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Mescalito_1 Archive

View 0 posts and 33 comments by Mescalito_1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

It feels prosperous. Very prosperous.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/20 04:22 PM
9

In my experience....her distrust of you is likely misplaced distrust of herself. My exW accused me of cheating and was distrustful of me while she cheated. FWIW - I was faithful. Second, marriage counseling is worthless and a waste of money in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/20 04:15 PM
1

Cheers to you and all of us here for each other as we pursue a better life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/20 01:13 PM
2

Hate to agree but this or something similar is the answer. Having a problem (e.g., drinking) is one thing but not pursuing help when confronted is the real problem. She needs to find her bottom. You need to protect yourself, kids, and assets.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/20 01:10 PM
1

Hang in there brother!
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/20 01:07 PM
3

Not four but one dog and the same scenario- she thought a dog would make her happy so we got one. I dig the dog but, like you, 100% focused on me and my kids (50/50). If her new place is imminent then I'd wait and drop off the dogs and a nice bag of food when she moves in.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/20 09:48 PM
2

You have it mixed up. Being a great father while going through the process is the point. The energy isnt spent on your ex, but on you and your children. Where to find energy savings when dealing with stbxw? First rule is to shut up. Literally one word answers if any spoken words. Second rule shut up some more. Third rule is to not give a sh!t about anything she says or does. Work the divorce process because that's what it is - a process.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/20 09:41 PM
1

Classic. Cycles are the key here not frequency. The relationship will take the course you set, she's obviously along for the ride. So, chart a course - call her bluff, file, call the question. Otherwise you and your children live in her cycles. Lead your family toward a conclusion. Ya, if you divorce you'll pay but that is a small price for sanity and reclaiming yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/20 09:28 PM
2

Your story is my story is nearly every man's story going through a divorce. Hold your head high and continue to be a good man, father, and member of your community. By now you know which "friends" are real so deepen time and experiences with them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/20 01:24 PM
2

Pour your time into yourself. Filling the emptiness with another relationship is no recipe for success. Put every spare moment into building yourself, be the best apprentice the world has know, rekindle an old hobby, get in the best shape of your life, lift heavy things. All for you, nobody else. Don't think just start.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/20 09:46 PM
2

This is the key. I moved out but if she even raised an eyebrow at an item (bbq) I left it. It has been fantastic starting over with all this stuff in the color it style I want.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/20 09:27 PM
1

Personally, everything turned easy when I saw compromises as the premium for my sanity, health, and well-being.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/20 09:16 PM
2

Mental fog is real and tough to clear. A little thing...but a big thing...abandon the use of "may" "think I'll" "trying". Help yourself by being concrete, in self talk, text, even reddit. You will get on the other side of this and be a better man for it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 10:33 PM
1

Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 09:46 PM
2

Serve her. Why are you letting her continue the pattern of maltreatment. You just go along to get along? She is playing a long con while you wait for it to unfold. You have legal right to the profit from the house and a bunch else. Go to a lawyer and serve her papers. Get some control back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 09:45 PM
1

No. My experience and my divorced friends tends toward keeping life uncomplicated by a GF for a long time. I just ended my relationships because I was falling back into old habits that are unhealthy. Don't know I'd notice if I jumped into a relationship sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 09:38 PM
6

Thanks for sharing your story. I assume you're not considering returning to your STBXW. Time is the answer. It takes time and even after much time passes it's ok to still care for a person with which you've shared a lot of your life with. I still care about my ex, as a person, a mom to our kids... but that also means I maintain healthy boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/20 01:22 AM
6

Yes. I'm no psych but this flag and a host of others boil down to personal accountability/maturity, or lack of. And, I see it everywhere now that my eyes are open to it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/20 11:01 PM
1

First, she moved out. Awesome. Second, she moved back in. Not awesome. Third, I moved into a townhome. Worked for me and my kids but was not me. Fourth, I said f-this and moved into a house (now home). My kids love it, same district, .5 miles from STBXW. Now, I had to stall my contributions to retirement in order to make it work. Bad idea? I don't think so. And this time apart will count toward alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/20 10:57 PM
3

Freedom to me is living my life according to your own expectations as a man and father. Be well.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/20 09:38 PM
7

Good call coming here vs engaging with her. Hang in there. Ahhhhhh, it is so easy to apply expectations to everyone but yourself. Brother, you're not alone. Our STBXWs are petulant children, w/ no idea of the load upon our shoulders that we haul every day. And, no clue that we are smart enough to see through their bs. For my own well being I decided to no longer give any sh!ts about her. In addition to my sanity my obvious non-rxn drove her nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/20 09:15 PM
1

Way to go. Now be careful. Really careful when she confronts you and any interaction. As they say, STFU and STFU some more. Assume anything you say or do will be used against you. Heck, things you said or did will likely be fabricated. Keep you phone close and hit record. The new dawn of your life is just around the bend.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/20 01:01 AM
3

My 2 cents. Focus on yourself. Earn. Build. Be productive. Exercise. Do what you want when you want. Pay for sex if you have an itch.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/20 12:55 AM
3

My process of reclaiming myself has been incredibly difficult and meaningful. To be a man is something.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:51 PM
1

You will see and in the process be careful. Lots of women out there, many of them are available for the same reason our ex's are available. In my exp, most only have what's between their legs and bring no value to the table. Gosh, I wish I had 4 hours with my 20yr old self.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:41 PM
2

Mine too. Absolute neck turner. And, massive self esteem issues, lack of maturity, and a portfolio of deep issues where her spirit will never be at peace. Behind the natural beauty is true darkness that I would turn myself inside-out to light. I have high standards today that include looks and stable mental health! Good news is that I'm "high value" according to my women friends. Not that I give 2 shits bc I plan to do my own thing and keep some FWB.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:04 PM
4

You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 04:33 PM
11

Don't even try to block him/her, let her go. Be done. Find a healthy outlet for the inner anger and energy but show indifference outward. This is the end of one chapter, close the book. Be out of the apartment, make sure you get all the keys, and move fwd at a pace that works for you. Hell, I'd be grateful someone else is doing the moving.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 04:08 PM
8

No problem. Just use the self serve automated phone service. Press 1 if you and ex agree to the terms or press 2 to schedule a phone conference with the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 10:56 PM
1

Here to learn. I'm interested to get outside my network...i've had a few friends approach me and ask if I'm dating but it felt odd, too proximal.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 10:46 PM
7

That made me laugh. Congrats reaching the end of the process.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 10:27 PM
1

Yes. As you progress you'll need full value of assets in order to negotiate. In my case, my pension's value will be established based on the scenarios outlined in the pension document. Say, her share value is 550k. Then I can use her share (i.e. 550k) to address other assets like IRAs. In your case her pension may be worth 800k. You can use your share of her pension to offset your 401k. You keep yours and she keeps hers. You may get yours plus a little of hers. Fair is fair.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/20 07:23 PM
1

I just ordered a divorce specific "estimate" from my public pension. Your wife can too or the courts will require it. The estimate provides a number of options to settle out the pension and will be used as we mediate a joint settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/20 06:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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