. i drank before that time but it was normal, few drinks a week type stuff with maybe a binge sesh with the boys 3 or 4 times a year camping or a party or whatever. it wasnt until 2020 just before covid where i started hitting it hard. we had our 3rd child in mid 2019. she wanted 3, i wanted 2. every date night ended with her in tears because she would bring it up and i'd say no. i finally gave into the pr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/23 03:35 AM |
| 0 | ex wife compiled a 10 page list of everything remotely close to bad i've done since 2020.so just lay back and take it eh? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/23 12:22 PM |
| 1 | ex wife compiled a 10 page list of everything remotely close to bad i've done since 2020.i get that. however i worked my ass off to fix everything and get out of that hole. She has done nothing to fix herself and her many unresolved traumas that had nothing to do with me. i don't play the victim. i know what i did. however, you can't hold someone prisoner to their past forever. you know that if you're in recovery too. people can and do change when they work for it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/23 12:09 PM |
| 0 | i fought for, and got my 50/50 custody. Its looking like i may have to admit defeat and take 70/30.day care is a hard no. my kids and i talked about it. I stay as honast with my kids as i would an adult. nothing is sugar coated. i want my kids to grow up with a sense of reality instead of being blindsided by adult life when they come of age. my ex already filed an appeal and is hellbent on dragging this on until she gets at least 70/30. for me with 70/30, i can afford it, i can handle it, and it will be easier to get my life back on track financially and socially, and with my mental health. t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/23 11:02 AM |
| -1 | i fought for, and got my 50/50 custody. Its looking like i may have to admit defeat and take 70/30.70/30 would be best for them, and thats the hard reality i'm facing. its not about me or money. its a difference of 36 hours a week from 50/50. but it would be less moving around and no more calling in favors to others to make it work. i can take that extra day and work a side hustle or my even just my regular job to provide more for them. at the end of the day, my main role is to be a provider for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/23 02:03 PM |
| 0 | i fought for, and got my 50/50 custody. Its looking like i may have to admit defeat and take 70/30.this is one thing i am not worried about. her and i might not see eye to eye on much, but i will give her credit when it comes to one thing. Shes hellbent on the notion of "its always the boyfriend" when it comes to abuse/murder cases where something happends to the children of a single mom. her mother was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. She is extremely protective about what men are around our girls. plus the kids love me enough to where its going to be one hell of an uphill battle for some… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/23 12:18 PM |
| 1 | Would you marry again?Monogamy is a good idea. Marriage is a terrible idea. It is an archaic and obsolete concept. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/23 10:44 AM |
| 1 | Seeking anecdotes about spouse who moved too far away to make 50/50 custody possible.thanks. my ex got denied sole custody which she had no chance or basis to get. We're still forced to live together until some things happen, but shes being a sore loser and being as passive aggressive as possible at every turn in front of the kids. i'm getting most of it on tape just in case. I don't want to pay her a dime because she doesn't deserve it. the kids can have it all, just not her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Wife threatens suicide if I leaveleave and get a restraining order. lundy bancroft, the anti-domestic violence author says if men say that they are going to kill themselves, that they really intend on killing themselves AND YOU. so to me, the same thing applies to women doing this. really it is a control/manipulation move. call her bluff by leaving and getting a restraining order. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 01:36 AM |
| 2 | Seeking anecdotes about spouse who moved too far away to make 50/50 custody possible.i want to hear more stories about people getting 50/50 no child support or maintenance dispite her not working. that sounds amazing. i'm literally praying for that here in michigan right now with my case. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 01:34 AM |
| 1 | STBX is fighting dirty in custody battle.quick update: court referee ruled in favor of joint custody. they pretty much said they read her complaint, and asked if there was ever any domestic violence. her lawyer said she never called the police. that was good enough for the ref to be like "ok thats nice, well you are both claiming to be doing all the parenting, so obviously you're already doing joint custody, so joint custody it is". friend of the court will contact us individually and they'll come up with a schedule. but most important… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/23 06:00 PM |
| 1 | STBX is fighting dirty in custody battle.they have those!? im curious how i'd do. ive been really taking care of myself lately. 6ft 2, 180. super lean. when i quit 10 months ago i was 225. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/23 06:18 PM |
| 3 | What is the psychology behind a man tolerating a bad marriage?mine was number 5 peppered with fear of continuing a lineage of divorce that plagued both my wife and I's families. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 10:25 AM |
| 1 | STBX leaving "how to recover from toxic relationships / abuse / narcassistic abuse, how to coparent with a toxic ex, etc" books out in plain view of my 3 kids all the time. when confronted about it, she says "don't talk to me".you might be missing my point. its not about the books, its about whats printed on the covers. in my eyes its the same as leaving pieces of loose leaf out with the words "your father is an abuser" written all over them in places where my kids WILL see it, and yes, they totally know whats going on, i can see it in their coping mechanisms. Shes fighting for FULL custody right now (which she doesn't stand a chance on), so i'm asking if this is something even worth documenting, in order to prove tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 02:07 AM |
| 1 | Separated and wife is rounding 3rd baseits sad when you see peoples true colors show. Just do the right thing for you and the kids. Document everything. What shes doing doesn't look good in family court. Shes doing what she is doing to fill a "void" in her life, but she may soon realize that what she is doing is empty, and regretful. She has lost her innocence and purity in your eyes, so she is no longer desirable. it just takes a while for that to sink in. My wife did what she did maybe 3 weeks ago, and i'm already totally over it. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/23 12:58 PM |
| 1 | Separated and wife is rounding 3rd basemy stbx did the same thing. she had a one night stand (just one that i know of ) a week after i filed for divorce. She was the one who decided she wanted to end it, but wouldn't file because she was afraid of loosing her security. I'm in the process of trying to move out, but we still live together. She hasn't worked in 15 years, Shes on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and is a tik tok addict going through a mid life crisis. She has no plan, but knows she doesn't want it to involve me. Ok f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/23 11:49 AM |
| 2 | Divorce will be finalized today, I feel sick to my stomachshes probably manipulated you into not trusting your own instincts. Sounds like shes a shit person. The kind of woman that thinks its ok to hit their spouse has some screws loose, end of story. You're on the right path by moving on. I'm still living with my stbx and I filed a month ago. We couldn't agree on interim custody, so i had to file a motion for a hearing, now shes on a warpath against me. hang in there. the day will come when this is all behind you forever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/23 11:44 AM |
| 1 | 50/50 custody??at least here in MI, if you work the child support calculator, the difference in child support payments between 70/30 and 50/50 is HUGE. i'm fighting for 50/50 mainly because i can't afford 70/30! i'll be paying like 1300 a month vs like 600 a month with 50/50. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/23 11:24 AM |
| 1 | people who did mediation, how much did they charge?metro detroit baby! Really that was kinda padding it. its actually more like 45-52k depending. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 12:37 AM |
| 3 | Reminder: Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.F'in saved! Great post, and all stuff i needed to read/hear. I've had friends pressure me to date (or even god forbid, get an escort....eeeewe), and i couldn't quite articulate why it doesn't feel right to, but you went and did it perfectly. thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 02:13 AM |
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