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Mentathiel Archive

View 10 posts and 2,146 comments by Mentathiel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

You can find a safe man, but in my opinion it's extremely important that he has strong convictions. As in, he shouldn't be a feminist just because he's in a liberal social circle and he is kind of going with it because it sounds persuasive when everyone you know believes it. He should have these beliefs because he has individually critically thought through these topics and arrived at his own conclusions from his own values. I've known men to go from libertarian capitalist Elon Musk is a genius …
/r/ExRedPill04/05/26 06:44 AM
3

The real stress test is how do males react when you are financially successful So true, my longest relationship imploded when I started working, earning more than him, and in an industry he wished he could be in. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to network through me, let me help him build a resume, study, and work on his dreams, he just got bitter and wanted me to sit home 24/7 instead, bored and available, while he ignored me. Started cheating, drinking more and drunk driving, and doing …
/r/ExRedPill04/05/26 06:28 AM
1

1: If someone is equally attracted to men and women, they'd be dating them 50-50 on average. 2: If somebody is equally attracted to men and women, they'd be dating them 83-17% (with 83% being heterosexual couplings). (assuming 10% of population is gay/bi) 1 is false whether or not it's true that bi people are equally attracted to men and women on average, because even if they were exactly equally attracted, it wouldn't make the pairings 50-50 because of availability of people interested in same …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 06:02 PM
9

Thank you! People miss the forest for the trees on this so much. I'm sure other factors play a role, but even if we eliminated everything else, just this fact would cause a huge gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 07:55 AM
1

Yes, but I am in IT too lol, don't know how I'd feel if my job was much harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:06 PM
1

This is a complex question and people have answered a lot of aspects of it, but I want to emphasize one I haven't seen. Part of patriarchy is presenting women as not having agency. Needing help, tutoring, someone to nurture their emotionalness, to protect them from stress and danger, to think rationally for them, to make decisions for them. We're presented as relatively innocent and helpless beings. We're not innocent or helpless, we're full adults with agency and flaws, like every other adult. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 08:58 PM
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You can make that argument for anything, doesn't mean we should justify and tolerate everything. People can learn the good traits without the bad and that knowledge can be transmitted cross-generationally. It has to be evolutionarily stable, sure, but it doesn't have to be some local maximum we've got going rn just because the journey to the next hill is tough. If we thought like that, society would never progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 06:38 PM
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Well there's individual natural selection, as well as herd. The reason society has basically universally defaulted on things like monogamy over time, is because culturally, it was found to be the best system for the whole. Men having multiple wives may be beneficial for a single man's evolutionary spread, but as a society, it's disruptive and creates conflict, so we've selected that practice out. Not sure this is primarily a herd thing. I think it's women's preference not to share resources with…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 08:00 AM
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There's a bit of a race to the bottom going on depending on a cultural context women find themselves in. For example, if you're in a very patriarchal culture, it might be best if all of you selected against men with patriarchal beliefs and changed the culture. But any individual woman who does that will be punished, because you gain status, attractiveness, and soft power by going along with the social norms. So if all women did it, it would be good, but any individual woman could easily betray t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:26 AM
–

Do you think being an asshole is a genetic trait?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:56 PM
–

If they really crave it, they probably won't stay around if you don't do it, so problem solved. I think there's a lot of people who don't crave it, but just don't know any better, don't have the confidence that they could get anything better, or don't understand the dynamics at play. Especially if they're young. I'd say it's an orange flag for sure. Would be red flag if it was less common, but I think it's most people..
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:56 PM
8

Women with similar cognitive patterns probably. Also autistic, gifted, ADHD, neurotypical women with autistic traits like tendency towards systematizing and rationalizing, women who prefer direct communication styles. Could also be curious women, who're into psychology, and empathetic and into bridging those gaps in communication. Probably patient. Probably also women in spaces where autism is more prevalent, such as STEM, might be more likely to get together with an autistic person just based o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:33 PM
–

Always offer, usually relent and accept being treated on the first date bc I know men feel pressure to do that, but then I insist on the second date being on me. If I don't plan to see him again, then I'd insist to split the first date bc I don't want to feel like I was taking advantage. But tbh I never went on a first date that didn't result in a second, I always got together with people who I already knew at least somewhat as friends or acquaintances, so there weren't any big surprises on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 09:53 AM
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Sorry for the assumption, thanks for the clarification. But that's not the essence of my complaint. I'm asking can you look at society with the same lens that you look at a single subject/trainee with? With a dog, that dog has one nervous system, and when you reinforce a behavior it is reinforced in that nervous system. With society, you have a collection of individuals with their individual experiences and nervous systems. We transfer ideas to each other, yes, but is that enough to look at us a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:24 PM
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You can't look at men as a group as one single behavioral unit. I mean, there are probably unifying social forces that allow you to abstract them away like that to an extent, but applying extinction burst like that in this context feels off.. Maybe I'm wrong, Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:56 PM
2

As for the comments, consider that many platforms are heavily botted rn with AI comments designed to drive up engagement through division and ragebait. And algorithms may filter comments for you, I think both tiktok and ig show you unique comments based on your profile, so they might know your pain points and reinforce that society sucks by showing you the worst comments. Don't wanna say red pill people don't exist, unfortunately very many of them do, just be careful with engaging with these pla…
/r/ExRedPill14/10/25 06:30 AM
11

Because they have trauma that makes them hate themselves, but they can't figure out why they hate themselves bc the reasons are usually complex, repressed, and rather experiential more than logical. Redpill comes in and tells them they're all losers, makes up this hierarchy of masculinity and evolutionary fitness, and tells them they're at the bottom. Now they feel like they have a reason to be angry at themselves and a framework to consider themselves losers. Evolution in particular is appealin…
/r/ExRedPill11/10/25 12:14 PM
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It's not ok. I can see it if it's giving it a chance for a couple of months to see if attraction can develop, but not having a serious long relationship throughout which you don't feel it at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 08:51 PM
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I think we all objectify people and it's disingenuous to say you don't. Not all of the time, of course, but everyone has thought about someone as purely their job function while in a hurry to get something done and mentally neglected the rest of their personhood, for example. Cashier, mailman, bank clerk, Idk. Sexual objectification is very prevalent during fantasy and masturbation, and even those who imagine way more personality and care about it in their fantasies, usually aren't trying to cap…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 07:02 AM
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Imo objectifying thoughts are fine as long as they're conscious (so they don't seep into unintended things) and not externalized (nobody real is treated or talked about like an object). I'd even say objectifying thoughts are healthy and natural, the problem comes when they seep into how you view and treat people outside of the confines of fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:28 PM
1

That doesn't feel right, but I'll admit I haven't thought all that much on this topic, I could see arguments for both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 07:56 PM
1

Oh, sorry, I skipped the part in parenthesis. I mean, still, how do you do that at a systemic level? Do parents have a choice? What if they don't choose the ratio we need? Do we force it? Secretly?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 04:24 PM
2

Make being gay cool so more bi men opt for it lol ( you are correct, it's just not really solvable in an ethical way imo )
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:52 AM
1

Anything that lives can be killed. Whether it's legal where you live or whether you consider it moral is a separate question.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:42 AM
1

Buying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 08:59 PM
3

Yes, probably, but since that would require killing a certain precentage of the population it's kind of a no-go. Also, the sex ratio evens out by 30 and then sharply declines in the direction of way less men. In less developed countries it evens out even earlier, as boys have a higher mortality rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 08:42 PM
9

He doesn't sound like the type to form his views after detailed critical examination, he sort of goes where the wind blows socially probably. That's why he was kind of left but more centristy and wishy-washy in the Netherlands, because he wasn't left bc he really believed it deep down, but to fit in with the crowd. Going home to a red state, he's surrounded by conservative people, family, friends, neighbors, and he's absorbing their views and rhetoric more. He still sounds unsure when he argues …
/r/ExRedPill27/06/25 07:20 AM
1

I don't want to change mine, but I do like a family sharing a name. Both parents sharing last name with the kids just makes it feel like everyone belongs. But I don't like that women are expected to by default give up a piece of their identity for it. So I don't think it's worth it, but I understand the appeal slightly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 11:09 AM
3

As a female software dev, I can promise you it isn't about gender. This is a class issue and people resent your freedom. And it is very understandable why, being able to wfh is a huge privilege. Being forced to might not be because different things suit different people and their personalities and habits for various reasons, but having the option to do either is a godsend. Especially if you're kind of rubbing it in by complaining about commute. I KNOW, it feels very lonely to not be able to whin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:00 PM
1

It could semantically or legally, but it doesn't tend to conversationally.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 08:39 AM
1

It's called penetrative sex, I've only ever heard weird radfems call it PIV. I don't think it's fair to say "statistically unlikely to give women pleasure", as sexual pleasure can be experienced without climaxing and penetrative sex is pleasurable for most women. The reason it's so commonly engaged in is that it's one of the rare things that brings both partners simultaneous pleasure, and the fact that it's simultaneous makes it intimate and nice, because you're sharing an experience, enjoying e…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:53 PM
7

I don't live in the US, so there's no isle necessarily, we have many parties and shifting policies within them, it's a bit different. I care about value compatibility. This does include some conclusions I want to share, specifically about LGBT-friendly stuff and peaceful parenting primarily. I don't want to abort if I get pregnant, so it's important to discuss that before sex, I don't mind a pro-choice partner as long as they're okay with that. I am relatively flexible on other opinions, but I c…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 03:44 PM
3

Why, mILliOnS oF ReLAtiOnShIPs I was privy to, of course
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 04:44 PM
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What societal advantages do I have over women? Dumb example, if you're attractive you're actually seen as more competent (unfortunately, lookism is dumb), while many people see women as either being able to be pretty/feminine/sweet or smart/capable/assertive, not both. If she is both, she's seen as failing both roles, her assertiveness is undermining her femininity which makes her less attractive and even less morally good in people's eyes, while her prettiness makes you think she didn't have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 12:20 PM
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I would 100% rather be female than male. Not in the sense of gender dysphoria, but in the sense of the amount of respect male vs female bodies receive. Sure, I believe you, and I understand why. I can see men being groped and it not being treated as a big deal, men experiencing more violence to their bodies, being expected to be comfortable changing in public areas, topless on the beaches, etc. Do you recognize not everyone shares your preference though? And some would rather deal with those dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 09:38 AM
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I've talked about it before on this subreddit, my belief is that every coin has two sides. Every privilege comes with a downside, at least for gendered privileges (some things like money are just mostly purely privilege). Having your body seen as worthy of protection, privacy, and respect, comes with a privilege of people automatically granting you those things if you want them, and fighting for you if somebody violates them. But it also comes with a downside that is, if you don't want them, you…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 08:49 AM
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Can you post a survey for intactivism? Women might be less likely to support the movement, I don't know, but from what I've seen, the best predictor of circumcision status of a baby is whether their father was circumcised. I've read countless stories of women in arguments with the baby's father about this, a lot of women post on intactivism subreddit asking for advice on how to convince their partners, and whenever I argue online about it there's a bunch of men who get VERY defensive and upset. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 08:36 AM
6

Healthygamergg is not bad
/r/ExRedPill07/06/25 08:58 PM
2

You sound like there's no other possible evolutionary cause for hiding ovulation. Cuckolding the male is certainly one of evolutionary advantages and probably had a non-0 impact, but it could have had a small impact, consistent with the 4% prevalence of misattributed paternity which seems around the likely rate. Other possible hypothesis include continuous sexual receptivity promoting the pair bond between the sexes soliciting more resources for the children from men, reducing the risk to your p…
/r/MensRights07/06/25 11:22 AM
1

No, he's not, he's telling us that his family is.
/r/ExRedPill07/06/25 06:50 AM
11

His family might not care for that particular reason, that doesn't mean that's the only possible reason for anyone's family to be dismissive. I mean, I do think you have a point that it's often more than just sexism at play in shielding abusers, I just also think we should be careful not to project our own experience and tell others what they can and can't say about their experience, as long as they weren't generalizing it to anyone else.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/25 07:47 PM
1

Population has exploded and many people live in cities of millions. Before, friend vetting was not as necessary because there was community vetting and people at least sort of knew each other or knew if somebody was really bad they'd get infamous. The larger and more concentrated the cities grow, the more worrying stranger danger seems. I am able to change my entire friend group and not run into anyone I know many times over and new groups would never know if I was an asshole. Not to mentioned i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:23 PM
1

Would you date a man who uses marijuana at least once a month? Y Would you date a man who considers himself to be a devout christian? N Would you date a man who dislikes physical exercise? Y Would you date a man who doesn't believe that gay marriage should be legal? N Would you date a man who believes that abortion should be illegal? Y Would you date a man who watches porn at least 3x a week? Y, if it didn't impede his ability/will to satisfy me Would you date a man who lives 1000 miles away? N …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:16 PM
1

Yes, but it's a spectrum. Lying about something the person considers a deciding factor in whether they have sex with you on purpose to get them to have sex with you is very fucked up. This could include lying that you don't have an STD, claiming you're infertile, lying to a religious person that you've never been married and marrying them and having sex so they end up losing their virginity in sin, lying to your partner that you aren't cheating on them putting them in risk of STDs, lying that yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 10:20 PM
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I do wanna split expenses in general in relationships, but for first dates I'd always offer, but not insist if I plan on there being a second date, if they seem to feel strongly about it I don't want to make them disappointed. If they don't let me get the second date though, that would be a deal-breaker level turn-off, as our values probably don't match then.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 10:05 PM
1

One thing you neglect to consider is that looks and wealth are correlated. Rich people can undergo a lot of cosmetic procedures, they're fed better from a younger age, their parents make sure they exercise and learn the value of it, they have more time to exercise and resources for equipment, personal trainers, to travel around the world doing things like diving, running marathons, or whatever else they're into, they can pay for better hairstyles, clothes, personal stylists, cosmetics, etc, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 09:55 PM
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Nobody should be pushed to pursue something they don't want to pursue. Activism with kids should show them that they're able to if they want to and are able to for non-gender related reasons, not that they should or shouldn't. When it comes to medical specialties, that should be handled by a country regulating universities to teach according to the industry needs. Aka you have only a certain number of seats for certain specialties, and if it's a popular specialty, you need better grades etc. to …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 09:39 PM
2

Kind of. I didn't use to, it grew on me over the years. I find it troublesome that many things are collected under the umbrella of feminism. One of the biggest problem is shamey and exclusionary culture, with cancelations and no path to redemption. Another problem is not being willing to even entertain certain subjects, like biological differences between the sexes cognitively, girls developing faster than boys, female privilege and toxic femininity, health problems obesity carries with it, risk…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 08:57 PM
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Vibes are better for people who can do vibes in a way that's safe and pleasant for them. Not everyone can do vibes. Some people are autistic or otherwise undersocialized or afraid of social interaction or rejection, and need to put active effort into practicing these things. Some people have attachment issues and traumas making them impulsively seek relationships or hookups in an unhealthy way, and have to be intentional about it to stop themselves. Some people don't want relationships and stay …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 07:49 PM
2

In my culture, it's also normal and common to live with parents until marriage or moving in with partner prior to marriage, unless you move to a different city for college/work. So I do view it as normal. Since I started working and got my own apartment to live on my own, it did become a bit off-putting, having your own space is very freeing and teaches you a level of responsibility and household maintenence skills. But I am aware that I happen to have enough money and it's a luxury to move out …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 08:23 PM
5

Because they don't see men cheating as a problem.
/r/ExRedPill22/05/25 03:41 PM
1

I don't think it demonizes them. The cop's son was also bullied and seems like a sweet kid. As well as one of the two friends of Jimmy or whatever his name was. So the show went out of its way to highlight that not all victims turn violent. And I don't think it demonizes the protagonist either. It just showcases one of the possible dangers of bullying. Most bullied boys don't victimize others, but some do. Some bullied people will turn their anger outward and harm others. That's an anti-bullying…
/r/MensRights17/05/25 07:35 AM
1

That is very sad. Judging by that thread, it is getting quite a bit of attention, but young boy's mental health and peer bullying in general should get a whole lot more social attention, resources, and work. Not sure how it's related to what I've said, but I don't disagree.
/r/MensRights16/05/25 02:52 PM
2

It wasn't an interrogator, she wasn't there to determine whether he did it or not. She was there to assess his mental state bc to be convicted of certain crimes you have to have had a certain level of understanding of what you were doing when you did it. Children under the age of 7 don't tend to fully understand the concept of death and its permanence and irreversibility. If he was in some way cognitively developmentally stunted or delusional from mental illness, he would not be able to be convi…
/r/MensRights16/05/25 02:51 PM
2

This is disgusting bullying, likely just designed to hurt the author's self-esteem, rather than being genuine opinions. If it is genuine opinions, hybristophilia is a mental disorder and it's incredibly sexist to generalize the sufferers of that to all women. It does predominantly affect women, but a very small proportion of them. And yes, I disavow. This is cruelty and will not help in curbing the incel mindset. I doubt you'll disavow the misogyny of the incels here, which is the reason most wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:11 PM
1

Look at it like Bayesian probability. Let's say that out of a completely random sample of men, there's a 3% chance that a dude is a rapist. Knowing nothing else about this man, he just tells you he has been accused of rape. Out of men who have been accused of rape, how many are rapists? Idk exactly, but definitely more than 3%. Even if you count only those who claim to have been falsely accused (which is going to be almost all of them), probability of him actually being a rapist has skyrocketed …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:01 PM
2

You are scary, but as someone living in a fuckhole of a country, when the justice system doesn't work, you get creative. Society needs consequences to function, I would love it if those consequences were mandatory high quality rehab programs, but when that doesn't exist you can't just let lunatics like that dude run rampant. I hope he got the wakeup call and is better now, or is otherwise too incapacitated to harm others.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:47 PM
1

I'm pro-life, I get a lot of shit from other women for that one. I don't think we're blank slates and there are biological gender differences in psychology, nowhere near as much as redpillers and some right-wingers aspouse, but we're doing ourselves a disservice by ignoring them. Financial hypergamy is real. The needle is slowly shifting, but it's the current state of affairs for sure. And it puts pressure on men to earn more, and that added motivation might contribute to the pay gap. Oh, the pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 09:46 AM
–

It's possible to meet women without cold approaching strangers in public. There are workshops, mutual friends, colleagues, classmates, group travel tours, volunteer activities, etc. I've never went out with somebody cold approaching me and yet I've had no trouble dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:40 AM
1

In an actual fine dining place, as in they decide your courses and there's like 5+ of them and they're all weird gourmet food type of fine dining - no way. I don't like that setting, but the setting is clearly very formal and you don't do random stuff. I don't know if there's a correct polite way to signal attention in that setting, but that might be googlable. In a restaurant that's just a nice pricy restaurant, sure. But I would prefer if you did it as one of us was walking out, it's a bit awk…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:23 AM
1

I have never mocked a guy for dick size. I maaaay have used "small dick energy", I don't remember, but that does sound like something I might say, but it was more of a hip thing to say when somebody sounds insecure during one period in time, I didn't think much of it. If I ever used it, I stopped using it entirely after realizing it's probably hurtful to some people or reinforces the shaming in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:11 AM
1

Idk exactly what he went through, but he seems to think it's a good idea to pursue romantically girls when they're desperate and vulnerable, that they owe him romantic interest, that he should lie about his sexual conquest to appear more masculine, he's upset at Briony signaling away the guard "like a fucking queen" seeming to be frustrated at women having power, he thinks a couple of times she's being manipulative which may be normal given the setting but is also a female stereotype, he says th…
/r/MensRights27/04/25 08:18 AM
2

If a stranger went up to a child and asked them that, I'd call the police. If the child's doctor asked them that while assessing something related to their sexuality, libido, sexual trauma, etc. I think it's a perfectly appropriate question. If it's while acting in a scene depicting something similar to the second scenario (forensic evaluation), I don't think it's a big deal.
/r/MensRights27/04/25 08:05 AM
1

If they're having sex anyway, I'd much rather they understood what rape was, so they could keep themselves and their partners safe. I also would much rather they not have sex that early, I also don't think they're ready for the responsibility and the nuanced communication that having it requires, but sheltering them from realities they will face anyway given today's society is just putting them under more risk. And while I don't think they're ready to have sex responsibly, I do think they're old…
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:00 PM
1

But he's not toxic and evil by nature from birth in the show. His dad has big explosive angry outbursts which he has picked up, he's being heavily bullied at school and the teachers aren't doing much about it (as we see with cop's kid bullying), his best friend is a bad influence who enables him including giving him the knife, his family neglected him and didn't ask him what was going on at school and what was he doing online all day, he's seen misogyny from society around him and from online sp…
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:53 AM
1

His parents laid the blame there, not the show. The show lays blame on: bullying at school, teachers neglecting to react to bullying (as other kids are shown to be bullied and bullies barely get a reprimand), his father modeling explosive anger outbursts at home, his parents neglecting him and not talking about what's going on in school and online, his best friend also being a bad influence and willing to give knife to scare the girl a little, and, yes, a bit of radicalizing content online He ha…
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:44 AM
2

It’s showing how toxic the online space for young lads can get. And it's not only the online space. For Jamie to do this, he had to: experience his father's angry outbursts and learn to act like that too experience patriarchal society in general experience bullying in school and online have low self-esteem have a fucked up best friend who had similar problems as him and encouraged him not have support from adults at school who could catch a hint of him going through all this have a family who ne…
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:31 AM
1

It was off-screen, didn't happen on set
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:24 AM
1

This wasn't made to make men look bad, Jamie is as much a victim in the show as anyone else. The point is how many things had to align to create a perfect storm that would push a child to do this, not that boys are actually prone to doing this on a whim.
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:23 AM
1

Kids should not know what rape is from that age. Kids should not know what bullying and physical violence looks or feels like, at that age. Wtf, he's 14. Much younger kids bully and physically assault each other, they know about that from life. And 14yos are having sex, so they need to know what rape is. Not saying it's a great age to be engaging with this topic, but unfortunately if you don't think 14yos are doing it you probably went to a privileged upper middle class school or something.
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:21 AM
1

The boy also is a victim in the show. People who see him as evil have black and white thinking and have missed the entire point.
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:14 AM
5

Strip-search wasn't on-screen if that's what you're asking, you just see his father's face and hear dialotue. Not only would it be traumatic, it would be illegal to depict a child like that. OP forgot to explain that part.
/r/MensRights26/04/25 08:13 AM
3

Possible new angle of viewing the problem, not necessarily correct, just worth considering: You are anxious in the first place. Redpill gives form to your anxiety. Aka you feel insecure about yourself in general, and if it wasn't for redpill, you'd find another way to put yourself down. You just happened to consume a lot of that content, so your self-admonishing, jealous, toxic, etc. thoughts have a tendency to take redpill shape, but it's not caused by redpill, it's caused by that deeper inner …
/r/ExRedPill23/04/25 08:24 AM
4

Sure, it's a huge turn on for a lot of women to feel desirable, but I don't think it's the core of the fantasy, just a boosting element. You could just as easily imagine it's forbidden because they're married, or there is some caste rule, or they're your boss and it's against the rules and they could lose their career, or whatever, you could imagine them risking or giving up something very major in order to have you, without having to imagine the possibly distressing uncomfortable rape element.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:36 PM
3

Yeeeeeeah
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:29 PM
6

That's a great analogy, thanks! I'll try to remember it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:25 PM
4

I didn't read too many comments on here, so I'm not gonna comment to who's right in that particular discussion, Idk what all of your claims were. Just gonna say, people often get the urge to respond to your implications, rather than to your statement. Posting this stats in a subreddit like this with a Red Pill Man flair on your profile is going to get people assuming you're posting the stats to imply certain things about women and source of those desires. These same people would respond very dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:34 PM
1

Sure, go ahead!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:27 PM
3

Yeah, I'm personally not rly into it, but I have my own weirdness so I empathize with other weirdos. I guess it's not even weird given how common it is, people are just not talking about it, so it sounds crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:12 PM
8

I mean, that's the core of the fantasy, you're being "raped", but you're actually aroused by it and fantasize and masturbate to the idea, so it's not like you're really against it, no? There's layers of awareness. On a literal level, you're aware you're just watching actors. At worst, they're abused and human trafficked and really being raped, at best it's just a job and they might not be very into it at all, they have to act, maybe they kinda enjoy it, but who knows. This layer of awareness you…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:36 PM
7

Have you been to couples therapy? Or are you a couples therapist? Where is your information on couples therapy coming from? I don't really need an answer to these questions, imo they're just something you should reflect on.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:28 PM
4

Imo, if you're directly asked why then you shouldn't lie. But if he doesn't ask, you shouldn't push feedback onto him, it may be unwelcome and actually hurt without any real benefit. If it's something that isn't changeable, it might just create insecurities. If it's some preference other women don't share, he might over-generalize my statement and work to change some neutral or good part of his character that brings him joy. Feedback is good if it's wanted and expected, meaning the person is rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:23 PM
9

Rape fantasies are a common way for women who have been taught a lot of sexual shame and desire suppression to imagine a scenario that arouses them without triggering the culturally instilled shame for wanting it. The fantasy is that they don't want it, and they still get it. That's why the fantasy usually includes men they find very hot and would actually want to have sex with, and not men they're disgusted by and would want to avoid. The fantasy is not about being violated, it's about being al…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:13 PM
1

Citation needed. Ok, I did pull that one out of my ass. But I'd bet it's true. Books are not data, they are words of a person. I'm not interested in hunting citations for you, but that book had citations for its claims iirc (I remember, bc most of the non-fiction I read annoyingly does not even when talking about studies and it's a pain in the butt to hunt them down), so if you wanna find it, it's searchable. You asserted a bunch of bigoted opinions without any evidence, I gave you some info I k…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 07:17 AM
1

Why did women complain about having to marry in order to not starve back in the day if they are so good at obtaining food then? When was "back in the day"? You were talking about "natural environment", presumably hunter-gatherer societies, I doubt you know what women in those complained about. If you mean women in an era where people predominantly lived off the land farming and women weren't allowed to own property... Yeah, I wonder why. They worked those farms as much as the men did, the labor …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:58 PM
2

Women are not capable of obtaining food in a natural environment That's ridiculous. Something like 70% of calories eaten by hunter-gatherer tribes are provided by women gathering, including minor amounts of protein from eggs and small game. Women gather with infants at their breast, pregnant, old, nobody just sits back. Men's hunting is important for a balanced diet, especially as a protein source, but it's very unreliable, it's more of a we don't catch anything for a couple of weeks, and then w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:33 AM
2

There's a general problem of a lack of empathy for people in power. Eat the rich, male tears, white fragility, etc. etc. we tend to imagine it as either impossible or irrelevant when people with some type of privilege suffer. And the left capitalizes on that energy a lot, channeling envy and even sadism into online activism specifically. It has freely cultivated this energy for a long time, maybe it wasn't the dominant message, but it wasn't rejected and pushed out of the movement either, it was…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:07 PM
1

That was nicely put. Imo the first step is removing the stigma from people who do care about male issues. Not all feminists have to care, but it's really bad when somebody does and they're belittled for it, called pickme, gender traitors, or if it's men told they care only in order to be contrarian, or something. We need a way to make people who care about male victims respectable. At least in the left-wing circles, I have no idea how to approach this issue on the right.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 12:36 PM
2

It probably has a biological component, yes. It is also patriarchal. Women will in fact not survive without men. Wdym?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 07:24 AM
3

Yeah, I feel similar. There's a bit of it that's feminism's fault, things like Duluth model or resources taken away from male victims are sometimes done by feminists. But overall, sadly, it was always there, and we just didn't work as hard on it as we should have, yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 07:19 AM
3

I'm not disputing our culture struggles to acknowledge women causing harm and to see male victims as valid and manly. I just disliked the language in the OP, such as "as a result, it's become uncomfortable sometimes even taboo to acknowledge when the harm goes the other way", "it's become difficult even risky to suggest that a woman might be capable of harming a man". This wording suggests that acknowledging women's ability to physically harm men was normal and commonplace and it's been made dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 08:17 PM
-1

Didn't read full post, just came to say that centering female pain isn't the problem. Guys who were physically abused by women were not taken seriously before we had women's rights and activism for female DV victims. It's just the patriarchy. Women can perpetuate patriarchy too. The paternalistic gynocentric aspects of feminism are also patriarchal - viewing women as innocent and in need of protection, and men as tough and able to take it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 05:27 PM
–

Doesn't answer the question, you're baiting a discussion on a different disagreement to avoid it. Likely because your answer is the same as mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 12:17 PM
1

Men are actually more likely to get attacked on the street, y'all are just not as anxious, so that might be a bad example lol. Privilege is just something you didn't have to earn to have it, but is unequitably distributed. Rights are not the same because everybody has them, only certain people have privileges. Most privileges come with a big downside, for example men not being looked at as natural caregivers means they're under less pressure to take care of their aging parents and little childre…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 10:57 AM
1

You don't know anything about my ideology, you stereotyped me based off of caring whether I raise a misogynist and now feel confident that you know when I'm dishonest over text, even though we've never met. And now you're getting worked up about it. Would you rather your daughter end up single and unattractive, but with an otherwise fulfilling life, or be a Stacy, but hate men, look down on them as dumb and impupsive, cheat and lie and have them raise other men's babies, and insult men she finds…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 10:42 AM
4

Okay, but... What if you want to talk about the privilege? It's nice to say that each gender's privileges should just be human rights and we may agree there, but that's not the current state of things. Meaning there's a difference in our life experiences (on average). For example, when a woman gives a really insensitive take about how men should just get over themselves and their loneliness and if they're upset go be vulnerable to their buddy instead of going off killing themselves or something.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 09:29 PM
2

Why would you think he’d do anything but that? Because he still took the 12th test. If 11 weren't enough for him to be sure without testing, I doubt the 12th one helped.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 05:47 PM
1

There's a difference between having a fetish and fetishizing a person. You can have a fetish for a characteristic someone has and have that as your dating requirement, but not fetishize them. Fetishization happens when you get so obsessed with your attraction you start assuming stereotypes or fitting the person into your fantasy, and not seeing them as a real person. I'm struggling to come up with a real example for beards. Black men are fetishized for "ravaging" and being "well endowed", which …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 05:45 PM
1

Gender of my children is kind of not up to me, but I'm pretty confident that I'd do okay with either. The fact that you don't think demeaning and dehumanizing women is a big enough deal to sacrifice anything over is kind of a you problem. If the question was would you rather have him be unattractive or a lifelong drug addict, thug, child abuser, very severely ill, in prison for life, homeless, or something else you consider sufficiently unpleasant, you wouldn't have trouble prioritizing that aka…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:22 PM
2

If this person is not trolling, what I understand them to be saying is that sex as a man vs as a woman is fundamentally different. Men "take" and women "give". So allowing your male partner to "take" from others means he's gaining something. Allowing your female partner to "give" to other men is giving to those other people, not to her. So it's not selfless towards her. This is very weird and convoluted and fucked up view of sex. I suppose I like that in this worldview gay sex is the ultimate fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 11:25 AM
1

B, without a question. I can't imagine worse feeling of failure than watching a child you raised abuse their partners and acquaintances, and teach your grandchildren the same fucked up values.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 11:14 AM
1

Can you conceive of a guy who cares about social norms and has empathy for others, but doesn't know female experience and what might spook us and why? He's the target audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 11:08 AM
–

That you must be big and very muscular That is attractive. Depending on what you mean by "very", not roided up my entire life is the gym style, but yeah. have a stoic face Sometimes it can be attractive, but people are looking to connect with you, so sometimes they'll want you to let them in. be serious People love being silly, having internal jokes, testing each other's wit, it's a huge part of flirting. But it is kind of attractive if you have the self-control to keep it in sometimes, just not…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:59 AM
2

He's had an inner insecurity all along he was not dealing with, but just bearing/coping. Somebody used that to break him down psychologically and build him back up as an idealogue. You know how right wingers use fear of job loss and not being able to provide for family to induce hate of immigrants (they're taking your jobs)? In a similar way, redpillers use fear of abandonment, sexual insecurity, body insecurity, jealousy, etc. to induce hatred of women. You didn't do anything to make him this w…
/r/ExRedPill30/03/25 09:43 AM
4

Yeah, agreed, it's definitely a red flag.
/r/ExRedPill25/03/25 04:22 PM
0

Good bot
/r/ExRedPill25/03/25 10:37 AM
4

I know it feels that if it was so easy to change him in this direction, the reverse should also be possible. I promise you, that isn't true. Unfortunately, he was always a person who was able to be changed in this direction. He maybe wasn't a misogynist, but he wasn't strongly opposed to it if he ended up dipping into redpill, he wasn't anti-misogyny, and as soon as that worldview was helpful for his insecurities, he adopted it. He's not coming back. Not easily, not in a way you should facilitat…
/r/ExRedPill25/03/25 08:13 AM
1

I think all of your three theories are somewhat true. Confusion arises from wanting something rationally or knowing you should and it would satisfy your goals in life better, but having a different emotional bias. E.g. you want normal functional caring partner, but you feel inadequate and like you'd be abandoned, so you go for someone who you feel like needs you and would be dependent on you (couldn't leave you). The other two are I think also somewhat true, but to a lesser extent. I think it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:28 AM
2

I usually don't believe that those are literally your only preferences. It's more of a case of "this is what I am attracted to, so that's the minimum threshold and I'm open-minded about other stuff". Presumably, you would also not be into her being really selfish, hypocrite, an alcoholic, having severe mental health issues, etc. you just don't say that bc who does lol. Her not being a shitty or dysfunctional person is kind of a given. Also, matching values if you want kids, family life, and stuf…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:20 AM
6

If they aren’t lying then why is there such a huge importance forced on women’s looks in modern society? If the overwhelming majority of men really care about companionship why do they care so much about forcing women to look like sex objects. Two things can be true at the same time. You can value your partner being sexy and your partner being fun and safe to be around at the same time. And so many men (and women) are eager to harm women, strip them of their rights and deny them medical care. In…
/r/ExRedPill08/03/25 09:04 AM
4

2% for condom failure is actually following couples who use condoms correctly for a year, and out of those couples 2% get pregnant within a year. Or something like that. I'm not sure the study even makes sure they used the condom every time lol. It's probably a legal liability coverage thing for condom manufacturers, the real risk is probably lower. 3% chance to get pregnant Idk, women are usually more horny and would be more interested in casual sex when ovulating, so maybe that would be higher…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:28 AM
6

except pregnancy which is less than 1% chances with contraceptive methods You would take a 1% chance of getting pregnant with a stranger to get off?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 09:56 PM
10

If you know one lesbian, she probably knows most of the other lesbians in town, have them screen each other
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 10:25 PM
–

The further question for me would then become, 'Is that disconnect natural or is it imposed by society?' Look up data on how dangerous birth is before 17yo or so. Women's pelvises aren't wide enough to pass the baby's head safely. If you look up mean age of menarche history, you'll notice it's going down over time. Likely due to food availability. So women's periods do come a few years earlier than they probably would in natural hunter-gatherer conditions where everyone's starving. Even adult st…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 10:12 PM
6

I've only ever heard women defend single moms from being slut shamed, told their kids need a dad, that they should get off of welfare and do something, etc. etc. I've never heard a woman say you must date single moms, just that you must respect them as human beings. If what you said about single moms was simply that you prefer not to date them as you're not ready for kids, you don't want that complicating the relationship and making her unavailable, or you don't want children at all, that's perf…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:59 PM
4

Yeah. The sad truth is, no matter how much we try to dress it up, people have preferences. And some preferences are more popular than others, it's not a random uniform distribution. And the less popular preferences you fit into, the smaller your potential dating pool will be. People are diverse and unique and there will be women who will not only not mind, but even prefer you. But it is harder to find someone like that for sure. I like scars for example, including ones people usually find ugly l…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/25 06:17 PM
14

Sorry you have to deal with all that. It sounds tough to face so much rejection and pressure to conform with your gender expectations instead of being authentic. Women can reinforce these things just as much or more than men, it's not a woman-man thing, it's all of us growing up within this paradigm. That being said, there's a whole host of alt women obsessed with things like visual kei and kpop scene who enjoy more androgynous looks, but it's niche. A lot of women will dismiss you as not mascul…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/25 04:26 PM
5

Yeah, I mean, first of all women aren't a monolith and most people are sexist against both sexes. Men have not been allowed to break out of their gender role as much in many ways. I wouldn't really look at words of one woman and actions of another as contradictory, unless the former is saying that other women never harm men, bc that is definitely false. Second of all, some women are absolutely hypocritical on this unfortunately. Some do it completely consciously. Some are just talking about the …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 08:26 PM
3

I'm gonna try to respond to the second part of your comment in the most sensitive and diplomatic way possible without being dishonest because I know it's an emotional topic, probably for both of us. Thanks. I think that women have more emotional empathy, but not necessarily more cognitive empathy. There's a concept in psychology called affective empathy. This is involuntary mirroring of the other person's emotions. Women are on average much better at this. There is also what is called cognitive …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 08:19 PM
2

I think it's important to point out that men with power generally don't make decisions to benefit other men. Men with power have a lot to gain from exploiting male labour, so that's generally exactly what they end up doing. Yeah, the extent to which feminists imagine gender-based in-group loyalty goes is insane, especially in men, but it women too. I'm not saying it's non-existant, but it's ridiculous when people Pikachu face when women vote conservative. I'm very unsure about my stance on this.…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:33 PM
3

The "she fucked her way to the top" stereotype is super-common. As well as using men's feelings to elicit favors from men perceived more as "beta". A man asking a stupid question for example is him just being kinda slow, a woman asking a stupid question is her being a master manipulator using the fact that people will come to her aid to "cheat" and gain knowledge quicker without putting in the work. The discrimination thing is another layer of me not only having to fight perceptions of women not…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 09:33 AM
1

I think power is a very individual thing and analyzing it at the level of groups breaks my brain a bit. Men as a group do have certain advantages and disadvantages compared to women because our societies tend to treat us differently based on gender. I'm comfortable saying that. But "men have power" just feels wrong, men aren't a coherent mass of people deciding stuff together. Some men have power, some don't. A woman who is on the board of directors of a big company definitely has more power tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:22 PM
2

What would be some examples of benevolent sexism towards men you would give that you think would resonate easily with people? Like, if somebody who is dismissive about it asks for examples, what would be some quick ones that you think would be recognizable to them from themselves or the men in their lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 08:23 PM
6

Yeah. I thought you might be hinting at the definition of privilege, which is unearned advantages, and one could argue they are "earned" by paying the price for them sort of societally. But the fact that nobody gets a choice kind of makes it not quite earned, more like forced upon. Idk if privilege is the perfect word for it, but as long as we both understand what is talked about, it's fine. I appreciate you highlighting the double standard that sometimes exists with acknowledging how men are vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 06:13 PM
8

Well, kind of. I mean, I would say men have both privilege and are victims of benevolent sexism. Is it a privilege to be looked at as more of a natural leader? Well, sure, if you want to go for leadership it can be. If you don't, then maybe you're looked down on, misjudged, and put under a lot of pressure. Is it a privilege to not be shamed for having sex? For sure, yeah. But if it comes with pressure to have a lot of it, be experienced, have an abundance mindset, talk about women a certain way,…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:31 PM
1

I think women don't like how this is framed in these spaces. Do a lot of people have a rebellious phase in their teens and look for partners and friends who enable that? Yes. Do all women and girls look for that in their youth because they're genetically wired to seek out alpha DNA before settling down? No lmao. Some women always go for nice guys and have no problems of the kind you've described. Some women go for nice guys first, but then have an episode with more of a "bad boy" later because i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:24 PM
14

Imo it's both. The fact that many people exist who think I should be provided for, makes it more likely I can afford to earn less money, focus less on career, be paid for on dates, and a bunch of other benefits. On the flip-side, it also means people will think a promotion or a pay increase are not as important to me, that I should be focused on having kids and not a career, that my partner is lame if I pay for them, that I earned my position as a favor from men who want to "provide" by giving m…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 04:39 PM
1

I'm not trying to fault men for having these anxieties, it's perfectly reasonable given all of the pressure to perform, and please, and score, and be successful, and experienced sexually etc. etc. I'm just trying to say, finding the perfect chaste virgin woman who can't compare you with anybody else and has not even thought a sexual thought before you will still not cure these anxieties. It's an attempt to externalize the pressure you feel and convince yourself that "if only she.." everything wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:14 PM
1

If you really meant to imply nothing further than that, it seems we're all in agreement! I thought the convo was still in the context of the OP's claims, but it seems that I've misunderstood.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:33 PM
2

I don't understand how this relates to what I've said?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:23 PM
3

It is, it's evidence of your bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:01 PM
2

Any decision you make has implications about your character, that includes decisions about your appearance like getting tatoos or going to the Gym. OP didn't claim that tattoos and rugged appearance and muscles have "some implications" about your personality, but that they specifically say you're a bad boy not in touch with his feelings. You're moving the goal posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:00 PM
3

You feel bad. Undesirable, worthless, insecure. It's a feeling. Born out of trauma. But you're a smart person. You don't base your actions on feelings. So your brain is looking for rational justification to feel bad. If you don't have a gf, that's the reason. If you do, then what if you aren't satisfying her? If she says you are, what if she's lying? If you find out that you are really satisfying her, what if you aren't the best peak satisfaction she's ever had and she's secretly sad? It doesn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:51 PM
–

No, I prefer goofing around. Although, reigning it in a certain amount in public is necessary, my SO and I are downright weird when alone. Sex can also be giggly and sweet, if your mood is ruined by both people not perfectly performing for each other, I mean, that sounds a bit like being afraid to be sexually vulnerable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:34 PM
–

Okay, so, first thing I need to get across I think you already understand, but it's that not everybody is ready to solve all of their problems. Often, we have a lot of defense mechanisms keeping us from facing some fucked up things in our psyche and it takes a lot of personal growth to face that. While the act may seem simple (e.g. "just tell her you don't want to go"), for a person it might be triggering a lot of unresolved trauma and they're not just talking to a friend asking them to come to …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:12 PM
3

I see what you did there
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 02:58 PM
–

People shame people when they say race mixing is bad, does that mean they're right? Social ostracization is a mechanism to keep people's beliefs within the societal Overton window or however you wanna call it. It doesn't matter whether you're right or wrong, the propensity for someone to shame you will depend on how far out the acceptable range of beliefs of a given group you stray, not on how wrong you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:36 PM
–

Have you experienced childhood trauma and neglect and how it feels for your judgment to be clouded by them? To be fair, I understand what you're getting at. I have little sympathy for parents who hit their kids, even though they're also repeating their own trauma patterns, I just think the level of responsibility at that point is high enough that they need to get their shit together - and they can. I feel similar about women staying with abusive men who harm their kids too, at that point it's no…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:32 AM
0

Are women punished by men or society for having shallow preferences, which pressures them to claim to have none? We're taught that men are visual and women aren't and that men are horny uncontrollable objectifying pigs and women aren't. It isn't feminine to express such preferences. Women are also taught to appease and make you feel comfortable, and we're hyperaware of the fact that men who don't fit our type might feel inadequate about hearing it. Are women trying to be pick-me's as well, and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:52 PM
2

Ah sry, this was just in some US cities trend reversing
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:22 PM
0

Full or 50-50 I think it was, sry I misspoke Edit: it wasn't 50-50 it just says joint, I double-checked, maybe I should read up more before discussing this
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:05 PM
5

Women who're not mothers now outearn both their male peers and their female peers who do have children. Maybe you can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt in an individual case, but it stands to reason that somebody investing time and energy parenting would have less time for career and rest needed for a good work mindset AND statistics bear it out. What more do you need?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:01 PM
5

Of the fathers who request custody, 70-90% get full or shared custody. But large majority don't request custody. Women are even less likely to get custody when they claim the man abused the children, and even less so if he claims she has been alienating him from the kids. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09649069.2020.1701941 Yes, there are some men who get full parental rights taken from them even when they ask for custody. It's at most 2.4% of divorced fathers. I don't think it's u…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:51 PM
6

I want to be able to enjoy spending time with someone, especially to enjoy talking to them. I want emotional and practical support and availability, to a reasonable degree, I don't mind leaving space and boundaries and having separate lives, but if I come in distress I want to see genuine concern. I want matching values on morality, family, parenting, and money, it doesn't have to be a perfect match, but "in the neighborhood" where we're speaking the same language kind of. I want to be attracted…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 12:10 PM
1

There are two conflicting but not contradictory things here. Victims of abuse usually feel an unhealthy amount of shame and guilt, which is a contributing factor to their poor choice of partner. They might choose bad because they feel they don't deserve better or because the abuser is playing into their weaknesses to manipulate them (lovebombing, negging, then gradually cutting them off, destroying confidence, etc). So telling them they need to choose better can be a trigger in this shame self-l…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 08:36 PM
0

Tbh I used to be fine with paternity tests if they're brought up ahead of time as a routine thing someone wants to do, not when you're already pregnant when it seems like an accusation. But after all of the discourse on and on and on on here, I have started considering it a red flag. It seems to correlate with misogynist beliefs and paranoias. I don't think there's anything immoral about doing it in secret, it harms nobody, and helps you sleep at night apparently. But if you have an urge to do i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 08:24 PM
1

We do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 08:16 PM
8

Extremely ironic question for someone who just assumed someone's attraction preferences are the most extreme possible
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:51 PM
45

I know a few autistic men, some with a formal diagnosis, some not yet but they think they have it, but none of them have crossed any sexual boundaries or anything of that nature. They did violate some social norms in ways that can make people uncomfortable and can sometimes be easy to anger and difficult to talk to when they're triggered and feel like you aren't listening to them, but nothing I would call creepy, if anything it can seem either awkward or childish, but not like a violation of any…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:45 AM
2

Yeah, and I'm lucky not to have very painful period, but one of my best friends vomits from the pain first day almost every time, and the other has endometriosis with endometrium in her bowel, sooo it's not a "just use a tampon" kind of deal. I might be able to do that and it's just kinda annoying/uncomfortable, but they really can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 01:26 PM
3

Best thing is not to assume stuff and ask an individual woman what she would appreciate. Symptoms and the things that make people feel cared for and comforted vary. One thing I would appreciate is just keeping it in mind. For example, when planning a group vacation with friends, if somebody asked "when is everyone's periods if y'all wanna choose good dates to avoid them" instead of a woman having to bring it up and then everyone being awkwardly silent while it's discussed and when it's difficult…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:19 PM
0

You just wrote a novel online about a guy who bullies you, trying to get women to call him unattractive, bc women irl don't seem to. Not sure if jealousy is the right word, but he's certainly rent free my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:18 PM
1

Decisions that significantly impact both: Require two yeses or it's a no. We're not going into debt on one person's whim. We're not choosing a house. We're not having a baby. These things both people need to be enthusiastically into. Decisions that impact only one party directly: That party decides. What medical procedures you have, who are your friends, how much do you talk to your parents, what are your hobbies, etc. are individual choices. The other person can give advice if asked or if they …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:50 PM
–

Men rape, kill, steal... It's in our hormones, some of us are more animal than human. We know this and mostly control our nerves and try to protect ourselves and people we know from harmful men/people. If you feel like you're familiar with the feeling of being more animal than human and have to make significant effort to suppress animalistic urges and "control nerves" in your day to day life, I honestly genuinely no internet points snark suggest you seek professional help. You shouldn't feel so …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:33 PM
1

I am physically in pain from the cringe that is this guy's personality That being said, you sounding jealous of him isn't helping your case either. It sounds like you're flirting with "women like assholes" attitude. If you live in a conservative environment and that's the culture there, then that might be what women will like, or they feel neutral towards conservatism, but he might exude fake confidence cuz he's a narcissist, which might be attractive. Imo just move to a bigger city.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:25 PM
5

If she doesn't, it's a lot healthier for the guy in question to slowly dissipate the relationship (or outright end it) to prevent himself from becoming even more attracted to her overtime and get more and more bitter until he catches a mental illness. This is not a normal experience unless you're a hormonal teen first getting into romance. Unrequited crush shouldn't be mental illness inducing. This is limerence and may go as far as BPD. You're not at risk of getting a mental illness, if this is …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 02:31 PM
14

If she doesn't, it's a lot healthier for the guy in question to slowly dissipate the relationship (or outright end it) to prevent himself from becoming even more attracted to her overtime and get more and more bitter until he catches a mental illness. This is not a normal experience unless you're a hormonal teen first getting into romance. Unrequited crush shouldn't be mental illness inducing. This is limerence and may go as far as BPD. You're not at risk of getting a mental illness, if this is …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 02:31 PM
0

Yeah, but is it that young women have just started cheating more than previous generation, or is it that women always cheated more when young while men always did more throughout their life? Is it equalizing and this generation will continue to cheat more equally throughout life, or is it just that women will cheat slightly more in their 20s and then significantly less for the rest of their lives? Tbh I'm too lazy to look it up, just spitballing assumptions. There's probably data.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 12:01 PM
0

right when it became apparent that it didn't disproportionately hurt women. Does it not?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:40 PM
3

I don't think you're infectious if you're on medication, but I'd still like to know lol. It should at least be a crime if the other person gets somehow infected by you, even though it shouldn't happen with meds.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:38 PM
1

There's also blood related family who go no-contact with each other, it makes no difference in terms of your ability to leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 08:50 PM
1

Many women convince themselves that their value is intrinsic, but deep down, they fear that much of their worth has been tethered to their youth and physical attractiveness, a currency that fades faster than they want to admit. Somewhat agree, because society teaches us this so it's a common fear. The anger older women feel toward older successful men dating younger women isn’t about morality, it’s a visceral reminder of how much of their own prime they wasted on men who were never serious about…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:03 PM
–

It can be romantic, but it can also be desperate, lovebombing out of insecurity, stuff people usually use the word simp for in a derogatory manner. Henpecked guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:14 PM
–

I'd be happy that he has learned that love and attraction cannot be bought and is prioritizing his spending more wisely. If I was already happy and didn't have a problem with it before, this doesn't change anything. Except maybe the fact that now I'm aware that he used to be a simp, so it I didn't know that he used to be more insecure that'd be new info, but that makes it cooler that he's not like that now and feels comfortable just spending time and enjoying each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:08 PM
1

I do think it's likely misogynistic, depending on his exact motivation and reasoning, but I'd assume misogyny until convinced otherwise. Read your whole post and substitute black people for women and I assume you'd understand why. Happening to not have anyone of a certain gender in your life at a moment in time happens to people a lot by accident, but actively avoiding them means you're avoiding something you perceive as inherent to their gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:00 PM
2

As everyone's said, women don't give sex, they have sex. About 10% of women are sociosexual aka promiscuous and very casual about it. So there are definitely some women that are looking for physicality. Imo sex is much more dangerous for women biologically, socially, psychologically. Biologically, you can get pregnant, which is expensive both evolutionarily speaking and in most modern situations. Socially, it's ostracized to be promiscuous as a woman and might affect your prospects. Psychologica…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:51 PM
–

Look up limerence, maybe it's relevant to you
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 06:02 PM
–

Be careful with rushing those things too much. Breakups with someone's name on the lease and having to move and having big expenses to refund to each other etc. are much messier. Don't rush it just because you want to move out asap but can't afford to on your own. Actually, especially if your home situation with parents is bad and you can't afford to move out on your own. Then you're kind of stuck in the relationship once you move out. Better to look for a roommate and work towards higher income…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 02:50 PM
–

I'm not sure about prevalence tbh, but where I live there's a definite difference in style. Liberal women are more likely to show up in something like a croptop to a daily activity but otherwise look to dress comfortable mostly, while conservative women dress a bit more feminine but modest. But for some sort of party or a celebration conservative women are more likely to have some bombshell look with long tight dresses with a lot of clevage, high heels, and heavy makeup, while liberal women are …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:52 AM
2

I don't think you're actually using it, but your first paragraph sounds eerily like chatgpt lol And I agree with your analysis, men want to solve their problems individually and hide their weakness, women are much more open to collective solutions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 09:34 AM
0

What I like best is men who're able to fight and have that confidence, but avoid it at all costs. If I got seriously hurt and my man was just standing by, I would be kinda upset. I'd suicide-dive into a situation where he was in similar danger even if I couldn't do much. But if I was just looking for trouble without consulting him or his safety preferences or making a plan, like the woman in that story, he would be within his rights to stand by on the phone and have an argument over it after. I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 09:13 AM
1

It's not an easy problem to solve, for each thing I come up with I have a reason it wouldn't work or would have a bunch of undesirable side-effects. You can give better healthcare, worker's rights, subsidize families with children or who could have children financially, etc. but it's all expensive and doesn't fully address the issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:37 AM
1

I'm not from an English-speaking country and we have no equivalent, people use the English version and always mean the sarcastic thing. Idk how it is culturally in the anglosphere, maybe it is more ambiguous, but I assume if somebody just says "he's a nice guy" with no inflection or emphasis or context that they mean genuinely nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 07:49 PM
1

Sarcasm is using words to mean the opposite of what you want to say. She wants to say they're not really nice, but is calling them nice. Therefore, it is sarcastic. Double-speak is euphemistic or ambiguous. "Nice guy" is not an euphemism, it's a monicre awarded to a social phenomenon, it's literally the opposite of what it describes, not lessening what it describes. And while it can technically be ambiguous, I have yet to see a case where it's not clear from context what it means, especially whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 12:17 PM
1

Both. Commenter you replied to even emphasized it by putting it in quotes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 09:54 AM
1

Me personally no, it's usually for others. I keep hygiene for myself including skincare and some part of my hair care, it's something that makes me happy and feeling fresh even when hermiting in the house. Doing my nails is like an artsy hobby more than an appearance thing for me personally, so those are for myself. The rest when I bother with clothes, hairstyles, shaving, etc. is absolutely for others. I pick ones I like, which are functional, and which express something about myself and my tas…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:59 PM
2

It's called sarcasm
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:48 PM
1

FIRST QUESTION: Do people in LTR's observe these traits in the opposite sex? How common would you say it is: Male Stereotypes: Only looking for sex, will say or do anything, including pretend to be someone he's not, if it means he gets sex that night. False, there's a subset of men who do, but there's no shortage of men wanting a relationship, and it's pretty clear usually who's who. No standard of living; only needs are "balls empty and stomach full", doesn't care if house is clean, "would live…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:31 PM
1

hypergamy Financial hypergamy is kinda true, statistically speaking it bears out, there are nuances to talk about there, but in and of itself it doesn't say anything about the state of mind of the person who believes it. alpha fux beta bux This is misogynistic imo. I'd ditch a partner for it, a friend maybe not if it's not exhibited in his behavior in any way that impacts me or others around us negatively. I could understand somebody having trauma from being cheated on or something adopting this…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:19 PM
2

Men definitely do it a lot too, but still much less than women. Whenever somebody communicates in an unhealthy way, they're afraid that their feedback is an inconvenience or will be received poorly. So it's a confidence/trust issue. We all need to work on it, but yeah, women more so on the passive-aggressive side of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 08:05 AM
27

Passive or passive-aggressive communication, bottling up resentment, spreading rumors, being overprotective especially of children, following rules too much sometimes, giving unsolicited help or advice when it's clearly unwanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 08:41 PM
11

We should feel responsibility to each other as people, not as a gender. The genders may face certain issues more commonly than the other gender, but virtually no issue is gender-specific and you should feel equally responsible for a male or female victim of anything, all else being equal. Now, how responsible you should feel is a different matter. Usually, if you didn't personally cause the situation, you shouldn't feel very much guilty about it, that sounds like unhealthy levels of shame. But w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:02 PM
1

It was being floated around online at least 10 years back when I first encountered it, it seemed years older than that, but not more. While it has roots in a lot of things that are said and spread irl as a part of a patriarchal worldview, it fundamentally differs from those in many key aspects. It has some ideas many people would have undoubtedly reached independantly, such as looksmaxxing, but as a whole ideology I don't think it's fair to say it's very old.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/24 10:05 AM
1

It would be really hard to measure gender relations over the past 100 years because so much has changed. I could say domestic violence rates, but what is culturally considered acceptable behavior at home has changed significantly, as have laws in some places. This would greatly exaggerate current numbers because they're being compared to numbers at a time of different definitions and different incentives. Similar could be said of rape. Divorce rates would be silly, since no fault divorce wasn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 09:58 AM
2

Yes, the style just adds to it, it's not necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 07:43 PM
2

Assertive, argumentative, loud, boysterous, crude sense of humor, cussing, financially independent, has male-dominated interests and/or career, tomboyish appearance, promiscuous and openly talks about it, messy, deflects feelings with humor, tends to be life of the party, spontaneous. Idk. Smth like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 12:41 PM
3

Virtually all men I know shave their armpits, but a lot of them only shave when it starts being a full bush up there, they consider it more like this should be trimmed every once in a while kind of thing. Women are judged for not having perfectly smooth hairless armpits that for many literally require daily shaves or painful depilation or epilation procedures.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 10:30 PM
4

I don't think I've ever had masculine pressure on me even though I'm tall and dress a bit tomboyish, but I kind of arrive at the same place in a different way. When I cry or when I show weakness, people say "it's okay, you're a woman", they somehow tie it to my femininity, ask about being on my period, or something. It feels demeaning and makes me afraid of being feminine in any way that might be perceived as weak or negative because I feel like I'll be looked down on and pitied and like I'd be …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 09:26 AM
1

I think I am able to ignore it, but it's hard to tell how much some things influence my thinking. I have only dated men shorter than me lol (accident, not preference, I think I like all heights, though the closer to my own the better). I've dated men who earn less. But. I do get comments occasionally. And they do sting sometimes. Mostly from patriarchal women in the family tbh. I don't think they ultimately have a major impact on my choices, but they can be hurtful. The only thing I mind is when…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 09:04 AM
1

My best friend draws wonderfully, he's so good natured, he's a great dad, he has worked so many odd jobs he's picked up many cool skills, he's really community-oriented in a very healthy way. He's loyal to a fault. My friends' boyfriends' are very curious guys who know a lot of interesting things about the world and our profession and Idk various stuff. They're also great cooks and like experimenting with stuff. One male friend I have is really involved with activism, he's a poet, and he has the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 02:00 AM
1

notSoErudite has a great video on struggles with femininity on her channel for anyone who's curious to hear about a very thought through experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 01:46 AM
5

It is okay that you can't ever go back to him, whether or not they respect it. Your decision is your own, it's for your own good and your children's, it's a mature good decision that it took a lot of strength to make. A child who's hurt about the breakdown of his family not being able to understand that yet doesn't take away from the fact that it's a valid, responsible, and justified reaction to what was happening to you. I hope he will understand one day!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:50 PM
1

Hopefully his wife since he ended up marrying her, though there's really not enough info to tell. He might have married her out of convenience and social obligation, but actually valued his experiences with Sara more, he might be mistreating his wife and feeling stuck. But in most cases, men will value most women they choose to marry. That being said, that doesn't mean men value chaste women over promiscuous exclusively, since to get the answer to that question you should ask something more like…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:46 PM
1

I don't use dating apps, but I think they have a way of commodifying dating and changing perception of it from how people normally interact. Because a picture is often everything you see, you learn to judge people by pictures, even when you don't normally do that irl. It's just that the type of interface apps have incentivizes it. It's a type of what you see is all there is bias that is reinforced until you literally forget what you're there looking for. Add to that the abundance mentality from …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:26 PM
3

Oof, that's tough. Even if he's nice to him, just him witnessing the abuse back when it was happening could have caused him to form certain beliefs and worldviews. If he perceived his father to be in control and was afraid, he may have learned that appeasing father was top priority. Even if he wasn't endangered directly himself usually, you being endangered IS a danger to him that he would feel afraid of. He's dependent on you and loves you and that is very stressful and traumatic. He may have f…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:20 PM
1

I would consider us sexually incompatible and break up. I would probably get insecure about it. I'd go to therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:13 PM
4

It's not a question of her not knowing what she wants, but of her not knowing whether you're what she wants. And how is she supposed to find out other than getting to know you? You sound like you think as soon as someone chats you up they're committed to marry you and have your babies unless there's a monumental clear deal-breaker that is communicated to you in certified writing. Ghosting is still shitty tho, I'm sorry about that part. She could've at least said she wants to cool it off and be j…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:05 PM
10

Hey, uh, this is a bit concerning. I'm sorry for what you went through and understand you're hurt and confused and worried for your son. No matter what your son says, that's not a reflection on you. You did a right thing to protect yourself and your children. One important question I have is, what is the custody agreement? If his father has any access, I will need to remind you that you're the safe parent here. You seem skeptical of him not remembering something, but first of all, it's a traumat…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:58 PM
5

That's the kind of thing you're supposed to suss out. If you're going over to their place, do they ever cook? If not, mention trying some recipe, do they ever have opinions or tips or experiences to share? Complain about spoiling ingredients bc you cook for one, do they have the same struggle? You can ask directly, but because of the possible misogynistic connotations, it can be misunderstood, especially if you don't know each other super-well yet. It's similar to the reason women don't point bl…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:38 PM
3

Most meals I make take up to an hour tops almost regardless of quantity unless we get to can't fit in my pan amounts of people, so 3h/day tops would fit. But there are recipes and level of dedication that can take more. There are people who like to make things from scratch. Maybe someone wants you to bake them fresh bread in the morning. I have a friend who not only bakes all baked goods from scratch, they do it with yeast they grow themselves. There are people who go to the market early in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:27 PM
2

With society as is, no. If society felt neutral towards it and it wasn't sexualized, I might want to go to the beach topless to avoid weird tan marks, though I avoid tanning anyway so it's not that big a deal. I don't think I'd go out on the street day to day like that, but being able to Idk forget your swimsuit, take off a sweaty T-shirt to change it, or just change in front of people like guys often do Idk. But going braless I would def like if it wasn't stigmatized. I prefer some support and …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:04 PM
1

I maybe would, but I haven't, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:52 AM
1

If kids are 50/50 when everyone is home, imo in that case SAHM should do all the chores and she still isn't doing enough bc it's not likely there's 8h of daily chores in the household. If kids are 100% her responsibility when out of school, then it depends on the age. If they're not relatively independent yet and aren't being neglected, she might be working harder than the dad. Taking them to extracurriculars, to see their friends, organizing sleepovers, buying gifts for birthdays, getting them …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:48 AM
1

Culture can be used to move biology here and there a bit when deemed necessary. But there are limits. I don't think we're anywhere near the limit tbh. Some things are fixed by biology, but a large portion of it seems to me to be culture playing out the game theory that's emergent from that biology and people overemphasizing certain traits to compete. We can make equally valid competitons in different arenas, compare poor hoodlums bravado, conservative religious community competing in showing off…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:53 PM
1

Women tend to be volunteers in soup kitchens, orphanages, they are most of the social workers, nurses, therapists, teachers and tutors, Idk, a lot of the volunteer, caring, and child-oriented work centered on helping communities is consistently done by women. In general, women tend to focus more on helping groups that need help. To the degree that there are more women vegans lol (I'm not a vegan, but I find it interesting that the movement appeals to women more). Idk if it has to be this way, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:20 PM
3

I don't like the label too much bc of this. It's growing on me a bit as I realize more about society over time, but I wish there was a more consistent push for at least some male issues or at least uniform support when somebody else pushes for them. I still consider it a bit of a green flag when somebody labels themselves as a feminist, but if somebody has good reasoning to not do so I'm okay with that too. I'm reluctant myself, dictionary-definition I'd slap it on, but common parlance I don't l…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:21 AM
1

13+/15
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:11 AM
1

Does one partner have the right to tell another partner that they cannot have social media? Only if you agreed to it when you were entering the relationship and it's both-side. Maybe if they forgave your cheating as a part of the condition to rebuild trust. But either way, I don't think it's good/healthy, personally I would treat it as a huge red flag regardless of circumstances. Can they tell you who you can hang out with and when. Who - a lot of monogamous couples have some boundaries regardin…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:04 AM
–

I have women in my age group in my industry who went to a similar college live in the same city etc. who have this problem and I've never had any issues whatsoever. So I assume it must be our social circles, selection methods, or something. They're usually on dating apps, maybe that's the problem, people use them to hook up a lot. I've always dated in social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 02:16 AM
1

Nope, it's actually misandrist that we don't feel the same way about men in age gap relationships. And becoming a pornstar at that same age is also fucked. You should be able to make both choices as an adult in charge of her own decision making and consent giving, I am just also free to warn you it's not a great idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 02:08 AM
–

My sister is a nurse who sees elderly men with terrible penile infections who need amputations all the time because they’re too old to clean themselves. As an European, this is so weird. How do we not have grandpas requiring their dicks to be chopped off left and right? I haven't heard of a single case of that. I know a couple of guys who had to be circumcised because of phimosis and they don't seem to mind that it was done at an older age. I understand my anecdotes are useless, I guess I'm just…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:58 AM
–

Nope, nothing assholish about that, you don't owe anybody anything and, frankly, dating would be better if women were more proactive themselves. The only thing that's kinda assholish is if you give up easily, never score, and then complain. It's still unfair that you have to put more effort in, but it's kind of whiny behavior if you choose not to and then complain about the consequences. Sounds like that's not your case, so you're good.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:47 AM
1

Are you comfortable sharing what industry?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:28 AM
2

Is it possible that you already felt like you won't be able to find a partner or are hard to love, you've already grown up seeing bad relationships and thought even if you find one it can be scary, and then you find this online ideology confirming all of your fears? But the problem isn't the ideology, it's the underlying fear/beliefs that already existed? Aka you were primed to believe redpill because it gives you a rational justification for things you already want to believe out of self-preser…
/r/ExRedPill12/11/24 12:46 PM
4

Was your parent's relationship good?
/r/ExRedPill12/11/24 09:14 AM
4

How did you feel about finding a partner before reading this stuff, if you remember? Did you feel confident? Worried? Afraid?
/r/ExRedPill12/11/24 09:06 AM
2

This is just another way of saying "good women don't leave you for this". Yeah, this is how I understood it. And the problem, per her own writing, is that men CHOSE emotionally unavailable women, their fault. Which is just "just world fallacy" nonsense. And that regular women possess no flaws regarding this. Tbh it's not a problem I've ever perceived in my irl experience or been told about, I just see it written about here. Maybe I'm biased so I perceive it some other way when it happens. I just…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 03:21 PM
1

It's not okay when either party uses superior maturity or experience to manipulate. If you're 30, unless you are developmentally stunted to a clinical level, you're more mature than an 18yo. Maybe you don't have relationship experience, but you've held a job. You've learned how society works. You're likely financially independent and responsible for yourself. You've probably seen death in your close circles. You've established your personality and habits and values and priorities. Maybe she stil…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 02:59 PM
1

General worth as a human being is okay for me, we are all insecure sometimes and some people struggle more bc of mental illness. But I do dislike the insecurity about MY feelings for them bc I feel like I'm being told I'm lying and somebody is trying to rewrite my experience of the relationship to fit their fears. That frustrates me insanely. Even if a man is self-aware and acknowledges it's not rational and he doesn't claim it's true that I don't love him or whatever else, it's still a big trig…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 02:49 PM
2

She was talking about the cases in which women leave the men over it, not about all cases. Either the woman is shit for leaving you over it. Or the problem isn't that you opened up in and of itself, but the way and the over-reliance. OR she doesn't leave you (the implied third option bc we were talking about women who leave over it).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 02:41 PM
1

I'd rather be single than either of those, but if I had to choose one, cheating. The reason people are having trouble with this question that seems to be going over your head, is that "perfect in every other way" and these things are mutually exclusive. So many other things about their character, values, impulse control, priorities, etc. have to be true for someone to be willing to hit you or cheat on you, that it automatically impacts nearly every other facet of their personality / your relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 02:34 PM
2

I think everyone will cheat given certain circumstances, but I'm kinda purple. I saw you say somewhere woman should never be alone with a man or she risks cheating. I disagree with that. Could she be tempted to cheat? Yes. Should she be more careful when she's emotionally vulnerable such as intense grief, rocky part of a relationship with her partner, and similar? Also yes. But does she need to avoid physically having the opportunity? Imo no, unless she has some unusual level of problem with sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 01:25 PM
2

It can affect my worldview to an extent sometimes, sometimes I need detox from the content to normalize my perceptions tbh. But I've never gotten nearly as far as you. I think it's a mistake to generalize what you read here or worse yet on TRP or in general in polarized internet echo chamber communities as how real people think. I guess this can get a bit blurry if more people in your life start falling into it. I suspect my cousin is. I don't know what to say. Imo you should give a chance to pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:57 PM
8

You don't have a list of women who rejected said African politician, only those he managed to fuck (if he actually did and it isn't just some bragging / political propaganda / whatever). It's 1/1 every woman will fuck him no matter what when you don't have women who won't fuck him. It might actually be 1/10 or 1/20 or whatever. All women will inevitably cheat given the right circumstances. Everyone will inevitably do anything given the right circumstances. The substantial disagreement we have be…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:48 PM
1

Lying to get sex is predatory. It’s also creepy to get people to fuck you who otherwise wouldn’t. You're literally not responding to my point. You said 97% would not date, I'm saying we're not talking about dating but sex. Many people would not date a trans person because they want bio kids, because they don't want to deal with the stigma, because they don't feel capable to support someone like that, because they might not be able to marry in their country, traveling might be dangerous, etc. etc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:31 AM
1

Dating is not the same as sex. I wouldn't date a trans person because I'm straight and cannot have biological children with a trans man, which I want to have with my partner. But I don't see them as less attractive than straight men sexually at all. Precentage is irrelevant, if a 100% of people had deep seated disgust for AB- blood type, it doesn't mean you suddenly have to disclose it to every sexual partner in order to be fair to them. If you're asked and you lie that's wrong, but if you don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:02 AM
1

Do people need to disclose if they have a micropenis before getting naked? What about a surgery scar? If they are infertile? If they have been sexually abused in the past? Whether they have foreskin or not? If they're a victim of FGM? What's the line of the types of things you MUST disclose before having sex? Imo you must disclose anything that has direct physical consequences, like whether you can get pregnant / get someone pregnant at the moment (whatever the reason) and STDs. As for other inf…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 08:42 AM
1

Depends on how he seems to feel about it. If he seems content, I'm fine with it. If he seems frustrated and upset, then, while it is unfair that he have to fulfill a random social expectation and I understand the frustration, not dealing with it in some way would seem like avoiding the problem. Similar to a woman decrying female beauty standards for example. If you're overweight, hairy, or whatever, and you seem happy and content, I'm fine with it. If you're complaining about people being asshol…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 08:24 AM
2

Rarely. You can Google about unrestricted sociosexuality in women and prevalence, I can't find the source but I think I looked into this once and it turned out about 10% of women are promiscuous in that way. Which is not negligible, but a large majority isn't into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 08:09 AM
1

It is also possible not to say dumb offensive shit bc you care about hurting the person you're talking to, regardless of whether there are witnesses, or there will be gossip afterwards, or whether you'll interact with them again.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 11:37 PM
1

It seems like you don't think harm is a big deal if it's not physical. Or even as long as it's not permanent physical, you mentioned you'd tolerate slapping, but not breaking bones. Why do you feel this way? Why are you not concerned about your own mental wellbeing? What is it that a woman who treats you so badly can offer you that makes it sound enticing at all? Is there something scary about being single that's scarier than abuse? My personal view is that emotional abuse is very scary and can …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 11:52 PM
1

No problem for the new perspective, good luck! Thanks for keeping an open mind. I can push further on some things I find troubling about your attitude towards yourself and this situation, but I don't want to overdo it with unsolicited advice. Lmk if you want more feedback/convo.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 10:49 PM
2

I don't have too much time to type, but I highly recommend the book called Giftedness 101. I think it has a lot of the answers you're looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:42 PM
2

Besides it's possible that by being a good person and treating her with love, kindness, and respect I could convince her to stop doing disrespectful things to me (such as demeaning comments, slapping, and cheating) or at least reduce them some. You won't. An abuser isn't abusing you because you're not nice enough to them. They're abusing you because they're selfish and have issues. You won't cure those issues by being nice, nor will you make them more empathetic. The only thing you'll achieve is…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:20 PM
2

While I understand what you're trying to say, bear in mind that a lot of physical intimacy and romantic skills are not completely transferable, especially not from a disrespectful person who's using you to a normal person. You may develop the wrong skillset and treat a good partner later like you would an abuser (overly defensive, walking on eggshells, afraid to communicate, performance anxiety, etc). Don't adapt too much to wrong people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:17 PM
4

Yeah, she (an individual) might not be the same as average of all women (a vast group).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:39 AM
4

Did you know that having a college degree and marrying older also decreases your risk of divorce, especially age. Does that mean you'll be looking for older women with a Bachelor's now? Also, everything is exactly the same for men, including virgins having the lowest divorce rates. Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10989935/ (part about gender is right before the Discussion)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:19 AM
3

Why do you assume this is about gender? If you were a woman, I would also shit-talk you for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 12:37 AM
1

Thinking it's okay if you're an asshole bc you're anonymous so there are no consequences is wild. Makes it sound like the only reason you're not an asshole irl is the social consequences. As for hearing this in real life, I haven't heard this extent of stuff this is really manosphere-coded way of speaking about women, but I have heard similar enough conversations. It happens when men start having boysterous conversations in public if there are no unattractive women around. Idk if they forget the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 08:51 AM
2

Marriage is a legal contract ensuring financial security. Therefore, by definition, people marry for money. The romanticized ceremony serves a social purpose to make you accountable to your social circle to stay together and respect each other. It can and often does have personal significance to people who are getting married as a symbol of their love and devotion, but that's more a personal meaning you inject to the story and not its actual legal / social function. Women talk about marriage ear…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 08:39 AM
1

I don't date guys I don't find attractive. All the guys I dated I knew beforehand as friends or friends of friends, so I didn't have to assess them as much for safety and intentions. We talk about what we want in a relationship and "what are we" and if we agree we're in a relationship I'm usually down to have sex within the first few dates (like a week). I imagine I'd probably take around a month or so maybe a bit more with an actual stranger because I'd need longer to feel safe being alone with…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 08:15 AM
2

If I'm happy with the amount of effort he's putting in, it's irrelevant what he did with his exes, I'm happy. If I'm not happy with the amount of effort he's putting in, I'm unhappy regardless of exes. Though, knowing might exacerbate frustration. Simping online is a bit of an ick, even if he simps much harder for me. But I don't see following/supporting any female streamer as simping, only if motivation is sexual/romantic or if content is pure thirst traps.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 07:54 AM
1

I have reflected on what you're saying and I think the essence of what you're saying is right. I find it hard to reconcile the fact that I perceive your tone as harsh and angry and I think a victim perceiving the same would feel defensive and less likely to listen. But I agree they need to be called out in some form if they keep putting themselves in bad situations and complaining. I just feel like it can probably still be communicated, but in a more compassionate way. Maybe we're also thinking …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 06:04 PM
4

I am starting to doubt that your motivation for this thread is wanting to think of mutable and immutable characteristics we judge each other on, and instead you want victim Olympics. My bad. Here, you can have it: 🥇
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:37 AM
1

The fact that it's due to ecology that you judge us on it does not change the fact that you're judging us on a partially immutable characteristic. It doesn't change the impact it has on us.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:25 AM
0

Yes. Your parents are not your fault and while you may have a bit more issues if you come from an unstable family, what's important to me is how you choose to deal with those issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:07 AM
8

I love how you know of a study saying women prefer dark triad traits, but not of any saying men prefer certain waist to hip ratios. Way to cherry pick what you read.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:04 AM
1

I'll assume this was written with the proverbial "you" and not directed at me personally, as I didn't claim to be a victim of anything. I am still curious why you think people make these choices? You said they don't want to break the cycle. Why not? What do they gain from not breaking it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 10:43 PM
1

Thanks for the tips!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 10:38 PM
-2

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that that the rest of us take for granted. Do you maybe have any tips for how to diffuse these situations in a more compassionate way? Often I feel much better if the person discloses they're autistic bc then I know how to interpret their behavior/intention better. Some autistic people get upset that we always assume the worst when somebody acts unusual, but it's a hypervigilance/trauma response unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 05:55 PM
1

Sometimes it’s not some deep-rooted issue; it’s just refusing to break the cycle. Why do you think they'd refuse though? (non-rhetorical question, I'm curious what you think.) You mention impulsivity and enabling, but where’s the line? At what point do we stop coddling people for their “impulsivity” and admit that part of being an adult is controlling your impulses? If you're always offering a safety net, some people are going to take advantage of that and never learn to make better decisions. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 05:39 PM
2

Listen. You're getting at something important here. Taking accountability is an important step in getting better and feeling empowered after abuse. BUT. There's a time and a place and a way. Right after an incredibly traumatic event, a victim needs pure emotional support. No judgment, no logic, no blame, no shame. It's not helpful. After they're able to work through some of the emotions in the immediate aftermath, you can take a critical thinking session about why they acted unsafely and do they…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:51 PM
9

I call someone a creep when they make me feel unsafe, but in a somewhat covert way. If someone threatens violence, for example, they're not a creep, they're a thug / predator. Creeps have more plausible deniability than that. There are two kinds of people who're creepy. One knows they're being creepy and are intentionally using social norms and pressure manipulatively to push your boundaries. These guys are not socially awkward, they may pretend to be, but they're very socially sophisticated in …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:14 PM
1

Bad/deal-breaker in and of itself (not a flag for other bad traits): Is someone who gets into fights Red flag (as in, might mean more bad traits under the surface, but not necessarily bad by itself): Earns minimum wage. Is currently unemployed. Isn't very experienced with women Virgin at 25 Decent guy who is happy to do anything for you Has a kid with another woman but still pays his way Personal dislikes/deal-breakers that are not indicative of objectively bad traits: Likes soccer / Football No…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 11:04 PM
2

I'm mid 20s, average libido, was never promiscuous, I haven't really experienced it getting lower over time yet. I'm in a relationship currently. One thing I've noticed is that when I'm under a lot of stress and feel overwhelmed, my libido doesn't really go away, but I'd sometimes rather masturbate than have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:49 PM
2

HAWT takes all around
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:31 PM
7

If you're actively in therapy, there's this trick. You can always go and say "There's this thing I wanna talk about, but it feels too embarrassing" and let your therapist take over from there. They're trained for this, you don't have to be the one forcing yourself to relax and trust, let them help you.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 07:24 AM
1

Edit: from most concerning bc I can't follow basic instructions and can't be bothered to reverse lol has done a violent crime knocked someone up and bailed out does illegal drugs has extreme political opinions single father and raising the kid no college degree has huge debt has no friends is demanding follows thirst trap cosplayers and models through social media eats a specific diet (e.g. keto, vegan, carnivore etc) watches wrestling or MMA is into crypto currencies has done a non violent crim…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 12:25 AM
3

I think his definition of ritual is overly broad. By that definition, every action with a purpose is a ritual. Every surgery is. Baking bread is a ritual. I think an important part of what we mean by ritual is that there are prescribed actions done the same way every time, but not because that action done in that way results in a direct materialistic consequence, but because it was always done that way, that's the social order, or we believe there's some spiritual consequence. The reason we give…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 10:46 AM
2

For me, it's not cheating, but other people may consider it as such and rly whatever the couple agrees the boundary is is the boundary. Some don't want you to fantasize about others, sexually or romantically, or to keep it at a minimum. Others don't want you to look at others. Some might not want you to be too friendly with the opposite sex. Some are upset at flirting, even if just casual and with no further intentions. Some are upset at flirting if it's not casual. Some are upset at romantic fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:24 AM
6

I mean, none of those things are mutually exclusive. She can be looking for money, be genuine, and be looking for a serious relationship, all at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 01:10 AM
3

Why would you do things you're not into with someone you're not going to have an ongoing relationship with, but not with someone where you're investing into the relationship and getting reciprocity back? That makes 0 sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 12:52 AM
1

Women are not jealous of their ability to. They're sometimes resentful if they get rejected or strung along or cheated on by these men, but they do complain in that case. Otherwise, they don't affect their lives in any way, Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:52 AM
1

Happy cake day 🎂🎉
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:49 AM
2

Is English not your first language? It's a sassy way to say you'd fuck someone up. "I pity the person who dares prank me" for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:36 AM
1

How would you feel, internally? Complete distress. Would you lean towards believing him, believing his accuser, or withholding judgment? If we normally have a trusting relationship, I'd believe him. Especially if he told me in detail about what happened. I don't think this for every person I know or anything, even people you're pretty close with can turn out to be pretty terrible behind closed doors. But I'd think I'd know my child well enough and would have done my best to equip him with knowle…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:30 AM
2

No, he was just calling your metaphor melodramatic, but you were incapable of grasping that
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:11 AM
1

You need to talk about it. There is no magic answer and nothing is more fair than the other thing. You're individuals with individual thoughts and preferences and boundaries and prior agreements. In my personal opinion, if somebody is indisposed and can't work and is losing current and future wages (bc future wages will be lower than they otherwise would've been) to have your child, you take care of them. Expenses, fun money, and all. To the extent you can afford and not to a much higher standar…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 11:50 PM
3

So, listen. The correct answer is limit online time and eliminate redpill content and go make some female friends. College is a good place to network in general, you should get to know your peers, it will help your career later. But... It's know the correct answer might not be what you go for. In case that's a bit much, for starters, I'd suggest you diversify your internet diet lol with different content creators. Do you follow any female/progressive YouTubers for instance? E.g. Contrapoints, Mi…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/24 10:53 PM
1

I'd rather do husband and family if I had to choose. I think I'd be a better mother if I worked, at least after the kids are school age if not earlier. Part of raising kids is giving them space to individuate and develop separately from you and discover themselves, and not helicopter parenting them and not having any other purpose in your life and over-relying on them for your sense of meaning. Plus, setting an example, and being stimulated and being in an adult environment puts you in a better …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:51 PM
3

It bothers me. It's annoying that I'm as a baseline weaker than virtually any man, it makes me much more unsafe. Also, I don't like when I can't do something that requires strength without help. I'm weak for a woman too and could stand to work on that, but yeah. I don't begrudge men their strength or feel like it's unfair or anything like that, it is what it is, everyone was dealt their own cards. But it can be frustrating sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:41 PM
9

It's okay to want things. Why do you want your brain to shut up? Is this wish causing you suffering? Do you feel shame, inadequacy, insecurity about not having experienced it yet? Impatience, frustration? I'd focus on addressing those aka learning how to deal with disappointment and having to wait for stuff better. You'll want things your whole life, you can't keep chasing them with a sense of urgency because that's the only way to deal with wanting them. You need to be able to process negative …
/r/ExRedPill27/09/24 09:14 AM
1

In the research, it actually made a difference to how sexually attracted these women were to their men when ovulating vs. when not ovulating. I vaguely read/heard somewhere that they can no longer replicate these findings, but I haven't looked into it in detail, you might want to look up latest research. I'm not sure of this as I haven't fact-checked it myself, but in case you care to look it up just letting you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 09:03 PM
–

Why just don't spin a plate and get a free food, free gift and free sex from several guys? Because that's manipulative and using someone's hopes of having more to string them along and take their money. That's not okay. It's different if you intend to try things out and it doesn't work out, but if you go in with free food intention that's scummy. As for casual sex, there's way too many risks to sex for me to want it casually. Emotional risks like catching feelings or being more open with someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 07:42 PM
1

Adam, duh. If I cared that much about biological progeny I'd be donating my eggs left and right maximizing my descendants. I care a non-0 amount, but it doesn't trump all of my other values.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:25 AM
13

A lot of people feel the need for others to fit into their mold to justify their own efforts to fit themselves into the same mold. Sometimes they were pressured into the mold and can't accept that they didn't have to succumb. People upset at others for not having kids. People upset at those with different religious beliefs. People feeling superior because they have a college education or because they didn't "waste time" on college and trying to convince everyone else that they should do the exac…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/24 11:08 PM
26

Revenge fantasies, jealousy, entitlement. For examples, for single mothers. They're jealous because they imagine they got a crazy youth full of sexual fulfillment that was not available for them. They feel like they were the pretty girls who rejected them for asshole deadbeat dads, so they get the revenge fantasy of them suffering. They hate to see fat women living their best lives bc they're usually jealous. Either they're fat themselves and believe fat women have it easier than fat men. Or the…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/24 10:45 PM
1

I don't think it's submissive lol. But I think the problem is what you want is not going through the motions of leaving a note. What you want is the emotion behind it. It doesn't have to be a note, you just want more affection and nice gestures of some sort. Doing just what you asked and specifically just that as soon as you ask and nothing else feels like you're trying to do the minimal work to appease me, so you could say "I did what you asked", but the point is what she is getting at is not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 11:00 AM
1

If you ask me as I'm now to choose my path forward, I'd want to be single alone rather than that, probably. But if I'd already had the kids, I don't think I'd regret them. In difficult moments I'd probably wish to just be rid of my problems, but there's a reason why parents of disabled kids don't just give them up for adoption and forget about them. I don't have kids, but I imagine the level of attachment once you do is very strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 10:55 AM
1

I really feel like it's more complicated. Sometimes being emotionally abused or neglected can make it so that you become better at understanding and identifying emotions because it's necessary to avoid the bad treatment. Also, parents can name your emotions and still offer no comfort. Emotions of others yes, because you need to placate them to avoid mistreatment. You need to predict their behavior before they themselves even realize they're irritable. Emotions of your own, no. Because having nee…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 05:01 PM
1

And women are ofc overly defensive about all that. Ngl, it would be a bit scary to post about toxic femininity. It would probably be a bit less taboo than for example pro-life posts depending on how it was phrased, but if I focused on this issue on a social media account people would start accusing me of being a pickme and what-not almost instantly. Maybe one post would slide with just general whataboutism, but two or three and people would already be like this is a pattern of pickme behavior lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 08:45 AM
1

Or you can call out toxicly feminine people in your life for their behavior and set boundaries with them. I'm not going to talk about both sides whenever I mention an issue, I don't feel like I need to equally berate women whenever I criticize men, and I think it's a sign of defensiveness and not being willing to take feedback to expect this. Maybe it would lower that defensiveness for some people if I did do that and reach more people that way, but I have only so many hours in the day for onlin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 08:45 AM
1

Then why is all stoicism regularly called unhealthy and equated with being emotionally illiterate? I feel like most of those who criticize stoicism have never even read stoist philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. I have read them, and it's extremely easy to see that they were miles ahead of their time when it comes to emotional intelligence. But because it's phrased in a perspective that is more relatable to men, it's often just deemed categorically wrong. The current idea is that you c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 08:44 AM
1

Sorry, I don't have time for long response, maybe another day. A few small points. Most people don't know what stoicism actually is and use it colloquially for something else. I was not thanked, it was kind of awkwardly glossed over. People might be upset because they want to abuse your empathy, but find out that you have a handle on it and control it. Fair enough. And I think our experiences differ a bit around all this. Whether it's cultural difference or gender or both or whatever, Idk. Happy…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 07:54 PM
1

I find it really problematic that male stoicism is described as ignoring your emotions until you eventually burst. This is such a bad description of what it actually is on average. I disagree. I think most people are "stoic" in an unhealthy way, men more so than women but women also. Those who actually manage to develop it as a skill and part of healthy emotional regularion and a part of fulfilling a social role are not uncommon, but not the norm, especially when it comes to younger people. I ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 12:14 PM
1

Sure, but I'm not basing this on observation only, I mentioned normative male alexithymia, this is an actually studied phenomenon. Ofc this might not mean every individual man who on the surface looks alexithymic to me is in fact like that. I don't have access to his thoughts. But I draw inferences about the world where I lack info. I personally struggled with alexithymia and you're not very aware of it until you are. You can't conceptualize it, you don't have language for it, you focus on the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 10:39 AM
3

Unfortunately. It's a strange view of strength though, as it's very obviously just a cope. When you start understanding it, those bouts of anger look as weakness, while being able to own how you feel, self-regulate, and set boundaries with people who hurt you feels more strong. Inauthenticity out of fear of social reprisal is usually seen as cowardly, it's just that this isn't perceived as inauthentic by people who can't see through it. But I agree that's most of society, probably all of us at m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 10:21 PM
3

Yeah. My experience has been that a lot of it will come out as anger, not necessarily directed towards me or abusive, but it will turn to anger of some sort. Sometimes it will cross lines for sure. Ashamed of failing a test? Better get angry at how unfair and stupid it is. Frustrated seeing pictures of your happy acquaintances on social media while you're depressed? Get angry and rant about how vapid and shallow they all are. Insecure about failing a task publicly? Get mad at the world and smash…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:14 PM
6

Imo this user should be banned, he's obviously rage-baiting to promote his book, even explicitly linking it in the comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 08:02 PM
3

Maybe I give too much benefit of the doubt, Idk, I didn't read it like that, but there's a lot of missed cues communicating with strangers over text so who knows. I agree if that's what's going on that it's not healthy to get overly invested in other people's problems, especially when they're not even perceived as problems by said other people.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/24 03:38 PM
3

I see where you're coming from and I see how you could plausibly interpret OP that way, but I think it's a bit of a leap to go from what OP said to the conclusion that they have attachment issues and want to control what people think. I think they're an older mentor figure in their cousin's life and aren't sure what the best approach is when you want to spare the younger generation the pain of having to learn lessons on their own. Some lessons can be taught, others they have to figure out on the…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/24 03:05 PM
6

Beliefs have downstream consequences. Reducing the incidence of dangerous beliefs reduces harm in society. You're not violating somebody's independence by arguing with them, they're completely free to not change their mind. There is a level of power exerted in the fact that people are more likely to believe beliefs acceptable within their community, but they're free to resist this urge or change their community if they want to.
/r/ExRedPill04/09/24 07:15 AM
1

Why do you find asking you if you're okay patronizing?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 10:19 PM
–

Cersei in Game of Thrones, also how Catelyn treats John (and some other things, but I don't want to get into a GoT debate xD), Lady Featherington in Bridgerton, Petunia Dursley in Harry Potter, Gloria in Desperate Housewives. Idk, there are probably more examples I can't think of off the top of my head, and I left out the entire fairy tale evil witch step-mom genre lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 12:04 PM
6

Talk is cheap, reality gives a rude awakening. I've held back a drunk man going to bash a homeless dude's head with a brick because he owed him money in the street, both of them strangers. Saved a boy who was in my chess club from drowning even though I had no idea whether I could keep afloat while holding him. Separated male family members who started fighting. Stopped security guards from tasing and kicking a male friend (when I ran up to them they concluded my sensitive feminine eyes were too…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:33 AM
1

That was a wild jump, but thanks for sharing your fantasies with the class
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 03:04 PM
1

You do realize that men in the same age range of 18-29 are single at a rate of 63% (from the newer version of that study) But I thought you said women didn't want partners. What does this have to do with it? Women not being with men in a certain age range as much as a different age range does not mean they don't want partners. The older demographics you include the less important the data becomes because you are including women who partnered/were influenced by a totally different dating environm…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 11:56 AM
1

Yeah, to be fair three quarters is less than I expected when I looked it up. It's far from only best of the best having children, and there are some who explicitly don't want them or biologically can't have them, but even still, thinking about being the 1 in 4 or so is pretty high pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 11:49 AM
1

Only if you include older women involved in or influenced by past dating environments is this true 70% of women 18-29 in the US are in a committed relationship, and of those who are not majority are looking for one. (data from 2020) https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/ and men that are better than most CAN actually accommodate the having kids part for most women. Maybe they could, but they don't. In 2015–2019, 13.2% of women aged 15–24 and 84.3% of …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 02:52 AM
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Women are more beautiful to me in some way I would describe as ethereal. It's soft, fleeting, and defiant, sometiems wise. Like a butterfly, or a flower, dew, or running water. Men are beautiful in a way that's kind of proud. It's hard and rigid, guarded, but a rich inner world seeps though. Like a ray of sunshine coming through a hole in the blinds or a plant growing out of a crack in a rock. I know these aren't very visual descriptions, but Idk. I tend to find people beautiful in moments when …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 06:21 PM
4

Most women partner up and have kids eventually, at least half of the women could not partner up if they required a partner that's "better than most" by any metric.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 12:26 PM
2

As is for women. Arguably more so, since their sexual strategy necessarily requires a committed partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 10:06 AM
3

Most people are extroverted. Women more so than men. Most people prefer people like them when it comes to this because they enjoy similar activities and can spend more time together. I'm extroverted, but currently with an introvert. I have both an introverted and an extroverted ex. In my experience, there are pros and cons to both. If you're extroverted, an extroverted partner will be down for more spontaneous plans, more hanging out, more time with your friends, etc. An introverted one might no…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 12:23 AM
1

I think chemical castration is usually reversible? I believe castration should be a choice and never forced upon someone. But I would allow it to be a choice between that and prison time or you get a sentence reduction if you do it. It's the only known thing to stop recidivism in pedophiles, so I think it should be incentivized for them. I'm not sure about "normal" rapists and their recidivism rates, but I could imagine it would be much easier to do other successful interventions for them. Eithe…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 12:07 AM
10

OR we could make single men's lives better.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 11:50 PM
2

I game and work in gamedev and have dated only gamers and all of my friends are gamers, so I'm probably not a good person to ask. But I'm gonna respond anyway because I'm an egomaniac lol. I think gaming is a very widespread hobby, so it's one most women are most likely to run into in a partner or a sibling or something. It's way more common than gambling addiction for example. So I think the reason they hate it more than other things is just because they have more experience with it. As for wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 08:41 PM
0

Yeah. Humans are sexual beings in general. Treating us as people doesn't have to mean not sexualizing us in any way. It means considering us a full human being with autonomy and authentic feelings and needs of their own and being respectful of that. For example, you would have consideration for the fact that not everyone wants to be sexualized, so you would check the terrain with some pretty innocent joke, maybe something at your own expense not even including us, but sexual. Or a joke including…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 08:25 PM
1

Teach women to say no assertively. There's a lot of scare-mongering going on that makes it scarier because you think you might be violently attacked, but in most cases it's very effective. Lower the amount of slut-shaming. If women are less ostracized for their desires, they'll be more likely to express them openly rather than being coy and signaling and what-not. Encourage women to be more proactive in general when they do want things. Approach first, initiate, etc. Address their underlying fea…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 09:27 AM
1

You fulfill your duties because theybare duties. Not in pursuit of anything else but fulfilling the duty. What is the source of duties? And what is their purpose? If they're not means to an end, such as something done in order to achieve a better relationship, what are they for? Who determines them? Sorry if I'm pestering you with questions, you got me a bit curious about your way of thinking now, I don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 11:50 PM
9

I'm straight and I don't, but I've recently read an entire huge thread of women in my country's subreddit who almost all do. And reddit leans progressive here compared to the average population which is pretty conservative, which means an even smaller fraction of women is comfortable with it. Most of them expressed fears over not being able to give their partner everything they want. I think they're intimidated by the idea that they have to compete with men for something. And/or seem to associat…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 11:20 PM
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Probably around 5% of men in my age range for me. I have a problem separating out physical and emotional attraction though. As in, there are many men who're objectively hot af, but who turn me off in some way mentally, whether they exhibit some cringe behavior or just show a sign that they would be very incompatible with me personally. I instantly stop paying attention, looks alone are not enough to keep me interested even in that carnal physical way. I don't think my 5% is the top 5% in the way…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 11:05 PM
2

Ah, fuck. I don't know, to me it's obvious that this is a two-sided dynamic. Men are taught to always push boundaries and this is reinforced by experience with women who want this. Women are taught to be bashful and coy and not assertive, so they often avoid making the first move or reject explicit advances out of fear of seeming too easy. Even in relationships, a lot of guys complain about women not initiating, not being forward enough, not being proactive, not telling them what they want. And …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 10:39 PM
1

A vague and unspecified duty is just bullshit. Very legalistic thinking. Not sure if that's bad, but it's definitely not necessary. When two people want to invest into each other, they don't need a way to resolve conflicts through deductive reasoning, they're just responsive to each other's needs and feelings and trust good things will emerge out of that effort. Sometimes it can be harder to figure out what to do and how to solve an issue, but in return you gain flexibility to adapt to your chan…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 10:16 PM
1

Maybe I am wrong and asking someone to give up that much does not create any duty. It's not that it doesn't create any duty. You have a duty to care about your partner, care about their wellbeing, and that includes sexual pleasure. But caring about someone and their needs does not equate to always being personally responsible for fulfilling them. That would be like saying somebody forgoes living with other people by moving in with you, so you should always be home to fulfill their needs for comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 08:11 PM
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It doesn't sound like you want to be financing this man. And it's not your job, he has parents and can get a job if he needs to. There are plenty of solutions for dates that don't involve money. Go take a walk, go to a park, a free exhibition, play a board or video game, watch a movie, whatever. It doesn't have to be dinner. If you want paid for dates and he can't afford them and you don't want to pay for them, it sounds like you just aren't compatible. That being said, I don't think you should …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:05 PM
3

If I enter into a monogamous relationship in which my partner is no longer able to get their sexual needs met outside of getting them through me then it is my duty to meet their needs. You just assert this, but it's not objectively true in any sense. You can certainly believe it, but it's not something you can persuade others of just by saying it. That being said, nobody should be sexually unfulfilled in a relationship. You can try working on getting to a point where you have enthusiastic sex mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 06:49 PM
1

Link to Dennis Prager column for context, for anyone wondering. Spoiler alert: it's hardly the only thing he's said.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 06:31 PM
0

Who denies this?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 06:18 PM
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Yeah, people can be pretty callous or selfish towards men. It's understandable that you feel so much pressure and it's good to talk about, it may help people understand where men are coming from. Both men and women sometimes struggle to communicate these things and it creates conflict. I know I did when I was younger, I was so passive and building up frustration. Knowing a bit about the pressures the other side faces can make their behavior more understandable sometimes. And might make you see y…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 06:39 PM
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I'm doing okay, thanks (unironically, thanks for concern & good advice). I was just trying to illustrate what feeling pressure looks like on our side. I haven't even experienced all of the things I've listed, I just know that other women do, but the ones I have experienced do get much better with the right partner and some self-work. I'm not completely insecurity/pressure-free ofc, but it'd be really worrying if I actively felt everything I described above all of the time lol. Same goes for men …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 06:12 PM
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Women are not shamed for genital appearance, but they do have a lot of pressure in sex. First of all, you need to look sexy at all times. Be clean shaven all over your body, bush style the man likes, have a nice hairstyle, maintain a daily routine that allows you to look great, put on makeup. Then, during sex, you're expected to enjoy it. Vocally and visually. But not look cringe and not look too passive. But show enthusiasm and be hot while showing it. You're also expected not to make the dude …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 05:11 PM
3

Yeah, I agree. But maybe the contract is written so it's easy to break the rules or for them to get you on something. Or if not, they can still expel you and break the contract, they just owe you money back.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 11:54 AM
1

I agree with this take, tnx for sparing me the writing
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 11:40 AM
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The only thing I can think of is giving them a written signed confession or something of the sort to do with what they will. Beyond that, I'd have to talk to the person, apologize, and see where to go from there. If they requested some restitution, within reason, I'd be up for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 11:35 AM
2

This issue is very complex and you're boiling it down to feminists bad. Should colleges be running a parallel legal system like this? Personally, I find it weird and redundant. But on the other hand, they are private businesses and as long as they're not discriminating against protected characteristics, they should be able to choose their clients. This isn't just about rape or harassment. Can you expel someone who yells in front of a classroom every day? Cheats on exams multiple times? Is bellig…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 11:26 AM
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Catcalling is very much a local culture thing. Different cities have different cultures, even within the same country. Harassment though I think is pretty universal. Girls often downplay what's happening because it's often passed off as a joke. Maybe my experience isn't the American suburban middle class, I'm Eastern European, but I'm curious will you relate to anything I list. Have you ever had your hair pulled or your bra unhooked as a joke in school, for example? Did you ever get an unsolicit…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 12:57 AM
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You're begging the question though. The usage of the phrase "remain faithful" implies that she's being unfaithful, which is a morally loaded term. No society I know of in the history of humanity had the expectation of people that they don't move on after their spouse dies. All the major religions agree that you are free to remarry. People were historically pressured to, in fact, depending on their age and status. It's more than normal and people would not apply the word "unfaithful" to it. While…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 12:13 AM
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You know what other countries have morality law? All of them? What is the law if not an expression of our shared morality?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 12:02 AM
1

From what I've seen in my many years of browsing niche internet red pill content, it seems like men aren't being pushed in terrible directions: work out, develop yourself, don't be a push-over, demand equal returns on your investments in relationships etc. Nobody is against any of this. Maybe not nobody, but not most of the women on here. Women are against AWALT, 10-scale obsession, being called gold diggers, negging, being considered incapable of love, men giving up entirely because they believ…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 08:39 AM
1

Still, he's forced to do much more than when they live in the same household. But I take your point, it's not a guarantee. I'm just thinking, if there's anything women would find attractive in a single father, it would probably be that slightly increased probability that he would be good with kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 11:39 PM
1

A lot of men don't do their fair share with children and chores and it's a huge fear for a lot of women that their man is gonna turn out to be like that and that they're going to have 24/7 all burdens placed on them during a very vulnerable and hard period. Seeing a man who can pull it off by himself, even if he has 50-50 custody but especially if he doesn't, can he very hot. On the other hand, when it comes to single moms, a lot of men are much more concerned with the fact that the burden of pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 12:00 AM
4

men generally have no standards. They will try to fuck anything that moves and thus male attention is generally easy to come by and worthless for women. Trying to find a good man is like trying to find clean water in a swamp. Most men have standards. but also, men are pornsick and spoilt by beautiful women in media. They expect women to look like models (even though most straight men don't care about fashion models since they are generally too skinny and fashion is primarily a hobby of gay men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 12:42 PM
1

I don't really, those women would have to be really terminally online to generalize that to all men. The "worst" that happens is that they watch out for red flags like using the lingo or tactics.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 10:40 PM
1

You saved me some typing, pretty much the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 10:36 PM
3

Are you in favor of prison reform, rehabilitative justice, and legalizing marijuana? If that's the case, cool, those seem like some fair criticisms. But I can't see how holding a public prosecutor responsible for doing her job is comparable to holding a President responsible for crimes. She didn't decide those laws or set up the prison system, but it was her job to prosecute. Perhaps she was harder on some cases she could've dismissed or allowed a plea deal for than would've been fair, but holdi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 01:21 AM
7

What has she done that's worse than felonies and an insurrection? And your username isn't helping your case...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 09:14 PM
14

I love how the right would rather have a convicted felon who tried to coup the government as president than a woman who has no biological children, and yet you're asking the left to apologize and disavow a double standard you assume would maybe probably happen if somebody did in fact attack a male politician like this. Seems like America really has its priorities straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 09:10 AM
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I agree, but I don't think demanding it in the moment is a good idea. You can have a conversation about it at another time in a non-sexual context when there's no pressure to immediately do anything. And if they don't care enough to change something, then you break up. Having a "we're not done, I didn't cum" confrontation is inappropriate imo. Sry maybe I'm just being a bit obtuse, maybe you just meant "we shouldn't be done until both feel satisfied, people should care about each other's pleasur…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:09 PM
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Responsibility depends on who did what and why. For example, if I never communicated that I want an orgasm, how to help me achieve it, when do I want it, do I want it every time we have sex, etc. then it's almost entirely my responsibility that it didn't happen. I say almost because I'd expect most men to ask, I'd ask if they weren't cumming, but still, it's primarily my responsibility. If I communicate everything and we have agreed we'd try to get me there together and what-not, then it depends…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:37 PM
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If only one person climaxed and the other person did not and wants to, you’re not done. You decide when you're done. The other person can decide to not be satisfied with how you tend to make that decision. But putting pressure to continue a sexual act when one person no longer wants to is kinda rapey. Not trying to say you shouldn't discuss it or that there is no selfishness involved on the part of the person not putting in effort, etc. Just saying that even though the person may be kind of in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:26 PM
1

I would. I probably have the upper hand, but not completely sure, things could easily flip.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:10 PM
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Daniel. I don't care too much for those kinds of gestures of affection. It's nice when somebody pays attention and gets you a nice very personalized gift, but healthy conflict resolution and just consistency of being there and caring feel much more affectionate and intimate. As long as being "jaded" doesn't manifest in any other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:05 PM
2

Would be a pretty funny way to doxx myself
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 07:58 AM
6

Sometimes I accuse people of having bad intentions when they don't. I just feel insecure about something and am interpreting their words as attacking me when they aren't. I do feel remorse and apologize. I also sometimes avoid confrontation when I shouldn't. Which means I deny people opportunities to improve whatever the thing is, but get angry silently instead. And then I am way more frustrated by the time I do decide to tell them about it, so I communicate the thing more harshly and am somewha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:04 AM
2

You have to have great interpersonal and persuasion skills to succeed, depending on the country you may have to be quite corrupt to get anywhere, and depending on the branch of law you specialize in you quite likely have seen Some Shit™, whether it's the callousness of business, ugly family drama, work mistreatment, medical malpractice, or scary criminal stuff, you've likely seen at least some traumatic stuff. I feel like you may form some emotional callouses from all that. All of that combined …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:05 PM
1

Theo or Julian. Emil is way too tall lol and I'm hella tall for a woman. He's a bit simple, I love people who're able to enjoy simple things, but I find it weird if just that is enough stimulation for someone. And dark past is sus. James is great, but I'm not big on religion, assuming we mean Abrahamic religions. My current bf is the first atheist I've dated and it's much more of a relief than I thought it was before lol. I wouldn't say it's a complete deal-breaker for me, but it introduces need…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 02:25 PM
7

You may not know who he is and unless mom is willing to spill the beans, you don't have much of a chance of finding out. And she can say she doesn't remember or something. But yeah, he should.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 10:58 PM
1

Most do. Source? As said, I acknowledge I might be in a bubble. I acknowledge that men in my life might not be introspective enough to know what they'd do in such a situation. I might not be either. But this view is simply surprising to me, I don't view it that way, people around me don't view it that way, and I don't have any data about what happens irl statistically. To be clear, if you find out early on, I understand, I'd leave too. I don't know exactly where the line is. The closer to birth …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:17 AM
0

I say supposedly because we had wars, we were bombed by NATO, and had a violent revolution, and our country dissolved into multiple smaller ones. I'm really not sure how accurate people's recountings of what happened in hospitals were. I do believe a lot of shit happened, we passed legislation to prevent some of it after, but I really can't be sure, so I emphasized. And paternity fraud is awful, should be heavily criminally penalized, nobody should be legally responsible for a child that isn't t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 08:06 AM
1

I'm around 23, I won't break it down. Partner: Physical: - shorter than average/me - very muscly - average face - plain style - ok hygiene Left with 18 Finances, education, social: - rich - bachelor's + masters - ok communicator Left with 12 Other traits: - loyal - empathetic - good listener - young - flirts with others, but doesn't cheat - phone addict I think that leaves exactly 0 points if I didn't miscalculate. This was fun lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:23 AM
0

It's not the sex. First of all, the kind of thing you experienced as a teen may be a bit obsessive and unhealthy. Google limerence and learn about it a bit. It's kind of difficult to differentiate from a healthy crush, especially if you've never experienced a healthy crush, but it's and important concept to be aware of. I believe it's actually similar to what people call oneitis around here. Second of all, it is possible to damage one's ability to pair bond. Through trauma. If you've bonded to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:00 AM
3

Not being able to take responsibility for stuff, especially resorting to manipulation and playing the victim when confronted, is pretty pathetic. Any sort of pickme / not like other girls behavior past a certain age. It's understandable in teens bc they're still learning about gender and their own identity and trying to cope with the way society views them, but it becomes less and less acceptable as you grow up. Making false allegations of any kind, weaponizing society's tendency to be protectiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:39 AM
2

I love beards. Most women who I know that dislike them only dislike them because of the scratchy feeling when kissing, almost everyone likes them aesthetically if you can grow a beard that's not patchy and groom it at least a little.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:27 AM
0

My mom was given a boy and when she said she had a girl the nurse told her she knows better and left her with someone else's baby lol. Tbf it was 90s Yugoslavia and they fixed it half an hour later lol, but supposedly that stuff happened a lot in the 90s here. Maybe it's not as realistic/common as a cheating partner, but you can imagine a hospital mixup or a mixup of eggs for IVF or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:17 AM
16

They probably don't know how to be single. They have needs that they don't know how to fulfill on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 01:03 AM
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Oh? I used to have a I would personally never, but I support others choosing position. And then one friend simply asked me "But why wouldn't you?" and that sent me down a rabbit hole lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 09:46 AM
1

I'm pro-life and pro-paternity testing, you're barking up the wrong tree. Suing the mother when they're an adult won't heal trauma of parental abandonment and growing up in poverty. I agree it's none of your business if the kid is like 2 months old when you find out, but if it's 15yo you can't tell me you would not feel an ounce of responsibility?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:08 AM
2

I'm pro-life lol. But I get your point, the kid is a living reminder of a big trauma. And paternity fraud is definitely deeply traumatic. But a large part of the trauma is that you've often come to love the kid by the time you find out and then you have this ambivalence of feeling used and the kid reminding you of it, but also having a close bond with the child. It would be kind of analogous to woman realizing she was raped after she's been a mother for years. Imagine she was raised in a misogyn…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 10:17 PM
3

I meant what is moral from the perspective of the father aka what's moral for him to do. He can't really influence what everyone else did in the situation. Mom was obviously in the wrong and should face criminal charges for paternity fraud. She shouldn't be exempt because the child needs someone to take care of them or whatever, I would maybe introduce a delayed sentence for when the kid is 25 or something to avoid punishing the child for her crimes. The kid is innocent. The father is also innoc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 10:01 PM
2

What may remove the moral obligation here is the deception involved. If you adopt a child, I hope we both agree you become responsible for it? The problem in this scenario is you became responsible under false pretenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 09:21 PM
2

Wdym lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 09:00 PM
5

I feel a lot of this is theoretical outrage about imagined scenarios and they would have more complex / ambivalent feelings if it really happened to them. I do believe the dudes who'd just bail are out there, but I don't think half of the people here talking about betas and cucks and suckers would really instantly lose all the love for the kid, as much as they'd prefer to. I wouldn't compel anyone by law, I don't think it's right, if they really don't want anything to do with the kid they might …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:59 PM
5

Serbia
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:39 PM
1

I used to really a lot during my teen years, I just wanted to feel needed. I don't think it's healthy, but it still gets me sometimes when I make a positive impact on someone's life, it can be a bit intoxicating. It might be part of the reason I spend time here too lol, other than enjoying the debate. It's definitely a dangerous fantasy, you need to keep an eye on it or it can blind you to some bad stuff. I think it results from a childhood where you were parentified or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:39 PM
17

I agree with you. In my country, you can nullify paternity if there was paternity fraud with DNA evidence in court, even if you're married. I think this should be the case everywhere. To play the devil's advocate for a second though, it depends a bit on the scenario. What if you find out when the child is like 15 years old and you've played a role of a father in their life the whole time and you have a parental relationship with them? Is it really moral to just cut ties entirely and not give a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:30 PM
1

I see objectification as a sort of a spectrum. A degree of it can be a part of your sexuality in non-harmful ways if it doesn't come out and harm others in some sense. Complete objectification would mean total dehumanization, you see someone purely as a tool for your own ends. In this case, sexual pleasure, but it can be other things, like a gold digger objectifying a man as a source of money. Complete dehumanization would mean that you find my pleasure and my wishes irrelevant as long as you're…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 09:48 AM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 10:49 PM
1

Feminism isn't fighting for equality between men and women; it is fighting for men to become second-class citizens like women were many centuries ago. It hasn't been one (1) century in most of the world since women got the right to vote. The first country ever was New Zealand 130 years ago, most were after WW1. Just a point of fact / perspective. I don't agree with the overall point, but I don't want to comment since I'm not from the West, so I'm afraid I'd draw on examples from my personal life…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:50 PM
2

First of all, you don't have to have everything in common to have something in common. Second of all, a relationship won't work if you don't share core values and have enough in common to be good friends basically. I have friends who are wildly different than me, but with each of them I bond on something shared. You need at least something to fill your time with day to day and motivate you to keep up regular contact other than sex lol. It doesn't have to be something fancy like both of you doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:38 PM
1

Tbh I don't know anything about the culture of old money rich people, they may as well be aliens
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:56 PM
6

It's not the same women. Reddit skews hella liberal, hence the conservative-hate. When it comes to casual sex I'll give you that one, while on PPD there might be some bias towards more introverted / higher impulse control women, in general online women are probably keeping their sex lives a bit private. Whether bc of internalized shame or trying to protect from reputational damage. Although statistically most women aren't super into casual sex, I believe around 10% are really into it and have lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:48 PM
1

Depends on what you define patriarchy as, but if you mean men will always have more motivation than women to compete financially because of female selectiveness, you may be right. As long as women value income, it will be that way. I'm not sure will women indefinitely value more income no matter what, though. "Provisioning" can mean so much more than bringing money home. The point of provisioning is making sure that children have all of their needs met. As we become more rich and our basic needs…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:32 PM
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Oh no, another internet symptom I have 🤦🏻‍♀️ I should rly get checked
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:20 PM
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Incels have actually been studied. About 18% have diagnosed autism, and around 75% have some autistic traits. Most of them deal with depression, anxiety, etc. There are obvious social issues and body dysmorphia. As for the rest of us... Spending too much time on reddit, especially fixating on a sub like this, is definitely not a sign of normalcy. Idk if I'd go all the way to neurodivergence, but tbh I do assume it to a much higher degree than for random strangers outside of this context.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:19 PM
2

I don't see how >90% accuracy is inconsistent with a continuum. The 10% of errors are probably outliers near the middle of a bimodal distribution. Also, it's a bit hasty to ascribe this fully to biological sex immediately. Our brains are pretty neuroplastic and experiences can shape our brain function a lot. And a lot of experiences in our society are gendered. That being said, I didn't think masculine and feminine brains were a controversial subject in neurology / psychiatry. Brain feminizarion…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:08 PM
2

Personally, I'll always offer. But culturally, this one is on you to draw boundaries. I'm not going to police how other people date. I feel like this movement can only meaningfully come from men, we could just support/amplify it if it happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:17 PM
3

If I had to choose, probably Paul. The money thing bothers me though, not making a lot is ok if it's by choice (aka pursuing arts), but if you're not capable of financing yourself if shit hits the fan that's extremely off-putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:11 PM
2

Sometimes we think very transactionally about our value in romantic relationships. Think about what you value your friends for. Someone's always there to listen to you someone cracks good jokes, someone's always there to give some hands on help, somebody brings homemade cookies and raindeer horns to work for Christmas. Somebody is always compassionate and helps you understand different people, somebody gets heated and defends you strongly making you feel confident. Not to say the transactional a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 01:15 PM
1

A lot of men are pressured to be providers from a young age. A lot of our society reflects this, men pay for dates, men choose higher paying jobs, they compete in who has a fancier car or whatever, they tend to be more ambitious. It's not that they want a SAHM, it's that they're afraid that they don't bring anything to the table when they can't take care of a woman or, worse, she takes care of them. This is absolutely a false view and men have a lot to bring to the table other than money, but a …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:08 AM
1

I am in a position to easily get a work visa in a cooler country and a lot of educated young people are leaving, but I don't really want to. I have family and community here, I have assets, I have a good standard of life as in salary to local prices ratio, that I would not have in a more economically advanced county. I am also somewhat attached to my culture, even though I'm an oddball who's not a stereotypical example of it and hate many of its aspects. I feel lonely when cut off from my langua…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:01 AM
1

Whoa, a time traveler :0
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:01 AM
–

Be her friend first, but: tease and banter, you don't have to escalate to sex/romance too quickly, but don't make the energy too platonic, it's helpful if light teasing is your communication style in general so she doesn't feel singled out. It doesn't have to be sexual teasing and no negging, just make fun of something you know about her that's not a sore spot for her playfully, and take it well if she does it back don't be her friend for 3 years and then do a dramatic confession 3 days after sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 08:50 AM
1

You mean to do it right after the beginning, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 07:22 PM
4

Sounds like a plan! I can't think of a better foreplay than measuring each other's genitals lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 05:15 PM
3

It's usually not due to the partner. From what I've read, it's about the distance of the clitoris from vagina, if it's more than 2.5cm/1inch women tend not to be able to orgasm from penetration because their clit is not stimulated enough by the friction. It can sometimes be due to clitoral desensitization for various reasons or something also, or psychological reasons (usually with women who struggle to orgasm in general). Whichever the case, it's very unlikely to be due to the man. So yeah, I a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 04:37 PM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 02:24 PM
1

I used to, but my current partner explicitly insisted that I do not give him the passcode now and I have grown to enjoy that tbh. It feels weird that we're digitalizing so much of our experience and personal conversations and stuff to the point that now we have a written down history of our conversations and political opinions and bs. What about all of the interactions that happen irl? Why should conversations I have with my BFF irl or in a phone call be private, but the ones I have over text no…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 02:20 PM
2

She wants more personal information on your life. She doesn't feel like you trust her enough to tell her about the things you struggle with, that upset you, or that worry you. Maybe you don't express the underlying emotions, i.e. you get angry that she's late, but the underlying emotion is actually that you feel like she doesn't respect your time and are afraid that that means she doesn't value you very much. But you only express the anger and you get into an argument about how bad the traffic j…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 02:07 PM
1

First of all, don't invest yourself too much in an identity you have constructed for yourself. If you're still young, how do you know what you will be attracted to past 30? Most men are attracted to young women, but they also tend to like and date women around their own age. Having a really strong opinion and lots of arguments about how you'll do this or that may make it more difficult to recognize your genuine desires as they come about. If you're attracted to a 30yo woman at some point, it won…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 01:53 PM
1

It's just an easy thing to go for if you want to hurt somebody you don't know. You don't know what things they're sensitive around, but almost everybody has insecurities about their appearance, if they have a profile pic wherever you're talking it's easy to find something that doesn't conform to society's beauty standard. If there's no profile pic, chances are if you go for dick size you'll be right, since so many men are insecure about that, even the well-endowed ones lol. Why they want to hurt…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 05:36 PM
1

By that standard, likely almost nobody of any gender is monogamous. Maybe some people desire it less some more often/intensely, but there is almost no human on this Earth who would never choose sex outside of committed partnership if they could have it for free literally and if they had no personal moral qualms about it. Even then, men who tend to be more naturally monogamous would still probably prefer having a primary committed partnership that they return to, where they develop intimacy and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 08:06 AM
1

No problem!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:54 AM
2

Haha I don't think there's anything psychopathic about it, different strokes for different folks. But I think you're breaking it down to logically. It sounds as if you expect that all guys actually want non-monogamy, but are suppressing this urge for the sake of children. I don't believe this is the case. Men are more sociosexual than women aka prone to desiring promiscuity and non-monogamy. Men who are highly sociosexual respond strongly to pornographic material, but not so much romantic imager…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:23 PM
1

Whatever legal benefits your country offers. Usually it's the right to inherit stuff including pension in socialized retirement countries, the right to hospital visits, tax writeoffs, sharing all of the property you acquire together, being able to put them on your health insurance, the right not to be made to testify against each other, ability to acquire visas to move or work abroad, taking family leave to take care of each other. Not many marital benefits are related to children. Regardless of…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:05 PM
2

Maybe you're naturally non-monogamous or aromantic or something. Most people kinda want a commited roommate they can sleep with, regardless of children. Benefits: more regular sex on average, shared finances make everything cheaper, shared chores save you time, making a long-term commitment for a life together tends to motivate people to invest more into the relationship emotionally, so it gets more intimate, more time for each other (just living together means you probably see each other daily)…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:59 PM
12

Can you really not conceive of any benefit of a committed relationship other than children? I really doubt you truly need this explained.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 03:02 PM
2

Woman Around 300 Around 10 that are consistent (boyfriend family and close friends that I talk to daily or every couple of days), and probably 20ish more that are more networky business connections or less close friends that I keep in touch with and see sometimes, but I'm not too active in those chats
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:40 AM
2

It is an insult bc a lot of men base their self-worth on ability to get laid, so it's meant to hit where it hurts. Or you have legitimately said something that misunderstands women so deeply it sounds like you've never talked to one intimately. Usually the first one though probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 11:04 PM
1

Yeah, I agree with this entire comment & have had similar conversations. It's funny we talk about it like it's scandalous and unexpected, while it's so commonly understood that boys have crushes on their teachers and MILF is literally one of the most popular porn genres. Yet men don't tend to date or marry much older women either. Women and girls are not that much different, except that they may have a bit more of an opportunity to experiment with these fantasies if they so choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 07:27 PM
3

I mean, there are tradcony men who are upset about it. OP asked specifically about dating. I can see why redpillers would be like "that's not an own you think it is" lol but y'all are not all men. I have no problem with age gap casual sex for people who want that. I think a lot of young women are looking for that specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 07:14 PM
3

I don't have casual sex, but if I did I would, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:36 PM
1

I agree with your analysis, as you say, by the old standard. But I don't hold to the old standard and it's not the sex and commitment I am worried about, but more the getting used bit. While I'm not in support of excessive promiscuity, women enjoy sex too and it's possible to have a relationship that is not serious. Even if it's not what a young woman ideally wants, it's up to her to fight for what she wants and set her own boundaries, it's not abuse to have different desires. The thing I have p…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:02 PM
1

I'm not sure how true this is given that you have two forces working in opposite directions essentially. Younger women have higher libidos, yes. But they're also more likely to be attracted around their age group, maybe slightly older. So higher libido makes a chance of her being attracted to an older man higher perhaps. But the preference for similar age makes it lower. ( compared to an older woman ) I'm not sure how those things add up, do they even out, does one win out? I would personally gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:38 PM
2

It's absurd to look at men and women as some cohesive groups that take group actions. Men can't any more take away women's rights than women can all become political lesbians or something. If we worked as one gendered body together while continuing to live together, yes, men would simply overpower us. But society doesn't work that way, people care about their personal interest, their family's wellbeing, their local community. They form their opinions based on their immediate social circle. Nobod…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:00 PM
11

I do find older men attractive and always did, I just would not date them. Generational gap is huge both in the ways we communicate, spend time, the friends we have, etc. They would give me less healthy kids. Men already die earlier than women, a much older man would die much earlier than me, leaving me alone in old age + leaving my kids grieving their father younger. They'd have less energy for physical activity together. Not to mention the discrepancy in life experience and independence that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 01:27 PM
1

I don't think there is a single definition, there are many very different men who are good men. Some good men are warm and kind and community-oriented. Some are boastful and loud and silly, but would die for their family. Some are cutthroat business people who still have a code of honor and a noble purpose for their pursuits. Some are on an individualistic path of self-development and self-actualization which may lead them to become great artists, spiritual leaders, or thinkers. Some are kind of…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 01:11 PM
1

Depends, sometimes limerence can be worsened by avoiding the person because you idealize and objectify them in your mind to the point where they become this unrealistic perfect partner. So if your crush is an object of limerence, exposure can be better than avoidance. Obviously though, that only works if you're certain you have a strong enough moral conviction not to do anything dumb even if you happen to get a chance. Idk much about this admittedly, it's just something I've read while reading u…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 10:41 PM
1

Aww, that sucks. :/ Losing friends is tough, whether it's a big argument or just drifting apart. We don't have much cultural rituals for grieving lost friendships, like we do for relationship breakups and stuff where people tend to be much more understanding and supportive. But it can be really painful. Hope you find better friends 🌸
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 10:21 PM
2

You can choose a partner you're compatible with, prioritize that relationship, and also maintain and cherish your friendships. It's not mutually exclusive. But I see a lot of people, usually men, call their friends doormats and say they're never around once they stop hanging out or gaming every other night or say "can't, got a date" or "gotta be home for dinner" when asked to hang out. Not to mention when people have children. I mean, yeah, sure, they still need to put effort in and keep in touc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 07:06 PM
1

I understand the sentiment, but I think it's prejudicial and a bit weird. I understand a lot of men objectify women and cannot form proper friendships with them because of this. I understand that even for those who don't, social norms and boundaries will prevent a lot of expressions of friendship that a girl's girl has with her friends, it's much harder to be as intimate with a guy without it having romantic undertones. So I get that they can't have the kinds of friendships with men that they're…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 09:01 AM
17

It's a much different vibe if I sit at one side of the bench reading a book for someone to ask is the space free and sit on the other side doing their own thing. Vs just sitting down next to me and starting to talk to me. The issue with the latter is... You want to give strangers you're approaching as many non-awkward non-threatening exit options as possible. It makes people relax a lot while talking to you. If I don't want to talk to you at all or if I change my mind about talking to you and we…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 11:19 PM
–

Sounds reasonable if you're okay with slight deviations like religious but values align with yours (more spiritual than dogmatic), vegan but non-militant, not very frugal but 0 debt and covers the costs of her own lavishness, etc. Basically, if I read the list as the spirit of what you were going for, not exactly the list to the letter, it's very reasonable. If it has to be exactly to the letter everything you wrote, maybe it's slightly unreasonable, but not too much lol. It is a big list, but y…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 08:08 PM
1

I think twerking in public specifically falls into the types of things a couple should agree on. Just going to a nightclub is fine imo, objecting to that would be controlling, but twerking specifically and other overtly sexual dancing with others is kind of over the line. Imo if he met her at a nightclub twerking or knew her as a friend before and knew she did that, he should expect that she will probably continue to do so. He can still object, but imo it's shitty to enter a relationship and the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 05:53 PM
2

I get along great with men, this sub notwithstanding lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 11:20 AM
5

Studying human partner preferences is in the domain of psychology already and is being studied. It doesn't require a pill "praxeology" in backwater subs of reddit filled with incels and misogyny to explore these scientific questions. I wish I could say nobody opposes the study of this, but people do oppose evopsych occasionally. But that's not what you're talking about, you're asking about redpill specifically, and redpill ≠ actual study of these questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 10:47 AM
0

These are the absolute numbers and not the ratio of adverse events per encounter. Imagine you have two companies A and B in your town. A has thousands of employees and hires a lot of people, B has 30 employees and rarely hires. Last year, A has hired 123 people, and B has hired 4. If both companies have an active job ad, you could say you're more likely to get hired at A. But what if A received 5000 applications and B received 10? Suddenly, B hires almost half the people applying, while A is way…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 10:50 AM
1

They are trying to signal they care for the children, they're skilled with childrearing, they're involved with the community, they are attacking someone trying to inflict reputational damage. Idk if they look feminine to most people, but they're trying to virtue signal feminine traits and it makes them look like that to other mom-shamers at least. I think the wrench in this particular machine is that people don't associate being confrontational with femininity, and mommy-shaming is very confront…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 10:34 AM
1

It's not about the guy's age, it's more about my own experience and outlook. If I feel like I'm way more comfortable around sex, relationships, communication, etc. than he is, that might be a problem, it might be too much hassle to work to get him out of his shell. If he's a virgin, but doesn't have shame, insecurity, immature conceptions about sex, lack of education in anatomy, fear of communication, etc. then that's fine, it will take some time to get used to each other, but tbh it does with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 01:03 PM
3

I didn't mean to imply that it was biologically a male trait to be aggressive. Men just tend to be socialized that way because we stigmatize them expressing emotions that are not anger. Same with the ways in which women are toxic. Either more healthy behaviors are stigmatized or they're not held accountable enough when they want to be coddled. It's not gendered because of biology (mostly, at least I believe so), it's gendered because society applies gendered pressure to people and nudges them to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:25 PM
13

Don't women do this significantly more often? Just look at the man vs bear thing. I genuinely cannot tell if women are trolling how dumb the bear take is. I think a lot of them are serious and it's slightly scary. Wtf. Not only is it deeply misandrist, it shows failure to grasp basic statistics. But Idk about more often, I see both genders doing it for sure and I think what we see more often depends a lot on our particular bubble. But yeah, regarding women who exhibit everything I described in m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 08:22 PM
46

First of all, it is true that men are not allowed by society to express as much emotion or get emotional support compared to women. It's obvious why men in response to that would learn to repress and cope in perhaps less healthy ways. So I just want to acknowledge from the get go that this is going to be more difficult for you and if you're already doing a bunch of things I talk about and it's still not working, it's not your fault. That being said, I think there's a lot of problems with how men…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:27 PM
5

I'm not a doctor, this isn't medical advice. You just sound a bit discouraged by how your treatment is going, so I wanted to share how I see it in case it's helpful. If you have recurrent depression or disthymia, your doctor may keep you on drugs forever, they'll just make sure to watch for tolerance developing and try different drugs if that doesn't work. It's more rare, but some brains are just chemically fucked and need a continual boost. But if you're just in a depressive episode, the idea i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 08:04 PM
–

It can also be virtue signaling
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 08:49 AM
–

I don't think we're lying exactly to say that, but we are kind of wrong. I think we're attracted to proxies for income. Hearing the number itself does nothing for me sexually, but seeing confidence, sociability and wide network, lack of financial anxiety, ability to not be a pushover and negotiate, in general feeling free to express oneself honestly and assert oneself in the world, intelligence, discipline, a lot of small social customs that are indicators of the social class you belong to, etc.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 08:41 AM
20

It's not biological, at least when it comes to rape, it's often a way to mentally circumvent society shaming women's sexuality and promiscuity. If she is raped in her fantasy, it wasn't her choice, she's still pure and innocent, but can secretly enjoy it. Human women are selective maters and rape is evolutionarily the worst thing that could happen to them, taking their choice of mate away. In fantasies, it's always a hot man you actually desire raping you, it's never a hobo from the street who y…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 08:10 AM
1

I just want to say that this logic would not be acceptable if you were applying it to race, ethnicity, sexuality. People who cross the street when encountering a black person in America or who grip their purse or whatever are rightly condemned. Even though they could probably say the exact same thing, they've been mugged before by a black person, they have heard so many stories, they witnessed others being victimized, blah blah. I too have biases. Tbh, I too am more afraid of strange men than st…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:15 AM
2

Child support is not designed to be fair to the father or the mother, it's designed to be fair to the child. The child bears no responsibility for being here in the first place and needs to be provided for. The state doesn't want to take the added burden upon itself / taxpayers and thus incentivize having kids like this, so the parent who doesn't have custody has to pay. Note that the law is gender-neutral on that subject, but abortion and other issues make it so the woman is rarely the one payi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:02 AM
–

It could be. It's a good basis for exploitation, as in, it has the inherent power dynamic that would enable him to exploit her, but that doesn't mean that's what ends up happening. I think situations with a huge power dynamic due to a power gap should be avoided, but aren't inherently exploitative, just have high potential to become exploitative. Yes. If she's not attracted to him and is pursuing him due to a hidden agenda, that's exploitative. Not really, assuming they're both fulfilling their …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:36 AM
1

If you don't have any proof that this idea did not originate in How I Met Your Mother (e.g. it being mentioned online before the episode aired), I will dismiss it on the basis of that lol ( Seriously tho, no. )
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:29 AM
–

There is a long history spanning from ancient Egypt and sugar waxes to modern day razor industry of human aesthetic hair removal. Some of it are manufactured preferences by those who want to sell us goods and services. Some of it is natural biological male preference for sexually dimorphic and neotenous features in women, including hairlessness. Some of it is due to modern political connotations. Because everyone has sort of accepted that female hairiness is bad, the only people pushing back aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:27 AM
1

A tree and a bear, match made in heaven
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:18 AM
–

They are morally responsible, but they don't necessarily owe anything to A specifically. It's more a bad thing to do in general, but they aren't exactly doing it to A, if that makes sense. Like, if somebody buys out toilet paper in the local store when a pandemic hits, they're doing a bad thing that's impacting me negatively, but they aren't exactly doing it to me, we don't even know each other. This feels similar. Now, if A and X know each other, especially if they're close friends, then it's a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:14 AM
–

What I’m talking about is a man and woman are married, years down the road they both decide it’s over. She doesn’t work and he does. He is required to pay for her still or it is financial abuse. He is required to pay for everything until they are divorced then probably pay alimony. He is paying because she has spent years that could have been spent increasing her knowledge, experience, network, etc. to earn her a higher salary taking care of him and their kids instead. They split what they earne…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:57 PM
–

they don't get to know about me being a victim of severe domestic violence You don't owe anybody to share this. If you develop a relationship where you feel safe enough to do so eventually, it could be a wonderful intimate moment of feeling understood and accepted, but you don't need to do it until and unless it feels safe. or my child If you have a child, this is a bit more important to disclose. Not necessarily on the first date, but early on. Especially if you have any custody. If you don't h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 10:16 AM
1

The person I'm responding to did not argue that most don't, but rather that women "are totally unable to". I was responding to him, so I responded to what he actually said.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 11:35 PM
3

Bumble proves that it's not that they were just unwilling to make the first move, but that they were unable to even when they had to. They didn't have to. They still get approached by men irl, on other apps, and even when they send a bad opener such as "heyy" they don't lose their chance with the guy. Moreover, they still have more matches and don't have to message each one. They don't lose anything by not putting the effort in. Sexual selection is done by the female in humans. My assumption is …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 10:43 AM
1

Honestly neither, I get that that's a cop out answer, but I think both of those are deal-breaker level flaws unless a person is looking for that very specific dynamic. 5 in looks if he's attracted to her, neither if he isn't. Both lack of attraction and lack of partner's enthusiasm for you are deal breakers. High body count imo for sure. Unless the guy has kids of his own, then maybe he'd be more compatible with someone who has kids also. Is he attracted to the 4? If so, clearly the 4. If not, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:47 AM
2

Lol anecdotally all women I know who're into either of those are pretty bossy, yeah. I never noticed until you pointed it out. I don't think it's a red flag though, it might suggest a certain temperament (not sure it even does), but whether you prefer that temperament or not is a preference. I know men who love it and who hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:36 AM
3

Nobody can smell your internal state if you're not acting it out in some way. I think it's just a phrase, I don't think anyone means it literally. If they do, they're dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:32 AM
-1

The first logic leap happened when you assumed that women not doing something means they were unable to do it. They may have been unwilling. The second happened when you assumed this must be because of biology. Your logic is sound other than those two leaps if I'm not missing something.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:24 AM
6

If your town is the everyone knows everyone kind of small and you have no clue what to do, you need to move into a big city. If you haven't figured it out by now and everyone already knows you and has an opinion and everyone kinda pairs up early, there's not much hope. If you're in a medium-sized city with loads of people and activities, but you feel like your socializing options are limited because of the culture and urbanization plan of your city, I am not as sure. I don't have much experience…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/24 09:01 AM
5

It's not about not wanting it, it's about not needing it. Many people I know, including those in relationships, would be very unhappy with the fact of living alone for the rest of their lives. Honestly, just thinking about that future for me sounds so depressing. I can't imagine being single for the rest of my life This sounds like you can't be happy content fulfilled person unless you get a partner. That's different from wanting a partner. You NEED them to function healthily. That's not good. Y…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/24 07:06 AM
1

I've never understood what this is or where it comes from. I don't know if I can agree or disagree with you on this. My sense is that it's something else and likely something that involves them doing actual work on themselves that does not involve causing problems with their partner or relationship. So many women I've dated would've been better served at certain points by simply reading a book or taking up an art project. Oh, yeah, depends what the need is, it's not always appropriate to ask for…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:03 PM
0

I think it's interesting that women talk about 'needing men to communicate' 'more' or 'better.' But it sounds like what you're saying is that, despite the popularity of these kinds of gripes coming from women, it's actually women who need to communicate better? I don't think men should be given a free pass on this topic exactly. Both genders have their own issues with communication. Women often feel afraid to set boundaries, demand things, or communicate disapproval of any kind. They're overly a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:25 PM
2

I don't think it's instinctual as much as it's more obvious. Your genitals are outside, they touch other things, you touch them to pee, tuck, etc. You ejaculate in your sleep if you don't do it yourself. It's generally easier for you to ejaculate than for us to orgasm, takes less time, less trial and error.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:03 PM
2

I never felt shame really, but I wasn't educated about what it is or how to do it and didn't care much for it throughout puberty. I think part of the problem is that it's harder for us to reach an orgasm, so we're less likely to accidentally figure it out. Plus our genitals are not protruding in the same way and we don't touch them for things like peeing, tucking in, etc. We have to really intentionally touch them sexually. I remember noticing that vibrations felt nice (sitting in old buses, sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:58 PM
–

Do you really think they have “chemistry” with all of those things? Kinda? You wouldn't use that word because it usually has a sexual connotation, but to me it means that I vibe with someone, we intuitively understand each other, we can communicate subtext, there's a level of trust and rapport easily built up. You know when you make a friend and you really hit it off and talk a lot and stuff, but it's not someone you're attracted to, not even your preferred gender if you don't prefer all, it's j…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:47 PM
–

Okay, so I think this is a very sound social analysis and I think it's accurate and gendered for the reasons you describe. But in your post and especially where you reply in the comments, it sounds like you look at it more black and white. Women are more prone to this cognitive quirk, that doesn't mean all women all of the time, nor does it mean that men don't do it. I would add that women are more likely to demand that others do something about their feelings, while men are more likely to feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:33 PM
3

( using heteronormative language to conform to the question of the post, but men can be raped too and rape can occur in non-straight relationships ) I think the confusion comes from the fact that something can be traumatic in the exact same way that rape is without legally or ethically constituting rape. For example, imagine if a woman is raised in a patriarchal society and she believes she needs to sacrifice to please a man. And imagine if he wants to have sex and she doesn't. But she feels lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:12 PM
–

Yup, it's a big deal. It would not be a deal breaker for me personally, but my mind automatically assumes things as if you're a NT individual. It would take me a while to train myself not to think you're ignoring me or you're shy and unconfident based on avoiding eye contact, if I could even do it. I have an autistic buddy, but he masks well and has practiced looking at you (he actually looks at the bridge of the nose, but I don't see the difference). There's also something incredibly romantic/s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 07:47 PM
1

Simply put - I want to feel like you want me, not need me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 11:43 PM
1

I agree it would be more helpful to separate out those two statistics to make sure people have a realistic image of what's going on. That being said, you approaching a woman and being weird or creepy is not harassment. Here's some examples of sexual harassment I've experienced: unsolicited nudes, including someone from an anonymous account sending me unsolicited nudes of my ex a guy at a house party trying to grab my boobs from the back under a poncho I was wearing, but over my shirt, I managed …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 09:35 AM
5

Number 2 is due to hypergamy primarily I would guess, but women's average earnings across the board compared to men's average earnings across the board are heavily impacted by motherhood. 1 2
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 08:53 AM
2

Yeah, many people around the world practice religion in a healthy, fulfilling, self-actualizing way, including Christianity. I am talking about the kinds of fundamentalists who sort of culturally develop certain dogmas that trap people with feelings of guilt, shame, self-loathing, codependency, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 10:23 PM
4

There is a difference imo between this and enjoying some responsibility occasionally being lifted off of you as a favor, which I think most men would enjoy as well. Acts of service is considered a love language, a lot of people appreciate it. It should be reciprocal though, not necessarily in the same way, but in whichever way your partner enjoys. What we're talking about is red pill women subreddit, where they talk about being submissive, letting the men lead, being agreeable, etc. It's not jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:41 PM
4

If you view "capitalizing" as having an infantilized irresponsible partner, you do you. I would not feel like hitting the jackpot there personally, but consenting adults can do what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:21 PM
6

As indicated by the phrase "in my opinion" and the fact that I was the one who said it, yeah, it's my opinion. But you don't seem to want to argue the point, tkd uživaj brt, lep dan
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:52 PM
1

Oh cool
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:49 PM
11

Yes, but that choice cannot be reversed as a non-virgin woman with kids over 30 is worthless to men or whatever, so she's stuck with him now. So while they will blame her, there is no meaningful way in which she can take responsibility for her destiny and work on bettering her situation, she's fundamentally not in the driver's seat. All she can do is exercise power through her "captain" and double down on being supportive and trusting, which I don't believe is proper full ownership of your part …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:48 PM
1

It's not a fantasy, some of us date irl
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:41 PM
9

Do you think it's okay to infantilize them just because they seem to want it? Imo it's bad for them & society.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:39 PM
1

I don't think women tend to want a weak partner, but what is perceived as weakness is very individual imo. You may see it as weak to share hesitation or insecurity. I see it as weak to hide insecurity, posture arrogantly in front of others, get angry and defensive to avoid the subject of your insecurity. It's weak to be unwilling to admit when you're wrong, or irrational, or need help. These things give me a huge ick. I see it as strength to allow yourself to be vulnerable about something really…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:32 PM
1

Get educated on healthy communication and emotional resiliency and you'll be better able to recognize small signs of it in others. But ultimately, you may have relationships that do fall apart there bc you need to get to know the person and you can't figure out all their flaws ahead of time. Asking about how they approach conflict-resolution during early dating might give you a glimpse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:12 PM
5

I doubt we have many RPW here, as they'd see being this argumentative as super-unfeminine lol, so I find it hard to speculate why they do it. If I were to guess, I think there's something attractive for women for traditionalistic-adjecent ideologies, as they take a lot of responsibility off your shoulders. The man leads, he makes decisions, you aren't responsible for it. The man provides, if your family is financially struggling it's on him. Your nature is emotional, uncontrolled, impulsive, whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 11:56 AM
1

They feel sorry for single parents bc people don't usually want to end up in those situations, so they're trying to comfort them with lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:46 PM
–

Have you seen me condoning people who ghost people or something? I don't understand where this comparison is coming from. There's an even bigger asshole than any asshole I can point out, doesn't mean they're not an ass too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 04:08 PM
–

I don't choose to focus on anything, it is your post, you chose the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 03:12 PM
1

We know that nice guys aren't truly nice because they stop being nice when you don't act how they want you to act. Usually after a romantic or sexual rejection, but sometimes even over smaller demands. I had a nice guy flip on me bc I wouldn't stream myself playing a game to him lol. It has nothing to do with whatever you said about us thinking nice people don't desire sex. Nice people can absolutely desire sex. They just don't flip out when they don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 02:46 PM
1

We're very different, but we're more similar than we are different. It all depends on your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 04:46 PM
6

Oh, happy cake day btw! Yeah, it's awful. I'm hyperaware of this bc I cry really easily when I get emotional and men are so sensitive to that that I have to keep caveating "It's ok, you don't have to take care of me, this is just a physiological reaction, I'm being insecure, we were talking about you, please continue" bc I can see them either getting worried or angry bc of past experiences with women getting emotional. And I mean, I have women in my life too lol, maybe not romantically, but they…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:31 PM
5

In what way does being different gender preclude you from either depth or history?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:16 PM
9

Yes, I agree with this. So many men go through abusive manipulative relationships and come out at the other end with no support other than by misogynistic assholes who're like "yeah bro, they're all like that" or whatever. So many men who're CURRENTLY being abused are told to put up with it because you can't expect more from a woman. Y'all. You can. You don't have to be yelled at, blackmailed, gaslit, hit, verbally attacked over perceived slights, insecurity and jealousy, you don't have to be ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 06:49 PM
0

For how long? You can only say to someone to punch the wall to a degree until he realize punching the wall is kinda dumb. Anger is a secondary emotion. It serves a survival purpose. If you're afraid, you get angry because you may need to fight what you're afraid of. If you're hurt, you get angry to punish whoever has wronged you so people's don't learn to take advantage of you. Punching something inanimate can be a good way to let off steam in the moment if you're experiencing overwhelming anger…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 12:36 AM
1

Yeah, that's what I mean. You have trauma from previous rejections, so the singular rejection you're experiencing in the moment of getting upset does not feel like just one rejection, it feels like a representative of the court of womanly opinions is casting judgment upon you. In reality, it's just that one woman rejecting you for whatever reasons she personally has. But it feels like the entire gender finds you disgusting bc that's you're afraid of and then the rejection feels like yet another …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:27 PM
9

First of all, you can experience painful things and not shut down. If you emotionally process the disappointment, shame, anger, etc. that come with rejection rather than repressing them and distracting yourself, you can ensure you'll be able to get invested again. Second of all, if rejections are so unbearably painful that you can't possibly deal with them without experiencing trauma, repression, etc, you're probably not experiencing normal healthy attachment. Maybe there's some limerence/BPD go…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 10:55 PM
13

It's ok to divorce for any reason. I'm not as much of a fan of threatening divorce unless a partner complies with your demands though. I'm not a 100% convinced it's always bad, but imo it introduces an element of explicit transactionality into the relationship which can become really problematic really fast. If you just stating that you have unmet needs and are hurting is not enough for your partner to care enough to work on the issue, pushing into explicit power play blackmail territory will no…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 10:41 PM
2

I wish I could say Kindness was first, but a kind man who is unintelligent would make me dry af Big same. They're boring, they just have so much less intellectually stimulating content to bring to the table. I don't feel like they can see me and validate me because they don't understand my thought process, so while we can relate on a lot of stuff, there will always be this big aspect of me that they can't grasp intuitively and that requires a lot of exhausting communication and it makes me feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 09:37 PM
1

intelligence > kindness > confidence
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 09:24 PM
28

Men don't suck and women want to be with them obviously, but also being pretty and youthful isn't just about men. Pretty privilege is real and it affects your career, compensation, social life, for both men and women. Age discrimination is also very real.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 09:20 PM
–

The cycle-related attraction to different traits has been disproven upon further investigation. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1754073914523073
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:39 AM
1

Almost never.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:36 AM
1

Almost never.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:35 AM
2

Dates 19 year olds Laments how women are like children
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:31 AM
2

Hopefully it's not the same people saying both things. Imo it's hypocritical to have different standards for your partner, whatever those standards are. If you wanna have a pass for favorite celeb if that situation comes up, you better talk about it and allow them a similar exception. If you don't want them to do it, you don't get to do it either. Everyone gets to have friends of both sexes. I don't even care if you both prefer not to, that shit's unhealthy, get over it. Obviously nobody gets to…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 02:25 AM
4

I don't think most people would defend labelling all/most men as rapists and sexual offenders.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 05:27 PM
1

I sometimes like worn sweaters bc they smell like the person. Tbh the smell is the main motivation for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 02:49 AM
40

Why do you lock your door? Burglaries aren't that common and you're insulting all of the honest people who'd never do such a thing. Also, if you think your local crime stats are an accurate representation of prevalence of rape in the general population, Idk, spend some time thinking about the subject before commenting on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 02:33 AM
1

Now, about the exclusivity. It seems to be the case (and I'd assume most of you would agree with me) that in the past (50-100 years ago) the exclusivity from the point you start dating someone was the default state of every relationship (unless specificied otherwise explicitly), and was on the obvious part of the spectrum, where you wouldn't mention it explicitly (just like how you wouldn't mention that you don't want to date a murderer). This is actually not true for the time frame you mention,…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:27 AM
3

I have no idea tbh, I think it must be some sort of kink. Either they like making women uncomfortable, or maybe a lot of women react by making fun of them bc they're angry which might be what gets them off, or something like that Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 11:41 PM
1

Imo it's not leading them on if you still haven't decided whether you like them
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 11:22 PM
1

I think preferences are changeable/discoverable, but it's not a conscious choice to lower your standards. That would imply dating people you're not attracted to, not learning to find less conventionally attractive people attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 03:04 PM
2

I have a lot of guy friends. Some of them might be into me, some of them were at one point but no longer are, some I think never were and never will be. I don't see all men as potential partners, but I'm aware a lot of men see it that way, so if I catch any whiff of that I mention my bf in the conversation or something. It would be harder if I was single I suppose. I don't want to come off as ambiguous and lead people on, but a lot of guys mistake friendly enthusiasm because they're good company…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 02:56 PM
2

Not sure this is ok towards his partner or family members if not blurred, as you are the one sending an unsolicited nude then. Even though those who send them absolutely deserve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 02:45 PM
5

What? I never got them from people I know, only strangers (goes into spam inbox automatically nowadays, but yeah)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 02:29 PM
2

I don't do OLD or post much on social media other than FB memes and this type of shit on reddit, so no. Idk what it would be like if I did, but I find it hard to imagine that it would have that much of an impact. I am not with my bf bc he is the best hottest person ever by all metrics, but because we got to know each other, built up trust, are willing to work with each other's flaws and grow together, we enjoy each other's company and don't get bored of each other, we both find each other attrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:50 PM
1

All of these are hypocritical. And it's ok to have hypocritical preferences sometimes, it just matters that you and your partner have compatible preferences and that you don't shame people who don't fit your standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:39 PM
1

For me personally, the biggest reason is fear of unintended pregnancy, as I don't want to have an abortion personally. The second biggest is the whole sex-negative culture, including slut-shaming. It's not explicitly that I worry about someone shaming me directly, it's that I've internalized some of those beliefs and behavior patterns. I act more passive than men even when I want sex, I feel embarrassed about expressing desire, I feel weird about my kinks, I worry whether somebody who'd want cas…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:36 PM
1

I think it depends on who has the more thight-knit friend group and maintains their contacts more. If you both do so, then you're likely to mostly stick to your own friend group and occasionally visit your partners'. If one party doesn't see their friends that much, they're more likely to tag along when the other party goes to see theirs. In my experience, it's more common that men, even when they have really close friends, don't keep in touch as much / as regularly, so they end up around their …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:13 PM
1

To me, it depends on what you find funny about the joke. If we're being over the top sexist bc we know each other and we know none of us are sexist, so we're kind of making fun of people who are, then those jokes are OK. Dark humor is okay if you can reasonably expect people will be receptive to it. Don't roll out your best rape jokes in a room full of strangers whose history with sexual violence and attitude towards it you don't know. But with close friends where you've built rapport over time …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 11:05 PM
6

I guess if you rate lesbians by men's standards for attractiveness (aka femininity being desirable), then butch lesbians dating femme lesbians would be dating way up looks-wise, yeah. But I don't think they see it that way, Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 07:06 PM
2

I think raised in church implies you were taught a whole ideology with prescriptions on how women SHOULD behave, giving you an excuse to hate the women who don't. Religious men are usually the ones hating on women for being promiscuous, dressed provocatively, loud, having tattoos, being too forward, crude, bossy, not wanting children, being career-oriented, having piercings, having colored hair, etc. Idk, they have been sold this ideal of a woman who's attractive, chaste, modest, skilled with ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:53 PM
2

For misandrist women I've met: being made to do household chores while their male siblings, cousins, etc. chilled, often by their moms actually who excused this behavior being abused / cheated on in a relationship being taught misandrist things about men, such as that they can't help themselves, that they're sexually violent, aggressive, that they need to watch out for them, not being allowed sleepovers, being given shorter curfews than their brothers, in general just a heavy implication that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:36 PM
4

What do you mean in the man role
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:11 PM
3

I don't think the goal of couple's therapy is to make you fuck. It's for both of you to figure out what you really want and communicate it to each other in a healthy way. And then you can decide what to do about that. If one person truly no longer has attraction towards you in particular or sex drive in general, and you need that in your relationship for a fulfilling life, then it's probably time to part ways, couple's therapy would be more about coming to terms with that. But if the other perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:33 PM
1

Hahahaha sorry, Idk why I did that Probably the worst time getting casual sex. Probably an easier time getting relationships than gay guys, and about the same as lesbians on average I'd think. Attractive straight guys have a much easier time than attractive lesbians, but unattractive straight guys probably have it harder than unattractive lesbians.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 08:04 PM
4

Sex: gay guys > straight women, lesbians Who has it easier for sex between straight women and lesbians depends on where you live. In a huge city with a big gay population, lesbians would have it easier bc they don't have to worry about pregnancy when choosing who to date. But in a smaller city, straight women would have it easier because of a much bigger dating pool. LTR: straight women > lesbians > gay guys
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 08:34 AM
1

I want to say I'd probably stay single, but Idk if that's true. It's what I'd like to believe. I wouldn't be with someone I'm not attracted to, I don't think that's fair to them tbh. And I've never been in a relationship I didn't think could work out long-term. But I'm not sure that wouldn't change if I knew for sure that none of them could, maybe I'd rather have short-term casual flings than nothing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 11:01 PM
2

How does it account for kin selection, cooperative breeding and social selection? It doesn't, because I didn't posit it as the sole exclusive factor explaining all human behavior. I was trying to explain why the data of men preferring youth more than women would make sense imo. How both male and female mating preference may be heritable? Maybe some of these preferences are modulated by whether they're beneficial in the other sex, so we share a lot of our preferences. But our brains clearly adapt…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:38 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 10:43 AM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 08:07 AM
1

Hmmm I can only think of 2 men who had/have women pining for them continually. And both of them are kind of a mess other than being undeniably physically attractive, one is an addict and the other one is okay now, but he was homeless at one point couch surfing from woman to woman who'd take him in lol. But, like, I can only think of those two in my entire life, and I'm quite social, though maybe too much with nerdy types for these purposes lol. Most men I know or am friends with have an okay tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 12:42 AM
4

I hang out on reddit mostly, I used to be a bit more on Facebook until recently exclusively sharing memes, Idk why I got bored of it. But tbh I spend way more of my internet social time dming my boyfriend and friends directly and in group chats rather than discussing things with random strangers online. Maybe women spend more time communicating with their real life friends? That being said, as others have pointed out, you've missed platforms like Tumblr, TikTok, Pinterest, wattpad, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 12:14 AM
1

Most men aren't gonna easily obtain sex even if they're attractive, but yeah, it's a huge factor. I'd say for easy sex, these are the most important: Looks Social skills (it's ok to be endearingly awkward or anxious, not to be completely inept), including a wide social circle to meet new people Non-judgmental attitude so women don't feel like they're easy for sleeping with you Take any of these three away and you'll have a lot of trouble. If you have all three highly honed, you may have other pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 11:41 PM
1

Older for sure, 5 years younger seem like kids. I've met some incredibly hot younger men objectively physically speaking, but I can't get over the feeling while talking to them that they're so childlike. I think this will probably change as I age tbh as a lot of maturation happens in your 20s as you learn to be independent and navigate relationships and commitments.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:12 PM
3

No, but this is just who they rate as most attractive, not as attractive at all. I bet it peaks around there, but then slowly declines aka late 20s early 30s are probably still pretty attractive, just not "the most".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:05 PM
1

I'd guess probably 10% of women are very promiscuous, and often these aren't straight women. Probably another 10% are what I'd describe as "unintentionally promiscuous" in that they don't want sex only, they want commitment, but they fail to get or sustain it. They have a bad dating history, either they pick bad partners, they are bad partners, or they get scared away by good partners bc they are afraid of actually committing. And about 15% cheat. And those aren't all the promiscuous ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:47 PM
1

I think what they're trying to get across is that they're being blamed for something that's outside of their control. We say smth like, "If only you were nice, listened attentively, communicated assertively, improved your social skills, widened your social circle, kept yourself in shape and groomed, etc. you'd get a woman to like you." And they don't think that'd be enough. They don't think any effort they put in is going to outweigh being short, mentally ill, not having a masculine jaw or brow …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:30 PM
3

I haven't met many like this, but here's what I can think of. Very good looking & taking care of appearance. Not only were they naturally attractive, they were putting in effort to be groomed, smell nice, often had ridiculously nice hair and skin. They are all pretty extroverted. Very impulsive. Parties, addictions, promiscuity, unhealthy lifestyle but maintaining appearance. Often quite self-deprecating? This surprises me as I remember, but most of them cracked jokes at their own account and of…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:19 PM
2

Let's say you have 4 people and they all list their two favorite fruits: A: kiwi, apples B: apples, banana C: orange, kiwi D: apples, peaches If you serve apples and kiwi, all of them are gonna like your offering. But they all have a unique combination of tastes. When we say women are unique, we aren't saying you can't average us out and derive some conclusions that apply to a lot of us. Most women like men 0-2 years older, taller than them, of a similar education and income level, same race, sy…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:07 PM
7

I find that graph a bit dubious because of random spikes of some ages of men preferring older women. With a large enough sample size, I doubt there would be so much noise like that. That being said, this trend on the whole makes sense. For male reproductive success, the most important thing is health and fertility of his partner = youth. For female reproductive success, she needs somebody who's going to be a companion and a coparent to her well, and that's likely a person around her own age who …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 05:54 PM
6

It's a gen Z/alpha trend, they collect them and bring them around everywhere, match them with outfits, buy rare ones, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 11:30 PM
1

You can go volunteer, all volunteer spaces are overwhelmingly women-dominated, so you'd probably be popular. You can sign up for some hobby classes that are women-dominated or mixed gender where there are opportunities for interaction. You can also go to hobby clubs, like board game clubs and similar, where you can meet people. There are conferences and conventions both professional and hobby-related where people often cold approach others for networking, so you have a context where it's very ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:42 PM
–

I did this twice. Both times, I've broken up and the guys begged me to get back together later that day or the day after. I loved both of them and everything was too fresh and it was too hard to say no. Emotionally, I wanted it to work out with them, but rationally I knew it wouldn't and that we'd just accumulate resentment and end it on worse terms. So it was hard to keep insisting on staying broken up and insisting to put both of us through heartache then and there when they were tempting me w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:08 PM
1

The "taller than me in heels" standard of tall? Sure, I've met a lot of women admitting to that and even more acting it out. But that means most are willing to date guys who're the same percentile of height for their gender as they are for theirs. I would say comfortably that 85% of women if not more have this preference from my anecdotal experience. The above 6'+ tall standard I haven't seen, other than one chick who's almost that tall herself. Worth noting that I'm not from the West, so mb dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:42 PM
2

Do you not believe me?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 07:30 AM
9

I have a friend who I didn't clock at all for a few years until he told me he had autism. Apparently, he used to be a disaster, but went to a therapist who intensely trained him for a full year without even telling him he has autism. Showed him faces, taught him to recognize expressions, etc. It's possible. Now, whether it's cruel to make people do all of that work and mask all of the time etc. is another question that our society is absolutely not ready for. Baby steps I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:23 PM
4

To women: What do you think of your boyfriend or husband masturbating to pics of your friends, sisters, or other women he knows irl? What do you think of your friend’s or sister’s partner masturbating to your pics? I don't care as long as nobody makes it my business unconsensually or actual cheating happens. I think it can be dangerous in the sense that reinforcing such fantasies could push you to want more. But I think a man I'm with is an adult and capable of judging for himself what he can ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:01 PM
0

I don't
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 05:12 PM
3

I don't know much about this, but I would assume matrilineal but not matriarchal. I think mother's paternity certainty resulted in mom and her side of family investing more into offspring, so the father would have to be where they're at if he wanted to stick around. I doubt there was enough war to force patrilineality, though I might be wrong on that front. But I think they had heavily interdependent gift economies based on food uncertainty, they were hunter-gatherers, there simply wasn't much t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:57 AM
3

I think that is true, bluepillers tend to be privileged. I do think to an extent we might be tone-deaf to the problem you're actually facing and most of us might not give appropriate advice. But I also don't think that means listening to other redpillers is the solution. If more of us grew up in supportive households, have money, had money and time to go to therapy if we've had some trauma, had decent socialization, not crippling mental illness, have a strong community, SOs, friends... While we …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 09:40 PM
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Women don't chase because they don't need to and it can be a grueling process. Would you suffer rejection if you didn't have to? I mean, we still do it sometimes, some of us, but pursuing as actively as men and risking ruining something that could've worked with normal gender dynamics when it's literally not needed to get what you want is hard to get yourself to do. Women also don't chase because their sexuality is policed heavily. They aren't supposed to be into every guy that passes on the str…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 09:27 PM
1

I've been in a relationship for 1.5 years and we never run out of topics Idk. Yesterday we talked for 8h straight with only one food break lol. I don't even know about what. Random things that happened to us this week, treatability of borderline personality disorder, how it would be to move to a different country, what are the main pros and cons of our country, local politics and random funny situations from it, some random badass Russian refugee who works at a local indie gaming company who was…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:06 AM
1

That's cool, but you're willing to risk causing a person you love huge trauma and serious trust issues down the line. They may find out, they may not. But there's going to be huge consequences if they find out and not just for you, but for them as well, and they don't deserve it. I'm not necessarily saying to divorce over a dead bedroom immediately, but it's incredibly passive and conflict-avoidant to go behind their back. It's cowardly. Tell them how you feel, tell them you want to work on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:32 AM
2

I think she just phrased it awkwardly. What she was trying to say, if I understood correctly, is that friends can have bad traits that we can ignore because we're not with them all the time at home. Those same bad traits may drive us crazy in a partner who we're forced to face on a daily basis. That doesn't mean you can't have any bad traits or that she can't ignore any flaws. It just means that if it's one of the flaws that's really triggering for her, it might be ok in someone she's not with e…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:23 AM
1

2/3 of my boyfriends were friends for a decent while before hooking up, and the third one was a friend of a friend I saw every once in a while on social gatherings. Beyond that, I've had crushes on countless friends from elementary school and well into adulthood. It's super-common. A lot of my friends have ended up with friends. Sometimes long-term friends of many years. The problem is that there's that one guy who's always a friend and gets rejected by dozens of women he's friends with, so he f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:15 AM
17

You've built up trust & the relationship before someone started earning more. Nobody had to lower their living standards to accommodate the other. You sort of rose up together and are both better than you were before, rather than one party feeling like their hands are tied and they can't afford the same luxuries anymore because of having to either pay for the other person or leave them out, which would be kind of cruel to your partner. Also, you had time to see that the person loves you for who …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:03 AM
6

Do you think it's more common when you meet before having jobs? Or if you have similar income when you start dating, but then one progresses more over time?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:25 PM
8

I have negative experience with it too, but I try not to generalize. Maybe tell them to be careful and look for red flags regarding how the man views the situation, but I don't think it's ok to paint all men with such a broad brush. But I understand wanting to avoid more such experiences when you go through it once...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:22 PM
1

The situation you're describing specifically sounds more like someone being intimidated by sex than not desiring it, though who knows. But in general, yes. People on the autism spectrum are asexual way more often than neurotypical people. Autism causes different processing of sensory stimuli and things may feel different, overstimulation is very easy. It also correlates with alexithymia, which is lack of awareness of one's own emotional states, that could lead to failing to notice things that wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:29 PM
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I think men are much more intimidated by their partner outshining them and being desired than vice-versa. But it can happen in both directions for sure. I don't think it's something generalizable to the extent you're describing. That being said, everyone wants to feel like they have options and aren't just stuck with their partner. I think that is normal and healthy. Not actively looking for and fostering those options, that is cheating, but feeling like you're a catch and if things turn sour in…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:21 PM
1

I actively dislike chivalry. I don't mind someone holding the door for me, I also hold it for others, but when somebody is making a situation way more inconvenient for the sake of following some arbitrary gendered rule it drives me nuts. If you can do it nonchalantly and on the way, it can be cool and charming, but if you have to yell at me to stop at the car door, go all the way around, open it, and then go all the way around to your door, you're just creating a scene for theatrics. Also, I hat…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:10 PM
2

This has even been studied a bit, Google studies of incels. There's a higher than average prevalence of formally diagnosed depression, anxiety, and autism at least, if I'm not mistaken. We don't have data on undiagnosed ones, but some researchers plan to look into that in the future as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:49 PM
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I don't think it's controlling or insecure if the person either didn't do that stuff before or you were under the impression they were going to stop once you got together, they start that behavior, and then you leave because you realize you clearly don't have the same values. I don't even think it's controlling to talk about it once and see how they take it, are they willing to compromise. Maybe it's not very important to them and they are willing to be more like what you want, they just weren't…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 10:28 PM
23

Low birth rates are most significantly caused by female empowerment, which Japan is extremely high on... Half of their women are unemployed??
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 10:45 AM
1

What do you mean? I literally said "we don't face rejection in the same way", implying in the same way as men, implying that's exactly what happens to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 07:38 PM
6

Depends on a lot of factors. Not wanting to date someone with a promiscuous sexual past because you're personally more reserved is ok, it's morally neutral. Maybe you want somebody who shares a similar view of sex and sexuality. On the other hand, saying having a lower number of partners is objectively better, women who're promiscuous are [insert slur of choice], people who date promiscuous women will be cheated on or have their family fall apart or are cucks, etc. etc. is not ok. Spreading ideo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 04:38 PM
1

I'm a bit weird bc I have aphantasia, so I usually imagine nobody in particular, just sensations / dialogue. But when I do bother to imagine a particular person, it's usually my partner if I have one, a random crush or a fictional character sometimes. It is rarely switched up and I often return to the same ones later. Google sex differences in sexual variety.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 08:57 AM
1

Therapy is known to serve men less, unfortunately. Most mental health research is done on women and it works better on us. But men still need help and we should be researching more for approaches that work better with you guys. I think beauty is both subjective and objective. There's an objective standard of conventional beauty that most people subscribe to to a pretty great extent or at least hardly anyone will find it repulsive. And then there are subjective weird preferences some people have,…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:31 PM
7

What do you mean suspicious? You mean that they're gold digging? Whenever there's a power imbalance of any kind, the party who has the power should at least wonder about whether that's what the other is after. That's why we don't allow sex between bosses and those who report to them usually, bc the boss can never be sure that the other person isn't feeling pressured or wanting some benefit out of it. So, I mean, I think both genders should think about this whenever they enter relationships with …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:39 PM
1

Withholding intimacy can be an emotional abuse tactic. If it's done as a way of punishing your partner whenever they do something you dislike and you refuse to communicate and resolve the issue, but just assert that you're right and withhold intimacy until they relent, that's abusive. More commonly, it just happens as a byproduct of dissatisfaction in the relationship, poor communication, external factors, or incompatibility when it comes to needs and preferences. But it can be used as an abuse …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:26 PM
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In a world where OnlyFans is unironically argued as being a form of female empowerment, I think we've got the "don't slutshame women" tack fairly well covered. You have literally managed to slutshame women while saying that lol, but ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:13 PM
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Do you have any tips I could share with them by any chance? Bc they asked me for advice, but I honestly have no idea from male perspective lol. Other than escalating slowly like leaning in for a kiss and then pausing to see the reaction before actually kissing etc. I had no advice rly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:48 PM
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Yeah. I have friends who're really nice guys and care a lot about consent and stuff like that and they get anxious about escalating things with women because they don't want to make them uncomfortable. But we still have this expectation that a man should be the one to pursue, to escalate sexually, that a woman should be a bit more demure and play hard to get. So it makes it really hard for them to gauge when it's appropriate to do things and they probably end up pursuing less women then they oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:28 PM
2

I don't see what I said as downplaying the importance of it. The question was why do women on average handle it better (if they do). I gave my perspective on why. Doesn't mean all those things are a replacement for a romantic partner, but if you're missing a romantic partner AND you don't have as many close friendships, community, physical touch, and emotional intimacy, you're gonna be worse off than if you just don't have a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:01 PM
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There is a sampling bias that leads to women often seeing men as less nice than they are. In my city, there is a guy who tried to either groom (starting at 12yo) or flirt with if he met her later almost every woman who's into any alternative communities (gaming, anime, goth, punk, etc). Literally it's ridiculous, I'll meet a woman I've never seen in my life no social circles in common, he has tried to hook up with her too. He's had gfs, one notable one, he has cheated on them every time, at leas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:54 PM
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I think it's because we don't face rejection in the same way. I think if I had to keep approaching guys, putting myself out there, and getting rejected, I'd quickly get discouraged and start thinking I'm not good enough for the guys I want. Even if that's not true, it's hard not to let it get to you and impact your self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:24 PM
2

Promising things too easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:19 PM
2

Another thing, a lot of guys caught on that you're looking at how they treat service workers to gauge their personality and are now overly nice to them. Also look at those they see as socially under them, maybe a guy in their friend group who's a bit slower or less confrontational. If they sort of jokingly bully them all the time and it kiiiind of doesn't cross a line, but just barely, if it seems like it bothers the targeted guy but he'd seem lame if he complained, it can be a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:19 PM
3

Yes, yes, that's what I mean, the reward is perceived as more than the risk when we do. So, men and women both want sex. Risks for men to have casual sex are lower, so they want lots of it and aren't so picky. Risks for women are high, so they'll only have it when the reward is also really high aka really hot men. Or when the risks are lowered (if you manage to make her feel really safe). Or sometimes it their impulse control is lowered, either alcohol, drugs, or I've seen mentally ill women dur…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 10:25 AM
5

Most people have 4-8 sexual partners in their lifetime. It's normal to have have 2-3 serious relationship before settling down, so that leaves 1-5 more casual sexual partners in one's lifetime. I would not describe that as "a lot".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 09:20 AM
1

If that's where you're at rn, do what you gotta do. I hope things work out eventually!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:10 PM
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Women don't have a higher number of sexual partners than men do in practice. There's a bit of a distribution where men are slightly more likely to be at either extreme (0 or a lot of sexual partners) and women are more likely to be near the average number, but it's slight, most people of both genders have about the same number of partners. The difference is that women are actually way more hesitant to do it. There are many reasons for this: women have to worry about personal safety more when eng…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 07:31 PM
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Yeah, I don't think there's an alternative to just letting yourself feel it. Maybe journaling about it can help a bit with avoiding spiraling and stuff that can happen when you don't externalize thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 05:48 PM
1

I don't see how that addresses my points.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 04:10 PM
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Well, unless you want to claim that there's something about having a penis that makes you inherently worse at those things, there was a social gendered factor that influenced them to be less interested. Maybe the education is not tailored to male needs sufficiently, maybe they're not encouraged sufficiently, maybe they have gendered problems entirely unrelated to education that are taking up their mental bandwidth. That's not to say you have to agree with specific prescriptions to remedy these t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 03:38 PM
1

Yeah, I imagine that can feel really lonely. I had/have? some health issues that made me feel a bit like that, my friends empathized because they cared about me, but they didn't have an intuitive sense of what it was like to live with that every day. Pretty much nobody did except my mom because she was with me from diagnosis onwards. I'm kinda better now, had surgery that fixed most of that. But yeah, it's hard when nobody gets it, but like truly gets it. I found some online communities back the…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:25 PM
2

Where did you get that impression of therapy? In my experience, therapists aren't as prone to do those placating conflict-avoidant statements and will talk to you more openly. They also don't tend to derive conclusions for you so they wouldn't accidentally gaslight you, they spend more time asking you questions so you would examine your own views, not their views and opinions. They have to treat patients of all sorts of different cultures, religions, politics, backgrounds, etc, they wouldn't get…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:10 PM
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I am not sure about the lower sex drive thing. I know there is some contention on that subject among evopsych crowd if I'm not mistaken. We thought testosterone increased sex drive, but that turned out to be false, having sex seems to increase testosterone, not the other way around. Not sure, just something I remember from a random lecture. And I definitely know women with higher sex drives from personal life, as in higher than their partners. There are even comedy sketches with men being unable…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:01 PM
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Could it partially be makeup? Makeup and fashion is a common interest that women may bond over, so maybe groups who're more into it form. We all prefer attractive faces in the sense that we like symmetry etc. But there's also a phenomenon called homogamy where we look for partners similar to us and in general homophily where we prefer people similar to us. Maybe it's not exactly attractiveness level, but more like looking for people with similar facial traits etc? You know how common that trope …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:20 PM
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Women have more close friends, maintain more of a sense of community in their lives, have more close relationships with family. So a lot of women's social needs are satisfied regardless of whether they have a partner. Women also are allowed to express their emotions openly to people. There are still some stigmas where you might be worried to appear neurotic / hysterical / too sensitive etc, but other than avoiding that specific pitfall in some situations, you are allowed to share and get emotion…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:08 PM
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Anger is a second order emotion. You're angry because you're hurt, because you're afraid for yourself or another and want to defend them, because you're insecure or jealous. Feeling your anger only often means you're repressing other emotions. And dealing with your anger by "controlling" it aka forcefully repressing the urge to act on it, is not actually dealing with your anger it's just stopping yourself from lashing out, dealing with it would be productively addressing the source of it. And me…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:02 AM
1

Ok, but you know what I'm asking and you're obfuscating it with semantics. What would it take for you to believe that the red pill should entail a different set of beliefs than the ones you currently believe it does, specifically those more in line with things you currently perceive as blue pill? There, I rephrased it in your terminology (I think).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:47 AM
1

If people had the common sense to understand that the Truth is not subjective or relative they couldn't even ask a question like this. I don't think truth is subjective. I just think we could all be wrong about the truth because we made an error in perception, error in data gathering, error in deriving conclusions from said data, etc. I think it's important for our beliefs to be falsifiable by evidence to the contrary. If you can't even imagine a hypothetical world where you're wrong and think a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:41 AM
1

If people had the common sense to understand that the Truth is not subjective or relative they couldn't even ask a question like this. I don't think truth is subjective. I just think we could all be wrong about the truth because we made an error in perception, error in data gathering, error in deriving conclusions from said data, etc. I think it's important for our beliefs to be falsifiable by evidence to the contrary. If you can't even imagine a hypothetical world where you're wrong and think a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:41 AM
0

Are you in therapy by any chance? I can see how when you have a lot of experiences of rejection, more experiences like that can just be triggering and it just gets worse and worse over time. Maybe you can get really lucky and run into someone who'll challenge those believes by loving you as you are, but even then your low self-esteem might interfere with being able to form a healthy relationship with that person. I think having a therapist to guide you through unpacking this would definitely be …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:34 AM
2

I knew men and women who had their first relationship around your age, but also I know some who're much older and still struggling. Never thought much about the frustration of not finding friends who truly understand, beyond just not being able to find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:31 AM
0

What if your personal experiences changed? I understand you don't believe that that is possible, but just hypothetically, if the world around you suddenly seemed to be working according to blue pill rules for some reason, would that change your mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:07 AM
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Not even if you personally experience a lot of stuff to the contrary?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:02 AM
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Makes sense to me. Someone too inexperienced might not know what they're looking for, what they expect, what they need, they might want to take things slower than you do, they might be figuring stuff out for the first time, not everybody has patience for that, especially as you grow more experienced. There can also be a bit of a power dynamic with the more experienced person invoking their experience to support their arguments. On the other hand, as we get into higher numbers, it starts being a …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:56 PM
7

Oh wait, I might have misunderstood, it sounded like you were saying people should off themselves, but maybe you meant actual constructive step by step plans
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:51 PM
2

Have you had a relationship with this person? May I ask what happened, if it's not too intrusive, why are you not together? Simply bc I would view your experience differently depending on the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:35 PM
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To be perfectly honest, the only real feasible plan for most of them will involve bullet points, just not in the way you're talking about. This is unhinged
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:24 PM
5

If you want to view love that way, you're welcome to. I can see some ways in which that is true, as in, I could put myself in the mindset of seeing that as true. But for most people, that belief would induce a lot of guilt and shame when they stop feeling what they thought to be love for someone, whether it is because they got to know them better and realized something bad or incompatible about them, because they got mistreated by the person, the person died or moved away or something and is fad…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:17 PM
1

You're obviously trying to convey something here. But what exactly? Men often have one of a few problems that could be summarized as dehumanizing women. Some men put women on a pedastal. They often have limerent obsessions about those women and feel like they're gonna solve all of their psychological problems. They idealize them and fantasize about a perfect future with them. They can't have a normal clam conversation with a woman or be friends with a woman, they're too prone to seeing them sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 08:51 PM
4

If you stop loving someone, it doesn't mean it wasn't true love. That's such a harmful view to spread.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 08:38 PM
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This does not address the point I made though. If 30% of women, for example, had an incredibly low sex drive after a long time in the relationship, but the rest were fine-ish, you would still be able to say that desire was negatively predicted. We need the variance to see if this is generalizeable to all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:57 PM
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Women's sexual drive in LTR goes down over time. Even when controlling for kids, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction. This is not what the study you cite says. It says that women on average have a lower sex drive the longer the relationship is. That might mean that all women experience a decline in sex drive, as you say. Or it may mean that only 30% of women experience it, for example, and they bring down the average. I'm too lazy to dig through the study in detail to see whether …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 07:14 PM
7

No, they can get a woman who doesn't need them but does want them, but they can't control her to the same extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:52 PM
3

Would you be ready to physically force fathers who don't want to to give a DNA sample?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:11 AM
1

We actually don't know until you tell us. Every woman has a first conversation about common male experiences of emotional abuse and the like. And even then, it can be hard to imagine the extent until you get some life experience, see how those things generally affect people, talk to several different men and notice the patterns in their experiences, etc. And no matter how many of us you have explained, there will always be new young women who don't understand. Because they haven't been through i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:22 AM
6

I would see taking someone's hat and going to dance with it as super-flirtatious, is that just me? I guess it's a bit awkward to retrieve the hat if you're not interested, but Idk, I'd definitely find it within the range of acceptable cheeky party behavior. It is kind of disrespectful if you're not interested in the guy and are doing it just to assert dominance though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:14 AM
1

Sure, maybe it would've helped! It's not that unclear, I think there's just a lot of divisive rhetoric on this sub so people tend to assume things, so you have to caveat a bit more (and you fail anyway, but ah well).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 11:27 AM
1

It sounds like you're right, spreading that is misinformation. I want to caution against jumping to conclusions though. Clitoral stimulation can happen during penetrative sex even if you don't do it manually, depending on the position if you're grinding against the guy, especially with fat guys. Also, the fact that most women can says nothing about how easy it is for them or how commonly it happens. I didn't read the studies, but if the just asked if they can, if they ever had, or if they had in…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 11:07 AM
1

In my experience, length isn't much of a factor, unless you literally meet a clinical definition of a micropenis. It can feel a bit different depending on the girth though, though I've never met a woman who's complained about it. But it does feel slightly better when it's thicker ngl, for me at least. Also, how dick is bent if it is cuz some have an upward curve when erect can make it feel different in various positions. But that's more of a variation than smth that's better or worse, as in, som…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:45 PM
1

OP asked whether it's justified, not whether it's possible. I understand that people can and do whatever they want and I can't stop them. And accelarationism logic makes sense from your POV I suppose. I just don't agree that that makes it moral. And it sounds like you don't either, you would just make the immoral decision either to save your own skin or to help destroy the system that incentivizes the immorality. There are no consequences for being a piece of shit, thereby I act like a piece of …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 03:54 PM
1

If we didn't have laws against it, would it be ok to kill people who didn't attack you? My point is, you can't say the system we live in is unjust, so I'll treat all individuals like shit regardless of their own innocence. If the question was is it OK to cheat on cheaters or hook up with gf of guy who hooked up with your gf before or something like that, that'd be different. But saying dating is unfair, therefore I get to do whatever I want to whoever I want makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 03:19 PM
2

Men are so ridiculously lonely they'll fall in love if you listen to them attentively enough for a bit. It's sad. Men in relationships with me are continuously surprised that we never have screaming matches trying to hurt each other when we have an argument. You don't even need a great personality to impress a lot of guys, just what I see as basic human decency.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 12:09 PM
1

Hasan Piker is the same genre of ideological brainrot, just in the opposite political direction. Check out Contrapoints for sure, someone already recommended her and she's so on point about some of these finer psychological points of what draws us to various ideologies. Content is mostly philosophical, but with a flair for the dramatic. Also, check out Mickey Atkins. You may have a visceral negative reaction given your disposition towards women and woke stuff, she's fat and proud and speaks in a…
/r/ExRedPill13/02/24 11:15 AM
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Google transvestigations, it's the best conspiracy theory to grace the internet
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:53 AM
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Go to a doctor, ideally a psychiatrist, maybe endocrinologist or gynecologist. Asexuality is a perfectly normal variant of human sexuality, but there are many health issues that could cause lack of sex drives that don't mean you're asexual. You should go to someone who's able to make a differential diagnosis. One hint that you might not asexual is that you feel cringe / disgust about pda and such. Usually people who have no sex drive feel neutral towards others displaying theirs, but if it makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:45 AM
2

Would it be fair for communists who believe that capitalism is unfair to go around murdering and robbing people?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:37 AM
9

There is an ongoing rhetoric online I'll stop you right there
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:34 AM
9

I don't think there are universals that will apply to every woman. Every rule will have an exception, at least in the form of a weird fetish. We can talk about things that are good generalizations in the sense that they apply to most, like hygiene, symmetry, masculine sexually dimorphic characteristics, good social skills, etc. But there will always be someone on Earth who'll disagree on anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 11:23 PM
1

I've only dated shorter men (as in, shorter than me, without heels). I like both taller and shorter, it doesn't affect my attraction at all. That being said, I'm the average height for a man in my country, so most men are around my height whether a bit taller or shorter. So it's kind of normal to me for men around me to be shorter. If I was really short and most were taller, maybe the short ones would stand out as the odd ones out? Idk. I don't know what makes me not have this super-common prefe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 11:19 PM
3

Blindfolding is fun and it can help with a lot of teasing and foreplay. Temperature play is interesting and combines nicely with blindfolding. People use ice cubes and wax candles to produce hot/cold sensations, including on the nipples and in the genital area. You can intersperse it with pleasurable touch, teasing, pain. I think it's pretty harmless with wax and ice at least. When it comes to pain, nipple pinching is common. Some people use nipple clamps, but that can get dangerous for prolonge…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 12:45 AM
2

I'm into bdsm and like choking, but choking specifically is very dangerous, it's risky even when you do it right. Different bdsm acts have different risk levels and should be researched thoroughly before engaging in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 07:32 PM
1

I don't think this is good advice. There's plenty of things you may not be into personally, but you're happy to do to make your partner happy and you're turned on by bringing them pleasure, after a while maybe it starts turning you on too because you associate it with positive sexual experiences. There's a line though, you shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable or weird or that you otherwise don't want to do. But if you feel kind of neutral about a certain sex act, but enthusiastic a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 07:29 PM
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I see it everywhere I go, attractive women date down to maintain the upper hand while mediocre women typically date up because men are desperate simps and will worship a literal hobgoblin. You can't win. Women date ugly guys? They're clearly just trying to be manipulative evil witches with the upper hand, abusing their power over this poor desperate guy. Couples are attractiveness matched? Women do this ruthless selection solely based on looks trying to find the best man they could ever score an…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:48 PM
3

That's because the only time you recognize there's been surgery is when it looks worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:42 PM
2

This is a very valid take tbh. The only male friends I would discuss my ongoing relationships with are the happily married ones I think, and even then only when they asked and briefly. Tbh I prefer not to discuss much, I think most things you should discuss with your SO first if there's trust in the relationship. Sometimes, there are things you need to run by others or process a bit with others, I might talk to my therapist, my mom, or my best friend, but that's about it. I think there's a probl…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:19 AM
1

From what I've seen, men don't really have their ex partners linger around like women do I have a male friend who literally still lives with his ex lol. Both of them were fucking others and dating around throughout it for a year now. I think they're finally moving away from each other. Also... For every woman who hangs out with her ex, there's one guy (said ex) who's hanging out with his ex. So, they do it exactly precisely as much as women do lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:09 AM
1

I don't like ambition. I even dislike it a bit, it very often stems from insecurity. Not always, but most people others would describe as ambitious tend to be workaholics trying to prove something. I do like healthy ambition, but it's so rare it's definitely not my dating requirement. What I want out of a partner's career: makes him happy & content, aka he's not feeling bad about himself and insecure about it his career doesn't have to be stable at all times, I'd support struggling for a good ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:57 PM
1

I truly don't associate anything, I'm the average height for a man in my country and I still regularly get wrong whether random men are taller or shorter than me lol, I'm dumb. I'm saying, if you're already EXTREMELY tall, it's unlikely that you should've genetically been even taller. You likely reached your genetic potential. The further you are from extremely tall, the more likely it is that childhood and adolescent malnutrition had an effect along with genetics. Again, not in the modern world…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 01:47 PM
2

I have a female friend who thought about doing this if she doesn't find anyone in the next couple of years, we don't talk much nowadays so not sure if she's still planning to. I didn't like her idea personally. I think it hugely depends on your circumstances. If you have a lot of disposable income first of all, such that you can do one job or part time job and afford everything, there's more of a chance that I'm okay with it. It means you can also afford extracurriculars for your kids, sitters, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:58 AM
1

People don't need fetishes to get off. Oh, technically they do, fetish is a thing that is physiologically required for people who have it to get off. But I'm being a bit autistic about it, people use "fetish" in common parlance a lot to mean, well, just a kink. If that's what you mean, then I agree more. It's definitely a sexualized preference, whatever it's source. Also height isn't directly correlated to being healthier, and has little to do with nutrition There's this indirect correlation. Fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:38 AM
1

Sure, but a fetish means you cannot get turned on without it. What I am trying to say is I think a lot of women have no trouble getting aroused by shorter men. Definitely not by men shorter than 6ft, but I'd even say men shorter than them. I think they're making a social calculation that's in conflict with their desires. At least partially, there's a part of us that's biologically drawn to height as a sexually dimorphic trait and indicator of good nutrition growing up and blah blah, all of that …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 12:19 AM
3

I'm not sure about this. I'm attracted to men of all heights and have been with men shorter than me, so I don't get it. A lot of women tell me it's about them feeling unfeminine. Not all, but a lot. I've heard a rant about a guy that woman was really really into, but "couldn't date him" because he was slightly shorter and people were going to think she was was butch af besides him. She clearly was attracted to him, so I don't think lack of attraction is always the problem. I don't know if I can …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 11:40 PM
3

First reason is, polyamory doesn't seem unworkable, but it seems more risky. If you don't want kids, all the power to you, structure your relationships however you want. If you do want kids, however, I think you owe them a certain level of familial stability, so I'll be worried about that. Although with rates of divorce, abuse, and other problems, maybe it can't be much worse, but it just feels like it has the potential to. Like, if you practice full relationship anarchy, are only the biological…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 12:05 AM
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I don't know what gives you the idea that incels are this huge voting block skewing these countries conservative / fascist. I think most of Trump's base is older, so he clearly appeals to people who're long past the age where inceldom is going to affect their political thinking in any way. I don't understand how do you think government mandated waifus would make men less fascist, supporting and normizing that type of cruel dehumanizing treatment of people in society would breed lack of empathy a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:52 PM
5

Depends on why a woman likes the height imo. If it's because it's required for her sexual attraction, then that's a fetish. If she's attracted to shorter men as well, but is avoiding them because it makes her feel big and unfeminine to be seen or see herself with him, then that's not a fetish, that's an insecurity. Fetishization in the context you're describing is not just having a fetish. It's reducing an entire other person to your fetish. For example, a man dating only fat women is not fetish…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 08:30 PM
3

I've never had anal so I can't help you much with comparisons of that sort, but I'd imagine it feels way different because of different tissue and different neurology between anus and vagina and also because men have a prostate so anal feels different for you than it does for women anyway.. I would assume sex to a woman feels more like jerking off does for you, just sort of inside-out and with mucous lubed up texture lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 12:33 AM
2

Women do want signs of affection in a romantic relationship, but looks and social skills are not signs of affection, and while gifts are they're not everyone's preferred method of showing it. I think people much more universally want to feel seen, for example, to feel like you heard them and understand them and can relate to them, and can communicate that back to them effectively. I'd feel comfortable making that generalization for example. I mean, of course it's easier to control someone if you…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 12:15 AM
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Neither is objectively harder or easier than the other. I personally find it would be harder to be a man because I am a woman and have lived my whole life as one and learned how to cope with hardships women face and got sort of used to them. I don't know what I would do in a man's shoes with a lot of problems men face. I don't think they're necessarily harder or easier problems, just different, but they're problems that would be way harder for me personally because I don't have the skillset to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 09:31 PM
2

Why do you think it's a better deal to have orgasmless casual sex with randos from the internet who might rape or kindap you, to prostitute yourself online for money, and to beg your friends for favors, and not have a default person for emotional intimacy and fun? Women can live pretty full lives without partners, yes, but we're not all getting in relationships left and right because we have been tricked into thinking it's good for us. In fact, it's insulting to men as a gender to say that they …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 09:05 PM
1

Work
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 08:55 PM
0

Most women want to date around their own age. Most women are taken / married / have children in their 30s. So men's dating pool shrinks with age too and becomes composed of more and more single moms etc. Young women for the most part don't want to date older guys, there are a lot of exceptions, but as a rule it doesn't happen. Idk, all of my male friends and acquaintances who didn't settle down in their 20s are having no more luck now that they're in their 30s. The same things get in the way tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 08:50 PM
1

What helped me is just taking breaks. I eat some reasonable amount calorie-wise and I don't force myself to stop, which creates a scarcity mentality that can lead to cravings and binges. Instead, I just force myself to pause. I go do something else for 10-20 minutes. If I'm still hungry after that time, I keep eating. The thing is, I almost never am. It just takes a while for the feeling of satiety to reach my brain lol. I also didn't remove any foods from my diet, I just lowered amounts and mad…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:14 PM
0

It would be a huge red flag, but not a deal breaker. People can have experience with relationships and boundaries and communication without having romantic relationships, but it's not exactly the same as the stakes are much higher when planning a future together and there are a lot more details to be ironed out, expectations are almost always much higher than for friendships for consistency of communication and seeing each other, things are just heightened, Idk. People CAN have friendships, fami…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 11:50 AM
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Maybe if they did it maliciously they'd be shitty, but I just think they are damaged. Be careful about this way of thinking. I understand why you care a lot about motivation, but it can give you an unhealthy level of empathy for them and disregard for your own emotions. I mean, you can have this mindset and be healthy, but in your case since you keep ending up in abusive relationships and tolerating a lot, I feel like you're too empathetic to these people and don't prioritize your own feelings e…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 11:37 AM
6

I have been friends with a guy for over 10 years who was into me at one point (after a bad breakup, probably a bit of a reboundy thought pattern). He's married now with the cutest little kid and enjoying his life. It was briefly awkward, as you said, but people get over things. That being said, not everyone gets over things. People who don't have many romantic opportunities, who don't have many friends, who're prone to limerence, who don't have other sources of support and validation, who're bor…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:54 AM
1

Google limerence. Is that by any chance something you have experienced?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:45 AM
8

I think we're often hurt by losing male friends to this and feel like they must not have valued the friendship in the first place if they're willing to drop it just like that. That might not be true and not be how you feel on your end, it's just that most women have lost a lot of dear friends this way and it hurts when it happens again and again, so they might be a bit irrational and triggered talking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 11:13 PM
5

Yeah, for example I as a straight woman did the quiz out of curiosity lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 11:06 PM
1

I've never been cold approached I think, I mostly befriend people and then after talking for a bit and hanging out in group settings somebody asks me out. I make a lot of friends. I might befriend someone at work, we go to play board games, they bring a friend, I bring a friend. I go to a small obscure conference where I'm one of <10 people in the audience and ask interesting questions and start talking to speakers or the host after. Or other attendees. I do random projects or workshops or thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 08:12 PM
2

Both people. First of all, the assumption that the woman is the one who doesn't want sex is not always true. There are men whose libido tapers off (maybe due to depression or medication or something else), or who struggle to perform and avoid sex out of anxiety, or who have porn addiction or cheat and are too spent. Dead bedroom ≠ woman denying sex. With that out of the way, it's always both people "to blame". Maybe their libidos are mismatched and it was sort of covered up by the honeymoon phas…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:51 PM
-1

I don't think it's acceptable to take your mood swings out on others, even if they're due to hormones. We don't tolerate male aggression or sexual harassment because of their hormones, so we shouldn't make excuses for ourselves. If you really can't control your responses, you need to remove yourself from the situation instead of yelling etc. Being irritable, sad, weepy, etc. is one thing, I think it's under the normal range of human emotions. But yelling at others and accusing them of stuff irra…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:38 PM
1

HealthyGamerGG has advice I think is excellent. On YT/twitch. There's a subreddit too, but it's becoming a tinybit redpillified as of late when it comes to dating threads (Friday only). I suppose I'm not helping by posting this here lol. In general, verified mental health professionals on YouTube can be a good resource if they talk about dating. Also, your friends! Ask them about their lives, if they're successful with women try to figure out what do they do, if they're women, try to see how the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 11:25 PM
1

What are they like? (personality) Very whiny. About family, about society, about career prospects. She takes responsibility for almost nothing. Possibly autistic. Probably. Has a special interest she talks about in literally every conversation. A bit socially awkward, in both taking cues and self-expression. Quite progressive, cares about the poor and marginalized, huge feminist. Artsy. What type of men do they typically go after? Attractive nerds/artists. Why don’t they manage to make a relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 11:12 PM
1

Idk, I don't see it to the same extent you do, so I can't speak much to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 07:52 AM
8

It has nothing to do with gender, it's a byproduct of insecure attachment style. The person feels like they cannot be wanted, so they settle for being needed at least. It gives them a feeling of security. There's plenty of men with this same problem. They date women who're serial cheaters, who're verbally abusive, who're super mentally unhealthy, who're very dependent and can't take care of themselves, who get hurt repeatedly and blame it on others etc. And they also think they can protect them …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 12:28 AM
7

Yeah, I don't see any problems with any of that if you find someone who's up for it. Might be financially savvy for her too as half your apt rent is probably gonna be only a chunk of what she gets to rent her place out, but depends on how much trouble moving is and how settled she is into her place. But either way, other than the practicalities, there's nothing really problematic about it. The problematic part is getting a practice partner to live with. I mean, not even that, it's fine if they'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 07:43 PM
13

Moving in together is a huge deal. It can result in you getting common law married automatically in many countries. It makes relationships much harder to exit. It's something that tends to be reserved for more serious relationships. I think the only reason young people might be more amenable to it is the fact that they don't make too much money and often need a roommate anyway and are likely to move quite a few more times before settling either way. If young people were more financially secure, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 05:43 PM
17

I don't entirely disagree with "starter partner" concept for either gender, there's something to be said for not taking yourself too seriously when you're young and stupid and letting yourself explore step by step without the pressure of the rest of your life resting on your choice of partner right then and there. But if you're doing it, for either gender, I feel like you need to be fully transparent with the other person or I would consider it deceitful and immoral. Tell them you aren't looking…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 03:04 PM
4

When I was about 13 I was hospitalized for a heart issue and they had this children's ward where all the girls of all ages shared a room, there was like 8-10 beds or something. Anyway, there were some older girls 17 who told me that I should lose my virginity to a random man I don't love because the hormones cause you to bond really hard and you'll be irrational, so you need to lose it to someone you don't care about so you can discard him and be able to be more clear-headed in future relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 03:00 PM
4

To avoid being further victimized
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 02:03 PM
1

Ah yeah fair enough then
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 08:54 AM
1

Why not go for a walk? You can move around and talk and it's free, but there's no pressure of public exercising and you can talk normally and get to know each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:23 AM
3

Because if she's gonna leave you or cheat for that, it's better that she does it early so both of you don't waste time. (I don't rly think this, it's probably possibly reasonable to be upset and set this boundaries in actuality, I just feel like aggressive mate-guarding can sometimes prolong relationships that are doomed to fail anyway.)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:19 AM
2

I've dated 7 years older at most. I'm not sure exactly where the line is, maybe it is even literally 7y, but at some point I may find them physically attractive, but I struggle to connect emotionally. It's like there's a generational subculture kind of thing. We communicate differently, have different values. It's theoretically possible for an older man to be more like younger people, but I don't know any and even when they try to be it's kind of cringy, it feels like they're at the stage of lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:16 AM
2

How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:08 AM
2

I think it's often a cope for not being able to embody traditional femininity whether it be attractiveness or charisma or something else, and having a lot of social pressure to fit into that. It's kind of sour grapes defense mechanism. So I think there's merit to your stereotype. There are also attractive women who do it to fit into male-dominated spaces though. It's still a similar thing, they feel like they don't fit into the masculine space because they're female and they're being gatekept ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 11:06 AM
1

People often don’t like to use the terms “high value” when talking about dating because it can dehumanize people that don’t fit into that particular criteria No. It dehumanizes people who do fit into the criteria as well. The dehumanizing aspect isn't you being deemed not good enough, that may just be insulting or disappointing. The dehumanizing aspect is judging your value as a person based on your sexual desirability alone. A less dehumanizing way to put it would be "conventionally attractive"…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 12:37 AM
5

It's obvious when somebody is less mature than you because you were at that maturity level and outgrew it and you know how it looks and what it entails (approximately, many individual differences etc. ofc). It's harder to recognize when someone is more mature than you, especially when they are only slightly more mature or are pretending not to be. So it's easy to delude yourself that you're equally mature as someone slightly older. But there might also be a biological reason. This is a cross-cul…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 12:20 AM
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I have literally spent half an hour typing out a reply and then I clicked cancel. I don't have the time or the energy to reengage. Tldr: sorry if I have stereotyped you, a lot of cognitive biases are very common on this sub in general and I fall prey to them as well, I don't think it's insane I think it's pretty common everything has an inherently sexual component and that isn't bad or shameful, but it is good to make it conscious I agree with that I think you overstate that sexual component and…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 03:47 PM
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I think you're overestimating the degree to which we sexualize ourselves when we do it because you sexualize us. I mostly dress modestly in public, but I absolutely wear no bra and booty shorts pajama at home around family and around my SO, you'll even catch me in underwear if it's really hot. I never got the positive association from being sexualized because I don't do it in public and I did it long before I had any boyfriends. It's just comfy clothing. I've also seen my male relatives in their…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 01:23 PM
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Do you know how hard it is to find regular shorts for women though lol Seriously, I dress quite tomboyishly and not revealingly, not out of modesty just out of comfort. But Jfc it's so difficult to find good shorts. Like, first of all, everything is skin tight or short or both. Second of all, nothing has pockets. Third of all, sizes are so hard to find. So many shorts slide back when you sit down and your ass may be visible or almost visible. I'm tall, so a lot of things that were made to be reg…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 01:02 PM
9

I dislike much of the same things about both genders, but I'll focus on those I see as more gender-specific in terms of how common they are for the sake of the question. Women are not assertive enough. They are often socialized to please other people and cannot bear to express dissatisfaction or request something. Instead, they'll do a bunch of passive-aggressive bs dancing around the issue or vaguely suggesting the issue or something. I have this problem myself, I struggle to even be aware of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 12:41 PM
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Choking is not light imo, it's a pretty dangerous form of BDSM actually. But I guess it feels light in the sense that a lot of people are into it. (I like it too, I'm just saying, people underestimate the danger sometimes.)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 01:08 AM
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I have no idea. I remember having these fantasies as young as 5 before I even realized they were sexual in nature, I even tried to get other kids to hurt me on the playground. I was never physically punished or punished at all for the most part for that matter, I had a stay at home dad and a working mom, they got along decently. They weren't perfect, but they didn't do anything that I think would cause this. I did witness friends getting physically punished when over at their place for a playdat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 12:59 AM
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Four women on some random subreddit making excuses for themselves for cheating, at least one of which is definitely a troll, are a great example of people in general always making excuses for bad behavior of women? Like, how often do you see a cheater of any gender not make excuses for themselves? It is technically an example of women making excuses for women sure, as much as a guilty person pleading not guilty is an example of people always making excuses for criminals.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 01:11 AM
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That thread is an example of OP’s point. It’s true that women get a pass for bad behavior. It's not a very good example then lol. The other examples you list are good examples though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 12:57 AM
3

It leads to the objectification of women As opposed to marrying them so you could fuck them, which was not objectifying at all? Or marrying them for their domestic skills, family fortune, or whatever else? It's not like we turned from these perfect patriarchal romantics into nihilistic monsters. Anyone can objectify women regardless of how stigmatized sex is. to the normalisation of a lack of commitment That is definitionally what casual sex is, yes. hindering the development of deep, meaningful…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 12:50 AM
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There's like four women who admitted to cheating, one who was cheated on first, one who is a troll, one who is unhinged, and one who is either a troll or unhinged not sure lol. But anyways, cheaters making excuses for themselves in PPD is not the same thing as all people making excuses for women. And OP is also in that thread talking about how having male friends is cheating, so everyone is crazy there lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 12:17 AM
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I agree with women are wonderful effect existing, I even agree with it being at play here to an extent. But the problem is there's an implication here that me admitting that means I admit that women are all of the toxic bs redpillers say they are and that I'm only defending them because an ingroup bias and that's simply not true. There's a bit of ingroup bias sure, but it doesn't invalidate everything and make it just an excuse or something. I agree blue pillers tend to attack men hard on reddit…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 11:22 PM
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These statements are compiled together in the context of this subreddit to paint female nature in a certain light. In and of themselves they aren't untrue (at least some of them I know aren't), but OP is not saying we're disputing that, OP is saying we're making excuses. Divorce being because women are greedy and want to divorce-rape men and get rich off them is bs. If you look at single divorced mom's, they're overwhelmingly worse off than their ex spouses who pay them child support financially…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 07:12 PM
4

This is a Gish gallop. You're trying to present the opposite side as unreasonable for defending against all of your points, when you're making a bunch of small bad points to make us sound defensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 12:39 PM
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Isn't this a Black Mirror episode? And I wouldn't want to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:10 AM
3

What do you mean you're not wasting time on women who don't like you? Would women who do like you need to be paid to be with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 11:22 AM
1

Definitely weird. If people mention they're lonely or looking for a partner, I will keep in mind to invite them to some social gathering with my friends and if they hit it off with someone great, that's their business to invite for a date. It is potential drama if they break up, but I'll take the chance. But I would not arrange a date between two friends explicitly and I would find it weird and kinda desperate to be asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 11:13 AM
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How am I, a random bystander, any more responsible for the resulting child than you, the dude who made it? Why should I pay instead of you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 10:55 AM
1

I'm just explaining the logic of why the insult is used. Weight is a good comparison for women, it's used for shaming because it tends to upset us. Also being called a slut although that's been destigmatized over time. And being called a man / masculine. People pick stuff you're sensitive about when they want to hurt you or make fun of you, each gender has their own sensitivities.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 10:37 AM
0

Not really. I feel entirely out of my depth tbh on the subject of how to approach women, I don't want to cheer them on and put pressure on them to do something dumb and I'm not sure what is or is not dumb. I would if I felt strongly that they should, but usually if they're not sure about a situation neither am I. And when they're sure about a situation they're usually right. I do encourage my lesbian friend though if that counts, she is something else, all the memes are true lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 01:50 AM
1

How do we account for the cases where the male partner was told the truth (that he is not or may not be the father) and knew it at the time of acknowledging paterniaty? Should the couple have to inform the state if this is the case? Should the woman have to name the real father even if her partner is ready to accept responsibility for another's child? What if the child is a product of rape and the couple decided to take care of it? If that weirdness is handled somehow, I'm fine with it being exa…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 09:03 PM
13

I didn't respond to that hypothetical, but I do like that option too. I do realize it makes it harder to get men, but that's okay, great even. I want enthusiastic consent from people who are with me, I don't want them to be with me out of desperation, lack of options, chronic loneliness, or whatever else. I want us both to have good complete lives as single people, have many options, feel entirely comfortable being single, and still choose to date each other. I don't want anyone feeling stuck wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 08:52 PM
0

I think people are giving you a bit too much shit on all this, but you're also a bit too rigid imo. I kinda agree that 😍 emoji is gray area territory, like it could be platonic, but I'd definitely take it as one data point towards someone flirting with me, especially on a thirst trap. I think people often do those "I find you hot in this pic" reactions to build each other up for friendly reasons, but it's definitely a you lookin good message that's being sent. Would not conclude it's flirtation …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 08:46 PM
2

I don't think I'd be against it, I am usually extremely sensitive to children and children's issues, but I don't think even they get to benefit at someone else's expense through deception. We can help them in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 01:10 PM
3

The state has no interest in mandating that since all it gets out of that are single mothers taxpayers have to take care of, so I think it's very unlikely to happen. My personal belief is that they should be done by default, but there should be a possibility for parents to opt out if they both want to. I think the woman wanting to opt out would be enough of a red flag to make it that guy's problem from that point on to figure out what's going on. I think opt out is important for parental rights …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 11:57 AM
3

Nope. I think I would get major imposter syndrome if I did that, even if it was for minor things it would make me struggle to feel like my achievements are my own. Even the possibility of that happening without me being conscious of it and any guys just doing things for me they otherwise wouldn't for simpy reasons stresses me out tbh. Even outside work context, I don't want to take advantage and hurt their feelings, and within work context I don't want advantages based on being female. I mean, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 11:43 AM
3

I know of one case of woman cheating on a man after 4 years of relationship throughout which she was abusive, I know one woman who cheated on multiple gfs with the same chick, I got cheated on once by my ex, and I know a dude who complains that women often cheat with him but don't want anything more serious. I don't know any other situations, but I don't exactly go asking people about it unless they bring it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:22 AM
3

Saaaame. I wouldn't have too much of a problem with my bf having the pass as I trust him not to snoop and invade privacy, my ex had it, but my bf explicitly doesn't want to know it. Besides, it's not only my secrets that are in there, friends confide in me about personal shit I wouldn't want anyone reading about, and even though I have my ex blocked most places chat history is available on some apps and I don't think it'd be fair for his privacy to be invaded either and someone to read about his…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:13 AM
2

I have known men with similar measurements to yours who could be made extremely insecure about it. Like, they legit had exes who would not let them put their whole dick in because it hurt them and was too big, and they would still get insecure about it. I don't know how common that is to be fair, but I think because of all of the body shaming they start getting a distorted picture of reality and no amount of statistics can convince them. Beyond that, if an ex or worse current gf of yours says it…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 11:50 PM
1

Nah, that's just performative outrage trying to signal how you're far too attractive for that guy to those around you, I don't mean that. Although in general it'd be better if we just called them assholes or whatever, I don't like the insults that are rooted in misandry specifically. It started being incel = misogynist/abuser when used as a slur, like people will call those they know for a fact are not incels incels, like exes they personally slept with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 11:34 PM
4

I don't use them, I try to avoid insulting people in general I don't see the purpose of it, just explaining the logic. I may use them in women-only convos where it's a shorthand for a type of guy we're shittalking, but not to attack someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:33 PM
28

We understand, it's just a catch-all insult. Men are often shamed for sexual inexperience so it's a sore point for a lot of them and easy to attack. Those who really are inexperienced are insecure about it, those who aren't might be upset if they come off as inexperienced. It's like saying you have a small dick, dick size also has nothing to do with misogyny, but it's a thing that a lot of men will be upset if you tell them that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:00 PM
2

There is no such thing as a legitimate reason to have trauma, anything can be traumatic depending on the individual, and they don't need to justify it to us. But sexual assault is traumatic to a majority of its victims, yes. Men may not be physically overpowered, but that doesn't mean power wasn't wielded over them, such as emotional abuse, blackmail, financial abuse, abuse of a position of power such as being their boss, the police, or whatever, or other forms of power. And powerlessness isn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:59 AM
–

Have you killed anyone or anything more cognitively advanced than a beetle? It's completely plausible that you have, just checking.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:46 AM
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I don't even live in a developed country and I feel much safer in my home country than I would in America. Imagine needing an ambulance or your child being born needing an incubator and being hit with thousands of dollars of debt if not tens of thousands?? I think I'd instantly develop anxiety lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:44 AM
1

Eh, makes enough sense I guess. I'm sorry you have to be on guard in that way, I understand why based on your experiences, but fingers crossed here you run into a unicorn, even if you're not looking for one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:29 AM
2

Sure, but like is your father alive? If you're looking for a serious relationship, they're eventually going to get to know him. And if you're no contact, that's gonna be weird, they're going to see that there was some dysfunction. Even if he's dead, just the fact that you don't talk about him fondly like people usually do is something someone close to you is bound to notice eventually. You don't have to tell people your weaknesses, if they're close to you they're bound to notice eventually. And …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 01:14 AM
5

Jesus fucking Christ wtf, why would you ever out somebody to your children, tell me they were adults at least
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 11:53 PM
4

To be fair a lot of people can't handle criticisms or feeling accused of something, and it's hard to stoicly take it just cause the person is opening up. Again, there are so many different contexts and different sides being right or wrong, but this one is particularly hard for me because I have the need to argue and defend my stance if I believe this is unfair, and I had a partner then getting hurt because he is just talking about how he feels. And from my pov, not saying anything meens agreemen…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 11:40 PM
6

That makes sense, but I think there are reasons people complain. I have a therapist, a boyfriend, and close friends. I talk to all of them about deep personal issues. But there is a difference of boundaries. With a therapist, you're there just for you. They're explicitly forbidden from engaging in a reciprocal relationship with you, it's very much one-sided. If they're upset for personal reasons at something you say, they deal with that later in private or with their therapist. They're there for…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 11:30 PM
2

Imo you're better off telling her and instantly breaking up the moment they're used against you. If your relationship gets more serious, she will figure out your weaknesses herself and use them against you, better have her reveal if she's like that early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 11:13 PM
1

I don't think when women seem to be putting more hours of chores & when the biggest factor in the wage gap is motherhood aka women's increased investment into family from that point on at the expense of her career, that women benefit from that arrangement. We seem to be losing out financially and losing more time. You can argue that we enjoy it and that might be true, but if we're taught to enjoy an arrangement which enriches others at our expense, I would hardly call that beneficial. That being…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:50 PM
1

If it is societal, who benefits from maintaining those values?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 06:58 PM
1

Yes, but... Why? Do you think there's anything biologically making women enjoy it more?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 03:34 PM
4

The people would never support this. If any extreme measures are taken, I think it would be healthcare for the elderly getting worse, euthanasia being legalized and more easily available, and similar. Forcibly impregnating women would be a recipe for social and economic disaster, children resulting from such arrangements would be more likely to grow up without proper love and in a traumatic environment, to turn to crime, etc. Women's economic output would severely suffer. Overall, the state woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 03:28 PM
2

I think we assortatively mate for intelligence pretty hc cross-culturally, I don't think it's going away. Both genders want to date someone close to their intelligence level. It may not apply to more casual hookups and those kinds of situations as much as it does to looking for LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 02:10 PM
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Experts who have studied psychopathy their whole lives struggle to recognize psychopaths in the wild. I don't know why women would be expected to have any better time. There is also rape and coercion. But hybristophilia is a thing too. All in all, I would not draw generalizable conclusions around psychopathy that easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 01:48 PM
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Nobody needs a reason or excuse to deny sex as it isn't owed. I don't even know why you would want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you at the moment, that's kinda fucked. If you're sexually unsatisfied, communicate that, see if there is an underlying issue you can solve, if it's just mismatched libidos see if there's a way you can live with that, if not, move on. Expecting someone to force themselves to do something like that is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 01:32 PM
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So break up? Nobody says we're entitled, if you're sexually unsatisfied, break up. Literally nobody has a problem with that. What people have a problem with is staying in the relationship and then guilt-tripping, pestering, and pressuring the other person to have sex even when they don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 01:27 PM
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Idk. A friend group of mine found it "too awkward" to remove a guy who tried grooming me and basically every other even barely alternative teenage chick in the entire city, including allegedly raping a 13yo when he was 19, from a Discord server where they were no longer even hanging out with him. He kissed my elementary school BFF when she was 12 he was 17. The friend group would rather "slowly drift apart". Then he tried hitting on the adultass girlfriend of one of the guys and was swiftly exci…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 09:35 PM
1

Yes to having biological grandkids, neutral to nonbiological. I'm sure I wouldn't give them up for the world after getting bonded to them, but I don't actively desire them. A part of me does actively desire genetic descendants. But ultimately, it's none of my business. When I have kids, I get to raise them and give them an opportunity to explore who they are and what they want. Not to impose my own desires. But that doesn't mean I don't have the desire. Maybe it'll change when I actually have ki…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 05:21 PM
2

Yeah, I do think I want it, if we're talking just about my desires with all other considerations removed, I think I want him to pass on my genes, as weird as that is. I mean, it's not weird, it's a natural urge, but it's weird for it to be consciously conceptualized and valued I think a bit. I feel pretty neutral about adoptive/step-kids. I mean, if it actually happens in the future, I expect I'd love them and find them adorable and be happy my son found happiness. But like if he's single lookin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 04:36 PM
10

I already linked an article about dust particles causing cancer, but apparently according to you that can be solved by removing all cleaning products from the home. So I guess I'll go to your shifting goal post and link someone dying from mold exposure. https://indoorscience.com/blog/at-least-7000-people-in-the-united-states-died-from-mold-and-fungal-infections-in-2021/ Let's see what the new requirement for me to meet is, can't wait. Let's remind ourselves that we started this off with you sayi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 04:19 PM
1

Because those apps foster an environment like that. First of all, there are way more men than women on there. That automatically skews things compared to the real world and makes women more choosy. If they can easily get a 100 matches in a couple of days, they don't have the time to get to know all of them and then decide. So they need to filter out more of them before even getting to talk. So they become more picky about your profiles. Then, on top of that, tinder at least is very visual-orient…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 04:10 PM
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I'm sorry you're being targeted so much in that way. Women can be vicious. They can be really bad stalkers and harrassers and use and abuse men and generally get a pass. You even get seen as pathetic if you retaliate or complain in any way. There are tactful ways of pushing back, but it's nigh-impossible and they know it and they take advantage of it. I don't know about "worse" because I don't know how it is for you guys, men do do some pretty crazy shit to us for sure. When we share our problem…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:59 PM
5

Eeeeeh. Any dependence is a deal-breaker, except maybe cigarettes, which I hate, but I live in a country where most adults smoke so I can't be too picky. I've had a LTR with a smoker before. As for recreational, I'm more open-minded, it would depend on the context, but it's most likely still a no. I don't drink or smoke or do any drugs, so I prefer a partner who is similar in that regard, but I'm not completely closed off to the possibility if I don't believe somebody has a problem. I think it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:52 PM
23

I don't think that's invented, they get dusty and dirty as everything else, but it's like once a year at most type of thing, like washing carpets or cleaning AC vents. If they do it more often than that, I'd call it an invented chore too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:45 PM
11

What? Did you read it? Yes? I don't understand? Don't you have flooring, electrical goods, cleaning and cosmetic products in your home? Mildew doesn't kill you. It can cause and gradually worsen allergies, which can be deadly. I'm not saying their usually are, but you asked who has ever died from an unclean home, as if it were impossible. Not sure why just cleaning your shower would prevent that when fungi usually grows on ceilings and walls in moist spaces. Yes, like between tiles in your showe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:36 PM
56

Mf thinks cleaning his own house is "helping"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:12 PM
21

Give an example of an invented chore you don't think needs to be done
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:11 PM
35

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/14/toxic-chemicals-household-dust-health-cancer-infertility That's just the first thing I ran into. You can develop fungi and mildew if you don't clean out your shower, you can get food poisoning from spoiled food, you can get bed bugs, you can attract rodents which carry a bunch of their own pathogens depending on your living arrangements, you can get a bunch of skin conditions, respiratory issues, asthma, allergies. It's not done just for aesthetic …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:03 PM
3

First of all, I want to say that this type of insecurity is perfectly normal (unfortunately) regardless of red pill. Many people feel unlovable. Especially with no dating success, but also with it. They feel worthless. Or they tie their self-worth into something they do instead of just existing. For example, they think people love them only because they do things for them, always defer to them, pay for their stuff, etc. They never feel like anyone truly loves them, only what they provide. It's a…
/r/ExRedPill29/12/23 10:58 AM
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If it's legal pimpery will only skyrocket. Ofc, but then we can regulate it to make it less harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 08:41 AM
1

It should be legal because it's the best way to protect everyone involved. I used to believe in the Scandinavian model until Amnesty International came out with a report about how it's insufficient to protect the people involved. https://www.amnestyusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/norway_report_-_sex_workers_rights_-_embargoed_-_final.pdf BUT I wish we could eliminate it from society as it very often comes with a lot of bad shit. I don't think it's inherently wrong, but I find that it's much m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 10:44 AM
0

For passport bros, it's not like it's a problem for someone to find love abroad. It's a problem when they're specifically going abroad to find love because they know they have more leverage there. Like, if you just go abroad for work or school or whatever and meet a woman there and you two fall in love, there might be some leverage you have there. But the point is you didn't go specifically in order to have that leverage and use it to find a partner. As for lonely men on onlyfans, I agree it can…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 10:33 AM
1

Once I said I was curious to try a croissant near work, but didn't wanna buy it as I'd already had breakfast. A guy from work bought it and brought it to me a bit later. I wasn't gonna make him throw it out and it was only $2, but it didn't feel like entirely platonic niceness. Especially since he walked to work with me and then went back for it. It was definitely overeating to eat it at that point, so I really would have preferred that he hadn't done that. Do you guys understand it as a request…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 10:26 AM
2

I'm just saying that you're not very persuasive to me if that's your goal, since you basically just said "noooo wroooong" which is obviously not gonna change my mind. If that's not your goal in replying, I wonder what else it might be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/23 10:54 AM
2

Do you think the moral grandstanding is gonna change my mind, or is it more for the audience?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/23 08:24 AM
6

Oh, you mean that. First of all, quality relationships take time to build. A lot of us have some baggage from childhood that needs a bit of unpacking to allow us to pick good partners and build up a quality relationship with them. There needs to be some work on yourself that happens first, than some dating search, than some time to build up love and trust and commitment. All of that takes time. Both genders need to do this, but women have a bit of a shorter timeline when they need to do it or th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 08:03 PM
10

Your view implies that we all want career for money. Some do, some don't. I want my career because I enjoy it, it makes me feel fulfilled and intellectually stimulated, it allows me to meet like-minded people with shared interests. I don't want to move halfway across the world to pursue a job at a FAANG company or prestigious education and leave my community and family behind and grind grind grind. I just want to do what I love day to day. And that's what I do. Dating for ambitious people is som…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 04:27 PM
1

If they're dealing with it at least somewhat acceptably, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 04:19 PM
1

I think that's just what the media wants you to believe. You don't even know where I'm from, which culture I grew up in, and what pressures I've faced or not faced. Nor what media I consume. We are independent humans capable of independent decisions. Oh wow really? You learn new things every day. Idk man, I don't feel any of the pressures you listed here as a woman. Maybe I spoke to generally when I said that "women" face pressures. I don't know how it is around the world, but women from everywh…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 04:11 PM
13

Society pressures us all in some ways to sacrifice ourselves and prioritize others. Women are often pressured to look a certain way, to be good homemakers, to be agreeable, docile, boost a man's ego, to focus on looking good and pleasing their partner during sex instead of their own pleasure, to be cheerful, caring, compassionate, to spend a lot of time and energy caretaking for others, to look out for everyone's preferences and feelings. Often all of this comes at the price of authenticity and …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 12:39 AM
15

Do you have anything to substantiate this? That which is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence, or however the quote goes. People don't need dating apps to hookup, hookup culture began way before dating apps, asking parent's permission is a long gone tradition in the Western world, and the social cost of hitting someone up is nowhere near as prohibitively high as you describe it. People hook up casually all the time from real world interactions as well. I mean, I kinda agre…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 10:13 AM
1

I am extremely uncomfortable around what I would call male rage over loneliness. It's very difficult to hear. My heart aches for how hurt they are. I feel threatened/triggered by the level of entitlement they often display. I often see them wrapping up their sense of self-worth with the approval of women and that saddens me. But it also makes me feel weird because I want to build up their confidence, but it's hard to tell a man in this state of mind that he's worthy of love and affection and giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 09:59 AM
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I think men being proposed to is super-wholesome and should be normalized! I think a lot of women find being proposed to very romantic and fantasize about it a lot because they're used to the social norm of them getting that and then they may be upset at the idea of that not being guaranteed. They just want the experience for themselves, selfishly. And they're trying to defend that status quo. I would probably never propose to a man though. First of all, it's a risk of getting rejected which I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 09:49 AM
1

We tend to get upset when it's asked HERE because it's often asked with the implication that women don't bring anything/enough to the table. It's often asked in order to tell us that a bunch of things we list are not what you personally want and that we're somehow inadequate due to that. The question itself is not the problem, the context of PPD is. Try asking it irl on a date in a casual, playful tone, not judgementally, and see what reaction you get. I don't think most women would get offended…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 09:39 AM
1

Not talking about your sexual desires so that women think you are "good" Yeah, this is a tricky one. The problem is, when you comment on another woman's body, it can make us feel like you look at all of us with that lens all the time and may appear objectifying. And also if you say something is unattractive or someone is ugly, again, I'm going to think about the fact that you ran that calculation on me too and wonder what came up. I super-appreciate male friends who're open about their sexuality…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 09:16 AM
0

Maybe those individuals shouldn't bw dating till they resolve their issues. Agreed, but they're often unaware. So, does the responsibility lie on the woman or the guy allowing himself to be put in that situation? Everyone is responsible for their own actions. The guy is responsible for the fact that he's in a hurtful hopeless situation. The woman is responsible if she knew what he was feeling and expecting and then knowingly used that for personal gain. What does that even mean? What's an exampl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 11:18 PM
0

Some adults of both genders have psychological weaknesses that are exploitable. Much like you guys insist it's super-immoral to lead a man on or keep him as an orbiter even though that's entirely his choice and he's able to leave. It's also immoral to be pushy with women continually. Because most will just leave, but eventually you'll run into one who's intimidated, obsessively trying to please, or smth similar. Adults are still ultimately responsible for themselves, but you shouldn't consciousl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 09:27 PM
2

No, how many?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:09 PM
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Wow did we find something all of the pills agree on? I personally worry a bit about the trans stuff tbh. I don't mind deconstructing gender as a concept in general with kids, the only part that worries me is the dysphoria. I guess if we had a medical system that I felt I could rely on I wouldn't worry as much. But a lot of doctors are biased one way or the other (depending on where you live I guess, my country is super-conservative) and it's difficult to get an accurate diagnosis and I just worr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 04:47 PM
1

Sure, that's all I want from you. If they're not cooperative leave them alone, don't try to manipulate them into cooperation. Look for a partner who is already as cooperative as you'd like, if you want a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 01:37 PM
0

Men don't want control of women, they want women to be cooperative that's the difference. What if they're not though?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 12:37 PM
2

But for men who are sensitive and respectful, not so much. Yeah, for sure, I have met a ton of men who struggle to set boundaries and who're very sensitive but feel like they'd be inconveniencing others if they demanded minor adjustments to their preferences. Many men get abused in relationships due to this attitude. Like, on average, it's a bit easier, there's a bit more social pressure on women to please those around them and ignore their own preferences. But that doesn't mean both genders don…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 09:05 AM
5

I don't think the problem with feminism is it concentrates on emotions too much. Sometimes the problem is that it treats emotions of women and minorities as objective reality. Maybe I'm projecting a bit because I struggle with emotional awareness, but I think our society has a long way to go in teaching people the skills they need to navigate the emotional world. As for TRP, it's definitely harmed more people than it has helped, but it may have helped some people who would've been resistent to o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 08:40 AM
1

We have just as many body issues. I've dealt with body dysmorphia, anorexia, and sexual assault my entire life. And nobody cares. Everyone I know that I've told about my most serious rape laughed about it, saying that I got lucky. I'm sorry all of that happened to you. I meant more like on average less men deal with these types of problems, I think all eating disorders are more prevalent in women. We have more societal pressure to look a certain way. That doesn't mean no man experiences the full…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 08:30 AM
7

I don't think negging is a big deal 🤷‍♂️, and people who think so are too fragile IMO. Negging is not a big deal when it doesn't work, it is kind of a big deal when you run into a fragile insecure person on whom it works as intended aka makes them feel the need to prove themselves. Those people ARE fragile, that doesn't mean it's ok to exploit their fragility for personal gain. Can you give specific examples of these? I don't know if I'm allowed to link TRP because it's quarantined, too lazy to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 11:56 PM
14

I think men are under a lot of pressure. Pressure to achieve something professionally, to have certain social skills, a certain level of confidence, to have material wealth, to be seen as cool and easygoing, to be threatening and non-threatening at the same time. Idk. It feels like there's always something to feel inadequate about. It also probably feels lonely. Way less heart to heart, touch-starvation, feeling taken advantage of. Nobody cares much about your life, interests, preferences. You h…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:55 PM
16

There are abusive/manipulative ways to go about it though. Love-bombing can be a part of an abusive dynamic and TRP advocates against that, but it condones things like negging, lying, cheating, not respecting stated boundaries, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:34 PM
27

I don't think many people here have actually read TRP subreddit. They're arguing against a generic tradcon man with some TRPy beliefs to spice him up. Nobody is listening to each other here. That being said, I think there is a lot of men like that around these parts. Men who would want a traditional relationship and society if they could get it. That being said, redpillers do want to control women. Not in the long term necessarily, many opt out of marriage etc. But it's not necessary to opt out …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:23 PM
2

You first stop the violence, physically separate them if necessary. Then you figure out why they did it, you validate their original feelings if they were angry or frustrated, you let them calm down and feel like you understand. If they need space/time to calm down, maybe you send them away or go with them into another room if there's someone available to watch the other child. Then you let them know that that behavior is unacceptable and ask them what else they could do when they're angry or wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:13 PM
1

Violence is sometimes unfortunately necessary. But it's never benevolent to hit kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:48 PM
1

Being moral when I don't have a conscience makes me better at morality than anyone that does the same with the aid of every part of humanity I lack. Haha I heard this take before from ASPD people. There is some truth to that, you choose to act moral, we're wired for it. So you are more responsible for it (at one level of analysis at least) in the sense that you choosing to act good is a bigger deal. I'm pretty sure a pretty robust system of ethics can be built starting from selfishness. If it wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:47 PM
2

Technically not in this particular line of comments in this thread, but it is what the original commenter meant by it if you go and look at his replies to other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 12:37 PM
4

Yeah, I don't know much about raising ASPD kids (I know diagnosis can't be applied to minors but whatever they call it for minors, you know what I mean) other than early intervention being crucial for them in the sense that they turn out really bad if raised like other kids. Maybe a lot of the rules don't apply or need to be modified. Temperamentally I'm inclined not to like any violence towards kids, but I don't wanna pretend to know what's best for that specific scenario, maybe you're right. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 12:07 PM
14

I don't want to comment too much on your individual experience because I don't want to gaslight you about your own life, but I'll try to make a few careful comments. First of all, sociopaths do not fear punishment. That's the whole problem with them, they lack remorse and they're extremely impulsive and don't care for the consequences. That's why prisons are full of them and they repeat-offend as soon as they get out. If you were a sociopath, getting hit would not have worked on you. Second of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 11:08 AM
21

Kids who're not hit are not tyrants, but kids who're not disciplined may be. Hitting ≠ discipline. Not hitting ≠ discipline. Discipline is teaching them right from wrong and having developmentally appropriate high expectations from them. Physical violence is not necessarily the worst thing you can do, but it's not a good thing. It doesn't build character, it builds anxiety, insecure attachment styles, resentment, trauma bonding, and teaches all the wrong reasons to respect authority. There's no …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:56 AM
2

You're free to emotionally negotiate any boundaries you see as necessary in your relationships if you find an agreeable partner. Nobody is going to condone doing stuff behind anyone's back though. And you can't dictate other people's boundaries. There's no reason for a woman to prioritize your peace of mind in case she leaves you over her own peace of mind in the relationship. Still, there are probably some out there who would.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:50 AM
2

I love when y'all get outweirded and get a small taste to how you sound to the rest of us lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:50 AM
39

Repliers who're like "because we can't control women through violence" to this thread are telling on themselves so hard 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:45 AM
23

Nobody needs to get hit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:42 AM
17

Any form of hitting your child is abusive, regardless of your distinctions of how hard you're allowed to hit them or how much you're allowed to physically harm them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:42 AM
–

I am from the Balkans as well and know a guy who keeps claiming African Americans are our cultural brothers overseas lmao Edit: nvm OP is European whoops
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:36 AM
–

I'm sorry you're getting shamed so hard. It's a real struggle and it's okay to rely on your SO to help you deal with your neurodivergence. It sounds like you're trying hard to find coping mechanisms that suit you and that work for both you and your wife. It's hard to define what mothering is. Feeding a grown human would be mothering normally, but if someone is disabled and can hardly move it suddenly falls under reasonable accommodation for your loved one. If somebody is disabled and they techni…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 09:13 PM
1

No, but I genuinely have no idea why. I think I'm pretty boring. But I make a ton of friends wherever I go. I think men like the fact that I listen to them and take interest worryingly much, like are you guys okay?? Idk what's interesting about me. I'm a programmer, I'm decently nerdy, I like pixel art, I used to write not so much nowadays, I game a bit, I read a lot, I'm pretty extroverted but better in smaller groups, I love debating. Pretty standard set of hobbies I think. I'm interesting to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 08:09 PM
2

Conversely, frequent crying and moodiness, something associated with children and women, is considered perfectly healthy by them. Depending on how frequent and out of control, Idk what you mean. It's immature to lash out at other people, take your emotions out on them undeservedly, or otherwise use your moodiness to justify bad actions. It is healthy to be moody or cry when you feel the need to if you do it while respecting others and not targeting them. Although all of the moody out of control …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 07:53 PM
5

Forced to work definitely. I don't mind being dependent on people personally. I believe all of us have value and can bring value regardless of financial independence, many people are disabled, get sick, old, young, etc. and have to rely on others. That reliance does introduce risks of abuse and neglect of course, but I think it's a risk worth taking to rely on your loved ones when you need it. But the problem is... I don't need it. Or want it. In the sense that you're describing. I am able to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 07:44 PM
–

Sure, but your post sounds like you would like it to happen. Like you consider women spoiled for not compromising and having more sex when they don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 05:29 PM
0

I think most people don't ask for much (in the way you seem to see it). I have various standards, and each is like a spectrum. For example, when it comes to physical attraction. I don't do the number scale, but for the sake of explanation, 10 is clearly better than a 6, but 6 is still hot. I wouldn't feel like I'm settling unless I'm not attracted to someone. Settling would be going for someone I feel completely neutral towards sexually or someone I'm repulsed by. Finding someone I'm attracted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 02:32 PM
1

If we were friends before I would expect you to still enjoy the friendship. I would be hurt if an entire friendship was a prolonged charade for someone's crush. I would understand needing time/space after a rejection though. If we meet on a dating app I would not expect friendship lol. I don't use dating apps, but like... People may not need any more friends? I have enough friends imo and am not actively looking for more, even if I hit it off with someone in that sense, I don't have the bandwidt…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 01:02 PM
–

As I get older, it's easier to tell. It's easier to tell for guys that I like back because I pay more attention. It's harder to tell for friends that develop a crush on me later in the friendship bc we already have an established dynamic and it's harder to flirt if you already have a platonic relationship that a lot of that can be interpreted as. I've never had a guy I like ask me out without me anticipating it. I've had guys I don't like ask me out without figuring it out beforehand. It usually…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 12:54 PM
1

I feel neutral about it. I think it shows strength of character to not do it and to learn to feel comfortable in your skin and not raise everyone's beauty standards unrealistically, but I don't think you owe it to anyone to do that. Having body dysmorphia or insecurities can be very distressing, fuck with your life, and people WILL judge you based on looks and not just romantically. Sooo pretty much you do you as far as I'm concerned.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 11:34 AM
–

Why do you want sex on demand even if your partner doesn't want it? Don't you see how that's kind of fucked up?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 11:28 AM
2

It's nice for your partner to feel happy and sexually satisfied, I find the dynamic hot if played into in the right way, and if I was getting an otherwise perfect partner I don't care what he does in his free time. If I am not lacking for attention, sexual satisfaction, connection, resources, if we have children and he's sufficiently present in their lives etc. I don't need him to also live his life outside of that in a particular way. Whatever doesn't impede his ability to have a healthy devote…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:12 PM
1

If it was all magically true and if he somehow magically wanted this arrangement for reasons I agree with morally/philosophically, I might even prefer it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 10:12 AM
2

The problems I have with this: chance of causing pregnancy, I'm pro-life and I can't control the other woman, my existence in this arrangement is sort of an incentive for abortion chance of getting an STI, ok he'll never bring it, but how, that's not realistic chance of developing feelings and leaving me for someone If I knew all 3 of these were somehow magically solved and guaranteed, I would not be jealous. I would even find it hot tbh. But I would have a problem with the asymmetrical arrangem…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 09:22 AM
1

I'm honestly not sure. I'm a very non-jealous person, but I rationally think like there should be limits to avoid developing feelings that could destroy the relationship. But I think I'd mostly be OK with whatever my SO is okay with me doing. Definitely not full on sex or anything that causes an orgasm or may cause pregnancy, but other than that someone can tease them and send them to me lol. But most people will have more stringent limits than that, and I'll hold them to the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 09:08 AM
1

Yeah, I agree. I think it is difficult to develop self-esteem later in life (not impossible, but very difficult), it's largely dependent on growing up in a loving and supportive environment. It does ultimately stem from the external world, I think it wouldn't be entirely inaccurate to say that self-esteem is internalizing the way your parents viewed you. You can work on self-esteem regardless of your place in society, but it's very hard to shift in a good direction if you're not loved. I don't t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 08:46 AM
3

It can be A. When it comes to B, it's not forever locked out, but more like... My view of you needs to be shifted. You're not in potential romantic/sexual interest category at all in my brain. People with sort of naturally flirty personalities are automatically in that category even if we're just friends. It's about maintaining some level of playful tension in our interactions. I have definitely developed crushes on men after knowing them for a while. A lot of times actually, 2/3 of my boyfriend…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:29 AM
–

Probably, but I have no idea how. I don't consume romance too much, but I'm sure different types of characters I read about or watch influence my perception of real people and relationships to some extent. Be careful about romcoms aimed at women. Most people who consume romcom content are women, but I'm not sure whether most women consume romcom. In my country I'd say older women primarily consume telenovelas and reality shows. Dunno about my own generation tbh, I live in a bit of a bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:15 AM
0

If you're trying to sell yourself to others, then the price is obviously not set by you. Self-worth is not about other people liking you. It's about how you feel when they don't like you. People who are confident and have high self-worth don't get overly stressed and anxious at the thought of being disliked. They like themselves and care about themselves irrespective of other's opinions. That doesn't mean they never do self-improvement or take in outside feedback, just that they're not hurt at a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:24 PM
–

The problem is that that's not the only type of man who claims women go for bad boys or whatever. Sometimes, there are very needy possibly BPD men who get obsessive, do an inappropriate amount of favors for you, and then get super-mad when you don't get the same unhealthy obsession for them and start claiming that you don't want their nice attention but somebody to abuse you. So... Not only is the claim that all women want toxicity and abuse misogynistic, hurtful to women who have suffered abuse…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:00 PM
1

I wonder, what data are you basing women using anecdotes as arguments on?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 01:39 PM
1

That doesn't mean you'd be better off dating-wise if you shut yourself off in your basement. It's a somewhat necessary, but not sufficient condition.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 01:38 PM
–

Complaining can be a way to build intimacy, feel heard, or figure out the practical steps to solving your problem through conversation with others. When complaining becomes repetitive, ceaseless, when you start complaining to basically anyone who'll listen, etc. it's when it becomes an unhealthy victim mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:11 AM
4

I had no problem finding committed relationships in my early 20s. I don't think guys will dump women as they age, but I do think people at that age have a higher risk of growing apart as they grow up a bit more. And there's definitely less people looking for casual things in your age group as you age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:07 AM
–

I just want to note, what feels like becoming toxic to you personally, may actually be a normal healthy level of boundaries. When you're a fixer/people-pleaser, confrontation can feel super big and like making a mountain out of a molehill cuz you're not used to standing up for yourself, even though it's literally not a big deal. You definitely shouldn't become your roommates' kind of toxic, but you may feel like you're really toxic while becoming not a doormat, even though you're not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 08:58 AM
15

Yes. I am not even a fan of white lies. You can't build a relationship on the foundation of deceit. Even if you have a great relationship, it will never feel right, because you know that they don't love the real you, but a persona you created for them. And if you just want sex, then you have to find other people who also just want sex. There's plenty of them in younger generations of both genders. Of course, you don't walk up to a woman and say "Hello, nice to meet you, you're hot, wanna hookup?…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:58 AM
1

I'm not a huge fan personally. When I notice someone is very kind and polite, like holding doors for whoever, being really nice to staff, being patient, etc. it is a huge green flag. But if it's done only specifically for women or for romantic interests, and especially if it's over the top like insisting to do things even when it's more inconvenient (like making me wait to open my car door or smth) that annoys me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:44 AM
32

You're kind of telling on yourself if no woman would ever sleep with you if you were honest with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:41 AM
1

On here? There's an implication when asking this question that women don't bring anything to the table, possibly with the exception of a couple of things men here approve of as proper femininity. In general in life, I have never asked or been asked this question, it sounds like a job interview question. You sort of get too know the person and figure out what they bring into a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 10:17 PM
2

I would enjoy women-only space in the gym personally, but Idk if that's the end goal sort of. I wish we all just shared spaces and felt comfortable with each other, but probably not happening in this generation. Also, Idk how financially viable it is, would we have as much options and locations in that case and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 09:58 PM
2

Yeah. Sex and touch definitely improve mental health. And it's not just lack of romantic relationships, men are way less touchy in general. I can hug my friends, I can cuddle my friends, I can initiate platonic touches much more easily. Guys getting touchy with other guys are mocked about being gay unless they're like play-hitting or wrestling each other, and guys getting touchy with women who aren't sexually receptive are considered creepy. So men are forced to satisfy these needs exclusively i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 09:53 PM
1

The fact that some people want to be abused or gaslighted does not make it okay. It just means they probably grew up in a fucked up environment and don't know that they deserve better.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 09:47 PM
0

Because it's the truth that if I stab you you will die, but that doesn't mean I should stab you. There's a lot of TRP strategies that constitute abuse, lying, and psychological manipulation. That will work on some women, yes. That doesn't mean you should do it to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 08:51 AM
5

I'm not upset. Of course you should leave your abuser, everyone should. I'm just trying to say, most abuse victims, especially men in my experience, don't realize what they're experiencing is abuse. I have legit heard a male friend who was severely abused say, "Well, if I am really shitty and I deserve it, it's normal she'd slap me. It's not like it hurt me." He was spanked as a child and he just always normalized in his head that if you're really shitty to someone in some way, you deserve to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 07:12 PM
-1

I think it very very often is, but not because toxic masculinity causes sexlessness. It's more like... Men are under a lot of pressure from society to have sex. Some men may not be able to for various reasons, usually to do with poor social development, trauma, illness, whatever. Those men still experience the pressure and the judgment from society. That judgment is too much to bear, so they want to blame something external. So they often start blaming women and internalizing misogynistic and to…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 07:03 PM
3

I wouldn't enjoy being abused so I would dump them. Are you implying that abuse victims enjoy it on some level so that's why they stay? I wouldn't even necessarily entirely disagree with enough nuance added, but it's a really insensitive thing to say so casually imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 06:58 PM
1

Even if there was no other strategy that worked, that would not make TRP okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 06:52 PM
–

Unless you buy her a dinner half the days, she's providing more dinners than you are. And nobody is asking for chef grade meals at home (although it's very hot if you're able to), women are usually asking to not be left to do an entire type of chore alone all the time because you're weaponizing your incompetence to avoid it. You can learn the basics.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 10:55 AM
–

Don't encourage people to date people they aren't attracted to. It's a recipe for dead bedroom situations and it's unfair to the other party, who could find a partner who's genuinely enthusiastic to be with them. People may learn that they're attracted to a wider range of things than they thought, often their standards are rooted in not being mocked by society (women wanting taller men to appear more feminine to others, men avoiding some physical traits their guy friends would mock them for). Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 09:41 AM
1

I still don't understand. What's the double standard? You lie to get a woman interested, if you didn't lie she wouldn't be interested. Because she's probably interested in the type of man you're pretending to be. That's not a double standard, that's just a standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 01:26 AM
1

Like if an angry animal showed up, that both a man and woman can fight, would the woman more likely try to escape? Or would she feed into her fear and use it to fight aggressively? I am honestly not sure. In an interpersonal situation, men tend to have fight or flight responses to danger, but women tend to have a so called "tend and befriend" response where they try to appease their attacker, they're much more cooperative under stress in general. I don't know if this same response would be appli…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 01:16 AM
1

1 No, due to socialization, and they have a healthier view of work-life balance imo. 2 Yes. 3 No, not as much as men anyway. 4 I think we're about the same 5 No, again due to socialization, women on average are under way less pressure to provide financially. 6 Women would be worse, again due to socialization. They often spend less time dealing with physically heavy labor, they usually aren't the ones shoveling shit or dealing with an infestation at home, especially modern urbanite western women,…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 02:36 AM
2

Before the agricultural revolution, while living as hunter-gatherers, societies were way less patriarchal. They were often matrilineal. People found exchange of gifts and favors really valuable because everyone was always so close to starvation that everyone needed the community to prop them up when they had an unlucky spell, and they helped others out in turn when they had a bit more. This meant people were more rich in connections and relationships than resources, which could usually not be pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 02:18 AM
1

I just don't see men and women as groups, teams, vying for power. I see people as individuals. There are some social realities about how each gender is treated and seen by everyone else in society that make us different, there are biological realities that make us different, but ultimately I'm not going to blame my neighbor or colleague or cousin or friend or boyfriend or whatever for the fact that Putin decided to invade Ukraine. None of them deserve to be drafted and made to kill people, see t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 04:45 PM
1

Mandatory draft is a male problem. Men are largely responsible for war while women and children the primary victims (mass rape, kidnapping, injuries such as fistulas from the terrible rapes), and now people want to involve women in it? I don't see men as a group in this sense. A handful of men who tend to be safe from the fighting tend to be involved in deciding these things and then normal men die by the thousands/millions. Women are not primary victims of men dying on mass. Also nobody wants t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 08:50 AM
1

I think evopsych is interesting and valuable, but very misused by TRP. I also think some extreme BP men can be naive about women to the point of misogyny. They kinda put us on a pedastal, excuse everything, they almost don't see us as human beings but in the opposite way from redpillers. Redpillers project their fears onto women, bluepillers project their desires. Both extremes don't see the plain humanity in us lol. I also think there's a grain of truth in a lot of RP stuff, it's just that the …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 01:40 AM
2

Biologically the egg is more important than the sperm. So I guess that is what 'disposable' means, but where in society does that apply? Mandatory draft. Pressure to be a provider even if it requires you working dangerous jobs. Random customs, Idk if this is international, but in my country the man should walk on the part of the sidewalk closer to the street so if a car accident happens he's more likely to get hurt. Every time a war is reported on, we get "x women and children dead" or "x dead, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 01:28 AM
18

I'm struggling to comprehend most of your post. Like, individual sentences mostly make sense, but I don't get what you're asking us. What do you mean by inconsistent? Our preferences change over time, our standards are different based on the guy in question, or not all women have the same standards? What are the moral rules we place on men that you disagree with? What do our standards have to do with those rules?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 01:06 AM
1

I agree and OP worded it in a kind of a hateful-sounding way, but there's a grain of truth in the thought. Google "normative male alexithymia".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 11:23 PM
2

So, you support it in countries where women are expected to dress in burkas, etc? You would support men publically shaming them for their attire which goes agaisnt patriarchal social norms? As said, I wouldn't support it because those aren't my personal beliefs. But I'd expect to see it. And if I was in that culture and shared those beliefs then I'd probably support it. But I'm not. So I don't. Personally, I don't think staring should make anyone feel unsafe. Uncomfortable, sure, but in most of …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 09:19 PM
4

There's a difference between taking a look, sizing someone up, and staring at someone. I don't think you would be comfortable if a man sat across from you in public transport and just stared at you intensely the whole ride. That being said, there can be misunderstandings, a lot of people space out and may seem like they're staring or whatever, but the point is, a glance and prolonged unbroken eye contact or staring at boobs or whatever are different. From what I understood from other posters, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 06:02 PM
3

It's not about personal beliefs, it's about social norms. If a single woman or a fringe subset of weirdo women believed that behavior to be creepy, then most people would look at the clip posted and be like wtf why are they filming this normal dude going about his business and cackling about it, these women need to get checked. But if most of us recognize the behavior on the clip as kinda socially inappropriate, the reaction would be different. Same with taking pictures of women dressed provocat…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 05:56 PM
22

This has to be bait. Filming other people's inappropriate behavior is definitely okay. Posting it online Idk, I'm leaning on not ok, but I can see an argument for both sides, it's probably a bit circumstantial and morally gray. But taking creepshots is clearly not ok. If you don't understand this, you're probably among the poor socially challenged men you're trying so hard to stick up for. For clarification if it is indeed needed, the difference is the same as the difference between me staring a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 11:09 AM
17

a man a female 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 10:57 AM
1

Maybe we're imagining different degrees of this behavior. I got the impression from OP that you said women never build men up and they frequently neg them. If you mean more like they won't excuse your bad behavior the way they sometimes do to their female friends and they will flirtatiously mock you about something you're not insecure about, that's not abuse. I actually think women often give each other bad advice because of being overly empathetic, I wouldn't complain if they were a bit more bl…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 11:30 PM
1

I don't see it as strong to subject yourself to abuse to get something. And I don't think normal women are nearly as rare as you make them out to be. But I guess we're unlikely to convince each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 05:58 PM
1

If someone you love abuses you, it hurts. If you just don't love women and see them as vehicles for fulfilling your wants and needs as a defense mechanism against this abuse, then you'll be much less likely to find a mature self-respecting woman who'd never resort to this bs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 02:18 PM
–

Women aren't giving custody to anyone, the court is. And of course they're not going to want their kids endangered if they think they are. It's up to the court to decide whether there's sufficient evidence for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 02:26 AM
1

Not at all, I don't think. I would feel uncomfortable being paid for etc. because I'd be afraid I'd get used to it and dependent on it and that would cloud my judgment. I prefer these kinds of things to go two way. Not necessarily splitting the bill, that's kind of unromantic lol, but paying in turn so each one gets to look forward to being spoiled a bit etc. I'm not sure if I let go of all rational/logical reservations and engaged in a relationship like this would that make me horny. Maybe simp…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:57 PM
1

No. I mean, balance is not the issue, there's plenty of people of both genders of different viewpoints. But there is some crazy polarization going on where people heavily see each other as ingroup-outgroup and prejudge based on that, where everyone takes opposite reactionary positions, topics are recycled, and hardly anyone changes opinions or learns. It's more of an entertaining shitshow. I removed the sub from my feed bc I was starting to engage with it in a bit of a toxic way and now I only c…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:49 PM
–

No. I don't think that would be legally enforceable anyway because they need to look at what's best for the kids, but either way, no. The law is there to handle those situations and I'm not going to dispute 50-50 custody if he wants it unless I think the father is unsafe for the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:41 PM
1

I would find it completely reckless to engage more than one. And if you can avoid a fight even with only one entirely, you should. I think I would find it attractive to get the impression that he'd be able to win a fight, but for him to choose not to fight. Senseless fighting is unattractive because it puts him at unnecessary risk and I want my partner to be okay. But being able to fight if necessary is still a turn on. So I guess whether I get the ick would mostly depend on my impression on whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:35 PM
–

It's rarely B, we make time if we're interested. Some women play mind games when they're interested and leave you waiting on purpose, but I'd nope the fuck out of that dynamic too. So yeah, usually A or something imo worse than A. Edit: obviously a bunch of exceptions, it will be different if you're dating a CEO or a single mom, or if she has important events, whether you only just met or have been taking, whether you're in school or adults or whatever, etc. etc. context matters, but I would ass…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:28 PM
2

I have been called a pickme in virtually every internet debate with strangers where a profile picture with me in it is visible where I say anything remotely supporting men, which isn't the classic "men aren't allowed to be vulnerable" feminist line which is the only thing you're allowed to say in favor of men pretty much lol. But I like the spirit of the insult, even if it's overused. I like having a term to call out "not like other girls" genre of misogyny because it's very real. So I guess it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:25 PM
5

I think women in general have a lot of work to do on their relationship with their sexuality. There tends to be a lot of internalized shame, difficulty to orgasm because of said internalized shame, need to use substances like alcohol to overcome said shame and cause impulsivity enough to do it, etc. There is also a need to appear hot at all times and focus on being pleasing to the men by acting hot to a point where it can be hard to focus on the sensations and the connection. All of my close fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:18 PM
1

If you're with a woman who never validates and builds you up, frequently negs you, and in general doesn't make you feel confident, you're being psychologically abused. Don't tolerate this. Don't exuce this by saying it's in women's nature. You deserve better. And they can do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 09:59 PM
2

I think fiction can have incredibly valuable lessons that are hard to communicate otherwise, and it can also cause some bad beliefs in people. I personally think fiction is a good way to learn about life IF you're also going out and living that life. As in, you can see different perspectives, consider different situations, but informed by your real life experiences. If you take fiction as fact and not in context of real life and parallels that may exist, then you'll obviously derive wrong conclu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 09:55 PM
1

I think there are several factors at play. Main one is social pressure. Men are way more severely shamed for liking men. If they're gay, they can't really help it so they come out and deal with the shame, because the alternative of forgoing sexual satisfaction is worse. But if they're bi, that's hideable/ingorable/repress able. They can safely pretend to be straight and still get sexually satisfying fulfilling lives. So they can avoid the shame at a much lesser cost to them. The second factor is…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 09:36 PM
1

Not morally responsible, causally responsible
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 01:09 PM
8

I think both parties are almost always responsible for divorce. One party's action may be more morally reprehensible, but ultimately in a relationship of 2 people you both contribute to that relationship and it's unlikely that it gets to marriage and then deteriorates with one person behaving perfectly throughout and the other one being the villain. As for lesbian marriages, there's way more factors involved than just the genders of the people involved. Both lesbian and heterosexual marriages te…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:17 PM
1

Can you tell me a real life situation where this happens, maybe I've seen it but can't think of it. What sorts of things do they say? Is it in private or in public? Feel free to ignore if you don't wanna talk about personal stuff, just genuinely nothing comes to mind to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 11:00 PM
1

Yeah, I hear you. But tbh I understand why you're frustrated because men are expected to just shut up and deal with it and they are having a really hard time with incompletely adjusted society and expectations. I understand you run into deaf ears at every corner and y'all are screaming into the void about loneliness, pressure to perform, expendableness, etc. I don't get-get it, I've never experienced anything similar, but I get it. But at the same time... When somebody comes and asks here (in OP…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:54 PM
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Would be annoying and slightly threatening. I would feel less demeaned than with a regular dude, but more threatened.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 04:21 PM
1

I don't disagree with most of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 04:14 PM
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I would prefer to have my own child. I would adopt as an alternative or in addition. I would like raising my partner's child the least, but not because I care about being cucked by it or anything, it's just the most complicated option. The relationship would get very serious very fast with kids involved. I would need to "have a kid" not really on my own timeline but when I want to move in with my partner or maybe to an extent even before if I spend significant time with them both. Then there is …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 03:25 PM
1

If women acted like men, maybe there would be way more female victims. We avoid going out at certain hours, go with friends, have people follow us home, don't go out at all, don't go to dangerous areas, avoid strangers when alone, watch our drinks, bring pepper sprays etc, send live locs to our friends, we don't travel alone as much, we don't travel to countries with misogynistic laws, we are often not allowed to go out as much by our parents when young, we definitely aren't joining street gangs…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:52 AM
1

Men are incredibly insecure about their dicks all the time, even men with big dicks. They might think it'd be better to be even bigger or thicker or whatever, even as their gfs struggle sexually because they can't take it whole. It's ridiculous. I'm sure there's a metric fuckton of social pressure to cause that amount of insecurity. But I have genuinely never seen women perpetuate this and the only scenario where I can imagine them doing it is when they just want to hurt you and they know that's…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 06:26 PM
3

Most people can't stand children who aren't their own?! Is that true?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 06:19 PM
2

I don't think society is hostile towards us, I agree these are the best times to be a woman, at least according to my own personal values. I would suck at being a woman in the past lol. But there are issues though. We have won our autonomy, but some fundamental questions about sex differences have not been fully addressed. Becoming an adult takes longer and longer with prolonged education and time needed to establish a career in this economy. But our reproduction still works the same and we need…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 05:46 PM
1

Yup, I agree. I just kind of want an all-encompassing word bc the worldview I'm talking about includes opinions on childrearing, lineage, religion, age-based respect, sexuality and sexual morality, education system, etc. In this case it was gender but it influences a lot of things. Archaic beliefs might be the best term, but it's kind of vague. But so is patriarchy I guess.
/r/MensRights19/09/23 04:40 PM
1

This is what confuses me the most, what do you mean by "patriarchal" and how the awful treatment that some boys receive have elements of this patriarchal ideology? I see the ways in which I described boys suffering as remnants of the old social systems. I.e. we believe boys are tougher or smarter or whatever, so parents punish them more because they ascribe more responsibility to them or more ability to take the punishment. Same logic actually applies to older men and court sentencing. Women are…
/r/MensRights19/09/23 07:25 AM
0

I have a hard time in believing in the idea that women are more likely to be victims from a crime just because of their gender (aka hate crime) than men are. It's good that I never said that then. I think gender-based hate crime is rare in the developed world. I don't think I follow, how saying "by other men" in this context equals to "highlighting that those same outdated gender roles are a cause of male victimhood as well"? It does seems to me that A is trying to do some kind of "gotcha" to me…
/r/MensRights18/09/23 11:33 PM
2

Yeah, there's definitely a shitton of misandry in both discussion and systemic treatment of male victims. And it is awful. :/
/r/MensRights18/09/23 07:56 PM
3

I am don't say this and it's definitely kind of cringe, especially when used to dismiss male victims. BUT 😅 I often see conversations unfold like this: A: Women are a victim of this crime because of patriarchal attitudes and outdated gender roles. B: But men are victim of that crime more often. A: By other men. In this scenario, A is not trying to dismiss male victims (in others, very often, people do try that, but I want to discuss this specific scenario). A is highlighting that those same outd…
/r/MensRights18/09/23 06:01 PM
1

Oh holy shit, I didn't know about this, that's fucked up. It should maybe go on an internal record only visible to the police in case there wasn't enough evidence but you become a repeat offender so that they can see a pattern, but it should never be externally visible like to your employer or anyone else doing a background check, wtf.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 09:10 AM
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I do believe we're naturally serially monogamous, though quite flexible. But the sex ratio is not a good argument. If only top 10% of men reproduced with all women, women may be more likely to reproduce, but mean and women would have the same average number of children. This would make having a male child extremely high risk, extremely high reward, and having a female child a safe option. The high reward of a successful mail might offset the high risk of an unsuccessful one and create evolutiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 02:09 AM
1

I don't think that's how it works. Don't get me wrong, a false allegation can create a lot of problems and ruin lives because if people believe it you'll get socially ostracized, but courts still require "beyond a reasonable doubt" for felonies and conviction rates are still very low.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 01:37 AM
3

Attraction is such a complex multivariate thing and also very instinctive. Most people don't rationalize and dissect what attracted them to somebody in the way you imagine. And a rejection usually isn't "you're perfect except for X", usually if somebody is perfect except for one flaw they're going to get a yes honestly. It's more like, well you seem a bit desperate, and you're kinda chubby, and you sort of snort when you laugh, and you crack too many crass jokes, and you don't like my hobbies, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:52 PM
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What exactly is wrong with what I listed in the post? If you mean like morally wrong, there's nothing wrong with it. I just don't find it attractive. I'd be with a mute guy if he wasn't socially anxious and we could communicate in some way. I would prefer in general to be with someone who speaks my native language, but writing or signing is acceptable. But severe social anxiety is off-putting. It seems like it'd make it very difficult to get to know the guy, we couldn't go out and hang out with …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 10:59 PM
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Just the title - I'd give it a go. Body of the post - No, sorry. Can you sign though? With how you explained selective mutism in the comments it sounds like you wouldn't be able to sign either because you freeze up and can't communicate, but just curious. Or like write out what you want to say if you can't speak or sign? Or is all of that shut off by anxiety? Idk lack of ability to communicate would be a huge issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 05:37 PM
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Sign is a language (gesturing is a different thing) and we have textual communication. I don't think he'd change most people's mind about attraction by explaining things though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 05:33 PM
1

You're free to define it out of existence, but the rest of humanity will continue to use the word to mean what we always thought it meant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 09:35 PM
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Did I say that I can't/don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:29 PM
6

Assertive communication is really important, but it doesn't begin with good communication, it begins with being able to notice and understand your own mental state honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:00 PM
6

As an extrovert who is dating an introvert, it can be challenging to balance sometimes. I want to go out with my friends or do social stuff, he wants to stay in more, we both need alone time, we both want together time. The math doesn't math a lot of the time. We make it work, I'm not a megaextrovert Idk I'm sort of in the middle so we're not that far off, but I imagine to very extroverted women this would be kind of important. Also, people often conflate unwillingness to do something with inabi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 09:53 PM
1

If you already have internalized shame, then you have to deal with it when you express your desires, it comes up. Over time, maybe you'd overcome it with practice & make it more normalized and acceptable for others, but in the moment it's stressful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:07 PM
1

I'm in a relationship already so I hope not to have cause to give it a try lol, but I do try to be more aware of what I want, initiate more and be more proactive since I've realized that I do this passivity shit. I don't doubt I would learn if I learned, I don't think there's anything intrinsic about being a woman that stops you from doing any of this, it's just that you sort of have to decide consciously to do it. By following social norms there's no fear of rejection, no dealing with internali…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:02 PM
8

It's a bit of a difficult question to answer, because in the world you're proposing I would be a different person. Social pressures shape our personalities and skills and women learn that it's okay to be more passive, non-confrontational, not to approach etc. Which means that I don't have the beliefs, skills, or confidence I might have if I lived in your world from the get go. So I'm already imagining a different version of me while answering the question, which might make my answer a bit less r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 01:34 PM
2

Yeah, yeah, it was definitely a dunk on mothers. OP seems awfully concerned with what other people do with their uteruses for someone who's supposedly secure & comfortable with their personal decision on the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 07:50 AM
0

They're heavily correlated.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 07:36 AM
3

Preferences can sometimes have problematic roots, but the preference itself isn't a problem as long as it's for another consenting adult. Or rather, pressuring people to change a preference is more problematic than the preference itself because it might be rooted in something bad. You may be pushing people into sexually unfulfilling relationships where their partners feel undesirable, where people cheat, etc. If somebody wants to examine their own preferences because they're questioning whether …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 09:29 PM
2

I think a lot of them are just avoiding confrontation. I never got a good reaction when I've had to cut somebody off or when I broke up with men. A lot of them will harass you, won't take no for an answer, will ask for endless explanations even after months of chances and hours of conversation when breaking up, they will try to set up dates under false pretenses ("just friendly hanging out", "let's get a coffee and talk about what went wrong" despite already having the conversations, etc). I jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:28 PM
2

Thanks, I try. I've done my share of shitty things, but never maliciously.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 10:59 AM
6

Can you directly quote one person who said sex is not important and thinking it is is shallow?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:56 AM
18

Not in a romantic context, but I occasionally crack an edgy joke at work or something to show men I won't go to HR over every small sin against political correctness. I very much feel in the workplace that there is this fear when a woman is around. I never use anything said to me during a moment of vulnerability to dunk on someone later when I'm angry. Even after we break up, I don't go spreading that shit. I will badmouth them about stuff they did to me to my friends (not to theirs), but never …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 10:57 PM
2

I think you might be equating porn and masturbation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 04:43 PM
14

I assumed most imagined to be the guy fucking them, not a husband watching another guy fuck them??
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 10:54 AM
4

It's not immoral to deny sex in a committed relationship? No, unless it's done maliciously to manipulate and control. It's not immoral not to force yourself to have sex when you don't want to. If that's not immoral then neither is cheating. Cheating is going behind someone's back to fuck others. Dishonesty like that is immoral. She is effectively banning him from having sex because she won't have sex with him, but he is also prohibited from getting sex somewhere else. She's not banning him from …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:10 PM
1

Because it's immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 10:10 PM
11

I think the problem is with the framing of this issue. If you're in a dead bedroom situation, of course you're going to be upset. The problem is, your partner presumably isn't "withholding sex" or whatever, unless they're abusive and are using it as a manipulation tactic. They just DON'T WANT sex as much as you do. That's a very different problem. You with your phrasing of "how is it reasonable" etc. imply that they should suck it up and have more sex since it's unreasonable to expect you to go …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:52 PM
1

I think when you're younger it's a sense of safety. These types of guys are always popular with teenage girls, including boy bands, Justin Bieber, stuff like that, babyface cute guys. I think it makes them feel safe compared to a masculine man who's kind of scary when you're a girl honestly. When it comes to older women, there are variety of tastes. Idk, androgyny can be attractive in both genders, I don't know why. Maybe it provides contrast for your more masculine features, like if you look mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:46 AM
2

You said women approaching men being the norm will never happen. I think it could, but I'm not sure is it ever gonna be 50/50. Maybe only half the women will have the confidence to do it. Maybe all women will go out of their way to make the first move if they're really into a guy and not otherwise. Maybe women will approach shy or awkward guys because women see that they're too clumsy to do it themselves and maybe are less likely to reject them. Maybe younger women will be more coy and signal an…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:34 AM
1

Eh, possible, Idk. I mean, it fits with the outdated pseudo-moral bullshit narrative. But I think we have a lot of data to support that this is currently the case, the debatable stuff is just the causes aka whether it's biological or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:51 PM
8

Rather we are saying Who is we? You're saying. the contract is, only person A and B can have sex with one another. Yes. But if B doesn't want sex, that effectively breaks the contract. It prevents the contract from being fulfilled. No. It does not break the contract of monogamy at all. It breaks another, separate contract, which is striving to fulfill each other's sexual needs. And if that contract is broken, you're fully entitled to exit the relationship that no longer meets your needs. You're …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:18 PM
1

That entirely depends on whether they're in a monogamous relationship or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:09 PM
2

Women won't allow it to happen. We all know why women don't like making the first move. It's mostly a combination of fear and ego. They don't like putting their neck on the line so they'd rather the guy does it. This is not the reason. I mean it is, but it's not. Nobody likes making the first move and sticking their neck out. Or at least most people don't, risk of rejection is scary. Men just do it because they feel they have to. It may be that it's difficult to move from this particular positio…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:07 PM
2

Yes, absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:44 PM
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I met two boyfriends through social circles and third at work. I think the trouble with social circle stuff is rather extroverted people who know many people and attend many events and have many hobbies give out this advice assuming everyone's experience is the same. I have several close friends who all have their groups of friends, work colleagues, acquaintances, family, friends from school/college/neighborhood, friends from hobbies, extracurriculars, clubs, student organizations, ex coworkers,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:41 PM
1

38% of couples who receive marriage counseling get divorced within 4 years; however, nearly 70% of couples having similar problems who do not seek counseling are divorced within 4 years It's a random blog, I'm too lazy to search for the actual source, but I'd be surprised if it was as ineffective as your anecdotes would suggest. Your friend's situations seemed to include an abusive party looking to weaponize a therapist against their partner, rather than people looking to fix their marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:44 AM
1

If they're interested, you'll know. If you're confused, they're not interested. This has been true 100 percent of the time for me. This is the only thing I will disagree on, many people fail to see cues for some reason. Some see them, but are insecure so they question them, I think this is the most common. Some are just bad at social cues. And some are so arrogant they think all women around them are into them when they're politely appeasing them because they're afraid. I think this advice proba…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 11:42 PM
3

Reddit awards don't work rn anyway unless you already have coins pre-purchased since they're reworking them and will relaunch them in September. I'm salty bc I really wanted to give someone gold a couple of days back. But yeah, if it makes you feel any better, you wouldn't have been able to even if you had the money :P
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 11:42 PM
1

Depends on what you mean by that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:54 PM
3

Since becoming sexually active, 6 months was longest and it was easy. I struggle to contain the urge when sex is available, i.e. when I'm hanging out with my partner indoors I'll be horny like all the time. When sex is not available, I'm much less intense about it. I think I could've gone much longer if I wanted to. And by "available" I don't mean I could find someone for ONS, I mean more like the person I wanna have it with is in the same room as me and we have privacy right this second, so mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 08:26 PM
2

Yeah, that's a good example! I'm sorry you deal/dealt with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:28 PM
13

I think the problem is we don't get to experience interactions with a representative sample of all men. The aggressive pushy manipulative rapey ones don't usually do that to only one women, they're the ones going out and chatting up every girl ever, they swipe on everyone on dating apps, they spam send dick picks to 100s of girls on social media, they grope every girl who looks too squeamish to protest at a party, etc. etc. So they're sort of overrepresented in our experiences because they go ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:48 PM
6

but most of those can be seen within the first dates imo. They don't start employing them from the first dates, except love-bombing and mirroring. But in retrospect, there were quite obvious red flags for toxic men in my past, I was just young and dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:37 AM
3

I think you can in one of these three cases at least: 1) Gaslighter just so delusional and narcissistic and can't accept that they were wrong or immoral so hard that they alter their own memories. 2) There was a genuine two-sided misunderstanding, but instead of communicating in a healthy manner to clear it up, one person is very aggressive and says stuff like "You're crazy, you made that up" etc. The other person didn't make stuff up, but they misinterpreted events. 3) The person gaslighting is…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:23 AM
1

Sure, if you want those things and can't seem to get them, it must be tough to come to terms with it. I think it's worthwhile to let yourself grieve that vision. Hmm, how to describe this. When you're in a relationship for pretty long and you already see future with this person as a given and you've been planning and imagining for years what it's going to look like, it can be very hard to let go even if you realize you're bad for each other. And before you allow yourself to let go and grieve the…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 09:40 PM
1

I have a partner and would very much like to have a life partner. I don't expect my kids to visit super-often when I have them necessarily, I hope to still have my own life, interests, friends, etc. into old age, even with health decline, I don't want to rely on someone to provide me meaning, I think that whole dynamic is unhealthy. Statistically, men die younger so I might lose my partner and go on living for a while, I hope to be able to cope with that. If I'm too unhealthy to pursue things on…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:54 PM
7

Probably not. We probably have different views of sex. I'd be suspicious about his willingness to commit and his capability to be monogamous. But I don't find it disgusting in any way like many guys here do, I'd even say it's hot when someone is super-comfortable and confident about their body and sexuality. I'd just be worried we're looking for different things. If I could be convinced that we aren't, I'd have no problem with it. Also, it would probably be helpful to define promiscuous. It depe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:22 PM
6

If you think on this subreddit, because we're all prejudiced about people who come to this subreddit. If you think in general, I don't know. Maybe you're missing some aspect of the story or the guy's attitude that rubs people the wrong way, maybe because you have similar views that they see a problem with. Or maybe people are just trigger happy and want to insult others on the internet to feel good about themselves. I'd have to see a particular situation to be able to tell you what I think is go…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:08 PM
1

I talk about it when relevant. Aka if we're talking about trying something I'll mention if I've already tried it and what my experience was. If we're talking about turning me on or making me orgasm I might mention what worked and hasn't worked before and that might involve a partner doing a thing. I might disclose previous negative experiences to explain my exaggerated emotional reaction to something that's not that bad and emphasize it's not my current partner's fault. If it's not relevant in s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 12:06 PM
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Are you really lol? It's pretty difficult to keep breaking these things down, I don't think so consciously / verbally about social interactions. You imply desire for sex by combining a bunch of small cues which individually may seem innocent. Being really available and seeming eager to interact is one, the fact that you're on a date is another cue. Then you start flirting and saying suggestive things, that type of back and forth is definitely a hint you want sex. Touching each other while you ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:58 AM
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That feeling when you're flirting and implying desire for sex, but you haven't had it yet, so you're very excited. It's especially strong before the first time you have sex because there's some insecurity about the other party's feelings and it's kind of nice to engage in a bit of flirty banter that acknowledges the dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 12:51 AM
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There are two elements of the "spark" imo: 1) lust / sexual attraction 2) compatible communication styles, sense of humor, being able to pick up each other's cues easily, relating about emotional experiences and values that come up It's not a deep connection and it doesn't guarantee more serious compatibility down the line. It's more like, the attraction is there and we aren't getting stunlocked in awkward silences or struggling to flirt at all or something. It means there's sexual tension, laug…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 12:25 AM
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Why would I want to give pleasure to something that will feel so lowly about me afterwards? Exactly, don't. Avoid these types of men at all costs. There are so many good men around, no need to settle for fuckboys who just want you for your body, who dehumanize you, slut-shame you, etc. TL;DR How has body count discourse affected women and their views on sex? It comes down to whether you agree with them or not at some level. I'm not religious, so I don't care that religious people want a partner …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 11:33 PM
3

I do and it's super-unfair and women absolutely need to be called out about not communicating more explicitly and not ever initiating themselves. This is especially difficult for neurodiverse folk, but it's tricky for men in general. But in the meantime while we fix women being pushovers issue also, like, please try not to accidentally push too far if you can, keep in mind a lot of women suck at asserting their boundaries. Especially if you see that a woman seems shy and overly kind or something…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:38 PM
1

I went out on a first date at a coffee shop. I greeted her with a hug and said goodbye with a hug. I didn't touch her throughout the date and I was then ghosted. This entire paragraph rly begs a "correlation vs causation" comment lol. Tldr if I feel safe touch is going to be ultimately okay. If we're friends and I accept a date, I'm likely both comfortable and attracted bc I would've rejected out of the gate if I wasn't, so it's probably going to be ok to kiss me by the end. If we have known eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:26 PM
9

The fact that you filed for divorce, doesn't mean that it's your actions that caused the breakup of the trust, intimacy, love, care, effort, etc. that are necessary to maintain a relationship. If you marry a woman and then she cheats on you, stops having sex with you altogether, quits her job to live on your dime, physically and emotionally abuses you and your children, becomes an alcoholic, and then you file for divorce, who caused the divorce? This is obviously an extreme example, but it's giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:44 PM
18

"This one woman I know found a good partner despite not being perfect, so all women always can have great partners if they want to." This is what you sound like.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 01:26 PM
1

Source? My quick Google search found a lot of them in their 30s, 40s, and even some in their 50s. The very description of the category says middle-aged women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:26 AM
1

You want to do this to people of a certain gender for having an opinion. Or expressing an opinion. It absolutely is a scary dictatorship thing. And even if I were to grant you that, an all-male labor camp is just revenge porn for you. How does that help anyone become less misogynistic? If anything, rounding them all up and putting them together to suffer for their opinions would only bolster them honestly. You wouldn't be caught dead in that environment walking back any of your beliefs, you'd fu…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:57 AM
1

I know it's weird and unintuitive for men to be attracted to someone who can no longer reproduce. But, if they're not, then why is MILF one of the most searched porn categories worldwide?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:45 AM
1

Well, that also seems crazy to me tbh, if I was French I'd probably oppose it. But it seems like a slight derail of a conversation that was more about using a bunch of dehumanizing language like comparisons to dogs, male detritus, etc. along with terminology like "rounding them up" which is very evocative of concentration camps or gulags, along with shitting on an entire sex in general. We can flash out my entire position on forced labor under all different circumstances and international regime…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 12:02 AM
2

Civil conscription in case of emergency or a community service sentence as an alternative to prison are waaaay different to men being "rounded up and sent to camps" to do manual labor because they're struggling romantically and have fallen prey to some stupid online ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 11:45 PM
4

We already lock people up for miniscule things like not paying their bills, is it really such a big leap to lock up incels who spew misogynist shit online all day? Yes, it is a huge leap. Hard to not be a little misandrist when you look at the facts and the shit men do. Ok I mean then you just see things differently than I do. I don't think it's okay to generalize entire groups of people based on immutable characteristics, I don't think forced labor is okay, I don't think comparing men to dogs i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:43 PM
19

I don't think that bit is lack of experience. I think a lot of men who complain about that have experienced that time and time again, not because all women are like that, but because they have a tendency to get into unhealthy dynamics for one reason or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:27 PM
13

Tfw when the most sexist spew I ever read on this subreddit is no longer about women. You've literally advocated for labor camps for struggling men. Wtfff You're so far removed from normalcy I'm not sure how to even change your view. Do you at least recognize that what you're saying is misandrist af? I guess if you agree with that then I probably can't change your mind, but if you don't maybe I can break down why I think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:10 PM
1

If you agree with the characterization of the situation of the guy I responded to (aka that this is a demotion) then yes. From reading your OP you didn't give me an impression that you would view it that way. It just seems like you removed yourself from a situation that was hurting you in a timely manner in a healthy way. So in my mind I was responding to that guy not you, so depends on how much you agree with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 06:19 PM
2

The absence of sex when you never even had it in the first place isn't a demotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 05:58 PM
2

Demotion from what? He was never a romantic partner. He was demoted from friend to friend? Or was he demoted from the fantasy in his head back to reality and he's being demoted like that every time she reminds him he has no chance? I agree exploiting someone's feelings for you is bad, but guys not being willing to take an ounce of responsibility for being complete delusional simp orbiters is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 05:57 PM
2

Think about the implication of the statement that it's exploitation of men to make them pay for sex with women who otherwise would not have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 05:43 PM
1

I don't think you're a misogynist for buying sex inherently. I have other moral problems with buying sex. One could argue it's systemically misogynistic when wider society is considered. But that doesn't make you as an individual a misogynist. I don't think consent is very clear cut in those scenarios. And I'm too lazy to have a conversation with redpillers about how that's infantilizing women, it's just my opinion, I'm probably not gonna respond to those arguments. You can seem misogynistic for…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 04:38 PM
1

Yeah, they should just be able to rape who they want. What a cruel society we live in. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 04:28 PM
1

The data is bad on it nowadays compared to legalization, I used to be for the Norwegian/Scandinavian model until very recently. I don't know too much on the subject so I don't want to say definitely one way or the other, but I am now inclined to think fully legalizing it would be safer for all people involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 04:28 PM
1

Turning school into supervised playtime means substituting learning things that school is actually for, like reading and writing, with things you can expect children learn in the rest of their lives. Why do we have things like PE? School is not just for reading and writing. If you really need to structure all of that time into classes instead of letting children learn naturally because you believe the structure is so crucial, I don't think that's ideal, but it's better than insisting on them sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:00 PM
2

If you're curious about your own IQ, Mensa does pretty cheap testing in my country, maybe look up if it's also available where you're at. I literally paid $7, though it might be pricier in less backwater countries lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:08 AM
1

This isn't what school is for. Why not? It's one of the primary sources of socialization for a lot of children and playing helps you learn to cooperate, communicate, set boundaries, conform to social norms, get to know different types of people, learn about other's circumstances & lives. It also gives them a lot of intuitive understanding of things like physics, game theory, probability. It helps develop hand-eye coordination and develop positive associations with movement and exercise. All of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:02 AM
2

They have 45 minute lunch breaks which can be used for recess when one finishes eating, they do 15 minutes of joint classroom cleaning after that, and they also have 150min of PE a week. If we assume most kids take 15 minutes off their lunch break for play, that's 5h of physical activity per week. It's not much, but it's actually more than many American schools give. They're just more likely to have that time structured and organized, like joint cleaning or exercise or whatever, it's not officia…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:48 AM
2

I'm a programmer with a Bachelor's in CS and it absolutely is not. Not by any stretch of the imagination. You need to be very intelligent for all three professions, but you definitely need way more effort to become a lawyer or a doctor. It's easy by comparison to become a nurse (depending on the country and required education), but you changed that from what person you were replying to said, namely (as doctors).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:31 AM
1

Tbh I think women are just more adaptable because of agreeableness, but I think we'd also learn way better in the sort of environment you're proposing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:22 AM
1

Average IQ of a Bachelor's degree holder is around 115 (Wechsler). I don't know about the full range, but the claim that 90-110 is ideal for college is unlikely, it's probably a standard deviation higher than that at least. I think there are many reasons women outperform men in college. Educaitonal systems around the world suck and as the more agreeable gender women are more likely to put up with it. I've met so many women who have been effectively institutionalized by schooling and only a handf…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:10 AM
1

Why is anglosphere = West in your post, don't people generally consider northern & western Europe a part of the West? And I think cultural norms play a role, as a non-Western person here I'm not always sure whether my experiences are applicable to what others are seeing, and I'm certain they don't have some of the experiences that I do. But I don't think it's the biggest factor. Factors I think have a greater weight than culture when predicting someone's BP/RP alignment: socio-economic class gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 11:41 PM
3

Do you mean if he isn't interested in a platonic friendship with me personally because he wants more, or do you mean he doesn't want to be friends with women in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 08:35 AM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 12:08 AM
1

If your partner and you don't align on how many children you want, then that's between the two of you. If you get sterilized, they're free to leave you if they're not ok with that. They're not free to force you to remain fertile against your will. Screening for maturity and a sound mind is good and desirable, though I'm not sure what's a safe way to perform it. Safe in the sense that it eliminates examiner bias bc this is a sensitive social issue many have personal opinions on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 12:06 AM
1

No problem, she'll divorce him for you if you're better anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:40 PM
2

Depends on the circumstances. If you have small kids and they're not in kindergarten / preschool / school, caring for them is 24/7 work as you said. The woman should take care of the kids and whatever chores she can while man is at work and commuting, and the rest should be split 50/50. They both need rest after a long day. Weekends should be 50/50. But if kids aren't home for a significant portion of the day, then the wife should do most/all chores while they're away. There usually aren't that …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 08:41 AM
1

Sure, I'm not American so I don't know about your dating culture, but that makes sense. However, that does not negate the fact that the man in that scenario lied about them being in a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 10:24 PM
2

I'm 5'11", I've only dated men shorter than me (5'7"-5'10"), but I don't feel like I've ever had trouble dating. I would say it's mostly not the men I'm dating, but other people, who comment on the height difference or ask about it. Men I date occasionally throw/threw a jokey comment when I show up in platforms (which I unfortunately love), but it always felt good-spirited, not demeaning or passive-aggressive. I don't know who is worse in terms of height stuff, I find it super-weird how concerne…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 10:19 PM
6

Then you were never in a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:56 PM
3

These terminally online nonesense takes that none of you would ever believe if you actually had real life relationships of any kind are starting to get tiring. OP, you're not a psychopath and would not actually leave a loved one when they got sick. Stop defining all of this complex rules of dating and then analyzing them as if they were laws of physics until you get to conclusions that in no way align with who you actually are and how you would behave in the real world, they just make sense in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:46 PM
4

You don't usually break up actual committed relationships by ghosting after sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:34 PM
1

Yep, it's a human being from conception for sure. People can dispute personhood, whether it's an individual (as a zygote/blastocell when it can still separate into twins), whether it deserves protection & human rights etc, but it's asinine to deny that it's a human, I don't know what other species would it be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:16 PM
1

Yeah, I know newborns can't recognize themselves in the mirror. I don't mean that, I just don't know what I mean, I genuinely don't know what I mean. We sort of have some intuition about it, but I'm not sure how to precisely define it. I guess a sense of the light being on, of you not just executing a script, but existing and perceiving yourself do that, not in a self-aware sense, but like animals do, they still have feelings and sensations and dreams and decisions, they just don't verbalize the…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:34 PM
3

I am just giving you feedback on your communication skills, take it or leave it if you don't think it's useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:21 PM
5

I also feel like you completely strawmanned and caricatured BP. If you can't state your opponent's position in a way where they would agree with your restatement of what they think, you probably don't understand what they think well enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 11:42 AM
1

No, I might have mistakenly used fetus as a catchall term because I'm too lazy to write zygote/embryo/fetus every time. Check out my response to the other comment for more of an explanation of what I believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 11:24 AM
1

Can you give me more data on that? I know that some significant brain-development happens in that period, for example fetuses get nocioceptors (pain receptors) at 12 weeks, but they don't experience pain until around 20 weeks the way we do because they just aren't wired to trigger the same responses in the brain. But consciousness always confused me. I don't even know how it's defined. I guess I would first need a precise definition of consciousness, I think that's where I bug out. Because peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 11:20 AM
3

I'm not against contraceptives or morning-after pills. I would even tax-fund them to lower the amount of abortions and STDs. As for when it becomes immoral, I think it becomes immoral after the fetus becomes conscious, but I don't know when that is and I don't think we should gamble with it until we know for sure. So I would say no abortions at all for non-medical reasons until someone can define what consciousness is and conclusively prove when it begins. Intuitively, I don't feel too much empa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:43 AM
11

Yeah. I don't know many pro-life people irl, but those I do know don't seem to have the corresponding responsibility all the time. I know pro-life men who're with pro-choice women who don't want children yet, which is a recipe for disaster if an accident happens. It's a bit easier to enforce a pro-life stance as a woman because the choice is yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:12 AM
–

NTA. I'm sorry, that's very sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:57 AM
21

I'm pro-life, so that's why. But for that reason I don't sleep around, every man I sleep with knows I'm pro-life beforehand, and I know about whether he wants kids and how would he feel if I kept it. I've only had penetrative sex in two serious LTR. I've had family who would help when I was younger and rn I could even afford a child on my own if needed. It's still a risk when we don't want a child right now, but it's a risk I'm willing to take to have a sexually fulfilling relationship. I unders…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:51 AM
–

Again - people can change what they do in the bedroom People have the libidos that they have. There's some fluctuation and alteration possible if you work on your sex life, it is reasonably flexible/malleable, but you can't change to having sex every day if you'd rather have it much more rarely unless you force yourself to even when you don't want to, which is not psychologically healthy and borders on non-consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:11 AM
–

Women and men need to suck corporative d\ck because I suck it too, and if you don't do it you are dumb.* I did not say dumb, I said sheltered. Being a full-time parent is a wonderful job and I think it's needed and I think we outsource a lot of key things like that in our societies and I don't think that's good. But the fact of the matter is that most people can't afford to live on one income. What I'm trying to say is that when you say this: Men are the ones expected to provide stuff to a relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 04:27 PM
–

Women need to contribute financially to a relationship and if you don't think so you live a very sheltered existence. Your anecdote about a particular woman's stupidity is weird and unnecessary and seems to be intended to imply something more generalized, even though you disavow generalizations later on, I just don't understand why would you include if it didn't shape your thinking in some way. If you're an intelligent person, you likely enjoy the company of other intelligent people more. You ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:40 PM
6

why should one be putting more money than the other in a shared home?? You don't have to if you don't want to, start dating women who earn the same or lower your living standard to match your partner's earnings. If women raise their standards, as they're starting to with men's contributions to the household upkeep and parenting, you going "but what about my higher income!!" does nothing. Raise your own standards for income if you care about that, or date only women who agree with your values of …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:26 PM
2

This is for marriage only, not all relationships, but I think it's a good measure. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:47 AM
1

Thank you for breaking this all down so well!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:34 PM
5

I am the table
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:17 PM
2

Sure, I just mean it might even out by reproductive age already
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 06:10 PM
1

I also know many women and not many of them have dated men above 5 year age gap. Sometimes they did fuck them tho, but almost never had a relationship. I can really think only of 2 exceptions I know of out of women around my age, and both of those were kind of a fucked up dynamic, are now broken up, and were first and only large age gap relationships for those women. So anecdote to anecdote, we have proved nothing lol. Why do you think women changed towards you in your personal case?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:39 PM
2

I want kids, so not wanting them would be a deal-breaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 09:58 AM
6

Infant mortality rate is higher for boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:12 AM
2

Being in an FWB didn't count as being single I think. You could only have ONS and hookups, and still be single. Yeah, yeah, I meant 20% are gay or within a couple of years of men in their early 30s, and another few precent are not single because of fwb situations that men might not have as much of. That's what I was trying to show because the comment I was replying to said that women generally dont go for older men. Oh ok, I agree they tend to go for older, on average the man is 2-3 years older …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:09 AM
3

Assuming women who're 20, 21, 22, etc. are equally distributed, about 30% of women in their 20s will be 27-29. They may be dating in the usual age gap of like 3 years and dating men 30-33 (I'm not disputing women tend to date older and men younger, but it's within a couple of years, not man in his 30s with a woman in her early 20s, when RP claims they both peak and should match up). Not all of them will be dating and not all of them will be dating 3 years older or men at all, so let's napkin mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 07:59 AM
2

Unexpected Jordan Peterson
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 12:31 AM
2

I don't know about people in general, but personally, depends on what your intentions are. If you want a friend and are entirely okay with having a friend and plan to treat her as a friend, not simp for her, but you just also happen to like her as more in case she's interested, then I think being friends is fine. If you don't want to be her friend for any other reason than building up to romance, if you would stop being friends after a rejection, if your friendship is more like orbiting behavior…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 12:30 AM
0

It's true that women tend to depend more on community work than hiring professionals when they want to outsource a problem compared to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 07:29 PM
2

Sure, I did notice you mentioning consent, but I'm not talking about lack of consent necessarily. Maybe inability to consent. For instance, little boys may be socialized from a very young age not to express emotions other than happiness, amusement, and anger, pretty much. They may get negative responses from people when they do or explicit lessons about not doing it. By the time they're adults, a lot of them will assume a masculine role of being stoic and supporting people through times of crisi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 04:10 PM
6

If we analyze this at a societal level, everyone treating women in this manner is infantilizing. Not in the sense that you're treating them like infants undeservedly, but in the sense that you're causing them to be blind to a lot of how the world actually is by shielding them from it. Any individual relationship where that's consensual is fine, but as a woman growing up in society that blanket does that to you all the time based on your gender, you're denied many opportunities for maturation and…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:31 PM
4

Abstinence does not work as advice anymore since we're getting married at way older ages and for much different reasons than we did at the time when it somewhat worked. And even back then people weren't really abstinent, just married early enough or if they knocked an unwed girl up it was customary to marry her. So it's never really worked. We can and should talk about the consequences of sex, but I think focus should be on contraception since it's more likely to work than abstinence for most mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:42 PM
5

but comes with the added bonus of getting to keep( at least) half his stuff. half of their joint assets
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 03:49 PM
1

I wasn't sure, but I looked it up now and it is actually the norm. However, studies have shown that physical evidence of penetration is generally lacking in most reported cases of initial consensual or nonconsensual sexual intercourse [26], even among prepubertal girls. In postpubertal women, or at the beginning of their sexual life, the hymen may stretch, allowing vaginal penetration with minimal or no injury. Only a small portion of these women will exhibit changes in the hymen indicative of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:20 AM
5

Not only can it be torn in various ways, you can also have sex and not tear it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:37 PM
2

I meant more like first date with a stranger or first couple of dates, not for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:55 PM
1

I thought I was medium libido and responsive sex drive based on my previous relationships. With my current partner, I realized I was just bad at recognizing my own horniness because I sort of repressed it and subconsciously signaled interest to get the man to initiate and avoid rejection. He kept pointing it out whenever I did it until I learned to recognize it myself. I now realize I have a much higher libido than him and it's not only responsive at all. And when it comes to responsive, I'm rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:35 AM
4

There's also stalking, violence, rape and murder, but he can do all this to you even if you just date him without sex. You generally date in public, but you have sex in private. Not having other people around absolutely makes you more vulnerable. This is one of the reasons dating apps suck for women. I never had many fears because I always dated through my social circles, which meant that a lot of my friends approved of this person or that I already knew the person well. But if I were to meet so…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:24 AM
4

Probably somewhere between 2 and 3" is the minimum for it to not affect how it feels that much, since G spot is about 2" inside. Although I'm not sure, I've never had shorter than that I think, so Idk how it feels. Tbh I'd rather people not have dicks too long, I once ended up with a bruised cervix. I know men who have been rejected for their dicks being too long/thick or forced by their gfs to not go all the way in.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 09:35 AM
59

Both can revoke consent at any time. Both are assholes if they were already planning to not follow through at the point of promising or implying a promise. If they didn't plan to and just change their minds, they're both probably not assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:32 PM
1

But aren't ALL women going after top 20% according to redpillers? What happened go that now?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:19 AM
2

So sort of like dating, but adds info that they've already fucked?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:08 AM
1

What is a situationship? I keep running into that word and I tried googling and I'm still confused. I feel like zoomers are trying too hard not to label things as relationships, even when it quacks like a duck.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:07 AM
10

From a purely evil opportunistic perspective, that type of guy is perfect LTR material. You get to invest into him in the early days and he feels like you value him even without the money and like you've built something together. He's grateful to you and appreciates it forever and thinks you're not shallow. The fact that you went through med school proves this isn't just some pipe dream pOteNtiAl type of thing, but a very safe investment actually. But fr lol, yeah that's fine. I personally might…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:00 AM
5

Woman. I love facial hair, but not all men can grow a good beard. But it's probably one of the things I find the most attractive physically when they're able to grow a cool looking beard.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 09:41 PM
22

There is nothing wrong with wanting a feminine women or any type of women you desire in particular. It only becomes wrong when you say that all women should be like that because that's what you like or that women who aren't like that are somehow bad. "she's kinda masculine, not my type" ok "she's kinda masculine, no men would want that, why don't women realize they should own more kawaii plushies" not ok
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 04:34 PM
2

Added to my reading list! He seems to have written a couple books I'd be curious about. Mothers and Others by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy is another book in sort of a similar vein. It's more about the evolution of empathy, but it talks a lot about gender relations and family relations. It's also anthropological, there's a lot of ape discussion, but also a lot of hunter-gatherer society analysis.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:43 AM
4

They said alpha female dominates in bonobo troops, not chimp.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:35 AM
1

Sub men literally have it the worst, F & gl
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 01:56 AM
1

Learn about assertive communication (google it). Make sure you're setting your own boundaries and other people don't feel like they have to set them for you. Check out the wheel of emotions and/or start journaling. Get in touch with what you yourself really desire and pursue that. You're likely somewhat unaware of it because you repress it in order to serve others. Do things that are in the interest of those desires of yours, even if they go against your loved ones interests sometimes. Don't fuc…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 08:53 PM
15

My first boyfriend back in high school I remember noticing that whenever somebody new came into our group of friends he would go out of his way to try to include them in the conversation, prod them to speak, ask questions about their lives, change topics to something they were interested in. I thought that was very considerate and socially intelligent and it made me start thinking about him romantically. Second bf was just very charismatic, he was well-spoken, smart, loud, funny, bantery, just f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 08:34 PM
2

I don't think I'd even be with any guy who was nominally redpilled, let alone seriously believed all of this stuff. He can be my dream guy in every other way, looks, personality, compatibility, everything, I don't care, if he views women the way redpillers do then that means he views ME in that way and I don't want to be with someone who sees me in that way because that's not how I see myself. Not that my partner has to agree a 100% with me about who I am and how I act, there can be productive c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:44 PM
2

Of the men that are in my circles in life, I find a lot of them a bit attractive, around 1/3. Most others are just NPCs. Very very rarely do I find them to be repulsive. I usually have a major crush or serious attraction, serious feelings, for only one man at a time, but I will still notice people I also find attractive on some level. That being said, I think I live in a bit of a bubble. I don't know if the average man I interact with is anywhere close to the average man. As in, most of them are…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:38 PM
1

I'm not sure I understand. Is journaling about the relationship crossing the same boundary? Assuming they're not hiding the fact that they're journaling I think it's more of a difference of intention. If you're journaling, you're trying to process your own thoughts and emotions, figure out are you satisfied, what you want, what you don't want, it's self-reflective basically. You can journal about the relationship in the sense of trying to reflect on the relationship. On the other hand, collectin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 09:44 PM
1

What if your significant other has a journal in which, among other things, they have entries about you and the relationship - Would you feel that that crosses the same boundary? I don't know exactly what's bothering me, but I think it's something like this. Improvement of themselves is their thing and if they want to journal to help themselves do that, that's okay. But improvement of the relationship is a joint matter and should be tackled together. Collecting data on it is not a usual and expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 07:49 AM
2

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 07:40 AM
1

Technically not. Data is just data, how you're using it can be immoral, but not the data itself. The only thing I can think of with regards to data collection itself that could be a bit questionable is whether your partner knows about it. I don't think it's really ethical to track things without consent this maticulously, I don't exactly know why, but it crosses some boundary in terms of transparency and honesty. It's weird at first to see the idea, but tbh personally I would be open to some of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 11:59 PM
3

I'm sure it did, I don't know. I don't see malevolence everywhere or anything like that, I can even be a bit naive sometimes, I usually give people benefit of the doubt when it comes to their intentions. But I am aware people are capable of vile stuff. Nowadays I live in a bubble quite a bit, so I think the fact that I went through all that at least helps me see a bit of a wider picture of society than I would've otherwise / humanizes some people for me. Heh, I guess it may have made me see less…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 08:08 PM
2

I would not date a man I did not find attractive at all. If you mean conventionally unattractive, but attractive to me personally, that's another thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 07:11 PM
4

In my elementary school we had one guy whose both parents were alcoholics and his older brother got beat up by metal chains by them once, he spent all day hanging out on the street to avoid going home. He was the chief bully's underdog so he wouldn't get picked on at school too. We had an overweight girl whose father referred to her as a pig who stuffs her face into the fridge when she gets a bad grade in parent-teacher meeting in front of the parents of the whole class. I even hit a few people,…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 07:08 PM
7

What type of school did you go to that gang leaders and general violence was the norm? What type of school did you go to that this is unheard of? To be fair, I don't live in the West, but as far as I know bullying is rampant and getting worse even.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 06:09 PM
6

I think that's completely dumb. Everyone is skinny and flabby until they get in shape, nobody was born with abs and muscles. Some people will get a bit more muscle during puberty depending on T levels, but like a 100% of muscular men I know have trained at some point in their youth or are still training, built that muscle, and it simply doesn't take too much effort to maintain. Everyone is awkward until they aren't. We go through decades of socialization until we learn to communicate effectively…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 06:02 PM
3

This is somewhat true. Like, y'all definitely need to admit that there are some men who just don't give a fuck, it's okay if you're not one of them, but they're out there. But also, women need to take a bit of ownership of the fact that they're passive af regarding communication related to and during sex and addled with shame and insecurity stopping them from relaxing and enjoying it. Like, a man is insecure because he thinks he needs to perform a certain way or impress a woman or whatever and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 05:47 PM
1

Tfw crazy radfems say women don't enjoy sex, all "PIV" (penis in vagina) sex is rape, women have been brainwashed to think they enjoy it. Then redpillers come and say the same. Horseshoe theory go brrr
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 05:30 PM
19

No, I can't say I have seen this, no. The problem is that women have many competing desires in their partner: competence and success good mental health plenty of free time to spend with her (and in the future their children, on family-tasks, etc.) independence These can very much clash. The amount of effort required to be really really successful often means that pursuing that will attract people who're perfectionistic, obsessive, have unhealthy cravings for approval and attention, etc. aka ment…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 05:24 PM
3

I don't know what it is with bald men, but y'all are definitely hot af. I don't think age is a factor, I've found young bald men hot as well. I think your difference in success might just have to do with the changing culture, hooking up 20 years ago and nowadays are quite different. I mean, I am too young to know, but at the very least it was almost exclusively irl as opposed to on bumble or wherever you are now, so you needed a different social skillet to attract people. People were also way mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 01:11 AM
3

It is entirely pointless for you to make a definitive decision on what you plan to do for the rest of your life at your age. Or at any age really, but especially at yours. I bet you'll feel differently by that time, and even if you don't you can just decide not to date at that point, no use thinking about it now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 12:54 AM
–

I don't understand how do you draw an equivalency between these two things. When a young woman says she's "not ready to settle" it doesn't mean she hasn't explored all of her options, it means she's not ready to settle. Maybe she's been with a certain partner for a long time in her formative years and she's not sure who she is without him and needs to spend time with herself exploring her own interests and beliefs. Maybe she needs a variety of relationships and experiences to get a broader persp…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 12:48 PM
1

Maybe, Idk. The way I understood it is they're cognitively able to grasp concepts they're not yet emotionally equipped to deal with, which produces distress.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 11:16 PM
3

From what I've read that's a myth, for example look at this metaanalysis: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886920306942 Gifted people tend to be very empathic. It's just that they have a lot of unique emotional struggles, especially growing up. They tend to be very sensitive / emotionally overexcitable, if they're not in special programs or otherwise gifted circles they tend to not be that well socialized, they have what is called asynchrony which is the ability to cogn…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 10:13 PM
1

Haha I love how enthusiastic you are. I'm not an expert, but I have lived it so I get it. There was a bit of danger of projection, but it seems I hit the mark, so we'll pretend I was just entirely clever. :P I also read this book called Giftedness 101 recently and it was genuinely eye-opening and very validating, I think you might enjoy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 09:50 PM
5

The thing is, I do think you thought you were superior. I can see that you no longer think that, but it sounds like you did back then is what I'm trying to say. It's really common with gifted kids who aren't given adequate support systems, equally intelligent peers, and challenging environments. They're constantly awarded and praised for their intelligence, they tend to be above their age cognitively and have a better grasp of complex life questions and long-term priorities, but they still have …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:21 PM
7

A given person can be incredibly adept in one area of intelligence and incredibly weak in another area. This is often an indication of an underlying cognitive or sensory disability btw, as you mention later in the post with autism. In a typical person, most intelligences correlate with g.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:10 PM
3

I never thought I was superior, it's just that I thought dating during high school was stupid and primitive and my classmates happened to be dating in high school, two entirely unrelated factoids about my school life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:02 PM
1

Ah, I see. I'm not sure about that either, but that may be right. You can definitely love them, but more like a friend / family member / long term partner where the spark has sort of died out but you're deeply attached. There are also people who're homosexual, but biromantic, that might be quite common in those who successfully repress homosexuality for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 09:34 AM
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