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Midnight-writer-B Archive

View 0 posts and 246 comments by Midnight-writer-B on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

The age of fathers also impacts fetal health. The risk of waiting until your late 30’s or 40’s isn’t all on the mother, and fathers can’t mitigate their contribution to that risk by marrying much younger women. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7006092/#abstract-1title This is an economic and social issue. Women and men are taking longer to be financially stable enough to become parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 03:51 AM
1

If there weren’t issues with genetic privacy, and medical insurance denying coverage for preexisting conditions, gathering a newborn dna database would be less fraught with dystopian possibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 03:47 PM
1

You are eloquent and clear. I already agreed with all of that, but I’ve never seen it expressed so well. It sucks that it’s so difficult to find love and companionship in this society at this time. It sucks that it’s disproportionately harder for men. But all of the “solutions” are far worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:17 PM
1

You are eloquent and clear. I already agreed with all of that, but I’ve never seen it expressed so well. It sucks that it’s so difficult to find love and companionship in this society at this time. It sucks that it’s disproportionately harder for men. But all of the “solutions” are far worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 07:36 PM
21

Of the lower divorce rates in college educated couples, I’d believe that 90% of the time divorce paperwork is filed by the wife, which is what counts as initiation.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 08:20 PM
2

The normal guys who know about boundaries, propriety, and manners are much less visible.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 06:19 PM
1

I do understand your point. I shouldn’t do sloppy research. I have a BS in biochemistry but I’m distracted this evening. I wish I had more time to google properly. I agree with you that these studies are not carefully controlled for a single variable. Because people who have babies together aren’t doing so to fit into experimental protocols. I do think there is more than enough evidence of sperm quality decreasing with age. I’ll try to find a study with women of identical age (35, say) having ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 02:14 AM
2

https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/ask157 There is gene sequencing technology available. Scientists know for a fact where the genetic anomalies are coming from. They are from both parents. Why not gripe that studies about maternal age don’t control for paternal age? People generally have babies with partners around their age. 25-35 is the prime age for good outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 02:04 AM
2

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2566050/#abstract-1title 3x the risk of DNA damage /anomaly in sperm from fathers aged 36-67 vs under 35. The age of both parents is a factor. Why would DNA damage be limited to one parent?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 12:16 AM
5

The quality of sperm decreases throughout the 30’s, 40’s and beyond, and contributes to genetic defects. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/05/190513081409.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:58 PM
5

From your own middle link about who is stifling women’s sexuality: “Interestingly, Rudman et al. (2013) found support for the hypothesis that men are actually more instrumental in repressing women's sexual expressions than women are, contradicting Baumeister and Twenge's (2002) earlier conclusion that women are more culpable than men for suppressing women's sexual expressions.” Since the middle link said the opposite of what you summarize right in the abstract, I’m interested to see what else pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 11:55 PM
1

I think it’s interesting when libido levels gets defined in a vacuum - without measures of the satisfaction/ quality of sex on offer and the particulars of the relationship. If we are talking spontaneous arousal, men’s bell curve is likely ahead of women’s. But in a relationship with someone she likes, who’s open to feedback, with some skills? Unleash the kraken. Many women outpace their partners in these situations. And it turns out fine if the communication is good, and no one is internalizing…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 08:42 PM
1

I like your prose. “Growing into a man who doesn’t waste his life on gender debate forums” is a good goal. Having sisters & girls as actual friends helps to see girls/ women as full people instead of NPCs. Going outside and having active hobbies helps you have healthier dopamine sources. Having self discipline and a growth mindset helps. Reading & watching a variety of things helps with humor, intelligence, conversation. Participating in society live instead of on the internet teaches you good s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 07:32 PM
10

I introduce to you a radical concept - time zones.
/r/seduction22/04/22 02:25 PM
5

This is absolutely true once the kids are in school. But with a couple of small children it can absolutely look like you did nothing when you did a lot. Plus the sensory overload is no joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 04:09 PM
2

If the intention is a few months to recover, not a few years, the childcare situation needs to be less expensive and more reliable than a SAHM. Plus, in the scenario where you have multiple kids this pushes back the timeline. I do agree with you though that there should be an expectation of domestic effort. And some mutual gratitude that both of you are doing difficult and important tasks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 04:07 PM
3

That’s the age that the vilest, rudest men target to harass and cat call. They are going for shock value and feeling powerful by making someone uncomfortable. I think as girls / women get older we are more likely to ignore and / or call out this behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 09:17 PM
1

If the girls / women your age remain friends with you (while you share your thoughts from this thread at length?) you must be somewhat charismatic or have something positive to add to the friendship. Because the gist I’m getting in this post is “hot girls are too dumb and boring, and interesting girls aren’t pretty enough.” So either bring an enthusiastic and tolerable energy to new women you meet, or take a break. Because you sound very tired and/or upset that women dare to require more than “s…
/r/seduction12/04/22 03:25 AM
1

My friend, speak with a real live woman about what she’d think of a note via laundry. The note is fine. On the door. Fine. In the mailbox. Fine. On the stoop with a bottle of wine or baked goods? “Here’s my number, let me know if you’d like to enjoy these together.” Smooth In her laundry near the underpants? Not fine. Women can get concerned when a man don’t know about / respect certain social norms & he lives nearby.
/r/seduction09/04/22 05:58 PM
2

I get wanting to live in ignorant bliss. Knowing it happened, it’s likely low-ish because of how you both are and/or meeting young, but not wanting to let any details into your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 09:23 PM
2

No, I am full of virtually endless possibilities. We all are. We are absolutely not broken men. This analogy was meant to agree and celebrate women’s sexuality btw. I wish it was more well accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 05:32 PM
3

How maddening do you think it is for the person chasing their elusive O. It helps so much if both partners are patient, exploratory and good-natured, not judgmental and frustrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 03:56 PM
1

It’s the female equivalent of delayed ejaculation, not erectile dysfunction. When male DE happens, their partners do blame themselves or try to help. And “good” in bed can and does refer to both good undirected skills and being open to feedback.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 03:51 PM
3

Oh, how we’d love to be able to plug you directly into our brains instead of having mere words to express complex matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 03:46 PM
6

Women have complex equipment with a lot of potential but takes more experimenting to master. It’s like women get a a manual Italian espresso setup and men get a Keurig. Source - am woman. It took decades to dial in some things and am still getting better.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 03:44 PM
3

Mind ready before body or vice versa. Arousal non concordance.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 03:43 PM
2

You’re right, dating and companionship is important. So the banana test analogy may be better - scratch and approach with caution but still get your banana fix. I think a lot of women feel safer interacting with men they have known longer or meet in real life - family friends, men who go to the same school, or from hobbies / clubs. The increase of bisexuality in women is interesting. Who knows if it’s increasing or just increasingly accepted and self-reported.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 09:11 PM
1

If someone dangerous knows you’re expected home and knows someone has all of his information, he may be more wary of hurting you knowing he’ll be caught.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 05:39 PM
17

If 1/1000 bananas would poison you and put you in hospital it would be rational to avoid them, albeit unfair to 999/1000 bananas. Especially if they looked similar. If there was a banana toxicity test that scratched up the banana skin, the test would still be considered a good idea, not an irrational vandalism of 99.9% of safe bananas. And one big problem with your “men attack significant others and domestic partners more than strangers” statistic is opportunity. Violent men can act calm and rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 04:28 PM
11

Yup. I see a lot of gents getting really caught up in arguments and theory here. If they used that typing time doing planks and push-ups, etc. it would be better spent.
/r/seduction27/03/22 01:39 AM
11

OP could go after the type of women who are impressed by a recitation of pi to the 20th place and beyond…there are dozens of us.
/r/seduction24/03/22 04:56 AM
2

Gotcha. This is fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:08 PM
8

Right. But the statistic is just “men raising kids who aren’t theirs.” Does it say “men who are raising kids they believe are theirs?”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:04 PM
8

I’m in the US, and there are issues with getting birth control, especially sterilization procedures, prenatal care, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:02 PM
2

Regarding an SSN, I think it’s mandatory for tax and census reasons in a hospital. (You could sneak a home birth by if you wanted.). As far as paternity / genetic tests, parents could opt out. Default genetic panels at birth also raise questions of genetic privacy. If every baby born had a gene panel run, this information has consequences. Eventually, medical insurance is going to get even more astronomical and hard to get when providers have this information and know which diseases you’re susce…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:46 PM
11

I think the point is that politically, women are not as powerful as you assume, given the troubles we have implementing reproductive and bodily autonomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:41 PM
6

Men who are unaware that they’re raising children who aren’t theirs? Or does this include men who are knowingly raising babies by adoption fertility / sperm donors, step kids, etc.?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:39 PM
2

A difference between two adults or two teenagers is not a power difference and not as troubling. There are examples where very young women have nowhere safe to be so they take the next best option. And the man providing this option knows it and is not acting properly. Unfortunately, there are people whose parents do not show them unconditional love, give them a secure childhood, and model a respectful relationship. Some of these people are women and girls. Some men swoop in to “rescue” these typ…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 03:45 PM
–

That’s why the main advice is not to change men who love collecting casual sex conquests like Pokémon and are suspicious of marriage, but to find a man who truly cares and shares your values.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:49 AM
–

They’re not demanding anything; they’re saying here is the standard you need to reach to make me prefer dating you to dating no one.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 02:43 AM
4

We want both.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 10:02 PM
4

Your theoretical wife would be the selfish one in this thought experiment? Because she would be sad that she gets up 4 times in the night and you don’t want to hug or converse with her? Your plan was logical, albeit unlikely, before children came into it - a woman who wants nothing from you emotionally? Sure. Have at it. Someone like this who wants children and wants to do the emotional labor of raising a family completely alone?… If you don’t understand or have emotions you shouldn’t have child…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 09:36 PM
4

I changed need to want. Some people who have relationships/ have children / get married actually like each other. Not very many of these hang out on PPD. If you only want sex, awesome for you, especially if you’re honest about this. Once you bring children into this you’re being unreasonable. In my very humble opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 09:29 PM
4

Right, but there are men who can commit, fulfill their responsibilities, and provide the things on this list. If you acknowledge that most women want the things I’ve listed, you acknowledge that your search for someone who doesn’t require this will be quite a quest. It’s draining raising children with a partner giving their all for you. Why do so with someone disinterested?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 09:19 PM
4

I don’t think the right term is social validation. Humans need things in relationships. Love. Affection. Conversation. Emotional support. Laughing together. Hugs. Closeness. Conversation. Shared interests. It’s fine that you don’t. But I wonder if you’ll find a woman who will service you sexually and raise your children and expect none of these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 09:12 PM
5

Best of luck being very upfront about the arrangement finding someone who won’t be lonely in this role.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 09:06 PM
3

I agree with this assessment. There is definitely a range of sexual needs women can have. It’s difficult to know how your drive compares to others, women and men. But that achey, longing, crawling out of your skin need? It’s not just a man thing. And maybe OP would identify/ describe the topical female libido as more m denisexual than asexual?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 08:30 PM
5

Do you have any intention of interacting with, or fostering emotional connection with your child? I really don’t see how you expect this imaginary family to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 08:20 PM
1

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newsweek.com/sperm-made-scientists-could-replace-real-thing-768710%3famp=1 Have you been on a college campus or at a research lab lately? Especially in biology / genetics / embryology?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:16 PM
0

https://www.science.org/content/article/egg-fertilized-without-sperm-rev2 20 years ago this was possible. Eggs do most of the heavy lifting of embryo development. Sperm provide the other half of haploid DNA, but replacing their role is much simpler.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:07 PM
1

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/average-number-of-sexual-partners
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 02:44 PM
32

I’m sorry my friend. This is supposed to be your sunset lap after all of that mothering and now the plan has changed. Good luck finding a better plan and finding yourself again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:18 AM
20

Amen to all of that. It is very well stated. I could not manage this juggling act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:44 PM
10

Thanks my friend. It’s a bit wordy. Good luck chasing all your dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:31 PM
57

I like how there are an increasing number of women for whom the husbands are playing the supporting role.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:29 PM
80

I think we are on the same page? I thought you were saying a marriage can’t be a net gain to a woman even with a HVM. I’m saying perhaps it can, if it’s childless. A different story in that both can elevate each other (time, energy, opportunity) more than being single. Kids, on the other hand, are a joy but a net drain of time and energy and money. So absolutely, a pair of high value individuals can love and support each other through this. And children are a lifelong gift. They just impact your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 09:10 PM
105

I think there can absolutely be marriages that elevate both partners. Once kids are involved though it’s a different story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 09:02 PM
149

It’s important to tell young women what family life requires. If we had the village we need so badly (for logistics and info sharing) young women would see this firsthand and know what it’s really like. I’ve frequently wondered about making a post with a similar point. That there’s a generation of liberated and educated women who have the world at their feet, and endless possibilities. But choosing to have children takes some of those possibilities away. And the default way this sacrifices gets …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:58 PM
14

Yes, you’re right. We don’t have her babysit anymore for various reasons. Wish her the best, but it’s really important to have people with good values and judgment around our kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 03:17 AM
24

Ha! I just said this above. All of the fun work with a tangible end goal is “masculine”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:40 AM
40

I love how “man’s work” involves fixing or building something that remains in the house and gives a feeling of permanent accomplishment. (Or it’s yard work, which is great for exercise and fresh air.). As opposed to the endless, never-finished, cyclical nature of “women’s work” - groceries, cooking, dishes, cleaning, laundry... Happily, my husband likes to shop for food and cook. I like to build and fix things. So we split it that way. And split the other chores we don’t like relatively evenly. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:36 AM
7

I read this as shopping for a mom for kids that already existing? If not, it’s a way bigger leap. Whoa. Why?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:39 PM
11

Right?! It counts as flirting? (Barry White voice) Hey baby, let me tell you about all the dishes you’ll do, sleep you’ll miss, and socks you’ll pick up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:38 PM
10

Your mom is a stud. That’s spectacular. What a great role model for all of you. I bet you 4 kids had to be very independent. My challenge lately is getting my kids to be motivated and driven, especially after this past odd year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:35 PM
15

I think being comfortable and joyful and seek a high level of self-actualization, so people are drawn to you applies to men also. So, that may be the draw of Mr. “dance while I direct this car into its spot.” Women can want to be confident and free and also want to be with men who have these qualities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 06:16 AM
32

This is horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 03:46 AM
104

I am considering writing a book about this. About the beauty of seeking a mindful and sensual connection with someone. About the joy of sex while you’re in love. And the pleasure of exploring mutual pleasure with someone you respect, who attracts you and makes you feel safe. There are a few books like this but nothing that starts from the premise that lifelong attraction is a deep and nuanced goal you can have in mind from day one. I grew up Catholic and fully intended to wait until marriage. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:40 AM
15

His mom, or hers? Her mom seems more logical, but more power to that MIL if she’s the one her DIL wants in the room during birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:02 AM
4

Some people are capable of assessing quality without needing comparison. Do you need to eat horrible food to appreciate good food? Hear bad music to recognize good music? I’d say no, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:45 PM
1

And they know that the right one is you 4 hours after meeting you?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:43 PM
2

You don’t think 2 people can meet young, fall in love, be each other’s only experience, but still be sex-positive and explore and figure out what they like together?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:42 PM
12

I love learning new words. Savage. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:21 PM
2

Of course my friend. I’m so glad you’re ok. I was not saying this is your responsibility. But children + internet access = the stuff of nightmares. It is so sad how many families are dysfunctional and how all of these dirtbags are getting access to teenagers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:18 PM
2

I’m sorry my friend. That’s appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:21 PM
6

😥😥😥. Where are the parents while this crap is happening?!! If someone looked at my daughters like this I would peel his eyeballs. Hopefully one of the girlfriend’s friends or family members can get through to her eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:20 PM
15

Unfortunately, women’s parents, friends, and culture are the factors that illustrate to them what kind of life, education, and love they deserve. And there are so many hundreds of thousands of women who get trapped into this kind of life. Without an education or career or options. Without realizing how badly they’re treated, or beholden to a horrible person for their children’s shelter and food. And the cycle continues for their daughters. And it’s heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 03:52 PM
34

Once a woman’s body builds to her first orgasm, the second, third...seventh... can easily follow. Hold out for one of the guys who can conduct that kind of pleasure symphony. There are rare and wonderful men who take great pride in their craft, and there are quality men worth marrying. I fear that both circles are shrinking and the Venn diagram where they meet is getting vanishingly small. May all of you wonderful women meet someone in both circles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:34 PM
24

If poor OP had that much sense of self preservation the bedroom would be dead from her end already. He’s selfish, shallow, and I doubt he’s ever pleased her sexually, since he just got some of her best nerves cut off. Their bedroom may die because he’s about to break her so sex will be forever painful, and then he’ll justify cheating because she’s just not into it anymore. I’m so so so angry on her behalf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:25 PM
95

I doubt she’s experienced much sexual pleasure from him, ever. She met him young and no one taught her better. I’m livid. It’s tragic. He got her to cut off part of her genitals with really import nerves for her pleasure. An expensive, traumatic, unnecessary, ridiculous surgery. It’s so troubling that plastic surgery is so common when a person is obviously their partner’s sex mannequin. And she posted so casually, like he requested an ear piercing 😥. He got her mutilated and now won’t let her he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:11 PM
7

Right?! Exactly. Be the change you want to see. “I wish men were allowed to talk to each other about their feelings. Especially when they’re sad, like if their parent or pet dies.” Please, go ahead. Listen to your friends. Hold other men accountable. Raise your sons in a way that respects their feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:21 PM
109

This is spot on. Competence is sexy. Incompetence is not. Nothing is worse for libido than dependency, or begging / whining. Two things to add. -If the sex isn’t that great, women will put up with it in the dating phase and make still make time for it when they’re not terribly busy. But mediocre sex on top of caring for a household or for children?? Nope, not happening. Not remotely a priority. When sexual frequency drops, men are less likely to be physically affectionate, kind, supportive or he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:50 PM
32

I hope you don’t have to be physically in the same place. I hope you feel ready reach out to one family member / friend who can take you in and make sure you’re nourished, and get a therapy appointment. I hope you can be with someone like your mom who knows what you need - tea, soup, primal yelling, angry walk, long bath, napping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:29 PM
57

Please do not be embarrassed or ashamed. He is a deceitful subhuman. Please call your mother. She will help. She will want to peel his skin off, zest his eyeballs and burn him, but her priority will be you. Your safety and health. Please drink some water and take deep breaths and focus on being safe. You’re not alone. People love you. They will help. You won’t have to explain more than you’re ready for. Thank goodness you found out before you had children. Thank goodness you’ve been celibate / r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 07:54 PM
12

Big time screening? Personality tests? Referrals / Reviews? Allow men only to match with one woman at a time? Or only message one woman at a time?...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:54 PM
2

We do Amazon together. It’s not a hill to die on. It’s just a strange phenomenon. Also, I’m the master of many household tasks I’d rather skip because I’m a SAHM, not a world renowned expert in molecular genetics like I’d dreamed. The balance of tasks with one parent working and one not is different, IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:37 PM
2

Maybe. There are mental health things in his family and in mine. He’s self-involved and can’t maintain relationships himself. He made my mom do it, then they divorced. (His new wife of 25 years was never really in my life because I was in college and it was possible infidelity/ scandalous when they got together. In the last year I’ve started speaking to her and she’s great.). At this point I’d rather my kids expect nothing that be disappointed. 2/4 of our kids are ASD. My husband and I likely ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:35 PM
3

Exactly. This was such a mystery to me too. His family is a gift. But growing up with oodles of functional, kind, smart, funny people, maybe you take it for granted? I maintain relationships for the sake of the kids and because I enjoy it but I sometimes joke “where in our vows does it say I get Christmas presents for your mom and siblings?...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:30 PM
3

That’s another facet once you have kids. My in laws are wonderful grandparents/ uncles & aunts / cousins so it’s a joy to maintain relationships. My father has never met my 7 or 12 year old because he’s so busy (being a retired pilot and flying for free...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:27 PM
3

My poor friend. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I hope ultimately it made you stronger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:25 PM
2

My husband’s family is wonderful so I have my own relationship with them. But it’s a strange thing how quickly men expect to delegate family related duties. I accept this as a SAHM / writer / ecstatic to have family person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:24 PM
6

Working with children with these challenges is such a calling. Thanks for all you do. I’m sure it makes you hesitant to risk the full load of a child’s health and well being. If you decide to go for it though, 1- you’d be amazing. 2- good partners exist and you’ll hold out for what you and your child deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:38 AM
7

Yay, mid 40’s. That’s awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:33 AM
20

That’s sort of what happens. It’s “fresh” as in it’s made every few (weeks? I forget the maturation cycle for sperm.). But the production line gets older and damaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:32 AM
11

I’m scared with loss and theft or that the stone will pop out of one half that nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:21 AM
18

It is a lot! I concur. But she can want what she wants and he can respectfully engage, not involve her family. (Every once in a while I jokingly say I want to sell my ring and put it toward a camper van or RV trailer... much more my style. Every year my husband says “but the symbolism... the love...”. He’s a plant for DeBeers, I swear... He’s a good one though. I’m keeping him.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:20 AM
22

Woman after my own heart. Inflated rocks. Check. Exploiting miners. Check. (You’re a wholesome and thoughtful and clever person. The ring to me is not the hill to die on. But it’s the feel of his attitude in the post. Bartering. Involving family. Excited to share her money.) But you’re right, people in love should be thoughtful and generous. She’s allowed to want the kind of ring and wedding and marriage she wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:13 AM
51

She has a certain style. I personally think tasteful jewelry can be had at most any price point, and most observers couldn’t tell the difference. His attitude toward her job - woohoo! Jackpot - coupled with his cheapness about this is awful though. I had kind of an opposite situation with my husband. I hate jewelry and I have concerns about diamond practices. He’s in a high powered career and wanted me to lug around an engagement ring of a certain caliber because of people he’s expected to impre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:07 AM
161

It’s a symbol of a lifetime commitment. It gets handed down over generations. If someone loves jewelry and wants to have a certain look for the piece of jewelry they’ll wear for decades, it’s totally understandable. Say they’re married for 60 years. The ring he bartered down to (6k) costs 27 cents a day. The ring that she wants for 20k cost 91 cents a day. This is the long view.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:08 AM
280

Women are allowed to exist without striving to look attractive. Some basic knowledge of women’s cycles, hormones, etc. or at least lack of squeamishness and willingness to learn. Sex is a unifying, respectful, enjoyable experience that you share with your partner. Not do to them. Family is important to those lucky enough to grow up in a healthy one, and that he should actively maintain relationships with them (not delegate this to his significant other). Nutrition. Groceries. Meal Prep. Budgetin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:54 AM
16

Do you have a source for fertility stats over the decades? 30’s, 40’s, etc? FSH declines, egg stores decline, and hormone balance changes going into menopause. It’s absolutely not a cliff at 25 or 35 as we’ve been told but it is a downward slope. If biological motherhood is important to a woman, she should absolutely have factual information about her chances of doing so as she weighs economic, social, and biological factors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:45 AM
18

Yay, an article. I was just saying this above.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:35 AM
23

I’m sure it’s more than half of the time when there are fertility challenges in an age-mismatched couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:34 AM
18

Yes! Exactly. Knowledge is power. Children deserve to be accepted, understood and supported. 2 of our 4 are ASD girls and they’re the oldest and youngest. I know so much better the second time. I helped / intervened so much earlier when I’d had experience. I knew what to look for, what yo ask for, the magic words at the pediatrician or the IEP. It’s difficult to get your kids help even when you’re on board and educating yourself. It’s such a disservice to them to make them tough their way throug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:31 AM
27

Fertility declines a tad, but the quality of the basic genetic material stays constant. I’ll look for articles to link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:27 AM
65

It’s incredibly strange to me how little data & knowledge there is about aging sperm and birth defects. A woman is born with all of the eggs she’ll ever have, and her eggs’ genetic material is made while she’s in the womb.. Women can have gestational issues or gene transcription errors during fetal development, and the chances increase slightly as she gets older. Men, on the other hand, make sperm on demand. It’s only logical that the quality / vitality of that sperm would decline according to c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:26 AM
23

That is so passive aggressive and disrespectful. I’m so sorry. Fellow confident hairy legged woman here. I hope you regifted them right back on the spot. “You are so sweet to be concerned about me lacking the tools to remove my leg hair. I’m actually aware that these things exist. I’m sure you bought a really nice one and I’d hate it to go to waste. You enjoy, please. I’ll continue to enjoy bucking the patriarchy and using the visual cues of such to find fellow clever, thoughtful and liberated w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:12 PM
8

From her pain level I’m hoping it’s not stuck sideways and injuring her internally. She may someday want children with someone else, a non-psychopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:08 PM
37

Am I the only one who’s very concerned she may be badly injured and “next Monday” is nowhere near urgent enough? It’s not “I’m worried my IUD is misplaced”. It’s “my partner tried to pull my IUD out and I have intense pain in my side.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:07 PM
12

Point 0. - sounds like this poor woman was not just having the emotional distress of normal childbirth but physical trauma / pain / a possible medical emergency. He’s supposed to help her and calm her and be concerned. But he’s amused?!! And cruelly reminding her that her mother is gone?!! What? What horror realizing that you’ve had a child with a man like this. And to wonder if you’re overreacting when he brings it up to laugh at again?!!. I am seeing red. This excuse for a man does not deserve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:59 PM
7

I think it’s written to contrast a “compulsion” that controls you agains a “natural drive” that you can control. Maybe also to highlight that as a natural drive, it’s subject to the influence of hormones and health and age and we should respect that? I agree it’s not the best phrasing, and the only concerning entry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:25 PM
82

I have the best MIL (and therefore a husband who’s not like this abomination) and if my husband called to relay this awful story she would go absolutely nuts at him. She’d smack him for betraying his wife and mother of his child at her most vulnerable and painful moment and laughing about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:08 PM
152

This is so true. Women born in the 70’s to 90’s grew up in an unprecedented time for equality and feminism. My college graduation present was seeing USA women’s soccer win the World Cup in 1999. There was nothing we couldn’t accomplish. Our path was clear. Women started outperforming their male peers in college and beyond. The level of our accomplishments was rising up like Homer Simpson’s graph of pumpkin demand over October. But, alas...something went horribly wrong. Somehow we have a shallow,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:14 AM
7

It’s too bad you couldn’t get him arrested since he’s out drugging and assaulting women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:29 AM
79

It’s really mind boggling that performing oral sex on a woman is seen as gay(?) or submissive, when it’s literally the most heterosexual & powerful thing a man can do. Especially if he enjoys and masters it. Bragging about being unwilling due to machismo is a very strange thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:43 PM
37

“For me”. Tells you everything you need to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:37 PM
8

It’s entirely possible that 80% of men on dating apps have below average looks. The average and above average looking and behaving men are meeting women in while living their lives, not on OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:27 PM
1

With a good village and support, motherhood can be extremely joyful. When it’s another task you’re supposed to effortlessly integrate into your life... the mind boggles. And the better you juggle, the more tasks get thrown your way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:18 PM
2

Ummmm.... she said this about your existence, to your face? 😢. Or a sibling? This is sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:16 PM
16

You have a great head on your shoulders. I don’t mean to argue endlessly. I don’t know how your relationship is with your parents or siblings or your vision of family. I don’t know whether you adore children or feel neutral about them. You’ve thought about how to ameliorate the effects on the mother. But there are also the theoretical children to consider. Having a child is bringing someone into existence without their say-so. This comes with both material and emotional obligations. It’s why a w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:48 PM
69

As I’m sure you’re well aware, life with and without kids are vastly different paths. Love, support and these financial resources make the motherhood path easier, but they don’t cancel the fact that your life is no longer all about you. This is a very big thing to give up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:32 AM
13

That’s a wiser choice than risking ending up with someone like I said...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:47 PM
117

This is the most horrible and backward thing. This “husband stitch” practice should get OB’s suspended. It is so sneaky, it violates consent, and it’s ineffective to boot. Stiching the skin together causes painful intercourse and can cause permanent damage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:46 PM
39

😢. It was so hard for him, not because she died, but because she let herself go. While she was dying. She didn’t get dolled up anymore. I hope some of her relatives and friends were taking care of her while he bemoaned the disintegration of a decoration.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:46 PM
62

Love is supposed to apply a whole person, down to their soul. Cherishing them and accepting that they will age, and their body will change, especially if it has made children. Does this kind of love not exist anymore? Has it been decimated by our “better, prettier, next” culture? I’m so sad for humanity. Growing and changing together and accepting that this happens to both of you is part of the point of marriage. If someone who lives with you looks devoid of life and spirit, please look in the m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:32 PM
80

This is the really infuriating/ ironic thing. Nothing drains & changes women more than pregnancy, the duties of motherhood, and taking care of a household. Do not marry someone who not only fails to share the load but complains about what this lifestyle of sacrifice has done to you. Good lord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:29 PM
28

There are so few men who enjoy giving or getting affectionate touch for its own sake and not as a preamble to sex. This is such a shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:21 AM
18

Marriedly is my new favorite adverb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:02 AM
4

Hoping for the “us growing old together, holding hands and rocking on a porch swing while the sun sets” answer. And getting the “objectifying someone younger and hotter and related to you and totally inappropriate” answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:57 AM
63

Upon taking someone’s phone and holing up while he rifles through it... he didn’t find these by accident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:50 AM
37

When you’re comfortable enough to dance, sing and have joy without drinking. Why would anyone who likes you be threatened by this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:22 AM
45

“Why are you so into bats?” “Mr. Wayne, those are Rorschach blots. So a better question is, why are you so into bats?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:26 AM
8

This lucid perspective on what you and she deserve is wonderful. When your heart walks around outside your body in young people who you love, it’s vulnerable, it but makes priorities so clear. How should people treat each other? What kind of world am I contributing to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:49 PM
40

Yay, she did. She’s gone :-).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:53 PM
18

It is so deeply sad to me that OLD has obliterated the norm of sane and reasonable people dating and getting to know each other as full humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:43 PM
7

I definitely think that women are attuned to the unique features of other women. We see each other as interesting individuals, not as templates. Women will notice your style and expression. They will notice your face looking happy or your posture being confident. Women will compliment the aspects you’re proud of and trying to highlight. That’s why our interactions can be so genuine and uplifting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:31 PM
116

It’s so strange and sad that the pathological is becoming mainstream. Good men worth loving and marrying and having children with can’t bring themselves to hurt women (or children or animals, for that matter). To get a sexual charge from it is.... beyond imagining. It’s awful to raise children in this culture. I’m glad there’s a revolution. Moral objectivity exists, and is worth fighting for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:20 PM
27

How I wish we lived in a world where the existence of a woman’s naked body and the video / photographic proof that it exists wasn’t a factor in her suitability for a career / office.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:38 PM
80

Right?! There was about a decade, it seems, where our culture found a reasonable middle between the ridiculous extremes. One one hand, chastity - “don’t get naked or talk about it until you’re married.” On the other, promiscuity - “order up partners like pizzas, but for free; it’s empowering.” Both extremes all but guarantee a lack of respect and sexual satisfaction. Like someone said here, women are private property in the first instance and public property in the second. For a brief wonderful …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:15 PM
17

😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:40 PM
4

Volcels? Enthucels? Voluntarily & enthusiastically celibate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:44 AM
7

Aww, thanks my friend. I hope everyone here finds patient and considerate and wonderful people to enrich their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:33 PM
57

If you have a cat, watching a man interacting with it is a good way to tell a great many things about his sensual potential. Does he approach slowly? Ask you or the cat to approach? Does he observe cues? Is he patient? Gentle? Respectful? Watching to see where the cat leans in or away? Watching to see if the cat is happy and comfortable? Letting the cat go once it wants to? etc. Also this information will come out in conversation and be apparent in how and when you touch in the first few weeks. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 07:39 PM
14

I can respect that perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:49 AM
8

True. The three aspects that I loved, though were - he basically ignores someone attractive until she becomes interesting, he is a loving father, and he chooses his family over someone pretty & new.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:30 AM
19

I love my 4 to the moon and back, but I have not been awake and alone for more than 3 hours straight in the last 14 months and my daydream of van life is getting more vivid... I just wrote a script about our family’s quarantine experience called “There’s No I in Mom” which is getting well received but it’s stalling because the title is true and I can’t support the project like I want to...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:42 PM
25

This is an amazing plan. Women who grow up taking care of younger siblings are very aware what they’d be getting into raising children. This is in contrast to the vague idea of motherhood that some women are basing their future role on. I am one of them; I got a degree from a great school, where met a truly great person. I wanted to have both - children and a career. Long story short; I I don’t. I can’t juggle that well and 2/4 of our kids have special needs. At least my daughters and son have t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:35 PM
54

Spanglish is a wonderfully atypical movie where Adam Sandler plays a good father and husband who makes respectable choices while Tea Leoni has a (superbly acted) midlife crisis. It’s refreshingly off-script.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:42 PM
56

Mitochondrial DNA research for the win! Biologists and archaeologists can discover what history lost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:53 AM
73

It stinks though, that no matter how far you go back it’s just the father of the father of the father...etc. OP, your great grandmother sounds amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:52 AM
5

Married for 20 years and I’ve kept my last name legally. (It’s complicated things since the 4 kids and my husband share a name. My awesome MIL had to use her ID a couple of times to help me with random dumb misunderstandings. Yes, she’s the mother. Yes, the children have a different last name. Yes, still married...) I loved keeping my name for singing, school & writing. It fits better; it’s good alphabetically & aesthetically & sounds more professional. I just finished a script that may take off…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:49 AM
2

You sound like a wonderful and thoughtful role model to your stepdaughters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:55 PM
8

You’re right. She’s attractive without makeup. Let’s walk it back another step. Her value doesn’t depend on her beauty. Women exist as humans to thrive and think and triumph and dream and create. Not as decorations to look at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:47 PM
5

Sorry that shaving destroys your skin. And sorry that it’s difficult to stop doing so even though you want to. I hope you have supportive friends, family, coworkers who won’t bat and eye of you just stop. I did decades ago and it’s really freeing and an awesome screening tool to check for independent/ critical thinking when people react. Sometimes I’ll field objections for fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:44 PM
8

Yup. I don’t know how any adult who’s done endless decades of meals, dishes, bills, messes, laundry, and other chores could picture doing them all endlessly, for a lifetime, “out of love.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 02:41 AM
12

If sex is a chore in the relationship this also illuminates the quality of the sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 01:51 AM
6

Yup, busy adults usually get this all done without spending hours arguing over the fairness /division
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 01:48 AM
3

Every couple decides this. It gets communicated and figured out gradually. At some point, when (if) they were single adults living alone, they managed all of their cooking, cleaning and logistics singlehandedly. So taking care of these together as a couple would (arguably) be slightly more efficient and easier. There are many differences in strengths and interests. A woman can be a great and enthusiastic cook. A man can too. But signing on for daily maid and chef service to show your love is not…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 01:47 AM
1

This is not 100% a good thing. Access to pharmaceuticals can be positive for those who need them. But it’s a big negative to have our medical system (and culture) so highly influenced by the interests of pharmaceutical companies. There are commercials for psychoactive drugs during Hulu commercial breaks of children’s shows. It’s not as discussed or supported to address - nutrition, sleep, exercise, nature, friends, family, community, therapy - all of which are essential to mental health manageme…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 04:22 AM
46

Everything about dating today baffles me. I love phone calls to get to know someone briefly. That sounds really reasonable. Screening story - I went to college before cell phones (what a world), and there was a printed phone book (dorm phones) of everyone alphabetically with their picture. I happened to be first, of 2k students in my year. It was a catholic college with single sex dorms. And almost everyone lived on campus without a car. So the main social activity besides football games were do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:43 AM
48

Apologetically “didn’t feel sexy or want to participate” while he is getting off to her active labor 😢😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:45 PM
38

Is that in the “toe pick” voice? I sincerely hope so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:54 AM
32

My daughter had a surgery and 5 day stay in a children’s hospital. It was a veritable parade of wonderful women surgeons, doctors and nurses. The female empowerment was awesome, and it helped a lot with logistics too. My daughter is a teenager. Of the 15 medical professionals who performed the operation and monitored her recovery, 14 were women and one was a male nurse. He was very respectful of our request for another (woman) nurse for the first night of recovery. Since she’s old enough to mind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:08 AM
10

Thanks for everything you do. It’s been a rough year to be a teacher.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:22 AM
10

That’s a 110 year relationship, so truly those are lofty goals!! 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:50 PM
11

I don’t think the expectations are lower for teachers. There have been fewer instructional hours per student, but more logistical hours overall. Teachers and parents (and most students) are working harder than ever, just less efficiently. It’s a lose lose lose situation for teachers, parents, and students. At first there was a steep learning curve when school went virtual suddenly in spring 2020. And the timing of virtual school had so many unknowns. 2 weeks? 2 months? 6? 8?... In fall 2020 the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:17 PM
10

Yes. Sometimes angry music and a letter that no one sees, just to get the feelings out, is very therapeutic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:24 PM
3

Well, asking what her alternative is for breaking out onto a new phase besides sexy / fashion highlights the fact that there isn’t a popular forum outside of this sphere. There are hundreds of women’s magazines devoted to sexy fashion, makeup, sex, and fitness. These facets of womanhood are commodified and popularized. There are magazines devoted to music. Unfortunately, even in those magazines, woman musicians are glammed up, packaged and objectified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:54 AM
2

I feel as though the internet has officially broken humanity. People (men) with odd and disturbing appetites had to hide, and now they can find each other and get vocal and push the envelope...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:21 AM
92

I think it’s more of a demographic/ pragmatic concern about what happens when a critical mass of population is older / retired / infirm and there isn’t a young, strong, working contingent to support them. A lot of things should be restructured- the pyramid scheme of relying on high birth rates and taxing working children and grandchildren to fund current pensions is toppling already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:37 PM
27

I think Ogre Fiona is a babe, so she’s hot for 100% of the movie. And she’s even better in Shrek 4 where she never got rescued and is a badass battle ogress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:43 AM
23

You’re a wonderful person to make him comfortable. I’m so sorry you had this experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:37 AM
21

I’m learning this too. I was a filterless open book and that was a bad idea for many reasons. Then I discovered silence and a pencil for processing / venting and all has been well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:12 AM
30

Don’t post the practice tests online. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:10 AM
23

True. But if everyone who tires of their nonsense gives them a postgame analysis, they get better at pretending & posing as a quality man for longer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:09 AM
4

All four combos are possible. Experienced/ not and horrible in bed / not. I think there are inexperienced men willing to listen and learn. And experienced men who won’t. And inexperienced “know it all’s” who are awful, and experienced men who respect women and are giving and communicate. Women usually treat and judge men as individuals, not with categories according to their past sexual experiences. If only men could do the same for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:31 AM
13

Yes, it is sad that the process of slowly getting comfortable and intimate (over months or years, depending on the situation or age) is so rare now. Good sex can and should be mutually cultivated. The communication and trust is key.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:06 AM
12

I’m so sorry you got treated like this, and then someone who should love and support you and be outraged on your behalf justified it. People are not food. I’ve always liked the analogy that sexual encounters can be like food though. Just because enjoying both properly requires mindfulness and presence and creativity. Lazy types want quantity and convenience, rushing through to the next sugar/ salt / ketchup fix. A woman could be like a grocery store. A skilled partner putting in patience and eff…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:53 AM
31

Their youngest child is 18 I believe. Getting to the empty nest milestone, then divorcing is relatively common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:14 AM
22

This is so awful and sad. I’m sorry my friend. I hope you at least had a good family to be with in the face of this nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:19 AM
58

What’s seriously sad to me is the scores of men who claim this goes the other way. “I’m ugly so all the girls reject me since they’re shallow and awful.” Then they proceed to say and do and think the most despicable things about women. It’s not that women reject you because your outside is ugly. Your attitude, entitlement, objectification, and very soul are ugly. And the women who are kind to these men?? If they are beautiful, they are sending “signals.” If they don’t meet standards they risk be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:09 AM
49

I know there are women who genuinely enjoy makeup and smooth skin, and I say good for them. But the more conventionally gorgeous you are the harder it is to see anyone’s true character. Especially men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:04 AM
55

Yes, ma’am. I didn’t even realize at the time, I just treated myself as a whole person, not a decoration, and married a HVM who feels the same about women. This was 25 years ago, before shallowness was so common and the internet ruined dating (imho).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:54 PM
166

Hairy legs / no makeup are my favorite character screening tools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:57 PM
86

I want to hug her. She’s so smart and caring. Any human man with a brain and heart would feel so lucky to be her dad and treat her well. Poor dear girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:44 PM
19

That’s the nicest way to describe someone who would talk to his 6 year old like this. Poor sweet girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:42 PM
1

True. Just sharing a data point since you asked why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:31 AM
4

Depending on your age and theirs, men’s testosterone peaks in the early morning and that’s the most reliable time to keep an erection and sensation can be heightened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:17 AM
4

I think this is really important too - that men attend to their grooming, exercise, health and things under their control. But as you grow old together the hope is your mutual attraction is more than just physical. It certainly has a physical aspect though, you’re right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:16 AM
4

The deadbedrooms sub has some guys who are perplexed that effort in the household and technique in the bedroom can make a huge difference for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:13 AM
2

In ones 40’s, 50’s and beyond, women can start seriously outpacing men, libido-wise. (In your case it’s hard to know what counts as settling, because he seems great and generosity and technique are so important. Good luck figuring it out.). In marriages that make it through decades there’s the myth that women don’t want sex anymore, but I’d love to see actual data on who slows down when and why. Pleasure gap? Chore gap? Etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:07 AM
5

Religion is a double-edged sword regarding sex. Pros: it encourages- commitment / trust / exclusivity. Cons: it discourages- confidence / empowerment / respect / reverence / communication / pleasure. It is a shame that spiritual, transcendent, soul-nourishing, coupling is so rare. Women’s sexual capacity and range are astounding. This experience can happen for the man too, I believe. (As much as one can know what someone else’s experience is like just by talking with them, it sounds like my husb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 12:51 AM
221

Where will the eggs come from? Who will feed and nurture these babies? Don’t they realize that a world without sperm is possible today, and for the future of humanity women are bringing 90% of the reproductive resources? The “artificial womb” science sounds like the “Matrix science” where humans being incubated and kept unconscious and alive are a net source of energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:31 PM
13

I think part of the “innie=virginal vs outie= experienced” mindset is rooted in a bad misunderstanding of certain correlations. There are inexperienced women submitting/ agreeing to sex when they’re not properly aroused. So there’s not adequate blood flow to their genital area. (Not adequate for pleasure.). Experienced women won’t put up with this nonsense and insist on foreplay, and get more blood flow to the necessary area. This would be the the equivalent of women starting a huge movement tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:58 PM
39

I love and trust my husband to the moon and back and he loves my looks like Georgia O’Keeffe loves orchids, but there’s still no way there’s a picture of my genitalia going on a mobile network. Bad idea IMHO. Not secure or truly private.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:24 PM
25

It is beyond sad that the last word on vulva aesthetics is assumed to come from internet men. Husbands or otherwise. And that this post counts as a really enlightened and positive attitude. I envision a world in 50 years or so where every woman accepts and celebrates her miraculous genitals that have the power of giving her pleasure and bringing forth life itself. (And this abject nonsense about cataloguing and judging labia must die. Or be rebranded with a nickname that exudes confidence and bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 06:41 PM
40

Great mothers-in-law are a lifelong joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:48 PM
40

My husband’s family is the kindest, smartest, nerdiest, most supportive, hilarious, loving, amazing group of people. So when a HVM’s family is wonderful and it goes well, you will know and recognize this too. Good family raises good people. Knowing FDS tips, the most telling thing is that his family was concerned about our youth and age gap (5 years) and wanted assurance we’d both finish our degrees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:40 PM
22

This level of laziness and cluelessness used to surprise me. But alas, nothing surprises me anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:04 AM
47

And he didn’t clean up his DoorDash containers. She wakes up from 2 days of being incapacitated to his debris in the living room. And a 48 hour old biohazard kitchen floor that, while yucky, could have been dealt with in 10 minutes. And should have. Because E Coli.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:02 AM
22

You’re an amazing person who is a light to her in this time. You’re both so brave to move on to better things. It’s great that you have what she needs. And I’m sure she’ll pay it forward someday. Hurray for helping and being the change we want to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:44 AM
6

I’m so sorry my friend. I wish they would keep their saucer eyes to themselves and let you just be. And exist and look how you want to because it makes you happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:18 AM
8

I’m wondering a bit about methodologies/ causation and hope you can enlighten me. Fact (oversimplified) : men in relationships have better quality of life, better mental & physical health, live longer, etc. Men not in relationships do worse on these measures. (For women, roughly the opposite occurs.). Possibly 1 - The higher quality experience for the man is caused by being in a relationship with a woman. Possibility 2 - The higher quality experience for the man is caused by having characteristi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:48 AM
14

I can see the leaps in logic at work here. Take three things that are true. First, that women with FDS principles seek out strong female friendships and relationships. Second, that women are likely to be kind, fit, interesting, giving, and deserving of time. Third, that HVM are scarce. Add things that are not true - 1. life is about sex, 2. sexual orientation is a choice, and 3. true female friendship without sexual tension can’t exist - girls are all a pillow fight away from getting it on. Voil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:19 AM
11

That makes sense. I’m glad you found love and know what you want. Sorry about your family. You can use the same resources for an awesome trip or something to mark the occasion if you want. I was trying to get away with eloping myself 20 years ago and got talked out of it. I don’t love aesthetics and I suck at planning, and I’m a cheapskate. But for the sake of excellent people, I got all dolled up and had a church wedding and a party. And now that some of those people are in heaven I’m extra gla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:58 AM
15

The “people are looking at me” aspect of the wedding & reception was my very least favorite. But the experience of having a spectacular celebration with friends and family was amazing. Half of our extended family is from far away and getting pictures of everyone together was magical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:48 AM
52

That’s really sweet and amazing. I hope one day she’ll choose to be with a nice man who’ll value her once she values herself as worthy like that. Or I hope it’s a joke and she already is. She deserves a nice dinner and a back rub for serving the elderly with cleaning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:55 AM
16

Yes, I absolutely second the beard trimmer method for trimming the bikini area
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:46 AM
11

😢😢😢😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:59 AM
30

Go for it. Either way is great and I’m glad you’re comfortable either way. Shaved legs are so smooth and luxurious. But the upkeep is a pain. Hairy legs and no makeup is my preference and a totally excellent way to gauge who’s annoyed at women not paying their rent to exist with efforts to be attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:27 PM
37

I haven’t shaved my legs more than 3 times in the last 25 years. (I kind of like the smooth look but I hate the maintenance, I prefer being a rebel against beauty standards, and after you stop shaving, the hair doesn’t grow after a while, it’s soft and your legs stay warm and it’s awesome.) It’s crazy how random guys at the gym get grossed out. Guys with hairy legs too...I’m genuinely perplexed at their reasoning and used to engage. But now I don’t. I know it’s about me being confident, fully my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:14 PM
75

I was going to say this too. There is very little chance that an adult woman educated in science and working as a nurse came within 10 yards of that bathroom. I doubt she even saw it. If she did that’s why they broke up. He knows it’s disgusting. He hid it for 2 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:08 PM
78

Be safe with those headphones on though, my friend. Be aware of your surroundings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:42 AM
47

I have a lot of family in South Africa and we use WhatsApp to communicate, FWIW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:04 PM
6

You’re well on your way to deprogramming and reprioritizing how you see yourself and your body if you recognize this. You are healthier and feel better. The looking good is a side effect of health that you can embrace or ignore, but if you choose fashion and accentuate and appreciate your new looks for yourself that’s a positive. Your legs are for running. Your body is for you - giving yourself a long, full, healthy, life full of beautiful sights, sounds, and sensations. If you want to continue …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:06 PM
30

I’ve had a couple of UTIs (without symptoms like fever or painful urination, so I don’t know in time) that compromised my bladder and kidneys too and landed me in the ER. Thank you for this information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:56 PM
65

There are so many men whose priorities are - convenience, variety, and the excitement of the next thing just out of their reach. Which loses value once they reach it. Blech.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:37 AM
32

This statistic is so chilling 😢. The strict stay at home orders trapped people in dangerous situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:07 AM
18

The partners of real quality are so rare. There were a precious few who understood what the past year required - stepping up for their household and children, flexibility, patience, and division of unexpected labor. The others were so perplexed they were expected to live with their offspring and were so focused on the unfairness of it all, not solutions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:06 AM
25

The side effects of hormonal birth control are often discounted, or at least weighed in a manner that assumes women should be solely responsibility for birth control. Male birth control could be revolutionary. However, the trust one would have to put in their partner that he’s taking it responsibly is huge. (Or that he remains faithful while he’s temporarily infertile.). I think the possibility for the man to take the initiative on birth control in a LTR is wonderful. The skeptic in me is curiou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:34 PM
21

I think this number is increasing at a concerning pace. For generations, a large number of siblings, neighborhood groups of kids playing, and the school experience meant that empathy for others had to be practiced even if it didn’t come naturally. Now, there are only children on the internet all day who struggle to believe in the full existence of other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 09:56 PM
1

Ok. I can’t marry you, I’m already married (19 years), so playing the field it is. I’m happy that you have self-awareness and a goal.
/r/seduction17/04/21 06:33 PM
1

To me this is sad - women who use a kind friend for emotional support but physically connect with someone else. You can find a woman to share both with, I imagine. The physical and the emotional.
/r/seduction17/04/21 06:31 PM
1

For what it’s worth, there are many paths to happiness and many people with regrets. I think Chad and co may have exaggerated, but that’s not even the point. It only takes one person to love you properly. I know that’s a minority opinion on this sub, but it can be true. Good luck my friend.
/r/seduction17/04/21 06:30 PM
1

You’re almost there, imho. You can also have empathy and understanding toward women. “The ways of women and manhood” isn’t a magic key you lack. Women are people too, who have full lives and are also going through things. If your mission becomes to connect with another full human I think it would improve your mindset a lot.
/r/seduction17/04/21 06:23 PM
1

I don’t think women necessarily judge you for your lack of experience. But they will absolutely judge you for your mindset towards women as a stepping stone for filling emptiness. Your negativity towards yourself, and hopelessness can definitely be turned around. Interacting with people in real life and not in front of a screen is a big positive step. You grew up with a sister. Remember way back when you were little and climbing trees together and girls were people too?
/r/seduction17/04/21 06:19 PM
34

😢😢. I am so sorry for your pain. And sorry that since you have children together with this horrid person you have to deal with him for so long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:18 PM
9

I would really love to do a tasteful photo shoot with a lady photographer, perhaps fully old school with film negatives. Sepia makes everything classy 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:13 AM
45

Yup. I’m terrified for my daughters to start dating in this cultural moment. It’s never been less rewarding or more dangerous for their mental and physical health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:07 AM
15

My husband and I say this too. People need all of the spectacle, smoke and mirrors because they lack good fundamentals. Good sex is simple, but not easy - as in, don’t get lazy, pay attention to non-verbal cues. Trust, practice, communication, and dedication to your partner’s pleasure makes good intimacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:00 AM
4

I’m so sorry my friend. It’s awful that he wore you down like that. I hope that your videos and pictures are safe. I wish there was a way to remote delete material after a relationship ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:42 AM
10

My minor disagreement: Twilight, especially the books, sensualized restraint, which is a nice change of pace, and the series had characters falling in love with the full personality of their love interest. Midnight Sun shows this the most. From Edwards’s perspective, he’s so blown away that Bella is kind and smart and giving. Since Edward had spent so much time seeing into the minds of selfish, shallow people he can’t tolerate he’s fascinated by Bella’s mind and personality as much as her looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:39 AM
5

Alice Fraser is so wonderful. She has an hour long special on Amazon that’s fantastic. Deep thoughts, quirkiness, stage presence. She’s charming and hilarious without being crude or offensive. Which is funny too, but sometimes becomes a crutch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:06 PM
32

I wonder if there’s something essential about “the forbidden/ the pursuit” for activating most men’s’ sexuality. If so, every cultural normalization just turns into a slippery slope toward wanting the next thing most women won’t (or will reluctantly) do. And it’s essential to the conquest to convince a woman to perform uncomfortably or reluctantly. Sex before commitment? So hot, but everyone does it now, no longer works. Women owning their sexual pleasure? Ditto. Different positions? They’re all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:36 PM
2

It’s sad to me if / that she hasn’t, and no one has insisted she prioritize her pleasure. I feel like if one had accomplished a mind-blowing, toe-curling, soul-cleansing climax with someone who gives a damn, “experimenting and fun” wouldn’t be the sex goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 03:17 AM
1

Yes, we try to get me 3 orgasms for every 1 of my husband’s. To narrow the pleasure gap. As our service to humanity 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 03:12 AM
1

I concur. I think it’s wise to check out someone’s attitude toward intimacy in the context of a committed relationship. If you’re engaged but not married, I think living together is really illuminating. People can pretend in spurts but the daily slog shows their true colors. So, you can both try out how well you cohabitate, communicate, split chores, and if they are a considerate lover. If not, it’s easier to call off a wedding than get divorced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:16 AM
14

I’m 43, and so very happy I grew up before the internet and smartphones. And so concerned for my teenage children growing up now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 09:56 PM
4

There are a few really simple, non-expensive touches that go a long way. A half hour clean & tidy and a $50 trip to Target or IKEA could make the difference between impressive & meh. Which is the question. Common themes here. Bathroom trash with lid. Nice hand towels. Uncluttered space. Clean & tidy. Good ambiance & smell. A couple of drink options. Clean, made bed.
/r/seduction10/04/21 09:47 PM
1

This is a good message too. Be yourself. Get things that you can afford, that make you happy. But having a tidy space, especially one that reflects some concern about a guest’s comfort and some maturity, goes a long way to impress.
/r/seduction10/04/21 09:44 PM
2

Yes, anything that shows hobbies / interests / ambition / taste is great.
/r/seduction10/04/21 09:40 PM
2

It’s just nice to have another beverage to choose from if you don’t drink, or don’t want to. Sparkling water, iced tea, diet soda, regular soda. To serve your guest a drink without assuming she’ll want alcohol.
/r/seduction10/04/21 09:34 PM
21

I think no TV in the bedroom is a good sign.
/r/seduction10/04/21 05:22 PM
10

Art, books, nice music selection, musical instruments he can play, framed pictures of people & interesting places. Somewhat stocked kitchen, with something non alcoholic to drink besides water. Nice towels in bathroom. Good sheets. Nice smell. Color scheme.
/r/seduction10/04/21 05:19 PM
24

To develop high self-esteem, set goals and become the kind of person you can respect and admire. Help people. Be kind, patient and calm. Respect other’s opinions and listen to what they’re saying. You could learn something. Be interested in learning things. Read books. Seek out supportive & positive friends. Have professional goals. Improve yourself (learn a language, take another class). Have hobbies. Eat healthy. Exercise. Sleep well. Stand up straight and breathe well. Find the humor in diffi…
/r/seduction06/04/21 05:14 PM
2

If it’s relevant to a conversation you’re having about art, absolutely bring it up. People want to hear about you too. If you’re not comfortable saying the name, talk about the art itself or your job. Or ask them what art they’re into and discuss with them leading.
/r/seduction06/04/21 05:04 PM
4

Just my advice, YMMV. (When you’re talking with friends, you should be politely interested. You don’t need to stare.) When you’re speaking with someone you’re interested in, take long turns listening carefully while noticing what their face looks like. What exact shade are their eyes? What shape? Nice smile? Could you draw their features? This keeps your focus on them without staring them dead in the eye endlessly. (Which is too much, they’ll look away. You’re going for interested, not non-blink…
/r/seduction06/04/21 04:56 PM
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